#I know why i do the insufferable things I do but I CAN'T stoo doing them

[star-mum]

The negative side of being a psychology student is become better and better at recognizing behavioral patters... which includes your own

[moistmailman]

House Wife AU part 2

*Cinder, Pyrrha, and one of their kids are sleeping peacefully in bed*

Cinder, with her arms around Pyrrha’s waist as they sleep peacefully: Zzzzzzzzzzz

*Suddenly Cinder’s scroll goes off*

Cinder, drowsily waking: Huh? What the? *quietly groans* Who in the hell is calling me at this hour?

*Cinder carefully and quietly grabs her scroll*

Cinder, answering her scroll: *whispering* Hello?

Roman, slurring out: CINDER, YOU PIC- *hiccup* PICKED UP! I K-KNEW YOU WOULD! E-EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT YOU WOULD IGNORE ME! I K-KNEW YOU CARED!

Cinder, groaning quietly: What the hell do you want, Roman?

Roman: Get your a-ass down to the b-bar! Drinks are on m-me!

Cinder: For god sake, are you drunk?

Roman: Hell yeah Im drunk! W-we just successful robbed a bank! We’re *hiccup* rich! Everyone is celebrating at the bar! Come join us!

Cinder, hoarsely whispering: Hey! Are you fucking insane? Don’t just announce that to the world, idiot! Are you trying to go to jail!?

Roman: Pfft, you’re a-always serious! Loosen up and have some fun a little! Besides, this bar is nearly e-empty and everyone here are completely- *hiccup* drunk because I ORDERED EVERYONE SHOTS! WOOOOO!

*loud cheers are heard in the background*

Roman: So relax and join u-us! E-everyone is d-drinking on me tonight.

Cinder: No. Leave me alone.

Roman, whining: What!? Noooooo! Come on! This is an e-exciting moment for all of us! Stop b-being so booooo- *belch* -ooooring!

Cinder, grimacing: Oh god. You’re so disgusting.

Roman: *Blows a raspberry in to the scroll*

Cinder, sighing: What has my life become?

Roman: Hey! Why are you whispering?! Are you hiding or something?

Cinder, through gritted teeth: No, believe it or not but I was actually sleeping this late at night, and my wife and kid are with me at the moment.

Roman: Whaaaaat? Really?

Cinder: Yes, I know. It’s quite shocking that someone was sleeping at- *looks at alarm clock* 2 in the morning. Your primitive brain just can’t put two and two together.

Roman: No no no no. Not that! I just sometimes forget you have a wife and kids. I just can’t believe *hiccup* it. *giggles* I can’t wrap m-my head around it.

Cinder: And I honestly can’t believe that drunk you is somehow more insufferable than regular you.

Roman: Don’t be like t-that! You’re so mean! Come on! Just a f-few drinks with us and that’s it! P-promise!

Cinder: How many people are with you?!

Roman: A bunch of drunk strangers, and the gang’s too! We’re all celebrating! Mercury i-is dancing on one of the stoo- *CRASH* Mercury fell off one of the stools. Emerald is *hiccup* singing k-karaoke on the stage, And Neo is- *gasps* OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT, Cinder I swear to god, Neo spoke to me while drunk. I’m n-not bullshitting you! She a-actually spoke!

Cinder, unimpressed: Cool, are you done?

Roman: Why aren’t you happy!? We’re rich! Y-you should be d-down here *burp* having a fun time with us! What’s y-your deal?

Cinder: This might be difficult to comprehend, but I’m an adult that has things to do tomorrow. Something you probably can't relate too.

Roman: Oh yeah, What is so important that you can't p-party with us tonight? Huh? You got taxes to do, miss responsible?

Cinder: Do.....d-do you not do your taxes?

Roman: I asked a question first!

Cinder, sighing: If you must know, Pyrrha and I are throwing our son a birthday party. Achille's turning 5.

Roman: Wait, you're throwing a birthday party?

Cinder: Yes.

Roman:.......you know, if you don't want to party with us then just tell us. Y-you don't need to make up e-excuses.

Cinder, actually offended: What the hell is that supposed to mean!?

Roman: You hate birthdays. You refuse to t-tell me when your birthday i-is because you don't want me to throw y-you a surprise p-party. Who the h-hell does that b-by the w-way?

Cinder: I don't like birthdays because my parents were dicks and could never remember my birthday ever and would just ignores me until child services came! I'm not going to force that my belief on my son though! I'm trying to give him a better life than I had! Something that every parent thrive for their kids!

Roman: Oh really? You, doing something nice and sweet for someone else? Now I know you're fuckin lying. What’s next are you g-going to tell me? *hiccup* You’re cuddling with your wife?

Cinder: I swear to god I’ll fucking-

Achilles: *Slightly stirs in his sleep while pouting*

Cinder, soothingly caressing her son's head: Shh, it's alright. Mama's sorry. Go back to sleep, sweetie.

Achilles: *Stirs a little bit more before going back to sleep*

Cinder, angrily whispering: I swear to Christ, Roman. If you make me wake my son up, and he starts crying, Ill shove my foot so far up your ass, that my heels will be kicking the back of your teeth!

Roman, unfazed: Grrr, angry mama bear.

Cinder, pulling her scroll away: *hysterical* Oh my God. I'm going to kill this guy. I’m actually going to kill him.

Roman, distant: CINDER? CINDER ARE YOU STILL THERE? CINDER!?........

Cinder, eye twitching:...........

Roman, distant: CIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNDER!

Cinder, back on the scroll: I swear to god if you don’t leave me the hell alone then I’m going to bury you in a shallow grave alive while- Huh, babe?

*Pyrrha drowsily rolls over in bed and grabs the phone before hanging up on Roman and tossing it to the side*

Roman, on the now dead line: Cinder?......Cinder hello?

*meanwhile*

Cinder:............

Pyrrha, drowsily smiling: You need to learn that hanging up on someone is easier than yelling at them on the scroll. *Kisses Cinder's lips before cuddling back into her son* It’ll save you some stress.

Cinder:.....you know Roman is probably whining right now, right?

Pyrrha: I’m okay with that.

Cinder, wrapping her arms around Pyrrha’s waist:.......I love you so much.

Pyrrha, scooting back against her wife's chest: *Yawns* Love you too.