#I love that terra who made kids play her games got stuck playing his

[sergeantsporks]

Obviously in general the Collector’s reign is bad/harmful, but I think he should be allowed to continue utterly humiliating and destroying child abusers. As a treat. He’s doing such a good job <3

[phoenix-downer]

How would you personally rank the Kingdom Hearts games? Storywise, that is.

In terms of story alone, discounting gameplay (and insert disclaimer here that this is all my personal opinion):

1. KH1 and KH2 are tied for first place for me. KH1 is just so magical. It has this sense of awe and wonder and mystery and hope and bittersweetness and nostalgia. Sora’s sacrifice for Kairi will forever stick with me, and everything that occurred from Hollow Bastion onward elevates the game from “really good” to masterpiece. And KH2 has the best ending of the series. I tear up every time I see it. So, so satisfying to experience after everything the characters go through up till that point. Sora and Kairi reuniting is just... it makes the ending of KH1 (which is beautiful in its own right) that much better, and it was so lovely to see Roxas and Naminé living on through them, despite what they’d been told about Nobodies having to cease to exist. 

2. KH3 including ReMind. ReMind really completed KH3 for me and elevated the whole game because it showed just how far Sora was willing to go to save Kairi, and his compassion for his friends’ suffering was really moving. That plot point has been teased since Re:coded, and this time he was able to bear their hurt without it breaking them. Being there with him for his journey over the years just makes me feel really proud of who he is now. And Kairi getting to fight is technically gameplay I suppose, but man was it satisfying, especially because we got to fight the guy who was responsible for her “death.” Her fighting by Sora’s side was what I’d been wanting ever since I played KH1 and KH2, so yes playing through ReMind was immensely satisfying, haha. 

3. BBS has such a good ending in Blank Points that it elevates not only BBS but the entire series. Plus I like the whole “tragic heroes” angle with the Wayfinder Trio, and Eraqus and Xehanort’s relationship fascinates me. 

(I keep waffling back and forth on how to rank KH3 and BBS. Without ReMind, I’d definitely rank BBS higher, and probably Chain of Memories and Reverse/Rebirth higher than KH3 as well, but again ReMind really elevates KH3 for me). 

4. Chain of Memories and Reverse/Rebirth. Really excellent, strong story for Sora, Riku, and Naminé. I loved the themes it dealt with, and watching Naminé stand up to her captors and Sora kick Marluxia’s butt was immensely satisfying. So was Riku’s journey to rediscover himself and forge his own path, and his moments with Mickey were really touching. 

5. Kingdom Hearts Coded/Recoded. Maybe it’s a surprise I have it here, but the ending was fantastic and actually made me cry. It set things up so beautifully for future KH games too with revealing to the audience what Sora needs to do to save his friends. Mickey being so supportive of Data Sora was the kind of Mickey and Sora interaction I didn’t know I needed. Data Sora and Data Riku’s interactions were great too, gave me Steve and Bucky vibes, and it was so nice to see even data versions of them get to work together like that. 

6. Kingdom Hearts 0.2. Really got me excited for KH3, and I enjoyed the deeper dive into Aqua’s psyche. The moment where Terra protected her and Ven are top-notch, and her battle to protect Riku stuck with me too. 

7. Back Cover. In some ways I wonder why it’s all the way down here on this list because the Master of Masters stuff was great and had me wanting more. I guess the lack of closure kind of hurts it, but it was still an enjoyable watch and got me interested in the Foretellers. 

8. KHUx. I struggled with where to rank this one, because the story itself is really intriguing, but the presentation of it is frustrating with updates being rare. I wish the game updated more frequently, and I hope the story is released as a cutscene movie at some point a la Back Cover because I’d love to experience it all at once. The recent revelations have been tugging at my heartstrings, so I can only imagine what it would be like to experience the story with full voiced cutscenes!

9. Dream Drop Distance. This one is so near the bottom because its highs are really high but its lows are reaaaaally low. The time travel stuff is a mess, Kairi barely being in the plot really doesn’t have a good excuse, and Sora’s characterization doesn’t feel consistent with how you’d expect him to act after KH2 (thankfully KH3 fixed this but I digress). However, the “you treat people like bottles on a shelf” speech from Sora to Xigbar is fantastic, the whole “Sora almost gets norted” plotline was also really good, Sora and Riku being so supportive of each other shows how far they’ve come since KH1 days, and Riku’s arc in this game is just so amazing that really, it almost makes up for everything else. I just wish Riku being such a badass didn’t have to come at the cost of Sora’s characterization, but like I said, KH3 fixed my issues with that (but then handed Riku the incompetence ball unfortunately, but that’s a discussion to be had another day). 

10. 358/2 Days. A controversial choice, I know, and please don’t take this to mean I think Days is terrible! Much like DDD, it’s a flawed game that does some things very well; I just enjoyed DDD more personally. Again, this is all pretty subjective, and I have been informed I did things wrong by watching the cutscene movie before playing the game. I think that probably impacted my experience of the story (plus Xion’s death was spoiled for me). The plot was also really overhyped for me I think? There just wasn’t any way it could realistically live up to the expectations people had set for me. I also don’t think I played the game at the right time of my life. The people who seem to love it the most are the ones who first played it as kids or teens, and I was an adult by the time I got around to it. So I think the theme of struggling with identity/what it means to exist just didn’t impact me as hard. It’s like if you try to watch My Neighbor Totoro for the first time as an adult. It just doesn’t land the same.

Thanks for the ask! Again, this is all just my personal opinion, and I’m curious to hear how you’d rank the games!

[auntiebioticslab]

I didn’t get any asks for this but that’s okay because unfortunately I am WELL capable of infodumping without anyone’s permission. so here’s the unplanned variable ask meme by @outervvorlds

read mores do not work on mobile because tumblr is garbage from a toilet and my computer is currently on a UPS truck to California. I am so sorry.

Basics! Name, age, personality, etc. What do they look like? Are they a new or old oc? 

Her name is Rocket Alexandria Hawthorne! Formerly Rachel Holloway back on Earth but I’ll get to the reason for the name change.

She’s extremely vague about her age (her go-tos are “older than you” and “over a hundred” which are both technically true due to the “being on ice” thing) but she can pass for anywhere between 30 and 50 appearance-wise and the timeline of her Earth memories pretty reliably pegs her as late 30s-early 40s.

She’s a really effortlessly confident and funny person, which is the main reason she could probably talk her way out of her own execution. Also because I have a disease that makes me project my brain shit onto every oc I have she’s prone to hyperfixating due to an Unclear But Definitely Present Brain Thing so she knows a lot of things about a lot of things. Also she’d never openly admit it but she’s a sucker for romantic things and definitely cries at weddings.

This is her:

Her mom was Pakistani and her father was Black but she usually just says she’s from Baltimore.

What are their attributes, perks, and flaws?

She’s got high charm and intelligence, average strength and temperament, and good everything else.

I got her up to level 30 my last play through, do not make me list all her perks. Most of them this go-round so far are buffs to vendor prices and boosts to movement speed.

She has weakness to both plasma and physical damage!

What do they believe in?

Religiously, she’s agnostic but she kind of likes the notion of Philosophism. Morally, she believes that there’s no reason for people to pointlessly suffer just so someone at the top can hoard money, and also that the colony would be better off if Byzantium suddenly burned to the ground.

...she did not burn Byzantium to the ground, don’t worry.

How did they react to becoming Captain of the Unreliable? Are they much of a leader?

She always kind of wanted to be a cool spacefarer, but she hoped it would be under different circumstances. She told ADA that the real Hawthorne was killed by marauders, offered the poor bastard some dignity in death.

She is a pretty effective leader but that’s because she doesn’t really see herself as one? The crew aren’t subordinate to her, they’re her friends.

What was their life like before being iced?

It was boring! She was stuck in a shitty line cook job which wasn’t terrible but also felt like a waste of her education, and she was barely scraping by anyway. That’s why she applied for the Hope initiative.

Did they have any family before becoming Captain? Do they think their crew as family? 

Obviously she had parents growing up; they werent as present as they’d have liked to be because Work but she never once felt like they didn’t care for her. They didn’t live to see their daughter off when she boarded the Hope, but that was because of natural causes.

She also had four older brothers! Darren, Brice, Gene, and Andre. She was closest to Andre because the age difference between them was only a year. He’s actually the one who gave her the nickname “Rocket” in the first place; when they were kids they would pretend to be space explorers and their pretend names were Astro and Rocket.

None of her brothers were on the Hope. Darren actually was doing pretty well for himself in a low-level government job and didn’t feel the need to leave the planet, Brice didn’t want to uproot his wife and kids, Gene, well...she still has no idea what Gene was up to when she boarded the Hope because he took a job in another country and lost contact with his siblings years prior. Andre had been dead for years, unfortunately, having died in a work accident a week before Rocket was due to graduate college.

It still nags at her that while she can at least assume all her other brothers died peacefully and surrounded by loved ones, she knows EXACTLY what horrible thing happened to Andre.

As for the current crew, ohhh yeah, they are definitely her family. She cried when Felix said “I’ve got a family” to Clyde.

What’s their fighting style? Who do they bring along?

Ironically for a timeline where Roosevelt was never president, she does practice big stick diplomacy. Well, it’s usually small stick diplomacy because she prefers one handed melee, but still. If she can avoid direct conflict (through stealth or negotiation) she prefers to. The only exception was Tartarus.

There’s no real rhyme or reason to who she has in her party because from a Me As The Player standpoint I just go with whoever gives me boosts to the stats I need for the quest I’m doing. Which, in practice, usually ends up being Parvati and Felix because of that sweet sweet Persuasion buff.

Is Spacer’s Choice their only choice? What do they think of the corporations?

She is...not a fan of the amount of power they have. Spacer’s Choice in particular has a special place in hell as far as she’s concerned. If you held a gun to her head and asked her to pick a favorite...she’d probably ask you to just shoot her. Or she’d choose Auntie Cleo’s because their jingle is the least annoying.

What do they think of the factions? Are they liked or disliked by any?

Rocket has to make an actual effort to get on someone’s bad side so she’s in pretty good standing with most of the major factions. She made an effort with the Board, though 😁

For her part, she’s especially fond of the folks on the Groundbreaker.

What’s their favourite place in Halcyon? Least favourite?

She likes the scenery on Terra 2 and the people on the Groundbreaker, but as corny as it sounds her favorite place in Halcyon is the Unreliable. It’s home to her, and it’ll stay that way forever.

She doesn’t hate Edgewater per se but being there fills her with rage because of how...indicative it is of the way the rest of the colony is being run.

Do they have a favourite alien creature?

She definitely has never done extensive research on the care and feeding of leather boas because she hyperfixated on the idea of getting one as a pet before realizing that recreating the necessary habitat conditions on the Unreliable was impossible, or at least way too expensive.

No, I’m not projecting the amount of times I have done something similar for bearded dragons.

Did they save The Hope?

FUCK yeah she did.

What do they want to do afterwards? - but do they get a happy ending?

She finally gets some use out of her degree; she’s qualified to be a food scientist, like a real actual food scientist, and that’s probably what Halcyon needs more than anything.

Considering a few other things that happen in the epilogue, she doesn’t get a perfect end. But it’s enough.

What do they think of the companions? Friendships, crushes, dislikes, etc. 

She immediately thought “now I’M the big sister” after recruiting Parvati and Felix, so there’s that. Probably accidentally called each of them by the name of one of her brothers a few times. Convincing Ellie that she actually cares about her as a person is her white whale of sorts, and she empathizes a lot with Nyoka given her own history of loss. Logically she realizes that Max is a fellow capital-A Adult but also she feels like she’s holding the leash on a feral dog whenever he’s with her. She likes to tell SAM he’s doing a good job.

How do the companion quests go?

Golden ends across the board, babey. I’ve never been one to half-ass shenanigans.

What’s their love language?

Gifts and acts of service!!! She always tries to play it cool until she’s ready to admit her feelings though, so there’s a lot of pretending she just HAPPENED to find this thing she damn near tore the planet apart looking for.

Also she especially likes to flirt by cooking. Even back on Earth she got into a fair few relationships by being like “hey neighbor, I underestimated how much this recipe makes, interested in taking some leftovers off my hands? ;)” when she knew damn well how much the recipe made and doubled it so she had an excuse to see her cute neighbor.

Are they in a relationship? Do they want to be?

She has a crush on a certain rogue scientist, and unfortunately for her it is such an intense crush that she actually gets tongue-tied around him sometimes, which isn’t something she’s used to and that stresses her out a LOT.

Damn now I want to write an immediately-post-game-but-WAY-pre-epilogue fic with the crew trying to get them together so they don’t have to listen to Rocket blasting classical music and frustratedly screaming into a pillow every time she leaves his lab.

How to win them over?

She likes to look into someone’s eyes and see a fire, you know? I mean this in both a platonic and romantic sense—if someone is downtrodden but still determined, she probably at least respects them.

Also if someone she has feelings for does some kind of tender touch thing like brushing her hair behind her ear she McDies. Just completely short circuits. Cannot handle it.

How to break their heart?

If she found out someone important to her was using her or going behind her back it would destroy her. Unwilling betrayals as a result of being under duress are one thing, but deliberate, calculated manipulation? That’s her absolute worst nightmare.

How did those cows get onto their ship??

She wanted to try making homemade cheese and didn’t trust the bottled milk to actually be from a cow after what she learned about the saltuna cannery in Edgewater.

Ok technically she just agreed to deliver the cows to a facility on Terra 2 after the actual ship carrying them had engine troubles on Groundbreaker but she liberated some of the milk while in transit. Not like they’d notice.

A song that reminds you of them,

Sucker Punch by Die Mannequin!

Three random facts about them.

She got that burn scar during her time on Earth. Be careful with hot liquids, kids.

She’s tall—like, 6’5” tall. People who don’t receive proper nourishment don’t get very tall so she towers over most of Halcyon.

After the events of Don’t Bite The Sun she went back to Stellar Bay and told Raymond “I’ll teach you my recipe for breded cystipig chops with mock applesauce if you’ll teach me how to make that casserole”. Good trade for both parties.

[calpalirwin]

Evil Author Day #5

My parts of the (really long) brain child with @baldcalum. Maybe one day we’ll finish it. Who knows.

~Shay 

March 2020~

“Hey, Raz, turn on the radio station that’s downstairs,” I said, peeking my head in her office at 8:55 on the dot, just like I did every morning. 

“Why?” my business partner, roommate, and best friend asked me. I knew she had gotten here at 8 am on the dot, liking having the office to herself before the day started. I kept telling her to start coming in with me- New York was full of creeps and weirdos- but she was stubborn. And I couldn’t exactly argue with her, as I too, traveled to and from work by myself. No, we could handle ourselves just fine, thanks.

“5SOS interview today,” I told her simply as I shrugged off my jacket and draped it over my arm

“Oh, that’s today?” she asked, her eyes going wide in excitement. 

“Yep,” I grinned, before heading to my own office. We had been hoping to snag 5SOS as a client when we started our business 2 years ago. We had our- less than pleasant- opinions about their current management and thought we could be the change they needed in order for their band to go from punk kids out of Sydney to the talented rock band of grown men they actually were. After all, who better to understand the struggle to be taken seriously than 2 women with their own management company in the Big Apple?

As I leaned back in my desk chair, I let my mind take me back in time to when I had first met the woman in the office next door to mine.

~~~

~June 2015~

“Alright, so your big project for this class is a business plan. You will work in pairs of 2. There is a rubric online for you to follow, but the better thought out the plan, the better the grade. Any questions?”

I rolled my eyes and put up my hand. There was no way I wasn’t going to at least try and see if I could do this project myself. Anything to get out of dreaded partner/group work. “Yes?” The professor asked, and I couldn’t tell if she was looking at me or the girl next me to me, who also had her hand up. 

“Can we work alone?” we both asked at the same time. 

The professor looked at us both and smiled one of those smiles that made me curl my hand into a fist. I knew what was coming. “If you’re both so inclined to work alone, maybe you should partner up.”

I suppressed the sigh and accompanying eye roll as I turned in my seat to get a better look at my partner. If I had to guess I would’ve pegged her as a bright-eyed freshman straight out of high school, probably a fashion major from the way she was dressed. I suppressed yet another eye roll. Could you die from rolling your eyes too much? Eh, whatever. A business plan was child’s play to my own plans. If little fashionista wanted to prove herself with yet another clothing line, I’m sure I had some old shit lying around we could tweak up.

“Raz,” the girl whispered, a terra-cotta hand reaching out to shake my tawny one. 

“Shay,” I whispered back, shaking the offered hand, before turning back to pay attention to the same old first day lecture I’ve heard a thousand times before. 

“Hey, wait up!”

“What?” I said, my hand pushing my way out of the building, my foot sticking out to hold the door open for the voice behind me. 

“We should probably arrange something so we can meet and do this project,” Raz demanded, hands going to her hips. 

I made a face before gesturing at the building behind us. “It’s not like I’m hard to find.” Seriously, a 3 hour class that met 4 days a week? Why was I doing this to myself again? Because you broke up with your boyfriend and have nothing better to do? Shut up!

“Still though. I want a good grade on this assignment.”

“You and me both, kid. Relax, it’ll get done.”

“Kid?”

“Yeah. You’re like what? 12?”

“I’m 18, asshole.”

“My point exactly. Look, this isn’t my first business plan, alright? I know what they’re looking for on these assignments. Just tell me what you want so I can show you what I have next class, alright? Enjoy your day, kid,” I smirked before walking off. 

“Hey, where are you going?!”

I stopped in my tracks, wheeling to face the younger girl once more. “Work. God damn…” Then, I started walking again, calling out to her as I did so, “walk and talk, kid, walk and talk.”

“You work?” She fell into pace with me. 

“Yeah cuz that’s what adults do!” I said in an obnoxiously cheery voice. 

“Would you cut the crap, already? We’re like the same age.”

“False,” I corrected. “I’m a 21 year old with a minor in business. You’re an 18 year old freshman who’s about to get your world rocked when you finally realize that you're not special. You’re just a regular fish in the same boring ass pond as the rest of us.”

“So, what are you doing taking a business course if you already graduated?”

“Killing time until law school,” I shrugged.

“Oh, that’s cool. What do you do for work?”

“I’m an assistant at a law firm downtown. They offered me a job after my internship with them. Pays well and they work around my schooling.”

“And they let you dress like that?” she asked, eyeing my outfit of sneakers, jeans, a t-shirt, and a hat covering up my short hair.

“No, I’m going home to change first.”

“Oh, cool, I’m going to the dorms, too.”

“I don’t live in the dorms. I have an apartment. Law student, remember?”

“Oh, cool we can work there instead.”

This kid would not quit! I liked it. “Alright,” I said, pulling out my phone. “Put in your number. I’ll text you when I’m off work. And please, just put your name. No weird shit with emojis.”

“You better text me,” she muttered, putting in her number and handing me back my phone.

“I will, relax,” I told her, allowing myself to smile at her.

~~~

“Yeah, you know, we’re in our twenties now. Mike’s getting married. We’re growing up and we want our music to show that,” Ashton’s voice said through the radio. “We just want to be true to who we are both individually and as a band.”

I shut off my radio. This was it. My moment. “I’m going down there,” I said, poking my head in Raz’s office. 

“Relax, Shay. At least wait for the interview to be done.”

“Are you coming or not?” I asked, already making my way out of the office. 

“Alright, alright,” she said, getting up from her own desk and following me. “Shit, business cards!” she said, once we were in the elevator, a hand clapping around her pockets. 

“I got it,” I said, pulling a few out of my own pocket. 

“What would I do without you?” she smiled. 

“Playing ‘What If’ is a fool’s game,” I smiled back as the elevator doors opened.

“You ladies going down?” Luke Hemmings asked with a heavy accent. 

I shared a look with Raz before thanking whatever forces were behind this perfect timing. 

“Yeah,” I answered, keeping my voice steady as I stuck out my arm to hold the elevator. “C’mon,” I said as the 4 members of 5SOS crowded in around us. Small, one syllable words. Don’t fuck this up.

“Lobby or parking garage?” Raz asked them, a small squeak in her voice that was undetectable to the untrained ear. She was nervous. I was nervous. This was crazy! But we had learned to keep our wits about us long ago. Our nerves were undetectable to anybody but each other.

“Parking garage,” Calum Hood said, reaching a tanned and tattooed arm across her shoulder to hit the button. “Thanks, loves.”

“How was the interview?” I asked, trying not to freak out that I was in an elevator with my favorite band and that my arm was touching the arm of my favorite drummer from my favorite band.

“Good,” Calum, Luke, and Mike all answered.

“God, it sucked!” Ashton said, giving voice to what I imagined was closer to the truth than his bandmates polite response.. 

“What do you mean?” Raz pressed, while the men sucked their air through their teeth at their friend’s admission of the truth. 

“It’s the same old shit every time. We’re in our twenties. We’re not those high school dropouts anymore, and I wish they’d realize that.”

“You alluded to that,” I commented, glancing up at him.

“Yeah, and they blew past it to talk with Mike about his engagement.”

“Oh. Congrats, by the way,” I said over my shoulder to the shorter of the two tall blondes. 

“Thank you!” Mike smiled as the elevator dinged and opened. 

They all stepped out, and I followed on instinct. This was my chance. I was going to take it. “So, you’re tired of not being taken seriously?” I asked. 

“So tired,” Ashton said, his hazel-eyed gaze locking with my brown-eyed one.

“Well, here,” I said, pulling out the business cards and handing them each one. “If you’re serious about being taken seriously, give us a call,” I said, giving his arm a quick pat before stepping back on the elevator. “Enjoy New York!” I waved as the elevators closed. 

“That was your plan?!” Raz rounded on me. “Give us a call?! Shay!”

I tsked, holding up a finger. “Do you trust me?”

“Always, but Shay, we really should’ve planned this better.”

“Then trust me. When have I ever let you down?”

“Never.”

“Exactly. Trust the process, kid.”

We were stepping back into the office when the phone rang. 

The receptionist, a cute young thing named Maya, moved to answer, but I waved her off, moving to answer it myself. I picked up on the third ring. “C. S. Management, this is Shay.”

“Hey, I think we were just in the elevator together. You gave us your card?” Ashton’s voice said over the line. 

“May I ask who’s calling?” I asked, playing coy and professional as I switched the phone to speaker mode so Raz could listen in.

“Uh, it’s Ash. Look, we’re gonna go talk this over, but we wanna hear what you and your company has to say. Can we arrange something?”

I looked at Raz, raising an eyebrow. 

She raised 2 fingers at me. 

“We have an opening at 2 if that works for you gentlemen,” I said, putting power behind the word “gentlemen” purposefully.

“2… 2 sounds perfect. We’ll be there.”

“We’ll be here,” I told him back.

~Ashton

March 2020~

~Before the meeting~

I looked at the business card in my hand the woman with shining brown eyes behind large glasses had given me, watching her slink off back into the elevator, her heels clicking with purpose. I swear I saw her wink at me as she waved and called out “Enjoy New York!”

“Ash? Ash! ASHTON!”

“What?”

“What the fuck are we gonna do with this?” Calum asked, looking at the business card in his own hand.

I shrugged. “I dunno. We’re still in a contract. But…” But, what? But the way her voice had sounded when she said the word “serious”, almost like she knew we were sick of being jerked around, like she was offering us a way out, not a way to promote her own business.

“He’s gonna call her. Oh, God, he’s gonna call her!” Calum said, his hands going to his head as he spun in a circle.

“Hey!” I snapped. “Are you happy with our management still trying to pass us off as the teenage boy band? Cuz I’m not. That wasn’t the image we wanted.”

“Mate, maybe slow down?” Luke said.

“Luke, you hate this band more than anybody,” Mike laughed. “I’m with Ash. We can at least see what they gotta say, right?”

“Thanks, Mike,” I grinned at him, pulling out my phone and dialing the number on the card.

It rang once, twice, three times. “C.S Management, this is Shay,” her voice chirped professionally over the line. Oh, I bet she was feeling pretty damn proud of herself right about now.

“Hey, I think we were just in the elevator together. You gave us your card?” I answered.

“May I ask who’s calling?” she asked.

I held back a giggle. Damn, she was good. “Uh, it’s Ash. Look, we’re gonna go talk this over, but we wanna hear what you and your company has to say. Can we arrange something?”

There was a short pause, then “We have an opening at 2 if that works for you gentlemen.”

I smirked at the way she said “gentlemen” rather than “boys” like everyone else usually referred to us as. “2…” I looked around at the other 3 who all shrugged, “2 sounds perfect. We’ll be there.”

“We’ll be here,” she chirped back before hanging up the line.

~After the meeting~

I twirled the business card between my fingers. Back and forth and back again, I twirled the card, their logo spinning with my movements. “Oh, just call her!” Luke said, giving me a shove.

“What?” I asked, snapping to attention.

“Shay! Just call her, mate.”

“No. That’s unprofessional, Luke. Her company just offered us a new start. She might be our boss. I can’t just call her.”

“I’m with Ash. Don’t call her. Just drop the whole thing, please?” Calum put in. “Don’t let this stupid crush fuck this up for us.”

“Hey, Ash, can I see your phone?” Mike asked suddenly.

“Why?” I asked skeptically.

“Mine’s dead. Gotta call Crystal.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” I dug my phone out, unlocking it for him before handing it over.

“Sweet, thanks,” he said before typing something. “And send. Thanks, mate!” he said again, tossing me my phone.

“Mike, what did you just do?” I asked.

“What you were too scared to do yourself.”

“Michael!” my voice thundered as I got up to get in his face. “That was unprofessional on so many levels!”

“No, you said calling would be unprofessional. I texted. Big difference.”

“That’s not any better!”

My phone pinged in my hand.

“A ‘thank you’ would be fine, mate,” Mike winked as he put a hand on my shoulder.

“How about you’re lucky I don’t kick your ass?” I muttered, looking down at the notification. I clicked it open as I walked to my bedroom in our suite.

Hey, it’s Ash. Coffee?

Little late for coffee isn’t it?

Ha-ha, sorry. That was Mike.

Oh… so that’s a no on coffee then?

Didn’t you just say it was too late for coffee?

Oh, I meant for me. But… if you’re getting coffee… I can keep you company? NY's a dangerous place for a man to be out by himself.

I laughed as my phone pinged again with an address and the simple instruction of: Meet me here in 30 minutes.

I’ll be there.

~~~

I did a double-take when I walked in the small cafe and saw Shay. She was dressed completely different from her black slacks, black heels, and white blouse she had been wearing at our meeting. In their place were blue jeans, a plain navy blue t-shirt underneath a thin cardigan, sneakers, and a hat- that she was wearing backwards- covered up her short and chic half bob. Professional woman to 90s skater chick in the blink of an eye. Damn, was there anything she couldn’t do?

“Hey,” she greeted, patting the empty seat next to her.

“Hey,” I greeted back, taking the offered seat. “You look… comfy.”

She laughed. It was both light and full of life, much like the owner. “Gotta blend in, y’know?” she laughed again. “Should we?” she asked, her gaze shifting.

I followed her gaze to the counter. Right. Coffee. Focus, Ash. “Yeah,” I smiled.

We approached the counter. “Hey, Ty,” she said to the barista.

“Shay, finally gonna order?” he teased her.

“I was waiting for a friend,” she joked back with him.

The man eyed me before giving her a look. “Hot or cold today, babes?”

She brought a finger to her lips in thought, her gaze flickering out the window. “Let’s do cold today.”

“And for your friend?” he asked with a pointed glance at me.

“Uh, I’ll have a medium iced caramel macchiato, please,” I said.

“Coming right up,” he said before giving us the total.

Both of us reached for our wallets. “Oh, I got it,” Shay told me, waving her hand at me.

“Nah, I asked. My treat,” I told her, inserting my card into the chip reader before she could protest.

“Technically Mike asked,” she giggled. “But, thank you.”

“Here ya go, Shay,” a different barista said, placing two identical drinks on the counter.

“Thanks, Maddie,” she smiled, grabbing the cups and handing me one. She gave her cup a swirl before taking a sip, eyes closing in a state of bliss.

“I thought you said it was too late for coffee,” I teased her as we made our way back to our seats.

“Feeling a little wild today,” she responded.

Good. I was too. She gave her drink another swirl, and I caught a glimpse of the tattoo on her wrist I had noticed earlier on at the meeting. I hadn’t wanted to ask her about it then, but now seemed like a good time to ask. “What’s that on your wrist?”

“Oh, it’s a dreamcatcher,” she told me, offering me her arm so I could take a better look.

It was simple line work etched into her slightly sun-kissed skin. “Wow, that’s nice. Is it your only one?”

She gave a shake of her head. “Nope, I got some birds on my shoulder. Another simple linework piece. I like the minimalistic look of it.” She tapped her shoulder to show where the other tattoo was hiding. “Then I have another tattoo on my ankle,” she added with a giggle.

My hand went up to rub at my own bird tattoo on my neck. “That’s cool,” I smiled at her. “Do they mean anything, or are they just because?”

“Bit of both. They were both graduation presents to myself. The dreamcatcher’s a heritage piece. The birds are just symbolic in a way.”

“Shannon’s an Irish name though, isn’t it?”

“It is. I’m only half-Irish, though. Then part Native American, hence the dreamcatcher. And a bunch of other things thrown in for good measure.”

Half-Irish girl meets half-Irish boy, both with bird tattoos and a liking for caramel macchiatos. What were the odds? “And the one on your ankle?” I pressed, curious about the giggle she had associated with it.

“A newer piece,” she giggled with a blush. “It’s… uh… well, let’s just say I’ve been a fan of your band for a while,” she concluded, reaching out to tap my tally tattoo on my wrist. 

My teeth bit into my lower lip. Bird tattoos and actual matching tally tattoos? Damn… “A fan, huh?”

“I’m into drummers,” she shrugged with a playful smirk. “But yeah. Been a fan for a while. Still a little starstruck if I’m being totally honest.”

I would have never guessed that I made her nervous. She was so… level-headed. “You saying that I make you nervous?” I asked, a flirting edge in my voice. 

She gave a small chuckle. “Nobody makes me nervous. But yes. A little. You’re well-spoken. You’re talented. You’re cute…” her voice trailed off as she ticked away my traits on her fingers. 

“Cute, huh?” I asked, leaning forward and biting my lip again. 

“Just an observation,” she shrugged. Then, “So, did you have questions about the meeting? I know it was a lot thrown at you all at once. I always think of my questions after the fact, too.”

“What?” I asked, blinking slowly and sitting back in my seat, wondering how she had switched from flirty to professional so quick. “Oh! No, I just… wanted to take you out for coffee.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrows quirked up as she took a sip of her drink.

“Yeah, as a thank you.”

“Sure…” she said.

“Alright,” I giggled. “So, I might also think you’re cute. And I might like you a little bit.”

“I might like you a little bit, back.”

I leaned forward towards her. “Oh, do you?”

She leaned forward herself, the light bouncing off her glasses, making her brown eyes shine a billion different shades of melted chocolate. “It’s unprofessional,” she whispered, leaning back and crossing her arms, closing herself off to the idea.

“It is,” I agreed with a huff.

“I mean, you might be my client. I might be your boss.”

“But, I’m not your client yet. We haven’t agreed to anything,” I countered.

“Are you saying you won’t be taking us on our more than generous offer?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Shouldn’t you talk with your bandmates about this? I should really be consulting with Raz… This is…”

“Unprofessional. I know.”

“Very,” she agreed with a nod.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Start dating me before I become your client.”

“What? Fletch, I can’t just… people will… I hardly know you!”

“Bullshit!” I giggled, my head reeling at her calling me “Fletch” as no one had ever called me that before. I liked the way it sounded coming off her lips, the way her front teeth nipped at her lower lip and her tongue poked out of her mouth. “You’re gonna sit there and tell me you being in the elevator at the same time our interview ended was pure coincidence? Little Miss Fan?”

She ducked her head, a blush forming on her cheeks. “No… and I’m not little. I’m 7 months older than you, actually.”

“We both just admitted to liking each other. What’s the problem?”

“People will talk.”

“People do little else.”

“You don’t know me!”

“You do know how dating works, right?” I giggled.

“This is insane…”

“Look, there’s no real moral issue here. I’m not your client yet. And when I am, it’s really my band that’s your client, not me individually.”

“Why do you want to date me anyway?”

“Because you’re the first one to take me seriously. Because of a million reasons I can’t wait to discover.”

“This is insane…” she repeated.

“Definitely,” I agreed. Then, I leaned forward and kissed her. It was soft, then it grew as she kissed me back. Her hands came up to cup my face as one of mine came to rest at the base of her neck, pulling her closer to me. All I knew in that moment was that I would never again be able to kiss a woman and not wish it was her. It was animalistic, the way I needed her. I didn’t know why. I just knew I needed more. And something in the way she kissed me back let me know she was feeling the same way.

~Shay~

“There you are,” Raz said with an eye roll when I finally breezed into our apartment. 

I glanced down at my phone. 9:17 pm. Whoops… “Must’ve lost track of time,” I shrugged. 

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. “Oh, for fucks sake, Shay! You kissed hi,m didn’t you?!”

I brought a finger gingerly to my lips. I could still feel his on mine, the way his teeth had nipped at my lip, the way his breathing had caught in his throat. “Maybe…” I grinned. 

“God damn it, Shay!” she started. 

I held up a finger. “I know! Okay? I know. Unprofessional. 100 percent. But damn, can you blame me?”

She rolled her eyes, but “He is a babe. They all are.”

“Oh yeah,” I agreed. “And we figured it out.”

“We? Figured out? Oh, God, Shay. What did you do?”

“Remember how you’re always telling me to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Well, let’s just say I finally listened.”

“Shay!”

“I know! I know how this looks. We both do. But, look, there’s no real issue here. He’s not actually our client yet. And even when he does become our client, it’s his band, not him. And people are gonna talk their shit anyway. And need I remind you, it’s Ashton fuckin Irwin!”

Her eyes narrowed again as she thought it over. Then, “I hate you. This is a bad idea.”

I rolled my eyes. Maybe the bubble of anger I felt rising up inside of me was because she was giving voice to the own doubts I had in my head. Maybe I found her “holier than thou” act a little off putting because I know she had a thing for one of our actual clients. Maybe, because for the first time in 5 fucking years I had put myself out there to go on a date, with a hell of a guy who actually liked me back, and now my best fucking friend was shitting all over that happiness just because it may or not be a conflict of interest. I didn’t need her on the side of the critics and the skeptics. I needed her on my side. Maybe it was a combination of all of the above. But either way, my temper flared and I was going to let it fly. “You know what? Fuck you,” I said, keeping my voice level but throwing as much venom in my words as I could. 

Her eyes widened for a bit at my sharp words, but then they narrowed and I knew she was about to fight back. “Fuck me? Really Shay? This is unprofessional and you know it. People are going to think you’re using him to get the band.”

“I’m not you, Raz!” I shouted, knowing I was hitting low, but too pissed off to stop myself from doing it. “I don’t flirt with everything that’s got a fuckin’ pulse!”

“Fuck you!” she practically spat at me, her own words fierce, but I saw the quiver in her lip. 

I laughed. A harsh, humorless sound. “Yeah. Fuck me,” I said with an eye roll before heading down the hall to my room. 

“Where the fuck are you going?!” her voice called out. 

“The fuck do you care?” I asked, reappearing with a thicker jacket and a beanie in replacement for my hat. 

“Shay! SHAY!” she yelled as I slammed the door behind me. 

I jogged my way down the stairs, praying she wouldn’t follow me, and ignoring the nagging voice that taunted me. Shay, how long are you gonna run from your problems? Shut up! I don’t run from anything! And just what the hell are you doing right now, Shay? I said shut up!

The phone was ringing by the time I hit the ground floor. The line picked up by the time I pushed my way out of the building. Funnily enough, I couldn’t even remember taking my phone out of my pocket. “Hey, Shay,” he answered, and I could hear his smile. God, how I found security in him so fast was fucking mind-blowing. 

“Hey,” I replied, my voice sounding tired and on the verge of a breakdown. 

“Uh-oh, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I lied. 

“Where are you? Are you home?” I could hear him moving around in his room, his voice holding a slight trace of panic. 

I smiled despite the hurricane of emotions raging in my chest. He was worried about me. I didn’t realize how much I had missed having a potentially romantic partner being able to read me so well. And so soon? Add intuitive to the growing list of things that made me adore that man. God, he was sweet. Why couldn’t Raz see that? Why couldn’t she be happy I found a nice guy? “No,” I answered. “I… uh…” Where was I going? “I need to clear my head.”

“Shay, it’s dark out. Go home, please. Or tell me where you are so I can come get you.”

“Central Park, 5 minutes,” I told him. 

“Central Park, 5 minutes,” he repeated. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon, Fletch.”

I hung up and let my mind wander as I walked, my hands burrowing into the pockets of my jacket. Back home wearing a leather jacket in March, even at night, would have made me sweat. I would never get used to the biting New York cold. But I’d be damned if I went back to LA looking like this. Me this morning? Sure. Shay from this morning could roll up to LA and brag about how great her life had become. But Shay right now? No, I couldn’t go home the same insecure wreck I was when I left. I needed to pull it together.

~~~

~December 2017~

A knock sounded on my apartment. “It’s open,” I called out, too lazy to get up and actually answer. I didn’t know why Raz was knocking. She had a key. 

“Honestly, Shay, you shouldn’t leave your door unlocked like that,” Raz tsked as the door shut behind her and she flopped down next to me on the couch. 

“Honestly, Raz,” I joked back, “you should just ditch your dorm room and move in with me already. You’re here all the time anyway.” At two and a half years of knowing each other Raz had become my very best friend. She made the ache of missing home a lot more bearable. 

“What and give up my freedom?” she scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

I shrugged. “We’re graduating next semester. Where you gonna go, Raz?”

“Where are you gonna go?” she countered, referring to my career options, not my living situation. 

“Somewhere we can both be free,” I answered, spreading my arms across the back of my couch. 

~~~

“Shay?” Ashton’s voice laced with concern startled me out of my thoughts. 

“Hey, Fletch,” I answered with a small smile. 

“Are you okay?”

I shrugged.

“Shay, what’s wrong?”

“Everything,” I breathed, scared if I said anymore I would shatter. I didn’t want to shatter in front of him. I didn’t want him to see me vulnerable. But something in his voice made me think it would be okay if I did.

He wrapped me tightly into a hug and I breathed in him in. I wasn’t the biggest fan of cologne, but I could get used to liking his citrusy scent. Just like I could get used to the way his strong arms held me tight, his heartbeat hammering in my ear, his breaths as steady and solid as he was. “C’mon,” he murmured, leading us to a nearby bench. “What’s wrong?”

“Something’s gotta be wrong for me to enjoy Central Park at night with a cute boy?” I added with a small chuckle.

He frowned.

“Sorry. Not boy. Man,” I amended with another chuckle.

The frown deepened. “You just said everything was wrong. And now nothing’s wrong? Shay… what’s going on?”

I sighed. “I really don’t want to be vulnerable with you right now.”

“What do you want?”

“For this to be easy. To just be able to like someone without people thinking there are bigger things at play.”

“Who’s thinking bigger things are at play? Shay, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I like you. Not as lawyer Shay trying to close a deal. But as Shay Shay. Just a woman with a hopeless crush on a man that the rest of the world is going to blow way out of proportion.”

“It’s not hopeless,” he said, his eyes a pool of swirling honey underneath the streetlights, his breath hot against my face as he pulled me in for a kiss. I wished for time to stop as I melted into him, letting his kiss glue all the pieces together before they could fall.

~~~

“Morning, Maya,” I greeted as I strolled into the office the next morning.

“Morning, Shay.”

“Did you manage to hunt down 5SOS’ current contract agreement?” I asked. I had asked her yesterday before the meeting, but I wasn’t sure if she had gotten around to it as she got busy pleasing her other boss.

“No, Shay,” she fumbled. “Sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it,” I smiled at her. I’d have my assistant Alejandro track it down when he got in.

“Raz, ready to rock the world?” I greeted, poking my head in her office. I was back to being my chipper self, ready to put our lover’s quarrel behind me if she was. Neither one of us had apologized. But that was the beauty of our friendship. At the end of the day it didn’t matter what was said, because we had each others backs no matter what. But does she Shay? The nagging voice asked. What if is a fool’s game, I answered back fiercely.

“Yep! I’m working with Waterparks today. Can you send me the schedule you worked out for them?”

“Check your email, Raz,” I winked. I was damn good at my job. The schedule was already on there. “I’ll be working on drafting a contract for 5SOS. So, I’ll hold down the fort. Keep a good eye on those Waterpark guys, and try not to drool over the green-haired one so much,” I smirked.

“Awsten is a babe, Mrs. Irwin,” she teased me back.

“Oh, hush!” I laughed, walking to my office, smiling to myself. Good, if she was teasing it meant she was being civil about the idea, if not completely accepting. That was fine. I didn’t need acceptance. Well… No, civil was fine. Civil was good. Acceptance could and would come later, I was sure of it. “Oh, Ale,” I said, my eyes locking in on the tall law student striding my way.

“Morning, Shay,” Alejandro greeted me. Alejandro Juarez was a Puerto Rican lad in his first year of law school. The law firm I worked at in my college days had him as an intern and contacted me when they said the young man was interested in working more directly with a lawyer, rather than doing the equivalent of paper pushing. That had been 3 months into Raz and I starting our business and I was desperate for help. And one look at the ambitious man and I was hooked. I had even written his recommendation for his law school application and attended his graduation from his undergrad program last May. His drive and positive attitude had made him essential and I had come to think of him as a little brother.

“How long do I have you today?”

“I have class at 2:30. So 1?”

“That’s fine. I remember the rigor very well myself. I have a small task for you. Think you can handle it?”

“I can do my best.”

“I need you to track down 5SOS’s current contract for me.”

“Shay, they’re not in our system.”

“I know. They have an LA team managing them right now. I need to see what it entails. And I need you to get it for me.”

“How?”

“Mmm… lie. Say it’s for school, Ale,” I told him, placing my hand on his chest. “You’re a smart man, I believe in you.”

“I’ll do my best,” he told me, swallowing.

“You always do,” I smiled brightly at him. I loved how being a powerful woman felt. “I’ll be in the office if you need me. And don’t bother Raz, she’ll be with a client until further notice.”

“Should I let Eloise know?” he asked, referring to Raz’s assistant.

“Eloise should already know, Ale. Contract, please and thank you.”

“Coming right up.”

I turned to go into my office when my phone rang. “This is Shay,” I answered, stepping into my office and shutting my door.

“Hey, babes,” Ashton’s voice sounded over the line.

My heart fluttered at the pet name. I could definitely get used to that.“Oh, hey Fletch. What’s up?”

“Nothing, just wanted to hear your voice.”

I smiled as I sat down at my desk and pulled up a blank document. “Aw, you’re sweet.” But there was something in his voice that seemed… off? “Is something wrong?”

“No.”

“Fletch,” I started. “I know we have our walls. I’m extremely appreciative that you’re patient with me while I figure out what is too much to share with you too soon. I’m extending you that same respect. But, please. I can hear in your voice that something’s off.”

“You can?” came the incredulous reply.

“You’re very expressive,” I admitted. “Please. Talk to me. That’s the only way we’re gonna figure this whole mess out.”

“Something’s gotta be wrong with me to enjoy a phone call with my girlfriend?” came the teasing tone as he used my own words against me.

I smiled. “What’s going on Fletch? You don’t have to be vulnerable and lay out your life story just yet. But c’mon, give me a little something.”

He chuckled, then sighed. I could picture his brows furrowing together and his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s Cal. I don’t think he’s on board with the whole us dating thing. I think he thinks you’re seducing me to get us as a client. You know, like you said everyone would think. I think I was too swept up in the moment to realize the deeper implications of what you were trying to get me to understand. But, I see it now. And from Cal, it’s… Fuck, I dunno what to do here.”

“Neither do I,” I confessed.

“Can I ask you a question without you getting offended?”

“Of course,” I nodded.

“Are you using me to get my band to sign with your company?”

“No,” I promised. “Look, this is nothing but a huge coincidence. I’m just as afraid of this going badly as you probably are. I’ve been hurt before, and I certainly don’t want to re-experience that pain. But, I’m also a professional. Whatever happens between me and you is between me and you. It has no effect on my company’s desire to take your band on as a client, I can promise you that much now. It’s two totally separate things that just look related.” As I spoke I became less sure of who I was reassuring: him, Cal, Raz, or myself. “Shay the lawyer would love to sign your band, yes. But, Shay the woman just wants you.”

He let out a small chuckle and I could picture his dimples. Man, my boyfriend was such a babe. And damn that sounded good. Ashton Irwin, my boyfriend. Shay Gibson, Ashton Irwin’s girlfriend. I got chills just thinking about it. “Alright. So, what is my gorgeous girlfriend up to?”

“She is smart, not gorgeous. And she is working, so she needs to go. I’ll text when I go for lunch, okay?”

“She is smart and gorgeous. And I hope she doesn’t work too hard.”

“Me? Never,” I laughed. Working hard was the only way I knew how to work. “Bye, Fletch.”

“Bye, babes.”

We hung up and I stretched my hands out in front of me, cracking them as I did so. Then, I set to work, outlining a foolproof contract for our potential new client. My intent was to ensure that they would have full creative control of what they did and how, the same we promised every client we had. It was part of why we were so successful. Our motto was after all “Let art speak for itself, because to tamper is to diminish.” But, I still needed my hands on their current contract to see what they were currently being offered. We didn’t want to give them what they already had. We wanted better.

When I had a basic draft, I moved on to checking schedules. I knew 5SOS’s current management had a North American tour planned for the band to go on after their sad 2 month stint in Europe that was 1.) not long enough and 2.) had upset a lot of fans by the reckless skipping around. I needed to have something in the works to help sweeten the deal. And thankfully, I already had a rock band that we were sending off on a world tour of their that was set to start next March and carrying them into November, both for their benefit and to the benefit of one of our up-and-coming duos- a sweet brother-sister act with the voice of angels and attitude to boot. “Eloise?” I asked after I hit the button on my phone to buzz Raz’s assistant.

“Yes, Shay?”

“Is Raz busy currently?”

“Uh… yes. She’s in with Waterparks in the conference room.”

“Thank you, El,” I said. Perfect. Both of them in the same spot.

“Oh! Shay, they just sent over the contract. Would you prefer a hard copy?” Alejandro asked as I walked out of my office.

“Ale, you’re the best!” Today was going fan-fuckin-tastic and I loved it. “Can I get 6 copies, please?”

“Sure thing, Shay.”

“And email the pdf of it anyway,” I added as an afterthought. Better to have too many copies than not enough.

“Already did.”

“Thank you, Ale. Get me those copies, and you can cut out early if you like,” I told him. I knew he would appreciate the time to relax or get in some last minute studying before dashing off to the crazy world that was first year law school.

“Thanks Shay!”

I rapped on the conference room door before I entered. “And here’s Miss Gibson now,” Raz said, glancing up at me. “Impeccable timing.”

“Hey,” I greeted. “I take it Raz showed you gentlemen your tour schedule?” While Raz liked to up her professionality by referring to everyone as Miss or Mr in the office, I brought in the friendlier side by opting to stick with first names or nicknames. It was a perfect balance; the way we liked to run our business. The only time Raz slipped from that professional demeanor in the office was one-on-one. The only time I slipped into that formality myself was when I was mad. It was a simple unspoken norm in the office that “Miss Toliver referring to you by your first name is fine, but if Shay uses your last name, you better run.”

“Yeah, we’re looking it over now. 8 months, huh?”

“Make sure those passports are up to date,” I told them, then “It’s what you wanted, right? To be as accessible as possible? There’s no interviews scheduled during that time. Just shows and meet and greets.”

“This is perfect!” they told me.

“Did Raz also show you the interview schedule. It’s a little less than a year away so we got plenty of prep time. It’ll be a very busy week, but short so you can rest up before the tour.”

“Yeah, it all looks so great.”

“Awesome. And I actually had a question for you all.”

“Uh-oh, you have that look,” Raz said, crossing her arms. “What crazy idea do you have now?”

“How would you feel if you co-headlined with 5SOS?” I asked, a smile on my lips.

“5SOS? Hell yeah! Is that one band still opening for us?”

“Yes, Lucky Mess will still be opening,” I assured them.

“But, don’t get your hopes up about 5SOS,” Raz warned them, and me. “We’re optimistic. But no promises.”

“Nah, this is great. Can we make the tour name Punk Rarities Tour?”

“I like where your mind’s at,” I smiled again.

Raz rolled her eyes, “Anyway!”

I chuckled to myself as I walked back to my office. Time to focus my attention on the contract. Everything was lining up perfectly, now I just needed to stick the landing.

“Everything’s on your desk, Shay. It’s still early, though. Are you sure you don’t need me to stay?” Alejandro told me.

“Is your test today?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. I knew everything about my staff. It was a habit I picked up in my years at the law firm. If you knew everything going on, nothing snuck up on you. And I wasn’t in the business of unexpected surprises. I may have created a reputation of being impulsive, but that was because everybody only heard what flew from my lips. What they missed was how my brain was already 3 steps ahead of the game.

“It is!” he smiled, pleased I remembered.

“Then, I’ll manage.”

“Thank you!”

“Give ‘em hell, kid,” I smiled before shutting myself in my office once more. Alright. Let’s see what type of shithole mess 5SOS is in, I thought to myself as I took in the stack of contracts neatly piled on my desk, an email notification on my browser showing the message from Alejandro that held a pdf version of the papers in front of me.

I took a quick glance at the time. 10:30. Wow, it was early. Perfect.

I picked up one of the contracts, giving it a quick glance. Looked pretty standard. Creative control, plenty of touring and promos before tours. I clicked my tongue. Damn, c’mon, I needed to strike gold here. Aha! My eyes glanced at a section titled: Relationships. “Oh this is great,” I said out loud as I learned that while they were free to flirt and sleep around, girlfriends-emphasis on girl, oof fuckin’ homophobes in LA? Alright- needed to be “approved.” I snorted. “Good, God. That certainly explains a lot…”

I was about to continue my digging when my desk phone buzzed. “Yes Maya?” I asked, hitting the button to connect me with the front desk.

“Shay, a Calum Hood is here to see you?”

I pulled a face. Of fucking course he was. First Raz, now Calum. I was beginning to wonder what our best friends were more concerned with- protecting Ashton and I from potential heartache, or protecting their own image. Frankly, I didn’t care. Ashton and I were grown ups capable of making our own decisions and we didn’t need anyone’s approval. So why was I letting this cut deep the way it was? Because all you ever wanted was to be accepted, my brain supplied. I let out a breath to steady myself. “I’ll be right there,” I answered, getting up.

“Calum,” I greeted, opting for the middle ground by not calling him by the nickname I had picked out for him, but also keeping my temper in check. For now. “Glad of you to drop by. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No, this’ll be quick,” he told me, his brown eyed gaze heavy as it locked on mine.

“Please, right this way,” I said, leading him back to my office. “So, what can I help you with?” I asked him, gesturing to one of the chairs I had in my office.

“You need to stop,” he told me. It was direct and simple. A demand. He remained standing, rather than taking a seat. A power move. Time to show Calum Hood just who the fuck he thought he was fucking with.

“I’m sorry?” I blinked, meeting his gaze and holding it steady. Keep it cool. Play it dumb.

“With Ash. Stop it. Whatever this thing is. End it. Now.” Again, the words were direct. No malice. No begging. As simple as asking someone to pass him the salt.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“What’s your angle here?” he demanded, his brown eyes hardening, his arms crossing. Now came the malice. Game on.

“I don’t have an angle, Mr. Hood,” I told him, keeping my arms down at my side, our eyes still locked.

He scoffed, dropping his gaze. “Bullshit.”

“Is that so?” I asked, continuing to remain cool and level-headed. No way I was going to get lectured by Calum “love is a scam” Hood. I turned my computer screen and thrust a copy of his current contract in his hand. “I take my job very seriously, Mr. Hood. When we said we could do better, we meant it.”

“This is my current contract,” he scoffed again, shaking the document in his hand at me.

“And this,” I gestured at the computer, “is my offer. Giving your band total control in every aspect of your lives. We want to represent 5SOS, Mr. Hood, not the other way around. There’s no ulterior motive here at play. This is my offer. Take it or walk, I don’t really care. But this ‘thing’ as you so lovingly called it I have with Ashton? That’s personal, and frankly none of your concern.”

His eyes squinted as he stepped forward to look at my computer screen.

“Oh, and I already have a tour lined up for 5SOS with Waterparks. Co-headliners with a small opening act. You each get a 75 minute set. Better get started on that setlist,” I told him, dual-screening my computer so he could see the tour dates. “There’s also a week long press tour of sorts. Just interviews around here to generate buzz.”

“These are a year out. What if you and Ash break up?” he asked, finally getting to the point. His eyes still had a hard edge to them, when they locked back on mine, but it wasn’t as stoney as before. This was worry. He cared about his friend, that much was obvious. I would admire it more if it wasn’t at my expense.

“What if we don’t?” I countered. Then, “Don’t answer that. The answer is the same either way. Nothing happens. I’m a professional. If my company represents your band, then my company represents your band. Plain and simple. Your account will most likely get passed to an associate anyhow. There’s no real conflict in interest, here, only the imagined one you, and I assume the rest of the world, want to see.”

While his eyes showed him weakening in his stoic stance, he still had fight left in him. “You’d rather risk losing us as a potential client, than break things off with Ash.”

I shrugged. “I have other clients, Calum. Waterparks is already preparing to headline the Punk Rarities Tour by themselves. The only loss here is your band’s. Seems a bit selfish of you to keep them from what is an amazing offer just because you have your own reservations. But, that’s neither here nor there. Point is, I’m not walking away from my relationship with Ashton. I’m serious about your band, and I’m serious about him.”

“You barely know him!”

His temper flare, brought out my irritated professionalism again. Damn, just as I was back to the middle ground. What a shame. “Yes, I do believe that’s why they call it ‘dating,’ Mr. Hood. You should try it sometime. Too bad your current contract is a bit… hmm, let’s use the term  ‘restrictive’ in that area. If only there was a management company that didn’t give a damn who you choose to associate yourself with. Oh… wait, that would be this company, now wouldn’t it?”

“This is stupid, you know that right? The rumors this is gonna cause when your relationship gets outted? It’s gonna be a total shitshow. Are you prepared for that?”

I narrowed my eyes at him with his nasty snarl that seemed out of place on a man so pretty. “Nobody’s holding a gun to your head, Mr. Hood. You and your band are free to walk away from my offer. So what are you really scared of here? Scared that I might break your friend’s heart? Or scared that my company can and will do better for you and your band?”

“I’m not scared of anything,” was the cold reply.

“Could’ve fooled me,” I replied, just as cooly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Hood, I have work to do.”

“This isn’t over,” he huffed, stalking out of my office.

“Merely the beginning,” I said to his retreating back.

~Ashton~

“Cal, how could you?!” I rounded on my friend when he came back to the hotel from his morning “walk.” “I really like her! You could’ve fucked everything up for me!”

“More than you could’ve fucked this up for all of us over a stupid crush?!” he yelled back.

“She’s not like that!”

“How do you know?! You’ve known her for what? 24 hours?! How do you know she’s not seducing you to sign us?!”

“I just do, okay?!” His sullenness was already making my stomach churn, but his outright hostility was taking it too far. If he wanted to blame someone, he should be blaming Mike for sending the text in the first place. But no. Instead he stormed into my girlfriend’s office and raised hell. But yeah, me and her were the unprofessional ones. Sure. That was fair… I was about to continue tearing into him, but all our phones pinging had me stopping in my tracks.

I opened the email on my phone. It had 3 attachments and a simple message: 

Dear 5SOS,

Meet me at 2pm today to discuss the attached files. No excuses. I know you’re still in town.

Shay Gibson

Head of Legal Department

C.S Management

~~~

“Shay, 5SOS is here to see you,” the receptionist said into the phone.

“Thank you, Maya, I’ll be right there,” Shay’s voice said through the speaker. Then, she was in front of us, the epitome of professional in a grey blazer covering a flowery blouse, fitted skinny black slacks showing off her small curves, her black heels clicking along the floor. “Ashton, Luke, Mike, Mr. Hood, good to see you all again,” she greeted, her voice holding a small edge to it. “If you’ll follow me, please,” she continued, turning and leading us into the same conference room we were in yesterday, where 2 folders were placed in front of each of the 5 seats. “So, blue folder is your current contract with your current management system. Red is C. S. Management’s contract. I’ve taken the liberty of highlighting key differences in each contract so you know exactly what’s different. Basically, I’m keeping what I liked and tweaking what should have been tweaked the day you stopped touring with One Direction. Also in red folder you’ll find the Punk Rarities Tour which you will have a 75 minute set as co-headliners with Waterparks and Lucky Mess as your opening act. I highly suggest you make sure your passports are up to date, and that you don’t lose them, Mike.” Her eyes danced playfully behind her black frames as her gaze shifted to the shorter of the blondes who looked down sheepishly. 

“How did she know?” Mike whispered. 

“I know everything,” she whispered back with a wink. “Now, as I was telling Mr. Hood this morning, there is also a week long interview press tour of sorts before the actual world tour takes place.” It was the second time she had referred to Calum as “Mr. Hood” and I knew she was doing it on purpose. Being friendly with us and cold with him. I smirked to myself. It wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it.

“This is great and all but 1.) we’re still in a contract and 2.) where’s Miss Toliver?” Luke asked. 

“Oh, see you are smart! Luke, your contract with C. S. Management takes effect the second your current contract ends. You and your bandmates just need to sign it of course, and not sign a new one with your current company. That leaves plenty of time for any amendments and revisions to make sure this contract is exactly what every single one of you wants. As for my business partner, she‘ll take a more hands-on approach once 5SOS becomes a client. I just handle contracts and scheduling.”

“This tour looks long…” Mike said. 

“It is,” Shay agreed. “Waterparks wanted to make themselves as accessible as possible to their fanbase, so I did what I could to make that happen. If a conflict of interest arises, we’re more than prepared to handle it. We’re very… flexible here at C.S. Management.”

“Look, no jumping all over the place other,” I said, looking at the cities tied to the tour dates. “Just a simple zigzag, up and down.”

“Yeah, I was never fond of the idea of jumping recklessly all over the map,” she said, with a small smug look. “I like order.”

“Do we have to make a decision now?” Luke asked, his blue eyes scared. I didn’t blame him. This was all happening so fast. Much faster than our first contract when we became a band. That’s because you’re established now, my brain told me, you’re no longer those punk high school dropouts from Sydney. Hey! I didn’t drop out... These are your thoughts. Focus!

Shay shook her head. “No, not at all. Please feel free to take the time to look everything over. Let me know if you have any questions, or need me to adjust certain aspects. I don’t need a decision from 5SOS until the end of November. And even then, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Mr. Hood, I don’t really care if you take the offer or not.”

“Wow, you sure are confident in yourself,” Calum scoffed. 

“I know what my company is capable of Mr. Hood. I know we can do better for your band than what you’ve been getting. Which isn’t bad, by the way, it’s just child’s play, and you’re men now. You have been for a while. I’m open to working with 5SOS to ensure the band gets the best management possible. Whether or not you choose to take me as seriously as I’m willing to take your band, that’s on you.”

“And this isn’t some ploy? Cal said that you might be using Ash to get at us,” Luke put in.

Shay rolled her eyes, clearly sick of the back and forth she was having both with herself and with the rest of the world about our forming relationship. “Could you excuse me for a minute?” she asked, a smile on her face that I didn’t like the look of. She didn’t wait for an answer as she turned on her heel. We watched her go and I watched as another worker’s eyes went wide as she nodded her head wildly. Some words were exchanged and then Raz came out of her office looking frazzled for a brief second before following Shay back to us.

Shay didn’t say a word as she quickly gathered up the red folders and promptly shredded them. “I am good at my job. I earned everything I have with my brain, not with what’s between my legs,” she spoke, her tone sharp as she continued shredding folder after folder while we watched her in horror. She looked down at the shredder as she pushed the last folder through it with a blank expression. “Pity. That was some of my best work, too. I’ll leave you in the hands of the professional, now, gentlemen,” she said with a look towards Calum and Raz specifically. It was a terrifying look, eerily calm with a cutting look. “Enjoy the rest of your stay,” she added before strolling back out of the office.

Again, I watched her go, completely stunned. What was that quote? Though she be but little, she is fierce? Yeah, that was it. Quotes like that were made about women like Shay.

~~~

“So, is it safe to assume you like rock music?” I asked, leaning my arms on the table as I looked at her. 

She smiled over her cup at me. “Yeah, that’s a pretty safe assumption.”

I giggled. “Well, do you only listen to rock, or do you listen to other music?”

“I listen to other music. I enjoy rock music, obviously. I manage rock bands so of course I like rock music. But given the choice, I listen to country.”

“Country?” I asked my eyes going wide. 

She laughed. “Yeah. Makes me feel close to my dad.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” she laughed again. “My dad’s alive, Fletch. But, my parents are divorced. So, mom raised us on 80s rock and 90s grunge. And dad raised us on country.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said again, not sure what else to say. 

She smiled and reached for my hand. “Don’t be. My parents split when I was too young to understand.”

“That still sucks, Shay…” With my own dad not being in the picture and a slew of stepdads in his wake, father issues were not something I was blind to. 

She squeezed my hand and continued to smile. “No, it doesn’t. It would suck more if they had stayed unhappy together. My mom had primary custody, but we saw my dad plenty. I have healthy relationships with both my parents, and they have a healthy relationship with each other.”

“You keep saying ‘we.’ Do you have siblings?”

She nodded. “I have one. Well 3, actually, I guess. My older brother. And then a stepbrother and stepsister. Also both older.”

“And the step siblings?”

“One from each stepmom.”

“You have 2 stepmoms?”

She laughed. “Yeah, Mom’s a lesbian. Probably why she was so unhappy with my dad. That, and they were young when they had my brother and me.”

I laughed with her. “Your family dynamics are weird.”

She continued to laugh. “Oh, it gets weirder, trust me. But, there’s plenty of love, which is the important part.”

“So, you’re the baby, huh?”

“Guilty as charged. But, I act older. Or, at least I’ve been asked if I was the older sibling before.”

I chuckled, “I don’t really buy into that birth order nonsense.”

“Neither do I, Fletch, neither do I.”

“You know, you keep calling me that, and it’s really not fair. I don’t even know your middle name.”

“Oh, you do.”

“I do?”

She nodded, a devilish smile on her lips. “Shannon’s my middle name.”

“Well, what’s your first name?”

“Bridget.”

“Oh, so you’re like Irish-Irish,” I teased. 

She just laughed. “Yeah, my name’s an Irish trainwreck.”

“So, when did you start going by your middle name?”

“When I moved to New York.”

“Oh shit, really? Where are you from originally?”

“LA,” she smiled. 

“You gave up LA for New York? Why?”

“Change of pace. Job opportunity. Law school. Take your pick,” she shrugged, leaning way back in her seat and crossing her arms. 

“Did I say something to upset you?”

“No. You’re just asking a lot of questions.”

“I’m trying to get to know you,” I laughed. How did a woman as smart as her not know how dating worked?

“Oh,” she said, uncrossing her arms. “Sorry. I’m not used to talking about myself much.”

“I can tell,” I smiled. She had alluded in our phone call this morning to have been hurt in the past. I wondered if this, along with her hesitation to ask me to slow down last night, was part of that hurt. It both broke my heart and angered me that someone would make her make her doubt herself in any way. But if someone loved her right, she wouldn’t be on a date with you, my brain told me. True. Their loss. My gain. “Must’ve been a hell of a job offer to trade one coast for the other.”

She shrugged, but it was less closed off than her first shrug. “I spent the summer before my last year of college interning at a law firm here in Manhattan. I liked it. They liked me. They offered me a job. I said I live in LA and have a year of school left. They said that was what computers were for. So, when I applied to law schools, I applied out here because that’s where my job was.”

“What caused you to take an internship in New York, anyway? I’m assuming you grew up in LA, went to school there and whatnot. I mean, New York is great and all. But LA is… well it’s LA. That was home, right?”

She nodded. “Yeah. But, uh, I was ready to expand my horizons a bit. And I had a boyfriend who supported it. Or so I thought.”

There is was. The damaging ex-boyfriend “What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, my ex was a sweetheart. He was the one who encouraged me to take the internship in the first place. I’ve always loved New York, but never had the chance to go. So, he was like ‘well here’s your chance, take it.’ So, I did. And it was great. And then I realized he said ‘your chance’ not ‘our chance.’” She shrugged again. 

I frowned. That didn’t sound damaging. He sounded… well to steal her words, like a sweetheart. “That’s rough, but, at least he didn’t hold you back.”

She offered me a sad smile as her mind took her backwards through the years. “Yeah, he was always good about that. Part of what made it all so hard, if I’m being honest. We were both making plans for a better life. I just thought it was for us together, not individually.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry,” I said, covering her hands in mine. Who wouldn’t want a life with her?

The sadness left her smile. “That’s the third time you apologized for something that 1.) isn’t your fault and 2.) I moved on from long ago.”

“It’s called sympathy, babes.”

~Shay

May 2020~

“Fletch!” I greeted happily, pulling him in for a hug.

His arms wrapped around me and his head dipped down to burrow into my neck. “Missed you,” he mumbled against my skin.

“Missed you too,” I smiled, running my fingers through his ink-black hair. “How long do I get you?”

“All week. The guys fly in Thursday, and then we all fly out Friday afternoon,” he told me, lifting up his head.

“I get you all to myself for a whole week? Wow, lucky me.”

“Lucky you? Lucky me. Now, get in here,” he said, tugging me into his hotel room.

~~~

Tag List (Leave a message at the beep)

@goeatsomelife @flameraine @cashtonasff5sos @here-for-the-uproars @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @baldcalum @sparkling-chaos @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession

[nadziejastar]

Day 8: Roxas

Author: Axel

Today's mission was to show Roxas the ropes. I feel like they've had me babysitting him since he got here. He's not a bad kid, but he's spacey. Good fighter, though. At least I won't be bored.

Yeah, what the heck? To be honest, for most of the years I played the KH games, I did so on my own. I didn’t really go online or read fan opinions. When I actually did read the fandom opinions, I was surprised to see a lot of the views people had. I couldn’t understand how certain popular viewpoints came about. They were just downright bizarre to me. Like the opinion that Roxas and Ventus and Xion and Kairi were always supposed to coexist. Or “Axel the babysitter”. I hate that characterization of him. It’s so cringey.

Roxas: What? Why am I a slap on the wrist!?

Axel: Well, they just know how much I loathe babysitting...

Like, I don’t know where people got the idea that hanging out with two kids all day would fulfill him. Going by the fandom, you’d think that as soon as Axel met Roxas and Xion, he found true happiness with his inseparable best friends™. All he needed was his two "precious cinnamon rolls" to protect, and he’s totally content. Yuck. Axel would be humiliated and throw up at that portrayal.

“Watch this!” Axel threw a dart at the board.

“Hey! We have to investigate.”

“C’mon, it’s just a couple darts.” Axel tossed one more, which neatly struck the bull’s-eye.

Axel was very fond of them, but he did not like babysitting. He took on that role in spite of himself, for THEIR sake, because there was no one else to look out for them. It didn’t come naturally to him and he seemed a bit suffocated by it at times. He was also very lonely. "Babysitter” wouldn’t be his ideal lifestyle if he had other options. He lost his childhood and felt a lot of empathy for vulnerable kids. But he wanted to be a kid again, not take care of kids. 

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It's a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don't feel like it anymore.

He desperately wanted to talk to someone who was his peer; his equal. He wanted to share his memories of the past with Saïx (well, probably Isa to be more precise). He couldn’t truly relate to Roxas or Xion. He barely told them anything about himself. He longed to confide in someone about his TRUE feelings instead of having to lie all the time. He was never happy to just be a mentor. It’s a big reason why I was so turned off by KH3 making Roxas and Xion seem SOOO much more important to Lea than Isa was. It seemed like in KH3 he left his past in Radiant Garden behind him. Nothing about his life before becoming a Nobody mattered much anymore. All he needed was Roxas and Xion in his life. It’s just plain weird and kinda creepy. And not very realistic, either. Axel was a strong independent woman man. He was his OWN person and had his own identity long before he met Roxas and Xion. Why didn’t we get to see how he felt about his real home? He did NOT see Twilight Town as his home.

Day 75: Inseparable

Axel told us best friends can be inseparable even if they're not always together, but it sounded like he wasn't too sure about it himself. I thought Axel knew everything. Oh well...

Day 171: What's Love?

On my mission at Beast's Castle, Xaldin told me about "love" and the special power it has over people. I tried to ask Axel about it, but his explanation didn't make any sense to me. Every time I ask him about this kind of thing, he tells me I need a heart to understand. It's like he's dodging the questions.

Roxas thought Axel knew everything about life, but the only things he had trouble explaining were “best friends” and “love”, lol. Honestly, I was always FAR more interested in learning about Axel’s past than his relationship with Roxas and Xion, which was kind of shallow, to be honest. Axel never talked about himself with them. Their relationship was pretty surface-level in many ways. Axel was close to them, but at the same time very distant from them. Which I liked! It was more realistic that way and I wouldn’t change it. Real life is complicated. But I wanted to learn about who LEA was, not have his character forever stagnate in the sea-salt trio, where he's stuck as “Axel the Mr. Rogers babysitter” figure. Gross. That’s not who he really is. That’s not going to make him happy.

Day 14: This Kid?

Author: Axel

Another mission with Roxas today. Is he seriously my responsibility? At least he's starting to talk like a normal person. Maybe that means his memory's coming back. Still, this kid's supposed to be the Keyblade master's Nobody? I don't see it.

Why was Axel tasked with looking out for Roxas in the first place? This is something Xemnas asked of him on the day Roxas joined. Probably because Lea was worried about Isa, and tried to take care of him during the experiments. Xemnas knew that out of all the members, he had empathy for vulnerable kids in bad situations, due to his past trauma as a kid. That doesn’t mean he wanted to be a nanny for the rest of his life, though.

Looking out for other people when I can’t even take care of myself—this isn’t like me at all.

I don’t understand fanon Axel or KH3 Axel. He needed someone he could actually have a grown up conversation with, and Roxas and Xion didn’t offer him that. I understand the rage against Isa even less. How did people not understand that Isa was not Saïx? It really didn’t take a genius to see where they were going with a character like Isa. Nobody had a hard time seeing that Terra was not Xemnas. He even had all of Terra’s memories, and called Aqua’s armor a “friend”. The only difference was that Saïx didn’t know he was a Nort. Well, I guess a lot of people intentionally vilified Isa because they saw him as a threat to the sea-salt trio and Axel’s role as the babysitter? God, that’s weird...

Isa: From where I stood, the only thing you drew was a big L on your forehead for "Loser"..."Lame," "Laughable"...

Lea: Wha-- Isn't this the part where ya...cheer me up or somethin'? "You're just havin' a bad day." or..."That's what you get for pullin' your punches!" Some friend.

Isa: Oh, you mean I was supposed to lie.

Lea: Ya see what I gotta put up with? Sure hope you don't have friends like him.

Like, I’ve seen some people really overreact to this scene and it blew my mind. Someone I talked to said that they had no idea why Lea was even friends with Isa. I was so confused by that. Isa was a bad friend because he used playful banter? I’m like, do these people not tease their friends, WTF? Lea liked it when Isa roasted him. They were just playing around. Some people prefer that type of banter. It’s common flirtatious behavior, too. Lea needed to be around someone who could tease him.

“…Aw, is it good?” Axel teased. “Seriously, you’re like a little kid. Even though you look like a mean old man.”

Riku made no response, keeping his gaze fixed on the computer screen. The comment did rub him the wrong way. But mentally, Axel was definitely older than him by at least a little. Not that you could tell from looking.

Guess Axel didn’t deserve to be redeemed, either. Look how evil he was to Riku! Truth is, Axel was holding back his real sense of humor with Roxas and Xion because they were so innocent. If fans got the impression that Axel was just as sweet as Roxas and Xion and that he wanted the same things they did out of his friendships, they were wrong. 

Xion: Heh heh... Thanks, Axel. You're sweet.

You can just see him cringe when Xion called him “sweet”. Like, ew don’t call me that. You don’t know me that well. I kill people for a living. Of course he would never tell her that, but you could tell he felt awkward and uncomfortable.

Isa: I know I won't forget you. Believe me, I try all the time.

But you can just see how much he was beaming with delight when Isa playfully insulted him. He was definitely more comfortable with Isa’s way of showing affection. Isa didn’t seem like a bad friend to me at all. He seemed like the perfect best friend for him. He offered Lea the type of communication he truly longed for.

[chase-eternally-young-blog]

10 FAVORITE CHARACTERS

rules: name 10 of your favorite characters from different fandoms, then tag others!

( in no particular order )

Chase Young from Xiaolin Showdown. I mean--- if he wasn’t on this list I’d be concerned. He’s so good at being bad.... Awakened an attraction to beasts (one of the main contributors for me being a furry)... His snarkiness is adorably funny. Also Xiaolin Chronicles did him dirty and I feel obligated to make people love Chase for who he REALLY is ya know.

Literally every boy in the Dangan Ronpa series. I’m a huge slut for the Dangan Ronpa art style and all the boys are just sO ATTRACTIVE. If it wouldn’t overwhelm me, I would 100% make a multimuse Dangan Ronpa RP blog.

Genji and Kabuki from Animal Crossing. My all-time favorite villagers. One time Genji moved out of my village so I made a new game and kept resetting until he wound up being one of my starting villagers. lmao,,,,

Lúcio from Overwatch! Total boyfriend material. I don’t main him but god I love him so much, more as a character than someone to play as. I’ve got a bunch of Lúcio figures in my windowsill pfft. 

Charizard from Pokémon. My absolute favorite Pokémon. I have so much Charizard merch in my dorm room, my roommate thought I was a little crazy when we first met. (we’re like best friends now tho it’s okay) In every single game I own, I always hunt for a female shiny Charmander and name her Amber!! She’s like the Pikachu to my Ash!!! It started out as a silly OC thing when I was like 12 but... it’s really stuck with me. That’s why my username on a lot of accounts is Amberzard!! Its mah girl. 

Tweek from South Park. Okay so I have like really strong motherly instincts and love babying people.... I just-- really want to baby this sweet boy. He’s so vulnerable I can’t help but love him.

Princess Cadence from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Magical alicorn princess of love? Man I wish that were me. I really love the idea of having love magic and oof I just really like her design and personality. I know a lot of people write her off as a Mary Sue but damn. I love her. 

Beast Boy from Teen Titans. Yet another reminder that I’m a filthy furry. One of my earliest cartoon crushes and I still love him to bits. Heck I loved him in Young Justice too...  I remember being super jealous of Terra when she appeared in the show lmaooo. Don’t look at me;;;;;

Wally West/Kid Flash from Young Justice. Don’t even talk to me about this boy I’m still not okay. I love him to bits but thE PAIN IS TOO MUCH.

Shoto Todoroki from My Hero Academia. I haven’t seen a single episode of MHA but I love him. 

Tagged By: @mechanicosmia Tagging: take it if you wanna!

[kaysealarkmain]

Moving On

Terra rolled her eyes, ignoring his smile and her conscious. She should really be home in bed. She shouldn’t be here. Of course, she was being a good friend, maybe a good sister? They were like family and they did save the world together at one point in their lives. Being on a team was one way to force bonding on a group of people.

“This is the last time,” she muttered to herself. “Cuz it’s all Cooper after this.”

You should do what’s best, echoed in her thoughts. But it’ll be the last time. You just have to pick up the idiot who called you right before you hopped into bed. Terra couldn’t believe there was a time when she found this endearing — like she was the only one James could depend on. She was the one person who could help him out when he was in a pinch. Now, this was just annoying. She wanted to go to bed and get ready for work the next day.

She rolled her wheel to the right. She could see James from the other end of the street even though her headlights and the street lamps were the only things that allowed visibility. She drove up to the man standing on the pavement. His thin pair of boxers was the only thing protecting him from the cool whispers of the night. His garments were collected in his arms, but spilled as he bent down to her while she rolled down her window. His jeans and shoes dropped from the pile. Their eyes followed, but eventually their gazes met again. The girl gave a blank stare and he responded with a grin.

Terra rolled her eyes, ignoring his smile and her conscious. She should really be home in bed. She shouldn’t be here. Of course, she was being a good friend, maybe a good sister? They were like family and they did save the world together at one point in their lives. Being on a team was one way to force bonding on a group of people.

“You’re not going to say bye to your lady friend?” she teased him.

“Well, you know the drill.” His laugh rolled off his tongue.

“Get in,” she shook her head.

He laughed, “You’re my hero, Terra.” He looked down at her again, his eyes fixated at her top. “What are you wearing?” He figured she would be frozen from the frigid late night air if it wasn’t for the oversized gray jacket. James swore that he saw that jacket somewhere before — on someone else before, someone male.

“Got a problem with my pajamas?” playful anger in her voice. “You’re the one who called saying it was an emergency”

“Were you really sleeping?” James slipped into the passenger seat. “OR were you up building some fancy cellphone app?” he finished as slammed the door closed.

“Shut up.”

“Oooohhhh,” he slipped his white long sleeve over his shoulders. “1 for James.”

“1,000 for Terra,” she retorted. “Guess who saved your ass from one night stands countless times?”

“Yeah? We’re going there?” he scoffed. “Should I count every zombie that I shot down before you infected their computers with viruses? CUZ OH YEAH THAT’S 50–80 GILLION.” He moved towards her, crossing into her space.

“Stop,” she planted her palm on James’s face and pushed him back to his area. “You’re an idiot,” she smiled.

The drive was like previous saving acts. He would recall his encounter while changing into his garments and she would pretend to listen. This time it wasn’t hard for her to keep her eyes on the road and off his well-toned arms or giggle at the sight of his washboard abs. Terra didn’t have to hide the look of seething disgust for the women he attempted to pleasure that night. She barely listened to him as he laughed at his own pick-up lines. This time, Terra was fighting the gnawing felling in her gut.

“Hey!” he yelled. Damn, he was always so loud, even back then. “Are you even listening?”

“Oh, no.”

“TERRA, IT WAS IMPORTANT.” He was always a little too dramatic too.

“But, we’re here.” She put her car in park.

“Awesome! I can’t wait to play video games!“ he reached for the door handle. “Wait!-“ James quickly circled back to her. “Why are we at my place?”

She scratched her head focusing her attention on the roof of her car. Terra wouldn’t dare to look at him. One look of his pout and she would answer any of his appeals.

“Teeeeerrrrrr-raaaaaaaaaaaa,” he whined.

Terra cleared her throat, but not the feeling in her chest.

“Well,” she had to phrase this carefully before she offended him. “I’m tired.”

“But we ALWAYS go to your place after this.”

“Ummm…” she turned to her window.

“Come on. We should catch up. I haven’t seen you for a long time. When was the last time we had a one-on-one like this? Was it like a month ago?”

“This is the last time…” It didn’t come off as strong as she wanted it to.

“What the fuck?” His response was abrupt. “Is it because of that prick?”

“Coop isn’t a-“

“Coop? Since when did you- Is it because you’re dating?”

“No…” Dammit, I’m getting nervous. She didn’t know why James scared her when he raised his voice in a threatening way. Maybe it was because Terra only knew him as the jokester on the team. He lightened the mood when they were all feeling down.

“Well, it’s just that, you know, Harry always called him that and it sort of stuck.”

“Are you serious? I saved the world and-“

“Get out.”

James was taken aback. Terra never yelled at him like this in the 18 years that he knew her. His heart sank when he saw her white knuckles on the wheel. He reached out to them only to be interrupted again.

“Get out.” It was louder and darker.

“Hey, I’m-“ he paused trying to reword his apology. James never had the pride to take the blame for something, especially when it was his fault. “I just hate that I’m your #2 now.”

Terra yelled some curse words before getting out of her seat and slamming her door. His gaze followed her as she made her way around her car. It had been years since he took a good look at her. She was once the tiny framed, flat chested tech wizard, who he always got a knack for teasing her for her teenage crush on him. Well, she didn’t really have a choice. He was the most handsome one of their super team, if he had to say so himself. Terra didn’t really grow in the chest department, but she made up for her womanly qualities with smarts, kindness, and wit.

Terra pried open his door. “Get. Out. Now.”

James looked at her hand on the top of the door window. His eyes continued to analyze his longtime friend until they landed on the sliver band on her finger. He swallowed the regret that swelled in his throat. Heh. She always liked it simple, didn’t she? Sorrow filled the blue of his eyes. He sighed and finally complied. The man did his best to smile but they both knew he couldn’t hide the tormented storm stirring beneath the surface.

“You know, you could have waited.”

Fire ignited in her eyes as her brow furrowed. “You know, you weren’t the only one who saved the world and didn’t get what they wanted. Not everything can be handed to you just ‘cuz you saved the world 12 years ago!”

“Are you kidding me?! Harry got a full ride to Brown and ended up finding the cure to like 20 diseases! You got to study in Japan and became a tech queen!! You’re the female Steve Jobs. Cooper got-“

“Cooper got what? Cooper got to be a Senator after opening an organization dedicated to fighting those zombies we risked our teen lives fighting.”

“Cooper got you.”

Terra undid the tight grip in her fists. She saw the tears brimming in his eyes. She only saw him cry twice in her life. The first time it was because she snuck around their base and found his secret spot. He missed his family and couldn’t handle the responsibility of saving millions of lives. The second time was when he was reunited with them for the first time ever. Both times she panicked and rushed over to hug him.

“What about me? I just work at the bar, get drunk, and sleep with any chick that recognizes my accomplishments from back then.”

She hated it when he got emotional. Terra once found it endearing, brave even. She could never let herself break in front of their teammates. James was always the one who managed to remind everyone they were only human. Sure, he was a flirt, but that made her fall in love back then.

Terra took a deep breath to restructure her thoughts. “James, you made your own choices.” She looked up to him. “We can’t live in the past anymore.”

“Then why did you move faster than me?”

“What Cooper and I have is not your business.”

They were quiet.

“This is the last time.” She closed the passenger door. “Good night, James.”

“When did it happen?” he gestured to her hand.

“Oh!” She hid her hand behind her back. “It actually didn’t happen yet. You know Coop can’t hide anything. He said I could wear it since I already found it.” She giggled to herself reminiscing the look of surprise and embarrassment when she found it under a pile of his campaign documents, which he asked her to review. “We’ll probably announce it officially after he tells my parents next weekend.”

He hated it. He used to be the reason for the blush across her cheeks or her bunching the ends of her jacket in her hands. Cooper, his longtime rival, was the reason she endearingly rambled.

“Don’t forget to invite me to the wedding.”

“Of course,” she grinned from ear to ear.

They waved final goodbyes and he watched her drive away.

[nadziejastar]

“It’s okay—go! I’ll catch up.” Naminé nodded and jumped into the gateway.

“So you’re trying to play the hero now, too?” Saïx said flatly, staring hard at Axel.

I see what you mean. Reno did become reduced to just comic relief, in an exaggerated way, too. They are very similar, although I think Axel had his dark backstory hinted at more often. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it was about Axel/Lea’s arc that felt the most unsatisfying, and for me it comes down to this. I like that he was a humorous character. Lea was a funny kid. I don’t mind that he felt less dangerous after he became a good guy. I liked seeing the side of him that was just a normal person. And his friendship with Roxas and Xion was cute, but they were always the special ones. That was their purpose. They were special Nobodies. Axel was the always ordinary one in their group. He knew he wasn’t the strongest fighter, but he still wanted to feel special in some way. 

And I feel that’s what his arc was missing in the end. Especially as a main character who awakened a Keyblade. He wanted to be a hero. “Dark Rescue” was his middle name. Got it memorized? But in the final battle, he got pushed into the background and Roxas and Xion had to step in and be the heroes. Within the sea-salt trio, I feel like he’ll always be stuck as just the comic relief. Roxas and Xion fans want them to be the heroes. Axel always gets overshadowed by them. When Saïx ran into Axel and he was protecting Naminé, he was really angry that he was trying to “play the hero” now, too. As if that’s something he used to do a lot.

“Hmph. I don’t have time for these games.” Darkness welled from a rift behind Saïx. “Run along and help your dear hero.” With that, he disappeared.

He calls Axel a “dear hero” later. I think that’s because Isa was the person who Lea would always try to act like the hero with. Which is another reason I loved what Isa would have contributed to Lea’s character arc. Roxas was a strong fighter and competitive. He wanted to be a hero himself. Ventus was supposed to be Terra’s hero. Isa didn’t seem competitive or like he wanted to be a hero. He probably always felt Lea was special because he could connect with others and instantly become friends with them, while Isa was shy and could only open up with Lea. I got the sense that Lea liked to show off for him, and Isa felt safe with him in a way he didn’t with anyone else. And that made Lea feel special. It’s his own special identity he could only get outside of the sea-salt trio. 

“You’re not as tough as you seem.” Riku laughed softly.

Axel scowled and closed his eyes. “Not everyone in the organization is as strong as Roxas,” he mumbled.

Roxas and Axel both had a desire to be tough. And when it came to pure fighting skill Ventus/Roxas would win. But Lea still had a need to be seen as tough and dependable. That’s what made him happy.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, too. Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saïx’s back.

“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?” Ignoring Axel’s words, Saïx continued typing on the keyboard.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saïx finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. Cause I’m tough.” Axel puffed out his chest.

“How stupid,” said Saïx, and for a moment he smiled.

When Axel thought it might be the last time he ever saw Saïx, he chose to brag to him that he was tough. And Saïx smiled a little. It gave me the impression that Lea would try to impress Isa when they were human. He might not have been the toughest person, but he was still able to make Isa feel safe.

“Yo! Roxas. You haven’t changed! Fight fight fiiight!” Roxas turned, and standing there was… Axel.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Axel walked casually towards him. “What’s the matter? You look kind of dazed there,” grinned Axel, and he laughed, just like always.

“…They said all the members who went to Castle Oblivion got annihilated…”

Axel stuck out his chest. “Well, I’m pretty tough.”

I feel weird, somehow. But I know. Axel probably… isn’t really as strong as he says. “…I was worried, okay.”

When Axel came back from Castle Oblivion, he said he was tough. Roxas was really glad that he was okay, but he knew Axel was not as tough as he says he is. He likes showing off and talking big.

Axel flopped down into his own bed, and stared at the ceiling.

“What happened to the report?” Saïx had appeared there. Axel sat up, and looked at him.

“Not even a word of slight appreciation?”

“I’ve heard that Naminé’s whereabouts have become unclear,” said Saïx, not showing any sign that he had paid any attention to Axel’s teasing words.

When Axel talked to Saïx, there were two things he was concerned about. He tried to joke around these issues, but you could tell they were serious matters for him. The first was that Saïx didn’t thank him or show any words of appreciation.

And yet, Axel couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his response. “Well, nice to know where I stand.”

He said it with a grin, but the hint of a frown tugged at the scar between Saïx’s brows. Apparently, the joke wasn’t very funny. “You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

“You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood.

The other was that Saïx didn’t act like he was worried about him while he was gone. I think Axel’s joke about being tough was associated with a time in the past when Isa was worried about him, and when he was really grateful to Lea and made him feel like a hero. He’s upset about these two issues, because as a human, Isa was worried about him, and was grateful to him for his help.

“I’ll go to Agrabah. Then there’s no problem, right?” Axel’s voice was a little deeper.

“Can you really defeat the Heartless in Agrabah?”

“It’ll be fine. I’m tough, you know.”

“But, you can’t collect its—”

“I’ll just keep the thing in check for now,” Axel interrupted.

He used the “I’m tough” line again when he was trying to cover for Roxas and Xion.

“Your performance was quite forced,” Saïx muttered, noticing Axel’s gazing at him.

“What is this about?” asked Axel, cracking his neck.

“I’m not all that impressed.”

Sensing an incoming lecture, Axel started walking away. “Well, I’m off to Agrabah. I’ll be back.” His figure vanished into a corridor.

And Saïx coldly shut him down. Instead of joking around and finding his bragging endearing, he basically told Axel that he was a loser and he wasn’t impressed by him at all. It seemed to really hurt Axel’s feelings.

“How was your mission?” he asked. Axel frowned unconsciously.

“Why the hell do Heartless have to move around so annoyingly, you know? Got my ass kicked. Literally,” he added, rubbing the sore spot in a slightly exaggerated manner.

“Didn’t you say you were tough?” said Roxas, laughing.

Axel shrugged, winking. “This and that are two different things. Hey, how did your mission go?”

Roxas turned to Xion. “Ta-dah!” he announced, and Xion made the Keyblade appear in her hand.

“Oh—”

“It’s all thanks to you and Roxas.” The Keyblade disappeared as Xion smiled.

He was in a really depressed mood that day. He got his butt kicked. Roxas jokingly brought up Axel bragging he was tough and he admitted that those are two different things, with a wink. He was apparently referencing some event from the past with Saïx. Roxas and Xion were extremely grateful to Axel. But he couldn’t feel happy about it at all.

“It’s all thanks to you and Roxas.” The Keyblade disappeared as Xion smiled.

“I didn’t do anything,” said Axel, a wry smile pasting itself on his face.

“You made it so we could go on a mission together this morning, didn’t you?” said Xion, and Axel looked away.

When I’m smiled at with such a happy look… I feel uncomfortable.

“Maybe Xion wouldn’t have been able to make her Keyblade come back, if it weren’t for you, Axel,” Roxas added.

It actually made him really upset. This is what he looked like when they thanked him. He couldn’t even look at them.

“Thank you, Axel,” they said, in unison.

This is why… this feeling is so hazy. Scratching his head unconsciously, Axel looked away from the two of them.

“Then how about a sea salt ice cream?” Axel asked, his back still turned.

“Huh?” Roxas asked.

This was Axel compromising, grudgingly. Don’t think I can take any more of those thank-yous.

He hated being smiled at with a happy expression and being showered with thank-yous. It was because the feeling was hazy for him. He asked for ice cream to get them to stop. Although Lea was not the strongest person, he was probably very protective of Isa, and it seems like he helped him out of a bad situation in the past. Probably got his butt kicked in the process. But Isa was extremely worried about him and grateful to him. And it made Lea really happy. It’s probably why on this day he said that as long as he had memories, he’d never have to be apart. In the end, Lea needed some way to stand out and be special. Someone who he was able to become the hero for. That’s what was taken away from him in KH3 and why his character arc fell so flat.

[renwritesstuff]

The Interview (work in progress)

Posted with permission from @fishbone76​, this is the start of a gift/trade fic I’m writing for her in exchange for my new rad Shaynor iPhone wallpaper. Here’s the introduction so far:

“…No.”

“Please?”

“No.” Samantha Traynor crossed her arms, stopping her work at the galaxy map console. She shook her head for emphasis, black hair sweeping across her nose.

“Come onnnn,” Diana Allers coaxed, drawing out that last word with a slight whine. “Cortez, Daniels and Copeland all agreed. I’m just missing my favorite Comms Specialist.”

“I think you mean the ‘only Comms Specialist that can stand you,’ Allers.”

“Same thing! That’s why you’re my favorite!” The reporter leaned in close to touch Sam’s elbow. “Come on, Traynor. I won’t bite. …Hard.” Diana’s voice was husky with promise.

Sam jerked her elbow away. “Lies don’t become you, Allers. I’ve seen your segments grilling the Commander about her calls. If that’s how you treat the lady responsible for covering our arses, God knows how you’ll treat me—us.”

The thought of Diana digging into Steve’s past in particular made Sam’s jaw clench. That man has been through enough, losing his husband to the Collectors.

Maybe I should go just to protect that sweetheart from the mean ol’ reporter.

Sidling between Samantha and her console, Diana clasped her hands pleadingly. “I promise I’ll behave. This isn’t gonna be some exposé on your sordid—or otherwise—personal lives.” Allers winked.

Sam narrowed her eyes at the woman. “Or Shepard’s?”

“Or Shepard’s,” Allers confirmed. “And that is saying something about my journalistic integrity, because I am dying for details on yours and Jane’s… ‘extracurriculars.’” Her fingers curled in air-quotes.

Cheeks reddening, Sam cleared her throat awkwardly.

Walked into that one, Traynor.

“Look, my editor challenged me to shine a light on the Normandy crew for my next Battlespace piece. Humanize you all a little, so the rest of the Alliance doesn’t feel like their contributions don’t matter unless they’re Commander fucking Shepard, super SpecTRe.” It was Allers’ turn to cross her arms, a thoughtful smile on her lips. “Please, Sam. We need all the morale we can spare. The war isn’t going well.”

Sam chewed her cheek, still skeptical. But she could feel her resolve weakening.

Damn that reporter and her occasional glimmer of human decency.

Diana continued, “What would you say to dinner and drinks at Purgatory, then? On the ANN’s dime? I’ve got a hefty per diem burning a hole in my pocket.” She fished a credit chit out of her dress jacket pocket to wave seductively at Sam.

“Resorting to bribery? That’s low, Allers.”

“’Bribery’ is such a dirty word, Traynor. The ANN prefers ‘compensation for credible sources.’ Quid pro quo. You scratch my back, I fill yours with booze and bar food.” The reporter paused. “…come on. Copeland agreed. Copeland. And he still hasn’t forgiven me for that Terra Nova piece. You gotta come.”

Samantha let the awkward silence build for a few seconds before an acquiescing sigh.

Making a victorious fist-pump motion, Allers immediately fired up her Omni-tool. “Yes! Meet me at the bar at 1930. I should be done with Cortez by then. I’m trying to stagger the one-on-ones, then have a group interview around 2100.”

Sam immediately regretted her decision as she felt a ping to her wrist. A navpoint paired with a calendar reminder popped up on the holo-screen. “Wait! I didn’t actually say I’d—!”

But Allers had already breezed past in large strides toward the bow docking hatch. Her camera drone floated behind her dutifully. “Thanks again, Traynor! You’re a doll! And try to dress up a little. Who knows, if you play your cards right you might end up with a fan following! An embassy secretary got her own reality show after a piece I did on her. Married a famous bioti-ball pitcher. …Trashiest social network feed I’ve ever seen, and I’m networked to that Westerlund clown, Al-Jilani. …See you tonight, Sam!”

“Fan following?” Sam thought as she watched the woman disappear around the corner out to the Citadel Docking Bay. The thought of becoming Famous did elicit a giddy feeling in Sam’s chest.

…Whoa there, Traynor. If you want to be famous right now, just tell everyone you’re dating Commander Jane Shepard. All you have to do is sell out the love of your life to the news media for a few credits and endorsements. In the middle of a galaxy-wide war.

She scowled at herself for that shitty, childish thought.

Never in a million years.

Then you’ll have to settle for giving Allers a couple feel-good soundbytes about how essential data analytics are to the war effort.

Her nose wrinkled a little less. That’s right. If not for comms specialists like me, we never would have saved Grissom Academy or tracked Kai Leng to Horizon.

That’ll have them lining up at the recruitment centres for sure, Traynor.

Finishing up a real-time data lag assessment for the Normandy’s next set of missions, Sam leaned backward in a luxurious stretch. She felt a few satisfying pops in her lower spine.

She fired up her Omni-tool to check the time. 15:48:55 GST. Just enough time to hit the showers and smooth out the wrinkles in her dress blues.

The Purgatory club was calmer than usual. The bar on the left side was always open (of course), but absent was the usual revolving clientele of dancing civilians and rowdy servicemen/women. Thrumming house music in the speakers was at a surprisingly bearable decibel for a change, too.

Skimming the upper balconies, Samantha spotted the reason for the change. Aria T’Loak, the ruler of Omega, was deep in conversation with a semicircle of trusted underlings. A holo schematic of Omega was visible between the shoulders of stern human, batarian and krogan mercenaries. It looked like the asari was finalizing her preparations to remove the Cerberus forces occupying the chunk of rock she called home.

A familiar, scowling bodyguard was posted at the upper stairwell, his four black eyes shifting from the reporter at the bar over to Sam herself. Adjusting her dress jacket, Sam flashed an innocent smile as she cut a wide berth away from the batarian towards the bar.

The sound of laughter grew louder as Sam approached a seated Steve Cortez and a standing Diana Allers at the bar. Floating behind Diana, her camera drone focused on Steve who was finishing off a frosty beer.

“—pard is still one of the worst Mako pilots I’ve ever seen. And Vega has crashed a Kodiak into Mars. That’s how low that bar is, and Shepard is still worse,” he chuckled while Diana wiped away a mirthful tear.

Allers tapped at her Omni-tool, still giggling. “Oh thank God I recorded all of that. I need to find the perfect segment to showcase ‘Commander Jane Shepard: Humanity’s Best Hope While Also Humanity’s Worst Pilot.’ My ratings will be legendary.“

Cortez raised his glass at Sam as she tiptoed up behind the reporter to take a look at her Omni-tool, currently playing back the end of Copeland’s interview and the beginning of Steve’s. Even the grumpy Ensign seemed relaxed, though Samantha suspected the shot glass in his hand was credited for that feat.

Samantha hissed in Diana’s ear as she flicked the woman’s shoulder. “Ohhhh, I see your game, Allers. Get everyone good and legless on plonk, and then film the results. Bloody despicable you are.”

Mumbling under her breath something about “Jesus Christ you’re so British,” Diana shot a glare over her shoulder at the Comms Specialist. “It’s just to grease the wheels a little, Traynor. Plus, it’s a magical learning experience. Gabby prefers wine, Copeland just throws back shots, and Cortez here is a pilsner man. I’m dying to know what your poison of choice is. I’m guessing… cheap vodka.”

Sam gasped with mock offense. “You slander my honor, madam.”

“Only one way to find out.” The reporter extended a fist and knocked on the counter to flag down the turian bartender, who nodded familiarly at Diana.

He grinned at Sam, rumbling, “Another one? Tab’s still open, Allers. You’re putting my kids through college.”

Still fiddling with her holo-recording, Diana barely looked up. She just stuck a thumb behind her at Sam. “Get this one whatever she wants. And make it a double.”

Samantha tapped her chin, an index of cocktails running through her mind from her Fishbone Pub days back at Oxford. She snapped her fingers when she recalled a favorite (and expensive) concoction: “One Quad Kicker please! All top shelf, hold the curry powder. I’m allergic. I don’t think my ‘date’ would fancy me asphyxiating to death in the middle of our chat.”

“It would be tough to explain to my boss, yes,” Allers agreed as she held her credit chit up to the bartender for another scan. “My ratings would probably go through the roof… until Shepard tossed me out an airlock.”

The turian nodded in confirmation and busied himself with smoothly mixing the requisite ginger ale, bourbon and spiced rum in a chilled highball glass. The drink was slid over to Samantha with a picture-perfect wedge of lime on the side.

Hmph. Show-off.

It was bubbly and sweet and strong, just like Sam remembered as she slid along the counter up to Cortez.

“Good to see you, Traynor,” Steve said warmly as he clinked his beer against Sam’s drink in silent toast. “And not just because I had a bet going with Copeland if you’d show tonight. …I won.”

Those bloody tossers, Samantha scowled before shrugging it off with another sip to her drink.

“…You’re in a good mood, Cortez,” Sam acknowledged with a squeeze to his shoulder.

“I’m good, Sam.”

She squinted skeptically at the pilot.

Cortez just smiled back, thin black scruff framing white teeth. His eyes had a crinkle to them that she hadn’t seen before. “Really. I’m good. I mean it, for once. I’ve been talking it out—with Shepard, of all people—and I said my goodbyes. I finally actually believe that I’ll be okay someday. Okay to move on. It seems possible.”

“I’m glad. I was rather worried about you. …Especially with this vulture stirring up trouble,” Sam said a little louder.

Allers’s eyes never left her Omni-tool, but she did extend her right hand off to the side to shoot Sam a middle finger. “I heard that.”

Cortez drained the last swallow of beer from his glass and stood up to offer Sam his seat. He threw a thumb in Allers’ direction. “She’s all right, too. …Fashion taste is terrible, but her heart is in the right place.” He winked at Sam when Diana squawked an indignant “Hey! Not you too!”

“Any advice?”

“Just dive in and get it over with,” Steve said sagely as he patted Sam’s arm. “Like ripping off a band-aid.”

Diana warned behind them, “Careful with all the shit-talk, Normandiers. I know where you bunk.”