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adelvne · 6 years

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izzie’s back with her 2nd character y’all!! ( i also play erika fyi ) you can check out adeline’s bio here and tldr + plots under the cut :’) like this if you wanna plot with my darling or feel free to slide into my ims!

( tw: racism, bullying )

adopted when she was baby from china and brought to live in boot hill, az bc her parents thought it was a nice, wholesome place to raise a kid

which it was ( for the most part )

ah-de-leen, pls. named after her dad’s mom.

the merciers raised her without thinking much of her chinese heritage, like they molded her to be a nice all-american girl without realizing that would mess up her sense of her identity and leave her feeling v lost and confused bc she was probably like one of the few asian kids in boot hill!!

went to church every sunday. merciers are v christian. adeline herself isn’t so sure about religion anymore.

faced a fair amount of racism and ignorance growing up, esp in elementary and middle school. got a lot of why don’t you look like your parents/racial taunts/general confusion & ignorance/etc

she assimilated v well tho out of a desire to be accepted. in high school, bc she felt out of place, she focused on fitting in w everyone. was a cheerleader, student council vp, played piano, went to parties. a true chameleon. some ppl were jealous of her, thinking that she acted too good for them/whatever. others were like wow ur so exotic!!!!! but overall, it was fine. had a desire to reconnect w her chinese heritage, but that never went anywhere until she graduated.

graduated at the top of her class and went to columbia for school. was a big surprise to everyone bc who leaves boot hill?? esp for fuckin nyc and ivy leagues?? but off she went!

boot hill prepared her for nothing. going from boot hill to the ~real world~ was a shock and a half, and she definitely struggled. a lot. nearly failed her first semester. i think being somewhere different was intoxicating in itself, and it was easy to forget about going back home bc there was always, always something to do that she wouldn’t go back home for breaks.

met other asians and adoptees, really started to find more of herself. explored her sexuality more. got drunk and high. typical college things.

started searching for her biological mother during college but to no avail since her parents were p cagey about info. the merciers were well-meaning and caring, but also oblivious and selfish. didn’t want her to go chasing after her old family.

got pregnant when she was 22 bc well.....things happen. she was supposed to stay in nyc after graduating and start a new life with her boyfriend who promised he’d stick around for their kid. honestly, they really might’ve stayed together if he hadn’t died from being in the wrong place the wrong time. he was kinda involved in some shady shit tho.

she found later after he hadn’t come back to their apartment, and wanting to leave everything behind, moved back to boot hill to be with her parents. plus it’d be better for her son, anyway, bc for all her parents’ faults, they’d be good for her son and she needed the help.

rumors followed her immediately after she came back---who’s the father, what she’s running from, even she can’t escape boot hill---but they died down after a couple of months. worked in the schoolhouse cafe and saved up money until she was 26 and opened the olive branch bar to bring a lil bit of nyc to boot hill.

3 years later, her business is thriving, her son’s doing great, and she has a nice place in the desert willow apartments. life is fine. but she still feels like something is missing.

she’s kind, well-spoken, and poised. trustworthy---people were telling her all sorts of shit through hs and college bc she just seemed like the type to never tell your secrets and give good advice. it’s not that she minded, it’s just sometimes it was too much?? pretty private, doesn’t talk much about the time she left boot hill. still puts on an act. feels like she’s reached a dead end.

nicknames are adele, lina, elle, delle, etc. never addie.

plots!!

babysitting charges - her parents were well-off, true, but they always emphasized making your own way, so she did babysitting around town during high school. she’s watched these kids grow up, and now they’ve changed a lot. maybe it’s a older sister kind of thing??

friends - friends from high school in boot hill, those she’s reconnected with after returning, the friends she’s made with newcomers that have settled in, anything goes! pls give my gal some friends! i’d love some ride or dies and really close friendships that have stood the test of time. even if she kinda went off the grid. also, friendships that have had to put back together and fixed after time drew them apart!

will they won’t they - u know how this goes :~)

exes - give me the angsttttt. probably a high school rlship, and also any that happened when she moved back after college since she moved back when she was 22/23. amicable exes, a bad break-up, lingering feelings, let’s work something out! bi, but was closeted in hs bc there was a bunch of shit she was working out. hs ex-girlfriends??

flings, dates, whatever. she gets out sometimes ok. flirtations, that that fun stuff.

someone to help her in searching for her biological family, but how fruitful that’ll be in a town like boot hill who knows

people resent her for leaving and then coming back like? why the hell would you come back idk

do u have kids? playdates w her kid. he’s 7 and adorable.

pretty open to newcomers. are you a newcomer/recently settled? maybe she showed you around! maybe you’re friends! maybe something more!

local connections! people she’s been around her whole life for better or for worse.

confidants!! this could go both ways, maybe she trusts you enough to open up to you

regulars at the olive branch bar!!

#southbound.intro

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intothespideyverses · 6 years

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a modest reinterpretation of “andi’s choice” in c-minor (inspired by a post by @ambimack)

in which bowie ghostwrites a song, andi tries to go ghost on walker, and [insert third awful ghost pun here]:

so bowie is actually ringing up customers for once at the music store that I figured rarely got business because helloo it’s always damn near empty but I guess today there was a surge of customers seeking out guitar picks and vinyls to show how Cultured and Unique they were for listening to the beatles or whomever. anyway jonah is on his guitar, doing as jonahs are wont to do, and bowie drops the bomb on him with “so yeah remember that music coach I told you about? she hates you. she quite frankly and literally wants you dead. she told me this herself. why didn’t you show up???” and jonah’s like “andi don’t fw me anymore :(” which isn’t rly an answer bc lbr here homeboy was ALREADY running late. you mean to tell me him staring at that painting took 4 whole minutes? nah.

so anyway bowie’s like “hm let’s change that” bc manipulating your daughter’s emotions behind her back is cool I guess. bowie, totally not projecting in any way whatsoever, suggests that jonah write andi a song. jonah’s not about it tho. “I can’t talk about my feelings!” he says, which is true considering he only just started exhibiting negative emotions for the first time ever last week. bowie goes, “sure u can! what rhymes with back?” and jonah almost says “crack!” bc thats clearly what bowie’s been on for the past 2 episodes but lemme not.

anyway jump to andi @ the spoon and her boo thang who’s not rly her boo thang yet bc terri hates us is facetiming her again. “so andi, my wife whom I would die for, what’s up?” and andi replies “my best friend is moving away :(” so walker, the understanding king he is, goes “aw pick your head up queen, your crown’s falling :’)” and tells her to go be with her friends and something about a bubble machine idk but w/e we still stan.

buffy comes in w/ all the junk the ghc left at her house including a knockoff tamagotchi which seems kinda before andi’s time?? like she was supposedly 7 when she got it which would have been around 2010? but once again w/e we still stan. and buffy reads the recommendation letter cyrus’ mom wrote for him which seemed a tad incomplete. “I can’t believe my mom forgot to add three references, what a waste...” he sighs.

but walker comes in and andi’s like “tf didn’t u just tell me to drink bubble soap and be w/ my friends? what r u doing here?” and walker, the modern day da vinci, says “im here to draw ur friends as a going away present for your fellow queen, buffy” and buffy looks shooketh like hey if andi don’t want him go get him sis!

so walker draws a louvre level artist rendering of the ghc and instead of appreciating the fact that walker could probably make an exact recreation of the mona lisa, andi’s like “*rolls eyes emoji* *sucks teeth emoji* now i got TWO of these little boys after me what the fuck -_-” but that doesn’t matter bc buffy and cyrus are LIVING for it.

“im gay so clearly im the better sassy best friend, step tf back bitch”

“the sassy best friend stereotype was made for my black ass cyrus so if you think for even a second I won’t claim my rightful spot you are sadly mistaken”

“let me have this one thing buffy I can’t even say the word gay out loud on this damn show can I at least have this?? can I?”

buffy takes a sip of her virgin margarita and goes...

anyway back at the music shop, jonah has just finished practicing the song bowie ghostwrote for him. jonah’s like “great this is perfect for me to sing outside andi’s window” and bowie quite litcherally flips a table and goes “you rly thought u were gonna pull that corny shit??? what year is it?? 1985 called they want their courtship technique back lol what a loser” and jonah’s like hm perhaps he really is on crack but doesn’t say it out loud bc that would hurt bowie’s feelings :/. bowie says that he already booked jonah to perform at the open mic being held THAT NIGHT lmao and jonah just about has another panic attack bc what??

“what??” he asks bowie who is too busy thinking about him performing “you girl” to bex when they were younger to even remember who jonah even is. jonah’s quite honestly shitting himself and wondering what tf he’s going to do. “being around you” is cute and all but it doesn’t go nearly as hard as andi deserves, especially if he now has to compete with artsy fartsy walker who could probably redo the sistine chapel all by himself if he rly wanted to. “hm..........how can one convey how truly deep in their feelings they are for the one they love?” jonah asks the universe, bc hey it seems to always work for bowie.

the universe responds by sending a speeding car full of college kids blasting aubrey graham’s newest hit single right into the storefront window.

“that’s it!”

jonah’s handing out flyers at the spoon and cyrus literally melts into a puddle and I’m pretty sure this is the first nod to his crush on jonah since he came out to andi wow. andi’s like “since when do u do anything aside from throwing a plastic disc?” and jonah’s like “last week 🤗"

they go to the open mic and some girlie is throwing it DOWN w/ her accordion but bowie being the uncultured swine he is, pulls her off the stage. “anywayyyy here’s our final performance and the only reason we held this show tonight, give a big round of applause to jonah beck!”

jonah walks out with his guitar and an amazon copyrighted product shaped like a portable speaker. bowie’s like 🤨 bc this was supposed to be an acoustic performance tf does he need a backing track for? jonah sits down on his lil stool and clears his throat. “alexa play ‘in my feelings, jonah beck cover’”. the device plays a track consisting of jonah’s angelic backing vocals, and our boy begins to strum his guitar. he opens his mouth to croon...

“trap...trap bowie bowie”

bowie’s chiseled jaw drops to dirty ass music shop floor. “this is...not what I planned.”

“this stuff’s got me in my feelings...gotta be real w/ it...”

the entire audience has a collective heart attack.

“an-di, do u luv me? r u riding? say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, cause I want ya and I need ya, and I’m down for u always...”

buffy and cyrus catch whiplash from turning so fast to face andi. “the song’s about YOU bitch!”

andi shakes her lil head. “puh-lease, no it’s not”

cyrus, doing his best not to cry, says “he literally just said ur name but go off”

andi’s in denial bc eww j*n*h b*ck? singing a song? for her? disgusting. but jonah keeps singing his little heart out and the lyrics are more and more damning as they go on.

“trap, trap bowie bowie...I buy you rice on a string cause you not that showy”

“art 101 cause u just like zoey”

“fuck he is singing about me...”

“fudge that netflix and chill what’s ur net-net-net worth?” jonah sings, hitting an impossible high note. queen of vocals.

“you’re the only one I luv~~~” he serenades, serving us mariah carey level whisper notes. ariana is cancelled! our boy finishes the song, basking in the thought of how many careers he singlehandedly ended by performing at this small hole-in-the-wall music shop in bumfuck, utah. drake your days are numbered sis.

everyone immediately deserts the shop en masse like did y’all see how fast they all left last episode?? damn. buffy and cyrus stay behind while andi is frozen sitting in her chair bc what the hell does one say to that.

bowie goes up to jonah and is like “so um...that was...different.” and jonah responds “ikr! see, ‘being around you’ felt too old school, too...2002. idk why that year specifically, but idk it just sounds like it was written in 2002 for a completely different person, maybe even bex, but what do I know? im just your friendly neighborhood jonah beck.” bowie is shook. “anyway, do u think andi liked it?” bowie looks up to see his dorder who he’s more or less forgot about in favor of m*randa and demon child for the past couple of days walking in slow motion to the stage. how she was doing that was beyond him. “well, she looks like she’s about to cry so that’s either a very good thing or a very bad thing. ur on ur own now bud.” and he skidaddles to where bex is waiting. oh yeah bex was in this episode too I forgot.

andi approaches jonah and he’s like “...so...song....you like?” and andi’s internally screaming bc everyone for the past several weeks has been pushing this relationship on her including jonah himself and now he just sung this song in front of all these ppl and now she pretty much HAS to kiss him so anyway ya she does.

when she pulls away jonah blinks. “oh...dosche”

THE END.

will andi finally break up with jonah for good? will jonah avoid copyright infringement for covering a drake song on disney channel? will bowie seek help for his crack addiction? find out next time on dragonball z!

#this is...several levels of terrible #andi mack

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convenientalias · 6 years

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Guys I watched the Sense8 Finale

And I am super happy with it (how do they manage to finish things so neatly? Directors/writers are fuckign genius) and the rest of this post will be below the cut because so many spoilers

First of all, I thought for sure it would be cramming a hell of a lot into two and a half hours and wondered if they could really end BPO that fast, but in the end, of course they knew what really mattered:

-People eating pizzas and singing out car windows

-Getting all the family together, and not just the cluster!

-A stunning and surreal orgy sequence

Because this is what we really look for from Sense8, am I right? (Incidentally I would have to say the one area where the finale kind of failed was in tying up Capheus’ threads but also it wasn’t going to happen--while most characters had more emotional or main-plot-related threads to finish off, Capheus had a political election on another continent. However, I think signs do point to it eventually working out, and at least we saw Jela and Zakia by the end.)

My biggest feelings are on the Rajan/Kala/Wolfgang angle and, as y’all may or may not know, I have been shipping this Ot3 from Day One. Why? Because Rajan isn’t just some boring fiance/husband figure but a real human being, his actor is brilliant and incredibly hot, and he clearly cares about Kala, as is evident in every single interaction between the two--but Kala won’t be satisfied without an element of adventure in her life, and for her that element has always been Wolfgang. And I also always wondered how Wolfgang and Rajan would get along. WELL.

I DIDNT ACTUALLY THINK THEY WOULD DO IT THO! I AM SO HAPPY!

Some good moments on this angle:

-Rajan entering the apartment to see first, Lito walking around upset and shirtless, then Sun chopping vegetables with a knife, and then, Capheus being the first one to recognize him (which was really cute actually). And then it’s like oh we gotta get out of here and Kala just shoves a ton of fuckign medical equipment in his arms and oh great, let’s go up on the roof bc apparently we’re running for our lives now. (wait is that a random white guy with a gun? wtf Kala?)

(side note Amanita freaking out over Nomi going ninja was possibly the best moment of this entire finale but there were so many good moments that I digress.)

-Rajan being so understanding once things are explained to him. His first two reactions are, like, “Oh, this is why you were so confused around the time of our wedding, I totally get that now” and then “geez poor sap getting tortured, must help” and then his third reaction is “you’re my wife and I love you, I’m in this with you” and just, Rajan, SUCH A GOOD MAN.

-Then Rajan’s the one to actually get Wolfgang out of the club, which is just a good touch, especially since Wolfgang has mixed feelings about him but certainly recognizes and trusts him.

-”Not many people would have done what you did for me”.

-”My love, you are a killer. (awkward pause.) CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW?” And then Wolfgang just looking at him so fondly and then in Kala’s body casually tossing the gun he’s holding away and showing him how a real gun works.

-Rajan and Wolfgang in the dramatic double Pieta with Kala’s apparently dead body, but then Kala ghost shows up and says, “Hey, y’all drama queens wanna actually, I dunno, save my life?” And she knows how to do it too because she’s a goddamn doctor.

-Finally, obviously, the threesome. It gets obscured by the fact that we’re watching about five or six different couples at once along with approximately seven hundred flashbacks (and I honestly thought it was very artfully done) but I love that the last line of dialogue we get is Rajan, clearly mind blown, saying how he didn’t know things like this could happen. IM HAPPY FOR YOU RAJAN

Seriously I never thought Rajan would get to be as happy and in sync with Kala as he is in this finale. It’s like, maybe most of the tension between them wasn’t inherent incompatibility but secrets and a lack of communication. Which is what I’ve always thought. IM HAPPY.

Hm what else.

Well, Amanita and Nomi are married and that’s obviously great. OH!. Jonas. YEah I had a lot of feelings about the trio of Jonas-Whispers-Will, which has always been an interesting dynamic as well. Not as much Whispers-Will tension in the finale as there was in Season Two, but that’s okay, Season Two satisfied me on this angle, and I loved seeing Daniela take Whispers down when he tried to escape. As for Jonas, I really hate heroic sacrifices of this type--he’s suffered enough and I wanted to see him live--but I’m glad he at least turned out to be a good guy. And this time, Will listened when he told Will he was on Will’s side. Also, Whispers is dead which is a good thing.

I can’t believe the final villain of this movie wasn’t really Whispers but LILA FUCKIGN FACCHINI. Honestly what a villainous babe, I love her and I love to hate her. Still waiting for my Kala/Lila femslash guys. Still waiting.

Detective Mun goes to Paris to maybe reunite with Sun and convince her to come back to Korea and instead gets brought into a spy conspiracy involving telepathy. So he’s clearly living his best life.

Overall I just loved this finale. Usually when I finish a show I’m craving fanfiction but this time I’m actually not. I think Sense8 did an incredible job of satisfying my cravings (even the eclectic OT3 ones!) in its actual canon content. Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna seek the fic out but honestly well fukcing done.

#sense8 #sense8 finale

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cicinicole-14 · 6 years

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14x19–– Beautiful Dreamer [episode review]

can we talk about Grey’s here for a second? I’m gonna review this episode because it’s been a really great episode. I think one of the best we’ve seen in a long time. so lets start off with saying this: I am sorry for how unorganized and choppy this is going to be, I’m apologizing in advance but my brain is going a million miles an hour. ALSO. WARNING::: SPOILERS AHEAD!!! 🚨🚨

first off–– Richard and Ollie

this was so, so sad. this gave me Amelia and Michelle, on PP, parallel feels, how Ollie is much like Amelia’s best friend Michelle and Amelia and Richard both watched their friend die a slow death. I really think and hope this is going to bring Amelia and Richard closer as friends and support systems. this storyline (Richard and Ollie) was very real, heartbreaking and sad. I really liked it even though it was rough.

Arizona

two things here, first; Carina. I just. I don’t like her. it’s half “she’s never going to be callie” and half idk I just don’t like her character. she’s useless and just no. I really don’t like her. and I would really like for her to go back to Italy. like Arizona said, her study there is almost up… also, the comment at the beginning of the ep “I have no kids, thank god” like okay, I get that people don’t always like kids but coming from Arizona, someone who broke up with her girlfriend over children, this just made my heart swell. like carina you don’t say that to the person you’re with if they fucking have kids. thats like almost as close as basic human decency as we get here…and second; Arizona’s idea of the crash cart thing, that was amazing. seriously. “treat every delivery as a trauma” I can’t clap loud enough. this is amazing. I’m so glad she figured something out and she can stop stressing just a little bit. take a breather babes, you’re awesome, you’re a rockstar. [also, another note; I really am dreading JCap leaving and this is sad af, because we only have like what 3 episodes remaining?]

Bello and Deluca

I actually have a lot to say about this and this is where its going to get very unorganized. I love that they’re incorporating real life like this, fucking neurosurgeons in the making, who have been living here their whole lives, facing deportation to a country they don’t know just because of our terrible choice in leaders. I can talk a while about this but I’m not going to. I thoroughly enjoyed Bailey stalling the ICE agent [we will address this later] and how literally the whole hospital was banning together to help Bello out. I genuinely like her and I’m really sad to see her leaving. I loved all the scenarios of running, getting married, Jo telling her how to fake her death with a guy in New York, I actually laughed so hard. like this was so great. this whole storyline. and then when amelia asks Owen to call Megan to help out because her “favorite intern” is going to get deported for rUNNING A FUCKING RED LIGHT. A RED LIGHT PEOPLE. we can’t even put rapists in jail, and you’re exiling an innocent fucking surgeon to a country they spent barely a year in when they were born, because she ran a red fucking light? okay moving on, coco. I loved that amelia said that, it was really cute. and like then Meredith using one of Maggie’s old papers [im assuming] and telling her Sam got accepted in Zurich and is working with Cristina. that was actually so sweet and I can’t. and then poor Andrew. I really loved them as a couple. they are really sweet and I wish we got to know more about their story, but sadly we won’t since Bello left. their goodbye was so adorable and bitter sweet. I hope she comes back one day or Deluca leaves to go be with her, he deserves happiness and an actual storyline like this because Giancomo is kinda getting screwed with Deluca’s character here.

Jaggie…

as @jordan202 said last week, “jaggie is gaggie” and literally, yes. I was really excited to see Maggie ignoring him, because Jackson can be kinda dickish and like he should’ve told her April kissed him. if you want a relationship to work, be honest. and Jackson should’ve told her from the beginning. now to be honest with you, I skipped every jaggie scene, and caught the little bit at the end. I did want to point out, while I do not support Jaggie at all whatsoever, I find it very sweet Maggie showed up and made the speech and stood up for herself about not telling her because she said Jackson didn’t think he could handle it. go Maggie. and then I gagged again and skipped the scene that followed that… gross.

the interns

okay I love love loveeeee seeing Jo be the chief resident [I mean not like there can be any other chief resident because lets see, mousey died, Stephanie left, ben became a firefighter and where the fuck did Leah disappear to?] anyway, I love seeing Jo be the chief res and then bringing the interns around for rounds and no one letting them into rooms for rounds, that was actually quite funny.

Matthew and Ruby

okay, so I feel bad for Arizona because this was her case, but I empathize with Matthew, and he’s hurting and this is a lot. and I’m glad Owen could be put on this case, tho really fucking weird since he worked as a trauma surgeon in the army I didn’t peg him for a peds stand in, but I know this was just a little veer in his path for his storyline [which we will talk about as well] and I’m really grateful for April here. I know that everyone kinda looked weird at her for leering around Matthew and yeah I get it its weird, but her mother’s intuition was calling, and hey, guess what, it was fucking right. I’m really glad she was able to help and the end scene with her and Matthew was really sweet. it was full circle for them and I really enjoyed that.

lets go with the ICE agent next, and Bailey.

so I thoroughly enjoy that Bailey was at first just trying to stall him as long as possible. great tactic. and then her instincts kicked in and she pretty much saved this man’s life. I think that was really cool. and the scene with Maggie telling Bailey that she’d run all the tests, and then Bailey actually being serious about it. this was really nice. Bailey was being sincere to this man, she was serious because this guy, who is trying to take her intern, she could’ve easily just ignored his symptoms. but she didn’t and telling him, jfc that was great. “I swear to god this isn’t a joke” or whatever. bailey’s being serious, might I even say as serious as a heart attack… [okay, okay, I know, terrible joke I am sorry] anyway, this was really sweet that even though she deemed him as the enemy, she stilled helped save his life because its her job, just like, while he hates it, being an ICE agent is his job.

um what’s next? ou, Catherine.

can I start out saying I’ve never liked her? she’s always fucking shady and untrusting. seriously. and first off, do not go blaming your fucking son for this issue with the neurosurgeon lady. this is your fault. your “oh its nothing” thing with harper Avery and this lady. well yeah, we’re gonna think its nothing if you say it like that, of course Jackson won’t think anything of it and try and fucking fix things, there’s a child’s life at stake. if you weren’t such a shady bitch and were honest with Jackson, y’all won’t be getting into this mess, whatever the fuck it may be. ugh I do not like Catherine at all. Richard deserves better.

um, who else… Owen okay Owen.

so, I am still logically confused why Owen was placed on ruby Taylor’s case… like I mentioned before, he’s trauma not peds, but whatever, I guess if a hospital can have a bomb, shooting, 2 plane crashes, a fire and a billion other things happen, I guess a trauma surgeon can double as a peds one for a day. now, onto why. I’m really actually genuinely excited for Owen to take this step into singlehood and hopefully soon-to-be single fatherhood. I’ve been saying this forever, but give the man a child. he’s very similar to Alex in a way, he doesn’t act very decent with other adults, but in front of children, he’s an angel and its what he really needs. I can’t wait to see what comes of this storyline!

KIMMIE!

okay, wow! this breaks my heart. part of me is like “yes! go to NYC, go sing on broadway, explore the world while you still have the chance” and the other half of me just screams “stay strong just a little longer and stay at GSM for Alex and amelia to fix you, because I know they can”. Alex and kimmie’s dynamic is so sweet and their relationship just kinda melts me [and jo, but we will talk about that next!] I really hope this isnt the end of kimmie’s story. I hope she’s not going to just leave. side note: where did Tom go? is he back in New York? did he go back and I forget? anyway, whatever.

last but not least, the best, jolex.

okay, we got literally the sweetest scene I’ve ever fucking seen. I think I like this more than the proposal. actually, this and the 9x24 “I love you” scene are tied for first because ofc, that was my fave but also this one was. Jo telling Alex that she wants kids with him and wants to wedding plan and get married at joe’s bar and soon and ugh I cannot. and then her telling him she wants his last name because “I’ve never had the last name of anyone who’s loved me before” okay get out. bye. I’m dead. spoiler alert: I’ve been typing this from beyond the grave. this scene fucking melted me into a pile of goo. I cannot. bye!

bonus! 14x20 promo!

I AM FUCKING DEAD. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS EPISODE. ABSOLUTELY CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. this looks so goddamn fucking hilarious I literally almost started crying. first of all, Arizona being the innocent lil bean to unknowingly give everyone pot cookies, I’m in tears. then, Alex wearing the fucking whatever that was on his head and “oh yeah, it was so good” pissing myself. also, fuck, was that deluca hugging a bush?!? and Bailey professing her love to Meredith. I can’t I can’t. seriously, I have high expectations for this episode, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

end note: no gifs are mine and I’m sorry for not crediting artists, I just pulled these off google. thank you for letting me borrow your work.

#grey's anatomy #grey's spoilers #omelia #jolex #meredith grey #jo wilson #alex karev #amelia shepherd #owen hunt #april kepner #jackson avery #miranda bailey #all the things

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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years

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Med Rewatch Series (#2)

\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.

-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.

-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!

-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.

-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.

-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.

-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was

-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’

-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon

-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.

-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn

-reese. god i missed you so much.

-they counted again. love that.

-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’

- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.

-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)

-i’m in love with her.

-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.

-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS

-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.

-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)

-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.

-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).

-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.

-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)

-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.

-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???

-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)

-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)

-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.

-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)

-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)

-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?

-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god

-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.

-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.

-waiting for charles to keel over and die like

-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill

-lmao stoll wow

-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.

-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.

-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill

-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)

-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol

-counting

- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn

- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.

-GUYSSS

-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING

-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.

-ITS FUCKING

-oh my god

-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit

-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS

- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT

--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.

-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn

-H E R P O W E R

-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.

- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE

-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)

-deep breaths

-she’s so pretty oh my god

-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.

-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)

-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket

-GOD IM FUCKING GAY

-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.

-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)

-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR

- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.

-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)

-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.

-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???

-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.

-i love her.

-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)

-god jack kelloggs such an asshole

-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves

-there are a lot of things I could complain about.

-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing

-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best

-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.

-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.

-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)

-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.

-oh hey guys! ava’s back!

-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.

-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])

-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)

-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?

-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...

-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.

-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings

-noah’s a sweetie

-oh hey look it’s ava

-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)

-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)

-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)

-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)

-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.

-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])

-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)

-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking

-jack bro stop

-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know

-lmao stoll

-sarah... makes me smile.

-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.

-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.

-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!

-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)

-when is this guy gonna get shot already

-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)

-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)

-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot

-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)

-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)

-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.

-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!

-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.

- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL

-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it

-I------ HOLY SHIT?

-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???

-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???

- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.

-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT

-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.

-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD

-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.

-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.

-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)

- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)

-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care

-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl

-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting

-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS

-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god

-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)

-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM

-sarah and noah stay adorable

-aww stolllll, my heart

-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’

-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!

-charles looks high as balls

-the queen returns. she’s back

-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF

-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right? we all remember that?

-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?

-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”

-...

- I-

-hahahah this is not okay.

-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.

-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.

-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.

-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.

- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.

-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on

Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?

Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.

Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.

The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.

Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.

First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right. His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.

It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.

if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.

Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.

A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.

Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?

I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.

So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?

in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.

This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.

Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.

okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho

next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading

read the next parts:

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#i got exactly one (1) hour of sleep last night holy shit #this was so many bad decisions wrapped in one #chicago med #med rewatch series #ava bekker #mine #love hurts

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suckerforstrangerthings · 7 years

Text

Steve as a boyfriend.

just bc i’m not being fed well enough and i have some hc’s of my own

so yeah

steve as a boyfriend bc it’s been a week since I've finished the whole two seasons of ST for the first time I feel deprived after reading every.single.steve.post.in.existence

and i literally made another account just feed myself haha might as well feed everyone amiright

anywaY STEVE

a full course meal and full time daD WHAT A DAD Y’ALL BETTER BE STANNING DAD OF A MILLION KIDS STEVE HARRINGTON OKAY

but yeah steve as a boyfriend

I'm starting this from the origins ok cool glad we’re on the same page

so basically all this canoodling between you and steve starts in s2 because in s1 he was a teenager and worry free before he began to bald and stress over god knows how many kids he ended up with bc two were missing and he mainly handled four??? I'm still lost at this point

but yeAH

you wear stripes turtle necks with bomber jackets and you slay them tbh

you're a newb like billy

that story arc comes in later in the post jusT GIMME A SEC

but yeah

I'm making you dustINS SISTER BC DAMN imagine my tiny badass dustin knockING SOME SENSE INTO HARRINGTON LIEK ‘DUDE THATS MY SISTER’

i imagine you being present and dustin gets all in your and steve’s face but steve, being the dad but still teenager that he is, places his whole hand on his son’s face and pushes him to the side as if he wasn't even there

but yeaH YOU CAME FROM OUT OF TOWN BC THE MAGIC OF NETFLIX AMIRIGHt thEY EVEN MAKE THE DEAD ONES COME BACK ALIVE

IM LOOKING AT YOU WILLY WILL

anywAY YOURE LIKE THE FEMALE VERSION OF STEVE OK

y’all have a great sense of hair I'm jealous from imagining it

a couple that slays hair together, stays togethER.

you’ve come across steve a ton of times in the high school, some times were spent on him trying to get your attention bc you really didn't give a shit about anyone??? it was friendLY ATTENTION THO BC NANCYYYYYYYYYY.

and steve was a curious bean and you were a mysterious bean and y’all know the saying; curiosity killed the steve.

but satisfaction brought steve back.

heads up, bonus points for confusion bc steve calls you ‘henderson’ like, your first name?? steve doesnt know her mhm.

and since names are generic as shit steve didn't really click into the fact that you were dustiNS SISTER

boi sees you power walking behind dustin when he goes to the wheelers’ house w flowers

the scene goes like this

“HENDERSON?!”

“HARRINGTON?!”

bc im lazy imagine that going on for a good two minutes until steve questions if you and dustin are siblings

“son of a bitch, steVE, WE’RE BOTH HENDERSON, SEEING AS YOU JUST WASTED MY TIME BY SAYING IT ON FUCKING REPEAT LIKE WE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW”

i imagine that to come out of dustins mouth

dustin and steve were one of the best things to come out of strangER THINGS CAN S3 JUST COME OUT NOW PLS ITS BEEN A WEEK BUT IT FEELS LIKE 87 YEARS

you end up following dustin into steves car bc never in a million years would you trust steve harrington w your baby brother.

you take that back when you realise he's actually a damn good babysitter

speaking of babysitters

you didn't think you'd become the mom to steves parental pairing

you didn't think you'd be a mom at all, not until literally you'd be birthing one out

looks like theres a loophole for everything bc you and steve end up doing a lot of domestic shit together when you acc date and imma leave that for towards the end

so yeah you end up getting intertwined with the demo dogs showdown; steve w his bat and you with dustins hockey stick

lucas calls y’all the power couple

you become max’s role model

“that was so badass”

when y’all are back at the byers’, you and steve end up tag teaming to handle the bull that is billy hargrove (loVE DACRE OK)

steve ends up getting beat up as shit and billy uses that spare time to manipulate you. mANIPULATION IS NOT OKAY!!

he has your cheeks squishing between his hand and you up against the wall until dustin tries to intervene bc sisTER.

steve gets up again and pushes dustiN OUTTA THE WAY BC NO ONE HOLDS YOU AGAINST THE WALL THAT IS NOT COOL!!

steve ends up beat up again and max gotta out the syringe bC billy be loco.

you comply with max being the driver to the demogorgon hole thingy bc you stay at the back with steves head lying on your stomach as you press compromised ice packs of peas and whatnot on his face

dustin swore he saw tears in your eyes

you whisper gratefulness bc time spent with steve was fuckign crazy but he actually got himself beat up for you

and no onES DONE THAT BEFORE

steve is special, no one deserves hiM.

ma boi better be loved and appreciated in s3 or I'm throwing hands

when steve is alive again, just in time for the demo dog field trip!!, he ends up being your trip buddy i cackle its adoraBLE

keeps an arm across your front as a proteCTIVE GESTURE I AWE

when all the shit w the demo dogs is over, you show your overprotective side and ask if it hurts too much in some places on his face

“nothing a kiss wouldn't fix”

“shut uP hARRINGTON!”

“dudE THATS MY SISTER”

“may i kiss you miss henderson just for the pleasure of us both and the disgust of your little brother?”

“you may, harrington”

lmao that kiss ends up in an exaggerated make out session just to make it burn

it fails bc bruises on steves face

it hurts a lot

it was a bad idea

you simply press your lips to every part that hurt, making sure to be gentle

bc y’all are a thing, you two become chaperones for the snowbaLL!!

*COUGH* nancy missed ouT *cough*

you start to like her tho bc she danced w dustin and he smiled so iTS COOL.

yknow how time after time and every breath you take came on in the bg for the sweet kids and they slow danced and shit??

haha september by earth, wind & fire comes on.

sure, its a bit slow dancey but you and steve do that move where peace signs move past your eyes I FORGOT WHAT ITS CALLED

y’all do a lil shimmy too i cackEL

the kids look on in horror bc y’all are basically the equivalent of grandparents grinding in the 21st century yikES

SPEAKING OF GRANDPARENTS

When the kids get to high school, you and steve carpool the kids every morning when its chilly and freezing and shit

you and steve have timetables for when the kids will have AV and shit

so you guys still wait for them outside the school

probably read some magazines on how to be a parent of 6 when eleven joins the harrington family.

parenting fails; all six kids somehow being able to be squeezed in the back of steves car

steve’s thoughts: a+ parentinG

you and steve give joyce and hopper a run for their money

speaking of my second ship, the four of you have saturday coffee mornings together at the byers�� to talk about your kids

jonathon would just think ‘wtf’????

steve would let you borrow his faberge all the time

sometimes he'd even do your hair for you

and he turns out to be pretty damn good at that too.

when you’d have a night w/o the kids, he’d take you to the movies and would pull that slick, nonchalant arm-over-shoulder move

you just snuggle more into his side

the kids are acc a few rows behind you

steve knows and so do you

y’all don't mind bc dustin eventually moves forward to take the bucket of popcorn off your hands

thats all i got for now and i hope you're as fed as me!!

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagines #stranger things #head canon #steve harrington headcanons #stranger things 2 #stranger things imagines #stranger things headcanons #dad steve

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kaedekayano · 8 years

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001; Kanzaki and Kayano. 002: Gakushuu Asano

oh boy i’m abt to get so excited and emotional fuck adkaldjahdhdjsd

kanzaki/kayano

when I started shipping it if I did: i don’t remember tbh. i always lowkey shipped it haha, but i don’t think i really realised it until @wassailtofivehundred was like !! yukikae !! and also i saw cute fanart and i rewatched a couple episodes (kyoto trip ehh) and i was like, fuck i really ship this. also a lot of it was b/c around december (the time i published be your own hero) i started liking kayano a lot more and then that made me salty bc nagisa/kayano was so poorly written and an injustice to her character. she deserved a person who she had actual chemistry with, and i think kanzaki is definitely that person (or one of them).

my thoughts: pure!! good!! beautiful and amazing!! i love it!! so much!! i’m working on a v v long yukikae kayano-POV fic right now and i’m excited to show it to y’all b/c i have trouble expressing how much/why i love characters/ships until i have a fic to support it, haha. but anyway i think kanzaki is really good for kayano b/c she’s so understanding and caring, and kayano is good for kanzaki because — look they just care so much abt each other okay they’re so Good.

What makes me happy about them: so good. so pure. so beautiful. they’re just healthy for each other and i love the idea of kayano’s best friend supporting her through all the shit she’s gone through because fuck, man, kayano’s mom and sister are dead, the only “friends” she had, she built her friendship on a lie, the teacher she tried to kill and then turned out not to be guilty is dead anyway (bye bye, purpose that kept her going for a year despite all her issues), the person she was for a year was a lie but — not all of it, okay, deep down kaede kayano/akari yukimura is still a good caring person and kanzaki knows it even if she did lie and the two of them supporting each other and I just — yeah

What makes me sad about them: i’m always full of salt about kayano so :/ i don’t like it when people don’t acknowledge the kayano arc happened/kayano’s real personality is very different from the one she pretended to be/she lied to the class for a year? yeah matsui just decided to forget about it and sideline her because he’s a shit writer and what the fuck is continuity, but that doesn’t mean you should follow his example. so it’d be great to see those issues acknowledged!! give me kanzaki understanding kayano did fucked-up things and is a messy person who was not the kind, cheerful, sweet girl she pretended to be and loving her anyway!! (acknowledge and justify the kayano arc for why it happened without throwing logic out the window, and i’ll personally send you a thank-you card)

things done in fanfic that annoys me: there are two fics on ao3 for yukikae, lol (i’m planning to remedy this because inexcusable!!). one is kayano third wheeling karmagisa w/ like 5 lines of actual yukikae (no offense to the author, the fic is fine, it’s just Not Yukikae). the other is green’s fic and admittedly there isn’t a lot of overtly romantic yukikae but it’s a really good fic and there’s good worldbuilding and concepts and y’all should read it

things I look for in fanfic: having it exist. that’s what i’m looking for. that being said, see above rant, because while there aren’t many fics about kanzaki (beautiful daughter pls love her more), there is plenty of fic about kayano and it is almost never accurate. it makes me sad. accurate, well-done characterization is what i Live for

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: both of them, okuda. as previously mentioned, kanzaki, maybe yada? for kaede, rio, also yada, maybe kataoka (it’s mentioned kayano admires her and i don’t think that was a lie, akari seems like the type of girl who recognises and respects strength and competence in people). um. the 3-E girls are all good in general haha, the only person i can think of off the top of my head i’d say no to is okano with kanzaki because okano dislikes her and kanzaki is uncomfortable with that, so. :/ although seeing them work past it (and okano getting past her own insecurities regarding her femininity) would be cool, so even then, i can’t say Absolutely Never. just not nagisa/kayano pls

My happily ever after for them: sometime in their mid/late-20s, they move into an apartment together and own lots of books and cute stationery and various trinkets. also a cat. maybe other pets, like a hamster or a dog. kayano is a successful actress all over again but keeps her relationship with kanzaki not secret but lowkey. kanzaki is away from her parents and likes her job and reads a lot of books. their friends come visit them pretty frequently and the neighbors think they’re adorable. they’re happy.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: omg fuck i suck at this kind of thing. i think kayano would be the big spoon and kanzaki the little spoon but i don’t think they’d mind switching

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: um theyre fond of reading and decorating things (apartment they move into together) and baking and taking walks together. probably taking walks with the dog tbh. that was like 4 i dont know sorry im still in the developing stages of headcanons for these two ive only been highkey invested in this ship for like a month and a half okay

gakushuu asano

How I feel about this character: today i started thinking about him completely out of the blue, with no prompting, and then i sat down and wrote 4 pages in my notebook about an AU where ikeda doesn’t die and gakuhou remains a good dad. last sentence is “in another world, gakushuu asano is healthy and happy and okay.” this is pretty much how i am all day every day i love this child so much he’s just. i see a lot of myself in him (hes relatable okay) and he’s so amazing and brilliant and full of curiosity and potential and i!!! love!!! him!!!! i want him to be happy so much!!! i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

All the people I ship romantically with this character: karma (obviously haha), um. fuck. im really fond of renshuu (like really fond) but i usually ship it as ren having a one-sided crush on gakushuu that eventually concludes in ren realising shuu’s crushing unattainability (also i hc gakushuu as ace arospec and he’s kinda ehhh abt romance in general. projecting? me? yeah) and dealing with it and they become really really good best friends even tho it makes ren’s heart hurt a lil bit but mostly its okay. fuck i had a fic abt this i started months ago that i never finished i gotta do that but yeah i envision the virtuosos’ dynamic as being very very complicated in general. oh yeah i cant believe i said i ship karma/gakushuu only once in this post so far so anyway i ship karushuu i love karushuu karushuu is love karushuu is life

My non-romantic OTP for this character: the virtuosos of course its not like i wrote like 1k+ of meta on this hahahaha also gakushuu/isogai, gakushuu/kataoka (why cant we see his respect for her acknowledged as well i know isogai gets his own ep and all but kataoka is still important and is also a class rep :/), gakushuu/nagisa a little bit (i used to be super into it and i still kinda like it), i actually really like the idea of platonic!karushuu because those two are cute boyfriends but working their way from enemies to rivals with grudging respect for each other to best friends?? it’s good

My unpopular opinion about this character: he and karma are not the same person or quite frankly anywhere close to it. there’s lots of parallels they’re good narrative foils but seeing people act like gakushuu is just a recoloured karma makes me sad. pls no my son is so complex and wonderful and different pls pls understand this he’s not just karma akabane with orange hair he’s his own character and such a good one

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: he goes to MIT and is separated from his father’s awful awful toxic influence and lives a happy brilliant successful life and is emotionally okay. i mean it’s not non-canon hahaha but seeing it onscreen would’ve been cool. we can assume that happens anyway tho b/c it’s gakushuu. uhh seeing him interact with his mom onscreen (or like, seeing his mom at all) would’ve been really cool!!! for who i imagine his mom as, i pretty much just think of @cosmicyue‘s hideko asano headcanon :)

my OTP: karushuu obviously. ohh man i love these two nerds so fucking much okay. they hate each other so so much but they also have this respect for each other alright if i start talking about why i ship karushuu (something ive actually never done on this blog bc i dont want people to think im trying to push karushuu on everyone ajdkakdkajsh; theres hardly a shortage of karushuu shippers around) then im gonna b here all day and this is already really long. ill shut up

my cross over ship: none i dont rlly think about AC in relation to other fandoms tbh

a headcanon fact: i have so many. fuck. um one of my favorites (ive mentioned it before but) is that the asanos are both fluent in 3+ languages and they talk shit about people they look down on in those languages when they’re around those people, just to make people uncomfortable.

send me a ship, a character, or five characters

#gakushuu #ac #ask #yukikae #anonymous #also if my complaining abt nagikae bothers anyone (which i totally understand dw) let me know and i'll tag it :)

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nancydfan · 3 years

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I feel like the lies Mia and Chris told Ethan are on completely different levels because they affected Ethan very differently which makes forgiving one person easier than the other. Like with Mia in RE7, as we’ve stated before we don’t know her reasoning for joining and staying with The Connections. But no matter what honestly Mia payed for being in that organization and lying to Ethan. She was in hell for 3. Whole. Years. at the Baker house. Chances are it would’ve been for eternity and tbh Mia seemed to accept that punishment for herself. Like she already suffered for her lies so I mean I think we can forgive her on that. While yes she did play a part in Eveline (idk if it was just escorting her or if she was more directly involved), but it was her companion’s fault (I think his name was Adam?? Idk) for letting Eveline escape. And when Mia confirms this during her flashback and she sounds angry at Adam for doing so. So while yes she played a small part in what happened to the Bakers the blame rests more on Adam since he let her escape. And Ethan’s involvement wasn’t her fault, it was Eveline who brought her there. At the end of the day Mia payed for her involvement and seems sorry for her actions, and for me personally I find it easier to forgive someone when they regret what they’ve done and try to make it right. That’s why I forgive Mia for lying to Ethan the first time. And in RE8 I forgive Mia for lying again because like honestly that must have been hard to realize your husband was infected. And how was she to know that Ethan would have remained fine after she told him?? Like we’ve said Ethan is the first of his kind and Mia probably thought the key to him staying himself was his ignorance. And yes I agree Mia should have told him, but I understand completely why she felt she had to keep it a secret. While yes Ethan probably would have been frustrated that Mia kept something from him again he would have quickly empathized with her and forgiven her. And I forgive her too because dang I am not jealous of being in her shoes when she found out about Ethan.

Chris’ case is completely different. He belittles Ethan the whole game and makes it seem ridiculous that Ethan would want to be involved in getting Rose back even though that’s his family out there?? And they’re literally in this situation because of Chris’ actions at the beginning of the game?? For me Chris felt more egotistic and hubristic because like you said he just doubles down on his actions even though they were clearly wrong. After Chris “killed” Miranda at the beginning he should have given Ethan a quick explanation, even if it was just “that’s not your wife and we need to get rose and you out of here because you’re in danger.” Would Ethan have believed it? Maybe, who knows. But Chris didn’t. He made Ethan think his wife was dead and that Chris and his team were against Ethan when in reality they were all on the same team and should have been working together. The only time Chris is apologetic is when Ethan dies and honestly it should not have taken Ethan’s death to snap Chris out of his mindset that he was right. We don’t even see Chris apologize to Ethan or Mia. And I remember people got mad at Mia for freaking out at Chris when he rescues her and I’m just like?? Imagine being held captive for who knows how long and suddenly the man who promised to keep your family safe is like “hey your husband’s dead and your kid’s gone :(“ like?? Anyone would freak out and be upset? Am I saying that she was right to yell at him no (though I probably would have too lol) but like she’s been through hell again excuse her for having her nerves be a little fried. I also saw someone else say “Chris wasn’t the one who cut Ethan’s daughter up and tried to kill him on multiple accounts throughout the game he was just trying to help!!” And it’s like?? Yes he was trying to help but in the worst way possible?? It’s like saying “no offense” and then saying something hurtful. Just because you said “no offense” doesn’t make it any less offense and just because Chris was trying to help doesn’t excuse his actions. Chris’ lie put Ethan in emotional/mental distress because he thought he just saw his wife brutally murdered AND put him in physical distress since it was his call to escort Ethan and Rose which allowed them to fall into the hands of Miranda.

I kind of put Chris’ and Mia’s behavior as “Capcom wrote them shitty because they wanted to do a whole “Mia’s alive” plot twist and wanted to make the game ✨spicy✨by making it seem Chris was the bad guy”. But whenever I say that people are still like “No Chris did nothing wrong!!” Or “Well you forgive Mia so obviously you’re a hypocrite” and you know I feel like you can’t even compare Mia’s actions to Chris’ because like I said Chris’ actions hurt and put Ethan’s life more in danger than Mia’s did. Yes I can see how Mia’s lie in RE7 put his life in danger but her keeping Ethan’s condition from him in RE8 did not risk his life. And I already said it wasn’t Mia who forced Ethan to come it was Eveline. Plus people forget it was ETHAN’S choice to enter the house. He could have called the police but he didn’t because he loved Mia so much he himself wanted to make sure she was okay. Sorry for getting ranty im just tired of people saying we’re hypocrites when they don’t see they’re doing the same thing themselves.

Thanks for being patient with me! I love getting asks from y’all even tho I’m a little slow sometimes. Aha 😆

I def agree with the differences. Ive been replaying RE7 while I just watched my friend play re8 so the two games are fairly fresh in my mind. Ethan walks into RE7 on his terms and in re8 he’s essentially kidnapped. That’s such a great point and I really hadn’t thought of it. He’s brought into hell differently and I think that is important to recognize.

Mia tried to keep Ethan away from Dulvey and it failed. She didn’t have time to explain and her msg never got through anyway. It wouldn’t have happened if Alan hadn’t messed up with eveline. And Mia absolutely paid severely for it for three years. She killed a person and harmed her husband with scars he’ll always carry. We don’t even know what she suffered with but it was three long years. She’s terrified when Ethan finds her so I’m sure the imagination can cover that further. I’m sure it was hell.

And like you mentioned, it’s Eveline that invites Ethan there, not Mia. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t indirectly have something to do with this. But when shit hits the fan, she owns it which means a lot to me.

I’ve said somewhere months ago I don’t care if Mias motivations were bad when she joined the connections. We’ll probably never know. But we do know Mia’s motivations with Ethan perfectly. The minute her job is gonna impact him (when eveline takes over on the boat) she levelsets. She’s honest w Ethan as much as she can be and then as much as he wants after re7. The whole mold thing just doesn’t count. Y’all really what do we expect her to say lol

As for Chris, watching his scenes again today I’m just so frustrated. I agree Capcom wanted him to be this way to draw out the Miranda Mia reveal and it was a baaaaaad decision on Cspcoms part. Especially when Chris tells him to stay away after Ethan’s taken out a couple bosses already and some minor ones. If they didn’t want the reveal till later, then don’t have Ethan and Chris talk because the first thing Chris tells him was something about being surprised he survived this long shame if you would die. And it’s like no???? This isn’t what we need to be saying rn. Ethan is a rage machine thinking you killed his wife. Maybe just be honest. Chris mentions he saw the evidence of Ethan being there so clearly the man’s doing just fine. And it’s not just my thoughts on this. The game makes it a point to highlight Chris’ mistake. I don’t know why Capcom went this route and I personally don’t like it. But it’s canonically true.

And yeah I don’t think anyone is accusing Chris of actually killing Ethan. We know he didn’t. He just didn’t help. Chris did more in re7. Its like Capcom wanted him in there and didn’t actually know what to do w him. His part was so small I couldn’t believe it was already over. Honestly the last 30 minutes of this game hurts my brain lol

I saw the Mia push Chris thing briefly cause a friend sent it to me and they had some questions about it. But I didn’t spend too long on it cause I guess I just didn’t care what was being said. I figure I didn’t like that Chris slammed his fist at the end in front of Mia when she’s the one who just lost a husband so we’re even.

You’re welcome to rant to me anytime. I hope I captured most of your ask because you made outstanding points and I really agree. Ultimately, it comes down to perspectives here and what people find more severe. One of my best friends doesn’t like Mia and she only saves her cause I’m watching. And I love her w my whole heart. I don’t think it requires defensiveness. We all intake media differently and it’s okay to have flawed characters.

#thanks for the ask nonnie!!#resident evil 8 #resident evil #Mia winters #Chris redfield critical #mrs joe speaks #long post

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therealbrittanychiz · 6 years

Text

8.27.18

Welp I think it’s safe to say I suck at updating this thing. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently though and I have sooo much that’s happened over the last year.

2017. It was the best and worst year of my life. If you read my last post I mentioned going to London and meeting Jenny for the first time! Well that was amazing. We had so much fun. I was really worried we wouldn’t get along or Denee would get along with her more than me but everything worked out fine! There were a few times were I apparently annoyed Denee and a couple times where she annoyed me so that rocked our friendship a little bit. Of course we’re still bffs and that’ll never change. But now we know to never travel with each other again xD Anyway! When we arrived I was so tried and we were running on 3 hours of sleep over the course of two days. Our flight had a layover in Iceland but it wasn’t too bad. We got lucky and landed the door window seat so there was lots of foot room! When we arrived we met up with Jenny and her dad. I literally had butterflies the entire time even after meeting her. I constantly had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming! It was just so surreal I was finally with her. So we got to her house and just talked and rested up since the next day we had to catch the train to Paris!

Paris was incredible. It wasn’t too hot or rainy at all. I just wish I wasn’t totally exhausted and cranky (hangry)! So of course we needed food so we walked from our hotel to the Eiffel Tower just to look around. We finally found a place and I just got a sandwich so I was happy to just be eating. I was still tired so I was trying my best not to put Denee or Jenny in a bad mood either. I just stayed quiet and ate my food.

Afterwards we headed back and rested up. We went back out to see the tower at night and looked for a place to eat dinner and grabbed some snacks. The next day I felt much better after getting well needed sleep. I was also super excited for Disneyland! We didn’t really ride any rides since none of us were really ride people so we wandered around and shopped and had lunch. Then I saw they were having a meet n greet for princess aurora so Jenny waited an hour and a half with me so I could meet her! It wasn’t too bad. Denee went off on her own and apparently she met Captain Hook and had a sword fight with him xD so she kept occupied. On our way back to meet Denee we ran into the queen of hearts and tweedle dew and tweedle dum. They were fun! After that we grabbed slushies and we realized we had to be back to meet our bus to get back to our hotel. By then we were exhausted from walking so naturally I was the slowest and I was way far behind them but I made it eventually. We even waited like 20 mins for our bus to even get there! Still it was a fun day. We got back to our hotel and just hung out.

The next day was our Eiffel Tower day! We grabbed breakfast and headed out. The walk was actually much further than we anticipated. Still, we went all the way up to the top and it was so much fun! (More on this later). Then we did some shopping and wandered around and got some food.

Our final day in Paris was the louvre! It was incredible. It was so big and we didn’t even walk all of it. We maybe did half and by then it was almost time to leave. There was just so much to look at and we spent most of it trying to find the Mona Lisa! We found it though. It’s a lot smaller in person and the room was crazy crowded. It was still really neat. We then left and headed back to our hotel. That night we went to the arc de triumphe to see it all lit up. We took a few pics and went back.

We left Paris and headed back to Jenny’s house and I was sooo glad to be “home”. So we hung out for a while and got some sleep. The next day we headed off to London! We got a flat pretty close to everything so that was nice. Our first day we did the London eye and did a boat tour on the river of Thames. We went back to our flat after that and relaxed a bit.

The next day we had afternoon tea and got to see some more sites so that was a lot of fun! We also did the queens jewels tour and walked around the castles.

Then we went up to the actual palace to see the changing of the guards so that was really cool to see. When we got back to our flat we went to go check out the shard but we hadn’t booked tickets to go inside though it was still cool to look at.

Denee went back to our flat but Jenny and I walked around the little garden park and sat on a bench for a while and just talked. We headed back and grabbed dinner. It was our last day in London as well so we had to go back to Jenny’s the next day.

At this point in our trip it’s been almost two weeks. When we arrived back the next morning we just hung out and tried to rest. The day after that we headed to Harry Potter studios! It was so much fun and I think the place where I spent the most money xD

The next day we went to a little beach town with a lot of arcades and shops and places to eat. We got legit fish n chips and ate by the water. We also played some arcade games and did some shopping but Jenny got the times messed up and we had to catch our train. We just barely made it bc I was in line to buy something but I had to put it back since our train was literally leaving within that minute so luckily we made it on!

The day after that was mostly a rest day. We had a concert and horse races to go to that evening. It was a lot of fun! We saw a British group called little mix who I listen to all the time now :p we placed some bets and of course won nothing but it was still a great night! Our final day was resting and packing. It was a bittersweet moment but we didn’t cry xP

We finally made it back home after a long 11 hour flight with another layover in Iceland. I was so happy to be home as much fun as I had. I missed my bed and my dog! Poor Jenny tho was so sick after our trip but she finally texted me after a few days saying how much fun she had.

So yeah that was my trip to Europe! And I totally plan on going back in 2019. We shall see!

Now onto the bad stuff. Remember in my last blog where I said we were having a cookout with my uncle and Mommom? Well that never happened. I was in the middle of a game day with my friends like I had previously said. Then I got the second worst call of my life. My Mommom has been in a car accident and they were trying to revive her. I was still hopeful she’d be okay. Then I got the first worst call of my life. I screamed and cried when my mom called with the bad news. Not to mention I was in front of my friends and one of Juan’s friends whom I’d just met that day. Mary ended up taking me home and she stayed with me until my parents got there.

Mary went home and we went to the hospital where she had died. It was so hard seeing everyone so sad. Definitely one of the worst days of my life. It was so horrible and I couldn’t believe it was happening. I just wish she had been alive long enough to see and hear about my Europe trip which she was excited for me to go. However...

Back to the Eiffel Tower! I was connecting to their WiFi when all of a sudden the WiFi name “Linda” popped up! I was just in awe and I took a screen shot to send to my mom. So it was if she really was with me in a weird way. (Maybe telling me to get off my phone and enjoy the view!)

I still feel her around me sometimes and I dream about her constantly.

So now onto August 2017! My friend Crystal was getting married. It was an okay wedding. I was not a bridesmaid as she wanted a small ceremony but me and my friend Amanda spent the night with her at the hotel so that was fun. Like I said it was an okay day. I was so tired when I got home tho!

Annnd now onto October!! Mary and Juan’s wedding was SO MUCH FUN. Denee and I were her maids of honor so we made a speech and everything. I was so nervous I dropped my phone with some notes from my speech so I could remember it. It was fine tho! Ofc we danced and ate and it was an all around good day.

Other than that the rest of the year was pretty chill. We went to downtown Annapolis for fireworks on nye so that was fun.

Annnnd now it’s 2018.

Im writing because I’m having surgery next week and I’m really nervous about it. I say it’s no big deal but on the inside I’m like freaking out. I always got the feeling I would die at a young age so maybe this is it. I have no idea. Maybe I’m just looking too much into this and everything will be fine. Who knows! I hope I’ll live through it xD

Lately I’ve been feeling a higher presence of my Mommom and I even had a dream about her today while I was napping. It was weird, she told me not to have sex with Ryan. Which i say is weird because we had a convo about it the other day. It was a really deep and meaningful convo and we usually don’t talk about stuff like that since we aren’t together yet. So who knows. Maybe she was just warning me but I doubt it’ll happen?

Anyway, Mom, if you’re reading this now you know the real me. I’m sorry I’ve been hiding this for so long. But I wanted you to see the other side of me. I hope you’re not reading this because that means you’ve found the sticky note on the side of my night stand. It means I’m dead, basically.

I want you to know I’ve always had a deep connection with my power of empathy and you might think that’s weird and I’m more strange than you thought. This is who i am. When I was younger I used to think I was psychic but now I know its empathy.

If you’re still reading know that I love you and dad and Hannah. Even though we didn’t always get along we had the typical mom and daughter fights probably more than normal but we always ended things on a good note.

Let the rest of my family know that I love them all and I’ll be watching over everyone and haunting y’alls asses so be prepared 😈

Tell my best friends (Mary, Denee, Juan, Michael and Andrew) that they are amazing and wonderful and thank them for being my truly awesome friends.

Especially to Mary and Denee. Mary, mostly for putting up with me for 21+ years. And Denee for 16+ years. I’m sorry for leaving you guys and I’ll be haunting you tooo ;)

Also tell Patti thanks for everything. She was my work mom and I’ll always love her too. I’m glad we became friends even if we didn’t get along at first! Bethany too, thanks for being my best work friend!

And tell Jenny what happened. Tell her I’m sorry for not being able to do the cruise with her and even just visiting her next year. Because I really wanted to. Tell her I love her (In the friend way, I’m not gay, I promise) she just has to know I loved her.

I suppose that’s it. If I really do die, I don’t really have any special requests. Do what you think I would’ve wanted. Take what I have in my account (you know it’s not much) and pay off my bills and then use it to divide between the three of you.

Okay now I’m done. Sorry this was such an emotional post and I really really hope I make it to see September 6th.

Later for now!

~ Brittany

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