#I love the bickering in their dynamic coupled with the shameless flirting ugh its beautiful and they silently care so much for eaach other

[villainous-thorn]

Drabble #3

Only Villain was dumb enough to get themselves captured, dumb and stupidly amazing and strong and perfect, but mostly dumb. Even with their slick tongue and clever remarks, they were still dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. Maybe if RightHand repeated that enough he would actually believe it.

Unfortunately, RightHand was also dumb for breaking into Other Villain’s headquarters deep in the bowels of a hostile town to break the Villain out. Who the hell takes hostages anymore anyway? Other Villain was so boring and old school, more like a mobster with super powers that they rarely used. After about two days of planning, RightHand deemed his plan ready.

The back door to the brick building housing the main HQ burst open, two figures bolted away with lightning speed into the dark, dank alleyways.

“That was stupid and dangerous, I dunno know if I should yell at ya or kiss ya!” Villain chided RightHand as the two dashed from the scene.

“Stupid and dangerous? I thought that was how you liked it?” RightHand bit sarcastically.

Villain huffed dramatically, “You’re lucky that’s all I’m gonna say, Righty.”

“And you’re lucky I saved your ass!” He shot back.

“Oh, look, I’m all teary eyed with gratitude.” Villain teased, wiping a fake tear from their eye. “Anythin’ else you have to say?”

RightHand rolled his eyes, “You’ll be in a different type of trouble as soon as we get outta here, dumbass.”

“You’re lucky I’m even coming with you and not waiting for SuperVillain to come get me.” The Villain bristled, not truly meaning what they said.

“It’s kinda my job to keep you alive!” He reminded them, unfortunately. Lately it was increasingly more difficult to do so, Villain found themselves in trouble more often than ever before. With a quick wit and biting satire they knew how to infuriate others beyond comparison. RightHand took a sharp turn down an adjoining alley, yanking the Villain with him roughly. The duo made it halfway down the street when RightHand finally got a response from the other.

“I know.” Villain slowed and they doubled over, chest heaving. RightHand stopped on his heels as he realized his partner wasn’t next to him, and looked behind him. They didn’t have time for a breather, they had to keep going, the enemy was right on their tails. The subordinate could normally run for much longer than this, and their breathing was incredibly fast, it was starting to worry their associate.

“Villain?” RightHand asked, “Are you okay?” Villain shifted uneasily, trying to catch their breath, “I don’t know. I don’t feel right.” They were struggling to stand, leaning against a brick wall, they took a few deep breaths through their nose.

RightHand was more than concerned but they needed more information, “Whaddaya mean?”

Villain was able to calm themself down enough to speak. “I dunno, Righty. I just don’t feel good. I feel… sick. And I’m so tired. Lethargic.”

Sensitive and trained ears picked up on “Physically, yeah?” RightHand trailed off, cocking his brow, worry etching into his face.

“Physically- Wait… Oh fuck. They gave me a meal an hour er so ago, you don’t think it was-?” Villain cringed, fear overtaking them. Poisoning, that would be an issue, especially if it took effect right then, arguably the worst possible time.

RightHand kept his demeanor cool and calm, trying to focus as his mind hamster wheeled. He looked the other in the eye as he spoke, “Hey, either way we’re gonna get outta here and get you to the lair. Now. Can you still run?”

Villain’s muscles were rapidly relaxing against their will, they couldn’t flex their knees well at all. “Mmmn, I don’t think so, not by myself. My legs... RightHand-” The criminal pleaded, pure terror in their eyes.

RightHand could hear commotion behind them, they didn’t have much time until Villain’s captors caught up with them. “Fuck.” He muttered, wrapping his partner’s arm around his shoulder and forcing both of them forward. Most of the Villain’s weight fell on him as they dashed through the alley.

“Geez, ya ain’t very light, Villain.” RightHand commented to deflect his anxiety, he had no idea what would happen if they were caught. Well, he did know, he just didn’t want to think about it.

The two pressed forward as fast as they could, the criminal whimpered and clutched their rescuer as tight as their fingers could. RightHand could barely hear the noise over the thrumming of his heartbeat in his ears as they reached the end of the alleyway, a barbed wire fence blocking them in.

RightHand silently cursed himself, he must’ve got turned around and taken a wrong turn. He growled, as Villain leaned more of their weight onto him. This was not going according to plan. RightHand leaned his partner on the side of one of the buildings that lined the alley. He quickly extended his razor sharp claws, slashing an opening in the fence for them.

He grabbed his partner again who was almost limp in his arms, clearly on the verge of losing consciousness. “Tha wass kinna hot, m’prezziff-” Villain mumbled groggily.

RightHand squeezed them through the opening he created, one block to the car and they would be safe. He ran as fast as his legs could carry the both of them, he was glad no one was out this time of night, people living in that neighborhood knew better.

The RightHand’s eyes lit up as the vehicle came into view but as he came closer the edge of the building revealed lackeys surrounding it making him skid to a stop and curse under his breath. He thought he had parked far enough away to avoid suspicion but clearly they took notice of a new vehicle and connected the dots.

RightHand turned around frantically and ran to cross the street where Other Villain’s henchmen couldn’t see him, his eyes widened as he picked up the sound of a car approaching behind them, he swore he heard Villain mumble something incoherent.

He pulled both of them onto the enclosed porch of a building, hiding them. The Villain threw as much of a fuss as they could, lazily slapping their associate to get his attention. “Righhhhhh- ryeeeee-” Annoyed, their associate interrupted, “Just shut up for two seconds, there’s a car.” He whispered, covering his partner’s mouth with a hand and pinning them both to the wall.

RightHand heard the car stop a few feet before the stoop, just out of sight but close enough that he knew it was meant to be heard, he swallowed a lump in his throat. They were dead meat. He heard a door thud closed and then the clicking of heels on pavement.

Suddenly he felt something hot and wet on his hand and turned, disgusted, to Villain, retracting his hand and wiping it on his clothes. While he was distracted the Villain used what they had left of their strength to lurch toward the outside of the porch, falling to the ground unconscious and giving away their position.

RightHand held his breath as the clicking got closer, and then he saw a heeled shoe nudge at his partner’s limp hand, “You guys are in so much troubleeeee.” The voice sang mockingly and RightHand felt a wave of relief wash over him as Supervillain’s Sidekick walked into view.

“C’mon, get that idiot in the car.” The henchman commanded coldly. RightHand grinned as he picked Villain up and hoisted them over his shoulder again, making their way to the car.

________________

This was also written months ago for OCs, I just changed the names and added a few things. I know this one was a bit different from my usual, but I hope it’s enjoyable (and understandable) nonetheless! <3