#I love in fiction when people are put into absurd situations because some rich dead person said so in their will

[iamthekarmapolice]

it’s the reality show competition plot combined with that plot device of recently dead rich powerful person making people play some kind of convoluted game as part of a postdeath condition for me. elite combination of tropes happening here. cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [45]

“You forgot?” Dorian exclaims, “Lavellan it’s your own anniversary, how could you forget? You know the city where I was born. I don’t even know where I was born, you know the doctor who delivered me by name. And you forgot your anniversary?”

“In my defense,” Lavellan sounds out of breath on the other end, “I’ve been very, very busy.”

“I can’t believe this. You asked me to plan this thing out for you a year and a half ago.”

“Dorian, I am currently on the run for my life.”

“That’s what you get when you take an assignment on your tenth wedding anniversary. What do I tell the Bull now?”

“I don’t know!”

Dorian stares at the venue he’s had set up overlooking the beach of the Storm Coast. It’s one of the few days where it isn’t raining and it’s actually pleasant. Dorian can stand to look at the water without getting seasick.

Literally everything is here - the guests, all of their friends, the food, the decorations, the fucking weather -

Except Lavellan.

“Bull!” Lavellan exclaims.

“Yes, Bull! As in the man you’re married to and expected to be here with. Bull who is probably on his way over right now thinking you’re already here. Bull who - “

“Bull leave it behind! Leave it! Leave it!”

Dorian stares into the sun and thinks he feels something in him crack.

“Don’t you dare tell me - “

“I don’t know what you’re going to tell Bull that you aren’t going to tell me,” Lavellan says, and then there’s a brief moment of static as she does something presumably dangerous and impossible outside of fiction, “Considering he’s with me. I feel that it’s incredibly unfair that you’re lecturing me as if I’m the only person in the wrong here. I mean, clearly he forgot too.”

“You both went on assignment on your ten year anniversary together and forgot?”

“Apparently yes,” Lavellan says, “Bull, as an aside, I’m sorry we both forgot our anniversary. I promise to say something about it later.”

Dorian hears a vague grunt of acknowledgement in the background and then Lavellan lets out a small moop and then there’s the sound of two people breathing.

A door opens and slams shut. A car engine revs.

“Pavus,” Bull says a few moments of Dorian mentally spiraling down a drain later. He doesn’t even sound out of breath.

The man is pushing fifty at least and he’s still doing this absurd bullshit.

“Bull.”

“I want to say that I also forgot the anniversary,” Bull says, “Because Lavellan is glaring at me because I guess I was supposed to remind her. Point is, every day is important and I lost track of how much time we spent together. Sorry, Kadan.”

“Just because every day with you is lovely to the point where I lose track of time doesn’t mean you’re getting away with it!” Lavellan says, “Now you’ve gone and made Dorian cross with me.”

“Sorry, Pavus.”

“I am charging all of the expenses to you,” Dorian says. “At first I was only going to do half because this was my present to you both for surviving each other for so long. Now as a present to myself I’m charging you both plus a service fee. This is my present to myself for putting up with the both of you for so long without killing either of you.”

“Love you,” Lavellan says.

“I love you too,” Dorian replies, “Don’t die. I’m rescheduling this but right now everyone here is going to eat all of this food and enjoy this perfect venue I set up for you two ungrateful lovebirds and celebrate not having you around.”

-

“Why are we at a fair?” Sera asks, “And why are Dalish and Lavellan crying while eating cotton candy?”

“They just found out that they aren’t related,” Krem says, offering Sera a corn dog. She takes it, and bumps it with his as they watch the two women crying over bright pink and blue bags of sugar. “They got the results earlier and haven’t been the same since. The Chief thought maybe it’d cheer them up if they went somewhere with bright lights and sugar and grass.”

“Sensory overload and a sugar crash.”

“Hey, don’t judge. It’s going well so far. They couldn’t even sit up on their own earlier. Look at them. Eating with their mouths and everything.”

“That’s terrifying.”

“Yeah, well. That’s them.” Krem says. “Did you come here with Dagna?”

“Yeah,” Sera says, “She’s off conning some booth out of, like, all their prizes or something. Sera gestures to a giant plastic bag by some tables. “I’m watching the rest of it. I don’t even know what we’re going to do with all of it. I guess charity. Dunno. Can we borrow some of your truck to carry it in?”

“Sure,” Krem says. “Might have some trouble fitting it though because the Chief and Skinner are doing the same thing.”

Krem points in the direction of some shooting galleries.

“Sensory overload, sugar crash, giant animals,” Sera says.

Krem gives her a thumbs up, “Also deep fried nonsense.”

-

“This is the worst family trip ever,” Lavellan declares, sitting down on a plastic recliner chair, pushing at Sera until she makes room. “They just read the last will.”

“And?” Sera flicks up her sunglasses.

“And he left me everything,” Lavellan says, “What an asshole.”

“Told you,” Sera drops her sunglasses back in place. “Now you’re a rich prick.”

“I don’t want to be,” Lavellan whines, picking at a tray of french fries. Sera smacks her arm.

“Not yours.”

“Come on! I just found out that not only is my adopted father dead - probably, or faking - but he’s also left me all of his money, worldly possessions, and problems.”

“You’re rich now, go buy your own fries,” Sera teases. “Right Varric?”

Varric holds up his hands from the next sun chair over, “I am not part of this. I am here for emotional support and to make sure that Hawke and Isabella don’t get thrown overboard.”

“How’s that going?” Lavellan asks.

“We had a few close calls but the situation was salvageable and there were no witnesses.”

“Nice,” Sera and Lavellan says.

“Hey, Boss,” Lavellan glances up and sees Bull crossing the deck, waving at her, “How’d it go?”

“How are Dorian and Cullen?”

“Greener than Dalish’s pretty, pretty eyes,” Bull replies, “Josephine and Cassandra are ready to just pitch them overboard or smother them to be done with it. How did the will go?”

“Terrible.”

“What, he cut you off and lecture you via video tape or something?”

“No! Worse! He left me everything!” Lavellan says, throwing herself backwards onto Sera. Sera grunts, pushing at Lavellan. Lavellan puts her arm over her eyes. “I don’t want Solas’ bullshit!”

Bull sits down on the sun chair on Sera’s right, “Well, you could always just use that to piss him off. Like use his money to fund shit you know he hated or something.”

“I like that,” Sera says, “Spite from beyond the grave countered spite for things in the grave.”

Lavellan sighs and sits up, frowning.

Bull holds out a container of fries.

Lavellan smiles, “You know me so well.”

“Nah, Fenris texted me.”

Lavellan twists around and waves at Fenris two chairs over, “I knew you had a soft spot for me.”

Fenris rolls over, “Payment for the opportunity to see Hawke and Isabella almost plunge to their certain deaths.”

[ahmeddawn]

A Moment for “The Dark Knight”: EPIC film that goes beyond comics

I would like to introduce my first guest author - Shayan Mannan.  The following article is written by Shayan - who is an ADJ reader and also my nephew. At 21, he is a musician, an entrepreneur, a soon to be professional blogger, and a Law & Society student at York University. He just released his first album, the "No Cure" EP which is available on iTunes. Check out his music at his MySpace Page I'm personally into new age music, and after listening to his album (which is electronica) my first comment was "This sounds just like a professional musician. I couldn't have guessed that this wasn't made by well-known artists such as Vangelis or Enigma."

A Moment For "The Dark Knight": EPIC Film That Goes Beyond Comics

The lines were packed to the back of the theater, and Batman shirts and joker-painted faces were out full-fledged. What an AMAZING, EPIC movie.

"So where do I begin...now a year ago these cops and lawyers...” The Dark Knight delivers on all fronts, but let’s get something straight - this isn't your typical summer blockbuster - sure, there's action, but this movie is really a character piece and it explores themes of order and anarchy. It raises questions about morals, society's duplicity, when to cross the line, what is good/evil and looks at philosophical musings.

This is the best Batman film EVER. That title easily belonged to Batman Begins, and how the hell Christopher Nolan was able to continue and make even a better one is a mystery all by itself. This movie is 10 times better; it makes Begins look like, as a friend said to me, "Some bonus feature on a DVD that would be there 'just for flavour.'" Remember, sequels almost always SUCK, so what was done here is nothing to be overlooked.

Christopher Nolan:

This film is dark to the core. Thank you Christopher Nolan. Not only has he revived Batman, he's taken it to levels I don't think any filmmaker who tackles future Batman movies can reach. It makes all the other comic-book movies look like child’s play. Nolan balanced out the screen time decadently and gave both the villains their due diligence (unlike Spidey 3, let's try to forget that one). One of the things that really make it special is the REALISM that Nolan's injected into a fictional character and his world that's made everything believable. I think Nolan and Ledger both deserve Oscars. It's really too bad films like these don't get considered for nominations because "comic-book" movies are looked at as derogatory and something you can't take seriously - which is true for most films, but not this.

I don't know how you go out and make a better Batman film. Seriously. And just like Begins, this was packed with great quotes that you'll remember.

Christian Bale:

Once again perfect, portraying Bruce Wayne/Batman's struggle as a warrior whose city crumbles to the ground after being so close to restoring order thanks to the arrival of the Joker. I agree with my friend that Bale's best times were when he's picking away at his gadgets in the basement or contemplating alone about his horrifying and depressing situation. I'm glad they included a bit more of the playboy Bruce Wayne scenes, and they were hilarious; showing up late on purpose to the party with not one or two but THREE women in his arms, making fun of Dent, and just being an arrogant jackass. I also loved that scene where he sacrificed his Lamborghini to save that dude and then was pretending he has no idea what's going on.

Heath Ledger:

You've heard about how sensational he was, and you really have to SEE it to grasp just how scarily good he was as the Joker. The smallest details, like how he puts down the champagne glass softly instead of throwing it, the slight slouch he walks with instead of standing straight, how he licks his face, his movements in general and his facial expressions add to his creepiness factor. His voice is haunting, and anytime you see him on camera it feels uneasy. The best part is though, is that he's believable because he's human: because if you didn't believe he was human he wouldn't be nearly as scary. Ledger really disappeared into this role, you can't even recognize him. And one of the people in the group I went to see it with really didn't; she had no idea it was Heath Ledger. It's tragic the man passed away, and we'll never see him reprise his role again. Oh yeah, Heath Ledger's Joker slaughters every other Joker before him, including Jack Nicholson's...he makes Jack Nicholson look like...well...a clown.

The joker as a villain - what makes him unique is that he does all the crimes, just for the FUN OF IT: "I don't have a plan. I'm just a...dog chasing a car. I-I wouldn't know what I'd do if I ever caught it!" He doesn't give a damn about money, women, sex or drugs. He just wants chaos, and that's what makes him so scary, because he fits into the type of guys that Alfred explains: "…Aren’t looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." This joker is sadistic, psychotic and just simply psychologically disturbing. And he's so smart and can read people well; he understands how people think which is quite ironic since he's a crazy sociopath.

Maggie Gyllenhaal:

I originally didn't know what to think, but was just happy that they replaced Katie Holmes (she was so awful). Alas, Gyllenhaal was SOLID and has the personality that was originally needed which Katie Holmes could just not fill.

Morgan Freeman:

never gets old. Plays the same guy in every movie? Yes. Does he ever get boring though? Love the playful conversations he has with Bale.

Michael Caine:

plays that father-figure perfectly and provides that dead-pan humor needed amid a serious scene with Bale. He's got some of the best lines when he gives his advice.

Gary Oldman:

I'll let my friend sum this up - "The man's a chameleon. He really just brings the a-game to every role he does, and it really is hard to believe he played Sid Vicious, Count Dracula, and a drug dealer all with the same dedication." Also, remember Hannibal? You know the rich old guy in a wheelchair who had the deformed face because Hannibal peeled it off and therefore he wants to exact revenge on Hannibal? That's Gary Oldman.

Aaron Eckhart:

another brilliant casting. Let's face it, when we originally heard that Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart were chosen to play Joker and Two Face, we didn't know what to think. That scene when he's on the hospital bed and commands Gordon to say the nickname that they used to call him started the whole transformation into Two-Face nicely. "SAY ITT!!!!" And his face was nasty, scary, and REAL as hell. Easily throws Tommy Lee Jones off the bench (but that’s not really his fault, Batman Forever was just an atrocious movie in all angles).

Random thoughts:

If I had to pick one SPECIFIC action scene as my favourite, it was when the Batpod goes by Joker's trailer truck and....FLIPS OVER that thing like it's nobody's business, and then the Batpod turns back around off the wall in a slick Transformers way. And I never would've guessed that the Batpod is literally a part of the Batmobile; when it shot out and ejected, that was ABSURD!

That blue flame in the beginning - MESMERIZING.

It was nice to see Cillian Murphy/Scarecrow in the beginning, and although it wouldn't be necessary at all, I would've enjoyed seeing Carmine Falcone as well just because I liked Tom Wilkinson so much in the first one.

The scene showing Batman's bruises on his back was awesome and important - because it reminds you he's only human, not one of those typical heroes who fight a 100 men and don't even get a scratch.

Batman Begins' main colour for all the posters, promo, etc. was beige/light-brownish/yellowish, Dark Knight's was blue.

Thank GOODNESS Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard was back to do the score - neither of these movies would be the same without them. The music was masterful and I'm going to buy the album like I buy a lot of Hans Zimmer albums.

The ending again was left open, and it was dark. My friend summed it up perfectly: "even as the credits are about to roll, you really have to sit back for a minute and think "wait a minute, the good guys didn't win at all". And they didn't. The only one that really comes out ahead here is Joker, accomplishing his mission to show the city just how low it can really go."

For a two and half hour movie, it wasn't long enough - you heard right. It goes by so fast and you're left wanting more. The length is justified with all the complexities involved and giving all the characters a deserving screen time. There isn't a single bad moment; it's hard to criticize anything.

Make sure you see this in IMAX - this movie was specifically MADE for IMAX - they shot several important, long scenes in IMAX and it's something to experience, like those shots of Batman gliding through the sky (and of course the incredible action scenes itself).

Movie of the year. I'm not just saying that because I'm a Batman fanatic; you can't tell me there's been a better film so far, nothing comes close. Granted there's still half a year left, so we'll just have to wait to see. This wasn't just the best Batman movie, it's one of the best movies ever made period.

Don't forget Jonathan Nolan, Chris Nolan's brother who actually wrote the story with him. This is obviously a key reason why this movie rocked.

Sequel:

I want to see The Riddler. I think he'd be sly and DANGEROUS, especially the way Nolan does films. Just think of all the puzzles and mazes he could put Batman through.

I'm going to go see The Dark Knight again. And again.

- Shayan Mannan

First Published: ADawnJournal.com Published on: Jul 29, 2008