#I mean except merasmus but he seems happy

[razzzar]

My reaction after reading TF comic 7

[kellanved-ammanas]

Merasmus Ships: Soldier - Innocent

“She is innocent of any and all wrongdoing,” Soldier said, hugging of his ‘pet’ raccoon to his chest and angling it away so that his body was between it and Merasmus. As if that could protect it for long. “Do not blame her.”

“I told you, you could keep it as long it as it didn’t make a mess and it made a mess so get it out of my house.” Merasmus was being as lenient as he possibly could for Soldier’s sake. If he had it his way, he’d kill the damn thing with a fireball.

“I told you, she did not do it. She is very well trained and behaved.” It was literally chewing and clawing at his arms even as he talked. He didn’t seem to care though, it’d be the death of him one day. “It was the ghost, I saw it. It ripped up your spell book and scattered the pieces everywhere. I was going to tell you but then you came home and saw it before I could and now you’re trying to blame Darling for that and it’s not fair.”

“For the last fucking time there is no ghost.” Merasmus had banished all the ghosts from the premises before moving in. Soldier continued to insist there was one though, had ever since he’d moved in.

“No, there is a ghost, it’s just never shown itself to you for some reason. And it does not like Darling so it is trying to make you get rid of her by making a mess of your precious things. She is innocent though and I can prove it.”

Merasmus really ought to just kick the both of them out, banish them to another realm if that’s what it took to be rid of them and he was tempted to. But despite everything he was rather fond of Soldier in a way he didn’t really want to admit to, even to himself but there were times when he had to. So he’d give him this one last chance to keep his ‘pet’ raccoon – why couldn’t he have become super attached to a cat instead? That’d be so much easier and more pleasant to deal with.

“Fine, prove it. And it better be good or I’m going to banish Darling to the lowest depths of hell where it belongs.”

“Don’t you dare.” Soldier gave him a look somewhere between a pouting face and a glare. It was almost comical and endearing except for the fact that Merasmus was still pissed at his damn ‘pet’. “Now, let’s go.”

Holding Darling like a baby – it seemed to have calmed it down some or it had given up on escaping for now – Soldier led the way out of his room and then to the basement; the scene of the crime. The damaged spell book lay open on the table. Three pages had been torn out, leaving only small jagged strips behind in the book. The rest of those pages were torn up and scattered on the floor in front of the table.

Merasmus’ blood boiled at the sight of it still. One of his precious spell books had been damaged beyond repair. And it was one of the oldest ones too, making the information inside it very valuable. And now that damn oversized rat had ripped it up.

Soldier marched right up to the mess. “First, look at the size of the pieces, Darling could not have torn them up this much. Nor could she have sprinkled them on the ground like this. If it had been her, the pages would still be in the book and just torn up with claw marks and perhaps chewed on a bit. Second, the book was on the shelf. I know because I saw it and you always yell at me when I leave your spell books laying out. You never leave them out. And third, she spends most of her time in my room because she knows you don’t like her. So, she wasn’t even down here when it happened.”

Taking the time to look at it more rationally, Soldier had maybe a point. The book should’ve been on the shelf and the pattern of destruction didn’t match with what a raccoon would naturally do. And while she did leave Soldier’s room sometimes it wasn’t often. So… perhaps Merasmus had been wrong? Ugh, how… embarrassing.

“How do I know you didn’t help her? Maybe you left out the book and she clawed it up so you did this to hide that so you could say the ghost that supposedly haunts our home that only you’ve ever seen did it.”

Soldier just looked at him in silence for a few seconds before replying. “I did not. It was the ghost. I saw it happen.” He was firm and insistent as if he truly believed what he said. Which didn’t mean it wasn’t a lie; all of Soldier’s honesty and not knowing how to tell a lie could easily be an act. … One he never dropped even when he had every reason to believe he was unobserved and never faltered on for years. How likely was that really?

But if it wasn’t a lie, that meant he could only be telling the truth, right? Once more putting Merasmus in the camp of having been wrong about two things this time: the ghost and Darling being the culprit in this crime.

“So,” Soldier said, “now that we have established that Darling did not do it, I’m going to put her to bed. She’s had a long stressful experience and she needs a nap.”

Merasmus watched in silence as Soldier walked past him and started back up the stairs. Dammit, now Merasmus now had to chose to believe him and apologize for trying to kill and then remove Darling or not and kick Darling and probably Soldier with her out. … Or he could clean up and try pretend it didn’t happen, certainly an appealing option and therefore the best one.

 -

Except it wasn’t the best one because Soldier continued to be upset about it. He didn’t say anything, he just purposefully avoided Merasmus, especially when it came to making conversation. As a result, it wasn’t even two whole weeks before Merasmus found himself knocking on Soldier’s bedroom door with a grimace on his face.

Soldier naturally answered it within seconds. “Yes?” he said, sounding almost formal about it. He was still upset and perhaps had a right to be since Merasmus had tried to kill his precious ‘pet’.

“I… was wrong and I apologize,” Merasmus replied, saying it as fast he possibly could, the words like acid on his tongue. He was great and powerful wizard, he wasn’t supposed to be wrong about stuff.

Soldier perked up, a stupid grin splaying across his face. “Apologize to Darling too, she’s the one who needs it the most,” he said as he stepped back into his room and gestured for Merasmus to enter.

With a sigh, he did. It was clean and tidy as expected; Soldier was a lot of things but messy wasn’t one of them. Next to his neatly made bed was a baby carriage, inside of which was the raccoon in question. It seemed to have accumulated to life with Soldier as it wasn’t struggling and didn’t seem upset. Maybe Soldier really had tamed it.

Soldier stepped up to stand in front of it. “I am sorry.” Again, he said it as fast he possibly could. The sooner this was done, the better. “There, happy?” he said, turning back to Soldier who was smiling even wider now.

“Yes,” he replied. “And now that we’re all friends again, I can help you catch that ghost. It needs to go because it wants Darling gone.”

Merasmus sighed and shook his head. “Fine, let’s catch the damn ghost.” He needed to see if it was really real anyway. And anything to move on from having to admit he was wrong and apologize for it was extremely welcome.

[tf2headshotcanons]

How would the mercs show their love and affection to their male s/o. Like dates they would take their s/o on, do they like kisses, etc

I want to clear a few things before I answer, if that's alright? Firstly, I personally don't ship any of them as gay (if you look at my sexuality blog, you'll see that only... 2? I ship as straight and the rest bi or pan. Those two are Sniper and Scout), so I apologise. It's because I don't see them as gay is why I'm running my own blog, because everyone else seems to make them gay so a lot of blogs are similar. I wanted to do something different with my different perspective (and no, I ain't asking for credit or praise doing that either!). So strictly gay (but not bi and stuff) asks are probably better left to the other blogs. Mainly because they fucking know their shit. I'm not gay, heck I've never been in a relationship, so actual loving shit is harder for me to do. does that make sense? O.oTo make it clear to that one cunt that sent me hate, || I do NOT hate gays || I just don't see the TF2 blokes as strictly gay (but many with the potential!) That's it! That's literally it!NOW I want to make it clear, If ya love someone. REALLY love someone. It doesn't matter if they have a dick or vagina. So this will sorta answer for both male and female, because if you love someone, their privates don't matter and that shouldn't differ how you love them. But for you, mate (a fellow Sniper fan), I'll try to gay it up for ya ;) Just... Forgive me if I'm not good at it. I'm not gay so I don't know how it differs. To me, love's love ain't it?HEADCANONMANNON TIME:Scout: Aww crap! He... He didn't expect to be... Ya know? He's honestly not comfortable with it, at first. Why? Because he always (forgive my lack of eloquentcy) wanks off to the most sexy and curvy women. But it never felt... Right. He's worried his mother won't accept him (little does he realise his father told her, and they both accept and love him, but it won't stop her teasing him). Scout... Well, Scout does like to see himself as confident and attractive, and to people he hits on - he can be! But when he actually loves someone? Bloody hell, is he kinda shy! Especially now that he's gay! So... He's timid, awkward, and sweaty. He's nervous and makes a lot of error, but ultimately he scores! He tries to be the "man" of the pair - you know, the protective and dominant one? But he's the lass, and we know it ;) Uhhh places, places... You know, fuck it. He's an amusement park kinda guy! Or a sporty guy (obviously) so places that get you out their! Scout... In the amusement park, would be out of his shell and just Scout. But if they did sports together, it'd be like a scene from Ghost, ya know, behind them and teaching them howta swing? That jobbie. Uhh what else do people do romantically? Um movies? Eat- Does he like kisses? Does he fuck! Though kissing Scout is like kissing a damn dog XP Any how, he'd overall be very competitive (but playful!) and try to protect them. He'd try to be the guy his dad wasn't to his mom. Basically, he'd see his partner as the "mom", but really that's him. Soldier: Ehh now, personally, this doesn't need too much of an answer. Because he has Zhanna, we basically know how he'd be in a relationship, and I'd personally see that he'd be the same with a bloke. Protective but knows he can fight, loveable and complimentary. Involving him in dumb shite and neck snaps. That sorta jobbie. And we already know he loves kisses, but the small and quick ones (preferably multiple times!). Honestly, it won't be much different if Zhanna had a dick... Well, she wouldn't have tits but still- My point still stands! He'd take him to the Raccoon Santuary, Training, Ball Games (ref: Demo), Merasmus' home. It's hard to say whether he'd be "alpha" because he'd most likely pick another strong character too. Chances are, they'd both be the "Dad" figure. I'm not sure whether he'd be a movie bloke. He ain't the brains, but he is the heart and spirit!Pyro: We... We don't even know what the fuck Py is. I'm going to use "they" as we don't know what they are, that would be the same for the same sex partner. Off topic, but If Pyro WAS a woman, I think she'd be good for Pauling. But you didn't hear that prediction from me ;) Anyhow, Pyro loves kisses! The same type as soldier, except loves them all day, errryday. If you give them one less kiss from the day before, they may get sad. Pyro loves watching movies, or colouring, or playing with toys, splashing in a pool, burning things or listening to a story. That's what they'd invite their partner to do. Pyro wouldn't be dominant, but they'd be the emotional crutch, they cuddler and emotive one. Basically, the "Mom" archetype. He's mostly passive BUT hurt their love and they WILL torture you! They're bossy and demanding, but full of love. Pyro just loves to be cuddled. Can we just assume for all of this that Pyro's a female and with Pauling?Demo: He's fucking cuddle central, ain't he? He's open to being gay. Suspected it. Doesn't mind it. Though I do think his Mum wouldn't accept - at first. In the end, she'd settle that he's happy and can adopt (And isn't lazy! That's probably her biggest peeve). Demo is the relaxed and chill lover. Doesn't stress, and although a hardworker can slip into bouts of laze. His man would have to be able to party but strict enough to snap him into place. Like Soldier, they may have gone out to the big ball game, or partying or drinking. You know what? Just suggest that it's Soldier he's dating! And yes, he loves kissing, but the sloppy passionate kind. He likes to take a date home to just cuddle and watch that shitty ghost drama. Oh, but his sword may be teasing you both. FYI. Overall, he's very easy going and outgoing. He'll need someone fun to keep up but somewhat strict to stop him relapsing.Heavy: He quietly mulls things over, but it's nothing new nor strange. Like Sniper, he's quiet and reclusive, though he's physically imposing. Though the quiet type, he's very protective and loving. Can even have a laugh. His ideal dates are quiet, reading, moving, or even deep discussions. Anything intimate and meaningful is a worthy date to him. Like Sniper, he probably needs someone a little more forward to approach him, but otherwise is the more protective one. He's very brotherly too and nurturing like a bear. He just loves time with his man, after all time is the most expensive currency. He's more reserved on kissing. You should know he loves you.Engi: He's another that may be mortified of being gay, mainly because the Southern stereotype of it being "unnatural". But he hasn't seen his old man in a VERY long time, so fuck his approval! Engi is another shy boy... At first. His not reserved, but he is nervous at first. He is what's known as a people pleaser and is worried to get it wrong. Where he's an adventurous inventor, he lacks in forward personality. His partner would have to be really smart and ambitious, though not afraid to try new things. He's romantic and kinky like the Medic. A bit freaky too~ So his bloke would have to be ready for anything INCLUDING surprise dominance. As far as dates go, he loves a traditional homemade dinner with a side order of philosophy and smart talk. He's also up for going to a pub but not much of a clubber, unlike Demo. He SEEMS shy at kissing, but he ain't.Sniper: He's honestly mortified at first. His already a pariah to his parents, God what if this disowns him?! God, it keeps him up at night and makes him sick. When the truth does come out, he doesn't make the first contact to his parents. In his mind, he's now an orphan. To his luck, his parents are just delighted that he's found someone to love. That's honestly their biggest wish for him. Like the Scout, he's withdrawn and reclusive. Not necessarily shy though. Just a loner, think the Wolf Children. It takes awhile to get in his heart, but when you do, he's the protective type. Awkward with intimacy and a little oblivious, which probably annoys his bloke but hey it's kinda cute! He's about the little things, holding hands and lying under the stars. He's probably the first to really settle too. He prefers natural dates, like camping or archery. Heck, maybe a bit of reading, knitting and crafting too! Or kayaking. He needs a slightly more dominant man, a friendly and approachable one, one who gives loners like him time and space, and understanding. Somewhere between social and anti. But he's a good lover, just a misplaced one. And traditional, just like his pa. He's more of a hand holder than a kisser, but his kisses mean a lot to his lover.Medic: The actual gay. He's eccentric and creepy, grumpy and funky, boisterous and ambitious. He'd actually be good for someone like Engi or Hoover. Dominant and frisky, yet around others he can be cold and withdrawn. Not in the shy way, but he's not always one to give out love. He loves to experiment and do some freaky things on the first date. Things that border illegal (like smuggling exotic animal pieces). Risk taker. He doesn't like kisses much, but in the mood he will fuck you silly. He seems prissy and cowardly, but he would be the Queen and dominantor of his man.Spy: Like his son, he's taken a back. Mainly because he's used to charming women but surprisingly, he doesn't mind the change. It's actually a turn on. He's a traditional charmer, dinner by candlelight and a movie. Though he's up to some freakier stuff if his lover allows it. He's the mysterious charmer, though he's drawn to sass and mystery himself. And though he can be quite feminine about his clothes, he still makes a good lover for a man. He's just VERY high maintenance. Sometimes, the mysterious men he likes probably can't cope with his high demands, but he calls them standards. He'll need someone who can cope with his high needs and mask. He appears self sufficient, demeaning and cold, but in reality, he loves to feel loved. He gives tough love but means it. And he loves heated passion, making out and hard sex.