#I love fuckable men I love men that could be a father or brother figure I’m Multifaceted

[canisonicscrewyou]

Top 5 men

- David Tennant

- Hugh Dancy

- Arthur Darvill

- Michael Sheen

- the McElroy brothers AND my brudder and brudder in law 😤

But also:

- doctor who

- Rory williams

- Aziraphale and Crowley if you wanna consider them men

- will graham

- Cecil Palme

[dearmrsbitch]

January 29, 2020 - Catfishing

         My father is in his mid-80s and is highly educated and extremely intelligent. He and my stepmother were together for 45 years, until she passed away last year. She raised me, and I’ve been struggling to process my grief. I know I haven’t been calling him as often as I should or would like to. I called him last week, and he dropped a bombshell. He is planning a trip to Ukraine to meet a woman he met online, who is supposedly 26 and a model.        

         He told me that, when he spoke with my brother recently, my brother reacted the same way I did: “Are you sure you’re not being scammed?” When I called my brother to talk to him about this, he said this was the first he’s hearing about it. I want my dad to be happy. If he spends all of our (considerable) inheritance, well, that’s not ideal, but if he has adventures and skids into the grave with $20 in his bank account, at least he had fun! My stepmother was very ill for over a decade, so he definitely deserves it. But I don’t want him to be hurt. How can I convince him he’s going to either show up and never meet her or have far worse consequences (kidnapping, extortion, etc.)?        

         —Catfished Dad       

Dear Catfished,

Well, yes, your dad is likely walking into a trap. While not widely reported to traditional media, because the men are ashamed of it, it is pretty common for men who come to Russia or Ukraine looking for these young women, to get robbed and beaten up.

That’s why the women often tell them to bring cash, and why so many of these buy a brides usually invite their “brothers” to the US if they do come over, and the “brothers” end up being their husbands or lovers.  Trust me, I dealt with enough of these bitches at the state office to know. 

There’s entire networks of these people out there, especially in Russia and the Ukraine, that are basically robbery networks - they have the hook up from old mob stuff, etc.  That’s not to say all of them are, but let’s be honest, no 26 year old wants your dad’s saggy old balls.

Sorry, I know men want to fantasize that these women really want them, and that they can play the big American hero scooping up the tiny, fuckable Ukrainian sex doll who will worship their cock and be the little perfect anti-feminist housewife who will fuck them while they eat a big homecooked meal.  Aww...  such sad. Much fantasy.

It doesn’t happen.  If there are any men reading this:  Stop. thinking. with. your. dick.  No women from these countries really want you, you’re a means to an end and you’re likely participating in sex trafficking. 

I have had enough screaming Russian women in my office to know that these men end up clean out and raked over while their buy a bride uses their cash to nab false documents. 

Your father is heading for a disaster. 

You have a few options.  You or your brother can go with your father, not to the actual meeting, mind you, but you can go to Ukraine and wait nearby to see what happens.  You know the whole routine, get two different tables at a coffeeshop, etc?

Or, you can call in a bit of a tip about the money.  See, there’s all these fun rules about traveling with cash.  She’s likely asked him to bring cash, so you can call the cops or the airlines and tip them off that a passenger is traveling a bit too money heavy and that will get them pulled from the flight.  He’ll likely lose the money, pending appeal, but it’s better than ending up funding a sex trafficker.  Also, maybe the cops telling him that a Ukrainian 26 year old asking for $10K is a fucking scam. 

The third is, you could tell him to only carry traveler’s cheques and leave his credit and debit cards at home.  If my experience in these countries is to be recalled correctly, using credit and debit is a pain in the fucking ass.  Hell, it was a pain in England.  I would tell him that his cards won’t work and to leave them at home and you’ll wire him any extra money.  If he pays ahead for his hotel, he won’t need more than $2000.  Unless this girl is a gold digger... and maybe hint to him that if she really wants him, she won’t expect him to spend his whole savings in one go, right? 

You could also call Dr. Phil on him, apparently he loves to do tons of shows showing these people they’re being scammed.

It’s sad, your dad is lonely wants to think that someone wants him.  But he also wants it on his terms - ie. young and pretty.   He needs to interact with a woman who is more his own age and speed.  Not live out some sad Hefner fantasy world.  Sadly, he’s probably going to get kicked around a bit before he figures that out.

Mrs. Bitch

[thelittlestspider]

💔💕

*cracks knuckles* this post got long, so i had to put it behind a cut. 

💔: give a brief character bio of your 3-5 MCs

unstable cliffs:

joe alvarez - a disaster and a wannabe father figure to his fellow supersoldiers (a bother figure in daniel’s opinion). joe is a master at deflecting and using humor as a coping mechanism, much to the dismay of the people around him. he’s good at making snap decisions in fights, steals from rich people, likes fixing stuff, and is terrible at romance. joe and alec divorced a year or so prior to unstable cliffs due to irreconcilable differences (joe being shaken by alec’s relentless pursuit of the paranormal and the trauma caused by alec’s parents). he reconnects with carter, who he’d been forcefully separated from 11 years prior due to the fire set the ranch, eventually realizing he’s developed romantic feelings for him. he invites carter to run away with him to go on a roadtrip to escape from their problems for a while. 

carter - the very definition of “local man ruins everything.” carter has a long history of running away from his problems (and his partners). he’s constantly spaced out due to sleep deprivation, anxious, depressed, deeply insecure, and tries to disappear, failing miserably (it’s hard to disappear when you’re 6′4 and constantly fighting people picking on your partners). carter was possessed by a demon for a year after striking a deal to save matteo’s life. post-possession carter falls into a deep depression, finding it hard to connect with the others after the experience. when joe suggests the roadtrip carter accepts. 

no man’s an island:

matteo alvarez - joe’s younger brother, carter’s ex-bf. matteo left home at 18 to find his missing father, brother, and cousin, who all disappeared under mysterious circumstances. he finds carter during his search and falls in love with him, but is separated from him by a demon. later he tries to reconnect with carter post-possession, but the strain is too much for their relationship and they break up. he pursues an equally heartbroken alec as a rebound. 

alec - joe’s ex-husband. the son of a demon and a ruthless crime boss. carter’s half-brother. alec’s trying to find his footing after the divorce and the trip to hell that almost ended with the group’s deaths, but he’s floundering. 

ned miller - alec’s ghosthunting partner and a self-proclaimed skeptic. he and alec had a years long rivalry due to them refusing to admit their feelings for each other; now they’re inseparable. ned disapproves of matteo’s relationship with alec, still hurt from joe’s rejection of both he and alec. 

tiffany - a ghosthunting psychic from a small town. tiffany started ghostbusting after the tragic death of her parents, desperately trying to find their spirits so she can find closure. she and carter used to ghostbust together before carter’s decision to leave she and violet behind. tiffany almost convinced carter to come back prior to carter’s possession, but was unable to reach him afterward. 

nina - nina met the scooby gang after tiffany and carter investigated her haunted house. she developed a crush on tiffany that turned into a romance and also slowly began cultivating a friendship with carter. after the big breakup, nina is caught between her gfs, carter, and matteo, trying to keep everyone from falling apart. 

violet - violet is carter’s childhood friend, and ex-gf. she hates violence and desperately wants to live a normal life with her partners. violet helps the others rescue carter partly out of guilt and partly because he’s her friend. she hoped maybe there was a chance they could rekindle their romance, but carter leaving with joe shattered it. 

💕: what has your favorite scene been? 

unstable cliffs:

uhhhhh, so far probably the joe/carter scenes i think from day 7.

warning(s): sex mention. 

joe drifts into wakefulness slowly. he smiles as he presses his face into carter’s pillow, the scent of his shampoo both heady and comforting. the space where carter slept is warm, so he can’t have been up for long; joe finds it strange that carter always wakes up before him, despite complaining about it. minutes tick by. time flows slow and sweet as honey. he’s tempted to go back to sleep, but the want to see carter wins out, and he hefts himself out of bed with a yawn and a stretch that makes his back pop. the faint sound of carter brushing his teeth comes through the crack in the bathroom door. joe opens the door further, pleased at the sight that greets him.

carter’s hair is a mess. he’s wearing a loose fitting top with one thin strap falling off his shoulder that’s between blue and green — like the ocean, he thinks — and white shorts with pink hearts. there’s a patch of skin on his right cheek splotchy pink from pressing his face into the pillow. foamy white toothpaste leaks out of carter’s mouth into the sink while carter stares at him in the mirror mid-brush, wide eyed. his cheeks redden. brown eyes flick away from his to some middle distance and joe realizes with a frown that carter’s embarrassed for joe to see him like this.

the night before comes back to him and the other nights before it. the way carter had dressed up in that expensive lingerie to impress him, how he had focused so hard on his pleasure instead of his own, how his hands shook with nervous energy that he’s now realizing hadn’t all been from arousal. the way he always woke before joe and how he always looked neat as a pin. he wonders about the men who came before him, who made carter feel like he couldn’t just exist around them without worrying about whether they found him fuckable. the thought fills him with a sadness that makes his heart hurt as much as it sickens him.

“hey,” he says, soft. “missed you.”

carter leans down to sip from the tap, rinses his mouth, and spits. wipes his mouth with a hand towel hanging by the sink. he doesn’t look at joe. joe’s stomach twists.

“i’m sorry.”

carter looks at him then, brows pulled together in confusion. “what for?” he turns to face joe, corners of his lips turned down in a frown, and joe reaches out for him slow, giving him time to pull away. carter loops his arms around joe’s neck as joe rests his hands on carter’s waist, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over soft skin.

“for not listening to you better.” carter blinks at him, a hesitant smile creeping over his face, head tilted like a bird listening to an unfamiliar song. he doesn’t understand what joe’s trying to say to him. what he needs him to know.

“you don’t have to impress me. i like being with you. that’s enough for me.”

carter searches his face for a moment.

“okay,” whispers carter.

“i’m gonna do right by you,” joe whispers, pressing a chaste kiss against carter’s cheek. “whatever it takes.”

carter nods, eyes shining. “me too. i just. i don’t want to lose you, because i’m not good enough.”

no man’s an island: 

for nmai i’d say…it’s either this scene:

candles sit in haphazard placements in alec’s room. cool air flows in from the open window.

the light from the candles casts shadows on alec’s face, making his delicate features seem sharper in the gentle glow. he looks almost otherworldly then, flickering between light and darkness.

“i was trying to be romantic,” alec ducks his head, cheeks pink.

“no look, i,” matteo takes alec’s hand, laying a kiss on his knuckles. “i love it. i was just stunned by…you.”

for a second alec looks surprised, eyes wide. then alec smiles.

“did i cast a spell on you?” asks alec, teasing him.

“maybe,” replies matteo. more than you’ll ever know.

or this one

warning(s): semi-graphic conversation about sex. (heed the warning)

matteo tries to put aside his jealousy because that’s what a good boyfriend does…right? he holds his hand out for daniel to shake, unsure if any of this is the right thing at all.

daniel assesses him with bored disdain, then turns to carter. “this guy? really?”

“what the fuck does that mean?” asks matteo, as carter reddens. who does this guy think he is? thinks matteo, feeling put on the defensive. daniel smirks. fucker. he tilts his head like he’s thinking hard about what he’s about to say. like he gives a shit about matteo’s feelings at all.

“you just don’t seem like his type, that’s all.” the situation is spiraling fast and normally matteo would try to derail it but fuck this guy. he wants to punch that smug smirk off his face. daniel’s smile turns razor sharp. “you’re boring. lazy. selfish. you lack imagination and intuition about your partner’s needs. i bet you just lie back and let him do all the work, don’t you? you expect it.” he glares up at matteo, eyes simmering with barely checked anger, words dripping with acid.

“then on the rare occasion you top, you probably fold him into the missionary position at exactly nine o'clock, and give him one orgasm – if you’re lucky. or you fuck him from behind because it’s easier. that way you don’t have to look at his face. afterward he probably goes into the bathroom to jerk off after you’ve fallen asleep, because carter is a people pleaser at heart, and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. am i on the money so far, or do you want me to keep going? because i can go on and on and on.”

“daniel stop,” carter whispers. “please.”