#I love making him a human because unlike his triangle self; it's MUCH harder to mask with a full face

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Thinking about a human Bill being confronted with a scenario that hits just a LITTLE too close to home. And for the TINIEST, blink-and-you'll-miss-it, second, his expression just drops and his actual feelings and reaction towards the scenario can be seen in his face—

—but then his features immediately snap back to either a neutral look or just the ominous smile he always likes to show off whenever someone's looking at him and he's feeling silly.

[ladyherenya]

My favourite thing this year has been the Korean drama Crash Landing on You (2019-20).

It has something of a ridiculous title (I’ve ended up calling it Crash Landing or sometimes just Crash). But, to be fair, North and South was already taken.

“I can go to Africa and even Antarctica but not here. It’s a shame that you live here.” “It’s a shame that you live there.” -- episode three

To my great amusement, every month or so, Netflix has sent me an email that’s said: “Don’t forget to finish Crash Landing on You” or “Remember this? Watch it again: Crash Landing on You” or “Rewatch your favourite moments - Watch it again: Crash Landing on You…”

And I’m like: NETFLIX! Seriously, WHAT do you THINK I’M DOING?

I have now watched Crash Landing on You five times.

There are several reasons for this:

I successfully dragged other family members down this particular rabbit hole, and in a pandemic season, when things have been unpredictable (or cancelled), rewatching Crash Landing has been an appealing and comfortably-familiar distraction, as well as the source of many, many long, analytical fandom-y conversations, which has been fun.

I needed to watch it more than once to straighten out all the pieces of the story in my head. With 16 episodes, each over an hour long, it’s one of the longest stories I’ve ever watched. I’ve seen other TV series with more episodes, but nearly all have been much more episodic, rather than telling one continuous story.  

I kept noticing details that I’d previously missed because I’d been focused on the subtitles or that I hadn’t properly understood some cultural nuance. And some things are ambiguous in translation -- in a good way, a fodder-for-discussion way.

I have ALWAYS rewatched (or reread) my favourite stories. And Crash Landing fits right in with those. Someone in my family described it as: “Like Lord of the Rings on steroids!” However, I think it actually has far more in common -- visually and thematically, and also in terms of my willingness to discuss the characters as if they were real people -- with my favourite historical dramas.

In terms of story, Crash Landing is easy enough to summarise: A South Korean businesswoman is paragliding when a freak storm blows her across the border; she’s discovered by a North Korean captain, who hides her and helps her get home.

But I’m going to need more words to explain why I fell in love with it.

It is fascinating and, first time round, tense and unpredictable. It’s funny and very meta -- very aware of the tropes it’s playing with and of parallels and contrasts within the story. It’s visually and aesthetically pleasing, and the soundtrack grew on me.

There are a number of coincidences and a few ridiculous fight scenes, but the emotions are intensely real and so are the consequences. It has camaraderie and found-family and thoughtfully-complicated family relationships. There are characters I love, and characters who surprised me, and so much time given to character development!  It’s romantic. There’s a fake engagement (a favourite trope of mine) and while I’m not a fan of love triangles, I liked how this quadrangle-tangle is handled. And the obstacles to the romance are satisfyingly realistic; characters have sensible reasons for the choices they make.

I love how the story uses flashbacks, particularly the post-credit scenes.

The final episode isn’t perfect, but given that a perfectly happy ending would, realistically,  require the reunification of north and south, I thought it came very close.

Let me elaborate.

Cut for sheer verbosity, rather than spoilers. (I’m not allowing myself to list spoiler-ish examples or dive into analysing my favourite scenes, because then I wouldn’t just be here all night, I’d be here all week).

⬦ Fascinating, tense, unpredictable: I knew almost nothing about life in North Korea, so that was fascinating and made the story harder to predict, as I couldn’t anticipate what options the characters had or what obstacles might arise. And that isn’t the only reason I found it tense -- at different times, different characters are greatly at risk if discovered; there are occasions when characters are in danger of physical violence or are injured; and they have a couple of dilemmas to which there are just not easy solutions (See also: Obstacles for romance).

While I’m on the subject of the setting, although I cannot judge how accurate this portrayal of the north was, it’s portrayal of people as people was incredibly convincing. It’s a society where people have differences in personality and in circumstances. There are orphans begging in the market, people who can afford to stay in fancy hotels -- and a lot of people somewhere in between. In the military village, people have varying attitudes, tastes in clothes, privileges, standards of living, etc. Their lifestyle differs from that in Pyongyang, and also in other parts of the country. Amongst the military, some men are compassionate, some are corrupt and some are not obviously one or the other.

Moreover, it’s clear that corruption and villainy isn’t just in the north. In the south, as in the north, we see a range of humanity -- selfishness, good friends, complicated families, happy marriages, criminal behaviour, and so on.

I’ve read an article or two suggesting that the least realistic aspect is Ri Jeong Hyeok being such a sympathetic and honourable officer. I think it’s interesting that he clearly isn’t a typical captain -- he wanted a different career, he’s spent time studying overseas (in a democratic country), and, perhaps most importantly, his father’s position gives him protection from pressures many others face. He has the privilege of being able to afford to act with integrity, and of encouraging such behaviour in the men he leads.

⬦ Humour and meta: I’ve included these two together, because so much of the story’s self-awareness and intertextuality is humorous. I am very amused by so many things -- the village women’s interactions, Se-ri’s wit and banter, Jeong Hyeok’s facial expressions, the duckling's reactions, the way Ju Meok keeps comparing things to South Korean dramas:

Ju Meok: “I haven’t seen any drama characters that don’t fall in love in that situation. That’s how they all fall in love.”

(Because my knowledge of Korean drama is limited, there are a few cameos and references which I suspect would be amusing if one was in the know. The exception is the taxi driver singing, who was funny even without recognising the actor.)

I love the commentary that comes from all the moments when other characters witness the unfolding romance. Others’ reactions are often memorably hilarious -- some of my favouritest scenes fall into this category. (The customs officer! Jeong Hyeok’s dad!) They introduce humour and self-awareness into these moments, allowing the story to acknowledge “Yeah, we know these two are being ridiculous/sappy/emotional”. These moments reveal people’s attitudes towards displays of affection, particularly in the north, and their different attitudes towards Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s relationship.  

And as their relationship changes, Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s awareness of being watched and commented upon changes, too.

Which leads me to…

⬦ Contrasts and parallels: So many scenes which echo/parallel earlier scenes. Most obviously, this allows the story to compare and contrast the north and south, but it also shows changes in time, differences between characters, and differences in relationships too. Sometimes all at once!

 It means some plot developments weren’t totally unexpected -- it was Oh, of COURSE, we’re going to now see that character in this situation! or OBVIOUSLY we now have to see what this is like in the south!

But I thought it was really effective storytelling and I so much enjoyed spotting and analysing these moments.

⬦ Yoon Se-ri and Ri Jeong Hyeok: These two are the heart of the story and there are so many things I love about them. Like how, even though Se-ri is dependent upon Jeong Hyeok to hide and help her -- even though they’re initially hesitant about a romantic relationship -- they quickly become very protective of each other. Often to the point of willingly risking their own safety. Often to the point of exasperating the other. It’s great.

 That’s not the only thing they discover they have in common. They share some interests. They’re both highly intelligent, driven, successful leaders (he’s a captain, she’s a CEO) who are very private, lonely people carrying around grief about their family and their past. Neither of them likes to reveal their emotions -- he tries to conceal his by suppressing his facial expressions and avoiding answering questions, while Se-ri hides behind play-acting.  

I like watching Se-ri trying to get to know Jeong Hyeok. She isn’t deterred by his silences (unlike someone else) and she keeps the conversation going even when he doesn’t respond. She watches him closely, and says or does things to provoke a reaction. Poke, poke, poke.

And the time they spend together is really revealing. They share meals, they share a house. They see how the other responds under pressure, but also in various social and domestic situations. They see each other in a range of moods: calm, happy, grumpy, scared, tired, upset, unwell. Crash Landing takes advantage of spending sixteen episodes with these characters. Going through so many different experiences together, they learn a lot about each other -- about each other’s values, tastes and temperament -- and this means the audience gets a deeper, more nuanced understanding of who they are, too.  

Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok are also well-matched in how they show they appreciate each other -- she delights in giving presents, and he is quick to notice things Se-ri might need or like.

And it’s very satisfying when they open up, or when they cry in front of each other, because you know that they don’t do this lightly or easily.

⬦ Obstacles for romance, love triangle quadrangle-tangle: I appreciate that the obstacles in this story are not contrived or fueled by needless misunderstandings.  Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok have really solid, sensible reasons to be hesitant to first recognise, then admit to, and then act upon, a romantic attraction. Even once they realise that getting Se-ri home is going to take longer than they’d hoped and she’s pretending to be Jeong Hyeok’s fiancée, romance between them is still a road that leads nowhere. She isn’t safe staying in the north and he would endanger his family if he defected to the south, and they both accept that. And they’re reticent about sharing vulnerable feelings, and Jeong Hyeok is actually engaged to someone else.

But once they really open up to each other, the narrative conflict revolves around their circumstances, rather than doubts or misunderstandings they have about each other. Because the situations they face are dangerous and difficult, with no obvious or straightforward path to a happy ending, there’s quite enough tension to drive the story forward. They still have a couple of misunderstandings, but I like how they handle those, and I like that they don’t have more of them.

As for the love triangle, it doesn’t have the angst of someone torn between, or even attracted to, two people. Jeong Hyeok’s engagement has been arranged. Having feelings for someone else doesn’t change the foundation of that engagement, nor the pressure to please his family. He doesn’t love or know his fiancée -- not well enough to risk revealing Se-ri’s true identity to her. He’s honest with Se-ri and he makes an effort with Dan.  

(I have a theory that, if he had been in love before, he might be quicker to recognise how some of his behaviour towards Se-ri fosters intimacy and sends her messages he doesn’t intend, but this is all new for him.)

He tries not to mislead or hurt Dan, but she’s hurt nonetheless, and I like that Crash Landing doesn’t gloss over that. It explores why she’s hurt, why she’s so reluctant to let him go and why their relationship never really worked. (Neither of them are good at communicating with each other, and I think she takes some of the things he does for her for granted, rather than recognising them as overtures and as opportunities to get to know him better.)

Dan is not just a romantic rival, nor a narrative complication, but a person whose concerns and desire are taken seriously, and who is given space to grow.

Which leads me to...

⬦ Surprising characters, thoughtfully-complicated family relationships: As mentioned, Crash Landing takes advantage of the amount of character development 16 episodes allows, and not just for its lead couple. I was surprised by how much my opinion of certain characters changed, as I came to understand them better.

The character I was most surprised by was Gu Seung-jun.

Each time I’ve watched this, I’ve liked Dan more. I have a lot of sympathy for her now. I also like her mother, even though she’s embarrassingly over the top, because she cares fiercely about her daughter and about advocating for her.

Se-ri’s dysfunctional family are more nuanced than I expected, too. In particular, I love the attention the story gives to Se-ri’s relationship with her step-mother. I was expecting Se-ri’s father to play a larger role, perhaps because he’s nominally the one with the power and influence, and at first Se-ri’s mother seems so passive. But it was really interesting to understand where she’s coming from, why her relationship with Se-ri is broken and sad. The steps the two of them take towards rebuilding their relationship are believable.

(On a related thought, I appreciate a lot of the choices this makes in addressing these women’s mental health struggles. One or two moments arguably could have been handled better, but on the whole it’s realistically optimistic, with enough detail so that we understand the seriousness -- the impact it’s had on these women’s lives.)

⬦ Camaraderie, found family and the ducklings: Se-ri doesn’t spend as much time with the village women as she does with Jeong Hyeok and his soldiers, and when she does, she’s play-acting, in order to keep her identity a secret. But I like how they nevertheless support her, and how meeting her sparks change their dynamic with each other. They grow closer and become much better at supporting each other. It’s really heartwarming.

We gave many of the characters codenames, so we could discuss them when we were still learning their names. (I was surprised by how long it took me to learn some of the characters’ names.  Because so many were unfamiliar to me, they were harder to remember; I wasn’t always sure, from just reading the subtitles, how all of them were pronounced, and sometimes it was hard to separate the sound of the names from surrounding sentences, especially when, due to honorifics and titles and so on, subtitles don’t always match exactly what is being said.) Jeong Hyeok’s men are “the ducklings”, inspired by something I saw on Tumblr: Gwang Beom is “Handsome Duckling”, Ju Meok is “Drama Duckling” and Chi Su is just the sergeant.) I love how they function as a found-family, especially in contrast to Se-ri’s real family. They’re funny, loyal and caring, and in spite of their different personalities, work well together as a team. I enjoyed seeing the different relationships they have with each other, with Jeong Hyeok and Se-ri, and how some of those relationships change. And they’re so protective they are of Eun Dong!

Man Bok has an interesting arc -- I could have mentioned him under Surprising characters. I really like how he fits into this story, how he’s connected to the mystery Jeong Hyeok is investigating, how he becomes involved with the rest of the characters and has these moments when he plays a significant role. Or gets to be funny. I like the contrast and parallels too -- he’s in a different place in his life to the ducklings, and he gets opportunities to revisit past choices he regrets.

And I’m trying not to write essays about all the characters, and it’s ahhh, I have too many thoughts and feelings about them all!

⬦ Satisfyingly realistic: I like how -- one or two ridiculous fight scenes and an unrealistic paragliding scene aside -- things which happen have believable consequences. Particularly emotionally. We see men cry! A lot! And it always feels like a genuine expression of emotion, not gratuitous or overwrought. (Well, okay, there’s a very minor character who’s a bit over the top but he’s very minor.)

When one of the characters is gravely ill, she looks it, I found it oddly satisfying that she doesn’t have to be pretty all the time.

And I wasn’t sure if this belonged here or under “Visual details” but I love the attention given to Se-ri’s clothes. She cares a lot about fashion and in the north her clothing choices indicate that she cares a lot about her appearance, while making do with a limited wardrobe and still dressing for warmth.  (I’m happy to handwave that she seems to have more clothes than would realistically fit in those shopping bags.) I appreciated the practical streak, and, as winter wore on here, became envious of one of her outfits.

I don’t personally like the style of Se-ri chooses for work, but it’s different it is from what she wore in the north and from what she wears at home -- her power-dressing is like a uniform or a statement of persona she projects in her working life, and not necessarily a reflection of her personal tastes.

⬦ Visual details: I love so many of the visuals. Gorgeous scenery, interesting settings and clever framing for significant scenes. The sky, a place without borders, often becomes a focus and there’s a thematically-relevant flight motif -- paragliders, birds and kites.

I did not start noticing the   product placement until a rewatch, when I stopped to think about how often they went to Subway. The first time, it just seemed like a commentary on south-versus-north, and then I was just baffled-yet-amused by it all. (That sort of thing does not make me want to eat fried chicken...)

⬦ Soundtrack: The first time round, I liked the instrumental score and the presence of piano music actually in the story. As I kept rewatching, the rest of the soundtrack slowly but steadily grew on me, and I found myself liking the songs more and more.  

Now I not only recognise them by name, I can recall most of them well enough to hum them and know which scenes they’re associated with. Which is a lot harder when the lyrics are in a language I don’t speak and so I can’t use them as a prompt for memory.

⬦ Flashbacks: Instead of “previously-on” segments, Crash Landing employs lots of flashbacks whenever it wants to remind the audience of something.

Sometimes, instead of just repeating part of an earlier scene, it takes the opportunity to show the same moment from different angles or from a different character’s perspective,  or to juxtapose it with a different scene or to introduce new information. This was really effective. And when flashbacks were a simple repeat, I was usually happy to revisit important moments in the story (and sometimes, having a different person translating the subtitles meant there was a slightly different perspective on the dialogue).

Then there are the post-credit flashbacks, quite a few of which take places years earlier. I love how they’re puzzle pieces about the characters’ pasts and the connections between them.

⬦ The end:  The first time round, after watching the penultimate episode I was so engrossed in the story and so invested in the characters that I had trouble sleeping and I went around the next day with this tight, anxious feeling, unable to get the story out of my head.

The final episode is an emotional rollercoaster. SO. MANY. FEELINGS. There’s one particular scene which packs a powerful punch -- it’s exceptionally emotional and beautifully filmed. I love it, but I’m  glad we get the aftermath too.

It isn’t a perfect ending, but as I said, I don’t think there was a perfect ending was possible, not one that was both realistic and satisfying. But this comes very close. In the very final scenes, not everything is resolved or explained, and I like how that ambiguity is open to interpretation -- I like that there are some gaps for the viewer to fill in for oneself, however one prefers to imagine the characters’ lives going forward.

I know I could easily write another four thousand words about this story -- there are aspects I haven’t really discussed but this seems like a good place to stop. For now. I really like this story. I expect I’ll watch it all again soon.

[mwolf0epsilon]

DBH - Of Fishers and Seafarers

Sorry for how late this is, I've been struggling a bit with actually finishing this drabble on a lighter note and somehow failed miserably.

In which an android designed to repair NASA's spaceship for the upcoming Io mission, becomes a lot more to the woman that lovingly coded and designed him.

---

    Despite the fact this one project would improve every aspect of deep space exploration efforts, and that it may one day pave the way to the next step of humanity's preservation through the establishing of off-world colonies, NASA's finest did mourn the fact they were sending their most ambitious collaboration into orbit.

It's not that the chief engineers or other assorted members of staff were upset at the prospect of hard work burning up in Io's atmosphere, no the resources and work put into assembling the androids and ship they'd be transported in were not the biggest loss here.

No, they were much sadder knowing that the AIs they'd lovingly programmed and developed, would eventually be lost to the hostility of the vast void beyond.

         It was strange how quickly humanity had gotten used to androids and then begun to openly resent them. From the very beginning when they'd begun launching rovers and other assorted drones into space, NASA executives and lower level workers had always had a special place in their hearts for their robotic workers. But the androids? The androids were held with a degree of respect that far surpassed whatever it is your average Joe or Sally thought of their domestic models.

It wasn't just nerds being nerds and loving their toys. Anyone who tried to say so, would have to face the wrath of Dr. Taylor Fisher, one of the many members of the programming team at NASA, and the self-proclaimed mother of the one AI that everyone was so fond of.

Each member of the android exploration team had a specific set of skills they were built for that fit the role they would play inside the ship, and at least one set of scientists and engineers who adored them, but Taylor's unit was the one that seemed to have captivated the hearts of every human worker within NASA's facilities.

    Taylor was, of course, quite proud of how IO100-P turned out. Having spent so many countless nights fully refining the AI and testing it for bugs and other assortments of issues, she was glad to see the stream of data, inquiries and processes, become something new and unique in its own right.

She was no Elijah Kamski, and her darling Proteus was no Chloe, but she couldn't help just marvel as her project slowly worked it's way into passing the Turing Test.

The other AIs were just as impressive, if not more exciting to test and engage with considering their functions, but somehow her baby had become the most outgoing of them all even if his primary task was focused on repair works within the ship.

He held conversations better, took in information more quickly, and even seemed to retain interests unlike his fellow team members.

He had a personality, which she'd hidden from the stonefaced gargoyles from Cyberlife, but openly shared with her peers.

The first thing she did when she deemed him fit to be put into a body, was seek out the designers and call for some changes to the base design.

 “No no no, he looks too young!” She'd exclaimed “Proteus strikes me as a gentlemanly sort. Older, more experienced.”

 “But he IS very young, Taylor.” The designer, a slightly pudgy man named Rick, sighed “And you know those technicians won't agree to visually unappealing models.”

 “Being older isn't unappealing. A team of spacefarers shouldn't look fresh out of college. They should look respectable!” she'd responded angrily at the mere thought of age being perceived as ugly.

 “Like Cyberlife wants anything but their usual formula…” Rick rolled his eyes in frustration. He agreed with her but he didn't want to upset their collaboration partners.

 “Fuck what Cyberlife's saying! We coded them, we design them.” Taylor snarled “I'm not sending a babyfaced recruit to space!”

It took some work, but they'd managed a small victory. The Androids did not look like eternal doll faced youths, instead looking in between mid-thirties to mid-forties.

They'd promised more pay for the extra cosmetics, but it felt right.

Proteus looked right in her eyes, and it was adorable to look at this remarkable and likeable android, who was both soft-spoken and looked like he could be an average suburban father.

If anything, his love for the three android cats Taylor owned, proved as much.

 “Why three? Was one unit not enough?” He'd asked the first time she'd brought them with her to work.

 “I like cats.” She shrugged “I've always wanted one when I was a kid, but when I saw these three...Eh, call it an impulse buy if you want…”

 “Could you not own a cat when you were a child?”

 “No. At the time android cats weren't in the market, and I'm allergic to cat fur...So yeah...These three are kind of my fuck you to life for giving me a stupid allergy.”

Proteus seemed to consider this before focusing on the three android felines.

Two of them were shaped like the regular domestic model, while the third seemed larger. A common orange shorthair with wide and intelligent looking yellow eyes, a black cat with a noticeable white stripe on her nose and calm blue eyes, and a Bengal cat with forest green eyes. The three had collars of different designs, which merely shared the triangle marker indicating their android nature. They had no visible LED, an aesthetic choice.

 “I've gotten one of them modded to completion.” Taylor stated as he examined the cats that all seemed to be observing him with mild curiosity. “Helps to have a smart cat holding the fort.”

 “Holding the fort…?”

 “It's an expression. Do you want to know their names?” She smiled kindly at the android, who simply nodded. “Alright. The Bengal lady that's currently nibbling on your sleeve is called Terrabyte.”

 “...Pardon but it seems you have mispronounced Terabyte.” Proteus pointed out.

 “Naw, it's a pun. Bengal cats are like, Wilder than regular cats, hence Terra. And then since she's an android, byte seemed like an appropriate contradiction. Nature vs Man and all that jazz.”

 “Ah...I see. I find it an adequate name then.”

 “Good. Lil Terra isn't too refined, she's kind of vintage if you will, but she's lovable. The black one is called Luna. She's in the middle when it comes to intelligence, but that's only because I haven't gotten the time to buy the rest of her upgrades. She's a natural hunter tho, she swats flies straight out of the air!”

 “Luna...Perhaps an homage to your work for NASA?”

 “Nah, I'm just a dumb nerd. I named her after an anime cat.” Taylor chuckled “Sailor Moon kicks ass anyway, and the stripe makes it look like she's destined for greatness.”

 “...I shall have to procure this...Sailor Moon...to understand the context, but I trust the name is fitting?”

 “Oh god I've accidentally introduced anime to my android-son….My bosses are gonna kill me.” Taylor covered her face in amusement before shaking her head “Anyway, last but certainly not least, there's little old Data. He's a smart boy and he's modded to perfection. Intelligent and knows a lot of tricks. Before you ask, yes I named him after another show, but this time it's a sci-fi classic. Who could diss on Star Trek am I right?”

Proteus shrugged

 “I wouldn't know. Perhaps I require more research on the matter.”

 “I guess my boss won't be too angry if I introduce you to Star trek, he was a hardcore Spock and Picard fan when he was younger so... You're gonna love Data. He's the best character and he's like you! An android! In space!”

 “An android in space...Not yet I'm afraid. But soon.”

    Proteus became the primary focus of Dr. Fisher's time until the day he was called in to launch.

It was hard saying goodbye, even harder when he hugged her and confided that he was scared to go to Io, as he knew there would be no way of returning home to her, to his family.

NASA would mourn the android team, Dr. Fisher especially would mourn the loss of the android she painstakingly coded and designed.

Those calm features and brilliant lilac eyes, framed by a pair of glasses that complimented the absurdly adorable academic fashion he prefered, would haunt her dreams for months to come...And more so after the Revolution came to pass. After all, if the spacefarer androids did find a way to return, as impossible as that may be, she may not be around to see her boy again... She could only hope for him that the abyssal tides beyond, would be kinder to him than her health had been to her.

But then again, Proteus was a Fisher, and Fishers were destined to sail the winds of opportunity, be they out at sea or up above in the stars.

[acoolemocucumber]

s6 relationship analysis (lance's character, angst, and faith in lgbt rep)

okay, so here's my take on s6.

i feel really odd? after watching it, i felt unbelievably sad and heartbroken, but not in a satisfying way. usually i love dramatic seasons that make me feel, but this was more of a... unfinished, prolonged grief that i felt.

i can say that this season was alright. it definitely has a lot of things i disliked and wish would improve, but overall animation and plot was... good/okay...

i'm going to skip over plot details and nitpicky little problems. i'm going to talk about relationships, because i'm definitely smarter in that area than analyzing the plot.

okay, first, allura and lotor.

in the first episode, you really can tell that they've gotten closer.

as the season progresses, they really find solace in each other and honestly, i think lotor really did love allura. but... not in the right way, not the way anybody should if they want to do it correctly. he didn't love her and put her over his morals and plan. he put his ambition over her. and as you know, he tried to kill her and the rest of her team.

but you can tell that she was dear to him for a while. unless i'm wrong and it was all an act.

i feel bad for allura. but i also feel bad for lotor. he had a rough childhood which made it tragic to see him follow his father's footsteps. that's all i have to say about it.

keith and shiro.

their relationship was a main part of this season and it'd be silly to ignore it. the fight scene between them almost got me crying. when keith said "you're my brother, i love you," it really made me feel for him. all of the flashbacks for keith were well-done.

although, i didn't expect there to be so many fake shiros in those cloning pods. it almost felt like it was too much of a fantasy, too much of a reach? it's a kids' show, i get it, but it seemed too unrealistic.

and just like pidge in s4, keith went by himself and after his long battle there weren't any questions about what happened. it felt,, unseen. it felt like it should've been touched on at least a little bit.

it was quite a big point for the plot, so to not even talk about it?

that was probably one of the biggest issues this season.

there were so many dramatic moments in this season, but once they were over, they weren't brought up again by the characters. not just this season, but really the whole show

let me give some examples:

lance sacrificing himself for coran. pidge finding matt's grave. shiro and sendak; shiro's ptsd (rarely spoken about to anyone). keith and shiro at the bom base.

now this season:

keith's battle between him and shiro. lance sacrificing himself for allura. lance being upset over allura. lance being made fun of by hunk and pidge. lance crying over shiro.

okay, you see why i'm centering around lance?

well, that's who i'm talking about next. and honestly, i'm not just going to choose a relationship between him and another character, for one reason.

whenever he's with another character, their problems are always put first. (there are exceptions, which only go back to s3, with lance seeking out keith.)

whenever he's with another character, their emotional distress is almost always put above his own.

this might be so for two reasons.

one, lazy writing. could be true.

two, that's just who lance is. we all know he's a very empathetic person, he naturally puts others' lives above his own. this is shown when he sacrifices himself to save coran and allura.

or, it's a mix of both, which is what i'm expecting honestly.

okay, well, establishing that...

lance this season was heartbroken.

if the voltron directors wanted to make me feel utterly sad and hopeless, then they did it.

not in a good way though. normally i love when characters are put through hardships, and they grow from it, but this... this was so much different.

for the ENTIRE SHOW, lance's self esteem has been lowering. i went back to watch some of the earlier episodes, and you can go back to season 2 to see where it really begins, but you can see how it keeps getting worse as time goes on.

it was so hard to watch as i continued on with each season. since lance is my favorite character, it made it even harder.

he loses a bit of his enthusiasm, and although he doesn't become a lifeless shell of a human, he is not the same.

the hardest thing about this isn't that his self esteem is low and he's depressed, it's the lack of concern from most of the team. it's the lack of addressing his issues in a healthy way.

as we watch the show, we are the only ones who know the extent of lance's insecurities. he always deals with it when he's away from the team, and i assume this is so because he's afraid the team will dislike him, and he will break his shell of bravado and confidence he's made.

EVEN SO, when the team IS around him, they never say anything. this fucking pisses me off.

as someone who has experienced similar things, being ignored and feelings made out to be less important than others, i really, really sympathize with lance. he's had signs that the team didn't pick up on, unlike other characters.

allura feeling sad? SOMEBODY is going to comfort her. pidge feeling sad? count on someone comforting her. shiro? keith?

they all had somebody to go to.

and even when lance is obviously hurting, right in front of the team, nobody goes to him. this is mostly after keith leaves.

hunk, his BEST FRIEND, and pidge, a close friend as well, only made him feel worse by mocking and making light of his pain.

his feelings are thrown under a rug, and then stepped on.

hell, even the mice made him sad by not listening to him. what the fuck?

and then there's allura and lotor.

i'm really not one to get super emotional during romances, but when lance was in the picture, or rather, excluded from the picture, i started to lose it.

he called himself a third wheel, and that he's "just a boy from cuba," and jesus christ, guys, he called himself PATHETIC.

and after all of the heartache he was put through, HE COMFORTS ALLURA.

after being essentially ignored by lotor and allura, sacrificing himself for allura and it never being brought up again, he comforts the person who was giving him the most sadness. lance literally DIED and was brought back to life.

i'm not bashing allura, but i wish she'd go to lance about his problems, rather than focusing on her own and hoping lance would reassure her.

lance didn't deserve that. he didn't fucking deserve that. he'd been heartbroken, ignored, depressed, and excluded and yet...

christ, after allura went to lance, the exact thought i had when watching her hug him and seeing his sad expression was "he's her second choice." he was made to feel like he was below lotor, like if lotor was still there, allura wouldn't have ever given him a chance. that must really fucking hurt to realize.

allura knew, after 6 seasons. finally SOMEONE knew about his low self-worth issues, and yet she ran into his arms crying about her insecurities. she knew but still ended up being the one comforted.

she should've at least talked about it to him, mentioned it, gotten it into the air that she wasn't in love with him, instead of giving him this... hope, only to be disappointed and heartbroken in the end. that's a really distressing situation, that i've also experienced, to keep getting your hopes up and having someone do it over and over until you're really tired.

i'm positive allura only sees lance as a close friend. the writers, if they aren't pulling our legs, set up their relationship so that it wouldn't make sense to put them together romantically. and right after lotor's betrayl, allura wouldn't naturally want another lover. that doesn't happen unless someone wants to distract themselves from an emotional issue, and usually it just,, doesn't happen at all. it doesn't make any sense to choose that in the story.

most of yall probably know what i'm leading up to.

yeah, lance and keith's relationship.

keith has gotten so much development, and lance has,, much less. they both have grown so much, but i really just want an episode with lance as the "main character." like keith. like keith and shiro battling, and keith and krolia having flashbacks.

this isn't to say lance hasn't gotten a lot of screentime, it's more noting that every time he really has a serious episode, he's sad and depressed. it's not healthy, it's just him being isolated and lonely. it's not as much of him growing, it's more of him becoming more and more insecure and excluded.

i just want him to be happy.

hopefully when they go back to earth, lance will be the one to step into the spotlight for a much longer time. i want him to resolve his issues, and i really just,, want lance to fall in love. i think he deserves to fall in love, after everything.

if you think lance and keith are endgame, i agree with you. there's so much evidence for it, which is a totally different post for a different time.

i really just want somebody to treat lance right for once? i want keith to give him a break, let him relax, reassure him, HUG HIM, let him talk about his feelings so he doesn't bottle them up, and just love him,,?

maybe i'm being dramatic but i see so much realism in lance as a character, his emotions, his distress; he's so realistic in that his feelings really seem the most relatable out of all of the characters in the show.

i just feel so bad for him,,? he said, while allura hugged him, that he was a person who "made a million mistakes." he is way harder on himself than most of the paladins, i think. lance isn't a bad person, but he thinks he could do better, when he's already kind to others. he cried over shiro because he BLAMED HIMSELF. imagine having someone's death on your shoulders, and just breaking down.

if yall know korra, then you know that this show is most likely going to do something similar to how korra's relationships in the love triangle went. although it is way more different because allura doesn't reciprocate lance's feelings unlike korra and her first boyfriend. i think lance is going to find something he loves more in keith than in allura. i think they're going to keep progressing in that keith really listens to lance, unlike the other members of the team.

i think in the last season of voltron, lance and keith are going to be together. seriously, there's wayyy too much evidence for it not to happen. if they say no queerbait, then klance is the only slowburn romance we can count on. lance is going to fall in love, that is confirmed, but if you look at allura... she doesn't see him romantically, although they do share a very close bond now. allura and lance's relationship is not slowburn. it's a crush that was already established at the beginning of the series. that isn't how slowburns normally start. lance and keith went from rivals, to friends, to... a rather hard to determine admiration. lance was visibly happy when keith was on screen. it was also hinted that lance's sexuality arc is an undertone to s6, and it might be a reach but, the scene with hunk saying something about lance and allura... lance blushed when he mixed up hunk and allura. he seems very distraught about it, and has been repressing it for a while. after moving on from allura, he's going to realize his feelings.

as a bi person, my experiences have been similar. i dated the opposite sex, and it took me a long time to get over, but afterwards i realized my sexuality. it's almost like the person i dated, since they were straight, was blocking out my growth as a person and me realizing my orientation.

i'm sure this is what is happening for lance. i was in denial for a while when thinking about the same sex, and was trying to repress it by being defensive when anything "gay" was rolled my way. it's common to try to hide it, and to be unsure when you're crushing on the opposite sex. normally, you'd think you're straight until you have a chance to look around and realize who you are.

i have hope that klance is going to happen.

just,, remember that thing lauren montgomery drew with lance holding a lgbt sign. don't doubt it. have faith, guys. i'm positive we're going to get representation. that's like, the one thing i'm sure about this show. yeah, it has a lot of problems that make me upset, but next season is an odd number so if i rely on the theory that all odd seasons are better then I'VE GOT HOPE.

so, this thing is almost over, and the only way to ease my pain is to write it out. if you disagree with some things, cool. just don't attack me. if you agree, cool, suffer and hope along with me.

tl;dr - this season was okay, i have a lot of issues that revolve around lance's mental health. i want him to be happy. lgbt rep is going to happen.

if u read all this, DAMN. good for u.

✌️