#I laughed so hard I had to have my ventolin 💀

[burgercheese1812]

OK SO:

I just read this post by @fryingpan1234567 , it’s headcanon’s about CHB movie nights (if you haven’t already GO READ IT RIGHT NOW)

And one of the headcanon’s is about how they would watch Disney’s Hercules (obviously) and how Conner gets embarrassed when the depiction of his dad (Hermes) comes on and I was like:

“Wait, I honestly can’t remember what most of the gods looked like, I didn’t really pay them much attention when I first watched it” (it has also been a while since I watched it)

ANYWAY-

(look the animation and designs are definitely cool so don’t come at me)

I googled it and-

NAH- BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS????? THIS AIN’T HERMES THIS IS SOME GOOFY LOOKING MASCOT FROM THAT FRENCH BRAND HERMÉS

WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE SOME HIPSTER FAIRY 💀💀

THEN I GOOGLED THE OTHERS CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS AND-

WHAT HAPPENED TO DIONYSUS??? HE’S THE GOD OF WINE AND GRAPES NOT TOMATOES

TELL ME HE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE THIS:

🍅

ARES???? WHY IS HE LIKE THAT??? THAT CREEPY LITTLE SMILE??? HE GIVES OFF THE SAME VIBES AS SMÉAGOL FROM BLOODY LORD OF THE RINGS

*sees nuclear weapons* “mY pReCiOuS”

BETTER KEEP THOSE FIREARMS LOCKED AWAY AND SAFE GUYS OR THIS IS WHAT YOU’LL FIND AT 3AM

BRO’S LOOKING WORSE THAN MY SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON GOD DAMN

Do I even need to say anything.

This is why the bottom of the ocean is shrouded in darkness, specifically so we don’t have to see THIS face when we’re down there.

Y’know I actually like this one.

My only complaint?

He’s meant to be ugly. 😔