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#I know this won't happen but it makes me feel better
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MISS YOU — rafe cameron (smut, angst, nsfw)
pairing; ex-boyfriend!rafe cameron x fem!reader summary: years after your breakup, rafe cameron crawls back into your life when he realises that you might have started moving on. a/n: omg this was so long i think i got carried away warnings: smut 18+, a LOT of angst, mdni, fingering, oral (f receiving), name calling, unprotected sex.
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He does not knock.
Rafe Cameron barges into your dimly lit apartment instead of knocking the door and allowing you to let him in. He walks right past you, ignoring the frown on your face, and collapses down on your couch.
His shoulders are relaxed, arms stretched out along the back of the couch as he settles in and looks around your apartment.
His blue eyes are dart everywhere, but they don’t meet yours. His veiny hands are tapping away on his thighs—the same hands that used to envelope yours perfectly.
His blonde hair is longer than it was when you two were together—they're curling over his forehead. The length is almost too long, it makes him look shaggy, and yet it suits him nevertheless.
Your fists clench. Suddenly, the warmth of your home has vanished because of his presence.
"Are you going to stand there all night?" His voice is raspy and rough, almost as if he had just woken up, but you can tell from his red eyes and the dark circles underneath that he hasn't slept a wink.
"What do you want, Rafe?"
He finally turns his gaze to you, and the sight makes your knees go weak. You want to sit down next to him and bury your head into his chest, but you know that can't happen anymore.
He stands up, making you take a step back. You don't miss the hurt look in his eyes, but he hides it quickly and walks towards you.
The light coming out of the television playing in the background illuminates Rafe's face, his jawline sharp and his lips pulled in a soft frown.
He walks past you, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.
"What the hell?" You murmur, following him as he walks towards the kitchen.
He halts to a stop and you stand behind him, feeling like a mouse in his tall presence. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
He rolls his eyes and turns around to face you. His eyes stare into yours, resulting in the formation of a lump in your throat as your eyes meet for the first time in years.
“Who is he?” Rafe asks bitterly, his eyes not leaving your face. “The guy you were with yesterday at the Golf Club. Even better, where is he?"
Yesterday, your date made a reservation at the Golf Club for your first date, and the smug part of you had wished the Rafe saw the two of you together—which he apparently did.
You had a good time with the boy. He even dropped you off to your house afterwards. He was sweet, polite and soft-spoken. The complete opposite of your ex-boyfriend.
"Rafe, leave."
He scoffs, running his tongue along his inner-cheek. His eyes still burn into yours.
He brings a cold finger to your face and the metal of his ring faintly touches your cheek. You suck in a deep breath as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
You look away from him, unable to stand the intensity of his eyes. You know what he wants, and you won't allow yourself to give in to him.
Almost turning away, you feel him grab your face and force you to look at him. He's staring down at you in a way that makes your heart dip.
You can't believe you used to know this man, can't believe you shared the same bed with him and loved him so unconditionally.
His eyes drop down to your lips, and then back up to your eyes. "Kiss me."
It's your turn to scoff. You try to pry his hand off your face, but he doesn't bulge. He simply leans his face closer to yours, the faint smell of alcohol and cigarettes enveloping your nose.
"Don't tell me that you don't miss it," his thumb moves against your cheek. "I've thought about you every night since the day we broke up. You know, you're the only thing that stays on my mind."
"Rafe—"
"No," his jaw is clenched. "Let me finish, alright? I-I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm fucking useless without you. I need you."
You push his chest away from you. "And whose fault is that, huh?"
"Please," his voice cracks. "Baby, please."
"Oh my god, just-just stop this, okay? Rafe, you didn't even remember our anniversary! The whole day you were getting high with B-"
"I don't care!" He shouts, interrupting you. "I don't care, okay? I just need you, and you need me too! Tell me you don't miss me and I'll leave."
You sigh, rubbing your face. You want to yell at him, but his presence and words make you weak.
He knows that he has an effect on you. He knows how easily he can manipulate you and bend you to his will.
But you gather yourself. You shake your head and seethe through your teeth, "Go fuck yourself, Rafe. Get out, right now. Or I swear to god, I will call the police."
He chuckles lowly. "And tell them what, baby? That Rafe Cameron came into your house and refused to leave? Please, call the police. It'll just make things easier."
"Get. Out." You point towards the door. "Go back to her, Rafe. The bimbo who's always on your arm."
He groans, his voice low and guttural. "She's not you, okay? She doesn't fucking get me. Only you do."
"You're a piece of shit."
He takes a step closer to you, if that was even possible.
"I'm a piece of shit? Do you hear yourself?" He's towering over you. His hands are gripping your arms.
You push his chest again and step back, only to bump into the wall behind.
He, too, takes a step back, running a hand through his hair. He laughs and looks down at his feet. "Fine. You wanna play this game, huh?"
He starts walking towards you, and suddenly your feet are glued to the floor.
You feel his warmth against your body before his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your bodies are pressed against each other's.
You feel him run a finger down the length of your jaw.
You try to fight back the urge to moan at his touch. You want to push him away, but his touch makes you melt. It's been too long. Too long since he's been this close.
"Fuck you." You say, and your shaky voice doesn't go unnoticed by him. "And let go of me."
He ignores you.
He presses his forehead against yours, and your breath hitches in your throat.
You can't stop thinking about how much you want his lips on yours. How much you want him to not listen to your complaints and just fucking kiss you.
His breath hits your lips as his eyes search your face. "Tell me you don't miss me. Tell me you don't miss this," He whispers, his right-hand snaking up your body until it's resting right below your breast.
"I'll leave right now," he says, "and never come back. We can go our separate ways and live the rest of our lives separately. And then, ten years from now, you'll be at a children’s park and you'll see me and think, 'Wow. Rafe Cameron is hot.'"
"I-"
"Or," he pauses, his hand sliding down to your ass. "You can just stop being in denial and admit that you need me just as much as I need you."
His grip on you is tight, and his blue eyes are boring into yours. His breathing has quickened, and so has yours.
His face is mere centimetres away from yours at this point, and his eyes are digging holes in you. You feel his erection against your thigh, and the knowledge that he's aroused makes your brain go haywire.
"Say you fucking want me. I'm yours, alright? Just fucking say it." He's so close to you that you can taste his breathe.
You're at war with yourself. A part of you is screaming to kick him out, but the other part wants him to stay.
His grip on you tightens.
"I hate you." You murmur.
And then his lips are on yours.
The kiss isn’t soft and loving. It's harsh and needy, but it feels so right.
All protests, all thoughts and all the mixed feelings die down when he shifts his hand to your throat and squeezes it. With his other hand, he pulls up your thigh to his waist.
Your lips move together sloppily, his tongue darting into your mouth.
You feel him lift you up and walk over to your bedroom, his grip on you never loosening.
Your arms wrap around his neck, his tongue moves against yours, and all the feelings make you moan against his lips.
He breaks the kiss and pushes the door open with his foot, the dim light in the room allowing you to see the outline of his face.
He's breathing heavily. His eyes are dark with lust and his pupils are dilated.
You don't know what's gotten into him. Maybe the years apart have driven him crazy. But all that doesn't matter because right now he's kissing you like it's the end of the world, and you're letting him.
Your lips collide together again, and this time, it's different. It's more passionate and slow, and he kisses you in a way no one has ever kissed you before.
He lays you down on the bed and crawls on top of you.
You expect him to take control and dominate, but instead, he rests his head against the crook of your neck, his breathing hot on your skin.
"I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispers as he kisses the side of your neck.
You're speechless. Your brain is telling you to shove him off, but your heart and body are telling you something else.
The lump in your throat has returned, and your eyes are starting to burn.
But before you can say anything in response, he rushes back to your lips, and you lose yourself in him.
His lips move hungrily against yours. You can taste the saltiness of his tears, and the thought of Rafe Cameron crying makes the knot in your stomach tighten.
His hips are pressed firmly against yours, his erection digging into your inner thigh.
The kiss is passionate, but there's a hint of possessiveness in the way he grips the side of your face.
His hand trails down your body, his fingertips roughly pushing against the fabric of your shirt making you whimper.
"I missed you so much, baby." He whispers.
Then he's sucking your lips, nibbling, and kissing. He's all over you.
Your hands tug at the hem of his shirt, and he lifts himself off of you, straddling you as he helps you pull his shirt off.
He's still the same; toned, sculpted, and ripped. You can't help but stare.
You run your fingers down his chest, and your eyes shut.
He's beautiful, and you've missed him so much.
He starts trailing kisses down your neck, sucking and leaving dark marks.
You moan breathily when he sucks on the sweet spot beneath your ear.
You were supposed to stand your ground, but fuck, you need him. You need him the same way you did when he first made love to you.
"Rafe," your voice comes out breathy, "I want you."
His hand is on your stomach, moving upward. He pulls his head back, and you see the desperation in his eyes.
"Fuck, say it again," he kisses the tip of your nose. "Tell me that you're mine."
"I'm yours." You shakily murmur. "Only yours."
He only groans in response. His lips capture yours again, making a gasp come out of your mouth—which he greedily swallows.
A piteous whimper slips past your lips when you feel your wetness coating your panties and rubbing against Rafe's pants.
But he still doesn't do anything to relieve the ache between your thighs. You buck your hips discreetly to grind against his covered dick, but he simply slaps your thigh, making you yelp.
He positions himself in between your legs, both of your parts still clothed; the fabric against your wet skin making you whimper.
You moan, grasping his bicep when his fingers trace along your underwear teasingly.
"Does he make you this wet?" He asks before pulling your underwear off and running his fingers past your exposed clit.
Your brain is so fucked up that silence is your only answer.
“Answer me or I swear to fucking God I'll leave you like this,” he says, slapping your thigh and making you gasp.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you reply annoyedly, "Just fucking-"
Suddenly, all heat disappears from above you. Your eyes snap open. The sight of Rafe clenching his jaw and pulling himself away from you makes you hurriedly reach out for him.
You stutter, “Wait-wait, wait, Rafe, baby, please.”
You tug at his arm, pulling him back down on top of you.
"I need you. Please. Please just fuck me."
"You're so pathetic." He chuckles, clicking his tongue before his hands are taking his shirt off, followed by your shirt being thrown somewhere in the room.
He diverts his attention to your tits, trailing wet kisses on each of them. You let out a satisfactory sigh as he continues wrapping and unwrapping his lips around your nipples.
He goes further down and presses kisses along your stomach.
Before you can react, he buries his face between your thighs. Your back arches, a hand on his soft hair as the other grips the pillow next to you, “Oh, fuck."
He practically devours you, looking up every two seconds to meet your blown eyes. He pushes your legs up, making them almost touch your shoulders. You gasp, tightening your grip on his hair as he continues to eat you out.
Your hands are everywhere, trying to hold anything that can make the storm in your stomach calmer.
Rafe slowly releases his tight grip on your legs before sliding his fingers into you. Your eyes squeeze shut.
Your hips slightly buck upwards, but Rafe shoves you down with his free hand.
His fingers are thrusting into you at a brutal pace, his tongue doing wonders right along them.
He detaches his lips off your pussy, but his fingers are still in you.
"Does he-does he touch you as good as I do? Does he make you as wet as I do?" Rafe asks as he leans over you. The hand that had shoved you down is now wrapped around your throat as he presses, making you choke. "No, he fucking doesn't. Only I make you feel this good, yeah?"
He doesn't expect you to say something because he knows that he's saying the truth. He’s the only person who can turn you into a mess.
"Oh my god, Rafe, right there." You moan as he curls his fingers deeper into you.
"Answer me, does he fuck you up as good as I do?"
You roll your eyes at the question he's asking for the nth time now, "Yeah, yeah he does." You reply absent-mindedly.
"What the fuck?" He exclaims, immediately pulling his fingers out of you. He pushes his fingers into your mouth, so deep that it makes you gag.
"You know what, I'll fucking treat you like a whore." He says, his fingers still deep in your mouth. "I thought I'd be nice to you after all these years, but you always have to be a bitch, don't you?"
With one hand, he clumsily pulls off his pants and underwear.
You moan as you feel him drag the tip of his cock over your pussy. He teasingly does so for a few more seconds before meeting your eyes and smirking at you.
"I'm going to fucking ruin you." He mumbles. "Show your boyfriend the bruises I give you, alright?"
And when he pushes his dick in, he makes sure to look down at how your walls envelope him perfectly even after all these years.
"Oh, holy fucking shit." You gasp when his hips thrust forward and go deeper into you.
Rafe drops his head on your shoulder as he sets a pace. "I fucking missed this. I missed fucking you- oh shit." He breathes into your shoulder.
Your eyes roll back into your head, your body budding with the pleasure his thrusts give you.
"Right there." You breathe.
"You never learn, do you?" He says. Swiftly, Rafe pulls out of you and flips you over so that you're on your stomach. "You're a whore. But only mine, baby."
Then he harshly thrusts back into you, making a pathetic moan leave your lips. His hands grip your waist as he pounds into you.
He wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you flush into his sweaty chest, tipping your head up to pull you into a messy kiss. Your teeth and tongues clash uncomfortably, but neither of you give a fuck.
His lips detach from yours, and he buries his forehead into the back of your neck.
"You're squeezing me the fuck out," He moans out.
The new position makes you moan, your hands shifting from being vacant to grabbing your tits as he pushes himself deeper and deeper into you.
The sight of you touching yourself results in Rafe letting out a loud groan. His hand leaves your hair and slides down the front of your body to rub your clit.
The new fervour makes your legs shudder, "Fuck, I'm close." You mumble, leaning your head on his shoulder.
He nods frantically—having waited for this moment for years now.
"Cum for me, yeah. Cum all over me, baby. Need you." Rafe breathes out, thrusting harder into you.
In response, your back arches with a high. A loud moan escaping your lips and white dots blurring your vision as you release all over him.
Rafe fucks you through your orgasm—chasing his own with wild thrusts. “Oh, fuck, fuck."
You can feel his high approaching as he grips you tighter. He thrusts into you harshly, desperate for his release.
He throws his head back with a loud groan and a long string of curses when his hips falter and he's covering your insides with his cum.
The two of you are a gasping mess when you lay down on the bed.
You both stay there for moment, breathing in each other's scent. He traces your body, as if to memorise every inch.
When Rafe pulls away from you, it's like he's pulling your heart out too.
Because you know that this was just another night for him.
When Rafe cleans you up and covers you up with a blanket, he fails to cover the ache of your heart.
Because you know that the bed he'll be returning to won't be yours; but the other woman's.
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blimpintime · 3 days
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a jar of wind
part two
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Wynnie Lara is a fairy that was saved from a jar from Amarantha's reign of terror, but is soon figuring out that her time of peace is coming to an end.
warnings: none besides being slightly unedited.
word count: 1.4k
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4 months later 
Dearest Wynnie Lara,
I hope you are doing well, we miss you very dearly in the Night Court but understand you leaving after such harsh things were spoken to you. I wanted to invite you to Nyx’s first birthday celebration. He does miss you so much. (As do we).
After finding out what Azriel and the other two had said to you I almost blew up their homes with the help of my sisters. 
Elain misses you very much, even though she writes letters to you weekly, you and her seemed to help each other heal after everything happened to you both. She won't tell anybody where you have gone so I will be handing this letter to her in hopes it reaches you. 
We miss you so much, and I hate that the boys said those harsh things to you for no reason. You are not a bother, or suffocating, you light up every space you go into which is so refreshing, I do not want you to feel forced to come home (Nesta feels otherwise, she misses you so much she almost started a war with another court in search of you.) But we do want you to know you do have a home here. No matter what. I know Rhys feels devastated with how the situation turned out, even though it is partially his fault.  I want to make it clear how sorry we are for their actions and that we adore you. 
Lovingly, 
Feyre
I crumple the edges of the letter with tears streaming down my face, with a shaking breath I fold the letter gently and put it back into the envelope. I set it with the piles of letters Elain has sent to me on my coffee table. I wipe my face and head over to my rough looking door of the tree house that I am living in and latch it. This area of the Autumn Court has always been on the poorer side but it was home. Growing up with no family and moving around as a fairy was never safe, so before Amarantha’s reign I settled in this area of Autumn. 
Having not been to this home in two years it took a while to get it back into shape, cleaning and removing critters that have turned it into their home while I was gone. I have wind chimes and wards surrounding this home just like my other one, the difference here though is the Autumn wind is much more soothing for me then in any other court. It’s almost like my soul knows it's safe here. 
I have my wind playing soothing music with the small instruments placed around the open room. Candles lit and windows open for the utmost ambiance while I research different wind patterns.
I hear one of my chimes go off near the front door that catches my attention, I get up from the table and walk back to the door.  Frantic knocking is what I hear once I get to the door itself, I rip it open to see what is wrong. 
“Miss Wynnie!” with a sob, and I look down to see one of the kids I help take care of from the children’s shelter near my tree house. Little antlers poke through his red hair, and tears stream down his tanned face as he launches towards me. 
“Oatie what is the matter?” I say and crouch to his level. I put my hands on his shoulders to sooth him and look him in the eyes.
“Those mean guards are back at the shelter, they are demanding more money.” Oatie is a twelve year old boy who had to grow up quickly due to being an orphan partially under Beron’s rageful reign, but he was still a gentle soul. Things have started to get better slowly with the new High Lord, but it is a slow process when the court has so much hate built in. 
“Okay sweet boy, it’s going to be alright. Go curl up on the couch with a book and some tea and I will go take care of this okay?” I tell him with a soft voice. He nods and heads off that way. Once he is settled on the couch I fix my dress, and re-braid the two long braids under my bob and fly off the balcony.
When I arrive at the shelter there are two guards yelling at the volunteer on duty at the shelter. With a burst of wind I separate them from the worker, and land in front of them. I motion for the worker to go inside.
“What is the issue here?” I bark at them, their heated eyes turn to me.
“They owe us money for protection.” The one on the right says with a grunt.
“That’s your job. The High Lord literally pays you to protect the people. So that was the wrong answer, do me a favor and try again.” I say while rolling my eyes and shifting my weight to one hip. 
“You bitch.” One says and I let out a laugh with a clap of my hands. I know I probably shouldn’t egg them on but it’s so easy. As I am about to respond they both seem to stiffen and look behind me.
“Well that’s no way to speak to a lady.” I turn to face the new voice, which belongs to High Lord Eris, who recently has had his hair trimmed since the last time I saw him. 
“She is barely a lady, my lord.” One said with a snicker. I respond with a glare and a large gust of wind knocking them both over.
I turn to face Eris completely and give him a graceful curtsy grabbing the edges of my green dress. To which I receive a sucking of the teeth sound from him.
“Wynnie dear, stand up please. You don’t have to bow to me, we are old friends.” He says with a soft smile. The two guards seemed to have disappeared leaving the two of us alone. I straighten and glow a soft pink with a cheeky grin say,
“Yes, well, I have to show my respect My Lord.” He chuckles and makes a small lunge toward me, so I float backwards and he narrowly misses me. 
“You’ll have to be quicker than that to catch me sir.” He grunts a small breath and lunges towards me again. And I am suddenly reminded of when we were younger.
“Eris! Where are you?” I yell knowing he is hiding behind one of the trees with his hounds. 
“Got you!” I hear from behind me and feel my waist being pulled into someone's chest. I look up over my shoulder and see Eris with a wide grin. I pout at him. 
“That’s not fair.” I whine. “You know I am afraid of your pups, they think I am a big bird waiting to be hunted.”  He laughs in response. 
“I would never let them hurt you Wynnie Lara, I would never let anyone hurt you.” He said softly. “You are my only friend in this wretched court. I will burn it down to protect you.” 
“Eris that is sweet but, you are an heir would that not be counterproductive?” I ask teasingly but my skin glowing a bright warm orange with endearment. 
“Not for you Wynnie.” He says.
“I can’t stay in this area long, but I did want to invite you to dinner soon.”  He tells me when we both are sitting on the forest floor. Me on a rock with my wings glowing and him leaned up against it. My hands naturally find his hair and gently run my fingers through it. 
“I would love to.” I tell him, “I might visit the Night Court here soon.” I say with a whisper.
“Oh?” He asks me softly.
“Nyx is turning one and I miss the girls a little bit.” I responded.
“Yes, that's understandable. I still am beyond livid for how you were treated there.” He says back with a huff. And I laugh a little, “You and me both.” 
“I will have to send you with a gift, hmm?” He tells me. 
“That would be very kind of you, my lord.” And in response I get him standing up and pinching my sides. 
“Mercy! Mercy!” I say in between giggles. 
“Alright Wynn. I will send a letter for dinner when you return. Be safe and have a good night.” He tells me with a pat to the head and soft voice. 
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a/n: soooooooooooo what do with think???
I am a sucker for soft Eris omggggg. Please if any questions please let me know!
I am trying the taglist I hope it works lmao
taglist: @cazrielsfairygf @buckyloki888 @litnerdwrites @the-fandom-ness @booksbypisces @nerdyalmondlawyerauthor
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zweiginator · 2 days
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DESPERATELY NEED U TO ELBORATE ON THE PATRICK'S LITLLE SISTERS BABYSITTER OMFG
brrrrr patrick coming home from college and that's why you're home too. you just need some extra cash over break and the zweig's are so wealthy they're willing to pay you almost triple what you would usually get. so of course you'll watch their elementary-age daughter. she's sweet and easy to get along with and the zweigs give you extra money to go to movies or get takeout for dinner.
so you're sitting on the floor in the living room painting her nails when you almost have a heart attack because the door is flinging open and the zweigs aren't supposed to be back until morning.
you're ready to have her hide behind you when she starts beaming.
"patty!"
he sets his bags down and kneels down to hug her since her toes are freshly painted pink.
"who's this?" patrick smirks at you and you look up at him, still confused.
"my babysitter. mom and dad went out of town."
he reaches out to shake your hand. "hi babysitter. I'm patrick, the big brother."
and now it makes sense; you've heard the zweigs mention him every once in awhile. pictures of him when he was younger are scattered around the house but it's clear they haven't been updated in awhile because he looks different.
he's taller and more filled-out. stronger legs and arms and facial hair that peppers his jaw. in the family photos in the house he's much younger and much scrawnier with an awkward, sheepish smile.
but here, he towers above you and he's confident. he looks at you in a way his little sister wouldn't understand, but you can see his intentions clear as day.
"why are you here, patty?" his sister asks him.
he stares right at you. "just wanted to come back home for break."
"i thought you were going to visit artie at stanford?"
"nah. I'll see him soon enough."
the truth is, he shouldn't be home. he and his parents had had a falling out but he needs money and he knows they can't say no to their son's face. they're still pissed about him being caught with drugs in his college town. the charges were dropped but not without his father, a big attorney in town, talking them down. it wouldn't happen again.
and when you tuck his sister into bed, patrick is leaning against the door, watching you.
he asks if you want to hang out and being in the same house with him, you just opt to say yes.
so that's how you end up in the kitchen. you're sitting on the counter, and patrick reaches onto a top shelf to get some liquor out. his shirt rides up and you look away.
"wanna drink?" he unscrews the bottle.
"just one. i'm being paid to babysit, you know."
"as if my parents don't drink all fuckin' time. you're fine."
he pours you both a drink. makes you clink your glass with his.
the one drink turns into two and then you refuse another. patrick stops too. but the music he turned on is pretty and soft and he's just staring at you. you grip the edge of the counter hard because you're having an urge to do something bad. something you shouldn't do.
patrick steps closer, standing in between your legs. he sprawls his hand on the back of your head and you swallow, big eyes staring up at him. his thumb traces across your cheek and then presses against your bottom lip and you whimper.
and against your better judgment, you tug on the hem of his shirt. he's quick to pull it over his head.
his body is perfect and the vodka is warm in your system. it's making you sensitive to everything around you.
he pulls you into him, kissing you roughly, his hands snaking down your back to feel your ass and somehow your legs end up wrapped around him, your hand feeling his hardening cock through his jeans.
"i shouldn't do this." you unbuckle his belt.
"you shouldn't or you won't?" he hikes your dress up.
"i shouldn't."
"me neither."
he fucks you anyway.
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kaivenom · 2 days
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Dating Sir Crocodile HCS
A/N: this is based on a request made by an anonymous, i hope you read this. And i must admit that i got really long.
Masterlist
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Meeting
You either meet him by working for him or by being another mobster let's set the division here.
You work for him
You were selected by your habilities, he didn't care about your appearence, just your effieciency.
And you really were, that's what he liked and what made him ascend you really fast.
When you were like his second in command, you started to feel like you were overworking, same salary but much more work.
In the other hand, he started to feel the most relaxed he has been ever, your pressence was making him be better at work and all that comes with it.
You wanted a raise and he didn't give to you. He saw it as a lack of respect and you shut up, not wanting to damage the good relationship you both builded.
At the end you resigned a week after and he let you.
Spoiler, he couldn't stand it, not because him having to do the work, no, because he was alone and you weren't there with your calming pressence, the bad jokes and that good morning smile.
He lasted a couple of weeks, then he went to search you.
"So, someone can't do his job without help."
"It's not about the job."
"Then what it..." you couldn't continue because he was kissing you.
You returned, now at his second officially, no raise but unlimited access to his money.
You are another mobster
At first there was that cordial hostility between enemies that otherwise would be friends.
Both of you tried to make peace between your mobs but obviously, with your own terms.
To be more casual, you both decided to meet at dinner place.
Ussually mobs share living experiences to see if their life styles combine with their future allies, so you both would do that.
The problem was still unsolved so you needed another meeting, and then other and other, until you weren't even talking about alliances just life.
This is the point were your gangs started to see the new problem and wanted to solve it for their way.
"So, one of my seconds said that at this point if we want an alliance we should be married, crazy right?" you said flustered.
"It's not crazy, mine's said that too. We don't have to be marrid but maybe they are right and we should date."
"If dating goes wrong, we are doomed."
"Then we can't mess up, we can do a contract if that happens, if it makes you feel safer."
"Really?"
"Dating you seems like the perfect idea for me, like i don't desire to do so?" he was talking serious, he wanted to date but he was concious about it, now he had de excuse.
Dating
His love languages are gifts, anything you want then he has it the next morning on your door. And quality time: long afternoons on the office, sleepless lazy nights.
He can't do physical touch as much as he wants to thanks to his reputation and your safety, so that would be reserved to home.
The more you will have on public are cheek or forehead kisses, a small pat on your head or a little brush on the leg.
Then in the house, you won't have another sit that isn't his legs.
Big on commited men, this man has a special calendar in the office to remeber dates with you. He even has the secretary to remember him special dates if he forget due to work.
He knows he can get submerged on job so he does everything he cans to just don't dissapoint you, cause he knows you expect him to be working a lot.
Hes huge, we know that, so you will sleep on top of him or using him as a pillow and pray to not end up as the little spoon.
That doesn't happen ussually, so you don't get crushed but he will always have his arm on you (so you sleep on the side of his good arm)
If someone tries to threaten him, you are the one on lock down.
After a couple of years he will start to think about retiring and have a life with you and maybe a kid. The first thing it's difficult so he proposes to you to begin with that.
He is a master of deals and that applies to you, it's wonderful to know that he always listens to your concerns and tries to solve it or either get to a agreement.
He never reaises his voice with you and you are the only one that makes him laugh, like a real laugh, not the mafia boss grin.
NSFW
He needs to be in control always so disconecting from that in bedroom is difficult.
He tends to be dominant and give you orders (not that you complain) but on particular vulnerable days he is more able to let it go and you have the oportunity to lazily ride him with passionate kisses.
He can make you call him daddy but not sir, never that, everyone calls him that, but in bed you should never, it just clicks something on his mobster mind that he doesn't like. He is with you not in the job.
He doesn't like degradation either, maybe things like pointing your obvious need for him but not hummiliate.
I think he doesn't view sex like an everyday activity, he is a man but he is a grown one. If he gets a random boner he will try to hide it or let it happen, nothing much but... if you happen to be with a skirt or with a particular behaviour or he is specially needy for you, then he will go to catch you.
Definetily a growler and groaner, perfectly able to talk and tell you how good you make him feel and how good you are doing it. These are the times when he is the more talkative ever.
He loves to comunicate with these things cause he is a big man (you know what i mean) and he knows it so he wants to make you confortable. You both had a talk about it and you were more flustered about his serious face than to the fact that he was saying his dick will split you in half.
But things said, then he could fuck you like god, cause he knows how to do it.
He is more of a reciever, something about your pretty dollface between his legs with his dick half way into your mouth, it's so sexy.
You both even tried to take things out of the bedroom and try that famous scene were the girls suck the guy under the table on a meeting.
Spoiler: neither of you liked it so, things stayed in the bed.
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puttersmile · 1 day
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Crittertember Day 16: Sleeping
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Yes have some more Puppylove! And a oneshot to go with it!
When the skies darkened Dogday had a sinking feeling it was too late to leave.  He’d lost track of time and without warning a sudden  thunderstorm rolled in. The thunder rumbled, making Dogday tense up and his tail sag. He had always tried to hide his fear of storms, even though his friends knew. 
Bobby didn’t like it much either, but as the storm intensified and it became clear that Dogday couldn’t leave, she nervously suggested,
 “Why don’t you, uh, stay the night? We could… keep each other company?” Bobby saw the rain pouring in sheets outside her window. “ Like maybe we could–”
“S-sleep together? Like… in the bed? Under the covers? The same bed? The both of us?” Dogday stammered, trying to play dumb to mask his own nervousness. 
Bobby blushed but nodded.. “Yes, in the same bed. We’ll be more comfortable that way, and it’s not like I want to face this storm alone.”
Dogday gulped. “I mean, I can always take the couch…”
Bobby shook her head quickly. “No, really. I’d feel better if you were with me. It’s already late enough as it is.” Bobby genty pulled his hand. "Promise I won't bite."
Dogday couldn’t help but laugh, albeit shyly. “Well, when you put it that way… Okay, I’m in. But fair warning, I might need to hold onto something if the thunder gets too loud.”
Bobby raised an eyebrow, feigning nonchalance. “Well, as long as that ‘something’ happens to be me, I think we’ll be just fine.”
She lead him to her room, the storm outside seemed to boom only half as hard as Dogday’s heartbeat. Yet it also made the space feel cozier despite the crackling tension in the air. They settled into bed, a timid excitement bubbling up as they cuddled close. 
Dogday was hyper-aware of her warmth, the scent of her fur, and the steady rhythm of her breathing. It felt right, yet the newness of it all made his pulse race.
Another boom of thunder rolled through, and Dogday instinctively pulled her closer. 
“You weren’t kidding about needing to hold onto something, huh?” Bobby teased.
Dogday smiled sheepishly. “Guess not.” He glanced around, “You know, this is pretty scandalous. What will our friends think?”
Bobby grinned, playing along. “They’ll probably be jealous they’re not getting a warm hug from someone as awesome as me.”
Dogday snickered as he eased his side into one of Bobby’s oversized pillows. “You’re probably right.”
At that moment, Bobby leaned in and began peppering his face and neck with soft kisses, each one sending a thrill through her dog friend, his tail thumping against the blankets wildly. Enraptured by her affection, he managed to joke, 
“H-hey, Bobs! You know, I’m starting to think you wanted the storm to get me into this kind of position!”
Bobby pulled back just enough to smirk at him, her eyes gleaming. “That’s a strong possibility, but I’ll admit nothing.”
A comfortable silence fell between them, the storm outside no longer feeling like a threat but more like a backdrop to this moment.
Bobby broke the silence with a soft voice, “You know, I’ve imagined this… falling asleep with you. It’s nice, even if I didn’t picture the thunder.”
Dogday’s heart swelled, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Me too. And I don’t care about the thunder as long as you’re here.”
Bobby giggled. “It can’t hurt you as long as I’m around.”
Dogday yawned. “My hero.”
Bobby smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her that had nothing to do with the blankets wrapped around them. “Well, in that case, I guess we’ll have to make this a regular thing.”
Dogday chuckled, the sound soft and comforting as he started drifting into sleep. Finally his tail rested.
“I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
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AN: I doggedly continue making Crittertember art. They should be under the blankets but I drew them first and didn't want to erase half their body lol.
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aliceintheworld · 21 hours
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PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST
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Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader
Summary: "I shouldn't be watching a man undressing, especially not from the house next door."
Warning: more religion 😬 depression, Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi appear. Jungkook in a towel 💦👅 finally a kiss (things from here happen quickly.) ATTENTION, THIS STORY IS NOT SLOWBURN.
A/N: Guys, I took a while this time for reasons of: laziness and discouragement. I wanted more people to read what I write, but I'm introverted even on the Internet, which leaves me with few alternatives to show my writing to the world. Thinking about it, I'm in trouble. Other than that, only a few days have passed, so everything is fine. Back to the story, everything starts to pick up pace. Just to repeat, the fanfic is not slowburn, so there will be smut in the next chapter. Stay tuned.
Previous Chapter
Chapter 3
I spend the whole week riding an emotional rollercoaster. I find myself visiting my neighbor, Mrs. Jeon, more frequently than usual, and with each visit, our friendship blossoms deeper. She shares stories of her youth, of wild adventures and carefree days when she was my age. Her openness encourages me to share my own experiences–or rather, my lack of them. I recount my first disastrous kiss, confess that I've never been in love, and reveal how my once unshakeable faith in the church has wavered since my father's passing. I feel a weight lift off my shoulders; here, I am free to be imperfect, to be vulnerable, without fear of judgment.
Yet, there's one thing I keep to myself: the incident with her son, Jungkook, and the profound effect he has on me. Throughout all my visits, I never see him again. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I casually ask Mrs. Jeon where he is. She tells me that he moved and rented an apartment to avoid being a burden. He only spent the first night at home after his trip, and I remember that night well–from my window, of course–but I don't mention it. Disappointment settles in me like a stone; I long to see him again, but I focus on his mother instead. Having her to confide in is a relief, a breath of fresh air in my otherwise stifling life.
I patiently wait for her to open up about her own struggles, her depression, but she never does. I worry that I might know something I shouldn't, that perhaps she's not comfortable sharing with me. But I promise myself I'll keep her secret safe, no matter what. Today is Sunday, and I won't visit Mrs. Jeon since I'll see her at church. I'm excited–despite my mother making unnecessary comments and disturbing my peace of mind, I'll have someone to rely on.
I smooth down my dark brown dress, fixing my messy hair. I dab a bit of lipstick on my fingertips and press it onto my lips, careful not to overdo it. The truth is, I enjoy makeup, but I've never learned how to apply it properly. I feel embarrassed drawing attention to myself with bolder colors; after all, people are used to my lack of vanity. I sigh, steeling myself as I head downstairs to meet my mother.
She hasn't stopped talking about Jungkook. Unlike me, who had a good first impression, she despises him. She criticizes everything: his eyebrow piercing, his bold style, his tattoos, even the way he carries himself. I can't help but wonder if she accepted the dinner invitation just to analyze him, searching for flaws that exist only in her mind. She's been friends with Misuk since moving to town, and I want to believe–perhaps naively–that my mother doesn't have ulterior motives.
We arrive at church early, the space quiet with only a few members milling about. My mother drifts away to chat with the older congregation, and I find a seat, taking a deep breath. I scan the room for Mrs. Jeon but I don't see her. Since it's still early, I'm not too worried. I take a moment to read the Bible, reflecting on positive thoughts when I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder. I turn, and there he is–Jungkook, smiling brightly. I frown, almost convinced he's a mirage. Am I daydreaming?
"Hi Y/N, are you okay?" he asks softly, his lips brushing almost against my ear. His intense gaze locks with mine, and I'm relieved to be sitting down; my legs feel weak in his presence.
"Everything's fine," I reply, my eyes dropping to my fingers. I want to engage him, ask about his week, inquire how he's been, but the words stick in my throat. It's as though I can't act normally around him. I take a deep breath, mustering the courage to comment, "I didn't know you attended church."
"I don't," he laughs, amusement dancing in his eyes. And rightly so; considering his clothes–a heavy leather jacket, shaved sides, and a wavy fringe–it's sexy but definitely not what you'd expect at church. "I haven't been since I was a kid."
"Really? Why?" I ask, genuinely curious, my gaze drawn to his eyebrow piercing, oddly captivating.
"I didn't feel welcome," he replies simply. There's no bitterness in his voice, and I understand all too well what he means. My mother, for example, was the first to judge him based on his appearance, and I can only imagine how difficult it is to feel at home in a place where you're not embraced.
"I understand," I say, unsure of what else to add. "So, you came here to give it another shot?"
"No way," he chuckles. "Actually, my mom mentioned you two planned to meet at church today."
"That's true," I confirm.
"Unfortunately, she can't make it today. She's not feeling well."
"Is she okay?" My concern surfaces immediately.
"She's fine, don't worry. Just a headache, and she took some medicine. She'll be better soon," he assures me, his hand lightly touching my shoulder. I can't help but notice how warm and gentle his touch is. I shake my head, trying to divert my thoughts from Jungkook's hands to anything else.
"I'm relieved to hear that," I smile, noticing the church is starting to fill up.
"I'm actually inviting some friends over to my apartment, and I wanted to know if you'd like to join us," he says, brushing his fingertips against his ear, a bit shy. I'm taken aback; I didn't expect this invitation. He wants me to come over with his friends?
"And why?" I ask, surprised. It's been a while since we last saw each other, and we haven't talked much even then.
"I like you. I want you to come so we can have fun."
"If this is some kind of payment, or something like that... you really don't need to." I reply, not believing it. I don't have friends, and the thought that he wants to be with me and the people he likes seems absurd to me.
"It's not that. I'm even a bit offended." He jokes, smiling. "I really want you to come, please."
"Jungkook... I don't know."
"I swear they're nice. Every time I'm in Busan, we hang out. They're trustworthy, I promise."
"I can imagine," I reply, still hesitant. I'd have to leave church, skip the service, and ask my mother for permission to go out with him, and of course, she wouldn't allow it. No way. It's not that I don't want to; I desperately want to spend time with him. That's been on my mind all week. "I don't think it's possible; my mom..."
"I know," he interjects, as if he anticipated my response. "But what if, just this once, you say you are going to my mom's? We could say I'm taking you there when in fact, you're coming to my apartment."
"Are you asking me to lie to my mother in a church?" I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. He shrugs, grinning.
"God knows it's just once," he replies confidently, pouting slightly. "What do you say? Later, I can take you to my mom's whenever you want, or you can stay at my apartment since I have more than one room. You set the time and conditions."
"Jungkook..." I groan, covering my face with my hands. The thought of lying to my mother, especially to go to a guy's house, sends a wave of anxiety through me. If she finds out, I'll be in big trouble.
"Come on! It'll be fun. I promise," he pleads softly. I can't say no to him, at least not now. I nod, agreeing to the madness.
"Okay, but you're the one who's going to talk to my mom. And if I say I want to leave, you agree. No alcohol because I know you drive. Those are my conditions," I assert, trying to sound firm. He smiles and salutes me, like a soldier receiving orders, and I slowly get up, taking small steps toward my mother. I let Jungkook lead the way, my nerves creeping back as I prepare to tell a lie in this sacred place.
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Eunji. Good afternoon, everyone," he greets my mom and the other church members. My mother looks utterly shocked, her eyes nearly popping out of her head as she takes in his appearance.
"Good afternoon, Jungkook," she replies, lacking enthusiasm, her gaze scanning him from head to toe. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to do a favor for my mom," he clarifies, and if I didn't know better, I'd almost believe him. "My mom asked Y/N to keep her company since my dad will be out of town for a few days. I came to pick her up."
"Really?" my mom looks at me, and I don't say anything, just nodding.
"It's true. My dad went to Daegu this weekend, and since my mom hasn't been feeling well, she asked Y/N to spend time with her. If you allow it, of course," he smiles calmly, and I brace myself waiting for my mother's response. I watch her weigh her options, glancing between Jungkook and me for what feels like an eternity before she sighs and nods.
"Alright, that's fine. Is your mom feeling okay?"
"Yes, she's getting better. Can we go now?" he asks, a hint of urgency in his voice.
"Yes, you may go," my mom sighs, placing a hand on her forehead. "It's a shame you're missing the service today, Y/N. Next week, you'll definitely come, okay?"
"Yes, mom, for sure," I agree weakly, clearing my throat and avoiding her gaze, still stunned that she let me go to Jungkook's house. Well, not his house, but is practically the same thing.
"Shall we go, Y/N? My mom is waiting," Jungkook says, raising an eyebrow. I nod, still silent, as we make our way toward the exit.
Some people stare, especially the older members, who seem shocked by Jungkook's appearance–too conservative, in my opinion. Somehow, the situation feels even funnier. Once we're sure no one can see us anymore, I burst into laughter, clutching my stomach. Jungkook chuckles too, exhaling as if he's just finished a tough exam and is finally free.
"Your mom is tough, huh?" he laughs. "I thought she was going to kill me with her eyes."
"Sorry," I say, still giggling a little. "She's like that with everyone."
"Even with you?"
"Even with me," I nod. "What do we do now?"
"Now, we go to my apartment. My friends have the key, so they're probably already there."
"Don't tell me they're all guys," I groan, suddenly anxious. I hadn't considered that he might not have any female friends, and I'd be the only girl at the apartment if that were the case.
"No, relax! I have female friends too. You'll like them," he assures me, walking toward a sleek black car parked across the street. I know nothing about cars, but I can tell this one is expensive. I feel out of place, acutely aware that Jungkook lives in a different world, one that's far removed from my own.
The tension in the car is palpable as we drive. The ride feels like it takes forever, the windows closed, and I'm intoxicated by his scent. I discreetly watch his large hands on the wheel, the way his long fingers tap rhythmically against the leather seat. I have to swallow hard to keep from drooling over him. I'm starving–not for food, but for him. All week, I've yearned to be near him, to touch him. I think I'm suffering from a Jungkook overdose, craving something I haven't even tasted yet.
I ponder whether he's aware of the effect he has on me, but I like to believe he hasn't noticed. It's easier that way. I breathe slowly, attempting to relax in my seat. It takes another ten minutes before Jungkook opens the gate to a condo with a small remote and drives in slowly. His car fits the place perfectly. Everything is stunning and upscale. I glance at my clothes and regret agreeing to come. Why did I say yes? I don't know his friends, and I don't know Jungkook that well, aside from the overwhelming attraction I feel toward him. What do I actually know about him? That he's a tattoo artist from Seoul? That he's rich and hasn't set foot in a church since childhood? I feel like I've walked into a situation that's spiraling out of control.
"Hey, Y/N, are you okay? You went quiet all of a sudden," he asks, concern etched on his face.
"I'm fine. Just feeling a bit strange," I admit.
"Why?"
"I don't know," I confess, omitting my paranoid thoughts. "I always feel like this in new places."
"I get that. I feel that way too," he tells me as we step into the parking elevator. I follow him, digesting this new revelation.
"You seem so confident and social," I comment, genuinely amazed. His big eyes meet mine as the elevator rises, floors passing by in a blur.
"I know, it seems that way. But in reality, I'm quite introverted. I have a small circle of friends and prefer it that way. I just fake it really well," he shares, and I find myself wanting to know more about the person behind the confident exterior.
"Really?" I ask, intrigued.
"Yeah," he nods, his expression earnest.
I try to respond, but the elevator stops on a floor, and Jungkook smiles at me, indicating that this is the right place. I feel one of his hands gently touch my waist, guiding me to a white door. I have to take a deep breath to keep from freaking out, my sweaty, trembling hands hidden in my pocket. I hear different music from the other side of the door before the place fully opens up to us.
"Hey, he's here! Finally, Jungkook!" I hear a male voice. It's a guy around Jungkook's age, I realize as soon as we walk in. His hair is a dark red, and his skin is pale and smooth. It's no surprise that his arms are covered in tattoos, drawings and phrases I can't read so far away. He also watches me closely, smiling warmly.
"Guys, this is YN, the one I told you about," Jungkook introduces me with a smile.
I turn red because there are at least seven people staring at me from head to toe. The apartment is well-kept, with dark wooden furniture. The living room is immaculate, with abstract paintings and photos of Jungkook and his family on the walls. I don't have much time to take everything in as my eyes focus on Jungkook's friends, who are strangers to me so far. Saying they're different from me would be an understatement.
They all have many tattoos and wear dark clothing. I sense an aura of confidence from all of them, but never hostility. It's as if they're very similar to Jungkook, with a completely different exterior from their inner selves. I relax a bit, smiling warmly and putting on my best expression.
"Nice to meet you all," I say, feeling a bit shy. They stand up and smile at me.
"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Yoongi. That's my girlfriend, Minji," says the red-haired guy, pointing to the woman who just smiles. I offer my hand, feeling his cold skin from the beer bottle he was holding earlier.
"I'm Bora, and this is my boyfriend, Jimin," one of the dark-haired women greets me next, pointing to her boyfriend. They're a good-looking couple, the kind you see in magazines. Jimin has the brightest and most open smile.
"Nice to meet you," I nod.
"I'm Taehyung, but you can call me Tae," one of the guys says, taking a sip of his drink.
"I'm Yoori, Tae's girlfriend. Nice to meet you," she winks, making me laugh.
"And I'm Hayun, the only single one in the group," one of the girls shakes my hand, pulling me into a hug. She kisses my cheek, making her presence increasingly noticeable.
"Hayun, you're only single because you want to be, come on," Bora rolls her eyes. Hayun laughs, grabbing a snack from the coffee table.
"I like being single, except when I'm surrounded by couples. Especially couples like you guys."
"Do you have a boyfriend, Y/N?" Jimin asks. Embarrassed, I shake my head.
"No," I reply. They seem surprised, making noises with their mouths.
"But Jungkook is single too, right?" The guy with dark hair says, drinking his beverage. I thinks his name is Tae, if I remember right.
"And I want to keep that way." Jungkook replys.
"Of course you do." Yoongi laughs along with his friends, rolling his eyes. I remain silent, not understanding the joke. Then Yoongi looks at me and seems to notice my confusion. "Y/N, Jungkook never dates. The only time he tried, it went so wrong that now he doesn’t want to do it again."
"It was a disaster." Yoori adds, as if telling a fictional story. Jungkook rolls his eyes, sighing, but his friend continues: "he’s been avoiding relationships like the devil avoids the cross since then."
"Really?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"It’s not true, Y/N." Jungkook smiles at me. "They’re idiots."
"That’s not a lie." Minji, who had been silent until then, clarifies. "He’s been asked out several times, and he always declines. Women go crazy for him, for some reason."
"I know what the reason is." Jimin laughs mischievously, suggesting something while raising an eyebrow. I turn red when they laugh at the joke. Jungkook doesn’t contest it, too busy eating one of the snacks on the table. "But what about you, Y/N? Have you ever dated before?"
"Never." I reply. They don't look surprised this time.
"So you're like Jungkook, who avoids relationships?" Bora asks with a laugh. I feel Jungkook's eyes on me, watching attentively for my response. I shake my head, feeling awkward.
"No, actually, it's just a lack of options," I clarify, deciding to be honest. I hold my hands together nervously.
"Now you have two options," Yoongi suggests with a chuckle. Minji hits his arm trying to stop him, but he continues: "There's Hayun, since she likes to try out a little bit of everything, like some pussy and shit."
"Oh!" I widen my eyes, shocked, as they laugh even more. It's the first time I've seen someone speak so openly like this. Embarrassed, I look at Hayun, but she doesn't seem to mind the comment, laughing with the others.
"Who would be the other option?" Taehyung asks his friend with his trademark grin.
"Our friend Jungkook, obviously," Yoongi clarifies, and I choke on the answer, coughing uncontrollably.
They laugh even more, watching me nearly suffocate from the joke. Jungkook pats my back, smiling widely. His thumb caresses the skin of my arm, waiting for me to calm down. We're so close that he inadvertently wraps one of his arms around my shoulder. I'm shocked and even more unsettled. For me, physical contact beyond my mom is rare. Hugs, affection... I'm just not used to it.
"Are you okay?" he asks amidst his friends' chatter. I nod, staring at my hands. "Sorry about Yoongi; he always makes these kinds of jokes. He doesn't mean any harm."
"It's fine," I assure him, feeling awkward, unable to look into his eyes. "I actually liked everyone."
"Really?" he asks, bringing his nose close to my hair. My whole body shivers as I realize he's smelling my perfume, giving a satisfied smile when he pulls away. "Good to know."
I stay silent, feeling his warm breath near me. Jungkook removes his arm from my shoulder, but his skin still brushes against mine when he takes off his heavy jacket, leaving him in just a T-shirt. His friends are fun and involve me in the conversation, making me feel comfortable, but the truth is that having Jungkook so close drives me crazy and I can't pay much attention. I wonder how long I'll feel this way about him. Will this strong effect never go away? This is the third time we've met, but something tells me that no matter how many times I see him-be it two times or a thousand-my heart will always race whenever he gets close and smiles at me.
I don't even notice the time passing and only realize it's late when Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung offer to take their girlfriends home, along with Hayun, who complains about not having anyone waiting for her at her apartment. Everyone leaves until only Jungkook and I remain. He promised to take me to his mother's house if I wanted, but I'm hesitant to ask as it's quite likely Mrs. Jeon is already asleep by now.
"Y/N, do you want me to get a towel for you?" Jungkook asks, tidying up the living room. I'm confused, picking up some empty soju bottles his friends drank to throw away.
"What do you mean?"
"You're not going to stay here?" he asks, furrowing his brow.
"Not really?" I laugh, then realize I might have been a bit rude, so I rephrase my response. "I mean, I don't think so. I don't want to be a bother."
"It's no bother. If you want, you can take a shower in my bathroom and sleep in the guest room." He offers with a smile. I bite my lower lip, unsure what to decide. I want to stay here, but it's just him and me now; is it really the right thing to do? It doesn't matter, Y/N. Just for one night.
"Okay then. Do you have a toothbrush, please?"
"Of course I do. Come with me, I'll get the stuff for you to use the bathroom." He calls me with a smile and walks down the long hallway. We pass by a few doors until we reach his room. My throat goes dry as my eyes scan the new space. His bed is large and covered with a dark gray blanket. The walls are white and everything is very organized, with a laptop next to the wardrobe and a fluffy black rug on the floor. His scent is everywhere, almost as if I'm breathing him. I clutch my hands together nervously about being alone with Jungkook in such an intimate space. He reappears after going to the closet, holding a white towel and some cotton clothes.
"You can take a shower in my bathroom while I use the guest one," he says, placing the items in my hands.
"Jungkook, that's not necessary..."
"Don't worry. I want you to be comfortable." He says before I can argue. His satisfied smile makes me not deny it again, happy to receive so much care from him. I just nod, agreeing. "The toothbrush is in the cabinet by the sink, in the package. You can open it, okay?"
"Okay, thank you very much." I smile before he walks down the hallway. I head to the door leading to the bathroom and sneak into the new space. I start thinking Jungkook has no flaws.
The place is as clean as the rest of the apartment, which makes me curious; does he clean everything himself, or does he hire someone to keep it tidy? I slowly take off my dress, grabbing my phone to text my mom and let her know I'm okay. I feel bad for lying, but the night was so good that I can't truly regret it. If I had to lie, to meet these same people, I would do it again. Thinking this surprises me, because just a few hours ago, I didn't think this way. The shower has a strong hot jet of water that massages my whole body, and it's so good that I have to convince myself to finish the shower and put on the clothes, trying to be done before Jungkook.
I brush my teeth quickly, smelling my skin that's still male fragrant with the liquid soap. I smile at myself in the mirror, brushing my hair with my fingers, trying to manage the unwashed strands. I open the bathroom door carefully, trying not to make too much noise and disturb the neighbors at this hour, when I see Jungkook again, this time only in a towel. I hold onto the doorframe, barely able to stand. A voice in my head tells me I shouldn't be watching him naked again and that I should turn around, go back into the bathroom, and pretend nothing happened, but I can't. I simply can't anymore. His muscular, wet back is in my field of vision as he searches for clothes. At that moment, my brain turns to mush and I decide to say what's been stuck in my throat.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" I muster the courage to ask him but I regret it immediately. What the hell am I doing? Jungkook turns slowly and the view from the front is a thousand times better than from the back. His whole body glistens in the light of the room, and his tattoos have never been so vivid. His body is muscular, virile and strong. I gonna lose my mind! Feeling new sensations I've never experienced for anyone before.
"Y/N?" He whispers my name with that soft voice he used when we first met. He doesn't seem surprised or embarrassed, which makes me even more unsettled.
"You're doing this on purpose, Jungkook?" I ask again. I have no idea where I got such courage and I don't know how long it will last. My heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest. My whole body is on edge and sweating. I feel my hands trembling as I swallow hard. "You're trying something? I mean... you're not wearing clothes again and..."
"What do you think, Y/N?" he retorts suddenly, with a hoarse, deep voice. His eyes wander from my head to toes, as he raises an eyebrow along with his piercing, with a smirk at the corner of his mouth. My legs turn to weak twigs immediately, ready to collapse.
"I-I don't know." I stammer as he takes one step, then two and three, getting closer and closer to me.
"When I arrived from my trip to Busan, on the first day, I was tired and exhausted," he tells me, taking another step. I start to run out of breath, anxious and aroused. My cheeks flush as he speaks more slowly. "All I wanted was to rest and sleep the whole night, but that night I couldn't, not for an hour. Do you know why?"
"N-no..." I moan softly as his chest presses against mine. His warm, wet skin makes contact with mine, and I no longer know where I begin or end, pressed against his body. His pink lips curl into a wicked smile, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to me and it's all intentional. I shiver as his free hand moves up my wrist and grips the back of my neck firmly, making my eyes focus on his mouth and then his dark, deep eyes.
"A woman, next window, taking off all her damn clothes, completely shameless," he growls, pulling my neck closer to his face and pressing his lips to my ear. My spine tingles as I feel his teeth on my earlobe, in a bite that doesn't hurt but damn, it makes me shiver. My body contracts once and twice, and I know exactly what I'm feeling now: desire. The kind I feel occasionally when I try to touch myself alone and can't reach climax. The feeling I only have when I'm alone and confortable in my bed, trying to use my imagination even with the lack of real experience, but this is real, and it is infinitely better than what my mind could create.
"It was an accident, Jung..." I try to say, but my voice doesn't come out. The tip of his nose travels along a sensitive spot behind my ear, one I didn't even know existed, slowly moving down my jawline, discovering new paths. His hand tightens around my waist, keeping me in place, immobile.
"It may be that you didn't notice, Y/N, but I know you were watching me, even while I was undressing, even when you had every opportunity to stop." He argues with a smile, as someone who knows what they're doing and enjoys seeing the result. "And you know what's worse...? The worst thing is knowing the effect you have on me. From the first time I saw you in my house, with your innocent and curious eyes. I can't get you out of my damn head. Your mouth, your scent..."
"J-Jungkook... please." I beg, closing my eyes tightly. And I know what I want. I want him, since the first time I saw him. Since my eyes met his, I desired him so strongly that I couldn't think straight. He pulls away just a little, and I almost moan in a plea for him not to go. He sighs, pressing his forehead to mine.
"Can I kiss you, Y/N?" he asks in a very soft voice, and I nod because, despite all the things I believe in–God, hell, heaven and even my mother–nothing has ever been as adored as Jungkook. Since I met him, inexplicably, I only think about him, like a spell unable to contemplate of any other answer besides yes. I look at his eyes as they travel to my mouth, and I lower mine to his, exhilarated by that pink that only exists in him.
I move closer, my lips almost touching his, feeling the warmth of his breath. "Just kiss me, please." I murmur scared of what I'm doing; temptation clear in every word. And then he does.
Ask for a TAGLIST in the comments.
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@ane102 @ttipa @joonwater
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cherie-doll · 9 hours
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Omg I realise I’m probably flooding your ask box Cherie, so sorry about that.
But gosh today nearly drove me nuts(in a bad way) and I went home and accidentally went back to binge eating by accident.
And so I thought “Hey, what if the COD men have a S/O who binges on food when they are stressed or angry and they don’t realise it until they feel quite unwell, on the edge of puking sort. And then they calm down and feel a bit guilty about ‘wasting’ unneeded food and calories. They’re also worried about putting on weight cuz in the past they did had to go through that process of being teased and went through a process to slim down and control their eating habits.”
Heavily projecting myself here ngl 😂😂😂 Of course, this might be uncomfy for you to write so all’s chill!
Thank again for writing and posting Cherie 💖 your social media presence is always so delightful
Never apologize for sending an ask, I love having my inbox flooded with asks!
𖧧̣̥ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach
Price
He has learned to pay attention to your behavior
You never ask him to buy it for you, you rummage through what's already in the house
It's addicting, and so easy to pop in another cookie, a couple more chips, a handful of m&m's... until the container is empty
Would pick you up in his strong arms when your body starts to feel the effects, whispering softly "oh, lovey" over and over again in your ear until the guilt is washed out and nothing else is stagnant in your mind but his touch and voice
Ghost
He's always been the observer, so he notices before you catch yourself doing it again
Did research when he was alone because it hurt him to see you crying in the bathroom afterwards, hearing your sniffles through the door
Once he found out that it wasn't the food but the behavior that was harmful he started working on tackling that next, with lots of patience and the guidance of a professional
Soap
He knows you likely won't stop until it's gone
And when you come to him, embarrassed of his reaction when he finds out how much food you've eaten only for him to comfort you
Broke it down for you and explained that even if you consumed a lot of calories it won't show overnight, he kept you focused on being easy on yourself
"You're resilient, I know you are. You can do this"
Gaz
When he noticed you being unusually quiet after a social event where foods of many different kinds had been served, he knew what had happened
It's easy to get overwhelmed, he understands you
Knows what foods and drinks will help
Made tea to make you feel better whilst you were lying in bed
"Tomorrow is a new day, and we'll take control of it"
Roach
It's a vicious cycle: going to sleep scared after another day of wallowing in shame, curling up in bed afraid of the next day being the same as the last; painful
The overwhelming emotions and inability to stare at your bare body in the mirror do not go away easily, yet he's always by your side
He makes it your focus on how you feel rather and how you look, and so every day he cooks for you to make sure you're eating and drinking plenty of water
He even accompanies you on your walks and says assures you everything will be fine
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Amica Endura
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Part 2 of the rewrites, Hopefully I can remake the magic. Word count:1.4K
Amica endura is a cybertronian word for one's only best friend. The person you stick with for years, and intend to stick by for years to come, and for bumblebee's case, It's y/n.
It's been nearly a year since that faithful day when you got him out of the dealership and you have proven yourself otherwise, he liked you a lot, and you were a perfect friend to him... But only a tiny problem... More than likely he needed permission from a prime, the prime being Optimus, but where was he ??
So late at night when you were asleep, he drove out and took the roads to hopefully find him, just a hint... anything... Soon after almost an hour of driving...
"Ca... ll... Au...ts" A signal was picked up, Bee froze in his place and began to adjust his signal to hopefully hear the message better.
"Calling all Autobots, If you can hear this, meet me at these coordinates" The prime's familiar voice flooded his ears !! Yippie !!!
And soon he sped his way to the location of the signal, oh god it's been ages !!
Optimus transformed at a nearby hill and tried to boost the signal range, Please hope his crew is alright... He looked down sadly before hearing the familiar rev of his faithful companion.
Bee whirred in excitement as he transformed and stumbled in front of him happily as he found him. "Oh captain, My captain !!" His radio scratched. "Glad... to... see you again"
Optimus looked down and gave a gentle nod, he was so goddamn happy. "Bee... good to see you too"
After a bit, Bee started to shift from side to side a little nervously "I can... say something ??" He finally said.
Optimus raised an optic brow. "Go on then" Fully turning to his comrade, giving him his full attention.
Bee stood there for a little bit before opening up his chest cavity to reveal his spark, Optimus looked down at him, and a moment passed before he seemed to understand. "Who is it ??"
He started to grow more nervous, oh god this was it. "Human..."
Optimus blinked again. "A human... You've been mingling with humans" He said firmly, he was only worried.
Bee nodded
"Impossible, It won't be happening" Optimus looked out into the open. Immediately abrasive of the idea.
"They are my friends..." Bee whirred angrily, kicking the ground before going on a rant. "They didn't... See me... as... junk... they helped... me find... my voice !!"
"No... we cannot trust them, the humans will protect what is there's, we can only trust our own kind"
Bee gave him the softest eyes. Now come on, who can't say no to them !! "They... mean a lot"
Optimus looked back out into the open after a while. "If they mean so much, bring them here"
He beeped softly, but you were at work tomorrow, he can't just say before you leave.
But before he could say, Optimus picked up another signal from a familiar rev head. Be beeped again, he has an idea. "Let's go to the mall..."
The next night, you were leaving work and making your way to the bus station, But you didn't make it until a car started to rev in front of you. But the fear slowly dissipated once you realized what car it was
"Porsche 911 Carrera" You looked around it, holy flipping cow... you then noticed on the steering wheel a familiar logo that Bee also had on his steering wheel, was it... one of them ??
The car revved again, clicking open the door. You frowned, So hesitantly you hopped in, knowing that is what it's likely asking... the car feels nice... And before you knew it, the door slammed shut, the engine roared and sped off down the road.
"Woah Woah WOAH !!" You held on for dear life.
The car revved again and went faster just to tease you a little bit, it wasn't long before the police got involved from all the stunt's its been performing.
"Pull over !!" One officer managed to get next to you.
"I'M NOT DRIVING !!" You screamed out.
They flicked the lights on and tried to speed up, but not on this autobot's watch, he has a few tricks up his sleeve.
He swirled around and started to drive in reverse, first blinding the cop and soon rearranging with you safely in back to front. The cherry on top was then he started to make clones of himself and you, You looked to your left to see a clone of you flipping off the cop, and on the right, the clone of you gave a thumbs up.
The car swerved onto an offramp while the cop was distracted, making him crash into a guard division, You were getting to your final destination, speeding off into an abandoned warehouse.
"Yo yo yo slow down !!"
The car skidded along the ground, flinging you out as gently as it could, and soon beginning to transform.
"Woohoo !! That felt good !! Get some oil pumping you know ?? Damn. I've been cooped up forever dude, I can't tell you how old it gets. 'Mirage, stay hidden. Mirage, don't draw any attention to yourself. Mirage, Big is just a movie, you'll never be a real boy.' But that was fun man, your fun dude"
You were just rushing off from the adrenaline, looking up at him with slight fear.
"Oh right, this is probably a lot for you huh ??" He smiled softly as he kneeled to your height.
You scrambled up and grabbed a nearby pole, ready to defend yourself. "Back up !!'
"Hey woah woah, what's with the aggression. I thought after the car chase we were cool ??"
"What are you, some kind of possessed car ??"
"Nah, that's not real man, I'm an alien"
"Like... Like ET ??" Now where did that come from.
"ET !! The little ugly guy in the basket ?? Look at this face !!" He pointed to his adorable face before then holding out a fist for you. "The name mirage !!
You were a little hesitant.
"Come on, give me a little... give me a little... give me a little tap... give me a little tap..."
You then hesitantly fist bumped him.
"There ya go now were friends !!"
Soon you heard more revving, one light and one super heavy.
"Oh great the gang's here"
You looked behind and saw Bee driving in and transforming, Then soon back at the front, you saw a truck driving in and transforming, this one was super tall than Mirage and Bee !!
Bee quickly jumped in between you and Optimus, He knew Optimus meant well, but go easy on them ok !! Optimus stopped to look at both of you before then picking you up and getting a closer look.
"Who... Who are you ??" You frowned.
"I am Optimus prime" He looked at you firmly.
"Bee... what's going on ??"
Bee whirred softly as Optimus continued. "Who are you... Y/n"
'I... I'm just a normal kid... I found Bee in the car shop alright... I ain't even seen nothing I don't even know nothing" You closed your eyes and looked away.
Optimus looked at you firmly before you noticed his optics softened, Out of a sort of apology, before he then gently placed you back down. He still felt like he couldn't trust humans... But he is open to seeing where this will go, if this is what bee wants, he won't stop him.
"Bee ??" You looked over at him.
He whirred softly, putting his focus on you and kneeling down, Unlatching his chest cavity. "Y/n- my best... friend. Most... Important friend"
Your eyes softened when you looked at his spark, It was so bright.
Bee gave you the softest look. "I want... to be your friend- forever" Soon closing his chest cavity, you looked over at the other two.
"What happened ??"
"Dude... He just offered you ultimate friendship" Mirage chimed in, still amazed by the sight.
Optimus nodded to him and you. "Amica endura, The strongest form of friendship that a cybertronian can ever offer. An eternal oath" He explained to you.
"It's never been done with a human before, so consider yourself the first" Mirage chimed again.
Bee looked at you softly, whirring in hope.
You smiled up at him. "Your my best friend bee"
He Beeped happily before scooping you up and holding you close.
Optimus didn't say anything, He didn't feel it was his place, just watching... But he couldn't help but twitch a small small.
Be nuzzled your cheek as you held him close as well. His spark pulsing warmth against his chest, His radio scratched... "I'll love you till the day that I die"
Taglist: @callofdudes
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runabout-river · 2 days
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No matter what Gege does with Gojo, I don’t think it will be satisfying for me
I considered every option for what could possibly happen with Gojo, regardless of how likely I think they are, and I genuinely can't find myself considering any of them a satisfying conclusion.
**1. He is dead and no one will mention him in the last chapter.**
Hate this. So much. Random civilians in Shibuya were shown respect by Yuji in the middle of chaos and panic, but nobody has ANYTHING nice to say about Gojo?? Since the fight ended, we got Kusakabe saying he is at fault for not killing Yuji and Shoko calling him an idiot (endearingly) for not destroying Geto's body. Lovely.
**2. He is dead and somebody will say something or we will be shown a grave.**
Better but still bad. I feel like the ship has sailed at this point. They had a chance while reflecting on the fight and we got nothing. Megumi and Shoko were at Tsumiki's grave and... we got nothing. I think it's pretty safe to say no one will be mourning him in the last chapter, they're already going on missions after all. And a simple mention feels incredibly cold and empty.
**3. He is dead but will come back to life due to his soul still not departing and sacrificing one of the Six Eyes in a binding vow.**
I won't comment on how possible or not this is because Yuta managed to return to his body simply by being in proximity of Rika. If Gege wants to write it, he can. However, we are talking about the last chapter of the manga and this would absolutely take away the spotlight from Yuji. Not to mention that this route needs groundwork that I don't think 19 pages can provide for. ALSO, this still doesn't explain why nobody is sad or willing to acknowledge him because, to them, he is dead.
**4. He is actually alive and that's why nobody has been shown to be sad about him.**
Would make sense in terms of characters like Yuji and Yuta not showing any emotion towards him. But this isn't like Nobara's situation. Like I said, it needs build up. A character like Gojo should be shown making his choice, not just appearing out of nowhere. It would add absolutely nothing to his arc and would honestly be pure fanservice.
**5. The dream theory.**
I don’t know how much you've heard about this but there is a theory going around that these last chapters or more have all been a dream. I won't do any analysis on the validity of it because this isn't important to my point. "Who's dream?" is the actual question here.
**a) It is Yuji's dream.**
You want to tell me somebody as kind and compassionate as Yuji has no place for his teacher in his dream of a happier tomorrow? Get out of here.
**b) It is a collective dreamlike state, a product of Sukuna's activation of the Merger despite the rules imposed on it.**
Again, nobody, not a single soul, has it in their heart to include Gojo in their dream? In any way other than criticizing him? It would go against all the care Yuji and Yuta have shown for him and be a genuinely awful characterization. It would show he was actually not loved at all, something we know isn't true.
**c) It is Gojo's dream.**
So, Gojo is dreaming of a world where his body is used as a weapon, his students don't care enough to even mention his name and life goes on as if he never existed? He can imagine himself being blamed but not having a place in his ideal future? Do you want me to kill myself?
I would really like to hear opinions or other options if you have any. Right now, this is all just sad.
*Cracks Knuckles*
First of all, I have read the dream theory and I believe it's possible but for now we take the last chapters at face value.
Yes, the lack of any mourning for Gojo (and Choso) is sad and a sour note at the end of the manga. We already had this lack of regard for his death during the Shinjuku fights. There I could understand though how the characters pushed all their feelings to the side once Gojo had been defeated.
They needed to act fast and steadfast, so we got most of their concern and other emotions while Gojo was still fighting.
Now though there is no excuse anymore. JJK had alwasy been a little loose when it came to the slower and reflective moments but Gege had the space the previous chapter to fill it with somehting meaningful. Instead we got an unnecessary explanation of the New Shadow Style school system that's just plain unimportant three chapters before the end.
So in that regard, yes, Gege fumbled it. Even in the driest part of Gojo's death, there still should've been an earth-shattering shake up of the status quo the same way his birth had changed the jujutsu world. But that was also lacking because chapter 270 basically erased all conflict in the story.
So what will happen now?
Your option 1) hate it, too :D
Option 2) nothing to add. Perfectly said how Gojo should've already been talked about instead of letting it go to the last chapter where he most likely won't get centre stage.
Now to Option 3/4) First, the last chapter will be longer than 19 pages. It was either double or tripple the length of a normal chapter so there is more time to flesh the last things out. Second, I have my own theory on how Yuta using Kenjaku's CT on Gojo's body and then getting ejected from it, might've have permanently revived Gojo.
I don't like Gojo being just alive though because that would be anticlimatic and detrimental to the high stakes and emotions that came before. It would be just one more thing in this super happy ending everyone got (except Choso). What could work though is Gojo's body being alive but in a vegetatitve state. Then it would be open ended how his story would go on.
Now the thing about the dream theory is: Yuji only imagines the good things. That's why characters where their death was ambiguous are all alive and only those who had been 100% confirmed dead are dead. With Yuji doing the dreaming, he would push negative feelings about death away and mourning is one such feeling and he had done exactly that previously as well.
If this theory comes true, Yuji would be mourning way more than just Gojo's death at the end. He would also be mourning the good end he envisioned for everyone. And that's sad but also... what I would prefer in contrast with this sugar cloud of a happy ending.
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dangerously-human · 2 days
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I hate this. I am hungry, I know that. I barely ate all day yesterday at the Ren Faire, so I actually even felt hungry for the first time in a while today, and was thinking the whole drive home from church how nice that was and mentally going through my fridge and cabinets for things I could actually manage to eat. And then I actually get home and look at that food and it makes me gag. Of course it's nice to not feel hungry all the time and have it easy to keep up with more reasonable portions. But I don't like that the trade is apparently never feeling hungry and feeling sick when I eat even very small portions. I know this won't last forever, it's only been three weeks, and as my body adjusts to this medication, I'll reestablish a better relationship with food. I know that if this actually works for my ADHD, it is worth the trade even if I never did find a balanced appetite. (After all, with proper executive functioning, I could totally plan and keep up with meals even without the desire to eat.) I also know that even though it's been hard to eat, I am still getting technically enough food most days. But I'm still crying about it being hard today. It's a very stupid thing to be upset about but I think I'm allowed.
(I suppose it's also worth acknowledging that I'm pretty sure the tears are spillover from something else, my failed attempt at lunch just happened to be the final catalyst. I don't know what my problem is at present but somehow my heart was broken by the time I left church today.)
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deceiver-of-god · 2 days
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Sometimes I think that SzPD doesn't affect my life much. It's not that bad, right? But then I let my friendships die. I avoid developing bonds with people I might end up really liking. I never share my feelings with anyone, because what does it matter? They'll be gone in ten minutes at most. I avoid people. It is so draining that, now that I have finished my degree, I do not consider myself capable of doing the job I have always wanted, because it involves too much emotional burden and constant interactions. It's too much. It makes me happy, and at the same time it destroys my mind. It makes me feel so miserable, to let this happen, and yet I don't have enough motivation to put effort into it... But it doesn't matter. I know I won't try to get better. I will just think about acting, and I will never act for real.
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transmechanicus · 5 months
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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.
#my stuff#i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks#like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy#hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control#can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone#so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks#im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better#i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up#cause i can see that happening#i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something#and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you#i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.
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kyojuuros · 17 days
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knowing communication is vital to a healthy relationship but never knowing how to start a conversation or holding back because you don't want to burden them with your emotions or say/do something that will push them away and just generally being socially inadept is such a fun time! :)
#i was so content being single why did i sign up for this again?#i like this person so much and i'm already so attached#and they've reassured me that they want to be with me also#but things are going so fucking slow and i think right now they have to#because of their mental state and things they are just trying to figure out about themselves and what they want#and i just want to be there for them through it and help them sort things out#but i guess some of the issue is they are mourning a relationship that they wanted but that didn't get to happen#but that apparently after we basically established yeah let's be a thing the other person reached in hopes they could meet each other#which like they told me it's more an issue now of letting the other person down easy and let them know they found a person to be with#but i'm just not coping with this knowledge very well at all#despite the reassurance from them that i'm the one they wanna be with#and i think i'm struggling because i'm probably jealous because they are friends and have been for years#and i don't want to be jealous i just wanna be chill about it#like i'm not going to be the person who makes them feel like they can't maintain their long term friendships#i won't be that person#but it makes me feel insecure like i'm competing against someone i don't even know#and i worry they're going to realize i just fucking suck and decide that to leave me to try something with that person instead#but i don't know how to even start a conversation or convey these feelings to them without fearing it's going to start some bullshit#that i don't want tainting the relationship#even outside of that like#i wanna know so many things about them but i don't even know where to start or if i can just ask them questions#everything scares me relationships are scary#i'm so fucking scared of being hurt again#ugh#personal#sorry i just needed to dump this somewhere because i've been bottling it up for a fucking week now#it did not make me feel better but at least i got the words out
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longagoitwastuesday · 1 month
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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chatdae · 22 days
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Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.
And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!
(this is about The Boys season four)
#ryan butcher#the boys#How much does Ryan know about his dad's upbringing?#Because he's right... Grace trapping him would've been like Vought and young Homelander... AAAGH#I hate it!!! When the heroes are genuinely more moral than the villains#but they make the same fatal mistakes and doom their cause in the process!!#AAA!!! GRACE!!!!#I don't hate her. I think she was dead wrong but I do not despise her. I know she meant it from the bottom of her heart--#--when she said she loves him.#But as she said it I couldn't help but imagine Barbara saying that to young John in the exact same way...#Grace may not have wanted to be like that but her actions would've had the same effect.#It hurts because I know so much where she's coming from#but it's just dead true that they can't reach a happy ending by treating someone so inhumanely.#Anyway. I hurt#Homelander is EVIL and THE BAD GUY#and this is not mutually exclusive with the fact that HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TREATED LIKE THAT (how Vought raised him)#And it HURTS because the protagonists who were able to get to Ryan understood the first part (Homelander evil)#but not the second!!!! (His upbringing was a moral abomination)#It hurty it hurty because I WANT Ryan to heal...I want SOME kind of closure to what happened to the kid Homelander once was...#Ryan and his dad (insofar as he is Ryan's dad) had the potential to get to that place Hughie described...that place of forgiveness#where it's not win all vs lose all.... where it's confronting hell and making something good out of it...#Homelander was corrupting the trust he and Ryan were building by traumatizing Ryan and pushing him to do evil things....#..but god...GODDD....Hughie was SO RIGHT in his speech... what he and Victoria had is the answer. That's the answer!!!#And there was a MERE GLIMMER of a chance that Ryan and Homelander could enact that healing#And damn!! After the name of the game being 'kill Homelander' for the other three seasons#seeing the answer be 'violence only exacerbates suffering.. let's make things better instead' .... It would've been so amazing...#ah! Too good to be true!!!!#Butcher saying 'If where you feel safest is with Homelander then I won't stop you' HIT SO HARD#knowing that Ryan has felt so afraid....#they made it about the relationship between a child and their abusive parent and uh BIG SURPRISE it's breaking me
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corfisers · 10 months
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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