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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years ago

Note

sagau with the language barrier issue except... the creator is sick and tired of trying to ask for things so they do everything themself.

and it gives their followers mass anxiety bc they can't even ask what you're doing... bc they know they won't understand anything...

SUCH A GENIUS NARVI 10/10 GOOD WORK SORRY IM SUPER LATE BUT THIS IS *chefs kiss*

Like, that's literally how I feel like I first played Genshin LMAO

Also this has a cont. Part 2 at the bottom bc tumblr fucking hates me UPDATE I FIXED IT THANK FUCK

Paimon was like "and then we go to Mondstadt- ! NO, not Wolvendom, to Mondstadt! NOT THE THOUSAND WIND TEMPLE WITH ENEMIES OUT OF UR LEAGUE, ENTER MONDSTADT FOR THE FIRST TIME BEFORE U EXPLORE THE REST OF THE MAP!! >:("

SO MANY IDEAS YET SO LITTLE WRITING SKILL GUYS HELP-

Also warning this is ROUGH in terms of spelling and editing and im so sorry abt that! I have my art show today so you're welcome to come back if you want to see it a little more readable tomorrow lmao

Edit Update 4/6/23:

Revised and fixed all the bad spelling and grammar (hopefully) so make sure to give another read if you havent read the cleaned up version lol

I dont have a beta reader so its just me trying my best ok-

Everything was like kinda chaos tbh at first

WOW- MY FIRST 1,000+ NOTES POST??!?! U GUYS, WHAT ARE R YOU DOIN??!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! IM GLAD U GUYS ENJOYED IT SM!! Also look out for more encoded stuff in the future since i mentioned wanting to continue stuff like this + ARG stuff :) <3

Edit 9/7/23: 2,000+ NOTES?? THANK YOU???

Like u wake up under the Irminsul, and u think ur hallucinating a goddamn gacha game for like a solid 5 minutes, or ur lucid dreaming,

but once u actually took what felt like hours to process that u might actually be in fucking Genshin Impact-

Nahida came running from, somewhere?? Its kinda just very floaty dreamy in here so, unclear, she’s beaming with a giddy little smile (💘)

It’s… so much more than what her game model could manage.

I mean, you knew that, of course you did, but- to see the tiny goddess smiling in person, her cute chubby arms waving in the air, her cheeks all plump with baby fat from her excited smile, pretty green eyes that sparkle only in the way excited toddlers do-

It was just…wow. 🥺

You can’t help it, her sheer carefree excitement, exactly like a child but you know that she must be really overwhelmed with joy if shes letting herself act like that so blatantly, you feel ur muscles tug gently into a smile, you try to muffle it but ur happiness leaks out anyway

She's panting as she stumbles on short chubby legs to reach you.

After just staring at you with those big green clover eyes for a few seconds, she physically shakes her head to knock herself out of it,

Nahida places her hand over her heart, and bows elegantly, going back to looking at you with a small but bright smile, her voice is kind of quiet, muffled in a soft way, much like her game depiction,

“Hzozn! R'ev yvvm dzrgrmt gl nvvg blf! R wrwm'g gsrmp blf dlfow wvhxvmw fmgro R dzh zg ovzhg z uvd gslfhzmw bvzih low!” *

…Nahida begins to look a little concerned… her eyes get impossibly bigger.

…Oh no.

♧

Nahida had apparently quickly spread the news that you can’t understand them, but luckily it seems like all the characters still know you!

Alhaitham is pretty much a constant by your side, you knew he was vaguely studying linguistics in the akademiya… but that knowledge still didn’t prepare you to be intensely stared at with his diamond pupils for hours. 💀

Then he’d tap your shoulder or something, and you quickly picked up that he wanted you to just try and say something.

Then he would scribble for hours.

Turns out they can understand you about as much as you understand Teyvat language (s? You can’t even tell if there are multiple languages, that’s how unrecognizable this language is, damn)

The more extroverted or friendly people, like Venti, Yoimiya, Kazuha, Jean, Noelle, Amber, Xingqiu, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Ganyu, Barbara, Beidou, Collei, Ayaka, Gorou, Nilou

At least attempt to talk to you, and try very hard to watch what you gesture with your hands or body language

They're pretty much ready to play charades at all times for you lol

Interestingly enough, they only ever understood you when you typed in the chat (with other ppl)

But even then not immediately,

Sumeru scholars basically had to make a whole new department (regardless of how much you play with others) to decipher your ancient language (to them) like those old clay tablets with cuneiform we’re still translating?

Like that, your words appear in elemental magic heavy places (so like that abyss lang. It’ll appear on walls or structures, so like Andrius’ stone colosseum? in Wolvendom gained some of your chat replies inscribed and glowing a rainbow of colors on the top edges of the walls)

Much like the abyss language you see throughout genshin, most Teyvat scholars (across nations/internationally) agreed your language is the oldest form of language known!

It’s like modern languages having roots in older ones, like English with Latin, greek, or German roots, or Sanskrit and the Prakrit for Hindi language today

…so of course no one really speaks the root languages anymore, because they’re so old, so those ancestors who spoke those languages would have little to no understanding of their modern counterparts…

◇

Occasionally if you turned your mic on for whatever reason there would be a gentle whisper on the winds in Mondstadt of your voice,

or your laugh in the waves washing ashore in Inazuma and Fontaine,

your startled noises or screams from battling bosses mixed with the landslides in the mountains of Liyue

So they know what you sound like, but that doesn’t mean they understood your language :/

Nahida had been hoping that you’re actual physical form being here would help improve the language barrier

But unfortunately, those things remained the same, but at least you were physically here to talk to now and give more content for the scholars to study rather than them having to make do with your snippets of language from chats

…so needless to say, it took you a long time to realize they viewed you as a god of sorts.

You kind of knew something was up when at least two allogenes were by your sides at all times, or eremites would replace them if they really couldn’t stick around

You figured they knew you weren’t nearly as combatant-ready as they were at all times, hell you obviously didn’t have a vision hanging off you somewhere, and you only really had a knife strapped to a belt, courtesy of the Thirty Corps

You are still kind of convinced that the people of Teyvat, or Sumeru at least, are just pretty polite (and in the allogenes case, very kind or friendly, even people like Alhaitham or Cyno, resting bitch faces they have, seem to soften a little when they’re walking around with you… maybe you’re just imagining it…)

And as much as you would love to wait until they understand you to do something more fun, as you can see the frustration on Tighnari’s face (and his ears try to flatten back hehe) as he looked like he was debating heatedly with some of the Sumeru sages who insist you stay in the city

…so why not go?

It’s not like they’re going to get it anytime soon, and it’s still too frustrating for yourself to charade things or draw things for them because you can’t even hear their guesses 💀

You can totally handle being like the traveler too,

You still have access to your inventory afterall! Plus, lucky for you, you still find a pass for the Serenitea Pot in your little pocket dimension!

So now you have somewhere to sleep at night, and while most of your stuff went to the traveler’s pack, the things like Primogems

(which.. Okay now you really want primogems bc theyre so pretty and shiny irl)✨️

And other high-level things, or just objects of no use for the traveler (so basically all your hoarded level up stuff and infinite amount of weapons lol) came along with you

So you did have to wander the first week or so around the city and even commission the Adventurer’s Guild to grab you food supplies to cook with

Filling up, along with a few big waterskins, you’re off!

...and everyone collectively has a heart attack!

◇

When you show up in Ghandaraville essentially all “✨️💖☺️✨️” on Tighnari’s doorstep-

He chokes on the tea he’d been sipping on before he opened the door lol

He looks a little frazzled so you try to just gesture with “calm yourself small animal” energy with your hands

“Tivzgvhg Oliw! R'n- R- sld wrw blf-?! Mvevinrmw, xlnv rm, xlnv rm, ivhg! ...R mvvw gl hvmw z nroorlm ovggvih mld gl ylgs gsv vmgriv xrgb lu Hfnvif, gsv Zxgrmt Tizmw Hztv, zmw gsv Nzgiz nlhg orpvob…” he began out looking at you and talking and gesturing to his small dining table (the game sucks, his house looks great and has lots of cool rooms filled with interesting plants… oooo…so pretty...)

But then he kinda just devolved into rambling, no need to understand, you can read the vibes and just know that's what he's doing lol

Collei eventually ducks in, and she looks a little panicked?

She’s quickly followed by Cyno, pushing past her to call out into the house,

His voice seems hard and stressed, looking at Tighnari, “Grtsmzir, szev blf hvvm gsv Tivzgvhg Oliw zmbdsviv, gsvb dviv hvvm xlnrmt gl Tszmwziezeroov ozhg-”

Cyno stops and blinks.

Collei’s mouth is slightly dropped open, she also just, blinks.

You blink.

Tighnari blinks tiredly, he looks like he’d rather be done for the day, you think.

The doctor sighs, and moves his head to nod towards the other dining seats.

◇

Sumeru foods are so much better looking in real life, and they’re so good too, your practically bloated by the end of dinner,

As a thank you, bc u cant say it obv, you just gesture for Tighnari to stay sitting, and he gives you a raised eyebrow and a suspicious ear twitch

But stays still, and you reach out to finally hit the eight-pointed star hovering over his, and all playable characters chests at all times.

Like you suspected, it brings up a holographic character menu, but rather than his full model, it kind of hovers in front of Tighnari’s face, replacing his old 3D model self with framing the real thing for a portrait just in front of his face

The poor Denro user nearly jumps a foot out of his chair as he looks in shock at your screen, you do the same “chillll boy” gesture with your hands and press his shoulders for a second to remind him to not run off or panic

Cyno and Collei had done the dishes and put up leftovers, and are now standing behind Tighnari, watching with equally wide eyes,

“...Dszg ziv gsvb wlrmt gl blf?

Cyno’s voice is even deeper and quieter than usual, you feel goosebumps run up your spine

“Ziv blf tvggrmt yovhhvw, Nzhgvi Grtsmzir?!” Collei’s sweet voice is also hushed like she’s witnessing something sacred, Tighnari gently shakes his head negatively in response, his shoulders shrugging,

“Nzbyv? R uvvo... z orggov hgilmtvi, zmw nb Erhrlm rh zxgrmt fk zh dvoo…”

Though he’s replying, Tighnari’s eyes haven’t once left your ancient magic? technology device? hovering in front of him,

and as he crosses his arms and squints to try and look closer at everything floating in front of him, you can see the childlike gleam of awe in his green eyes, (so cute) in fact, now that you glance up and look, both Collei and Cyno have the same quietly excited and fascinated sparkle in their eyes too

With a displeased sneer, you chuck his old level one bow into the material grinding spots, hope he wasn’t attached to that…

Oh well, he’ll like the new one better, afterall, with no characters, all your best weapons and artifacts are ready to use!

With a small smile of reassurance, you finally finish gearing Tighnari up, tap a miniature version of that 8-point star in the corner like an “X” button, and it retreats like a classic TV set📺 turning off into his chest, he startles but then carefully stands

You decide to just start making decisions bc its worked out so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And grab his hand and haul him out into the forest, Collei letting out a surprised squeak, her and Cyno hurrying after

You reach the nearest clearing, and gesture at Tighnari like a bow and arrow firing, he gets it, and your glad he already trusts you, because he doesn’t take long to summon his bow

He takes aim at a smaller tree about two cars length away

You can feel them all holding their breathe, as Tighnari charges it with Dendro, the arrowhead glowing, (it looks so cool and badass irl god you feel envious even tho ur already here-)

The ranger lets it fly, it streaks neon green, whistling through the air, it hits the tree-

and it fucking explodes.

Vines and leaves and the trees roots all rapidly swell like theyre filled with water, like it literally got hit by a superhero with plant powers, which, not that far off actually.

The green floating Dendro seeds make a ring around the tree its so full of elemental energy-

You give a wild grin, you still got it, hell yeah. >:)

Your grin widens as you look over at Tighnari, Collei, and Cyno

Cyno has a smirk lighting up his face, eyes eager, Collei’s jaw has dropped and she’s just frozen staring as the tree finally settles from the burst of the dendro powered arrow

…Tighnari has lowered his bow, and his mouth is only slightly open, his ears perked straight up into the air, shaking with excitement? Happiness? Interest? You don’t know how peopl-animal-hybrid ears work,

and you STILL cant talk to any of them to ask what they thought, so looks will have to do >:/

Tighnari is the first to move, his head snapping over to look at you, the brightest, kinda feral tbh, smile taking over his face-

“Blf pmld, dv xzm'g fmwvihgzmw blf, zmw blf fh, bvg R xzm'g dzrg gl hvv dszg rm gsv dliow blf'iv tlrmt gl wl mvcg. Blf'iv znzarmt."

… and you just 🙂? Cool!

And give a thumbs up👍LMAO

☆

Bonus:

Alhaitham was literally running around Sumeru City trying to find you when you left, tho you did try and leave a translatable-in-3-to-5-business days-note, he didn’t have time to translate that because you were gone.

Or worse, lost in the city, and he would never forgive himself if he lost you, esp as Acting Grand Sage-

Kaveh got a letter a day and a half later from Tighnari letting them know you were having a sleepover in Ghandarvaville lol

Kaveh also had to hunt down Alhaitham to give him said news, then force his roommate to go sit or lay down for the rest of the day to recover lmao

(Haitham honestly kinda freaked Kaveh out bc he’s never seen him that... desperate, it was like seeing a statue emote lol)

♡

ARE YOU KIDDING WE ALMOST HIT LIMIT AGAIN?!

Bro has anyone else had this problem???

I literally had to switch from PC to mobile and copy and paste it there to get all my shit in and tumblr not throw a hissy fit???!!!

FUCKING TUMBLR- SUCK MY BIG FAT- 👹👹 UGH

ANYWAYYYY SO I FINALLY CAVED

And started doing ciphers for when you dont get teyvat’s language! I meant to do something fun like this for awhile but I wasn’t sure if that would be kind of annoying, but if you’re interested in learning what they actually say (which the whole point of this is that dw it doesnt rlly matter lol) here’s a hint:

*hint = Atbash

:> good luck!

Wish me luck on my art exhibition today!! Then I’ll be homefreeeee 😭

Safe Travels,

💀♒

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

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xoblondie · 2 months ago

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The Forbidden Fruit

TW : 18+, stalkerish, dark!Mattheo, religious undertones, non-con content, prey/predator metaphors etc. Nothing is actually explicit but it’s all intended (HEAVY symbolism).

Temptation.

The cardinal sin that ravaged through his body, mimicking his blood flow. Taunting him with every movement you made. A war was ravaging inside Mattheo’s mind and body. A fight for control of his actions as he observed your every move.

A fight he was currently loosing, as he watched you amongst the crowd of your peers, moving seamlessly amongst them. Like you weren’t the only thing plaguing his mind no matter what he did. He couldn’t escape your fingers he found himself wrapped around. And you were completely oblivious to his unholy intentions and his lingering stares.

To him, you were as pure as powdered snow; you were soft, delicate and easy to fall into. Creating a mixture that made his mouth water with the thought of you. You were an elixir that he found himself hooked on, like an addict chasing a high.

To you, he was dark and corrupted. With bloodied knuckles and his teeth bared to the world, you knew he was bad news for you. His violence had no place amongst your peace, even if he had a peculiar place within your heart.

But what he wanted, he always got and he knew you were too innocent of heart to ever understand his underlying intentions. You were a lamb caught by a timber wolf. Purity that would be forcefully taken by a predator, no matter how much you fought back. A lamb would never grow up and grow the pointed canines it needed to protect its wool. And like a predator he would lure you away from the safety of your herd, into his sharp fangs.

In the later hours of the night, in a large leather chair perched by a fireplace, he watched your soft locks frame your face, accentuating the natural pout to your plump lips. You read your book as if it were an ancient text, showing you the answer to all your life’s questions. Your oversized sweater and tiny shorts struggling to cover the tops of your exposed thighs as you sat amongst the faded leather. Silky skin pooling against the existence of the fabric, accentuating your plump hips. The sight driving his primal urges to cave into his temptations.

His lamb was oblivious and vulnerable to the fate before them, as he closed in.

Stalking his lonesome prey, he would pin you down before biting your neck, leaving a reddened ring of his mouths artwork. Creating art out of you, all while you attempt to fight his lapse of control. He would eat your heart out. Ripping into it like a rich pomegranate, just trying to get to the fruitful seeds hidden beneath. And he would ignore as the juice stained his hands a bloody red, showcasing his corrupt actions. He would rip apart your ribs just to taste every part of your being. Drinking up your blood like cherry wine and kissing your lips as if they were the last thing he would ever taste in this life. The way he loved you was sacrilegious, an unholy tribute to the gods above.

He was godless in his actions, with roughened love and a darkness behind his fiery eyes. He burnt for you and only you. And you were a moth to his light, sacrificing yourself to his ritual as he tore away what was once pure.

Falling for his temptation was never your plan, but you became more and more addicted to his drug with every hit. No god could save you from the starving wolf as it striked down its prey.

You were his forbidden fruit, the lust he could never control. He would be bound to your soul forever, alike Persephone to the underworld. For your beauty was worth the mess he made of you. Destroying your light, to fulfill his dark sins and desires.

A/N: im afraid I ate with this one. LITERALLY. this is definitely a different writing style than what I normally do but I’m in LOVE with how this turned out <3

#dark!mattheoriddle #dark!mattheo riddle #stalker!mattheo riddle #pomegranate #x reader #smut #symbolic smut #I’m the reason your English teacher asks why the curtains are blue #xoblondie #slytherin boys smut #harry potter

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ntcresswell · 10 months ago

Text

Body swap au

wonka x reader story, where Wonka and Noodle swap bodies and reader accidentally confessed her feelings to Wonka thinking it's Noodle

Okay, disclaimer: this is my first time writing in YEARS and also I hope no one wrote this au about wonka before or I'll feel stupid. literally created this acc just for this. anyway, enjoy!!

One day, Willy Wonka was pacing around his office, his mind racing with thoughts about new recipes, when he got a sudden idea.

"Hey, Noodle! Remember the other day when you said you wished you could grow faster?" he asked, his eyes bright with excitement.

"Yeah, I do. What about it?" Noodle replied, her curiosity piqued.

"Well, I've been thinking... what if I created a new type of chocolate... one that could make you taller?" he said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

Noodle's eyes widened with interest. This isn’t exactly what she wanted, but perhaps if she was a bit taller people would treat her as an adult. She watched as Willy quickly jumped up from his chair and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen. For the next hour, he worked out the details of his idea - the ingredients he would need, and how he would construct the recipe. She liked seeing the excitement in his eyes every time he had a new crazy idea for a chocolate and she liked that he was trying to make her and everyone else happier with it.

Noodle watched as he diligently worked on his travel factory, sometimes randomly saying "huh!". She could see the hours ticking by, with Willy completely absorbed in his task.

At last, Willy finished his work and turned to her with a new piece of chocolate in his hand. He looked over at Noodle, a proud expression on his face. "I think I've got it! It might just work."

Noodle was amazed by the sight of the finished chocolate. It was a work of art, with intriguing designs and weird ingredients. She couldn't believe that Willy had actually done it.

"I'm not sure if this will work, but it's worth a try," Willy said, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"It's okay. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?" She smiled watching him break the chocolate in half, so he and Noodle could share the broken pieces. They eat it at the same time, chewing slowly and enjoying the taste of Wonka's chocolate.

Willy and Noodle are filled with excitement as they sit and wait for the magic of his chocolate to take effect. They both stare at each other, waiting for the first sign of a change. But as the minutes pass, nothing happens. Willy's shoulders sag as he realizes that his plan has failed.

"It's okay, at least you tried," she says, trying to cheer him up after seeing the disappointment on his face.

Willy nods, but his mind is already racing with what he can do differently. He starts pacing around the room, lost in thought. Suddenly, Willy feels a wave of dizziness wash over him, and his vision begins to blur. He reaches out to steady himself. He looks over at Noodle, who is just as surprised as he is. Once her vision started coming back, her head still pounding, she could feel that something wasn’t right. Her entire body felt different and she could see the room from a new perspective. A higher perspective, to be precise. She was sure that just a moment ago she was sitting on Willy's bed, but now she found herself standing in the middle of the room. Noodle's mind is filled with joy and excitement as she realises that Willy did it after all and she is taller than she ever thought she could be. Then her eyes shift to where the man was standing and instead, she sees another face looking back at her. Her face. Suddenly, the realisation hits her like a ton of bricks. She looks down at herself, and instead of her own body, she sees Willy's. She stares at herself in disbelief, unable to understand what has just happened.

"What did just..." she tries to speak, but the sound that comes out is Willy's voice. Her breath catches in her throat, and she can feel her heart pounding in her chest.

For a moment, she just stands there, frozen in shock. Then, the whole situation sinks in. She is now Willy Wonka, the world-famous chocolatier. With a shaking hand, she reaches up to touch her face, feeling Willy's stubble against her skin.

Willy's eyes sparkle with excitement as he looks over at Noodle, understanding what he has just accomplished. He can hardly contain himself as he walks around the room, muttering to himself about his brilliance and the amazing thing he's created. His eyes land on Noodle again and he realises that she's staring at him in disbelief. He takes a deep breath and attempts to compose himself, changing his demeanour to that of a serious expert.

“Don’t worry, the effect should end in a few hours at maximum and we’ll be back to normal.” He tells her and smiles again, “And you got your wish after all, huh?”

After a few awkward seconds of silence, they both burst out laughing, realising just how ridiculous the situation they found themselves in is. It's not every day that you switch bodies with your best friend, after all.

“Yeah, I guess I am an adult now. And also a man” she said still laughing.

Willy and Noodle have the time of their lives, watching themselves from a new point of view. They dance, make funny faces, and do silly actions that they never would have had the courage to do in their own bodies. The two of them are laughing and having so much fun together, they are completely lost in the moment.

After a while, Noodle starts to feel tired and tells Willy that she needs to go to bed. Willy says goodnight and she leaves the room, heading to her bed. Before she falls asleep, she can't help but smile to herself, remembering the fun they had together. She closes her eyes, hoping that she'll wake up in the morning back in her own body.

***

Y/n was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Her thoughts were filled with Willy Wonka, the chocolatier she met not long ago. They grew close in such a short time and he had the ability to make her happy by just being there. Her mind was filled with doubts and questions, and she knew soon they would be free from working for Mrs Scrubbit so their paths would separate. She wasn't ready to let Willy go, but she was too scared to tell how she felt about him. Finally, she came to a decision: if not now, then never.

She knocks on Willy’s door, feeling nervous. Her heart is racing and she’s not sure anymore if she’s actually ready to confess her feelings to him. But she’s already here so there’s no going back. With how quickly he sales his chocolate this might be her last chance to talk to him like this. As she waits for Willy to answer the door, she is surprised to see Noodle instead. Noodle looks confused as well wanting to ask if something has happened when Y/n starts talking first.

"Oh, it's just you," she said, relieved to see that Willy isn’t here. She’s still nervous and doesn’t even think about why Noodle is alone in his room that late.

"What do you mean, just me?" Willy replied, looking at her with confusion. He had forgotten that he was in Noodle's body and that she didn't know about this yet

"I'm sorry, I thought you were Willy," Y/n says.

Willy’s expression changes to one of concern. "Is everything alright?" he asks letting Y/n walk into the room and closing the door behind her. He watches as she relaxes thinking it’s just her and Noodle in the room. The two of them have known each other for about a year and Y/n feels a sense of responsibility for the kid. That's why she was so happy when Willy appeared in their lives and made Noodle feel like she had an older brother who cared about her. She loves watching the two of them having fun together and feels grateful to Willy for the happiness he brings to Noodle.

“Yeah, no, I just...” Y/n takes a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to say what she's been feeling. She can barely contain her nervousness as she paces around the room, spilling her thoughts to ‘Noodle’. “You know how I feel about Willy. And it keeps me awake at night. I know you said I should tell him the truth, but I’m too scared, how can you even imagine it?”

“Y/n, I don’t think it’s a good moment...” Willy tries to interrupt, but she's not having it. She's deep in her thoughts and can't seem to stop talking. She keeps pacing around the room without looking at him.

“Like am I supposed to just walk into his room and say ‘Oh hey, Willy, you know I think I’m deeply in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life by your side’?” She looks over at Noodle who is clearly shocked by what she just heard. "Noodle? You alright?" Y/n asks, concerned by the look on Noodle's face.

Willy finally gathers his senses and speaks up. "Oh, umm, yeah... I just... um," he whispers.

“You’re acting weird today. Did anything happened?” Y/n investigates her face not understanding what is wrong.

Willy stood in shock before her, trying to think of what to say and how to explain everything, but the racing of his heart and the happiness he felt were too distracting. Y/n had just confessed her feelings for him. The girl he was attracted to since their first meeting. She’s kind, brave, and always there for her friends. She's a constant source of comfort and support, and he can't imagine his life without her. All this time he kept quiet about his feelings, fearing that they might not be shared. He didn’t want to make things awkward between them or risk their friendship.

Suddenly, they heard a knock on the door, and the actual Noodle, who was still in Willy's body, walked into the room. Y/n stiffened up, trying to put on a casual appearance as she looked at the man in front of her. Willy could see now the way she was staring at him, as if he were the only thing in the universe for her. The real Noodle, still in his body, just stood there, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Y/n, there you are! I wanted to show you what Willy did with his chocolate this time before the magic wears off!" Noodle practically skipped over to her with excitement, forgetting that she was in Willy's body and lightly bumping her head with the chandelier.

Y/n looked at her with confusion. "What do you mean?"

Noodle pointed to her entire body with a proud expression. "It's me, Noodle! Willy wanted to make me taller, but accidentally made us swap bodies. Isn't that cool? He can even do something like this!" She turned to face her friend, who now looked like she’d seen a ghost. Or something even worse. Willy's face looked worried and apologetic as Y/n turned to look at him.

"Tell me you're joking," she said in a hushed voice.

“Listen, I tried to sa-“ Willy's voice was suddenly cut short as the room started spinning, the dizziness returning to his head. He tried to steady himself and finish his sentence, but it was impossible. He looked over at Noodle, who was holding onto her head looking at him understanding what’s about to happen. Y/n looked at both of them with worry and confusion, but before she could realise what had just happened – they were back to normal.

Noodle was beaming with happiness as she saw her reflection in the mirror. "I'm me again!" she exclaimed, not realizing the tension in the room. "Oh, it feels good to be me. Sorry, Willy, nothing personal," She said, continuing to ramble on without noticing the silence in the room.

“Noodle, give us a few minutes alone. Please” Willy's voice was soft, but firm, and she turned to see him still staring at Y/n who’s turned all pale looking back at him.

Noodle nods, completely oblivious to the gravity of the situation. "Sure thing!" she says, heading out of the room. Y/n watches as the door closes behind her friend and turns to Willy with a look of shock on her face. "Mind explaining what just happened?" she asks, her voice shaking slightly.

Willy takes a deep breath before answering. "Well, you see... I was experimenting with a new chocolate and uh... Noodle and I swapped bodies," he says, trying to keep his voice calm.

She stood there in shock, trying to process the information. All she could muster was a quiet "Oh." Willy took a deep breath before answering. "Yeah," he said softly. "About what you said earlier..."

"It was a joke," she said quickly. Willy could see the nervousness in her eyes as they darted around the room, trying to avoid his gaze. “Just a joke. Yes. Please forget it, I was just...”

"I love you too," Willy said with a soft smile on his face. She finally met his gaze and said a simple “Oh.” as an answer. “Yeah.” Is all he said before he leaned in and kissed her, feeling a sense of joy and relief washing over him. It was like all the pieces of his life had finally fallen into place, and he wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world.

#wonka 2023 #wonka #wonka reader #timothée chalamet #timothee x reader #idk what else #body swap au

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mins-fins · 9 months ago

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dal segno.

&&. you're in a car with a beautiful boy, but he's unfortunately not yours anymore.

pairing: xiao dejun x m!reader

genre: angst

warnings: implied sexual content, kind of toxic relationship, they are both so incredibly pathetic

word count: 1.2k

notes: hello this is a voiceless isa reporting, i am suffering with the most horrible sickness to ever be bestowed upon me (the common cold) and i was originally supposed to post this yesterday but i fell asleep in the middle of my writing process so yeah 👍 also i have a class in like an hour so i just wanna publish this now and be done with it 😿

you're asleep for a while.

sleeping in a car has never truly been your thing, ever since you were a kid, you could never ever fall asleep in a car even after how tired you were. the fact that you were able to doze off, even with the clear tiredness you exhibited, was odd.

you wonder what kind of change was in the air caused for you to finally doze off in the car..

when you wake up, it is not morning, which you honestly expect because you had only fallen asleep for a few minutes, you can tell because guanheng is still inside, chatting up with his friends or whatever.

if guanheng is still inside, that means the one person you do not want to see right now is still right beside you in the drivers seat.

dejun doesn't seem to register that you're now awake, his eyes closed as he rubs his temples, clearly stressed about something. it isn't until you shuffle in your seat, rubbing your eyes that he finally seems to acknowledge your presence, almost startled by how quiet you'd been.

"holy shit you scared me".

he places a hand on his chest, and you can tell he was genuinely surprised by your sudden awakening because he glances at you then glances away, very interested in the window it seems.

"sorry" you whisper. you feel as if you could cut the air in the car with a knife considering how thick it seems. "hi".

why do you say hi? why do you choose to greet him? you two know each other, you know each other very well, much more than you ever thought you'd know each other.

dejun also registers the awkwardness in the air, the two of you itch to escape the situation, but you both also don't want to be the first to leave. he gives a polite smile, finally staring directly at you. "hi" he greets back.

you have the urge to itch your hand, feeling insanely uncomfortable. a small sigh escapes your lips, and you make an effort to look down at the floor of the car instead. "heng still in there?"

dejun is clearly upset at how you changed the topic, but what else were you two supposed to do? greet each other a couple more times? it's all basically come to shit now. "yeah.. he practically knows everybody in that household, it's crazy".

he talks like he doesn't care much, you chalk it up to him being tired, forced to drive home his friend who has a million acquaintances, not to mention he's sitting right beside his ex boyfriend, the same ex boyfriend whose heart he broke in the same car no more than a few weeks ago.

he did it in an almost heartless way as well, he seemed to have no regard for you, the tears streaming down your cheeks must've seemed pathetic to him, the way you tried to get him to change his mind must've completely altered his opinion on you by then.

it's understandable why the two of you are so awkward, why there are no jokes between you, why instead of feeling grateful to be sitting beside such a pretty boy, your stomach curls in an uncomfortable way.

you glance over at him for a moment, watching as he picks his nails, even with the heartbreak he put you through, you can't deny how absolutely striking he is. dejun possesses a kind of beauty you don't think another person could ever display as well as he does.

you hate that he's so beautiful, a literal work of art, but was still the very one responsible for the days you spent feeling as if you weren't enough. he didn't even try to give you a good explanation for breaking off your seemingly bulletproof relationship, just said some bullshit like "we weren't working together y/n".

and yeah, your mad, you have every right to be mad.

it was never supposed to be more than a friday night hookup, nothing more than a stupid meetup orchestrated by a mutual friend of yours, you two should've never crossed over into having an actual relationship, because your demise was very expected.

"i don't know what you want from me".

"i don't want anything from you.." anymore, is what you want to add, but in fear of sounding even more pathetic than you look, you shut your mouth, crossing your arms. "there's nothing more to say, we're over and that's fine, i've gotten over it".

"y/n—"

"dejun" you don't want to hear him speak any more, because the longer he does the more you'll want to break down and cry. "you made your choice and i respect it, i don't want anything from you".

dejun looks hurt by your words, as if he's not the one who decided to break up with you. he's such an idiot, a beautiful, pathetic idiot. he slumps in his seat, as if you just delivered a punch straight to his gut.

you stop looking at him at this point, because you aren't going to be able to resist the urge to kiss him if you continue staring at his face. another wave of silence spreads between you two, and you want to leave so bad, but you can't, because then you'd have to deal with guanheng's fucking interrogations.

you hear dejun unbuckling his seatbelt beside you, at least he's leaving, it'll make everything just a little more bearable. you clear your throat, pretending the prior conversation didn't happen. "could you tell guanheng to make sure he gets back my copy of dracula from yangyang?"

dejun hums, but sighs. "y/n".

you wish you listened to your heart, but your mind was screaming at you to fucking look at him!

so you did, and you almost collapse right onto the floor. he's staring at you with such bewitched, lovestruck eyes, it's as if nothing bad ever happened between you two, as if you were still happy and in love with no issues whatsoever.

"stop doubting yourself.." he whispers, then he presses his lips to yours, it's as impulsive as it is stupid, because dejun is going to regret this the next day, you know he will.

you hate that you kiss him back, you hate how even though he broke your heart in this very place and left you crying in your bed. you should be ashamed of how easily you fall into his hands, you're constantly thinking optimistically, as if he won't just up and abandon you again.

when he separates from you, you almost want to pull him back, your hand fiddling with his shirt collar.

but for once, you listen to your head.

"i love you" he gives a sad smile, letting go of you and exiting the car.

you just sit there, face warm as you try to register what just happened. you watch dejun walk away, as you've done thousands of times before, you still don't feel any better, but the uncomfortable curl in your stomach has subsided for now.

if you just pretend that everything is all going to he okay, maybe it will!

oh xiao dejun, always breaking your heart and leaving you to pick up the pieces afterward.

#xiao dejun #xiaojun #wayv #nct #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #wayv drabbles #nct x reader #nct x male reader #wayv x reader #wayv x male reader #xiaojun imagines #xiaojun x reader #xiaojun x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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fiyrball6063 · 4 months ago

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Im still getting into gg but i love roboky 😁 tell me whats on ur mind roboky/robovenom wise ... or anything gg idk .. this is ur infodump pass

Ok this is so much longer than I thought it was gonna be. So. Peep the horrors if u dare

I GET THE INFODUMP PASS YAYYYYY (thank you) I’m… okay where do I even beginnn like… hmmm… I was recently was rewatching the bedman fight and I think it’s cute it looks like he’s overclocking and then turning into just a head reminds me of his victory emote from XX and it just made me smile idk how I didn’t process that on my first first watch… also GOD his animations are so. So cool. I personally much prefer the typical 2D animations and art than 3D renders for GG and I think Roboky is one of those character I will always just ADMIRE… his shapes are just so satisfying to me. I do love his 3D model in Xrd idk wtf typa battery acid he’s on but Jesus Christ he looks so good… it gives me hope that when he gets added to strive he will look even better ! BUT LIKE YEAH idk he has so many unique animations (thatre all archived and SO fun to gawk at) and i think he’s also just a character that is so fun to build upon in your own way (IE thinking of robot things he does)… he’s also just annoying as hell and i love it. OH ALSO I love his robotic voice in XX it’s so cute. Kinda sad they got rid of that tone in XRD but honestly I do really like both and I’m excited to see how it evolves later on….

As for Robovenom. Lord. Don’t even. Everyone look away… the way roboky and venom parallel eachother has genuinly caused me to just stare at my ceiling for hours. I have a playlist of songs that make me think of them and it’s just… IDK they have so much potential STILL expecially with the new chapter of life they’ve both found themselves entangled within… we have a human who has had the mindset and self deprivation to the extent he’s existing to fulfil orders and take nothing of his own desire into note and is existing day by day in his own unhappiness because that’s what he’s used to he doesn’t even think he deserves happiness. then we have a robot who has a very assertive personality and although may be harsh he prides his appearance and values dreams and what the future CAN hold and deep down. Does like what humanity provides… goddd. They both have that hidden soft spot, they were both built as killing machines, what more can ya ask for. It’s strange how… soft (?) he seems towards venom in XRD but idk idk rips my skin off I think they see themselves in the other even if not realizing it at first. They’re like two sides of a coin. And it’s crazy roboky didn’t know venom was literally going to kill himself in the bedman fight until venom just states it outright. MANN venom ily so much god I’m (trying) keeping this roboky centric and I’ve already rambled so long my phones lagging when typing but… man… roboky and venom learning to live together is so nice. They’re both the first people to show eachother decency? Kindness? Understanding??? Humanity???? I don’t even know it’s some Secret third thing… Jesus this is long but. You best believe I could go on for so much longer just about robovenom

#there’s something so lovely about venom getting reminders of his own needs and that he IS human and not a machine from Robo my #they make me insane ur honour.#fiyr rambles #I’m not rlllyyy good at converting my feelings into words but I will. literally not stop trying

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desceros · 1 year ago

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Requesting a reader watching bayverse donnie work. Platonic or romantic, up to you, just thinking the way you write visual poetry would work good with explaining Donnie’s little work motions.

bay donnie, my beloved [strokes the picture of him i keep in a locket] donatello/reader; gn reader; rated t

Donnie is good with his hands.

He’s also a sweetheart who patiently tolerates you spending literal hours of your life staring at him, chin propped up on your hands as you watch his work their magic. He’s repairing some piece of tech off his shell that had apparently gotten battered in their last tussle, and it looks like actual witchcraft from where you’re sitting.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” you gush as he glides some sort of metallic piece into place like it isn’t the size of a pencil eraser, the tiny little tweezers looking comically small in his hands and yet acting like an extension of him.

Donnie huffs a laugh, glancing briefly at you out of the corner of his eyes, his gaze warm and intimate even for its short span. “What brought that on, all of the sudden?”

Adoringly, you watch him weave wires into place as easily as Raph knits those cute little scarves for everyone. It’s like he’s not even trying, you think, fully entranced. The electronic world at his hands is a tiny little microcosm of a universe, and he, its god for how effortlessly he creates and moves its parts. You think of all his tech, all around you; how easy it is to forget the mastery required to pull it all together, to maintain it, to treat machine as a medium of art.

“You’re just… amazing,” you repeat, helpless to say anything more without dropping a complete dissertation on the totality of space Donatello has taken as his own in your soul. “The way you can… Just make things. Out of nothing. It’s. It’s really incredible.”

“Is that why you’re always in here?” he asks, lips quirked up into a little smile that feel a bit like a tease. “To watch me make things?”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt that you’re easy to look at, either,” you confess, twirling a finger along the surface of his desk shyly. It’s not the first time you’ve flirted with him, and it’s not the first time you’ve watched him bloom under your attention; but it’s new, enough, that it takes a bit of bravery, still.

“That’s good to hear. I was worried you were only in here for my tech, for a second there,” he says, and only the knowledge that he knows it isn’t true keeps you from swan diving into a lecture about otherwise.

Licking your lips, you slide your palm over your mouth as if muffling your next sentence will make it less dangerous to say. “I… could be in here just for you. If… you wanted me to. If… If you’d let me.”

“Let you?” he echoes in surprise, finally looking away from the delicate electrical work in his hands so his hazel gaze meets you full on. “You do realize you’re the only other person allowed in here, right?”

Butterflies catching in your throat, you shift your weight from one hip to the other and swallow. “I-I know. But—”

Donnie narrows his eyes as he studies you, leaving you feel a bit like a specimen under a microscope. Still, you let him, because any amount of his attention feels good, even if it means peeling off your skin and letting him see the way your heart has changed to the shape of him.

“—But I want to know,” you admit quietly, pressing the pads of your fingers to your lips before they fall to the table to trace anxious shapes. “…That it’s different. For me.”

Donnie’s face smooths a little as he understands what you’re asking of him, and smooth as silk, he dips in close and brushes his lips against yours. It’s gentle enough to make you gasp, shocked that something can be so soft and still raise sensation, every hair on your arms standing at attention from the sheer intimacy of it. Leaning in, you seek more, slotting your mouth under his and inviting him closer to your hummingbird heartbeat.

His hands cup your jaw, pulling you towards him, holding you in place as he tilts his head and sinks further into you. He tastes sweet, you think dreamily, sighing out and curling your fingers on the edge of his plastron.

“It’s different,” he murmurs against your mouth, his lips catching yours for how much he can’t bear to pull away now that he’s gotten started; like now that he’s allowed himself to have you, he’s never going to let you go. The thought makes you smile and laugh, because oh, how could he ever think you’d want to leave?

“You’re amazing,” you sigh out again, and this time, he laughs, his hands finding you instead of his tools.

#ask tag #tmnt #bayverse #my fic #[clangs pots and pans together] i love donnie in case anyone forgot in the last five minutes that i loudly exclaimed how much i love donnie #donatello/reader #rating: t

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annawayne · 1 month ago

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Hello there!

I've been looking through your page for a while and I LOVE your art! Every piece is so stunning and detailed and beautiful and I don't have enough words to explain how I could stare at each piece for hours.

I'm a traditional artist (as far as skill goes I'd say I'm intermediate) looking to get into digital art and could use some help from a professional. I have no idea where to begin but I really wanna be like you someday!!! If you have any tips or anything I'd appreciate it a lot!

Anon T///T

You literally made me like this, and it's not even an exaggeration

I'm honestly so, so grateful for your words and I'm just speechless that you think SO highly of my arts T^T (even tho I couldn't call myself a professional...) And I want to thank you for telling me this and also for your time observing my drawings! I honestly try to put a lot into it, and I'm just so happy to know people take time to explore it, thank you!

As for your question, you know, it's quite ironic because I also started with traditional art.

And the best advice from me to you, first of all, don't be afraid. I honestly spent a lot of time being scared to start digital because I was always feeling "no, I should be better in traditional, so I can start digital". In fact, it's TWO absolutely different fields. No doubt, they have the same basic ground, however, the approaches that define your creativity flow differ, and that's why I want to advise you the next things, and, if I'm being honest, these words I wish I said to my past self, so I hope it'll help you, at least!

1.Your traditional skills are valuable and irreplaceable, that you gained by your hard work, patience and dedication, and it deserves a lot of appreciation - you went so far, anon, and congratulations on that! But... In digital art, these skills now have a new meaning: some of them, like basic understanding of anatomy, lightning, composition and work with colours, are incredibly useful, but everything else should be now renewed. It doesn't mean that your skills don't have any practical use, but it should be now reflected and fit into the new perspective. Starting from the way you hold your stylus to the way you work with volumes in your art, all of it should be now adjusted to digital, however, I'm telling you all of it not to scare, but only to support you, since when you try to adjust to these new rules, there's always some discomfort, you would compare with the way you drew in traditional and eventually, the result won't be the same as it was in traditional and it could discourage you. But it's absolutely not your problem! Any change requires some time to get used to the new circumstances, with moving from traditional art to digital - all the same! So, my first advice is give yourself time to get used to the new environment and the new challenges. With time it'll get better, no doubt about it!

2. Use ALL the possibilities of the digital software. Flip your canvas, use a lot of different layers, layer modes, use Liquify tool, transformation and move around the selected part of the drawing, and don't think it's "cheating". No! It's all of your new instruments and it's all here to help you.

3. Be prepared that your colour palette will be differently visible from different devices - laptop, phone, tablet - all of it will have slightly different colorization/saturation, so when you play with the colours, please remember to check it sometimes on different gadgets. I was a victim of it, too, and some of my arts have a very bad work with colour volumes, which resulted in a colorization mess...

I think that it's one of the most important things to start with, and especially - don't be afraid, anon! You're much more capable than you think you are, and digital drawing is just another step in your creative journey!

I apologise if this advice was not so helpful and maybe you expected something else, but if you want advice on something more precise, please ask me and I'll do my best to help as much as possible and if I'm competent enough.

Thank you once again for your kind words, I honestly appreciate it so, so much!

#answered ask #ask #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art

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eijirousbestie · 2 years ago

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I’m not sure if my request have been sent to you or not but here we ge. Bakugou drawing with reader this time just quite and pace a day later he would notice reader putting his drawing in a nice and viable place in her wall like she is proud of him , im craving for some fluff🥹

Yes I got your last request too!! I try to crank these new stories out at least twice a month cuz of daily life but I got around to it today🫵🏽 I’ll combine ur last request with this one since it’s kinda the same premise. As always thank y’all for reading and I hope you enjoy! If y’all have any special requests PLS SHARE THEM WITH ME!! I’d love to write them<33

“Stick to art.”

painting together

peaceful silence

Bakugou is actually good at painting

may or may not have based the painting off of one I actually made…

* * *

“For the love of god will you stop hogging all the white paint?”

“Quit whinin’ will ya? I’ll hand it back just give me a sec here.” You in fact did not get the paint back in a few seconds. With the way he’s got it in a death grip you’re not entirely sure it’ll survive the trip back to you.

“Katsuki, your knuckles are literally turning white from how hard you’re squeezing the tube. You don’t even need that much.”

“You know the more you talk the less “enjoyable” this bright idea of yours is.” He places the tube of paint down on the ground next to your knee.

You both are in your dorm room, your usual tarp covering the flooring under you from any stray paint splatters. It was your grand idea to have the both of you paint together. Actually, it was to prove to Bakugou that painting wasn’t as easy as he chucked it up to be. It started with his comments about your art earlier in the week. You were working on another project for class and spent hours painting and refining the details. The boisterous blonde disrupted your thoughts in place of his own. Why the hell’s this taking so long? It’s just an apple, he’d question. To him, a painting should never take more than at least two hours tops. If anything, watching you paint for hours on end was the coolest thing to him because how could someone have that much patience? He’d never admit it though. And now here you both are, having a painting session in your room to prove to him it’s not as easy as he thinks.

Grabbing the now freed white paint you add a small glob of it to your palette, mixing the specific color you needed. You both have already been painting for almost an hour. It’s Saturday and you didn’t have anything better to do. Before you both started, you’d searched Pinterest for painting ideas. Scrolling through various cartoon characters, Bakugou settles on painting a simple white skull against a black background. The reference is such a him choice. You chose yours a little while after him but refused to tell him your idea. He rolled his eyes and started sketching on the small canvas you’d given him, occasionally asking you if his proportions were accurate.

You both had fallen into a quiet peace. The windows drawn to let the last bits of sun in. The soft sounds of your music thrumming through your small speaker. The slosh of water being dirtied up in solo cups as Bakugou cleans his brush. Just all around good vibes and harmless bickering here and there. You swear you’ve never seen him so relaxed, other than the time he fell asleep while you were drawing him. You look up from your canvas and catch a glimpse of Bakugou’s face. Trimmed eyebrows pinched together in a stare of pure concentration, his lips slightly tucked in as he works on the details of the skull.

His painting technique is quite impressive. Understandably not to your level, but if he took art seriously he could be one hell of an artist. The way he changes the pressure of his grip when outlining the teeth of the skull has you eyeing his piece in astonishment. Where the hell did he learn that from?

“You gonna keep starin’ at my shit or are you actually gonna give your input.” Your gaze lifts from his painting to him. You give a slightly confused look.

“Wait what.”

“Asked if I was doing this line stuff right but you looked lost as hell. Told you to leave that dope alone.” You roll your eyes.

“Ya mama. And yeah you’re doing it right. Just don’t make em too thick.” He side eyes you so hard you’re sure his eyes are about to roll out of his head.

“You’re lucky I’m goin’ to therapy.”

“Aren’t we all.” You give a brief chuckle and continue to work on your painting. The light pink background against the chosen figures ties the whole piece together. A particular song plays from the shuffle queue of your music library. It’s one that you and Bakugou both know. You quietly hum along, bobbing your head. Your ears pick up a rather deep tremor that joins your humming. He’s humming along too, eyes laser focused on his work. In the most non-corny way possible, you try to harmonize with him, doing decent until you miss a note halfway through. He makes sure you’re aware he noticed.

“Stick to art.” He snickers, shoulders softly shaking.

“Mind your business.”

“I’ll do what I wanna do.” He retorts. He’s so sassy and for what.

Another couple hours pass and you’ve both finished your paintings. Katsuki lifts his painted skull with pride, his ego through the roof. It’s actually a pretty solid painting. Albeit, simple, but not bad at all.

“Goddamn Kats, you didn’t do half bad.” You chide with a grin.

“Damn right. Told you this shit’s easy. Just gotta get over gettin stuck in the details.”

“That’s funny because you asked for my help with line work but go off I guess.”

“You’re just a resource. Gotta use what I can to get where I need to be.”

“Damnnn ouch. That’s all I am to you? Katsuki I’m hurt.” You feign heartbreak as you dramatically hold your hand over your heart.

“Idiot. You gonna show me what you ended up paintin’ or not?” You nod, grabbing your canvas and flipping it over to show him your piece.

His eyes are met with an image of two bears, one white, one brown. Their cheeks are smushed together in some sort of side hug. The brown bear does not look amused. He clicks his tongue and tilts his head.

“You really love cutesy shit don’t you?”

You shrug. “Not my fault the Pinterest bears were cute. Stay mad but I’m in my bag.”

“The fuck’s that even mean-”

“Shhh you’re being a hater right now.” He shakes his head as he chuckles deeply, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

“Yeah you’re really lucky I’m in therapy.” You laugh with him and reach for his painting that he left on the ground.

“You gonna leave this behind after you worked so hard on it?” You question. He shrugs.

“Don’t really got a place for it. I ain’t really into displaying things like you. You keep it or something.” You hold onto both paintings as he announces his departure to his room.

The next morning, he wakes up and starts his usual routine. Shower, brushing his teeth and skincare. The shuffle of his house shoes fills the quiet of the halls as he journeys to your room to make sure you’re up to go on your Sunday morning run together. He knocks once, twice and gets no reply. He jiggles the doorknob and he finds it unlocked, meaning you’re probably not inside. He opens your door and looks around to find no you. But what he does find makes his face go warm. There on the wall adjacent to the door, hangs his skull painting right next to yours. A ghost of a smile graces his lips as he shakes his head, closing the door to your room to go and grab you for your run.

bonus: the paintings y’all made

Bakugou’s:

Yours: *optional*

fun fact this is actually a painting I made a few months ago😭

#bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki #mha headcanons #mha drabbles #mha x reader #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou fic #bakugou x you

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inbarfink · 1 year ago

Text

Okay so there’s a lot of DHMIS fans out there who try to rank or analyze the Teachers and which ones are worse and which are better, and I thought I might as well throw my own proverbial hat in the proverbial ring and give my own take on the matter.

I’m going to go over all of the (central) Teachers in the DHMIS Web Show + DHMIS TV Show and give my own read of how ‘bad’ they are. I’ll be looking primarily at their focus episode where they actually act as teachers. I know a lot of the Webshow teachers came back in a much more chill and friendly role in the TV Show, but for me the things they did while they were acting as teachers is more important than how they act on their ‘off hours’ (if those even count as the same people in the same continuity)

And obviously, this is going to be a very personal sort of reading, very much based on my interpretation of DHMIS and its themes.

So let’s start with the Teacher who started it all! Sketchbook!

So I am gonna… try and start with the pros. So, before Sketchbook comes into the scene, our Trio was just sitting very, very still around the breakfast table. As per the creators’ own word, this is meant to show that our trio lacks creativity. So, learning how to Get Creative is a lesson that, in general terms, our trio could use to learn. Plus, not all of her lessons are that bad. Like, imagining silly faces on oranges, seeing images in clouds, using hair to express oneself - that’s all… alright I guess. And she can sometimes be entertaining and engaging to our trio, even including the not-easily-impressed Red Guy!

Sketchbook: Now, when you stare at the clouds in the sky, don't you find it exciting? Red, Duck, and Yellow Guy: No. Sketchbook: Come on, take another look! Yellow Guy: Oh wait! Together: I can see a hat! I can see a cat! I can see a man with a baseball bat! Together: I can see a dog! I can see a frog! I can see a ladder leaning on a log!

But, as we all know, the devil’s in the details. Alongside her kinda-alright lessons in creative thinking, she hides a pretty strong overcontrolling tendencies.

She has no way to engage her students when they go ‘off-script’ by not being immediately impressed with her lesson - outside of just vaguely telling them they’re ‘not thinking right’ -

Duck Guy: I don't see what you mean. Sketchbook: 'Cause you're not thinking creatively!

Or just ignoring their words entirely.

Sketchbook: I use my hair to express myself! Red Guy: That sounds really boring. Sketchbook: I use my hair to express myself!

And she clearly has a pretty strong idea of what is ‘good’ or ‘correct’ creativity. Making her shut Yellow Guy’s creative expressions down if he’s ‘doing it wrong’ according to her inexplicable restrictive standards.

And, well, this seems to be the Point where my opinion diverges quite a bit from that of the majority of the fandom… But, I’ve seen people say that the Sketchbook’s ‘never be creative again’ line proves that she might not be that evil, cause, well, look at all the horrifying shit the trio did while they were Creative! Not wanting this to happen is a perfectly understandable and moral position! And shows that she can actually be a responsible and moral teacher!

Well…that’s not my interpretation.

Yeah, the Creative scene is creepy and gross. But… I dunno if it represents something truly harmful and evil going on. Yeah they were using organs as decorations and baked that awful meat cake but… but while that gore is Gross, there’s not really the implication that they killed or harmed something to get it, you know?

I think the Creative scene is not just our characters ‘going CRAAAZY’, I think it’s more like… both literally and metaphorically, the characters are being Creative in those kinda weird and off-beat ways. Expressing their creativity and feelings in messy and odd ways found in art pieces much like… well, Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared itself.

That awful gore cake is almost a perfect metaphor for DHMIS, actually. A pleasant childish facade revealing an inner layer of gore and horror.

They’re just making art that’s maybe a little gross. And maybe a little scary. And maybe a little too raw and visceral for themselves to handle. But that’s not inherently a bad thing. You know, even if it is pretty messy and they are kinda emotionally rattled from their own creative expressions, that might be something they would need a guiding hand in channeling in healthy and better ways…

But certainly not just “well, don’t you ever do this again”.

Now let's all agree to never be creative again.

For me this is just an extension of pouring oil all over Yellow’s Clown Painting. The Trio is still Doing Creativity Wrong by the Sketchbook’s standards - and she has decided they are doing it so Wrong that they shouldn’t be Creative ever again. It’s basically equivalent to some sort of hypothetical art teacher who watches DHMIS and goes “this is so creepy! I don’t think the people who made this should make art ever again!”. I think it’s clear why this kind of person would be a bad teacher when it comes to teaching art or anything to do with creativity!

Well, look at the time, looks like we should move on to...

Tony the Talking Clock! Okay, so I think… Pretty much all of the pros I was giving the Sketchbook are lessened with Tony. It certainly feels like there is an escalation with the Badness of the teachers going on. While one can argue that the trio needed to learn about the basics of Creativity - just not from a person like the Sketchbook - I think it’s harder to make the same argument about Tony’s very basic Time lesson. Like, before he shows up Red Guy and Duck just make a super-generic comment about time -

Red Guy: Come on, guys, stop mucking around. We only have five minutes until our show is on. Duck Guy: It's not enough time!

And if you just compare the way the trio participate in Tony’s song versus Sketchbook’s song��.

Sketchbook: I see a silly face! Yellow Guy: Wow! Sketchbook: Walking along and smiling at me! Duck Guy: I don't see what you mean. Sketchbook: 'Cause you're not thinking creatively!

Yellow Guy: This tree that is old, has circles inside! Tony: This tree that is older has shriveled and died. Duck Guy: The apple that's fresh is ripe to the core!

They don’t really appear confused by the concept of time or surprised by Tony’s explanation of time. Red Guy asks one question (“And then what happened after the olden days?”) but that just might be out of politeness. It all seems to be stuff that they already understand about time. And he was doing this while the trio had other things planned.

But we don't really want to, we're going to miss our show.

And he just whisked them away on a musical adventure repeating ideas they already knew. So even if he didn’t do all of the Bad Shit that he did, he’d still be wasting their time.

But of course, we can’t forget about all the Bad Shit he does!

First and foremost, he’s got the same Issues as Sketchbook with his students going ‘off-script’, but he is even less patient. Almost immediately resorting to name-calling and violence.

Don't be STUPID, friends!

There's a time and a place for mucking around!

And in addition to just being a very simplistic view of Time, his lesson also contains some stuff that’s closer to straight-up inaccuracies. Namely his overly-romanticized presentation of both the past and the future.

And once they start actually questioning the lesson, and asking questions more advanced than he was prepared too, at first he deflects in a similar manner to the Sketchbook -

Duck Guy: But when did it start? Yellow Guy: And when will it stop? Tony: Time is important and I am a clock.

But then he quickly resorts to shutting them down with his loud beeping, until their ears bleed. Just a more indirect form of violence. It’s clear that his idea of ‘teaching’ is not one that encourages actual curiosity about the world, it’s just about following and repeating his points. And while the Sketchbook had a similar worldview, she never seemed to have more than Words and Oil to shut her students down, Tony has Time on his hands.

Namely the infamous final scene of the episode, where the group withers away and dies.

Here, there is no doubt that what is happening is harmful and is causing them suffering, and while Tony denies it, the Trio seems to believe that he is responsible for it. Considering the amount of seeming-reality-warping he was capable of during the rest of his musical number, it’s not that implausible.

It’s unclear WHY he did that, I think it’s most likely yet another way to punish them for not respecting him and his lesson, and for asking questions they shouldn’t. It’s also possible he just has a sadistic streak and tormenting them was always his goal, but considering how much his Control Freak aspect was emphasized during the rest of the episode, I am kinda leaning towards the former option.

Also in general “teacher bad because they are a control freak who ties too much of their ego into being smarter than their students” is more compelling to me than “teacher bad because they love cruelty”

Oh! did I just mention... LOVE?

And now, Shrignold (and the rest of the Love Cult!)

Okay, so let’s cut to the chase here. The thing about Shrignold is that he’s literally a cult recruiter. And that fact invariably corrupts any sort of ‘positive’ I could possibly say about him.

Like, yeah, Yellow Guy was very emotionally distressed and in need of a pick-me-up and Shrignold’s lesson seems to be comforting him - at least at first. But that’s less of a matter of his Lesson having some useful elements as it is a matter of Shrignold finding an emotionally vulnerable and isolated person to prey on - because he’s a cult recruiter.

And yeah, some of Shringnold’s initial explanations of love weren’t all bad and they only turned restrictive and Weird later. But that’s because his whole strategy is to sell Yellow Guy on Love as a general concept representing happiness and togetherness -

But you know it doesn't have to be; I hate you, you hate me. Cause even though we're different, it doesn't make a difference and we can live in harmony. I know you don't know who I am, but maybe I can hold your hand and together we can understand about love!

Shrignold: To love each other is to care, to be kind… Flower: …and to share! Rabbit: I love my friend, so I give them a hug! Purple Guy: I made this for you cause I love you so much! Beaver: I love my pet cause he's a crab.

And once he is committed to the idea that he needs Love to be happy, that is when Shrignold starts to conflate that general concept of Love with a more restrictive one and start shoving Heteronormativity down the child’s throat. Because he’s a cult recruiter.

Shrignold: No, no, no, that's not how it's done. You must save your love for your special one! Yellow Guy: My special one? Unicorn: Everyone has a special one.

Beaver: He's made for her… Unicorn: …and she's made for him! Rabbit: And that's the way it's always been. Beaver: And it's perfect. Purple Guy: And it's pure. Shrignold: And it's protected with a ring. Tree: That's the way that old love goes. Unicorn: Like a flower it grows and grows! Purple Guy: And it's forever. Flower: And forever.

And yeah, Shrignold is one of the only teachers who never loses his temper with the students, even when they’re doing something that is ‘wrong’ in his eyes. But that’s because he is trying to Lovebomb Yellow Guy in every meaning of the word. Because he’s a cult recruiter.

There’s a level where I’m, like, ‘well does that make him that textually different from all the other Teachers in the show?” I mean, you can very well argue that Sketchbook didn’t have a ‘few decent points in her lesson before it turned sinister’ - she was just trying to make them follow her ideas of creativity by getting them excited about the idea of being Creative in general and then narrowing the focus into just the creative expressions that she liked.

Buuut… this is still more obviously textually what’s going on when it comes to Shrignold. And the fact that he seems to be intentionally trying to isolate Yellow Guy from his friends and preying on him when he’s especially emotionally vulnerable, trying to manipulate his emotions and decide for him what's he feeling and why

Yellow Guy: But what is love, is it in the sky? Cloud: No it's a feeling, deep inside. Yellow Guy: Because I'm hungry? Shrignold: No, you're lonely. I can see it in your eyes.

Just gives him that extra edge of Sinister. Tony might be more obviously violent, but something about Shrignold and his friends’ passive-aggressive manipulation of Yellow Guy that feels even more dangerous.

So yeah, Shrignold’s lesson was self-contradictory and nonsensical, he keeps reinforcing obviously wrong falsehoods about relationships and emotions, he condescends to his student when he’s just trying to apply his lesson. But most importantly, he’s a cult recruiter.

And also probably homophobic.

I don't have a clever segway this time but anyway, here's...

Colin the Computer!

So while ‘Creativity’ and ‘Love’ featured the characters arguably needing to learn the Lesson (just not specifically from these terrible teachers) and ‘Time’ featured the characters just kinda minding their own business before being pulled into a totally unnecessary lesson - ‘Computers’ add a new wrinkle in the situation. In this episode, the characters are explicitly unquestionably interested in learning - just not about the subject the teacher has come to teach.

If you wanna talk about DHMIS as a metaphor for an education system that forces children to conform and recite information mindlessly while punishing their genuine curiosity - you really can’t find a better example. The Trio was practically seeking a lesson this time, but their will was overridden because that is not what they were supposed to learn.

And with the fact that they were robbed from learning about the world in favor of computers could be a metaphor for people isolating themselves from the ‘real world’ by focusing on technology. Or, to go more in line with the themes of DHMIS and how I interpret them - a metaphor for the internet and digital culture spreading misinformation and thus distorting one’s understanding of the world.

And not only is Colin taking the Trio away from a topic they actually sincerely want to learn about - his lesson is about as uselessly overly-simplistic as Tony’s. Like Red Guy said, they already have a computer - and it actually seems a bit more advanced than Colin is.

So it’s probable that they actually know all about the Wonders of Computers. The vibe I get from Colin’s song is that Duck and Yellow Guy are kinda dazzled by Colin’s bells and whistles, but Red Guy’s bored reaction is the correct one - there really is nothing new to learn here.

If anything, Colin is limiting their information of the digital world by shoving them into this infinite feedback loop of doing the same three things over and over again. Rather than the countless other things you could do in the digital world (including, you know, learning more about the world).

Colin also tends to ignore questions that are Inconvenient for him to acknowledge, constantly talks over his students…

Red Guy: Oh, maybe you could help us answer this question. "What is the biggest thing--" Colin: Clever! I'm very clevery guy. Yellow Guy: Wow!

…and there is his infamous freakout.

The notable thing for me is that just before that moment he himself already got all up in the personal space of his students. He’s a hypocrite, he thinks that he’s allowed to do whatever he wants to the Trio but they should respect him. Just another variation of that egotistical prideful streak that Tony also showed.

Also, I feel like a lot of people tend to kinda gloss over his bombardment of questions just before that freakout.

Colin: Great! Great news! Now before we begin our journey, I need to get some information from you! What's your name? Where do you live? What do you like to eat?

But to me this is clearly, like, a reference to websites collecting data from their users to sell to advertisers and suchlike. Colin is trying to pull the trio into using him more and more so he could spy on them and sell their data or whatever is the DHMISverse equivalent of that is.

But his big episode climax breakdown by the end is… a bit complicated. Like I said, I think the climax of ‘Creativity’ is both caused by our protagonists and is mostly benign - while the climaxes of Eps 2 + 3 are under the control of the teachers (Tony sped up time to punish his Students, Shrignold is a cult recruiter). But with ‘Computers’… I think what’s going on is Colin’s fault but not necessarily under Colin’s control.

Like, what’s happening here is that the digital world is getting overloaded due to Colin’s endless and repetitive lesson, right? He wanted to keep them in his digital world as much as possible, and when keeping their attention constantly focused on his digital wonders became too much for him - he started to glitch. It’s his fault, since it’s driven by his own ego and control-freak nature (and desire to harvest their data), and I don’t know if he’s necessarily feeling bad about that - but it is distinctive from Tony actively and knowingly punishing them.

(Also I know some people say that he intentionally caused Red Guy’s head to explode somehow and killed him at the end but considering he is unscathed in the next two episodes I am choosing to read it as Red Guy simply having his mind metaphorically blown)

So while Colin (at least Webshow Continuity Colin) is absolutely a Bastard, this is the first case where it is hard for me to say there is an escalation in the Terribleness of the teachers?? Maybe it’s just my personal biases talking? like, is spreading misinformation to manipulate you to join a cult better or worse than spreading misinformation to manipulate you into spending all your time on social media so he can monitor, harvest and sell your data? I can at least see the argument that the latter is worse?

And I do think the intention is to continue the escalation, considering that up next is…

Lamb Chop and the Rest of the Healthy Band!

Okay, so, I think it’s pretty clear by now that I’m doing this list with an attempt to prioritize actually evaluating the Teachers as teachers. You know, how bad their lessons are, how mean they are to the students, who much their behavior discourages actual curiousity or creative thinking… But, well, with these guys - there’s kind of a big elephant in the room about it.

Like, yes, their lesson is basically self-contradictory nonsense, they do nothing but ignore and override their students’ words and desire, and they don’t even seem particularly good at the ‘entertainment’ part of ‘edutainment’ - their song does nothing but annoy and distress the puppets for the most part. I mean, the circumstances around the song are probably a bigger factor but it certainly doesn’t help it’s so disjointed and chaotic.

But all of this feels kinda small potatoes (small potatoes make your teeth go gray!) against the fact they had one of their students killed and force-fed to another!

And unlike the thing with Tony, this doesn’t seem like a punishment for misbehaving (at least not on their specific lesson), it seems like Duck was doomed to die since the episode began.

It feels more like the Healthy Band was sent here to distract the puppets from Red’s disappearance and Duck’s oncoming demise over any attempt in education, even a very misinformed and misguided one.

But also, yeah, their level of education is quite bad and the way they treat their students even when they’re not killing them is very shitty. It's just kinda the culmination of all of the badness we already seen so I don't really have anything new to say about that.

Don’t murder your own students. That’s bad.

Anyways!

Lamp!

Lamp might be a bit harder to judge, because despite ‘officially’ being the main Teacher in Ep 6, he basically has like, a total of a scene-and-a-half to really show off his lesson. But… even in this scene-and-a-half he really demonstrates that he is a terrible teacher.

Much like the Healthy Band, he totally ignores and overrides his students… urn, student’s adamant refusal to join in on his lesson. Which is espacially obvious this time as Yellow is just TERRIFIED through the whole lesson.

And similar to Tony, he punishes Yellow for ‘misbehaving’ in a terribly cruel manner.

And there’s one more thing unique to him, and that is that the subject of his lesson is even more ludicrous than normal.

How can you be sleepy if you don't know how to have dreams?

It’s not something like ‘what are dreams’, but specifically ‘how to have dreams’. There were already a few lessons in DHMIS that seemed to teach the students stuff they already knew (or at the very least, stuff that they knew more/as much about as the teachers did) but now we’re really moving into the territory of things no one needs to learn. Just another way to demonstrate the continued degradation of the teachers even with Lamp's limited screentime and also this time no one gets murdered.

And now, let’s pull the plug on the Webshow Teachers…

And start up the TV Teachers with…

Briefcase! Again, I will start with whatever pros I can find… I think you can argue the Trio at least needed some sort of lesson about jobs? In the sense that Duck at least wanted to do something with his time - and also Yellow thought his welch was a ‘Job’. So I think that the Trio could probably use a lesson about what jobs are, just you know… not from this asshole.

Because while Briefcase isn’t as actively punishing or hostile as some of the DHMIS Web Teachers, he is incredibly misleading - first presenting an idealized version of the working world…

you can be anything you want to do It's totally up to you

Presenting work as a wonderland of infinite choices, including artistic pursuits…

But also publicly shaming his own brother for trying to chase his own career aspirations because they’re not successful at the moment.

And then trapping our Three of Us in a drab, unrewarding and utterly superfluous job.

He might not be as big of a jerk as some of the Webshow Teachers but he’s certainly pretty condescending - and he adds a new wrinkle into the wide tapestry of Teacher Awfulness: he is intentionally misleading.

Like, okay. This is kind of up for interpretation. But to me it feels like most of the teachers we’ve seen so far are true believers in their bullshit. Maybe not the Healthy Band or Lamp due to just how incoherent their lessons are and how much they’re seemingly motivated to just distract/punish their students. But even with them I’m not sure, the forces behind them might be more actively malicious, but the Teachers themselves could be just warped enough that they believe they make sense.

But this isn’t the vibe I get from Briefcase. I mean, there’s his blatant broad-daylight hypocrisy with Unemployed Brendon. And… he seems to be fully aware that he’s trapping them in Peterson's and Sons and Friends Bits & Parts Limited - doing the exact opposite of what his song says by forcing them into one of the least desirable workplaces he has access to. I feel like he must know that his song is just a way to entice suckers to give their life to the Capitalism Machine.

Like, y’know, maybe in his mind it was “it’s for their own good, they need to have jobs! Any jobs! And that’s the only one they’re good for!” but he certainly doesn’t believe ‘you can be anything you want to be’.

Especially when all that’s needed to get them back home is for him to finish his song, and yet he instead watches over quietly in disguise until Duck accidentally uncovers him. So while he might not be directly responsible for everything that happened to the trio over the factor, he’s at the very least complicit in it.

Was he planning to wait until they all retire before finishing his song? Was he planning to have them all die from old age at Petersons? Did he pull them out due to Yellow’s workplace accident or just because Duck ruined his cover?

Not to mention the way he pulled them into and back from that Time Hole proves his general emotional callousness, especially when you consider the effect this whole thing had on Yellow Guy.

My hand... My child...

Nor does it seem like he cares about his pound being lodged in Duck’s eye, which reinforces the idea he would’ve just let Yellow Guy bleed out and die in his retirement party if Duck hadn’t forced him out.

Speaking of Death…

Coffin

So Coffin’s the guy who really starts the trend of DHMIS TV Teachers being… different from their Webshow Equivalents. Both in the sense that they tend to be less actively and obviously malicious and in the sense that they tend to suffer some sort of Terrible Fate - this, combined with the main trio themselves proving they are capable of some Fucked Up Shit, make them more sympathetic to the audience. For a lot of people, folks like Coffin are actually pretty decent teachers.

My opinion is… a bit more complicated. Now, it is true that he showed up offering an important and necessary service to the trio - he’s basically a funeral director who got summoned because someone died. While he can be a bit of a jerk and that’s Bad-

This level of jerkiness is, like, the maximum he reaches when even Duck pees inside him. Compared to basically every other teacher and even our protagonists, that makes him remarkably even-tempered. Even the more seemingly-fucked-up stuff he did - like removing Duck’s organs and y’know, sealing him underground forever while he’s still conscious - seem to be pretty normal for Dead people in this bizarre world.

So yeah, I do generally agree that Coffin is not nearly as bad the teachers we’ve had before and he certainly did not deserve to get pissed in and then die, but…

The important thing to remember, from my perspective, is that Coffin isn’t just a Funeral Director. He’s still supposed to be a teacher, who teaches the trio about death. And judging him from this metric, he did an abysmal job. Literally all of the troubles in this episode; from Red and Yellow’s emotional anguish, their shitty treatment of Stain Edwards to, again, poor Coffin himself getting pissed in and smashed to bits - those all stem from the same root cause. Which is that our Main Trio just doesn’t know shit about dealing with Death.

Out of the Three of Them, Red Guy seems to be the only one who’s mostly aware of what Death even means and even then only from the perspective of the deceased - he had absolutely no idea how to deal with the grief of losing Duck. TEACHING the Trio about Death IS supposed to be Coffin's responsibility. And instead of making sure they actually understand what is going on, he pretty much immediately roped them into the excitement of preparing for the Big Day, Big Day - leading to pretty much every conflict in the episode.

Plus, the funeral he arranged (the part of his job he seemed to actually put effort into), had a bunch of inaccuracies (most notably the David Blunder)... And he might be the one responsible for sending the mourners to the house with the Make a New Friend Kit. All of these - seeing Duck being memorialized inaccurately, and having all of these super-performative grief forced on him, and then being pushed to explicitly move on and replace Duck as quickly as possible… Although it seems they were done with some good intentions, all of these pretty much exacerbated Yellow Guy’s Issues with dealing with his grief - in addition to never really having the permanence of Death explained to him before the event.

I mean, you have to make some consideration towards the fact that the Puppets themselves were not really able to admit that they didn’t really understand Death - so it’s not like Coffin was willfully ignoring requests for knowledge from his students. He didn’t know that they didn’t know! But I also feel like it is his responsibility as their teacher to take the initiative and make sure they understand the material he is teaching. (and of course, the Puppets not taking the initiative to ask questions themselves is pretty understandable when their educational environment has a history of punishing questions).

Coffin is a pretty interesting anomaly in the continuum of DHMIS Teachers. Because a lot of the time the Teachers are, implicitly or explicitly, redundant at best. Telling the Trio about things they already know in a way that is condescending, or overly simplistic, or just filled with inaccuracies even the Trio can spot. Coffin, however, is here to teach the Trio about something they legitimately don’t know and should probably know about - but he just fails to divulge that basic information that our main characters need. I think you can read it as, like, a statement about the way our society stigmatizes the discussion about Death. Especially with all the performative inaccurate mourning and then the quick push to move on (in this case by literally replacing Duck).

But whatever he was motivated by a desire to avoid actually discussing the ramifications of Death, or it was literally just a goofy misunderstanding and he thought the Trio knew what they were getting themselves into - I still feel like it was his responsibility and his failure that caused all of the troubles. I mean, it still puts him pretty high in the ranking as far as DHMIS Teacher Quality goes just cause the bar is so low - and it still doesn’t mean he deserved the Duck Piss. But this is why I don’t feel 100% comfortable with calling him a ‘Good Teacher’.

Lily and Todney!

Now with these two, the Terribleness is a lot more clear-cut. Lily and Todney are a pretty classic example of what I was talking about just before in the Coffin entry. The Trio already had a pretty good understanding of the ACTUAL concept of Family at the start of the episode.

Sure, we're not technically a family, but we live together and we have the same lawyer and it works for us.

They didn’t need a lesson about that. And Lily and Todney were less ‘teaching’ them as much as trying to ingrain in them arbitrary nuclear standards for ‘Family’ in their heads. ‘Your idea of ‘Family’ is Wrong, we are here to teach you how Wrong you are’ is their thing, basically.

They are also pretty condescending to the puppets, put them in many uncomfortable situations, and do the Classic DHMIS Teacher Move of being deflective and avoidant when one of their students calls them out on their bullshit.

Faulbchdt... That's not a word! That's right, isn't it, Lily? Family is much more than just a word!

They punish their students for failing to follow rules they have not actually properly established to them before they ‘broke’ them (see: the Mother's Piece debacle).

They also, like, ate a fellow Teacher???

All of these are pretty standard practice for DHMIS Teachers by now (I guess not the Teacher-Cannibalism), the thing that makes Lily and Todney notable is the way they try and exploit our puppets. Their main motivation is explictly not just to 'educate' the trio/make them think the 'right' things.

The reason why they try to reinforce the idea that the trio is doing family Wrong and only the twins can teach them how to do it Right is because they have something to gain out of it. On the micro-scale you can see it in the Family Tree sequence. Where Lily and Todney’s, um, roommate (relative?) is literally sustained by the blood of Red Guy - which was given willingly because Red Guy bought into L&T’s constant insinuations that he needs to be with his ‘real’ biological family in order to belong.

But more obviously, there’s the whole scheme of turning Yellow Guy into their new mother. In fact, if you watch the episode closely, it’s pretty clear they had their eyes on him from very early on.

So this whole ‘lesson’, with all of its nonsense arbitrary morals and rules, was nothing but a ploy to get the Trio into their house and isolate Yellow Guy from his friends.

But the interesting thing for me is the motivation. On some level, Lily and Todney might be the most sympathetic Teachers we’ve had - because we actually know for certain what motivates them. And that’s desperation.

Lily and Todney are HUNGRY. It’s implied that it’s not actually an uncommon occurrence in that family, since it's also mentioned in the home movie that they made before Mother was gone.

Despite having a bigger house than the Trio, it seems like this family is really financially struggling to keep themselves fed. And the Grolton Chicken Family Discount seems to be the only affordable food option they have. I mean, it doesn’t justify, y’know, driving the trio apart with their nonsense or drinking Red Guy’s blood or kidnapping Yellow Guy. They would definitely be a lot more sympathetic if they just stole food from the trio’s kitchen or something. But it gives them some sort of non-abstract material reason to do what they do where most teachers seem to do the same or worse purely out of a sense of ego, or a warped ideology, or just plain sadism.

Plus, there is the factor of the terms and conditions of the Family Discount themselves. Where, like, either Grolton’s Chicken refuses to give a Family Discount to any Group of People that is not a “Real Family” as defined by having a ‘dad’ and a ‘mom - or Lily and Todney are simply under the false impression that the Family Discount require that they’ll be a ‘Real Family’. So either there is a restaurant out there reinforcing this restrictive idea of family through financial discrimination. Or Lily and Todney have this concept of ‘family’ so deeply ingrained in them that they can see no other way.

Even with their ulterior motive to get the trio to listen to them, they probably actually believe only Real Families can open Family Packs. A lot of teachers seem to be True Believers in the nonsense they enforce, but Lily and Todney are our first example where the implication is that this ideology harms them just as much as it does the puppets. Either BECAUSE of that deluded belief or because there's a more influential organization that is also enforcing it. It’s a much bigger social system, and Lily and Todney are just cogs bringing it along to the next victim.

I mean, at the end of the day, I am trying to judge their value as teachers to the Puppets. And while this aspect makes them maybe a bit more sympathetic, it doesn’t make them any better as Teachers. This is just a new interesting flavor of Teacher-Badness - where they are directly harmed by the values they try to enforce and harm our trio with. Just one more link in a chain of harm, kinda reminds me of the way our trio treated Stain, actually. A new Wrinkle to consider when thinking of the teachers’ awfulness, I suppose.

And speaking on things that are Wrinkly, it is time for…

Warren the Eagle!

So the thing about Warren is, the lesson he has to teach our Trio was actually a necessary one. While all Three of Them care about each other, their friendship is also really dysfunctional for a variety of reasons - as you can see in this very episode’s ending.

So yeah, a lesson about how to ‘be better best friends’ would be something they needed, and especially on that day when they were so mean to Yellow Guy! And most of the lessons he has to teach them make good points! It’s just that Warren is the worst person who could deliver them. Like, leaving aside he’s a negative hole of charisma and talent the trio just does not want to listen to. He’s also a huge-ass hypocrite!

The lessons he says are actually good friendship advice (presumably just parroted verbatim from the ‘Okay Stop! learning materials) - but he himself fails to follow them even on the most basic level. For him, these are lessons he needs to Teach others, not anything he needs to learn from himself. He only interacts with them when they can be an Excuse for his own shitiness. They’re just slogans to repeat without actually understanding them himself. (Which is extra sad cause Warren IS primarily motivated by his lonliness. If HE could learn how to be a Better Best Friend, that would benfit him more than anything!)

Much like many other Teachers on DHMIS, this also feels like a reflection of problems in Real Life Early Childhood Education. How often are children taught basic concepts such as friendship, honesty, respect or kindness by parents, teachers and other authority figures - who utterly fail to actually follow these same ‘basic childhood lessons’ themselves and especially towards their own students? How many children are taught 'kindness' by the unkind?

So while Warren being an obnoxious and toxic person who shows no remorse as he destroys Yellow Guy’s mind for the sake of his own ego and self-satisfaction and, y’know, turned into a giant monster is bad enough if he was simply the puppets’ peer - the fact that he is also supposed to be ‘teaching’ an actually important lesson to them, kinda makes it worse? Because now they all know that Warren sucks, it’s also a lot easier for them to just ignore everything he told them. To just process them as empty slogans like Warren himself did, and therefore…

Anyways!

Choo-Choo!

This one’s another kinda Complicated one, and much like Lily and Todney, a rare case where we might need to consider Outside Factors when evaluating the character - so let’s take this one at a time.

First, while there is not much Wrong in his lesson - it’s unclear how necessary it is. While the puppets didn’t know much about, like, travel and driving a car - all of those are things that Red Guy taught himself on his own while Choo-Choo was kinda MIA. Choo-Choo’s own lesson was mainly just about listing various kinds of vehicles and transportations methods and I think the Trio are at least aware of what a bicycle is. So it’s probably yet another case of a Teacher giving them a lesson so simplistic and condescending it’s totally unnecessary.

Yeah, he came as a reaction to a Need one of the Puppets had, but in the sense he seems to be here as a way to try and passively placate Red Guy’s dreams of escape by offering him a faux ‘trip to the outside’ that actually never leaves their living room. It’s kinda like the Healthy Band maybe, although at least Choo-Choo isn’t distracting them from anything terrible well at least not anything more terrible than the general background terribleness of their existence.

And while he’s certainly not the worst Teacher we’ve had so far, he’s got a rather short temper, he tends to hit his students, even if it seems to be mostly by accident, but not always… And he often fails to engage with the actual questions his students ask of him…

Now, that’s the whole thing of Outside Factors. Because all of these issues with Choo-Choo’s teaching methods aren’t really Flaws In His Personality, as much as it is just… him being old and not-in-very-good-health. He’s not really ignoring or dismissing his students’ questions, he just legit has a problem hearing them properly. And he seems to be straining himself very much to the point of pain and death just to give them that lesson - which makes him easier to read as genuinely, if misguidedly, invested in Educating the Youth.

Plus, while he’s got a bit of a temper, it never really gets beyond ‘exasperated gruffness’ - not even when the trio hijack his own body to go on their little escape plan and drink all of his oil and force-fed him raisins and cigarettes -which would certainly be a justified point for someone to get angry!

And then there is the fact that he’s yet another Teacher who ends up dead due to the Actions of of the Students, so a lot like Coffin, that automatically makes him more sympathetic. (I think the Students actually killed Choo-Choo like three different times in that episode). I can totally see why he’s considered, at least, one of the ‘least evil’ teachers.

But… Well, while he might be one of the better-intentioned and least villainous teachers out there - he’s still not very good at his job? If you want to talk about how good the Teachers function as actual Edutainment for their students… yeah, Choo-Choo is not very good. We’ve certainly seen worse teachers, but his interactions with the students are generally unpleasant, the contents of his lesson are probably entirely redundant, he can't really engage with the students, and - you know- he DIED mid-lesson. Which is generally considered a downside.

I mean, Choo-Choo can’t help but be Sick and Old, I don’t want to blame him for that… There are people who can manage to be good teachers while being Sick and/or Old. The important factor here is that… while on some level it might seem admirable that he’s pushing himself despite his health - that just kinda made things worse both for everyone involved! If Choo-Choo toned things down a bit to make the lesson plan more accommodating to his own health problems (as in, take Duck's advice and Stop Morphing), that would’ve led to a more pleasant experience for both his students and himself (as in: he wouldn't have died!)

The question, I guess, is why did he feel the need to physically push himself like that? I know for a lot of people, Choo-Choo’s whole vibe reminded them of elderly and/or sick people who are forced to work and unable to retire due to financial pressures or other kinda crappy job conditions. I noticed the parallels too and it’s possible Choo-Choo is going through the anthropomorphic puppet train equivalent of this dire situation. On the other hand, part of Choo-Choo jerkish behavior is constant denial and insecurity about his own health problems. Being super-defensive about them even when his students bring them up with genuine concern.

Yellow Guy: Is that supposed to…? Choo Choo: Doesn't matter.

Duck: Can you stop morphing? Yellow Guy: Yeah! Stop morphing! Choo Choo: I'm not morphing, you're morphing!

Which of course, reminds me of the General Vibe of insecurity and condescension coming from a lot of the DHMIS teachers - clearly having their ego harmed by being outsmarted by their students or even just being asked questions they are not sure about. You know, it’s this mindset of ‘I’m the teacher and you’re the students, therefore you must Respect everything that I say because I’m always right and if you disagree with me you are Wrong’. And I think Choo-Choo’s defensiveness might come from that same source? That it is embarrassing if you have to admit your students are actually right about something, even when this thing is literally threatening your life and health.

It might be a balance of both of these. Maybe Choo-Choo has been forced into Teaching by, like, Lesley’s lackluster pension fund for her inanimate-object-nightmare-puppet-teachers or something but ALSO he feels too proud to admit any of this in front of his students or even ‘tone down’ the physical intensity of his lesson-plan once called out on his health problems by his students of all people!

Much like Coffin, Choo-Choo is sympathetic because his flaws cause mostly problems (and death) for himself. I think more so in Choo-Choo’s case since he didn’t even cause a lot of anguish for other people. His sense of pride over his students only harmed himself - in the worst possible way.

Farther complicating the issue is the fact that Red Guy was literally encouraging all of this! While Yellow Guy and Duck were clearly worried about Choo-Choo's health, Red Guy was goading him to keep going!

Yellow Guy: Maybe you should have a sit-down. Red Guy: No, don't sit down.

I dunno if that makes Choo-Choo's death Red Guy's fault (I mean this FIRST death after the song, the other two are absolutely Red Guy's fault) - I think it's likely things would've gone just the same with Choo-Choo's personal pride even if Red Guy was on Team Stop Morphing. But this moment seems so intentful and calculated (I mean, even YELLOW GUY noticed that Choo-Choo is not doing well) - that it feels even harsher than Yellow Guy smashing Coffin in his grief. Maybe Red Guy was just that hopeful that the song will eventually actually take them Elsewhere that he was willing to risk that guy's health. Maybe he was already considering hijacking his corpse?

And unlike with Coffin's death, I can't say this was caused by the problems in Choo-Choo's lesson. So it's not even a teacher's flaws coming back at him. I mean, I GUESS that was caused by the fact this supposed song about Transport wasn't actually going anywhere which was agitating Red Guy - but REALLY, Red Guy is more motivated by larger-scale wider issues about how he's trapped within the Format and thus he is THAT desperate to have a chance to escape, not anything to do with Choo-Choo individually.

I guess that's actually something you can connect with Choo-Choo's 'old teacher unable to retire' coding. Both Choo-Choo's problems as a teacher and the way Red Guy treated him are caused by wider-scale and more powerful systemic issues inflicted on them, which then reflect back on the way the act during the lesson.

Electracey

So good ol’ Electracey the Meter is generally regarded as one of the best Teachers in the whole show and that is… a pretty accurate assessment. But it’s also kinda grading on a curve, y’know? Being the Best Teacher on DHMIS is a pretty low bar to clear. So I am going to go over her problems - because I think they are often overlooked - but I do want to emphasize that, yes, while she is far from perfect, she is also the Best One we’ve had so far!

First things first, her lesson is entirely necessary and important. The Trio legit did not know what Electricity was and why it was important before she showed up.

Duck: I always assumed it was some kind of natural phenomenon, some sort of weather or something. Electracey: No, what about the lamps, and the lights, and the plug-in blanket? Red Guy: Uh… magic? Some kind… Like a spell?

And she obviously excels in the Entertainment Part of Education.

And just genuinely seem nice and cordial towards her students, which is a welcome change of pace!

She’s not even very angry when Duck steals her batteries and leaves her almost to die.

But while all of these are true, it is important to remember that she still has some Issues. For a starter, she seems to not have a Full Grasp of the Mortality of Organic Beings.

AND, like a lot of other teachers, she kinda Struggles when her students go off-screen:

"Now tell me, could you make a phone call on a phone that was just made out of rocks and soil?" "No, probably not" "Go on, try it!" "N- Why?" "Try it!"

Which honestly kinda reminds me, of, well

"I use my hair to express myself!"

And the most important thing is… there is another Point to her Lesson outside of ‘electricity is useful and you should pay your bills’. Electracey doesn’t just believe Electric Devices are cool, she believes they are superior to non-electric-devices.

"Soon everything in the home will be plugged-in and part of the electric family!"

Which is a pretty Dubious message to send to the impressionable puppets.

Now, Electracey’s saving grace is what happens when the students actually start following her lesson - as a combination of their newfound excitement for electricity and trying to distract themselves from Yellow Guy being Smart now, Red Guy and Duck do indeed start making sure everything in the house is ‘plugged in and part of the electric family'. Filling it with useless and gimmicky Smart Gadgets.

And Electracey, through her low-power shitty-battery gaze does actually try and warn them this is not a good idea.

(And it was not a good idea, obviously)

So while some of her lines are a bit ominous, maybe she at least didn’t want them to go that far, and that’s something, at least. Or maybe it was only a problem specifically because it was overloading the power on herself and the house?

Like I said, definitely the Best Teacher we’ve had so far, but she’s still far from flawless…

The big thing I am thinking about is the general fandom assessment that the TV Show had Better Teachers in general compared to the Web Show. It is true, but I think it’s important to consider why it is like this.

First and foremost, it’s because the Webshow had a clear element of escalation in the awfulness that the TV Show does not have. The difference in quality between the two Teacher Groups would’ve been a lot less clear cut if we had to compare all the TV Teachers just with Notebook, for example.

In addition , I think part of the reason the Badness of the TV Teachers is a lot more subdued has less to do with a change in tone and more to do with a change in the format. The longer, more character-driven narrative of the show allows for a more subtle and complex exploration of what makes the Teachers terrible - as well as having to explore a more diverse range of motivations and reasons for their terribleness.

Again, this is a very personal look at DHMIS Teachers, I would be happy to hear your perspectives on the matter assuming anyone made it this far into the post.

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