#I love jupeter! i am insane! about them! They make me forget any issues I have ever had with fictional romance

[junonureyev]

Season 1 thoughts, initially: (partially/a lot of anaylsis and partially just... rambling. I talk a lot.)

When I started this relisten I listened to the murderous mask and then thought "this'll be easy, I remember how the murderous mask functions I was 16 and I was amazing at understanding this podcast, evidenced by how well I rped at Juno at the time" and I did rp Juno well. I have no evidence of this but... take my word for it.

I think where I personally struggle the most is the individual plot story lines, because it's true. I do understand the characters boarder functions more than I do individual plotlines. I think (especially because of how Juno is written) it's incredibly well conveyed how Juno as a character (and also Nureyev) functions, in season one our protagonist is more of a mystery in the sense we don't know why he functions the way he does whereas with Nureyev we eventually do find out. The character writing is so stellar, and unique, and colourful, and immediately vibrant that it makes sense the thing that drives the story is obviously the character. The plot takes a minor backseat to that.

I fucking love Nureyev as much as I did when I was 16 and it was 2019 and he's completely earned the title of "my favourite fictional character of all time" when he got it without a doubt and remains at that level even now. I love the angel of brahma as an arc, I think it's my favourite season one pair of episodes. It's the perfect cocktail of Juno and Nureyev getting tortured, Nureyev comforting Juno (holy shitt) and character development for the both of them. I feel it's a arc fully-hellbent on conveying their romance to the audience and it makes me feel like what I imagine people who really love romance in stories feel like all the damn time. I also love the conclusion, that the people of brahma rely on Nureyev as a robin hood boogeyman because being a comfort to people who need it and scaring people who suck, it makes me think that Peter Nureyev would really love the role he's played in real peoples lives outside of his fiction. (And the role he's played in my life.) And that weird parallel brings me a lot of joy.

Peter Nureyev is an incredibly good person regardless of whether he likes to acknowledge it or not. He has a very interesting relationship to the concept of being a saviour, because Juno fully has a saviour complex, but Nureyev doesn't seem to realize that he does default to being a good person with an incredible amount of patience and a saviour figure. (Which is something he at least subconsciously wants to be) He just doesn't let people in, and so maybe his lack of self awareness in regards to his not-saviour-complex-in-the-way-juno-has-it, comes from his lack of experience with intimacy. He wants to be with Juno and has decided that Juno is a good person and will do anything to compensate for that, but Juno is way more complicated than both he and Nureyev would like him to be at the moment, and so it fucks up and Juno takes advantage of his kindness. Peter Nureyev deliberately presents himself as the guy of your dreams to take advantage of people, yeah, but for Juno it's all genuine. So inexperience. (He doesn't even realize what he's doing when Juno points it out. He is not self aware about it at this period of time)

I think this is what makes the ending interesting is that Juno is absolutely being selfish and terrible to Peter, (taking advantage of him and ghosting him) because Juno anticipates that someday this will all go wrong and is too afraid of that so cuts it off before it happens (BPD behaviour. Do not get me started) but narratively it makes sense because Juno absolutely is not ready for a relationship at that point and had been genuinely way too mean and non-communicative towards Nureyev to ever even remotely start a healthy relationship. Nureyev couldn't compensate for Juno's behaviour forever so, it was a good decision to cut it off. Not for those reasons or in that way, it was a total fuck up indicative of Junos most intense neuroses, but still. Juno at that point did not deserve that man. In my opinion. Although I can see an argument for otherwise, I think Juno leans too heavily on the explaination that they're on other sides of the law for his distrust even though it's mildly unclear how much he actually cares about being on the right side of the law. Considering. I personally don't think he cares that much and this is a case of him justifying his distrust by going for a more surface level explanation than what is truthful (deep seeded mental health issues and trust issues)

I personally find this last scene truthful to the core of their characters and the relationship they've built, and I think it does a wonderful job portraying the types of mental health issues Juno has.

I think he's insane for leaving Peter Nureyev in a hotel room after he just said "I'm in love with you" but I get it. (If I was in that situation I don't even know what I'd do, but the likelihood that'd it'd be something similar is... a lot, I'll admit) The writing is so good and that scene goes so smoothly it doesn't feel unjustified at all and I think we can attribute that to how well written Juno is. Nureyev also presumably had some inkling that Juno was going to pull this, since he can read Juno and also confirmed twice in-ear that Juno was okay with this. But he believed, because Juno was communicating otherwise, which is what makes it such a bad decision on Junos part? and why I specify specifically that Juno took advantage of him. It's not like he didn't have an out to communicate like a normal-ass person. He was given at least 1 onscreen and we all know how comforting and needy Nureyev is.

It's why I'm so compelled by them, and why they're my favourite fictional romance, is the entire latter half of season 1. I stopped in 2019 (so the beginning of season 3) and I hope they resolve what happened late season 1 well, as I never got to that.

My urge now to listen near constantly is going to be at an all time high even though season 1 took so little time because you think "oh I have so much podcast left" when in reality you have like 5 days of podcast left and I'm not going to survive the next 5 days because stopping feels like letting Juno rot in that grave he dug on purpose 'cause he's a fucking idiot. I love him and I can't leave him in there for long. I need to get him out.