#I love how half the fanbase has him adore apples and the other half has him unspeakably traumatized

[chocolatemilkandregrets]

An apple for your thoughts

[today-only-happens-once]

retrospection

title: retrospection

summary: Virgil finds Roman in the Mind Palace Theater after the events of Putting Others First: SvSr. 

Word count: 1549

Warnings: spoilers (obviously), self-loathing is extremely heavy here, angst in droves, hurt/comfort, cursing. 

A/N:  I wasn’t planning to write anything in reaction to POF but then this idea caught me in a flying tackle and wrestled me to the ground until I wrote it. So here it is! Posted in the spirit of the “two cakes” theory. Unedited because I just don’t have the mental or emotional energy after writing this. Might be some of my angstiest stuff yet. I’m not sure. It’s up there, for sure. No taglist because it’s short and unedited but since @creativenostalgiastuff specifically asked me to, here ya go!

...

Virgil steps into the Mind Palace Theater as quietly as he can, listening to the echoes of Roman’s final sung note reverberate against the walls of the large room. When Patton had said he was worried because Roman hadn’t returned to his room after whatever conversation had occurred following the wedding reception, Virgil had told the Moral Side he’d try to find him. He’d had a feeling that perhaps Roman would go to one of his usual spots when he was upset. 

The theater is empty, Virgil realizes as he catches the door before it can slam. Usually, when Roman performed, the Creative Side filled the rows of seats with adoring fans. Then again, as far as Virgil knew, Roman hadn’t done much in the way of performing since sentencing Thomas to attend the wedding.

Virgil stays in the back of the theater and watches Roman catch his breath. The Creative Side’s head is bowed, his hair falling unchecked into his eyes, the stage lights casting long shadows across the angular planes of his face. It makes it impossible for Virgil to see Roman’s expression from this far away.

Then Roman’s shoulders jerk with an aborted sob, and Virgil sighs.

Roman sinks, slowly, to the stage floor and Virgil slips his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and starts to walk down the aisle towards the stage. Roman doesn’t seem to notice, pulling a knee up to his chest and burying his face in his arms perched on top of it.

Virgil sniffs as he gets closer in an effort to make his presence known without demanding a response. Roman doesn’t even look up, but the way he freezes for half of a beat is enough to let the Anxious Side know that Roman is aware he’s not alone. It’s something, at least.

Roman is sitting on the edge of the stage thrust, and Virgil jumps up onto it to sit beside him. There’s a long moment when neither of them says anything. Virgil’s hands fidget in his lap as he listens to the way Roman’s sniffles and shaky exhales fill the space around them. He doesn’t look at Roman—not much, anyway—in a perhaps flimsy attempt to let Roman feel that he still had an element of privacy.

But the quiet stretches on, and Virgil starts to feel that perhaps Roman is waiting for him to speak first. So he does.

“No adoring fanbase today?”

Roman sighs. “Best not, after that performance.” He lifts his head, and Virgil counts it as a small and fleeting victory. “How much of it did you hear?”

Roman doesn’t look at him when he asks, but Virgil looks at him when answers. “Not much,” he replies honestly. “The last note.”

Roman’s voice is almost as dull as his eyes, staring blankly at the rows and rows of vacant audience seats the stretch out before them. “I was sharp on the last note. My voice kept—” His voice wavers, then breaks off. Virgil glances over and sees the bob to his Adam’s apple as he swallows. Then he huffs a humorless breath. “Well. That.”

Virgil opens his mouth to reply but Roman cuts him off. “I’ve sung that song probably a million times but I guess now I can just add it to the long list of things I can’t seem to do right.”

Virgil feels something—like dread but sharper—ripple down his spine. His gaze flashes to Roman. “That’s not fair.”

There’s a twitch to Roman’s jaw. “Isn’t it?”

Virgil swallows. “Roman—”

“I was cruel to you. For years, Virgil.” Roman glances at him then, but he averts his gaze a moment later as if too ashamed to meet his eyes. “And then you left, and I eventually realized how badly I’d messed up, and I started doing better. Or, I thought I was. And then Thomas got broken up with, and my efforts to salvage what was left of his heart only led to more pain and I hurt you and I hurt Patton and by extension, I hurt Thomas. I write some song lyrics a few months later and nobody likes them. What’s worse is they’re right to not like them—some of them were like something Remus would have come up with.”

Virgil’s chest clenches at the disgust that drips from Roman’s voice as he speaks. “Roman—”

“I was the reason that Thomas missed the reading of Joan’s play, remember? Because one cute boy gave us the time of day, and I made Thomas choose him first over them. And then I let myself get manipulated into parading around this very same stage in an effort to appease my own sense of guilt over it all. I continued to be mean to Logan, calling him names and calling him stupid which couldn’t be further from the truth.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “I was just… angry, and jealous, and I lashed out at an easy target because I’m just incapable of not hurting you all.” Roman’s hands curl around his biceps and grip.

“Roman,” Virgil repeats firmly, but Roman shakes his head and wipes a hand across his mouth and presses on.

“And-and then the callback comes around, and I think finally, y’know? Finally a sign that I could do something right. Finally my ambition is a good thing that helps Thomas rather than hurts him. But even that was wrong, because Thomas—because I—wanted so damn badly to go to that callback, he decided he wasn’t a good person. So I tried to make him do the right thing, because I can make that sacrifice if it means that for once I didn’t screw up.”

Virgil sees a sheen to Roman’s eyes, and the Creative Side quickly brushes at his eyes. He still won’t look at Virgil.

“And then today—“ and Roman’s voice breaks. Virgil watches as Roman’s grip on his own arms tightens even more and the Anxious Side worries that he’s going to leave bruises. Roman stops and takes a breath, his eyes screwing shut. “Today I learn that I couldn’t even get that right. I side with Janus, and I’m the bad guy.”

Virgil startles. He told them his name? He quickly shakes his head, filing away the information to deal with at a later time.

Roman doesn’t even seem to have noticed. “I side with Patton, and I’m still the bad guy. I just… I don’t know what it takes to be the good guy, Virgil. I thought… I thought—”

“Hey,” Virgil says, as softly as he can, reaching a hand out and covering Roman’s on his arm. Hoping to ease the death grip he has. “Roman, you are a good guy. You’re Thomas’s hero, after all.”

There’s a strange, choked noise in the back of Roman’s throat and he wrenches away from Virgil’s grip, scrambling to his feet. He stalks several steps away, his back to the Anxious Side, and Virgil feels suddenly… lost. That used to always be a comfort to Roman. Something he clung to in his darker moments.

But something anguished had flooded into the Prince’s eyes when Virgil had said that, and Virgil…

Virgil doesn’t understand why.

“Not anymore, Virgil,” he chokes out in a strained voice. “Thomas doesn’t—I’m not—”

Virgil blinks a few times, his brow furrowing. Slowly, he pushes himself to his feet. “Roman, what are you saying?”

Roman whirls around, his fists clenching and his eyes red and watering. “Spare me the faux ignorance, Anxiety! Janus as much as confirmed that Thomas was lying to me about that. So I know. I know I failed him one too many times now. I know Thomas doesn’t… he doesn’t…” Roman clenches his jaw and averts his gaze again, his expression crumpling.

Virgil glances away, turning that over. That… didn’t make sense. Because Virgil knew—he knew—that Thomas did, in fact, see Roman as his hero. Virgil doesn’t know what Janus told him, or why (because when he thinks about it, even for a moment, he can’t understand why Janus would lie about something like that to Roman), but he knows that Roman is wrong.

Virgil takes a step towards Roman. “Bullshit,” he snaps. “You are his hero. Thomas loves you, Roman. We all do.”

“Shut up!” Roman snaps back. “Why—why do you all keep saying that?”

Virgil takes another step. “Because it’s the truth, Princey.”

Virgil watches as Roman blinks, and the tears that had been brimming in his eyes track down his cheeks. Roman doesn’t scrub them away, either, instead shaking his head.

“I don’t—I don’t understand,” Roman manages, his eyes searching with a desperation that only further tightens the clench in Virgil’s chest. “I’m not… I keep… I don’t deserve it. I—”

Virgil is close enough now to grab him, so he does. He grabs Roman by the arm and yanks him in. Roman stumbles, but Virgil catches him, holding him close with one arm wrapped around his back and the other threading up through his hair to keep him in place.

“Listen to me, Roman,” Virgil says in the Prince’s ear. “We—all of us—love you. We do. We have, we do, and we will. We will say it and we will show it in as many ways as you need until you can believe it yourself.”

He feels Roman’s grip against his own back fist in his sweatshirt. Something like a sob wracks through Roman’s chest, and it’s like a dam breaking open.

Virgil just holds on as tight as he can.

[fmdjoomi]

introducing mimi., the leader, main vocal and rapper of calypso...

what’s up guys? it’s yaz back at it again with another muse. this time around, i have joomi here. i had a muse of the same name before, but this joomi has a completely different background and all that jazz. i hope you guys like her and if you’re interesting in plotting, let me know by liking this post and i’ll message you. 

joomi’s history + personality:

for starters, joomi’s mother, seoyoung, was the absolute worst. she was a beautiful woman that used her looks and charms to practically con men out of their money. she left a trail of broken hearts behind her throughout her late teens up until her mid twenties until she met joomi’s father, jinho. 

jinho fell head over heels in love with the image of seoyoung, completely fooled by her charm and charisma. within a year of meeting one another, he asked her to marry him. she agreed, despite not really loving him back. she was just interested in what he could do for her financially. 

a few months after their marriage, she found out that she was pregnant with joomi. she was less than thrilled to say the least. she wasn’t even thirty yet and she was going to ruin her figure for some snotty nosed brat? hel no. unfortunately (in her eyes) she had to go through with the pregnancy. on february 14th of 1990, she gave birth to a baby girl - joomi. 

seoyoung couldn’t stand joomi, but jinho considered joomi to be the apple of his eye. he adored her and drowned her in attention, gifts and everything she could ever need or want. of course this didn’t make seoyoung happy. she was used to having all of jinho’s attention and she didn’t want anyone else having it - not even her own child. 

the arguments between her parents (mainly on seoyoung’s side, jinho was too much of a gentle, kind man to ever raise his voice, even when he was angry) and joomi was a witness to almost all of those arguments. it gave her a pretty warped view of her mother honestly. it wasn’t like they were particularly close to begin with, but seeing her mother verbally and sometimes physically attack her father left a bad taste in her mouth. 

by the time joomi was four years old, seoyoung had filed for divorce and was going to take her with her, but jinho refused to let her have joomi. it was the only time he actually raised his voice at seoyoung, which was enough to make her see that she wasn’t going to win that battle. so she signed away her parental rights, took her divorce settlement and left. 

not even two years later, jinho’s father had moved on with joomi’s nanny, which she didn’t mind at all. she saw her nanny more like a mother than her actual mother anyway. and not too long after that, her new stepmother and her father welcomed a baby into the world - joomi’s younger half sibling (gonna send in a wanted connection for that *wink wink nudge nudge*) 

her stepmother was the one who introduced joomi to singing. she used to sing and dance with her when she was really little, and as she got older, her stepmother could see the potential in her. she was the one who convinced her father to sign her up for singing lessons. to this day, joomi is extremely grateful towards her stepmother for being her introduction to music. 

when she was fifteen years old, she began auditioning for different labels and companies. she was accepted into bc entertainment and dimensions - she ended up going with the latter, a decision she kind of regrets. if she went with bc, she would’ve found more success because she most likely would’ve debuted with lily, but she loves her girls too much to ever truly regret her decision. 

there were times where she felt like throwing in the towel and giving up, but joomi was quite the stubborn one. even though she had to balance her school life with training, she never allowed her exhaustion or frustration to get the best of her. 

it didn’t help that her life outside of training had gone through ups and downs as well. she was fifteen years old when she developed her first real crush on someone - a cute boy at school. she was completely unaware of the fact that he was a total fuckboy. she ended up losing her virginity to him, something that he spread around school, leading people to think of her as “easy”. 

as a teen she was still softhearted and forgiving. she was a hopeless romantic that would melt whenever a guy told her that they liked her, just long enough for them to talk her into sleeping with them before they dropped her. she wanted someone who would treat her like how her father treated her stepmother. and they would treat her really well, until they got what they wanted from her.

this happened two or three more times before joomi finally realized what was going on and she became emotionally closed off. from that moment on, she swore that she would never let anyone in to hurt her like that again.

she finally debuted in dimensions’ newest girl group at the time, calypso, as the leader, main vocalist and rapper. the weight of being the leader of a group of girls weighed heavily on her shoulders, and when they lost members not even a year into their career, she couldn’t help but feel like an embarrassment in the eyes of the public. 

the feeling of embarrassment only grew tenfold when they lost yet another member two years after they debuted. she knew that there was nothing she could have done, but at the same time she also felt as though it would reflect badly on her. what kind of leader couldn’t keep their group together? 

it was frustrating, to say the absolute least, to never have their hard work pay off. from the moment they debuted, joomi made sure that she pushed her members to be the best that they could possibly be. but it seemed as though they couldn’t catch a break no matter what. no matter how much joomi forced them to practice, how much she forced them to sing songs over and over again until they got it right, they still couldn’t seem to make their songs stick with the general public. 

calypso wasn’t pulling in the kind of money that dimensions wanted them to, which meant that joomi and the girls were slower when it came to paying off trainee debt, and didn’t get much when it came to allowances.

not wanting to live off of her father’s money, despite him practically begging her to take it, she decided to find other ways to make money for herself and calypso. she had seen other idols make the journey into acting, and she had heard that it could become a lucrative career. 

in the beginning, acting was just a way to make extra money for her. she wasn’t amazing at it, but she was good enough to land a supporting role here and there, which made her realize that she rather enjoyed acting. it was a nice change from singing and dancing, and while singing would always be her first love and the most important thing in her life, acting was something else that she wanted to continue pursuing. she also knows that it’s a very good career to transition into once she lays her idol days to rest. 

personality wise, joomi’s learned how to be more or less aloof. she doesn’t let people in easily because she doesn’t want to run the risk of being hurt yet again. she can, begrudgingly, understand why her mother behaved the way she did. getting hurt by someone was way too big of a risk. in the words of yuna: i’d rather be selfish, hundred times better than pretending to be nice and getting hurt.

however, she’s very loyal and so protective of and attentive to her group members. calypso’s fans call her “mama mimi” because of the motherly role she plays in the group. 

honestly, she loves calypso’s sexier concept. she thrives with those concepts, and she likes feeling sexy. it’s v empowering for her. she doesn’t like it because it gets her attention, she likes it because of how it personally makes her feel. 

mimi’s image

as not only the leader of calypso but the eldest member as well, joomi is often seen as the “mom” of the group. she’s often seen taking care of her members - feeding them, covering them with blankets when given clothing on the shorter side and coming to their defense whenever they need her. it’s a role that she had fallen into rather easily, especially given her age and seniority. their fans have taken to calling her “mama mimi” as a joke because of this, but it’s something she takes in stride and even encourages from time to time by playfully introducing herself as “mama mimi” whenever calypso has to introduce themselves.

on the flip side of that, being someone who connects more with their sexier concepts, it’s no surprise that joomi is one of the sexier members in the group. where she lacks in dancing technique, she makes up for in stage presence and sex appeal, some people even going as far as to say that she “does too much” on stage or even that she “makes them uncomfortable” by how much she gives her all in sexy concepts. however, seeing as how their main fanbase, which consists of men, don’t seem to mind her onstage persona, dimensions does little to nothing to try to change her image, as it’s worked for her for the time being.

[bronyinabottle]

A PERFECT PEAR + BRIEF SEASON 7 SO FAR THOUGHTS

Perfect Pear is the kind of episode not anyone ever expected we would ever get. There was always the hope that they'd at least get explicitly mentioned and sometimes something Applejack did led to things being added to theories regarding her parents. But we always had thought it was just too dark for this show to cover what the staff has told us for a long while: the fact that AJ's (and by extension Big Mac and Apple Bloom’s as well) parents are deceased.

But perhaps what might be the most significant episode of this season manages to not only deliver this premise with plenty of tact. But easily one of the most emotional yet positive episode despite the strong implication that the two characters we're told the story about are deceased in the current time of the show. We're not exactly told how they died, but I don't think that was the point. The episode is closer to an eulogy, most don't mention the story of how they died, they celebrate the life that they had and the impact on others especially within their own families.

This episode was also another guest starring episode. Though a little more subtle compared to when we got Weird Al and Lena Hall where they both had big songs to provide the episode with. William Shatner plays Grand Pear. And while he doesn't sing, he still gives a pretty proper performance for the character. And it's just another of those MLP episodes that manage to bring in a celebrity without making the episode's point just "*insert celebrity* is in MLP". I think it's great they just fit in even guests as if they were a regular voice actor.

I think the only weird part of the episode is during the flashback scenes where we get the background of the Apple and Pear feud. When we first see Bright Mac and Pear Butter (The names of AJ's parents) they're babies and that even seems to even be the moment Bright Mac first gets strong feelings for Pear Butter. Yet they have the same voices as their adult selves it seems like. The scene could of easily been fixed by aging them up and having them meet as pre-teens/teens or something I think. I feel like maybe there was a miscommunication between the animation team and the VAs but for some reason they didn't fix it. It's a real minor thing in the episode overall but still probably the only part that might bug some people.

If there was any doubt left about if AJ's parents were deceased. It should of been pretty much all cleared up once you get to Burnt Oak's scene. Just by his facial expression you just get that strong implications that his dear old friend Bright Mac that we hear in the story is no longer with them. That's when you really know that if somehow they turn up not dead it will be a cop out of the highest degree. Especially at the very end when Big Mac stays behind slightly to ask if they can come back occasionally to hear more stories. And those tears in Burnt Oak's face just say it all.

And the song we get from Pear Butter to Bright Mac basically makes them perhaps no contest the best written romantic relationship in the entire show. They're a cute couple anyone could get behind and they have plenty of adorable moments just in that once scene with not just the song but a little before and after. And while it is a bit of a cliche to have a romance like this between two members of feuding families in a Romeo and Juliet kind of way I think nonetheless the show manages to show it in a way that's still great. With so many episodes we're bound to cover ground that most other cartoons have but sometimes certain ones turn it into something special. And that's what this episode did.

And as much as Grand Pear isn't given the best light in the flashbacks. It just becomes more tragic when you realize what with how many years have passed he came to regret not connecting. And possibly never even gotten the chance to speak with her one last time whenever she died. So the tears he sheds when the Apple siblings come to talk to him are just all the more heartbreaking.

But it all ends in one last heartwarming moment as the Apple Siblings, Granny Smith, and Grand Pear all gather to see the trees that Bright Mac and Pear Butter planted to twist around each other that now serves as a memento of the two and the love they had for another. They're gone, but their impact lives on in their family and friends. And that's perhaps the strongest way the show could of covered something as deep as a death without actually saying it or telling how they died. It's all-in-all one of the most special episodes ever and an instant classic in this show's history. Really good job done with this episode to everyone involved.

And oh yeah, we're at the halfway point of the season so I suppose it's fair to give a halftime thoughts on the season. And I have to say I have been very pleasantly surprised with this season. I was afraid this season would be like Season 6 given it's for the most part led by a B-Team and new writers since a lot of more well-known writers moved to help with the movie. But Season 7 has been looking to be one of the better seasons. I'd arguably say it's had the best start to a season since Season 4. I'm not saying the entire first half was that amazing there was some episodes that were more to the eh side of things. But I feel a lot more refreshed at this point of the season then I was through the first half of Season 6. Episodes like Parental Glidance, A Royal Problem, and of course A Perfect Pear have been highlights of this season for me and I'm pretty hyped to see what else this season has in store for us. There is one particular episode coming  I'm particularly excited for (Hint: Listed as episode 22 of the Season) if it means what I think it means regarding what little info we have of the episode. But we'll have to wait and see.

Next thoughts we return to more regular episodes that probably won't be as heartstring pulling as this episode. But next one is going to be another of those meta episodes. Between the show and the fanbase pretty much. Seeya then