#I learned how to ominously chant in Gregorian hymns and people stopped fucking with me
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Alright apparently I’m now outnumbered in my small office for not carrying anything defensive like pepper spray, a taser, or a metal baton every day.
#poll#polls#girl we are in the SUBURBS#what do you MEAN you carry pepper spray on your keychain#what do you MEAN you have a metal baton in your car right now#what do you MEAN my boss bought pepper gel for the front desk#WE ARE IN THE SUBURBS?? AN OFFICE IN THE SUBURBS?? A SMALL SLEEPY OFFICE BUILDING?? IN?? THE?? SUBURBS??#I used to work in the sketchiest drug riddled street in the city where I’d get off shift at 1am carrying lots of cash#I never carried anything#I learned how to ominously chant in Gregorian hymns and people stopped fucking with me#I told a man in a chipper customer service voice that unfortunately today was Wednesday and not Sunday so he couldn’t rob me at knifepoint#and he got befuddled long enough for me to hop onto the train#am I just unusually Looney Toons coded? is that my secret?#STREET SMARTS -throws decoy wallet-#my boss genuinely wondered if he should train me how to use pepper gel by going into the parking lot and getting sprayed by it#because?? that’s?? how?? he?? learned??#SIR
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