#I lent my cat carrier to someone and when they gave it back I went to clean it

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

Going to have to wash my sheets a day early >:(

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

no one else has reblogged ask meme Mondays so I'm just going fucking apeshit with u. from the big boy: b7 for raini bc it's funny, c1 for cog bc it's inchresting, h3 for brilliance bc I know there's some gay shit going on and I want to hear more, then a17 (character proud of themselves or ur proud of ur rp as them) L5 and L6 for whomsoever u want to talk about

I won’t need a readmore for this one, I tell myself. There’s not that many questions, and they’re not proseboys. I was a fool. She’s too long to be allowed to run on people’s dashboards unrestrained 😔 Thank you! For going apeshit!!

Raini

B7. How do they respond to babies crying in public? I guarantee the image you have for how Raini would react to a crying baby is 10000% correct. She’s unhappy. Uncomfortable. Unimpressed. Can you please make that thing be quiet. Why did you have it if you can’t mange it. This is why she’s never having kids. Like she’s not gonna say anything to the parents or shoot them dirty looks, because she’s not that specific flavor of asshole, but she’s going Mind Her Business and vacate the premises if possible. People who want to take care of something should just get a cat. Goddamn. There is ONE (1) baby that may qualify for an exception, and that’s Red. This is because (and please, picture Raini, the absolute picture of ‘fed up’, squatting down to look a fussy Red in the eye while she says this) “Baby Lent. You’re better than this. I know you are, and you’re letting me down. You need to stop making that noise.” This is unrelated to the question, but please also picture a Raini who was asked (blackmailed?) into babysitting using her Mage Hand to change Red’s diaper. It has nothing to do with the question but I think it’s a Very funny mental image. Thank you.

Cog

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? Absolutely! The way Cog approaches the world is defined by three main mantras: - Kindness is a discipline, not a character trait. - Doing the right thing isn’t always easy, but it is always worth doing. - If you are able to help someone, you have an obligation to do so. Between these three things, Cog sees the world in pretty black and white terms. There are right decisions, and wrong ones. The difference between the two is usually clear to anyone who cares to look, and so most of the evil in the world is born of selfishness. Consequently, Cog does very poorly in morally grey situations. She will commit without hesitation to any course of action that she deems “right” and “kind” no matter how drastic or dangerous it is, but she pretty much shuts down the second she’s faced with a decision that has consequences for someone regardless of what she does.  I’m sure that has not, and will not, come in her life ever at all. Ahah!  I think originally, this worldview was born of naivety. She grew up that religious kind of super sheltered where everything in the secular world was dangerous and dirty, and so when Cog began to realize that definitely wasn’t the case she made the choice to intentionally see the best in people and the world around her to fight what she was told growing up. When she started traveling with her party and actually seeing more of the world than the extremes of a) shitty cult town b) shiny clean magic school, she began to realize that the true state of the Wasteland was somewhere between what her Mama had told her and what she wanted to believe it was. But I’ve never in my life made a character who is stubborn as hell deep down, so instead of letting the world she found herself in change her Cog took a deep breath, rolled up her sleeves, and settled in to be the one changing it by loving and helping the people around her.

Brilliance

H3. Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right? I think Brilliance absolutely adores the idea of two people being made for one another. Two souls, wandering the world looking for one another? Who slot together so perfectly that when they find each other it’s clear they never could have fit anywhere else? Bruh. Yes, she knows love takes work. Sometimes you and your partner are going to disagree, and sometimes there’s going to be conflict. The world isn’t “love at first sight” then smooth sailing for the rest of your life. But you put in the work to make your lives better, together, because the universe gave you this person to care for. Maybe there are many people who you could be happy with, and those relationships aren’t anything to look down on. But when you find The One, Brilliance thinks, you know. She certainly did.

Don’t Worry About It

A17. What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves? Gonna hijack this question to talk about rp moments I’m proud of because Alex sorta kinda gave me permission to do that! Alright! For Raini, the biggest rp moment I’m proud of was her “I’m getting our memories back” speech a few sessions ago, specifically the line, “We’ve been fighting with one hand tied behind our backs for too long. If we’re going to die fighting this thing, I want to know exactly what I’m fighting for.” Morgan and I had been planning to kick off our return from July Hell Hiatus with Wish Two for a couple of days, which meant I was lucky enough to be able to spend a little while planning what to say. I feel like that line in particular embodies Raini’s unwavering confidence in her magic, her determination, and her specific brand of caring for the people around her without actually admitting that’s what she’s doing. I also really liked the way the scene of her apologizing to the party for being Bitchy post losing Magic for a minute went! Idk if anyone else remembers it, because it was pretty short in game, but! I thought it was a very good moment of Raini finding the most Roundabout way to say “thank you for looking out for me while I was defenseless”.  If I can pat myself on the back a little, my Cog monologues kick Ass. The most recent one was when she was talking to Ace about how War is Bad (radical, I know) and there was a moment where she looked at him and said, “...I’m not going to ask for your help, because I don’t know what I’ll do if I do and you say no.” Which. OOF. That was her and I realizing in real time that she and Ace were very much on different sides of this issue. When the session ended everyone said they Loved how good and hurtful that conversation was and I :’) Also, there was a really small moment when Cog was pleading for Maelo’s life (when Sunny’s dad had him locked in a cat carrier. It’s a Long story, made slightly better by the fact that Maelo was wildshaped into a cat at the time) and Cog went Straight for the dad heartstrings by sniffling and asking if, please, would Robert at least let her say goodbye to her friend before he killed him? Please? 😢  She is using her baby face for EVIL!  And oh my god how could I forget! Arcane Timeout! When the party went back to New Alexandria and was confronted by Ace for helping a prisoner escape (which, in fairness, Maelo did do) and Cog brought the encounter screeching to a halt by casting Wall of Stone to make a timeout hut with herself and Ace inside. She then sat herself down, looked Ace dead in the eye, and told him that the wall wasn’t coming down until he actually talked to her, or until he broke her concentration on the spell. She banked hard on him not being willing to hurt her, and it paid off. There were tears all around, both in and out of character. It was Wonderful. Also! I do just want recognition for the fact that I did not give into my impulses to be a little Shit as Cog last session by subtle casting Heal in Ace’s face after he Counterspelled my Healing Word. it was what I Rebekah wanted to do more than anything; unfortunately Cog is a better person than I am. There is No worse feeling than wanting so badly to do something you have no choice but to admit isn’t in character. Rip.  For whatever reason, all of my favorite Brilliance rp moments came during combat. Pressing her forehead to Sabre’s after he died in silent grief, forcefully taking a Narzugon off his Nightmare and then using Misty Step to mount it herself and take off after her friend, planting herself in the chokepoint of a hallway to stare down three minotaurs so she could keep her party safe behind her, pushing deeper into the hellwasp nest to rescue Dembe and Sabre despite knowing that doing so all but destroyed her chance of making it out alive, the list goes on. There were good out of combat moments too (despite the rest of the party’s best efforts 🙄), but I feel like for once I made a character who really shone in combat.  oh GOD I just remembered one really really good rp moment, when our rogue Zihro died when he got separated from the party during combat. We finished taking care of the main devil we were fighting, then began searching the dungeon for Zihro and the npc he was with. We, instead, found both of their corpses. Dembe looked to Brilliance, our healer, and demanded to know why she was just standing there instead of fixing their friend. We were only level three or four at the time, so Brilliance had to tell Dembe, again and again, that she couldn’t fix Zihro. It was too late, she wasn’t powerful enough yet, her goddess wouldn’t answer a prayer like that- It was a rough scene, and without question one of the best rp moments I’ve had with that group. Tae, if you’re reading this, you’re the only one with rights. Also, please unfollow this blog immediately.  Now as a quick pick-me-up after that mess, Pip’s best rp moment was when our barbarian Durokal -who couldn’t read and had a habit of running off and causing Problems- found a plaque he could tell had five words on it, and called Pip over to read it for him when Pip finished chasing him down. Pip, annoyed and out of breath and all of two feet tall, looked up at this 7 foot half-orc and told him, “It says: I’m. Gonna. Kick. Your. Ass.” Also, he regularly called very powerful figures in Barovia by sweet nicknames with “Mr.” in the front. As a sign of Respect. Because he’s the Best. sdfhsdkfj he also he couldn’t think of a fake name quick enough one time so he told an npc that is name was Dick and he was Very embarrassed about it. She: bought it!

Brilliance, Again

L5. Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally?  AKA, which is supposed to a “good guy”? The answer is Cog, but we already went in depth on her morals this ask. She’s HAD enough screen time let’s move on. Brilliance is the only other character who, if asked, would say they saw themselves as a good guy instead of just “a person”. She strives to do right by the people around her, and to protect the light and beauty found in the world. She doesn’t have the same illusions about the world wanting to be a good place that Cog does, and she very much understands that sometimes the best thing you can do for the world is to put the things that make it dangerous six feet under. What’s interesting I think is that, despite being a paladin, she isn’t Lawful Good! She’s Neutral Good, because you know what? She wants to do the right thing, and laws aren’t always right. It’s up to you, as a person with a mind and free will and agency, to look at a situation and decide what you think is the right thing to do. And, for Brilliance, generally the right thing to do is heft her sword, raise her shield, and face trouble head on.

Raini, Once More

L6. Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a “bad guy”? I don’t have any evil aligned characters, because I personally find things like “getting along with my party members” sexy, but the character who’s the shittiest and the worst is obviously Raini. She’s not a bad person per say, she’s just selfish and results oriented. Very much “the ends justify the means” and in a party like hers she’s aware that somebody has to be the bad guy sometimes, and she’s not afraid to make sure that’s her. She’s also very very likely to fall victim to her hubris making her feel like she definitely knows what’s best, and acting on that maybe without consulting other people (see: the whole fucking premise of the campaign). She sees a goal, she sees a way to accomplish that goal, so why shouldn’t she begin taking the necessary steps to reach it? I think the events of the game have mellowed this flaw out a little bit, but you can still see traces of it in the way she, for example, wordlessly handed Lent a bunch of diamonds before launching her consciousness into the Abeast and very nearly dying in there without consulting with the party first. It happens!  Also, behaviorally, she’s just. I mean. She’s like that. The worst. And that, I promise, will never change. 

[doubleoh7q]

Short 5/15: Dictator

The doorbell rang on Q’s day off. It took a minute to work out what the noise was. The list of people that knew his address was short, four of the five people on it had a key. The last one was R. Sure enough, Q opened the door to reveal a frazzled R. Before he could ask what in the blazes are you doing here she spoke. ’48 hours Q. That’s all I need from you.’ ’48 hours?’ Q furrowed his brow in confusion. ‘What for?’ ‘To take Sergeant Mayweather for the next couple days?’

‘Sergeant who?’ In response, R’s body tilted as she hefted a cat carrier off the ground. ‘My cat.’ Q stood silent and was halfway to saying I suppose we could take care of him when Bond came out of their bedroom to see what was happening. James had seen the cat for all a second when he spoke. ‘No.’ Q was looking back at his boyfriend, James met his eye. ‘We do not need another cat. You have four.’ R butted in, ‘Only for two days! He’s friendly!’ James scoffed, ‘I have never met a friendly cat. Only tolerable ones.’ ‘She’ll pick him back up on…’ He looked back at R. ‘Monday?’ She nodded. ‘Monday. It’s for two days.’ James still looked sceptical, but it was Q’s flat, so he vetoed the agent. ‘We’ll take him.’ Bond huffed off to the kitchen. He needed coffee if there was going to be more than four furballs under his feet. Meanwhile, R had set Sergeant Mayweather in the lounge and was rattling off vet details and contact numbers and diet needs and what embassy to talk to if they needed her. Oh and he only answers to Sergeant so don’t skip his title. Dutifully, Q chimed in with the occasional we will, or an, of course, don’t worry. Once R was satisfied, she lent down to pat the Sergeant and then headed out the door. The only trace she’d ever been there at all was the giant pile of caged fur meowing at the top of his lungs. Left alone, both men hesitated to let the Sergeant out of his carrier. Leaning down with their hands pressed against their knees, they got their first proper look at R’s cat. Bond spoke first, ‘Are we sure that’s a cat? Like really, really sure?’ ‘What else would it be?’ Q asked. ‘Q, if that’s just a cat, then I’m just a house husband.’ Q rolled his eyes. ‘It’s a Maine Coon, they’re a bit bigger than the average cat.’ Keeping eye contact with Sergeant Mayweather, Bond leaned over to whisper in Q’s ear. ‘It’s like it knows all our weaknesses. You think R briefed it?’ Q turned to his fiancé, incredulous. ‘Really, Bond? It’s a cat.’ Defensively, Bond turned to Q. ‘What? She might have.’ Q didn’t respond, didn’t want to dignify the idea. Instead, he opened the carrier door and offered to cook breakfast in a blatant attempt to distract James. Ten minutes, four eggs, two slices of toast and a cup of earl grey later, the distraction had worked. They’d pushed their plates to the side and were working on the Sunday crossword when the first crash sounded from the living room. Bond had moved to stand between Q and the doorway before Q had even looked up. He was used to weird noises in the apartment, after years of living with cats, Q tends to suspect them before an intruder. Bond was not as adjusted, years of fieldwork meant he was hardwired to react to the worst-case scenario. After a minute or so of silence, the couple decided to investigate. A quick assessment of the living room revealed a pot plant in the far corner as the source of the noise. But having stood upright for more than a year, they doubted it was a victim of the wind. Another look round the room found Sergeant Mayweather behind James’ armchair, the Maine Coon’s head covered in soil. ‘Guess we found our man.’ Bond muttered. Q was quick to explain. ‘He’s settling in.’ ‘He’s terrorising our house plants.’ James countered ‘He’s just getting situated.’ ‘He’s worse than Spectre.’ Bond said. Q swatted his arm. ‘You’re comparing knocking over a plant to terrorism.’ ‘All I’m saying is that at least Spectre has their reasons. Cats are just…’ he paused, thinking. ‘They’re destructive for fun.’ James finished.

While the two newly engaged love birds bickered over the morals of cats, with Bond standing firm and Q expressing his concern for assigning human ideals onto animals, Sergeant Mayweather had moved from living room to kitchen. It took precisely two minutes and forty-seven seconds for James tor realise the cat had left the room. And he stopped Q mid-sentence. ‘Where’s the cat?’ ‘He probably got sick of looking at you.’ Q quipped. Bond gave him a mock glare, about to shoot off a line about how Q loved looking at him when a second crash came from the kitchen. They didn’t have to move from where they were standing to see the remains of Bond’s favourite mug on the floor. James took a breath. ‘We are never cat sitting again.’ Another crash sounded, and a spout, detached from its teapot skated into view. ‘James-’ Bond held up a hand, cutting Q off, and took another breath. Q gave him that mug for their first Christmas together. That teapot was a gift from Moneypenny when Q’s tech saved her life.  That cat was out to get them. ‘I take it back. This isn’t cat sitting, Q. This is an attack.’ Q was right on the edge of expressing just how ridiculous James sounded. He was talking about a cat like it was a dictator for Christ’s sake! Only his concern was reallocated when the sound of glass clinking started up. Q pushed past his fiancé to stand in the kitchen entrance. The main coon was perched on the countertops, his front paws resting on the shelves above. The shelves with the crystal glassware Q had inherited, and the decanting set Bond had recovered from Skyfall. Bond pressed behind him, both men’s eyes locked on Sergeant Mayweather’s precarious position. ‘Do we move it?’ Bond whispered. Q didn’t think that would help. ‘What if it sees us coming and jolts?’ ‘What if we lured it away?’ ‘With what?’ ‘Catnip?’ Bond suggested. Q couldn’t believe he’d said that with a straight face. ‘You want to get Sergeant Mayweather high?’ ‘If it would help.’ Bond said, apparently serious. Q considered that it couldn’t possibly make the situation any worse. ‘Do you have catnip?’ he asked. Bond looked at him in disbelief. ‘You don’t?’ With no other suggestions, they went with plan A: grab it. Q volunteered Bond as the grabber. ‘Why do I have to do it?’ ‘You suggested it.’ Q reminded. ‘Right. Okay. Just grab.’ Bond moved in front of Q towards the Sergeant. Then paused. ‘Q?’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘What do I do once I’ve grabbed him?’ ‘Get him out of the kitchen, I’ll close the door.’ ‘Right. Bond moved towards the cat again. He took slow, cautious steps right up until Sergeant Mayweather took a swat at a whiskey glass. He moved quickly after that. Pulling the cat off the counter and heaving it out of the kitchen. Bond set him down in the hallway. Q closed the kitchen door and then set to close the living room off as well. Once they were left standing in the tight hallway, they realised their mistake. Sergeant Mayweather’s hackles had raised, and he was stalking closer, hissing furiously. ‘We could lock ourselves in the bedroom.’ ‘This really isn’t the time to be flirting, Bond.’ ‘Not like that. To get away from the thing that looks like it wants to kill us.’ ‘Oh.’ Q said, almost disappointed. ‘But if you wanted to…’ Bond glanced at Q, trailing off with a raised brow. ‘James.’ Said Q, firmly. ‘Right. Not the time.’ Maybe later, James thought. The cat pounced, taking a claw to Bond’s dressing gown. Bond pushed him off and the cat prepared to attack again. ‘On second thought..’ Q said, and they moved into the bedroom. Bond slammed the door behind them, and an ungodly assault from the other side of the door started up. ‘Call her.’ Bond said. ‘We’ve had him less than three hours.’ ‘Call her.’ Bond said again. They stared at each other, the Sergeant’s assault on their bedroom door continuing in the background. ‘Fine. Q relented. He crossed the room to his phone and dialled her number. After four rings, she picked up. ‘What’s up, Q? How’s my kitty? ‘Alive.’ He wondered how to put it. ‘Look, you need to ask Mallory for the key to the flat.’ ‘Is everything alright?’ She asked. Bond pulls the phone from Q to yell, ‘No. It is not alright!’ before handing it back. Q is slightly calmer. ‘You need to come and get your cat.’ R was starting to get concerned. ‘Is he okay?’ ‘Presently, and he’ll stay that way as long as you come get him in the next hour.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because after that I can’t guarantee that I won’t hand Bond a gun and tell him to shoot.’ ‘I’ll be there in twenty.’ The line clicked out. The bedroom door continued to be the target of an all-out war. The Maine Coon appeared to be winning. Twenty minutes later, the scratching suddenly stopped. The two men listened, cautious of the creature outside the door. They strained to hear paw steps in the hall, and then R’s voice rang out, sounding higher than usual. ‘There’s my Sergeant Mayweather!’ And then a few seconds later. ‘’It’s safe now. boys!’ Sheepishly, James and Q cracked open the door, checking it really was safe before stepping into the hall. The gawked at the sight of R, rocking the Maine Coon in her arms. ‘What did you do to my cat?’ She asked. Bond was outraged. ‘Us?’ He blustered, stepping forward. Q put a  hand out to hold him back. ‘The carrier’s where you left it. You need to find someone else to cat sit.’ R got the message, and she was gone in less than a minute, taking Sergeant Mayweather with her. James opened the living room door to see soil strewn across the carpeting. Q opened the kitchen up to be greeted by smashed wares. Both of them stepped back into the hall, closing the doors again. They looked at each and silently agreed that this was a problem for later and that right now they should get dressed and then go for lunch. It was their day off, after all.

[wild-wisteria]

About that one time the stars aligned

A week ago I was out in the woods collecting plants to dry and use for the craft. Since it was my first time in that particular part of the woods and honestly I haven’t been to that part of the county in ages I didn’t really find much. I decided on a whim to go again the next day in the idea that I’d be more comfortable on a second try.

Not even 2 meters into the woods I stumble upon what could only be referred to as furry balls of joy. Someone abandoned 6 kittens at the entrance of the woods. All of them were grey with light striping and all of them were curious as hell. I was with a friend and we decided to call animal rescue to alert them to the situation. While I was doing this, one particular kitten was purring and rubbing up against my ankles. As I tried to step away it grabbed my leg in a hug-like fashion. I decided to let it do its thing while I was on the phone. It promptly rolled onto its back and kept stroking her face on my boot. The second I tried to walk towards the main road to wait for the animal rescue guys it started meowing and following me.

The guys showed up and went to work gathering them and looking for others in case more were abandoned. I was about to leave them to their work until that one kitten started losing its mind and meowing after me. Now, imagine that a week prior my parents kind of gave me their blessings to get a pet. They preferred I got a dog even though I really wanted a cat. I might live on my own but if ever I had to leave town for any reason, my pet would fall under their responsibility. Let’s just say they’re not cat people at all. But, I’ve wanted a kitten for a long time and by some odd whim I found these kittens on the exact day they were abandoned in a remote part of the woods. I mean, yeah, they were at the entrance of the woods but that entrance was at the side of a infrequently taken road outside of town, backwoods so to say.

So I made a snap decision and offered to adopt a kitten on the spot. The guys faces when I requested the yowling one that’s a bit out of it’s mind was priceless. Nonetheless, there I was, the next day, in a vet’s office, with a cat carrier my grandmother lent me, taking HER to get treatment for fleas and parasites.

I now have Penny, who is about 2 months old, slightly underweight (but we’re working on that) and the biggest menace to breakables that you could possible imagine. She has accidentally scratched me, knocked over and broken multiple things on my witching work surface (including crystals- how do you even break crystals?).

Her favourite part of the day is waking me up by bouncing on me and her second favourite part of the day is when she starts napping the exact minute I have enough down time to give her my full attention.

You always imagine that witchy aesthetic where you’re reading tarot or grinding herbs and your cat elegantly struts around watching you and all is zen. NO. I’m starting to think that that’s a myth. Because so far my kitten stumbles all over my tarot spread, knocks over my vials and paws my crystals.

But I digress... the love is there. She reminds me of me- breaking everything on a road paved with good intentions. I get a bit mad and then decompress over the fact that I’m also a bull in a china shop. So yeah, the stars aligned and I found Penny. She got a home (+ a bunch of vet visits) and I got a partner in crime who I can complain to at the end of the day (or in the morning when I’m getting ready). Kinda felt like it was meant to be. Probably thinking too much into it but things do feel like they’ve fallen into place.

And of course as I finish up typing this snuggled up in bed, I turn around and see one single shoelace on the floor in the area where Penny was playing. That little shit went into a shoe box under my bed and stole a shoe lace.

Achievement unlocked: 1 week with Penny