#I love how anytime I draw captain underpants I HAVE to put my all into rendering

[troubldteenz]

hoonkshoo

[pirate-autobot]

The Experiment: Ch. 8

In which Red Agate is so done, and Yellow Sapphire finds his spirit animal.

Captain Underpants gem au by @angerydj

The paint balloon mess was just the start. How Red Agate wished to never have known the gems Red Zircon and Yellow Sapphire. 

Like his reputation was slowly being undermined by the boys that tormented him and his school, theirs only grew stronger. The two were the biggest troublemakers in school. Maybe in the whole colony.

The balloons were a start. The next catastrophe they caused came four months later. A “food fight” broke out in the cafeteria. Blue Agate was shocked. Red Agate tried pinning the twin terrors, but they did not take the blame, nobody did.

Several months later, they called it a “practical joke”. The PA system was rigged to play music by some Earth singer. Strange Mike, or something. Once again, Red Zircon and Yellow Sapphire took no blame. They had their own alibis. However, Orange Peridot proved his use and warned him before the music started playing. But even then it was too late to stop it.

The children danced to the music. Dancing was dangerous. It led to connections with each other, it led to love, it led to fusion... dancing was dangerous.

There was also the time they rigged their teachers chair with a spring, launching her into the ceiling as soon as she sat down, then the squirrel infestation, a bucket of paint fell on another teachers head as soon as he opened the classroom door, then chemically altering the cleaning solution, filling the school with giant purple bubbles!

This went on for years!

Red Agate was ready to poof those gems, and bubble them, then shove those bubbles in his reef where nobody would find them! Yes!

But there was no proof that either gems committed the acts. It seemed like every time there was a prank, the cameras weren’t working or nobody was around to witness anything. The infants were too smart for their own good. They were going to trip up one day. And when he caught them, oh Red Agate would deal them their, as the humans say, “just desserts.”

Something inside of him, nagging him in the back of his head, it kept... laughing. It kept saying calm down, and let them be happy.

We were like that...

Once...

“There is no we, there is only me!” Red Agate yelled

The phrase had become a mantra of sorts. Anytime he has those thoughts, any time something tries to creep and call out of the back if his mind, he would repeat the phrase.

But the worst of the two gems was the fact that they kept drawing! They made something called “comic books” with bizarre characters. They had a sense of humor that only the infant gems seemed to understand. One character flew around in what humans called “underpants”. It was rude, vulgar, “potty humor”, and they... were actually kind of funny.

Red Agate organized one drawer in his office cabinet where all the confiscated comics and various other paraphernalia was collected. One special drawer for Yellow Sapphire and Red Zircon.

Okay, so they weren’t ALL that bad. Their pranks were downright awful, and the comics were atrocious, but something about them... Something was familiar.

He did have a break one day, when Yellow Sapphire came to school alone. He looked saddened and kept pulling his hair down over the left side of his face. It was on the day of a “field trip”. The infant gems would be brought out to the beach, but not the town. It was for some reason in science, studying the waves and ecosystem or some other stuff like that.

Red Agate took it upon himself to accompany the class.

NOT because he was worried. But none of the teachers were amethysts or quartzs. And he didn’t want to bother Blue Agate.

On top of all that, some of the gems were learning to summon their weapons. He needed to keep an eye on them to make sure nobody got hurt.

All of the infant gems were fascinated by the world beyond their colony. It was kind of fun to watch at first. Then it got annoying.

“Don’t eat the sand! Take those shells out of your mouth!” Red Agate yelled. One infant gem was lying on the ground covering her eyes. “What did I say about staring at the sun?! GEMS!” He summoned his whip and cracked it in the air. “SINGLE FILE LINE!” The infant gems scurried alongside the beach to line up.

Red Agate rubbed his face. This was supposed to be his break! No pranks, no jokes, no Red Zircon and Yellow Sapphire conspiring against him. Why can’t he ever have a break without going to his reef?

“Is everyone here?” Their zircon teacher asked

“Principal Agate!” Orange Peridot raised his hand. Red Agate groaned then turned around with a fake smile. Some of the infants cringed at the sight.

“Yes, Peridot?” He asked

“Yellow Sapphire went into the water.” Peridot said, adjusting his visor, a smug grin on his face.

“Thank you, Peridot.” Red Agate groaned, stomping through the waves into the ocean.

He spotted the sapphire quickly. He was... right by Red Agates reef.

“No no no get away from that!” He yelled, running. The gem shoved something into his hair before he was picked up roughly.

“Hey!” Yellow Sapphire protested.

“Don’t ‘hey’ me! Why did you wander off?” Red Agate asked, holding the gem out in front of him. The sapphire looked away.

“W-well, I saw something. But when I got here, it was gone.” He answered. Red Agate rolled his eyes and put Yellow Sapphire down.

“What did you take?” He crossed his arms. Yellow Sapphire held a spot in his hair.

“Take? I didn’t take anything.” He said, taking a few hesitant steps back.

“Then what’s in your hair, bub?” Red Agate asked, reaching towards the infants hair.

“No! Leave him alone!” Yellow Sapphire turned away, keeping his hair out of reach. Red Agate paused.

“Him?” He asked. Despite them being underwater, he swore he saw a tear in the sapphires eye. He stood up straight and sighed.

“Walk.” He said, pointing to the shore. Yellow Sapphires head drooped forward as he obeyed. Something suddenly caught his eye above them.

“There it is!” He cried out, pointing at the creature swimming overhead.

“Hey, keep walking!” Red Agate said loudly. He took Yellow Sapphires hand and  started to drag him away.

“What are they? They’re so pretty!” The infant gem asked. Red Agate stopped to observe the creatures.

“They’re called dolphins, okay? I know there’s more stuff about them in the library. Now come on.” Red Agate answered impatiently, successfully dragging the infant gem two more feet before he made a sound of surprise. “What now?!”

“My gem is glowing!” He responded.

Red Agate soun around. Sure enough, the yellow gem was shining brightly. The sapphire was bouncing on his heels in excitement. He put a hand on his gem and closed his eye, trying to focus on whatever was supposed to come out. Red Agate squinted as the light shined brighter. Yellow Sapphires opened his eye, and was amazed by the shield in his hand.

He even pointedly out the dolphins swimming around the center.

“My weapon is a shield!” He said. He put a hand on his hair. “I wish you were here, George.” Red Agate clicked his heels together and once more took Yellow Sapphires hand, dragging him back to the beach. The small gem kept holding onto his shield with a smile on his face. He waved it around and held the edge.

“Do not throw that!” Red Agate said, glancing down at the infant.

Finally, they reached the beach. All of the infants were still lined up. Red Agate let go of Yellow Sapphire at the end. The gem looked put over the waters. His eyes shined at the sight of a dolphin leaping from the waves. His shield vanished from his hands.

Red Agate raised an eyebrow. He expected the gem to be showing off the shield before it disappeared. Where was Red Zircon?

Something suddenly glowed from within Yellow Sapphires hair. He stepped back as a white form emerged. It solidified and fell on him.

“Hey George.” Yellow Sapphire said

“Hey Harold.” Red Zircon said

Red Agate picked them both up.

The Zircon no longer had the rounded hair. Rather, he had a flat top. He now had gloves that went to his elbows and a yellow and red tie below his gem.

“Alright gems, let's go.” Red Agate said, following the infant line back to the colony.