#I love making myself clothes but I also love giving away my handmade objects

[voicelessroyalty]

Crocheted shorts for the first time and made a top to go with them 💕🍁🍂🥰 I’m so happy with how they came out

[tsubaki3192]

Christmas Gifts

[Ikevamp Leonardo x MC/Bee]

@3amheartache, Merry Belated Christmas, and I hope you've had a very Happy New Year! (Psst! I'm your secret santa!)

Notes: Ikevamp Holiday Exchange participation! Also, I did get a little confused with the name thing so please let me know if that was what you wanted!

Tags: @3amheartache @ikevamp-holiday-exchange @tsuki-no-usagiii @unstoppablelinda

-------------

You… Weren’t even sure just how it happened.

One morning, nearly two weeks before the date of Christ’s birth (a fact everyone seemed to forget, though apparently not you, even when considering the fact you weren’t Christian-), you had stepped out of your room in search for the perfect Christmas gifts for everyone when your foot, landed upon a letter at the mansion’s doorway.

Addressed to you, of course.

To be fair, you had near-missed the snow-damp envelope, given the fact it was bleached white and partially hidden under the still-falling ice. But you had caught sight of it nonetheless and brought it back inside with you, leaving it to dry by floor of the fireplace.

And yet when you returned from your daily duties later that evening, another gift had been placed delicately on the now-watermarked surface.

To my beloved, the tag read, followed by your name.

And if anything, you had to smile. It was sweet of him to give you little gifts, though you knew exactly who it was that had left it. Leonardo had always been rather thoughtful of you- But this was something new. Two long years of your relationship had brought you here. Two long years of his sweetness and love.

And that was just the beginning.

Your fingertips held the delicately crafted rose, admiring it’s beauty. You twirled it, watching for all the perfect imperfections that made it unique: Little dents here, missable scratches there…. It was handmade, to say the very least. And yet the thin, crimson-metallic sheets wounded and welded together made for the most everlasting flower while it sat on a more solid stem, golden in colour, with green leaves twisted in between.

And it was just something you utterly adored, especially when you considered the fact that you hadn’t seen him for the last few days.

(Truth to be told, you missed him dearly though you would never give him the liberty of knowing, for he would merely endlessly tease you.)

Even then, a smile had graced your features following that, skipping to your room to read the letter in peace.

---------------------------------------

The following week and a half ended almost similarly, and yet you still had not seen your boyfriend. Not once in the 240 hours of 10 days, the 14,400 minutes nor the 864,000 seconds, but hey, who’s counting?

And to add to that, it almost seemed like the entire mansion was in on a secret you weren’t aware of. Their excuses seemed to be stumbled, hurried, as they avoided you at all costs. Well… Except maybe Vincent, Napoleon and Theo (just slightly) and it was a given that Sebastian and Comte would continue to converse with you freely. It wasn’t as if you could avoid them, after all.

And yet-

It was Christmas Eve. The night you would usually spend with your family. And just as you had promised him, this year you had decided to stay behind. To say you were disappointed was simply not enough. Leonardo had promised you time together and you just simply hadn’t received that.

And yet here he was, leaving various gifts around the mansion where he knew you would find.

Your eyes shifted from the window to the lineup of items on your table, each item landing upon the calendar date beneath the glass and sighed with a mixture of contentment and concern.

Just where was he, and what was he up to? You knew you would never find him if you searched. He was far too good at hiding himself from you, though he could find you in a matter of seconds.

But as you rose from the outstretched couch beside the windowsill, a sharp knock came from your door.

------------------------

“Cara mia…”

It was words of endearment that had you leaping from your seat, and your exclamation of “Leonardo!” didn’t hide your partial surprise. How could you, when your eyes shone bright with tears; when your hand flew to your lips in utter surprise? And he just chuckled, the sound sending rather wonderous shivers down your spine.

“You’re always so easy to read….”

Nevertheless, he whisked you into his arms with ease as you finally found your voice to yelp. But he only gazed down at you longingly, before pressing his lips against your forehead.

“Come now,” he started as he pulled away, “we’re going out. But first, I have a few gifts for you.”

“Huh…?”, you uttered, confused. More gifts…?

And gifts they were indeed. A stunning scarlett dress to match your heavy midnight boots. Your hands quietly slipped the silk-like fabric against your torso, shivering at the sensation of the cooling fabric. A small hum of anticipation left your lips as you applied rouge to your lips and jewellery to your ears and neck.

(They were both gifts from him. Never would he allow another man to gift you with such beautiful objects.)

But Leonardo was waiting for you outside, and your chest hummed in anticipation for the evening together. It wasn’t often that he took you out for dates- and when he did, both you and he became sidetracked by the hundreds of admirers your boyfriend held in the palm of his hand.

(It wasn’t as if you didn’t have any admirers either- It remained strange to know that you were the one he chose; the only one he could truly love. And stares of envy and awe would always follow your linked hands.)

The dress’ hem shimmied around your ankles as you twirled in front of the mirror in delight. It really did fit you well. Almost too well, you could say. But there was no time to waste: The night was young and you simply couldn’t wait to begin your date, crossing your fingers with the hope of no interruptions.

-------------

“This place….”

Leonardo had blindfolded you the second you had arrived in the mansion’s foyer, before lifting you into his arms with ease. Naturally, you had yelped in surprise as he hooked his arms beneath your knees and your back, only to relax into his embrace only seconds later. To match your yelp, he released a chuckle if his own, to which you only snuggled closer at the sensation of his vibrating chest.

And he had brought you, by carriage, to a rather stunning restaurant frequented often by counts and high-ranking families in the society. And it just so happened to be one of the few higher-class restaurants you enjoyed.

“Leo, what’s the occasion?”

You had questioned him upon entering the grand doors, but he had given you nothing more than a charming grin as you were permitted through to his table. The host had given you the same (yet somehow different) charming smile at the sight of your extravagant dress. And if anything, you only smile back politely as Leonardo’s possessive grip on your waist tightened and his smile thinned.

“Your table, Monsieur Leonardo.”

Strangely, Leonardo had pulled your chair out for you- something he had never done before. And when you, again, questioned him for his actions, he gave you another loving smile that sent you speechless.

--------------

Leonardo had been silent throughout the entire dinner as he watched you eat, chuckling every so often as he reached over the table to wipe whatever neglected sauce remained on the corner of your lips. And now-

He clasped his hand over your own and brought you to the restaurant’s extravagant garden. Crimson roses lined the paths, overshadowing the neatly trimmed grass and sculptures scattered throughout. And yet from the way his eyes remained on the path before you, he had a very specific destination in mind.

Before long, you arrived at the centre of the garden. A white pagoda sat at the centre, connecting the numerous pathways to it’s centre. But what, perhaps, had caught your attention most was the painting, veiled by a thin section of cloth, standing at the centre of the partially enclosed room. And as you admired the scenery ahead of you, you failed to notice Leonardo’s hand leave yours and fumble through his pockets.

“Bee…”

At the sound of his voice and your name, you turned, to search for him, only to find him on a single knee, a small, also crimson, box in his outstretched hand. Your eyes widened, as the events of the night suddenly pieced itself together.

His silence. His actions. His gifts. His disappearance.

“Everytime I close my eyes, all I can see is you. Everyday, all day, all I think about is you, Cara. Your smile, your voice plagues my mind, tesoro, and I find myself unable to focus on anything that’s not you. These few weeks have been hell…I’m not sure how I’ve managed without you all these years, stellina.”

He paused, and watched your eyes glimmer with hope and fill with tears. And with his empty hand, he reached out to your cheeks to wipe your tears.

“I suppose what I’m trying to say, cara, is ‘Can I be yours, as you will be mine?’ Will you let this soul care for your own? Will you allow this soul make you smile-”

You didn’t even allow him to finish his statement, as his fingers flicked at the contraption that opened the box. Nestled in between the pieces of foam was an intricately designed, silver ring- no doubt of his own creation. Diamonds, large and small, glittered brightly from their positions beneath the moonlight.

Your arms flew around his neck, whispering through silent tears, “Yes!”

Smiling gently at you, he slipped the ring to your finger and brought your hand to his lips.

“Grazie, Cara mia.”

(And you could just hear the relief in his voice as he held you close to him.)

--------------

Leonardo would later reveal the painting to you, the intricate brush strokes depicting yourself and he in that same garden he had proposed to you in.

That same painting now hangs in the centre of your shared room, bringing a small smile to your lips from the memory.

[itszephoria]

Saw this pop up and your followers ask you which ones they’re interested in. But people don’t really ask much when I post or they don’t ask the ones that might make you feel uncomfortable. And well, honestly I’m so bored that I’ve decided to break all the damn rules and just answer all the questions because I can. *shock horror*

So information dump on the ‘Be nosy’ that popped up in my feed today. If you’re interested.

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation? 

Straight. But maybe for the right woman I could sway but wouldn’t go so far as to call myself bi or bi-curious though.

2. What are you obsessed with right now? 

Obsessively obsessing about my health and how to get well and failing it all. Oh and anime movies on Netflix.

3. Ever done any drugs?

I do drugs everyday. But I assume this is referring to illegal. No and was strictly no up until recently. I now take marijuana oil on a regular basis for pain management. Also being stoned/high is not pleasant and I don’t understand why people would enjoy that as a leisurely pastime.

4. What piercings do you want?

I want to get my ears pierced again. Holes have closed up, but currently due to my health that’s not possible. I can’t even enjoy clipons :(

5. How many people have you kissed?

The massive number of 5.

6. Describe your dream home.

It’s tiny in the sense it has all the space I need. A cosy tiny-like home. But not one on wheels, fixed to the ground. And it would be made of all natural materials, stone and wood. It would be unique and resemble something out of a fairy tale. It would sit a beautiful clearing with only nature to view in the distance and all the animals and wildlife would stay well away because I’m pretty much terrified of all it, 

7. Who are you jealous of?

Healthy, painfree people. I am jealous of past me who didn’t realise how lucky she was and miss her.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

I don’t binge any show on repeat. I’d rather look for a new show to watch or enjoy, there are so many. The last shows I binged in two days was Queen’s Gambit and Emily in Paris.

9. Do you watch porn?

Yep. But struggle with it because it’s overdramatic, unrealistic and would kill or someone to make porn with a decent storyline with people that can act. 

I prefer to read it if I’m honest or maybe just write it for myself.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Sort of? More like my other one I used I was known for all my slash writings in F1. But now I just hang out here.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

No where. The world is riddled with co-vid and well, I’m probably in one of the safest countries and I’m at risk of death should I catch it. So I’ll stay here in my safe bubble.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I wake up tomorrow and I’m not me. I wake up and I can take a deep breath without gasping for air, I wake up in no pain, I wake up and my body isn’t terribly scared, I wake up and can have a ‘normal’ life.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope and no desire too. Won’t that just hurt?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I’d by that dream house I described, set everything up to be self sufficient. Pay and travel to try every cure available for my diseases. And then bank the rest and live off interest. Or maybe donate it. I don’t want money and I don’t really want a lot of things.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yep and it’s a struggle and am constantly fighting to prove it’s worth continuing. Oh and that’s a relationship with myself.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

No, I suppose it’s more disappointed and let down by people more than angry. I’m working everyday on letting it go but it’s not easy.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I have always wanted one, but have never found something that I really loved and haven’t been imaginative enough to create something unique. The older I get though, I’m not sure I want one. I did for the longest time though think about getting a Ferrari tattooed on my inner wrist, but pleased I never did that. I don’t love the sport or Ferrari enough anymore to want a permanent reminder of that.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I am changing name actually. Hoping to action that in the next two weeks. I would have done it earlier but they closed the borders. I have a dutch sir name that has two words. It confuses every one, systems don’t get it, it has caused issues with plane tickets. And well I’ve decided no more and am dumping a portion of it.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

This is a duplicate. Skipping.

21. Describe your best friend.

When you meet her for the first time she can be a little crazy and wild, and she kind of scared at me first because she’s so unlike me. But as you got to know her, the *real* her she doesn’t let people see, you realise how kind and soft she is, and she’s the most empathic person I have known. She gives so much of herself to everyone, thinks so little of herself and her needs because she’s one of the most selfless people I know. I love her more than most of my family and would do anything for her.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Is this followers? Uh most I don’t know what they look like? I assume they’re all hot!

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Don’t have any really. My music is varied and is based on my mood and really changes around. And with most bands, I generally lean towards one or two songs. This is one of those questions I really struggle with whenever I see it. Will say however, have been enjoying The Beatles recently and a bit of old school stuff.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan. Norway. Canada.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Generally hanging out with people I like. Enjoying a good wine, some cheese, either playing some board game or dungeons and dragons, or watching a really good movie. Good company makes any night a good night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Autumn. One because I think it’s neglected as a choice and every season should be loved, and two because I love the colours of autumn and the colours associated with autumn. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

I’m sure I have a heap of them, but currently it’s people that have an issue with you and instead of being an adult and talking to you about them choose to silence and blank you. I’m so tired of it, I’ve quit being peacemaker in those situations, those people are no longer worthy in my book.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Uh... I don’t think anyone I know is super funny. Friends and family all have a good sense of humor. But out of my circle of life people I’m always told I’m the funny one, which I find the biggest joke ever. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Can not think of anything off the top of my head. I will say if I think a movie is getting too much hype I refuse to watch it, whether all the reviews are raving or not. It’s why I didn’t watch Harry Potter for like ten years or any of the new Star Wars movies. I just refuse to be apart of all the hype and jump on bandwagons.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

I’d love to talk to everyone. I’m shy to start any conversations to be honest and I think all the people I talk to regularly were the first to message me, and I love them for it.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

100% love an old fashioned paper book. The texture of the paper. The smell of a book. That being said, I don’t think I’ve picked up a proper book to read in years. I live in fan fiction more than anything or am busy writing myself.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Any of the disney worlds, anything from the past, or verging on fantasy like. I want a simpler time not full of technology which I grow to hate more each day. The older I get the more I’m pretty sure I’ve been born in the wrong decade.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I’d build the perfect wardrobe capsule. Everything would be of high quality, not necessarily brand name and all the clothes would be sourced from ethical businesses or be handmade.

I like classic pieces, love the fashion of the 50′s and 60s and while stylish it would be comfortable to wear and everything could be worn in public (sorry comfy tracky pants).

34. What’s your coffee order?

There ain’t no coffee order. I don’t drink it. Sorry @leoni-speedyf1 I know how addicted you are to it, happy to buy you anything you like though :P

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

In real life? No one.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Not romantic. I have feelings in that I hope they’re doing well, achieving what they want and they’re all happy. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ breakups and all my relationships ended very amicably.

37. Have any tattoos?

No. See above for more on this.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. Can’t with medication and condition. But on occasion I do enjoy a good glass of red. Pinot Noir is my preference. 

39. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Not in a romantic way? The ones I talk to regularly I love immensely though.

41. How many followers do you have?

99

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Uh all the men I know I am not attracted to. Probably a good thing as they’re either family or partnered with a friend or family member.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Can’t think of anything. I try not to feel guilt for anything I enjoy to be honest, whether it’s food or an activity. Life is too short for that.

44. Do you read erotica?

Yep. Even write it.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

It was a few years back. I met this guy online and we went to the city and spent most of that time just strolling next to the river for our first meet up. Why was it the worst date ever? Well it wasn’t the location that’s for sure.

The guy had two kids, and I’m a firm believer all parents have favourites, though I have yet to meet a parent that will voice that aloud. This guy, had no qualms with telling me about this favourite kid, and that wouldn’t be a problem if didn’t spend just as much putting down his younger son. It kind of left me reeling and wondering how his son felt if his dad didn’t hide just how much he didn’t like him as a person. The kid was four and the reason his dad didn’t like him was because he didn’t like bikes.

And so the guy was a bmx rider so he spent the rest of the time on our walk just pointing out all the tricks he could do. He didn’t ask about me, only talked about himself. It was also lunch time and assumed we would get something to eat together, but nope, no food was offered. And when I suggested to get something to drink because it was so hot and we’d been out in the sun for like an hour, he just took me to a subway and told me to get a drink and waved me to the line. No offer to join me, no offer to pay (which doesn’t bother me btw, but this was capping off a terrible day), no offer to get food.

I was so happy to get out of there. Didn’t speak to him again once I had left.

46. How many people do you follow?

I currently follow 59 people. I don’t follow anyone that creates drama, and try and follow only people that post about F1 as that’s all I use tumblr for now.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Either Sebastian Vettel or Ryan Reynolds. Both are married though, so I don’t think that’s going to turn into a reality anytime soon.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

I want someone that shares the same core values as me. Doesn’t want kids, isn’t super religious (grew up in a cult like religion so I avoid it now), is on the minimalist side and isn’t someone that needs new things things all the time or is desperate to replace something the moment they deem it out of date. Someone that doesn’t live their life on social media. Someone that prefers simple things, someone who is kind and giving, and someone that truly loves me - and it’s the last part that I struggle with finding more than anything with all the guys I have dated. 

I am currently not looking for a partner, I am not in a place for a relationship and am fully focused on myself. And I am very content with that decision.

49. Who do you text the most?

Currently my bestie.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Clear blue skies and a warm day to enjoy the sun. But there are times when I simply love the rain, hearing it on the room, watching it fall endlessly and knowing that everything will be green from it.

[authorofdanger]

Miroh

Genre: angst with slight fluff

Skz zombie apocalypse au

Not much warning really

It's pretty short but I got bored

🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

The storm finally calmed after nearly an entire day of harsh rain and strong winds. Sitting up on a high branch in the first climb able tree I could find I hung my bag and bow on the branch while ringing my shirt out. With the temperature being basically below freezing and having no dry winter clothes or jacket I knew shelter was a must unless I wanted to go through hypothermia.

My body shook violently as another breeze hit my arms and I determined it was time to look for the closest town. Taking a careful glance around me I couldnt see another moving object in sight so I grabbed my few items and leaped out of the tree, bow and arrow at the ready.

Walking through the woods has been scary enough as it is recently with the limited food supply and starving walkers that have been found in hoards but nothing adds fuel to the fear more than being completely alone. I kept my steps as silent as I could and listened to the best of my abilities but in the end I could only hear the thumping of my rapid heartbeat that never seems to calm these days. I use to be able to ignore it when I was with a group but being alone you tend to notice more about ok but yourself compared to when you are with loved ones.

****Four months earlier****

"Y/N you breathe any louder and the walkers will here you," Minho joked as we crept through the abandoned town. Playfully hitting his arm I tried even harder to control my breaths so he could move his jokes onto one of the others. "Unless they hear your blabbing first," Seungmin hushed, "seriously Minho were we not just attacked by a group not even a couple of minutes ago? Let her catch her breath. We all know she is a terrible runner." Rolling my eyes there wasn't much room for arguments. The boys were athletic and strong, only keeping me around for my ability to provide medical care and my shocking ability to hunt. I've tried teaching them for weeks but only successfully having Jeongin shoot a dose after using five arrows and chasing after it.

"Hey it could be worse. We could have Jisung not being tired." Jisung faked a hurt expression with his jaw dropped and a hand slapped to his chest but you could see from the bags under his eyes that if we were to take a small break in one of these buildings he would collapse from exhaustion. "Last I checked I kept watch while I let you guys sleep. I did all of you a favor," he gasped. Placing a soft kiss to his cheek I slightly chuckled at the tiny his face turned and how large the smile on his face turned. "Me too," Jeongin whined while pulling at my arm. Giving him two on his uninjured cheek he seemed satisfied with his reward. I was just happy he was talking again.

He once didnt say a single word for nearly two months due to the trauma of us losing our best friend after we found his family who was going a different way then we were. They claimed to know of a society going west but we were heading east for one we knew of. It was a no brainer he would go with his family and we couldnt be happier for him but we miss him terribly. It took me saving his life and nearly getting bitten for him to find his voice again.

"You are such a baby," Seungmin groaned but apologized once he caught a glimpse of my warning glare. "Last I remembered I beat the shit out of Jisung when he called him a baby. Dont think I wont do the same to you." The boy is an adult now and I refuse to allow the others to treat him as less. "She's stronger then she looks man," Jisung added as he grabbed his wrist, "I thought she broke something!"

"Guys listen," Minho interrupted, "do you hear that? It's called silence and I prefer ot over your bickering." Before I could open my mouth Jeongin grabbed hold of my hand and mouthed a "thank you" while we continued to walk. Security wasn't a feeling we felt but there was a sense of it when we were together. We had eachother.

*****

Taking in a deep breath I had to force myself to think of other things to prevent myself from crying again. After being separated by an attack from a hoard I have been struggling to stay alive, wondering if it was really worth it.

****Three months ago****

I desperately rushed through the city to find the others. Being separated was bad enough but not knowing if they were okay only added to the anxiety. There were bodies and gunshot holes everywhere but no sign of my friends. Losing hope I slowed my pace to a speed walk but kept my eyes shooting everywhere. Then I saw it, Jeongin's bandanna that I used to wrap his ankle after a nasty gash. He never removes it, leaving that for me to do when I wanted to check his wound for infection. I knew it was his when I saw the my fading initials in the corner of the red fabric.

I couldnt stop the tears that rolled down my face with the knowledge that something terrible had to have happened. Tying it around my wrist I spent hours circling the area but when all I found was his bandanna and a few broken arrows from his crossbow I knew one of three things could have happened. They escaped, they got turned, or they got devoured. My heart shattered and all hope was lost. I was alone and I was afraid.

****

Tightening the filthy bandanna around my wrist I took a few more glances around before I spotted glimpses of buildings just a few miles north. Maybe there is food, hopefully there is because I havent had a meal in days and it's taking a toll on my health. With the constant hunger and running I have become extremely thin and weak but just strong enough to keep moving.

The town was in ruins but the market had a few canned items left. I also was able to find more arrows in a hunting shop and medicine in the local pharmacy. "This should hold me off for a couple of days," I whispered to myself before climbing up to the top of a diner's rooftop to look for walkers.

"This place gets worse each time we come," a voice said in the distance. "Shut up and look for some food. I think we havent scoped out that store all the way since we were attacked last round," another ordered after an echoing smack filled my ears and a pain filled wince. "You hit too hard Hyung!" Fear filled my veins. Last time I ran into other survivors they nearly killed me with a gunshot to my shoulder. I still have a hard time moving it since I never got medical attention and it only happened less than a week after losing my friends.

"Any signs of walkers," another voice asked, "I'm not risking us being separated with a sign of danger." I held tightly to my bow and prepared an arrow before deciding to move backwards to try and escaped unseen. "Nope. I think we are fine," a familiar voice groaned, "now can we hurry so we can go back. It's cold out here!" "Minho," I muttered to myself. Crawling to the ledge I carefully peered over to catch a glimpse of the group below. There were three boys I had never seen before but my heart was bound to explode when two familiar faded hair colors caught my eye. With black roots I could see the beyond faded green hair and another faded red. Seungmin and Minho? They're alive!

"What's that," one of the boys growled after spotting me, "guns at the ready!" "Fuck," I muttered before quickly trying to escape. They're alive! Are the others? I didnt have time to think as gunshots filled my ears. "Is it a walker?" "Its too fast to be a walker!" Picking up the pace I felt my lungs burning but kept going after a bullet barely passed my ear. "Stop your fire! It's not a Walker!" I hid behind a dumpster before my legs could give out and tried to keep my jagged breathing quiet. 'Breathe any louder and the walkers will hear you,' Minho's joke replayed in my mind. Even if it was them chasing after me they arent alone and are not afraid to kill me on the spot. I was in serious danger.

Hearing footsteps I stopped breathing all together and listened carefully as multiple footsteps crept past me. "It looked like a girl," Minho whispered. "Minho did you see what she was carrying," Seungmin asked, "she had a bow. It was silver." Many people we have come across had bows of all kinds of colors but rarely did we see a shining silver one like mine since my father handmade mine before the outbreak as a birthday gift. I never got the chance to thank him after the outbreak began due to him getting infected.

"Y/N," Minho called out. "What are you doing," one scolded, "she could be dangerous!" Damn straight I am dangerous. "Dangerous? Y/N is as dangerous as a housefly. She is just a nuisance," Seungmin scoffed. Rolling my eyes I knew if the situation was different I would have slapped him by now. I could see the men from a small crack just behind me but it was hidden enough to where it would be hard for them to see me. Prepping my bow and silently sitting up I had it aimed just a few inches away from them just in case I needed to scare them. "She is as scary as Jeongin. They are both a couple of babbling babies," he added. I then released my arrow, it landing in the fence right next to the faded pink haired boy. "Holy shit," he yelled in a deep Australian accent making me internally laugh but hood it in to not be found. "Definitely Y/N," Minho and Seungmin said in sync.

"Look man we arent going to shoot but dont threaten my men," the faded blonde yelled, "now come out where we can see you." "Drop your weapons. You can take me down without them anyways," I called trying to sound as strong as I humanly could. Slowly each of them lowered their guns and held their hands up to show they were unarmed. I hesitantly crawled out of my spot and made direct eye contact with the two of my four boys. "You're alive," Minho gasped before racing to me and engulfing me in a tight embrace with Seungmin joining on the other side of me. "Shoulder," I winced, "watch the shoulder."

They both immediately pulled away and gazed at my body. Soaked and filthy with blood and dirt I looked as horrible as I felt even with the rain washing some of the grime off of me. "We thought the walkers got you," Seungmin stammered as tears rimmed his eyes, "we didnt even have time to look for you. The boys found us but said they never saw you while searching the place." "I looked for you guys for days. I didnt leave the city until I was nearly attacked again! I was alone for since then thinking you all were," I couldnt even finish after my voice cracked. I placed my head onto Minho's chest and allowed him to rub my back soothingly. "We need to go," the blonde ordered, "I hear walkers."

****

The ride to their base took around half an hour in their safari looking vehicles but looking at the multiple fences let me see just how secure they were. They seemed to reside in an altered town with handmade wooden fences that had to be atleast twenty feet tall that must have taken months to make. "I know it's not the best looking place but its safe," the pink haired boy sighed as we pulled in but I shook my head and gave him a shy smile. "Its better than a simple tree."

As we pulled in there were around fifty people waiting around the parking lot to see if all of their men made it back. In the distance I could see Jeongin and Jisung waiting patiently by a tall and clean building that had to have importance to the people who resided here. Minho helped me out of the vehicle and held his arm around my waist as we walked past the crowd with Seungmin hot on out trail. "Y/N," Jeongin cried once we got into eyesight, "oh my god!" Trampling me to the ground I could only cry as he pampered my face with kisses and tears as he repeated over and over "I'm so sorry!"

"Innie! Innie stop it's okay! I'm here! You're crushing me!" Slowly prying himself off me me Jisung helped me get up and then yanked me into him, body shaking as he tried to be gentle. "How did you survive? Oh my god I'm so sorry," he mumbled into my shoulder. Jisung and Jeongin were always more likely to show emotion so their shaking and crying didnt phase me just as Minho and Seungmin tried holding composure. Running my hand though his quickly fading brown hair I tried soothing him while also bringing comfort to myself. They're alive, they are okay, and we are all together now.

"So who is she again," the pink haired boy from earlier asked as four men approached us. "This is Y/N. She is the girl you were supposed to find when you found us," Minho said with a hint of harshness in his tone. They had to be angry. They were lied to and they knew it, I knew it. Nobody came to look for me that day and I was right where we got separated from! "There arent enough apologies I could provide," the familiar blonde sighed while running a hand through his locks, "but what matters is she is here now right?" "This is Chan, Felix, Changbin, and Hyunjin. The eight of us run this place but Chan is the big man," Jisung explained as he fully let me go.

"You talked about your shoulder," Hyunjin asked, "can I take a look at it in the clinic?" Nodding my head I followed behind him with Jeongin glued to my side as we entered the tall building from earlier.

****

"It looks pretty nasty but I think it will be fine since I cleaned it. We're going to keep an eye on it for the next week or so alright," Hyunjin asked after the last stitch. "Thank you. I could only do so much with a travel first aide kit from a drugstore." Jeongin kept a firm grip on my hand as his friend left the room, leaving us in total silence. "You've been alone this whole time? In the woods? Injured," he asked lowly. "I'm okay now," I encouraged while ruffling his almost white locks with a soft pink hue. "Still havent found dye huh?" He shook his head and mumbled "not worried about it anymore. Too busy around here."

His eyes were full of emotions but I could see so many questions filling his mind that he was pondering if he should ask. "You know to help us feel better we would come up with ways you were alright? Jisung tried making the theory that you found Woojin and stayed with him." Giving him a soft smile I tried to change the subject to clear his mind. "Do you like it here? The boys seem nice." "They baby me. Alot."

I immediately got frustrated but fought to contain it. Have the boys not realized he isnt a baby? Even after I beat the shit out of Jisung? "But Chan has been teaching me how to lead. He told me if anything happens he wants me to take over Miroh. It's pretty cool but kinda scary." My body relaxed at this, so the babying wasn't so bad that he wasn't given respect. It's a big job to lead and he is being trained to do it!

"I'm so proud of you. I know you can do it." "I can now that you're here. Y/N?" I let out a soft hum, listening to everything he had to say, "you know we are staying here right?" "As long as I'm with you boys I dont care where we are. I'm never losing you again." "Well then welcome to Miroh."

[kokiri-at-the-pack]

0820

August 20

I waited for the effect of an ability to disappear. It was out of curiosity on how long the guy named Steven would “pretend” to be friendly towards me. However, Steven hadn’t changed his behavior a bit. In fact, he was the first one to start the conversation or introduce me to his friends today. What’s more, he even ate lunch with me, the course in which I used to spend my time alone. He would ask trivial questions like my life before I came to the present school, or he would share his own story: that he moved from another country, that he had been shy to talk to strangers before and etc.

Although I tried my best to give him a response, back in my head, I did not know if the situation I was in was natural at all. I thought my ability was temporary. The effect should have been off now, returning Steven into one of the guys who had not mind me at all. Is my “visualization” becoming permanent? Knowing that his actions were only derived from my ability and awkwardness of talking to a student for a long time no doubt made me restless. I must give it a test on how it works. I can’t believe I do not know what I’m capable of doing properly…!

But...in spite all these…for some reason...

I didn't hate it.

August 25

I managed to draw more illustrations. This time, I divided them into two categories. One was a pack of simple items I thought my family would want the most: money, a plane ticket for family vacation and other random things. Another was a series of events. I sketched those that I had personally wished to occur. It was not easy to come up with them at once, but at last I narrowed them into two. I was reminded that I had a presentation tomorrow so I drew myself confidently reporting my assignment to my classmates and teachers to get good grades(my main objective). That’s one of my drawings for my personal desires. The second was drawing some of my classmates and teachers to make them have different personalities from their usual. If a guy was selfish, I drew him as a coward. If a teacher was cold-hearted, I made her the exact opposite. I didn't know how long it took to finish all of these sketches, and I had to do it secretly. Nowadays, Mother did not give me compliments for drawing; in fact, I was sure she hated me seeing me like this. Once, I tried to ask Father to convince her, but he only defended her and asked me not to disturb her anymore. Was he scared of her? To be honest, his behavior was like a person in front of a bomb that was about to explode when one single thing was handled incorrectly. There was no such thing as “bright” in my household. Ah, Mother is asking me to go to bed. I am getting busy lately, so I don’t think I can write as much as before. But if the results of my experiment appear, I can write them down here in my diary.

August 26

I have finally grasped the exact mechanism of my ability. This morning, all the items I drew--cash, a plane ticket and etc--were materialized on my desk when I woke up. I remember it was around 6 AM at that moment. However, at 7 AM, when it was time for me to go to school, they were all gone like thin air. It looks like my power to maintain an object is not professional yet; it would only last for an hour or less. 

As for the event, I have never seen my ability work like what I discovered today. Steven remained as a gentle guy and said hi to me in the hallway, but that wasn’t what surprised me. The moment I entered the classroom, I knew the environment differed from usual. I saw Sean at the back, yet something was off. He was one of the most talkative boys whose voice shook the whole classroom. But today, he was just by himself and was quietly reading a book on his seat. When his friends talked to him, he would shyly back away or rather listen to their stories. This was quite a shock to them as he was usually the one to lead the conversation. Not only Sean, but also Erika, a mean girl who bragged about herself often, had a change of personality. She suddenly started to share sweets with us, together with complimenting how we look joyfully. Few more students and teachers had changed as well, whose names I can’t mention as the list would become too long. They had kept their new personalities throughout the whole school day.

After lunch, the time for presenting my project came. At first, I thought there wasn’t any effect on me. I was still a nervous, frightened girl who could only speak softly. With my handmade chart about animal and plant cells, I attempted to stop my hands shaking and opened my mouth to utter at least a word. 

Then I heard someone exclaiming amazement. I turned to where it came from. It was Erika. 

“I love your drawing!” She was referring to the chart.

One by one, my classmates gave interest to it and encouraged me to present each part. Their words were followed by my advisor’s generous comment that I earned half a point by my diligence in the science project and that I would get the rest if I share how I managed to create it. That was when my confusion was replaced with a more positive emotion. When was the last time I was recognized as a talented person in the community? The rest did not need to be explained. After my presentation ended, I received the loudest applause everywhere. Students...my teacher… all admiring me alike...I could forget what I was going through at home for a while. I was no longer a wallflower.

It was clear. My ability displayed greater and more everlasting effect on events I want than ordinary items.

If only I can use this to my advantage…!

September 10

I wasn’t able to write as many entries as before due to my school work. Fortunately, I am able to record this one as I have thought today’s experience was worth remembering.

Ever since my drawings resulted in long-running changes of my classmates and teachers’ characters, I noticed that I became closer to them--with some whom I can call best friends. What’s more, I could find that my school life was getting more enjoyable and helping me not to mind the tension surrounding my family. Yet, I never forgot Steven, the very first student who approached me voluntarily. Frequently, he was the one to help me when I was having difficulties understanding topics for our exams. When we were free, we would eat lunch together and share any topic which would be interesting to both of us. Once I thought that that was his original personality. That he was always a good guy who never discriminated against his friends by who they were. On the other hand, I was afraid that he would suddenly change his behavior towards me when the effect of my ability wears off. Whatever it was, I did not have a clear idea, but what was sure was that my friendship with him was getting deeper compared to the rest of my friends.

Was it because of that bond that I made such a “decision?”

The day was remarkably rainy. The sky was as gray as ashes, and the sound of the rain was enough to make anyone feel downgraded. Nevertheless, I managed to arrive at the school on time, and the first thing I did was to look for Steven. That was because I borrowed his notebook for assistance in terms of my assignment, and I promised to return it to him today. When I opened the door to his classroom, however, his seat was empty. How strange. He should be reading his new book by now. I asked a student nearby about his whereabouts.

“Steven? I saw him go out minutes ago. He looked awfully quiet,” she replied.

Where would he be? Oh, well. He must be busy. I put down his notebook on his desk and headed back to my classroom. But I did not take more than five steps when I spotted an unexpected sight.

On the other side of the hallway, there was the guy I was searching for, but something seemed bizarre about him. His face contained shadow and appeared gloomy, his signature smile nowhere to be seen. What surprised me more was his action of climbing the stairs to the rooftop. It was raining at the moment! What was wrong with him?

I quickly followed his steps and covered my face with my hands to see through the rain properly. Luckily, Steven was not difficult to find. He was just standing in front of the railings. He was just staring at the distance, oblivious of his wet body and clothes. I tapped his shoulder, asked him what was wrong and told him that I was worried if he might catch a cold.

“Sorry…” he refused, “I just want to be alone.”

“Then at least go back inside please. Look at yourself!”

“...I’m fine.”

But he wasn’t. He did not look fine at all. I ignored his reply and took off my jacket. I put it around him and brought him inside the building and to the nearby bench. He showed a sign of rejection at first but after that, he simply let me take control. Then I used my jacket as a towel and softly rubbed his drenched hair and uniform. Steven’s head was down and did not utter a single word. 

When I was finished, I calmly asked him again what was going on in  his head. What would make a guy like Steven depressed and powerless? I stayed by his side without further conversation. A minute passed...Then two...three… I did not know how much, but after some time, Steven began to whisper, followed by a sudden sob.

“I just...don’t like myself,” he sniffed.

I turned to him. Those words were something I never thought to come out from Steven at all. It was the first time he ever talked about how he saw himself. I let him continue.

“I caused my team to lose because I was not good at sports...Some guys ignored me just because I was not as strong or active as them...And...and…”

Tears began to stream down his cheeks.

“I disappointed my family…!”

“Wh--what do you mean?”

“I made them worry...because I was too quiet...could not socialize...could not study well...They must have thought something was wrong with me. They had their own concerns, but I exhausted them more. And now...they are going to be separate, and they told me I’m going to move to my aunt’s house when I graduate…”

I could not speak a word.

“They do not want me anymore. I am sure of it. Ah, I think I’m going to be a burden to my aunt, too…!”

I wanted to comfort him. Tell him that nothing was his fault. Tell him that he was one of the best people she ever met. 

But I also knew that mere words don’t always cheer people up. In fact, they would sometimes result in more damages and be interpreted as a lack of sympathy. More importantly, they are not the ones to directly solve the problem. Still, I wished Steven to smile again. Of course, it might have been because of my ability, but he supported me to enjoy school in several ways that I wanted to do something for him as well.

...That’s right. My drawing. 

I briefly recalled one of my wonderful incidents I had when I was an elementary student. It was when my neighbor lost her puppy and could not find him for months. With a simple wish to help her, I asked her how he looked and drew her finding him again, grasping the precious family member tightly. That miracle came true the next day, and up to now, I can remember her bright smile with joyful tears on her face. My drawing made her happy. 

Can the similar thing happen to Steven?

An instant spark of brilliant ideas led me to ask Steven to share with me his family picture so that I can clearly remember how his parents look like. Then with a single intention of retrieving Steven’s joy, I drew a couple of sheets of Steven smiling and him spending good time with his family and friends.

September 11

Praying for my ability to work on Steven, I opened the door of his classroom and called him outside. He stared at me curiously, probably wondering the reason why I wanted to talk to him. So far, I could not read his emotions, but his face appeared better than before. If I was correct, his personal problem yesterday would be gone by now. I asked him if he was feeling alright.

Steven tilted his head with a confused look. It was as if he did not comprehend my question. Then he gave me an answer which I did not anticipate at all.

“What do you mean? I was sad? Crying?”

For seconds, I thought I was hallucinating. With a stutter, I repeated my question and explained his sadness and confession towards me about his view on himself and his family issues. Steven laughed and disregarded them as a joke.

“You must have had a weird dream about me,” he chuckled, “I’ve never thought about them at all. Nor my classmates. Besides, why would I have an issue with my parents?”

I wasn’t able to move an inch even after Steven went back to his classroom. Why was he acting that way? Was he the same guy who talked about the burden? It seemed like he forgot yesterday's event entirely. I don’t think my ability worked that way before.

What in the world happened to me?

[hasansonsuzceliktas]

15 Ways to Create a High Vibrational Home

If your home doesn’t make you feel uplifted just stepping into that space, it's a wasted opportunity. With just a little time, money, and effort you can create changes that will pay off in terms of raising your energy. Our living spaces are really vital to our sense of well-being. There are thousands of magazines, books, blogs, TV programs devoted to home decorating, organizing your home, the domestic arts. And with good reason. Our environments reflect and influence our inner worlds dramatically. Your home is one of your most personal creations, and what uplifts one person definitely won’t work for everyone. Watching programs like George Clarkes Amazing Spaces or Grand Design, it’s fascinating to see how different peoples living spaces are. From huge expansive spaces to tiny homes, from modern minimalistic design to bohemian colorful antique filled warrens. But whatever your style, if your home doesn’t make you feel uplifted just stepping into that space; it's a wasted opportunity. With just a little time, money, and effort you can create changes that will pay off in terms of raising your energy. I thought it would be fun to compile a list of things we can do to make our spaces more feel great to be in. Maybe some of them will inspire you to put a bit of extra love into your home and reap the benefits of feeling good there effortlessly. Although most of these suggestions are practical things to do, first and foremost your home is filled with the atmosphere of your thoughts. So all the candles and plants in the world can’t fix the energy of your home if you are holding on to anger. Especially in the kitchen, where food is prepared and holds the vibration of the cook and kitchen, create a sacred space by keeping loud talking and conflict away from that space. 1. De-clutter. I know it's a bit predictable, and so many books and blogs suggest this, but it’s because it’s so true. In Feng Shui it’s suggested that you never keep junk piled under your bed, because it affects your sleep, but I think it applies to every aspect of your home. Everyone knows that great feeling you get, when you’ve cleared out a cupboard and re-organised it. Although a few people seem to flourish in chaos, I think most of us respond to space that is clean, and clear of unnecessary, unused stuff. Make it a project to tackle area, by area, and throw out or give away what you don’t use, and organize the rest. I love ‘a place for everything and everything in its place’ philosophy, and being able to locate something without searching for it, makes for easy living. I would say as a side note though, I think every home needs a clutter drawer, jar, basket or cupboard. No one can be organized all the time, and a holding area for ‘stuff’, is essential for sanity. 2. Comfort. I’m a bit comfort freak. Could me my Taurus rising, but whatever it is, its enough to make me walk out of a café if the seats are too hard, and those metal garden type furniture sets, don’t get me started! Again this maybe my thing, but I like a space that says, come on it, settle down, and make yourself very comfortable. Lots of comfy seats, pillows, rugs. No hard minimalist hard wooden chairs for this gal. But whatever floats your boat. 3. Cleanliness. Probably the cheapest way to raise the energy of a space is to clean it! With natural cleaning products preferably, unless the smell or bleach turns you on. I think there is a reason people say cleanliness is next to godliness. With being OCD about it, clean spaces and the act of cleaning spaces, definitely seem to uplift our moods and it seems to be a universal human trait. We associate lack of self-care, a state of depression or addiction with letting our environment become dirty and likewise, cleaning up our spaces, as a transformative action. 4. Flowers To me, nothing seems to say, I love myself and love my home, more than a bunch of fresh flowers. Whether you pick wild ones from a paddock or pay for a florist to keep your home full of flowers, don’t under estimate the happiness impact of a bunch of God’s little floral messages of love. The 5$ you may spend on a coffee, could also be spent on a few flowers, which will you many more moments of joy. 5. Art & Photos A home without art or photos on the walls, doesn’t feel complete to me. An original painting would be first choice, especially if painted by yourself or someone you know. But a print is also great. Choosing images that hold significance or just make you feel good is a great way to energize your home. It can be good to change them from time to time also; since we often become oblivious to things we see all the time. Photos of loved ones or favourite places, around the home, also put us into the frequency of love and happiness with their presence. 6. Handmade objects I love handmade anything! I think many people do. I appreciate the Bauhaus philosophy of making beautiful objects available to the masses through technology but William Morris’s handmade ways is my more my cup of tea. Whether it is pottery, art objects, hand stitched rugs, hand sewn cushions or table clothes, I would rather have one beautiful hand-made plate than a dozen factory produced ones. And handmade stuff is often to be found super cheap in second hand shops. The best of course is an object handmade by yourself or someone you know, I’m sure the energy of hand made objects lingers in the object somehow, and if its made especially for you with love, that is multiplied manifold. 7. Colour Colour choice is again a very person thing. Some people love a minimalist pallet of greys, blacks and inky blues, others go for white everywhere, and then there is Frida Kahlo colour on colour, or ethnic patterns look. Whatever your taste, colour does affect us. Experiment, try something new, and be aware of the power of colour in calming, livening or inspiring you. 8. Know your style As I mentioned in the introduction, what works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for others. It can confusing sometimes when you see Home and Garden magazines, and think every style looks amazing. If you have the luxury of decorating a place from stratch, try on different styles, either in your imagination or by visiting friends houses and seeing how it feels to be that kind of space. You may get impressed by someones Bohemian home filled with their musicial instruments and exotic object collections, but maybe the clutter will annoy you, likewise a super minimalist or tiny home may seem appealing, but living in a place where you have to put everything away before you do anything else, can also become tiring. Also, just because you like a certain art deco cupboard or mid century sofa, doesn’t mean you have to make that era your style. Sometimes a little bit of everything thrown together can satisfy the vintage, bohem, classic, romantic, hippy, modernist sides to yourself. You could also do as one of my artistic friends does and have a different theme for each room, with some rooms oozing Jane Austen romantic femininity and others filled with African wooden sculptures and religious iconography. 9. Light Lack of daylight hours, especially in far north countries, is known to cause a kind of depression. Like plants, we humans are drawn to the warmth and light of sun. Breatharians are even said to live off the energy rays of the sun or moon. So open your curtains, fling open your doors and windows and let in the sunlight. Like the little sickly boy in the ‘Secret Garden’, being indoors wrapped up with the curtains closed and windows boarded up to keep out the germs is not the way to health and happiness. Old houses were often build to keep in the warmth, without considering light or views. So, you may even consider adding extra windows if you live in a dark house. There are even lamps with imitate the light spectrum of natural light. Lght filled spaces seem to fill our inner spaces with light too, so think about the quality of light in your home. 10. Plants Plants are a beautiful way to bring nature in our spaces. They respond to human voice and energy and I’m sure they also add to the calming energy of a place. I think I’ve read that plants in the bedroom maybe not be the best because of the carbon dioxide, but feel free to add plants to kitchens, bathrooms, lounges, sunrooms, and any other space in your home. 11. Shrines and Meditation Spaces I think these are one of the best ways to create a beautiful sacred feeling in a home. I know many people who use spare rooms as meditation spaces, where only meditation takes places. This helps meditation as your mind is conditioned to quieten as soon as you enter the space. An uncluttered room with comfortable seating, a picture or object of focus if that’s your method and some bells or incense can add to the ambiance. Most people don’t have a spare room however and therefore a shrine can also be great way to bring the sacred into the mundane. I’ve seen people make shrines out of shells and driftwood, or a simple table covered in a cloth, where you can place objects, pictures, anything that helps you connect with your inner most self. Many spiritual paths also use their rooms or shrines to offer a portion of their meal to God or Buddha or their deity of choice. Although it may sound like an archaic superstition, it can actually be a way to become more conscious of the energy that you put into your food and to bring the awareness of a divine dimension into the everyday activity of cooking and eating. 12. Air quality & Fragrance We instinctively flee from bad smells and are drawn to sweet fragrances. Walking into a home and immediately smelling fresh lilies, or lavender, or a vanilla candle burning, creates a feeling of being somewhere special. Consider adding fragrance, especially natural ones to your home, and if nothing else, open the windows every day and let the fresh air circulate in your home. 13. Rituals & Gratitude I love rituals, though you do have to be careful that a ritual doesn't become a mindless habit. Some people burn sage to purify the atmosphere, or express a verbal thanks to their homes and everything in it that gives them happiness, or perhaps cleaning the house on a particular day of the week or decorating their space with themes according to holidays. There are loads of different things you can do regularly as a ritual to honour and raise the energy your space or from time to time to make it extra special. 14. Vision Boards, Quotes Nothing is more uplifting than the vision boards that you have personal created or a print out or hand written note of a quote you find uplifting. Decorate your space with these treasures of creativity and inspiration and look at them often. 15. Candles & Fireplaces Just as natural light is beneficial, like moths most of us are drawn to candle light or open fires. It make take a little more effort to light candles, rather than flick a switch, but it does create a lovely ambiance in a room. And as for open fires, I think we all know what a treat that is. In doors or outdoors a fire is healing, warming, and conducive to reflecting on the deeper aspects of live, or not thinking at all! 16. Pets I left this off the list of 15, because after watching Earthlings, I’m a little reluctant to encourage people to get pets and perpetuate an industry which can cause a lot of suffering to animals. I’m also not stable long enough in one place to have that option. However, personally, when I come to a home which has cats, dogs, rabbits, chickens, pigs, tropical fish, anything, especially if they are off the dinner menu permanently, I am instantly smiling. Like all of nature, animals are still connected to the flow of the universe. People are said to live longer if they have pets. And the moving around in circles that cats do, is said to help the flow of chi in a home. Whatever the reasons, I do think pets are probably one of the most powerful ways to bring love, life and energy into a home. But they also need a lot of love and care. So please don’t get one unless you can really treat them like one of your family, for the entirety of their lives. Read the full article