#I like thinking about why you should or shouldn't portray sex and in this case what is the purpose of the romance in the story

[onewomancitadel]

Alright fine, I'll get it out of my system, Dark portrays very thoughtful contrast between the majority of its romances and the lead pairing of the show, Jonas/Martha. I think it's an excellent use of an ensemble cast to draw implicit judgement and comparison, and more specifically it makes me want to pay attention because I know no shot is arbitrary.

I didn't really understand the love triangle between Jonas-Martha-Bartosz at first (because I am allergic to love triangles) but it is very successful and doesn't take up too much narrative space - if anything it does my favourite thing which is contrasting childish love of convenience versus true love. Most prominently there's the scene in the dressing room where each action Jonas-Bartosz take is different - Jonas knocks, walks in uncertainly but respectfully/Bartosz barges in - the entire framing of the scene is open yet intimate, almost like a cocoon with Jonas/Martha, but with Bartosz it's oppressive - the kiss between Jonas/Martha is like always they're the only two in the entire world, where with Bartosz and Martha it's like the world is squeezing in on them - and the use of mirror is very smart (foreshadowing?), because you see Martha from every angle with Jonas, and her mirror image is concealed with Bartosz.

That was the scene when I realised they were doing something intentionally - and every Jonas/Martha scene tends to be like this, long shots with no edits, just pure acting/contemplation and really what can only be called warm intimacy - and it felt especially prominent with the sex scenes. You get that real objectified sense with Hannah and Ulrich in the first episode where my first assumption was that it was like watching some sort of impersonal human sacrifice ritual. Meanwhile Magnus/Franziska is honestly sort of silly, like I actually was laughing out loud every time it cut to them and they were going at it like rabbits, and I think this was supposed to be comic! It's not bad, they are just always fucking, and I think there you have the denial of feelings vs. the serious stakes of the relationship which evolve secretly, to the point you then see they're still together when working much later with Adam.

But then Jonas and Martha's sex scenes. Dreamy! Warm! Sweaty! So up close and personal it's almost like it's not even graphic, because you're mostly seeing moving limbs, and just the fierce intensity of their oneness. I understand criticisms of sex scenes from both ethical and narrative perspectives, but it was at this point I perfectly understood the point of the graphicness, or lack thereof in this case I suppose, especially when there is that forbidden love/inherent wrongness to the Jonas/Martha relationship which also happens to be world-ending. So whilst these other relationships aren't forbidden, Jonas/Martha's is, yet by their portrayal you'd almost think otherwise - which I think is the point. The show wants you to care about them, not write it off. It's a romance which blooms from tragedy.

And I prefer the implicitness and privacy (and almost suggestion?) of those scenes because it tells me so much about Jonas/Martha. I am told so many things about them, actually, that it's not unserious, that it is actually totally serious, and the way they feel for each other is special, not arbitrary - that in that world, the intimacy, ease, and comfort they feel each other is rare, but it is also forbidden, and dangerous. It's the poison and the panacea, which is why [ENDING] is the most genius thing ever written. The agony of the love, the sickness that the doctors cannot cure; the wounds that can be healed only by the weapon that delivered the wound.

Also, I love characters who dream of each other, and I think there is separately a point that the sex scenes are at first delivered to us mystically - even more precious, they're actually sort of magical, a future/past memory repeating, to the point the dream is reality.

[bi-kisses]

What do you think about "barbie is asexual and why that matters" (Tumblr doesn't allow me to put links so look it up) vid? I know your opinions about split attraction model, so I guess I already expect what it's gonna be like. Also I don't like the fucking weird part about that "women have to put up with being sexualized every time we go outside". Like, I know that it's true to some women but... I can't relate to that? I don't have to put up with this and I'm a woman? Borderline radfem take bru

I don't think there's really any subtext suggesting she's asexual, nor would it improve the messaging at all.

No offense because I get the desire for representation, but people not actively having a love interest in a movie is not ace coded. People in real life often have relationships, like with barbie and ken, that just aren't... emotionally invested. The "no genitals" bit is because they're literally dolls, I think we can all agree asexuals have genitals and to equate the two (being physically sexless and not feeling attraction) is actually very regressive as it wraps back around to this idea of asexuality making you broken and/or incomplete.

I think trying to warp the messaging to be about sexuality is missing the point. The sexualization of women can be contested and criticized without actually robbing women of our sexualities.

I know it does feel like a radfem take to say women get sexualized whenever they're out in the world, but it's a bit more complicated than that. Some women don't at all, usually because of where they live, or if they don't fit into the modern view of "sexy" to begin with. I know that I've been getting catcalled and leered at since I was in my preteens, it's especially a problem with (this will sound weird) some of the Indian men who have immigrated here and just culturally have zero respect for women. I was in a bralette at the gas station and the old guy behind the counter couldn't find the decency to look up from my chest while I paid. That's one example of something I get pretty regularly, and tbh I don't even HAVE nice tits.

All that to say that I didn't find the barbie portrayal of being a woman dressed in tight/revealing clothes navigating the public to be unrealistic. I don't think it's meant to imply this is what every woman gets constantly, I mean, there are other women around in those scenes (and, I almost forgot, ken also gets ogled), it's moreso discussing the way we're all forced to portray ourselves in a muted and "sexed down" manner if we want to be respected, which really shouldn't be the case. Women with skimpy shirts should receive eye contact at the gas station.

[shinra-makonoid]

More of an opinion matter, why do you think we're trans? I personally believe that it's something in my brain that fucked up, which made me want to be male, regardless of what conscious identity I was forming. This makes the most sense to me as a non-biologist, or maybe that is the only thing I could accept, because "it's all social" made it initially sound like a thing I shouldn't indulge. If I want to have male body because of society, the most "correct" way would be to make myself accept what I already have, right? Somewhere down there I still believe that, so the only way I accepted myself being trans is that it has some sort of biological/neurological basis.

Here goes a whole rant that is JUST my opinion I'm not saying anything I'm saying is true or valid, and I'm just blabbing about it, but you asked. Also largely talking about what I think are my true reasons.

My official opinion is I don't know. Like I used to be pretty certain but now I kinda took a step back and I prefer not having judgement either way. I'm also not up to date with the litterature at all. As I said before, it doesn't impact me on the why I am who I am. It made me have a "looser" view about people transitioning even if they claim they have no dysphoria, people dysphoria on both ends, or the few strange trans people who seem to have a kink about it etc. "Trans" means a lot of things.

Specifically for gender dysphoria (that is more of a symptom with a definition, I'm not talking about the DSM list, more like having "sex dysphoria" basically : distress about your sexual characteristics and wanting them to be the opposite sex's) there are two difference of roots which we have to find out about: how gender dysphoria is displayed in the brain, and what caused that specificity if it exists. Then when does the causes occur, is it before, after birth, during childhood, adolescence? Many parameters are to be taken into account there, and I don't believe it's one simple cause. I'm not certain it's been researched a lot. I only know that GD is begining to be known as highly linked to the autism spectrum.

I would assume it's something biological in the brain obviously, to me it's undeniable there is a biological factor to all of it (and as I said before, there's a study about it) as well as a lot of review showing genetics and hormonal components (tho sometimes they integrate sexual orientation in the game so it makes it harder to really be sure). I think it's difficult to assume there isn't, but the thing is, we don't really know if we're all trans for the same reasons, and we might never know, and maybe we shouldn't assume we are either. Why should I be a "real trans" compared to any other trans. Is there really a difference between me and someone who after transitioning, stopped feeling dysphoria and detransitioned? (I'm not talking about the cases of people suffering from GD and then detransing because of political/ideological influences there obviously).

Then, it doesn't mean it has to be a "brain sex" thing, just like it doesn't have to be in another way that's closer to typical mental health issues like dysmorphia either, or something close to body integrity disorder, or some deep thing we can't even check today. The possibilities are endless and it's like a needle in a haystack. It is difficult, in my opinion, to claim that gender dysphoria is "definitely in that part of the brain" or "definitely portrayed like this in the brain", or "definitely social". I think TERFs saying it's dysmorphia are wrong in a lot of cases, and I think people saying they have the "brain of the opposite side" as a blanket statement are also wrong.

Then there's society. I argue a lot about how I don't think our behavior or gender presentation, but I would argue that the opportunity to being able to transition is given by society, and therefore, an undeniable part of "being trans" is social, because transitioning medically is now available to us. It's not like centuries before where people had to do how they could do, now we have an opportunity to really switch genders.

TERFs consider that it's "bad" to transition to the opposite sex if you are so GNC it impacts negatively your life on a day to day, that you should just "suck it up" for the political stance. Well, I don't agree with that. I think that if someone is so GNC that they find relief in transition, then they're trans, but they might not have gender dysphoria the same way I do. The reason might be social, but I think being GNC is not chosen but impacted by biological processes (and unchangeable), and therefore, it's still a thing in the brain causing the person "being trans", but it's probably not the same as someone who transitioned for sex dysphoria reason. If there is a higher quality of life after, then it was clinically the right choice, no matter the politics about it. Anyway, same thing applies for the claim of people transitioning because they're autistic. And even there, who's to argue there is only one "reason" that makes someone transitioning? Do we, the "real trans" only transition for "sex dysphoria" reasons too? I'm not sure.

I still ask myself *why* I did transition for real. Because I don't think it's clear to myself either, like there are surface level rationalization of things (my bottom sex dysphoria for ex that exists since I'm a teenager), but overall, with time, it just "felt" "natural" to me to assume the gender of a man. I "naturally" "felt" that way ever since I was a kid even when I had no words to really describe it. I remember as a child, wanting to tell my mom that I didn't want to be a tomboy, but just a boy. Up until teenagehood, I wanted to be with boys naturally, and it was a difficult time when I became a teenager because guys wouldn't look at me as a peer anymore. Is that natural or is that social? TERFs will argue that it was because I was "autistic" (I'm not diagnosed, I'm not claiming that I am), or because I was a tomboy and pressure from society blablabla, but idk it seems weak as an explanation for something so visceral and so natural. I think this is why I especially like the CAH girls being more masculine studies, it's because it explains something for me. CAH girls having more prenatal exposure to testosterone, have their bodies masculinized compared to other girls, and display more masculinity than girls. I'm not CAH, but my mom had polycystic ovaries syndrom which results in more testosterone and infertility. Both my brother (who is autistic) and I are screwed up in a gender/sexual/social way. Is that a coincidence? Who knows (after all we had screwed childhood too, on a different level as we have 10 years apart), but yeah if the CAH was debunked I'd take a bit of a hit because of my personal experience (I am super biased about it).

Anyway. I also remember that before transitioning, I did feel like I was a "failed" woman, because I've tried very hard to be with my women peers but was never considered as a valid woman by peers (because of my hairiness, because of my social differences, my behavior, because of my lack of femininity or even because of my masculinity), which is a classic TERF point too. There's also period, I hated them, and I never wanted to be pregnant ever. Those are practical, biological but still kinda social reasons.

Once I transitioned, it didn't fix my bottom sex dysphoria (still unbearably present), like I'm not sure I'll be able to comfortably fuck ever. But I also enjoy very much how my body is, I enjoy my beard, my hair pattern, my neck, my forehead, my shoulders, my stomach, my legs, my arms, my back, my hips, my build, my figure, which are not things that used to be before. I guess it could be argued it's "gender euphoria", but to me it's possible that I used to feel gender dysphoria about all of this but simply didn't acknowledge it, and when it stops it's a relief. Like when you have chronic pain, your perception of pain changes. Maybe when you have chronic distress in regards to gender, sometimes your perception of distress changes. I have a general tendency to live that way (past situations that were bearable before are unbearable to me now because I know better). Maybe "gender euphoria" is that, and so maybe it's an integral part of "being trans" and/or "having gender dysphoria". Finally, there's the social aspects of it, I'm no longer an outcast with my peers in regards to my more than average masculine female body, my general behavior is more consistent with my appearance, mannerisms (or lack of), and I bloomed into masculinity with contentment rather than feeling "constraigned" by it, even on its problematic aspects (to which I just don't participate in). Being a man is not easy, as it's lonely, sometimes violent (psychologically and/or physically) and yet I agree with it being part of my life, it's not unbearable as it used to be as a woman (which to my experience was less psychologically/physically violent and definitely less lonely despite being an outcast generally). I don't think I changed or morphed into something else in society due to it. I'm still globally the same person as I was before transitioning, it's just that I'm happier with my mind and my body now. The same way that I didn't feel specifically sex dysphoria in regards to my breasts (it feels weird to say that because they not here anymore!!!), but I did feel constant distress from having them due partly to social reasons, and now they're gone and I'm so happy I could just stare at my chest all day and I ordered things online to wear because of how excited I was to wear shirts and looking like a guy with a normal chest in the mirror. I love how manly I looks. I love my body, I just wished I had a penis and it would be like... Perfect. Except maybe my height but some kings are short and that's life.

I don't think any of that "new" (it's been 5 years after all) found love regarding my body is clinically concordant with a dysmorphia diagnosis (I didn't find new flaws, I don't obsess over new flaws, my bottom sex dysphoria hasn't changed, I took 5 years to decide myself whether I wanted to remove my breasts so I think it's safe to say I was not in a rush to change my body or find new things to change about my body) or any other kind of TERF flavored diagnosis, but I think it is clinically concordant with a gender dysphoria diagnosis (quality of life and body satisfaction correlated to my appearance changing to the opposite sex). And again, every step of the way, I agree with myself whether I want to continue T shots, whether I'm happy with being trans, I let myself have the space to consider detransitioning in a neutral way and without considering it a failure if I ever do it. Of course I doubt it would ever happen but I'm open to the possibility, I'm open to changing my mind about myself. I'm not forcing myself through a path, I'm enjoying the path, my own personal private path.

So you see, based on that alone there's probably a plethora of reasons as to why I "really" transitioned, that seem more accurate and grounded in the earth compared to "social influences on tumblr/other trans people" or "childhood abuse", "society expectations", "being actually a lesbian" or "wanting to be your father" (as one therapist said to me), but more complicated than "it's only sex dysphoria".

I'm giving you my personal testimony on this, it's not generalizable, and it doesn't mean anything in regards to "trans people" in general either, but I hope it might give some comfort to some people who think they 100% have to transition for these right specific reasons and none else, or that there is "only one reason for people to transition". It's a complex thing, I hope I'm highlighting how complexe it really is with my example, and also showing that if you were to search all of that in a brain, it would probably be a big confusing mess.

[divinerivals]

I would love to hear your thoughts on Silver Flames!

Buckle up babes long ass response coming in.

*this gets ranty and I'm sorry!!. Excuse any typos or errors. I don't have my glasses on lol.*

So my controversial hot take about acosf, is that thanks to fan works (headcanons, theories, fanfic,etc) we all get these notions in our heads of how characters should be. When in actual reality they're just not like that. Everyone believed Nesta would be this all powerful bad bitch lady death. When in truth she never wanted power. Ever. All she wanted was to make the Cauldron pay. She never wanted magic in the first place. Even when she had it. She didnt care for it. Didnt care for what it did and how it took her over. In the end losing her magic didn't really matter. It's not like Aelin who loved her fire and missed it when it was gone. Nesta felt like her magic was a burden. And was grateful it was gone. I do think fmcs who love their powers should keep not lose them. But when they don't want it. When it scares them, they don't care for it whatever the case maybe then they should lose it. Nesta just wants cake, books, and sex no suffering magic required honestly good for her.

The same can be said for Cassian. Thanks to all the fan works we all believed he'd go to bat (pun intended) for her against Rhys and the IC and it rarely happened. Whenever it did, it barely lasted. I was waiting when Rhys told him to get Nesta out of Velaris or he'd kill her. I was waiting for Cassian to do something. What'd he do? Force Nesta to go on hike. Sir that's your mate. DEFEND HER. Tell Rhys for her sake you will but the next he threatens Nesta over something he shouldn't hide from Feyre will be the last. Get Nesta out and talk with her. Don't be dick cause Rhys says so.

Speaking of Rhys. Alot of people were unhappy with how he was portrayed in acosf. I wasn't. Doesn't mean he didn't piss me off. But I think for Manu the rose colored glasses came off. Acotar- acofas we view Rhys through the Feyre lens. So yeah especially acomaf and acowar we see him in a loving, caring sense. In Feyres eyes once she falls for him Rhys can literally do no wrong. As readers we believe it. It's why so many fell for Tam in book 1. But now in acosf we get him. The real un mate side of Rhys. We see the High Lord version. We see him through Cassian and Nesta’s eyes and it's not the best look.

The other issue I've noticed with Acotar fans and the hate is how slow and lore based it is. Yes, I agree that there's some parts of the book that are. So. Fucking. Slow. I just wanted to those parts to be done with it. The other side, the lore. For readers looking for smut and a little plot acotar is great. You don't have to think to much on the world and the lore it's only a sprinkle to move the story along. Nothing like tog or cc. Now with the crossover we needed a book with all this information to make it fit and have it make sense. And acosf became that book. For anyone who wasn't anticipating a heavy book this was a huge surprise. And kind of a snoozefest. Even when I first read it I was so happy to have this information but given what he know of acotar why Is it needed? Then hosab came out and it made sense.

Personally, I didn't think it was bad. I enjoyed myself while reading. I was disappointed we didn't get all those bodily fluids that Sarah claimed we'd get. Yeah, there was a little, but idk she made it seem like a lot more.

The intervention in the beginning pissed me off. The only people that should've been there were Feyre, Elain, and maybe Cassian. I know as someone who cares about her and is her mate he should he but in the same breath the topic of Cassian is very touchy to Nesta in that moment. So I think where he's considered it's a eh thing. Rhys would be the only other exception because it's his money she's been spending. But he should stfu and let Feyre handle it.

I don't like Mor. She pissed me off entirely throughout the book. Same as Amren. I use to like Amren alot. But this book made me turn off of her. Despite all of the growing Nesta does the only way she accepts and forgives Nesta is when Nesta grovels and kisses her hand??? Fuck right off.

Generally I loved all the lore, loved/hated seeing Rhys from a different pov, adored Nesta’s journey even her giving up her magic. I loved seeing Nesta form her bonds with Gwyn, Emerie and Azriel. Just wished Cassian stepped it up in the defending Nesta Archeron department.

I honestly think what I love about it. People hated lmao.

[borhaprequiem]

on the topic of "minors shouldn't be posting transformation content publicly online even if it's SFW—"

i will admit that in the current state of the internet, minors exploring this interest in private with friends of their age that they made in other communities is the safest way to do it. however, i don't think this is a black and white issue. i wish they didn't have to do something as restrictive as that to be safe.

my interest in transformation has got me thinking about "integration versus liberation" more than i would otherwise. in this case, the debate is "you should acknowledge that some tropes are seen as fetishes by a large portion of the internet, and always tag [trope] content as mature to accommodate that side" vs. "we as a society should abandon the idea that any trope (besides literal sex) is inherently sexual, and you should just do what you want"

but here's my opinion. as an autistic person, arbitrary social conventions suck. do we really want to expect kids to memorize a seemingly arbitrary list of cartoon tropes that are commonly seen as fetishes in some circles? and how do you think the kids (a lot of whom are also autistic) who grew up liking those tropes for non-sexual reasons will feel about that? even tropes within transformation—sure, latex is pretty well associated with mainstream kink, but pool floaties and plushies?

and how do we decide which items should even be on that list? there are people who see fat bodies as a fetish. there are people who see (pre/no-op) trans bodies as a fetish. (and no, they're not just right wing gooners—i have seen people in progressive spaces accusing art of feminine trans men and people who are heavier than 250 lbs as being "fetish art.") do you really want to tell marginalized kids that they can't depict people who look like their authentic self just because some people might see it as a fetish?

i feel like this is why art of trans people, fat people, agere, etc. doesn't suffer the problem of blurred lines between fetish and non-fetish content—it's because fetishizing those is generally considered unethical in leftist spaces. thus there was a very high incentive for people who liked those subjects non-sexually to separate themselves from those who liked them sexually, either to avoid getting mistaken for someone who likes those sexually, or to avoid the people who do. whereas there's nothing wrong with fetishizing shapeshifting or getting eaten, so there wasn't much of an incentive for people to make separate SFW and not-SFW communities, or even just making separate accounts for SFW and not-SFW stuff

but why does a trope need to be connected to real marginalized people for someone to be able to say "if you see this as fetish art when i didn't intend for it to, that's your problem. fuck off."???

it's far more effective to give people the tools to navigate the internet safely themselves and make their own decisions than for any body of authority (including social convention) to draw the lines between "safe" and "unsafe" content. so many people want to absolve minors of all responsibility on the internet but the reality is just like in real life, there are basic safety principles they need to follow! minors have the responsibility to practice basic fucking internet safety and not interact with 18+ accounts. AND 18+ accounts have the responsibility to not interact with minors. it's that simple. teach people that just avoiding anything you're uncomfortable with, without needing to give or have a reason why, is the best way to avoid being fetish mined.

hopefully we can cultivate a better internet where people can freely express themselves without the fear of being preyed on or being accused of something serious and bad. either that or the dead internet theory coming true kills the internet first /j

this does not apply to l0lisho/inc*st fetish content/besti@lity btw. that would be a false equivalence. those are all inherently connected to sexual abuse and thus i don't think minors should engage with those AT ALL except completely alone, in a therapy setting, or in a sex/SVSH education setting. also due to the sensitive nature of those topics it's CREATORS' responsibility to portray them (and other topics such as bigoted violence) tactfully.

[beiplaysffxiv]

I dunno why I am writing this, honestly. Probably because the wisdom tooth eruption has been ruining my week and I am just fucking annoyed at the discourse. I don't really have a following here yet, so I essentially risk nothing.

---

There's an on-going discourse on Twitter dot com, about whether or not Lalafell are kids and should they be allowed into NSFW content. This came up after Lalafell players started speaking up about the unnecessary hate and harassment they receive from others, simply for choosing to play the potato-shaped gnome race.

Lalafell are NOT children. They are NOT child-coded and regardless of what some of you think, they were NOT based on human toddlers. I don't know how many times it has to be said at this point. Pretty much all of the Lalafell we meet in game (including our WoL) are adults. The only exceptions are maybe 1-2 vague NPCs, that appear in a seasonal quest of some sort and only exist, because the Devs don't bother making child models for every existing in-game race.

All of the Lalafell/Dwarves we meet in sidequests and MSQ are adults. Some of them are middle-aged. There are in-game mentions of them being in romantic/sexual relationships - interracial as well. There are married Lalafell. There's a pregnant Dwarf in the Nier questline as well. Hell, everyone's "favourite" Lalafell villains in pre-Heavensward story are adult men.

---

The general argument against Lalafell being adults are their "child-like movements and high-pitch voice" along with some piece of Lalafell description, mentioning how "difficult it is to tell their age". I'm going to go into realism right now, but do you know who else fits under this description? People with Achondroplasia.

They exist. Due to their bone development their movement is obviously different from your regular person, which is sometimes compared to how a child moves. They often have a high-pitched voice as well and in many cases it is difficult to tell their exact age until they grow much older (look up Quaden Bayles and the whole drama surrounding his age). These people are the actual closest irl example of what Lalafell would be. Not literal fucking children.

---

Does that make Lalafell fitting for NSFW content? I'd say that depends on your approach. Canonically Lalafell do have sex and nothing you do or say is going to change that. I sincerely do not see any issue with people who portray their very obviously adult Lalafell in mature situations (sex, drinking, smoking etc.). They do not hurt anyone by doing so and they make it clear they do not infantilize their characters. Hell, I see a lot of people wishing they could at least modify their Lalafell to have more mature features. Which is somehow ALSO frowned upon?? and pretty much all Lalafell modders have been shunned by the community at this point.

That being said, people who sexualize Lalafell while also purposefully infantilizing them are still creeps. They do not represent the Lalafell community. Just like people modding their catgirls to wear diapers do not represent Miqo'te players.

---

tl;dr - My stance on Lalafell is that they are absolutely NOT children and shouldn't be seen as such, unless the player very clearly and specifically makes it known their character is underage. Lalafell should also be allowed in NSFW content without being ostracised as long as they're not purposefully infantilized.

[kuronokiseki]

A Few Years Had Passed, the BL Genre has Changed Alot... Yet I Still Love Romantica

But seriously, if you love something, is it necessary to have a reason? xD Can't I love something merely because I want to? Like, you don't need to have a reason to like fried chicken amirite?

Ahem. Anyway. Long post ahead.

First of all, it's merely because of a certain shot.

After seeing this for the first time, I was like "This is going to be one of my faves for sure. I'll enjoy every seconds of it. I believe this is a story that I will never forget. I'll constantly look forward to knowing the two and their story more and more."

Proud to say, this still rings true even now!

I have already listed the reasons why I love them so much, so I won't do it again in this post. But for this time, I'll explain why I still love them even after several years, even after I've transitioned from a teen to an adult which would affect my tastes over time, even after I've seen more BL works... even after knowing that there are things that other BLs managed to pull off better.

Flashbacks to the 2000s which I assume was the golden age of this series, where it was the only "watchable" BL anime back then and Sakurai Takahiro did a phenomenal job in portraying Misaki. Almost all of the fujos in internet would at least have heard of this series, and naturally it was massively beloved that 90% of the fujos would hold it as the no. 1 in their top BL list. However, since it is popular, of course there will be a fraction of people who strongly hate it because of a certain scene. Hence, citing it as the epitome of toxic BL lmao.

But of course, things will constantly change as time passed, just like how it's growing evident that BL is only consumed by cishet women is a huge myth, as queer men themselves have started to voice their love towards the genre as well. And it is also possible for ppl who aren't interested in men to enjoy BL, such as the straight guys, lesbians, and asexuals.

Likewise, BL itself is also evolving - newer ones are more aware about the idea of consent although some may still clueless of how healthy relationships work (relationship is more than just sex!). While this may sound subjective, technically there are more and more quality BL works to consume nowadays. In case you are bored with the slice-of-life BL, there is a plethora of fantasy and horror BL out there to choose, moreso when you're aware of webnovel sites like Syosetu. Isekai BL? They're out there.

And it isn't just from Japan, China and Korea are also capable of producing good BL as well. Even BL is getting praised for the more genuine M/M representation compared to how it's generally done in the West (coughcough performative diversity coughcough).

And it doesn't stop there. The series doesn't even need to have a BL label, the MC can still be gay, and the gay romance can still happen despite the plot not centering around that.

There should be no reason to think that it isn't possible for two men to fall for each other nowadays, the teases shouldn't amount to nothing, which alot of non-BLs were guilty of back then. Well, I'm talking abt series that would tease two male characters together but the creators will allow them to be anything but gay for each other. The only time you'd see them as canon gay is in doujins or fanfics.

Hence, you'd only get canon gay couples from series that have been labelled as BL. Luckily, it's no longer a reasonable thing to do in 2021 onwards.

So, thanks to this new golden era of BL or LGBTQA+ representation, since there are so many quality works to indulge yourself, the Junjou Romantica series is getting outdated. I believe alot of the new generation haven't even heard of it ahahaha. When compared to other BL, I'll admit that Junjou won't even fit to be the best or the worst. I'm not saying that Junjou is bad, but it's simply because there are so many BL works now compared to in 2000s. To the point I bet they would discover Junjou because of sheer luck.

Now, I'll get to the point. Why I still love Romantica through these years? Well, just because there are more and newer BLs, doesn't necessarily mean that it is better. While it's true that there are stuff that other BLs do better such as the plot, the characters, and the art, there's something that Romantica does better than others too, in my opinion. That is, Misaki and Akihiko's dynamic.

I love how Misaki and Akihiko are characters of their own whilst loving each other very much. In many BLs I've seen, the dynamic doesn't feel equal, where the MC is generally too busy to think about the ML most of the time (to those who are unfamiliar, it's referring to the main love interest), whereas the ML serves no other purpose to the story other than being the MC's love interest. In comparison, as the MC, Misaki's POV is always 90% USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN in every chapter although he faces different problems every single time. As for Akihiko, yea he loves Misaki so much but his character arc isn't limited to that. As outdated as the series would be, this aspect of their relationship, will always be timeless to me.

I've grown to love them so much, that I'll get happy from merely seeing them. Yea I do understand that others will get disappointed of the slow and repetitive plot, the bad art, not to mention after waiting for months for the update, spending money to get it... but all I think when looking at new acts is "OMG it's my babies I miss them so much T-T".

So yea, that's it. I don't ask much, I just want to see Misaki and Akihiko, and nothing more.

[theshoesofatiredman]

One of the most confusing things to me about the fundamentalist evangelical approach to homosexuality is the desire to see gay people get into opposite sex marriages. Whenever I would seriously consider it for myself, I would come back to this: why would I want to lock someone I loved into a lifetime of unfulfilling sex and physical intimacy? How could I make my gayness my wife's burden to bear? Wouldn't I want her to have a man who desired her in addition to loving her?

I couldn't ever find a way in which it didn't seem selfish of me. People have a need for physical intimacy and choosing to enter into the role where you are "God's provision" for those needs when you know from the beginning you'll never be able to truly fulfill them... just because I didn't want to be alone my whole life... it seemed like the opposite of love. Yet the prospect of this is how some people chose to "encourage" me.

"Well so long as she knows you're gay before marriage, it's okay. She's consenting to it."

Maybe there's truth in that. I'm not sure. Something about it still doesn't sit well with me. It makes sense if the person is ace. I honestly don't know enough about asexuality but from what I've gathered I don't think they would have unmet sexual needs in a sexless marriage or in a marriage with very little sex. However, in the case of gay, bi, pan, and straight women -- they are still signing up to not have their sexual needs met inside the only relationship they would believe would righteously allow for those needs to be met.

Bare minimum, relationships like this are really rare and far far far more complicated than they're ever portrayed as in these conversations, because that complexity kinda dilutes the message they're trying to deliver. I don't want to say that opposite sex marriages for gay Christians are impossible or always bad. I'm sure some people have life giving relationships inside of those marriages. But it shouldn't be treated like every gay person can and should do it.

[the-sapphire-general]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 3)

Well I did say I would make a third part if I had more in mind about Sephiroth. And much to my surprise, there is more! So here it is! Parts 1 and 2 can be found here so you can keep up just in case I mention anything from those posts:

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 1)

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 2)

Now this one will be a little different because I will include more about the portrayals I've seen throughout the Internet, my own opinions about them, and my own portrayal. Plus I will include the essay I wrote about him for one of my college courses and I might say random things about Sephiroth that I will discuss. 

First will be the portrayals of Sephiroth I have noticed throughout the Internet. I will not attack any of these or offend anyone who has these headcanons. I respect everybody's headcanons, and it's a good thing too because being a jerk to anyone who has portrayals that are different from yours is stupid and a waste of time. I have friends whose portrayals are varied, and we don't fight over how Sephiroth should act. Love them, hate them, be neutral to them, just as long as you handle this in a mature manner. 

Now I have mentioned the portrayal of Sephiroth where he's unnaturally hypersexual in part 1, so I will not go into detail about it anymore. It's already been done. Another one I will not discuss again is the mindless killing machine portrayal (mentioned in part 2). To those who do or like these portrayals, I dislike them but I will respect your choice.

Now for the portrayals. The ones I really enjoy are the ones for his Crisis Core self (or pre-Nibelheim if you want to put it that way). As I have stated before, I can relate to his past personality, so I really like a lot of the headcanons. Picturing him, say, struggling to socialize, not knowing much of certain things (i.e. video games), spending time with friends, basically being human is heartwarming for me. I take it a lot of people like CC Sephiroth, and who wouldn't? There was this one story where Sephiroth took a liking to lemon drops, which is one thing I added to my own headcanon page on my blog. I found it rather sweet and cute. That's like me but with chocolate. I love chocolate. And then there's one where he has no idea what a sitcom is due to his sheltered upbringing, and it was pretty amusing to picture Genesis and Angeal trying to explain it to him as they watched TV. There are many others that I don't think I can list since there are so many of them, and for a lot of them, I like them. There's some that I don't, but that's just my personal opinion.

Now for the Sephiroth we all know after the Nibelheim Incident. Man, I'm beginning to remember what I've read. It's hard for me to find some portrayals that I like because the ones I've seen so far were unsettling. Sephiroth being a sadistic rapist is one of the worst ones I've seen so far. Not as in the stories are poorly written or something like that but for me, it's one of my least favorite portrayals. I get that he lost his mind, but I believe he wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't go that far with my own portrayal because it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Just thinking about it makes me uneasy.

I confess that I don't know my limits when it comes to portraying Sephiroth. For a long time, I've been trying to grasp his evil demeanor and I still hesitate to go further and struggle to get inside his head sometimes. So I don't know how far I can go with dark, twisted, cruel scenarios, but rape is one of my limits. I won't reveal the user, but I was recently asked if I could do necrophilia. When I got the question, I was speechless. That's another one of my limits. I really can't imagine Sephiroth being...intimate with a corpse. Much to my relief, they respected my opinion. And I like that. People should respect others because everyone has limits and if I have to force myself to write Sephiroth doing rape, acting all creepily intimate around Jenova, asphyxiation (as in the kink), or something that I don't see him doing, I won't enjoy the roleplays at all. I used to wish I could please everybody, but that's an impossible goal and I should keep in mind about what I want and don't want to do. Again, I don't know my limits too well, so if anyone wants to RP with me on my Sephiroth blog and it involves something that you're not sure if I accept or not, please message me. I'll try to get out of my comfort zone, but please respect my limits. If I don't do certain things, there are other Sephiroth blogs out there. It's simple and it will prevent pointless drama.

My portrayal for Sephiroth is close to his canon self but mixed with his CC side and my own headcanons. I try to stay close to canon as I write, and I silently read what I wrote and then read it out loud while picturing Sephiroth saying it. If what I wrote doesn't work, I revise them until they sound like Sephiroth. It's still not easy because I'm still struggling with his dark, insane, cruel self, the villain everyone knows and loves. One thing is certain is I do try my best to make him more human but still maintaining his character. I can't make him too human or else that ruins his cold and distant qualities, like making him fall madly in love with someone or bawling his eyes out. Now I haven't seen these examples anywhere, so I'm just throwing in random hypothetical headcanons here. The point is I do try my best not to make him too kind, soft, patient, you know, real nice or else that's not really Sephiroth. Lol But I also don't make him relentlessly cruel to the max 24/7. Both extremes aren't portrayals I like, so I am tackling middle ground. It's possible, and if others don't like my portrayal, that's fine, but they shouldn't judge me for it.

Since I'm discussing my own portrayal, I might as well explain other things about it. Let's see, he has interests outside of trying to destroy/conquer the world and messing with Cloud. My character is a loyal follower. Her profile isn't on my blog but her name is Maybelle Rose, and she's Sephiroth's love interest. Speaking of this, I make Sephiroth a bit of a Tsundere towards others, not necessarily involving romance like with Maybelle. He doesn't act like a stereotypical Tsundere, but he's a very, very subtle version. 

Romance. Now this is something that might piss off so many, but I can picture him in a relationship. No, I'm not talking about Crisis Core Sephiroth. I mean post-CC. Say what you want, but I can see it. If done well, it can work. I don't like following the stereotype that villains are incapable of love. Some villains can truly be incapable of love, but not ALL villains. It's not mandatory. A friend of mine claims that Sephiroth is bland. Now I completely disagree with his opinion, but it did give me confidence in pursing romance regarding Sephiroth. Heroes are written as human beings, why not do the same for villains? That's what makes characters compelling, it makes them real. That's what I'm basically trying to do with Sephiroth, and as challenging as it may be at times and despite people probably going against this idea as they read this, I'll do it. My blog now allows shippings. Yes, I now accept shippings. I used to not accept them, but I changed my mind. My reasons are shown in my rant here:

Sephiroth Fandom Rant

Okay I know I said I wouldn't mention the hypersexual Sephiroth portrayal, but I might as well. If he were in a romantic relationship, he wouldn't be like that. Sephiroth doesn't get horny around everyone. Seriously, he's not a sex-obsessed maniac. Sephiroth is a private man with dignity and he would never act extremely sexual, let alone sexual in general. He would be intimate with his significant other, but it would be in a normal level and he would be intimate in private. And I must add that my portrayal does involve Sephiroth having kinks, but he's not sex-obsessed like I said. He has self-control and he keeps things private. 

Now for the next thing. I wrote this essay over two years ago, and apparently I kept it after all this time. Lol Yes I wrote an essay about Sephiroth, back when I was still somewhat of a new fan. The assignment was to do a paper on a criminal, real or fictional, and diagnose them with specific personality disorders. However, it didn't mean that they HAD to have any of these disorders. We just had to show the instructor that we understood the material we have learned during class. Take a look at my essay here:

Essay on Sephiroth

Fun fact: My other choice for this assignment was Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. XD But Sephiroth was a better candidate and I was able to write more about him than I could have ever done about Gaston. Schizoid Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder were two of the ten types of personality disorders that came close to Sephiroth's behavior. I don't consider either of these disorders as my personal headcanons for him. I honestly never did despite Schizoid PD being pretty close. And much to my shock, my instructor liked my paper and I wound up getting an A! I never got an A on any papers, so it felt amazing to finally get a grade that was higher than a C.

Speaking of psychology, one headcanon that's somewhere online is that Sephiroth has autism. Well, it is possible because I have a friend who is autistic, but during my research on this condition, I don't see Sephiroth as autistic. Sure some of his traits do seem to resemble signs and symptoms, but speculation isn't considered a confirmation that he has autism. He might have it but I would rather have Square Enix confirm it if he really is autistic. On another note, I do understand why they headcanon him as autistic. They relate to Sephiroth because some of his traits remind them of themselves. I get that and if they think he's autistic, that's okay with me. This headcanon is also given to Papyrus from Undertale and Pearl and Peridot from Steven Universe, so I'm familiar with this. Even L from Death Note is believed to be autistic. To be honest, I kind of believe it regarding L. That's just my opinion, though.

Tangent aside, courtesy of a friend, I am more intrigued by Sephiroth in a new level. Aside from his appearance and personality, his intelligence, the way he thinks has me curious. Yes I have been trying to get into his head to improve my portrayal, and I think I found a strategy. If I want to portray and act like Sephiroth, I have to think like him...in less destructive ways, might I add. Lol I may not be an expert as Sephiroth yet, but I'll get there. I've come this far on my blog, and I'm not throwing it all away. 

Speaking of my Sephiroth blog, besides that it would be fun and such, I created my own blog because I wanted to express my passion for him. He's one of my role models that made me stronger and I just really admire him. And like I said, I knew I could connect with other fans. Sure, there's a toxic side of the fandom, but that won't stop me. I did feel offended several days ago, as mentioned in my rant, but I'm fine now. In addition to my reasons, I didn't start the blog for fame. Popularity isn't really a big deal for me, I just want to show everyone how much of a Sephiroth fan I am in creative ways. Besides, I found the thought of portraying Sephiroth a fun challenge considering he's my opposite, and he pretty much started my fascination for villains. I also made friends thanks to the blog, one of them being my best friend here on Tumblr. :)

Now to finish this post with one more thing. When I was still a new Sephiroth fan, I confess that I tried to redeem him. Of course it was a difficult task to do for a story, and I admit I was determined to do it. However, as I kept going, I slowly realized doing this implied I didn't like him the way he is, the villain he is widely known as instead of what he used to be before discovering his origins. So I drifted away from redemption and focused on Sephiroth on who he is without changing him. Today, I love Sephiroth for who he is, cruel, cold, calculating, everything. Why change a character you're supposed to love? You wouldn't do that to a real-life partner, or anyone in general. Sephiroth wouldn't have liked me for trying to make him turn a new leaf. Lol So I never pursued redemption for him again. It was too hard anyway. It's like trying to redeem the Joker! That's how hard it was for me. So screw that mind-numbing task, Sephiroth should remain as the badass villain I have grown to love.

Well, this is it. For real this time! Lol This is my final part of the "My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth" posts. I said everything I had to say about Sephiroth as I included all my thoughts, feelings, etcetera. I'm out of things to say about him, so no fourth post! XD If I ever have more Sephiroth-related comments that comes to mind, I'll just make small posts. Will I make more long posts like these? Perhaps. I had fun writing these posts. Maybe I can tackle other topics, or maybe talk about another character in detail. Well, see ya!