#I love the fact that Adam and lute are besties

[ohbother2]

Lucifer had a good reason for sending Charlie alone to that meeting - he can't stand another second around fucking Adam

[hollisiguess]

im bored so y’all are getting some hazbin hcs

Alastor is aroace and agender but he does not know it he has no clue what ANY of those words mean

Rosie actually knows that Alastor is all of those but to fuck with him she doesn’t tell him however she will from time to time call him one of those (for example when she says she knows Alastor is an ace in the hole)

Alastor and Rosie are in a qpr!

Velvette and Vox are besties they will gossip about everyone and everything

Velvette is a non-binary lesbian who uses she/her

EVERYONE in hell assume that the vees are a polycule and for the chaos they never correct anyone

Velvette barely tolerates Valentino and would like to beat the shit out of him at any given time

Ok I have to restrain myself with Velvette so last one even though Vox has beef with Alastor to everyone’s shock she hangs out with him every once and a while over some tea

Lute is aroace but she and Adam are « dating » bc people kept asking Lute out would never take no for an answer and it was making her uncomfortable

Despite everything Adam does care for Lute and is a good friend towards her hence why he agreed to the fake dating plan

Vaggie before getting her wings back would get HORRIBLE phantom pain from them and whenever Charlie would ask what was up she would always dodge the questions and Charlie wanting to respect her gfs boundaries wouldn’t push to much

Vaggies love language is acts of service and Charlie’s is physical touch

Charlie ADORES Vaggies wings she thinks they make her gf even more gorgeous then she already is

Vaggie is actually insecure of her wings as they remind her of a past she’s rather forget but Charlie fawning over them does make her like her wings a bit more

If Charlie is cold Vaggie will use her wings to make her warmer

After the battle against the exorcist Vaggie went back to thank Carmilla for her help and the two got to talking and ended bonding now they meet weekly at Carmillas to practice battle together (the both enjoy it greatly) and sometimes it leads to Vaggie staying for dinner

Carmilla Carmine is essentially Vaggies mom/mentor

Vaggie bonded with Carmillas daughters and they see eachother as sisters

Charlie will sometimes head over to cannibal town to give Rosie a visit and she now calls Rosie Auntie all the time

Vaggie brought Charlie to meet Carmilla and Charlie brought Vaggie to meet Rosie (both were super nervous to meet each others respective mom/aunt figure worried they wouldn’t approve)

Husk and Cherri used to hate eachother but after Angel forced them to hang out they grew to like eachother in a I hate u and hope u die/affectionate type of way

Angel does Cherris hair and I will not elaborate

Angel can’t cook for shit and almost set the hotel on fire many times (he’s now banned from the kitchen)

Vaggie however is a great chef!

Husk taught all the members of the hotel who didn’t already know how to play poker, poker

The hotel guests now have game night which is usually the entire cast struggling while Alastor, Husk and Vaggie sweep and have a rivalry between themselves the others are trying tho!

Alastor also taught the residents chess

Nifty eats the pieces

Im not elaborating on that last one

Vaggie and Angel actually like one another (PLATONICALLY) even considering one another one of their closest friends but neither would ever admit it out loud

Alright now that that's said Angel and Vaggie have mini cooking lessons in secret (WITHOUT ANY FIRE for safety reasons ofc) so Angel can make food for his friends

Lucifer and Vaggie actually bonded a lot especially given both are fallen angels

When Lucifer found out why Vaggie was cast out and how Vaggie had to physically restrain him from (somehow don’t question how he'd even be able to get to heaven to do it) beating the shit out of Lute

Shickingly Lucifer, nifty and Husk are friends and hang out

in fact Lucifer knew Husk before the hotel and had already grown fond of him

Sir Pentious and Charlie are besties

Charlie was the first person who Sir Pentious actually told he liked Cherri (the others still knew but like he actually told Charlie)

Sir Pentious makes Alastor babysit the egg bois after the outing he had with them a while back

Sir Pentious does like Emily but she kinda makes him sad as she reminds him so much of Charlie and he cant see her anymore given she's currently in hell

Razzle was always super attached to Charlie but Dazzle wierdly enough got super attached to Vaggie making her even angrier with Lute when she killed him

Imma end the hcs here cause this is already a shit tone lol

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[phenphoenix]

Kinda wanna write the swap au meeting their og selves I think that’d be fun

Absolutely, I'll even plant some seeds for you that I've already got

Anthony and Angel Dust - Both see each other as the worst version of themselves. Yet deep down, don't hold too much resentment because they are the same person, just different circumstances.

Husker and Husk - Husk is a bit weirded out at first but warms up to husker cause he reminds him of when he was younger and happier. Husker is just curious where husks shirt went-

Niff and Nifty - Niff lowkey kinda wishes she was as crazy as Nifty. Maybe she wouldn't be so depressed- just blissfully insane. Nifty is confused at seeing another her and thinks she has a long-lost twin.

Swap!Vaggie and Vaggie - Vaggie is uncomfortable with seeing her alternate self, just making her more grateful it was charlie who found her. Swap!Vaggie puts on a front to be as over the top as possible because she's lowkey having a crisis and just feels even worse.

Charlotte and Charlie - Charlie is over the moon to meet her alternate self. Charlotte, not so much. She sees Charlie as a naive little puppy. But she admires her resilience and how even with all of hell seeing her as a joke, she keeps doing what she believes in.

Lady Cherri and Cherri bomb - They get along great. Both are still basically the same person, and if anything, Cherri respects the hell out of Lady cherri for being born in the late 1800s and still achieving what she has. While Lady Cherri loves the fact that her alternate self was able to be as free as she was 100 years in the future.

Pentious and Sir pentious - Again, they get along great. Both are goofy middle-aged men who like to destroy things and be eeeeeeevil. But really have a good heart and just want to prove themselves in the end.

Swap!Vess and The vees - Not much to say other than they are all still toxic besties. Lotta passive aggressive remarks lmao

Swap!Sera and Sera - very much a "if my cards were different, I understand I would have gone down your path," but with both thinking they are the better one.

Swap!Emily and Emily - Emily doesn't even want to look at her alternate self. While Swap!Emily sees her alternate self as a naive fool who needs to take more of a stand. (But is faithful that she will)

Swap!Adam and Adam - Both look at each other and go "Hah what a loser"

Swap!Lute and Lute - Lute is disappointed that her Alternate self seems so,,,boring. But still respects her for her high rank in Hevan. Swap!Lute thinks Lute could use a chill pill...and maybe some therapy.

(Since Lillith and Lucifer are still big question marks within cannon and this AU, I'll leave them out for now)

[happyunbday2u]

So I've seen some Hazbin Hotel role swap things like when the pilot first came out they were switching Charlie and Alastor, Vaggie and Angel Dust, Niffty and Husk and Cherri Bomb and Sir Pentious, one on where Charlie and Vaggie switch, one with a Statichusk, once the season came out I saw like one for RadioStatic and somebody even give out a full list on who is who which I loved BUT have ya'll considered this? And work with me here okay

Also I didn’t get a chance to finish the art since I did it on a school computer cause I don’t have my own and my phone isn’t good with digital artwork but I finished the designs

Angel Dust as Charlie: When his family died they were basiclly considered royalty since their family of mafia had gone on for centuries that when they went to Hell they were already covered, living in a goddamn palace with deseasd family members and others from the same mafia. Angel Dust while he really didn't care at first but then started hate whenever the extermination happened due to how many died, he was covered since his family had already had so much secirity and such but it began to seem like something everyone should have. That's when the hotel idea came to place. He tried telling his family about it but it didn't really work too well so he left to try and make it work and save everyone in Hell. His main weapon choice is guns but he really doesn't like resorting to violence, he removed his gold tooth as a way to symbolize how he left his family and the family business.

Husk as Vaggie: In Heaven there were two ways you could become an Exersit, one is by ending up in the Purgatory and having no choice in it, the second way is by being approched by one to ask for your help in secret and choose to become one yourself which was rare but some did choose to that path and Husk was one of them. Skilled with throwing knives and any small sharp object he was one of the best ones on the field, Lute was kinda jelous, and never EVER showed mercy... except for one time. He cornered a small child but found himself not being able to kill him so he let him run off and make it seem like he had managed to run away fast enough. Lute ended up seeing and saw him as a disgrace as she took out his eye and halo, she almost took off his wings but he fought back so she only ended up damaging them so he couldn't fly anymore. That's when he met Angel who showed him better kindness then his own people, he ended up helping him with his idea and is dating him. He doesn't trust most people but more speficlly woman, okay so I added that because you know how Vaggie doesn't trust men? My thought was because of Adam’s personality and holding a grudge for letting Lute remove her eye and wings so for Husk I made it because of Lute doing those things. His main weapon of choice is small knives but he works with cards and exploding dice. Also Fun Fact on the Fandom page, Trivia, it says that Vizzipop was saying that she wanted to make him Russian ended up deciding not to do it soooooooooooooooooo- To me he's canonlly Russian, oh and another fun fact he knows like 6 languages including Italian so now I can have the mental imagine of Husk and Angel talking to each other sweetly in Italian.

Niffty as Alastor: Okay yes this sounds weird but WORK WITH ME HERE! At first glance you'd think oh look at this lil woman but NOPE she is an bug eating Overlord, she's known as The Bug Demon for two different reasons. 1. Her obesstion/appitie for bugs and 2. In the 1940's a word to describe someone as insane was bug which is around the time she was born. She works on the radio. She's feared by all of Hell and anyone who hasn't met her will probobly know really fast why she is. She is absolute besties with and I'm thinking about replacing Mimzy with Baxter but I'm not sure, if you don't know who that is he's one of the characters made but hasn't been used yet. And like Alastor was a mama's boy she was a daddy's girl and is respectful to men UNLESS they are absolute bitches to people. Another reason I gave her Alastor's spot was so that they can still be crazy together and I can keep the mental imagine of them laughing mainaclly together.

Cherri Bomb as Angel Dust: Cherri Bomb sold her soul to Valentino (Or someone else? Give me ideas people, pls) thinking it'll be as simple as she seen others do, it was not, it was even worse since he ended up having her as a 'favorite'. She acts like she doesn't care but it really hit her deep and her escape, besides ya know all the drinking and such, is blowing things up. She came to the hotel simply so she wouldn't have to live in the studio but overtime ended up liking the people there.

Sir Pentious as Husk: He used to be known for winning any turf war until one day there was one he was fighing that was too powerful to defeat so he made a deal with The Bug Demon for help but it didn't end well. Yeah he won but at the cost of having to work for Niffty, he learned how to bartend over time and grew an alchohal addiction, he was forced to work at the Hotel by Niffty and while he did at first dislike Cherri he ended up liking her in the end.

Alastor as Niffty: A hyperactive always smiling through everything, you know Niffty stays smiling almost as much as Alastor, deer demon he's basiclly the world's best cook and basiclly butler of the hotel. He's just a chaotic tall little shit which is basiclly like before but less out there.

Charlie as Sir Pentious: The Princess of Hell hated her title and how she had to live as royalty so she tried to become her own person, key word: tried. She tried become an Overlord but she wasn't good at making deals, then she tried living like any other demon but they reconized her too easily, then she tried to join the Vees but even with her reputation they didn't let her become one of them so to get their attention she tried winning turf wars, one of her biggest rivals was Vaggie. And the Egg Boiz are replaced by the Goat Bois which are just Razzle and Dazzle look a likes In the final battle she did die and get redeemed. I don’t think people realize that Charlie does have a soul since her mom was literally the first woman and when she made the deal with Alastor it was confirmed, plus I want her to still meet Emily and be besties with her.

Vaggie as Cherri Bomb: A young fighter skilled with throwing exploding spears, literally just bombs strapped to her spears, and a turf winning champion. She used to be an angel but she was kicked out Heaven for being rebellious so when one of the exterminations happened they took her down with them but she put up a fight and ended up getting her eye cut out. She's besties with Cherri.

Molly as Lucifer: She was close with Angel the most when they were alive even though she was never in their “family business”. When she died she went to Heaven and knew that her family wasn't so to reunite with them she brought up ideas like visiting hours and such so that loved ones could reunite in dislocated places so that Angels were never at risk in Hell and Sinners didn't plan to raid Heaven. Dispite the court denying and denying she kept trying until she was casted out in Heaven for her ideas and came down to Hell as a fallen angel. She was happy tho, because she was going to be with her family until she saw how distant they all had become with eachother, nevertheless she tried rebonding with her brother. But when Angel Dust came to her with the idea of rehabilitating sinners she just simply believe that it couldn't be done, not that she didn't want to support him, it was just hard to believe that Heaven would accept them after all her ideas were thrown to the gutter and not long after they became distant and she blamed herself. When Angel called her for her help she was so estatic for her brother to actually WANT to see her. "My brother wants to see me! Take that depression!" "Molly, this is Husk! My boyfriend." "You like boys! Oh mio Dio we have so much in common, put it there Tusk!"

I haven’t decided should be in Lilith’s place but I’m debating on Angel’s dad or brother

Thank you for listening to my rant have a cookie

[seas-storyarchive]

Angelradio - au

look, to those who want sera and rosie at each others throats for the antler in alastors pants, i offer you another solution:

they are at each others throats because rosie wants what's best for her bestie who doesn't know shit about the sweet words he spews and doesn't trust the seraphim not to take advantage of him. also hellborns are possessive over what they consider theirs. she can read a situation better than alastor, but she will die and ascend to heaven to protect her dumbass friend from his stupidity if she has to, the ultimate ride and die fiendship (yes, fiend ship) if you will.

Alastor held in a sigh - as he knew this whole endeavor was pointless. Him, Vagatha, Charlotte - in heaven, to plead for favor of the Hotel and the progress it would have on the souls of sinners. The opening number to Heaven? Hmm.. not bad.

"And, this is Sera!" The smaller Serraphim intoduced the taller one.

"Greetings." She said, her voice monotone.

Oh, it's charm time - Charlotte was dismissed and- hmm.. Vagatha looked nervous. Oooh, delicious. Well, his charms always worked. Time to lay it on.

He bowed to them, ever the gentleman. "Hello, fairest Serraphims. My name is Alastor." He took their hands and kissed them, fighting his instincts to take a nibble. "We thank you for hearing us out in our endeavors for helping Sinners atone for their lives led of Sin to have a chance for redemption. It is the highest of honors, to bask not only in heaven," he smiled at Sera, "but in your beauty."

Emily was excited. "He's so nice!" She flapped her wings to hover up and look Alastor in the eyes, blocking Sera's face from him. "I hope you get a chance to see Heaven, for more than just a day at least. I mean, I hope you get redeemed but- oh why are you even down there!"

Ah, energy to match Charlotte's. Welp, time to play along it seemed.

"Ah, worry not about myself, young Emilia." He waited for her to land. "No, no, I am but a humble hotelier for our cause. My job is to help others, moreso than help myself, so they may cross those gates to be with loved ones upon these high clouds of light."

"Y- yeah! He's helping us with the hotel!" Charlie had been too shocked to speak. "But, well, we were hoping to get heaven on board. To smooth the process along." Vaggie nodded beside her.

"We.. will see." Sera said finally, as she had finally blinked away her initial starstruckness at Alastor's charms.

--

"Why hide the fact that you're an angel just like us?" Oh, so Vagatha was an angel and-

"There has to be some way to get Heaven on board!"

Vaggie and Charlie looked at Alastor like he'd suddenly gained a second head.

"Serraphims, Angels, Saints, Arch Angels! Please! There has to be something, ANYTHING!" What was he even saying? He wanted to watch people FAIL. He'd made that clear- but.. they'd come this far, fought so hard. Had a bit of hope truly come back to him? No.

But.. but Angel HAD come so far, that those on high hadn't seen. Had no frame of reference for-

"Fine." All heads as one turned to Sera, Alastor heard some pops - curse his ears.

"Wait- what!?" Adam and Lute were outraged.

"I- thank you! Thank you, Sera! We-"

"There is, one condition." Sera explained, cutting Charlie off. "You, Alastor," the Serraphim looked to the deer man, "must fully commit to this program."

Alastor tilted his head. To get Heaven's support.. he had to fully commit to the program. The Program that he was SPONSORING. That he had no interest in doing. That.. he promised the help with. He'd.. made a deal. That was why they were there to begin with. God, this was his punishment, wasn't it.

Fuck.. oh for-

Alright, fine.

He took a deep breath. "Of course. I accept these terms."

Just.. slow progress. Let himself take part, but slowly. It was for the sake of the hotel. For the sake of.. the future.

"But!" He pointed from Sera to Adam and his extermination friend. "The extermination in one month must be cancelled!"

"You can go into your stupid little program," Adam got in Alastor's face, the First Man was angry while the Radio Demon feigned calmness thanks to his smile, "but fuck OFF with you telling me what I-"

"Very well."

"WHAT!?" All eyes looked to Sera again, some necks snapped.

"Hmm." Alastor hummed, genuinely grateful, with a smile. "Much appreciated, High Serraphim. Truly."

"I look forward to seeing you succeed, Alastor." Sera said with a soft smile.

--

"Al! I'm so happy you decided to join the program!" Charlie said with a smile as they stepped out of the Heaven embassy.

"I.. said what I did to help the Hotel." Alastor said with a sigh. He'd fucking done it now. Ho boy.

"You alright?" Charlie asked, looking at his face.

"I just don't think they'll follow through on ending the extermination." Alastor said, being partially true.

"Why would you say that?"

"Charlotte, oh dear Charlotte.. you know nothing of the world of Men." Alastor sighed. Pitiful, really.

--

"So, Al.. what did you want to talk to me about?" Alastor was with Rosie, having hung around Cannibal Town after Charlie led the Cannibals to the Hotel as a precaution.

"It's.." he sighed as Rosie poured them some tea. "You know how you are my best friend, in all of Hell, yes?"

Oh, this shit again? No, he wasn't about to butter her up and NOT discuss anything with her. "What did you do now?"

Alastor made a groan, distorted by his staff, as he flopped back dramatically. "I agreed to partake in this.. reforming of a sinner dribble."

Oh? Oh! "So, you're leavin' me? Aftah all these years of friendship and-"

"No! No! I.." Alastor groaned. "I said it to help get Sera to promise not to-"

"Oh! Sera is her name?" Rosie was now curious. "Is my little Ally-waly finally becoming a man? I'll give you tips on what to say, how to act! Oh! I'll even make you a new suit! Tell Auntie everything!"

"Never call yourself that in reference to me ever again. And I don't need your patronization."

Rosie laughed. "I just, ya know, you found someone."

"She is merely a business associate."

"You wanted an army because you don't trust her. That's more than an associate, doll face." Rosie said, sipping her tea quickly before looking to him again. "So, what does she look like?"

Alastor groaned. "Super tall, cedar-brown skin, white freckles and a white streak going down her nose, and hip-length curled hair colored in a silver-like ombre, white irises, blue-gray sclera, deep-purple pupils- are, are you taking notes?"

Rosie ignored him for a moment to finish jotting down the description. "I need to know who to look for up there if you get your heart broken. Continue."

"I- this is ridiculous! How would you even know if-"

"I'm a woman, we have our ways. And this will be your first relationship, gotta be ready to put the fear of whatever her god looks like into her if she hurts my wittle Ally-waly." Rosie pinched his cheek with a laugh, only to get her hand smacked away and laugh harder.

There was silence, both sipping their tea.

"You'd really hunt her down if she harmed me?" Alastor was curious, and genuinely touched.

"I'd hunt that bitch for fun." Rosie said. "Just give me the word."

"If the hotel gets attacked, consider it sent." Alastor said, grabbing a biscuit.