#I love and appreciate her for also giving me a place to stay whenever things get bad for me and I am forever grateful for her
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celestrials · 2 years ago
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I just think that it’s so fun and amazing that one of the ppl I’m still friends with hangs out with the ppl who were directly involved in some really bad stuff with me and probably didn’t ever confront them about it or ask them why the heck they ever allowed something like that to happen for so long and also how they could hurt so many ppl and not feel sorry about any of it. Idk it’s just sort of wild to see insta stories of them just hanging out so casually like nothing happened and I absolutely know for sure she never confronted them about it bc that’s just how all of them are and how they have always been. Im just coming to the realization that I’ve never had like a solid friend group where I can grow with ppl and like trust to do the right thing and like idk are not just about partying and going out all the time I guess? Idk it’s just all really fun and really strange
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hockeyboistrash · 12 days ago
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not a couples costume | n.h
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summary: a mistaken couples costume turns into something more
a/n: so I may have gotten a bit carried away with this 🫣 I didn't mean for it to get this far. sorry it's late coming out I've had technical difficulties and work. can we also appreciate how hot nico looks in this gif
“Oh, we’re not a couple.” You said for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. It was truly a coincidence that you and Nico came to this bar dressed up for Halloween in a couples costume. You didn’t even know he would be here tonight let alone wear something that paired well with your costume. The two of you worked in the Devil’s organisation and have only spoken in passing. Whenever you did though, any train of thought would be gone. You wouldn’t be able to focus on your work for the rest of the day, his smile imprinted in your head. God you love his smile. Nico was the same. He always hoped to see you when he was walking into the arena, feeling a little deflated when he didn’t. 
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” You playfully glared at him. To be honest, you could’ve walked away from him by now and gone back to your friends, you probably should’ve, but you didn’t. You let your eyes roam his body from head to toe, from the tight shirt that hugged his muscles in the right places to his hand holding the neck of his beer bottle firmly as he took a swig of his drink. You were unabashedly checking him out. Nico wasn’t complaining though because he was doing the same thing. He loved the way your ass curved perfectly in your costume. 
“I don’t know what you’re on about.” Nico shrugged, smirking as he took a sip of his drink. 
“No one is going to want to hook up with me tonight if the entire bar thinks we’re a couple.” You pointed out. Nico’s grip tightened and his smirk fell. He hated thinking about a pair of hands roaming your body that weren’t his.
“Is that such a bad thing?” He asked. You hadn't realised how close the two of you were sitting until you felt his warm breath against your ear. “I did save you from some sleazy guy earlier.” How could you forget? That’s how you ended up in this position in the first place. Some guy wouldn’t take no for an answer and Nico swooped in, saving you from the interaction. You still remembered how his fingers felt against the bare skin of your hip, the cold making you shiver slightly. You didn’t mind though. In fact you wish it was still there.
You were brought out of this bubble you and Nico were in by a waitress sliding a jug of some colourful cocktail onto your table. “Oh we didn’t order this.” You told her and she just smiled at you.
“It’s the prize for winning the best couple’s costume.” Was all she said before walking away, picking up empty glasses from tables.
“I should really get going.” You groaned, thinking about how bad of a combination the cocktail jug is with work tomorrow.
“We can’t let this go to waste.” Nico said, pushing the drink between you, a straw facing you both. “Besides, are you going to tell coach that you left me to drink this all by myself and that's why I'm severely hungover.” 
Nico pouted slightly, his warm chocolate brown eyes giving you puppy dog eyes. He didn’t want tonight to end. Not yet anyway, afraid that this will be the last time you speak. You weren’t particularly close before tonight. “Fine.” You agreed, feigning annoyance. You weren’t annoyed that much. Sure you wanted to go home so you didn’t feel rough the next day at work but Nico wanting you to stay with him made your stomach do flips. “But this is the last drink.” You said and his pout quickly turned into a grin. It was infectious making your lips twist into a grin.
Nico’s tongue caught the stray straw, having a sip of the colourful concoction in front of you, the image giving you impure thoughts making you clench your thighs. You wondered what else his tongue could do. 
The conversation flowed between you as the jug slowly emptied. Nico talked about his summer in Switzerland, coming second in the world championships. You listened intently as  he spoke about things he loves, his lips tugged into a smile the whole time. You could sit here all night and just listen to him talk. It felt like you were making up for lost time from all those missed conversations you had before tonight. 
“Come on.” Nico said, holding his hand out for you once he stood up. You gave him a questioning look as you put your hand into his, wondering where he was taking you. It wasn’t until you stopped at the dancefloor that it clicked in your head making you giggle.
“If you wanted to dance you could’ve just asked.” You shouted into his ear, the halloween playlist filling the bar making it difficult to be heard. 
“Didn’t know if you would have said yes.” Nico admitted, blush creeping onto his cheeks not that you could tell in the dim light. 
The two of you danced, getting lost in the music. Your bodies were pressed against each other, your ass flush against Nico’s crotch, his hands gripping your hips not wanting to lose you in the crowd or to keep you against him. You welcomed it though. It felt like it was just the two of you in here. Nico pressed soft kisses along your collarbone up to your neck and along your jaw before reaching your lips. You turned around, your hands moving to caress the stubble on his jaw as you deepened the kiss. You could feel Nico’s grip loosen, his fingers lightly sliding down to the curve of your ass. It was then that the fog lifted bringing you back to the reality that you were currently in the middle of the bar making out with Nico. Nico who you work with. 
You moved your head to the side, breaking out of the spell that was cast on you. “We can’t do this.” You sighed, gently pushing Nico away making him frown slightly. “We work together.”
“Technically we work for the same organisation, not together. Besides, no one has to find out. This could be our little secret.” He said, his fingers gently tilting your chin so you were looking back at him. “If you can honestly say you don’t want this we can stop now but I think you want this as much as me.”
You bit your lip, looking at him through your eyelashes. You wish you could say that but you couldn’t because you did want this. You wanted Nico’s big hands caressing your thighs as his lips found your sweet spot. “I want this.” You told him. “I want you.”
That was enough for Nico to grab your hand and drag you out of the bar into the cold New Jersey night. The worries from earlier slipping to the back of your mind as you climbed into the Uber, Nico’s hand resting dangerously high on your thigh.
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missmimii · 5 months ago
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𖤐 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 - 𝐌 ~ 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎
୨ৎ - 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - In which Matt convinces his girlfriend to film a video in a haunted house, the fearful events taking a turn for the better once he gives her the perfect distraction to keep her fright at bay.
✰-
୨ৎ — 𝐂𝐖. 18+, dom!matt, fem!reader, smut, f!oral receiving (Matt the munch forever), language, public(kinda?) dirty talk, light, light degradation, pet names, teasing, light fluff
𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈!
♡︎- 𝒩ℴ𝓉ℯ * This is probably the first time I’ve written detailed smut, so let me know how I did/how I can improve! Ily guys so much, and I appreciate the recent support. It’s surreal ❤︎︎
୨ৎ - 𝐰𝐜 - 𝟕.𝟒𝐤
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Starting on the current day going forward, Y/n made a promise to herself to never agree to be in a video with Matt ever again. Granted- she should’ve known he was up to no good when he offered his affection as a payment, but it was Matt.
The same Matt whose bribe seemed oddly similar to the many occasions he’d want to cling onto the girls side, press his face in the crook of her neck as he whispered all of the sinful things he thought of the beautiful girl. So when he said he’d fuck her till she saw stars, purely just for her appearance in a video, she thought nothing of it.
Because he loved his girlfriend.
Y/n was used to being in the triplets content regularly, which was given, seeing as she was the triplet’s girlfriend. Other than the odd occasions where she’d take a beat to focus on her own life as well as her personal career.
Said videos usually consisted of the four doing small activities that they knew the girl enjoyed. Q&A’s, because as much as she denied the accusations (she was fond of saying silly little facts about herself). Or something as simple as vlogging themselves shopping at thrift stores, a side hobby of the girls, that may have been a slight problem.
Just something to show off his gratitude and love for his girlfriend, showed the people watching that the angel was in fact, a very important piece in the scrambled puzzle of his life.
And though he loved his brothers, he couldn’t deny that one of the main reasons her got up every day, and stayed consistent with filming content, was because of the girl. He wanted to make her proud of his work, his job being the third on his lists of his best accomplishments.
𝟏-Nick & Chris
𝟐-Y/n (and how he managed to bag such a perfect, beautiful girl)
𝟑-His career
But because their content was usual tame and collected, random vlogs, that always consisted of activities that never were considered strange, Y/n immediately agreed to make an appearance in there latest video. Matt, on the other hand, inwardly cringed to himself at her lack of hesitation.
Was he lying to her? Not exactly. But was he avoiding telling her the full truth? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Small tea lights surrounded the group, as well as the blue rope that was laid out on the unstable floorboards beneath. Y/n felt her heart skip a beat whenever she heard a creak, forgetting that it was the century old flooring.
I can’t believe he talked me into this.
Because the girl was away for work for days on end, weeks- even, she didn’t hear everything about what happened back in LA in her absence. Of course they’d FaceTime as much as possible, but he as always to damn distracted, watching her.
Matt would watch her plump lips speak at a perfect pace through the camera, biting on the edge of his thumb as he wondered how amazing they’d feel against his own lips. She’s so fucking beautiful. Miss’ her so much. I wonder how it’d feel to be inside her right in this very moment.
And in result of his overwhelming thoughts of her, the reoccurring subject during these late night calls would also be her. Matt always missed her. Missed her touch, her voice, her perfect nails that would lightly scratch against his back as she lulled him to sleep at night, his head gently placed between her plush breasts.
Apparently (according to the man himself) Matt found himself missing the girl so much, that as he babbled on and on about how much he needed her, wanted her, and could practically feeling his cock being squeezed by the walls of her pussy, he might’ve forgot to mention that Nick had set up a collab with the two ghost hunters.
Y/n stared down at the illuminated rope that was weaved around the large group, flashes of blue and red intermittently sparking along the rope. An EMF cord. She was quite literally, being surrounded by hundreds of entities.
Lord please help me.
The girl flinched a bit as she felt a hand being pressed on the small of her back, immediately thinking ghost. “Woah.” Matt chuckled, looking down at the distressed girl as she blew out a soft gasp. “You alright?” The triplet tilted his head, running his hand comfortingly down her back.
Y/n’s shoulders fell with relief, silently shaking her head while simultaneously reaching out for his hand. Matt’s eyebrows drew together with worry, but didn’t hesitate before taking in her smaller, trembling one into his large hand. “Say the word and the video is scrapped.” She immediately shook her head.
“No- you’ve been looking forward for this for a while now.” Matt felt his stomach swoop with guilt, watching his beautiful girl run a distressed hand through the tendrils of her hair. “And Nick.” He rose a brow at the mention of triplet. “He hasn’t shut up about the stupid- ETES test, for weeks.” She stressed out.
Matt softly chuckled, sliding the hand that rest on her back to gently grip her waist. “I don’t care what Nick wants. The kids spoiled.” Y/n rolled her eyes at the childish remark, but felt her lips tip upward at the corners. “I care that you’re okay, baby.” His other hand cupped her cheek, soothingly running the pad of his thumb over the scar nearing the corner of her eye.
Matt watched in adoration as the girls eyelashes fluttered against her pink cheeks, batting them unintentionally as she peered up at him with that expression he could never get enough of. “I’ll be okay. I’m just being a big baby.” Y/n grumbled the last part in a soft voice, not even wanting the words to leave her mouth.
His lips fell into a smirk as he hummed, the thumb that rest against her cheek sliding down the dewy skin of her jaw and seductively smoothing over the plumpness of her bottom lip. “That’s because you are one.” Y/n’s frown deepened, as well as a redness illuminating against her cheeks.
Matt grunted at the sight, watching a stain of pink smudge against his thumb while it slid from her lips. “Cut it out.” He murmured, running his tongue along his bottom lip as he leered down at the girl with a dark expression. Y/n lifted an eyebrow, maybe with a slight attitude. “The pout.” Matt added.
Oh. The girl couldn’t help herself, a grin beaming across her pink lips as she cocked her head up at him. “And why’s that?” Y/n inquired, the false innocence apparent to the triplet, being fully aware of her games.
Matt felt his tongue twinge the inside of his cheek as he looked down at the nymph, feeling himself aching below through carpenter jeans he wore regularly. “Why?” He repeated, giving the girl a final chance to correct whatever little attitude she was about to cop.
Y/n hummed, zero hesitation as she placed a hand on his chest and drug the sharp ends of her nails along the thin fabric of his graphic tee. “Mhm..” His breath got caught in his throat as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, before forcing them into a small pout. “Is it because you don’t like to see me sad?” Fuck it.
The girl immediately yelped as she was being tugged forward, the hand of his that once rested gently against her waist, now used as leverage to bring her closer. “Sad, huh?” Chills went up at her arms, Matt’s breath feathering against the shell of her ear as he brought her into the warmth of his body. “If you keep up that little look, you’ll see just how fuckin’ hard you being ‘sad’ gets me.” He gritted against her ear.
All the girl could do was stand there, mouth gaping as she took in his words. Swallowing the lump she felt in her throat, she flicked her gaze away. “Looking forward to it.” She mumbled, rolling her eyes.
The remark wasn’t intended for his ears, fully. A sick part in the girl wanted him to hear the snarky tone, but the other, sane half, knew it was possibly the worst time to rile the man up. And if there was one thing that Y/n knew for sure, it was that Matt wouldn’t respond positively.
And he didn’t.
She got exactly one step away from him before she felt a hand gripping her wrist, chills going up her arms at the contact. “Repeat that.” Y/n felt the racing of the triplets heart as he tugged her closer, the girls back brushing against his chest.
The girl opened and closed her mouth, scrambling for a reply, or rather a lie. “I-” She practically whined as he hummed against her neck, knowing that it was a warning. “You didn’t let me finish my sentence!” The girl rushed out, spinning around to face the boy.
He lifted a brow, urging her to continue as she fiddled with the hem of his T-shirt. “I said.. looking’ forward to doing the ETES test.” She rushed out, sending him a sheepish smile.
Matt looked at her for a solid seven seconds, before his lips broke out into a smile. He just couldn’t help it. She looked as angelic as always, the flyaway hairs framing her adorable expressionisms perfectly. Matt found himself amused by her bratty approach, and though his hand did itch to slap that beautiful ass of hers, he knew to tread lightly when she was sensitive in situations like now.
“Mhm.” He shook his head a bit, rolling his eyes as he forced the smile from his lips. “Careful, kid.” Y/n, being unable to help herself, reached up and pinched his one cheek with a soft giggle. “Saw that. You aren’t slick, buddy.” The girl teased on, still giggling at his past reaction to her brattiness.
Men were too easy.
“Stop flirting with each other and get the fuck over here, you two!”
Y/n’s shoulders dropped, the momentary distraction Matt had offered her now long vanished at the sound of the youngest triplets shout. A searing light blared into the couples eye as they turned back to the group. “Jesus, Chris.” Matt hissed, using his one hand to cover his own eyes, the reaching out to guard the girls. “Put the fucking flashlight down, dummy.”
Chris being Chris, pointed at his brother and laughed, simultaneously waving the light in front of his face. “Chris,” Another voice chimed in, the black light being snatched from his hand. Nick glared as he stood aside the younger triplet, using the handle end of the flashlight to poke his side. “Stop be a fucking child.” He hissed.
Chris yelped, jumping away from the contact. “Ouchh.” All three of them, Y/n Matt and Nick, watched as the childish male hunched over while holding his side. “I’m actually burning all of your shit, Nick.” He continued to overexaggerate his pain, before abruptly reaching out to slap the eldest twin.
Matt rolled his eyes, already seeing the fight that was to break out before it even began. Wrapping two arms around her from behind, he tugged Y/n back into his chest while taking a step back from the two. Y/n stumbled backward, lips parting as she fell into the warmth of his chest with a small umph.
Her arms were comfortingly trapped beneath the boy’s tattooed ones as he leaned his head down to her ear. “You staying’ at my house tonight?” He mumbled against her jaw, the bridge of his nose brushing along her cheek as he placed a soft peck just below her ear.
She giggled at the contact, shifting a bit in his hold. “I don’t think I could even fathom sleeping alone after this.” He hummed, placing another light kiss on the area.
“After what? This, or the ghosts?” Chills went up her arms as he whispered the words against her face, the warmth of his breath grazing the curve of her jaw sensually. “Would you be shifting in bed, chills like this,” He ran his thumb along her arm, making a whimper emit from her lips. “-all up every inch of your body, because of how much you needed me? Or will it be the nightmares?” He murmured.
Y/n was basically panting as he finally ended his sentence, a bead of sweat slowly sliding down the span of her back, just between her trapezius. “… maybe a little bit of both.” She whispered softly, the words hitting Matthew’s ears like a velvety melody.
As if there were a record player in the man’s head, the vinyl that was Y/n’s voice played on repeat in his mind, resulting in the desperate aching sensation he felt growing in his jeans. “Fuck.” Matt cursed himself, momentarily looking heavenward.
“Who’s ready for the test?”
All heads turn at the sound of a voice that may have been a touch too enthusiastic for the current events. The two friends, Sam and Colby standing side by side, both grinning ear to ear. Y/n shook her head incredulously. Who was I to judge their weird little hobbies.
Nicks hand flew up, making the girl giggle softly. “I’m so fucking ready.” Chris nodded in agreement, both boys having already decided they’d go first for the test. Matt was hesitant at the beginning, not because he was scared, but because he didn’t want to say anything that may have freaked the girl out.
His upmost priority was keeping her calm, and so far his attempts hadn’t failed. “What about you two?” Colby pointed his index fringe in between the couple, lifting a brow. Matt slowly looked down, seeing the girls face absolutely terrified.
She was quite literally froze with fear, gaping at the dark haired male with wide eyes. “Like-now?” Y/n stumbled with her words, hands wringing together anxiously.
Colby nodded nonchalantly. “After these two, yeah.” He mumbled, fumbling with the camera before flicking his gaze back to the girl. “Only if you feel comfortable with it.” The male added quickly, noticing the slight warning look Matt was throwing his way.
The girl averted her gaze downward, her breathing having picked up rapidly in pace. She couldn’t- she wouldn’t. Matt suddenly adjusted the gentle hold he had on her, nudging around so she faced him. “Hey,” She shook her head. “Look at me.” Matt reached out, tipping her chin upward.
Y/n blinked up at the blue eyed boy, fighting back the tears of frustration as she gazed up at him. “I really don’t want to.” He immediately nodded, using his thumb to effortlessly brush away the one lone tear that had fallen. “And you don’t have to, yeah?” She sniffed a bit, shutting her eyes for a brief pause.
She was that friend.
She felt like one of those kids who dipped their feet in the pool instead of swimming because they couldn’t. “… I’ll do it if you do it with me.” She blurted out, her hands balling into fists.
Matt’s eyes widened at his girlfriend’s sudden change in attitude. “You want to do it?” She nodded, making the triplets face churn with even more confusion. “You- you want to do the ETES test? Talk to ghosts-” The more he went on, the more frightened she became, but he couldn’t help it.
What the fuck had gotten into his girlfriend?
Y/n groaned and softly shoved his chest. “Stop talking about it!” She whispered hissed, making him immediately halt his ranting. Matt blew out a breath, scratching the back of his head as he looked down at the girl. “Okay.” He nodded.
Her eyebrows flew up. “Just ‘okay’? Not, ‘okay I’ll do it with you’ or oka-” She was cut off from her rambling as set of lips were placed against hers, immediately resulting in her emitting a soft. She felt her entire body drop as the weight fell from her shoulders, Matt’s perfectly soft lips moulding against hers passionately.
The triplet let his eyes lull shut as he pressed himself closer into the girls body, both hands cupping her flushed cheeks as he smiled into the kiss. “Yes,” The boy muttered into between kisses. “I’ll do it with you, baby.” He chuckled, placing soft pecks around her mouth and jaw.
The girls nose scrunched at the ticklish sensation, giggling as she pushed her hands against the triplet’s chests. “Matt!” She exclaimed in an undertone, still laughing as she attempted to shove him away. “Cut it out.” The male shook his head, lightly nipping at her cheek.
“Can’t help it.” His speech came out slurred with his lips pressed against the soft skin of her cheek. “You look so fucking good with in this jacket- and that fuckin’ top.” Matt practically whined against her jaw, thumbing over the opening of her cropped shirt.
Maybe ghosts weren’t too scary …
✰-
“Holy fuck, man.”
Chris practically trampled through the closest door, slamming the door on Nicks face as he tore the merlot fabric from his eyes. “Those ghosts almost talk more than Nick.” He snickered, wincing as Nick pinched his side. “Kidding.” He grumbled.
Y/n watched as the door creaked open, the dusty sofa sitting inside awaiting the couple. I can’t believe I was doing this. Matt held both pieces of red fabric, feeling himself even slightly uneasy as he looked in the meekly lit room.
Dread. The girl was dreading the second her bottom landed on the leather sofa, and she was just about prepared to do anything to prolong it. Y/n felt her palms dampen with sweat, her hand twitching at the urge to reach out and grip Matt’s sleeve.
He’s right beside me- I’ll be fine.
The triplet beat her to it though, seeing her overwhelmed state as she shrunk into her own body, prompting him to reach out and grab her trembling hand. Her head snapped in his direction, finding the males eyes already on hers. “Good?” He asked, raising a brow.
Butterflies pressed against her stomach as her dilated pupils gazed into his blue eyes, feeling the world around her spin at the look that illuminated from his eyes. How could one look hold so much … love?
She blinked twice, shaking herself from whatever trance she was in. “Yes- yeah.” The girl uttered, looking down at their intertwined hands as she fiddled with the ring woven around his index finger. “Are you?” She murmured.
The corners of Matt’s mouth turned up at the inquiry. “Yeah.. m’fine doll.” Seeing her meek nod, he softly chuckled. “Are you sure?”
Y/n nipped at her bottom lip, flicking her eyes back up to the triplet’s. “Mhm.” At her nod, Matt offered one of his own.
It was on the tip of her tongue, she just had to say the word and he’d happily lift the girl into his arms, and walk out of the dump of house. The content mine as well have been nothing to him if his girl wasn’t okay the entire time.
“Here,” The male mumbled, the girl freezing with confusion. “Turn around for me sweetheart.” Her lips formed an ‘O’, and she turned her back to him. Matt carefully brushed away the few strands of hair that framed her face, making sure that none of them got caught as he gently tied the red fabric over her eyes.
Y/n sucked in a breath, her vision going black as she dug her nails into the flesh of her palms. “Atta’ girl.” She heard him murmur by her ear, before her nose crinkled as he pressed a harsh kiss on the side of her head.
“Matt.” She hushed, chuckling as she dodged his wandering touch. The tips of his fingers thumbed against the fabric, double checking that she in fact, could not see.
Something sinister ignited in the triplet as soon as her ability of seeing was enabled, a smirk cursing his lips. Touch would be so … sensational. She’d never know where his hand would glide off to next. Feeling her breath get caught in her throat, Y/n froze as she felt Matt brush his hand against bare skin of her abdomen. “Matt?” She whispered softly.
The girl was met with silence, resulting in a wave of confusion rolling over her body. Along with a spark set off in her core as she felt that same hand began to toy with the button of her jean shorts. A breath was sucked in as headphones were placed atop her head, the muffled sound of her own heart becoming the only thing she could hear.
Boom boom boom
The muffled sound of people talking was drowned out as the girls heart beat through her ears, Matthew’s feathering touch grazing her lower stomach. The boy bit down on his bottom lip as he watched his own fingers just barley pop the button her shorts open, the heat igniting within his body killing him.
God I need her.
Anger consumed his mood as he managed to pry his touch from the girls soft skin, knowing that the group was waiting for him to get on with the damn test. Jaw clenching as he snuggly knotted the fabric over his eyes, now unable to see the unworldly woman right in front of him.
“You guys all set?” Sam exclaimed, his voice coming off far too enthusiastic. Matt nodded stiffly, as did the girl.
Matt guided his hand lower, gently wrapping his larger one around the girls. “Feel for the door, hm?” He breathed against her ear, keeping his body close to hers as they walk forward. Y/n sucked in a breath, feeling the obvious hardness that pressed into her backside. “Kay’.” She murmured.
The triplet felt his lips tip up, rubbing the pad of this thumb against her wrist as they continued to move close to the door. Both of their steps came to a halt as Y/n’s hand brushed the corner of the door, using her hand to shove it open so they could enter. “Good luck you two!” Colby yelled, chuckling as he said something to the camera afterwards.
Good luck indeed.
A cold chill ran up the girls back, blowing out a breath as kept the urge to wrap her arms around herself. “It’s so cold.” She mumbled, her own voice muffled to the triplets ears. The room was pitch black other than the few tea candles, not that either parties would know due to the bonding around their eyes.
Unexpectedly, the feeling of dread that she assumed would stem from hearing ghosts, wasn’t what had her shaking. It was the overwhelming presence of her boyfriend, she could practically feel him breathing down her neck from several steps away.
But how could he help it? Matt leaned back against the wall, heart pattering painfully as he reached down to palm the raging erection that was now prominent through his pants. Fuck- how was I supposed to focus on ghosts when I was this fucked up? His head tipped against the hard brick wall, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he resisted the urge to fist his cock.
The room was freezing, sending the hairs on his arms straight up as he fought his inner turmoil. Fuck it. Within seconds he was ripping the headset from his head, the thin fabric covering his eyes flowing to the floor immediately after.
Y/n stood in the same place as before, nipping at the skin around her thumb as she awaited .. anything. A whisper, a random breeze, words, anything that indicated something paranormal. Minutes after minutes went by, before she sucked in an abrupt breath.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she felt a gust of air graze from behind her, before vanishing within mere seconds. It was as if a spider had crawled past her, the fight or flight instincts fully in activation. That was before a low voice was spoken through the speaker of the headphones, making her flinch.
Behind you.
Y/n froze in fear, shaking violently as she fought back tears. “Matt?” Her voice came out wobbly, cracking nearing the end of her sentence. Even if he had replied, she wouldn’t have been able to hear due to the headphones.
Matt watched as the girl froze, lips curving into a smirk as he stalked forward. His poor baby, he cooed to himself, finally using his one hand to girl the side of her waist from behind. “Shh..” He quieted the timid girl as she lurched forward, obviously not expecting the touch.
Y/n felt her shoulders tense, her blood running cold as a hand squeezed her waist. It was Matt- it had to be. The sane part of her knew it was him, but the other told her it was an entity. This fear only multiplied by ten as another hand reached out from behind her, slim fingers dragging across her trachea.
Matt bit down on his lip as he felt the girls body shake against his, his fingers fiddling with the locket around her neck. He couldn’t help but reminisce the memories of the night he’d gifted to her, the events feeling oddly recent. It was their two year anniversary, and also the week before her birthday.
He wanted the girl to feel special, for her to know that she was everything he could ever dream for. It was a small butterfly locket that embroidered her birthstone right in the middle, the jewel glimmering against her untainted skin during any given moment of the day.
He quickly came to realize his love the necklace that same night. As the girl straddled his lap in the seat of his car, the small charm dangling down against his neck as she tightened herself around his cock, riding him like her life depended on it.
She practically went limp in his lap, her chest falling against his as she breathlessly moaned next to his ear. He locked away the lewd sounds in the back of his brain, seeing as it was odd that she was overly expressive in bed. He always knew she felt good as her hands gripped the sheets, or went he felt his dick being practically suffocated by the walls of her pussy as she clamped around him.
Matt let the thoughts cloud his mind, the desperation of needing her becoming overwhelming. “Fuck.” He whispered to himself, the hand that brushed against her neck flattening against the surface, entrapping the sides of her neck in his strong hand.
Almost immediately after, a whimper came from the girls lips. “Matt?” Yes. He wanted to say it so fucking bad. Hold the girl to his chest as he assured her it was him who had gotten ahold of her. But something.. portentous came over him.
The triplet felt the girls pulse thrum in his hold, a sadistic feeling setting in his heart. Something told him to slam her against the side of the wall, to fill her up so good with his cock, proving that he was the only person capable of making her feel so good, her eyes rolling back into her skull as she realized it was him.
He blew out a breath, shakily removing the headphones from atop her head, tossing them off to the couch. “Baby..” Y/n’s shoulders fell with relief, breathing out a deep sigh as she recognized the voice to be her boyfriends. Though, at the exact moment of relief, her stomach tightened at the tone of voice she knew all too well.
The same husky octave his voice dropped to whenever he got himself worked up, slowly drifting off into a whiny one as he begged to be inside her. “Stop fucking with me, Matt.” The girl finally managed to hiss out, shifting in his hold.
He groaned as her ass dug into the tent in his jeans, still fighting against his hold. “Cut it out.” He snapped, squeezing the outside of her neck lightly, the gesture a clear warning. Y/n rolled her eyes, anger consuming her.
“You scared the hell out of me.” Matt chuckled a bit, hearing the whine in her voice as she spoke. “You know I’m not good with all of this, be gentle.” She murmured.
His heart swooped a bit as he hummed, placing a peck on the back of her head. “Gentle, hm?” The girl bobbed her head, still experiencing the aftershocks of the momentary fear she’d experienced. “I’ll be so fuckin’ gentle with you, doll.” He whispered against the shell of her ears, making her shiver.
Her hand instinctively reached around to unbind the tie around her eyes, the motion being halted as a larger one caught her hand. “Leave it.” Matt muttered, the girl slowly lowering her hand to her side as she hearted the warning in his tone.
What the fuck had gotten into him?
The hand that was on her waist slowly trailed down her side, sensually grazing her hip dip before his fingers began to toy with her shorts button. “These are adorable, baby.” Matt murmured as he looked down at his own movements, feeling lost in his own thoughts.
He’d been thinking it all night. The girl looked too fuckable. Even if it wasn’t purposeful, her every move had the triplet leaning on a wall as he begged his body to not react the ways it begged for. Sam had even stopped him at one point during the night, placing a hand in his shoulders as he gave his friend a look of concern.
“You alright man?” He’d inquiry.
Matt could only offer a dry nod as he leaned off of the wall, the muscles in his jaw clenching as he did his best to adjust his raging hard on without the rest of the group noticing.
Y/n’s breath hitched as the ends of two of the males fingers slowly dipped down the hem of her shorts, the material scraping against her thighs that were painfully clamped together, her body now reaching to much more sensitively with his touch. “Matt,” The girl whispered. “Your brothers are literally right outside.” She hissed.
He hummed, chuckling as he heard the girl whimper when she felt his fingers scrape along the lace of her undergarment. “Guess you’ll have to be quiet then, huh?” Much to her dismay, Matt’s hand withdrew itself from her small shorts.
A sense of relief filled her simultaneously, knowing that she wouldn’t have to force herself to stay silent if he really had decided to go further, but with that came the frustration end. Matt had been fucking with her all night, nothing short of grabbing her ass whenever she bent over to arranged the EMF cord, or whispering sinful things into her ear.
Shocked, a yelp escaped her mouth as she was suddenly being lifted from her feet, two hands snuggly wrapped around her lower waist from behind. “What-” She cut herself off, jaw going ajar as Matt spun her around, the two hands slipping down and cupping the undersides of her thighs. “What’re doing?!” She whispered.
The look of absolute horror on her face made Matt’s eyes twinkle with love, being completely immersed in her every expression. “Giving the ghosts a show.” He whispered, a smile creeping on his lips as he watched her pupils dilate.
She felt her back press against the cold stone wall, her oversized leather jacket scraping against the rock as he adjusted her body against the surface. The girls legs instinctively wrapped themselves around the males sides, her bottom landing on his thigh as he pressed knee against the wall as a makeshift seat.
“Like’ my pretty little trophy.” She felt the blindfold feather down from her eyes, gazing down at him with a heavy stare as he inhaled deeply, chest heaving. Both of his hands rested on her hips, molding around the area as he guided her lower half closer.
Y/n’s breath caught in her throat, fighting back the moan that threatened to bubble up as her core ignited with a burst of arousal, the hardness of his thigh pressing into her heat. “Fuck- Matt.” She gasped out, sending him a glare.
His blue eyes flicked up to hers, a smirk crossing his plump, a small pop sound registering in the girls ear as she looked down. Matt effortlessly undid the button of her shorts, following the action with tugging the denim down her smooth thighs. “Say the word.” Matt’s tongue twinge the inside of his cheek as he pulled the shorts down her thighs, stopping mid way to look up into her eyes.
He waited, and waited, just for her to tell him to stop. But he was met with silence. That was until two hands were gripping the neckline of the triplets shirt, pulling him closer into the warmth of her body. “Just- do something.” She finally managed out, a whine drawing out at the end of her plea.
Matthew immediately began to slip her bottoms off, chuckling huskily as he shook his head. “Such a little brat.” She leaned her weight on the surface of his muscular thigh, lifting her hips for easier access as Matt tugged the denim the rest of the way down, the shorts slipping down and hooking around her one ankle.
The male didn’t move with haste, taking his sweet time to lower himself to his knees, carefully lifting and placing the girls legs around his broad shoulders. Matt’s hands softly pry her thighs apart, littering small pecks to the inside of the dewy skin as he made his way through her two plush thighs.
One touch, one little graze of his lips against the lace of her faded pink underwear was all it took for her thighs to clamp around his head. With hooded eyes, he flicked his gaze up to the unknowing girl. “Baby,” Her head snapped down as she heard him tut, catching the look of his face. “Open your damn legs.” He muttered, hardening his gaze.
He didn’t have ask twice. “Atta’ girl.” He praised as her thighs parted, leaving the perfect amount of space for his head to slip between. Y/n assumed that the demand was finally going to result in her being touched. But much to her dismay, he continued to taunt her.
Whimpering as he nipped at her thigh, right next to where she needed him, she reached down and threaded a hand through his tousled hair. “Don’t give me that half assed shit.’ She whined, gritting her teeth a bit as the sexual frustration grew.
“Yes ma’am.” He joked, his fingertips teasing the hem lace of her underwear.
He leisurely slid the itchy material down her thighs, biting down on his bottom lip as he caught sight of her glistening core. “All for me. huh, baby?” Y/n nodded with a small hum, chest heaving as she peered down at him, Matt’s perfect lips pursing as he blew a cold stream of air onto the sensitive skin of her pussy.
“Matt.” His one hand that gripped the underside of her thigh lightly squeezed the area. “I know baby, I know.” He murmured. Within seconds the frustration she felt had passed, as Matt’s lips began moving against her lower ones. “Fuck.” She moaned breathily, her head falling back against the wall.
His tongue slipped between her slick folds, harshly lapping at her core as if he was savouring every inch of her. “So fuckin’ good.” He moaned softly against her.
Her eyes that had lulled shut with pleasure, slowly pulled open at the sound of Matt’s small whisper. “Huh?” She reached her hand down, running her fingers through his brunette hair before gently tugging his head up.
“What’d you say?” Y/n patted his cheek lightly, trying to snap him out of whatever hazy high he’d put himself in. As more wetness trickled down the insides of her thighs, Matt’s eyes had visibly blurred over, pupils dilated as he looked up at his girlfriend with need. “S’just so good.” The boy panted out.
Eyebrows knitting together, and lips parting as she went to reply. “Jesus!” It was replaced with a choked moan, her head thrown back in pleasure while Matt’s tongue reconnected with her heat, dragging a long stripe up her core. He felt her pulse against his tastebuds, locking the sounds she made every time he’d nudge her clit.
The triplet’s mind was utterly corrupted by the girl. Y/n this, Y/n that, god Y/n tasted so good, I wonder what Y/n would feel like- his thought process was entirely fucked. Leading to the current, the tip of his nose grazing her clit as he buried his face into her throbbing pussy. “Fuck.” He moaned with a slight slur, both hands down gripping each sides of her thighs.
Y/n’s eyes were squeezed shut, mouth ajar as she wondered what had gotten into her once tame and collected boyfriend. “Matt,” She’d whimper out every few seconds, the light melodic rhythm of her voice going completely deaf to the man’s ears, as he desperately lapped at her sopping heat.
It was only until he felt the girls thighs begin to clamp around his head that he was brought from his foggy mindset, hooded eyes dragging up to the breathless girl while removing his mouth from her pulsing core. “sweetheart,” he panted, running his ring clad hand down his jaw. “Don’t get me wrong, I fuckin’ love it,” He chuckled, making her roll her eyes with a small whimper.
“But I can’t really fuck you with my tongue, if you’re doing that.” She blew out a small sound of confusion, before spotting the pink area or skin behind his both ears, his diamond studs having pressed down against the skin whenever she’d clamp her thighs around his ears. “Can I?” He mumbled, lifting a brow.
She nodded pitifully, gripping his hair in her small hand ushering his face back to her drenched core. “Mhm.” Matt huffed out a sound of amusement, but like the gentleman he was, continued to guide the girl to her release. “Yess.” The hand in his hair gripped the tendrils harshly, pulling him closer into her as he swirled his tongue around the bundle of need.
He couldn’t help but glide his own hand downward, lightly palming over the obvious tent in his jeans. Matt neglected his aching cock for the extended period of time, ever since he saw her in that sexy little get up. Or when she’d accidentally brush her ass against his dick when she flailed backward into his body when frightened.
It wasn’t because he hadn’t felt the need to though. Not at all. In fact, he’d fought and resisted the temptation of slipping his hand into his jeans, fisting the aching hard on he sported just by the mere sight of Y/n. Or to grab the girl, nudge her into a random haunted room, and to slam his cock into her the second he tugged the denim shorts down her thighs.
Then there was her.
Matt was simply content with mind-fucking the girl, taunting and teasing her throughout the sinister night. Her every tantalizing move alluring him further, making his eyes gleam with a darkness that begged to be released with a quick fuck.
And because it was an escape, a distraction, she didn’t mind. “Gonna’ cum.” Y/n gasped out, feeling his lips pepper wet pecks all around her beating heat, groaning as he placed a final one directly over her dripping core.
The girls hips moved against his working lips as she felt the ball in her abdomen begin to unravel, eyes fluttering shut as her mouth opened in a silent moan. Matt’s eyes slid up to her as she came, lips quirking up as he watched her shatter in his hands.
Back arching as she pushed her dripping pussy closer to his lips as he lapped up her release, the familiar taste touching his tongue with an addictive undertone. He couldn’t get enough, fighting the urge of his eyes rolling back as his hands roamed every inch of her soft skin.
Y/n whimpered softly, watching the magnifying boy place two last kisses on the inside of either thigh’s. “sorry.” She whispered, making Matt’s eyebrows raise with surprise. “Sorry? Sorry for what, baby?” He laughed a bit, running the back of his hand across his damp lips.
Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, turning her head away. “I don’t even know- it’s just embarrassing.” Matt scoffed, dragging her underwear and shorts up her thighs while raising from his haunches.
“Nothing you could ever say or do, would be ‘embarrassing’.” He said firmly, pulling her shorts over her supple ass. “always’ my perfect girl.” He murmured, pressing his index and middle finger into her cheek, tilting her hed his way again.
The girl blushed, nipping at her bottom lip as she shifted foot to foot. “Do you want me to..” she trailed off, nodding toward the tent in his pants. Matt rolled his eyes, running the hand down her hair as he pulled her closer. “So bad it fuckin’ aches for you.” He grunted.
She immediately reached down to tug at the button, her hand being caught by a larger one. “hey,” Matt chuckled, making her flick her gaze up to his. “I thought-” She squealed, taken aback as his lips pressed onto hers.
The hand atop her soft hair drifted down to cup the side of her neck, Matthew’s thumb rubbing back and forth across her steadily beating pulse. “but,” He whispered. “I would much rather have this little mouth,” He muttered in between kisses. “on my cock after I’ve gotten you all warm. Bathed, fed, and in some comfortable clothes.” he chuckled, his other thumb running along the underside of her bottom lip.
There noses brushed each others even after they pulled away, Matt looking to be pondering as he looked off. “Hm..” She rose a brow, a grin spreading cross her raw lips. “Preferably something of mine.” He said, flicking his gaze back to hers.
Y/n’s eyebrows rose, tilting her head aside as he smiled up at her boyfriend. “Yours, huh?” She mused, her grin growing at his firm nod. “What about that white fresh love-” She yelped as a hand collided with the skin of her thigh, winching as he rubbed over the now pink skin.
“Always a brat.” He murmured, a smirk growing on his lips as he watched her thighs squeeze together at the action. Little masochist. “Maybe the bath and change of clothes can wait..” Her eyes lit up, opening her mouth to retort brattily.
Bang!
“Holy fuck!” Y/n cried, gripping onto her boyfriend’s arm as a ringing noise echoed through the void room. Matt went still, but managed to breathily laugh while patting the girls head. “Kid- you’re fine-” He attempted to assure, but flinched and cursed himself when he heard glass shatter. “Jesus.” He muttered, eyes wide as he snapped his head behind him.
The door flew open, the silhouette of four men standing in the door way. “I’m dead- I’m dying tonight-” she rambled, shaking her head rapidly as she gripped onto Matt’s muscular forearm. Matt laughed through the fright, faltering from his stance above her. “No you’re not, doll.” He chuckled.
“Ouch!”
Matt winced, pulling his forearm away from the girl. “You pinched me.” He sounded betrayed, cradling his tattooed arm to his chest as he looked down at his fearful girlfriend.
“It’s because I love you.” She whined, a small cry at the end of her sentence as she heard a door creak. “And I’m sorry I never got to go down-”
“Boo!”
The couple screamed, Y/n throwing herself into Matt’s arms. Sam and Colby stood side by side, the blonde grinning ear to ear as he held up the medium sized camera. He looked enthralled, whereas the two looked petrified. “How’d it go?!” Nick, who stood not behind joyed.
Y/n’s shoulders fell seeing the friend she knew and trusted, but ran a hand down her face as it fell back on the wall. “Oh my god.” Matt threw his brothers a glare, hands trembling ever so slightly. “You scared the shit out of me, guys.” Y/n laughed.
Sam and Colby brought the camera a little closer, the couple squinting from the light. “How was it? Hear anything ghostly.” Colby mused, laughing a bit.
Matt and Y/n looked at each other, eyes wide. “Uh..” The girl snapped her head in the direction of the friends, rushing to find some kind of excuse- or lie. “Glass!” She exclaimed, making the group of four all look toward each other in confusion.
Matt felt himself confused as well. “Ow!” Y/n sent him a warning glance, slapping his shoulder. “Oh fuck- yeah, that.” Matt looked back at Colby. “Glass.. broke?” He said, looking back at his girlfriend for reassurance. She nodded in alliance. “Yep. Loud.” Matt nodded along.
Suddenly the couples current position registered to each other, as well as their friends. “So..” Y/n mumbled, lips drawing into a line as she slid down the wall and out from her boyfriend’s body. “Yep, it was very spooky.” Patting his chest once, Matt looked down at his girlfriend with a toothy smile.
God she was cute.
Nick made an expression of realization, face scrunching up as he faux gagged. “Geez, guys.” He groaned, rolling his eyes as he saw the discarded headsets and blindfolds. “That was me.” Matt and Y/n looked at each other, before looking back at the eldest triplet.
“.. I tripped over a lantern, okay?!” He confessed, a blush spreading across his cheeks from both embarrassed and having been exposed to whatever rendezvous his brother and girlfriend were having. “And I heard screaming, that definitely wasn’t out of fear- longgg before I did that-” He attempted to deflect.
Chris immediately cut him off. “Nick-nick. Shut the fuck up.” He hissed, nudging his side.
“Okay!” Sam interrupted, cheeks slightly red as he looked around at the group. “We’ve been filming for over two hours, which is more than enough. Anyone wanna’ catch dinner?” He put his hands together, grinning sheepishly.
Me and Matt stayed silent, Chris’s and Nick’s hands flying up simultaneously. “Me.” They both say, voice overlapping each others.
“Great!” Sam exclaimed, sending a quick smile our way.
As the group dispersed the room, Matt slowly let his head fall against Y/n’s chest, letting out a small whine. “Holy shit.” His voice came out muffled, lips mushed against her goosebump-ridden chest.
She patted his head a few times. “I know. I know.” Oh god, did she know.
୨ৎ 𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓈 -
@tvdelrey @luverboychris
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dontexpectmuch · 6 months ago
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i know how much you guys love this series, so i give you a new part. this one how ever will be;
comments/feedback is highly appreciated! please, im getting desperate :d
Habits Jude Bellingham might develop before you guys get into a relationship!
(a Lost in Madrid drabble!)
it is no secret that jude just loves to talk. he genuinely enjoys it so much to share any and every thought that goes through his mind, no matter how small it might be. he couldn’t tell when it started exactly, but suddenly he found himself on his way to you, a tired student that just wants to finish their work. as soon as he lifts his hand, knocks on your door and enters the room his lips start moving, talking so lively and fast that you need some time to register what is even happening.
“what do you mean ‘m talkin’ your ear off? you literally study literature and shit!” - “it’s more about reading, jude.” you sigh, wishing for any kind of help at this moment.
it is also nothing new for you to receive messages from jude during your quiet evenings when you decide to stay home. jude recently got into sending audio messages, you being his number one victim [forced] friend, whom he shared this new passion with. and most of the times he won’t even say anything important. he’ll just sing a new spanish song he has learned that past week. and he will sing. no matter how terrible it sounds and how much it makes your ears bleed. though, you also always listen to those audios, even though you know what the content will be.
“jude?” opening your door after hearing a desperate knock, you did not think that you would see your [not] friend standing there. he looks tiredly at you, clothes wrinkled and sandals on, “mum wanted me to bring you some cake she baked.” he gives you the tupperware filled with slices of cake, energy low. you feel your shoulders relax as you look up at him, “tell her i love her, please.” he just nods. and even though he always complains to you about how he is not some delivery boy, he can’t help but get excited at the thought of seeing your soft eyes when you receive food his mum made. it makes him feel giddy inside.
he makes you trip purposely whenever you walk in front of him, and then giggles and jogs away to join the others on the field when you send daggers his way with your glare.
he forces you to play two-touch, even though you have told him multiple times already that you cannot play really well. he quite literally forces you to become better, giving you tips while making you pass the ball against the wall back and forth. “i don’t want to do this anymore, jude.” - “well, that’s too damn bad.” his gaze serious as he corrects your form once more. “bitch.” you murmur under your breath, praying for him to just disappear somewhere and leave you alone.
“what?” you ask as you look up from your notes, eyes wide as you watch jude place a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll onto your desk. “i heard that you like sweets, or whatever.” he says, [desperately] wanting to look cool. your heart starts to pick up in speed when you look back and forth between jude and the things he just gave you, warmth spreading through your body. “thanks.”
“watch me.” he smirks at you, who looks quite annoyed tired at him. “i’ll hit this first time.” - “like you did to me on my first day here?” - “dude! i told you not to talk about it anymore, ‘t’s a sensitive topic for me, ‘kay?”
heartfelt conversations between you are not as rare as one might think. whenever jude comes to you to talk your ear off while toi work on your research, you sometimes tell him about your own stuff. that leads to various topics you two discuss, which also results in sharing some intimate thoughts. it makes jude, who usually looks so confident and well put together, look more human, like a 20 year old guy who also learns something new every day.
—————————————
surpriseee! hope you like it!! :)
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yoonvvs · 5 months ago
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✧ ⠀.·:*¨¨*:·. BUT I PROMISE YOU THIS, ILL ALWAYS LOOK AFTER YOU
BLAISE & SKZ
BLAISE & BANG CHAN !
now playing > saturday nights ( khalid )
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blaise & chan have such a sweet friendship. chan is so so so tolerant and patient with blaise, regardless of if she’s joking around with him, full of energy or full of anxiety. chan would 100% go to the moon and back for blaise - blaise knows whenever she gets in a sticky situation, she can run to chan and he will find a way to make the situation all better, after he scolds her for her poor decisions. she knows she can tell him anything - and he knows everything, more than anyone, even her parents - and even though it took awhile, chan knows he can tell blaise anything too, and he does. they care for each other so much.
she’s chan’s passenger princess, he’s the only member that refuses to let her be the driver when they go places together - not that chan thinks blaise is a bad driver, but he much rather not fear for his and hers life in the passenger seat when he can do it in the drivers seat. but blaise mastered being a passenger, she always has the ac on the right temp, great at giving directions and keeps the vibes good with the music! best and most chill duo!
BLAISE & MINHO !
now playing > hits different ( taylor swift )
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blaise & minho are constantly on the same brain length - the amount of times they texted each other basically the same thing is unreal - causing stays to call them the “twins”. despite this, they are pretty much polar opposites, for example, to tease one another minho likes to “threaten”, while blaise likes to get overly affectionate and harass him, like “oh, you’re just mad because you think im pretty!” but they get along so well!!! always hanging out! fans also often call them tom & jerry because they are always teasing each other and have chaotic antics. there’s a literal compilation of blaise & minho chasing each other around for stupid reasons.
despite their chaos, minho is the one who gives blaise the most princess treatment. he’s always making sure she’s warm (although he might pretend to be annoyed, “blaise, stop shivering you’re making me dizzy! i’m going to make you run laps to keep you warm!” while taking his hoodie off and giving it to her), he lets her use him as a pillow if she gets sleepy, and always makes sure she has a blanket to cover up with on award shows. the glares he gives staff if she doesn’t have a blanket or is wearing uncomfortable clothes is so scary…he also loves to secretly buy her gifts and just leave it by her door, leaving no note. but blaise knows it’s from him and subtly shows her appreciation in small ways <3
BLAISE & CHANGBIN !
now playing > OMG ( new jeans )
vibes
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blaise is a #1 changbin supporter, she looks up to him SO MUCH. she loves his confidence, his humor, and the amount of skill he has. she’s always trying to do his raps, and whenever she does it well SHES SO PROUD OF HERSELF! and so is changbin, he’s like “ i taught her well ☺️ ”. changbin loves that she looks up to him so much, it makes his heart so full knowing that he can be a good example for someone, esp his members! he is lovey dovey towards blaise, always giving her hugs and complimenting her, he’s always poking her cheeks and cheering her on!
changbin also likes to try to take her to the gym, and while blaise likes working out - she does not like to do changbin’s routine. she wants to match his energy…but she is not on his level ( yet ), so they pretty much just go to the gym together…then go their own ways. but besides that, they are such an adorable pairing to watch! their vlives are always so precious, and they are always laughing or giggling. stays love their vibes so much!
BLAISE & HYUNJIN !
now playing > i hope ur miserable until ur dead ( nessa barrett ) | yes, i’m changing ( tame impala )
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blaise & hyunjin have a…complicated relationship. pre-debut, before anything happened, they were inseparable. they were always seen together, and they could always find excuses to spend together, pretending like they were “practicing”, while they were just hanging out. when they debuted, they quickly caught feelings for each other. they couldn’t help but fall in love through all of the chaos. fast forward a couple months later, they were dating in secert, eventually coming clean when seungmin caught them kissing…everything was going good - they were happy and in love, until hyunjin did the unforgivable and cheated on her.
for awhile, they could not stand each other, they couldn’t even breathe the same air without getting upset. they were angry, heartbroken, and petty for months. but eventually, hyunjin & blaise cooled down. hyunjin apologized, and promise he’d be better. it was genuine, he stopped being inconsiderate, and put himself in blaise’s shoes. after multiple, long, conversations, they started to heal their friendship. they aren’t back to being best friends, but they’re happy to call each other friends. now, they go on coffee trips, watch movies together, and can now have a peaceful and kind time together! they won’t ever get back to where they were again, but things are better now!
BLAISE & JISUNG !
now playing > the spins ( mac miller & empire of the sun )
the vibes only ok
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BESTIES FROM DAY 1! jisung was blaise’s first friend from skz, they both joined the company around the same time, and were paired up together for their first evaluation (as well as other trainees), they showcased fly by got7! out of all the trainees they were paired with in the group, blaise & jisung got the closest. the other two trainees in the group were very rude to blaise, and jisung immediately stuck up for her, without even knowing her! after seeing his kindness, she knew immediately that they had to be friends :)
now, blaise & jisung are SO iconic, the comedic duo we all need! they always match each others craziness, and will never let one be alone in being weird. will constantly bicker like siblings, and are not scared to insult each other with no shame. minho posted a video of them wrestling each other on the beach on his insta, and later shared part two of jisung throwing blaise into the ocean like a menace 😁. blaise couldn’t let stays admire jisung’s strength for long, because she posted the video of her dragging jisung’s ass into the ocean on her own story later! utter chaos.
BLAISE & FELIX !
now playing > birds of a feather ( billie ellish )
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blaise is protecting felix WITH HER LIFE! if felix is every getting a penalty and has to do something gross or just something felix is not excited to do, blaise is immediately getting up and doing it with him. she’s his literal “if you go down, we go down together” best friend. blaise also brings out felix’s impulsive side - whenever blaise & felix are together you know you’re going to have a good time.
felix also adores blaise SO MUCH. whenever blaise is off, felix immediately notices and silently tries to make her feel better, like getting her water or food, he’s the first to notice when she’s about to get hangry. that boy always makes sure she’s well fed, or else he knows they are all going to pay for it later 😀. he learned to braid hair for blaise! when they first became friends, he started practicing on her hair, and now he is so good at it! blaise always lets him do her hair whenever he wants to, she loves it so much!
BLAISE & SEUNGMIN !
now playing > best friend ( laufey )
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blaise & seungmin are almost always giving each other a hard time, but it’s out of love everytime! somehow, they manage to compliment each other and insult each other all in one sentence, but they know it’s all jokes. stays love their pairing, because they are literally the yapper ( blaise ), and the listener ( seungmin ). blaise will be talking and telling stories, while seungmin is like “why is there a bug buzzing in here”, but he loves to listen to blaise even if he acts like he doesn’t.
they are literal siblings, felix & blaise are the expectation of siblings while seungmin & blaise are the reality. sometimes he just stands in her room and looks at her, giggling and running away when she finally gets annoyed. blaise always gets him back by pranking him in some way, her favorite thing to do is to knock on his door and then run away, finally revealing herself when seungmin gets frustrated. he falls for it everytime. despite their fun & games, they will always make sure they never go too far, and will check in on each other in their own ways, for example, blaise loves to bribe seungmin in running errands with her, when in reality she just wants to take him to lunch!! and she always wins in paying, but seungmin won’t give up until he gets to pay.
BLAISE & JEONGIN !
now playing > sit next to me ( foster the people )
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jeongin is the human version of blaise’s impulsive thoughts. this man will encourage her to do anything, just so he can watch and laugh (and later make fun of her). she wants to spend all her money at the mall even though she’s trying to save? jeongin is giving her a long list of reasons to do it. that being said, jeongin and blaise have had countless of chaotic memories together. blaise wants to do something, and jeongin is like “let’s do it!” esp after he became legal and could drink ( blaise’s parents didn’t see this )
jeongin can always make her smile - whenever she’s having a hard time, she’s knocking on jeongin’s door, and sits on his floor - all jeongin needs is a look from her, and he’s turning on their playlist, grabbing a blanket, and sitting on the floor with her. and they will just talk, for hours, and whenever jeongin needs her, she will do the same exact thing. when things got really bad with blaise ( mental health ) jeongin was there to drag her out of the bed and pretty much forced her to live. jeongin & blaise are each other’s soul friends!
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lumi-nescentt · 1 year ago
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Max Verstappen seems like the type who would absolutely be jealous of his cats getting more attention than him, add in that his partner is allergic to cats, and she's still choosing to spend the few hours they have together when Max is home, cuddling with the cats instead of cuddling with Max.
There's just something sweet in my mind about a whining Max who's loosing to his cats, despite his girlfriend being all teared up and snotty because of her allergies, the cats are cute, and she has to cuddle them.
This is a mess of an ask, I apologise
Head On The Pillow, I Could Feel You Sneakin' In
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Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader
Warnings: none
Words: 1.6k
Summary: Max doesn't consider himself jealous. But he might start acting a little grumpy if he sees you choose his cats over him one more time.
A/N: Omg please don't apologise this was the cutest idea ever and after writing angsty stuff all week I was thrilled to have something sweet to think about :) I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it hehe
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Giving you a key to his apartment had seemed like the best idea for the two of you after dating for a few months. Max could tell you exactly when he was supposed to be back and he knew you’d be there waiting for him if you could. It was also good for when you missed him too much and wanted to either steal some of his clothes while he was gone or just stay at his place surrounded by so many things that screamed Max.
Normally, Max would have been over the moon to be with someone who was comfortable enough in his own home to spend time there with or without him but lately, Max seemed to notice a certain pattern. 
No matter when he called or texted, if you weren’t supposed to be working, you were always at his place. This first part wouldn’t have bothered him at all if it wasn’t for your cat allergies. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been but your eyes still got all red and puffy whenever you were around Jimmy and Sassy and you sneezed a lot. 
Max had tried to convince you countless times to stay away from them but you couldn’t resist them. They just had to be in the same room as you and you were already calling them over so Sassy could rest on your lap while Jimmy nuzzled against your side. If the cats realised you were allergic to them and tried to keep yourself from sneezing on them, they didn’t show it and gave you back as much love as they could. 
Part of Max was almost in awe to see you being this affectionate with his cats when they barely acknowledged him most of the time but he couldn’t help from wanting to be the one to receive all the attention. It had been fine during the summer break because you were spending all your time with him anyway but now that he was always gone, he really wanted to make the limited time he had with you count. 
As soon as the Qatar Grand Prix was over, all he wanted was to lay down with you in bed and not move for a few hours. He was exhausted, sweating all over and honestly driving in those conditions had been a nightmare. He really needed to complain about it, just to let it out, but with the media all around he wasn’t sure if his PR team would appreciate it so he kept his mouth shut, waiting to be all cuddled up in your arms to vent as you ran your hands through his hair like you usually did. 
When he landed in Nice a few hours later, Max had never been happier to have his own jet. All he could think about now was going back home to you, and his cats, but mostly you. He knew you’d be here because you told him so but he didn’t expect you to be in bed already, or to still be cuddling the cats instead of him when he lied down next to you.
-“ Schatje ?” he asked, only getting a sleepy groan as an answer “ Can you make them move please ? Jimmy’s claws are scratching my back and Sassy’s using half of my pillow…”
-“ They’re asleep Max, I don’t want to wake them but I can scoot away a bit and bring Jimmy with me a little if you want.” you answered with your eyes closed, your face resting against Sassy’s head while her back was on Max’ pillow
-“ I don’t want you to move away. I want him to move away and you to move closer.” he grumbled 
-“ I can’t do that without waking them up. I'm sorry baby, I promise we can cuddle all you want tomorrow. Is that okay with you ?” 
-“ Yeah I guess, good night schatje.” Max gave in, stretching over the cats to place a quick kiss on your cheek before settling down as best as he could against Sassy
When Max woke up the next day to a pillow all for himself, he wanted to make the most of this chance so he turned around, ready to drag your body closer to his but just like both cats had left him, you were no longer lying next to him. Groaning ever so slightly, Max got out of bed and started looking for where you had decided to go at 8am when he knew you had the day off. 
He quickly found you on the sofa with the cats laying all over you while you were clinging onto the box of tissues for dear life, trying not to sneeze and wake them up. 
-“ I didn’t think you’d wake up this soon Max, did I wake you ?” 
-“ No, I just missed you so I decided to get up.”
-“ I missed you too, baby.” you smiled at him warmly
-“ Did you really ?” 
-“ Yeah of course I did, we haven’t seen each other in 2 weeks. That’s a long time.” 
-“ It doesn’t quite seem like it…” Max complained with a pout
-“ What do you mean ?” you asked, confused as to why your boyfriend would be upset
-“ Since I came back all you did was cuddle with the cats and when I woke up and wanted to do the same like you promised, you were already gone...” 
-“ I’m sorry, they were hungry and I didn’t want their meowing to wake you up so we went to the kitchen and then I sat down for a second and Jimmy fell asleep on me so I couldn’t go back to you.”
-“ Just put him down on the sofa, he won’t even realise that you’re gone.” 
-“ Yes he will ! And then he’s going to think I don’t love him anymore and I don’t want him to think that.” 
-“ He’s a cat y/n.” 
-“ So ?”
-“ He’s not going to care that much as long as you keep feeding and petting him the rest of the time. However, your boyfriend who just came back from a very tiring race and wanted to be close to you might think you don’t want him anymore if you keep choosing his cats over him.” Max mumbled, crossing his arms as he eyed the two cats stealing your attention
-“ You don’t have to be jealous, okay ? There’s still room for you next to me, you know ?” you chuckled, patting the spot next to you
Max was going to sit down next to you when Sassy appeared from nowhere and jumped on the couch next to you, laying down where Max was planning on sitting. That was the final straw for your boyfriend and before you could realise what was happening, Max was taking Jimmy in his arms and putting him on the sofa before picking you up as you helplessly laughed and asked him to put you down. 
Max made his way to your bedroom, closing the door behind him before the cats could follow. Once he was sure it was only the two of you, he put you down with a satisfied huff.
-“ Are you satisfied now ?” you asked him with a grin
-“ Almost.” he said before handing you a tissue and heading towards the joint bathroom “ Here, take your allergy treatment then go shower because your eyes are all red and your arm is too. Once you’re done, I’ll be waiting on that promise you made and without the cats anywhere near you.” 
-“ But–”
-“ No ‘but’ schatje, I know you love them but I shouldn’t have to remind you that you’re allergic to them to get your full attention and to get you to put some distance between you.”
-“ They’re so cute, how am I supposed to not cuddle them when I need cuddles ?” 
-“ You have a boyfriend who’s perfectly able to do that too but since you seem to have forgotten, I’ve decided not to do anything all morning except reminding you that I’m way better than my own cats at this.” Max huffed, looking determined
When you came back from your shower, Max was waiting on a freshly made bed with two cups of coffee and a few pastries he had gone to pick up at the bakery downstairs. You sat on the bed for a while, eating your breakfast in front of a TV show you had just started together but as soon as you were done eating, Max was pulling you under the blanket and resting his head on your chest, tightening his arms around your waist.
-“ Isn’t this better than two fur balls that make your eyes itchy and your nose runny ?” Max asked, with his face buried against you
-“ It’s very nice, I have to admit.”
-“ I know but is it better than them ?” he insisted
-“ You’re really jealous, huh ?”
-“ Answer the question y/n.”
-“ Yes, this is way better Max.” 
-“ Good, I would have hated to have to sell my babies because they were stealing you away from me.” 
-“ You wouldn’t.” you exclaimed with a laugh
-“ I might if they keep you from me. I love them but I know I love you more, that’s for sure.” 
-“ You’re an idiot, I swear.” 
-“ I know, but I’m your idiot.” 
-“ That you are, now shush I want to watch this.” 
-“ Only if you promise me that I will come before the cats, always.” 
-“ Max.”
-“y/n.” he deadpanned, still waiting for you to comply
-“ I promise you come before the cats. You’re my favourite person, of course you come first.” 
-“ I love you.” Max smiled, placing a kiss on your stomach where he was now laying before adding “ Now shush, I actually want to watch this too.” 
-“ You’re insufferable.” you laughed, ruffling his hair slightly “I love you too dummy.”
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riddle-me-ri · 2 months ago
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Hi! I have been searching for a Lupin iii writer for a long time. Can I request a Lupin iii characters when they realise they are in love with the reader. Like that exact moment where they go "Oh god..." Thank you!
a/n: awwww me wee heart this is so cute and was so fun to work on, hope you don't mind I took it a step farther to also explain why/how they fell in love hehe. Hope you enjoy anon! I'm glad to be of service!
Content Warning: super fluffy, like an absurd amount of fluffiness
Lupin and Gang Realizing They're in Love with Reader
Lupin the Third
- To say Lupin falls in love easily is an understatement.
- However, it's usually more along the lines of an infatuation or passing fancy than anything.
- The same can't be said for you however..even though that's how it all started out.
- He flirted with you, gave you gifts, and took on heists for the shere goal of trying to impress you. (much to Jigen and Goemon's chagrin)
- While you seem appreciative of such gestures…you seemed to just appreciate…himself more.
- You enjoyed being in his presence. Hand in hand, arms linked with each other.
- Lupin can't help but enjoy these moments with you too.
- For all his habits, tendencies, and eccentrics…you always stayed by him, never running off or leaving for someone/something else.
- And he loves you for that.
Jigen Daisuke
- Jigen tries to ignore it, hoping it'll pass like a bad day.
- Falling for people has gotten him nowhere, but rock bottom, why would you be any different?
- Well, for starters, you've definitely stuck around longer than most.
- You've stuck by your word, haven't betrayed him…
- Plus it's the little thoughtful things you do.
- You always caught his hat when it would fly off his head, had a spare lighter for his bent cigarettes…
- Yeah, he liked having you around, maybe something more…despite his better judgment…
- He didn't realize just how down bad he was though until he saw you teasingly place his hat on your head.
- Jigen didn't even know he could blush until that moment.
- It was like something switched on in his brain. He knew what this was, but whether you'd find out or not…only time would tell.
Goemon Ishikawa XIII
- Mr. Tries to ignore it #2
- Yet with each passing day, it becomes more difficult to just ignore.
- He can't deny the warm, invasive but comforting feeling he gets when you're around.
- Or how you have his full undivided attention when you call his name.
- When you're gone from his sight for too long; he begins to worry.
- He finds that whenever you're upset, so is he.
- Goemon takes great pride in keeping his emotions under control.
- Yet, when it comes to you and the strong influence you have over him…
- Every waking moment of his contained you in some form or fashion…
- Goemon realizes he loves you, and even if you never find out or don't reciprocate…he would still remain devoted to you.
Fujiko Mine
- It sorta shakes Fujiko to realize how deep she's fallen.
- Much like Lupin, she also tends to just have passing fancies but not with you.
- Fujiko couldn't imagine leaving you high and dry like she's done others.
- She can't help but think of what you and her could do with the loot she manages to steal, not just what she could do with it.
- Fujiko invites you along with her more than her other previous suitors on her trips…
- Your genuine company, the way you make her laugh, your thoughtful gestures…
- All these little things make her fall for you more and more.
- Fujiko doesn't realize it until she finds herself almost saying the three words out loud to you.
- You weren't even giving her anything or offering to go on a goose chase for a lucrative item of her desires…
- You were just staring back at her just as lovingly as she was…
- Fujiko had to stop herself, though, there's no telling what kind of damage those words can cause if uttered out loud.
Inspector Zenigata
- Nervous, fidgety, blushy state of a man.
- The fact that you get his mind off Lupin for even a second says an exorbitant amount of how much you mean to him.
- When he finds his mind drifting to you and what you're up to…(and not just Lupin and his antics)
- It becomes clear to the inspector he has fallen for you.
- Now he feels he has another incentive to catch Lupin; to impress you and to get to spend more time with you.
- Zenigata feels like you're the only person to actually make him calm.
- You're just so supportive, thoughtful, and considerate…never doubting or ridiculing him.
- The way you'd leave proper meals for him in his office or car so he wasn't always eating instant ramen…
- You were always there whenever his stake outs blundered or Lupin inevitably got away.
- You respected him as the Inspector, but you cared about him as a person as well, and understood him better than most…
- Zenigata doesn't deny his feelings, but he denies the possibility of them going anywhere due to his mission of capturing Lupin…
- Perhaps one day he may find the courage, or he finds contentment in the way you two are now and will leave it at that.
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halsteadlover · 1 year ago
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Unexpected
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*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.
• Requested by @stu-machers-girl: Reader had known Jay since she’d first started as a dispatcher for Chicago. It wasn’t long until she’d developed a crush on the older man. She didn’t say anything since she realized he was dating Erin but then she left. She left and Jay got kidnapped; reader heard it over the radio. Hank texted her to say they’d found him and she left her job without saying anything and sped to the hospital. When she saw the blonde detective in the waiting room they got into a fight and reader punched her. She refused to leave the hospital until Jay woke up and laid in bed with him the entire time. When he woke up, in the heat of the moment her lips were on his in a moment.
• Warnings: slight mention of injuries and ‘violence’ (pls bear with me I can’t write fight scene not even for saving my life), cuss words. I don’t know, let me know if there’s anything else <3
• Word count: 8368.
• A/N: so yeah, I got carried away, pls don’t hate me, I think that’s the longest piece I’ve ever written 😭. I changed it up a bit at the end, I hope it’s okay. Please let me know what you think of this? I hope you’ll like it and I already apologize for any grammar error ❤️ comment, like and reblog if you want, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you so much for your constant support, I love you all xx
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It was hard.
God, why did being in love have to be so tough?
You thought it’d be easier to control your feelings. You thought you'd be better at pretending everything was fine, pretending your heart didn't actually open into a chasm every time you even heard his name.
You thought it was just a simple crush, a simple infatuation that – knowing it couldn't go any further – it’d soon vanish. But unfortunately it wasn't easy and you soon found yourself in a spiral of suffering and thuds in your stomach. Your mind knew there would never be anything but your heart didn't want to understand it.
Falling in love with Jay wasn't planned, you’d never imagine it and you couldn't even explain how it happened or when. It's those things that just happen without any warning.
You first met Jay after your first shift as a paramedic at Molly's, where your colleagues used to meet after their shifts.
You were sitting at a table with a beer in front of you, you didn't know anyone yet – except for the colleagues you had met during the day who weren't there – and you looked around, sipping the drink from time to time, wondering when you were going to start to feel that place like home.
You moved to Chicago a month prior and it goes without saying you underestimated how difficult it’d be to start a new life in a new city, starting from scratch.
Jay had seen you from afar, looking tired and disoriented and for some reason he had decided to approach you.
When you first saw him you felt the air being cut from your chest, you didn't expect someone – someone so damn beautiful – to approach you.
That stranger you soon discovered was named Jay found himself talking with you, asking you questions about yourself and why he had never seen you before. You explained to him that you had just started working and you found out he had been a detective in the Intelligence unit for about six months.
You were never one to talk to strangers, to tell someone something about your life on the first time you met them, but for some strange reason those bright green eyes and his reassuring smile made you feel at ease, and as the evening wore by, you thanked yourself for not deciding to stay home that night.
Jay was an angel to you, literally.
After that evening he promised you he’d give you a tour of the city, making you visit the most beautiful places and taking you to the best places to eat. You exchanged numbers and he also made you promise you’d call him whenever you felt alone and wanted company.
He also introduced you to the rest of his team, as well as his closest friends, and they were just as kind and welcoming, letting you know you’d meet several times even during work shifts because of criminals and things like that.
Three years have passed since that evening and Jay kept all his promises.
Over time he became your closest friend and you spent time together whenever you both could. You had become his anchor and he had become your safe haven.
You had promised yourself over the time that your friendship would never go any further – also because Jay had never done anything that could’ve made you think otherwise – but the more time you spent together, the more you found yourself falling more and more in love with him.
You’d never tell him about it, even if it meant crying nights where you wanted to do nothing but run away and forget about him. If it was initially bearable and there was your friendship to give you strength, seeing him with another woman broke your heart more than you ever expected.
Erin was a colleague of his and you had seen their love story born right away. You'd heard Jay confide in you about her, asking you for advice on her when they were fighting, and you were there every time listening to him trying not to cry in front of him. There were times when Jay noticed that there was something wrong with you, he knew you by now, but you always managed to disengage the conversation by telling him that you were just tired from work.
You promised yourself you'd always be by his side but seeing him so happy with her… Damn it, it was so hard.
You couldn't take it anymore, you were a walking disaster and all your colleagues and friends saw how you weren't as happy and carefree as you used to be. Sylvie, who was one of your closest friends and who knew all the history with Jay, tried to always be by your side, convincing you to move on, to try to open up your world and that you didn't have to cry for him forever.
She was right, completely right.
Because of this, you had begun to distance yourself from Jay a little bit, making excuses not to go out after work or limiting interactions during the shift to the minimum possible and not speaking to him except from a professional point of view.
This broke your heart, you missed spending time with him, God how you missed him, but more than him you had to love yourself and you knew spending time with him, seeing him with another woman only would made you suffer.
Jay had immediately perceived this change but he couldn't explain why. He had tried so many times to talk to you but you didn't want to tell him what was going on and it made him particularly tense and uncomfortable.
Even Erin had noticed his moodiness and she hated to know it was because of you. She hated you were always there, in front of him, in his head, always on the way, she hated seeing how much he cared about you, she hated the way he dropped everything and ran to you whenever you needed him.
She hated you.
And, dear lord, how much you hated her too. The feelings between you and her were pretty mutual.
You didn't know it, but you had been the cause of many arguments a thousand times between them. Erin wanted him to stay away from you, Jay refused to and always told her if she really wanted him you were part of the deal, take it or leave it.
You were at home one evening, resting on the sofa after a grueling work shift while watching a movie on TV and eating some chips. Sylvie had offered you to go to some bar and get drunk but you declined, not in the mood to socialize or even drink. You just wanted to stay at home and rest, hoping that day would soon be forgotten.
The ringing of your doorbell almost made you jump and you furrowed your eyebrows, not expecting anyone at the time. You placed the bowl of chips on the coffee table in front of the sofa and got up and as you rubbed your hands on your shirt to remove the crumbs from the chips, you went towards the door.
You expected it to be Sylvie but, after looking through the peephole, your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was Jay.
“Oh god,” you muttered to yourself, glancing at your shabby outfit which consisted of a simple pair of midnight blue leggings and a gray t-shirt.
What was he doing there?
“Y/N open the door, I know you're home,” Jay's voice came muffled through the door. For a moment you considered ignoring him until he got tired of it and walked away but you knew that would never happen and he’d keep banging on the doorbell until you opened it.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and slow down your racing heartbeat, and opened the door after removing the chain.
Jay looked up at you, his features visibly relaxing as his eyes fell on your figure. Your mouth felt dry as your gaze traveled up and down his body for an instant, as if to accept that he was fine.
“Hi,” you muttered, your voice so thin you were afraid he might not hear you. Your stomach was in a vice and a flock of butterflies had exploded inside you. A wave of heat run through your body and you were sure the flush of your cheeks was comparable to a tomato. “Come in.”
Why were you feeling so damn nervous? He was always Jay, he was always your best friend.
But the best friend I love madly, added your conscience.
Maybe you were nervous because you haven't seen him in two weeks, avoiding him like the plague.
You opened the door and moved to the side, giving him space to enter and as he passed the trail of his scent hit you full in the face making you almost faint.
I can’t do this.
Jay sat on the couch without saying anything, glancing at the TV that was still playing the movie, waiting for you to join him.
“You okay?” you asked as your eyes noticed the way his face was screwed up in a less than happy expression. You tried to avoid him yes, for your own good, but the thought something might’ve happened to him was tormenting you. He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands against his face in frustration before glancing at you.
“I don’t know to be honest,” he replied, but without elaborating further “What about you? Why did you disappear for the last couple of weeks? I texted you I don't know how many times and called you a thousand times. Did I do something wrong?”.
The crack your heart made was so loud you thought even Jay could hear it from where he sat. Your brain stopped working for a moment trying to think of a response to give him that wasn't ‘you know Jay I was avoiding you because I love you and because I hate seeing you with that snake’.
“N-no, of course not Jay how can you think that?” You replied, moving closer to him and taking his hand in yours, instantly feeling a rush of shivers running down your spine. He glanced at your clasped hands and then at you, with an expression you couldn't quite read.
“I… I don't know,” he sighed, his hand caressing the back of your hand, something he didn’t quite realize he was doing “I just… I missed you.”
If your heart was already broken, at this very moment it exploded into a thousand pieces of confetti and colors inside your chest. It was as if you had been punched in the stomach, the breath cut from your lungs. It was so good to hear him say it but so painful at the same time.
You wanted to yell at him to not to say it again, because you knew his ‘I missed you’ wasn't meant in the same way you missed him.
“I missed you too so much Jay,” you almost whispered, smiling at the same time to mask the sudden urge to cry. You let go of his hand, unable to maintain that contact anymore without your stomach doing somersaults. The absence of his warmth was immediately felt but you tried to remain as impassive as possible. “What happened? If you've come here at almost midnight it's because there's something wrong. Do you want to talk to me about it?”.
He nodded feebly, taking his gaze away from you to the ceiling. He was leaning back on the sofa, his head on it as his eyes roamed the white ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing on the planet, his hands folded on his stomach.
“Erin and I broke up.”
You’d imagined anything, a problem at work, maybe a family issue, anything else, but not the words that had just slipped from his mouth.
You couldn't hide the shock as your eyes and mouth opened wide and you even felt guilty for an instant when the only feeling you felt was… Relief, joy. “W-what? How? When? Why?” You bombarded him with questions “I'm sorry Jay,” but you weren't sorry about what had happened. You were sorry because seeing him like that was painful and you would’ve done anything to make him feel better, seeing his beautiful smile on his face.
He brought his eyes from the ceiling to yours, turning his head to the side to look at you. He didn't say anything, he just looked at you. For the second time since he came over, you couldn't read his gaze and you would’ve paid gold to know what he was thinking.
He was looking at you and you felt as if a rope had been placed around your neck and your grip tightened by the way your breath was cut in half. He looked at you with such an intensity as if he wanted to read your soul, analyzing every inch of your face at the same time and in that moment more than ever you wanted to shrink to such a point you’d disappear from his sight.
He looked at you as if he was looking at you for the first time and you felt vulnerable, exposed and while his eyes were chained to yours for an instant you feared he could find out about your feelings for him just by the was his eyes were piercing you.
It was you who looked away first, unable to maintain eye contact anymore and fearing you might say something stupid if you continued to stare at him for another few seconds.
Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it would stop any second as you kept repeating yourself to stay calm. The blush on your cheeks showed no sign of fading and you thanked God that the lights in the living room were off and that there was only the one on the TV which, however, didn't illuminate quite well your face.
The sigh Jay let out made you look up at him, noticing he was still looking at you. But when your eyes ended up on his again, he was the one to look away.
“Don’t need to be sorry,” he said simply and you nodded though he couldn't even see you, “She left.”
For the second time another wave of shock went through you and a thousand questions crossed your mind. You couldn't say you weren't sorry, you would’ve been hypocritical to say otherwise, but you wondered what the hell had happened. How did they go from being the happiest couple alive to her walking away? For what reason did she leave?
It wouldn't have surprised you at all if she was the reason for the breakup, you didn't know her well – you didn't want to – but based on what Jay told you, she had a habit of running away from every fight and problem that came up.
“She always does, doesn’t she? She will definitely come back,” you answered even as you prayed deep inside with every fiber of your being that it wouldn't happen. You knew you were selfish, he was hurting but damn it, you were human too and you couldn't mask what you didn't feel.
He shook his head slightly. “No, I don't think she will,” He lifted his head, sitting up straight and looking at you again. “And for what that matters, I don't even care if she comes back or not,” he paused again, thinking about his words “But, I don't want to talk about it.”
“Yeah sorry,” there was a moment of silence where you looked at each other again and the way he was looking at you was making your stomach twist like a contortionist “But just tell me how you are you feeling Jay, I hate seeing you like this,” and you were sincere, although you didn't like Erin, you wished nothing but happiness for Jay and seeing him like this made you feel as helpless as few other times.
“I'm fine now,” he replied and he really seemed to be sincere “Really, I feel… Relieved. I just needed to be with my best friend now. You made me worry so much you know that?”.
My best friend.
You tried to ignore the thud in your heart. “I'm really sorry Jay. It was such a hectic time between work I didn't have time for anything else. I'm sorry I wasn't around so much.”
He shook his head again, as if to tell you not to worry by smiling weakly and causing a feeling of warmth to spread through your heart. “What matters to me is that you’re okay I… I really missed you.”
-
The next day you went to work with the dark circles under your eyes reaching down to your feet. You only managed to sleep a couple of hours the night before, having spent most of the night talking to Jay.
God how much you loved that man.
When you were with him it was as if the world around you vanished and it didn't matter how long you lost touch or didn't speak to each other, the moment you’d meet again everything was back to the way it was before, as if time had never passed.
You found yourself talking late, losing track of time, laughing and joking as always and it was times like this that reminded you why you were in love with him. Jay didn't stop smiling even for a minute and seeing him so carefree, even if only for a while, was beautiful. He deserved to be happy, always.
You talked and talked and talked until you fell asleep on the sofa in each other's arms. Only when you opened your eyes you realized your head was resting on his chest and his arm was possessively encircling your waist. You stayed paralyzed for an instant, afraid to make any movement that might wake him up.
He must not have noticed it.
You cautiously sat up and then brought your gaze to him, letting your eyes wander over his relaxed features and you let yourself go for a moment to your fantasy. A fantasy where Jay being there next to you was normal, were you could wake up every morning in his arms as he tightly hugged you.
During your work shift you tried to keep your mind busy, focusing only on the calls and the patients you’d be treating.
Two days flew by like this, with Sylvie doing nothing but tease you about Jay after you told her what had happened. You omitted he and Erin had broken up, this wasn't about you and it wasn't your call to tell other people.
However, you hadn't heard from Jay for two days, he didn't text you or even replied to yours. Only then you understood how he must’ve felt when it was you who didn't reply to his text and you promised yourself you’d never do anything like this again.
You were scared to death because he didn't usually disappear like that, so suddenly, and given the nature of his work you couldn't help but imagine that something terrible had happened and the more time passed, the more this thesis was confirmed.
Of course, you knew he couldn't always answer the phone, and there had been other times when, for example, following an undercover operation you didn't hear from him for even a week but in those cases he did everything to warn you first, reassuring you’d see each other as soon as possible.
This time, however, you had a horrible feeling, a premonition that was sadly confirmed by Voight.
You were packing up the ambulance near the end of your shift when your cell phone rang and Sergeant Voight's name appeared on your screen. Your heart instantly skipped a beat and you instantly understood something serious must’ve happened for him to call you.
“Hello? Sarge?” you answered almost immediately.
“Hi kid,” his hoarse voice replied “I hope I’m not disturbing you. It’s about Halstead…”
You closed your eyes as if those words had caused you physical pain, as if someone had hit you in the face. All the colors disappeared from your face and anxiety twisted your stomach.
“What happened? Is he fine? Tell me he's okay please,” you spoke frantically, getting out of the ambulance and closing it “Where is he?”.
You heard Voight sigh on the other end of the phone. “He's fine now, he… He was kidnapped but we found him. We are at Med's. I wanted to tell you before you heard from someone else. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.”
You couldn't describe the horrible feeling that went through you hearing those words. It was like someone ripped your heart out of your chest clamping your lungs, you stopped breathing for a second and you didn't care how exaggerated that might be, but whatever happened to him you wished it was you on the hospital bed.
“I'll be right there,” you said and closed the call before waiting for Voight’s answer. You didn't even care about warning your boss, much less some of your colleagues watched you ran away like you were nuts, you just wanted to go to him, you just wanted to see him, make sure he was okay.
The car journey to the Med's was one of the most distressing and longest of your life. You nearly collided with other cars several times but at that moment the only thought that crossed your mind was Jay.
What had happened to him? Was it serious? Was he awake?
God please let him be okay.
You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. That wasn't the time to cry, to be weak, you had to be there for Jay.
You thought for a moment what would happen if… God, fuck, you didn't even want to think about it, you couldn't imagine it. You couldn't even think of not having him in your life, you couldn't imagine not being able to see him anymore, getting lost in his eyes, never hearing his laughter or seeing his radiant smile again. You couldn't even think you couldn't hug him when you were sad, stuff yourselves with food watching trash TV until a nervous breakdown.
You didn't even realize you were crying until you got to Med's and parked your car. You quickly dried your tears and ran to the hospital, where, in the waiting room, you found all of his colleagues. And by all of his colleagues, you meant everyone.
Erin Lindsay was there and her disgusted gaze was on you.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” she exclaimed approaching you threateningly. You didn't let yourself be intimidated, on the contrary, the mere tone of her voice made your blood boil in your veins. How dare she talk to you like that?
“Don't you even dare take one more step towards me. Move out to way, I’m here to see Jay,” you spat with venom as the others looked at each other unsure whether to intervene or not.
“Lindsay…” Voight called back, grabbing her arm but she jerked away from his grip, still glaring at you with contempt.
“Turn your ass and get the fuck out of here. I've had enough of you, I'm so tired of always having you around Y/N. Why don't you just understand he doesn't want you?!”.
“You seem to be very familiar with walking away and running away don't you? Isn't that what you always do huh? Avoid problems? You really got some nerve to be here after you left him,” you pointed a finger at her. “I'm not going to stand here and make you yell at me. You really want me to believe you care about him? You wouldn't even be here if he wasn’t kidnapped!”.
“I left him? Is that what he told you?” Erin let out a wry laugh “I can’t believe it. I really wonder what he saw in you. Seriously, look at yourself. You're so pathetic...”
A wave of anger shot through your body and before she could even continue her insults, your fist slammed into her face, causing her to flinch back. Everyone let out a verse of bewilderment, immediately intervening to separate you and Lindsay who were about to kill each other right then and there.
“Y/N! Fuck’s sake! Just calm down! Take it easy, it’s okay,” Kevin dragged you away, shaking you off your shoulders as if to bring you to your senses. You watched her walk away with Voight, one hand on her bleeding nose.
You knew the repercussions there would be but you couldn't care less because it felt so good. You've wanted to do this for so long, for the way she's always treated you, for the contempt she's always shown towards you.
“I'm calm, I'm okay,” you muttered, throwing your hands up in surrender and trying to ignore the pain in the hand you punched her with. “I'm sorry about this but… I have to…”
“I know that's not true,” Kevin chuckled “Go,” he nodded towards Jay's room and without having to repeat it twice you immediately went to him.
You entered the room and closed the door behind you, immediately glancing at the man lying on the bed and the sound of his heartbeats coming from the machine filled the silence.
Your heart broke into a thousand pieces as you saw his battered face, a purple bruise on his cheek, a cut on his eyebrow and and other one on the lower lip which felt deep and quite sore. But despite this he was still the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life.
You approached him, keeping as quiet as possible in an effort not to wake him up. He almost looked like an angel while he slept, as if nothing could hurt or disturb him at that moment.
You placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it with such delicacy and lightness you were almost uncertain of the contact. Your fingers ran through his hair, a gesture you knew he loved and made him relaxed.
Your eyes traveled down his chest and only then you noticed the white bandage that wrapped around his chest. You tried to keep from crying. You hated it, you hated he was suffering, you hated you weren't there with him to help him. Your heart was tightened even more as you noticed red marks on his wrists, some superficial and some a little deeper, a sign that he had been tied up.
“What have they done to you?” You whispered and your eyes were on his face again, continuing to run your fingers gently through his hair. “I'm so sorry Jay.”
You didn't know exactly what you were apologizing for, you just did.
You stayed next to him for an indefinite amount of time, you didn't look at the time but you understood that hours had passed when the sunlight was replaced by the darkness of the night.
Will tried to convince you to go home and rest and that he’d call you for any news but you refused, you didn't want Jay to wake up alone in that cold hospital room. You knew how much he loathed them and you wanted him to see a friendly face as soon as he opened his eyes.
The attempt of Jay's team was also useless, when they understood you’d never leave until he woke up, they recommended you to update them on any changes.
You spent hours sitting on a chair next to his bed until you too were asleep, your arms resting on Jay's legs.
When he opened his eyes he found himself plunged into darkness if it hadn't been for the dim light from the hospital chandelier. It didn't take him long to remember what had happened, what had led him to be there. He tried to stand up but an excruciating pain shot through his chest, forcing him to lay down again.
This and also the sleeping figure in front of him.
A small smile was born on his swollen lips as he watched you sleep sitting on the chair that seemed anything but comfortable. How long have you been there?
He raised a hand and didn't even have time to rest it on your arm before you snapped sitting, looking around panicked for a moment. Your eyes widened to see Jay in front of you with his eyes finally open and the joy you felt in that moment was like nothing else you've ever felt.
“Jay! Thank God you're awake!” You exclaimed and in the joy of the moment you hugged him, squeezing him harder than you should’ve and letting a small cry of pain escape him “Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you,” you pulled away from him “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Should I call Will?”.
Jay shook his head slightly, a small smile on his lips. “I am fine. Where is the bed remote control? I need to sit up.”
You quickly grabbed the remote from the nightstand next to the bed and handed it to him, watching as the back of the bed lifted and he settled into position so he could finally take a good look at you. “Come here, why are you so far away?” He patted the mattress and you didn't let yourself repeat it twice, sitting next to him.
“Voight called me…” you were the first to speak “But he didn't tell me what happened.”
Jay let out a sigh, flinching as a pain shot through his chest. “It was an undercover mission, nothing too difficult. I was supposed to exchange the money with the drugs and then arrest them. Easy,” he explained, “I don’t know how but someone of them found out I was a cop so they kidnapped me and as you can see they beat me up for the holidays.”
Your eyes filled with tears but that time you couldn't hold them back. You felt a whirlwind of emotions, fear, happiness, anxiety, relief and it was too much for you to hold back and you lowered your gaze to not let him see you.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Jay's voice came as a sweet melody to your ears “Please don't cry Y/N, I don’t like seeing you like this. It's okay now, I'm fine, it's going to take a lot longer for you to get rid of me,” he attempted to reassure you. “Come here darling.” His hands pulled you close as his arms wrapped around you in a warm hug. You hugged him back, being careful not to hurt him further, and let yourself go into a liberating cry, so grateful you still had the opportunity to be able to do this.
His lips kissed your cheek and your heart leapt in your chest at the contact.
God Jay you're killing me.
“I'm so sorry Jay, you shouldn't be the one to comfort me now,” you murmured, pulling away from the hug, still looking down. You grabbed a tissue off the top of the nightstand and wiped away your tears, still shaken from everything that had happened. You felt so selfish at the same time Jay was on a hospital bed and you were the desperate one.
“Y/N don't even say that as a joke. Look at me, please.”
You did as he told you and your eyes met his, triggering a sensation that was like being kicked in the stomach.
“I'm fine, okay? These are just bruises, they hurt but they will go away. I wish I could tell you it's the last time but I can't, it will happen again but I want you to know I’ll always find a way back to you, okay? I won't leave you alone.”
His words were like a snake venom and antidote at the same time.
“Jay… Please…” you whispered, tears still flowing from your eyes “Don't do this to me.”
A confused expression appeared on his face. “What do you mean?”.
You shook your head, as if trying to tell him it didn't mean anything. “I just… I was so scared Jay…I thought about losing you…”
Jay reached for your hand but a frown appeared on his face as he noticed, despite the dim lights, the swelling on it. “Y/N what the hell is this? What happened to you? Why is your hand like this?”.
Shit.
You withdrew your hand, moving your fingers slightly but not showing how sore it was. You had never thrown a punch before and never imagined how painful it was. “Nothing. I closed my hand in the car door on the way here, it's no big deal.”
You knew he’d never buy this excuse but it was worth a try.
“Do you really think I’m that stupid? Tell me the truth. Did someone hurt you?”.
You sighed. “You’ll hate me.”
Jay looked at you like you just sprouted a second head, really confused. “What? Why on earth should I hate you?”.
“I punched Erin,” you blurted out so quickly, wishing he hadn't heard you but when you saw his eyes widen so wide they almost popped out of their socket, you knew he definitely did.
“What? You really did it? Seriously?” He struggled to imagine that you could do something like that, you’d never hurt even a fly. “Why? Why happened?”.
“She started saying bad things to me and I got so mad so I just… Punched her,” you sighed “I didn't even realize it… I know I shouldn't have…”
Jay was silent for a moment, still unable to believe what you had just said. He knew there was bad blood between you and his ex-girlfriend but he never imagined you’d even punch her but he also knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that if you had come this far it was because you had a reason to.
“You hate me now right?”.
He shook his head. “Absolutely not Y/N. I mean, I don't like the idea of you going around punching people but I guess you had your reasons.”
You thought back to Erin's words and that was enough to make you angry again. She deserved it all right and you don't regret it even a bit.
“She's still your ex girlfriend…”
“I know.”
You noticed the way his expression didn't change a bit at the mention of her, he had no reaction. He was more worried about your hand then her. “You don’t care she was here?”.
He remained silent for a moment, observing you for a few moments and then shook his head slightly. “Not one bit, I told I wouldn’t care if she came back. I know it's a bad thing to say, but that's how it is.”
“But you were together until a few days ago how can you not care?” You were so confused.
“I’m the one broke up with her, after all. I think it's normal.”
It wasn’t but still.
It was your turn to widen your eyes and mouth in shock. Did you hear that right?
“What? Really?! I thought she was the one who left you.”
You never expected it, you really thought sue was the one who suddenly left him and not the other way around. You had so many questions to ask him but you didn't know whether to ask him or not, after all it was none of your business.
He nodded. “It wasn't fair to just go on with that relationship, not for me or for her.”
“And why’s that?” you asked, afraid to hear the answer. Your eyes were fixed on him and even with that little light they managed to shine and stand out. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought you were having a heart attack at any moment, the air suddenly became tense and every cell in your body seemed to be on fire.
“I…” he spoke “I have someone else in mind.”
Your pounding heart stopped for an instant and the thump in your stomach was such that you felt like you were about to throw up.
“Oh.”
That was all you could say. You tried to keep your expression neutral as if these short simple words hadn't hit you full in the face like a lorry. Being run over would’ve probably hurt less.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, biting the insides of your cheeks and pressing nails against your palms to avoid crying in front of him again.
You couldn't believe it, or rather, yes, you could believe it but you didn't imagine it would hurt so much. You couldn’t believe it was happening again. It was like Erin all over again.
Oh god no please, I can’t do this.
You wondered who she was. Was she someone you knew? He had never mentioned someone else yet you two talked about everything. Or almost everything.
You looked down rubbing your hands on your pants before standing up and walking over to the nightstand. Jay followed your movements with his eyes, watching you pour water into a glass before drinking it in one gulp.
“Do you want some?” you asked him, but without looking at him and keeping your eyes on the glass
“Yes, thank you,” he replied confused “Y/N… Are you okay?”.
“Sure,” you babbled as you grabbed another glass and poured some water into it. You handed it to him, never meeting his eyes. You couldn't look at him, not at the time. If you had done it you would’ve collapsed and you couldn't in front of him, you didn't want to.
He drank the water and the dryness in his throat finally went away, feeling suddenly better. He continued to look at you, noting how your head was turned towards the window.
“Y/N… Can you look at me please? What’s going on?” he pressed confused on your sudden change of mood.
You turned to him and gave him a quick glance, noticing the empty plastic cup in his hands. “Do you want some more?” You asked feebly as you reached up to him to take your glass but before you could pull away he grabbed your wrists, his grip both firm and delicate at the same time. You jumped, not expecting it, dropping the plastic glass on the floor.
“Look at me,” he urged but you refused, your eyes watering and the lump in your throat increasingly suffocating. A solitary tear slid down your cheek as he placed his thumb and forefinger under your chin, lifting your head and forcing you to look at him.
“Y/N talk to me please,” he whispered and his tone was so soft it was enough to send you over the edge. You lost control and started crying. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your body as best as he could.
“No… Just let me go...” you muttered through your tears, trying to escape his grip. You couldn't do this, it was too much for you, too much to bear. You just wanted to run away in that moment, to be away from him.
“Shh, it's okay darling, it's okay. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered in your ear as his hand stroked your back in an attempt to cheer you up. But he couldn't do it.
This was all so paradoxical. He was the only person on earth able to understand you, to make you feel better with a single hug and with the mere presence of him and it was paradoxical because, at the same time, he was also the cause of your suffering.
“N-no Jay…” you stammered, pulling away from his embrace “Please let me go. Don't do this to me. Stop doing this to me...”
You stood up and walked away from him, wiping your tears with the backs of your hands. “I can't take it anymore Jay, I can't do this again.”
“Doing what? Y/N please come here. Talk to me,” he begged you.
Is he serious?
You shook your head and wordlessly walked to the door to leave, but when you heard movement behind you you whirled around to see Jay taking off the covers from his body and climbing out of bed.
“What are you doing? No! Get back to bed,” you ordered, your cheeks still wet with tears, running towards him when his feet hit the ground and tried to get up. He grabbed your wrists again, pulling you towards him and placing you between his legs. “Jay…”
“Tell me what's going on and I'll let you go,” his voice was firm and decisive and his tone hinted he’d live up to his words even if it meant trudging all the way out of the hospital.
“Jay for fuck’s sake why can’t you just understand? You really don't see it? You really can’t see I can’t take all of this anymore? You really can't see how much I fucking love you and how much I care about you! I can't do it anymore Jay, I really tried with Erin… I tried to help you, to be supportive… I tried but I can't take it a second time… I can’t…” You blurted out in the heat of the moment but slapped your mouth with your hands as soon as you realized what you had just said. You wished a hole would open in the ground and the earth would swallow you alive.
Jay was looking at you as if he had just seen a ghost and the silence that had invaded the room was almost deafening. You didn't expect an answer, you knew he wouldn't say anything, but God it was so still painful.
“Y/N… I…” he stammered, speechless.
“Jay… Don't worry, seriously,” you interjected trying to keep your composure even if you were feeling a storm inside “I know you don't feel the same and it's fine, I'm sorry for telling you like this…” you croaked, your voice broken by tears “But now it's better if I go... You need to rest.”
The grip around your wrists loosened and you took the opportunity to free yourself away. You took a few steps back, your heart heavy as Jay continued to stare at you petrified.
You were about to leave when, suddenly and against all your expectations, you felt a hand on your arm that made you turn around and a pair of lips pressed against yours.
Your eyes widened in shock as your mind tried to process what was happening. Time seemed to stop and even though his lips were touching yours so lightly it felt like they were just caressing each other, it was as if a storm had hit you full blown.
That kiss was light, sweet, as if he was testing your reaction but when you closed your eyes and returned it, that lightness was immediately replaced by the determination with which his mouth moved against yours.
His hands were on your face as you both let go and for an instant you forgot about everything around you, that you were in a hospital room, that a minute ago you had confessed his love for him. You wanted that kiss for so long. For so long you watched him from a distance and imagined what it would be like to have his lips on yours and now that you were really feeling it, god, it felt like heaven.
No image created in your mind could compare to the flock of butterflies flying in your stomach, to the feeling that kiss made you experience.
It was like thunder hit you, like an explosion of rainbows, like being electrocuted, like being burned alive.
You wanted so badly to find the right words to describe what you felt but you just couldn't.
Jay slid his fingers from your cheeks through your hair, deepening the kiss more and more, forgetting the wound on his lip and all the pains that coursed through his body. Your hands clenched the hospital gown he wore into a fist, being careful not to touch him even though your mind was completely racing.
He was kissing you fervently now, passionately, as if his life depended on it, as if he wanted to suck your soul out of your body. And that was exactly how you felt. If you didn't know him better, you would’ve said he was kissing you as if he too had wanted it for a long time, as if he was trying to vent all the frustration that had accumulated over time.
When you pulled away you were both out of breath like after a marathon. His hands stroked your hair before brushing your cheeks as his thumbs traced imaginary circles on your skin. His nose kept brushing yours and you didn't know how you managed to stand, your legs feeling like jelly.
“You didn't ask me who she is,” he whispered and if he wasn't already hurt you probably would’ve punched him. How could he say such a thing? How could he kiss you and then say that?
“Jay what the fuck...” you tried to walk away but he interrupted you.
“Ask me Y/N. Ask me who’s the person I always have in my mind. Who is the woman I left Erin for.” His eyes kept alternating between yours and your lips trembling and flushed and a little swollen from that impetuous kiss.
“Fuck you! No, I don't want to know! How can you say this!”.
“Shh,” he smiled slightly as his thumb traced the outline of your lips. How could he smile in such a situation and be so heartless? “Please Y/N. Trust me. Ask me.”
“You are such an asshole Jay, I can't believe this…”
“It's you,” he cut you off again and you froze, not believing you heard right.
“W-what?”.
“It’s you. You’re the person who’s constantly on my mind, you are the one who invades my thoughts from the moment I wake up in the morning until I close my eyes at night. I couldn't continue with her, I tried, I tried to ignore it, but you were always there in front of me, always in my head even when you weren't there,” he confessed “When I realized you were the one I want, that it was you who made my heart beat more than anyone else ever did… Fuck, I can’t even talk with you looking at me like this,” he stopped, pressing his fingers on your skin, as if to vent the built up tension.
“I realized it was you when the thought of losing you terrified more than I could even admit, when seeing her didn’t make me turn my stomach or lose my breath like it happen with you,” he paused, taking a small breath, winching at the pain “I didn't know what to do, how to behave with you, I didn't know if you felt the same and I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship and losing you, I preferred a thousand times to have you only as a friend than not to have you at all in life. But, shit, I love you too so much you stupid…” he sighed, his confession heavy in the air and at that point the tears flowed like rivers down your cheeks which he quickly wiped away with his thumbs “It was always you, always and only you and I’m so sorry i realized it so late, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how you were feeling and made you suffer like that, I will never forgive myself for that. I don't want to see you cry anymore, I don't want to see a single tear come out of these beautiful eyes again, okay? I'm yours Y/N, if you want me I'll be forever and irrevocably yours.”
You didn't know what to say.
You didn't know what to do.
You have never been in such a state of total shock like in that moment.
A thousand questions crossed your mind but you couldn't find an answer to any of them.
“Jay,” you exhaled in frustration, still crying “I don't want to suffer, I don't want to go to sleep crying anymore, I'm so tired of this. I can't… I love you, god, how much I love you. You… You make me lose my mind, my heart goes crazy for you but I also know I don't want to suffer and even if I'm in love I don't want to keep my eyes closed and be naive,” you spoke, your eyes locked in his “You just got out of a relationship and I don't want to think I'm a rebound…”
“But you're not baby, I swear you will never be. You are all I want…” he urged “I left her because I want you Y/N.”
“Jay this doubt won’t make me live peacefully. The moment I’ll be in a relationship with you, I want us to start it without interruption, without risks, without fears, without ghosts of the past,” you retorted “You can’t imagine how many times I wished for this to happen, more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t want it to be like this, not when you got out of a relationship two days ago.”
“Then I'll prove it to you, I promise Y/N. I want you, only you, forever. I understand you're scared and I promise I'll do anything to make this fear go away, I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. I don't want to give up on you, not now that I know you feel the same. God I'd let you get into my head just to show you how much every single one of my thoughts are directed only and solely towards you.” He pulled your hands away from your cheeks just so he could intertwine his fingers with yours, bringing your hands up to your lips and kissing both of them, you eyes piercing your soul with their intensity.
“You’ll be mine, that's a promise.”
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So very simple request i guess how will MC take care of the M6 in day to day activities like by doing very random things say helping Nadia to dress up to picking flowers up for Muriel. Just random romantic tidbits that happen through out the day. Vice versa will be appreciated as well.
And this one is a separate but cuddles how do M6 and mc cuddle thank you for listening
The Arcana HCs: M6 and cuddles
~ this is exactly the comfort I need right now, I hope it gives all you lovely readers the same warm fuzzies it's giving me - brainrot ~
Julian
The developers once described his hugs as "all-encompassing" so you can bet his cuddles are too
Cuddles are a late night thing for him, his days are marked by feverish activity and the nights are when he's worn out enough to just. Breathe
He knows exactly how to use his long limbs. You're completely wrapped up in them
The type to sit in front of a fire with you on an old leather sofa with a wool blanket and hot drink
Maybe he talks, maybe you talk, maybe it's just quiet while he hums softly
He might doze off or start rambling poetically about all the things he loves about you
But mostly it's about taking the quiet time of the night to feel the rise and fall of his chest, his sharp chin resting on your head, legs twined with yours, perpetually cold long fingers wrapped around your hands while his breath ruffles your hair
Cuddles for him are full of hope, holding you close and looking forward to all the moments he has yet to share with you
Asra
They love cuddles. Cuddles happen whenever they are welcome and possible
Lunch break? Cuddles. No shop customers? Cuddles. Doing any mundane task in the same room? Cuddles
He generally runs warmer than you do, nothing makes him pout more than when it's too hot for prolonged physical contact
They may have learned several cooling spells to help with that
Cuddles with him feel like coming home, like slotting the last puzzle piece into place. As soon as you relax next to him it's like everything falls naturally where it should be
They are also the master of pillow piles
His favorite thing is lying half on top of you, where he can rest his head on your chest and hear your heartbeat. He can also put his arms around you this way so he stays between you and whatever shows up to disturb you
There's no better feeling than every muscle in your body slowly relaxing under their gentle weight, chaste kisses randomly pressed to your collarbones as they twine their fingers with yours and drink you in
Nadia
As much as she initiates intimacy, cuddles are quite foreign to her. Sitting quietly for long periods of time doing nothing but hold each other? Why?
Ohhhhh, emotional safety, that's why
This is new and uncomfortable, it's too vulnerable and it makes her eyes water
But now she feels safe for the first time in a long time, like there is nothing she needs to prove to be loved and accepted, and she's so close to you right now and it's so calm
Perhaps she can get accustomed to cuddles
Watch out once she does, because she's going to incorporate cuddling sessions with you into her self care routines
If you're busy she'll be understanding, but since cuddling is so good for both of you she won't let you go too long without it
She'll whisk you away to her tower, wrap you in the finest silk and lay you down on cushions stuffed with dried lavender
For her, cuddling is about trust. She'll recline facing you, noses touching, ankles locked, gently tracing the details of your face with a perfectly manicured finger so she can memorize it perfectly
Muriel
He likes cuddles. He does. But it's going to be months before he initiates them
He's unlearning his self-esteem issues, but he struggles to see how the physical presence he hates about himself could bring somebody else comfort
Which is why slowly watching you take comfort from him like that is so healing
Cuddles for him are about reclaiming his body. It's tentative, and a little scary, but the more he relaxes the more empowered he feels
And the more he can delight in seeing you content next to him
They normally happen early in the morning or as the sun is setting, when the world is peaceful
He'll lean back against the wall or a tree trunk and you'll clamber into his lap, positioning his arms around you and tucking your head against his chest while he slowly, carefully, cradles your head in his palm
These are the moments when his silence only communicates love, and he can let himself be seen and known by you without fear of judgement or harsh words
Portia
There are two types of cuddles with her: attacks and traps
Attack cuddles are loud and ticklish, and can happen at any time and in any place
You could be walking from one part of the palace to another, and she'll pop out of one of the many secret passages with just enough time to squeeze you and get her hair in your mouth before she disappears in a trail of giggles
Trap cuddles are saved for the evenings, when dinner is simmering on the stove and the day's business has been finished
You can see Pepi's habits in her mannerisms, the way she'll wait on the corner of the couch until you pass by so she can tackle you into the cushions
At first it's more like a wrestling match than anything else, she's busy pinning you so you can't escape
But once the struggle ends she'll be lying on top of you, heels kicking slowly in the air, eyes shining with triumph as she props her chin up on one hand and idly plays with your hair with the other
You'd better be ready to listen because this is when she unloads *all* the palace gossip
Lucio
He adores cuddles but he struggles to admit it at first
Him? Wanting simple cuddles? Without anything fancy or exciting or no wait come back cuddles sound wonderful right now don't leave you love him remember look his arms are open now -
You do remember, he's just really fun to tease
Cuddles happen post lunch, before the second wave of energy hits in the afternoon, when the sunlight is golden and your bellies are full and the shade is soft and welcoming
He likes it when the two of you curl up together in some moss, your packs under your heads and the dogs keeping watch
It's weird but in his goofier moods he'll put his head on your stomach and listen to your food digesting and try to mimick the funny noises it makes
He has to be extra careful of his gauntlet, but once he's as snuggled up to you as he can get it's worth it
Cuddles with him are about acceptance, learning to lie in silence without feeling guilty because he finally has someone to be a better man for
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woah-were-halfway-there · 7 months ago
Text
The Makeup
aka, The Fight: Pt. 3
a/n: alrightyyyy here's the last part of this bit of the series. i think after this i'll go back to writing the scare when little man is born and mia becoming a big sister if y'all are still wanting to read that :)
word count: 9.3k
“You’re sure you’re ok?” Lexie asked from the other end of the phone. “Do you want me to come to Toronto this weekend? We can do something fun. Get you out of Mitch’s condo and do something other than work.”
“Lexie, I’m fine,” Carson told her best friend while nodding a quick thanks to the Starbucks barista who handed her the drink she ordered. It was nearing the end of her lunch break at work, and this was her last stop before returning to the office. “You’re in Chicago, babe. You don’t have to come all the way here for me.”
“Carson, you’re not fine, so don’t even try to lie to me about it.”
Carson sighed and tried to keep her composure because she didn’t have it in her to cry again.
“I’m trying to be fine, Lex.”
It’d been 13 days since Carson and Auston's fight after she found out he’d been charged and tried keeping it from her. That also meant Carson had been staying with Mitch and Steph for 13 days, and it’d been 13 days since she last spoke to Auston.
Following the fight with Auston, Carson missed a couple of work days as her depression about the situation made her feel like she couldn’t get out of bed. By the end of the work week, she returned to the office only briefly but decided to take an impulse trip to Vancouver to see her dad and sister, Mya and get out of Toronto for a little bit as she navigated her feelings.
After returning from Vancouver three days later, things went back to normal for Carson. Well, as normal as they could.
She went back to work, all while acting like nothing was out of the ordinary and continued staying in the spare bedroom at Mitch and Steph’s place. But she still hadn’t talked to Auston about anything because she didn’t know how.
Carson’s friends and colleagues at work noticed something was up. Gone was the friendly, bubbly girl they came to know and loved having as a new addition to the office, as she became a much quieter and mopey version of herself. To them, it was apparent something had happened, but they didn’t want to overstep if she didn’t want to talk about it.
Two people in that office knew what was happening. Max and Tara worked directly with Carson on the same projects, and in the short month and a half Carson had been working there, she immediately clicked with them. They knew all about Carson’s relationship with Auston, having even met him in a non-work setting when the three of them went out for drinks, and he chatted with them for a little bit before driving himself and Carson home. They knew how absolutely in love Carson and Auston were with each other and how this fight affected Carson.
Max and Tara were Carson’s rock in the office, and despite feeling her chest get heavy while talking on the phone with Lexie, she knew they’d help her get through the rest of the day.
“I know you are, babe,” Lexie spoke softly and sighed, bringing Carson back to reality. “I’m just worried about you. And I miss my best friend.”
“I know, and I appreciate you,” Carson told her honestly. “I miss you too, so freaking much. But I don’t want you to come here while I’m like this. I know you’ve seen me in a worse state, but I’m just trying to decide what I want to do about everything with Auston. This is fucking hard.”
“I still want to give Auston a piece of my mind, but for your sake, I won’t. At least not yet. Have you thought about reaching out to him so you can talk?”
“Of course I have. I miss him, Lex—more than I can explain. I miss him, our conversations, our routine, talking with his family, and the feeling of safety I had being with him. But whenever I think about any of that, I think about how he kept such a big thing from me, and it hurts. I almost cracked and told him I was at the game last week, but I knew he’d want to talk afterwards, and I chickened myself out.”
“I understand,” Lexie sighed again. “But Carse, I’m going to give it to you straight here, okay? If you don’t want to fix things, let Auston know. You also gotta let him know if you want to figure things out. It’s been two weeks, babe. As mad as I am at him for hurting you, I know this entire situation is killing him, too, and I really think he deserves to know where you stand.”
Carson took a moment to respond but slowly nodded her head as she entered the front doors of her office building.
“You’re right,” she agreed. “He’s given me space and been patient. I feel like I’ve been stringing him along, making him wait so long and in the dark. God, I just wish none of this happened.”
“I know, it sucks. But you’ll figure it out, babe. You always do.”
“Thanks, Lexie,” Carson responded and took a deep breath. “I plan on figuring it out soon because I’m over feeling like this. But anyway, I’m almost back in the office, so I've got to go. Love you. I’ll text you tonight.”
“Love you too, girly,” Lexie said. “Keep your head up, and I’ll talk to you later. Bye!”
“Bye!”
Just as Carson hung up her phone and slid it back into her bag, the elevator door opened, and she quickly scanned her pass so she could be taken up to her office floor.
Once she was back at work, Carson was greeted by her coworkers as she passed them and headed toward her office. After she set her bag and iced coffee on the desk, her computer lit up and showed the time. She still had 20 minutes before her lunch was officially over, so she decided that was enough time to eat the last bit of food she had in the fridge.
Max and Tara were still in the breakroom when Carson entered, and she couldn’t help but smile at how it was just the three of them there.
“Carson!” Max greeted her excitedly and waved her over. “You have good fashion taste. Tell me what you think of this sweater. Tara thinks it’s too extra.”
“Let me see,” Carson replied as she grabbed her container of strawberries and joined the other two at the table. Once she was sitting, Max handed her his phone, showing a tie-dye sweater from a website he was looking at. “I like it. Auston has a similar one-.”
Carson immediately cut herself off and shook her head, taken back by her comment. In the last two weeks, she’d only mentioned Auston when talking about what happened. She hadn’t mentioned him in general conversation like she always did before their argument, which didn’t go unnoticed by Max and Tara as they sent each other knowing glances, and Max slowly took his phone back from Carson.
“Well, I doubt something like that would look as good on me as it does on Auston,” he said. “He looks fine in just about anything.”
“Oh, would you stop talking about her man like that? Go find your own to thirst over,” Tara scolded before glancing sideways at Carson and noticing she wasn’t reacting to what they were saying. “Speaking of Auston…”
“Hmm?” Carson hummed, zoning back in on what they were saying.
“Auston, babe,” Max spoke bluntly but softened his voice when Carson looked at him sadly. “Still nothing, huh?”
“No, we haven’t talked,” Carson replied, then stared down at her strawberries, suddenly losing her appetite.
Max and Tara looked at each other again and sighed, knowing full well the toll this was taking on their friend.
“I see you put your necklace back on,” Tara said, nodding to the designer white gold chain around Carson’s neck. “That was a gift from Auston, right?”
“Yeah, it was,” Carson explained as she gently brushed her fingers against the two bands that linked together in the middle, making her love necklace. “He got it for me when I graduated in June. I’d only ever taken it off to have it cleaned before I took it off after our fight. Not having it on felt weird, so I dug it out of my bag to wear it again.”
“I need a man who gifts me, Cartier,” Max tsked, hoping to ease the mood, but regretted it when Carson remained silent. “Carson, honey, is there anything we can do to help?”
“We hate seeing you like this,” Tara added, leaning over to squeeze Carson’s hand. Max quickly joined and placed his hand on top of both of them.
Carson relaxed at their gesture and smiled.
“Sorry, guys,” she responded and took a breath. “Unfortunately, I don’t think much can make me feel better until I talk to him.”
“Understandable,” Max told her with a soft smile. “But also don’t be hard on yourself for taking the time you need to figure out what you want to do.”
“Exactly,” Tara agreed. “If Auston were remotely the type of guy he’s always seemed to be to us, he’d be okay with you taking your time regardless of how he’s feeling.”
“You two always know what to say to make me feel better,” Carson smiled and squeezed both of their hands. “Thank you.”
“We got you,” Max stated.
“Always,” said Tara, patting Carson’s hand before pulling away. “We’ll let you eat your strawberries in peace.”
“OK, guys, I’ll see you out there.”
“And you better actually eat them, or we’ll have issues,” Max threatened as he pushed in his chair and sent Carson a slight glare before following after Tara.
Carson just shook her head as she watched them go, then glanced down at her strawberries again before picking one up and popping it into her mouth.
About 10 minutes later, Carson’s lunchtime was almost over. She stood up from the table and went over to the sink to rinse out her now empty container before heading back to her desk to prep for the remainder of the work day. However, just as she was about to exit the breakroom, she almost ran right into someone.
“I’m sorry,” Carson stammered as she stepped back and looked up to make eye contact with Spencer, another of her coworkers.
“It’s quite alright,” Spencer replied and smiled charmingly. “How are you, Carson?”
“Oh, uh, I’m alright, thanks. How was your weekend?”
“It was good, pretty uneventful.”
Spencer was nice. He had been nothing but friendly toward Carson since she started working in the office, but something just put her off about him. Spencer’s condo wasn’t far from the one she shared with Auston, and for a reason, Carson didn’t understand; he drove to work almost every day and always offered her a ride. Their office was located downtown. Therefore, driving wasn’t always necessary, but Carson would’ve been lying if she didn’t appreciate those rides on days she was running late or the weather was bad.
However, something still rubbed her wrong with him. Spencer was charismatic, meaning he was very good at conversing. He had a way with words and could chat with anyone about anything. But, he also made many comments that had Carson pausing, feeling as though he was hitting on her, which she’d always responded to, making it known she was in a relationship.
Spencer knew she was in a relationship, but there were still times he tested those boundaries, and Carson hated it. She didn’t think this would be one of those times.
“That’s nice,” Carson told him with a smile and internally hoped the conversation would end there. “Anyways, I should probably get back to my desk.”
Carson nodded, and Spencer did the same back, but before she could walk around him, he spoke up again.
“Wait, Carson, before you go, I was hoping I could ask you something.”
“Oh, sure, of course. What’s up?”
“Are you free to get drinks with me today after work?” He asked, making Carson go stiff.
“As colleagues?” Carson hesitantly asked, but she knew better. She was sure Spencer’s intentions weren’t just friendly, but that was a boundary she needed to set.
“I was thinking it could be more like a date if you’re interested.”
“Spencer, no. I have a boyfriend. I’m not interested in you like that at all. I’m sorry.”
Spencer’s entire demeanour changed at that.
“I see,” he said and adjusted his posture, looking slightly more intimidating. “I thought you and the hockey player broke up.”
“I- no, we’re still in a relationship,” Carson explained, despite feeling a little unsure. She and Auston were still together, right?
“You stopped mentioning him, and I noticed you turned the pictures of the two of you on your desk around, so I figured you called it quits.”
There was something about his tone that Carson didn’t like. Maybe it was ignorance. Perhaps it was arrogance. Either way, though, it pissed her off.
“We didn’t break up,” Carson confirmed out loud, mainly to reassure herself. “Things are… rough right now. But we’re still together.”
Spencer scoffed.
“I doubt this will be the only time he hurts you, Carson. Maybe you’re just too naive to see that.”
“And maybe you’re just a dick who made an assumption and then got his ego hurt by a girl who is not and will never be interested in him.”
Spencer blinked, surprised at how she snapped at him, but didn’t say anything.
“This conversation is over,” Carson continued, seething. “But before I go, just know that if you attempt to corner me or anyone in the office like this again, I’ll ensure HR knows all about it.”
Nothing else could be said, so Carson stepped around him and wasn’t stopped.
Part of her wanted to cry as she beelined for her office. She was annoyed and frustrated with the situation, but one thought was prominent in everything she felt: her desire to talk to Auston.
The remainder of Carson’s work day went by quickly despite an anxious nagging feeling she had. Spencer kept his distance while Max and Tara promptly addressed the tension between him and Carson, but not in a way Spencer would hear it. Tara immediately messaged in the group chat with Max and Carson, asking what happened, which Carson filled them in on. She ended the conversation by admitting that the ordeal with Spencer made her want to talk to Auston because she hated not knowing where they stood.
Carson then internally admitted that although she was still hurt and upset with Auston, she still loved him and wanted to be with him. But she didn’t know how to go about it. For all she knew, Auston thought she was overreacting and didn’t want to wait for her to come back around. Of course, she didn’t want to believe that could happen, but Carson’s brain could be so damn mean to her sometimes.
But that’s what she needed to remind herself. Her brain was just mean. There was no way for Carson to know the future of her and Auston’s relationship if she didn’t talk to him. It wasn’t fair to Auston or herself to make assumptions and let that scare her away without first talking to him about it.
Her mind was scrambled, so Max and Tara convinced her to leave the office early and have time to collect her thoughts in a place that wasn’t the office. Carson was hesitant to leave early, but she had completed everything she needed to do that day before her lunch break and got a head start on some other things despite feeling all jumbled. About an hour went by, and she was still on the fence about leaving, but that changed when Spencer went to the photocopier that directly viewed Carson’s office despite a different photocopier being closer to the break room and his office.
Carson went stiff when she saw him walk by and didn’t miss the way he looked into her office as he went. He said nothing, but Carson was not up for playing any of his petty little games. So, after sending a message to her supervisor explaining all the work she’d completed that day and asking if it was alright if she went home early, Carson wasted no time packing up her things and leaving the office once told it was okay to leave. She didn’t even look in Spencer’s direction as she stormed out of her office, only stopping to say bye to Max and Tara and waving at those she passed on her way out.
When Carson arrived at Mitch and Steph’s condo, it was quiet. She knew Steph had things to do that day, meaning her friend probably wasn’t home, but she wasn’t sure about Mitchy.
The Leafs played against St. Louis that night, so it was likely that her cousin was home having a pregame nap before he had to get ready to go to the arena. Carson glanced at her watch to see it was nearing three in the afternoon. Therefore, it’d be odd if Mitch wasn’t home, so she tried her best to be quiet as she took off her heels before heading to the guest room to put her work things in there and maybe watch a show. However, she didn’t make it far when a familiar brown lab entered the hallway and rushed toward her excitedly.
“Hi, Zeusy boy,” Carson quietly greeted the dog as she crouched to his level and scratched behind his ears. “Is your dad sleeping?”
“Nah, I’m right here,” Mitch said as he entered the hallway. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, and his hair was dishevelled, showing that he had been lying down.
“Shit, I’m sorry, Mitchy. Did I wake you up?”
“No, you’re good. I was just scrolling on my phone. You’re home early, though. Everything alright?”
“Uh, yeah,” Carson mumbled as she stood back up and smoothed her blouse. “I finished all of my work early and have a really good start on the stuff I have to do for the rest of the week. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind. I know I’m not in the office for the rest of the week now because my boss is away, but I didn’t want to be there anymore today. ”
“I see,” Mitchy responded, then narrowed his gaze at his cousin, knowing something was bothering her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Of course, she wanted to talk to her twin about everything bugging her, but Carson didn’t want to bother Mitch with her problems.
“No, no, it’s ok. You have to start getting ready soon anyway. I think I’m just going to curl up and watch a show. Have a chill night in.”
“Carson.”
The look Mitch gave her as he crossed his arms showed that he wasn’t impressed by her answer, which made Carson sigh.
“Fine,” she huffed. “Let me change into something comfy, and then I’ll tell you.”
Mitch smirked at her triumphantly before calling for Zeus to follow him to the living room, and Carson went to the guest room. A few minutes later, she emerged in the hallway again wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, then made her way to the living room and curled up on the couch next to her best friend.
Carson spent the next few minutes telling Mitch what happened with Spencer at the office, including the back story of how he’d been flirty before despite knowing she was in a relationship. She then explained what Spencer said after she turned him down and what was on her mind afterwards.
“First off, fuck that guy,” Mitch said once Carson finished her spiel.
“I know, he sucks,” Carson agreed, then took a sip of the water bottle Mitch had grabbed for her.
“I’m glad you put him in his place, but it wouldn’t hurt to report him to HR or something, Carse.”
“I know, I’m going to tomorrow. I don’t want him to make anyone else in the office feel like I did today.”
“Good,” Mitchy replied, nodding his head, then stopping and glancing at his cousin again. “And you think you want to talk to Auston again now?”
Carson sighed.
“Yeah, I do. I miss him, Mitchy, and I need to know where we stand. It’s just frustrating because I still don’t know what I feel or what to do, but I know I need to talk to him. How is he? Is he good?”
“Matts? I mean, yeah, he’s alright. Same old now that the season has started. Not much else is going on at the moment. He asks about you a lot, though. Every day I see him, actually. He misses you too, Carse. I don’t want you to think he doesn’t. But, you gotta do what you think is best for you.”
“But I don’t know if what I want is what’s best for me,” Carson stressed, pushing her hair away from her face as she inhaled. “And that’s the thing. Can I trust Auston again after keeping such a big thing from me? I may have never known if the media didn’t get their hands on the information. Although part of me wishes I was as oblivious to the fact as I was two weeks ago, I still can’t believe it even happened and knowing that it did is a lot. But this is something I’d want to know. I just- how many other significant things hasn’t he told me? Is it too naive of me to want to think he wouldn’t keep something like this from me again?”
“It was extremely dumb for him not to tell you,” Mitch started. “It was even more ridiculous for him to do what he did, whether it was a drunken mistake or not. I will say, though, Auston seems to be learning from it. He’s trying, and that’s really all anyone can ask for. Of course, it doesn’t improve the situation, but he’s being cooperative. And I know one thing he really wants to fix is his relationship with you as he navigates moving forward from this. However, if you don’t think that’s best for you, you’ve gotta listen to that. I can’t see you tearing yourself up because of a relationship again, Carse. I’ve already made Auston clear of my feelings about the situation, and we’re okay now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to say, ‘Yes, you two should figure things out and not break up.’ I love you and Auston together and am always rooting for you guys, but I’ll always care most about your happiness. You’re my best friend. And if you think Auston is who will still make you the happiest, you can’t let anyone make you think otherwise. If you can forgive him, great. But if not, I’ll still be in your corner and we’ll figure it out.”
Carson stayed silent for a moment, processing Mitch’s words. She inhaled deeply, reached up to wipe away a tear that broke free from her watering eyes, and then sniffled before looking back at her cousin.
“I wish I knew what to do, Mitchy. I wish I could go back to him and not be afraid he’d hurt me like this again. And I know I may have overreacted when all of this happened, but it was like being slapped in the face. I was blindsided, and now I feel like I’m in a hole. I don't know how to escape.”
“I know,” Mitch told her softly. “But I think you gotta do what you told me when we started this conversation, and that’s talk to Auston. You won’t know what you want regarding your relationship with him if you don’t.”
“You’re right,” Carson agreed. “I just have to build the courage to reach out to him. It should probably be soon, though, huh?”
“Carson, let me tell you it has been so pathetic seeing him mope over you,” Mitchy stated, making Carson cover her mouth, attempting to hide her chuckle. “Like good, he should know he fucked up, but Auston is so miserable because he misses you, and I can’t even tease him about it because the nice guy in me doesn’t want to make him feel worse.”
“Wow, how considerate of you,” Carson teased while Mitch nudged her with his shoulder. Carson pushed back, but soon enough, they stopped, and Carson leaned her head onto her cousin's shoulder. “Thanks for always looking out for me, Mitchy.”
“Gotta make sure my twin is always okay,” he responded, leaning his head against hers. “Like your mom used to say, it’s the two of us against the world.”
“It is. And I’m lucky to have you as my best friend backing me up every step of the way.”
“You really are stuck with me.”
“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Carson chuckled, then sat up again so she could look at Mitch. “But, you need to start getting ready, or else you’ll be late.”
“Shit, you’re right,” Mitch stated, quickly getting off the couch to gather his things. “You’re coming to the game tonight, no?”
“I don’t think so, Mitchy. I’m going to watch from here with Zeus. I don’t want to be back there just yet.”
“OK, fair. You’re welcome to join us after the game, though. Steph will want you there. I can give you a heads up if Auston comes out or not, too.”
“I appreciate it, but I’m ok,” Carson insisted. “I think I’m going to watch the game from here and think about what to do.”
“Alright. Promise to update me if anything happens or you decide you do want to come out?”
“I promise. Now go get ready.”
Mitch was ready and out of the condo within half an hour. Once he was gone, Carson put on Netflix and watched an episode of her show with Zeus before Steph got home. She was in a rush, too, having to get ready since she was going to the game that night with some of the other girlfriends. She tried multiple times to convince Carson to join her, but Carson was adamant about having an evening to herself, which Steph respected.
“I know you don’t want to come, but you’re sure there’s nothing I can do before I leave?” Steph asked as she battled with zipping up one of the tall boots she decided to wear that evening.
“I’m sure, Steph. You and Mitch have done enough for me,” Carson told her. “Go have fun tonight.”
“I’d have more fun if you came with me,” the blonde pouted, making Carson roll her eyes and smile at the dramatics. “But it’s fine, I’m fine. I’m sure Zeusy will love having you to hang out with.”
“The feeling is mutual.”
Carson then began scratching behind Zeus’ ears, which earned her a content noise from the chocolate lab before Steph spoke again.
“Ok. I’m going. You know to help yourself to any food or whatever, but please text me if you need anything or change your mind about coming.”
“You know I will,” Carson told her honestly. “I’ll watch from here and see you when you’re back tonight.”
“Ok, ok, I won’t press you anymore,” Steph said as she came over to give Zeus some love before leaving. “Alright, actually going now. Love ya!”
“Love ya too, have fun!”
And with that, it was just Zeus and Carson watching another episode of her show before it was game time.
Soon enough, the game started, and Carson hated that seeing Auston on the TV screen was still enough to feel a pang in her chest, but there was no arguing, just how much she missed him. As the game went on, Carson found herself paying more attention to Auston whenever the camera showed him than she did to the actual game, and before she knew it, the game was over.
The Leafs lost to the Blues, but Carson kept the channel on as post-game media started. She watched Will and Freddie do interviews and then felt her breath hitch when Auston came on the screen again. Hearing his voice answer questions about the game really hit her. It’d been almost two weeks since she last heard it, yet it still soothed her. She watched the entire interview, noticing how, along with the silver chain Auston wore around his neck, he was also wearing the Cartier love necklace that matched the one she wore. Both pieces of jewelry peaked out from Auston’s shirt, but when reporters kept bombarding him with questions, Carson noticed how he reached up to fiddle with the love necklace, gently rubbing his thumb over the two circles that linked in the middle.
It was then Carson decided she needed to talk to him as soon as possible. She wasn’t beating around the bush anymore; she knew they needed to speak, and there was no point in pushing it back then chickening out. But, as she waited to reach out to Auston, hoping he was home, her nerves returned, and she started convincing herself it wasn’t a good idea.
Carson’s heart pounded as she glanced at her phone again from where it lay between her and Zeus on the couch and debated what to do.
It was nearing 10:30pm. It had been over an hour since the game ended, and Carson knew Mitch and Steph wouldn’t return home immediately. Instead, they had plans to go out with some of the other guys and their girlfriends since the Leafs didn’t play for another few days. Mitch and Steoh invited Carson to join again, but she declined because she felt uncomfortable being the odd one out.
Carson didn’t know if Auston went with the group. There was a good chance that he did, and that was feeding into her debate about not calling him, but she wanted to. She needed to talk to him.
So, with a deep breath to calm her heart, Carson unlocked her phone. She opened the messages app and didn’t need to scroll to find her conversation with her boyfriend.
Carson felt like the wind was knocked out of her when she saw Auston’s name with the red heart emoji beside it and the photo of them in Arizona that past summer set as his contact picture. That feeling didn’t go away as she glanced at the text thread between them.
Despite not properly talking for almost two full weeks, Auston still messaged her every one of those days since their fight, saying that he loved her, missed her, was sorry and hoped she had a good day. The day after their fight, he still tried calling in hopes that Carson would pick up, but during his talk with Mitch, he was reminded that his constant calling was a bit overwhelming for her as she navigated her feelings about the situation. So, Auston opted to send texts.
Carson didn’t read or respond to any of those texts when she received them, but she found comfort as she scrolled through and read each one at that moment. In the days following their argument, she didn’t know what to think or feel, but receiving those texts made her feel normal. They were part of her routine, and although it was hard for her not to read them or respond, Carson thought she couldn’t until she knew what she wanted to say. Auston continued to send those messages despite her ignoring them, showing that he still cared and was willing to be patient with her like he always had been for the entirety of their knowing each other.
This was why Carson decided it was her turn to be patient with him and hear him out in a calmer setting than the last conversation they had almost two weeks prior. So, with another deep breath, she tapped his name at the top of the screen and hit the call button when it popped up.
It didn’t even take two full rings for him to pick up.
“Carse?” Auston’s voice sounded through the phone, making Carson’s breath hitch again. God, she missed him so much.
“H-hey,” Carson stammered before pausing in an attempt to recollect herself. “How are you?”
“I, uhm, I’m okay,” he responded, sounding surprised and as if he was still processing that he was talking to her. “Busy with hockey stuff, same old. How are you?”
“I’ve been better, and I’m sure you are. I still can’t believe you’ve got that ‘A’ on your jersey now, Aus. You deserve it. I was so proud seeing it for the first time in person during the home opener.”
“You were at that game?”
Carson nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.
“Yeah,” she almost whispered. “Mitch and Steph were trying to convince me to go 'cause I was originally going to watch from their place, but I didn’t decide until the last minute to actually go. So, I bought a ticket and went alone.”
“I wish you had told me,” Auston told her softly, which pulled on her heartstrings. “I would’ve wanted to know that you were there.”
“I know, but I didn’t know how Auston. Just seeing you out there made me so happy but so sad at the same time.”
Auston sighed at that.
“Carson, please know how sorry I am. I’ve spent the last two weeks beating myself up so much over this, and not saying I don’t deserve it, but fuck. I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too,” Carson admitted, deciding there was no need to hide her feelings from him.
“Is that why you called?” Auston asked, his voice a mix of unsureness and hopefulness.
“It is. I, um, I know it’s late, but are you home? Maybe I could come over, and we can talk.”
“Yes, please. I just got back. Please come home er-, I mean over. Do you want me to pick you up?”
“No, it’s okay,” Carson responded quickly, not wanting to be in such close proximity to him until she was at the condo. “Thank you, though.”
“Then, at the very least, let me order an Uber over here for you,” Auston suggested, not missing a beat.
“Auston, you don’t have to do that.”
“I insist. Please let me order it. I’d feel better if I could make sure you get here safely. Would they be picking you up from Mitch’s?”
“Ok,” Carson sighed in defeat. “And yes, it’s just Zeusy and me here.”
“Ok, perfect,” Auston said. “It says they’ll be there in five minutes. Is that too soon?”
“No, that’s great. I’ll put on my shoes and head downstairs.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”
“Love y-,” Carson started but immediately cut herself off, then internally cursed herself because who was she kidding? Of course, she still loved him. “I’ll see you soon. Bye, Auston.”
Once she hung up the phone, Carson wasted no time getting off the couch and rushing to the front door to get her sneakers on.
“I’m sorry, Zeusy,” Carson muttered to the lab, who was rudely awoken from his slumber when she stood up but was still happy as he trailed after her. Zeus looked up at her expectantly, thinking he was going outside with her, and Carson felt terrible for leaving him behind, wasting no time to crouch down and pet him after her sneakers were on. “I know. I’m the worst for not taking you outside again, even though I did an hour ago. But how about I give you a treat? Will that make up for it?”
Zeus’ tail started wagging at that, so Carson quickly stood up straight again and ran into the kitchen to grab him a treat. Then, with one final pet goodbye, she rushed out the door.
As Carson waited for the elevator, she texted Mitch and Steph to tell them she was going over to Auston’s to talk because she knew they’d come back wondering where the hell she had gone otherwise. Both were quick to text back.
“Good luck, babe. Let me know how it goes,” read Steph’s message.
“Are you sure? Are you staying there? I’ll wait up so you can tell me what’s going on,” Mitch texted back, making Carson smile at the difference between the two messages. They both cared but in very different ways.
She messaged them each back, saying she’d keep them posted, then entered the elevator and went to the lobby. Upon seeing her reflection in the mirror that covered the elevator wall, Carson made an unimpressed noise. The thought of changing hadn’t even crossed her mind as she rushed out of Mitch’s condo, but she sure didn’t love that the first time she talked to Auston in person in two weeks, she’d be wearing an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Carson quickly reached up to take her long brown hair out of the messy bun it was in and tried to make it look presentable, but then remembered Auston wouldn’t care about her looking like that. He’d seen her in similar outfits over the almost three years they’d been in a relationship.
Carson knew she didn’t need to impress him but still wished she looked a little better than she did.
Once the elevator reached ground level, Carson inhaled as she stepped off and entered the lobby. Her phone buzzed with a text, and she was half expecting it to be Mitch or Steph, but it was Auston letting her know the details about the car that was picking her up. Carson replied to his message this time and let him know she saw the car was waiting outside. Auston asked her to tell him when she was in the car and when she got to their condo so he knew everything was alright, and Carson promised she would.
When she entered the Uber waiting outside, the driver expressed his surprise after Carson confirmed they were picking up a rider named Auston.
“Not going to lie, I thought I was picking up Auston Matthews, the Leafs player, for a minute when I saw the name,” the driver explained, and Carson had to contain the smile she felt tugging at her lips.
“No, sorry, just me,” she responded, chuckling but not telling them she was indeed on her way to see the Auston Matthews.
“That’s alright, maybe another time,” the driver teased, then turned their focus back to the road as they drove.
It was a short drive. In all honesty, Carson had walked to and from the two condo buildings many times before, but with it being so late, she didn’t want to be out walking alone. She also knew that if she’d even mentioned the thought of walking, Auston would’ve shut the idea down immediately. The Uber driver didn’t ask questions about the short trip either and made small talk, ironically about the Leafs, since that was the first thing they and Carson had discussed.
A few minutes later, after thanking her driver and getting out of the car, Carson was standing outside the condo building that she began calling home a little over a month prior. Another wave of nervousness hit her, but she quickly shook it off as she entered the building.
She got into the building easily, still having her keys and fob to allow her access. The concierge at the front desk recognized her, nodding and smiling as she walked by and went straight for the elevator to take her to her and Auston’s floor.
Carson almost walked right into the condo out of force of habit once she arrived at the door. However, her nagging thoughts made her stop just before she could and opted to knock instead. It didn’t take long for Auston to open the door.
He looked good, really good. He was clad in a simple outfit, a black Raiders sweater and a pair of grey sweatpants that Carson always complimented on how good they made his butt look. His hair was a little damp still from his postgame shower, and a shadow of a beard was growing, showing it’d been some time since he last shaved. Carson stood there in silence momentarily, just taking in being in the presence of her boyfriend once again.
“Hey,” Auston spoke up, snapping Carson from her trance. She didn’t realize how tense she was until she felt herself relax just by being so close to him again.
“Hi,” Carson replied, her voice already cracking. Tears immediately pooled in her eyes, suddenly reminding her of all the emotions she’d felt since the last time she and Auston spoke.
“Oh, Carse.”
It didn’t require any thinking. The moment Auston saw those tears, he stepped towards Carson and pulled her into his embrace. The gesture felt so natural. Carson immediately melted into his touch and wrapped her arms around his middle in a tight embrace while instinctively hiding her face against his chest, letting the familiar scent of his favourite body wash surround her.
“I missed you,” she whispered after the two of them stood there holding each other for a moment.
“I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, Carson,” Auston replied, not missing a beat while tightening his squeeze around her. “I don’t want to open my eyes right now because what if I do and you’re not actually here? And this was just a fever dream?”
Carson couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her mouth as she shook her head, still pressed against his chest, and then finally moved back and looked at him. Still, neither of them unwrapped their arms from around the other.
“I’m here. And we need to talk, Auston.”
“I know, I know,” Auston spoke softly as he finally let go of Carson, but only to reach up so he could cup her cheeks and use his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “God, I’m so happy to see you. But, you’re right. Let’s go inside so we can talk.”
Carson nodded in agreement and let her arms fall from Auston’s waist to her sides again, but Auston was quick to reach down his right hand and link it with her left hand, squeezing it after Carson intertwined their fingers, then leading her into the condo.
Once inside, Carson glanced around after she took her shoes off and walked further inside, not sure what she was expecting. Not a thing was changed. The same fluffy grey throw blanket she bought was still on the couch except instead of it being draped over the side neatly, it was bunched up and tossed to the side, indicating Auston had been using it. Her gaze then drifted to the walls and nearby bookshelf, which still had the same pictures of her and Auston and others of them with their friends and families displayed. On the bookshelf was her collection of books and trinkets she adored and the TV showed the paused episode of The Office Auston must’ve been watching when she called.
Carson felt at home again for the first time in two weeks and it was a perfect feeling.
“Uhm, can I get you water or anything?” Auston asked after a moment of observing Carson look around their living room, not missing how a small smile tugged at her lips as she did so.
“I’m alright, thank you,” Carson replied as she shook her arms so the sleeves of her sweater would fall since she’d pushed them up in the Uber. The sweater was large on her and it showed in the way the sleeves covered most of her hands. She then began to fiddle with and rub the hem of the sleeve between her fingers, something she tended to do when she felt uneasy or anxious. Auston knew that and wished she wasn’t feeling such a way, but mostly wished she didn’t feel that way because of him.
“Of course. Should, uh, should we sit?”
“Yeah, let's.”
The two of them made their way to the couch and sat down next to each other. It was a comfortable distance, but there was still a noticeable space between them which felt a thousand times bigger to Auston. He hated it. If it were up to him Carson would be right next to him with her legs over his thighs, both cuddled under the throw blanket as she told him about her day and he played with her hair while listening. He was yearning but was brought back to reality when Carson spoke again.
“I think you should start.”
“R-right,” Auston stuttered, shaking his little daydream from his head but not being able to hide how lost in his thoughts he got momentarily. However, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, he’d been thinking about it for almost two weeks. “You’re right. And I’m just going to start with how sorry I am, Carse. I’m sorry for what I did in Arizona and how it affected someone because of my ignorance and stupid drunk actions. I’m sorry that when me and you last talked, I didn’t take ownership of how I messed up. I know that what I did wasn’t ok. I wish I could take it all back. And I’m sorry that during all of this, I hurt you. I should’ve been honest with you about the charge as soon as it happened. It’s not an excuse, but I was embarrassed and didn’t want you to be ashamed of me. I told my family I would tell you, which is why they didn’t say anything, but I was a coward. It’s not that I didn’t trust you whatsoever, Carson. I trust you with everything I have, I was just stupid and thought I could ignore what happened. That it wouldn’t matter and I could move on with life normally. I should’ve known better. I made a huge mistake and I’m learning from it. I know I’m better than this, but I want to learn from it so I can move forward properly and nothing like this ever happens again. I don’t expect you to fully forgive me right away either, but you make me a better person. I know I can learn a lesson and grow from this. But, I really want you by my side as I do, if you’re still willing.”
Carson was so tired of crying, but she couldn’t stop the tears flowing as she hung on to every word Auston said to her. This conversation was already so different from the last one they had. She could tell the toll everything was taking on him and knew the weight of it all was crushing. But, he was taking full responsibility, seemingly accepting that this all happened on his own accord.
“I’m proud of you, Auston,” Carson spoke softly as she wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her sweater. “I feel like I’m having a conversation with a completely different person than I did two weeks ago.”
Auston felt good hearing that. During their fight, Carson voiced that she didn’t feel like she was talking to the man she loved. That, in that moment, he didn’t feel like home anymore to her, which hit Auston hard because Carson would always say it didn’t matter where they were as long as they were together, because he was her home. Hearing her say that was what pushed him over the edge that night truly realizing how badly he fucked up, but it was too late. Carson was already heading out the door and Auston couldn’t stop her.
“It shows me that you are learning from this and that’s really good,” she continued. “You owe that to that woman you distressed. But also the team, the fans, your family and yourself.”
“I owe it to you, too.”
“I appreciate you saying that, but this isn’t about me. However, that does lead me to talk about us.”
Carson paused to take a breath, already feeling herself get emotional again, but was soon met by Auston gently linking their hands together and stroking his thumbs over her knuckles. When she didn’t pull away, Auston gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.
“When I found out you kept something so significant away from me, I was hurt,” Carson said. “I felt betrayed, but also shocked because I never ever thought I’d feel the way I did and you being the one that caused it. I felt everything we built together, was a lie. Our castle was crumbling down because it seemed like you couldn’t trust me and I wasn’t sure I could trust you to not keep important things from me again. It was devastating feeling that way about the man I love more than anything in this world. We’re partners, Auston. And you didn’t treat me like one doing that.”
“I know, and again, I am so sorry, Carson. I never wanted you to feel that way and I feel terrible for being the reason you did. I-I can’t blame you for leaving,” Auston’s voice trailed off at the end of his sentence as he felt the words getting stuck in his throat. “Watching you walk out that door was one of the worst nights of my life. You’re my rock and suddenly that was gone and it was all my fault. I hardly slept not knowing when or if you’d come back, but I had to keep hoping, praying that you would. Part of me convinced myself Mitch was going to tell me that you weren’t coming back ever and I don’t know what I would’ve done if he did. I was a mess, I still am. These last two weeks have been hell and I deserved it. And I’m not saying this to guilt you into making a decision now, but Carse, if you did want to leave and not come back to this, us, I need to know. The not knowing is killing me. I don’t want to lose you, but I need to know if I have.”
Carson inhaled deeply again.
“The thing about these last two weeks, with how upset and angry I was at myself and you and the situation, not once did I think I no longer wanted to be with you. I love you, Auston. I knew I didn’t want to break up, but I wasn’t sure if staying in a relationship with you was what would be best for me. I fell into a depressive hole myself. I never thought I’d feel that low because of you and I wasn’t sure if I could forgive and move on or if this would have me feeling I could never trust you again. I can’t let myself get this destroyed by the person who is supposed to be my partner again, not after my ex. But, Auston, you are not him. You never will be him and that’s why, even with the space we’ve had since our fight, I knew I’d be coming back to you. I love you too fucking much to not even try to work through this and move forward together. I don’t want you to think we’re over because of this.”
Auston didn’t realize just how many tears had welled in his eyes until he let out a relieved sigh and smiled, allowing a couple of those tears to break free and stream down his face.
“You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that,” he said and squeezed her hands again.
“You have no idea how badly I needed to get that off my chest and actually tell you,” she replied and let out a small laugh at how emotional they both were. “God, we’re such messes.”
“I’ll accept being the biggest mess ever to exist if it means you’ll be by my side as I clean myself up.”
“Well, I can tell you that I’m not going anywhere. I mean it, Auston. You haven’t lost me.”
“Thank, God,” Auston sighed, feeling like so much weight had been lifted off his chest. “We’re good?”
“We’re good,” Carson confirmed, smiling as Auston let go of her hands and then held his arms out. She was quick to launch herself into his embrace and hold on for dear life while he fell back onto the couch cushion and she laid on top of him, feeling the safest and most content she had in weeks. “I’m glad to be home.”
“I’m never going to give you a reason to feel like you have to leave home again, Carse. That’s a promise.” Auston declared as he kissed the top of her head and started playing with her hair. “I love you, Carson.”
“And I love you, Auston,” Carson replied as she moved her head from Auston’s chest so she could look at him.
The two lay there for a moment looking at each other as Auston continued playing with Carson’s hair, debating his next move. He couldn’t help the way his gaze drifted to her lips, missing the way they felt against him so badly. He wanted nothing more than to cup her cheek with his hand and close the small gap between them with the kiss he craved. However, even though Auston knew he and Carson were good, he also knew they weren’t back to normal. Things being normal again would take time and Auston was ok with that. It didn’t matter how much time it may take because he had his love back and he wasn’t going to take any chances with anything that could push her away again.
Much to Auston’s pleasant surprise, though, Carson was the one to delicately place her hand under his chin and tilt it up before crashing her lips against his in a sweet, intimate kiss.
As soon as their lips met, Auston deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arm around her and rolled them over so that Carson’s back would be on the couch and he was on top. He used one arm to hold himself up and keep most of his weight off of her while his other hand cupped her cheek and jaw to prevent the kiss from breaking, finally getting what he had spent the last two weeks yearning for.
After a few moments of kissing, they pulled away to look at each other and laugh at how out of breath they both were. But that didn’t stop Auston from leaning in and stealing one more kiss.
“Will you stay over tonight?” He asked softly, not wanting her to feel pressured if she wasn't ready to come back home fully yet. “It’s an off day tomorrow and Mitch mentioned you weren’t going into the office, we could go get your work stuff from his place in the morning then come back here and have a lazy day together. Only if you want to, of course.”
“I would love that,” Carson replied, then pecked his lips again. “Let me tell Mitch and Steph I won’t be back tonight first, then can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.”
“Of course, beb.”
After they untangled themselves from each other and Carson texted Mitch and Steph to say she was staying, she and Auston turned off the lights before heading to the bedroom together. Carson felt so good after changing into a pair of her pyjamas she grabbed them from the dresser and then crawled into her bed after a long, almost two weeks. The best part, though, was being back in that bed with Auston. He felt better too having Carson in his embrace again as he fought to stay awake, wanting to make sure she fell asleep first. Once she did, Auston let his tiredness take over him too and both he and Carson had one of the best sleeps of their lives, together again.
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whateverisbeautiful · 10 months ago
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♥️ Ranking Richonne
#27: To Replace The One You Lost (S7E10)
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Ok the Richonne content in 7.10 was a feast. I loved every moment Rick and Michonne were on screen together. So honestly, this #27 spot can kinda go to all their moments in the ep, but if I have to single out one…it’s gotta be the cat moment. 😍 It’s a great 'anniversary' gift after going canon in 6.10 and meaningful in so many ways...
(Side note: seeing Jadis again in this 7.10 ep 😒…I very much hope Jadis and Michonne’s katana have a reunion in TOWL. Especially because I've always believed that Jadis saving Rick in 9.05 was just a secondary outcome of Jadis saving Jadis. She needed someone to give the CRM and it worked out for her to give them Rick. Had that helicopter demanded she be alone for the pick-up, Jadis' track record shows she would have acted in self-interest and left Rick behind.
And for Rick, I believe he'd feel that cruelly keeping him from his family for years is worse than leaving him to die by that river - so this one time, plz let Richonne's wrath prevail over their mercy whenever they confront Rick's captor Jadis) 
First, I adore Rick and Michonne's adorable hug after making a deal. I love how they get wrapped up in each other and seeing both their smiles. 🥰 Being in each other's arms is where they’re most meant to be, I’m just saying. 
And then to make the hug even better, Rick kisses Michonne's forehead and it’s just the sweetest. I love how they stay in the embrace as they walk off too. Before they leave the frame, you can visibly see Michonne's relief that her man made it out of this wild day, even if not completely unscathed. And it'll always be a nice touch that Rick is still so thoughtful to embrace Michonne without getting his bloodied hand on her.
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And then there’s the cat sculpture. 🤩
I will forever love how despite all the eventful stuff of the day, Rick still had the mindset to notice that cat in the junkyard and recall the rainbow cat from season 3, and want to gift this sculpture to Michonne. 
So Rick and Michonne are standing by the trunk of the car - which reminds me of another scene by a trunk in Clear (that will certainly show up on this Top 30 list 😊) And their Richonne tones are so sweet as they lay out their plan together. Rick is so refreshingly hopeful saying how he doesn’t know where they’ll find guns but "that’s never stopped us before." And Michonne’s smile when he says that is precious. 
And it hit me that while there’s a general sense of how things have never stopped them before, it also could be a specific reference to Clear because back then they were similarly going out to look for guns and then there weren’t any at the station like they hoped but that didn't stop them because they still managed to find a ton when discovering Morgan’s arsenal. While that might be a more subtle Clear reference, the next cat reference is very clear. 
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Rosita wants to go already but Rick says hold on and jogs over to the cat sculpture even despite his injury. As I’ve noted before, I’ll forever love this man turning the trash heap into Pottery Barn for his woman. The way Rick's romantic heart continuously courts her is perfection and I love that getting things for her and putting a smile on her face is always a priority. The cute way he walks over too - I know Michonne was appreciating that walk. 😋 
I love the way he hands it to her and how she asks, "why are you…?" in an amused smitten way. And I just noticed that Rick has this little laugh when Michonne asks this. He’s so happy, and it’s sweet how often Rick's happiness is Michonne-related throughout the series. 
It’s already so nice that Rick says he’s giving this to her "because we won." Like what a man to be like I don’t even want to leave this place before celebrating this win with my wife. And again, I have always felt that it’s the "we" moreso than the "won" that really has him on a high because they really defeated that Winslow walker as a team. 
And then because they always top themselves, Rick takes this to maximum heights of perfection when he says, "and to replace the one you lost."
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It's just beyond meaningful. I love that he and Michonne are sentimental people and that he reveals that he remembers that rainbow cat from such a foundational time in the building of Richonne. Clear is so special to me so I love that it was referenced and that that time is clearly special to them too. 
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Again, think about how much craziness they’ve gone through since Michonne took that 'too damn gorgeous' cat home back then, and yet it's still stored in Rick's memory. I love that this was written to imply Rick still remembers it. The rainbow cat had to do with her so it’s unforgettable.
And also just the line "to replace the one you lost" is powerful because those two lost so much but truly in finding each other Rick and Michonne replenished so much too.
Rick is man of the year every year to me. And I love that he says this knowing he just made his wife's day. It’s his proudest accomplishment of the day. 😊 And Michonne’s sweet little smile as she holds the cat statue is just heart-melting. I absolutely love seeing Michonne be loved on and courted and valued, and Rick is so good at doing that.
They’re both so good at loving each other cuz it’s what they’re made to do. And it’s great she gets this confirmation that she’s been important to Rick for a long time. Rick stays telling on himself, and I'm here for it.
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I also love how content Rick is when he says, "let’s go" to the group before they leave the junkyard. Like only after this w with Michonne and most of all putting a smile on her face, that’s when Rick's officially like alright now we’ve done all the things we need to do. 😌
For Rick, this was an apocalyptic date basically. Like first a little wild walker game and then winning a carnival prize for his girl. I adore that it is that man’s mission to give Michonne whatever she likes and just restore anything she’s lost.
This cat moment is one of the sweetest and most couply moments between them, and I will forever be touched by it. All throughout this ep, it was so evident that a husband and wife were up in this place.
Rick and Michonne are so proud and honored to be together, and I appreciate that they expressed gratitude, adoration, and care for each other every chance they got. 😊
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canyouiimagine · 1 year ago
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Showed Me | CS55 x Black! Reader
PART 1
Masterlist
✧ Paring: Carlos Sainz jr x Heiress black!reader
✧ Warning: Mean reader, cursing, mentions of cheating.
✧ Summary: In which reader is a bad person but a good friend.
✧ A/N: I obviously don't know Carlos Sainz, this is just for entertainment. <3 Also, English is not my first language so 👉🏾👈🏾.
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You and Anna had always been polar opposites. She was nice, you weren't. She was sociable, you weren't. She was passionate, you weren't. But there is one thing you guys had in common, you both hated losing.
Your best friend was currently curled up in your bed. The same bed she hadn't left since she came knocking at your door 2 days ago, bawling her eyes out. For a man. Carlos Sainz - the man she was crying about - was handsome, you'll give her that. But the man was a fluorescent red flag, you could see he was trouble from a mile away. You told her to be careful, but she didn't listen. 
Anna was an optimistic person, you weren't.
Anna and Carlos met almost two years ago at a private party in Ibiza. She had just graduated Valedictorian and wanted to celebrate with a weekend on the island.  It was love at first sight she said.  She was minding her business, dancing to the beat when suddenly she felt someone rubbing up on her and trying to grope her. She turned around to give the person a piece of her mind, but he got mad and raised his hand to hit her. Anna braced herself but nothing came. Instead, she heard – in her words - "a deep sexy voice speaking sexily in Spanish" and saw a tan hand holding the arm of her harasser. 
They started dating shortly after and Anna was over the moon.  To her, Carlos was sweet and caring. He flew her out places, bought her expensive gifts, and gave her his time whenever he could. She was rich, she didn’t need trips and gifts, but she appreciated the thought. To you, he was a prick who had convinced your friend that it would be better to keep their relationship a secret so he could feed her crumbs and use it as an excuse. Carlos was a Formula 1 driver, so they were apart a lot. Sure, she would sometimes attend races, but they couldn’t interact in public. Apparently, the media and fans had bullied his ex-girlfriend into breaking up with him and ever since he had opted to keep his love life private. 
A few months in their relationship he had given her the keys to his mansion in Madrid. “For whenever you miss me” he had said. “It’s our home” he had insisted. Anna went there as often as she could. So often in fact that she knew every corner of it. And the one this Instagram influencer was posing in was no exception. At first, she thought “it has to his cousin or something” but after clicking on her profile and scrolling through her feed she accepted the hard truth, he was cheating on her.  There were pictures upon pictures of her at the same places she had flown to meet up with Carlos. Pictures upon pictures of the same hotels and homes they stayed at together. But the worst part was the timeline of it all. All the posts were made a few days before or after she had been there. Carlos had been cheating on her, perhaps the entire length of their relationship.  Coming to that realization had her spiralling. She didn’t even know who was the side chick, was it her or the other girl? Had he met the both of them at the same time? Were there other girls? She tried asking his housekeepers for answers but all they did was give her looks of pity and sad smiles. She called and tried to confront him but as soon as he understood what was happening he hung up and blocked her.  Carlos was an asshole, and you couldn’t resist the urge to say -
“I told you so.” “Y/N!!” She cried out to you. “But I did, didn’t I?” This might seem harsh but you knew Anna more than anyone and you knew what she needed right now was a slap back to reality. You had let her cry and wallow in her pity for a few days but now she had to get herself together and be the bad bitch she knew herself to be.  “You’re supposed to be supportive! I gave him two years of my life. Two years!” You had been supportive. You had listened to her talk again and again about that man when you didn't even like him! Instead of replying you let out a sigh and caressed what you presumed was her head under the blanket.  
After a few minutes she finally let her head out to look at you, mischief written all over her face.
“Y/NNNN?” She said, smiling. “No.” You replied, giving her a pointed look.
You already knew where this was going. You tried to get up but she grabbed your wrist.
“We can’t let him get away with this, Y/N!” She whined, letting go of your wrist to put your hand in between hers. “We?” You looked at her incredulously. You didn't remember this being a "we" problem. “Who’s we?”
“We need to make him pay Y/N/N.” She said, frowning.
The minute she used your nickname she knew she had won.
Anna Lang was emotional, you weren’t. But Anna was your best friend and there was little you wouldn’t do for her.  She wanted revenge and she knew revenge was what you did best.
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Hope you enjoyed it 🥹💖
Here's my ko-fi in case any of you want to support me by giving donations 🥰: https://ko-fi.com/canyouiimagine
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mystiquedrops · 2 months ago
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Gives me ALLLL your Whit headcanons (angsty pls :3) >:3
Wow- this is actually my first ask here-
And well, I wasn't expecting people to actually be invested in my Whit ANGST stuff - (not complaining though I love feeding y'all even if I poison y'all sometimes, which mb for that- :') )
But alright, if you really want to know, I'll tell them and my reasonings for beliefs :3 (Most of them are inspired though)
Just know, they probably aren't as interesting as you probably expected and very bland and simple- :'))
Soo
MINI-SPOILERS FOR DRDT IG??? ! AND SPOILERS FOR KNY (SINCE OFC I'LL REFERENCE IT EVEN IF IT DOESN'T GO HERE)
(only for the like backstory and other stuff that aren't really relevent I think-)
WHIT YOUNG ANGST HC TIME !! 💔
(These are just my interreptions obviously- your choice whether you believe or not)
-Whit's parents are probably divorced Imo. (Reasoning for belief; Correct me if I'm wrong but, he did say his father is always overseas- I get that work exists but.. who stays overseas ALWAYS? What is you doing bffr 💀.) (Yes I'm aware absent parent doesn't mean divorced but. I swear it feels like they're divorced Imo)
-Whit picked up on his mother's personality after she died. (Reasoning for belief; Actually, this HC is inspired by Demon Slayer, where Shinobu copies Kanae's personality after her death 💀. And Shinobu and Whit reminded me of eachother with their smiley attitude+ overall calm-ish demeanor- Whit being more childish ofc I inspired two HCs off of her for Whit actually- wowsies ! )
-The cardigan Whit is wearing probably originally belonged to his mother once (Reasoning for belief; Again, Demon Slayer inspiration- Shinobu wears Kanae's haori after she died. And since Whit kinda reminds me of her in terms of Hashiras, ofc she's used as inspiration :3)
-Whit gets stunned in place, COMPLETELY caught offguard whenever someone lashes out at him unexpectedly/when he's least expecting it (Reasoning for belief; Well, Idk if this is ANGST worthy. I think it's.. normal to get stunned in place when you get lashed out on?? Idk- I'm just giving whatever I have since I'm asked- Anyways, remember Episode 12 where David told Whit to stfu?? Yeah, the music dropped dead silent and Whit also went silent after that 😶 not to mention we don't get a glance at his sprite to confirm his reaction. So I think he was stunned in place- and.. if it's alright to mention, that FTE with Charles when Charles suddenly lashed out at him for making fun of him which I think they both were in the wrong don't expect me to defend either actions here. Yeah, he went stunned in place for a bit-)
-Uhm, hmm.. If Whit were to have a breakdown, I imagine it'd be a bit quiet-ish breakdown. Similarly to what Rosie had back in Ch2, and maybe a TINY mix of Hu's meltdown (Reasoning for beliefs; Tbh. Even if I find interesting in the idea of Whit breaking down as much as y'all of everyone else does- I think his breakdown will be real quiet-ish.. silent tears or smth. Because with how emotionally repressed he seems not to mention his "Bitter things should go down the drain" quote It just.. makes sense to me it'd come out very.. slowly.)
-Whit pretty much downplays his intuition and makes them into a joke, until they actually come to reality (Reasonings for belief; I can't count this as a reasoning but.. you can take this as a hint for a LITTLEEE prediction I have :3 "Charles Cuevas pronounced dead at 3, cause of death, fatally unfunny" WHO SAID THAT-/j)
Idk what else to say, or how else to describe my other HCs without sounding insane. But that's about it-
I appreciate y'all's interests though in my Whit ANGST stuff ! I'll probably try to do more when he gets more canonical info :3 (No promises though I'm very lazy too. That's a ask to my motivation)
(Sorry if I bored anyone with how boring and simple they are btw- that's the best I can do- they won't age well anyways so, I don't think anyone cares, right?-)
Thanks for reading !
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itsthatmff · 2 years ago
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Trying to catch your attention | | | Genos, Garou, Zombieman
Some little Headcanons for yall cuz i can’t fall asleep. She/her pronouns used !! (Requests are open anytime)
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“Y/N-San. I have something interesting for you”
Would try to catch ur attention by showing you something you mentioned once.
You talked about your favorite book once ?? He’ll read it just to talk to you about it. You mentioned your favorite food ? He’s got the recipe. He’ll even research and take you to places you’ve always wanted to go to.
He’ll only do it if he feels like you both have been quite distant lately. But if he’s already your boyfriend ??! He’ll try everything and anything to see you smile. He Can’t explain the feeling, but it just makes his “system work faster” whenever he sees that smile of yours.
Genos has like a really good memory so its quite convenient for him, as he remembers everything you’ve ever said in detail.
He’ll help you remember things you forgot so that you can praise him.
With clothes he goes all out. Cuz cmon we all know dudes got a sense of fashion. So sometimes he’ll mention how he got new shoes or a new top in order to get you to be attentive.
If he feels bold enough, he’ll even ask stuff like, “Y/N-san. Do you think this looks good on me?”
If he’s satisfied with your answer or feels like you’ve given him all the attention, he just goes on to continue doing his chores with a silent smile.
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“Oi, don’t keep your eyes off me”
This man may not look or act like it, but he’s very big on getting the attention he wants. He hates being ignored.
If he feels like you’ve been avoiding him on purpose, he’ll first try to get near you with some stupid excuse.
Like, if you’re two sat down at the couch, he’ll move “a little” closer basically squeezing you to the corner because he needs “enough space” to lay down.
If you still don’t receive all those signals, he’ll just bluntly say something along the lines of, “don’t keep your eyes off me.”
He’d probably throw your phone out if its the reason why you’re not giving him attention. And no, he won’t pay for it.
He also may start talking about the times he beat heroes up, thinking it would impress you.
He’ll basically do everything except tell you “i need attention.”
And if you confront him with a “is it my attention that you want so badly?” He’ll deny it until there’s no end.
pls teach him how to be communicative.
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“There’s a new Latte out, here, have it.”
He’d realize the lack of time you’ve both been spending with each other because of hero work. So when he catches you at the café both of you would frequently visit, he has a nice little idea.
He would get you some Latte, then sit right in front of you and shove the latte over to you, with a little handwritten note on top of it.
“Here, have it.”
His love language is very much giving you coffee. He’d have the sweetest smile in his face seeing you drink it.
There’s not much more he needs to be satisfied other than seeing you appreciate his little gestures, so as a boyfriend he’s pretty much low to maintain.
There’s not really a time where he feels like you’re not giving him “too little attention” as he respects your own space.
Sometimes, maybe sometimes, after a long day of protecting the city, he’ll snuggle up to you in bed just wanting to stay like that for a while. He’ll barely say anything tho. Maybe compliment you, say how you smell so sweet, and tell you about his day. Other than that he’ll just enjoy your warmth.
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betterfettered · 1 year ago
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Hi love your blog BTW ❤️. I noticed in a lot of you answers you mention a "before it got bad" type of situation and it made me wonder when did it get bad was it more of a you didn't even realize it ws bad till its too late? Could you give a specific moment where it would be obvious to the MC that something is wrong with how the boys live her?
Idk if you have a character limit, but if you do, you can choose whatever characters give you the most inspiration (+Levi cuz he my favorite)
Anonnamin I love this question it's so unique!! I had a lot of fun thinking about this. 🤩 I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it!
(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere; please tell me if there's anything non-gn about the reader)(noncon)(violence against reader)(gaslighting)(small weight loss mention in Beel's)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]
+Yandere!Lucifer would probably tip you off that something is not right when he harshly punishes you for something that isn't dangerous or harmful, more just not what he said to do. It might be, for example, he told you not to stay up playing video games with Levi and you do so anyway. The situation is pretty safe (as long as Levi is not also crazy about you...) and as long as you get up on time for school he'll probably just scold you a bit, right? Wrong! He'll hold you back as the others head to school, make you strip all of your clothes off and then flog you for your indiscretions until you start to cry and then a little more, until he believes you when you say that you will not disobey him again.
When you got to school you'd be sitting in class next to one of the brothers who is really concerned about why your eyes are puffy from crying and you look like you're in pain, meanwhile you are trying to put together what you did that was so wrong and why Lucifer took it to this extent. This kind of situation would be a big red flag that something is not right.
+Remember in the first game when Mammon and MC had to pretend to break up in Simeon's cafe? The first red flag for Yandere!Mammon would probably be him seriously saying stuff like this because he's usually pretty shy about expressing his affection and is kind of always goofing around. I don't think he'd be able to stay angry and would probably get whiney with his demands, but the growing sense of possessiveness and jealousy expressing itself to you more seriously and the limits he would try to impose on your behavior would be a sign that things are slowly changing for the worse.
+To be completely honest I don't think Yandere!Leviathan's attachment to you would ever seem quite normal LOLOL, but the first true red flag would be him insisting that whenever you two spend time together, it's in his room. Normally he could appreciate like, a trip to the zoo or going to a concert together, but your outings being interrupted by running into the brothers or Diavolo or Simeon or Solomon etc etc would start to make him so jealous for your attention that he only wants to be with you in his room, while he's holding you in place with his tail and tugging off your clothes so he can put you into the latest lewd outfit he bought you online. It'd be slow going because of how his hands caress and squeeze and linger. He'll also start asking what you are thinking about pretty constantly because he's worried that it is someone else.
+With Yandere!Satan, you would notice a different kind of anger start to emerge as the first red flag. Normally when he gets angry, it's spontaneous and out of his control. With you, his acts of anger would start to be more and more premeditated, calculated, precise -- punishments instead of lashing out. He is almost always thinking about you, so his angry thoughts have time to become more organized into an impulse to put you properly into your place relative to him. If he feels like you're his lesser, he feels more in control of the situation and it's easier to manage for him instead of him becoming a blushing, stuttering mess whenever you do something that really makes him swoon. This dominating personality would show in things like him insulting you, him pointing out your relative weakness to his, or him wanting to play some "games" with you. One of these games might be for you to kneel on the ground while wearing a collar he forced on your neck and you bark, roll over, or sit at his command. If you're feeling rowdy enough to disobey he beats you until you remember the rules. Pretty fun, right?
+With Yandere!Asmodeus, the first red flag would be that you notice he says stuff that is completely untrue about your relationship with a totally straight face. If the night before, he was holding you down and licking the tears off of your face while fucking you, the next day he would laugh about how shocking it is when you throw yourself at him like you did yesterday. If you looked confused or said that that isn't what happened, he'd just tell you that you don't need to be embarrassed about being assertive. There would be no way to get through to him. You may even notice it about smaller things, too, like him sending you selfies and saying you asked for them when you didn't.
+There might be small flags here and there with Yandere!Beelzebub, but the way you would notice something is very wrong is when you say or do something that convinces him that he needs to protect you. At that point it's all over. It would most likely be that you hurt yourself, but it could also be something like you not getting enough sleep or losing weight or hanging out with people he doesn't like. At first, he'll be glued to your side, but then he will realize that what you really need is to be safe and sound away from all of the dangers of the Devildom.
Beel thinks "kidnapped" is a strong word when all he's doing is keeping you somewhere where he can keep an eye on you and take care of you. He knows that in the future you will be better behaved so the shackles won't be necessary, so for now they are a temporary measure. For your safety :)
+I think that with Yandere!Belphegor, you might not notice any red flags until it is too late. I think he's a pretty self aware yandere and knows that the things he wants to do to you are not normal, so he is usually strategic in how he goes about satisfying these urges. He is also spoiled in general, so you might mistake some of his behavior for him being used to getting whatever he wants. But letting him have his way is a slippery slope. At first when he insists on sleeping in your bed with you, you think it's perfectly fine, he always shares beds with people when sleeping, and when he always demands you are in the bed with him at a certain time, you can understand because he does need a lot of sleep, and after a while when he starts wrapping his arms around you and pulling your body right up against his, his lips against your neck, you guess it's okay because it's just cuddling, and then a week later when you're confused about why his tongue is in your mouth, you think to yourself that there's nothing wrong with a good night kiss and just ignore the way his hands are trailing all over your body. Then it's been a few months and you wonder how things ended up like this, with him angrily fucking you and calling you a disgusting slut for walking to school with Lucifer that morning and gripping your neck so hard you feel like you can barely hear him. Looking back, you will find it hard to pin point any one red flag of when thing truly started to get out of hand.
So, do you agree with me anon? Or maybe you think it would be a little more obvious before then? Let me know what u think
Always feel free to send in more asks!
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writeandsurvive · 1 year ago
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Caught in a Snow Storm ~ Alden Parker 1/2
Summary: After a work road trip, you and Alden have to stop at a hotel cause the roads are being closed and there’s only one room left.
Warnings: one bed, heater goes out, smut, age gap, smoking, handjob, oral (f receiving).
Words count: 5.2k
Author’s note: yes, despite being summer, I’m writing winter fics. I couldn’t shake this idea off my head so I finally wrote it down. Second part coming soon! Special mention to Supernatural in this work because 18 years later, I finally fell into the rabbit hole. I hope you’ll like it! ❤️
None of this was planned. Nothing happened the way it should have. The whole trip was a major waste of time, giving you zero info for your murder case and even less a lead. On top of that, a huge snow storm hit, blocking the roads and you had to stop at the first hotel you found. You usually love the snow, you find it beautiful when it’s all white outside. But this time, it was just the cherry on the cake. “Do you have everything you need for a sleepover?” You did this trip with your team leader, Alden Parker. You didn’t want to go in the first place.
The idea of being stuck in a car for almost three hours with your crush didn’t sound appealing. Not that you mind being with him, you actually love his company, love talking to him about all kinds of things, love his face when he smiles, or how his eyes are soft whenever he looks at you. You love how his mustache is dark while the rest of his beard - and hair - keeps getting whiter. But you still didn’t want to, because of what happened the week before.
Despite being cold outside, the sky was clear blue and the sun was out. You love this exact kind of weather, and ever since you found out about the roof, you enjoy going up for a break, taking some deep breaths, having a smoke and just appreciate the quiet. And that was exactly what you did. Smelling the nice scent coming from the bakery down the street, a cigarette in hand, you relaxed. You even took a couple of pictures of this nice view.
“You know,” you jumped for a second at the sound of his voice straddling you. He chuckled at your reaction. “Ever since I joined, I’ve been wondering where your secret smoking spot is.” He got closer to the ledge, taking in the view. You tried not to stare too much.
“Did you follow me here, Parker?” You puffed on your cigarette.
“Just a little at the time. Nice spot. But the cigarette—“
“I know, I don’t need the lecture. I’m not a heavy smoker, you know.” You stayed a few steps away from him, not wanting to overwhelm him with the bad smell of nicotine.
“Just when you’re overwhelmed or want to relax.”
You didn’t know what to think about the fact that he noticed all of this. And was intrigued enough that he found your secret spot. You felt all giddy, but buried it deep inside you.
“After sex, too.” As soon as it left your lips, you regretted it. Where was this coming from? Technically, it is true, you enjoy a smoke after sex, but it wasn’t something Alden Parker needed to know. You felt so horrified that you stopped looking at the man and just focused on the view and your cigarette that was coming to an end. You would probably need another one. “I shouldn’t have said that.” You managed to say.
“Yeah,” he agreed and you felt even worse. “Look, I’m not going to tell you how bad it is for you, cause I know how annoying that is—I’ve been there.” You looked at him, forgetting your embarrassment for a second. “Just that if and when you decide to try to stop, I’ll be happy to help.”
“H—how did you stop?”
“That’s actually one of the good things that came out of my marriage with Vivian. She really wanted me to stop, so we came to an agreement that everytime I needed to smoke, I’d reach out to her. I’d call if we weren’t together, or just tell her if we were, and she’d do her best to take my mind off it.”
“And it really worked?”
“After a while, yeah. It did. But also because I wanted to stop. If you don’t have that in the first place, no matter what you do, it won’t work.”
“I’ll— think about it. Thank you for offering your help.”
Your cigarette was long gone, and you put the bottom away in a little ashtray you hid.
“We’re a team.” He smiled at you. That damn smile that makes you want to reach for him and kiss him until you can’t breathe.
You went back to the bullpen together. “I do miss a good cigarette after sex though.” He just said before you left the roof.
Maybe you spent the entire week overthinking this. He obviously didn’t mind what you said, but you still felt horrified by it. Why would you say something like that to him? Clearly, he knew what that feeling was like, but it still wasn’t worth mentioning. He did agree when you said you shouldn’t have said it though. Did it make him uncomfortable? He probably doesn’t want to know anything about his coworkers sex life.
Not that you had any lately.
When you finally reached a hotel, you thought it would be it. You couldn’t wait to get into your room, lay down and relax. Probably go back down later to smoke. The ride itself wasn’t bad at all. Alden was his usual self, you two talked about many stuff in the car, some were work related and some weren’t. At some point, it felt like he was trying to know you better than he already did. After all, you’ve been working together for just a year, and it’s not like you two spend a lot of alone time together.
“I’m sorry we’re booked.” The receptionist started to say, and you sighed heavily. “Lots of people decided to stop when they announced the storm coming up. All we have left is a suite.” You and Alden looked at each other.
“It’s either that or the car.” He said.
“Fine. But accounting better not give us hell for that.”
“Is this a work trip?” The lady asked, surprising both of you.
“Yeah, why?” Alden asked.
“Because that suite—only has one bed.”
“Fuck me.” You muttered a bit too loud. But Alden agreed for the room.
“We’re adults.” He said in the elevator. “We’ll build a pillow wall if it makes you feel better.”
“Sure. Adults and pillow walls really fit together.” You rolled your eyes. Alden chuckled.
“Have you ever slept in the same bed as a friend or something?”
“Yeah, of course. But it’s different.”
The elevator’s doors opened and Alden walked out first. “If it really grosses you out to share a bed with me, I’ll sleep on the floor, Y/N.”
You usually love when he says your name, but not this time. You could tell by his tone that you upset him. Hurt him, maybe? But wasn’t it better that he thought something like that than know the truth? That you didn’t want to share a bed because you were scared of what it may do to you. You followed him into the suite. It was very beautiful, spacious, and kinda—romantic. Not helping.
“That’s not what I meant, Alden.” He put his backpack down.
“I saw a little store down the street, I’m gonna go buy a few things.” He walked past you to reach for the door again. “Do you need anything?” He still asked.
“A pack of cigarettes?” You heard his quiet growl.
“I was thinking more like some food? Hygiene products? PJs?”
“Do you really think they are selling PJs in that mini store?”
“I’m hoping. Sleeping on the floor is one thing, but sleeping on the floor in my suit? I’d rather not.”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor.” You told him.
“Are you?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah right.”
You knew he wanted to ask you why it was different with him. Why did you seem so repulsed by the idea of sharing a bed?
“I’ve got everything I need, thanks.”
Alden nodded and left.
This would be alright, yes? It was just one night. The bed was big enough for you two, you wouldn’t need a pillow wall. You just hoped his scent wouldn’t drive you crazy, that his body heat wouldn’t warm your insides.
While Alden was gone, you called McGee to give them updates - not that you had much - and listen to theirs. You exchanged a few theories about the case. And finally told him that you’ve found a hotel to spend the night. “Where’s Parker?”
“He needed a few things for a store downstairs. How are the roads in DC?”
“Not too bad yet, but we’re all heading back home before we have to sleep in the office.”
“Lucky you.”
“Be safe and stay warm.”
“Not too warm though.” You overheard Nick. The team knew about your crush on Alden. They all figured you out little by little.
“Tell him he’s a dead man.”
“She’s going to kill you.” Tim said to Nick, laughing.
“Love you too!” Nick shouted.
You were still working on your computer when Alden came back from his little trip. You immediately noticed the snow all over his dark coat, his hair was wet, and he looked absolutely frozen. “It’s getting bad.” You stood up to take a quick look through the window. Everything was covered in snow and the night was dropping. “The store owner told me that a neighborhood close by lost power. We may be next.”
“Wonderful.”
As Alden took his coat and jacket off, you went to grab a towel from the bathroom and offered it to him. “For your hair.”
“Thank you.” He dried off his hair, and sat on bed to take off his wet socks. He looked at you puzzled when you extended your hand.
“It’s just socks. They need to dry.”
You disappeared in the bathroom to put them on the tower heater, while it still worked. When you came back, Alden was sitting on the bed in his white undershirt, his belt was unbuckled. You forced yourself not to stare. “We can eat downstairs but I don’t feel like moving just yet. You can if you want to be alone.”
“Not hungry for now. You should take a shower while there’s still hot water, that’ll warm you up. I put a towel on the heater.”
You could feel his eyes on you even though you had your back turned to him. “Thank you.” And he was gone to the bathroom.
This was going to be alright.
You took a look in the bags he brought back. Was this considered sneaking? He didn’t say anything about it being private, and you could see a bag of chips on top anyways. And you found mostly snacks, a bag of your favorites. There was your favorite kind of tea, and some coffee powder. And obviously, a box of pastries. You smiled at that. If Alden doesn’t find his way to pastries, pastries will find their way to him.
Then you grabbed the hotel menu, looking at what could interest you. Unlike you told Alden, you were hungry, you just didn’t want to eat alone. And you wanted to make up to him for hurting his feelings earlier.
He came back from the bathroom, wearing some night shorts, his white t-shirt and a black zipper on top. His hair was still a little wet, and messy. You’ve never seen his beautiful hair like this and you loved it even more. Alden looked so casual, and cozy, you realized this was what it’d be like to date the man. This could be one of your daily views, if only— if only.
You were on the bed, scrolling on your phone, your legs under the blanket as it was getting a bit colder. “You should go too.” He told you, and you agreed. Walking past him as he smelled fresh from the shower turned your upside down. You hurried to the bathroom and locked up. A cold shower was more needed than a hot one. You almost gave up to your urges in the shower and touched yourself, but your embarrassment afterwards would be written all over your face, and Alden could read you very easily.
You needed to smoke.
“You were looking at the menu. Do you want to order something?”
“Do you?”
You definitely noticed how Alden looked at you from head to toes, even though there was nothing to see. You were wearing an oversized hoodie that you always have with you during winter, and your work pants. “I don’t have shorts like yours or anything similar.” You answered his silent question.
“Get under the blanket and take them off. I’m staying here for now anyway.”
You did as told, because you honestly wanted those pants off. Alden stayed seated at the little table. “So, food?”
“The grilled cheese sounds good.”
“Drink? I got you some tea for later, but you already saw that.”
It was the first time since you got the room that you and Alden actually looked at each other. You could tell he was teasing you for looking into the bags, so you smiled. “My favorite. Thank you by the way.”
You gave Alden your full order and he called the reception, who informed him about the heating system issue. The room temperature was clearly dropping. You pulled on your sleeves to cover your hands, and put the hood on. “We can get an extra blanket, or hang out around their chimney.”
“I’d rather stay here for now. And get your ass under the blanket too.”
“I’m good.”
“For the love of god, Alden! I’m not grossed out by the idea of sharing a bed with you! Or anything like that for that matter.”
“No, I know. I get it. I’m your team leader, I’m quite older than you. It’s not very comfortable, like sleeping with your weird uncle or something.”
You laughed, but Alden looked serious.
“You’re definitely not the weird uncle.”
“Yeah, tell that to my nieces and nephews.”
“I’d rather trust Eli.” You smiled and he returned it. You and the team learned about Alden’s godson only recently. You’ve met his former FBI partner, Jeremy, who talked about his son Eli, and how much he loved his godfather. You had no doubt believing that Alden was a loving godfather, who took his role very seriously. And you loved that about him. “Get under the blanket, Parker.” You said again, and this time he did. He stayed very much on his side though, a huge gap between your body and his. “Plug your phone before the power goes out.” He said, plugging his own.
As you left the bed to grab your phone charger - and computer - you forgot that you had no pants on. It didn’t even occur to you when you slightly bent over to get it from your bag. It was only when you walked back to the bed, and saw how red Alden’s cheeks were that you realized. You basically jumped under the blanket, mortified. “I’m sorry! I completely forgot—sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He cleared his throat. “No worries.”
“Let’s agree that if either of us does something that makes the other uncomfortable, we can just say it. Yeah?”
“Deal.”
How could you look him in the eyes now?
Both of you on your side of the bed, focusing on your phones, the room became totally quiet. You didn’t know what was more uncomfortable, the fact that you just saw your panties, and that you’re both so ill at ease, you can’t even talk, creating this awful atmosphere.
Finally, your order came in. You obviously decided to eat on the bed, the blanket covering you as much as possible. “I can put up something on my laptop if you want.” You offered.
“Yeah, why not.”
You gave him a few options as he settled the food.
“What’s Supernatural?”
“Seriously? Dean and Sam Winchester, chasing demons and all kinds of creatures?”
“That sounds—“
“Like what we’re watching. Sit.”
And you did just that. Eat dinner in bed, covered by a comfy blanket, watching the first episode of Supernatural… with your team leader. Your crush. The guy who’s much older than you.
You didn’t know who was the most surprised by how Alden got into it. He was asking you a bunch of questions, some that you couldn’t answer without spoiling. “Just because it’s not that bad, doesn’t mean I’ll binge the whole thing. Don’t care about the spoilers.”
“I do. So, if you want to know what killed the boys’ mom, just watch it.”
Alden was leaning against the headboard, an arm behind his head. He looked even more cozy than he did earlier. You could so easily lay down on his chest, and cuddle as you watch the show. “Maybe I should go down and get that extra blanket.” He said at the end of the episode.
“I will go. I’m gonna smoke.”
“I didn’t buy you a pack.”
“Always have a few with me. Do you think you can avoid freezing to death for ten minutes?”
“You’re the one going outside. Wouldn’t you prefer to stay warm here and talk to me?” He offered. How he managed to stop smoking. “We can watch another ep, if you want.”
“You’re hooked.” You grinned.
Alden turned on his side, leaning a little closer to you. “Well it’s always nice to know how to defend myself if I ever encounter a demon.”
“Or a vampire, or a werewolf, or a rougarou.”
“What the hell is a rougarou?” He laughed.
“Binge. The. Show.” At every word, you got closer to Alden. So close your forehead almost brushed his. A little more and you could’ve kissed the man. And it obviously took both of you by surprise.
“I’ll go get the blanket. Be back in a few.” He was gone before you could say anything.
By the time he came back, you had cleared the bed from the plates and food, made sure that there were no crumbs or anything in the sheets, put his water bottle on his nightstand, and waited. The extra blanket looked fluffy and pretty warm, and Alden couldn’t wait to get under. “It’s freezing in those damn hallways.”
You grabbed the blanket from his arms and set it just right on the bed. You took your computer, settling it between your hips and Alden’s, maybe it acted as a barrier. “You’re cold.” You could feel his coldness despite the gap.
“You think?” His vest was close up to the top, and he put his hood on just like you. Without thinking further, you reached out for one of his hands. It was frozen.
“Gimme the other one.” Puzzled, he gave you his hands. You put them in the big pocket of your sweater, and covered them with yours. His hands were much bigger than yours but you didn’t care. You moved your fingers on his skin, putting a bit of pressure to get the blood flooding properly.
“Do you have another pocket for my feet?” He asked as you felt his legs getting closer.
“I swear if you put your cold feet on my legs, I’ll scream.”
In the pocket where the four hands were, you didn’t know who was trying to warm who. They were mixed together, you could feel his fingers moving against your palm and wrist. Alden chuckled, his legs got even closer.
“Parker, I have a gun.”
“So do I. And I’m a better shooter.”
“We’re 1 to 1, so no, you are not.”
You and Alden went to the shooting range a couple of times. It started with a little teasing about your aim after a case, and it turned into a competition. Whoever wins the next round has to invite the other for dinner. His idea.
Did it mean something?
“When this case is over, we’re doing the last round. I can’t wait for my free dinner.”
“Be careful. I could take you to the worst and cheapest restaurant ever.”
“In that case—“
Before you knew it, Alden’s legs were intertwined with yours. His feet were pressed against your calves, and your body got much closer to his. You let out a small scream of surprise before trying to fight him off. But his hands had left your pocket to lock you down. To be honest, with your training, you could get out of his hold but he wanted to play, so you were going to indulge. He was holding you so tight that your hands were stuck in your pocket. You tried to sneak your way out, until you both heard a thump. “Was that my laptop?” You asked.
“Uh-huh.”
“If it’s broken, you’ll explain to accounting why I need a new one.” You lifted your head to look at him. “Shouldn’t be too hard for you.”
“Why’s that?”
“According to the rumors, you dated—“
“Come on. Don’t tell me you believe those rumors?”
“Well, they are around your age, some are single. And Kathy is very beautiful.”
You felt his hold loosen a little but honestly, you didn’t want him to let go of you. You wanted to stay there for as long as possible. He smelled so good, his body felt perfect against yours. Being this close to him felt—right.
“Mmm… that’s true, she is. Do you think I have a chance with her?”
You forced yourself to smile. “Of course you do. You’re clever, handsome, sweet, funny, passionate. And you have the best head of hair ever.”
He laughed at that. From where you were, you saw his throat bobbing. His Adam’s apple was so close, all you wanted was to kiss it. His laugh was the best sound you’ve heard, and it was even better when you were the reason he was laughing.
“I figured you loved my hair when a month after I joined the team, you accidentally touched it.”
“It was an accident, Alden! I was reaching for the file and your head was on the way!”
“Sure it was. I have such a big head.”
“Aldeeeen!” You whined and somehow your face buried itself in his neck. “I swear I didn’t—“
“I’m just teasing you.” He chuckled.
Realizing that you were basically cuddling the man, you were ready to move away and get some much needed distance. Especially that Alden’s released the last bit of pressure they had on you. But before you could move even just a little, his arms closed again. This time, he wasn’t locking you down. He was hugging you. Cuddling you.
“We should stay like this if we don’t want to freeze to death. Unless it makes you uncomfortable—“
“I’m good.” You immediately said. You didn’t want to move. Not now, not ever. “You’re lucky your feet are warm now.”
“Thanks to you.”
After a long moment and an internal debat, you moved your arms to hold him back. You felt his body relaxing entirely, and yours did the same. And you stayed like long enough that you both fell asleep.
Three hours later, you woke up. You and Alden were practically in the same position, except that he rolled a bit of his back, and one of his hands was dangerously close to your butt.
Your skin was damped. You were hot and sweating. Pulling the blankets just a little, you realized that the room wasn’t cold anymore. As slowly and quietly as possible, you moved out of Alden’s arms and left the bed. The heater was working very well, your hoodie wasn’t needed anymore so you got rid of it, as well as your socks. You were now in a tank top and panties, but couldn’t bring yourself to care. Especially not after what happened earlier.
You removed the extra blanket as gently as you could so Alden wouldn’t wake up. Then, you crawled back in bed, stared at his beautiful and peaceful face before slowly opening the zipper of his vest. You were halfway through it when his body moved and you felt his eyes on you. “The heating system got fixed. You should take it off.”
“You were doing a great job.” He sleepily said. You opened the vest entirely, and tried to remove it from one of his arms.
“A little help, Alden?”
Half asleep, he sat up and put his arms in the air like a toddler wanting to be undressed. You quietly laughed and undressed him, almost straddling his lap. It surprised you when he got rid of his t-shirt too before laying back down, taking you with him.
Alden was shirtless. You could feel him, you could touch his chest if you were bold enough. You wanted to turn on the lights and see his body, admire it, imprint in your brain forever. You were about to relax and just enjoy this moment, but it was when he let go of you and practically turned on the other side. “Oh” left your lips as it surprised you, confused you and kinda hurt you.
“Male body reaction.” You heard him say. “It’s better I stay on my side.”
It took you a couple of seconds to understand. “What if I don’t want you to stay on your side?” You whispered and moved closer. You didn’t know what had gotten into you at this moment. Maybe you were going to die of embarrassment, maybe you’d have to quit your job in the morning. Or maybe—
You were now spooning Alden. “Remember our agreement? If one of us does something that makes the other un—“
“Yeah.” He cut you off.
Slowly, you ran your hand from bare back to his chest. He started to breathe heavily. You loved the hair that was there. You touched his pecs, his tummy, making him growl, and reached the waistband of his shorts. You softly kissed his shoulder and Alden melted. His hand went up and down your forearm that was around him. “I need you to agree to this, Alden.” You whispered into his ear, “Don’t want to take advantage of sleepy you.” You planted a kiss under his ear.
“I’m very much awake, sweetheart.” His head leaned back into you. “You can do anything to me.”
When was the last time someone took care of this man?
Your hand finally got into his shorts. You had barely touched his length that he moaned. When your hand wrapped around his cock, you didn’t expect it to be this thick. You got even wetter than you already were. You collected his pre cum on the tip, and used it to start stroking. “Fuck!” He growled deeply. He completely leaned into you, his hand reaching for your hair, neck, face. He was needy and you loved it. You freed his cock from the shorts and stroked him slowly, putting just enough pressure. You kissed his cheek, nipped his ear. You were able to move your other arm under his head, which allowed him to touch his chest. Between the noises he was making, you could tell he wanted to talk, he wanted to say something but everything died on his tongue. “Kiss me.” Was all he could say as he turned his face and you did. All teeth and tongue, all needy and desperate. Alden was now on his back, his hips moving. You weren’t sure if you were giving him a handjob or if he was fucking your hand. That you cared.
“I’m gonna—“ he choked and growled.
You kissed his cheek and whispered to his ear again. “Cum for me, Alden. I’ve got you.” A few more sloppy strokes and he was coming all over his stomach, your name dying on his lips along curse words, his fist holding onto your hair for dear life - it stung a little but you loved it.
You watched him coming down from his high, playing with his hair. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he was catching his breath. The post orgasm bliss on his face. You kissed his cheek, “I’ll go get a towel.”
When you came back, Alden had turned the nightstand light on, and he looked absolutely perfect. Naked, satisfied, relaxed… the best version of Alden Parker you’ve ever seen until now.
He tried to reach for the towel but you slapped his hand away, and cleaned the sticky mess on his stomach. As soon as you were done, Alden grabbed you and pinned you on the bed, his body covering yours. “I think we can say that our platonic work relationship is ruined.” His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips.
“How terrible.” You grinned and he kissed you. You’ve been in control so far, but you knew at this moment that he was taking over.
“I’m not sure how I got you to be interested in me, but I’ll take it.” He lifted your tank top a little and went down to kiss your stomach.
“You’re the only one who didn’t know I’ve had a crush on you for months.” Your body shivered under his touch.
“I may have noticed a few things—“ he took your top off of you and admired your breasts before touching them, kissing them, playing with your nipples. “But it seemed impossible.” He kept touching your tits as he got back up to kiss you. You buried your hands in his hair, and wrapped your legs around his waist.
“Why? Because you’re older?”
“For starters.” He kissed you one more time before getting on his knees. He slowly took off your panties while staring deep in your eyes.
“I don’t give a fuck about your age.” He looked at your panties, smelled them before throwing them away. You practically moaned at his actions.
“You should, babydoll.”
He settled between your legs, kissed your inner thigh, bit a little, and gently touched your pussy, looking at it so hungrily.
“Well if you don’t fuck me properly, I just might.” You teased, trying not to lose your mind over having him down there.
“As much as I want to, I’m not going to fuck you tonight, unless you got a condom hidden in your bag.”
“For fuck sakes!” You shouted.
“Sorry, doll. But I’m going to make you cum.”
And he finally dived in. He inhaled your scent deeply, before putting his month where you needed him the most. Alden knew what to do, when to do it. He ate you like a starving man. Making you moan loudly. You felt his index finger penetrating you, and another finger as his month kept playing with your clit. It didn’t take long before that amazing and familiar feeling appeared. One of your hands was in his hair, while he was holding the other with his free hand. Your legs around his neck could’ve suffocated him but you didn’t care and neither did he.
“I want to taste all of you, doll. Cum with my mouth.” He encouraged you. “I’ve got you.” He repeated your words. And you didn’t need more.
After cleaning you with the towel, Alden held you as you were catching your breath. Kissing your hair, he gently stroked your back. You both enjoyed this moment, this position, this tenderness. You didn’t know what tomorrow would be like, or even what this all meant.
Neither of you dared to ask.
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