#I know this is an absolutely gratuitous and superfluous personal post but I am so glad I went outside

[mjn-air]

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[bjpb8]

I have avoided this post like the plague. I cannot wait any longer after seeing the news. Posted below. Do not say that is the Uk, it can be us quickly I have had a couple days off, which is a blessing as well as a curse...I think too much. How this year has been so very tough on so many people. I think also how at times we have risen to the occasion and at times we have been our own worst enemy. Some not recognizing or accepting there is an enemy at our doors. The enemy, out there, that can be contained if we all do our part. I work in the midst of that enemy.

I am so, so tired in so many ways I don't know where to begin. I am also afraid once I start I won't stop. Covid numbers are climbing another unit turned into Covid to handle the influx. The ICU bursting at the seams and only death is making room. Unfortunately I was on a 4 day - 12 hour stretch, that stretches my patience. Because not only do I have to deal with short staffing, an excess of emotions surrounding those dying because of Covid, but also those who have trama inflicted upon them and loose half their family unit in a senseless situation.

I fear people think it is easy, easy peazy, just open another Covid ICU or unit, just add more staff. The architecture/real-estate, we have lots of it. However, staff do not grow on trees nor are they stored under my desk till needed. They are tired, burnt out, frustrated and angry, can't blame them. I am feeling like I am back in April. We push staff until they break...and we are made of sturdy stock. You have to be, this career choice is not for the faint of heart. Do I regret my choice of careers? Absolutely NOT. I would not be around as long as I have.. I am really trying not to preach, just share the experience. I don't want sympathy, tears, a pat on the back. (Ok hear it goes, sorry, not sorry). While this is not my style...ask anyone here...

-PEOPLE WEAR YOUR F**KING MASKS.

-STAY SIX F**KING FEET AWAY.

-WASH YOUR F**KING HANDS.

-better yet STAY THE F**K HOME.

Did the message get through? Does it truly take this kind of sentiment, language to get the point across. Please, please, please help me to stop cursing, my stress levels are high enough...not in my nature. If you have a job...fine... follow the rules. Is your life really worth risking or better yet your loved one(s) for an in person holiday feast, toast at New Years, a holiday party?

Just in case you missed the headline not to long ago7 people died from a wedding they didn't attend. 17 who did attend tested positive. In case you are not getting this... CDC, state, counties track back to the source to understand, document, educate all on what is happening, as well as perhaps save someone's life. It is happening because people cannot follow four simple rules. Better yet I'll stay home and you can do my job. I trained for 6 years. Yes, I have a masters degree, I know of what I speak...are you willing to give your time and energy to accomplish said goals? I don't step on your toes to accomplish my life's mission, practice, goals... please do not step on mine.

Power, control, some think that is what this is about. If I hear one more person say that I am going to rip their F**KING tonsils (I know Patrick Swayze did it better) out of their throat. You think it is easy to spout a different repatoir, sing a different tune, huuummm a different melody because you are going flat. Try to dictate your harmony so it doesn't screech, because it is hurting my ears. I love music, it is my solice...I need a different tune...please.

Let me make this perfectly clear... stop scape goating. Because this is in no way shape or form about any one person. This is about those who think this about another person. Far from it. There is only one way this happens...it is sanctioned or condoned by people who do not care as it is the agenda that must be accomplished...I count more than the whole. EVERYONE wears the blame that thinks/believes they are above it all. It takes just one to say let's not go against the rules, they are important to me as part of the human race, the brotherhood, sisterhood. Too much? I'll bite do what is necessary and you will not see me spew again after Christmas...New Years. I will be able to see people smile again when I pass them by, acknowledge them, comfort them with expressions, show my anger when necessary. This is one time I will not give in, back down or negotiate because I want to live my best life again, without a mask. Waiting for the cure...the vaccine to get to the masses. What is clear, before the cure/vaccines many lives will be lost for foolish gains.

These are not whims of a governmental politician for power and control. It is recommendations by one of the most respected agency of our government, the CDC. So get over yourself and be an advocate for doing right. It might just save your life. Tired, angry is not the half of it... suffering losses that are unneeded, useless, gratuitous, superfluous and quite frankly avoidable is breaking me physically, my heart, as well as my spirit. I am begging for relief. It is the only way this ends, beginning with each and every one of us. Please...follow CDC's four simple guidelines;

-wash hands

-wear the right mask

-stay 6 feet apart, social distancing

-stay home...that means unless/also you have been tested and quarantined yourself for 14 days, as well as every one else at your Holiday party, you are living on borrowed time.

PLEASE! And Thank You!