#I love characters who overcompensate trying to act cool and in control who are actually so awkward and insecure and just rlly need to be

[bakaramia]

Vox no matter what the ppl on twitter do to you you will always be the overcompensating insecure tsundere baby I saw and fell in love with the first time I watched Hazbin.

[big-box-of-kinda-silly-fop-ideas]

Just wanted to make like a proper way bio thing for peri (irep coming soon probably if i bother)

I would write fanfiction but uh idk if i could so these are more like characters notes

real long post below

Peri is a highly independent adult, he doesn’t like being coddled or touched without any warning and isnt the type to ask for help at all even if he really needs it. He’s an extremely closed off person using the suave act as a way to personally seperate himself to others which he developed due to his celebrity status, the suave personality also acts as a way to keep face as he never knows where could be camera. He pretends this cool collected guy, that can worm his way to getting anything (which is true) that has everything under control but in reality he’s this kinda dorky dude, that always anxious on how people perceive him and his grades. He’s an overachiever, after the initial first baby born hype died down he’s mostly known as the really smart youngest fairy in existence, he’s was an academic weapon throughout spellementary school and hs (im basing his education system off mine which is only two schools no middle 4-12 and 12-18) and came to uni with overconfidence in his educational abilities. Theres one thing thats consistent between his suave act and his actual self which is he’s petty as hell and very snarky, you can try talking him down but he’ll roast you back or give you a vaguely threatening threat. As well as being a bit prideful and vain, like he knows he’s pretty and smart and cares a lot about his appearance.

In this uni au he’ll be a bit of a static character he doesnt grow much, and struggles with demonstrating his affection or his struggles. (Which is why dev and peri dont exactly work much cause peri is overcompensating on how much coddling he got, and show affection in a more subtle way that dev doesn’t need as he need a more direct way (and heres a thought i dont think peri wouldve ever said he cared for dev unless delirious) ) . But he’s more openly affectionate with his parents cause he loves them. What he mainly goes through is humbling, he starts fairly prideful and overconfident but starts to slowly crumble from the pressure and anxiety. As in he doesnt say no to anything, hes somehow always busy or doing something, he also studies not enough and too much (crams shit in) and he also got his celebrity things to do. Another arc will be opening up to Goldie and Irep (but they'll be his only friends) cause he doesnt learn shit about how to socialise without depending on the act. He’s also easily frustrated, if things dont go in the way he wants he gets frustrated at himself, like he really put his self worth on his abilities to do things and less on who he is as a person. Like everyone praised him for his intelligence, charm, talent, magic and appearance, like he hates being coddled but he likes being praised, while irep doesnt get praised and seeks getting praised. But that doesnt change the fact he is a genuinely nice-ish person he just doesn’t like disappointing people, especially those close to him but he’s got a bit of an ego but not in a narcissistic way but in a young adult way where he doesnt exactly think for others first but for himself because he doesnt want to disappoint people. (Which is seen in battle of dimmsonian where hes more worried about being seen by his parents and his career choices then dev). Which is also why he’s a stickler to the rules, like he doesnt want people to think he’s bad person but also jorgen literally drilled it into him that breaking the rules is bad. Like he’s the type to do it right by the books, that comes from him being a bit of a people pleaser, and genuine concern of him messing up his perfect facade.

Speaking of Goldie, i would describe their relationship as fairly close. It takes a while for the either of them to open up to anything personal but they start off as friends of mutual benefits. They use eachother as study buddies, people to hang out with and to talk about their slightly weird interests. And the more they go through uni the more they will confide with each other. Like i imagine a tipping off point for their friendship is when peri finally breaks and gets like a panic attack, Goldie will be there to boost him up. Irep is also their friend but he’s in it more to best Peri or to piss him off. Irep is one of few to see through his act and knows how to break it.

Like genuinely i do think hazel and peri may be counterparts to each other like they both lost their sibling figure, both overthinks scenarios and both want to be appear more mature then they actually are. Like i want anw to be where he grows the most because he’s more challenged to question his behaviours and habits, especially with how these traits affect his and dev’s relationship for the worse.

[vivithefolle]

I was always confused by Hermiones behavior towards Ron in OOTP. Was she trying to hide her feelings? because she didn't really gave him any signs. Why she was so nasty at him with the teaspoon thing. Was she trying to make him jealous with the letters? What did or didn't she understand from Ron giving her the perfume. Is all this just JKR being stupid because she don't want them together before the very end. Sry for all these questions but I am rly confused can you plz help Vivi?

Once again, I’ll copy one of my Quora essays!

it’s a stereotype to say that girls resort to underhanded tactics when it comes to dating, or like to “test” their partner’s love… but it’s a stereotype for a reason: there are teenage girls who resort to those tactics.

The archetype of the Tsundere exists as an exaggeration of the traits some teenage girls demonstrate when they find themselves in a position of vulnerability such as “having a crush on someone”.

For someone as prideful as Hermione is, having a crush on someone is extremely threatening.

Hermione prides herself in her logic and intelligence. The validation she receives from getting good grades is something she needs, because she’s very insecure deep down. She thinks all she has to offer is her intelligence, and as she goes from a little girl to a young woman, this causes her grief because she doesn’t want to be just “intelligent”. As her body develops and changes, she finds that being the smartest one in the room isn’t enough anymore - she still loves being the smartest in the room, but she wants more than just that, she wants validation for other things. That’s why she was extremely hurt when Ron tactlessly (and Rowling-ly) remarks “you’re a girl” - she wants to be seen as a girl, as a woman, as more than a walking brain. She wants validation that she is a girl, and beautiful, and sexy, and capable of making heads spin. She needs “sexual” validation, for lack of a better term.

Of course she doesn’t really realize those feelings. All she knows is that it hurts when Ron seems to consider her “one of the guys”, or looks at girls that aren’t her. She likes it when he compliments her, but she’s also angry at him because he only ever seems to compliment her intelligence and damn it, she wants him to compliment something else! She wants him to look at her, REALLY look at her! Look at her like he looks at the pretty girls!

Little does she know that Ron does look at her, but he probably thinks he’s a pervert for doing so. Because - because she’s Hermione! She’s not like other girls, she’s not - she’s not the kind of girl you ogle! She’s the kind of girl you gift flowers to - roses, they’re her favourite - the kind of girl you have long, meaningful talks with - not sure if they’re always meaningful, but they sure talk a lot together! - she’s the kind of girl you… the kind of girl you love, not the kind of girl you just look at…

*wistful sigh* Mutual pining, mutual admiration, slow burn, +100k words…

But truth is, many people go around saying that Hermione treating Ron harshly and treating pretty much every boy (with exceptions like Draco Malfoy) more gently is because she actually doesn’t like Ron, and likes anyone but Ron.

When the truth actually is that… Hermione is awful. No, no, seriously, when Hermione is in love, she’s terrible. She can be a nice friend but when she’s in love with you she’s horrible. Especially since she’s a teenager.

Hermione is a prime example of a Tsundere.

The cute, blushy, giggling Hermione who flirts with [insert character here] and cries delicately when she’s rejected? Pure fanfiction. Canon Hermione keeps her love aggressively hidden behind countless iron walls, only letting it peek through when she’s absolutely sure the person she likes isn’t looking.

“How was practice?” asked Hermione rather coolly half an hour later, as Harry and Ron climbed through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. “It was -” Harry began. “Completely lousy,” said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione. She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. - Order of the Phoenix

Rare footage of the Hermione Granger, scientific name Selfinsertus Overratedus, displaying interest in specimen of mighty fine hunk

Hermione isn’t sweet and tender and kind with the one she loves. At least, the teenage Hermione isn’t. She’s harsh, she’s disdainful and only gives out breadcrumbs of affection once in a while as part of the complicated mind game she’s playing.

You see, Hermione is never going to make the first move. You must be the one to ask her out, because she sure as hell ain’t going to do it for you.

This is due, I think, to the events of Goblet of Fire. Viktor Krum asks her out because Rowling absolutely wants Hermione to be the ugly duckling who transforms into the beautiful swan, so she brings in Cardboard Cutout With No Personality Aside From Being Famous to woo her self-insert.

Now Hermione has gotten the experience of being asked out, and being a rather socially awkward person who also hates being vulnerable - more on that later - well, now she just assumes that if someone asked her out once, then anyone who does like her can do the same.

Which is why she doesn’t realize that Ron is actually aware he loves her. There’s a big comedy of assumptions going on in Romione’s love story.

Hermione believes that Ron either 1) likes her but is oblivious to his own feelings and so she thinks she has to “give him hints” to make him realize it. Emphasized best by this exchange:

Hermione laughed. “Harry you’re worse than Ron [at understanding girls]… well, no, you’re not, “ she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy.

“I’ve sent him so many signals and yet he doesn’t notice. Woe is me!”

2) doesn’t actually likes her, but sees her just as a good mate or worse, as another sister.

Hermione keeps flip-flopping between her two assumptions throughout the series, all because of her biggest assumption: she thinks that if Ron was interested in her, he would ask her out. Because Viktor Krum was interested in her, and he asked her out, so why wouldn’t Ron do the same? They’re both boys and she’s a girl, after all. Isn’t that how it works?

This is also why Hermione’s “““invitation”““ to the Slug Club isn’t even an invitation - really, it’s worse than Ron’s invite to the Yule Ball, at least he was actually offering her to come:

“We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, […], “and I was going to ask you to come, but […] I won’t bother.”

“I was going to ask you to come but I won’t bother.”

This is literally what she says. It’s more of a “look Ron! An invite! If you’re good maybe I’ll think about letting you have it!” than anything else.

It’s because this is Hermione’s last resort. The ultimate humiliation. She has to resort to inviting Ron when in her mind, he’s supposed to be the one asking her out. He’s the boy! He’s supposed to do it! (And this is why I laugh at all the fools who claim that Hermione is the pinnacle of feminism. Seriously, the girl is more of a misogynist than any other character in the series.)

Hermione failed to take into account that Ron’s insecurity cripples him worse than she imagines, and that he copes with it differently than she copes with her own insecurities.

And this is the part where I explain about Hermione’s hatred of being vulnerable.

You see, I can relate quite a lot to Hermione - I see a lot of me in her, and a lot of people who hurt me in the past as well.

Bullied because she was an easy target, being the know-it-all and local teacher’s pet? Yep. Bullied for her appearance (I got braces when I was 8 and have been wearing glasses since I was a toddler, she had her bushy hair and buck teeth)? Can relate. Cried easily? Super check. Rule enforcer when the teachers weren’t around? Mega check.

And naturally, when you’re such a water fountain as I was, there’s nothing more humiliating than ending up crying in front of your bullies. You quickly learn that it will bring you nothing but more bullying. More humiliation. More vulnerability.

Hence why you start despising any form of vulnerability you find in yourself.

Obviously, being in love? That’s one of the most terrible things you can find yourself in when you’re afraid of being vulnerable. Because, oh god, your feelings are completely insane around the person. They make or ruin your day. You keep wanting to show them how cool / great / impressive you are, and you try desperately to mask all your little faults so they will hopefully return your feelings.

Given that Hermione is already not the most socially-aware battering ram in the knife drawer, she acts especially nasty to Ron, because she’s overcompensating for the vulnerability he makes her feel. And she most likely isn’t even aware of it! Forget Fanfic Hermione cringing as she realizes how mean she sounds, welcome Canon Hermione who just doubles down on a pointless argument just to drive home how totally in control she is and how Ron has absolutely zero effect on her, no siree!

In short: Hermione overthinks. She overthinks everything. She’s overthinking every of Ron’s actions, she’s assuming he’s either out to get her because she assumes he’s perfectly aware of her crush on him and he’s just toying with her (this is the very insecure, pessimistic Hermione speaking), she’s assuming he’s completely oblivious to her feelings and so she uses the ages-old technique of the “subtle hints” to make her feelings known to him (and fails miserably because she doesn’t want to put herself out there too much in case he rejects her, which would be the ultimate humiliation and the worst possible thing to happen to her, in her teenage girl mind), and she’s assuming he’ll never like her the way she likes him, all the while being woefully oblivious to the fact that Ron does want to be with her but she keeps sending him signals that she sees him as a troublesome child rather than a potential partner.

All in all, a teenage Hermione in love is utter torture. She’s her own worst enemy, and it’s only when she decides to let go of it all - of the mind games, of the distancing, of the passive-aggressive; of the overthinking - and just takes a chance that her efforts bear fruit.

There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.

(As much as I’m disillusioned with Romione, this kiss is still one of my favourite parts of the series. They mutually sweep each other off their feet for god’s sake, you wish your ship would.)

[fantastic-rambles]

Ahhh yaknow what you’re right. I just went back and looked over some of the rod, and I didn’t see Langa explicitly agree to not to skate with Adam. He promised that he wouldn’t quit skating with Reki, but he only acknowledged Reki’s warning to not be reckless. It actually makes a bunch of sense why Langa would be confused by the distancing and argument. I see now why you were upset with Reki’s behavior. It feels kind of like a ‘secret contract’ sorta thing where Reki got upset over a broken rule Langa never realized he was supposed to abide by. And not only is that unfair like you said, but it flipped the situation as if Langa was being untrustworthy to his word when really Reki didn’t trust Langa not to quit skating with him just because of danger/injury. And especially since I’ve seen people make solid arguments for Langa being neurodivergent or neurodivergent-coded, it’s really not a stretch at all for him to see the situation like you did. Langa most likely saw the issue as solely reckless behavior leading to quitting. But clearly Reki’s own jealousy/insecurities added Langa preferring better skaters as potentially leading to them not skating together without ever discussing it until Langa was blindsided during the argument. I would’ve looked a better apology from Reki where he fully explained why he was upset when they were making up. It’s human for his feelings on the issue to change, but that should’ve been better expressed to Langa. Although Langa did a great job of accurately smoothing over what was bothering Reki without that. Maybe that’ll be rectified if he apologizes to Miya. I think Miya deserves one especially since Reki physically shoved him after he opened up about why his actions were such a sore spot for him. I actually thought Miya’s words would help Reki see the other side of things so seeing Miya get pushed was like a “Bro wtf??” moment for me. Again it’s understandable that people act out when they’re angry and Reki was obviously already struggling with his emotions, but it should be acknowledged again how wrong that was. Boy are you opening my eyes to a lot of problematic stuff lol.

Also, I’m very curious as to why you hate Shadow. For me, it’s because I can’t move past that comment in ep 1. I know ppl brush it off as just an (unnecessarily misogynistic) act for his persona, but that woman literally didn’t say anything to him and he insulted her for no reason by using her body as trophy to be defaced if he won. Ew. And just because he’s super nice to the flower shop lady, he does not get a pass. If he’s only respectful to women he’s attracted to and jumps at any other the opportunity to degrade women, he’s still a misogynist. And I’m pretty sure that he already new flower shop lady when the series started, so I don’t think you can argue that his character developed to be better towards women as a whole because of her or that he wouldn’t do something like that again at this point in the story. Especially since the goal of proving yourself as a “strong man” has not historically worked out to men being compassionate with women. (Tho within a vacuum devoid of his other actions, I can appreciate his commitment to a makeup routine)

Oh! And I would totally wanna read that fanfic if you write it!! I’m not even as gung-ho about Adam going to jail as most fans and Adam-haters tbh. Mainly because it’d probably be for political corruption via money bribes which is already kinda common and I don’t think the show has stated him to be doing anything particularly bad with it I don’t think so?? Like it seems to be mainly for the purpose of keeping S secret which is indeed a waste of money and effort when he could just buy it, but on the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be any ill consequences on the citizens the politician represents. So yea, it’s illegal so the jail time is technically deserved. But also like... no harm no foul🤷‍♀️ If he would be getting charged for assaulting other skaters than I definitely think that’s fair, but I doubt that’ll happen in the show just because I feel like no one will actually say anything when the time comes partially due to the shock of his arrest if they’re even involved. And I mean, Cherry was pissed at Adam for getting skaters hurt but still rolled out the hospital and joked like he was fine, so I just don’t particularly see anyone calling him out on it to the point of it being apart of his sentencing. The end of ep 11 with Cherry and Joe arguing about one of them going against Adam just doesn’t sound like condemning him to battery charges to me XD

But yaknow I’ve been loving hurt/comfort type fics lately, so I’d be really interested in seeing Adam truly work and change himself for some type of redemption in that setting. I can see hitting rock bottom as being really good for him given it may provide a reprieve from having to manage his image. Adam is underrated in complexity so it’s always cool when people try to flesh him out more and dive into his inner world. And of course Tadashi is kind of my fave (if you couldn’t tell) so I love anything healing for him as well :)

Yep, I was majorly pissed at Reki for how he treated Langa and Miya. His behavior is absolutely problematic. Not as bad as Adam, obviously, but with everything I’ve said and you’ve realized... yeah. I’m glad he made up with Langa and will probably make up with Miya, but it doesn’t invalidate everything he’s done before. Yes, he’s still an immature teenager, but I don’t think he realizes how messed up his behavior was, even after making up with Langa (the resolution seems to be based on him accepting that he’s not an ace skater, rather than recognizing how toxic his behavior was), so I’m still not satisfied. But hey, it’s probably just me being hyperfixated on trivial details that nobody else even cares about. /shrug

(I’m glad to know that I wasn’t misinterpreting the “promise,” or lack thereof, though!)

And I have two major problems with Shadow. My first--and biggest--problem is, as you’ve pointed out, that he’s an enormous misogynist. At “S,” people have the freedom to be exactly who they are beneath the facades that they show to the world. For example, Adam is someone desperately searching for someone who can understand him, not the perfectly put-together politician Shindo Ainosuke. Cherry and Joe are more true to their “real life” selves, but there are differences in their behavior on the track and off. And then there’s Shadow, the overcompensating “strong man” who threatens to make a guy tattoo “Dumpster Slut” over his girl’s name. So I 100% agree with everything you said about Shadow. He’s a chauvinistic pig.

The second problem is that I honestly think his actions when he’s racing are worse than Adam’s, and the only reason it’s not made out as such is because he’s the buttmonkey rather than the villain. I believe that, as problematic as Adam’s antics are, he does not intend to cause severe physical harm to his opponents. I’ve discussed this idea in more detail in other posts, but in short, even in the most extreme case--Cherry’s--his injuries were far lighter than they would have been if Adam had seriously wanted to hurt him. Death, coma, etc. were all highly probable outcomes of that situation, so the only reason they didn’t happen was because Adam was holding back. Or anime logic. But even anime logic can only stretch so far. And against lesser opponents like Reki, he generally holds onto them to ensure that they don’t accidentally hurt themselves when they’re panicking.

Of course, Shadow doesn’t intend to cause severe physical harm to his opponents either, but he does not exert any control over the situation after he throws fireworks at his opponent or shines a laser in their eyes. We’ve twice seen his opponents fall off the course as a direct result of his actions: Reki in the first race, Harry in the quarterfinals. They could have just as easily fallen off the cliff or slammed into a wall (at full speed) and been badly injured. If Shadow were an actual villain, I fully believe that he would have an actual body count of people who died racing against him (as opposed to Adam’s trail of injured opponents). So it bothers me that people shrug off what Shadow does while screaming for Adam’s death.

As for the scandal subplot... I’m *pretty* sure it’s a lot more serious than Adam bribing the police to leave “S” alone. I think he’s actually involved in some majorly shady/illegal activities politically. Like, in Episode 7, when the other Diet member gets pulled over, arrested, and has his house searched... there’s no way that has anything to do with “S.” At the very least, the two of them were collaborating on something really bad, something serious that Adam lied about under oath, and that’s enough for Adam’s staff to worry about what’s going to happen, especially Tadashi. We don’t know what it is specifically, but it’s definitely a lot more than just passing out bribes to hide “S.”

Lol, I’ll have to see how it goes. Probably won’t start it until after the anime finishes at the very least so I can see how it turns out for Adam and Tadashi, plus I have another half dozen WIPs at the moment and nowhere near enough time to work on them all. xD

[glowyjellyfish]

For some reason, despite not having watched the show in roughly seven years according to when I last wrote thoughts about it, I decided last week to start listening to a podcast about Buffy the Vampire Slayer because October. The podcast turned out to be amazing, and despite being thoroughly disillusioned with Joss and worried that would change how I see the show too much, I started watching along with the podcast. Well, really I’m playing catch-up. I just started the Reptile Boy podcast episode, and I just finished The Pack in actually watching. My perception has changed, but mostly in a more mature/woke direction, I’m seeing more problematic stuff and wanting to deconstruct it, but it’s not hampering my love of the characters. I am trying to use death of the author to try to deconstruct and watsonianly explain things, but sometimes it’s better to just go “the writers fucked up” or “yup, that’s a weird and creepy Joss fetish” and let the characters off the hook and be a Doylist.

Here are the thoughts I’ve had so far, which as you can see cheerfully spanned the entire range of the show, because season one doesn’t give me personally a lot to work with.

-Xander is borderline Nice Guy in season one, and I don’t like it. I am enjoying deconstructing him and figuring him out more than I ever did before, though, despite an uneasy feeling that doylistically it started from Joss’ idea of how a average dorky teenage boy would act when surrounded by awesome girls and then reasons for it were added later. It’s really genuinely interesting that Xander’s the heart of the team and has all the feelings about everybody and wears his heart on his sleeve, crushing a lot because of that leaving him vulnerable in addition to hormones, and that growing up in an abusive and neglectful household led to insecurity and overcompensation and poor coping skills. And it’s a really fascinating idea that he despises vampires because he lost one of his best friends to them, and can’t handle the idea of any being capable of redemption or good behavior because he semi-accidentally staked Jesse while trying that concept out and if they can be redeemable then he can’t forgive himself, but of course the show didn’t want to talk about Jesse and preferred to heavily imply if not outright say that Xander’s feelings about vampires were mostly about jealousy over Buffy, which is the most Nice Guy angle they could have possibly chosen. (I... can’t say I totally mind, as Jesse’s behavior was objectively worse than s1 Xander, but still I think it would have been better to not ignore his impact on Xander.) I’m glad Xander more or less gets over his crush after season one and doesn’t wade any further into Nice Guy territory, if I recall correctly, and I’m not claiming it’s unreasonable for him to have had it in the first place, it’s just so much of his behavior regarding it is so uncomfortable, and it could have been handled loads better.

-weirdly, The Pack is the first episode of season one that I found I still thoroughly liked. I did enjoy the show deconstructing/dealing with some of the Xander problems by cranking them up to eleven, and part of it is that I am a sucker for werewolf and werewolf-like stories, and also a sucker for supernatural things happening to the Normal Harmless People in media, but I honestly think a big part of it is how little the episode uses terrible s1 special effects to play the story out. It’s all in the acting, and there was some really convincing and good acting going on.

-I discovered that the last time I watched seven years ago, I concluded that despite his general attitude, Angel genuinely likes being around fun and lighthearted people. I want to bask in that concept for a moment before I turn it around to an earlier point, and say that if Xander wasn’t constantly openly hostile to Angel, they could very well be bros, and I am bummed the show never tried. I mean, jealousy or not, Xander’s vampire issues should still be a problem. But I like the idea of Angel just silently enjoying Xander’s dumb jokes and his naivety, and logically Angel would also super appreciate Xander being adamant about killing him when he’s gone evil. In fact, even if they never became bro’s in canon, I’m going to declare it headcanon that Angel quite liked Xander as a person, and just did not take kindly to constant jabs at his nature. Although, honestly, Angel probably would be a little jealous of Xander regardless for being the most emphatically human person around, (especially considering what a disaster Angel was when he was Liam? He wouldn’t see Xander and think “what a foolish child”, he’d think “is this what I could have been if I was alive now? if I had a couple good people in my life to protect me and help me grow into a better person?”), and wouldn’t really enjoy Xander constantly reminding him that Xander is human and Angel is not. So here’s the revised headcanon: Angel likes Xander as a person, and would quietly consider him a friend if Xander wasn’t openly hostile to him. Angel does not super enjoy spending time with Xander since it means constant needling and reminders that Xander has what Angel never got, but he does appreciate that Xander never lets his guard down and by extension reminds Angel not to let his guard down, either. I will have to see if that holds up as I rewatch; I am still mired in season 1 and I haven’t gotten up to them even sharing a scene yet.

-I have been thinking a little about the escalation of Willow’s heartbrokenness over the course of the series, and… I know there’s a good topic there but it just makes me sad to think about.

-on willow: I think she’s bi and the show/joss is just bi-phobic. Watsonianly, she just never had a full education in the nuances of sexual orientation, and emphasized her gayness to reassure Tara and to embrace a label to define herself. However, while I think she’s bi, I would describe her as having more attraction to women than men, and might even argue that all her attraction to men is demisexual—Xander’s obvious, and Oz did all the pursuing and showed all the interest early on. I think Willow was excited to be desired and to achieve the milestone of not only “boyfriend” but “cool boyfriend in a band” that helped distance herself from nerdiness, and it took a little while for that to build up to attraction and love. Not super long, but long enough for her to doubt her attraction when thinking about it in hindsight.

-speaking of Oz I have so many Oz thoughts. Oz, I love you, but where did you get the idea that you need to solve all your problems yourself and not talk to anybody about it? Stoicism is cool and all but use your words, Oz. You would solve so many of your problems if you learned how to communicate! WHO TAUGHT YOU TO BEHAVE THIS WAY. I haven’t gotten up to him yet but my fandom brain’s already there, he’s my favorite and I can’t wait to try applying this perception to him in action.

-I would love to peek into the alternate universe where Oz didn’t leave. Hell, I want to know what would have happened both if everything else was basically the same but Oz was still around as a main character (say, he wanted some distance to work on control but didn’t leave town; Willow was very upset about it but perhaps not to the same degree, and still met Tara while looking for a way to train/practice magic and developed feelings for her; New Moon Rising happened similarly but Oz doesn’t leave town at the end; alternately he did leave but just for the first stretch of episodes and he stays after NMR), and also in the different scenario where because Oz isn’t leaving, Xander is picked to be The Gay One. I mean, he’d have to be bi, too, and my mind honestly boggles at the hurdles the show might have had to leap to make it plausible, but I would like to see it. What kind of boyfriend would the show have given Xander, and why am I thinking of Schitt’s Creek when I wonder what a gay romance for Xander would look like?

...but I’m reeeeally getting ahead of myself now. I did not expect to have so many of my thoughts be about a. the dudes and b. Xander, but what can you do? Soon I’ll have material to talk about, for example, how amazing Cordelia is, but for now...

(and yes, I have been pinging from one fandom to the next in order to find The Right One, and doing one or two thought-dumps before I find myself moving on to a different one without finishing the first. I do not control the hyperfixation. I might go back and forth when the newest one loses its shine, but I am really enjoying the concept of revisiting Buffy for October, and might proceed to do the same with Teen Wolf when I’m done if only for a fascinated comparison between the two and what inspired what and what was improved upon or done worse. Might. Hyperfixation, remember.)

[gr-ogu]

1) You know what I just thought of? Steve said “I may have been a bad boyfriend but it turn out I’m actually a pretty good babysitter” and at this point he knows there’s nothing left between him and Nancy because he’s felt her pulling away and she called them bullshit and refuses to say that she loved him and despite all of that he tried to make it up to her as if he was in the wrong. I mean in season 1 it might’ve been true, he was a bit of a douche and he cared more about what people thought

I’m gonna put this under a read more because it got super long (like almost 1000 words long omg) but everything about this… JUST YES! Thank you so much for sending this ask ❤️

2) about him than being with Nancy despite actually really liking her he often acted crappy to her but then at the end of season 1 he realized that he really likes her and he’s just pushed her away and what for? Because his crappy friends thought that it’d be a good idea to call her a slut? So then he lashes out at them and with no one left he realizes he doesn’t want to be that guy any more. He doesn’t want to be the cool popular guy if it means he does shit that leaves him feel big like

3) crap. So he decides to go apologize to Nancy and Jonathan and when he finds them he understands why she acting so cold to him but when he notices she’s hurt he immediately becomes protective of her and then despite them trying to get him to leave he comes back because he doesn’t want to be the kind of guy who just abandons them when they’re in danger. In season 2 he’s a great boyfriend, he’s just no the one Nancy wanted perhaps because they’d been through different things and Jonathan was

4) for her throughout all of the crap she had to deal with in the first season while Steve just showed up at the end. The part where Steve let’s her go despite still being in love with her and he tells her. “It’s okay… you should go” shows just how much Steve grew through the second season because he didn’t make her feel bad he understood that they weren’t working and he could see that Jonathan made her happy.

5) okay that’s me done soz for ranting in your inbox but tell me your thoughts it’s just amazing how much Steve has grown. I was watching season 3 and my sister saw that bit where Robin told Steve she liked girls and he just made fun of her taste in girls (keep in mind she only watched season 1 but I’m trying to get her to watch the rest) and she was shocked at how different his character reacted because seasons 1 Steve would have thought about popularity vs being her friend.

That’s the thing though!!!!!! Like he WASN’T fundamentally a bad boyfriend?? He just?? Wasn’t the right one for Nancy, in my opinion?? I looooooove Nancy, but their energies just didn’t match up at all? Like she clearly didn’t love him the way he loved her, she was clinging to a sense of normalcy that came from being with him. I actually wrote about this in a jancy fic I wrote three years ago, just after s1 had aired, a conversation between Nancy and Mike I wish we’d seen:

“Fine,” Nancy says. “I don’t want everything to change, okay? If I don’t stay with Steve, then Barb died for nothing. If it doesn’t work out, then what was it all for? How can I ever stop blaming myself for what happened to her if she died waiting for me to be done with a boy I don’t even like anymore!”

She’s breathing heavily, conscious she shouldn’t be having this conversation with her younger brother and Mike is looking at her with narrowed eyes.

“That’s stupid,” is his insensitive reply. “It wasn’t your fault the Demogorgon took Barb, and if you have the chance to be with the person you actually like, then you should, ‘cause some of us don’t!”

Steve WAS a bit of a dickhead in s1, but I just loved him because you could SEE it was such a bravado-fuelled act? I know we can only really headcanon about Steve’s home life, but it always seemed he was trying to overcompensate for how lonely he was, big act, big hair, big house… all covering up the fact he was so empty, and had no real connections with anyone, even his parents, until he met Nancy.

I think part of his attachment to her was genuine love, and the other part was his need to feel truly, genuinely loved by someone else. I think at first, he didn’t know how to deal with someone who cared about him and couldn’t quite believe she did, also whilst fighting the realisation that HE really cared for HER!!!!!! (see: when he keeps denying it to Tommy and Carol). Exactly, he tries to please them because they’re the closest thing he’s had to friends and then he’s like “Wait???? Actually???? What am I doing????? Definitely, he steps up to the mark and takes responsibility for what he did and tries to make it right!!!!!!!! Like you say, when he finally GETS why she’s been acting the way she has, he’s onside immediately.

He goes because she tells him to, but he comes BACK of his own volition and FIGHTS because he knows that’s the right thing to do. He apologises, helps clean up the sign, and only continues to try to make up for everything he’s done. But that’s the thing – I don’t think he knows how to stop that feeling. He’s constantly on the cusp of saying sorry, or trying to make up for just being himself? Because Nancy wanted Jonathan, it makes Steve feels as though he’s not enough for her, which makes everything really complicated because none of them are in the wrong for how they feel!!!!! But it still doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt for Steve. 

I’ve never been one to say Nancy cheated on Steve. For me, it was clear it was over. When she didn’t say she loved him back, I think that was the end. Even then, after that, we see Steve going to her house to apologise and try and make up for something he DIDN’T DO, for something that was completely out of his control. At the end of the day it’s neither of their faults that Nancy doesn’t, and can’t, love him the way he needs.

To me, the fact that Steve lets her go is SO mature and admirable. That’s what real love is, wanting the other person to be happy, unselfishly, and as you say, the fact that he recognised he wasn’t what she needed and told her it was okay to want something that wasn’t him, the STRENGTH it takes to do something like that. Damn.

In season three, I do feel they overdid the humour a bit with Steve at the expense of meaningful character development, but STILL, even in the few serious scenes we DID get, Joe absolutely killed it. Even in the funny scenes, he has such a depth to him that just continues to illustrate how far Steve has come. His whole friendship with Dustin and the other party members is proof of that. Even if people think he’s a ‘loser’ now, he keeps his integrity and ultimately ends up with a TRUE friend in Robin who just cares about him for being him, no strings attached. I think if he hadn’t gone through everything he did in s1 and s2, he wouldn’t have been able to appreciate a friendship like that, which also shows how far he’s grown!!!!!!!

I don’t always agree with the Duffers, and I do think a lot of Steve’s growth and characterisation are down to Joe, but you can’t deny how GOOD it is. I don’t care if people think it’s over-hyped, I’m still HYPED about it and always will be!!!!!!!! So feel free to come and rant about it any time!!!!!!  ❤️❤️❤️

[nevertickleasleepingbadger]

Re-sorting the Weasleys

Ok first installment of a re-sorting series! One of the biggest weaknesses of the HP universe is the very flat, one sided sorting. Brave=Gryffindor, Smart=Ravenclaw, Kind=Hufflepuff, Cunning (Evil??)=Slytherin I understand that for some of the plot devices to work, certain characters had to be in certain houses, but it always came off as lazy to me that all the Weasleys were in Gryffindor (for decades???). I honestly never really understood whole families going into one house in general- considering how different all these people are, did the Sorting Hat just give up and assign all gingers to the red house? ANYWAY. Here’s my defense of where I think they should go, based on the fandom’s collective interpretations of the houses. And many thanks to @flockdynamics​, for your discussion and help!

Arthur Weasley- Ravenclaw

At first, Arthur comes off as this very goofy character. Which he is, no doubt, but this man is also a genius- his whole job is spent undoing charms and hexes on muggle objects which undoubtedly involves creativity and skill. He is constantly tinkering and coming up with really inventive adjustments and improvements on objects- objects that few wizards understand the workings of at all! I saw a Weasley appreciation post awhile back that mentioned Arthur’s obsession with batteries and how he could be looking into the possibility of storing magical energy and I 100% believe this to be true. He’s not just collecting these items because they look fun, he’s studying them and trying to figure out how they work and how he can incorporate magic into muggle inventions. And he goes through the effort to write loopholes into his own laws so that what he’s doing isn’t strictly illegal which just kills me. One of the true hallmarks of Ravenclaws, beyond just plain intelligence, is cleverness and ingenuity (and a constant desire to learn and push the boundaries of understanding). Ravenclaws aren’t just interested in things you can learn from books and they encourage out-of-the-box thinking. One of the first things he does when he meets anyone connected to muggles is to immediately start asking questions and learning. Also don’t forget that he wrote (co-wrote?) the Muggle Protection Act. His demeanor is jubilant and laid back and he certainly shows great bravery at times, but his baseline behavior is to be in the background, steady and confident and pushing the boundaries in his own way. He is a great source of comfort to his family and to Harry. He always takes Harry seriously and does his best to protect him in the ways he can. In the muggle world, he would totally be that spacey college professor whose office is a mess with random artifacts and weird comics pinned up everywhere, but when you talk to them you realize they are about 10x smarter than you. Molly Weasley- Hufflepuff Ah, Molly- the badger indeed. Loving and fiercely protective. We hardly ever get to see Molly outside of the context of motherhood, but I imagine we see the worst of her temper as she attempts to raise 7 children amidst two wars. I think the Molly underneath all the stress is strong, empathetic, and comforting. We see her unkindness towards Fleur do a 180 as soon as she realizes that Fleur isn’t someone she needs to protect Bill from. She might not get points for patience, but she is certainly stubborn! Overall, Molly is deeply emotional and she keeps her emotions close to the surface. She is soft (in a good way) and warm and just unbelievably capable. The intensity of her kindness towards Harry (knitting him a sweater his first year even though she had only once briefly met him because she guessed, presumably from Ron’s letters, that he needed a family). That’s the kind of person Molly is.  Bill Weasley- Ravenclaw I struggled a bit with Bill because the age gap between Harry and Bill might skew our perception of him a bit. Bill is certainly the cool, calm, and collected older brother. The hair, the earring, the swagger- I absolutely adore Bill. Bill always comes off as a bit reserved- not shy but just someone who doesn’t say more than they have to. But this could just be his age and maturity compared to his younger siblings. His family’s obvious disdain for his fiance, Fleur, seems to roll off his back and we rarely see him raise his voice or lose his cool. He is just an incredibly competent man and wizard. Skills with curse breaking and wards really scream Ravenclaw to me- these are skills that take perseverance and creativity to master- something that might not mesh well with the brute force and brashness of a Gryffindor. He is obviously someone who can work with Goblins, which tells me he is tactful and careful and must have paid attention in History of Magic. And how could I forget, Head Boy and 12 Outstanding OWLs. Slowclap for Bill Weasley, everyone. Charlie Weasley- Hufflepuff?? Who knows because it’s a crime we have almost nothing to go on with this fabulous character. A well built, quidditch playing, dragon wrangler?? Cmon JK Rowling- we need more Charlie Weasley. His love for Care of Magical Creatures automatically makes me gravitate towards Hufflepuff (Hagrid is my next big installment post, don’t worry) and the little we see of him shows us a popular, warm, and dedicated guy. But that’s all I can really say! Percy Weasley- Slytherin I know this one is going to be controversial so let me start out by saying this is partially based on a rejection of JKR’s version of Slytherin. I’m not sure if we are just supposed to blame Harry’s unreliable POV, but Slytherin is a mess. So if we strip away some of the ugliest caricatures of the house, Slytherins are crafty, resourceful, driven, and deeply protective of tradition. Percy is seriousssss. He’s a snob, absolutely. He sees everything as an opportunity and he feels he is fighting an uphill battle to separate himself from his family, who don’t share his commitment to self-betterment. He bleeds ambition and unfortunately, because of the political climate that he grows up in, he has the perfect personality to get swept up in government corruption. He realizes his mistakes, but he is prideful and it takes him awhile to face his family and own up to them. We see him full of regret but not yet able to apologize at Christmas during HBP, and of course his arc comes full circle at the Battle of Hogwarts. Tradition and correctness are very important to Percy and he needs constant validation that he is in control. He is in a bit of an awkward age gap with his siblings and I think often ends up as the odd man out and as such, he overcompensates by trying to rise above the chaos of his family and he isolates himself in the process. Percy is also bullied relentlessly by Fred and George, and this really hardens him and pushes him further away. I think it is probably good that he wasn’t sorted into Slytherin in canon, because the divide between Percy and the other Weasleys is already wide and it would have really hurt Percy in the long run. But that being said, JKR wrote the perfect Slytherin with Percy, she just didn’t act on it. He could never have survived as the odd man out in his family in Slytherin, but in a different universe, he fits. Fred & George- Gryffindor I struggled with them because in a way, I wanted to split them up because I think they really can encompass more than one house but I think that F&G are a FORCE together and need to stay as such. I was originally leaning towards Ravenclaw for them just based on the extreme wit and creativity they possess, but as @flockdynamics pointed out to me, I think their intentions are very important. Life is a joke for these two and it’s full of color and noise. They are whip smart and very ambitious and honestly would have thrived in any house- I don’t see them letting house boundaries define them (especially if we cast aside the Gryffindor ancestry of the Weasleys). But their inventions and ingenuity don’t stem from a desire to research and push the boundaries of wizard invention. They just want to make stuff and blow shit up and have a good time. And sure, they want to build a business and make the money they never had growing up, but making people happy and bringing humor into the world are their #1 goals. They are brave in the most foolhardy, Gryffindor way (U-No-Poo anyone?) and never back down from a challenge. They act before thinking and can be bullies (their treatment of Percy, Ron, and sometimes Hermione definitely comes off this way). They often don’t stop to consider emotional tact because they really just live in their own world where everything is fun.  Ron- Gryffindor In all her missteps with the houses, I think JKR spent a lot of time making the golden trio fit into her views of Gryffindor traits. Ron is often tactless and self-centered but he is also deeply empathetic (especially towards the end as he’s maturing). I think bravery is an oversimplification of Gryffindor- I think Gryffindor to me is more about being just. They definitely exhibit overt bravery by going off on adventures or putting themselves in danger for loved ones. But moreover, Gryffindors are motivated by an unerring sense of justice and sense of how things should be- they often can’t see the nuances or slow down to consider the best course of action before diving in. Ron’s relationship with Harry is one of the best teenage boy relationships I’ve seen. Ron is there for Harry and legit willing to fight by his side time and time again. He knows when to be supportive, when to give Harry space, when to argue, when to capitulate. His misgivings with Hermione are a different story of dumb teenage hormones and misunderstandings. Ron gives 100% and puts his life on the line for his friends. He really struggles with deep feelings of inadequacy compared to his brothers and struggles to find a place for himself being in Harry’s and their shadows. This really overshadows his underlying personality and makes him act out. I can actually see adult Ron acting much more like a Hufflepuff: stalwart, dependable, and caring but also fiercely protective of those he’s close to. But his personality growing up is definitely Gryffindor. Ginny- Slytherin?? But probably Gryffindor Ginny, Ginny, Ginny. man this one is hard. One look at my blog will probably tell you she is one of my favorite characters, but she is also one that suffers from Harry’s unreliable POV. She went through unimaginable trauma at the age of 11 and was saved by none other than her girlhood crush/brother’s best friend/famous quasi family member. It’s an odd position for her to be in. She is broken and deeply embarrassed and spends time rebuilding herself away from Harry. Which is completely understandable, but it means the audience suffers from not getting to know Ginny until much later and she keeps herself at arms length with Harry until their relationship begins. I think Ginny is largely misunderstood by the fandom and the complete obliteration of her character by the movies doesn’t help. BUT, damn if Ginny is not a BAMF. Sneaky, witty, sometimes harsh and sharp but also loving and bubbly and effervescent. She is the embodiment of “bitch, I won’t hesitate”. Growing up with 6 brothers really pushes Ginny to be rough, unapologetic, and outspoken and we see that side of her often- berating Fleur, hexing/crashing into Zacharias, tripping Ron, etc. Her friendship with Luna gives us glimpses into the softer sides of Ginny. As much as fans love Luna, it always strikes me as odd that they easily dismiss the person Luna seems closest to as boring and mean. Luna seems like an excellent judge of character and not one to seek out negative people (but I digress). I think Ginny is a complex character that the books barely scratch the surface of. By the end, Ginny really exudes confidence and she bravely takes on part of the role of running the DA during the darkest year at Hogwarts. In a world away from the blood purity nonsense, I would totally put her in Slytherin. Her tenacity, perseverance, and cunning really match up well with many of the things Slytherins claim to possess and she shows us time and time again she is willing to push social boundaries to make herself heard/seen. The prejudices associated with Slytherin muddy the waters so in canon, Gryffindor is a good place for her. 

[metalgearkong]

Shazam! - Review!

4/8/19

Directed by David F. Sandberg (DC / Warner Bros.)

Seeing a trailer for this film several months ago, it looked like DC was steering abruptly into Marvel territory, overcompensating for their dark and dreary tones in favor of something extremely light-hearted. I was certain this film would fall flat on it's ass, focusing on trying to be as funny as possible, while forgetting to make a good story with good characters, simply for the sake of a course correction. Shazam himself is a superhero comparable to, and as old as, DC’s blue boy scout, but with a vastly different origins story and identity. Shazam! Turns out to be a pretty good movie, especially compared to the other DCEU films, evoking a more innocent and fun-loving era of super hero movies, but ultimately leaves some room for improvement to be a legitimately great film.

Billy Batson (Asher Angel) is a 14 year old living on the streets after running away from one foster family after another. He is searching for his biological mother, but can’t seem to find her, desperate to reunite after being separated at a carnival approximately 10 years earlier. After the Zach Snyder era of the DCEU, the series has begun to re-identify itself, beginning with Aquaman, and now the equally goofy Shazam!

One day Billy is transported to a dimension where a wizard named Shazam offers him his power, as long as Billy is truly pure of heart and strong in spirit. The wizard is the last of a council of seven, who defended the world from the Seven Deadly Sins, represented by awesome looking gargoyle statures who taunt candidates into offering their lustful and destructive powers instead. Of course, Billy is worthy, after some skepticism and sarcasm, inherits the abilities of the wizard. This part of the film is what reminded me the most of a 80′s kids adventure film, wherein the young hero goes to another world to gain unique powers and knowledge, to then fight bullies and conquer fears in the real world. But what wasn’t fleshed out enough for me was what the criteria is for the wizard choosing candidates, and if all it took was for a kid to ask for the powers of the tempting Seven Deadly Sins, did every single candidate attempt to gain the powers of the Seven Deadly Sins, only to be stopped by the wizard, and sent back to the real world? 

With that topic, herein lies the opening scene of the movie, of which I predicted immediately was the origins story of not the hero, but the villain named Thaddeus Sivana (Mark Strong). Also as a child, Thaddeus was also a candidate for the powers of Shazam. He failed like everyone else, as he almost accepted the powers of the Seven Deadly Sins instead. Because Thaddeus was rejected by the wizard, and because he has a father and brother who treat him poorly in the real world, Thaddeus spins into a lifelong obsession and career dedicated to finding a way back into the wizard’s realm. Everyone has been saying how much they like Thaddeus as a villain, but I found his motivation incredibly underwhelming and one-dimensional.

I didn’t buy thus aspect of the character’s life, nor did we ever know what Thaddeus would do if he gained the powers of Shazam or the Seven Deadly Sins. Does he want to conquer the world? When he accepts the powers of the Seven Deadly Sins, is he just a vessel for the Sins to wreak havoc? What is the goal of the Sins? How much control does Thaddeus have? What I liked about the movie was the Sins themselves; at first represented by gargoyle statues with glowing red eyes, and once absorbed by Thaddeus, gray demon-like creatures who can teleport via smoke and like to bite people’s heads off. It reminded me of Gargoyles (1994) from my childhood, and made me hope that Jordan Peele’s live action film treatment ever gets off the ground.

What is the most commendable about this film are the lead actors Zacary Levi as the superhero form of Billy when he says the word “Shazam,” and Jack Dylan Grazer as Billy’s best friend and foster brother Freddy. Levi does an amazing job acting like a child in an adult body, and not just a child, but matching Asher Angel’s mannerisms incredibly well. Its this film’s biggest success that Billy seems like one cohesive character, despite being played by two very different people simultaneously. Grazer brings his A-game as well, reminding me of his character from It (2017), and still being a hilarious, neurotic, but genuine best friend who has a good heart (in fact, why wasn’t Freddy a Shazam candidate?). Their chemistry and antics when Billy first gains his powers are the best moments of the movie. While not every joke landed, I still found their shenanigans entertaining, amusing, and relatable. 

I also love the twists on the final fight between Billy and Thaddeus. The climax is less punchy punchy, and more so 14 year old messing with the bad guy, outsmarting him in a way a street kid from Philadelphia could actually do. The foster family Billy finds in the second act of the film are also played by charming actors, and while they aren’t all truly three dimensional characters, their performances were also adorable and charming. I like that a film involving foster life and a foster family doesn’t simply paint them as horrible people (looking at you, Harry Potter, and every foster movie from the 90′s and backwards). The film does go through a predictable lull halfway through, where the good guys have a misunderstanding and temporarily “break up,” just before shit hits the fan and the protagonist has to learn the responsibility of his powers. It’s part of why I feel like this movie is a little too formulaic and familiar at times.

Shazam! is a fresh take on deconstructing the superhero genre. Not every film in the genre has to be realistic and gritty, and in fact, in a wave of such films, Shazam! feels welcome and unique. This film has its heart in the right place, and the relationship between Billy and his foster family is some of the best meat of the movie. I can’t say how impressed I was with Zachary Levi either, literally playing a man-child in the best possible sense. It makes you wonder what it would be like to be obsessed with superheros, and suddenly gaining the powers of one. But the film does suffer with its long length, and not every joke or comedic bit was funny to me. The villain also fell flat and, while having cool powers and the command of the Seven Deadly Sins, I thought Thaddeus Sivana lacked depth and originality. Shazam! is recommended for families, and fans of slightly edgier kids adventure movies that we don’t get to see often enough these days. The best DCEU film to date? Probably. But not overall completely satisfying for myself.

7.5/10

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[shifuaang]

Thoughts on Season 5 of Orphan Black

Now that I’ve had a chance to watch season 5 and reflect on it, I wanted to share my thoughts. I’m still in mourning the loss of such a brilliant show, but I am also so happy that I got to share such an amazing viewing experience with the rest of the Clone Club. 

Thoughts under the cut! Sectioned by things I loved, things I didn’t like, and overall thoughts.

Things I loved: 

The happy ending. God, I am so tired of shows that don’t allow characters to survive and thrive at the end of their on-screen arcs. Game of Thrones started this whole ‘no one is safe’ trend, and I absolutely loathe it. There needs to be some semblance of hope at the end of a series, and OB gave us that and much more without compromising the integrity of the show. All of the characters still held trauma and the weight of responsibilities, but after fighting tooth and nail for their freedom for five seasons, they deserved happiness. (Also want to praise the show for actually highlighting PTSD and trauma and not glossing over it.)

The elimination of the Castor Clones. Honestly, good riddance. The only one I feel deserved better was Ira, but at least he made a difference in the end and did what he could to help the Ledas. Mark was a traitorous, selfish bastard, and although his death scene was sad, I can’t say I was upset to see him go.

Rachel’s arc. I loved everything about this. I loved seeing her backstory and watching her be truly vulnerable for the first time. The episode that revolved around her was one of the best of the season. Her unwillingness to participate in the organization that ruined her life and seeing herself in Kira was a beautiful turn for the character. 

The exposure of DYAD. This was one of the most powerful moments in the entire series. Seeing Cosima break down into tears of relief made me cry as well. It was everything they had been working towards and the impact of this revelation was colossal. 

The sisterhood and their unwavering love for each other. Including Mrs. S. The flashbacks with Sarah giving birth alongside Helena’s scene moved me to tears. I loved that womanhood was at the center of this season and that motherhood, while not a choice for everyone (Cosmia!), was portrayed in such a realistic, flesh and blood, pain and relief, light. The joy that radiated from Sarah and Helena during that scene blew me away; Tatiana is amazing. The scene in the final episode with them gathered around the campfire was also fantastic - these women with completely different backgrounds and personalities all came together because of a shared experience and were learning to heal together.

A few other notes. Sarah’s struggle with connection. Kira finally having her own agency and making her own decisions. Felix’s art show. Alison’s episode. ALISON MOTHAFUCKIN’ HENDRIX CONFRONTING RACHEL WITH LEEKI’S HEAD. Mrs. S taking down Ferdinand. Scott and Art being a part of the family. Donnie and Alison. Tatiana speaking different languages. Helena’s memoirs. A galaxy of women. 

Things I didn’t like: 

Krystal as comic relief. I know much of her character revolves around comedy, but it felt really cheap to only put her in one episode for laughs with the creators knowing how much us fans love her. I wanted to see her really become apart of the sisterhood, even if it wasn’t in an unconventional way. I know I’m a little biased as I’m a Krystal/Scott shipper, but I would have liked to see a relationship between them instead of bringing in a random friend to be his half-assed loved interest.

The way MK died. This was extremely upsetting. The rapey vibes and having her murdered in such a callous way on screen was too much. I understand she didn’t have much time to live and that she wanted to be a decoy to help her sisters, but her demise did not have to be nearly as graphic. This is a show that is meant to uplift and empower women, and MK’s death was a complete 180 from these ideals.

Gracie dying. GRACIE DIDN’T NEED TO DIE. Once again, it felt very cheap to bring her back for two episodes only to kill her. She was a part of Helena’s family and truly loved Helena. How cool would it have been to see Gracie defy Mark to do the right thing and live? A lot of people complained about Mrs. S’s death, but I felt it was justifiable and impactful. Gracie’s death was cruel and served no purpose in the long run.

Mutant experiment dude. I don’t even remember his name because that’s how much he made an impression on me. We didn’t need another villain. As much as I love OB, I have to admit that it doesn’t do a very good job in working with what it has instead of adding a million other pieces to the puzzle that don’t fit very well. Virginia, Susan, and PT could have been tied together in a different way or mutant experiment dude could have died off-screen prior to the events of the series. Sometimes I felt like OB was trying to be too sci-fi and add elements that fit the genre, but it ended up just cheapening the experience for me. 

PT Westmoreland was too dramatic. There are a lot of great, subtle villains in OB (Rachel, Susan, Helena in the first season, even Virginia at times), but PT was a caricature. His acting felt super melodramatic in a cast of actors who are nuanced and very good at controlling expression and emotion. This was one of the problems I had with the majority of the Castor clones - Ari Millen felt like he was overcompensating to try and keep with Tatiana’s prowess, and it happened again this season with Stephen McHattie.

Cosima is more than her relationship with Delphine. I know I might get shit for this, but I’m just going to say it anyway. I was never sold on the Cophine relationship, and I think that was because much of Cosmia’s personality revolved around loving Delphine. All of the other integral clones got flashbacks into their pasts that revealed more about their personalities and motives, and Cosima just got a bonus scene with Delphine from season one. I really did enjoy the defy them speech, but I wanted more. Cosima deserved more. 

A few other notes. Not enough Alison; she’s always in the background. Alison’s wackadoodle new haircut - at least buy a better wig. Not enough Felix. They were on the island waaay too long; the first half of the season dragged because of it, and the second half was significantly better. 

Overall Thoughts

I am really happy with the way OB went out. I am a particularly critical viewer when it comes to any show, and oftentimes I will drop a show if it’s headed in a direction I don’t like or if characterization is contrived. While I haven’t loved every decision the writers have made with OB, I still enjoyed the journey from start to finish. It is truly refreshing to watch something where women are at the center and are not burdened by stereotypes or tropes. Thank you, Tatiana, for giving me so many characters to love, including ones I never dreamt I would have an affinity for. 

[vivithefolle]

I love your analysis about the Cho/Ron interaction, but I'm just curious as to how Harmionie shipping Quorans would respond to it if you post it there. Knowing them, they'd probably see it as more proof that Harmony works because "Look! Hermione doesn't care when Harry is tactless but she can't stop nagging Ron when he is tactless!" 🤣 Seriously, though. Hermione is WAY nicer to Harry than she is to Ron. Come to think of it, Hermione is nicer to most people than she is to Ron.

Aaaah, well that’s simply because Hermione is… awful.No, no, seriously, when Hermione is in love, she’s terrible. She can be a nice friend but when she’s in love with you she’s horrible. Especially since she’s a teenager.

Hermione is a prime example of a Tsundere.

The cute, blushy, giggling Hermione who flirts with [insert character here] and cries delicately when she’s rejected? Pure fanfiction. Canon Hermione keeps her love aggressively hidden behind countless iron walls, only letting it peek through when she’s absolutely sure the person she likes isn’t looking.

“How was practice?” asked Hermione rather coolly half an hour later, as Harry and Ron climbed through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room.“It was -” Harry began. “Completely lousy,” said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione. She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. - Order of the Phoenix

Rare footage of the Hermione Granger, scientific name Selfinsertus Overratedus, displaying interest in specimen of mighty fine hunk

Hermione isn’t sweet and tender and kind with the one she loves. At least, the teenage Hermione isn’t. She’s harsh, she’s disdainful and only gives out breadcrumbs of affection once in a while as part of the complicated mind game she’s playing.

You see, Hermione is never going to make the first move. You must be the one to ask her out, because she sure as hell ain’t going to do it for you.

This is due, I think, to the events of Goblet of Fire. Viktor Krum asks her out because Rowling absolutely wants Hermione to be the ugly duckling who transforms into the beautiful swan, so she brings in Cardboard Cutout With No Personality Aside From Being Famous to woo her self-insert.

Now Hermione has gotten the experience of being asked out, and being a rather socially awkward person who also hates being vulnerable - more on that later - well, now she just assumes that if someone asked her out once, then anyone who does like her can do the same.

Which is why she doesn’t realize that Ron is actually aware he loves her. There’s a big comedy of assumptions going on in Romione’s love story.

Hermione believes that Ron either 1) likes her but is oblivious to his own feelings and so she thinks she has to “give him hints” to make him realize it. Emphasized best by this exchange:

Hermione laughed.“Harry you’re worse than Ron… well, no, you’re not, “ she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy. “Look - you upset Cho when you said you were going to meet me, so she tried to make you jealous. It was her way of trying to find out how much you liked her.”“Is that what she was doing?” said Harry, as Ron dropped on to the bench opposite them and pulled every dish within reach towards him. “Well, wouldn’t it have been easier if she’d just asked me whether I liked her better than you?”“Girls don’t often ask questions like that,” said Hermione.

“I’ve sent him so many signals and yet he doesn’t notice. Woe is me!”

2) doesn’t actually likes her, but sees her just as a good mate or worse, as another sister.

Hermione keeps flip-flopping between her two assumptions throughout the series, all because of her biggest assumption: she thinks that if Ron was interested in her, he would ask her out. Because Viktor Krum was interested in her, and he asked her out, so why wouldn’t Ron do the same? They’re both boys and she’s a girl, after all. Isn’t that how it works?

This is also why Hermione’s “““invitation”““ to the Slug Club isn’t even an invitation - really, it’s worse than Ron’s invite to the Yule Ball, at least he was actually offering her to come:

“We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, […], “and I was going to ask you to come, but […] I won’t bother.”

“I was going to ask you to come but I won’t bother.”

This is literally what she said. It’s more of a “look Ron! An invite! If you’re good maybe I’ll think about letting you have it!” than anything else.

It’s because this is Hermione’s last resort. The ultimate humiliation. She has to resort to inviting Ron when in her mind, he’s supposed to be the one asking her out. He’s the boy! He’s supposed to do it!(And this is why I laugh at all the fools who claim that Hermione is the pinnacle of feminism. Seriously, the girl is more of a misogynist than any other character in the series.)

Hermione failed to take into account that Ron’s insecurity cripples him worse than she imagines, and that he copes with it differently than she copes with her own insecurities.

And this is the part where I explain about Hermione’s hatred of being vulnerable.

You see, I can relate quite a lot to Hermione - I see a lot of me in her, and a lot of people who hurt me in the past as well.

Bullied because she was an easy target, being the know-it-all and local teacher’s pet? Yep. Bullied for her appearance (I got braces when I was 8 and have been wearing glasses since I was a toddler, she had her bushy hair and buck teeth)? Can relate. Cried easily? Super check. Rule enforcer when the teachers weren’t around? Mega check.

And naturally, when you’re such a water fountain as I was, there’s nothing more humiliating than ending up crying in front of your bullies. You quickly learn that it will bring you nothing but more bullying. More humiliation. More vulnerability.

Hence why you start despising any form of vulnerability you find in yourself.

Obviously, being in love? That’s one of the most terrible things you can find yourself in when you’re afraid of being vulnerable. Because, oh god, your feelings are completely insane around the person. They make or ruin your day. You keep wanting to show them how cool / great / impressive you are, and you try desperately to mask all your little faults so they will hopefully return your feelings.

Given that Hermione is already not the most socially-aware battering ram in the knife drawer, she acts especially nasty to Ron, because she’s overcompensating for the vulnerability he makes her feel. And she most likely isn’t even aware of it! Forget Fanfic Hermione cringing as she realizes how mean she sounds, welcome Canon Hermione who just doubles down on a pointless argument just to drive home how totally in control she is and how Ron has absolutely zero effect on her, no siree!

In short: Hermione overthinks. She overthinks everything. She’s overthinking every of Ron’s actions, she’s assuming he’s either out to get her because she assumes he’s perfectly aware of her crush on him and he’s just toying with her (this is the very insecure, pessimistic Hermione speaking), she’s assuming he’s completely oblivious to her feelings and so she uses the ages-old technique of the “subtle hints” to make her feelings known to him (and fails miserably because she doesn’t want to put herself out there too much in case he rejects her, which would be the ultimate humiliation and the worst possible thing to happen to her, in her teenage girl mind), and she’s assuming he’ll never like her the way she likes him, all the while being woefully oblivious to the fact that Ron does want to be with her but she keeps sending him signals that she sees him as a troublesome child rather than a potential partner.

All in all, a teenage Hermione in love is utter torture. She’s her own worst enemy, and it’s only when she decides to let go of it all - of the mind games, of the distancing, of the passive-aggressive; of the overthinking - and just takes a chance that her efforts bear fruit.

There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.

(As much as I’m disillusioned with Romione, this kiss is still one of my favourite parts of the series. They mutually sweep each other off their feet for god’s sake, you wish your ship would.)