#I love him. unironically. he's a fantastic character

[measlyfurball13]

I've been trying to muse why Tom Wachowski from the Sonic Movie works as a good character whereas all the other Generic White Dudes from similar live action/animated mixed movies failed. I'm talking movies like The Smurfs and Alvin and the Chipmunks, because let's face it, the Sonic Movie falls neatly into that genre.

TL;DR of my insane ramblings: Tom punches Eggman in the face, and that means everything to me.

Maybe it's because Tom isn't written as an asshole? Like, yeah, he definitely has his five minutes of "I don't know who you are, weird talking animal, why would I want to help you?" -but that's just it. It's five minutes. For the rest of the runtime, Tom spends his time getting to know and like Sonic. It feels like a lot of the other Generic White Dudes seem to barely tolerate their cartoon companions, despite the movie claiming that they've learned some grand "lesson" from their inclusion in his life. Tom has no third-act breakup, no Liar Revealed, no contrived misunderstandings or sudden betrayals of Sonic- he acts like how a decent person would. Somehow this is revolutionary. (Oh, and he actually loves his wife. Somehow this is also revolutionary.)

Maybe it's also because Tom slides naturally into the wacky cartoon hijinks instead of desperately trying to stay out of them. Films like Smurfs and Hop and Alvin and the Chipmunks constantly have the cartoon characters "ruining" the Generic White Dude's normal life with their presence. Tom's life and plans are ruined by Sonic, sure, but this is because Dr. Robotnik becomes his antagonist, too. Tom sees his house getting totally ruined by the cartoon villain who's hunting the cartoon animal and, instead of blaming the cartoon animal for it, he gets mad at the right person- the villain! Instead of lamenting "why are these talking animals happening to me?", he takes stock of the actual situation and goes "woah, this asshole wants to hurt this kid, that's not okay" and then proceeds to do something about it. He's got stakes in the outcome of the cartoon hijinks, which makes his presence in them feel like a natural inclusion rather than a random coincidence.

You get the sense that Sonic matters to Tom. The events going on in plot affect Tom. For Christ's sake, he gets a full character arc over the course of the runtime! Tom is a fully integrated part of the Sonic movie, core to it's DNA- you couldn't replace him without changing everything.

Because no other Generic White Dude besides Tom Wachowski would punch Eggman in the face.

[comicaurora]

What are your thoughts on guardians vol.3? (If you have watched it) I went into it, expecting it went to the garbage like the rest of the mcu, but I was pleasantly surprised by its creativity, trope subversion, and how it wrapped up the previously unresolved arks of its characters.

That's what I've heard!

The thing is, Guardians 3 could be the most transcendent work of cinema ever made, and I'd probably still feel little to no motivation to watch it at this point. It's not Guardians's fault - it's just suffering from the same problem that superhero comics have been struggling with for decades: no matter how good an individual arc or run is, absolutely nothing good lasts or matters in the long term, and the stories are shaped in such a way that "the long term" is the only thing anyone gets to build towards.

Whenever I complain about the MCU I get a handful of people loudly complaining about my complaining, with the general thesis that if I don't like it I shouldn't watch it or talk about it - if I'm not having fun, just stop engaging with it. And the thing is, I have. I am intellectually interested in why this massive franchise is fumbling the bag so hard, which is why I still check in on it sometimes, but I've long since stopped turning to the MCU for uncritical entertainment. And even the good movies or shows with a lot of interesting ideas - good character arcs, fun concepts, interesting planting for future payoff - don't draw me in anymore, because they're hooked into a massive moneymaking machine that will scrap and squander anything if they think it'll make them more in the quarter. It doesn't matter how good the writing is, because the writers are not allowed to tell a complete, finished story, and they have no control over what happens to their characters outside of their own script.

Captain America's arc was set up from literally minute one to answer one burning question at the core of his character: does a world without a war still need Captain America? After that incredibly basic tee-up at the end of First Avenger, half a dozen movies failed to come up with a reason to say "yes," and now Steve is retired for good after getting fumbled through four different storylines that couldn't even pretend that they needed him (the unused Chekhov's Phone from the end of Civil War still haunts me). The foundational arc of his entire character never happened because nobody bothered to keep track of it past a single movie.

Taika did something interesting with Thor in Ragnarok - take away Mjolnir, force him to recognize what it means to be the god of thunder, give him a very Odin-y missing eye - and the very next movie undid all of it. Just kidding, never mind, here's an eye and a new weapon and also his old weapon again, and in one more movie we're even gonna give him his hair back, probably as an apology for all the completely unironic fatphobia we're gonna slather him in for two and a half hours. I'm not even surprised Love And Thunder was such an overblown mess that barely took itself seriously - why would Taika bother trying to give Thor another arc when the powers that be will just roll it back in six months anyway?

I hear Rocket Raccoon has a fantastic arc in this movie. That's great, and demonstrates that he's being written by a writer that deeply cares about him. But he's part of the MCU, and the MCU doesn't let anything end, so if current patterns hold, Rocket is going to continue to serve as quippy plushie-bait for the next dozen movies and none of that depth is going to come through in the long term. Hell, since they're making Kang noises for the Next Big Threat and Kang's entire gimmick is rewriting timelines, literally none of this is guaranteed to matter. By next year, it might not have even happened anymore.

The MCU has successfully shaped itself into a paradigm where the bright spots of good writing are overridden and lost as soon as the writers room turns over, and that makes it really hard for me to muster up the enthusiasm to watch even a really good movie that's locked into the exact same grist mill as everything else. I'm glad people liked it, I hope it gets to stay good this time - I just have no desire to watch it.

[blvvdk3ep]

I don't know if this is just a Twitter phenomenon, but I am sick of some IWTV fans acting like those who identify Lestat as being abusive are being dramatic or misreading the show. Lestat's villainy intersects racial and supernatural lines; every power he has over Louis, physically or societally, he subtly uses to lure him in and to control him. He's a fantastic character precisely because he's charismatic, beautifully polished, thoughtful, and passionate, but also cruel, hiding a profound ugliness, so deranged about love it turns around into something monstrous, capable of unthinkable violence towards those he loves. And the first set of traits (are used by him to) disguise the second set. He's obviously purposefully written like that and dismissing that is doing the writers a disservice. They wrote an amazing fucking character, and he's selfish, manipulative, and yes, abusive to Louis and Claudia, and he's so cleverly written that even at his most cruel when he gets what he deserves, you can't help but feel just a little bit sorry for him. Ignoring that brilliance just to unironically uwu softboy he never did anything wrong babygirlify him is soooo lame sorry

[xflixer7]

all of my yellowjacket headcannons (so far)

word count is like a trillion ok i’m not counting all of this

hi it’s been 8 months i finally counted (1865 words)

lottie

she/her transfem! lesbian bottom (i wanna eat her whole)

-schizophrenic

-definitely has some type of ocd

-ptsd

-autistic because i say so

started playing soccer when she was little

will actually go insane is you steal any of her clothes if you look at her she will actually be drooling with heart eyes

plays piano

also knows violin because her parents made her take it doesn’t play is anymore though

lottie isn’t jealous but very protective

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-phoebe bridgers

-clairo

-#1 laufey fan on the world

-fiona apple

unironically knows every katy perry song by heart because she used to be her favorite when she was little

her room is huge

likes putting her hair in pigtails

golden retriever girlfriend she’s so sweet ugh and loves to spend time and money on her person you always staying at her house would literally kiss the ground the person she is dating walker on if they asked her too:((

also the worst cooker you ever met like how did you fuck up toast why is the smoke alarm going off??

favorite color is blue

lottie definitely has a hairstylist she goes too every month to get permed and there really close i can see her telling them about ALL the school drama

lottie wants write story’s when she’s older maybe romance or mystery idk but i can just imagine her having a typewriter and writing you story’s she has wanted to do it since she was a kid and is very passionate about it:((

what i think her favorite shows are:desperate housewives,american horror story,sailer moon

so scared of horror movie like she will start crying

her favorite characters are:

-emily (corpse bride)

-bree (desperate housewives)

-starfire (teen titans)

always goes on and on about how she’s bubblegum and your marceline she LOVES adventure time

her favorite movie is bridge to terabithia

lotties favorite animal is a bunny and she really wants a pet bunny

BEGS you to give her your bra and your confused but you give it too her and she makes a bracelet out of it and wears it practically every day proudly

also think that lottie is a great artist? like sketching and painting wise

nat

SAY IT WITH ME transmasc! (he/they) definitely bi because i say so

-depressed

-dyslexic

-ptsd

started playing soccer in middle school

LOVES christmas like has an unhealthy obsession with it (tries to act like he doesn’t)

northern italian knows the language pretty well also a great cook

wants to play electric guitar

his favorite (modern!) singers are

-tyler the creator

-radiohead

-alex g

-hole

-is so obsessed with mistki don’t even get me started

randomly painted his room black one day when he was bored

usually prefers his hair down

you give him haircuts he doesn’t trust anyone else someone definitely fucked up his hair once and he never went back

his favorite color is black or gray

just wants to be famous tbh but he wants to be in a band

what i think his favorite shows are:rick and morty,bojack horseman,shameless

LOVES horror movies and reality tv like 90 day fiancé and the kardashions (his guilty pleasure)

also likes claymation

his favorite characters are

-ash (fantastic mr fox)

-alyssa (the end of the fucking world)

-coraline (coraline)

his favorite movie is little miss sunshine

nat’s favorite animal is a panther he saw one in the jungle book when he was little and just thought it looked cool

always headcannoing characters as trans like finn from adventure time or jeff from clarence he’s so cute:((

nat skateboards too definitely not great at it but does it when he’s bored

jackie

(she/her) jackie is just a bratty pillow princess lesbian you can’t fool me

-adhd asf

-neurodivergent for sure

-ptsd

started playing soccer because she was bored eighth grade tbh i don’t think she likes it as much as the others but she thinks it’s fun

chronic hoodie stealer

this girl is a vegetarian for sure

jackie is jealous always period

her gay ass button ups bro

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-ariana grande her fav

-rihanna

-billie eilish

-harry styles

-lana del ray

pretty mainstream music taste

all pink room it’s very like coquette?

ponytail girl but also enjoys her hair down

favorite color is light pink duh

wants to be a makeup guru or just stay at home honestly she hates working

what i think her favorite shows are:euphoria, grays anatomy,glee,vampire diaries

i think she likes very drama files shows and will rant about tv show characters and there dynamics and why she think that there like that and etc for HOURS

ughhh jackie is such a girls girl like she is the friend who always has your back and has gum or a tampon for you she is the friend who would check you on your period

her favorite characters are:

-maddy (euphoria)

-regina (mean girls)

-winnie the pooh (she thinks he’s cute)

her favorite movie is DEFINITELY jennifer’s body

jackie is a cat lover and has 2 i can see her with a orange and a gray cat and they always fight

shauna

DEFINITELY bi (she/her)

-bipolar

-ptsd

joined soccer with jackie in eighth grade

has like thousands of boxers

russian

knows how to play saxophone (she doesn’t even know how she learned she just did) she doesn’t own one though

so jealous but never says anything (this girl cannot communicate to save her life)

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-the cranberries

was so mad when they got popular on tiktok and had to let everyone know they where her fav since day 1 (everyone knew)

-suki waterhouse

-cigarettes after sex

-never got over halsey since 2017

-the smiths

(a TRUE music lover over here)

she honestly doesn’t care how her room looks but it’s never clean

doesn’t do anything with her hair really

dark green is her favorite color

shauna’s hair may seem simple but she’s VERY picky about how it’s cut and is always worried there gonna cut it bad so she gets it cut like twice a year(she always ends up hating it)

she wants to be some sort of doctorate she’s fascinated by the human body so i can see her wanting to be a surgeon

what i think her favorite shows are:good girls, queens gambit,13 reasons why

her favorite characters are:

-velma (chicago)

-cassie (euphoria)oh the parallels…

-amy (gone girl)

her favorite movie is chicago (loves musicals)

a simple gal she really likes dogs

taissa

she/her lesbian

-anxiety

-ptsd

joined soccer in fifth grade

mixed (duh)

used to be in the marching band

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-frank ocean

-post malone

-has a soft spot for shawn mendas has all of his albums

-really enjoys 60’s music so she really likes the beetles

her room is pretty big too not huge on decorating

doesn’t care about hair like at all will wear a headband sometimes

a good girlfriend like if your cold she will give you her jacket type she has a temper never jealous either girlfriend material she’s the type you would want your kid to date y’know?

respectful to adults gets good grades and stuff

her favorite color is like a pearlescent white and everyone is like what the hell is that (she is trying to be different this is one of my favorite colors😿)

cuts her own hair thinks it’s overpriced and dumb to have someone professionally do it

tai wants to be something important like president or some shit i can see her being a lawyer

what i think her favorite shows are:the umbrella academy,big mouth,skins

tai only watches skins and euphoria type shows because she loves the drama

her favorite characters:

-hermoine (harry potter)

-patrick (perks of being a wallflower)

-nadine (edge of seventeen)

her favorite movie is the 6th harry potter movie she also thinks it’s the most underrated

she likes tigers

van

she/her and lesbian duh

-ptsd

joined soccer kinda randomly in seventh grade

irish

plays the trumpet but is kinda embarrassed by it

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-bruno mars

-tori amos

-girl in red duh

-david bowie

-was ziggy stardust for halloween when she was 8

can’t convince me her room is not painted red

doesn’t care about hair either puts in a ponytail to keep it out of her face

is a great girlfriend all the same traits as taissa except not the best at school she’s honestly surprised she graduated

favorite color is red

her uncle cuts her hair for like five bucks out of his garage also i definitely think she used to have a bowl cut when she was little

doesn’t really care about money she just wants to be happy wants to own a record store or be a professional soccer player

speaking of records she definitely has a lot of collections like lowkey a hoarder…but her stuff is cool though! like funky pops hot wheels cd’s records etc

what i think her favorite shows are:beavis and butthead, avatar, south park

mostly likes adult animation

her favorite characters are:-harley (suicide squad)-ron (harry potter)-beast boy (teen titans)

her favorite movie is the bee movie or lego batman there cinematic masterpieces

van likes pigeons for not particular reason she just thinks there funny looking

i can see van as a surfer too like her dad definitely is one also i can imagine her being really close with her dad and they have a local family business bakery:((

misty

she/her and idk her sexually like i genuinely have no idea

-autistic

-ptsd

always wanted to be on the team but knew she was bad at sports

german definitely

her favorite (modern!) singers are

-any female kpop band

-justin bieber

-pink-

melanie martenz is her favorite forever

light purple room has justin bieber posters everywhere

lowkey forgets she has hair whenever people comment on it she’s like “oh yeah!”

very obsessive of you and loves you almost too much sometimes you think it’s creepy but than your like “awww she’s so cute”

likes the color yellow

her favorite colors are brown and orange (there her favorite because she feels bad everyone calls them ugly)

i can see her being a k-pop stan too

(her bias in bts is j-hope)

also is a famous editer on tiktok and no one knows😭her username is like “gxxbflix” or some shit

literally has had one haircut in her life like it never grows?

i see her as a pharmacist

what i think her favorite shows are:walking dead,mlp,monster high

has SO many online friends

definitely loves romance anime

she’s in like every fandom ever because she wants to have online friends and be included on discord😭

plays clarinet

is in band

favorite characters:

-cruella (cruella)-alice (alice in wonderland)-edward (edward sciccor hands)

and mistys favorite movie is alice through the looking glass (because it shows the queen of hearts back story and misty loves her)

and misty likes birds duh

those are my headcannons for them i know it’s a lot but i’m obsessed ok send requests if you have any please

-🙈

[dionysism]

okay fuck it tier list of every greek mythology or greek myth inspired musical i've listened to (so far)

with, if you care, short reviews for each below the cut. i'm like half asleep but take my poorly organized thoughts

paris the musical

this one is my all time favorite of all the ones listed here. the musical scores and vocals are just on another level. it's a rock opera so it's got guitar solos and the songs are so catchy. business is my favorite track i could loop it for weeks. i also love their patroclus characterization and i am obsessed with achilles in this unironically one of my top patroachilles adaptations of all time and the musical isn't even about them 😭😭 AND PARIS... the actual focus of the musical, i love this take on him too. it's kinda comical but also actually tragic at the same time. which i mean. paris is kinda comical but ultimately tragic in general so its fair 💀 things definitely go down differently in this than in the iliad though like agamemnon and the greeks are actually planning to invade troy before paris even shows up to take helen and ulysses (odysseus) is the only one who thinks this is stupid. he does manage to convince the rest of them to maybe Not, but then paris takes helen after what's supposed to be him going there to strike a trade deal. and agamemnon uses that as the perfect excuse to justify something he already wanted to do unprovoked anyway. also agamemnon and menelaus were going to violate xenia and kill paris in their home after making him a guest (again, before he does anything with helen) which was ?!?!!? but like similar to epic this is more like an au to me than a faithful iliad adaptation. i also love this helen characterization and the whole dynamic between hector paris and cassandra i wish i could put them all in my mouth and chew them up

ulysses dies at dawn

this is another great one. i will say this is the only album from the mechs i've listened to and the band itself has a whole ton of lore so there may be details i'm missing but i love it so much. this is definitely more of an inspired by tale—takes place in the future (i think?) on a planet that's entirely machine and metal and all animals and natural life is extinct. and all the characters are named after greek mythos characters and they have similar stories to their original counterparts but adapted to this futuristic universe and it's just so unbelievably cool. also ulysses nonbinary in this?! (the narrator says the records are lost to time and we can't be sure if ulysses was a "man, woman, both, or neither" and only refer to them with they/them pronouns) anyway i won't say too much on this one because the story tells itself and i don't want to spoil but GO LISTEN this album is fantastic

hadestown

this one i think is the most popular/well known on this list so most of you have probably heard of it but i'll still give my review. everything about this musical is incredible. i absolutely adore this take on orpheus and eurydice. and this is a take on persephone and hades i don't totally hate (because usually i do) and the way at times they paralleled orpheus to hades??? there was a quote i read from its wiki page once that sums it up pretty well, from todd osborne, "it is a musical both about how art can save us and how, especially in an apocalyptic world, hope might be the only thing we have left." just such a beautiful musical and beautiful story and the themes and messages like stop i could talk about this musical for hours let me stop

for epic i've already summed up most of my thoughts on it here

theseus the musical

um. i'm not going to lie there's multiple parts of this where i do not know what they are saying. i have auditory processing issues and i usually really need the lyrics and i cannot find any anywhere for this so i'm kinda just going on vibes. but the songs are catchy and i like the parts i do understand 😭 and well i love theseus. dearly. my little princess with a disorder my freakazoid i want to trap him in a jar like a bug and shake him around his enclosure. i'll kind of take literally anything i can get on him

penelope off broadway

full title is penelope or how the odyssey was really written and this is such a fun one. this is a comedy musical and the premise is that the epic poem, the odyssey, actually comes from fake letters penelope wrote to stall the suitors in odysseus' absence. so she's just making shit up like "umm... my men got turned into pigs so i'm gonna be late sorry babe :/" and signing it as odysseus. obviously not the most accurate characterizations but again its more of a comedy spinoff than a faithful retelling. telemachus also gets a cute little romance. (spoilers ahead if you care) they scared me for a second i thought they were having it that odysseus cheated penelope and she was gonna leave him but that's not the case and it has a happy ending so <3 this one is just so funky and silly like if you want a lighthearted not super serious musical you will love this it's really adorable and the woman who plays penelope's voice is incredible like omg some of the high notes she hits??? woah

jasper in deadland (tw suicide mention)

this one is also an inspired by/based on tale where jasper (orpheus) follows his friend agnes (eurydice) into deadland in an attempt to get her back from what was either an accident or a suicide attempt (but most likely suicide) he runs into various figures from greek norse and egyptian mythology and like it wasn't bad or anything really the songs just weren't catchy enough for me. i'm not gonna lie that's literally my only issue. i just cannot get into it and listen to it multiple times if it's not catchy enough. but the plot is cute!!

percy jackson the musical

i just don't personally care for percy jackson, sorry. never really did. you'd think as a greek mythology obsessed child i'd eat it up and i mean as a kid i did like it a little but i don't know it just never hooked me. i've tried to get back into it but it's even less enjoyable to me now unfortunately. the songs weren't catchy (to me) and i didn't like the lyrics either. it's not necessarily a bad musical. it's just not my thing

aristos the musical

sorry it just kinda felt like tsoa the musical to me and i immediately couldn't enjoy it 😭😭 that's literally all i have to say

[pumpkinpie59]

ranking the tmnt shows based on plot writing, character writing, and what my preferences are:

first off, plot writing

6, tnm

idk what to put here.

5, 2012

it really sucks because its first season’s writing is unironically my favorite writing in the franchise. but then the show steadily gets messier and more inconsistent writing as it goes forward. especially in season 4. i wish i could defend it more but it is at the bottom for me. besides tnm ig

4, 87

i actually like the arcs in 87, but the thing with 87 is that … the plot isn’t the point! but i don’t consider that a flaw. the show is a comedy first, and it’s great at what it does. so yes, even if the plot episodes are pretty forgettable compared to the goofier episodes, it’s not the worst thing in the world. but it’s still number 4.

3, rise

rise is kinda weird because even tho most of the series is comedy filler like 87, it’s most known for its plot. but i think it earns that because sometimes the show will throw in episodes that foreshadow the big plot at the end of the season, and it handles it pretty well for the most part.

2, tales

i honestly really enjoyed the way the plots were set up in tales. since it’s pretty new, i won’t spoil it, but i think my only actual complaint was the framing devices they used. but otherwise it was pretty good.

1, 03

every once in a while, the show would have a hiccup writing-wise, but overall i liked the flow of the arcs and stories it was trying to tell. out of all the tmnt shows, 03 was the best at juggling several arcs at once and committing to giving them closure (cough. unlike 2012-).

okay character writing rankings.

6, tnm

tbf this one has venus. and a pretty good donnie.

5, rise

this is so controversial i know. but i just get so frustrated with how the show handles leo and donnie’s writing specifically. they feel ooc half the time and there’s little consistency. and then raph and mikey (my favorites of the team) were sidelined a lot.

4, 2012

mikey has no character growth whatsoever and is an adhd stereotype. donnie’s development gets thrown to the background so you only notice it if you’re paying attention to him the entire time. leonardo gradually gets worse over the course of the series and we never see him get better. they couldn’t decide what to do with karai half the time. april’s arc got switched for a different one halfway through (i still love her tho). the only one with a decent arc is raph, and i still think it could’ve been better ://

3, 03

this is not a knock at 03. i just think that character growth wasn’t its priority. telling stories was. however we do occasionally see them go through arcs. most obvious is leo, but i also enjoy seeing raph get less hostile and trusting leo more over the course of the first season.

2, 87

you’d have to watch the whole show to see it, but there’s almost … an accidental ?? arc for each turtle??? raphael gets angrier up until it reaches typical raphael levels in red sky, donatello goes through ups and downs of wishing he was never mutated while still pursuing human-level knowledge, michelangelo early on in the show wished he was more human (he changes his mind after becoming human once, but the feeling lingers a bit sometimes), and leonardo goes through anxieties related to his team (he acts differently about being without them depending on the season). but even without considering development, their personalities are written fantastically and i love seeing how they interact with the world around them.

1, tales

this is suspect to change since we’ve only had a movie and a 12-episode show. but what i’ve seen so far, i’ve really liked. my only complaint is that donnie feels different in the show vs the movie ://

and ,,, my biases

6, rise

sorry.

5, tnm

guilty pleasure idk what to say. uh. venus de milo. and turtlelamb <33

4, tales

i liked it a lot! i just want more characters and world building. we’ll see where it goes in the future.

3, 03

i love many aspects of the show. it’s not quite as entertaining to me as the next to tho. idk why but my attention span just can’t handle too much of it.

2, 2012

i grew up with this one. does it suck? oh yeah for sure lmao. but it’s nostalgic and i like a lot of the characters. and season 1 particularly is amazing. sucks for the rest of the show tho lol. i will unashamedly bully it.

1, 87

wow. who would’ve— i mean. man. who could have possibly guessed— this one has lotus blossom so i’d say this one can’t be beat.

[dragonscalie]

Unironically, Willard is probably one of my favorite franchises. It's not only because it resonated with me so hard as soon as I found it, seeing myself in Willard in a very spefifically autistic way. It's just a perfectly obscure yet pop culture that it's in a perfect middle ground where some people know about it but no one is really annoying about it y'know? I'm usually the only one to talk about it in my everyday life, usually people just know it as the rat movie but they don't usually get it.

Usually when I get into a movie and I learn it has a book based off of it I immediately have to get my hands on it and by far Ratman's Notebooks had to be one of the best (with Carnosaur being the worst.) It highlights everything about Willard as a character I love and his descent into becoming worse and worse until his death. I especially love how every single movie seems to be adapting it in its own way which is something that I find myself loving about this franchise. 1971 is probably the best adaptation, especially in the garden scenes which were sorely missed in 2003. 2003 adapts the dog scene and the tire scene the best and adds a nice gothic atmosphere which isn't Willard in my opinion but it's still a nice breath of fresh air. Ben 1972 is most interesting as its a sequel to the story but it still has its own adaptation of the store scene and has a fantastic interpretation of the rat hunt.

Even the songs about this franchise are great, Willard! by Will Wood is something that has definitely got a ton of neurodivergent teens into this over 50 year old rat madness. It's more than just that though, it focuses on Willard and Socrates' friendship which is something that was greatly improved in the 2003 movie which makes the song incredibly heartbreaking.

Ben's Song was made for the second movie by kid Michael Jackson which makes me incredibly sad that they just didn't get him to play the kid in the film. This song is a focus on Ben and Drew's friendship and has the implied acknowledgement of Ben's abandonment by Willard. It and Ben 1972 as a movie is just such a nice end to Ben's character, I kinda love the open ended ending looking back on it. Did Drew live through his heart surgery? Did Ben grow old and die happy in the arms of his best friend? No one knows! I like to think Ben lived long and happy with Drew, as do probably most people.

Speaking of actors, even if I prefer Bruce Davison as Willard I do really think Chrispen Glover did a good job. Even Lee Montgomery did pretty good as Drew, he was charming in a way. I do think Chrispen is too obvious as the Ratman as the entire point was no one expects it to be Willard but that's okay, that goes with his freak charm I guess. I really wish we could see another adaptation of Willard, particularly one that finally involves the rat mask because we haven't seen it adapted on screen at all and I think its a very iconic part of the book its on the cover for a reason.

A new Willard adaptation would do great as a tv show, adapting all the rat shenanigans from the book every episode in-between his office life. I don't know anyone who would be good at playing Willard himself but I vote for Matthew Lillard to take a crack at Mr Martin as he's too old play the ratman himself.

[woodlaflababab]

hey! can i ask what your thoughts are on sokkaang? why do you ship them?:)

Oh my gosh. Okay, so funnily enough I literally gave a break down to someone yesterday. Sokkaang is my little rare pair gem that I hold close to my heart.

I did write this meta, but that doesn't cover even half my thoughts.

I'll give you the short version first in case you don't want to read my full ramblings:

Sokka is Aang's biggest protector. Aang. The Avatar. Sokka is a nonbender but he don't give a shit bc Aang still needs and deserves protection.

Aang is the biggest believer in Sokka. He thinks all his ideas are genuis, and unironically uses the stupid names he comes up with. He also brings fun to Sokka.

They're smart and wise seperately, but idiots together and I love that. I just think they'd make fantastic partners in all things.

Long Version:

So, I'm a sucker for protective tropes, right? And something that absolutely kills me about Sokka and Aang is that Sokka is a nonbender and Aang is literally the most powerful person on the planet, but it is Sokka who protects Aang. I've always been soft for Aang and more than anything I want good things for him. Too many people throw him at threats, too many people expect great things from him.

Sokka doesn't. He fights Hei Bai for Aang while everyone stands back. He realizes Aang needs them in the Bato episode. His plans to defeat the fire lord are always centered on helping Aang, giving Aang any advantage he can. At this point I'm just repeating my earlier meta BUT

Basically, when I realized this I was just like, "aw, cute friendship"

And then I remembered the fuckin "Toph writes a letter" plan. The two are fucking idiots together. It's hilarious that they affect eachother like this and it's not even like, unrealistic, because of what Aang does for Sokka.

Aang is Sokka's biggest supporter. He usually happily follows Sokka's ideas, he accepts the stupid names Sokka comes up with and uses them unironically. Aang belives Sokka to be a genuis, which means he doesn't question his ideas when they're stupid, he just trusts it's a genuis idea because of course it is, Sokka came up with it. And Sokka soaks that up like a sponge.

People talk about Aang bringing fun to Katara and like, 10/10 I love that, but I feel like it's not talked about as often just how much Sokka changes thanks to the brightness Aang brings. I'm paraphrasing someone elses meta here but I don't remember where I saw it but if you know it lmk, but Sokka literally goes from "You can't fight firebenders with fun" (to which Aang replies "You should try it sometime") to the finale where he gets rid of an entire crew by fucking around all amused at himself. He goes from the most sour character to the joke filled idiot we all know and love. I do believe a lot of that is thanks to Aang's influence.

So, yeah, cute friendship, blah blah, but then I was thinking about post-war them and I realized, despite zukaang being my favorite ship and loving kataang, there's no one I'd rather see travel around with Aang than Sokka. That's always been their dynamic, Aang with the purpose and Sokka with the maps and plans to get it done. I want Aang to be able to continue to rely on Sokka in tough spots, I want Sokka to continue experiencing the world and fun thanks to Aang.

I just don't see Sokka wanting to settle back down and take on the responsibility shoved onto him as a child. He fucking bloomed thanks to being on the road and getting true oppertunities to use his strengths and I want that for him.

And Aang is Not Good at the whole plans and stuff. Sokka is so good at filling the gaps in Aang's abilities and I don't want Aang to lose that. I don't want him to lose the person that says "I don't care if he's the avatar, I'm going to fight his battles with him." I feel like Aang would be lost in some ways without him.

Then I was thinking abt Aang's admiration and belief in Sokka and realized, it wouldn't take much to tip that into a crush, esp for Aang who falls so easily.

And Sokka, we have established, is attracted to people that could kick his ass without ever landing a blow. I can see Tall Aang being Sokka's surprise gay realization.

And I just think, if they were together romantically, it would be so drama free because it would be the epitome of a relationship built on friendship. They'd just be together. No bells or whistles. I feel liked they'd just be chill af about it. They'd love eachother and it'd be as simple as that.

Just, partners, in everything. I love them so much. I'm so alone in shipping this but I have so many sokkaang ideas and they will never not be dear to me. Also, tbh, it helps that Sokka is my favorite character after Aang ksndksnd

[anoopsiedaisie]

My Fionna and Cake episode 7&8 tangent

Lets start it off with the score. 20/20 it was fantastic. my stupid theory post will happen eventually, and I will ABSOLUTELY TALK ABOUT PETRIGROF

The star - Cake thinking Fionna was upset cause her fling died was silly, Fionna was clearly upset before about the candy people. The fight with the vampires was funny but intense, I love how Cake and Fionna care a lot about eachother. Also why does Simon know what holy water taste like. Pb and "Star" was so cute, and I was so right when I talked about us getting more Bubbline on tiktok (Tiktok account is not linked anywhere btw) The vampire world is super sad though, cause they had really been eating for so long, that a potential thousands of people died. Marshall and Gary really lit up the episode from the sadness once again, Gary's tangents of his candy kingdom are so cute. AND HIS HAMBO THINGY IN HIS CAR. Marten and baby Finn are so cute, I wanna legit cry cause HES MEANT TO BE A GOOD DAD BUT HES SO STUPID IN THE OG UNIVERSE. Also imma say this now, Prismo gets in trouble for breaking the rules once and ignoring a few beeps, BUT Scarab ignores several beeps and his entire job and doesn't get in trouble, that boss better have a good reason. Second date (potentially) and Marshall already introducing his boyfriend to his mom, damn. Marshall's mom matches og Hunson perfectly somehow, duche parent club. And Marshall's little blush of embarrassment from his mom acting all weird infront of Gary. Billy's corpse is messed up, like reall messed up, and the reminder of how tall he is is also crazy. I was also wondering the entire time if Pb was human in this universe until she bit off half her arm basically. The Star's outfit is so good, but I wonder how she turned into a vampire now, maybe she was bit in front of that worlds Simon's body and thats why she screamed at something. Already long section so I'll end it here with, I LOVED THIS ENTIRE EPISODE, Huntress dying was sad though, and Gary Marshall kiss was adorable. Closing thought of this episode, Bubbline but toxic yuri. Jerry - Simon and Betty better get a happy ending or I will legit be so sad, they love each other so much, and Betty just legit became part of a god over her Fiance once celebrity crush. I love how gorgeous everything is in this show, Orbo is also a funny character. I feel like someone could narrow down where things and places they go in this Lich's wish universe it'd seem fun at first then spiral though. Simon does NOT know how to draw though get this man an art class. The tree house being naked though, all its leaves gone. Lich's wish to kill all life, really just unironically killed ALL life, down to plants. Fun little references to old episodes, and including one that revolved around Ice king, hmm. Also I wonder the age gap between Betty and Simon, I like to see it as they're like a year apart but Simon just skipped grades cause hes a smart cookie. Also Simon had slides ready for people to be loud, HE WAS READY. Nerd girls in love. I am also guessing Bmo has been alone for awhile now, at least since season 5ish times since thats when the Lich would have made this wish. All the references in Ice King's junk from the melted ice kingdom. Ninja guide books, kunai, vhs tapes and the camera, the pink diary, his bed has the wishing amulet that Gunter used to break bottles. I was RIGHT

Fionna see's how unhealthy Ice King was, and changes her mind and wants him to not become this sad sad man again. Simon would genuinely be such a sweet and wonderful parent, he loved taking care of the babies in the baby universe, and he sees Fionna get happy when he tells his story with Betty and keeps doing it to keep her happy. Neddy is also guaranteed dead, already obvious but the candy kingdom doesn't have the juices being produced. Bmo has done a lot in his isolation, a lot of stuff is changed or moved, I feel so bad for bmo. But the lines "Help me zip up my bra" and "Ooo, butt stuff" Wow. The Simon and Betty stuff makes me so happy, they're so cute and I love them, they need to have a happy ending or I will be so sad. The lesbians ever, I love these lesbians, let the lesbians be happy. Simon struggling to say he loves her is so CUTE. Poor Bmo, I feel so bad, but he was probably so sad being alone, sad in someway. Petrigrof moment was so cute and adorable please, I want them so happy, they deserve to be happy. Now for the bombshell, Jerry. The Lich's wish monkey paw aspect is that he gets depressed and has nothing to do now that all life is gone. Billy's body decomposing as the Lich parasites it. SO, imma theory my reason for the portal finally opening to GolBetty, either it was because the Lich was used as the battle and influenced it in a way to allow it to finally work, OR Betty's wish to keep Simon safe truly included the crown being worn. Like the crown really did trigger GolBetty like "BITCH, NO" or the third that makes probably the most sense, The Scarab was literally about to kill Simon and go against what Betty wants, meaning she is going to interfere. I saw someone say that GolBetty likely wont remember Simon and this could cause something. BUT I REALLY HOPE THEY DONT DO THAT, I WANT THEM HAPPY SO BADLY

[enemyoflactose]

I rate Yu-Gi-Oh characters fit 2 because Tumblr said no to more that 10 images Ó⁠╭⁠╮⁠Ò

8/10

This is what everyone in the Midwest looks like. He is the perfect representation of America. Every time I see him I feel 0.01% more patriotic.

10/10

This is what peak character design is. He looks not only like a zombie, but like he unironically listens to Ayesha Erotica. Perfection at its finest.

7/10

His clothes and glasses are great, don't get me wrong, but my friend said his hair made him look like Aloysius O'Hair and I can't unsee it.

5/10

Where is his dino fit? Where is his inflatable dinosaur costume? This is boring! Love his hair though.

9/10

I love the 90's punk look. Her deck holder-thing being a garter is smart and looks great. If this were her season 4 outfit though, it'd be a 10

20/10

Takahashi didn't need to give us a woman this beautiful and stunning, but he did. He did that for all of us. Everything about her is fantastic.

9/10

He is the definition of badass. The purple compliments his eyes, the double belts are aesthetically pleasing, he is wearing arm wraps. Need I say more?

4/10

What the fuck happened? Who let him walk out of his house in that? The jewelry is nice and looks good on him, but the shirt. The shirt is so ugly. The shirt does not look good on him, it would look better on literally every other character. His final outfit was a massive improvement, but I will never forget that none of his mindslaves stepped out of bounds to tell him he looked goofy.

9/10

Everything is better now. Why didn't Marik just wear this? This is so much better! The jewelry is still the best part, but at least my eyes aren't melting at the sight of his shirt. The cape is a little random, but I think it suits him. His also kind of has the same shape as Yami/Yugi's, and that's a nice parallel.

[isekai-crow]

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

I didn't go into this expecting much, because you can almost never tell if an isekai is going to be good or not (and all the subjectivity that comes with the term 'good'.)

This looks like it's gonna be hella fun.

Overall Score so far: 7.5/10

The summoning to another world as "Heros" to defeat the "Demon King" is your standard isekai plot. It's not original, but it's a good basis for a story, if that's not all there is to the premise. I'm looking forward to how this will get it's own unique twist.

The initial vibes I was getting from it were a mix of

a bad reminiscence of the beginning of "Rise of the Shield Hero" where I was worried that healing magic would be considered a bad or weak ability, and our main character Usato would be looked down on. AND

The great impression of "Wow, I want the Student President Inumaki and Vice President Kazuki to become a poly ship with Usato." I'm just gonna head cannon that the whole way though, thank you very much, they have great vibes together!

I'm thankful the first didn't come to pass, and that the second is going to be the basis for fanfic I look for in the future lol. But also, I hope the Demon King is fun, and that the fox girl doesn't bring any Loli vibes into this.

The green-haired Rose, a healing magic user who is going to train our intrepid healing hero, is the only Voice Actor that popped out at me. Which makes sense, as going through the other voices, it's a lot of small time or up and coming VAs! They're all doing a fantastic job though.

But Rose.

For a second I thought it was the Headmaster from Season 2 of Ancient Magus Bride, as she have a similar low and husky voice. But no, we have Tanaka, Atsuko - The voice of Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell, and where I recognized her from, Hanami from Jujutsu Kaisen!!! She has a very long record of supporting roles in so many anime, and I really like her voice, so I'm glad I get to listen to it here~

Episode 1 Spoilers Below!

Youve got your standard typical kid who is So Normal, and you have the Amazing and Loved By Everyone Student Body Council members, who everyone thinks are dating, and are just So Pretty and Smart and Good At All The Things.

I love how they are both interested in Usato for treating them like normal people, because as we find out, they are just typical high school students. And while they are not actually dating, just spend a lot of time together, I could absolutely peg these two as swingers looking for a third member, and that's all just delusions on my part hahahaha.

Inumaki-sempai, the Student President, is a secret Chu-Ni-Byo, or one of those edgelord kids doing the naruto run and unironically thinks they have special powers to move things with their eyes. It's a phase everyone goes through, even if they won't admit it. But she is SO HYPE to be in an isekai, and I'm right there with her. I would totally react the same way.

And of course, to feed her Chunibyo tendancies, which are immediately spotted by Usato whose image of her is shattered (good, please see her as human), she's gained the power of Lightning Magic. All she needs now is an eye patch and some bandages on her hand, along with manical laughter.

Kazuki, her second in command, seems like a typical Popular Guy, but I love that when he's getting heated over their nonconsensual summoning (despite Inumaki getting hyped in the backgroun), Usato stepping in to calm him down and point out that there is no use getting worked up, is such a good base jumping point for where things will go from here. He's not a particularly interesting character yet, but he's a good guy who wants to protect those around him. It makes sense that he gets Light Magic.

I love that Kazuki has NO IDEA what an Isekai is, and is like - "Light magic... I can blind people I guess???" Has he never even played Dragon Quest? lmao

Usato of course, gets something different, and everyone flips out. He then stops being able to read the room and puts himself in his own situation by mentioning as such in front of Rose, despite the king and magic nun trying to dissuade her from finding out. He's a Super Duper Rare Healing Magic user, because of course he is. He's Protag-kun. But it's fun to see the "tag along" who DIDN'T HEAR THE HERO BELLS WHEN SUMMONED get such a unique skill.

Bless this sweetheart. I hope they can become an awesome trio.

I can't wait to watch episode 2, and see if we get some actual twisted ways to use healing magic to fight.

My hopes for how Healing Magic can be used "incorrectly"

up someone's internal organs with a punch

be able to manipulate their blood or body water content to kill, OR

just toughen this kid up into a fighter who can heal all the damage he takes and turn him into a tank rather than just a support. ZOMBIE FIGHTING STYLE

Either way, I'm gonna enjoy this one!!

ep2 ep3 ep4 ep5 <- these will be links eventually

[thebroccolination]

Ossan's Love Returns…TO MY SOUL

I really have to make a whole giant post about my unironic, sincere love for Ossan's Love because Ossan's Love Returns has only had two episodes so far but holy fuck do I adore it.

Also, like, episode one got past 1.5 million views in under a week. On Viu, I think it was? The hashtag on Twitter is massively active, and all the talk I've seen is meta about the story, praise for the actors, reactions about the episodes, or phenomenal fanart. SO MUCH PHENOMENAL FANART. It's predominantly a Japanese fandom, so it's not the most accessible thing for a lot of people to follow, but after how cruel and vindictive the international fandom of Thai BL series has become over the years, I really needed a return to Japanese fandom etiquette. it's nice to have a peaceful fandom again where people are just, y'know, enjoying a story together. :''')

Also I love Maki so much. I cannot overemphasize my adoration for Maki as a character. And his complexity exists in large part thanks to Kento, who is such an incredible actor and he's just nailing all the nuances of this role in a whole new way. He was 25 when the first OL aired, and he's 31 now, and even though he was fantastic then, he's even better now. And of course Kei is Kei, brilliant as always. I keep saying this over the years, but Haruta in anyone else's hands could have been a disaster. Tanaka Kei just strikes this perfect balance between sincere and goofy.

In the first episode, what Haruta wishes for is world peace, and he's completely sincere when he tells Maki. And instead of tease him for it, Maki just says, "That's the most important thing."

AND EPISODE TWO. I can't even make words about it yet. Just…perfect. Absolutely everything I never thought we'd have after they made the plane show in 2019.

I love this goofy show with my whole soul. :')

[raviolirash]

I think people overindulged in analyzing the characters to the point of them being their projections and not the characters anymore. Like, yes, they are fantastic little guys, but it's usually not that deep. Stories like theirs are pretty common among D&D players. Maybe it's because I'm new to TheFandom™ world, but I've seen takes sooooo stretched that I wonder if we did play the same game.

Yes, there are some meaningful messages about grooming, hubris, trauma, manipulation and corrupting power, and that's great, but it's not a philosophy treatise.

It's a D&D game, a BG3 one: there will be Bhaal, bad guys (squiddy, in this case) and a party of adventures that will do funny things. And that's frankly ok. I'm more surprised on how Larian gave us a great freedom on choices, not just with the dialogues, but also with ambient interaction. Or the great effort that they've put in acting every single line and writing the description of every single item.

I'm happy that people felt seen and happy playing the game, but sometimes an interaction is just an interaction, no need to try to find a hidden message or a great meaning behind it.

I agree and disagree and here is a rant.

Tldr. It's healthy to write analysis and it's good to make your brain think and David Cage should have his fingers cut off. Also the "it's not that deep" crowd is incredibly annoying.

I don't think it's particularly good to have a "consume product, get excited for next product" mentality when it comes to media and just drift through life. I'm not saying that every piece of media deserves a deep analytical philosophical treatment as some of it is just horseshit, but it can be a very fun exercise to just think about things. Even thinking about why something sucks in detail is an exercise in clearly laying out your argument, which is a valuable skill to have. It's also okay to say "Hey. This thing is objectively terrible, but I nonetheless love it without any elaboration." That's me with Cube Zero. It is an awful movie, I love it so much! I think writing unironic deep thoughts about how the plot of the movie is actually deep and it is commentary on the prison system and capitalism is incredibly stupid.

However.

I think when we resort to mindlessly consuming content without giving much thought to it with a "it ain't that deep" mindset is when good writers get burnt out and we allow hack frauds such as David Cage to fester. And that is criminal to me. Because fuck that guy. We get a video game where a robot is forced to sit in the back of the bus in an incredibly poor analogy for racism, and people enable him and say that it's good writing and he announces a new game and we are in hell! Who keeps giving him money?

That being said. There are many times when writing actually means something and it's frustrating when people dismiss it as "lol silly dnd game". Some people do over-analyze it, yes. Some people say something incredibly insane like that woman with a 7 minute video about how Wyll is a cop with NPD. What the fuck was that. But here is the thing with writing: Unless you're Steven Moffat, words and actions in a story are almost always written to actually mean something. It's written to be important and it's healthy to think about it. In TV shows, yes: sometimes the curtains are just blue because the person decorating the film set just felt like blue curtains would look neat. It is an entirely different thing when explicitly pointed out in written form or said in dialogue.

I often think of that one interview with Harlan Ellison, where he discusses Ellen in IHNMAIMS. A reader of the book didn't know that Ellen was black. Harlan being Harlan, asked them what the fuck the reader was talking about as he literally wrote the line "…her ebony skin in the snow" in the goddamn book. The reader didn't forget that line! In fact, they thought that it was some unimportant metaphor and it wasn't that deep. So he pushed extra hard for Ellen to be black in the game adaptation because people were just that fucking stupid.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Guinan

By Ames

Guinan gives The Next Generation the closest thing the show gets to a wizard: just some kind of supernatural being whose unquestioned wisdom gets the heroes out of scrape after scrape but whose true powers are never entirely explained. Oh, and she wears baller hats.

Sure, she may play into that “bartender, here to listen to your problems and guide you on your path” trope (which frankly Deanna should be doing but rarely does), but Guinan is so much more than that. We’re going to get into the good number of moments this week on A Star to Steer Her By, so get ready for your personal epiphany as you read on below and listen to our chatter on the podcast (pull up a stool at 1:02:25). El-Aurians are always listening.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Whole generations of disposable people Simultaneously one of Picard’s best scenes, the peptalk Guinan gives to Jean-Luc when he’s being thoroughly whooped by Riker’s prosecution in “The Measure of a Man” feels like a turning point in the show. Whoopi Goldberg’s calm presence as a Black woman in a scene about creating androids as slaves imbues their discussion with meaning, weight, and stakes that are both personal and universal.

Every time you feel love it’ll will be different The perpetual sounding board, Guinan helps Wesley parse his feelings at the end of “The Dauphin” in a scene we really give the both of them credit for. Guinan doesn’t speak down to the kid or just tell him everything will be okay while he’s broken hearted after watching Salia leave. She tells it like it is: love is deeply subjective and his feelings are valid.

A warrior’s drink Guinan introducing Worf to prune juice in “Yesterday’s Enterprise” is such a perfect microcosmic scene depicting her character in a lot of ways. She just knows people. Worf is a tough nut to crack, but she reads people in such a way that she figures out just what he’d like in a drink, just as she does later in the episode on a much greater scale…

I look at things, I look at people, and they just don’t feel right …when she figures out the parallel dimension problem at the heart of “Yesterday’s Enterprise.” In that slightly fantastical wizard way she has, Guinan can feel that something is wrong with the timeline when the Enterprise-C shows up out of some rift or other and suddenly her once familiar crewmates are denizens of a warship. And even better, she gets Picard to believe her.

You have to let go of Picard Whenever anyone on the crew needs a little guidance, that seems to come from a really great scene with the ship’s bartender, and who could possibly need it more than Riker at the top of “The Best of Both Worlds, Part 2”? She gives him the confidence he needs to keep going in the absence of Picard, whom she insists she’s super close to for reasons we don’t know yet.

Job opening in the Empath field Another crisis, another peptalk from Guinan. We all know Troi handles losing her empath powers in “The Loss” pretty terribly, but you know who handled it great? This El-Aurian bartender I know who swoops in and reverse psychologizes Troi with such stealth that even if she had all her senses at the time, Deanna wouldn’t have known what hit her!

You saw exactly what you wanted to see in the holodeck It is downright glorious how Guinan puts Geordi in his place in “Galaxy’s Child” when he’s unironically whining about how Leah Brahms is nothing like the hologram he created of her (vom!). “She's probably done the most horrific thing one person can do to another,” she says, “not live up to your expectations,” and I can’t help but stand up and applaud.

I’ve heard some Klingon belly laughs that would curl your hair Guinan’s advice to crewmembers isn’t limited to the human ones! In “Redemption,” she not only schools Worf in holodeck target practice (and left-landed, to boot!), but she also makes him consider what it means to be Klingon, as his experiences are atypical from most of his people. We have no doubt that her chat with him inspired him to get involved in Kurn’s war.

You ain’t never had a friend like me When Guinan sees other officers like La Forge pointedly avoiding Ro Laren, she makes it a point to befriend her in “Ensign Ro.” That in and of itself is very Guinan-like behavior, but it also comes with some of her copyrighted motivational chats when she is able to convince Ro to come clean to Picard about the secret mission she was tasked with for Admiral Kennelly.

I tell you, that razorbeast was a good friend All throughout “Imaginary Friend,” while the other officers not only infantilize Clara Sutter for having an imaginary friend, but they entirely ignore the signs that something isn’t right. Everyone except Guinan. Guinan talks to Clara as an equal, even if she’s a child, and imparts the story of her own imaginary friend: a Tarkassian razor beast, which somehow seems fitting.

We are also lonely Despite being conflicted about Hugh being on board in “I, Borg,” Guinan goes and meets with him and it’s such a cute little scene. You forget that someone as old and wizened as Guinan still has things to learn, and to find some common ground with a Borg was unexpected for her. And she even convinces Picard to see him too, giving us yet another great scene from this great episode.

Why are you still sitting here? Let’s see, is there a single member of the crew Guinan hasn’t peptalked yet… ah right, Dr. Crusher. Now we have a full BINGO card! Our final tete-a-tete from Guinan comes in “Suspicions” when Bev is doubting her decisions to look into Dr. Reyga’s murder and Guinan cheers her on until the good doctor solves the mystery, kills the baddy, and flies in a sun like a badass! Truly so many of our Best Moments from other character spotlights are initiated by Guinan!

—

Worst moments

Give yourself permission to be selfish Guinan’s first significant scene in the series is in “The Child,” and of course she’s doing better counseling than Troi. However, your hosts here at SSHB can’t help but cringe because, while the show got rid of Beverly Crusher for a season, it means we were still stuck with Wesley because Guinan convinced him to stay, especially after a season in which we were so annoyed by his character all the time! Guinan, how could you?

You’re a ‘droid and I'm a ‘noid You saw above all the times Guinan helped all the other characters with a little self introspection to find their way through a problem, and the one character whom I’d say she fails with is Data in “The Outrageous Okona.” It’s probably because encouraging Data to consult Joe Pesci on how to do comedy led to the events of my least favorite TNG episode, and it’s all Guinan’s fault!

Tell me more about my eyes While the scene in which Riker flirts with Guinan when Wesley asks for dating advice in “The Dauphin” is hot as hell and inspired a little bit of shipping, we’ve got to admit that it’s not at all helpful to Wesley. Usually Guinan scenes are much more beneficial to the crewmember who is struggling, and in this one, none of this is what Wes asked for. I’m still totally into it though.

Let me introduce you to the Borg We learn in “Q Who?” that the El-Aurians were almost wiped out by Borg… because apparently Guinan and her people never told Starfleet this before? Think about it: she clues Picard in after Q has flung them into the Delta Quadrant about who the Borg are, and it is news to him! Starfleet spends every other interaction with Borg playing catch up because they don’t have any info on them!

That’s what you get, Charlie! You get fork stabbed! Pardon the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia quote, but I couldn’t help myself. And Guinan seems to me no better than a McPoyle when she stabs the suddenly human Q with a fork in “Déjà Q” and generally mocks him. It just seems petty and violent for a character who is usually so stoic and reserved. So much for the tolerant Alpha Quadrant.

But I know it was an empty death, a death without purpose While Guinan had a lot of instances from our Best Moments list above from “Yesterday’s Enterprise,” we’re still troubled by her nudging Tasha Yar to go sacrifice herself on the Enterprise-C to make up for her waste of a death in “Skin of Evil.” Even if you consider it a better death than a tarpit, then you get freakin’ Sela in “Redemption,” which Guinan somehow blames Picard for when she’s the one who compelled Yar to go!

That was setting number one While some might give credit to Guinan for quelling a riot before it could get out of control when everyone was on edge due to sleep deprivation in “Night Terrors,” I’m not one of them. As I said in “Déjà Q,” violence doesn’t seem the answer for Guinan, and this scene escalated so quickly (partly because the bar scenes in this episode feel like afterthoughts), it makes me wonder how she let things get that bad.

A Yankee in Captain Picard’s Court Oh boy, I’ve got to question some of Guinan’s standards when we see her hanging out with Samuel Clemens in “Time’s Arrow” (and a terribly acted Sam Clemens at that!) after Picard had claimed in “Ensign Ro” that she’s very picky about her friends. Her cohorting with the author led to some of the most obnoxious scenes from The Next Generation that I’ve ever seen.

Our relationship is beyond friendship, beyond family There are several instances of Guinan hinting at her and Picard’s established kinship before we get to the story of the bald man who was kind to her in “Time’s Arrow” and my reaction was… that’s it? We say sometimes that leaving something unexplained is better than giving it a stupid explanation, and oh boy, Picard just sitting with Guinan in a cave once was totally fizzled what had been built up for so long.

Were you this much fun when you were a kid? Some of this is the overall child acting being bad in “Rascals” and Guinan’s child actor had it especially stacked against her since her voice had to get dubbed (resulting in her just sounding super smug all the time), but boy was she insufferable as a child! It was cute for adult Guinan to befriend adult Ro in “Ensign Ro,” but we felt bad that little Laren had to put up with this! Let this girl mope by herself, lady!

Forty to love Though Guinan helps boost Beverly’s confidence in “Suspicions,” she does it by tricking her with this lie about playing tennis that just seemed unnecessary. Guinan always finds ways to converse with people who need it, but this whole tacked-on frame story had some weirdness to it because it forced both Guinan and the episode to be indirect when it really didn’t have to.

Think of me as an echo of the person you know I’ll take every opportunity I get to shit on the Nexus in Generations. It’s just such a confusing device they used to get Picard and Kirk together that really makes no sense if you think about it for more time that it’s actually onscreen, which isn’t a lot. And there’s an echo of Guinan in there, feeding Picard exposition and generally complicating what this place is supposed to be, and I’m just done with it.

—

That’s enough from Guinan’s advice column this week! We’ve got a really special DOUBLE spotlight next week, in which Tasha Yar and Ro Laren are going to go head to head for the title of Baddest Bitch on the Enterprise-D. Place your bets now and be sure to come back for that! Also keep coming back for more of our series watch of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts, order a drink with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and enjoy your prune juice.

[1moreff-creator]

Brain go brr on the Q&A

+Xander trying to hide his piercing from his school is so him, I love it.

+Listen, I don't want to overthink the Q&A too much, but my brain won't let me be normal about some things. The birthday thing caught my eye. Supposedly, some of the dates are important, but the rest are meant to be spread out, right? But Veronika and David's birthdays are, like, two days apart, so does that mean they're important? Same with Ace and Arei (ike three days), but at least Ace's birthday is Halloween so it's not hard to figure out. I don't remember most of the other birthdays, so I don't know if there's more examples.

+Why is this the "new David"'s default sprite? Is he so smug it runs all the way to his default pose? What.

+David can cook, malewife status confirmed. Also, "how does he handle his feelings? Badly" That's hilarious.

+New info on the Spurlings! This is getting outta hand, now there's two of them! I'm really intrigued as to what the hell their deal is. And Duke could have been alive during the Tragedy? What are we implying here? So many questions!

+Ace is officially gay! Many people are happy with this development. Though I have to ask, did anyone ship him with any woman? Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen that. Anyways, not like it matters now!

+Pan Veronika, pan Veronika, pan Veronika yes! I love it! New headcanon; she just dates/has sex with anyone she thinks will be entertaining to date/fuck. "Bit-sexual", as internet funnyman Alpharad would put it.

+I swear the David sexuality thing is an actual quote from somewhere. Hold on.

Found it! Not the exact wording, but Andrew Garfield said something like it once. I love it, it's perfect for David!

+So Charles' scar is a dog bite, but he doesn't remember and thinks it's a birthmark? Is it... related to his brother's death? Dev, what. You can't just say things like that and then not elaborate. /j

+Levi with a sweet tooth is fantastic. I think it was already implied in his profile, but it's still great!

+Alright, about favorite colors:

Teruko: red (reasoning: association)

So... Xander or Mai? I'm leaning towards Mai, frankly.

Charles: "Why would I assign emotional value to colors? That's a ridiculous waste of energy." (cerulean)

That quote is hilarious. And now I can't help but imagine Charles unironically writing "cerulean orbs" in a fanfic-

Whit: neon pink (reasoning: "Pink!!")

God, I love these characters.

J: black (reasoning: cool)

I wouldn't expect less.

Nico: none (reasoning: no interest)

I honestly kinda love this, but also what does it mean.

Ace: dark blue/purple (reasoning: refuses to provide reasoning)

Acevi shippers are eating today, holy.

Arei: azure (reasoning: "I'm blue, so clearly it's the best color!")

Why did you have to die?

Min: taupe (reasoning: comforting)

Min information: absorbed. Love it. Also her design has a lot of taupe (I think) so it's comforting to me too.

Veronika: white in conjunction with other colors (reasoning: brings out other colors well)

Huh.

Alright, now least favorite:

Whit: gray (reasoning: boring)

Alright, tone it down, Kamukura.

Rose: none (reasoning: all colors have their value in the right situations)

Fantastic, I adore this.

Eden: blue (reasoning: "Kind of a downer color...")

Areden shippers in shambles. How would you say this about your girlfriend's color, Eden?

J: pink (reasoning: obvious)

If you listen closely, you'll hear Whit's heart breaking in the distance. But this is expected.

Hu: blueish white (reasoning: sterile)

This is Arturo's fave. Are we setting up a foil thing here? I'd honestly love to see it, Arturo and Hu may be the characters I want to see the most of after maybe Veronika.

Nico: white (reasoning: unsettling)

Nico, what- what the hell are you talking about?

Ace: titian (reasoning: doesn't like himself)

Ouch.

Min: white and pink together (reasoning: annoying)

Dude, Whit cannot stop catching L's here, what is going on. Anyways, Min info absorbed.

Veronika: white in the absence of other colors (reasoning: soulless)

So, this is pretty interesting and all that... but she dislikes the same color as Nico? The Vero-Nico dynamic grows stronger! You love to see it. Or I love to see it, I adore them as friends/spiritual siblings.

+Ace has nine siblings?! That's a lot of kids!

+Nico cuts their own hair, and gets the cat ear things to stay up? Ultimate Hairdresser in the bulding!

+

Veronika's single green earring is a 'good luck charm' given to her by her dearest friend.

Aafgsj- Who?! Okay, first, I didn't even realize she had that, so thanks for pointing it out. Second, you can't just say that! Because you know I'm gonna assume that's Mai, especially with it being a 'good luck' charm when Mai is (kinda) the antithesis of Teruko and thus (kinda) the antithesis of bad luck. Am I to assume Veronika will be plot relevant now? Because I sure hope she is! I wasn't supposed to overthink the Q&A, dev, but look at what you're doing to me!

+Now the ice cream flavors:

Charles - coffee

This is actually stated in his profile. You gotta admire the consistency.

Hu - rose

Honey, wake up, a new random ship based on one (1) detail just dropped. It's a pretty cute one, too.

Nico - "the flavor" (doesn't elaborate further)

What is Nico doing in this Q&A? What am I supposed to gather from this?

Min - lemon

Min info drop spotted. I'm very normal about this character.

Xander - sauerkraut???

Xander, what the fuck are you talking about.

Veronika - funfetti

Honestly love this. White with other colors, right? It's perfect!

+Rose's painting preferences are cool to know, and she does give off a bit of middle child vibes, idk why. And two moms? Pog.

+That concept art! DRDT would have ended a lot earlier if Arei simply had a gun.

+Smells! (which of you people-)

Veronika - Womanly perfume (heavy)

I... was not expecting that! But it's Veronika info, so I absorb it. I kinda like the idea.

Nico - Cat

The more I learn about Nico, the more I love them.

Min - Lavender/eucalyptus/lemons/whatever essential oil she decided to use that day

W-Why does she use essential oils? I guess they must help her relax, because there's no way she actually believes they have any other benefit. Unexpected, but it's neat.

Whit - Fruity fun shampoo (for kids)

Yeah, yeah.

+Interesting that the Spurling Foundation and XF-Ture Tech don't have any connection, I guess that post I made on Min's secret is slightly outdated. Still, XF-Ture Tech "seems to do a lot of other things", huh? Peculiar.

I loved this Q&A, it was so much fun! I hope something like this is done again in the future, it's great.

[9leaguesofmirrors]

League of Gentlemen Hot Takes/Opinions

I love making these, so you get another one! This time, it's a TLOG post full of my personal opinions

Ollie Plimsolls is one of the most cleverly written characters in TLOG, a fantastic satire of self‐righteous people that fuel their saviour complex while holding prejudice themselves

The debt collectors were underused, especially the dynamics between Barry-Lisgoe and Barry-Glenn; hell, even Lisgoe-Glenn was unexplored. Apparently they were meant to be in season 1, I'd have loved to see where The Gents would've gone with their characters and dynamics

Speaking of Lisgoe, WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO GIVE HIM SHORTS IN THE LIVE SHOW?! The jacket looked so cool, why did they pair it was shorts and tights!? He looked badass in the series and the live show jacket is awesome, who thought "y'know what would make this better? Stupid little 3/4 length shorts!" Terrible

Voodoo Lady is unironically a good song and I truly think Creme Brulee would've been pretty successful in real life

Pauline x Mickey will always have my heart I'm sorry the progression of their relationship was so wholesome

As a lesbian, I must admit Mark, Reece and Jeremy weren't wrong when they said Steve looked dashing as Jed Hunter

Papa Lazarou is a little overrated, he had funny moments but there are better characters in the show

I wish people wouldn't ignore Jeremy Dyson, he wrote TLOG too and his contributions shouldn't get ignored because he wasn't in the show (other than cameos). It's a shame when people edit/talk about the League Of Gentlemen as a group and only mention Reece, Steve and Mark

Season 3 was so clever and I loved how it gave other background characters more screentime... but I did kind of miss Benjamin, though I understand why they didn't include him

I could watch an entire spin-off series about Geoff Tipps and his friends, just them getting up to chaotic antics