#I love how 'Totty' was used once and all of them ran off with it TT_TT

[amitywrights]

I've been rewatching Osomatsu-san and have been keeping track of the times the brothers have said each other's names/nicknames because I have always wondered about it so yeah this is very self-indulgent TT_TT but I will be sharing it below.

Note!

1. Included are Seasons 1-3 and The Movie (2019), however I did not include AUs apart from F6 and Girlymatsu, and skipped over recap episodes as well as ending songs and previews

2. I did not include times when their names was said but it wasn't pertaining to them specifically so things like "Osomatsu-kun/-san" as titles or "Karamatsu Girls"

3. I did not count the times where a brother would refer to them as a whole like when Karamatsu would say "brothers" or when Totty says "niisan-tachi" (brothers)

4. The term "niisan"/ "chounan" (older brother) and "suekko" (youngets child) are counted only if they are used as a non descriptor so things like "I'm the eldest", and "Todomatsu, the youngest" do not count. However, they sometimes translate as nicknames based on context so things like "Share with your big bro" and "Come on, little bro" count, I hope this made sense lol

5. This is not 100% accurate 'cause I might miss some, especially when they aren't put into the subs but I did my best to compile it :DD



Season 1



Season 2



Season 3

MOVIE

Final Tally!

Link if you wanna see better

That out if the way, let's award some NEETs yeah?

Below will be the ranking of: Who's name they said the most/least, and who said their name the most/least :DD (Apart from themselves ofc)

Osomatsu

Said the most: Todomatsu (80)

Said the least: Jyushimatsu (50)

Said his name most: Todomatsu (45)

Said his name least: Ichimatsu (13)

Karamatsu

Said the most: Jyushimatsu (51)

Said the least: Ichimatsu (20)

Said his name most: Osomatsu (51)

Said his name least: Ichimatsu (22)

Choromatsu

Said the most: Todomatsu (55)

Said the least: Osomatsu (29)

Said his name most: Todomatsu (70)

Said his name least: Ichimatsu (13)

Ichimatsu

Said the most: Jyushimatsu (59)

Said least: Osomatsu & Choromatsu (13)

Said his name most: Osomatsu (68)

Said his name least: Karamatsu (20)

Jyushimatsu

Said the most: Osomatsu (40)

Said the least: Choromatsu (23)

Said his name most: Ichimatsu (59)

Said his name least: Choromatsu (34)

Todomatsu

Said the most: Choromatsu (70)

Said the least: Karamatsu (31)

Said his name most: Osomatsu (80)

Said his name least: Karamatsu & Jyushimatsu (37)

.

.

Has the most names: Choromatsu (19)

Has the least names: Todomatsu (6)

Mannn I love this, hope you guys enjoyed the data as much as I did lol. If you find mistakes feel free to correct!! And also, ask questions if you have them :DD

My thoughts in tags! Add your thoughts as well I wanna see how mad you guys go with this info

[tottymatsuno]

Can you please rank them from worst to best house husband? I need this list for reasons…

You... I just turnt anon on my beloved. Ilu tho bc I'm about to learn ya a thing or two. I'm gonna use some slight gendered language sorry edit I misread and did it best to worst whoops

1matsu. Ichimatsu is a domesticated cat, he thrives in a clean environment and will take the initiative to make it clean himself. In episodes that involve a Matsuno trying to make their living situation more hospitable for all of them it is Ichimatsu who takes the lead. He will cook, clean and cuddle you bc he knows you've worked hard. He will bitch at you, he will nag at you and he will cuss u tf out if you purposefully make a mess or do not appreciate his hard work but he's also really chill and good at reading the mood so he would be an excellent person to vent to! Ichimatsu would get to know your neighbors for you because he knows you're too busy sometimes but would like to stay in the loop. Very considerate partner, definitely will buy you snacks and would be mindful of the budget. Romance wise it'd be awkward initially when you move in together but would quickly settle into a veey quiet and passionate life long romance. Lots of quietly doing your own things while lying on the others lap. Lots of kisses that he would get embarrassed by and run away even tho he kissed you. Yall have been married for five years and he still can't look you in the eyes after making out. 8/10 great husband. 2 points docked bc you'll have to live a life smelling like sardines and he does shit in a litterbox sometimes.

Osomatsu imo is 2. Now don't shoot me for saying this but Osomatsu is someone who is adversed to growing up so it would take more of an emotional bribe for him to actually change but once he does and realizes that he's still young, he can still see his brothers everyday, that the affection of having his own smaller family that loves him despite his flaws... I think that'd inspire him to want to be a better person for them. He realistically would be someone you needed to baby at first, someone you'd get mad at often bc holy shit Osomatsu!! You just cleaned that! But I think when push came to shove a few things would set in after he tested the waters to see if you'd leave him. If you got sick or god forbid pregnant Osomatsu would look around and think "ah. I'm being a burden. How can I help right now?" and it'd start with him cleaning up. When you thank Osomatsu earnestly he has a bit of an identity crisis, is he still piece of shit Osomatsu? Is it okay?? And then he'd clean more and more everyday. He'd taper off of drinking so much and oh god Osomatsu just opened a savings account... He's not gambling but is instead trying to actually manage the household like an adult should! Responsible Osomatsu finally acting proper because he loves you so much and you're the best thing that ever happened to him. Why would Osomatsu want to stay a piece of shit forever when he has someone to inspire him to be a good husband? In terms of romance I think it'd initially start off making you feel like you're in middle school again bc of how juvenile it'd be. But in a good way! Everything would feel so new and the butterflies would never end bc we saw how happy Osomatsus wife was in the 1st ep of s2. 7/10 because you will lose hundreds of thousands of yen investing in his hobosexual ass before he gives u something better than mediocre head.

My personal fave and wife Totty! Todomatsu is someone who wants to be loved, cherished and wanted. He wants to love and most importantly be loved wholly in return. The issues are though that he's lazy and inconsiderate and will try to manipulate you into spoiling him. Like that scene with him using Matsuyo's expensive toner and then telling her she ran out. Todomatsu will see you work a full time work week and ask you to massage his shoulders bc his part time job was that hard! Now his good points are he wouldn't be a fulltime househusband like the others, he would actually have a job. To lord over you and make you feel sorry for your poor sweet Totty. But if Todomatsu saw you were legitimately having a tough day he would cook a nice meal or if he were too tired would let you pick take out. Watching comedy shows with him would be fun, and Totty would be the first to ask for a pet! "Let's pretend its a trial run for our baby!" either as a joke or srs depending on ur preference for children. Todomatsu would buy you spontaneous gifts always with your preference and tastes in mind. He's not the best at being emotionally honest and Todomatsu will try to hurt your feelings if his were slighted first. A real tic for tat kinda guy but Totty would be the first to want to hold you and help in any way he can. He wants you to love and praise him forever so Todomatsu generally tries to stay on your good side. He can't clean though and Todomatsu has only learned a few dishes from his mother but in terms of life partners he's a good one. 6/10 bc he's petty and rude and the type to point out you ate his leftovers like 8 yrs back when losing an argument.

Karamatsu would try! Oh god would he try!! He starts off with this expectation that because Karamatsu loves you more than anything and even himself that it would easy to serve you like he was offering his very soul at the alter. But those delusions of grandeur would fall short of both of your expectations. It'd be cute at first! Karamatsu would looove if you depended on him! But the thing is that if he had nothing else to do but keep things clean, grocery shop and run household errands he'd go crazy! Karamatsu would start inventing reasons to go on journeys or at the very least would miss you too much and would insist on dropping you off and picking you up from work. Yall would need to get a dog but Karamatsu would be too shy to ask for another companion when he already has you as his eternal life partner! Dude would get bored tho lol and start getting uppity. You'd need to reel him in w affection and spoiling him too just as much. Karamatsu doesn't need a normal spouse, a lowkey one would be great but in reality he needs someone just as fucking insane as he is. Really needs a hype man bc he's gonna hype you tf up and if you cant match his energy he's gonna start ripping your carpet out bc he needs enrichment. Being in love with Karamatsu would be fairytale sweet but it would take him some time to actually adjust and start buying you gifts you actually like and not pulling moves and lines from cliche movies. 4.8/10 bc it might get grating after a while and also he's very accident prone so you can stand replacing so many walls and doors. Also he needs lots of attention.

Jyushimatsu is probably in a tier of his own which is: If you like it I love it. Jyushimatsu is very energetic, the smiles and laughter wouldn't end! But when he's in love he calms down considerably and can be serious enough. It's very sweet seeing how earnest he is and how relaxing Jyushimatsu finds your presence. Mornings are animated, evenings are softer and it's so easy to relax with him until you remember Jyushi embodies the comedy rules of funny. Things will get resolved with a punchline whether you like it or not, things will change and since the boy can alter reality it'd be a lot going on at once. Lots of kissing and handholding and ppl probably think it's very innocent and go "aww, how cute" but Jyushimatsu is probably knocking your boots clear off on the reg. You'll probably be fine cuz him love you but yeah you're gonna need to be dynamic to keep yourself from going crazy. Ya house ain't too messy and you do have to teach him how to clean but he's eager to help you and he does spends some of your money on candy and toys and the conversation you have to have with Jyushimatsu when you see his bank account is gonna be a mess. -10/10 for withholding martial assests. 1000/10 for ultimate Jyushimatsu experience.

Choromatsu is my least favorite since the movie and if u were looking forward to him ig I can go thru it but I'm not gonna be very kind. He pretends to do ur taxes but doesn't file them or know how to actually do it. He gets an inflated ego when you start dating and doesn't stop bragging about how lucky you are. Real incel vibes but you love it. He can be sweet sometimes but those times are a bit rare since he's spending your money on idol and anime merch. Choromatsu would at least probably give good head ig so maybe there's that to look forward to. He'd be cute during the courting stage of the relationship but would grow much too complacent during the actual marriage. Choromatsu promised his mama he'd have kids first so there's that element of pressure. After a while you hear him tell you "we're already married so what's the point pretending to be all lovey dovey still?" even though he's still in love with you. He's more caught up in the perception of himself rather than being super good at being a husband. Yall apartment isn't a mess by a long shot but only a few days out of the week is it truly clean. You can't motivate him because even though he doesn't have a job he's married anyways. There's good times and bad times but ultimately it's just a bit bland. He can be funny though so you stay. 2/10 don't look at his porn stash though.

[imaginesforyourfandom]

Loving Her: Alex Morgan - Chapter 6

Warning: I am going to warn all of you that towards the end of the chapter there are some heavy topics in terms of coming out and religious views. I don’t think it will trigger anyone, but better safe than sorry. 

Questions, Questions, and More Questions...

(Y/N) POV:

I groaned slightly when my alarm clock went off. I tried to move, but realized I had another person snuggled into me.

“Alex” I groaned a little trying to reach my arm out to turn off the alarm. “I got to turn it off.”

The forward let out a little groan of her own before moving a little to let me turn off the alarm. Once it was off, I turned and pulled her back into me. She lifted her head slightly and I could see how tired she was. I brushed a little bit of hair out of her face as she gave me a small smile.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” I mumbled as she leaned in to give me a small kiss. It was the day after our little mini party in Time Square. We had media day today and I could tell it was going to be a long day for her. Media days were always worse on her because of her status within the team.

“I just want to stay in bed with you all day.” She buried her face into my neck as I ran my fingers through her hair.

“I know my love.” I kissed the top of her head as she sat up when her phone dinged. She picked it up and was looking down at her phone. I rubbed her back a little as I was still laying next to her.

“It’s too early for this.” She mumbled as she tossed her phone down and turned to lay back into me.

“We got to get up soon.”

“I know. How does your foot feel?”

“Better. Dawn said that once we get to England, I can start regular training instead of all the light stuff I’ve been doing.”

“That’s good. It’s not the same with you not in training.”

“You just like staring at me” I joked as she let out a laugh.

“I can’t help it…you’re so cute.” She grinned kissing my cheek. I turned and kissed her as she gripped my jaw taking control of the kiss. Before things could go further, there was banging on our door. I dropped my head letting out a breath as she stood and went to open the door.

“Good Morning” Kelley said with a smile on her face. I rolled my eyes as I stood up.

“Good Morning Kelley”

“Did you two just get up?” she asked looking between us.

“Not all of us like getting up early Kelley.”

“I don’t either, but Becky’s my roommate right now which means I’m rising early right now!”

“Sucks for you” I said kissing Alex’s cheek before going into the bathroom. When I came out, Kelley was gone.

“She went to bother Allie so that we could get dressed.”

I nodded my head as I grabbed my clothes for the day. I knew we all had to wear similar outfits, so I didn’t need to put much creativity into what I was wearing. Alex quickly changed before we both headed out the door to meet up with the rest of the team.

“Where are we going first?” I heard Mal ask as we approached our teammates.

“Good Morning America and then we will go to Twitter’s headquarters” Pinoe said as she looked in our direction. “Oh! There’s the happy couple. Nice of you to finally join us.”

“It’s okay. I know you were missing us…” I joked walking towards Pinoe who pulled me into a hug.

“I’m stealing her Alex…”

“I’ll be sure to let Sue know…” Pinoe immediately pushed me back towards Alex as I laughed.

“No offence…” Pinoe said to me as Alex wrapped one arm around my shoulder and rested her hand and head on my other shoulder.

“You’re not exactly my type.”

“I’m everyone’s type so let’s establish that…” I laughed as we then were told to get ready to exit the building. We made our way to the cars as I got in one with Alex, Allie, and Kelley. The camera crew was also in the car with us. The car ride to GMA didn’t feel that long as we arrived relatively quickly.

“Hello, we are here at GM..A” I said to the camera as the girls were dancing behind me. “Good Morning America” We then were directed behind the stage where Hozier was playing.

“You look cute.” I said to Alex who smiled at me.

“You shouldn’t flirt with me…” she said as I pouted. “I’m in a relationship…my girlfriend’s kind of mean too.”

I grinned at her as they then motioned for us walk out. I laughed when Kelley and Allie started teasing Alex as we stepped out for the interview with Michael Strahan. The whole thing seemed to fly by in my opinion because next thing I knew we were leaving and heading to get food really quick before we had to be at the Twitter HQ.

I ended up at a table with Alex, Allie, Kelley, Pinoe, Ash, and Ali. I was next to Alex and across from Pinoe. I ordered just some fruit because I really wasn’t that hungry.

“Can I ask you guys something?” Pinoe asked as the table gave her our attention. “I feel like I already know the answer to this question, but I would feel better hearing it from you guys.

“What’s up?” Kelley asked as we gave her our full attention.

“If we win, and an invite were to come, would you guys go to the white house?”

“No” Alex and I immediately said as with Ash and them not far behind on saying no. I took a grape in my mind as Pinoe seemed to release a breath of relief.

“Thank god. I just needed to confirm that we were all on the same page.” I chuckled as Pinoe started talking about some conversation she had with Sue the other day.

“Hey…” I turned to Alex who was smiling at me. “You’re cute.”

“Oh, please don’t start this again…” Allie groaned as I smirked at her.

“Start what?” Ash asked looking between us.

“The other day they sat for like 10 minutes just saying, ‘you’re cute�� over and over to each other.”

“You guys are that couple?” Pinoe asked with a look as I laughed. “Actually, I wanted to ask you two…in terms of the public what are your plans? I mean…there’s about to be a lot of eyes on our team and on you guys so its like…do you have a plan for that?”

“In terms of like going public…?” I asked as she nodded her head.

“Actually, I wanted to know too because you guys haven’t really seemed like your keeping it a secret.” Ash commented as I looked to Alex who was already looking at me.

“That is completely up to you.” I said as she looked down for a moment. She had more to consider than I did so it really was up to you.

“I mean…I’m not trying to hide it. I’m not trying to flaunt it either though. I’m just enjoying my time with my girlfriend right now.”

“So, if people find out then its fine and if they don’t find out then it is also fine…” Pinoe said though it came out more like a question.

“Exactly.” She said as I nodded my head in agreement. This has to be one of my favorite parts of our relationship because even when we don’t explicitly talk about something we still manage to be on the same page.

“Well, then I am officially requiring you to hold my hand literally all the time.” I joked as she rolled her eyes but still intertwined our fingers as I smiled softly at her.

“You guys are so cute. I really hate it.” Kelley said as I grinned at her.

Once we were done with lunch, we made our way to Twitter HQ. We all had our own tables that we were at with a group of journalists. I smiled as everyone got settled and introduced themselves.

“(Y/N), it’s your first World Cup what sort of expectations do you have for yourself and the team going in?” The woman to my right asked as I thought about it for a second.

“I think that I have expectation that we are going to win.” I said with a laugh as they all laughed. “No, I think this is probably the deepest pool of players in the history of the World Cup and each game is going to bring new challenges for myself and the team, but I think we like the pressure that those challenges bring. I think that’s sort of what sets us apart from the rest of the teams in the tournament. I don’t think any of the other teams can handle the pressure to preform well like we do.”

“Do you think there is added pressure considering you guys are the defending champions?”

“I think that it’s a factor, but I mean when you’re the best team in the world you’re constantly going to have other teams trying to knock you out. Being the defending champions though doesn’t apply to some of the people on this team including myself. I haven’t won a World Cup, but I assure you I am dying too.”

The questions continued as the reporters asked anything and everything they could. I had all sorts of topics including equal pay, FIFA, and the NWSL. Eventually, they signaled that for one more question.

“How do you feel about team chemistry going into this tournament?”

“I think that this team couldn’t be closer. This isn’t just a team. It’s a family. We love and support each other so much and I really couldn’t ask for a better group of people to go through this crazy time with than the people I get to do it with.”

I then stood up and walked with one of the guys who explained that I was doing a Twitter Q and A with Becky. I grinned as I entered the room with Becky who rolled her eyes.

“Okay so the questions are pre-selected. They are screenshots so you just have to swipe to the right.” The guy explained as he handed me the phone we were reading off of. We both nodded our heads as they motioned that they were filming.

“Who is your favorite player of all time?” I asked as I looked to Becky who looked too me.

“Oh, am I answering?” I asked as she laughed. “I would say Ronaldinho. I was mesmerized watching him play when I was growing up. Or Lionel Messi because who doesn’t love Messi?”

“I would say Francesco Totti.”

“Really?” I asked with disbelief. “That’s so weird. I would have thought you would pick a defender. Next question, if you were trapped in an elevator which teammate would you not want to be trapped with?”

“You probably.” Becky answered immediately causing me to laugh. “You would definitely stress me out.”

“That’s so mean.” I said as I thought about it. “Emily Sonnett for me. She would stress me out.”

“Oh…that’s a good answer actually.” Becky said thinking about it. “Sorry Sonnett.”

“Oh no” I groaned as I sighed. “Which Hogwarts house do you belong to?”

“Ravenclaw.” Becky immediately said as she started explaining why. “I don’t care what you say you belong in Slytherin”

“I do not!” I defended as she rolled her eyes. “I took the official test and I am in Gryffindor. Also, there’s nothing wrong with Slytherin”

“You’re a Slytherin. I won’t argue about this.” She said as I laughed. “Next question?”

“Favorite song at the moment?”

“I don’t really have one at the moment.”

“Mine is a tie between Hesitate and Don’t throw it Away by the Jonas Brothers. I just downloaded there album so…” she nodded her head as we answered a few more questions. Eventually, we were done as we exited the room. I was pulled into doing some other stuff as the day continued to drag. Eventually, the day was winding down as I walked with JJ and Christen towards where the rest of the team was.

“Oh my god” I said excitedly as I saw the foosball table. “Are we allowed to use this?”

“That is so cool” Tobin mumbled as we all examined it and saw ourselves on it.

“We are?” Sonnett asked as they nodded their heads at us. “We’re allowed to play with it.”

“Yes! Let’s go! We’re forming teams. Becky!” I shouted as we quickly started playing. The cameramen and reporters around us watched us all freak out and get super competitive as we played foosball with each other. It definitely got out of hand as we were all screaming and cheering, but I felt like it perfectly represented this team. When I was watching some of the girls play, I felt an arm slip around my waist. I jumped slightly but relaxed when I saw Alex lean into me. The girl looked a little tired, but she smiled at me. I wrapped an arm around her as we continued watching our teammates.

Eventually, it was time to leave as we exited the building and got into the cars and made our way back to the hotel. I could tell everyone for the most part was tired. I was definitely exhausted. All I wanted to do was nap, preferably with Alex. The team talked about going to dinner, but until then everyone was off doing their own thing. Once back in my room, I laid with Alex who seemed like she could pass out any second. I knew no matter how stressful the day had been for me it didn’t come close to how stressful it was for her.

“Go to sleep.” I mumbled as she hummed slightly. “It’s okay.” It only took a few more moments before she was out for the count and soon, I felt myself doze off too.

I woke up to Alex softly saying my name. I groaned rolling over and cuddling into the forward. She laughed a little as she rubbed my back which only made me want to sleep more.

“We have dinner soon.” She said as I groaned.

“No.”

“Yeah…you need to eat so you don’t get hangry.” I let out another groan as I started drifting again before she whacked me with a pillow. I sat up and glared at her as she laughed pulling me towards her and kissing my cheek.

“Asshole.” I mumbled as she smiled at me. She stood and went into the bathroom. I checked my phone for a moment before she returned. “How long do we have before dinner?”

“An hour.” She said as I turned towards her with an irritated look.

“I wanted to spend time with you before we have to go.” She defended as I leaned back against the headboard of the bed. She took that as her invitation to lay down with her back against my front as she played with my fingers. “Can I ask you something?”

“You just did” I joked slightly as I rested my head on her shoulder.

“Why don’t you talk about your family?” she asked ignoring my joke as I stiffened. She turned towards me as I straightened my back slightly.

“It’s not something I like talking about.” I admitted as ran my fingers through my hair. She frowned and placed her hand on my knee.

“You don’t have to talk about it, I was just a little curious.” I stared at her deciding if I should tell her or not…

“No, it’s okay…I just need a minute.” I said as I took a shaky breath. I really was about to bare my soul to her, wasn’t I? “You have to let me get through the whole story without interrupting and you have to promise you won’t say a word to anyone else about it.”

“I won’t I promise” she said with a serious expression.

“I mean it Alex…no one else knows really besides Becky…and she only knows because I got hammered and accidentally told her…”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone…” she said as I nodded my head.

“When I was about 14-15, I developed my first crush on a girl. She was girl that I had known for a while. Her family was really close to my family. We all went to the same church. My parents were super religious. I mean…consider every cliché religious stereotype and you have my parents. I had an older brother and an older sister. I was close with both of them growing up because we weren’t too far in age. Anyway, this girl that I liked. She actually liked me back and she was my first kiss too. We secretly started dating and we were really good at keeping a secret. Except, her brother caught us one time. He told my siblings as well as his parents and then they all ended up telling my parents. I wasn’t allowed to be alone with her anymore and my parents ended up getting into a super big argument about what to with me…” I trailed slightly trying to keep my composure.

“It’s okay. Just breath. I’m right here.” Alex said softly as I nodded my head.

“My dad wanted to send me to one of those camps that ‘fixed’ kids. My mom just felt like I would grow out of it. My brother was on my dad’s side about sending me away and my sister was on my moms’ side about not sending me away. I later found out that my sister had actually caught that girl and I and had just kept her mouth shut because she didn’t want anything bad to happen to me. My mom ended up winning the fight, but it changed the dynamic of my family. My brother and father were very cold towards me and my mom just pretended everything was okay choosing to ignore the fact that I was gay.” I released another shaky breath before continuing.

“My sister didn’t treat me any differently though. She told me one night that she didn’t care who I chose to love, because I would never not be her sister. A year later, I had started seeing another girl in secret. My sister knew and had tried to do everything to help me hide it, but my brother found out. He immediately told my parents and told them about my sister trying to hide it from them. My father told me that I had two options…I could go to the camp to get myself fixed or I could leave. If I chose to leave, then I would no longer be welcome in my family until I fixed myself. I would not be allowed to talk to anyone in my family until I was normal. I chose to leave as hard as it was…my sister was given the option of going with me or shunning me from the family. She told me she was sorry, but she didn’t want to lose the rest of our family. She was already being punished for ‘protecting me from the consequences of sin’ which was how my dad had worded it. I understood, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. The last thing my mom said to me before I left was that she would pray for me that I would see the light.”

I sat in silence for a moment as I let her process all the information. She took my face in her hands and kissed me. I could feel the love and comfort that she was trying to give me.

“You are perfect the way you are.” She said as she gave me another kiss. “I love you so much and I know everyone on this team loves you so much too. God, I could fight your family.” I smiled at her statement as I let her comfort me.

“Yeah it sucked it left me in a dark place and I really had no hope at all…but I am who I am because of what happened.” I shrugged my shoulders as she nodded though she had a thoughtful look on her face.

“If you were 14-15 when the first thing happened and then a year passed…then that would make you 15-16 when you got kicked out…” I nodded my head at her as she frowned. “What did you do?”

“I moved in with my friends. Sebastian and Santiago. You know the brothers that I am friends with…they took me in. I think their mom felt really bad about what happened. She’s told me so many times that she couldn’t imagine kicking out any of her kids. They took care of me and then I went off to college and the rest is sort of history from there.”

“I know I am asking you so many personal questions…but was that part of the reason you hated playing for North Carolina so much…?” I let out a low laugh as I nodded my head.

“Yeah…that team isn’t super friendly towards gays...or I shouldn’t say the team as a whole just certain players…”

“I’m really sorry that happened to you.” She said giving me another kiss. I nodded my head as I let her continue giving me comfort.

“I know…there’s nothing you could have done though…you didn’t even know me…”

“I know, but I love you…you’re my whole world and I don’t like thinking about bad things happening to you…” I smiled at her as I gave her another kiss. “Okay I have one more question and then that’s it…”

“What?”

“How come you don’t want the team to know? I know they would understand…”

“It’s more a pride thing for me…It’s not an easy story to tell. It’s embarrassing. It’s hard enough when we do things that involve families and I have no one. Having to explain why to everyone and deal with the pity and being treated differently…it’s not for me. I would just rather they didn’t know…” she nodded her head and gave me one more kiss.

“I understand and your story is safe with me.” She said as I leaned my forehead against hers. I hated to admit it, but I already felt slightly better after having told her. It felt like I have opened up a whole new part of my heart with her that I haven’t really opened up with anyone before. I really do feel like things can only go up from here.

To Be Continued…

[technicallycleverdetective]

Presenting my last OS for Christmas, this one using the prompt “If there’s magic, it’s only because of you” which was my favourite one on the list so I really wanted to do something with it. This is my attempt. I hope it’s a good read :)

“Time for bed” Fabrizio announced, to a reception of sighs and protests. “It's nearly 10pm. Santa won't come if you're not asleep.”

 “Why not?” Anita demanded.

 “Because he's doing his job and he doesn't want children in every house trying to talk to him and holding him back. Getting around the world is one night is a tight schedule” Fabrizio replied wisely.

 Anita thought about that for a moment. “Like you when we go shopping?” she asked. “When the people stare at you and you pretend not to see them?”

 “Um...Yes, I suppose it's like that” he agreed. His daughter nodded in understanding. “Well, I won't talk to him. I just want to see him” she said, and lay down on the sofa.

 “You can't sleep here, sweetheart. He won't come unless you're in bed.”

 Dark brown eyes opened and fixed him with an intelligent glare. “You said he'll come if we're asleep, and I will be,” she said. “And then he'll wake me up and I'll squint so he doesn't realise.”

 He had to admire the amount of thought that had gone into this plan. “Alright love, good luck,” he conceded. “I'll get your pillow and blanket.”

 “Thank you Papa.”

 He turned to the other two people in the room and gestured for them to follow him upstairs. Ermal went directly to Anita's room while Libero stood in the doorway of his, watching curiously as the adults took her pillow, duvet and plush dinosaur back downstairs. Fabrizio tucked his daughter into her makeshift bed and kissed her goodnight, leaving Ermal to do the same and going back up to Libero.

 “Remember when I wanted to stay up and wait for Santa?” his son asked.

 The memory formed as clear as day, Christmas 2012 with his three year old son in his Captain America pyjamas, bouncing with excitement as he waited for Father Christmas to come down the chimney. Within an hour, that excited little boy had fallen asleep in his arms and he'd held onto him for longer than he had to before putting him to bed. It was a precious memory even now.

 “Yes, I remember. I stayed up with you.”

 “Yeah,” Libero smiled. “And then I woke up in my own bed and I don't know how I got there.”

 “The magic of Christmas, I suppose,” his father suggested. “It put me back in my bed too.”

 “Goodnight Dad.” Libero waved, stepped into his room and closed the door.

 “See you in the morning” Fabrizio called through the wood, and went back downstairs. A check in the living room confirmed that Anita was still there, intently watching the fireplace, and he went to the kitchen where Ermal was waiting with two glasses of wine.

 “You're a star,” Fabrizio said gratefully. He took one glass and toasted it gently against Ermal's. “Let's go out to the garden. We can't do any work until she's asleep and we can keep an eye on her through the window.”

 They sat down at the patio table, Fabrizio switching on the heater and turning to see Ermal's smile illuminated by the orange glow. “You look happy” he remarked.

 “I am. Thanks for including me so much” Ermal said. Fabrizio felt more surprised than flattered by the compliment. “Why wouldn't I?” he asked curiously.

 “Well, I'm not really family, am I?” Ermal pointed out. “Even at my sister's house I feel like a guest, so being able to shop for the kids and wrap their gifts and cook means a lot. So thank you.”

 “You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad you're here. You've made the Christmas season so much more enjoyable.”

 “Because you don't have to cook Christmas dinner?”

 Fabrizio chuckled and shook his head, gazing into his wine glass. “Because it's not all about making everything magical for the kids,” he answered. “Christmas these days is just a lot of stress and work, and in the end, the imaginary bearded man gets all of the credit. Is that a really bitter thing to say?”

 Ermal smiled sympathetically and squeezed his hand. “I think it's reasonable. Christmas is for kids and you know that I never celebrated it then.”

 “Papa!”

 They sprang apart guiltily at the sound of Anita's stern voice. She was standing at the back door, arms folded and hair wild on one side. “Go to bed. Santa won't come until everyone's asleep” she scolded.

 “You're right, darling. Let me finish my drink and I'll go right away. You run back to bed and try to sleep.”

 She nodded, satisfied with the answer, and disappeared back inside. Fabrizio glanced at Ermal and pulled a face. His boyfriend raised his eyebrows. “I am suitably chastised” he said. Fabrizio laughed and rubbed his hand affectionately.

 **

 The alarm went off at 2am and Fabrizio groaned, rolling over and grabbing his phone from the table. He blindly jabbed his finger at the screen until he hit the right place to make the sound stop, and then turned onto his back and rubbed his eyes.

 Ermal's groans sounded like a hibernating bear that had been disturbed. Fabrizio reached out and patted his curls which were everywhere on the pillow. “Sorry love, go back to sleep.”

 Another grunt was his answer. Feeling like a corpse attempting to escape its grave, Fabrizio arose and staggered across the room. It took three tries to find the door handle and pull it open. He stepped into a cold, dark and completely silent hallway. As carefully as he could, he descended the stairs and slowly opened the living room door. Anita blended into the dark space, but he could see the shape of her duvet and hear her gentle deep breaths.

 He approached and knelt in front of her, watching her face for any response, but she was deep in the Land of Nod. He picked her up with the duvet still wrapped around her and turned towards the door, seeing Ermal appear there. One hand was rubbing his eye sleepily, the other was already reaching for her pillow. He led the way back upstairs and Anita was safely deposited back in her bed. If anyone asked, Santa was responsible for her movement, and thanks to Ermal she would have no reason to doubt the story.

 It was a treat he'd concocted for his niece a couple of years ago, and apparently her reaction had been worth all the hours of labour. Four bags of sugar had been purchased for this and now the real labour of the night began, making little white patches on the floor and then shaping them into footprints, all the way from the fireplace to the stairs and back to the tree before finally exiting in the place they'd come from. It took two hours to do it all even with two people working together.

 It was with tremendous relief that Fabrizio collapsed back into bed, opening his arms for Ermal to fall in after him. “If we hurry, we can still get three hours of sleep” he muttered.

 “Maybe we’ll get lucky and have four” Ermal suggested. Fabrizio smiled at the ceiling and closed his eyes. “No,” he sighed. “It’ll be three.”

 **

 2 hours and 55 minutes later, Anita came barrelling into the room, grabbing his arm and pulling insistently. “Papa! Come and look at what Santa did!”

 “What did he do?” he asked blearily, genuinely confused for a moment.

 “He brought me back to my bed! Come and see!”

 Fabrizio pulled out of her grip, struggling to sit up without groaning like a piece of old furniture. Finding him too slow for her liking, Anita climbed onto the bed and started shaking Ermal’s shoulder. “Uncle Ermal, you have to see what Santa did!”

 “Okay, okay, I coming…”

 “I’ll be back,” she warned, and jumped off the bed. Fabrizio heard her open the door of the neighbouring bedroom. “Libero, Santa’s been in our house!”

 “Success” Ermal declared wearily. Fabrizio shushed him with a finger on the lips as Anita reappeared in the doorway, frowning at the sight of them still in bed.

 “Get up!” “Alright, Little Miss Bossy. Calm down” her father retorted, throwing the covers aside and going to her. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the stairs. Libero had just emerged from his bedroom, rubbing his eye and squinting in confusion. His sister beckoned him to follow. The three of them descended the stairs until, about four steps from the bottom, Anita stopped them and pointed at the line of white footprints striding through the hall to the living room. Libero’s mouth fell open.

 “What is this?” Fabrizio gasped. “Look at what Santa has done to my carpet.”

 “He didn’t mean to” Anita protested.

 Fabrizio huffed in mock-annoyance. “I hope he left the nicest presents in his sack to make up for it. Why don’t you go and check under the tree?”

 Anita grinned and ran to the living room at once. Fabrizio turned to his son. “Maybe he left something for you as well.”

 Libero kept looking between the footprints and his father, obviously not sure what to believe. At last it seemed that Fabrizio’s reputation for being ruthlessly house-proud won out, and he hurried after his sister to see what other evidence Father Christmas had left of his visit. Once they were gone, Fabrizio did a little celebratory dance in the hall and looked upstairs to see if Ermal was following. He was, albeit at a sloth’s pace and with his eyes still half-closed.

 Fabrizio headed for the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine, but was waylaid by his daughter’s shrieks of joy. She rushed out of the living room holding the small jewellery box that contained her necklace. It had a thick silver chain and a heart charm with her name engraved on it.

 “Look what Santa got for me! Can you help me put it on?”

 “Of course, love.”

 He knelt and undid the clasp to put around her neck, sensing Ermal walk behind him just before the bubbling sound of the percolator began. Anita ran away as soon as her new jewellery was on and started sorting through the gifts under the tree. It was always her job on Christmas morning to distribute the gifts to her family. Libero was already sitting in his assigned spot on the sofa, holding a new blue hoodie with Totti’s name and number on the back.

 “Did you find anything interesting?” Fabrizio asked. His son looked at him and gave a brilliant smile, glanced at his sister’s back, and pointed at his father. Fabrizio shook his head and pointed at the kitchen. Libero’s mouth briefly opened in surprise and then he grinned again.

 Ermal was already pouring coffee into two mugs as Fabrizio entered the kitchen. He got some juice from the fridge and poured glasses for his kids, and then threw an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and kissed his cheek.

 “It was worth getting up so early. I wish you could have seen their faces” he said.

 “I could hear them,” Ermal assured him, smiling. “I guess they like the gifts too?”

 “They love them. You would be so popular if your name was on the labels.”

 Ermal shrugged and handed his mug to him. “If their Christmas morning is magical, it doesn’t matter who they believe was responsible. Just call me Father Christmas.”

  Fabrizio shook his head and toasted Ermal’s coffee mug with his own. “I’m not giving the bearded man credit for this one,” he said. “If there’s magic, it’s only because of you.”

[oh-god-theres-6]

how about some angst for the number one good boy ichimatsu? a scenario where his s/o is pregnant with their child and he is fREAKED OUT and thinking about leaving. s/o calls him out and pretty much says that if he leaves their kid without a dad he really is trash

Angst is always a joy to write and to read is it not? Now this little story has two endings to it, if you want to end with angst simply stop before the second cut off, if you want a happy ending keep going, the choice is yours~ I hope you enjoy my attempt at this Anon!

~

Water, murky and mucky water washed through thoughts and memories, drowning them in muddy layers that collapsed the clear streams that used to flow freely, gracefully.

Words, clouding and dirtying the water further, sloshing it into uneven sprays of conundrums as self-deprecating rocks further rippled the waves.

Stormy weather, cloudy vision, muddy water pooling from his ears to block out any further sound, clogging up his body till all he could feel was the sinking, floor easing up to meet him at his knees.

Alone. He did this all when alone, questioning, daunting, waiting for an answer to flicker in the streetlight outside his window. A sign. Anything.

He wanted help.

He wanted to scream.

He wanted… he wanted to go back… he wanted her he wanted to be loved.

He wanted… he wanted to know weather the choice he made would really end better for her… or if his selfishness was just getting the better of him.

“Help… please.” His chilled fingers gripped into his hair, pulling at the dark strands as clear, warm drops ran down his cheeks to stain the floor.

The water levels were rising, filling his head and drowning him slowly.

He couldn’t breath.

He couldn’t focus.

And to think, all this hell was created by two simple words said to him yesterday.

—————

“I’m pregnant.”

It was a bullet through his heart, sending him into shock as Ichi sank into the cushions of the living room couch. Vacantly he stared at the woman in the doorway, someone he loved, cherished, would give anything for… Usually.

“What…?” He was finally able to speak, his voice a rasping whisper that had to be cleared out while she reaped the same thing again.

He wasn’t crazy, now he knew that for sure.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” The woman’s voice has begun to sink in volume, uneasiness wavering the usually confident tone that she portrayed.” Ichi?” She cooed, trying to coin something from the young man.

“No….”

“I-“ She was cut off by the quick standing, the remote that had casually rested on his leg clambering loudly to the ground, a resounding thud making the girl jump with a small yelp hiccuping her tone.

“No… no I can’t. We can’t. That… that can’t…” His finger was pointing accusingly at her stomach,” that can’t be… a thing.” Usually when speaking low he held some ounce of confidence, now he just sounded scared, terrified even. That’s when the water began to build up, that’s when his vision began to blur and the room began to spin.

All he could think was why, why him? why now? why? Why why why? Why did he have to deal with this? He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, trash like him didn’t deserve this. Trash like him couldn’t handle this. A child? He couldn’t take care of a child? Taking care of himself was proving hard enough as it was and now… now this?

Only when she spoke again did his quivering hand freeze, falling to his side as the muffled sound of her voice invaded his head. It was harsh, stinging him enough to wince away from her cold yet burning stare.” What the hell does that mean?!” He couldn’t answer her, he didn’t want to, he’d already done enough.” Well?! Ichi look at me and tell me what the hell you’re-“

“Trash like me can’t be a dad.” He blocked off her accusations, knowing they’d just get worse and worse as time continued to tick by.” I can’t be a good dad… I can’t do this… I can’t…” he seemed almost defeated, body sinking away from his lovers unloving stare.” Trash like me would make a fucking horrible Dad…” he couldn’t even look at her, but he could her the stiffness when she spoke, the hiccups killing his heart.

The other woman was silent for so long, too long, Ichi even starting to move towards the door, hand reaching out for the knob before a chill froze him in place.” A trash dad would be one that leaves before their child is even born.” Never has she spoken like that to him, never has malice dripped from her tone with such defined hatred in her words. It hurt, searing like a knife in his chest.

“Then I guess I’m really starting to live up to my worth…”

—————

Shutting that door behind him had led him here, back to his own home, staring out the window him and his brothers used to watch the snow from. He could remember the sleepless nights, Jyushi chumming about Santa and Choro loathing every moment of it. Kara humming sweet songs in the background while Oso slept by his side, peaceful and content. Totty, sitting on his phone but laughing so softly at Jyushi’s joy, the light hearted nature so real.

And Ichi… he could remember sitting by Jyushi with his head on the window sill, listening to the excited boy ramble on and on…

Life was easy. Life was simple. Life was six. Life was two. Now life has left only one when it could have been three.

At the thought he winced, crawling over to the window in slow carefully moves, hoisting himself up to stare out in silently.

‘Trash.’

‘I’m trash.’

‘Unburnable. Unlovable. Useless. Pathetic. Trash…’

Carefully his hands wrapped around the windows sill, knuckles white from the pressure he applied.

‘why would she love me. Why did she love me?’

Tears, slow and steady began to roll down his cheeks.

‘It doesn’t make sense, I’m not worth it… I’m not….’

Realization kicked in at full force at those last words in his mind, lips parting as he swallowed thickly and pushed away from the window forcefully, almost tripping over his own feet as he stumbled to and out the door.

It wasn’t often that this guy moved quicker then a lazy walk, yet now he was sprinting down the streets.

Someone did love him, for once in his fucking life he had gotten someone to fall for trash like him, and he had thrown that away over two words, two words he should have embraced, not ran away from.

“Fuck.” He cursed out, air stinging his lungs with each breath, only stopping when he reached the front door he had slammed only yesterday.

After a quick catch of breath his fist began to pound heavily against the door, over and over until he almost hit the poor woman when she answered it.

Her features were tired, red puffy eyes informing him to tissue boxes lost in battle. God it hurt to look at her like this… and to know it was his fault only made it worse.

Yet, she got no words out, Ichi’s shaking hands taking hold of her shoulders carefully and stunning her silent.” I… I am trash.” He started simply, eyes no longer lidded, but wide and alert, meeting hers steadily,” and I will always be that, I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, because Trash like me doesn’t deserve to live happily in a family setting,” he paused, letting it sink into her before going on,” but, you do… you deserve this and you deserve to be happy, you deserve everything… and I… I should have…” he trailed off slowly, hands loosing grip as he slumped down before he’d, body slouched over.” Im sorry…”

“Are you being honest?” So clear, so concise, so… her. A image he still couldn’t bare to face.” Because if you are… I forgive you… I, should have been kinder about it… eased you into it instead of scaring you with it…” she laughed, light and airy as she kissed his hair, arms surrounding him in a slow hug.” Its freezing though… how about you come inside for the night and we talk about this tomorrow… okay?” Ichi could feel her smile in his hair and lazily followed along.” I love you…”

Ichi watched her when she pulled away, eyes soft and loving as a smile finally pressed to his lips, ‘I love you too’ outlined in a silent response back to her.

‘I’m not worth it… but god dammit she is…’

[ichimatsutrash04-blog]

Corpse Party: Osomatsu-san - Chapter Three

It’s funny, really, how one’s brain can refuse to accept what is undeniably right in front of them. At least, that’s what Osomatsu thought as he told himself that Ichimatsu was okay, that he was fine despite the bloodied hoodie in his shaking hands. He continued to believe this even as he was suddenly aware of the sheer amount of red staining the floor around him, staining his hands, and seeping into his pants. There was so much, there was way too much blood. Ichimatsu’s blood. Osomatsu felt light-headed and probably would’ve passed out had it not been for the strong arms supporting him.

Choromatsu was just as, if not more scared and would’ve loved to curl up and sleep until this nightmare was over, but his older brother needed him right now. He knew that, as the eldest, Osomatsu would take full responsibility for anything that happened to his siblings, and he knew that if Ichimatsu really was…gone, the guilt would likely destroy his brother. He wouldn’t – no, couldn’t – let that happen. They all needed their big brother. So when Osomatsu fell forwards from where he was still kneeling on the ground, Choromatsu was there to catch him and pull him into a reassuring embrace.

“It’s all my fault,” Osomatsu said bluntly. “I dragged him into this and now he’s dead.”

“H-hey, don’t say that. We don’t know anything for sure.”

Osomatsu lifted his head and looked his little brother in the eyes. A gasp escaped Choromatsu’s dry lips as he saw how tired he looked, how hopeless. He looked like he had given up, and that frightened Choromatsu more than anything.

“There’s too much blood, Choro. Look around, and tell me I’m wrong.”

He was right, and Choromatsu knew it, so he said nothing and continued hugging him. All he wanted was to bring that contagious smile back, as annoying as it was. Anything was better than this.

After a few minutes of tense silence, Osomatsu struggled to stand, and then slowly backed away, still clutching the hoodie. “I have to…I gotta go find him.” He turned and ran.

“Osoma – wait! Don’t - !” Choromatsu sighed, glaring at his injury which prevented him from sprinting after. However, it wasn’t long before the panic set in. Here he was, alone, in an abandoned school that may or may not have led to his brother’s demise, and with a sprained ankle to top it off. He laughed morbidly as he realized that they hadn’t even bothered to try the main door and honestly wasn’t surprised when it didn’t budge.

“Of freaking course,” he mumbled exasperatedly. This meant the only other choice he had was to go back in, which he was less than a little enthusiastic about. Trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his ankle, Choromatsu set off in the direction Osomatsu had gone, distracting himself from the suffocating atmosphere by humming one of his favorite Nyaa-chan songs. It didn’t help much.

It must’ve been some sick twist of fate that brought Choromatsu right to the infirmary. His hand was poised over the door handle when he felt that overpowering urge to run away and never look back, because whatever was in that room was sure to haunt him for the rest of his days. He stood frozen in place, carefully considering his options for…seconds? Minutes? Hours? Time felt warped and unreal in this place. Finally, Choromatsu gathered his courage and slowly, so very slowly, pulled open the infirmary door. He was so relieved to see the familiar faces of his brothers that it took a moment for the devastating reality to sink in.

Karamatsu sat cross-legged on a cot in the corner, his back against the wall. He could’ve easily been mistaken as being asleep if not for the absence of the rise and fall of his chest as well as the crimson blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. Karamatsu’s arms were wrapped tight around Ichimatsu, whose head rested in his older brother’s lap and whose own arms looked as though they had been hastily patched up with a thick layer of bandages. They were both as pale as the white sheets they sat upon. Choromatsu would never find out exactly how or why he lost two of his brothers so quickly.

For the first time in quite a while, the third eldest Matsuno had absolutely no idea what to do. Should he scream? Should he cry? Should he seek revenge from whatever monster caused his siblings pain? Choromatsu’s senses weren’t working properly. He felt numb, his vision was blurred, and there was a faint ringing in his ears that nearly drowned out the choked sob that came from the other side of the room. Startled, he whipped around to find Osomatsu in the corner, knees drawn to his chest and tears now streaming freely down his face. Choro decided he could grieve later. He had to make sure his still living brother was okay.

“Come on, Osomatsu-niisan. Let’s find Totty and Jyushi and go home. There’s nothing we could’ve done.” Choromatsu tried to reason with his brother while cautiously approaching him. He didn’t know what to expect from the eldest sibling in such a fragile state of mind.

Osomatsu, meanwhile, had no intention of moving. “We were real jerks to him, y’know that? Kara, I mean. He didn’t deserve any of the crap we gave him and had every right to hate us…but he chose to forgive us instead, and look where that got him.” He spoke barely above a whisper. “And Ichimatsu, little Ichi…God, I just regret never telling him how much I loved him. He thought he was worthless, but all five of you mean the world to me. Ha, look at me, getting all emotional like a kid.”

Choromatsu’s heart broke as his older brother was interrupted by a fresh wave of tears, and for the second time that terrible day, Osomatsu found himself in a comforting hug.

“I really am useless,” he said, laughing between heart-wrenching sobs.

The lights flickered.

“You’re right, though. This really is all your fault.” It took Choromatsu a moment to realize that the words had come from his own mouth. “What gives you the right to live when it’s your fault that they’re dead?” No, no, what was he saying? That wasn’t at all what Choromatsu thought! It was like he couldn’t control himself. Why was this happening?

“I hate you.”

I’m sorry Osomatsu.

“Get out of my sight.”

Please don’t leave me.

“I never want to speak to you again.”

I love you niisan.

Osomatsu stood with a blank expression on his face and walked toward the hall with unsure footing, placing a hand on the doorframe to steady himself. He couldn’t face his brother as he said, “Well…if that’s what you want.”

No, that’s exactly what Choromatsu did not want, but he could only watch helplessly as his brother was consumed by the darkness beyond the infirmary’s threshold, leaving him alone once again. That is, unless you’re counting the lifeless bodies of Karamatsu and Ichimatsu which he was desperately trying to ignore. Eventually getting to his feet, Choromatsu made to go after Osomatsu, but was pulled back down by a splitting pain in his skull that made even the worst migraines he’d ever had the joy of experiencing feel like minor headaches in comparison. He almost welcomed the comforting blackness that accompanied him to unconsciousness, leaving him lying on the dirty, wooden floor, trapped in dreams of endless corridors, vengeful spirits and dead brothers.

Osomatsu was lost in a section of the school that he and Choromatsu hadn’t yet explored. “Choromatsu…” The mere sound of his brother’s name was enough to make his eyes water. Two brothers missing, two brothers dead…and one brother that didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. If that wasn’t a sure sign that he’d failed as the eldest, he didn’t know what was. Maybe Choromatsu was right though. Maybe they really were better off without him around. Maybe he should just…

He stopped beside a break in the floorboards and peered down into black nothingness as far as the eye could see. His foot hovered over the pit. The image of Kara and Ichi, their lives so unfairly stolen from them, was burned into his memory, and Osomatsu wanted it gone. Choro was the most responsible of the six of them anyways and could be trusted to care for the other two. Osomatsu had no issue handing over the role of eldest brother to Choromatsu. After all the years he put up with Osomatsu and Karamatsu’s antics, he sure as hell had earned it. So what did they need him for? He wanted to protect his brothers and only succeeded in getting them killed. So why shouldn’t he join them? It’d be all too easy.

Just

One

Step

“OSOMATSU-NIISAN, NO!”

Osomatsu whirled around and caught a flash of pink before the floor beneath him broke in two and he tumbled backwards into oblivion.

[olehistorian]

Almost unrecognisable from her role as the dowdy housekeeper in Downton Abbey, Phyllis Logan is starring in an exotic new medical drama. She talks to Judith Woods about seizing the day and those Downton movie rumours… 'Obviously I never had a career to speak of before Downton Abbey,’ says Phyllis Logan drily, raising an eyebrow for further effect. ‘I sometimes wonder how on earth did I fill my time?’ It’s not true, of course, but we all know what she means: sometimes a jobbing actress is swept away by a juggernaut of a role that takes her a very long way from where she used to be. The Downton effect has had an impact on the career of every member of its award-winning ensemble cast. Lily James has starred in the BBC’s War & Peace and the movie Cinderella, Michelle Dockery landed a role as a criminal in the gritty US show Good Behavior, Joanne Froggatt played a serial killer in the ITV series Dark Angel – and now Phyllis is set to star in a new ITV drama series, The Good Karma Hospital. But it’s her years in service to the Crawley family that have made her a poster girl for ladies of a certain age who refuse to accept that life holds no more adventure. When her doughty but warm-hearted character Mrs Hughes finally found love with the pompous but kindly butler Mr Carson, it struck a blow for midlife love. In those days ‘Mrs’ was an honorific title bestowed on senior female staff, regardless of whether they had ever wed, so Mrs Hughes’s comical angst about whether he would be expecting ‘a full marriage’ struck a chord with any woman over 40 who has ever fretted about going to bed with a new partner. ‘Mrs Hughes was aerated about the sex thing because she probably hadn’t had much experience, but that turned out to be the least of her bloomin’ worries,’ acknowledges Phyllis. ‘God preserve us all from nitpicking middle-aged men who can’t abide change.’ In the phenomenally successful series, which ran for six seasons, Mr Carson (played by Jim Carter) turned out to be irrevocably stuck in his ways – the routines of the big house where he had been serving for many years. Ironically, it was his new wife’s performance in the couple’s kitchen (as opposed to the bedroom) that proved his greatest source of disappointment. Eventually, with affectionate pragmatism, the pair decided he should eat his meals at the Downton kitchen, cooked by Mrs Patmore, as before. ‘It’s a very identifiable scenario,’ says Phyllis, 61. ‘When a more mature couple makes a life together, each brings certain expectations and baggage and of course there’s always need for compromise, which some men in particular find difficult. Phyllis, once best known for playing posh totty Lady Jane Felsham in the 1980s and 90s series Lovejoy, was a late starter herself when it came to settling down. She met her husband, Pirates of the Caribbean actor Kevin McNally, in the 1993 miniseries Love and Reason when she was in her late 30s, but they didn’t get round to tying the knot until she was 55. ‘I had always sworn I would never have an actor in the house because they are so much trouble and so vain, but you can’t legislate for Cupid’s bow,’ she says. When she got together with Kevin, theirs was not a series of careful compromises but a classic coup de foudre. ‘I never thought real love – the sort where your blood tingles and your world explodes with joy – would happen to me at my time of life. I believed I had missed out. But I’m ever so glad it happened.’ A couple of years later, aged 40, she had their son David. He is now 20 and studying music and music production at university in Leeds. Once upon a time, reaching six decades was a milestone to be dreaded rather than celebrated, but, in well-cut jeans and a flattering floaty top, her burnished hair hanging loose, Phyllis provides incontrovertible proof that though life may not begin at 60, it sure as heck continues at a rip-roaring pace – as long as you have the right attitude towards the rollercoaster. ‘We packed David off to university not so long ago and as we drove back to our house in West London we were listening to the Elaine Paige show on Radio 2,’ recalls Phyllis. ‘She played Peggy Lee singing “The Folks Who Live on the Hill” and as soon as I heard the line “and when the kids grow up and leave us” I burst into absolute floods of tears and spent the rest of the journey splashing about in the passenger seat. But since then I’ve thought a lot about empty nest syndrome and how once your chick flies the coop it gives women the freedom to stretch their own wings once more, too.’ And as fate would have it, Phyllis’s new role in The Good Karma Hospital has allowed her to do just that and will doubtless prove a source of inspiration to a great many female viewers in a similar position. Set in India, the series features another estimable actress, Amanda Redman, 59, who plays an eccentric expat running a ramshackle cottage hospital, which is short on resources and long on compassion. ‘It’s a cross between Holby City and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel but with dark secrets, so it should be right up everybody’s street,’ says Phyllis. ‘I play Maggie Smart, who has come to India for her daughter’s wedding and becomes unwell, so ends up in hospital and falls deeply in love. Not with a man – she already has a husband – but rather with the community, the culture and the way of life. She’s a fascinating character who has such humour and joie de vivre and it was great to play a woman finding herself and connecting with a wider spirituality.’ Phyllis spent months filming the six-part series on location in Sri Lanka. She, too, found herself smitten with the place and the people and at one point Kevin flew over from the US where he is in the cast of the US television series Turn: Washington’s Spies and they managed a 12-day break together. ‘We stayed in a hotel on the beach and it was bliss. The majority of the population are Buddhists and seemed so calm, open and thankful for whatever life gave them; I think we could all learn from them.’ All the same, Phyllis isn’t entirely convinced she believes in karma as a concept. ‘It would be nice to think that if you are a decent human being then eventually things will turn out right,’ she says. ‘But fate can intervene and pull the rug out from under you without warning and there might be nothing you can do.’ It is something she and Kevin can speak of from personal experience. Phyllis’s mother died from a dementia-related illness aged 90, but it was the agonisingly slow decline of Kevin’s mother over many years that proved more devastating. ‘Kev’s mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her early 60s and from then on his father became her carer and it was so hard for him. She reached the point where she didn’t recognise her own son and was agitated and upset because she had no idea where she was or who she was; that was heartbreaking to witness.’ Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and does what she can to support the charity’s work. ‘It’s such a cruel disease. I am aware there’s a genetic component so I do brain-training on my phone every day. Will that help stave it off? I have no idea; I think of Iris Murdoch – such a clever woman who dealt with words and complex memories all her life, and yet all those things that made her so creative and unique were taken while she was still alive. Ultimately, all you can do is cross your fingers and make the most of every day.’ Phyllis is certainly doing that. Last year was a veritable Air Miles bonanza; as well as her sojourn in Sri Lanka she went to Sydney for a Downton DVD launch, Los Angeles where the ensemble cast of Downton won yet another Screen Actors Guild Award, and then to New York to receive the prestigious Great Scot Award from the US branch of the National Trust for Scotland (previous recipients include comedian Billy Connolly and actor Alan Cumming). She wore a dress bought in John Lewis embellished for the occasion with a tartan sash and matching ribbon. ‘I’m not interested in fashion,’ Phyllis confides. ‘It’s just not on my radar. Whenever I’m doing a contemporary role, the wardrobe mistress will usually say, “Let’s go to Selfridges and get a personal shopper.” Most women would probably love it, but my face falls because I absolutely hate trying on clothes. One of the things I loved about Downton was the fact I had two outfits and maybe a coat if I got to go into the village; the girls in the Crawley family kept having to go for fittings every time there was a big dinner, which would have driven me mad.’ Logan loves… Reading Alan Bennett’s Keeping On Keeping On. I love him; my husband Kev played him in the stage version of The Lady in the Van. Listening to The Today programme on Radio 4 and Classic FM. Watching I do enjoy a good nature documentary. Planet Earth II was spectacularly good. Guilty pleasure A whole bag of Kettle Chips with a crisp glass of Picpoul de Pinet. Beauty product Boots No7 moisturiser; it’s not fancy but it does the job. Desert island luxury A karaoke machine, stage, lights and all the songs from the 70s. I’ll make a row of coconuts for an audience and there’ll be no stopping me. The ongoing international popularity of Downton means Phyllis and various other cast members are still asked to appear at events to meet the fans and launch DVDs. She’s often asked about her wigs and whether she kept one; she had three identical hairpieces all of which she affectionately dubbed Elsie. ‘People ask me if I was tempted to take a wig or that big bunch of keys I carried, but that would be theft, because these things aren’t my property,’ says Phyllis emphatically. ‘Besides, if there’s a Downton movie, which I hope will happen, all the props and costumes will be needed.’ Ah yes, the Downton film; rumours still swirl but so far there’s been no confirmation. According to Phyllis it may yet happen if – and it’s a huge if – the cast members can ever be gathered in one place long enough. ‘It’s like herding cats!’ she laughs. ‘We’re all so busy and in different countries, but it would be such fun to get together again. The camaraderie on set was extraordinary.’ Phyllis was in every episode of the family saga. Her husband even appeared in a handful of episodes as Horace Bryant, the stern father of an army major who fraternised with housemaid Ethel (Amy Nuttall), getting her pregnant before he died in action. Horace persuaded her to hand over his grandchild to him, which was brutal but necessary as she had been sacked from Downton in disgrace and had taken to prostitution in order to survive. ‘I was quite miffed that the producer had offered Kev a job without even consulting me,’ laughs Phyllis. ‘I wouldn’t dream of queering his pitch – although I do think I’d be great as Johnny Depp’s mother in a Pirates of the Caribbean film [in which Kevin plays Joshamee Gibbs]. And every lad needs a cuddle from his mother now, doesn’t he?’ Her eyes glitter with the sort of mischief Mrs Hughes would most certainly not approve of, but now Phyllis has emerged from the shadow of her fictional alter ego, she is keen to push boundaries. Last summer she resolved to challenge herself by taking on a theatre role in a dazzling touring production of Noël Coward’s Present Laughter, alongside Samuel West. ‘The prospect of going back on stage was a bit frightening, but that is exactly why I embraced it,’ she says. ‘I can be a bit of a scaredy-cat so I have to push myself and I was so very glad I did. It took me right back to my early days as an actress: booking my own digs, sitting on the seafront on my day off eating fish and chips. I also got to see fascinating places such as Canterbury, Cambridge and Brighton.’ Seeing the world – be it near or far – is something she gently urges all women to do once the kids have left. ‘Travel does broaden the mind and fill the senses,’ she says. ‘It gives you a new perspective and there are so many beautiful regions in Britain that I can think of no better way to spend time than exploring them because you’re a long time dead – so carpe diem, ladies!’ The Good Karma Hospital will be on ITV next month. Phyllis is an ambassador for Dementia UK and is supporting its campaign timeforacuppa.org Styling: Natalie Read. Hair: Alex Price at Frank Agency. Make-up: Lucy Gibson at Frank Agency using Clinique. Table and vase, both Habitat Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-4128572/Interview-Downton-star-Phyllis-Logan.html#ixzz4WSbvI2CF Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook