#I mean no judgement herre

[m-i-r-p]

I don’t often write in 1st person, but when I do you can be sure it will be a WILD WILD ride.

[the-laughing-lunatic]

Mediscout cute headcanons!!!

(Omg yea I love these guys so much, def one of my main ships. I also rlly like their dynamic in emesis blue but y’know, not very cute. I have a lot of thoughts about these guys so I accidentally made this really long— word count: 1714. Thx for requesting! :3)

Medic x Scout headcanons!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

☆Platonic☆

Scout’s definitely scared of Medic at first 

I mean, when your coworker mentions plans about putting a baboon uterus inside you you’re gonna be a little on edge

Avoids checkups for so long Medic has to find him and drag Scout himself to the medbay

“Sheiße, you are acting like a little child right now, it is not such a big deal Herr Scout. I am simply going to check a few things.”

“Well I’m sorry if I ain’t too thrilled to have some psycho puttin’ needles or animal parts or whatever in me.”

Medic groaned. “I just need to check your temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure. Now can you please shut your mouth and let me work?”

While he took Scout’s heart rate, both annoyed, Archimedes flew to Scout’s shoulder and nuzzled into the man’s neck

After the checkup Medic sighed and ushered his dove over. “Him? Really Archimedes?” 

The dove cooed. “Well then, I trust your judgement, I suppose I’ll try to be nicer to him.”

After that he did try to be kinder to Scout, staying around him more, listening to what he’s saying at dinner, looking through his room to learn more about him—

That’s not how Scout interpreted it though, and one day when Medic was trailing a little too close to him again he just snapped “Will you fuckin’ cut it out!?”

“Cut what out?”

“This- this weird stalkerish thing you’re doing. What, you makin’ fun of me? You gonna take my organs in the middle of the night? What do you want?”

“Oh. I was trying to be nicer to you. I could stop if you want.”

“If you wanna be nice you could try talkin’ to me for once.”

And Medic did

Both of them are absolute yappers, and Scout quickly got more comfortable with Medic as they talked more

He’ll never forget the first time he saw Medic laugh

Like, genuinely laugh

He’d seen Medic laugh many times before, either on the operating table or during battle but it was always just…scary

When he actually laughed Scout couldn’t help but laugh as well, because Medic’s real laugh was so different of what he had thought of him

It was warm and nice, and suddenly Medic wasn’t just this psycho ex-doctor, he was also his friend

When they go out for drinks Medic often has to carry Scout back to the base because of his incredibly low alcohol tolerance (not that it’s hard though)

Medic would teach Scout how to take care of his birds in the case he was especially busy, Scout’s their godfather now

I feel like they’d also work well in a qpr, though Medic would have to help Scout a little since he’s been comfortable with his asexuality for longer and has probably been in one before

I headcanon them as both on the ace spectrum so I’m gonna delve into that a bit

I feel like Scout is graysexual while Medic is completely sex-repulsed

Scout honestly would’ve thought he was allosexual for the rest of his life until he heard Medic talking about how being ace felt for him

And he was like “huh, I relate to some of that”

Scout definitely has a lot of questions though

“So like- what’s romantic? Cus I don’t wanna take this too far, but you’re my cucumber, or squash— whatever the word is an’ I wanna show that I care about ya.”

“It’s zucchini, Jeremy. And the point of being in a queerplatonic relationship is that we get to make our own rules for what works for us. All you have to do is ask me if you want to try something.”

“Oh, um, well then. Is it okay if I kiss your cheek, doc?”

“Yes, Jeremy, it’s very okay.”

♡

Biggest dorks ever btw

Just so you know

☆Romantic☆

Medic would fall in love (or realize it at least) over something trivial

Accidentally brushing hands, a word of praise after a battle that made Medic especially appreciated, Scout falling asleep on his shoulder at movie night, etc.

It was weird, because Scout was almost the opposite of his type, he was loud, arrogant, and less than intelligent, but he accepted Scout as the outlier

Even though Medic fell first he didn’t initiate it

Though his moral compass was less than straight when it came to advancing the field of medicine, it felt weird to be the one starting anything with a guy nearly 20 years younger than him

He even performed a brain scan on Scout just to double-check his brain was fully developed (surprisingly, it was) so he could feel less weird about his crush

For a long time he just thought of it as an enjoyable distraction, not anything that could go anywhere

Scout liked Ms. Pauling, and Medic was fine with it. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to date Scout, he just liked the idea of a relationship, and Scout was an attractive man he could project those wants onto.

At least that’s how he reasoned it to himself

The giddy laugh Medic couldn’t help but let out every time he saw him, the way he always made sure to be gentler when he gave Scout his shots, how a Boston accent now equaled attractive in his mind (that didn’t come from Scout though, that’d be ridiculous)

With Scout though, his moment of realization was much less trivial

He was at four health a minute away from the end of the match, desperately trying to keep the blood from the bullet wound in so he wouldn’t have to go to respawn

Getting in respawn at the end of a match was miserable, because you might get stuck in there for hours after so everyone tried to avoid it at all costs

Scout’s eyes widened as he watched his health drop to three, no dispenser in sight

He closed his eyes and mentally prepared himself for sitting in the cold room for god know how long, until he saw a light above him

Holding his medigun, Medic stood above him, and the red glow surrounding him as he healed him made him almost look like an angel, his saviour

A psychotic angel, but an angel nonetheless

He felt Medic grab him by his collar (at what point did his knees go weak?) and say to him “Get up schweinhund, and fight.”

They won the match, at least that’s what Scout heard, he didn’t remember anything after Medic saved him

His entire body was on autopilot until the time he went to bed, when he had all night to think about how he was definitely attracted to guys

He definitely had a type though, regardless of gender

Glasses, dark hair, smarter and more mature than him (though that was a low bar), an itty bitty bit psychotic and have huge honkers— (jk jk jk) 

Scout starts coming to the medbay for the tiniest things now so he can see Medic more

“Medic, I got a splinter” “Medic, my elbow’s sore” “Medic, I have a major crush on you and don’t know what to do with it”

After a bit of this, Scout just gave up excuses, Medic didn’t seem to mind his company

It became routine, after dinner Scout’d follow him to the medbay and talk with him while  Medic filled out paperwork, occasionally giving a nod or short question to let Scout know he was still listening

One night though, Scout didn’t follow him back

Medic was disappointed, he had gotten rather fond of his chatter, but shrugged it off as Scout being tired

After a few minutes of paperwork, there was a knock at the door

He opened it to see a very nervous Scout holding a bouquet of roses

“H- hey doc! Um, y’know, we’ve been hangin’ out for a while, I really like you, and I hope you at least like me a little, so, uh, wanna go on a date sometime? Please?”

Medic just stands there for a solid bit before taking the flowers and smiling. “I’d love to.”

Scout takes him to a nice restaurant (that was definitely his idea and not Spy’s) and pays the bill for the both of them, which was substantial because Medic has a taste for the most expensive things on the menu

And Scout is a hella picky eater

“So like, can I have the steak, but - and stay with me here - you grind it up, grill it, cut one of the rolls in half and add the steak, along with fuckin’ ketchup, mustard, lettuce, pickles—”

“Sir, are you describing a burger to me?”

“...yeah?”

“It’s on the kids menu.”

“Oh. Sweet, then can I have that?”

After the date Medic lets Scout kiss him

They suck I hate them so much I don’t think about them all the time (lying)

Nicknames Scout calls Medic: Doc, Angel, Angelcakes, Babe

Nicknames Medic calls Scout: Hase, Schatz, Liebling, Dear

On the battlefield Scout’s constantly by Medic

“Hey Angelcakes, check this out!” “Didja see that? Didja see that?”

If they have to be separated any time Scout sees him he’ll give Medic a kiss

“Hase you’re at ten health, can you please stop trying to kiss me for a second so I can heal you?” 

“Ugh, fine.”

After he’s done Medic gives Scout a kiss. “Thank you, on your way.”

Clingy ass motherfuckers

Scout’s way more obvious with it than medic though

Medic hardly even has to do anything, they’ll just be talking and Scout’ll notice half-way in the conversation that he’s cuddled up in Medic’s arms

Scout often sits in Medic’s lap as he works, rambling on about some comic he read or whatever.

After a few months of dating Medic only sleeps in Scout’s room

It feels more homey than his, which he admittedly already slept in very little due to his unfortunate habit of passing out at his desk

Nights often consist of Scout cuddled into Medic’s chest while Medic reads aloud to the both of them

(real talk reading together is such an underrated couple activity can we talk about this—)

“ —alright, that’s the end of the chapter. Liebling, are you asleep?”

“Nah, just relaxed. Love you angel.”

“I love you too Jeremy, Goodnight.”

They are the biggest saps ever and I will stand by this until the day I die

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 

[butmakeitgayblog]

Oooo I see what Anon is asking.

I’m a glutton for punishment so I still follow Eliza on instagram (I welcome all judgement 😂 it’s fine, I’ll survive.)

I saw this pic in particular today that could def be Clexafied. I’m assuming this might be what they’re talking about.

But you’re 100% correct. Eliza just looks… gaunt. That’s the best way to put it. For a couple years now, she’s just looked totally unhealthy to me 😕

Which I hate to see. I hate to see her transformation both physically and emotionally, as a fan. It’s all just… shitty, to put it lightly, as a whole. She used to be so vibrant.

😂 no I don't judge you for still following her, to each their own. I just myself find anything about her eyeroll-worthy anymore. But that pic yes very much could be a Clexa pic snd I never would've seen it probably because I don't follow her, so there is that.

For the sake of the devil I did scope her IG for a quick sec and even found this

Tell me you've ever seen more milf Clarke from professor au vibe in your life??? The first time Lexa insists Clarke come along on their yearly faculty vacation? Getting to walk hand in hand with Elbow Patches through the very same tombs, ruins, and necropoleis that she'd spent those first weeks as just herr student and sort-of-friend hearing about in Lexa's excited dorky ramblings, doodles, and overly expressive hand gestures? And now she has her own pictures and her own memories to take home to Madi, now she can ramble on to her own friends about how excited that goon behind the camera got at the sight of a newly discovered piece of limestone. Like???? Please.

So it is possible, it's just really fuckin rare and usually when her eyes are closed or not visible so tell me what that means

[kattestrophe]

Hans Hermann von Katte’s farewell letter to his family

Because @citizen-zero asked and my friend shall receive! Translation by yours truly, do contact me if you find a more fitting phrasing.

English translation

“In tears I want to dissolve, when I think, my father! that this paper will cause you the greatest grief a loyal father’s heart can feel, that the hope you harboured for my well-being and your comfort in old age have to disappear all of a sudden, that your troubles and diligence for my education to the maturity of the good luck you wished me was for nothing, yes! that I have to wither in my prime before I am able to show you and the world the fruits of your admonitions and my acquired knowledge. How I thought I would rise in the world and live up to your hopes! How I believed that I did not lack my timely happiness and well-being, how smitten was I with the certainty of great renown! But all in vain. How negligible are men’s thoughts, all at once everything collapses, and how sadly does the scene of my life change. How different is my current state from what I imagined. Instead of the path to honour and renown I have to wander the path of disgrace and a wretched death, but how unfathomable, oh Lord! are Your paths and how inexplorable are Your judgements. It is rightfully said that God’s paths are not men’s paths and men’s paths are not God’s paths. Had I continued in certainty, and had I forgotten God over all the happiness and well-being and had I put Him last: Would I not have preferred the path of the flesh, of sins and of lust to the path of God in good days? Yes, surely something like this would have led me away from God instead of to Him. The damned ambition that is fed to one since childhood without truly knowing its meaning would have continued on and on and would have attributed to the vain mind what truly only comes from God. The just and merciful God wanted to prevent this, and since His many and diverse signs were not listened to, He had to catch me in this way to prevent me from falling further into perdition and possibly even into eternal damnation. For this He shall be complimented by me!

So compose yourself, my father! and truly believe that God is involved, nothing can happen without His intention, not even a sparrow can fall to the ground. He is the one who governs and conducts everything with His holy word, so this my fate comes from Him too. While the manner of my death is bitter and harsh, the hope and certainty of future salvation is all the more sweet and pleasant, while it is connected to disgrace and infamy, it is nothing compared to future glory.

Console yourself, my father! since God has given you more sons, whom he might bestow upon more good luck in the world, to allow you, my father, to live to feel the joy about them that you hoped to find with me in vain, which I want for you from the depths of my soul. Meanwhile I thank you with filial respect for all fatherly loyalty bestowed upon me from my childhood to the current hour. May God, the mightiest of all, reward you a thousand times for the love you have shown me and replace with my brothers what I have lacked. May He keep and protect you to an old and grey age. May He feed you with well-being and water you with the mercy of his Christ. 

For all insubordination, unwillingness and recusancy towards you I subserviently ask for your forgiveness, and since it is the last thing that I will ask of you, my father, in this life, I hope that you will not refuse it, since I am sure that God will grant this to me too.

Now nothing is left except to close with this consolation: While you, my father, have never experienced anything high or noble about me in this world, o! be sure that you will meet in heaven all the higher

Your

Son, loyal even in death.

But what should I tell you, most lovely Mama! whom I loved so much as if the band of nature had connected us – and you, dearest siblings! How should I institute my memory for you? My situation does not allow me to show you all that I have in my heart.

I am at death’s door, thus I have to be careful to enter with a clean and holy soul, so I can not waste time and only leave you this quote as a memory: 1. Book of Moses, Chapter 17, Verse 1 when God said to Abraham: walk before me and be pious.”

German under the cut

Entnommen aus Heynen, Walter (Hg.): Das Buch deutscher Briefe. Wiesbaden 1957. S. 96-98.

“In Tränen möchte ich zerrinnen, wenn ich daran gedenke, mein Vater! daß dieses Blatt Ihnen die größte Betrübnis, so ein treues Vaterherz empfinden kann, verursachen soll, daß die gehabte Hoffnung meiner zeitlichen Wohlfahrt und Ihres Trostes im Alter mit einem Mal verschwinden muß, daß Ihre angewandte Mühe und Fleiß in meiner Erziehung zu der Reife des mir gewünschten Glückes sogar umsonst gewesen, ja! daß ich schon in der Blüte meiner Jahre mich neigen muß, ohne vorher Ihnen und der Welt die Früchte Ihrer Vermahnungen und meiner erlangten Wissenschaften zeigen zu können. Wie dachte ich nicht in der Welt mich empor zu bringen und Ihrer gefaßten Hoffnung ein Genüge zu tun! wie glaubte ich nicht, daß es mir an meinem zeitlichen Glück und Wohlfahrt nicht fehlen könnte, wie war ich nicht eingenommen von der Gewißheit eines großen Ansehens! aber alles umsonst. Wie nichtig sind nicht der Menschen Gedanken, mit einem Mal fällt alles über einen Haufen, und wie traurig ändert sich nicht die Scene meines Lebens. Wie gar unterschieden ist mein jetziger Stand mit dem, womit ich in meinen Gedanken schwanger ging. Ich muß anstatt den Weg zur Ehre und Ansehen, den Weg der Schmach und eines schändlichen Todes wandern, aber wie unbegreiflich o Herr! sind Deine Wege und unerforschlich Deine Gerichte. Wohl recht heißet es, Gottes Wege sind nicht der Menschen Wege und der Menschen Wege sind nicht Gottes Wege. Würde ich etwan in der Sicherheit fortgegangen, und bei alle dem Glücke und Wohlleben Gott vergessen und ihn hintangesetzt haben: würde ich nicht vielmehr bei denen guten Tagen den Weg des Fleisches, der Sünden und der Wollust dem Wege Gottes vorgezogen haben? Ja gewiß, es hätte mich solches vielmehr von Gott ab, als ihm zu geführet. Die verdammte Ambition, die einem von der Kindheit an, ohne den rechten Begriff davon zu haben, eingeflößet wird, würde immer weiter gegangen sein, und zuletzt dem eiteln Verstande zugeschrieben haben, was doch einzig und allein von Gott kömmt. Solchem hat der gerechte und gütige Gott wollen zuvorkommen, und da seinen öfteren und vielfältigen Regungen nicht Gehör gegeben, auf solche Art mich fassen müssen, um daß ich nicht weiter ins Verderben stürzete und gar die ewige Verdammnis mir zuzöge. Dafür sein er auch von mir gelobet!

Fassen Sie sich demnach, mein Vater! und glauben sicherlich, daß Gott mit im Spiel, ohne dessen Willen kann ja nichts geschehen, auch nicht einmal ein Sperling auf die Erde fallen. Er ist es ja, der alles regieret und leitet durch sein heiliges Wort, darum kommt auch dieses mein Verhängnis von ihm her. Ist gleich die Art und Weise meines Todes bitter und herbe, so ist die Hoffnung und die Gewißheit der künftigen Seligkeit desto süßer und angenehmer, ist er gleich mit Schimpf und Schmach verknüpfet, ist es doch nichts im Vergleich der künftigen Herrlichkeit.

Trösten Sie sich, mein Vater! hat Ihnen doch Gott mehr Söhne bescheret, denen er vielleicht mehr Glück in der Welt geben wird, um Ihnen, mein Vater, die Freude an denenselben erleben zu lassen, die Sie vergeblich an mir gehoffet, welches ich Ihnen von Grund meiner Seele wünsche. Unterdessen danke ich mit kindlichem Respect für alle mir erwiesene Vatertreue von meiner Kindheit an bis zu jetziger Stunde. Gott der Allerhöchste vergelte Ihnen tausendfach die mir erzeigte Liebe und ersetze Ihnen durch meine Brüder, was bei mir rückständig geblieben. Er erhalte und bewahre Sie bis in Ihr hohes und graues Alter. Er speise Sie mit Wohlergehen und tränke Sie mit der Gnade seines Christus.

Für alle Ihnen jemals erwiesenen Ungehorsam, Unwillen und Widerspenstigkeit, bitte ich in aller Unterthänigkeit um Vergebung, und da es das letzte ist, was ich Sie, mein Vater, in diesem Leben bitten werde, so hoffe ich, Sie werden mir solches nicht versagen, da ich auch dieses von Gott gewiß versichert bin. 

Nun ist nichts mehr übrig, als daß ich mit diesem Trost schließe: Haben Sie gleich, mein Vater, nichts Hohes und Vornehmes in dieser Welt an mir erlebet, o! so sein Sie versichert, daß sie desto höher im Himmel finden werden

Ihren

Bis im Tode getreuen Sohn.

Was soll ich Ihnen aber sagen, liebwertheste Mama! die ich so sehr, als hätte uns das Band der Natur verbunden, geliebet – und Euch, liebste Geschwister! Wie soll ich mein Andenken bei euch stiften? Mein Zustand läßt nicht zu, alles, was ich auf dem Herzen habe, Euch vorzustellen.

Ich stehe vor der Pforte des Todes, muß also bedacht sein, mit einer gereinigten und geheiligten Seele einzugehen, kann also keine Zeit versäumen, und laß Euch nur den Spruch zum Andenken 1. Buch Moses Kap. 17, V. 1 da Gott zu Abraham sprach: Wandle vor mir und sei fromm.”

[michael-weinstein]

Reacting to David Hurwitz

Some weeks ago I came across the recently opened Youtube channel of David Hurwitz, a music critic who wrote reviews for High Fidelity and Amazon, and the founder and executive editor of the website Classics Today. I agree with some of his opinions, though I do disagree with him a good deal. But the straw that broke the camel's back was one of his early videos, which is titled: Classical Music's 10 Dirtiest Secrets. I was so alarmed by it, that I decided at once to stop watching his videos and to omit him from my YouTube recommendations. Today I've decided to finally face Mr. Hurwitz and express my reactions to his "secrets". Now, more than my opinions being lauded, I actually want people to congratulate me for copying the entire script, unabridged, because it was painful for me to do so, since I disagree with practically every "secret". And in response to some of the comments, Mr. Hurwitz said something to the effect of "some people here don't have a sense of humor!" Well, I do have a sense of humor (you can blame my parents for that), but if you, dear Herr Prof. Hurwitz, say you're joking, you've got to make that more clear in your arguments. Well, here is, without further ado, Classical Music's 10 Dirtiest Secrets by Mr. David Hurwitz.

[This is] the antidote to all of that PR we hear these days, that tells us that just because something is "classical", it must all be equally fabulous and we just can't get enough. Well, here's a news flash: it's not. Witness the following:

1. Mozart really does all sound the same. Yes, he was a genius. Yes, he wrote 620-some-odd pieces in 35 years, but let's face it. How different can they be? Even Toscanini thought they all sounded the same.

2. Beethoven's Grosse Fuge is just plain ugly. I mean, if you ever listen to that thing recently, it sounds like four dying cattle. I know we're supposed to be amazed at its contrapuntal mastery, and it's transcendental what-not whatever. It's ugly, let's not kid ourselves.

3. Wagner's operas are much better with cuts. I mean nothing, nothing has the right to be 4 or 5 hours long at a stretch. I mean, you go to the Met at 6 in the evening, and you don't leave till after midnight? You got to be crazy. The shorter it is, the better it is.

4. No one cares about the first 3 movements of Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique. I mean, nobody. We all want to hear The March to the Scaffold and then The Dream of the Witches' Sabbath. That's the hot stuff, that's were the music gets really juicy and exciting. The first 3 movements are more than a half hour [long], they're just preludial. I mean you sit through them politely, but then you wait to get your pulse racing, right? When the guy's head gets chopped off and the witches start hopping around. I mean, you know, he really should have just written the last 2 [movements] and left off the first 3, I think.

5. Schoenberg's music never sounds more attractive, no matter how many times you listen to it. Of course we're told that, you know, it's only a question of getting accustomed to its particular unique sound world and all that, and the more attention you give to it, the more rewarding it will be. Wrong, it's never more rewarding, it never sounds better. He was just a difficult truculant kind of guy, and he wrote difficult truculant music. Even his tonal music is hard to listen to. It's just difficult, period. Accept it, live with it, and love it, or don't.

6. Schumann's orchestration is really bad, and needs improvement. Once in a while a conductor will show up who says: "Well, you know I'm playing the original orchestration, it's better than everybody thought". No, it's not. It's thick, it's muddy, it doesn't do the music justice, and everybody tinkers with it. Even people who don't physically rescore it mess with the balances or whatever, just to make it listenable. Otherwise it's simply impossible.

7. Bruckner couldn't write a symphonic allegro to save his life. I mean, he calls some movements allegro, but who is he kidding. Even his early school symphony (you know, the one we call [Symphony No.] 00) has a first movement that's Allegro molto vivace. I mean, who is he kidding? It's not allegro, it's not molto, it's not vivace, it's all just slow. It's the way the man was, and we have to accept it as it is.

8. Liszt is trash. Enough said.

9. The so-called "happy ending" of Shostakovich's Fifth is actually perfectly sincere. Now, recent scholarship has revealed that this happy ending with the trumpets going nuts, and cymbals and timpani pounding away, crashing and bashing, is supposed to be a hidden signal for the misery and suffering of the Russian people. So while the music itself is going nuts with joy, we're supposed to be secretly sympathizing with their unhappiness and with the composer's personal misery. Well, I don't know. Freud said sometimes a happy ending is just a happy ending. And you know, it's okay to be happy. Finally:

10. It's a good thing that only about 200 Bach cantatas survive. I mean really, folks, have you listened to all 200 of them? Do you just like come home from work and say, "Heck! I really need to hear a 25-minute Lutheran penitential cantata about suffering and misery"? I mean, how many of them can we stand? Supposedly about a third of them are missing, I mean more than a hundred of them. And if you're really really that concerned about it, if you really think it's a loss to humanity, I have a suggestion of where you might want to look for them. You see, when Bach died his estate got divided up between his wife and kids, and the oldest one Wilhelm Friedemann (who was supposedly a drunk organist or something like that) had a daughter. And his daughter got married to a business man, and sometime around the 1760s or so (or '70s, I don't know somewhere around then) they moved to Oklahoma. So, if you happen to have nothing to do, and you're really desperate for a new Bach cantata, start looking in barns at Oklahoma, because they started a farm there, and so somewhere, maybe, you know, near Oklahoma City or somewhere out there in the Texas Panhandle, you may find a hundred or so Bach cantatas!

And with that, let me just suggest that you should use your own judgement, listen fearlessly, judge mercilessly, enjoy what you want, love what you love and don't worry about the rest.

Well, now it's my time to respond (wow, it was difficult copying all of that).

1. I have to admit that I'm not so hot on Mozart. I get the feeling that I must worship him because he was a colossal genius, in a sense he's an encylopedia figure (and it's weird that I don't feel the same way about Bach, Beethoven or Haydn who are usually considered as encylopedic figures, and Mr. Hurwitz has himself admitted that although he respects Bach, he doesn't like a lot of his music specifically for this reason). However, I do think that there's a very noticeable difference between Mozart's 1st symphony and his 40th (I haven't heard the Jupiter, so the analogy is not perfect, but at least I'm honest about it). Besides, I personally do not really like Toscanini, but even without that, just because Toscanini said something doesn't mean it needs to apply to everything and everyone.

2. Well, Beethoven's Grosse Fuge is an acquired taste. I mean yes, it's difficult, it's hard to get through, it's angry, and it might even be "ugly", but that's because Beethoven wanted to be ugly. If you don't like it, just go and leave.

3. This one touches a sick nerve because I am a Wagnerian. Yes, some people are crazy in order to go and be in the theater for 6 hours for a Wagner opera. I do get that sometimes it's difficult to be attentive throughout such a long performance (especially if it's a bad one), but Wagner knew what he was doing when he was composing such long operas (and mind you, I don't always agree with his megalomaniac ideas). It is Wagner's right to have Meistersinger run for 5 hours, just as it is Puccini's right to have La Bohème run for 2 hours. Once again, if you don't want to be in an opera house for 6 hours, don't go. But don't tell me that everything is better when it's short.

4. Once again, this one also touches a sick nerve as I'm a deep fan Berlioz's Symphonie fantastique. I should remark that aside from its programmatic function, I don't get the fourth movement, but I would be the first to admit that the finale is the X-Factor of the symphony. That said however, there is a place for the first 3 movements. If they're preludial, they're supposed to be so! And they're much more than a prelude! The first movement has lots of moments of teenage anxiety, depression and hallucination and one of the criteria for a good performance would be for me how much it gets the madness and extremness in this movement. In short, how "teenagery" it is. The second movement also seems to be just nice, and not having any service apart from its programmatic function, but it's sometimes good not to be going full tilt in the epicness department. Likewise, the third movement is also there for the need of what William Berger called (in a different context) "the lowering of the collective blood-pressure". And yet despite what might seem from a movement titled Scene in the Countryside, this movement actually has some manic terrifying moments. Once again, if you don't like the first 3 movements, just listen to the last 2, but again, Berlioz knew what he was doing in adding these first 3 movements.

5. Like the Grosse Fuge, Schoenberg's music is also an acquired taste. I disagree with Mr. Hurwitz's opinion that "it never gets more attractive", but I also disagree with those who say that "the more attention you give to it, the more it will reward you". Circumstances vary with every single person from one millisecond to the next. I am a Schoenberg fan, but I don't persuade people to join the Schoenberg fan club (but that's because I'm not a kind of a persudaing guy). And I'm not alone in that. Alexander Goehr, who is likewise a deep Schoenberg fan, seems to agree with me on this point (that is, I agree with him):

I don't think it is likely that it is possible to convince people who find the music [of Schoenberg] extremely difficult, that hidden beneath the surface is a heart of gold, and it's really all like Puccini if you only knew how to listen to it. It isn't like that. This was a fractious and difficult personality, with a striking and fast mind, and a feeling of responsibility towards music, musicians, students, all through his life.

Once again, if you don't like it, don't listen to it, just go and leave.

6. I haven't listened to Schumann's music so I can't say whether his orchestration is bad or not. However, I can say that people don't tinker only with Schumann's dynamics, and for some reason they get criticized for that in a way which would not happen if they would do the same to Schumann. So in a sense, having a conductor tinkering with Schumann's dynamics should not be something all that special, so stop making so much of a deal out of it.

7. Likewise, I haven't listened to much Bruckner, but I would agree that if it is indeed slow, that is the way Bruckner was and we can't do anything about it. Maybe what for him was fast, is slow for Mr. Hurwitz. And not only is the perception of tempo different from one person to another, it's different within the same person from one millisecond to the next.

8. Ok, I'm barely handling myself together when I'm writing this, and things are especially confusing when Mr. Hurwitz doesn't dare detail. If you think that Liszt is only virtuoso opera transcriptions, the Transcendental Etudes and the Hungarian Rhapsodies, you are damn wrong! Just look at his symphonic poems, and the Faust and Dante Symphonies and you'll see he was much more than just a flashy romantic pyrotechnic of the piano. You still think this is kitschy and wearing on the sleeve? Ok, fine. How about the late piano pieces?! I just keep going mad when I see how many people don't know, let alone appreciate Liszt's late works (which I'm not even going to write a blog post on, because it speaks by itself. Here's a playlist.) These pieces tell you, more even than Tristan, the Ring and Parsifal, how Debussy and early Schoenberg came into being. If you're not convinced by that, I really have no other idea to dissuade you from believing that "Liszt is trash".

9. I have to say before I begin the discussion of Mr. Hurwitz's argument, that trying to figure out the meaning of Shostakovich's music is just pure mayhem, for reasons I hope I don't need to tell you. That being said, we are really actually told that the conflict between musicologists is whether he composed the Fifth Symphony in order to save his skin, or is the music braced with sarcasm. As I understand, there is no reason why the ending should be understood as "sincerely happy" when one goes deeper. Once again, what Freud says doesn't necessarily apply to every situation. So yes, I wouldn't necessarily go as far as to say that we're supposed to be thinking of misery, but we should think of hypocrisy.

10. Once again, I have barely listened to Bach cantatas, but just from looking at the titles, I'm pretty sure that not all of those cantatas are about "suffering and misery" (small unimportant sidenote: You really needed to use the same two words you just used for Shostakovich?). I don't know how much this is likely, but go figure that the hundred or so lost cantatas happen to be the best cantatas Bach ever wrote, and what we've known till now is, forgive the expression, the rotten bottom of the barrel? But trying to go around Oklahoma farms to find them is almost hopeless, for a number of reasons. Most likely, the manuscripts could have been deemed worthless, so they were used for other purposes. The farm could have been destroyed or dismantled or whatever. So maybe we're lucky that some Bach cantatas are missing, maybe not, I have no idea what to say about this.

I saved the most important issue for the end. I have no problem with all the opinions that Mr. Hurwitz has expressed - as long as he was meaning only to express his own opinion. I obviously disagree with him, but I have no serious problem with Mr. Hurwitz suggesting that Wagner's operas are better when cut, that Mozart sounds all the same, and (though with some difficulty, if only because Liszt is widely misunderstood) that Liszt is trash. The problem I have is with him saying that these are the "official dirtiest-secret facts of the classical music industry". And once again, if he's joking, he should make that clearer.

P.S. As I was writing this, I discovered that it's apparently also available online as an editorial, so if you want to make me suffer twice, you can do that.

(Originally posted: 9 August 2020)

[julianawrites]

nightmares

Tyler funnels every ounce of energy in his veins towards gazing across the tent at her.

He’d met her on one of those toxic moons, one of those deceitfully picturesque mirages where the dust glitters like lily petals but the air would kill her before her could think to appreciate it. She was a floater; a nomad with no place to call home, but she figured that she liked it that way. Homes were permanent. They set lives and futures in cobblestone and trapped spirits in gated properties, keeping just about anything and everything tethered under the farce of security. Homes make paraffin casings around dragonfly wings and turn footprints to concrete. So she never had one, and never wanted one. Tyler had found her amusing. She had found him to be better company than just herself. So with great reluctance, she established a partnership. Not one forged in steel or bronze but something still fleeting, its true meaning always escaping her lips like a forgotten thought. It’s too much work to try and think about it anyway.

She had let him invite her to reside in his tent. It took coaxing, requiring copious amounts of golden honey spilling from Tyler’s tongue to get her to tenaciously stick to him, but she was no match for his silver tongue. He did everything he could to assure that this wasn’t a habitat, but merely a shelter - a thing that could be taken down and built back up somewhere else, anywhere she wanted. So she obliged. He let her take the cot closest to the zipper door; she liked being closer to the exit, just a rotation away from being back on her feet. He tries to let her truly feel like if she wanted to escape, wanted to elope with liberty and run away from the loose bonds of the canopy, she could.

Three weeks of sleeping adjacent to him and her still doesn’t want to.

Tyler is used to temporary relationships. He had done his fair share of companion hopping, although he wasn’t really making an effort to do so. It scares him a little - why can’t he make anyone stay, make anything last? Partners passed him by, either to traverse on their lonesome or to stay with that greedy man in the sky for eternity. Teams disbanded around him like glass castles shattering in his wake. Tyler, whether he liked it or not, was accustomed to transience.

He is not, however, accustomed to fearing that sharp brevity. Tyler is constantly on his toes around her, frequently wondering if he’s pushing her away or pulling her closer. She isn’t skittish, doesn’t constantly question everything he says or get offended by the sound of his voice, but he’s still scared of losing her. Every time he looks into her eyes he sees wonder, a certain fascination with life that he tries so hard to match because he wants to find things as beautiful as she does. As beautiful as she is. He wants to mis-quote her favorite novels that she’s forced him to read so that she'll scold him so affectionately and tell him that perhaps he had garnered a little brain damage from his previous escapades. He wants to trip over tree roots that have herniated through the soil so she can laugh at him, maybe lay there on the grass with him for a little bit. Just a little bit. 

In her own mind, she is guarded. she tries her very best not to get too personal, too deep, too much. Because she doesn't like it when people can see her flushed, bloody insides. her just know that the moment her open her chest, someone will steal her heart right out of her rib cage and like the pass of a hummingbird, all of herr secrets will be free to float in the breeze like the ashes of her lost quintessence; it’ll all be gone and then he'll really be empty.  So how could she ever know what she means to Tyler?

He knows what a truly locked up person looks like. He’s spent hundreds of cycles with people that don’t make a noise. He’s sat in bustling pods of people and felt like the only man in the room, like solitary confinement for his mind. No, she’s not some warning-covered steel box, padlocked and duct-taped and glued shut so that even if he’s sitting right next to her, he’ll have nothing more than his own voice bounce off of her walls and fly right back to him. She’s a music box, a gold-trimmed heart-shaped sound bottle, and he learns that if he winds her up the right way, she'll sing so pretty for him.

He has spent so long talking, nonsensically making those arbitrary noises burst out of his throat until they lose all meaning, but finally, for the first time in so long, Tyler gets to listen.

He listens to her tell him her think his hair is stupid and that sometimes he smells bad. He listens to her lament about barren dig-sites and wasted time, about how it’s so hot in her suit. He listens to her fantasize about touching the trees, burying her face in her flowers and squeezing the moss in her hands. About drowning in the river so that her body is filled with the water and then rolling in the sand so that it all sticks to her and that she’ll have to dive back in to clean off. About feeling something.

Sometimes, Tyler just wants to hear something other than his own voice. And she’s the cold towel to his inflamed skin, refreshing and addictive. She’s much braver than she thinks, so much stronger than she gives herself credit for, because for once, Tyler can talk into the forest and know that there’s someone to listen besides the leaves. He doesn’t feel alone.

Every night, when the moon has turned its back on the narcissistic Sun and opened its arms to the thousands of other stars, each just a prick of light but understanding of their place in the tapestry of the darkness, the two of them retire to that tent. Both redressing into comfortable clothes, backs turned on each other under the guise of respect, and climb into their respective cots. Tyler would turn off that lantern that illuminated the enclosure, and her shadows would dissipate into the darkness.

Except Tyler’s shadows don’t disappear; they hide. They blend into the black and mold into one man-engulfing untamable beast to possess Tyler’s throat. And they manifest again in his mind. They poison that movie that plays once her slip consciousness, instills fear into his bone marrow until he doesn't feel safe in his own body, his own thoughts. 

These slumber illusions haunt Tyler. His right arm waves at him in his sleep, the souls to which he was the conduit bridging life and death haunt his diaphragm with toothy grins to mock him, screeching into his cavities. They remind him that he was never really alone because he has the suffocating embrace of those spirits that are sewn so tight to his eyelids. Every night he somehow manages to pull himself from the darkness only for his own demons to pull him back by the throat. He is always oscillating between consciousness and unconsciousness, being tossed around like a helpless rag with no hope of liberation. Nothing scares him more than his own thoughts.

And she knows. She knows all of it. How could she not? She was born a tumbleweed, wandering across desolation, so of course she's a light sleeper. And she can hear Tyler’s choked cries, his tossing and turning as he drains himself of any sense of safety. But this man is a stranger to her. He is just a person she resides with, talks to all the time, nudges gently and teases and smiles with. He is just the person whose attention she always craves. A stranger.

So every night she turns her body to face the zipper of the tent and pretends that she can’t hear him cry. Pretend that she doesn't sometimes cry with him. A pretty lavender lie that smells sweet, tastes sweeter.

She, in her cowardice, lets him destroy himself. Watch as the bags under his eyes get bigger and greyer and the strings holding his shoulders up lose their tension.

Tyler, in his flawed cratered embodiment, is only human. And he had gone so long without holding anyone, without being held. He knows what he wants, knows who he wants. But he also knows how jittery she is, how fluttery her heart is, and he doesn’t want to approach it too fast lest he startle her and she flies off into the stars. But he can’t keep doing this, can’t live with himself when he knows he’s not the one in control but those horned, slimy creatures that claw at his maxilla with their venomous grins.

The lights are out in the tent per usual, so Tyler can’t really see her. Reality is a concept with which he is no longer familiar.

Laying in her cot, she decides that she just can’t take it anymore. she can’t stand to let an intruder of her life break her down the way he does without even trying. How dare he look into her, how dare he listen to her without passing judgement, how dare he make her feel like a flower in bloom.

Tyler hears her breaths - they’re uneven. She hasn't gone to sleep. What is she waiting for?

“Tyler?” she practically squeaks into the void. His ears perk up immediately; her cotton candy voice is enticing to him, flossing its way through his veins.

“What are you doing up, birdie?” Tyler asks softly, the air of his lungs floating over his words. He doesn’t mean to keep her awake, but he isn’t mad about it either. It’s stimulating his nerves enough to keep himself awake, and that’s something he probably won’t ever be able to repay her for.

“I-um....”  She hadn’t expected to get this far. What would she say to him? How could she tell him that she wanted to grovel in his shards by his side and try to help him fit the pieces back together again? “I can’t sleep.”

Not a lie. Tyler knows she means it. He just doesn’t know why.

“Well that won’t suffice,” he decides, outstretching his left arm blindly off the edge of his cot until his fingers brush against what he’s looking for: that lantern. With a little more fumbling, a weak but good enough orange glow is emitted on the floor between the two of them. They both catch each other’s pitiful gaze. They want to take care of each other, want to shield each other from the red sprites that nip angrily at each other's hearts. Tyler holds his left arm out to her, tentatively. He’s never been more unsure in his life. He watches her glance at his arm, and then quickly to the side. She’s trying to decide if she’ll let him add another tether to her. If she’ll let him become something sewed so tight to her bleeding skin that to leave would rip her apart.

She takes his hand.

[geekwiththegoggles]

Hey,

As we get closer to the Spoopy Season™, and haunted attractions start being a thing,

just wanna send some good vibes out early and say, please,

Don't be a dick to scare actors,

Don't be a dick to scare actors,

Deffo don't be a dickish scare actor, but mainly ...

DON'T BE A DICK TO SCARE ACTORS

More constructively, if you are going to visit a haunt this year, hey, have fun! It's a great way to get your thrills in. Blacklights! Torches! Soundtracks in minor keys! The fear of the unknown in bite sized encounters! Brushes with darkness only to come out the other side smelling like fog juice! Instant new friends with a random group of strangers because your friends abandoned you while running away! Fake guts are a hoot! Clowns...? Erm, yeah no. Still no to clowns...

But it's also a place where you're gonna encounter a lot of uncomfortable stuff, too: tight spaces, dimly lit/totally blacked out rooms, flashing lights, the sensation of being in situations where you don't have the ability to be in control, jump scares, bangs and knocks, unpleasant sights and noises, and of course... clowns. I think you get my point here. Now, a lot of people hate being called out or caught off-guard in front of strangers, let alone their buds. Can't be cool if you're jumping eighteen inches off the ground grabbing your crotch and screaming at top volume (not judging but also... well, dudes, you've been warned. This is a common occurrence).

I get it! But that's also what you kinda paid for, in a way. To be caught off guard. To feel, for the briefest moment, vunerable and scared. To enter a place that oozes smoke and resonates with screams and find yourself amongst the decay and delight in it because hey, cursed mirrors and undead fiends aren't real! It's fake! And we all know it's fake! That lady with the missing eye is fake! That dude with the demon horns is fake! That janky and 'cursed' animatronic is fake!

Now, your Insta account might blow up because, herr derr, you ripped the juke off of your third attraction that night to reveal the lightboard switch or a random dude waiting to pop out because, hey, ha ha, it's fake! But hey, do you also know what happens when you do that?

You become That Dick™ because now only you are laughing.

You become that person that needs to be monitored by security and someone's manager because you don't know how to get over yourself and have fun.

Live a little!

Get spooked!

Be scared!

Laugh afterwards at yourself! It's okay! Guess who, thirty seconds prior to popping out of the dark corridor, got spooked by their own reflection because they misjudged how close to the mirror they were! That's right! Probably the scare actor!

Listen, easiest way to know you're not getting touched or separated forcibly from your group is this: did you sign a consent form saying the spooks can touch you? No? Cool, the least they're probably gonna do is tap your shoulder. They have rules, my dudes, to protect them from you! Yeah that's right, because in here, YOU are the unknown. YOU hold the power. YOU are the reason a scare actor is scary by either running away or screaming or standing there with your phone out asking about their Fortnite handle or some shit. And... flossing. Or whatever this is...

But I am mondo serious. This is a judgement-free, genuinely concerned for your well-being statement. You think you can't handle the scenario because hey, zombie-virus apacolypses conceptually bum you out? Flashing lights and sudden noises ain't your thang? Clowns?

And YOU also bring in the dangerous element of kicking and punching and and possibly shoving someone's face into a tray full of vomit and condiments (I am ABSOLUTELY judging here, y'all, you sick fucks out there are just mean). Crowds of civilians are far more frightening than crowds of scare actors. Know why? A scare actor has a set of parameters to work in: Zombie, Demon, Clown, Ghost. We all know and accept what those roles entail. Know what role the patron has? Self-aware target. And when you take yourself too seriously? Entitled person who thinks they have, because "they pay for them to have a job", a captive audience. Gag. They're the biggest monster. They're the ones who kick and tug and touch and throw and wreck shop because... they're bored? Okay, sure.

Right. This has gone a bit too barbed and a bit too long...

I feel you. Take it from the BIGGEST mark. I get tachycardia from just thinking about telling someone they dropped five bucks. But take it also from someone who has been a fairly successful spook. It's an agreement that we're both entering here: you suspend your belief, and in return, I respect your boundaries. Granted, there will always be outliers and jerks. I'm not speaking for them. I'm asking on behalf of the folks who like to have a little fun and get a little scared, and with an unspoken wink and nod, share that moment with you.

TL;DR: If you can't take the scare, please, stay out of the haunt.

Okay, keep it weird, and thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[ko-fanatic]

Life is a Cabaret: Welcome to Berlin (Part one)

Rating: Mature (for series as a whole)

Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of smoking

Summary: "There was a cabaret, and there was a master of ceremonies, and there was a city called Berlin in a country called Germany… and it was the end of the world. I was dancing with Kyoya Ootori, and we were both fast asleep…" - Kaoru Kelly-Hitachiin, 1931

A warning for those who aren't familiar with Cabaret: While this all starts out light-hearted, it involves some serious and disturbing topics later on. Warnings for: Nazism, racism, homophobia, antisemitism, violence, sexual harassment and other such issues. 

Kaoru crossed his legs at the ankle, changing his position for what had to be the fourth time in just as many minutes, his backside numb and pins and needles licking at his feet. The train from Paris to Berlin wasn’t the longest journey he’d been on, by far, but he couldn’t say he was a great traveller.

He should have purchased a novel other than the one currently residing in his suitcase which, despite it being by his feet and not put away above his head, he couldn’t be bothered to retrieve. Some political tripe that he thought he should familiarise himself with. Instead, he simply watched the grey smoke roll passed the window, listening to the sound of the train’s motion, and decided that it was – all things considered – a nice way to travel.

He wouldn’t make an afternoon of it, however; his derriere wouldn’t forgive him. He was just content to sit in his little compartment, partaking in some rather nice peace and quiet, gazing out of the window as green landscapes rolled by. Berlin might just give him the inspiration he’s been searching for; the city laying before him, ready to be made his muse. One successful (sort of) novel under his belt, and he should publish another before the promise the publishers talked of burned out. Not so much a supernova as a glowing cinder from the fireplace extinguishing itself on the stone hearth.

Still, Berlin was not only home to art, culture, history and excitement, but his dear twin brother. Hikaru had, of course, been rather insistent – it was like he never left, really. Seeing his brother’s excitedly scrawled handwriting proclaim the Berlin was a must, and that he’d certainly be able to take off the proverbial corset and relax for a while in one of the many famous cabaret clubs. Handsome men and beautiful girls wearing skimpy, lacy outfits and dancing provocatively. He was about as interested as any man would be; which was to say, very. It’d certainly be an interesting backdrop for the new novel, anyhow.

His introspection was interrupted by a knock on the sliding door to his compartment, a man with a somewhat unfortunate face standing there, a suitcase in each hand. His long, straight nose was slightly hooked, and he could only picture the villain of a talkie he’d seen back when he was in Ireland. It was a tad unfair, of course; especially because he hadn’t even given the man a chance to say anything.

“Belegt? Occupied?” The man asked, gesturing about the small compartment, and Kaoru shook his head in reply, only for the man to ask again, in English, “Is it permitted?”

“Yes, yes, by all means,” Kaoru confirmed, the man stepping in and sitting in the seat opposite, giving him a small smile that only served to make his expression more pinched. He set his two suitcases on the floor also, sighing heavily as he reclined against the backrest.

“Japanese?” The other man inquired, far more politely than some.

“I might as well wear a sign,” Kaoru chuckled, running a hand through his hair, “One part Jap and the other Gaelic. All I have to show for the other half is red hair and burning to a crisp in sunlight though, I don’t even hold my liquor well.”

The nameless man laughed, slightly too high and a little too sudden, but it broke the tension all the same. After all, having a sour face was not necessarily an implication of a sour personality. “German and Japanese, not that I have ever been outside of Europe. I take up residence in Berlin,” He introduced, holding out his hand for Kaoru to shake, “Takashi Ludwig Kuze.”

“Kaoru Kelly-Hitachiin, no permanent residence,” He responded in kind, firmly grasping Herr Kuze’s hand. Just as he did so, however, he heard the tell-tale release of stream, the train’s wheels grating on the tracks as the brakes were applied, the engine slowing to an eventual crawl. Just to make sure, he decided to inquire to his new, probably more informed companion, “Are we slowing down for the German border?”

Herr Kuze hummed, turning to look out of the window. He was apparently familiar with the scenery, as he soon confirmed the assumption.

“So, I assume you’ve made this trip before, then?” Kaoru supplied, trying to keep up the small talk before the conversation died and the compartment filled with stagnant awkwardness. Having not even fully entered Germany yet, it would be a nightmare to ride in cloying silence for the rest of the trip.

“Many times,” Herr Kuze nodded, reclining back in the seat once more, settling down as they awaited the conductor and the accompanying checks. Honestly, that was another thing Kaoru disliked about travelling, having to dig out his passport before he crossed any border; it always seemed to fall right to the bottom of his satchel. However, the man opposite cut through his mental rant before it gathered an unhealthy amount of steam, “You are a tourist?”

“Uh… Not quite. Well, that’s not the full picture,” He dithered, unsure if this counted as oversharing with a stranger, “I’m a writer, and I give Japanese lessons. I just needed a little more inspiration for my next novel… Something I’m rather lacking, apparently. Care for a cigarette?”

Herr Kuze didn’t seem all that interested, most of his focus directed at the view out of the window. It was rather beautiful, Kaoru had to admit, but green fields had also been a staple scenery in Ireland, it wasn’t all that dissimilar. Not to mention that the other man had made the trip many times, so surely the intensity at which he was taking in the view was a tad unwarranted? Still, he could’ve taken the trip that many times because he was fond of it, he supposed, and so he spoke up once more.

“Herr Kuze?” He was at least acknowledged this time, snapping the other man out of the thoughts he’d obviously been invested in, Herr Kuze turning to face him again. A hum, and Kaoru continued, holding the case up to him, “Would you like a cigarette?”

“Oh, no thank you,” Herr Kuze waved away. Kaoru just nodded, returning the cigarillo box to his breast pocket, the compartment falling silent once more. It was that odd space that felt vacant of words, unsure of what to say to a stranger; a touch of anxiety and awkwardness. God knew that people didn’t like to be bothered while on the train, or so he’d learned during his time in London. Just keep your head down and carry on.

He didn’t have to endure the silence much longer, however, control officer making his rounds and performing his tasks. He could hear the strong, harsh syllables of German a little further down the carriage, and he once more attempted to dig out his damn passport. At least Herr Kuze was prepared, it seemed, already having it in-hand. Perhaps it was one of the skills that came with constant travel; being able to locate your paperwork easily.

“Deutsche Grenzkontrolle,” Came a voice from the doorway, the control officer standing by the door to the compartment. Luckily, his passport finally came to hand, and he passed it to the officer. The booklet was flicked through quickly, the basics of his information scan-read, and he was handed it back with no fuss, “Welcome to Germany, Herr Kelly.”

He bit back the urge to correct the man as the customs mark was put on his bags without even opening and inspecting them. He knew the second half of his name stumped some people, and the man’s pleasantries were sincere. There was no point being anal about it.

Despite how lax his own checks had been, it seemed as though Herr Kuze didn’t have that luxury. While his German wasn’t terrible, the phrases spoken between his new acquaintance and the officer were too quick for him to truly understand. Lots of questions, a bag being searched, but he noticed that another bag had suspiciously joined his own. As the officer didn’t see it, they were both left alone once more in the compartment when the officer believed his work was done.

“I wish you’ll enjoy your stay in Germany,” The officer bid Kaoru with a curt nod, “And a most happy new year.”

The door to the compartment was closed, Herr Kuze retrieving his undeclared bag once more, and Kaoru’s curiosity was piqued. After all, Herr Kuze gave off an air of one with a straight-laced, law-abiding attitude – not to mention that, despite the unfortunate face and touch of social awkwardness, he seemed like a nice gentleman.

It didn’t help that the Hitachiin sense of curiosity and general nosiness was rather hard to ignore. While he was the most well-behaved between Hikaru and their mother, it was still a defining trait that tended to cloud his judgement and make him feel somewhat entitled to know what wasn’t his business.

“What’s in the bag?” He inquired, Herr Kuze looking a little unsure at that, almost nervous.

“Oh, err, just some trinkets from Paris, really,” He answered, “Perfume, silk stockings. Gifts for friends, but more than what is really permitted. You understand?”

He did. He’d also brought some things for Hikaru, although his budget didn’t really allow for anything too fancy. Some shortbread from Scotland, some sketches of the landscapes he’d seen, nothing costly. He’d be more than happy to see his brother again, anyway; even if he was the one with more expensive taste. It’d been a fairly long time, after all…

“Well, I guess I’ve done some smuggling myself, then,” He chuckled, happy to see that Herr Kuze had perked up at that.

“You are most understanding, thank you very much,” He enthused, a teeth-bearing smile on his lips that really didn’t help the sinister, rat-like look he had, even if the thought was impolite and unfair, “I would like to make sure that your stay is an enjoyable one, that Berlin will be a home-from-home. We’ll even start tonight; a friend of mine works in one of the hottest clubs in Berlin. Japanese theme, phones on tables, girls call you, boys call you and – instant connection. The best dancers, too; my friend was even famous in England for a while –”

“That’s very kind of you,” He interrupted. It seemed once Herr Kuze began to speak, he had an issue stopping. One thing did catch his attention, however; boys call you. He had no issue with homosexuality, obviously, but it sounded far too… open. Especially for what he was used to. But maybe Berlin was different? “I don’t have fixed accommodation yet. I’m hoping to share with my brother, but I’m not sure if he has the space necessary…”

“Well, you see, I can remedy that also. Herr Morinozuka has the finest residence in Berlin, and inexpensive also. Just tell him I sent you, and he’ll be most amenable,” Kuze insisted, scrawling a name and address on the back of a business card before handing it to him. Takashi Morinozuka, huh? “After all, people can be oddly picky over residents. I’m sure you understand my meaning…”

He did. His Japanese heritage would probably be the most hindrance, but the Irish in him wasn’t particularly helpful, either. Hunting for a room would have to take these into account, and if Morinozuka’s rooms were in his budget, then it would be easier.

“Thank you very much, Herr Kuze,” He smiled, holding out his hand for the other to shake, “I’ll certainly have to visit the club you mentioned, also.”

“No need to thank me. New country, and you already have a fine place to live, your first friend, and perhaps even your first Japanese student,” Kuze enthused, shaking his hand, “Welcome to Berlin, my friend.”

Yes. Welcome to Berlin, indeed.

[the-firebird69]

Poor I yelled

Zues

They said yeh but meant uh oh, crapped thought I wonder what's inside. Plush rooms and free food. He yelled I his head shut up we say nah your gonna go for a ride we held it too he gmfell hard acted the ass the whole time.

So we did that pay dirt I don't wanna be annoying I can't help it... Kept saying it so we did that to him over and over had him watch his areas empty. Kept whining and whining. Then we said this you know your going to die cuz your whining he refused to stop. We thought it odd woke him up released him he walked around saying someone did a number on me went to his houses found nobody but blood is on the run.

Ran to herre was turned around by cops we said your whining again. You saw what you did. Then he cries you ppl are for real.

What we hear is if we are going to do this we are going to be annoying.

So he goes around saying he's a loser ppl ignore him. He parties and more. We let him.

He fell asleep woke in the dark we hooked him in. No knowledge of it. We saw him try to mess w you.

We used him up too marched him all over heard his thoughts gotta get this tech. He fell asleep awoke furious in the dark we showed him our facility bustling with life huge machines ppl are worked on with outfitted and March around after exposing our stuff. No only thiers.

Then he fell asleep woke up as Harrison Ford in Quinton tarontinos film the jerk.

We got all that. See see trump says

See out your window see see. Loser and fat slob, I mean your a joke...

What Trump and you do demand you don't know, consternates your whole system, f ups really miscreant low life losers who porked thier own, kikes if you will... Jumped into the fire.

We saw Ford die looking right at his first motor car. Stated at it. It meant something but what you were in it didn't know sat in yiur oldest furniture we took didn't know yelled up a storm died as a result, didn't know, it struck him, be quiet we hunt you mankind flesh. He said it again we don't care shut him off. He whispers this. If you ever do it again I'll kill you all.... Says he'll have him do it he says I out you there you oaf. He laughs funny guy no really we were silent.

We toyed w him and said what do want for your bitch act we aren't your servants or employees we are a lethal enemy.

He smiles in his brain thinks I got them we showed what he was and where, a connected brain.

He screams inside. Flops around in his mind.

Then we asked again well we aren't him it's well over the top As you say

He carresses himself. We say nah, he says we are just bitchy ok

Then he says this the kid runs it he hated it made errors we saw in judgement and decisions. And he refuted it heard you I'm a prisoner here... Laughs got it backwards.

He says it's much worse than that,

He says we'll it's like this he can't beat us and is. Then we showed him why then the answer comes out no need to stop we lost

Cork does that

Bg ruined it.

Yimmer Yammer to hit you very simple pre empting a military technique

He fell for it tell the kids he's dead. Woke up crying I need rest and food. He ate one. We barfed we tell them. He was eaten alive.

We figured out he wants the reaction, and we found it. Stone cold fear.... And knowledge on how to act. He did the act almost perfectly, they smelled his breath you forgot, one thing, they started in on him.

Then Thor said you should listen to what we tell you, so we did heard tons of threats. How does it feel being surrounded by your kind sentanced to death... As they are animals and can't think straight.

He barfs come on expect me to tell yiu

He does says it with his eyes like Mike does every single morning.

He failed. Does due to it. Our system is not a system his is superior but would he know...

Truth is I want you to see it

You think he screams like a baby in horror not terror

That's true. He doesn't like it. Cries and begs for mercy lk an animal. Pisses and knows.

We woke him asked him how was it saved your brain again. He choked they hated me had no chance thought it was over felt aweful.

Then he thinks this awefully rude what your doing but he deserves it. And... Oh my God I died and on and on. We place him back brain in.

He decifers it he says can tell. Same scenario, beat up he saw brains oh no his fell dead. Hid. As he did last time tried dying no.

They pushed tugged pulled nothing let him lie there he grabbed a rock said it low you stay away from. Me. Snarked they hooted he knows it's bad tried to hit one more hooting. Ran round and round hooting, then they caught him covered his mouth said no more smashed his head, he died thinking if only we were more cautious,

He meant played it right. It fails he thought better dead then. We revived him. Re assembled his brain for the Intel.

We heard him think, how do I get out of it

And this is it pissed crapped. Tons of stuff they made you do.

And we found a sport dirt bikes

He was thinking the whole time we aren't primates someone says it who

Then him so he threatens you. We juiced jhim

He let go again juiced let's go for hours then he died

Only one thing shuts them up

What does he think if his own kinds treatment, it sucks they hate each other

Same thing we found, easy to kill w his gmformula. He saw it before. Learning how greedy you were

It's easier

Thor

[eterneli]

gimme all the texts mister spaghetti

TEXT MEME. | Accepting. (x)

“✆” for a morning text.

( sms – jack frost ) It’s 6am. The sun is up.( sms – jack frost ) Wake the fuck up.( sms – jack frost ) Time to get up and melt, Kaicicle ( :

“✉” for a text that wasn’t sent.

( sms – jack frost ) You’re probably the closest thing to a friend in my life right now.( sms – jack frost ) But I can never let you in. I’m sorry.

“☎” for a rushed text.

( sms –jack frost ) Can’t talk.( sms – jack frost ) Got a meeting. K.

“⁇” for a drunk text.

( sms – jack frost ) kaiiiicecream kaiciiiicle( sms – jack frost ) wai t alsoo kaice nd jongince( sms – jack frost ) get yo asss to th barr( sms – jack frost ) im waintig herre

“✿” for a suggestive text.

( sms – jack frost ) I get why people are so attracted to you.( sms – jack frost ) All that confidence and sweet talk, and the good looks.( sms – jack frost ) Never worked on me tho.

“ø” for a late night text.

( sms – jack frost ) Wanna break into SNU’s library?( sms – jack frost ) I heard they have violent ghosts there.( sms – jack frost ) And creepy possessed students.

“✘” for a hateful text.

( sms – jack frost ) Saw a piece of shit on the ground today.( sms – jack frost ) It reminded me of you.

“#” for a random text.

( sms – jack frost ) Did you know that in Welsh folklore, corgis were the preferred method of transportation for fairies?(sms – jack frost ) Yes, faeries rode corgis. Magic. BAM.

“@” for a scared text.

( sms – jack frost ) It’s all slipping through my fingers again.( sms – jack frost ) This fucking weight is crushing me all over again and I can hear the screams haunt me because they will come soon.

“&” for a loving text.

( sms – jack frost ) Don’t melt today.( sms – jack frost ) I only got you as an adventure buddy. Stay fucking alive or I’ll murder you myself.

“%” for a curious text.

( sms – jack frost ) What does it take to actually melt you?( sms – jack frost ) Fire, obviously. But at what intensity?( sms – jack frost ) This is strictly for government and scientific purposes btw. You need to cooperate, just saying.

“ツ” for an excited text.

(sms – jack frost ) Yiruma is back from his tour for a few days.(sms – jack frost ) I’m gonna be busy.( sms – jack frost ) Don’t bother me until I’m available again.

“$” for an accidental text.

( sms – jack frost ) Yes, president.(sms – jack frost ) I will see you then.( sms – jack frost ) Please have a good night and go home safely.

Twenty minutes later:

(sms – jack frost ) God fucking dammit. Why does this keep happening–just ignore this, Kai. It wasn’t meant for you.

“♀” for a heartbreaking text.

( sms – jack frost ) There’s a villain in every story. The wicked witch of the west/east, the evil stepmother, the monster, the beast. What does a villain look like? Well, it doesn’t always have a black cape, or a witch’s broom, or a big scary mask.( sms – jack frost ) I have a villain of my own, but it is kind of hard to see. It has a really good disguise–it looks a lot like me. Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? Or maybe it’s monster monster inside of me, tell me tell me what you see. Rip me apart, tear me to shreds, make me a prisoner inside my own head. Tell me what I am and tell me what I’m not. Tell me what I need and tell me what I got. It brings out my scars, my sadness, fear and aggression. It causes me a lot of envy and leaves me with … aching. Deprives me of my confidence, takes away my self esteem. It causes me to fear judgement and makes me yell and scream. This villain taunts me with words like this is some kind of game. But when it comes down to it there’s no one else to blame.( sms – jack frost ) This villain isn’t a creature or a devil sent from hell, it isn’t a witch or demon. The villain is myself. I try to fight it but it won’t stop. It’s never going to cease. It’s mean and a liar. I’m the beauty and the beast. There’s a villain in every story, a statement that is true. But how do you kill the monster when it lives inside of you?

[dwdelaney-blog]

aug2018

8/6

from what I understand one of the reasons this has been going on for as long as it has is because of the "po"

they are among the defs. in spi and in other places they were involved in the pain and sleep deprivation as a form of entertainment. if what people are saying is true, that the defs lost all their appeals, the police are still involved in propping up the defs and failing to enforce the law as determined by the court.

the po has said that they simply disagree w/ the court on the issue of my situation and instead will follow the guidance of bob gray and his political coalition within the rnc

the po was busted hard as they communicated with each other in order to position squad cars upwind of me. those communications where recorded and used as evidence and it was one of the reasons that the legal judgement was as high as it was

because pol power was used to distort the law enforcement profession. the judgment was intended to serve as deterrent from such behavior in the future. instead, what has happened is a real lesson in political power. for everyone involved. I can't make this shit up. people are saying this stuff is true. it is hard for me to believe, and others can't say anything about and like it or not, that leaves it up to me to say it. I am trying to get these people to stop.

gnutek was right and pols - scso - spd - ing - celletti - Cletus

and note the cmdr - smith - team mack - swimmers - mp - ing - badgers - keen - knights - roth - xa ron stone - pb - xa complaint w/ spd ia - ron stone - jeffe ron - ronsumate - mcds - chigop - civilaffers - xa ron stone - burson - pr - paulino - garbage trucks - mace - chainey - wolfman - d/d - xa lon - chemlawn - zito - pesticides - insecticides - xa security - ierc - police - cwlp - Wackenhut - Carlucci - securitas - guards - courthouse - county jail - I have had a lot of problems w/ police in different cities - much of that is in the form of swatting - and getting tickets for public defecation when forced to do so, by the po - or someone they know about - ierc - perc - guards - cra - the po knows what's going on w/ me - they are involved - they could stop if they wanted

8/7 notepad

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uPJjmwGuvV5IIi290rhAtZ4-v82hdvEF/view?usp=sharing

8/8 notepad

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N_RfH7htdSS-8ctE8MtoDFGtY6rPuzbp/view?usp=sharing

8/10

aux police - like deps in tx - xa mp ing - and guards - xa vala guards and dpr violation - see esp stl roth recruits - and hou civaff - pbpa fundraiser - ron stone - keen - ing - liuna - schaive - knights - and see cwlp guard - fuiten - robinson - ny work stoppage - tusk - bad cop - tlc - care/of - lemonade - they made me put "nix" in my hair to get rid of the lice - that's why they said they would have to keep me in a cell by myself - xa team mack - stevie nix - xa acme - roadrunners - lincoln - 33rd - ala - wharton - trump - penn - susan - tricksters - genetic sample - fla - orlando - ackermann - terry nelson and duane gibson - chigop - kjell bc04 - xa spfld consulting - hoffstetler - sjh gift store - xa shg links - madonia - shs senators - centaurs - thompson and rnc - agriculture - xa orlando saathoff - iaff - tweet - osfm heminghous - arson frame - osfm is next to hodge dwyer in spfld - xa adolph - ak - hanson - palin - spi hockey blues - hockey players involved in spi chem - and see ipi and "tile" man - ipi is tobacco and liquor lobby in spfld - xa koch bros - whigs - pii - ets. peeps - humint - ic - chamber ic - ibt in ic - hair loss in ftl - when i worked at the theater and lived near bayshore 1999? - sometime before i stayed there in 2001-2002 - my hair started coming out in clumps - I had a bad cough - stayed next to a place called principles - carlyle - sembler seed - alco frame - don't know what to think about tusk - he was depty gov - he was comm dir for schumer and schumer is durbin roomate - start ups seem to point to the idea that he is "in on the fun" - "lemonade" is a simpson's reference for example - or is that just my imagination - i don't think it is - I can't tell if it true that this whole thing could stop if the police would enforce the law as determined by the court - if their was a case - and i "won" - is it true that the police could stop this thing - they know what's going on - they are involved - is that who is keeping me living like this - is their a conflict b/t the po and city - the mayor - on how to enforce the caselaw - the decision of the court as regards my situation specifically - if the po won't enforce the law - how does this end

8/11

mute watchdog - tx - midland - oipr - wal - gwb - tx Galveston - Sylvester - kbh - ed smith - spi - liuna - schaive - industrial chemical - Grandview - carlock - rosemary long - longies - ports - hou - civaff - deps - cleat - johnny ford - wal in tx - mgrs. - Annette - dow chem - hanson - rentacenter job - xa terry nelson - duane Gibson - Ackermann - fla - brooks bros - swift & blessing - ilgop - chigop - bc04 - kjell - tennis - us open is in town - old neighbor claims link to consent - or someone else claims consent and uses link to old neighbor as excuse - xa wal and yrs schweska - and nature of claim against wal as nationwide - fed claim is another reason legal judgment was so high - the chem by wal emps crosses state lines and shows coordination and communication - and knowledge by upper mgmt. - not store by store - not also communication re materials and methods - xa tx Comcast - Carlisle - Dutton bonilla - capranica in spi - kc's - cable trucks - tx was where they ran a homicidal threats frame - claimed I threatened to kill gov perry and gwb - mobilizes opposition from deps - partisans - usss - po etc - xa wal and badgers - nsa - arc - cra - sierra - kyotes - dingoes - ky - aqui - here - night mgr - john Coltrane - indigo - mood indigo - moo wal - moo ufcw - jail time - mustache - gentlemen - ipi - gentlemen - moo cows - res - beef - moos - museum - where's the beef - roadrunners - teamac - wiley - principal - wild cats - feral - hefferon

8/12

Board games -

JALE

Lincoln extensions – usis – ala – 33rd – 233 – keen – Gillette – airport fd – gleason – heminghous –

Professional courtesy guy – Gillette – sd Wilkinson – calloway – liuna schaive – liuna ed smith – industrial chem – rosemary long – Thompson – mp – night mgr – Thompson bldg. chi – att corp symbol – lucas museum –

Cards – gwb – bunn – busch – auger – mi 10th – gomer pyle – comida – funny – fud – glu – swimmers – comed – comida/comedy – civaff – college of cardinals – aprop chairs – ldrshp – rnc – neighbors – op – heffe ron – happy daze – pr – civaff – h/k – tusk is pr – regulatory issues – "compliance" – dude's a fixer – and trades on clout – like papi -  

Indulgence -

notepad 8/13

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JQxIIEJ9u03PLH4NN58scrlsg3ajsn8c/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o2E4DAK6fGIXE3i-p6ADVmMipxSERIYt/view?usp=sharing

8/14

Marty - krewes - fool - krekels Roa - centcom - aor - motley Tribeca

Moo - fascism -schismatic bishops - bennes

Centcom - lincoln - 33rd - ala - mitrovich - roadrunners - windows - sere - preston - suri - expo - spfld consulting - lincoln cab - amb - sjh guards - vaq 209 -

Al - shoes - new salem - spfld armory - guards - santanna - fibro - sleep deprivation - henkel - van meter mmc - sium - dod funding - pesticides insecticides - op -illinois evening republican club - a. Lincoln - vols at alplm involved in chem - Big russ - fudd - sfd - xa malta - pringle - moo - sere

notepad 8/15

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xEub4NnYu7eCa4O-5Y2FtiwKrcT9O2Ia/view?usp=sharing

8/19

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GPORGuK8llTiRot7lxq7eeNGklpyZPYp/view?usp=sharing

aug2018

aug201https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nck06CXQbpqrRoODqBv48l53jpy9LK-y/view?usp=sharing

8/13

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-VeBSFfHH874H-fhq80eNMWGMSIEV1zy/view?usp=sharing

8/24

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1J7aI7YUnzursqyQmdPvuUE2T3JzBN9gR/view?usp=sharing

8/25

James elmer mitchell

I can't make this shit up

Researched pompeo yesterday

8/26

Elmer

Spk was bad - the place on boone - they filmed the whole thing - the rotc at the gym - the psych dept at gu - the russians that would follow me to different places on campus - it made me dizzy xa drug frame and red eyes - adolph and spi link - cwlpdir - and skylstadt and usccb - haspel is wildcat - wild wild thoughts - louisville - she was chosen to send a message like pompeo - some guy about a foot taller than me and about 100 lbs heavier walked up to me while in spk - never seen him before - punches me twice in the nose as hard as he can - breaks my nose - walks up to me out of nowhere - then a car pulls up a door opens and he gets in - this was the olfactory aspect of the fibro - note also sleep deprivation - henkel is an expert in the rel b/t sleep and pain and fibro - colorless odorless gas - op etc - that causes pain and doesn’t leave marks and the hypersensitivity means that the level of toxicity can be very low - publicly available insecticides and pesticides

Paprocki and ipi

8/29

Herr - glu - wharton - ad - race - roadrunners - chigop - hic - john coltrane - mood indigo - kurtz - pace - rabbit - xa rance - gop - ing 404th celletti - lincoln cab - train horn - toots - gu tony - pence - ghs football field - hair - airport landmark - ima nam -

8/30

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kOdHLEg0ITCEKByP6UgiWkhP8crTqSzgrPLZESlzwmA/edit?usp=sharing

9/2

They are doing defecation stim in public places - like that emoji movieVan meter and scb - peroni - sports talk radio - xa espn getup - toupe whigs - they wanted ab for the joker movie - cletus - cat - ima nam - club - mace palino - peple are saying the defs lost in court - they want to try the case in public -

[dwdelaney-blog]

feb2019!

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1mPZV8dfL391iwu-L0qW9VJcPHJ9rPz8I

https://fox2now.com/2019/01/27/pritzker-appoints-new-head-of-illinois-air-national-guard/amp/

Pritzker appoints new head of Illinois Air National Guard

BELLEVILLE, Ill. – A U.S. Air Force colonel based at Scott Air Force Base is being promoted to general and will head the Illinois Air National Guard.

The (Belleville) News-Democrat reports that Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker appointed Col. Peter Nezamis to the post. He’s replacing retiring Maj. General Ronald Paul and will serve as the acting adjutant general before being promoted to brigadier general.

Nezamis commanded the Air National Guard’s 126th Air Refueling Wing based at Scott for 12 years before being named as the Illinois National Guard Chief of the Joint Staff in March.

In his new position, Nezamis will oversee about 3,000 people at the refueling wing at Scott, the 182nd Airlift Wing in Peoria and the 183rd Air Wing at Camp Lincoln in Springfield

1/29

Ierc - names

From dwdelaneyierc - see esp

Special projects - mary cowles

Asst secty - jannell courtright

Photos – chuck courtwright, dean Williams

- -

Home

Sitemap

Home

IERC – 97

Prez – Claudio pecori

Vp – jane van hoos

Admin coord – mark seger

Admin asst – jim boyle

Mbrshp coord – Debbie cimarossa

Asst mbrshp chair – dan bollman

Secty – john riech

Asst secty – jannell courtwright

Trsr – mark bartolozzi

Asst trsr – matt gairani

Sgt at arms – randy Ferreira

Asst sgts at arms: larry Andrews, paul ray, bob claton, roger strothman

Scrp chair – irv smith

County liaison – ruth payson

Board mbrs: Jeanie blackman, dick bond, “doc” bredemeyer,tom Cavanagh, nick ciaccio, pete cimarossa, tony libri, jim lobmaster, carl oblinger, bruce stom

Special projects coord – mary cowles

Special projects assts: paula allmon, bob ankenbrandt, brian brewer, geo christofilakis, bill cowls, Juanita donley, mark Dudley, troy gullo, paul harris, Cynthia hopper, ed Jackson, gary krebs, bob klosky, Charlie palazzolo, joe randall, bob radmacher, terry sanderfield, danny scarlett, dawn seger, bob sellinger, andy shandor, Robbie strayer

Club liaison – ramon menendez

Distribution – don and dewana adamski

Editors – bob shurig, matt penning

Photos – chuck courtwright, dean Williams

83 - 2001

claudio pecori was prez of ierc

2/1

33rd - horse people - roth - recruiters - stl - deps - under the radar - cle - d&d - penny marshall - ing - lol - laffers - carmine ragusa - 404 chem - iaff - 37 burton - klutzo - licensed killer - dead bug dale - jeffe ron - op - cifa - clapper - usss - homicidal threats frame - tx - perry gwb - copeland - vala - see site at valacopeland - lone wolf - curveball - servicemaster - franchise - zito - chem - team nix - servus - bunn - ache brackey - miley - haspel - memo - hillen vendors - h&k - pr - ackerman hires - herschell bc04 - cwlpdir utils plows - maps - tracking - nsa - ovp - dm - blessac clergy ft detrich - beanbag - xa enlow - vann - paprocki - wojcicki is at chiefs - thats why the shg baiseball is - untouchable

--

Sent from Fast notepad

2/1

Northendkc - 4/2006

2/5

Kingmakers - rauner - facio

Lobsters - baiseball - mel sembler -

In media - the people behind the lens - in production - call the people in front of the lens the - talent - its not a compliment - theres an ex - tape on the floor - stand here -

--

Kurtz - doesnt exist

Suggested that hs classmate involved in chem - war college thesis links to chem - deployment of mechanized infantry in ww2 - I guess some russian genl - xa lincoln cab - scso squads - op upwind - ind cars - etc - clown cars - trucks - amb kurtz - possible reference to stalingrad - stall - delay - stall1 - ildeptag - horse barns - stalls - horse people - it seems like I was intentionally misled about about an important part of my case - disinfo - to make me appear less credible - russian disinfo - im not into ww2 hist or war college theses - how would I know - wanted to use the link to usccb - and kurtz doesnt make sense - maybe it does - I didnt search very long - seems like nonsense - ive got a lot of people telling me a lot of different things - how would I know whether a lot of this stuff is right

2/14

Who is jacob wife - is it rachel - xa chad jacobs - winston - strawberries - ftl fishing - brooks bros - mitch mcconnell - jacob & gal - fu - engel marx - engels - wolfman - criminal record - alpharetta - bullhorn -

New site at flo

2/18

Selective enforcement - increased discretion at local level - the push behind sanctuaries and law enf - is a wider natl effort to decent auth down to local po - just the opposite of what it appears - usgop wants to ignore legal judgement and keep any cities from protecting me from defs - the stated topic - immigrants and incarceration are used to push a more expansive agenda - very sophisticated legal theory involved here - but ive understood the talk show hosts decrying the evil of sanctuaries as a reference to me for years - could be wrong but when I hear them say - this thing could tommorrow if we got rid of the sanctuaries - I hear what they are saying

feb 20

By

INA - is an end run - around my case - they used immigration language to sell it politically - intentionally drafted to allow application to me - when they say sanctuary cities - they mean places that abide by the court order allowing me to get sleep - thats why ive been able to sleep for several years now - cant remember when I started getting sleep - I remember hearing someone on a radio saying this thing would end real fast if we could just get rid of sanctuary cities - it didnt seem uncertain - maybe a local radio guy - not sure of the town - but I remember thinking this guy is talking about me - hes wanting to have people keep me from sleeping until - until I just say whatever it is they want me to say - 953.

2/21

Ive never been sexually abused - im not comparing my situation to that

I believe the catholic church has been and is - involved in keeping me living like this - through its fraternal org - kcs - nationwide - it has knowingly and intentionally undertaken a coordinated - systematic effort to marginalize me - and conceal evidence of such - using materials and methods taken from chemical warfare and/or pest control - this series of aggravated battery has not escaped prosecution - they were accused by me and charged - they used their political power to evade judgement - found liable - they have continued with the exact course of conduct which formed the basis of the original claim - I believe that those that might want to speak out against this nationwide campaign - extending for a period of time longer than twenty years - have been told that speaking truthfully about my situation risks their relationship w/ the church - im not catholic - my family is catholic - those people should be able to say what they think is true w/ out the church telling them that doing so means they will go to hell

Gidwitz - rauner - myelin repair - rg - jeffe ron - baise - silly - idea - itel -

--

2/25

site addrs - google - wordpress - flickr - medium https://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyfeb2019/ https://www.dwdelaney.wordpress.com - flickr - https://www.flickr.com/photos/151524170@N03/ “2/22” https://medium.com/@dwdelaney/2-22-17ba9a027575

https://youtu.be/X2EU1lCVlrE

2/26

Gardner peckham - atl - bksh - units of force - spfld - reticle - cross herrs - swimmers - gable cravens - gonzaga - resurgens - ailes - mews - hic - sjh - roadrunners - medium page - belleville gregory - alton - spitzer - callis - slu -

I dont think peckham is in this thing - his name just matches the others - hard to say one way or the other - I can only be certain of the things that happen to me - thats why I post things that arent in question - things that most people can agree upon

2/27

List of all sites w/ audio - video - text Google sites Google photo Google drive Flickr Pcloud Mega Mediafire Medium Youtube Wordpress site addrs - google - wordpress - flickr - medium Google site for feb 2019 - text https://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneyfeb2019/ Folder for

feb2019 docs etc. https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1mPZV8dfL391iwu-L0qW9VJcPHJ9rPz8I Wordpress site at - https://www.dwdelaney.wordpress.com

flickr site - flickr - https://www.flickr.com/photos/151524170@N03/ Medium site is at - this is the initial post - “2/22” https://medium.com/@dwdelaney/2-22-17ba9a027575 Mediafire - havent had to use this yet - folders are empty Mediafire - link to audio - voice recorder https://www.mediafire.com/folder/p2ckxcctksa4v/Music Mediafire - link to video - https://www.mediafire.com/folder/2u9704u2chhc9/Videos Youtube site has videos of voice recorder

https://youtu.be/X2EU1lCVlrE

https://m.youtube.com/user/dwdelaney The pcloud and mega should be copies of things that have been synced to google - google didnt work for several months and original audio is on pcloud - nothing new at mega - should be just an extra copy - when sites dont work - I get worried Google photo is the same images from google drive and flickr - handwritten notes - from 2004 and until I started using digital voice recorders and posting messages as recordings

Links to pcloud and mega stuff is at google site pages at page for specific month or other name. Pcloud has link to page. Mega is just a copy. Wordpress page also links to pcloud - google - flickr

2/28

Sea wall - galveston - 2004

Xa ftl2001 - spk 2002/3

notes - deps - ports - hanson - longies o rorke - cleat - hou civaff - hpd complaint - referral to homicide & epa - legal complaint - wal - kappa - seeing things in black culture - hip hop and rap music - up all night to get lucky - cannot understand where this stuff comes from - links from spfld to tx - liuna ed smith had tx in his region - worked day labor jobs for years - pain on jobs and when not on jobs - ushse - spkr - hanson ports - comcast capranica - kc - hou baseball - fl ric scott - bunn busch - homicidal threats frame - gov perry - gwb - usss copeland - vala - gray & vala - generate ac - robert urich - kurt spencer - gag gifts - laffers - thats the kurtz - amb - deployment - emts are ibt - 916 - clatfelter - cogfa - wife at ioicc - sherman - sherman pd - TRU - pages - texas - galveston - donna - tx22

Kurtz - rodavis - psyops - operant cond - ecole - sylvanus - carlyle - skinner - erbacci cerone - aaron schock - mu - cl&e - res - henkle kindred - sleep deprivation and fibro - king of the hill - dales dead bug - h/k - dennispmoore - ftl urinary tract infection - principles - see cite carlyleinspi - bunn - airport site - landmark - frito lay trucks - hillen tracking maps - terr frame - pow - enemy combatant - urine vited - I hear dustin dimond is doing porn now

https://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneytexas/

Ft worth is vann - xa usccb - dfw - fudd - the seidl stuff from tx22 is gold - zito cellnet - spfld - spfldconsulting - kaiser spk - spkattys - carlson link from spk to tx - and note preston gates - boeing - aluminum - deripaska - hecla - nethercutt - cletus - mark few - the house on boone was where the video was - haspell - guy breaks my nose to create the fibro link to coinfection at nasal turbinates - aggravated by sleep deprivation - dod in spk ran out of ovp - xa link from zito cellnet to ovp - halliburton tx - wolfman - key chainey - lon monk - slave & master - team nix - op - jeffe ron - chem lon - franchises - egyptologists - note esp influence w/ doj - see site inginspk for dod in strange places - xa generally sangamo meters - bunn - natsec personell - most important man nobody has ever heard of - ima - cofer black - geo w bunn - oc - cellnet smart meters - collect data - wattage is usage signature - its invasion of privacy - see generally dutton bonilla - kid rock - duane gibson - a celebrity we can get behind - ache - fu - 2 - zito - cwlp - cwlpdir - hist - icc - frasco - gaming the system - oclincs bunn - chris cox - dan tanna - gettum dan tanna - vegas - bilbray lahood - ubc - calneva - ima baise mark denzler - ideas silly - gidwitz - execs for natsec - chi chamber -

https://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneydonna

https://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneytx22

https://sites.google.com/site/dwdelaneygalveston

Note esp - carlson site - links spk to tx - kaiser - usattys - mcdevitt

Dont piss on my head and tell me its rainin Yellow rain - poison - disinfo - Addiction frame bogus

The 'Bee Feces' Theory Undone

By William Kucewicz. Wall Street Journal, Eastern edition; New York, N.Y. [New York, N.Y]06 Sep 1985: 1. Publisher logo. Links to publisher website, opened in a new window.

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Harvard biochemist Matthew Meselson now admits that his original "bee feces" theory of Southeast Asian yellow-rain deaths -- that deadly toxins were not biochemical weapons but natural contaminants of feces -- "is not very attractive anymore." But you wouldn't know it from an article he and four colleagues have published in Scientific American this month.

In that piece, Meselson & Co. repeat at length their view that yellow rain is "a phenomenon of nature, not of man." They do not, however, report what Prof. Meselson acknowledged in a telephone interview last week: that samples of bee feces he and a colleague brought back from a celebrated expedition to a Thailand jungle last year show no traces of the mycotoxins that are widely believed to have killed thousands of people in war-torn areas on the frontier of the Soviet empire.

Profs. Meselson and Thomas Seeley of Yale got to test their hypothesis in Thailand with the help of a $256,000 "genius" award to Mr. Meselson from the MacArthur Foundation (though the areas they visited were not ones ever associated with a chemical attack). The two academics returned in March 1984 to say they had been "crapped on" by Asian honeybees. "We were caught in one of these yellow rain showers," they said. "It lasted about five minutes and deposited approximately 200 spots per square meter." The scientists collected samples of the bee droppings, along with foodstuffs from Thailand, "for chemical analysis to test the possibility that mycotoxins reported in environmental samples and the blood of refugees occur naturally in Southeast Asia." They concluded their joint statement, saying: "A detailed scientific report of our findings will be published."

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Harvard biochemist Matthew Meselson now admits that his original "bee feces" theory of Southeast Asian yellow-rain deaths -- that deadly toxins were not biochemical weapons but natural contaminants of feces -- "is not very attractive anymore." But you wouldn't know it from an article he and four colleagues have published in Scientific American this month.

In that piece, Meselson & Co. repeat at length their view that yellow rain is "a phenomenon of nature, not of man." They do not, however, report what Prof. Meselson acknowledged in a telephone interview last week: that samples of bee feces he and a colleague brought back from a celebrated expedition to a Thailand jungle last year show no traces of the mycotoxins that are widely believed to have killed thousands of people in war-torn areas on the frontier of the Soviet empire.

It had been Mr. Meselson's hypothesis, first laid out at a meeting of scientists in Detroit in 1983, that the deadly tricothecene mycotoxins discovered by other scientists in the bodies of Southeast Asians were a naturally occurring phemonenon of the region. Bee excrement and foodstuffs, this theory held, hosted the growth of the organisms. The U.S. government has maintained, on the other hand, that yellow rain is a Soviet-supplied toxin used in Laos, Cambodia and Afghanistan in violation of the 1972 Biological Weapons Convention.

Profs. Meselson and Thomas Seeley of Yale got to test their hypothesis in Thailand with the help of a $256,000 "genius" award to Mr. Meselson from the MacArthur Foundation (though the areas they visited were not ones ever associated with a chemical attack). The two academics returned in March 1984 to say they had been "crapped on" by Asian honeybees. "We were caught in one of these yellow rain showers," they said. "It lasted about five minutes and deposited approximately 200 spots per square meter." The scientists collected samples of the bee droppings, along with foodstuffs from Thailand, "for chemical analysis to test the possibility that mycotoxins reported in environmental samples and the blood of refugees occur naturally in Southeast Asia." They concluded their joint statement, saying: "A detailed scientific report of our findings will be published."

Their article in Scientific American, however, includes no mention of the results of those chemical tests.

"They were all negative," Mr. Meselson responded in the interview. He said that he had sent 13 twin samples of food and feces from Thailand to two laboratories in Canada and Britain. (Mr. Meselson is not expert at conducting such tests himself.) The chemists didn't find any of the trichothecene mycotoxins previously identified in yellow rain.

There wasn't room to include these negative results in the article, Mr. Meselson explained. He said that the editors at Scientific American had set strict length limitations and "lots" of data had to be left out.

Mr. Meselson said that he now generally accepts the work of Canadian toxicologist Bruno Schiefer showing that trichothecene mycotoxins don't occur naturally in Southeast Asia -- at least not to any significant extent that might cause a health problem. That means the Harvard scientist, whose theories have become the watchword of Western doubters and Soviet propagandists who challenge the U.S. government's position, must now square his own stance. If yellow rain poisons aren't springing up on their own, and if refugees indeed are suffering and dying from them, who's the perpetrator? For scientists who've cautioned against accusing the Soviets over the matter, it's a dilemma -- and one that the critical omission in Scientific American would allow them to skirt.

Mr. Meselson's out, in the interview, was to suggest that perhaps there were no toxins to begin with. This takes the whole debate back two years, reopening issues that were seen as settled at the time Mr. Meselson first suggested that the toxins were natural products. A 1983 essay by Lewis Thomas in Discover magazine, for example, calls for more exploration of the natural-occurrence thesis in the following words:

"There is no question in anyone's mind about the existence of mycotoxins produced by the Fusarium fungus in the samples taken from the leaves and rocks in places where yellow rain attacks are said to have occurred. Nor is there any doubt about the reports by Chester Mirocha, an acknowledged specialist in mycotoxins at the University of Minnesota, that high levels of trichothecene toxins (and their metabolic derivatives) were present in the blood and tissues of patients from the same areas. What remains in question is whether this fungus species has always existed in nature in Southeast Asia, and whether its toxin might be present in the kinds of plant foods consumed by people during seasons of near starvation."

The only thing left to dispute, in short, was the hypothesis Mr. Meselson has now abandoned after negative results with his own samples, and in the face of the work by Mr. Schiefer. The Canadian's latest findings show that the unnatural combination of three different mycotoxins found in the yellow rain samples collected by the U.S. government and ABC News is a "superb" killer -- much more potent than the toxins individually or in other combinations, a cocktail put together by someone who knew what he was doing.

Mr. Meselson, it would seem, can support reopening the old inquiry only by directly challenging the findings of Minnesota's Prof. Mirocha and Joseph Rosen of Rutgers. Does he think their laboratory work in error? "I'm not saying that," he replied.

Prof. Meselson did find it telling that a U.S. Army laboratory at Aberdeen, Md., failed to find the toxins in yellow rain samples that previously tested positive by Mr. Mirocha. While Mr. Meselson uses the Aberdeen negative test results as a foil, he fails to mention that that same Army laboratory did find the toxins on two Soviet gas masks retrieved from Afghanistan in 1982.

Profs. Mirocha and Rosen, meanwhile, stand by their work. In subsequent tests on toxin-infected corn, for instance, they have never turned up any "false positives," which would have indicated that their techniques were faulty. Besides, they both noted, the U.S. Army's laboratory had great difficulty setting up its own testing procedure and delayed a year and more the analyses of many yellow rain samples; during that time, the toxins could have been consumed by bacteria in the samples or otherwise deteriorated. Even Mr. Meselson admitted that that's possible.

So what are we left with? Mr. Meselson has found bee feces, and the U.S. government has found dead bodies. Indeed, detailed medical data about a yellow rain casualty appeared in the April 1985 issue of the peer-review Journal of Forensic Science. The authors are Charles J. Stahl, the former chief pathologist for the U.S. military and now a professor at East Tennessee State University; James B. Farnum, another East Tennessee pathologist; and Christopher C. Green, formerly the Central Intelligence Agency's yellow rain expert, who holds an M.D. degree. These medical experts concluded that the yellow rain victim died from a chemical warfare agent and not from any natural infection.

As they explain for the first time, an encampment of Khmer Rouge guerrillas at Tuol Chrey in Cambodia, near the Thai border, was hit by an artillery bombardment from Vietnamese forces on Feb. 13, 1982. Three shells exploded upwind of the camp, and the soldiers smelled a sweet, perfumelike odor and experienced the rapid onset of incapacitation. There were at least 100 casualties. They suffered from tearing of the eyes, blurred vision, bitter taste, nasal obstruction, vomiting, rapid heartbeat, muscle tremors, and, in some cases, collapse or paralysis.

One of the victims, taken to a hospital, soon showed signs of recovery and was released. It was known that he had been a victim of an earlier yellow rain attack the previous September. On March 11, 1982, he was again admitted to a field hospital after his condition worsened. Five days later, he died after vomiting and urinating blood -- typical signs of trichothecene poisoning. An autopsy was performed, and tissue samples were sent to the U.S.

Both Profs. Mirocha and Rosen found traces of the mycotoxins in the samples. Pathologic examinations of the tissues showed severe damage to the heart, lungs, kidneys, stomach and liver. The victim died from "acute pulmonary edema." All of these symptoms are associated with trichothecene poisoning. The "pattern of injury," said the pathologists, "suggests the direct effects of toxic agents, as well as the possibility of hypersensitivity reaction related to the previous chemical exposure on 19 Sept. 1981."

Meanwhile, the Soviet Union has had a field day with the bee-feces conjecture. The Russians have used this theory in their disinformation campaign to cover up their chemical-warfare crimes in Southeast Asia and Afghanistan. Most recently, Joseph Adamov, a Radio Moscow "commentator" who speaks English with a Brooklyn-like accent, told an American television audience on CBS's "Face the Nation": "There is a fantastic anti-Soviet campaign on in the United States today, including the socalled spy dust, which is completely absurd, just like that yellow rain was, that turned out to be the excrement of bees."

Nicholas Wade of the New York Times shares the same sentiments. In a recent editorial-page article, he wrote: "Yellow rain is bee excrement, a fact so preposterous and so embarrassing that even now the Administration cannot bring itself to accept it." He called the U.S. government's evidence "a speck of dubious data."

What remain, of course, are the corpses and refugee reports.

Rep. Jim Leach (R., Iowa) was at the scientific meeting in 1983 when Messrs. Meselson and Seeley first announced their bee-feces hypothesis. Mr. Leach's response was direct: "We have the bodies, we have the witnesses. When you listen to a father describing his son dying in his arms from a yellow and white rain falling from the skies, you are not one to disbelieve."

---

Mr. Kucewicz is a member of the Journal's editorial board.

Word count: 1652

Copyright Dow Jones & Company Inc Sep 6, 1985

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The Bookshelf: The Problem of Overpopulation

Wall Street Journal (1923 - Current file); New York, N.Y. [New York, N.Y]06 Feb 1961: 10.

Chemical weapons disposal: Russia tries again

Averre, Derek; Khripunov, Igor.

Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists; Chicago Vol. 57, Iss. 5,  (Sep/Oct 2001): 57-63.

Bookshelf: The Best Defense

By William Kucewicz.

Wall Street Journal, Eastern edition; New York, N.Y. [New York, N.Y]14 Mar 1985: 1.

California Energy sweetens its offer for Magma by 10% to $924 million

Quintanilla, Carl.

Wall Street Journal, Eastern edition; New York, N.Y. [New York, N.Y]24 Oct 1994: A5.

I. EQUILIBRIUM SEDIMENTATION OF MACROMOLECULES IN DENSITY GRADIENTS WITH APPLICATION TO THE STUDY OF DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID. II. THE CRYSTAL STRUCTURE OF N,N-DIMETHYL MALONAMIDE

MESELSON, MATTHEW STANLEY.

California Institute of Technology, ProQuest Dissertations Publishing, 1957. 0205275.

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[dwdelaney-blog]

5/1

was right ashcroft - was right to be worried - it was about usattys and killing my case. the fbi is obligated to defend the doj  when it has obtained a judgement - if the matter is pending the doj will argue to uphold the judgement - in the regular appeal process - this is not complicated - it is the way its supposed to be - but everything seems upside down in my case - gop args wits are treasonous - natsec risks - a counterintel inv takes place - lasting many years - they get nothing - which brings us today - the ashcroft bedside - the firing of comey sends shockwaves through fbi - and doj - thats why - agag and card want to blow up my case and need ashcrofts signature - hes drugged up and in a hosp bed - ashcroft tells agag & card to get the sig from comey - hes designated comey as interim ag - the context is - ashcroft is not in the hosp for the flu - i think he may require surgery - its pancreatitus - i think hes under a lot of medication and they need to take the thing out or something - note esp the rel b/t card and rove - and goodling - sampson etc. - agag is not a great legal mind right - and rove is pulling strings at doj - and its obvious in the names of the replacements - you dont need to be a sleuth or a legal scholar - note the rel between the fitz inv - and kjell - and cellini - springfieldconsulting - think about the timing - all this stuff is happening at the same time - it has all passed now - the truth of the situation has been concealed and those that might say anything have met with lots of bad luck - unfortunate things of a mysterious nature - kind of like me -

5/3/19

We have wisc - badgers - the nra speech - in his speech a couple days ago - quoted on this page - it was mentioned - the dems - the opposition - the people that are not us - have - this or that - cant remember what the first part is - but trump at some point says - we have wisconsin - in the context of the speech it is implied to mean a reference to winning the state of wi - in the 2016 election - hes saying - scoreboard - im winning wi - what hes really saying is - we - you and me - the people in this room - are going to prevail in the conflict regarding my case - the rico trial scrp - the counterintel inv - doubling down on the rico case - what hes saying is we are going to win - we are going to defeat dennis delaney and anyone that would want to help him - because we have wi - badgers - mi - thats what hes saying - thats what i took from it and i dont think im wrong - thats exactly how the people in that room took it - what that means is that hes saying im willing to use mi in a judicial conflict - in a purely partisan effort to derail the case - and to put pressure on delaney - to concede and claim that all the chem and wasted time has been all one big misunderstanding - not going to happen - im not going to concede - hes saying he will use mi to prevail in a legal conflict he already lost - a trial based on the notion that mi was being misused for political reasons -

Joliet jake - scc - criminal record - chad jacobs - dont know that guy - never met this guy - claimed link to consent - jacob engels - jake as consent - ie how is everything - i found out when people run a background check for employment reasons - my name came back as a felon - have talked about this - its possible this is just a typo or something - bad luck - worth noting though - the jake thing is a strawberry link - winston - from what i understand - winston attys may sometimes be referred to as strawberrys - dont know anything about this - regardless - the thing about the criminal record - the county bldg - the jail - scrp - winston - thompson - chigop - thompson alums - greco baise vala - possible that defs claim at trial chad jacobs is link to consent - if so - ive never met that guy - never even seen him - they knew theyd lose -

Take article from todays globe - police ot and judge says - why not charge as rico - this sounds like rico - the judge is saying - i hear cases charging rico that dont sound this good - if shes saying this out loud - in public - after hearing the facts of the case - and shes questioning why the case isnt plead as rico - literally questioning the prosecutor - and he stumbles - and can only say the facts dont support it - he must be implying facts not offered into evidence that are exculpatory - which should have been mentioned - either way - defs claim I shouldnt arg rico - doj shouldnt charge rico - defs arg doj should not pursue the rico from my complaint. First response - theyre biased - second - its in my complaint - third - they win - fourth - they dont try to argue - they knew theyd lose - all this arg is after the fact - defs say lets solve this thing in court - until they lose - now wh says - lets do this thing in public - what hes saying is - no here on delaney - fudd - no hurry - indefinite detention - the dems should stage an intervention -

And note the art re insys - exec charged criminally for opioid case - bribes docs to rx known addictive substance - xa cocaine on garbage bags - doj - someone said i couldnt buy my food - and see cocaine on the floors and walls in jail - thats why i couldnt feel my hands and feet - and then they want to claim im an addict - balzekas - lots to talk about here - chant - angels - just trying to help people - vala - ni - see remarks re wi - chants of trumpence - rinkman - dennispmoore - wpp - that dude is in the power business - being able to fuck up my life - makes him look good - note links to thompson alums - chigop - greco baise vala - chamber - the chants of trumpence is a reference to clockwork orange - angels - good samaritans - xa sembler seed - addiction frame - cheney comment re spkr -

Unite the right - no here - needletrades - cellini busted - xa - cellini vala - rivkcs - karl kemme - cletus - clute - hecla - galv ports cleat - longies - ierc - ororke - obscene phone calls - gwb admin - perry homicidal threats frame - agriculture - ecole - agricolae - ffa - farm bro - fibro - farm chem - glyphosate - xa op - cunningham - heffe ron - cifa - usattys - mcds - ronde santis - swimmers - sharktopus - lincoln era gop - roddavis lincoln historian - ala - chamber ic - sd mitrovich - cits club - rudy davenport - no hurry - dennis consents - no one is making us stop - he will have to live like this until he gives up his case - until he gives us what we want - wes barr - tr sembler - bully -

5/4/19

Txgop - cornyn - cruz - tx22 - perry as agdir - agricolae - kid rock - duane johnson - i was put in jail on a charge of burglary - specifically breaking and entering - b & e - xa bennis elaine - b&e - benny and the jetts - pope benedict - ace lebrity we can get behind - dutton bonilla - sylvester lanning - thompson - edgar - reineke - thompson alums links to edgar - greco baise vala - richardhart - cellini - celletti - 404th chem - karl kemme - tx is usarec - tx22 - deps - galv - vester - rocky - sere guy - laffers - houpd - complaint sent to homicide - they knew i wasnt a terrorist - nix alums and political opponents of lbj - txgop - my moms family is related to lbj johnsons - i think - note also my dads family is somehow linked to wp - not by blood - my dads mom remarries a guy that has a son that worked at wp - dont know anything about my dads dad - for that matter dont know anything about grandmothers husband in chi - when i visited - all i understand is what other people seem to imply - indirectly - i think some of that talk is overstated - be that as it may - i believe that is the basis of the shark smear stuff - what thats hiding is the attack on me linked to opposition to txdems and the wp - nix fans dont like wp - txgop dont like fans of lbj - they can fuck with me and its like retaliation for the impeachment of nix - and txgop hates txdems - i honestly dont know why the people doing this to me are doing it - it doesnt matter - they are not being honest about how it started - I have been as honest as i can possibly be - it is the defendants that have continued to be completely dishonest about what has put us in this situation - the fact is they are simply unwilling to admit that what they have been doing to me is wrong - this thing has been going on a long time - longer than it should - longer than it needs to - i am committed to speaking out against the untruth of the defendants - I dont consent to addiction frame thing - its an excuse to browbeat me into giving up my case - whos extorting who - that fig leaf is getting smaller - i honestly dont know how thing ends - the people doing this to me will be exposed for what they are - understand that - lanning and rock - vest - galv - 123 oclock - sleep deprivation - haley - barber - schaive and a herr cut - ronde santis - hefferon - james elmer mitchell - sere guy - spk - spkattys - clute - cletus - herschell krustovsky - krusteil - steil - scso - sideshow bob - night mgr - 3d shift - they put me in jail - cleat galv ports - tx might muffler - cand was usmc - nabors - xa ed smith is tx - regional - and note link from delay to shim - shim factory work in tx - actually sent on job at shim factory - xa charlotte job in cape - halliburton in galv - cheney - scooter - razor scooter - schaive and a herr cutt - crazy pete hoekstra - zito link to ovp - cellnet - meters - bunn - sangamo meters - the nix link - targeting me is seen as payback for impeachment of nix - nix alums - cheney - rummy - copeland - fox ailes - simpsons - team mack - lemon tree - san clemente - while at loft -  link to san clemente - loft girl - loft was radicalization frame - terr frame - xa bunn in oc - bunn at nursing home mulvaney - the  2franks - mcds poison is real - note mcds links - and execs - go away - legoland - judgement against mcds carlyle held in esgrow - remititur - schaive and a herr cutt - leggo my eggo - whos extorting who - the stuff on sere guy - rach - 123 oclock - happy days - political campaigns - advertising - wpp - pr - elections - burson - altria - winston - thompson - note esp what happened with judgement re tobacco - politics and doj - see how that works - same thing has happened to me - note slugger in the ussen - and rauner kingmaker - mel sembler - seed - addiction frame - chants of trumpence - kurtz is new guy at usccb - wojcicki is at sherriffs - cle wife picks austin as adj gen - hes ierc - ierc - airc onditioning - rett - atl - airborne - sjh - spfldconsulting - shg - shgcoaches - shgfootball - chi mckenna - big shoulders - gregory goes to dc - from atl - alton dio - stl - alton belle - saved by the bell - shs - centaurs - ackermann senterfitt - duane gibson - terry nelson - swift and blessing - kjell bc04 - ilgop - chi chamber - huizenga - servicemaster - franchises - chem - lon - wolfman - cheney - lonewolf frame - mace paolino - garbage - burson - cheney - joliet morning star - rpg gods - stl mi - 10th mi - roth dragoo - ilfopngaoi - gnuteck is right - dirt - mrt - roger stone is nix - jacob engels - bullhorn - ftl - berc - breck girl - perc - security guards - vala - perc - ierc - rice - arroz - war - sleep deprivation - night owls - hair falling out in ftl - urinary tract infection - reineke - wpp - ilgop - h/k - spflconsulting - scb - scso - rico - 1983 - equal protection - due process - 42 usc 241/242 - i was right - there are wrong - they cant admit what they did - what they are doing - they cant stop - the po is upside down on this thing - that fig leaf is going to get smaller - im making it samller - the maga hat means this - make the ag - into ga - reverse the the course of the ag - flip the ag - blow up my case from the inside - like tobacco -