#I know there's a twist coming and I can see several possibilities and am curious as hell

[theharrowing]

I FEEL THE NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT SO MANY THINGS!!!!!!!!

i am going to try to make this message as spoiler free as possible, I swear.

FIRST: You are such!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You!!!!!!!! are a sneaky little!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! I am so much at a loss for words. I thought this entire time that it was Jin who was the worst character of this fic but YOONGI?!?!?!?!?! It's not even a surprise given he stole mc to take as collateral, and you have been giving hints that there is more to that situation than meets the eye but OH MY GOD???????????????????? The way you distract the reader is honestly masterful and I feel like more people need to take a page from your book because the twists aren't even twists, like nothing you have done has been perfectly hidden, you hint at and dangle so many things and yet it is still SHOCKING. I feel like everything I have known has been a lie but also not because clearly Yoongi's feelings are extremely mixed up and complicated.

I also want to say that the way you mix in his habits and thoughts that hint toward addiction is so well done as well. Like, the stress he feels is so heavy and palpable and in the last several chapters as he has been distant and too tired to deal with someone being in his private room, I was curious about what the fuck could be the matter with him, and even though it is not spelled out completely, this POV has made so many things make sense. I actually have the urge to go back about halfway and find if there are things maybe that I didn't catch while reading the first time.

SECONDLY: THE FINAL TWO WORDS, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that the way it will be revealed to mc is going to be such a moment and I am so worried for her heart because I legitimately gasped and almost dropped my phone on my fucking face. That, or it will be handled with no grace at all because shit feels like it is about to hit the fucking fan and I just can not even imagine what in the fuck is about to happen.

THIRDLY: So many things about Yoongi's past. SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO ASK ABOUT BUT HONESTLY I don't think you have introduced anything in this POV that will be ignored later, so I am going to hold onto my questions for now.

FOR NOW. THIS IS A THREAT.

Thank you OH MY GOD this POV had me feeling so heavy hearted but also empty on the inside. It was so unsettling in the way Yoongi feels and thinks, and it makes so many of his actions clearer but at the same time I am like fuck, maybe it was better that I didn't know. He is such a fucking DARK character and I am kind of worried for what comes next.

Is the opening scene to chapter 23 going to be the same as the opening scene to the would-be sequel? I have so many thoughts on what could happen and I know you are going to blow us away.

ANON HELLO WOW!!! 😍😍😍

i feel like everything you have said is spoiler-free enough that i am going to respond seconds after seeing this notif because i am so over the moon by how kind you are!!! thank you so much for this message haha i love to be screamed at over my characters.

tbh, i was going to make this pov a lot lighter and more ... idk, reminiscing of their past in a way that informs mc of who they are as people, but i was so bored while writing it that i changed my mind lmao. i might have to urge people to weasel that info out of Yoongi/the characters via character asks, instead. 😂😅😅

i will respond in detail under a cut since it may be less spoiler-free, and probably long-winded!

FIRST: yeahhhh, i have been deceiving you quite a bit on purpose. but not entirely. don't let Seokjin off the hook so easily!!! he did some shady things in the process of getting mc out, and there are things (like her phone!!!) that he has not told Yoongi about. i do love to dangle and distract, tho! you are correct! that is my ninja way!!!

mixing in his habits is something i did more and more each time i proofread. originally, this pov was just barely over 6k, and i was struggling with wanting to add more but not wanting to force anything into it, so i ended up really dragging out some of the details and his thoughts, to the point of obsession almost at times, to show how much he was really spiraling. i am glad that it all translated because i didn't want to be too heavy-handed on the addiction stuff, since i know some readers have struggled with that in their lives.

if you do go back and find anything that strikes you as something worth bringing up, i would love to know!

SECONDLY: AHHH!!! i have been so eager to reveal that to the reader, and since not a lot of people read the pov chapters compared to those who read the others, it is kind of a special moment that you will not be sharing with everyone. the reveal that comes in the main fic........................................i already have it written lmao. i wrote it last april while watching the Haegeum video, and it will be the same opening as that which i was going to open Reconciliation with, maybe just beefed up a little. my writing style has probably changed a little since then. it might be impactful and it might be something that we cannot even hang on before action happens. you'll seeeee.

"handled with no grace at all" made me laugh tho bc yeah, you understand me. you are fully aware of what i am capable of and it feels nice to be seen.

THIRDLY: everything that was mentioned should come up in future chapters, but in the event that i miss anything, the character asks will be open long after i finish the fic, so ask away!!!

Yoongi is definitely a character with a lot of darkness, and he is breaking apart at the seams. how will this all end for him??? only time will tell. hopefully not too much more time bc wow i love this fic but i am eager to finish it!!! lmaooooo. the heavy/empty feeling is one of my all time favs and i am so thrilled that it comes across in this chapter.

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOR COMING OVER HERE TO YELL AT ME!!! it means the world to me. please have some water and get a good night's sleep and i hope to hear from you again!!! 💜💜💜

[thedisneychef]

How to Create Recipes: The Art and Science of Crafting Dishes

As a foodie, I am always curious about the process of creating delicious recipes. How do chefs come up with these masterpieces? Is there an art to it or is it just a matter of trial and error? In this article, we’ll be exploring how exactly recipes are created – from the brainstorming stages all the way through to publishing them in cookbooks. We will look at why some recipes become timeless classics while others fade into obscurity. We’ll also discuss what makes for a successful recipe and learn tips for coming up with creative ideas that stand out from the crowd. If you’re ready to get cooking, let's jump right in! Brainstorming Ideas I love creating recipes. I start by brainstorming ideas for ingredients and flavor combinations, gathering the necessary items from my pantry or local grocery store. Then, it's time to get cooking! Once I have all of my ingredients together, I experiment with different ways to combine them in order to create something tasty. This process can involve a lot of trial and error, but it's worth it when you come up with an amazing dish! After I've created the recipe, I like to share it with friends and family so that they can give me feedback on how it turned out. That way, I know what changes need to be made before publishing the final version online. Creating recipes is such an enjoyable experience because of all of the creative possibilities that it involves. It takes patience and practice, but with enough effort anyone can become a master chef! Testing And Refining Creating recipes is a fun and creative process that often involves testing different combinations of ingredients to see what works best. I usually start by tasting the individual components, like herbs and spices, seasonings or sauces. Then I mix them together to create new flavor profiles. Once I'm happy with the combination of flavors, it's time to experiment with ingredient substitutions. It can be tricky trying out different ingredients in a recipe without compromising its taste or texture. But when you find something that works, it makes all the hard work worthwhile! After making adjustments for any dietary restrictions or preferences, my final recipe is ready for use. Balancing Flavors Creating recipes is all about finding the right balance of flavors. Experienced cooks and chefs know that flavor combinations are key to successful dishes, so they pay careful attention when creating recipes. They often experiment with different ingredients, seasonings, and methods until something works. I like to focus on seasonal ingredients for my recipes because it gives them a unique twist. Working with what’s in-season can help you create interesting flavor combinations you might not have thought of otherwise. When building out the foundation of a recipe, I start by making sure I have several components: saltiness, sweetness, acidity, and umami (savory richness). From there, I look at how those four elements interact together and adjust as needed until everything comes together in perfect harmony. It's important to keep an open mind while exploring various combinations - some unexpected pairings may surprise you! To ensure success every time I cook or bake something new, I taste each ingredient before adding it into the dish. This way if someone were to ask me why certain flavors work well together in a particular recipe, I'd be able to answer accurately based on personal experience instead of just guessing. No matter what type of food you're working with – from savory entrées to sweet desserts – understanding the basics of balancing flavors will help take your cooking game up a notch! Presenting The Recipe I'm excited to discuss the process of creating a recipe - it's a great way to get creative in the kitchen! First, let's talk about organizing ingredients. What are the best ways to make sure you have all the necessary components before you start cooking? Then, let's discuss techniques - which methods work best to make sure your dish turns out perfectly? I'm sure we can come up with some great tips! Organizing Ingredients I'm sure you've all felt the dread of having to pull together ingredients for a recipe. It's overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be! With some simple tips and tricks, ingredient sourcing can be made easier and more efficient. First, when measuring out your ingredients, try using measuring cups or spoons that are uniform in size. This will help ensure accuracy with your measurements so everything comes out perfectly each time! Additionally, use a scale if possible - this is especially important if you need precise measurements like baking recipes often require. And lastly, make sure to get the freshest ingredients possible. If they're coming from a store, check the expiration dates before buying them! With these easy strategies in mind, organizing your ingredients has never been simpler. So now you know how to sort through what needs to go into each dish without any hassle or stress – happy cooking everyone! Explaining Techniques Now that you've got your ingredients sorted out, it's time to explain how they should be used in a recipe! One key technique is ingredient selection, which essentially involves choosing the right items for the specific dish. For example, if you're making a soup and want it to have a creamy texture, then you'll need to choose an appropriate type of cream or milk. Additionally, menu pairing is another useful method when presenting the recipe. This is simply deciding what other components will work best with the main ingredients and creating a cohesive meal plan. Of course, there are many more techniques that can help make recipes even more delicious than before – so get creative and start experimenting! With these strategies under your belt, cooking up something special has never been easier. Perfecting The Final Product The first step of perfecting the final product is to take those drafting notes and turn them into something tangible. I'm talking about taking all that planning, brainstorming, and imagining and transforming it into a real dish or menu item. This is where culinary techniques come in; depending on what kind of recipe you are creating, there may be certain skills needed to create your masterpiece. For example, if you were making an Italian dish like lasagna, then you'd need to know how to make pasta from scratch as well as how to layer the noodles with other ingredients such as cheese, tomato sauce and vegetables. Or perhaps you want to bake something special for someone's birthday? Then knowledge of baking basics such as preheating the oven correctly, measuring out ingredients accurately, using appropriate pans or molds would be important steps in achieving success. Once you have familiarized yourself with the necessary skill set for completing your recipe successfully, it should just be a matter of following instructions carefully and paying attention to details. It helps immensely when tasting along the way so that adjustments can be made promptly if needed before the dish reaches its final stage. As long as one keeps their focus and has patience throughout this process, they will eventually reach desired results. Frequently Asked Questions What Are The Best Ingredients To Use In A Recipe? Selecting the best ingredients for a recipe can be tricky. It's important to create flavor pairings and balance them with other ingredients. Experiment with different combinations and keep trying new things – you may find your own signature flavors! Pay attention to how each ingredient interacts with others, as this could make or break a dish. Don't forget to think outside of the box, too - try unexpected combinations that might surprise you! How Can I Make A Recipe Healthier? Making a recipe healthier doesn't have to take up too much of your time. You can easily substitute alternative ingredients for classic ones that may be higher in calories or fat, like swapping out heavy cream for low-fat yogurt or even using zucchini noodles instead of traditional pasta. Additionally, you can reduce the amounts of sugar and salt used in any recipe, which will make it all the more tasty and nutritious. With just a few simple changes, you can create healthy recipes without compromising on flavor! What Is The Most Important Part Of Creating A Recipe? Creating a successful recipe is all about finding the right balance of flavors and making sure they work well together. Taste testing should be at the top of your list when it comes to creating recipes - you'll want to make sure that not only do the ingredients taste good on their own, but also in combination with each other. Flavor pairing is key; experiment by combining different ingredient profiles and adjusting amounts as needed until you get just the flavor profile you're looking for! What Type Of Kitchen Equipment Do I Need To Create A Recipe? If you want to create a recipe, there are certain pieces of kitchen equipment that will be essential. From analyzing flavors and researching techniques, having the right tools for the job is key. A good set of kitchen knives, measuring spoons and cups, mixing bowls, cutting boards, an oven thermometer and even a food processor can help take your recipes from great to amazing! Aspiring chefs should also consider investing in other items like blenders or sous vide machines depending on what type of cuisine they plan to tackle. With the right equipment in place, creating delicious recipes is within reach! How Can I Make Sure My Recipes Are Well-Liked By Others? Creating recipes that are well-liked by others is all about making sure you get the flavor combinations just right. To do this, it's important to experiment with different ingredients and test out a few methods before settling on one. Additionally, think about how these flavors may work together in new ways or consider using unusual combinations of spices to give your recipe an extra kick. Ultimately, testing different versions is key to knowing what works best! Conclusion When it comes to creating recipes, there are so many possibilities. It’s important to find the right ingredients that work well together and create a dish that is both delicious and healthy. I also suggest having quality kitchen equipment to use in order to ensure your recipe turns out perfectly every time. Lastly, don't be afraid of trial and error - After all, practice makes perfect! Creating recipes can be incredibly rewarding; not only will you have something tasty to eat but you can take pride in knowing that you created something from scratch. With some patience and careful consideration of the ingredients used, anyone can become an expert chef in their own kitchen. Read the full article

[imaginarycircus]

random, late night, probably incoherent thoughts on S2 of The Good Place, though we’ve only seen up to Ep. 8 (snipped for length, unless you’re on mobile. In which case I hang my head in shame and say, “mea culpa.”

Let’s talk about Kierkegaard, friends. Because I love me some Kierkegaard. Hear me out. He’s funny.  No. For real. I almost got kicked out of the public library in Santa Fe for reading Kierkegaard and laughing too much. He’s a cross between someone’s devoutly Catholic grandparent and a random dude you meet in a bar who’s oddly charming, but you can’t tell if he’s drunk or just weird.

Ep. 8 of The Good Place is “Leap into Faith.” To sum up “Fear and Trembling” rather badly--Kierkegaard says it might be easier to have faith in Christ if you were right there listening to him when he was alive way back when, except that idea scares the crap out of him. He says he would literally fall on his face in fear and trembling if he knew Jesus was walking around and he could bump into him at ye olde timey hardware store. But in his own time, Kierkegaard chooses to be a Knight of Faith--to leap into faith. You have to make that choice as a person who is living not when Jesus was tearing shit up and flipping tables. It means more--to choose faith in something you can’t prove or see. He’s not talking about buying the party line or unexamined piety. He considers it an ethical act because you are choosing to be a better person, to model your life and actions on a better person than you will ever be. Personal responsibility is basically all you really have to work with so educate yourself, work at being a good person. (I removed a long tangent about Aristotle. You’re welcome.)

This is part of the utter genius of this show. An alleged demon who is supposed to be torturing four human souls asks them to have blind faith in him when they have little reason to and are putting their own safety and futures at risk. It’s the reverse of God asking you to have faith in Him, but at the same time it isn’t. Look it’s late and I am fired up about ETHICAL PHILOSOPHY, but faith is faith. Faith in a friend and faith in God all come from the same place of trust. If God is truly the redeemer then that God could certainly rehabilitate demons IF they wanted to be rehabilitated. That God could work through demons. Don’t spoil me. I don’t know where this is headed yet, but I can’t stop thinking about Dante. (Yes. It’s a wasteland of jumbled Classics in my head all the time.)

And the show is clearly not advocating for a Christian Heaven/Hell scenario. It’s more ecumenical by far so the focus on philosophy rather than religious texts is clever.

Our characters were told they were in The Good Place in S1. Then they decided it was really the Bad Place and that was confirmed by Michael and others. But they’re on a journey and I can’t stop thinking about The Purgatorio. I’m not saying I see elements of Dante in this show at all. Just that I keep coming back to it in my thoughts. It’s the middle book of The Divine Comedy and it gets glossed over, or ignored. Everyone loves The Inerno. I’m not sure that many people read The Paradiso, nevermind the Purgatorio. It’s actually my fave of the trilogy, but I’ve established that I am a weirdo. The Purgatory is full of (dead) people who have a chance to get into the Paradiso some day. It’s a place that’s better than the Inferno, but is hard because of the work you have to do to purge off whatever is keeping you out of Paradise. Either things happened to them in their lives that kept them from living lives virtuous enough to give them the golden ticket to paradise, or they made some bad choices.

(There’s some poor woman who tried to be a nun, but her creepy family married her off instead and so she’s stuck in Purgatory for that. I’m still all WTAF about that one. eta: I might be misremembering and she might be in the Paradise, but like in one of the outer rings. Basically The Staten Island of Heaven) (Idk what this even is. A paragraph full of parenthetical tangents?) (Anyway--the characters tell Dante that If they can work through their bullshit and literally purge the bad stuff away they can get to paradise. It also helps if people who are still alive are praying for them. (According to Dante. Not according to me. I’m a heathen and I would ideally end up sitting around the mouth of Hell watching Socrates try to flirt with everyone and Aristotle ignoring people and organizing seashells in new taxonomic systems, which is how he spent his honeymoon. Only a slightly better honeymoon than William James’s. He wrote “Psychology, The Briefer Course” a 700 page book arguing that psychology needs grounding in chemistry and science on his tour of Europe with his new wife. Yes, I digress. My life is one long digression. I digress therefore I am, Descartes.)

In the show I am supposed to be talking about here--we have 1 apparent demon and 4 human souls all trying to improve morally. If that doesn’t say Puragtory, I don’t know what does. Although it’s way convenient that the Good Place leaves their Janets around and they’re not like a way to infiltrate and change things. She seems like a sleeper agent to me, but Janet is developing emotion and learning in the way you’d kind of hope AI might in a best case scenario. Except AI is made by people. Janet’s knowledge is limited and also boundless, which is interesting. Humans are highly limited by our small hard drives and small RAM, and yet they are unbounded in other areas. They can freely imagine and interpret.

I have like 100 thoughts bouncing around in my brain like super balls and it’s hard to explain that. But friendship is the bedrock of philosophy. Friendship is so important, when it’s real and true. As always--that’s Aristotle. As I’ve said a hundred plus times, the best thing you can do is  “contemplate contemplation” or thinking about thinking, i.e. philosophy. A philosopher would say that, right? He names tons of other important virtues: philanthropy, generosity, honesty, and all the ones you’d expect. But one of the most important is friendship. And we see that kind of friendship playing out. The strength of one character is inspiring the others or teaching them things. I could go on for like ten more wildly incoherent paragraphs, but I’m going to stop because it’s 1:30 in the morning. And nobody wants the Kierkegaard/Aristotle smoothie I’m trying to concoct. Not even me.

As an aside. I had to pause the show when Tahani used a weird British idiom and they all stared at her, not getting it. And she said, “Come on. You should be able to get these things from context.” THAT RIGHT THERE? IS A WRITER SAYING HA!! FUCK OFF!! to every producer/director/studio exec who ever told them to take out a reference or or change a line “because no one will get it” or to make the show “relatable.” And it was glorious. I mean this has never personally happened to me. Of course not. (pssssst. it totally has.)

[witch-hazels-musings]

I WOKE UP JUST IN TIME AAAAA

Can I request the tall boys (Childe, Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya + anyone else you think you wanna add or change (except maybe Childe because I love him)) reacting to you having animal-like features (like ears and tail)

Or

What they would do if by some accident they themselves end up getting animal features (like fox ears and tail for Childe, cat ears and tail for Kaeya or Diluc, dragon features for Zhongli, etc) do they become clingy and display cat behavior of rubbing themselves on you? Something like that aaaa I'm so sorry if this doesn't make sense it's my first time requesting

experiments gone wrong

(eehe these men *cough* zhongli *cough* will be the death of me) 

Warning -> sfw, fluff (kissing, character suddenly acquiring animal like features) 

Character X GN Reader | anthology 

Includes: Childe, Kaeya, Zhongli 

As an alchemist, you really should have remembered the most important rule -> don’t leave unmarked bottles out where people can drink them …

So you couldn’t be too surprised by the turn of events that followed

Childe 

He went to bed earlier than normal, but you didn’t think anything of it. Perhaps he had a terrible day and just wanted to sleep it off, there wasn’t any reason to pester him about it anyway. 

The next morning, you felt him slip out of bed, a yawn falling from his mouth as he made his way toward the bathroom. Turning, you claimed more of the bed and attempted to sleep just a little bit longer. That was until you heard a wild cry and shot up in an instant. You were already partially out of the bed when Childe burst into the room. 

He looked at you, you looked at him, and as your eyes drifted from his ears to his tail, you understood his reaction. 

“WHAT?” He shouted into the bedroom. 

Oh archons, to see him like this … you wished it was easier for you not to think about how adorable he was, but it was impossible. The soft ears that peeked from underneath his hair, the fluffy tail that didn’t know how to stop moving, and the frantic face he gave you were all just perfect 

“What happened??” He asked, running back to the mirror before returning his attention to you. Quickly, you made your way to his aid and did your best to calm him.

“I’m not sure, did you do anything strange yesterday?” You pulled his face toward you, cupping your hands against his cheek and running your fingers through his hair. 

“Not that I know of … uh, oh! I found this …” He reached for a small bottle on the bathroom counter and handed it to you. Shit.

“Did you drink this??”

“ … yes.” 

“CHILDE!” You burst into laughter, knowing it wasn’t the right time but also unable to control yourself. His expression was distressed and worried and, as best as you could, you tried to bring yourself back to calm. “This wasn’t supposed to be consumed …” 

“A-am I going to die?” 

“No, you’re just going to be, well, this it seems.” 

“How long??” 

“I don’t know, a few days maybe.” He dropped his head into his hands, his ears drooped and his active tail dropped toward the ground. Wrapping him in your arms, you offered him reassurance while trying not to laugh. “You’re very cute though.” 

You caught sight of his tail moving slowly back and forth and added more pressure to your hug. 

He found that it wasn’t as bad as he thought, in addition to the extra features, he also was able to gain other advantages - his eyesight was much better in the dark, his sense of smell more keen, his agility top notch 

You were sure he had grown attached to them in the short time he had them - so when the option came for him to revert, you were sure it would be a tough decision 

Still - to keep him trapped like this, with features that weren’t his own - you didn’t want to be cruel 

“Here,” You put the bottle down in front of him. His ears perking up at the item and his fingers reaching to grab it. “All you have to do is drink that and everything should go back to normal.” You said with a slightly wistful tone to your voice. It was somehow sad to think these adorable additions leave would be gone soon. 

“What if it doesn’t work?” 

“I’m not sure. We will just try again if it doesn’t though.” Quickly, he took the cork from the lid and moved the vial to his lips. His ear twitched as he smelled the concoction. “I’ll miss this.” Resting your head in your hands you watched as he downed the liquid in one go. 

“It’s hard for people to take me seriously like this …”

“Did people take you seriously before?” You joked, winking at him. 

The next morning, he stirred in bed next to you, his hair brushing against your face and making you wake up before you wanted to. As your eyes adjusted, you instantly recognized what you thought was hair was actually ears and the giddiness of your heart jump-started you awake. It didn’t work -- oh no, guess you’d have to keep trying. 

Kaeya 

Waking up next to Kaeya was your favorite thing. It was an opportunity for you to be close to him, to witness his relaxed expression, and know that in these moments he trusted you over anyone else. 

So, when you woke and found him pressed against you, your hands absentmindedly began to run through his hair, over his shoulders, as you meandered your way into the waking world. There was something soft that flicked against your hand, but you pushed it away. It happened again, confused, mouth turning into a scowl and eyes rudely being pried open, you looked down to see what was making you irritated. 

You were wide awake when you saw the cat ears sticking out from Kaeya’s blue hair. They were richly shaded, deep blues with tips of white and perfectly placed on his head. Shifting, you tried to get a better view and the action made him stir. 

“Mmm, stop moving.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around you and holding you steady. Tapping his arm, you tried to get his attention. 

“K-Kaeya …” 

“What is it?” 

“Do you feel okay?” You asked, your voice shaking and hands hovering over his ears. 

“I feel perfectly fine, why do you ask?” He kissed your chest before nuzzling back into his place. 

“You … you’ve got cat ears.”

He laughed and pushed your comment away. His legs moved under the sheets and you swore you saw something poke out from the bed. “You’re pulling my leg, I didn’t know you could be this funny so early in the morning.” 

“I’m not, see.” Stealing his hand you placed it on his head and watched as his fingers ran over the ears which were sticking straight up. When his eyes shot open and his hand began to move faster, pulling, tugging, examining the feature, you tried not to laugh as his confused expression turned into a slight panic. He shot up, his legs moving so he could sit on the bed but winced when he did so. That’s when the both of you saw the tail. 

“Hold on, let me get ready, just … don’t freak out.” 

You rushed around the room to gather up your items, your gaze continuously falling on the incredibly still, unmoving frame that was Kaeya. 

After calling on Albedo to come and offer assistance, only to find that the features would be around for a few days … Kaeya started to get more accustomed to them 

He was for sure rattled but bounced back rather quickly - in fact, the features seemed to get him even more attention than he had before and he found that the added bonuses were helpful when he needed them for his knightly tasks 

Not to mention it seemed he was more affectionate than normal, and not in the way he normally was, it was more in a … cuddly, interested, curious manner 

One evening, you found yourself reading over several books that Albedo had recommended and became rudely distracted when Kaeya pushed his way under your arms and nestled into your lap

“Hey there.” You called down to him, hand dropping to his shoulder as he nuzzled against you. 

“Give me attention.” 

You laughed at his pouting expression, his lips turned downward and ears twisting to show he could be trusted. “I’m currently trying to figure out how to fix this, I can’t do that if I’m giving you all my attention.” His eye squinted for just a moment before he moved more into your lap and nearly pushed the book in your hands onto the floor. “Kaeya!” The playful laughter that filled his ears was as tantalizing as the drinks he let touch his lips. 

“You can figure that out later. How can you possibly resist me right now anyway?” He asked, pushing against you until your back pressed into the couch and his hands weaved their way around your body. His hair tickled your face as he nuzzled into your chest and, even though his hips dug into yours, you didn’t seem to mind the closeness he was trying to find. 

“Okay. Fine, I’ll look into it more later.” 

“What excellent news.” He practically purred as he slid his way to your neck and let his body rest against you.

 Zhongli 

It’s been so long since he saw himself with such features - and, to be honest, he didn’t notice them for some time. It wasn’t until you returned and the items in your hands fell to the floor upon seeing him that his attention was captured

“Zh - Zhongli!?” You babbled, making your way to him and not knowing what to rest your eyes on first. Was it the pair of elegantly shaped horns that sprouted between his brown locks of hair? Was it the golden slits in his eyes that reminded you of the reptiles roaming around the rocky paths of Liyue? Or did you look at the scales that decorated his face in such perfect placement? 

“Has something transpired?” His expression was one of concern, but also one of disillusionment. Did - did he not notice? 

“Are you feeling nostalgic today?” 

“Not particularly, what makes you ask?” 

“Well … you look kinda like … I mean hold on.” You quickly disappeared down the hallway before returning with a small handheld mirror, one that Zhongli had purchased for you some time ago. Handing it to him, you waited until it started to register on his face the changes to his appearance, and that’s when you noticed the long claws which jutted out from his nail beds.  

“Huh, this is peculiar …” 

Sitting down across from him, you placed your hands on the table and watched as he examined the reflection of his face. “So you didn’t do this?”

“I must say that I did not, though It is rather pleasant to see …” His voice trailed off and you watched as he fussed with his hair, touched the horns on his head, and opened his mouth to check and see if - yup, he had canines much like a dragon too. That’s when it hit you. 

“Did you … drink anything strange?” 

The mirror found its place upside down on the table, his glowing eyes shifted to you as he took in your question. You let him think and finally, he gave you his answer. “I do recall there was a strange vial on the counter when I awoke. Ah - my dear, are you unwell?” He asked as your head dropped onto the table. 

The strangest thing about Zhongli holding these features was that he seemed … perfect for them and it was becoming quite the problem to hide

You were much too cautious that someone may discover who he really was with these pretty telling additions to his wardrobe, so you asked him to stay home for a while until you could get some answers

He didn’t seem to mind, and when you were finally able to gather up all the items needed to prepare an antidote for his condition, you were finding it very distracting to make the concoction at home 

The bubbling liquid warned you it was much too hot and so, with adept fingers, you turned the nobs and burners down so as to not overheat or scald the liquid inside. The aroma that filled your nose was … unpleasant to say the least, and so you finally succumbed to the need to wrap your nose in a clean cloth. 

Turning your back to the equipment, you made your way toward the drawer where the rags were kept but when your eyes caught sight of Zhongli standing by the window, you nearly fainted. 

He was wearing a robe, the material had slid down one of his arms and rested in the crook of his elbow. It gave you pause and allowed you to see the toned torso which was normally hidden by the layers of clothing he wore on a regular day. 

Since he found no need to properly get dressed, he had reserved himself to lounge about in clothes that felt ‘more suitable’ to him, as he explained. 

The light from the sun flashed across his chest, laid softly against his face, and illuminated the golden speckles in his hair - you wondered if it was because of the horns, perhaps they were reflecting the light and making him look ethereal in the warmth of the sun. He crossed his arms and shifted his weight as he looked beyond the window, almost as if he was yearning for something far beyond his reach. 

“I think I’m nearly done.” You explain, tying the towel around your face and returning, reluctantly, to the concoction behind you. 

As you began to spoon out the unnecessary ingredients until you were only left with the pure grade potion, you didn’t notice how he had moved to your side until the small vial was filled. 

“Here you -- oh!.” He stood right in front of you. His eyes were dangerous, burning, focused. “I didn’t see … you …” He reached around to the back of your head and skillfully undid the makeshift mask you had created moments ago. When it was off, he took the vial in his hands and placed it onto the counter before returning his attention to you. “Are you … okay?” You asked, tracking the movements of his face as he leaned down toward you. 

His lips hovered barely over yours and the closeness of him made your heart flutter. “You are mine, are you not?” His voice rattled your bones from the intensity, it was oppressive and supportive all at the same time. 

“Y-yes?” 

His lips pressed against the corner of your mouth, “You belong to no one else?” 

“No …”

“Good.” 

It’s a good thing the instructions never said anything about, ‘consume immediately’ because you were very distracted for some time. 

-- 

tag list: @star-gods @mercurysmaiden @dourpeep @clemmywrites @pepperoncinipizza @handswritteeen @lucifucker @beelsdessert @odafashioned @coolcats09 @ninqat @musekala @sufzku @mooshymello  @heavenlyang @plenilunegazes @glazelilyy @justyoureverydayqueer @idunkar @solowmomo @twokissesforamelia @the-mermaid-of-mondstadt @fuwon @goat-mama-breezie @angelmelt @lucacandy @shesleire @mariana @zentoruu @smol-knife @nightlywallows @aoirohi @nitorious-ghost @mguerra11 @maiiikoo @actstfbla @youaskedfurret @nonniechan @evolcahra @tempehlust @zenith-impact @plumpkie @jaggedsi @salty-salty @onlyhereforinteractivestories @gultonluvv @shy-specter @liebestraumss @jaemjenjam @softlybeloved @anatthesavage

[twistedmusings]

Wake Up From Your Dream

A/N: I don't even know what I can SAY to this one except...I think I was so angry at not writing that I wrote smut outta SPITE? Can I be so angry with myself that I write Malleus smut to just get something out there? I guess I can. Anyways this ask certainly let my imagination fly q wq

Warnings: Non-con making its way into dub-con, manipulation, impregnating sex and Malleus realizing that family is really important.

You needed to find your way back to Night Raven College.

It has been so long since you’ve been back there, laughing and walking around as if there was no trouble in the world. Nevermind that you weren’t anywhere close to home and nevermind that your family was seeking you out.

As long as there was a possibility of you finding your way home, you had pretended that everything was going to be alright.

You were still a stranger to this world, you had no ties to this world and there would be no reason for you to stay once Crowley found your way back home. It was wonderful making friends with such a variety of people and watching them all grow in their own way. The way you knew you would grow from this experience as well.

Watching Ace and Deuce really come into themselves and their Unique Magic, watching the dorm leaders step into their positions of power and truly start to make a name for themselves that would help them out in their own version of the ‘real’ world. Riddle had gotten a wonderful position befitting of his family name, Leona was actually graduating, Azul was said to open a Monstro Lounge in the Coral Sea while Kalim had started investing time in his father’s trade without having Jamil help him. Even Idia was starting to take strides in his own field!

And you were proudest of Malleus. One simple conversation outside of Ramshackle had turned into a friendship you thought you would never forget. It was so wonderful to see him interact more with students, shyly following after you as you pushed him to talk more to others despite his position. That was what college was for, right? To experience new things and find your future--

You just didn’t think that Malleus would take it that far.

Was it because he was spoiled? No, even though he was born in a monarchy he still did his best to remain kind to others, especially his subjects. You were sure he was going to make a kind king in the future, even if you never got to see with your own two eyes.

You pull the hood over your head as you enter a bath house, the fae receiving you with a curious look and a smile as you hand her 2000 madols.

“Will you be booking a room tonight as well?”

“Just a simple shower and bath, that is all.”

If you were to make a guess, you were in the borders of the Valley of Thorns, a more rural area compared to the now rather modernized capital. You had stolen enough money to get you by for a few trips and you knew that places like these were the best at getting you directions. It had been a bit of a grueling trip, testing your knowledge of the fae language as well as avoiding questions about who you were and why you so desperately needed to make your way back to such a prestigious college. In a sense, you kept it minimal.

You needed to get back home.

“It’s fine. You’re fine. It’s fine. You’re fine.”

The mantra you kept repeating to yourself was whispered under your breath as you removed your articles of clothing slowly, still looking around to see if anybody had followed you in. But this is what was raising all of the hairs on your body, wasn’t it? This constant vigilance that didn’t let you sleep at night. You needed to relax, no one else would come this far.

You feel the fatigue melt as several days of walking are washed right off your body, a smile slowly creeping up on your face as you wash the dirt and oil from your hair.

It would be fine.

You would make it to Night Raven College and sneak into the Hall of Mirrors before wishing yourself back home. Crowley had said that they had pinned down the world you lived in and only after you make your wish would the connection be broken. This most likely meant that the connection was still intact since you didn’t even get a chance to to look at the mirror before you were whisked away.

Everything was going to work itself out, that’s the most you could promise yourself.

The bath is heavenly, the temperate water cooling you down from the hot shower as you look around.

There were no other patrons.

“Good.”

You lean back and press your head against a soft pillow of towels, enjoying the silence as you feel your worries soften while thinking back to what you would do when you were back home. It had been so long since you’ve seen some of your friends, your family was probably worried sick and you still had your own plans you wanted to get through.

If you had time, you could maybe drop by to see how your first year friends were doing?

Or were they in their third year now?

Wouldn’t that be a sight to see?

Your eyes close as you let yourself relax entirely, almost succumbing to sleep.

Only for a hand to grab your throat, the other covering your eyes as you hear a familiar chuckle that tenses your body up and breaks your heart.

“I am afraid we will have to postpone this shower.”

Tears well up in the corner of your eyes as you hear the sound of footsteps into the area, most likely the royal guard.

“Lilia--”

“You’d do well to stay put lest they chase after you.”

The hands covering your eyes pull back as you see a teasing smile looking down pitifully at your fresh set of tears.

“It has taken far too long to find you, Your Majesty.”

-----

“HUMAN!”

“[Y/N]-san!”

Lilia smiles as he leads you by the hand, the royal guard following close behind as Sebek and Silver join him.

“He might have already woken up, Father.”

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY YOUNG MASTER HAS GONE THROUGH?”

“Sebek.” Lilia looks at his charge, “Quiet. Malleus might still be sleeping.”

Silver takes one peek at you, trying to meet your gaze but pulling away when he sees that the veil Lilia had put on you is blocking anybody’s stares from seeing your face. In fact, the second in command had put you in one of the traditional outfits for fae royalty, complete with a light veil that flowed down from the silver circlet placed on your head.

“Excellent.”

Lilia turns his attention to you and laughs.

“He has been absolutely miserable since you left. It was quite a surprise to all of us when you managed to leave the palace walls. None of us thought that you had really done it, especially him, and it really was a hassle to search the palace up and down to see just where our little human had run off to.”

His voice drops to a whisper as he brings your hand up to his lips.

“I’ll make sure to punish you for that later.”

The older fae leads you along as you finally reach your destination, smiling as he knocks on large wooden doors while pushing you slightly to stand in front of everybody.

An answer he was going to get by the end of the night.

“Malleus.”

No answer. He tests the doors and nods when he sees they are unlocked, opening them as he leads you to step inside so that you both could see the figure drenched in moonlight, looking out the window as if awaiting for an answer.

Lilia waits for his other charge to say anything but shrugs as he looks at you with a smile and a bow.

“We are glad to have you back, Your Majesty.”

The door closes with a loud click as you turn your eyes to look up at the imposing figure, your nails digging into your fingertips enough to draw blood as you try to hold back from screaming and shouting at him to stop acting like such a child. Yet you do not wish to anger him, at least to save yourself from any sort of harsher punishment.

So instead you make your way over to the bed--

Only for the fae to turn around, grab your wrist and slam your back into the rough stone wall. Bright green eyes glare down at you as you wince in pain, still looking away from him but letting out a yelp when Malleus’s fingers grab your chin and force you to look at him in the eye.

“Why did you run?”

He really had no idea, did he?

“Because I don’t belong here--”

Malleus tightens his hold on your wrist.

“We’ve discussed this before, child of man, you belong here just like anybody else, you are my Queen--”

“Malleus wake UP!”

You push against his hold but the fae’s hold gets tighter, most likely leaving a mark. But that wouldn’t deter you, not anymore, you were going to tell him.

“I’m not from this world! Coming to Twisted Wonderland was just an accident! A stupid, stupid accident that no one bothered to fix! And just when we were close to making it right you---you--!”

Shit, you’re crying again.

“I have people waiting for me. Just like you had a family waiting for you. I came to the Valley of Thorns thinking that I was supporting you during your coronation but you just--made a decision entirely by yourself and announced me as yours! Why did you lie to me? To them?!”

Malleus’s hold softens as you finally let your tears flow freely, wishing to wipe them away only due to how weak they were making you look.

“...did you not say you loved me?”

“I did! I did but--Malleus after what you did I can’t--”

He lets go of your wrist only to cup your face as he leans down to press his lips on your cheek, his tongue licking up the warm tears as you grab hold of his wrists to try and push him away.

“Do you miss your family?”

You nod as he moves to kiss the corner of your eyes.

“More than anything…”

The dragon fae hums, letting his lips stay where they were a few seconds longer before chuckling as he pulls you close.

“I see--I really have been cruel to you, haven’t I?”

Your heart nearly leaps out of your throat at his words, hands clutching at his robes as you quickly nod. Maybe this was it, maybe it had taken you breaking down to let him see reason?

Please. Please!

“...A family.”

Malleus’s words are like dripped honey as a thought formed in his head, the thought taking shape and form as his hands clutched you tighter.

“Then we’ll just need to make a family of our own…”

-----

Hands clutch at his sheets as Malleus takes in the shape under him.

How beautiful could you be? How complex? To him it was as if not a day had passed since you first met. What had been mere curiosity had delved into deep affection and blossomed into a love that Malleus would only read about in fairytales. The sort of books that led him to believe in soulmates, in happily ever after’s and the possibility of spending the rest of your life with the one you loved.

And yes, you weren’t a fae, but the power of his magic was grand enough to keep you tied to him for the rest of eternity.

His lips can’t help but seek out yours as he thinks about how he is the one who will decide when you die.

This love hadn’t started out like this. What he felt for you had been a bit more relaxed, a lot softer and dreamier. You had confessed to him after his Overblot incident and he had gladly accepted your feelings. He was still keen on finding you a way home and promised himself to not let any moment be wasted in thinking how you soon would be far away from him.

Every day was spent happily with you, the rest of the school year flying by as you both enjoyed the time you still had together.

But Malleus was still a dragon at heart, a fae that yearned and longed to take and take.

So when thoughts about you leaving started to make their way to the forefront of his mind, not even your constant love and affection could keep him from his instincts.

You would leave him to go back to your world. Go back to the normal and the familiar. As you walked your path, you would eventually find someone that enchanted you the way he had, all ending with you walking down a beautiful aisle to your now beloved.

A person that wasn’t...him.

As the days of his third year started to run to a close, his hold on you had become a lot tighter, his kisses a lot more possessive and in the end he had invited you to watch his coronation as he entered his fourth and final year.

With his announcement of making you his Queen.

“Malleus! Please I can’t--I’m not ready--!”

He let Lilia make up some story about you not returning to Night Raven, fooling Crowley into believing that you had found your future in the Valley of Thorns with him. The announcement of you taking up the role of Queen had been surprising but Malleus had woven the story in such a way that there had been talks of having it printed for others to read.

It was a wonderful ending to your love story, you ending up in his arms. But something was missing…

Malleus was glad that you had given him the answer.

Both of your knees were on either side of his waist, your hands clutching at whatever they could as his cock buried itself deep into your cunt. The veil was long forgotten as his robes and your own are thrown carelessly around the room while you wail and scream at being broken into by such a thick length. The small sight of blood on his cock made Malleus smile as he pushed in further, the tightness that was pushing him back slowly opening up for him as he watched you do your best to fit him inside.

It would be fine, you would be fine.

With a growl he finally bottoms out, two hands holding your hips and forcing you down to take all of him as the tip of his cock pressed right under your womb--

He shivers as you tighten up again, leaning down to lick up the trail of tears on your cheek before eating up your tiny whimpers with a hungry kiss.

“Here...right here is where our family will start.”

A large hand takes yours as Malleus puts it right over the small bulge on your stomach, your eyes growing wide as you realize just how deep inside he is. He kisses you again, not daring to break away as he lets a trail of saliva dangle from his lips to yours, the clear liquid disappearing into your mouth as your body relaxed and your eyes grew hazy.

“Do you love me, child of man?”

It was a simple question, but your brain seemed muddled from his kiss. Dragons tended to excrete a certain liquid as they got ready to mate, the experience painful even within his own species but being eased with the help of saliva, sweat or cum.

And with the way he was pressed against you, his sweat matted on your skin as he let more of his spit drip down his tongue and onto yours...surely the answer would come the more you two worked to start your family.

Malleus hardly gave you any time to recover as he started to move, his eyes entranced with the way he disappeared into you with each thrust. Your mind was still muddled but your body was already eagerly accepting him, your legs wrapping around him slowly before locking him in place as he repeated the question.

“Do you love me, child of man?”

You open your mouth but the only word that comes out is a plea for him to go faster.

Which Malleus gladly listens to.

It didn’t take long for him to start pounding into you at a brutal pace, every thrust having the tip of his cock slamming against your womb as your toes curled from the pleasure of taking him so deep. His cock disappeared inside your tiny cunt, shaft now coated not just with blood but with your arousal as well. The bed creaked in protest while the sounds of the bed frame hitting the wall helped him keep time, Malleus leaning back down to kiss you again as your lips this time part eagerly and sucked on his tongue while your hands clutched his shoulders and horns.

Cries turned into happy moans, your sad and abandoned look now one of pure ecstasy as your pussy flutters and tightens around him, pushing him to go harder and harder so he could---!

“[Y/N]--!”

Your legs close tighter around him as you bury your face on the crook of his neck, your orgasm being ripped from you unexpectedly as Malleus halted his movements with a stiff body. He drops his head on your shoulder as your legs keep him in place.

“Malleus...ah--!”

He groans as he paints the inside of your walls white, the warmth of his cum filling your womb to the point that what you hadn’t taken merely dripped out onto the now stained sheets. Malleus lifts his head to look down at you, smiling as he sees your eyes staring up at him eagerly despite how much you had protested before.

“A family…”

You smile as Malleus nods, your hands going all the way to your stomach as you feel the warmth start to twist your brain even more.

“A family with you…how wonderful…”

Arms wrap around him as Malleus kisses a trail from your shoulder to your lips. He just needed to ask you one last time.

“Do you love me, child of man?”

With a hum, your answer is whispered into his ear as Malleus closes his eyes as he realizes that this is where his happily ever after would finally start.

“I love you Malleus, more than anything else.”

[kiridarling]

𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓.

— 3.0k words

eijirou kirishima | hard dom + dubcon jic + f!reader + exhibitonism + face-fucking + dumbification + car sex + more! minors dni.

"Made me come all this way...it’d be a pity if I didn't get somethin' out of it."

"No, no, no, no, no—c'mon," you cry as your car engine spits and sputters to a stop in the road, coughing like an old man with asthma before it's dead for good. Jamming your heel on the gas pedal, you twist your key in the ignition, but there's no use. You're fucking stuck.

You sigh, before slamming your forehead against the steering wheel. It's hard enough to sting, and the blaring horn startles all unsuspecting birds in a five-mile radius, but you could care less. Stuck in the middle of the woods at one in the morning, AAA membership-less with nothing but the clothes on your back and the vehicle you came with. Short cuts are a fucking myth.

Mina's the only person you can think of calling—because frankly, she's the only one who'd know a mechanic who could help at this time of night if one exists. Which you doubt. Severely.

"[Y/N]?" Mina answers, semi-urgently. You wonder if you startled her out of a good sleep, but knowing the night owl, her evening is just beginning. "What's up?"

"I'm fucking stuck in the middle of nowhere," you groan, banging your head against the back of the seat though you know she can't see you. "Car's not working."

"Oh no," she coos, and her pity is useless. "Do you have AAA?"

"No. Do you have a mechanic?"

"A mechanic...at one am? I don—wait," she interrupts before you hear something akin to rustling sheets. "I might have a friend who could help! But don't get your hopes up girlie, he's a heavy sleeper."

You shrug, shaking your head. "At this point, I'm desperate."

"Alrighty!" Mina confirms, and now all you can do is fucking hope her friend pulls through. "I'll give him a quick buzz and then send his number over, sound good?"

"Sounds perfect," you breathe, relaxing (somewhat) with your chin against the steering wheel. "Thanks, girl."

"Of course!" she cheers, and you wonder how someone could have so much energy at this time of night. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," you snort. "I might need it."

Riiiing! Riiiing!

Eijirou's had a long day.

A pipe busted at the auto shop today, resulting in an immediate flood—meaning they had to get everything that could possibly rust out as quickly as possible, aka everything in the goddamn shop.

So, yeah. He's had a long day, and when he's finally able to get under the covers and go the fuck to sleep, Mina calls him with this.

"Hey...Eijirou, buddy, best friend—"

"Mina, I love you, but what do you want?" Eijirou grunts into the phone, voice worn and ragged from limited sleep and his terribly long day. One am is never an appropriate time to call anybody, but he figures something has to be up—Mina's not the type to call in the middle of the night.

"Um, well. My homegirl’s kinda stuck in the woods with car troubles—"

"The woods."

It takes Mina a second but she hums in confirmation, and Eijirou can see her head nodding from where he lays. He sighs, rolling on his back to blink up at the ceiling. "Yep!"

"What is she doing in the woods at midnight?"

"I don't know!" Mina exclaims. Eijirou runs a hand over his face. "I just—please, Ei? She doesn't have AAA or anything and it's really, really late. All you have to do is hotwire her car or something, right? It's not like she totaled it or anything."

And dammit. Eijirou hates being a nice person.

"Just give me ten."

Mina practically gasps out a thank you, "You're a lifesaver Ei! Really! I—"

She's interrupted by the buzz of his phone—this time, from an unknown number. Eijirou raises an eyebrow, "That her?"

"Should be!" The pinkette says. Eijirou's feet finally touch the floor and it's painfully cold. His bed has never looked more appealing, and that's counting all those instances in high school. "Thanks again, Ei!"

"Yep," Eijirou says, popping the 'p,' before clearing his voice and switching the line. Customer Service at one am, here he comes.

"Red Riot Auto Repair and Services, how may I help you?"

All he receives is a grunt on the other end of the phone: "My car won't turn on."

Eijirou waits for you to give him a little more to work with, but it's clear that's all you have to say when you ask hello to ensure he's still on the other end of the line. Runs his hands through his hair, he silently prays he won't have to leave the house to get your car to work.

"Did you try jiggling the key?"

"Yes, I'm not stupid," you huff, and Eijirou's eyebrows fold in exasperation. He insists you do it again though, and hears the weak splutter of your engine through the phone with a heavy heart. "'S fucking useless."

"Did you try tapping the battery terminals?"

"The battery whatsitals?" You say, too loud and smart-mouthed for the very thin amount of patience Eijirou harbors. He reaches for his hair tie, satisfied enough with the messy bun he makes on the first try.

"Just send me your location," Eijirou sighs, moving for a jacket before snatching the keys to the shed. He'd rather just get this over with than beat around the bush.

Luckily, you're not far. 

"You drive that thing?" is your first comment, and Eijirou can't even appreciate your beauty before your first words shatter your image completely, and he's slamming the door to his truck with rolling eyes, rusted toolbox heavy in his hand. "It looks like Mater from Lightning McQueen."

Eijirou just stares at you for a second, just to see if you're really serious, and resists the urge to scoff when it seems like you are.

"It's a truck," is all he says, before marching around you and to the task at hand—your car. "Pop the hood."

You huff, but you listen, and Eijirou wastes no time in getting to work. You watch with your elbows balanced on the rim, curious but quiet, and that allows him to get in the zone enough to realize there are countless problems with your car.

"When was the last time you took this thing into the shop?" He probes. You click your tongue, eyes tracing the outlines of the trees as you search for an answer. That's never a good sign.

"Um...never?"

"And how long have you had it?"

"A few years," you nod, and Eijirou drops his head.

"It's a miracle you made it this far in the first place," he chuckles bitterly, shaking his head. What the hell is he going to do now? There's no way your car is moving anywhere tonight. You frown, jamming your hands on your hips.

"Well? Are you going to fix it or what?"

"I can fix it," Eijirou says with a shrug, closing your hood. "But not tonight."

"What do you mean not tonight?" You badger, breathing down his neck as he hikes back to his truck to set the toolbox down. There's no reason to carry it if he's not going to need it.

"I mean, your car's going to need a solid six months before it can run again, Sweetheart."

When Eijirou turns, you're much too in his face for his liking. He can practically feel your breath against his chest, and it has him rolling his eyes, leaning against his truck with arms crossed.

"Yeah, okay, but I need it to run tonight," you explain, gesticulating so wildly Eijirou fears his own chest may fall in the cross-fire. "Like, I need to get home tonight."

"I can't—" the redhead sighs, running his hand over his face. You're terribly difficult, and if Mina had given him a proper warning he probably wouldn't be here in the fucking first place. "Listen. My shop is out of commission for the next few days 'cause of a flood. I can work on your car or whatever, but it'll take a sec, so the most I can do is drop you at a hotel down the road or somethin'. Sound like a plan?"

"No," you growl, claws and all, and Eijirou wishes for nothing but death. "That doesn't sound like a plan! I don't know you, what makes you think I'll get in a car with you?"

Oh. My. God.

"Then you can spend the night in your car and have Mina come get you in the morning," he huffs, stomping over to the driver's side of his truck. "So it's either you're gettin' in, or I'm leaving ya."

With that, he slams the car door shut, shoves his key in the ignition, and counts to fucking ten, and on nine and a half you're flinging open the passenger door and bouncing in the seat, arms crossed over your chest in indignance. You don't even look him in the eye.

"Seatbelt," he warns. You tut.

"I don't need a fucki—"

"Put on the goddamn seatbelt."

You don't say anything, but he's satisfied by the click that follows. Eijirou shifts into drive and you two take off.

"The seat's so uncomfortable."

Not even twenty feet.

"Suck it up," is all the pity Eijirou has to offer. He's preoccupied with trying to get from this side road to a main road with, you know, actual civilization. The road is unsteady—unsteady enough that a bump sends the both of you flying towards the roof of his car, and naturally, you have something to say about it.

"Y'know, for a mechanic, you're not a very good driver," you say, and it has Eijirou's fists tightening around his steering wheel. His patience wears down until it has the height of a penny, and Eijirou worries for when it shatters because he has no clue what he'll do if it does.

"And it smells a little funky," you continue anyway, eyes wandering around the cabin aimlessly."Kinda like cheese. No offense."

Eijirou pulls over at that, teeth grinding. Is he really going to snap over cheese comment?

“Is this a condom?”

Yes. Yes, the fuck he is.

"Get out."

"Um—excuse me?" You blink, eyebrows raising in offense. "You're kicking me out. Because I found a fucking rubber?”

Eijirou glares your way and he's sure you can feel him radiating fury, and that's enough to convince you to hop out of the car without another word. He follows, slamming the door behind him.

"Okay? Now what?" You growl, and Eijirou loves it—the false display of confidence. Because he knows it won't take much to break you once he gets you under his thumb, and you'll look so pretty once he does. Cocking his head to his side, he tells you to come here without having to open his mouth. You follow.

"Now, on your knees."

You splutter at his request, rolling your eyes as if he wasn't being serious. Though you shut up once you hear the clink of his belt, lips widening in revelation, and Eijirou thinks you'd look much prettier with your mouth full.

"You made me come all this way—it'd be a pity if I didn't get somethin' out of it," Eijirou says, and the way you shiver implies that you like this more than you let on. He coos when you say nothing, "And for the first time today she's got nothin' to say. See? You're improving already."

He gives you a second to move. When you don't, he lifts an eyebrow. "Knees, Princess."

You do and Eijirou groans at the view, palming his hardening cock at the sight of your bambi eyes blinking up at him—and it's a pretty one, at that. Leaning against the door of his truck, he grunts, "Take it out."

Your fingers hook under the waistband of his boxers and Eijirou shivers upon contact with the cool air, but the warmth of your palm makes up for it. You spit on his cock with a curled lip and it's nothing short of crude, before you're swirling your tongue around the head and taking him as far as you can possibly go.

"Uh-uh," Eijirou tuts, grabbing you by the hair to pull your mouth off his cock. "We got at my pace, Sweetheart."

"Why?" You pout with a curled lip. Eijirou scowls.

"Because," he says, before stuffing half of his cock down your throat, "I'm gonna put that big fuckin' mouth to use at my pace."

With that, Eijirou thrusts into your mouth, using the grip he has around your hair as leverage. Your throat is impossibly warm and the way you choke has him keening, and that's enough for his hips to start picking up mindlessly.

"Shit—what a dirty fuckin' girl," he says, smirking when you moan around his cock. "You like this? You like sucking off a guy you just met?"

Your eyes flutter at that, nails digging into his thighs, and it nearly has him cooing. When you swallow around him Eijirou's hips stutter and he grunts, "In public, no less. Anyone could drive by and see you taking my dick down your throat...but you'd like that, wouldn't you? You want the world to know how much of a slut you are."

Your hand falls between your thighs and Eijirou grins like the devil as he watches you touch yourself on the dirty road, desperate just because knows how to push the right buttons. That's enough to have him caving, demanding you rise to your feet and get in the backseat of his car.

"Hands and knees," Eijirou urges, his body towering over yours from behind. It's not long before he's pinning your wrists to the windshield with one hand and using the other to land a harsh slap on your ass; harsh enough to make you jolt forwards from the force.

"Such a pretty ass," he coos before slapping it again, and your teeth dig into your bottom lip to muffle the sound. "And it's all for me, ain't it, Princess?"

You nod, but Eijirou spanks you again—he's looking for an answer.

"Y-Yeah, yes, all yours just—" your hips wiggle in search of his cock. Eijirou chuckles, leveling his lips with your ear.

"Want me to fill you up, Princess?"

You gasp out a yes, nodding vehemently. The redhead finds he likes you like this much better, chest rumbling with arousal. "Yeah? How bad?"

"B-Bad, please, I need t—fuck!"

Eijirou stuffs you full with one thrust, and even he needs a moment, freehand searching to hold onto your hip while his grip tightens around your wrists. You quiver under him, and he swears he can feel your gut contract around his cock, eyelids fluttering when you grind against him.

"Holy shit," Eijirou finds himself wheezing, not expecting you to be so tight. You drop your head against the cool windshield, whimpering like the pretty little thing you are, shuddering as he pulls out before ramming himself in again until he's balls deep. You scream, back arching from the angle.

And fuck. It's impossible for him to stop after that.

"Fuckin' look at you," Eijirou chuckles, body practically caging you against the seat, "Drooling all over my window like a slut. Fuck, you really know how to get a guy goin' huh?"

“Pull—pull my hair,” you request, words from his pistoning hips. Eijirou tuts and rips your hands off the window in favor of pushing your head into the seat, not making a move to yank on your hair once.

“I don’t think you’re in the right place to be making demands, Princess," he growls before his hot palm cracks against your ass, hissing from the way you tighten around him when he does.

You whine at that, pushing into him the best you can. It only spurs his hips on faster, and Eijirou lets go of your hands in favor of grabbing your face instead, groaning at the sight of the tears shining silver from the moonlight. He likes the fact that you can't do much but gasp and rock against him, your hands falling to clit to finally push yourself off the edge.

He looks at you and all he sees is his dumb little thing, who can't do anything, let alone get her car to work, and that's when Eijirou realizes he doesn't want this to be as much of a one-time thing as he initially thought.

"Gonna...gonna cum," you slur, cheek mashed flat against his window. Eijirou fucks you into the door of his truck, pace quick and bruising, as his mind thinks of all the fun you two could have together—all the fun he wants to have with you.

"Cum, Sweetheart. Make a mess of my cock and my leather seats, yeah? Show me how good I make you feel."

You tighten around his cock, tight, and that's enough to send him spiraling into an orgasm of his own, hips stuttering to a stop as he fills you up. Though his hips never stop, not until you're coming around his cock with a broken moan, curled toes digging into his car floor. He watches you catch your breath, splayed across the seat, with a sudden realization that he feels much lighter, but doubts it was the sex that did the trick.

"You fucked your anger out now?" You wheeze, breaking the silence, and Eijirou snorts.

"I—yes," he says before his eyes trail to the scratch marks around your hips and thighs. "Are you...okay?"

"Never been better," you toss your arms in the air like you're on a rollercoaster but lack the energy to scream. It's cute and it had the redhead re-evaluating everything, wondering how the day could start so shitty and yet, end so well. "Are you okay?"

His eyebrows furrow, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno," you shrug, and Eijirou finds it hard to stay focused when you look like that. "You asked me, so. Everyone needs a post-sex check-in, ya know?"

Fuck.

Fuck, yeah he's definitely keeping you.

[luminnara]

It’s Been A Long, Long Time | ch 4

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Taglist:  @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely

Amoretta swam in and out of sleep. Whenever she surfaced, she saw bright lights and strange faces, and, assuming that she was in a HYDRA lab, she decided it was better if she just kept on dreaming. After a while, though, she couldn’t manage it anymore, and she finally woke up enough to actually take in her surroundings.

She was in a hospital bed, and...a gown? She couldn’t remember the last time she had been given clothing. When she tried to move, she found that her arms ached, and she had an IV sticking out of her. Okay, so wherever she was, they were trying to take care of her. Maybe. That seemed like a good sign. 

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” a man’s voice said. “How’re you feeling?”

A figure came into view, blurry at first, and as he got closer she was able to get him in focus. Amoretta immediately stiffened, feeling threatened by this stranger, but as the scent of omega wafted in, she relaxed slightly. She couldn’t smell any alphas nearby, and that was good. 

Two good signs so far. 

“Wh-who are you?” She asked, her voice wobbly and hoarse. Her throat was so sore that talking was painful. 

“My name is Dr. Bruce Banner.” The man said, reaching towards a nearby table and grabbing a water bottle off of it. “I’m with the Avengers.”

Amoretta frowned. “The...who?”

He came near her slowly, twisting the cap off the bottle and offering it to her. “You’ve probably got a lot of questions. Mind if I ask a couple, though?”

She gave a little shrug as she raised the bottle to her lips. It felt strange to hold, the water tasting...different from what she was used to.

“Can you tell me your name?”

She thought for a moment, brows knitting together. “Subject 1096.”

It was Bruce’s turn to frown. “Did you ever have a...different name?”

After a moment, she nodded, trying to remember. It felt like it was on the tip of her tongue, just out of reach. Had it really been so long since she had gotten to say it?

“We can come back to that one.” Bruce said gently. “Do you know what year it is?”

She thought for a moment. “19...1986.”

The doctor pulled off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose and mumbling something along the lines of “Christ, not another one…”

She got the feeling that she was off by a few years. 

“Well, Ten...is it alright if I call you that?”

She shrugged.

“...alright. Ten, it seems like you were cryogenically frozen for a few decades.”

“...decades?”

He nodded. “Your body seems to have handled it well, though.”

“Did I puke?” She asked, wrinkling her nose.

“Not that I saw.” He chuckled. 

Well, that was a little surprising. She had a tendency to vomit after being wrenched out of unnaturally cold naps. “Where am I?”

“You’re in my lab, at Stark Tower.”

“What continent?”

“North America.”

She made a thoughtful noise. “What month is it?”

“June.”

“So Ursa Major is out?”

Bruce paused. “...well, it’s hard to see with all the light pollution in the city, but...yes, I suppose it should be…”

She let out a sigh. “I miss it.”

Her voice was already sounding tired again, and Bruce was quick to take the water bottle back before it slipped from her hand. 

“You should get some more rest, Ten.” He suggested. “We’ve got plenty of time to get you caught up when you’re feeling more energetic.”

“Mhm.” her eyes fluttered closed. “Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“What city am I in?”

“New York.” He said, looking down at her curiously. “Manhattan, more specifically. Why?”

She smiled a little. “I wanna see...Brooklyn…”

As she drifted off to sleep again, Bruce rubbed his face. Well, that certainly was oddly specific of her to say. It was a good sign that she seemed lucid, though. 

“Captain Rogers is outside, Dr. Banner.” FRIDAY’s AI voice said. 

Bruce met him at the door, making his way out as quietly as possible. Steve looked anxious, standing with his hands on his hips as he waited for news. He hadn’t gotten a chance to find Bucky yet, his friend either working out or sleeping, and all he had managed so far was a quick debriefing and a shower. 

“I ran down as soon as FRIDAY called,” he said. “How is she?”

“Sleeping again. Just missed her.” Bruce said wryly. “Walk with me, I’m starving.” 

Steve fell into step beside him, heading towards the elevators. “Did she say anything?”

“She did. She seemed a bit out of it...couldn’t remember her name, hasn’t been awake since 1986.” He hit the UP button and stood back. “Seemed very interested in constellations, though. And Brooklyn.”

Steve stared at him. “Brooklyn?”

“Told her she was in New York, and the last thing she said before she fell asleep was something about Brooklyn.” Bruce shrugged. “Really interesting thing was her blood tests, though.”

“Blood tests?” Steve asked, stepping into the elevator and waiting for Bruce to join him before the doors closed again. 

“Definitely an omega.” Banner said as they headed up several floors. “Her scent is so muted because they pumped her full of enough suppressants to kill a normal person. Pretty sure that’s why she’s so tired...her body is working overtime trying to process such a high dose. I think it was just pooling in her system while she was in cryo, not really going anywhere, so now her kidneys are doing everything they can to—“

“Banner.” Steve interrupted before he had to listen to an entire scientific explanation. 

“Right. Sorry.” The scientist cleared his throat. “There was something else that I found already. She’s, uh…well, at some point, she was given super soldier serum.” 

Steve froze. “HYDRA gave the serum...to an omega?”

“It’s confusing to me, too,” Bruce put his hands up in defeat. “Thanks to that, though, it’s hard to determine how old she is, or who she is, without her telling us. All I know is that she’s an unmarked omega super soldier with a hell of a dose of heat suppressants to work through.”

“Any idea when she’ll be up again?” Steve asked as the elevator dinged to signal their arrival. 

“Hard to say.” Bruce said, following the alpha out towards the shared kitchen near the common area. 

“I need to get to the bottom of this, Banner. FRIDAY, will you find Bucky? I need you to tell him—“

“Tell him what?” A voice asked. 

Steve smiled in relief. Bucky was there, sitting on the couch with a plate of Alfredo balanced in his metal hand, looking mildly curious about whatever his friend was talking about. 

“Oh, good,” Steve said, approaching him, Banner following behind. “You’re already here.”

“What is it, Stevie?” He asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“Well, as you know, I visited an abandoned HYDRA base today.” 

“I’m aware.”

“And I found...something.”

“...something. What kind of something?”

Steve suddenly wasn’t sure how to describe his discovery. “Well, it’s a...not an it, I mean, I found a…”

“Rogers here brought back an omega test subject.” Bruce interrupted. “She’s down in the lab right now sleeping off some nasty meds.”

Bucky’s posture hadn’t changed, despite how awkward and almost nervous Steve had gotten. He leaned back against the cushions, slurping down a few noodles while he regarded his friend with a mild expression. 

“Alright, so?” He asked. 

“So...I was wondering if you had any idea what HYDRA was doing experimenting on an omega.” Steve said, hands on his hips in a stance that was supposed to say I mean business, so listen to me.

Bucky wasn’t bothered by it. He was the biggest, toughest alpha in the tower, aside from the rare occasions Thor was roughing it down on Midgard with the rest of them. The others could puff up and posture all they wanted at him, but it never had any effect. He was always calm and cool, generally disinterested in their displays. He knew he was stronger, and he didn’t need to prove it, especially not when he didn’t have an omega to fight over. 

He shrugged. “I want exactly privy to all their secrets. I know they kept cells full of omegas around for a while.”

“What did they do with them?” Steve asked.

“Whatever they wanted?” Bucky shook his head. “I really don’t know. If they were experimenting on ‘em, that never concerned me.”

“You’ve gotta know something, Buck.” Steve sounded exasperated. 

“Why do you care so much?” He asked. 

“Because something isn’t adding up.” Steve growled. 

“They gave this omega enough heat suppressants to last a lifetime,” Bruce said. “Her system is all kinds of messed up.”

“Makes sense.” Bucky ate another mouthful. “HYDRA wouldn’t want to deal with hormones going crazy or any unplanned pups.”

Steve stared down at his friend. “Did they let you rut?”

“Stevie, at least take me out to dinner before you start asking about my sex life fifty years ago.” Bucky said dryly. 

Steve just raised an eyebrow.

“...yeah. They did. Think they couldn’t stop my ruts.” He relented. 

“So did they...you know…” Steve trailed off awkwardly. 

“Were you ever given omegas to get you through them?” Bruce asked, proving once again how much more capable of having this conversation he was than Steve. 

Bucky finally had to glance away from them in embarrassment. “Well…yeah. But I, uh...the Soldier, he would just kind of...well, they didn’t really last long, if you uh. Catch my drift.”

Steve paled. 

Bruce gulped. 

“...what? Look, I’m better now, I’m way past that. Besides, I never meant to hurt anyone, I wasn’t myself—“

“This omega is a super soldier.” Bruce said quietly.

Bucky’s face dropped, a flicker of something passing over his face. “...what?”

—

“Finally,” Bruce sighed happily, inhaling the smell of leftover pizza. 

“Bucky, does the number 1096 mean anything to you?” Steve asked. He was sitting in a chair across from his friend, Bruce sitting at the kitchen island while he ate his dinner. 

Bucky shook his head. “Don’t remember any numbers like that. They mostly just called ‘em all omega.”

He was trying to seem cool and collected, but his scent had shifted slightly. Steve could catch just the slightest hint of distress in it, and as he did so, he narrowed his eyes. He may have been separated from Bucky for almost 80 years, but he was still his best friend, and he could tell when he was hiding something. 

“Why would they give the serum to an omega?” Steve asked. 

“Branching out?” Bucky shook his head. “Why do they do anything? They’re HYDRA. They can do whatever they want.”

“So you don’t remember anything about an omega super soldier?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky sniffed defensively. 

“Buck, it’s okay if you do.” Steve growled. “We’re not going to judge you for anything you did. We just want to help her and figure out who she is—“

“Well I don’t know,” Bucky snapped, big fangs bared in a warning. 

Steve responded with a low growl. 

“There’s a lot I don’t remember, or did you forget how many times they wiped my memory?” 

“Seems like you’re hiding something, Buck, and I wanna know what it is.”

“Why do you care? You should just drop it,” Bucky snarled. 

Steve regarded him carefully. Oh yeah. He was definitely hiding something. 

“Hey, hey,” Bruce interrupted from the kitchen, intent on stopping their fight before it could start. “Relax, fellas. Don’t make me get the big guy out to shut you both up.”

Steve backed down. The threat of having the Hulk going after him was enough. Bucky didn’t seem to share the sentiment, though, his lips still pulled back in a blatant display of aggression. It was the first time in a while that Steve had seen him acting so defensively about something, and it was concerning, to say the least. 

“Buck,” he said, voice low with warning. “Are you hiding something?”

Bucky’s nostrils flared angrily and the insinuation that he was keeping secrets, but he managed to reign himself back in, stifling another growl with a loud sigh. 

“I dunno, Steve.” He admitted. “There’s...a lot I don’t remember. If I’m bein’ honest with you, I’m not even sure why I’m feelin’ so worked up about this.”

Steve nodded. It was a relief to hear that Bucky wasn’t acting this way entirely on purpose, at least. 

“You feel okay?” Steve asked. “Not rutting soon, are you?”

“I’m fine, Steve.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” Bucky snorted. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again. “Is the omega, uh...is she okay?”

“Physically, she doesn’t seem to be too worse for wear,” Bruce said from the kitchen. “The only abnormalities I found in our preliminary blood tests were evidence of the suppressants and the serum. Other than being exhausted and needing to adjust to consciousness again after decades of cryo, she’s fine.”

“Good.” Bucky said, a little too quickly. “I mean...that’s good.”

“She should be awake again by tomorrow. Hopefully, she’ll be up for a longer chat then.” 

“You comfortable talking with her?” Steve asked, looking at Bucky. “It might be good for her to see someone else who used to be connected to HYDRA. Might help her ease into everything.”

Bucky gave a nod, already distracted by thoughts of this omega. Was it possible that the girl he saw in his dreams was real? It was hard for him to know what had actually happened to him and what he had imagined, what with HYDRA wiping his memory whenever they felt like it. Ever since he had gained his mental freedom, though, he had been plagued with nightmares, his sleep always filled with the faces of people he had killed. 

As time went on, they were getting better, but they never really stopped. He just...didn’t always have to deal with the worst ones. Sometimes, he even got to have dreams that were...nice. Sometimes, he dreamt of a familiar scent, one he couldn’t really place and that he could never remember when he woke up. Sometimes, he dreamt of an omega, with long, dark hair, and the prettiest eyes he could ever imagine. He always saw her in flashes, a smile here, a sigh there, and with no idea as to who she was or where she came from, he had chalked it up to his mind trying to give him some relief from the nightmares. It had to be wishful thinking, and nothing more. 

Unless it wasn’t. 

He spent a while chatting with Steve and Bruce before retreating to his apartment. With Tony and Pepper gone for the night, spending it in some fancy hotel so that Stark could give a talk at some expo, and most of the others resting after missions, the tower was quiet. It left Bucky too much time to wander and think, and before he knew it, he was making a detour down to Banner’s lab. 

As soon as the elevator doors opened, he paused. What was he hoping to accomplish, exactly? He didn’t have the kind of clearance that Bruce did. He wouldn’t be able to sneak in, and even if he could, what would he do? Appearing at her bedside would just freak the poor omega out, and that wasn’t the kind of first impression he liked to leave these days. 

He shook his head, pressing the button for his floor and leaning back against the elevator wall. He needed to be patient. Tomorrow, when she woke up, he would be able to see her for himself and decide if his weird dreams had any truth to them. 

Not that he was getting his hopes up. He shouldn’t, after all. He would just set himself up for disappointment. 

Just before the elevator doors slid shut, though, the tiniest, faintest hint of a scent wafted in, and Bucky’s eyes widened. He knew it. He knew that scent, or at least...he used to know it. Somewhere, in a part of his mind that he tried to forget about, he had memories of a peaceful, starry night sky, a hint of pine, and a touch of cinnamon. 

Then, the doors closed, and it was gone again, leaving him confused as the elevator rushed upwards.

[moxfirefly]

Hello~ From your smut prompt list. Numbers 2 and 44 for TMNT Bayverse? I’d say either Raph or Donnie. Raph would prob be more fitting but I’m curious to see what Donnie would do 🌝

Listen a jealous Donnie is something that I’m all for cause it’s a different type of jealousy compared to what Raph’s would be

So I’m going with him 👌

Rated Explicit (18+ Only)

It’s illogical, Donatello thinks.

To have this little nagging fire inside of his chest, this is expected after all. You’re beautiful, absolutely breathtaking in every sense of the word.

And yeah you’re his, and he is yours but that nagging little pin prick of self deprecation won’t leave.

He remembers staring at the comment on a harmless photo you had posted.

‘You’re so fucking hot’

It had read, the guys profile screams basic, he didn’t have much going for him aside from doing shit like this on any girls profile. Still it nags him, cause it’s not the only picture and the comments don’t remain as ‘tame’ as that one.

That same day you had walked into the Lair in nothing but short jeans and a flannel that often dipped off your shoulder. Donatello doesn’t like this twisting and churning in his stomach.

He doesn’t like jealousy.

Doesn’t like how his brain goes into primal mode and how willing he is to fight god himself if it looked at you funny. It’s worse cause now he’s hyper aware that everyone including his own brothers have stared at you at some point. Even if Leo shakes his head and shamefully adverts his gaze back to his book. Irritation doesn’t begin to cover his feeling when Raph clearly can’t keep his gaze away from your ass and Mikey still actively (if albeit friendly) flirted with you.

Maybe he’s reading to much into it. Still he goes a little harder on them when they spar. Sleep is definitely extremely needed after he blocks all the creeps from your page. Going to the garage had been a good idea, he could take out whatever frustrations remained in his body on repairs, soldering hell maybe even breaking apart things with a hammer.

He doesn’t expect to quell his jealous frustrations with you...

Against the truck...

With one finger deep inside of your heat and the other shoved a little too roughly into your mouth.

But this is kinda helping a lot, like way more.

Because he knows his comment was stupid, like sexist possessive boyfriend levels of stupid. Donnie has never once had an issue with your clothing choices, has never told you to not wear this or that but it’s the outfit from the picture that garnered so many disgusting men to say so many unnecessary and disrespectful things.

The second the words ‘You shouldn’t wear that’ leave his mouth he’s already wishing he could backpedal and explain that it’s not you, it’s the creeps. And yes words like ‘too revealing’ ‘not appropriate’ leave his mouth in word vomit and god why can’t he just shut up he thinks to himself.

You’re stunned nevertheless, brow raised and arms crossed and can’t you see your breast are barely in the short summer dress! Donnie swallows, fist clenched.

Then of course you had to go and say it, defiant little brat that you are.

“Make me”

Donnie bit the inside of his cheek, he took off the goggles (he hadn’t even started his repairs) and calmly walked towards you.

“Okay then” His voice was low, even, just too collected for how it had been seconds before.

And thus here you both find yourselves. On the side of the truck where no one can see either of you but fuck if they walked around the sight would be too much. Your back against his smooth plastron, he’s gotta hunch a bit due to his stature but that means his mouth is close to your ear. “You want to be a brat? You want everyone’s eyes on you?” The tone of his voice makes your skin break out in goosebumps, wow he’s actually angry.

You clench harder around his finger, he’s finger fucking so hard the palm of his hand smacks against your clit. Each resounding wet noise drives you closer to cumin. “They can all look, fuck it they can all ogle and fantasize and maybe even hope...” He lets the digit in your mouth slip out in order to gently grip your chin. He moves your face to better look at him. Then your eyes go so impossibly wide at his words.

“At the end of the day, this-“ He emphasizes with a hard thrust of his hand. “This pussy, is mine and mine alone, yeah?” You somehow nod, legs already shakey and unable to keep you up. If a stupid little dress caused this then, you guess you’re gonna have to wear this a little more often. “Don-I can’t,” Your legs are officially checking out and he knows, he wraps an arm around your waist and holds you close to himself as the first orgasm is pulled out of you via his finger.

Donnie doesn’t let you rest, he doesn’t even let your brain boot up again when he’s hauling you towards the table he has for working on parts of the truck. He sweeps everything out of the way, the clatter echoing and you’re sure somebody has to have heard that. Regardless of, he doesn’t seem to care, he bends you over the table, nearly rips the dress when he pushes it up passed your rear and yanks down your underwear. You grip the edges of the table, hearing things behind you, watching Donnie’s glasses roughly be chucked onto the table and the snap of suspenders.

You stick your rear out for him and hear him groan makes a spike of cockiness but it’s short lived when Donnie pushes into your sopped heat. You rest on your forearms, mouth open but no sound can come out that isn’t a choked breath. Donnie bottoms out with a lengthy ‘yeessss’ that’s growled out. It doesn’t seem to be enough though, because he bends down, arms trapping you and he holds the end of the table. He’s so close, suffocatingly close and god do you love it.

The angle adds a burn to your cunt, Donnie loves it. He feels your heat tightly squeezing his cock and he hasn’t even moved. “They wish they could, they wish they could do this” He says it right against your ear, every syllable tickling you and making you shiver. “If only they knew that at the end of the day, you walk around with my seed in you” He licks the shell of your ear before biting down on the back of your neck.

Hard.

Hard enough you yelp, hard enough that your hand reaches for his and he cups it. “Please, please...” You surprise yourself by actually stringing two words together when overwhelmed and heated to this point. Donnie makes sure to drive into you hard enough the table rattles and you yelp and squeeze your eyes shut. He slams again and you both moan together. You want to turn your head, you’re still worried somebody might walk in.

Donnie’s amused by that.

“Scared? Scared you’ll be found like this?” He gets up from your back and grips your waist, you know he’s giving you more room to look, to watch with baited breath and the possibility of it all only makes you wetter. You wanna play along, he’s been nothing but a jealous fuck this entire time, so why not hit him with one little blow and get his gears truly going.

“I hope Raph walks in” You say, voice shakey but teasing. Donatello’s thrust still, he glares down at you.

“I hope Raph gets to see me like this” You bite your lip before licking them slowly.

Donnie literally growls. He doesn’t give you enough time for another taunt when he drives into you quick and deliberately. He fucks you, he honest to god just fucks you like you’re his favorite toy and he’s been having a bad day, which he kinda has. He drives into you and doesn’t stop until he’s pulled three more orgasms out of you. He doesn’t stop, the sight of your sweaty, overstimulated body and barely able to scream anymore voice keep him going.

For good measure, just to reassure you, he manages for you to cum one more time. His muscles burn, he’s breathing to hard, delaying his own release always felt good but this? This was something entirely different. “Say it, say it or I’m giving you another one” He demands and you squeeze him because part of you wants to but another logical point is telling you that won’t walk right for the next few days. “I’m yours! Fuck Donnie I’m yours!” You feel him kiss the back of your head before pulling out. The daze isn’t enough to not make you look behind, he hasn’t cum’d yet so why...?

Donnie wraps his hand around his stiff length and pumps fast, he wants to mark you like this, it doesn’t take him long to cum. He finishes on your rear with a low lengthy moan, some of it shooting far enough to get the back of your dress.

“Jerk” You barely find enough strength to glare, even if his tired grin makes your stomach fill up with butterflies. “I’m gonna apologize but not right now” He wipes the sweat from his face with the back of his forearm. “You can start by cleaning me up” You hear several pops when you stretch a bit.

Nothing prepares you for Donnie kneeling and licking his own seed from your left cheek. You watch entranced as he pushes down the hem of your dress to cover your modesty. “I like jealous you” Comes your soft and honest voice. “Don’t, it’s not fun” He’s feeling all manner of things, even the gooey chemicals his orgasm brought but there’s still shame. You manage to stand back up on wobbly feet, you reach up and pull his face down and kiss him, literally tasting him.

Kiss him in a way that quiets all those negative thoughts and jealous images.

“I am, irrevocably so, yours” You caress his jaw, letting him close his eyes and hug you so tightly to himself.

[intheticklecloset]

Saiki K Sentence Starters Collection

A collection of the Saiki K sentence starters I’ve done, compiled for the sake of ease. These are all stand-alone stories.

~~~

1) Lee Kaidou, Ler Aren

“Stop squirming,” Aren laughed, struggling to keep up with the flailing of his friend who was rolling on the ground in a feeble attempt to get away from the fingers prodding into his ribs and sides. “You’re making this more difficult for yourself, Jet Black Wings.”

“Dohohohohohon’t cahahahahall me thahahahaht while you’re-!” Kaidou sputtered, giggling hysterically through every word. He was unbearably ticklish, and right now Aren was bound and determined to completely destroy him. “Plehehehehease, I cahahahahan’t!”

“It’s just a minute, Shun.” Aren finally straddled his waist to keep him pinned down, searching out his bottom ribs through the fabric of his shirt. “You can handle a minute, can’t you?”

“NO!! Of course I cahahahahahahan’t! God – AREN!!” Kaidou tossed his head back with a screech, laughter being forced from his lungs as his taller, stronger friend finally found the backs of his ribs and curled his fingers into the grooves there. The blue-haired teen arched his back, but eventually he couldn’t arch up any farther and had to fall back down again. “PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!! NAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Aren laughed again. “Dude, how are you so ticklish?”

“I DOHOHOHOHON’T – I CAHAHAHAHAN’T HEHEHEHEHELP IT!!” Kaidou’s laughter was loud and desperate, but the bright smile lighting up his features told Aren that he wasn’t hating it completely. “LEHEHEHEHET ME GO!! PLEASE!! NO MOHOHOHOHOHORE!!”

After another several seconds, Aren complied with his friend’s screaming pleas, climbing off of him. “You can’t even take a minute of tickling? That’s both sad and really funny.”

Kaidou groaned. “Shut up. You’re lucky we’re friends, or I’d have to kill you for that.”

“Uh-huh.” Aren poked his side again, making Kaidou yelp and roll away. “Good thing I don’t have to worry, then.”

*

2) Lee Saiki, Ler Kaidou

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh,” Kaidou commented as he and Saiki walked home from school one afternoon.

Saiki groaned to himself. Not many things amuse me enough to make me laugh.

“Well that’s a shame.”

Is it, though?

“Yeah! I want to hear it!” Kaidou hummed, watching him with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Saiki hesitated. He knew – he always knew – where that look was heading. Around his family he’d always been able to teleport away before anything happened, but here, with Kaidou, out in the open…this was not good.

For a few moments Saiki was able to dodge Kaidou’s attempts to grab his sides or ribs, but eventually he backed himself up into a wall, and that split second was all the blue-haired teen needed to find his purchase and start tickling.

Saiki hated how quickly he burst into laughter. Not even giggles – actual laughter, right out the gate. The sound seemed to surprise Kaidou, but not enough to keep him from letting up.

“Dude – your laugh is so awesome!” his friend said with a grin, squeezing up and down his sides and ribs.

Saiki struggled against him, but again, he couldn’t use his super strength to push him off without giving away that he wasn’t entirely normal. His best bet was to ride it out and then wipe Kaidou’s memory afterward. But he’d be darned if he was going to resort to begging him to stop.

“Hey, you’re not asking me to stop,” Kaidou mused as though reading his mind. “Do you like being tickled, Saiki? That’s hilarious! I’d have never expected that from you.”

Well…maybe he’d beg just this once.

*

3) Lee Saiki, Ler Aiura

“Just a smile~” Aiura teased, poking Saiki’s side with her fingertips. She’d latched herself onto his arm for their boyfriend-girlfriend show to throw off yet another Saiki fangirl, and now he couldn’t get away from her without ruining the routine. But dang it if she wasn’t making it really difficult for him!

Stop, he hissed, trying to remain as stoic as possible while continuing to walk out of the front doors of the school.

“But if you don’t smile, people won’t buy it,” she insisted, poking him again. “Come on~” This time her finger found a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves at the base of his ribs, and he jerked to the side involuntarily, letting out a sputtering giggle. Aiura stopped, staring at him. “Oh my god – you’re actually ticklish?”

Of course I am. Plenty of people are. He walked a little faster, practically dragging her with him. Come on, let’s get out of here.

“But I want to make you smile more,” she whined, trying her best to keep up.

Not here.

As soon as they were out of everyone’s sight, he teleported them far away from school grounds, where there’d be no chance of one of their classmates finding them. Just as he was beginning to relax, however, Aiura dug all ten fingers into his ribcage, making him gasp and choke on a laugh, trying to twist away from her but only succeeding in finding himself trapped in her embrace with his back to her chest, the height difference making it difficult for him to squirm away from her.

“S-Stohohohohop,” he laughed pleadingly. He didn’t know what else to do; it had been years since he’d been tickled, and his body was reacting faster than he could keep up with. “Aiura, plehehease!”

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re tickled,” she cooed, giggling into his ear. “Relax, Saiki. There’s no one here to know, is there? I think you can take a little more~”

*

4) Lee Saiki, Ler Toritsuka

Toritsuka had seen Saiki use his astral projection powers before, but never in a situation in which it wasn’t dire. He felt kind of odd just hanging out in the room with his friend’s body lying unconscious before him while Saiki was off investigating something.

“Is your body basically dead?” he asked the quiet air, not really expecting an answer.

Of course not. If it was I wouldn’t be able to project.

“Right, right. So, what? It’s just sleeping?”

No. It’s too difficult to explain. Just leave it alone.

“But can it still feel things? Like if I poke your nose, would you feel it?”

Why would you do that in the first place? Be quiet. I’m concentrating.

Toritsuka hummed, kneeling by Saiki’s inanimate body, poking his cheek. He didn’t react, but Saiki’s voice told him to knock it off. The medium smirked, feeling curious and mischievous. “What if I tickle you? Will you feel that?”

Don’t—

But it was too late. Toritsuka curled his fingers into Saiki’s side. A moment later his friend’s projection shot back into the room and reentered his body, waking it up with a jolt and a laugh that was clearly unintentional.

Saiki grabbed his wrist, a smile on his lips despite himself. Don’t, I said—

But the medium wasn’t to be stopped now. He shoved Saiki back onto the floor and dug into his ribs, enjoying the sputtering, unpracticed giggles that bubbled up out of him. “I didn’t even know you were ticklish. Oh, Aiura is going to love this.”

Stop it! Saiki used his super strength to push Toritsuka away, growling mostly out of embarrassment. Don’t you dare tell anyone else about this.

“Or what?” the medium teased.

Saiki teleported them above the middle of the ocean.

Toritsuka clung onto him for dear life, laughing. “Okay, okay, I won’t tell! I promise!”

*

5) Lee Saiki, Ler Aiura

I swear if you tickle me… Saiki threatened, holding perfectly still. He didn’t need to look at Aiura to know she was smirking.

“What is it, Saiki? You’ll teleport away? Not in front of all these people,” she teased. She had her arms wrapped around his waist, her chin on his shoulder, squeezing his sides gently. He grunted and squirmed, doing everything he could not to react beyond the tiny smile that was already forming on his lips.

Don’t, he thought to her. I don’t want anyone to see me like this.

“Aw, come on. It’s just the two of us. No one else here even knows you.” Aiura snuggled closer, squeezing harder. “Just give me one little giggle. Please?”

No. He grit his teeth against her efforts, but was unable to help the full smile lighting up his features now. Stop it.

“Come on~” she teased, moving up to his ribs now. “Just laugh a little~”

Saiki gasped sharply when she got to his lower ribs. He shot his arms down to try and pry her off, twisting in her grip as much as possible. “Please,” he said aloud, his voice laced with a waver that only encouraged her to dig deeper. “Plehehehease, don’t!

“What? Was that a giggle?” she cried dramatically, digging in with everything she had, holding him close to her so he couldn’t get away. Aiura beamed when he finally broke down into helpless laughter, his grip on her arms weakening. “Ah! There it is!”

“Plehehehehease, stohohohohop!” he begged, his laughter coming out jerky and foreign and completely endearing. “Mikoto!”

Finally she let up, still hugging him close. “That was cute.”

“Don’t ever do that again,” he muttered, turning his face away from hers.

She smiled and didn’t reply. The light blush on his cheeks was more than enough for her.

*

6) Lee Saiki, Lers Kaidou and Aren

“Aren,” Kaidou said seriously, “hold him.”

Saiki was trapped. He couldn’t teleport away, and he couldn’t use his super strength to fight either of his “friends” off, so his only option was to try and halfheartedly wrestle against the surprisingly strong Aren as he hooked his arms under Saiki’s to hold him in place while Kaidou approached with wiggling fingers.

It didn’t take a psychic to figure out what their intentions were.

Soon Kaidou shot his hands out to Saiki’s sides and squeezed, grinning wickedly at him as he did so. Saiki bit his lip and squirmed, but refused to give them the satisfaction of smiling or giggling. Still, his reactions were enough to encourage them both; no one who wasn’t ticklish would fight back the way he was now.

“Come on, just a little smile,” Kaidou teased, continuing to squeeze up and down his sides. Saiki continued to fight back until the blue-haired boy got a little too close to his lower ribs, making him flinch harder and make a kind of choking noise in the back of his throat. He hated that a smile managed to break free from him. He struggled even more against Aren, but again, he couldn’t truly fight in the way he was capable of. He’d be darned if this was how they found out he was a psychic.

“There’s a smile,” Aren teased into his ear, his breath tickling in its own way, making Saiki whine a little and begin to blush. “Now you need to let the laughs out~”

Kaidou hummed thoughtfully, switching his tactic from squeezing to kneading purposefully into Saiki’s lower ribs, grinning when the pink-haired boy arched his back, squealed, and finally dissolved into helpless giggles.

“Aha! There you go, Saiki!”

Saiki pressed his lips together, trying to muffle himself, but Kaidou was relentless in his tickling, and soon he was practically doubled over in hysterics, barely able to stand up on his own. But again, he’d be darned if he’d let them hear him beg. So he just stood there, forced to take it, determined to hold out for as long as they deemed necessary. It was just tickling. He could handle it. Right…?

*

7) Lee Aren, Ler Saiki

“Gah!” Aren whirled around, glaring at the first person he saw who was nearby. “Kaidou!”

“What?” Kaidou asked innocently, looking genuinely confused.

“Don’t do that!”

“Don’t do what?”

Aren grunted, turning around and continuing up the aisle to where Saiki sat. A moment later, he felt another pinch to his other side and whirled again, this time snapping at Nendou.

“What? I didn’t do anything,” Nendou said.

“You all think you’re so funny,” Aren grumbled, his eyes scanning the room. He was trying not to let it show how flustered he was getting, but he knew if someone pinched his side again he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from giggling, and he did not want to giggle.

Saiki sat a few desks up from him, mindlessly flipping through a book, not actually reading anything. He was hyperaware of Aren’s presence approaching him, and he was determined to keep the boy away from him at all costs. He knew his “friend” was intending to invite him to go bike riding with him and Kaidou later, but the psychic wanted none of it.

“Seriously!” Aren cried, whirling a third time, eyes latching onto Chiyo. “Quit tickling me!”

Chiyo blinked up at him. “Tickling you? I didn’t even touch you, Aren.”

Saiki masterfully hid a smirk of his own. He’d been using his powers to poke and prod at Aren’s sides, making him think it was his classmates ganging up on him, and now he’d just outed himself to everyone without the pink-haired boy having to lift a finger. This was perfect.

“You’re ticklish?” Kaidou exclaimed, leaping up from his seat with a big smile. “Why didn’t you say so, Aren?”

Aren took a step back. “W-Wait, no, did I say ticklish? I meant…I meant, uh…” Then he took off at a sprint toward the door, ducking under the teacher just as he entered the classroom. Kaidou was right on his heels, both of them ignoring the protests of their professor.

Saiki smiled. It seemed Aren was sufficiently distracted.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi. You made a post a couple of days ago about how queer historical fiction doesnt need to be defined only by homophobia. Can you expand on that a bit maybe? Because it seems interesting and important, but I'm a little confused as to whether that is responsible to the past and showing how things have changed over time. Anyway this probably isn't very clear, but I hope its not insulting. Have a good day :)

Hiya. I assume you're referring to this post, yes? I think the main parameters of my argument were set out pretty clearly there, but sure, I'm happy to expand on it. Because I'm a little curious as to why you think that writing a queer narrative (especially a queer fictional narrative) that doesn't make much reference to or even incorporate explicit homophobia is (implicitly) not being "responsible to the past." I've certainly made several posts on this topic before, but as ever, my thoughts and research materials change over time. So, okay.

(Note: I am a professional historian with a PhD, a book contract for an academic monograph on medieval/early modern queer history, and soon-to-be-several peer-reviewed publications on medieval queer history. In other words, I'm not just talking out of my ass here.)

As I noted in that post, first of all, the growing emphasis on "accuracy" in historical fiction and historically based media is... a mixed bag. Not least because it only seems to be applied in the Game of Thrones fashion, where the only "accurate" history is that which is misogynistic, bloody, filthy, rampantly intolerant of competing beliefs, and has no room for women, people of color, sexual minorities, or anyone else who has become subject to hot-button social discourse today. (I wrote a critical post awhile ago about the Netflix show Cursed, ripping into it for even trying to pretend that a show based on the Arthurian legends was "historically accurate" and for doing so in the most simplistic and reductive way possible.) This says far more about our own ideas of the past, rather than what it was actually like, but oh boy will you get pushback if you try to question that basic premise. As other people have noted, you can mix up the archaeological/social/linguistic/cultural/material stuff all you like, but the instant you challenge the ingrained social ideas about The Bad Medieval Era, cue the screaming.

I've been a longtime ASOIAF fan, but I do genuinely deplore the effect that it (and the show, which was by far the worst offender) has had on popular culture and widespread perceptions of medieval history. When it comes to queer history specifically, we actually do not know that much, either positive or negative, about how ordinary medieval people regarded these individuals, proto-communities, and practices. Where we do have evidence that isn't just clerical moralists fulminating against sodomy (and trying to extrapolate a society-wide attitude toward homosexuality from those sources is exactly like reading extreme right-wing anti-gay preachers today and basing your conclusions about queer life in 2021 only on those), it is genuinely mixed and contradictory. See this discussion post I likewise wrote a while ago. Queerness, queer behavior, queer-behaving individuals have always existed in history, and labeling them "queer" is only an analytical conceit that represents their strangeness to us here in the 21st century, when these categories of exclusion and difference have been stringently constructed and applied, in a way that is very far from what supposedly "always" existed in the past.

Basically, we need to get rid of the idea that there was only one empirical and factual past, and that historians are "rewriting" or "changing" or "misrepresenting" it when they produce narratives that challenge hegemonic perspectives. This is why producing good historical analysis is a skill that takes genuine training (and why it's so undervalued in a late-capitalist society that would prefer you did anything but reflect on the past). As I also said in the post to which you refer, "homophobia" as a structural conceit can't exist prior to its invention as an analytical term, if we're treating queerness as some kind of modern aberration that can't be reliably talked about until "homosexual" gained currency in the late 19th century. If there's no pre-19th century "homosexuality," then ipso facto, there can be no pre-19th-century "homophobia" either. Which one is it? Spoiler alert: there are still both things, because people are people, but just as the behavior itself is complicated in the premodern past, so too is the reaction to it, and it is certainly not automatic rejection at all times.

Hence when it comes to fiction, queer authors have no responsibility (and in my case, certainly no desire) to uncritically replicate (demonstrably false!) narratives insisting that we were always miserable, oppressed, ostracised, murdered, or simply forgotten about in the premodern world. Queer characters, especially historical queer characters, do not have to constantly function as a political mouthpiece for us to claim that things are so much better today (true in some cases, not at all in the others) and that modernity "automatically" evolved to a more "enlightened" stance (definitely not true). As we have seen with the recent resurgence of fascism, authoritarianism, nationalism, and xenophobia around the world, along with the desperate battle by the right wing to re-litigate abortion, gay rights, etc., social attitudes do not form in a vacuum and do not just automatically become more progressive. They move backward, forward, and side to side, depending on the needs of the societies that produce them, and periods of instability, violence, sickness, and poverty lead to more regressive and hardline attitudes, as people act out of fear and insularity. It is a bad human habit that we have not been able to break over thousands of years, but "[social] things in the past were Bad but now have become Good" just... isn't true.

After all, nobody feels the need to constantly add subtextual disclaimers or "don't worry, I personally don't support this attitude/action" implied authorial notes in modern romances, despite the cornucopia of social problems we have today, and despite the complicated attitude of the modern world toward LGBTQ people. If an author's only reason for including "period typical homophobia" (and as we've discussed, there's no such thing before the 19th century) is that they think it should be there, that is an attitude that needs to be challenged and examined more closely. We are not obliged to only produce works that represent a downtrodden past, even if the end message is triumphal. It's the same way we got so tired of rape scenes being used to make a female character "stronger." Just because those things existed (and do exist!), doesn't mean you have to submit every single character to those humiliations in some twisted name of accuracy.

Yes, as I have always said, prejudices have existed throughout history, sometimes violently so. But that is not the whole story, and writing things that center only on the imagined or perceived oppression is not, at this point, accurate OR helpful. Once again, I note that this is specifically talking about fiction. If real-life queer people are writing about their own experiences, which are oftentimes complex, that's not a question of "representation," it's a question of factual memoir and personal history. You can't attack someone for being "problematic" when they are writing about their own lived experience, which is something a younger generation of queer people doesn't really seem to get. They also often don't realise how drastically things have changed even in my own lifetime, per the tags on my reblog about Brokeback Mountain, and especially in media/TV.

However, if you are writing fiction about queer people, especially pre-20th century queer people, and you feel like you have to make them miserable just to be "responsible to the past," I would kindly suggest that is not actually true at all, and feeds into a dangerous narrative that suggests everything "back then" was bad and now it's fine. There are more stories to tell than just suffering, queer characters do not have to exist solely as a corollary for (inaccurate) political/social commentary on the premodern past, and they can and should be depicted as living their lives relatively how they wanted to, despite the expected difficulties and roadblocks. That is just as accurate, if sometimes not more so, than "they suffered, the end," and it's something that we all need to be more willing to embrace.

[thedisneychef]

How to Create Recipes: The Art and Science of Crafting Dishes

As a foodie, I am always curious about the process of creating delicious recipes. How do chefs come up with these masterpieces? Is there an art to it or is it just a matter of trial and error? In this article, we’ll be exploring how exactly recipes are created – from the brainstorming stages all the way through to publishing them in cookbooks. We will look at why some recipes become timeless classics while others fade into obscurity. We’ll also discuss what makes for a successful recipe and learn tips for coming up with creative ideas that stand out from the crowd. If you’re ready to get cooking, let's jump right in! Brainstorming Ideas I love creating recipes. I start by brainstorming ideas for ingredients and flavor combinations, gathering the necessary items from my pantry or local grocery store. Then, it's time to get cooking! Once I have all of my ingredients together, I experiment with different ways to combine them in order to create something tasty. This process can involve a lot of trial and error, but it's worth it when you come up with an amazing dish! After I've created the recipe, I like to share it with friends and family so that they can give me feedback on how it turned out. That way, I know what changes need to be made before publishing the final version online. Creating recipes is such an enjoyable experience because of all of the creative possibilities that it involves. It takes patience and practice, but with enough effort anyone can become a master chef! Testing And Refining Creating recipes is a fun and creative process that often involves testing different combinations of ingredients to see what works best. I usually start by tasting the individual components, like herbs and spices, seasonings or sauces. Then I mix them together to create new flavor profiles. Once I'm happy with the combination of flavors, it's time to experiment with ingredient substitutions. It can be tricky trying out different ingredients in a recipe without compromising its taste or texture. But when you find something that works, it makes all the hard work worthwhile! After making adjustments for any dietary restrictions or preferences, my final recipe is ready for use. Balancing Flavors Creating recipes is all about finding the right balance of flavors. Experienced cooks and chefs know that flavor combinations are key to successful dishes, so they pay careful attention when creating recipes. They often experiment with different ingredients, seasonings, and methods until something works. I like to focus on seasonal ingredients for my recipes because it gives them a unique twist. Working with what’s in-season can help you create interesting flavor combinations you might not have thought of otherwise. When building out the foundation of a recipe, I start by making sure I have several components: saltiness, sweetness, acidity, and umami (savory richness). From there, I look at how those four elements interact together and adjust as needed until everything comes together in perfect harmony. It's important to keep an open mind while exploring various combinations - some unexpected pairings may surprise you! To ensure success every time I cook or bake something new, I taste each ingredient before adding it into the dish. This way if someone were to ask me why certain flavors work well together in a particular recipe, I'd be able to answer accurately based on personal experience instead of just guessing. No matter what type of food you're working with – from savory entrées to sweet desserts – understanding the basics of balancing flavors will help take your cooking game up a notch! Presenting The Recipe I'm excited to discuss the process of creating a recipe - it's a great way to get creative in the kitchen! First, let's talk about organizing ingredients. What are the best ways to make sure you have all the necessary components before you start cooking? Then, let's discuss techniques - which methods work best to make sure your dish turns out perfectly? I'm sure we can come up with some great tips! Organizing Ingredients I'm sure you've all felt the dread of having to pull together ingredients for a recipe. It's overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be! With some simple tips and tricks, ingredient sourcing can be made easier and more efficient. First, when measuring out your ingredients, try using measuring cups or spoons that are uniform in size. This will help ensure accuracy with your measurements so everything comes out perfectly each time! Additionally, use a scale if possible - this is especially important if you need precise measurements like baking recipes often require. And lastly, make sure to get the freshest ingredients possible. If they're coming from a store, check the expiration dates before buying them! With these easy strategies in mind, organizing your ingredients has never been simpler. So now you know how to sort through what needs to go into each dish without any hassle or stress – happy cooking everyone! Explaining Techniques Now that you've got your ingredients sorted out, it's time to explain how they should be used in a recipe! One key technique is ingredient selection, which essentially involves choosing the right items for the specific dish. For example, if you're making a soup and want it to have a creamy texture, then you'll need to choose an appropriate type of cream or milk. Additionally, menu pairing is another useful method when presenting the recipe. This is simply deciding what other components will work best with the main ingredients and creating a cohesive meal plan. Of course, there are many more techniques that can help make recipes even more delicious than before – so get creative and start experimenting! With these strategies under your belt, cooking up something special has never been easier. Perfecting The Final Product The first step of perfecting the final product is to take those drafting notes and turn them into something tangible. I'm talking about taking all that planning, brainstorming, and imagining and transforming it into a real dish or menu item. This is where culinary techniques come in; depending on what kind of recipe you are creating, there may be certain skills needed to create your masterpiece. For example, if you were making an Italian dish like lasagna, then you'd need to know how to make pasta from scratch as well as how to layer the noodles with other ingredients such as cheese, tomato sauce and vegetables. Or perhaps you want to bake something special for someone's birthday? Then knowledge of baking basics such as preheating the oven correctly, measuring out ingredients accurately, using appropriate pans or molds would be important steps in achieving success. Once you have familiarized yourself with the necessary skill set for completing your recipe successfully, it should just be a matter of following instructions carefully and paying attention to details. It helps immensely when tasting along the way so that adjustments can be made promptly if needed before the dish reaches its final stage. As long as one keeps their focus and has patience throughout this process, they will eventually reach desired results. Frequently Asked Questions What Are The Best Ingredients To Use In A Recipe? Selecting the best ingredients for a recipe can be tricky. It's important to create flavor pairings and balance them with other ingredients. Experiment with different combinations and keep trying new things – you may find your own signature flavors! Pay attention to how each ingredient interacts with others, as this could make or break a dish. Don't forget to think outside of the box, too - try unexpected combinations that might surprise you! How Can I Make A Recipe Healthier? Making a recipe healthier doesn't have to take up too much of your time. You can easily substitute alternative ingredients for classic ones that may be higher in calories or fat, like swapping out heavy cream for low-fat yogurt or even using zucchini noodles instead of traditional pasta. Additionally, you can reduce the amounts of sugar and salt used in any recipe, which will make it all the more tasty and nutritious. With just a few simple changes, you can create healthy recipes without compromising on flavor! What Is The Most Important Part Of Creating A Recipe? Creating a successful recipe is all about finding the right balance of flavors and making sure they work well together. Taste testing should be at the top of your list when it comes to creating recipes - you'll want to make sure that not only do the ingredients taste good on their own, but also in combination with each other. Flavor pairing is key; experiment by combining different ingredient profiles and adjusting amounts as needed until you get just the flavor profile you're looking for! What Type Of Kitchen Equipment Do I Need To Create A Recipe? If you want to create a recipe, there are certain pieces of kitchen equipment that will be essential. From analyzing flavors and researching techniques, having the right tools for the job is key. A good set of kitchen knives, measuring spoons and cups, mixing bowls, cutting boards, an oven thermometer and even a food processor can help take your recipes from great to amazing! Aspiring chefs should also consider investing in other items like blenders or sous vide machines depending on what type of cuisine they plan to tackle. With the right equipment in place, creating delicious recipes is within reach! How Can I Make Sure My Recipes Are Well-Liked By Others? Creating recipes that are well-liked by others is all about making sure you get the flavor combinations just right. To do this, it's important to experiment with different ingredients and test out a few methods before settling on one. Additionally, think about how these flavors may work together in new ways or consider using unusual combinations of spices to give your recipe an extra kick. Ultimately, testing different versions is key to knowing what works best! Conclusion When it comes to creating recipes, there are so many possibilities. It’s important to find the right ingredients that work well together and create a dish that is both delicious and healthy. I also suggest having quality kitchen equipment to use in order to ensure your recipe turns out perfectly every time. Lastly, don't be afraid of trial and error - After all, practice makes perfect! Creating recipes can be incredibly rewarding; not only will you have something tasty to eat but you can take pride in knowing that you created something from scratch. With some patience and careful consideration of the ingredients used, anyone can become an expert chef in their own kitchen. Read the full article

[avtrbee]

Unexpected Secret

inspired by the tumblr post above!

this fic defies almost everyhting that is canon but its really cute and fluffy in my opinion so idc idc idc

Petra was furious.

I’m gonna kill her, Petra thought, mopping away the last of the dirt from the stables. I don’t care how but I’m going to make it look like an accident.

Petra was furious.

Putting her anger on the mop she had gripped in her fist she aggressively wiped the stable floors clean, but her thoughts were somewhere else. Y/N L/N was the reason why she was stuck cleaning the stables during a Friday night when she could’ve spent the day in the market with Oluo buying cute clothes or enjoying a new café or getting drunk or just about anything. 

Petra loved her friend but no matter which way Petra tried to twist the situation, Y/N was the sole reason to blame. Y/N was the one who suggested getting drunk in her room that night, Y/N was the one who suggested the game, Y/N was the one who proposed the punishment, and Y/N was the one who called her a pussy for backing out, so of course Petra had to do it. Petra had to run through the hallway, from the stairway and back to the room naked. 

It didn’t help that Y/N’s room was the farthest room from the stairwell. Petra didn’t have a problem getting naked around Y/N and their friends- they’ve seen each other’s bodies enough with the communal showers and the occasional first aid outside the walls. Petra isn’t ashamed of her own body either, she may look petite but she was hardened muscle from all the training she endured to become the one of the best. Though Y/N had her own private room as one of the Survey Corps’ Section Commander, her floor was also near the other superior’s private spaces. 

Once Petra made it out, she dashed to the stairs as fast as she could before turning back and running like there was a titan behind her to the privacy and safety of Y/N’s room. Until Hange, Levi and Mike came out of Erwin’s room from their own private party only to stare at Petra like she was a dog with three heads. 

Petra could’ve died right there. In fact, she would have preferred it if she did. Hange laughed (“Oh, it’s one of those nights, eh?), Levi looked away with disgust evident in his face and walked to another laughing Y/N, who witnessed the entire incident, instead. Mike just stood there with his brain probably short circuiting and nose occasionally twitching. To make matters worse, Erwin came outside to see what Hange was laughing about.

I’m gonna kill her, Petra thought, mopping away the last of the dirt from the stables. I don’t care how but I’m going to make it look like an accident.

Petra looked up from her hard work and wiped her forehead. She smelled like horse shit and probably looked like one too. A few yards away from her clean stable stood Y/N and Eren together under the sun with Mikasa not so far running towards them.

Petra watched as Mikasa hastily put herself between Y/N and Eren with a glare on her face. Was it really a glare or was it just Mikasa’s usual stoic face? Petra didn’t care- a plan was slowly starting to form in her head. 

-

Petra didn’t bother rushing to the cafeteria to get first in line like she usually would. Instead she ate some heavy snacks before and took her time. Thinking back, Y/N was the only one out of her superiors to sit on another table other than the space designated for them. She usually sat with Eren, with Levi occasionally joining them. 

Once she strolled inside, the place was packed with soldiers along with hundreds of conversations going on at the same time. Perfect. Just as she planned. Just as she thought, Y/N and Eren were chatting away alone on one table with Mikasa several tables away shooting them looks every now and then.

Petra smiled. Victory tastes so sweet. She slowed down her steps and savored her way to victory as she walked over to Mikasa. “Oi, Mikasa.” she said obnoxiously loud, gathering the attention of several people.

Mikasa turned her head from Eren and Y/N’s table, and stared at her with her cold gray eyes. “Yes, Petra?”

Petra giggled, unable to keep her mood down. “Y’know, Y/N told me a secret.” She said, voice getting louder with every word.

Behind her, Petra heard Y/N speak. “Done from the stables, darling?”

Faint snickers from around the hall erupted. No doubt the story has already gone around. Petra felt a nerve in her head pop. That almost got her. Almost. 

Ignoring the rest of the people, Mikasa kept her eyes on her. “What did she say?”

She crouched down and put a hand on her cheek like she was about to whisper. “She told me that she loves Eren, very, very much.”

Silence. 

Utter silence. 

From the corner of her eye she sees that Sasha had a spoon halfway through her mouth filled with seconds of today’s dinner, while Jean and Connie’s eyes were darting back and forth to her and Y/N, who had gone up from her seat and was walking towards her.

Petra stood back and let herself smile a truly evil smile. That’s what you get, Y/N. You bitch. To be honest, Y/N was probably going to beat her up. Petra didn’t care. She could try if Mikasa won’t get to her first.

Mikasa blinked. “Well, I sure hope so. Eren and I love her just as much.”

Wait- “What?” 

That wasn’t the reaction she was expecting.

“Oi, oi, Mikasa. You’re going to make your mother cry. I’ve never heard you speak like that before.” Y/N clasped a hand on Petra’s shoulder. Y/N had this smirk as if asking oh is this what you planned?

Huh, wait- “Mother? You mean-”

At the same time, Mikasa looked at Y/N. “Okasan, I have told you I loved you many times.”

“What do you mean okasan- are you-?” Petra turned her head to Y/N. 

Y/N leaned shifted her weight on one leg and crossed her arms. She was smiling, probably enjoying Petra’s confusion. “Yes. I am.”

“But-” Petra stuttered. “Eren too?”

“Yes.” Y/N laughed. Petra should’ve been furious, but at this point she was too focused on solving this familial situation she accidentally uncovered. Plus, everyone was listening in. They were curious too.

Petra shoved her hands in her hair. “They’re siblings?”

“Well, I thought we’ve established that before.” Y/N replied. 

“But I thought- Mikasa was charging at you because you were with Eren just a while ago!” 

Y/N deflated. “Oh, that. I was scolding the brat. He was reckless during the last expedition again. You’d remember, you were the one who saved him.” Fuck. Yes, Petra remembered very well. She almost lost her right hand because of that boy. “Mikasa just came over to protect her brother. I might’ve gone overboard too…”

“Then why isn’t Mikasa sitting with you?”

“Oh, I’ve been encouraging her to interact with people other than family. She barely has friends, y’know.”

“Don’t they have different last names?” Petra asked. She was losing her sanity. 

“What, Jeager? L/N was my dad’s. Jeager my mother’s name, I had him when I was young. And, well, technically, Mikasa isn’t mine by blood.” Y/N sat down beside the girl and slung her arm around Mikasa. “She came with my marriage. She’s still my daughter though.” Petra saw Mikasa hide a smile under her scarf.

“Married?” Petra asked. “You’re married?”

“Yup,” Y/N replied, popping her words. “When are you and Oluo gonna tie the knot, by the way-”

Petra couldn't even be bothered to blush at the question. She saw Oluo choke on his food from their usual table though. “Is he in the military?” 

“Yes. We met years before he was in the military though.”

“Is he in the Survey Corps?”

Y/N grinned. “Yes.”

“Is he a superior officer?”

Y/N’s smile grew wider. “Yes.”

Petra felt dread creep down her spine. “Is it Commander Smith?” If Petra really did just try to call out the commander’s wife in front of everyone, she’s dead meat. She’s probably gonna clean the stables on Fridays forever. 

To her relief Y/N said, “Pssh, Mikasa isn’t blonde y’know.”

Petra was losing her patience. “Then who the fuck is it-”

“They literally have the same last name Petra.”

Silence.

Only this time, Petra wasn’t smiling. Her brain was probably overheated from all the information Y/N gave her.

“Oi, Petra” said Levi who was coming inside the cafeteria. “What the hell is going on?”

“Captain!” She squeaked, not expecting his voice. Perfect timing too. 

“Don’t tease her anymore, Levi. It’s my fault, I was just telling her about our familial situation.” Y/N said. 

“Tch,” Levi lightly slapped Y/N at the back of her head. “What happened to keeping it a secret?” 

“Oh, well, they were bound to know anyway. Your son over there can’t keep his mouth shut, I’m surprised he lasted this long.” Y/N nodded to Eren back to her table while the latter hid his face on the table, occasionally banging his fist on the wood. “Though I didn’t expect them to find out this way though...and the entire Survey Corps for that matter.”

“You’ve caused us a nuisance.” Levi deadpanned at Y/N- at his wife? Petra was still trying to comprehend everything.

“Let’s go home.” Levi announced, heading out of the cafeteria. “I can’t stand to be stared at any longer. It’s making me feel like a pig with fucking wings.”

At the words of their Captain- Father?- Mikasa and Eren stood up and picked up their empty food trays. 

Oh, that's right. Petra knew that Y/N and Levi had a separate house somewhere near their HQ; she just didn’t even consider the possibility that they were living together. Fuck, she has seen them leaving too, but she just assumed that they were walking each other because they lived in the same neighborhood or something. 

Petra even spotted Mikasa and Y/N together in the market shopping for vegetables, but she thought it was only a kind gesture. Y/N can be like that sometimes. She even spotted Eren and Levi inside a cleaning shop when she was buying a new mop once. And Mikasa and Levi’s surnames? Petra didn’t even suspect anything because it was common knowledge in the Corps that two of their strongest soldiers had the same last name- had none of them suspected anything?

Looking around, Petra spotted similar confused faces like her own. Ah, so no one did. 

She felt her legs give up on her and plopped on the seat Mikasa previously sat on. She watched as Levi, Y/N, and their children walked out the cafeteria with a blank stare. What the fuck just happened? 

btww,,,the vibe of reader and petra here are like really close friends that tease each other a lot. i can understand why people think that petra seems like the “villain” here but i swear its just that kind of friendship 😭 im sorry if it didnt deliver properly but ill try better next time !!

[meggannn]

guerrilla does something interesting in HZD with aloy and her motivations and how they let her goals differ from the player's goals. most of the time when a main character's driving goals differ from the audience's, it means the writing has misfired and it feels jarring when you shine a spotlight on it. but it definitely works in HZD because guerilla knew what the player's immediate interests would be—they open their game with huge scenic shots of a pre-industrial community contrasted with these enormous robot dinosaurs! they want you to be sucked into the mystery of why things are the way they are—and they also knew going in that they had had to tie the player's interests to aloy's goals as a character (john gonzalez, the narrative director, talks about it a bit in this interview). and over time, the two start to bleed over as aloy starts to care about the old ones and we start to care more about her. i don't know if they'll continue this strategy in HFW, but they've set themselves up in a really unique situation with the contrast of aloy's focus on the present/future and the audience's interest (mostly) in the past.

i've been trying to find a way to articulate the ideas in this post for a while, and i am really tired so forgive me if this gets redundant or some sentences don't make sense lol. spoilers for HZD obv

in HZD, aloy, the motherless outcast, is largely concentrated on finding out the mystery of her origins. i mean hopefully we, the player, are also interested in that because it's a pretty unique set up (it's not possible for someone to not have a birth mother... right?), but i'm willing to bet that most of the audience was overwhelmingly more interested in figuring out what the hell happened to the old ones of this world (us) and why robots are wandering around everywhere, than we were about figuring out what happened to aloy's mom. (i'm aware that is a large assumption, but i think it's a pretty safe one considering the reactions i see when people finish the game usually mention APOLLO in some way, or ask if it's still around or there's a way to bring it back.)

for aloy, the status quo of robots-that-nobody-really-understands wandering around is just a constant of her life, and discovering her mother is her pressing issue. for us, this world's major differences between our world (why did we die off and why are robots now the dominant species on earth) are more fascinating. so guerrilla ties the micro and macro mysteries together so that we are also interested in aloy's journey about her origins: by making the story of her birth and the history of the world woven into the same narrative fabric

aloy even directly says "it (finding out info on the past) isn't why i'm here" and sylens replies sarcastically "of course, what's the whole of human history compared to the search of one girl?" it isn't until after aloy realizes she's a clone, that she doesn't have a traditional birth mother, when she faces the nora and decides to stop HADES because GAIA asked her to, in a sign of extreme maturity and character growth (imo), does her goal of helping GAIA by beating HADES now start to align with the player's goals of trying to "set the world right" (by helping GAIA by beating HADES).

it's interesting because if anything, sylens, the anti-hero and arguable deuteragonist, is the character whose goals most match up with the audience's own throughout HZD: he's the one who is seeking out the knowledge of the old ones, he's the one who mourns losing APOLLO the way we do. aloy doesn't really react to what became of APOLLO at all (when it's revealed what happened to it, her immediate response is sorrow over the alphas' deaths, the more human element compared to sylens's laser focus on info-hunting). sylens is... also a total asshole and might be an anti-villain in the upcoming games (i hope not; i hope he's more of a rogue agent than an actual villain, personally) so it will be interesting if the audience eventually starts feeling torn between aloy's goals (save the world today) and sylens's (recover what can be saved the world of the old ones)

for aloy, APOLLO's absence is not a loss because she's never known a world without the knowledge of the old ones. why does she care about expending energy to hunt for info on our music and art and politics and wars? how does shifting through datapoints about things she doesn't understand and tools/tech she doesn't have access to help the planet today? after discovering GAIA's origins and purpose, i'm sure she'd probably be interested in recovering APOLLO if there is anything left of it to recover—even she's only interested in it to honor samina/elisabet's memory and the effort of PZD—but a lot of the fandom (myself included) keeps hoping and speculating and wondering if APOLLO is still around because APOLLO is the audience, or rather, it's the last scraps of what's left of us. we have an interest in APOLLO but aloy never shows any interest in or sorrow over it besides to vaguely wonder what happened to it. her interests are in the here and now.

when the audience looks at her world, we see what we've lost, and we know APOLLO is a way to get some of it back. for aloy, she's definitely engaged and interested in the old ones' technology and wants to make sure PZD's work is continued and restored and rebuild GAIA, so if APOLLO turns out to be around i'm sure she'd be interested in it, but for now, she's got too many things going on to consider it a priority. and even if she did, it would have to come after she's taken care of the immediate threats of the other chaotic subfunctions; and she would have to justify the time and energy spent on APOLLO to the value it gives her world (a world that doesn't utilize focuses as much as PZD had hoped, and a world whose language has likely changed enough that they might not even understand what they were being told) because she'd have to do it for her world. her world is already here, the old ones' world is gone, and her world the one that needs saving, not the possibility of bringing the old ones' back

so guerrilla has set themselves up with something very interesting here imo where the protag and the audience have mostly aligned but largely separate primary interests and i'm very curious to see how these interests will keep aligning, or not, in the future. personally i think they'll make the main focus of the series discovering and befriending the subfunctions and restoring GAIA, while also wrestling with modern-day politics in an effort to start preparing contemporary groups of people for a more holistic understanding of nature and machines, with the hopes of preparing them for GAIA's return and a future where they 1. take care of the planet and 2. stop attacking machines for parts lol. and i think they'll drag out the mystery of APOLLO possibly still being around until the end (assuming there will be 3 or more games).

personally, when i look at what we've been given so far (everything could change when HFW comes out), i could go either way on if APOLLO is still actually around or not. it would be an interesting (if expected) twist, but i wouldn't want it as wish fulfillment; i wouldn't want it to be used as a cheat that suddenly means ted faro's harm can be negated, or brought back as a HEA in a way that implies knowledge will suddenly be used and spread equally or even easily. also we should consider APOLLO is now an AI of its own! it will have opinions and things and the will to act on them!

discounting the overwhelmingly difficult logistics of introducing APOLLO to a new world that has evolved without its involvement from its inception, if APOLLO comes back in the way the we, the audience, want it to, then spreading several millennia's worth of knowledge to several diverse, warring peoples is full of difficult challenges that you are now suddenly introducing; aloy + GAIA + co. would now be in charge of not only taking care of humans on this spinning ball called earth, but also educating them equally and fairly. it's a huge task to introduce on aloy's already very busy schedule! so frankly i wouldn't be surprised if they wrote APOLLO off and went with an "it sucks but we have to make the most of the world the old ones left us" angle—or, alternatively, have aloy (or sylens!) dedicate the rest of her life traveling and hunting down and/or spreading what remains of APOLLO'S knowledge?

idk! there's a lot to dissect here about what guerrilla is doing and where APOLLO fits in as both a possible ally/villain and a narrative tool to keep us interested (it is a carrot on the stick for the audience)! and i find it all very interesting!!

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 70

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Link to ongoing Taida Translations

Chapter 70: Appetite

Can't help it anymore. When he heard Qin Budai say this, Lin Qiushi felt a chill deep in his bones. The person before him wore fresh blood on his lips, and stared at him with a pair of silent, red-veined eyes. The look that was so clearly stifling something lifted a light layer of goosebumps along Lin Qiushi's arms. All of Lin Qiushi's instincts were ringing the alarm—that the person in front of him was very, very dangerous.

Qin Budai gradually got closer and closer. His footsteps finally halted before Lin Qiushi, and he slowly called out Lin Qiushi's name. His tone was both cloying and cold, sending very mixed signals.

At that moment, Lin Qiushi wanted to turn and run. But he also felt that the instant he left his back open, something completely out of his control would happen. So he thoroughly smothered that urge to escape and hide, and instead said, "Qin Budai, are you alright?"

Qin Budai smiled eerily at Lin Qiushi. "I'm fine." It probably would've been better if he hadn't smiled at all; it only made his expression seem more twisted.

Just as the two stood in stalemate, Chen Fei's voice came warily from outside the kitchen. "What are you two doing?"

Chen Fei reached and flipped the light switch on the wall. The entire kitchen lit up, and he got a good look at the scene before him.

"Qin Budai— What are you doing?" His gaze fell on that slab of meat Qin Budai had been chewing on, and the moment after he asked this question, he seemed to comprehend exactly what Qin Budai had done. There was a brief hitch in his breath. "You just came out of a door?"

Qin Budai slowly nodded.

"Hungry?" Chen Fei sounded very calm, like he saw nothing wrong at all with the scene before him. "Let me cook you something to eat."

Qin Budai didn't speak, just turned and left.

Watching him go, Chen Fei didn't stop him, just sighed lightly.

"What in the world happened?" Lin Qiushi wasn't as experienced as Chen Fei, and couldn't understand what was going on with Qin Budai. Honestly, Qin Budai’s current state reminded Lin Qiushi of the monsters inside the doors.

"He's probably been affected by the door world." Chen Fei went to the fridge, and pulled out a steak. He really was planning to cook it for Qin Budai. "The human psyche is a fragile thing. After a strong shock, it can be prone to disorder." After saying this, he glanced over at Lin Qiushi. "Not everyone can accept things as calmly as you can."

Lin Qiushi didn't know what to say.

"The worst situation is when everybody else is dead, but the door and the key haven't appeared." Chen Fei lit the stove, heated the oil, and set the steak into the pan with a sizzle. "You're trapped alone inside the door, not knowing how long you'll be stuck there…"

His voice got lower and lower.

It was indeed nightmarish.

To be trapped inside alone. Just the thought of it sent chills throughout the body. Lin Qiushi leaned against the threshold. "Qin Budai… will be okay, right?"

Chen Fei shook his head. "I don't know."

Lin Qiushi, "what do you mean you don't know?"

Chen Fei, "I mean that I don't know if he'll get better, if he can separate reality from the world of the doors."

Lin Qiushi frowned. "If he can't?"

Chen Fei's motions paused, and a self-mocking smile appeared across his face. "If he can't? If he can't… Then he's done for."

Killing people inside the door was fine, but in reality, there were laws and sanctions in place.

Plus, people like this became very dangerous. They may not murder, but they still may commit some other drastic crime. People who could not distinguish between the inside and outside could not continue staying at the mansion. Of course, this wasn't something Chen Fei told Lin Qiushi, because he didn't think it necessary.

The steak was done. Chen Fei plated and brought it to the dining table outside, handing it to Qin Budai.

Qin Budai cut the steak apart with a fork and knife, but his peripherals lingered on Lin Qiushi. He still felt hungry, and the steak before him was incapable of satiating that full-body, anxious gluttony he felt. But he didn't dare make it apparent—could only keep his head down, pretending to be happily chowing down.

Chen Fei watched from the side. Lin Qiushi noticed his brow furrowed in a knot, and a certain scrutiny in his eyes, like he was in the middle of diagnosing Qin Budai's condition.

Chen Fei asked, "what did you see inside the door?"

At the mention of the door, Qin Budai couldn't help a whole-body shiver. He opened his mouth, but said nothing even after a moment, like words couldn't possibly describe the world he'd seen.

Chen Fei, "hm?"

Qin Budai's reply was vague. "It was a very scary world. There wasn't much to eat. I was hungry the whole time."

Chen Fei didn't speak, sinking into thought.

Qin Budai finished the steak, and very politely bid them good night, returning upstairs to sleep.

Lin Qiushi stayed where he was, watching him go. He still felt there was something off with Qin Budai, but he couldn’t concretely say what it was.

Chen Fei said, "I'll ask Ruan-ge tomorrow."

Lin Qiushi, "ask him what?"

Chen Fei sighed, "which world Qin Budai went into, of course." Qin Budai was a newbie, still entering the first round of doors right now. He didn't have Lin Qiushi's luck—the group only took him through a couple of doors, and left him on his own for the most recent one.

Lin Qiushi nodded his agreement.

That night, Lin Qiushi didn't sleep very well. His mind, as he tossed and turned, was filled with the image of Qin Budai eating that raw meat. To tell the truth, after seeing that scene, even his sense of distinction between reality and the world of the doors felt blurred. It was an awful feeling, and left him filled with unease.

The next day, Lin Qiushi went downstairs sporting twin bags under his eyes.

Cheng Qianli had just come back from walking Toast, and Toast was twitching its fat little butt around, chasing and playing with Chestnut.

Cheng Qianli saw Lin Qiushi's severe lack of sleep, and said, "what happened? You look like you haven't woken up yet."

Lin Qiushi yawned. "It's nothing. I stayed up too late last night."

Cheng Qianli, "oh. Come eat breakfast then. My brother just cooked."

Cheng Yixie made porridge, along with a few small dishes. He was sitting and slowly eating at the table. Lin Qiushi went over to say good morning. Then he also grabbed a bowl to eat.

The people inside the mansion all began to gradually wake. Lin Qiushi saw Chen Fei. Then he also saw Qin Budai.

Qin Budai no longer had that scary aura from last night about him. He'd changed into a fresh outfit, and wore a smile. He approached Lin Qiushi and said, "good morning."

Lin Qiushi, "good morning."

"Sorry to scare you last night," Qin Budai said. "I'd just come out a door, and hadn't quite gotten myself together." He smiled, eyes rainbowing in a friendly expression. "I really am sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Lin Qiushi said. "You've… gotten yourself together now?"

Qin Budai nodded, indicating he has.

Chen Fei sat next to them, watching the two interact. He was examining Qin Budai without giving anything away, clearly not completely believing Qin Budai's excuse.

Not long after Ruan Nanzhu also came down. He maintained his typical aloofness, and made to head out after eating, before Chen Fei stopped him.

"Ruan-ge," Chen Fei said. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

Ruan Nanzhu nodded, and the two went off into a corner.

Lin Qiushi knew Chen Fei was likely telling Ruan Nanzhu about what happened with Qin Budai. To tell the truth, the current Qin Budai didn't seem off at all. It was difficult to link him to the person manically consuming raw meat the night before. But however his psyche was actually doing, if he'd gotten better, Lin Qiushi couldn't be the judge. So he thought this matter was better left to Chen Fei.

Lin Qiushi finished eating, and returned to his room.

Spring had just ripened. Sunlight spilled in brilliance, a cool breeze caressed, and Lin Qiushi sat at his window, turning on his computer to browse that forum open only to people who'd been inside the doors.

There were lots of interesting posts on this forum. Lin Qiushi had already developed the habit of reading through them daily. Casually, he plucked a piece of candy from his table and popped it in his mouth. He moved the mouse and began browsing the posts.

The posts were a mess, and full of strange tales.

Some discussed the world inside the doors, others mentioned urban legends. Others still organized same-city meet-ups.

Lin Qiushi read through them with fascination.

Because they'd just come from a door, Ruan Nanzhu hadn't organized any activities for Lin Qiushi, just letting him rest.

Lin Qiushi thought that wasting away a day like this actually felt quite comfortable. He ate lunch, took a nap, and let the day pass by just like that.

After Chen Fei spoke to Ruan Nanzhu that morning, the two left the mansion. Nobody knew where they'd gone off to.

But Lin Qiushi was already used to them appearing and disappearing at will, and wasn't curious at all.

Cheng Qianli and Cheng Yixie though, were gone as well. Lin Qiushi guessed Cheng Yixie had brought Cheng Qianli into some lower level doors for training.

There was still Yi Manman, Lu Yanxue, and Qin Budai inside the mansion. The four of them ate a simple dinner, and Lin Qiushi retired to his room to rest.

After a shower, Lin Qiushi lied on his bed playing sudoku. This inconsequential game was always quick to calm his mood, and also had the benefit of making him sleepy.

As he gradually filled the boxes, however, he heard a knock at his door.

"Who is it?" Lin Qiushi went to door and pulled it open, to find Qin Budai standing there.

Qin Budai said, "hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Lin Qiushi blinked. "Right now?"

Qin Budai nodded.

Lin Qiushi hesitated. "Sure… Let's go talk in the study. Give me a second, I'll come over after I change." He was in his pajamas after all.

Qin Budai quietly watched Lin Qiushi. Currently, Lin Qiushi was dressed in white cotton pajamas, and his long elegant neck and his pretty collarbones were all on display. Lin Qiushi was handsome, with a gentle temperament. He looked instantly easy to get along with. He also looked… tasty.

Qin Budai suddenly licked his lips.

Lin Qiushi eyed him warily. "Qin Budai?" He felt there was something off about the person in front of him.

Qin Budai said, "I only need five minutes. I'll be quick." As he spoke, he squeezed his way through Lin Qiushi's bedroom door.

Lin Qiushi noticed his motions, and took a step back, moving into a defensive position. "Do you need something?"

Qin Budai watched Lin Qiushi. In his eyes surfaced an indescribable hunger.

Goosebumps. Lin Qiushi, "Qin Budai?"

Qin Budai, "I…"

But before he'd finished speaking, he was already lunging at Lin Qiushi.

Though Lin Qiushi had been prepared, Qin Budai still ran into him straight on with great force, knocking Lin Qiushi flat onto the bed.

Lin Qiushi, "Qin—"

Just as the name left his lips, Qin Budai's fingers gripped tight over his mouth. This wasn't the strength of a human at all—Qin Budai could force down all of Lin Qiushi's struggling with a single hand. Lin Qiushi's eyes widened, watching Qin Budai's covetous gaze fixate on his neck.

"Just one taste," Qin Budai spoke lightly. "I'll just have one taste…" He bent down, and began lapping along Lin Qiushi's chin.

Lin Qiushi remembered the slab of meat that Qin Budai tore apart the night before, and began struggling anew with all his strength. But Qin Budai's strength made his efforts seem like a mayfly throwing itself against the trunk of a tree.

Qin Budai, staring at Lin Qiushi's throat, swallowed. He parted his lips, revealing the white rows of teeth, and went to bite…

"Mmph…" Lin Qiushi continued to fight.

Just as he felt the cold touch of Qin Budai's teeth, there came knocking at the door. Fear peering through his expression, Qin Budai glanced at the door.

Dong, dong, dong. The knocks continued.

Lin Qiushi met Qin Budai's gaze. He'd thought that now somebody was here, Qin Budai would release him—but instead, there was resolution in Qin Budai's eyes.

"Sorry," Qin Budai spoke lowly right next to Lin Qiushi's ear. "You look too appetizing. I really… can't help it anymore. Even if I'm discovered, I don't want to let go…" His teeth remained on Lin Qiushi's neck, and began to apply pressure.

Lin Qiushi's eyes shot wide open as he felt the dull pain spread along his skin. He didn't think Qin Budai would actually bite.

With a loud bang!, the locked door was kicked open.

Qin Budai, lying over Lin Qiushi's body, was seized by a pair of hands, lifted up, and brutally thrown against the wall. Qin Budai shouted in pain, while Lin Qiushi fumbled to sit up in bed. He saw Ruan Nanzhu, with a chilly expression.

Ruan Nanzhu didn't speak. He approached Qin Budai, taking a green bronze ornament off a side table as he went, then grabbed Qin Budai's chin to pry his mouth open.

Terrified, Qin Budai was trembling all over.

Ruan Nanzhu's tone dipped to cold frost. He said, "if you like eating so much, have at it." Then he shoved the thing right into Qin Budai's mouth, breaking off two of Qin Budai's teeth along the way.

Qin Budai completely fainted from the pain. It was only then that Ruan Nanzhu released his hand, and returned to Lin Qiushi. There was a deep furrow in his brow, and he seemed to be in a terrible mood.

"Alright?"

Lin Qiushi, "I'm fine."

He said, "I was careless."

He hadn't thought that Qin Budai would attack him under circumstances like this. Though Chen Fei had already warned Lin Qiushi, he'd still underestimated the effect the door had on Qin Budai.

Ruan Nanzhu stared at Lin Qiushi.

Lin Qiushi was made horribly self-conscious by his gaze. He noticed it was fixed on his neck, and so reached to touch. It was only then that he noticed the teeth mark Qin Budai left on his throat… Though no skin had been broken, it still hurt.

Did this need a tetanus shot or what… As Lin Qiushi was thinking this, Ruan Nanzhu suddenly bent down over him.

Startled by Ruan Nanzhu's motions, Lin Qiushi was just about to ask what he was doing, when he caught Lin Qiushi firmly by the arms—the next moment, the spot where he'd been bitten was being roughly rubbed at. Lin Qiushi's first reaction was that Ruan Nanzhu had somehow been infected by Qin Budai's abnormal condition, and so shoved hard and shouted in pain: "Ruan Nanzhu—calm down!! It's me, it's Lin Qiushi!!"

Ruan Nanzhu bit. Only after staying there for a handful of seconds did he release the bite, looking down with satisfaction at the mark that was now covered over by his mark on Lin Qiushi's neck. Likely because he'd heard Lin Qiushi's shouts, he spoke evenly, "I know you're Lin Qiushi."

"Were you contaminated?" Lin Qiushi clasped his neck, hissing at the pain. "What did you bite me for?!"

Ruan Nanzhu spat out a single word: "Disinfection."

Lin Qiushi, "…" What the hell was wrong with Ruan Nanzhu.

After saying this, Ruan Nanzhu dragged off the fainted Qin Budai and left. Lin Qiushi looked over the mess of his room and the broken door, and for a moment didn't know what to do at all.

Qin Budai's bite hadn't torn skin, but Ruan Nanzhu's had. Lin Qiushi inspected his wound, warily wondering he needed to go get a rabies shot or something. He'd never been bitten by a person before, and so searched online for what to do.

Turned out he should've left it alone. The search left Lin Qiushi scared out of his wits, thinking he was likely going to kick it that very night.

And so bright and early the next morning Lin Qiushi rushed to the hospital. After taking a look at his wound, the doctor said, with meaning, "you youngsters need to control yourselves."

Lin Qiushi, "…" Control what, control their diets?

The doctor said, "you don't need a vaccine, just a disinfection should be fine. As long as the person who bit you doesn't have any infectious diseases there shouldn't be any problems."

Lin Qiushi, "but the search engine said…"

The doctor slapped the table. "Can you all stop going to the search engine when you're sick? Don't you just feel more terminal the more you use it?" The doctor looked maybe thirty-one, thirty-two—still quite young. He prescribed Lin Qiushi some bit of medicine, and waved him off in disgust.

Lin Qiushi returned to the mansion.

After Qin Budai was taken away last night, Lin Qiushi didn't ask what would be done with him. Today, he was nowhere to be seen. Lin Qiushi didn't see Ruan Nanzhu either, and so went to ask Chen Fei in private.

Chen Fei looked at the wound on Lin Qiushi's neck, and sighed: "It was my fault, I shouldn't have left him on his own. I thought he'd at least be able to bear it, but who knew his self-control would be so awful?"

Lin Qiushi, "so where is he now?" The way Ruan Nanzhu dragged him off last night looked like he was being taken straight to the crematorium.

"He's been sent somewhere else," Chen Fei said. "There's a place dedicated to people like him. After being affected by the doors, the way he acts in reality will be off, so he needs counseling."

Whether or not the counseling would work was another story. But this sort of person was dangerous wherever they put him. Had Ruan Nanzhu not shown up last night, Qin Budai might have straight up bitten Lin Qiushi to death.

Lin Qiushi, "oh…" He thought for a bit, before asking quietly, "and Nanzhu? How come I haven't seen him around?"

Chen Fei, "I think he went out for an errand."

Then he asked, "is your wound alright though? He broke skin. Did you get it checked out at the hospital?"

Lin Qiushi thought that no skin would've been broken had Ruan Nanzhu not given him that extra bite. And he'd claimed it was disinfection, but his bite was way harsher—it was ridiculous. Not that Lin Qiushi said any of this out loud. He only shook his head to indicate he was alright, and that he'd already been to the hospital.

After that, Qin Budai disappeared from the mansion.

With great synchronicity, nobody asked where he'd gone. Even Cheng Qianli, who was least capable of reading people, didn't mention him again.

They all seemed already prepared for sudden goodbyes.

Only three days after the incident did Lin Qiushi see Ruan Nanzhu again. At that point his wound had scabbed over. He came in from walking Toast with Cheng Qianli, and saw Ruan Nanzhu sitting in the living room eating some fruit.

Hearing their footsteps, Ruan Nanzhu only glanced up, looking them over with a placid gaze.

"Ruan-ge, you're back," Cheng Qianli greeted happily.

"Mh," Ruan Nanzhu replied. Then he looked at Lin Qiushi.

For some reason, Lin Qiushi felt a bit self-conscious. He'd felt that Ruan Nanzhu had been off that night, and was still a bit strange today.

"It's healed?" Ruan Nanzhu spoke.

Lin Qiushi knew Ruan Nanzhu was asking after his wound, and nodded. "It's healed."

"Oh," Ruan Nanzhu said.

Maybe Lin Qiushi was overthinking it, but he thought he heard a hint of disappointment in Ruan Nanzhu's tone.

Lin Qiushi continued, "thank you for that night…" Had it not been for Ruan Nanzhu, he would likely be dead already.

Ruan Nanzhu, "don't worry about it."

Lin Qiushi hesitated. "Qin Budai, will he get better?"

Ruan Nanzhu slowly chewed the fruit in his mouth, swallowed, and then answered Lin Qiushi's question: "I don't know. He determines his own fortune."

Lin Qiushi, "things like this had happened before?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "like clockwork."

Lin Qiushi didn't think he'd get this sort of answer.

"Out of a hundred newbies, ninety-nine will develop mental conditions." Ruan Nanzhu stood. "The last one is Cheng Qianli."

Hearing this off to the side, Cheng Qianli looked confused, and asked, "what do you mean the last one is Cheng Qianli?"

Affectionately, Lin Qiushi petted Cheng Qianli's head. "Nothing, Ruan-ge's just complimenting you."

Cheng Qianli, "oh. Heheheh."

Lin Qiushi thought that to be on the same level of foolish as Cheng Qianli was actually not so easy…

"Prepare yourself," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Cheng Yixie's ninth door is opening soon."

Lin Qiushi's heart jolted. "I'm going too?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "you don't want to go?"

Lin Qiushi, "I… I don't know…"

But Ruan Nanzhu didn't force it, only spoke evenly, "it's fine if you don't want to. You have three days to think about it."

Lin Qiushi nodded in acceptance.

Once he'd said this, Ruan Nanzhu turned and left. Watching him go, Cheng Qianli said he didn't know why, but he felt that recently, the feeling Ruan-ge gave off was different than before.

Lin Qiushi asked, "what's different about it?" To tell the truth, after going through the Qin Budai incident, he realized he was too complacent in the real world. Had this been inside the doors, he'd have never let Qin Budai in.

"I don't know." Cheng Qianli scratched at his foolish head. "I can't really say…"

Lin Qiushi eyed Cheng Qianli, and for a moment fretted how the boy before him was supposed to pass through the rest of those doors. He could too easily imagine Cheng Yixie, with his heart completely broken with worry for his foolish younger brother.

Author's Note:

I'm taking advantage of the good weather today to wash my cat. Everybody wish blessings of peace upon me.

[Ch. 69] | [Ch. 71]

[mianavs]

meeting the zoldycks pt. 1

part 7 of Cathexis

a/n: we’re finally here~ splitting this up into 2 parts to make it more readable.

wc: 2.2k

Cathexis

Pangs of pain from your leg jostled you awake to a foreign room. With your instincts kicking in, you tried moving only to realize your right leg was in a hard cast and the events that led to your injury replayed in your head ending with the feel of Illumi’s strong arms carrying you to his car. 

Your eyes examined the dimly lit but well-furbished room for a hint that would dispel the growing fear in your chest regarding your whereabouts only to watch a Zoldyck butler come in with a tray of medical supplies that included a syringe needle.

Before you could utter a word, the young female butler set down the tray and rushed out of the room.

Anxious, you dragged your body to the edge of the bed and ignored the growing ache in your leg. Just when you were about to set your legs over the edge, purple bruising on your arm caught your eye and halted your progress. Darting your eyes up to the syringe needle the butler brought in, your mind pieced together everything and the realization you’d been sedated broke your composure.

Like clockwork, the door opened to reveal Illumi who entered the room and closed the door behind him. He approached your bed and trailed his impassive eyes over your form, lingering on your casted leg, before breaking the silence.

“How do you feel?”

“How long have I been here?” Your voice was hoarse from disuse but that didn’t stop the questions spilling from your lips. “Why am I here? What happened to bodies? Where’s my phone?”

Illumi’s eyes narrowed the slightest before repeating his question but you disregarded his question yet again.

“I need to get out of here. Ruo Wen is prob—”

Illumi’s bloodlust cut you off as the air in the room seemed to thicken and your surroundings blurred until all you could focus on was the man before you. Beads of cold sweat dotted your skin as fear coursed through your veins in the presence of such malicious Ren. You were trembling like a leaf when Illumi spoke once again.

“How. Do. You. Feel?”

You opened you mouth to speak but nothing came out as your eyes remained fixed on Illumi’s. As if he was pleased with your shaken state of mind, the bloodlust receded and your vision and breathing returned to normal.

“…F-fine! I’m fine…can I go now?” You sputtered, still reeling from the malice that’d permeated the air seconds ago.

Illumi quirked his head. “Not in this state. Your leg needs to heal completely.”

“I can recover at home just as easily.”

Illumi’s face twisted into an eerie smile. “After your little incident, I don’t think I can trust you being on your own—at least not like this.” His eyes trailed to your injured leg and your face flushed in embarrassment at the reminder of your defeat against Saul’s men.

“It was your fault he came for me.” You muttered, avoiding Illumi’s haunting gaze.

“I know. That’s why I took the job to kill him.” He replied absent-mindedly.

“So, you weren’t tracking me?” You cringed at how the question sounded but one look at Illumi’s oblivious face eased your embarrassment.

“No, I knew you were in Meteor City and, after reading up on his recent movements, I figured he would try to harm you.”

You were quiet as Illumi’s words sunk in. Despite the twisted reasoning behind it, you had to admit he’d saved your life and you were grateful. Besides, he was right regarding your current state; you wouldn’t be able to work with your leg in a cast. If you stayed at the Zoldyck mansion, you wouldn’t have to worry about medical bills, treatment, food, or running into your parent’s if they happened to drop by your condo.

“I’ll stay here until my leg heals but—”

“I’ll be sure to compensate you for your injuries and for the time you won’t be working.” Illumi dug into his pocket and fished out your phone before handing it to you. “Your boss called you a couple days ago.”

Scrolling through your missed calls, you looked up to ask the question you’d first asked him only to see Illumi closing the door behind him. The curse on your lips died when a notification from your bank confirmed the deposit of your compensation and you lied back down with a sigh before closing your eyes and going back to sleep.

It was a week after the incident when boredom lured you out of your room with the help of the crutches Canary brought you. While Illumi was on a mission, Canary had been the one tending to your needs and providing her companionship while you recovered. You quickly grew fond of the younger girl and appreciated her friendly personality. However, you couldn’t suppress your hunter instinct any longer and decided to roam the mansion in search for intel on Illumi and the Zoldycks.

As you hobbled down the hallways of the mansion, you noticed they were as dimly lit as your room with only a few lamps adorning the stone walls. You couldn’t help but chuckle how much the home reflected the ominous reputation of its inhabitants.

The possibility of running into one of the Zoldycks was one that you welcomed regardless of how dangerous it seemed. You needed to know more about the other family members—particularly Silva and Zeno—and what better way than to do it face to face.

Just when your arms began to ache after wandering for what seemed like an hour, a flash of white hair from the corner of your eyes caught your attention and you found yourself face to face with the third son, Killua Zoldyck.

You froze, unsure of what to say to the boy, but spoke when he turned around to head in the opposite direction.

“Wait! Do you know where I can rest?” Holding your breath until he turned, you plastered a pained smile on your face and leaned against the wall. “I think I overdid it.”

He was entirely different from Illumi. Where Illumi was inscrutable, you could see a myriad of emotions on Killua’s face that ranged from surprise, confusion, and finally concession. With an exasperated sigh, he closed the distance between you.

“There’s a small library nearby. Follow me.” His tone was harsh but he walked slowly enough for you to keep up with him.

The library was brighter than the hallways, with a large window letting sunlight stream in. It was fairly large with several bookcases filled with books, a couples of lounge chairs, a table, and a lit fireplace. The room was almost cozy and you let out a sigh of relief when you collapsed on the comfortable chair. Killua took your crutches and leaned them against your armrest before taking a seat in the adjacent to you.

“Thank you…” Debating whether or not to call him by his name, you trailed off only for Killua to interject.

“Killua.” He sounded hesitant but curious, nonetheless. “You’re my brother’s fiancé aren’t you.”

“Y/N L/N. I’m not his fiancé yet. I still have a couple months left of freedom.” Adding the last bit to feel out the nature of his relationship with Illumi, you were pleased to hear the chortle that escaped the Killua.

“Guess I’m not the only one who finds Illumi suffocating.” The sadness in his eyes betrayed his joking tone and you wondered just how suffocating Illumi’s presence was to his younger brother. “So how did you get hurt?”

You told him about Rivero’s death, your job in Meteor City, and the encounter with Saul and his men ending in their deaths at the hand of Illumi. Killua was quick to point out Illumi as the root cause of your accident and you quickly found yourself warming up to him.

“Illumi will kill anyone who interferes with his plans. He also likes to control those around him.”

“So I’ve noticed.” You said and rubbed the back of your neck where Illumi’s needle had once been embedded. “Sounds like you don’t agree with his ways.”

Killua visibly tensed and you wondered if you went too far. Just when you were going to backtrack, Killua’s body deflated in defeat before scanning the room for intruders despite being the only two people present.

“Illumi and my father expect me to be an assassin for the rest of my life but I don’t want to keep killing people.” Killua admitted, fidgeting with the material of his shorts.

“And what do you want to do?”

Killua’s eyes widened as they met yours and you couldn’t help but feel for the younger boy. “I…I want to have fun.”

You reached over and placed your hand over his. “Then you should go and have fun. This is our only life so we should do the things we want to do—not what other’s want us to do.”

“Then why don’t you try to break off things with Illumi. If it’s contract-based then there should be ways to null it.”

Watching Killua wrack his brain for ways to break off your betrothal caused a surge of warmth to spread across your chest. He was nothing like Illumi or the rumors that circulated regarding the Zoldycks and you felt grateful to have met him first. With your mind clouded by emotions, you let your guard down even more and opened your mouth to tell Killua about your plan.

“Actually, my parents and I are—”

The door swung open to reveal an old man with white hair. You raised your guard and shut your mouth as Zeno Zoldyck shuffled over to you and Killua. With the opportunity to find out more about the Zoldycks and your marriage deal before you, the corners of your mouth rose to mimic a shy smile and you lowered your gaze.

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Zoldyck.”

You looked up to find him sitting next to Killua as he regarded you before smirking. “I’m sure you are.”

He saw behind your smile and sugar-coated words but you continued the façade to avoid a confrontation you weren’t ready for. “Thank you for allowing me to recover in your home, Mr. Zoldyck, and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

“Call me Zeno,” he replied, crossing his arms. “Mr. Zoldyck is my son. As for your stay, it’s no inconvenience, after all, this will be your home soon enough.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” The words tasted bitter as they left your mouth. You felt helpless in front of the man responsible for your betrothal and the urge to leave the mansion returned.

“How has your recovery been?”

“Huh?”

The question brought you back from your thoughts and you found Zeno studying your face the way Illumi did only you could see a twinge of genuine interest in his eyes.

“Oh, it’s been going well. My leg is almost completely healed thanks to Canary’s care.”

Zeno smiled at the mention of the young butler. “It’s good to hear Canary has served you well.”

“Did Illumi ask you for Canary?” Killua interjected but Zeno merely chuckled and shook his head.

“No, I offered her up when I heard what happened to Y/N.” Zeno then turned to you. “You see, Canary is under my supervision and, as your grandfather’s granddaughter, I wanted to make sure you were cared for.”

Zeno’s words caught you off guard. You’d always assumed Zeno hated your deceased grandfather for the large debt, so finding out that he personally sent one of his butlers to attend you was a revelation you hadn’t expected.

“Were you close with my grandfather?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t have lent him so much money if we weren’t” The old man laughed while you tried to make sense of the information you’d been given.

“I just assumed you held a grudge against him for the massive amount of debt.” You admitted, hoping Zeno would disclose more.

“Perhaps at one point I did, but he was a good friend despite his poor money management skills. Illumi told me he got into debt with other people and that you and your parents are paying off that debt.”

Your throat closed at the mention of the “other debt” lie you’d told Illumi. It wasn’t that you weren’t prepared to recount the lie to Zeno or the other Zoldycks but the way he said it, made you doubt it’s effectiveness.

Gone was the geniality on Zeno’s face as his eyes searched for a chink in your armor that he could exploit. Knowing you were on thin ice, you played off your surprise as embarrassment over the large amounts of debt your late grandfather owed others which seemed to get Zeno off your tail.

Killua saved you by changing the topic to your work experience as a hunter and you were more than happy to oblige with tales of your jobs from the most difficult, interesting, and just flat out weird. Killua seemed to enjoy your tales while Zeno would nod occasionally to show he was listening but never commented. Eventually, Killua asked about the Hunter Exam but just then a knock on the door interrupted you and the door swung open to reveal Gotoh, one of the butlers you were familiar with, who informed Zeno that dinner was being served.

“You should join us, Y/N.” Zeno declared and you knew it wasn’t a suggestion. “My son and his wife would like to meet you.”

[charlies-gillespie]

last first kiss | charlie gillespie

paring: fem!reader x charlie gillespie

summary: reader and Charlie are just friends, until Charlie gets jealous and finally admits to reader how he feels ... “I wanna be last, yeah, baby let me be your last, your last first kiss”

length: short-ish

rating: PG-13

warnings: jealous!charlie, angsty, drinking

!! NOT MY GIF !!

MASTERLIST

author’s note: i was listening to one direction’s “last first kiss” when this imagine idea popped into my head. enjoy :)

The day you were cast to be in season two of Julie and the Phantoms was one of the best days of your life. You met the cast and immediately started getting close to Owen and Charlie. You got so close with the guys that they even offered to be roommates with you while in Vancouver to shoot the show.

It’s the first day of filming and after a very successful day of shooting, Owen invites you and Charlie to go out. You accept the invitation and begin to get ready by showering and using a blow-dryer to dry your hair. You curl your usually straight hair and do your makeup. You do a silver smokey eye with a nude lip color. You add highlight to make your face shine.

Owen knocks on your door and calls, “Y/N! Hurry up! We’d like to get to the club before it closes.”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Owen,” you call back. “I need like five more minutes and I’ll be ready to go. Just grab Charlie and get in the car.”

Footsteps walk away from your door and you go to your closet, pulling out a short, light green dress. The dress has sequins all over it and has spaghetti straps as sleeves. The back is open and the neck runs straight across your neck. The dress hugs your body, showing off your curves, and ends about halfway down your thighs. You grab a pair of sparkly silver heels and put them on your feet before grabbing your wallet and phone.

Charlie and Owen both are in the car when you leave the house that the three of you are renting while you’re shooting season two. You see Charlie sitting in the passenger’s seat and notice his eyes are on you. Owen must say something to Charlie because his lips move like he’s talking.

You open the back passenger side door and slide in. Owen looks at you in the rearview mirror of his Tesla and says, “You took forever to get ready. Jesus, Y/N.”

“You spent about ten minutes getting ready and it shows, Owen,” you say, teasing him. Charlie laughs in the passenger’s seat.

Owen looks over at his friend and says, “You don’t have any room to talk, Charles. You spent about ten minutes getting ready too.”

Charlie says, “I didn’t just put in a button-up and call it a day.”

In Charlie’s defense, you say, “Charlie looks like he put effort into how he looks. He doesn’t look like a dad.”

A flash of pretend hurt crosses Owen’s face and he says, “I do not look like a dad.”

“You look like a dad, bro,” Charlie says. “Who wears a Hawaiian style button-up?”

You laugh and Owen says, “We don’t have to go out.”

Charlie says, “We’re going out. Y/N did not spend almost two hours getting ready to not going out.”

All three of you laugh and you say, “Thank you, Charlie.”

Owen smiles and playfully rolls his eyes before he drives off to the nearest club.

The three of you end up at Aura Nightclub. You show your IDs. All of you get stamped to show that you’re legal and can order drinks. Owen is 20 but the legal drinking age in British Columbia is 19 so Owen can legally drink tonight if he wants. He won’t though because he told both you and Charlie in the car that he’s designated driver tonight.

Owen finds a table for your group to sit at while you and Charlie go order a drink at the bar. You show your stamp to the bartender and ask for an Old Fashioned cocktail. Charlie asks for a Martini.

“I never pegged you as a Martini kind of guy,” you tell Charlie as the two of you head to the table Owen found. This is the first time you’re drinking with Charlie since meeting him a few months ago at your audition.

Charlie laughs and says, “I never pegged you as an Old Fashioned kind of girl.”

You take a sip of your drink and say, “Touché.”

Both of you approach the table Owen picked. He picked a high-top table with three chairs. Owen says, “I ordered mozzarella sticks.”

The mozzarella stick catch your attention and you say, “Ooh. Food.”

Owen and Charlie both laugh.

As you are sitting and talking with the guys, a random guy with long jet black hair that’s tied back walks up to you. You can see that he has a very muscular build under the dark blue button-up he’s wearing. He has a full beard and blue eyes.

“Hey,” he says, his attention on you. “I just wanted to come over and tell you that I think you look very nice tonight.” He has a broken Scottish accent. 

You look at the man and say, “Thank you.”

The rather handsome man asks, “Would you like to dance with me? Just for a little bit.”

Both Owen and Charlie blink at you as you reply with, “I’d love to.” You smile and hop down from your seat. You hook your arms with the man and head to the dance floor with him.

As you walk off, Charlie’s eyes trail after you. He sits back in his chair and makes an annoyed face, his eyebrows coming together. Owen says, “One of these days, you’re going to miss your chance with her, Charlie. You need to make a move before she finds another guy.”

Charlie says, “And possibly ruin our friendship? No thanks. I’d rather have her in my life as a friend instead of possibly ruining our friendship.”

Owen says, “What about that small chance of her feeling the same way about you? You could be missing your chance and all you’re doing is sitting here and pouting about it. Do something, Charlie, before you lose her.”

With that, Charlie chugs the rest of his Martini and walks to the bar with every intention of getting wasted tonight.

Meanwhile, you dance with the handsome man. You found out his name was Andrew and he’s in Vancouver for work. When you asked what his job was, he replied with, “I lift heavy things up and put them down.”

While you dance with Andrew, you can’t help but think about Charlie. One of the reasons you agreed to come out was to dance with him. The other reason was to see him all dressed up with his hair somewhat neatly done. Occasionally, you’d look at the table but he seemed to disappear.

After about thirty minutes, you say, “Excuse me. I need to use the ladies’ room.” Andrew nods and you walk back to the table. You look at Owen.

“Where’d he go?” you ask, curious.

Owen says, “He’s been at the bar since you walked off to dance with Long, Tall and Handsome.”

You tilt your head in confusion before you find your way to the bar. You spot Charlie with at least half a dozen shot glasses in front of him and he’s drinking a glass of whiskey. You approach him and say, “You left Owen by himself.”

Charlie says, “He can handle himself while I drink. He’s a big boy and he can wear his big boy pants on his own.” His words are slurred.

“What have you been drinking?” you ask.

He thinks for a second before saying, “I’ve had some vodka shots and three glasses of whiskey. Why?”

You take the glass out of his hand and say, “That’s enough for the night. You’re already drunk and we’ve been here for less than an hour.”

A pout forms on Charlie’s face and he says, “That’s not fair that you get to have fun and I don’t.”

You take Charlie’s hand and say, “There are dozens of girls in this club, Charlie. You’re a handsome guy so I’m sure that anyone would be lucky to dance with you. For now, you’re going back to Owen.”

Charlie looks down at your hand connected to his and he says, “You’re holding my hand.”

“We’ve held hands before,” you tell him. “Several times, if I can remember correctly.”

Your memory isn’t the best right now. You’re a severe lightweight and you’ve had two Old Fashioned drinks so you’re tipsy at best.

He tugs you toward him and you’re chest to cheat with Charlie. You stare up at him and he says, “I don’t like that you’re not dancing with me, Y/N. It should be me that you’re dancing with, not him.”

You feel your heart begin to race in your chest. Between how close you are to Charlie and what he just said, you understand why your heart is pounding in your chest.

He’s been your closest friend on the cast, but you’d never turn down the opportunity to be with the brunette.

“You’re drunk, Charlie,” you say. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

Charlie says, “I know exactly what I’m saying, Y/N. I’m jealous, and yes I just admitted that to you because I am drunk.”

Jealous. Charlie’s jealous.

You hear One Direction’s “Last First Kiss” begin to play throughout the club and you ask, “Then why didn’t you ask to dance with me before he did?”

He reaches up and cups your face with one hand before he says, “I’m scared that you won’t feel the same way that I do and that I’ll ruin our friendship. I won’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“How do you feel about me?” you ask, meeting Charlie’s hazel colored eyes. His eyes flicker down to your lips as he thinks about his answer.

Charlie’s other hand comes up and cups your other cheek. He says, “I’ve been falling for you since the day we met at your audition, Y/N.”

A little gasp leaves your lips as you look up at Charlie. You take a small step closer to him as you say, “You should do something about it if you’ve been falling for me since day one.”

Slowly, Charlie brings his lips to yours. Your heart flutters in your chest and butterflies appear in your belly as your lips make contact with Charlie’s. Your eyes shut as you grab a fistful of Charlie’s shirt, pulling him closer to you.

I wanna be last, yeah, baby let me be your last. Your last first kiss.