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disneyprincemuke · 8 months ago

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you can't spell lonesome without me * fem!driver

everyone and everything she's ever loved seems to be slipping away from her grasp and she doesn't know how to stop it

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver, mick schumacher x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver, liam lawson x fem!driver

notes: hi! matt and rocky angst comes after this so hehe gl with this guyz hope u enjoy it because it actually took 20 years of my life tryna write this LOL

(series masterlist) | (📂 2025: fall from grace)

(prev)

sebastian keeps telling her that it’s not her fault; to look at the bigger picture to get some perspective. but she doesn’t quite understand why the bigger picture has to have liam in it — frankly, who cares if liam’s qualified 15th and she ended up behind him? that’s not the point.

the point is she finds herself at another weekend where she couldn’t deliver results.

she hasn’t spoken much since she crawled out of her car after getting knocked out in the first round of qualifying. and she appreciates that matt hasn’t forced anything out of her just yet.

she’d stormed out of her garage and tried to get through all her interviews as gracefully as she could. but how could she ignore her results when, week after week, the questions and criticisms are the same?

it’s slowly getting harder and harder to keep her feet on the ground when things are slowly coming undone around her.

and she can’t thank matt enough for letting her cancel their plans without another word. she’d simply uttered that she just wanted to be locked away in their hotel room and he agreed without prodding too much.

she steps out of her racing home, taken aback by the 4 other bodies of her friends that are riddled by the porch, all on their phones. she tilts her head as she holds the door in her hands. “what are you guys doing here?”

logan is the first to look up, furrowed eyebrows and lips pursed in what she can only assume to be out of annoyance. “what do you mean? we’re heading out for ice cream tonight.”

she glances at matt next to her, who’s already looking at her as he awaits her response. she sighs as she looks back at her friends. “i’m sorry, mate,” she apologises, shaking her head. she weaves herself out of matt’s grasp and takes a step forward. “i’m not feeling great tonight.”

“what?” oscar whines, lifting his head from his phone with a slight frown. “is it a fever? are you alright?”

“i’m alright.” she smiles very slightly, picking on her arm as she forces another lie to her lips. “we can go tomorrow after the race, but just not tonight, i think. i’m sorry.”

liam furrows his eyebrows with a loud sigh. “is it because of qualifying?” he grins when she looks over at him. “if it’s any consolation, i’m not happy about it either, mate.”

she laughs softly. “yeah, it sucks.”

“i can’t do tomorrow. my flight’s right after the race,” mick frowns with a sigh. “i’m meeting laila for a bit before the next race weekend.”

“oh,” logan hums, turning away from mick to look at her. “we can go just us, right?”

“i can’t either,” oscar hisses, his frown growing. “i’m flying back home for an event that lily has. she needs me there.”

“ah,” she grins with a nod. she looks at logan. “we don’t have to get ice cream this weekend. it’s okay.”

logan raises an eyebrow. “you’re sure?”

she nods. “i’m sure.”

“it feels like it’s been so difficult to get a grasp of you lately. have you gotten too famous for me?”

she turns around with her head tilted, lips puckered as she takes a sip out of the pepsi can in her arms. “oh, hi max!”

“hi!” max perks up at her smile. “i’ve barely spoken to you since the second race. how are you?”

she sucks in a deep breath as she looks around the busy paddocks, people turning their heads at her and max, and some cowering away immediately when she catches their eye. she looks back at max with a frank smile. “good.”

he lifts an eyebrow. “really?”

she knows that talking to someone would probably ease her mind with all her thoughts. it might even calm her down to a certain degree.

and she almost does.

but she doesn’t. instead, she says, “of course. i feel great, even.”

“well,” max puts a hand on her shoulder, prompting her to snap her head up to look at him, “take my advice, mate. don’t be too hard on yourself.”

but the question still begs: how exactly does she not do that?

there’s a slight scowl on her face as she looks up at the podium. her arms are folded over her chest as the australian national anthem blasts from the speakers.

her best friends have made it on the podium this season — without her. while it’s not totally unheard of that she misses out on the share of glory, it’s never usually her on the receiving end of this torment.

at least not as of late.

to oscar’s left is logan clad in blue, and to his right is mick in the mercedes suit. it’s almost annoying.

there’s an itch in her brain and a smidge of resentment starting to grow in her chest. it’s wrong to feel this way — she knows it is — because these are her friends achieving big things in their sport. but is it so wrong that she’s starting to feel a little jealous?

just a little bit. just a little. just a touch.

maybe if she sleeps this off and wakes up tomorrow, all remnants of resentment would somehow no longer exist.

she shouldn’t feel this way, no. it’s not right. she forces a smile to her face, waving halfheartedly at oscar when he catches her eye. he pumps his fist into the air and waves his trophy in the air.

next to her is lily with her phone up, pictures and videos taken. and of course, ylona’s next to her, waving excitedly at logan as she points at her phone to get him to pose for a picture.

she presses her lips together, annoyance growing in her gut as her airways start to close in on itself. it’s just so hard to breathe especially with everyone pressed up against her. she’s still sweaty from the race, her hair is sticking against her forehead and her race suit starts to feel just slightly restricting.

she huffs softly, hooking a finger into the neckline of her fireproofs.

but everything feels like it’s burning.

“excuse me,” she mutters, dropping her head low as she pushes herself through the crowd. she ignores the way lily and ylona call after her in confusion.

she heaves when she manages to rid herself of the crowd, hands on her knees as she struggles to catch her breath. she catches max’s eye right by parc ferme, engaged in a conversation with charles.

she sees the way he perks up in concern at her but chooses to ignore it. she just picks herself up and heads to the media pen to do her interviews.

the feeling will eventually leave.

she looks around the ice cream parlour, slouched slightly with her hands pressed between the cushion of the seat and her thighs. in retrospect, it felt like coming out after media day would have been the ideal time to come out and indulge in ice cream.

but now that she’s sat here, stuck between liam and mick in a booth, it seems that she has made a mistake.

“what are you having, rocky?” logan asks, tapping the table in front of her to catch her attention. “rocky road with extra marshmallows still? or do you feel like vanilla ice cream today?”

with the way her stomach has been churning recently, any form of chocolate makes her feel sick. she shakes her head. “maybe just a lemon sorbet if they have that available.”

an audible gasp comes from either side of her. she throws her head back and looks between them. liam has the back of his hand pressed up against her forehead, mick’s tilted his head with furrowed eyebrows and logan’s staring down at her with parted lips.

“what are you guys doing?” she asks mellowly, swatting their hands away from her. “don’t touch me.”

“sorbet?” liam scowls, pointing a finger at her. “is everything okay? you’re like sorbets’ number one hater.”

she raises her eyebrows and chews on the inside of her cheeks. “am i?”

“yes,” logan emphasises. “you literally told me off one time for having sorbet during our ice cream dates. you and oscar wouldn’t let me live it down for weeks!”

she blinks at him. “you got a raspberry sorbet, so you had that coming.”

“no!” logan shrieks. “sorbet? really? what’s wrong with you? is everything okay? you always say sorbets are inferior to ice cream.”

she nods hesitantly. she vaguely remembers the one time that she’d gone on a drunk tangent about sorbet not being ice cream. to which she can say that she understands logan’s argument. “well, i’m not really feeling ice cream today.”

mick hums, making her turn her head to look at him. “if it’s just this one time, i guess we can excuse the behaviour.”

she hears logan humming, eyes still narrowed down into a glare. “just this one time, rocky. i’ll give you a chance.”

“great, thanks. i was worried you’d bully me into having ice cream tonight.”

“keep up the sarcasm and i’ll actually force you.”

she flinches when she opens the door to her driver’s room, only to find it occupied. she blinks. “seriously, you’ve got to stop taking advantage of seb.”

“we missed you,” oscar grins, comfortably lying in her bean bag, tapping away on his phone. “and you weren’t answering our texts in the group chat.”

she looks over at matt and points at her friends. “really? you let them in?”

the green-eyed boy shrugs, lips pressed together. “4 versus 1 argument — remember that.”

there’s nothing that she wanted all day but to come back to a peaceful and silent driver’s room. she’d wanted to simply sit with matt in silence before she had to get up and drag her feet to a conference room and come up with diplomatic answers on the spot.

she just needed a couple of hours to herself to think and recuperate. to get herself in a better headspace after these past couple of races.

“where are we heading for ice cream tonight?” logan raises an eyebrow, not sparing her a look as he continues to tap away on his phone.

“ice cream,” she mutters, trailing off as she blinks. “oh, my god.”

she shakes her head, her palm pressed against her forehead. amidst everything that’s been in her head, she’d completely forgotten to research an ice cream parlour for them to visit tonight.

oscar chuckles. “you’ve forgotten, haven’t you?”

“yes,” she answers, somewhat apologetically. “i’m so sorry. and i’m busy today, i don’t have the time. can either of you find a place?”

but there’s a different answer that she hopes they would choose instead of the standard answer that they’d give her.

she finds them wanting to say nevermind; that they’ll just not grab ice cream together.

to her dismay, that’s not what mick says. “oo, can i choose?”

“give it a while, kid.”

“i don’t have a while!” she shrieks, looking around at her mobile car, cars passing her from the track. she can practically hear the comments and see the headlines once she steps out of the car when the race finishes. “tell them to fucking get it together! what the fuck is going on?”

she’s looking around wide-eyed, desperate to meet anyone’s eye for an explanation. the longer she stays parked in the pit, for what was supposed to be a pit stop, the less threshold she has to stay in the race.

“this is absolutely insane, seb. i was in p5 before this shit show.”

“rocky,” he hears her sigh into her ears, “just be patient.”

she dug her foot into the acceleration when the sign flipped to the bright green colour. adrenaline pumps through her veins as she convinces herself that her car will be good enough to put her back into a good spot.

that she’s good enough to put herself in a position where she’s no longer on the receiving end of harsh words this weekend.

above all else, she needs to prove to herself that she hasn’t lost her touch as a driver.

“you’re currently in p9.”

“what the hell happened during that pit?” she complains, the urge to roll her eyes growing stronger. “that was so fucked up, seb! you know what– it isn’t. it’s absolutely fucking unacceptable.”

“i know, rocky,” seb answers calmly, clearing his intonation to ensure that the young girl hears him. and actually listens because it doesn’t seem like she’s absorbing much of what he says. “we’ll debrief later after the race, okay? just focus on making the most out of the weekend.”

she grunts. “fine, whatever.”

“ice cream tonight?” logan pops up next to her, grinning when she lifts her head from her intense gaze on her shoe. “found a spot?”

she sighs, blinking. “no. i forgot.”

logan takes a spot next to her on the couch, furrowing his eyebrows. “you forgot again?”

“yeah,” she huffs as she looks away to avoid his gaze. “sorry.”

truth is that she didn’t look for one on purpose. she just simply doesn’t feel like heading out with them tonight.

she just waits for the time that oscar and logan will let her be. perhaps the stupid ice cream tradition needed to be abolished altogether. just seems like a waste of time.

“no worries,” logan grins, patting her head gently. “you’ve had a long couple of race weekends past you. i’ll look for one, okay?”

she breathes out shakily, smiling halfheartedly. “okay, thank you.”

she finds herself dreading the ice cream date with her friends. she trails behind the group with small steps, watching her feet with every step as she formulates a way to escape her obligations.

she clears her throat and lifts her head. “um.”

“she’s spoken,” oscar jokes, grabbing logan’s arms — previously hitting him — and turns back to grin at her. “the curse must have been broken.”

“someone found the unmute button on the remote!” logan giggles, scrunching his nose. “what’s up, rocky?”

liam hums with a smile. “your girlfriend remembered she has friends!” he looks over at matt and nods. “good for her.”

“i’m like,” she trails off, biting down on her lip as she forces another lie out, “totally not feeling great. i’m on my period and i’m kind of lightheaded. is it alright if i sit this one out?”

“aw, bub,” matt coos, shoving liam off of him, arms extended as he approaches her. he tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows. “you’re on your period?”

she looks up at matt, wide-eyed as she slowly nods. “just got it before we left my room.”

which is a lie.

“aw, does that mean matt’s not coming with us?” mick frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. “i haven’t spent time with him forever, that’s so unfair.”

she shakes her head, flashing mick a small grin. “no, it totally doesn’t mean that. he can go with you guys — i just wanna head back to the hotel and take a nap, really. i’ll be okay on my own.”

matt hums. “i’ll go with you.”

“you should go with them,” she laughs, grabbing his arm with a small nod. “i’ll text you when i’m back, i promise. i’ll be okay — i just need to take a nap, i reckon.”

logan furrows his eyebrows and his smile drops at her insistence. “i can walk you back to the hotel if you want.”

she shakes her head. “i’ll be okay. you guys have fun, okay?”

she kneels on her beanbag, lips pressed together as she looks out of the tiny window of her driver’s room. right by the porch of her racing home are her friends gathered, laughing and having a good time as they awaited her arrival.

“bub,” matt sighs. “are you sure you don’t wanna come with us?”

she turns around with a small smile, scrunching her nose. “i’ll be okay, bub. i’m just not really feeling like heading to the club tonight.”

he walks over to her, slumping his shoulders as she leans into his body for a hug. “at least let me stay with you? i don’t like you being alone when i’m around. i’m sure we can come up with some silly excuse that they won’t giggle at like 12-year-olds.”

“you have to go,” she hums, pulling her head back to look up at him, “it’s logan’s race win — just go in my place, please? tell him i’m really sorry i can’t be there.”

he hums, cupping her cheek. she leans into his touch with a soft sigh and her eyes fluttering close. “you should tell him that yourself. you owe him that much; he’s your best friend.”

she shakes her head, her hand coming up to rest above the hand that’s on her face. “i can’t,” she chokes, tears filling her eyes, “you know how i feel about this. just do this one for me, bub.”

“fine,” he sighs, hunching over to press his lips to her forehead. “but you can’t keep avoiding logan and oscar and throwing me out there to face them. they miss you, you know?”

she can hear logan’s laugh in the air mixed with ylona’s. she grins slightly, “i’m sure they’ve got better things to care about other than me.”

“don’t even say that,” he pulls away, “text me when you get back to the hotel, okay? i love you.”

she scratches the back of her head roughly, nails digging into her scalp as she holds her helmet in her hands.

she mutters under her breath as she tears everything off from her body: her balaclava, her gloves, the earpiece. everything’s not right, everything’s not going her way and that’s unfair.

nobody’s worked as hard as she has to be where she is right now is all that goes in her head. it’s unfair that she’s getting the brunt of the criticism when it came to andretti’s performance on the grid this year.

she doesn’t see liam getting decimated by the masses, and she clearly doesn’t see it on sebastian or her team principal or mechanics for not producing a car to get results in a weekend.

she’s qualified at the very back of the grid this time — p19. just imagine what everyone will have to say; what everyone will zoom into just to have something to say about her driving.

it’s always her skills, never the fact that the car is simply shit.

“rocky,” she hears sebastian sigh behind her. “let’s talk.”

she shakes her head, clenching her jaw as she heads towards the exit of her garage. she doesn’t bother turning around to look at him. “just fuck off.”

the one thing she wishes to stop coming by is sebastian’s excuses for the team. it’s the same thing over and over again. it’s unfair that she’s the one getting fucked over by the media.

it’s not fair.

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#oscar piastri x reader #mick schumacher x reader #sebastian vettel x reader #logan sargeant x reader #liam lawson x reader #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 grid x reader #f1 female driver #formula one x reader #fem!driver #f1 fem!driver #female driver #disneyprincemuke vr #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #vettel reincarnate

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theereina · 22 days ago

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Bad News Pt. 2

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC "Bella"

Wordcount: +1.4K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, no smut, heavily dialogue-centered, mental health mentioned (anxiety), *emotional distress*, angst, heartbreak, chronic illnesses mentioned, health conditions mentioned (c*ncer, PCOS, endometriosis), infertility, slight verbal ab*se

A/N¹: Remember, I just got back into writing. I'm open to critiques, but I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by @firefly-graphics. Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

A/N²: I am not a medical doctor. Please, forgive me if my knowledge of any of the mentioned medical conditions is incorrect.

Bad News Pt. 1=> 😢

Walking into the room, my heart was crushed even further. All of the feelings I wish I could explain; I couldn't. Terry and his bags were gone. I hadn't even heard him leave. He didn't even care enough to at least say goodbye. After all these years, I wasn't worth a goodbye. Two seconds just solidified that this relationship wasn't worth any more of my energy.

I couldn't understand it. How did we get here? Had he always been like this? Was I that blind? I guess I was so busy trying to find love that I forgot the most important rule— love wasn't supposed to hurt. Then again, every version of love I've experienced was painful, manipulative, abusive, and damaging. So, maybe I found what I was familiar with. I mean, why else would I be so comfortable putting up with this?

But, what do I do now?

*2 hours later

The room was covered in crumpled and torn pieces of notebook paper. I have tried and tried to write this letter. My hands were stiff, and my head was throbbing. I just wanted him to know how I felt because my mind was already made up. I'm done, and this is over.

If he would've just listened, we wouldn't be in this predicament. If he hadn't said those words, there would still be hope in my eyes and love in my heart.

Better yet, fuck this and fuck him. He doesn't deserve a letter. This doesn't concern him anymore. I've already changed my flight for tomorrow morning. I leave on the first flight out. Since I no longer have anything to say to him, there is no need to wait. I can return to the West Coast and be at home with my Godmother and Godsister when I receive the news.

*The next day

“I will never like flying’. I don't care!” I said stepping out of the bathroom after showering. I was dressed in a pair of sweats and a plain black T-shirt. I had wrapped a scarf around my head to protect my hair during my shower.

My Godsister, Shante, was waiting for me. She was relaxed on the bed with her back against the headboard. Her satin black bonnet and black fluffy robe made her look so much like her grandmother. “What?” she asked turning her head towards me. “You look like Nana Elsie!” I laughed into my hand. “Shut up!” she said slinging one of the pillows at me.

I walked to the bed and sat on the edge closest to me. I was tired. I knew why she was in here. She wanted to make sure I was okay. Honestly, I wasn't. My life was shit right now. Leaving Terry was just another stab to the heart. All I could do was pray to God that I didn't lose anymore. I couldn't possibly see myself being any lower than this.

“You wanna talk?” Shante asked rolling on her side facing my back. “Not really, I just wanna wait until they call,” I said solemnly. My shoulders were beginning to feel heavy again. I didn't want to think about what the doctor would say. I already knew this day was coming.

After years of medical neglect and misdiagnoses, I was finally given a proper diagnosis of both endometriosis and PCOS. I had been ignored for years when I complained of a forever-growing mountain of signs that something was wrong. I was told to “lose weight” to alleviate my symptoms. When I lost the weight, nothing changed. Some symptoms even seemed to get worse.

I had grown tired of all the referrals and guesses. I had explained to my original primary care physician years ago that I suspected that I had PCOS. It was dismissed as anxiety and medical hysteria. I tried again with three other physicians to be met with the same fate— try to lose weight, take this metformin, exercise daily, change your diet, etc.

This could have been treated years ago if someone would have just listened.

*3 hours later

I was in the kitchen eating when my cell phone rang. I picked it up thinking it was the call I had been dreading. I was eager to get this over with. Just say it, and let's move on.

“Hello, this is Bella,” I mumbled into the phone. I was on the edge again. Trying my hardest to breathe and stay calm. “Bell, where are you?” asked Terry. “Terry?” I asked pulling the phone away from my ear and looking at it. Fuck! Why didn't I look before answering? Why didn't I block him?

“Bella, I'm s—,” he started to speak before I interrupted him. “Save it. I… I don't care anymore,” I said through tears. “Bells, I was—,” he started again. “No,” I said sobbing into the phone. “Could you just—!” he yelled into the phone. That was it. I didn't have to deal with this. I hung up the phone and laid it on the table in front of me.

Pushing the plate away, I laid across my arms crying with my head down. My Godmother and Godsister were both gone to work. That left me alone once again with my emotions— all of them.

ring ring ring

Not again. I picked up the phone in anger. “I don't want to talk to you!” I screamed into the phone. “Isabella? It's Dr. Moore. We need to speak about scheduling your surgery immediately,” he said in a startled tone. “I'm sorry, Dr. Moore. I'm having a…,” I said taking a deep breath. “I can call back if—,” he said. “No!” I blurted out. “Sorry. Please, tell me now,” I whimpered. I was flying between emotions faster than my body could manage.

“Well, honey. I'm sorry to bring you such bad news at this time, but we're going to need to remove your left ovary. The cysts were quite large, and… Unfortunately, the biopsy indicated they were cancerous. The safest option is to remove the affected ovary and all endometriosis deposits. Later on, we can discuss any further changes,” he said. “Changes?” I questioned while sniffling. “If it progresses any further, we may have to perform a hysterectomy.” Dr. Moore continued to talk, but I had dissociated from the conversation. This was it.

My mind was overflowing with questions. Will I be able to have kids? Would this even get rid of the cancer? If it did, would it come back? Would life ever be normal for me?

I don't know. I'll probably never know.

*Later in the day

ring ring ring

Hours had passed since the call ended. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to think. I had planned my whole life around me and Terry's relationship— kids, a house, a minivan, a dog, all of it. Now, everything was gone. Maybe my mother was right, I am cursed.

ring ring ring

“Who is it?” I sobbed into the phone. “It's me, Bella. Baby, can you please just listen to me?” Terry pleaded over the phone. “Why, huh? What’s there to listen to? You said everything you needed to say,” I yelled. All of my feelings were being overshadowed by my anger.

“I didn't mean it, Bella. That wasn't supposed to happen. I love you. You know that!” Terry yelled. “I don't know that, Terry. If you loved me, you wouldn't have said it. You meant it with all your fucking heart. You stood on it when you left without saying a word. No goodbye. No sorry. Nothing. That's not love,” I blurted out. I was beyond tired of holding my tongue. “Stop being so fuckin' childish right now and use your brain. You're always so damn emoti—,” he said cutting himself off. “Nah, say it! I'm too fucking emotional, huh? Ain't that right, Terry?” I screamed again. Tears were streaming down my face falling onto the kitchen table.

“I’m always sick, and… and I'm… I'm always emotional. That's what you… that's what you said, right? THEN, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WITH ME?!” I screamed as loud as I could. I threw the phone across the room. It hit the wall and shattered. Good. No more phone calls. No more doctors. No more — Terry.

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wosoamazing · 9 months ago

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Surprise

Summary: You surprise your Ma for her birthday.

A/N: Just a short one, based off this request.

It was the day before international break, a period of time in which Katie’s Birthday feel, she was upset that yet again your little family would be split on a birthday, little did she know that your Mum was planning to come visit her, she had arranged with Tony to have a break however that was after the team had already been announced, so she asked Tony to wait until the day she surprised Katie to announce that she was no longer available.

“What if I just don’t go to camp this time, they’re only friendlies” she said as she opened a present.

“Katie, babe, no, you should go, it will be okay. Oh, and also you will get your main present on your Birthday” Caitlin said, she of course knew what this was, it was you and her, but Katie didn’t.

“What is it?” “You will have to wait to find out”.

_____

“Which plane ours?” You ask your Mum, you were standing on the window looking out at the planes in the lounge, Steph and Kyra were with you, as always, except for some reason you didn’t have nearly as many bags as them, where usually you would have more than them.

“We aren’t getting on a plane today, Monkey.” She replies, “But why?”

“Because we are going to fly to Ireland tomorrow, so we can surprise Ma for her Birthday,” your Mum informs you excitedly.

“So why we here then?” “To send her photos like we always do so she doesn’t get suspicious. We’re tricking her into thinking we are going to Matilda’s camp”.

“But you say tricking is bad” you pout.

“Well, most of the time it is, but this time it’s for a good reason, so it isn’t bad”.

“Because Ma is sad, she won’t see us on her birfday and if we go and see her she will get all happy?” you question trying to make sense of the situation “Exactly” “kay”

_____

“PLANE!” You exclaim as you watch a plane take off.

“Shh, Monkey, inside voice, people are trying to work and relax,” she tells you softly in your ear before she turns to a group of businesspeople near her, “I am so sorry, she is just very excited, we are going to surprise her Ma today, she is currently away for work, and its her birthday today,”

“Oh no, it’s sweet, and that is such a cute thing to do,” one of the Women say.

“It’s alright, we’re not really doing anything that important, trying to figure out what colour to use for our design, but I’m sure Katie will be happy to see you. Oh god I sound like a stalker, my daughter is an avid football fan, she plays and wants to become a professional”. The man who seems to the boss says.

“That’s okay, but I am sorry, if I ever see you at a game, I’ll make sure to say hi,”

“Thank you, we are actually coming to the first game after international break,”

“Well, I’ll keep a look out and maybe I’ll have a gift for her”.

“Now boarding flight BA830 to Dublin, flight BA830 boarding now”

“Oh, that’s us, nice meeting you all sorry for the noise again,” your Mum picked you up and headed to your gate, you got checked in and sat on the plane, it wasn’t a verry long flight, but you still fell asleep, something about planes sends you to sleep, you had also not slept much last night as you were excited about seeing your Ma.

_____

There was a car in the pick-up spot waiting for you, your Mum had asked Eileen if it was okay if she did surprise your Ma, she was nervous that Eileen would say no as it might cause some tension/drama in the team but Eileen said absolutely, she even offered a driver to pick you up from the airport and take you to the grounds, your Mum had said it’s okay but Eileen said it was the least she could do,

You got in a car with you Mum, which stopped outside a local flower shop, you went inside with her and helped her pick out the biggest and bestest bouquet for your Ma, after you had purchased it, you got back into the car. After about 3 minutes you were there.

“You ready?” “See Ma!”

Eileen was on the sidelines, near where you were entering, when she saw you, she yelled out “Katie, can you come over here for a sec,” you Ma turned around and started jogging before she saw you and stopped, her mouth dropped before she crocked out "Y/N/N, Cait".

“Ma,” you said as you started running as fast as your little legs could go, when you neared her, she put her arms out and you jumped into them, she lifted you up to give you a big hug before perching you on her hip, your Mum wasn’t far behind her.

“Happy Birthday my love,” your Mum said as she placed a kiss on your Mums lips and hugged her, before putting her arm around her shoulders. “How?” “That doesn’t matter now does it, we’re here.” “I love you so much, thank you for surprising me and for coming” your Ma said as a few tears left her eyes, but Caitlin was quick to wipe them away.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine

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girlgenius1111 · 10 months ago

Text

you aren't a chore...

mapi x ingrid x reader

r tears her ACL. her girlfriends struggle to help her heal. angst + fluff. mapi didn't tear her meniscus in this because i said so <3

Tearing your ACL while on national duty was less than ideal; not just because it was a months long, intense injury that you knew would be hell to go through. It happened while you were in England, and your girlfriends were in Norway and Spain, respectively. You were dreading having call them with this news, news you knew would hurt them almost as much as it hurt you, but there was no avoiding it.

You were at the hospital, and the doctor had just left the room, confirming what you'd known since you'd gone down on the pitch a few hours ago. You were finally alone, and you couldn't put off calling Ingrid and Mapi any longer.

You started a group face time, wincing when you noticed in the camera how red your eyes were from crying. It only rang a couple times before both girls clicked on, almost simultaneously.

"What's happened?" Ingrid asked frantically, not needing to see more than your tearstained face to know that something was wrong. Mapi's excited smile dropped into a frown, too, and you took a deep breath.

"It's my ACL." You told them, swallowing the lump in your throat.

"No, amor," Mapi said in disbelief.

"It's completely torn. I need surgery." You continued, gripping the sheets under you in your hand, not wanting to cry.

"Are you sure?" Ingrid asked.

"Yeah, I just got the scans back and the doctor confirmed."

"How did it happen?" Mapi's questioned, voice shaking as she spoke.

"I planted my foot and twisted I guess, and it just. Really hurt. I heard it pop."

"Amor, I am so sorry. I'll come to you, I'll fly tomorrow," Mapi said, shuffling around, clearly looking for her computer to book a flight.

"No, no, it's okay. They're flying me back tomorrow to Spain tomorrow. They offered to do the surgery here but I wanted to be home. With you guys."

"Love," Ingrid began, and you could tell from the desperate look on her face what she was thinking.

"No, Ingrid. You'll stay with your team, and win for me. Mapi will take good care of me." You insisted. Ingrid's teeth bit at her lip, an anguished expression etched across her features.

"Love, I want to be with you," She said, and you could tell she was fighting back tears.

"I know, I want that too. It's only a few more days, though. The team needs you, Ingrid, you have to stay."

"Y/n's right. You have to stay with the team. She'll be a handful, but I can handle our girl." Mapi joked, face falling when you only cracked a small smile. She wanted to reach through the phone, to call up one of the English girls and tell them to give you a hug, anything to make you feel better. Glancing at Ingrid's face, the Spaniard could tell she felt the same.

"Can we do anything?" Ingrid asked, thinking that she would move heaven and earth to get rid of the sad frown on your face.

"No, I'm fine, I promise." You said, although your voice and expression told a completely different story.

"Cariño, neither of us expect you to be fine." Mapi said softly.

You forced a smile onto your lips, hoping it was convincing. "Really, I'm fine. I have to go though, they're about to discharge me. I love you guys." You hung up, rolling onto your good side, muffling your sobs in the pillow.

Ingrid and Mapi hung up with each other soon after, both agreeing that they needed to keep a close eye on you. You'd never handled injuries well, but the state you were in on the phone was worse than they'd ever seen. This was a worse injury than you'd ever had, so it made sense, but they were still incredibly worried.

-----

Mapi had wanted to pick you up from the airport, but Barca had insisted on you going to meet with the surgeon right away, sending a car to grab you and take you there. Mapi promised to meet you at the hospital for your consultation, and arrived there in the parking lot a full 10 minutes before you did. She wanted to prepare herself for whatever you were feeling. Honestly, she had no idea how to best help you; neither her nor Ingrid had ever had an injury of this magnitude, they couldn't know what you were feeling. The defender had never felt more helpless in her life, watching you slowly get out of the car, grabbing your crutches, and making your way towards the door, where she waited.

"Mi amor," she said as you neared her, moving forward to carefully wrap you in a hug. You were stiff in her arms, jaw set stiffly, as you murmured a greeting into your ear. It became clear to your girlfriend that you had completely shut down, not allowing yourself to feel the intense emotions she knew must be tugging at you. Not wanting to challenge that unhealthy coping mechanism at the hospital, she simply kissed your cheek lightly, before leading you into the building.

You were quieter than Mapi thought you'd ever been in your life as you made your way into the surgeon's office, face pinched in pain as you settled into a chair next to her, moving your crutches to rest next to you with a disdainful look at them.

You waited for the surgeon, turning to the team doctor that had accompanied you and speaking, voice raspy from lack of use.

"When do you think they'll do the surgery?"

"Depends. Some doctors like to do it sooner rather than later, to preserve muscle strength, while others think the more time taken to reduce swelling, the better. This guy did Alexia's, and he only had her wait a week."

You nodded absentmindedly, reaching one hand over to grip onto Mapi's. She squeezed your hand comfortingly, pulling out her phone to update Ingrid.

Your meeting with the surgeon may as well have been 2 seconds, for all the information you absorbed. Once he told you that he'd operate in a week, you couldn't force yourself to focus on everything he said about the recovery process. If you didn't take this one step at a time, you were sure that you would fail. Mapi could tell you weren't all there, and she allowed you the time to process on the way home, not bothering to speak to you until she asked if you wanted to call Ingrid and update her.

"Can you just tell her?"

"Of course, amor. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Thanks Maps."

If this was a hint to how you'd be for the next week, Mapi felt like she'd almost rather have torn her own ACL. She could tell that you were hurting, not just physically, but deep within you. You wouldn't speak about it though, repeating the words "I'm fine" until they no longer sounded like words. You weren't overly upset, nor were you overly happy. Instead, Mapi got used to the version of you that was quiet, giving her only small smiles and chuckles when she tried to joke around, instead of the full laughs that had been part of the reason she'd fallen in love with you.

As the days passed, and your surgery grew closer, Mapi noticed you become more irritable, frustrated more easily. She talked to Ingrid often about it, completely at a loss for how to help you, as nothing she was doing seemed to work. Her and Ingrid agreed that this period of waiting was especially hard for you; you couldn't do any rehab work, nothing at all could be done until after the surgery. The hoped that being able to focus your mind and body on recovering would bring you back to yourself.

Ingrid, for her part, made up her mind to leave the national team and come home to you at least 10 different times, but you and Mapi always talked her out of it. She was due home the day of your surgery, and you both were adamant that this injury not affect Ingrid's playing time with the team. Ingrid was packing one day, after a particularly rough night where Mapi confided that she wasn't sure you'd slept at all, and Mapi was clearly failing at convincing her to stay. You'd grabbed the phone from Mapi's hand, expressing the most emotion that they'd seen from you since your injury.

"Ingrid, please don't do this for me. I love you, and I miss you, but I want you to stay. Coming home now will only make me feel guilty. Besides, watching you play is one of the only things I'm looking forward to right now."

Mapi practically froze when you spoke, waiting to hear Ingrid's response.

"Okay, elskling. If that's what you want." Ingrid sighed, dropping her clothes back into her drawer. She wasn't happy about it, but she trusted that if you really did need her, you'd ask for her.

"Mapi is taking good care of me, anyway. Not as good of a job as you could, but it'll do." You joked, shooting Mapi a smirk. She feigned being supremely insulted, but really, she was just happy to see you smile again, even if it was at her own expense.

"Alright, you can shower by yourself tonight." She teased, and you glared at her.

"I might as well be showering by myself, for all the help you are."

"I shaved your legs for you yesterday!" Mapi gasped.

"That's not the kind of help I'm talking about."

"If I had sex with you while you were injured, in the shower, while Ingrid was in another country, I think she'd kill me." Mapi defended.

"I absolutely would. You'll just have to be patient and wait for me. And till after your surgery. Think of it as a fun challenge." Ingrid smiled, enjoying the glimpse of the you she was used to seeing, not the empty version that you'd been for the past few days.

"What is fun about that, Ingrid, be serious."

"What's fun is that we're all waiting, and we will all have a very good time together once I'm back, and it's safe for you. I promise, you can be a pillow princess the way you like, and Mapi and I will do whatever you want." Ingrid said sweetly, and you tried to ignore the way you felt suddenly warm at her words.

You gave a dramatic sigh. "Whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want." Both girls promised together. Mapi saw the most excitement she'd seen in you all week, and couldn't help but leaning in and leaving a gentle kiss on your temple. You softened at her loving action, growing slightly more serious.

"I'm sorry I've been so awful this past week. I know I haven't been very much fun to be around."

"You have every right to be grumpy, mi amor. You're doing your best, we don't expect any more than that." Mapi promised.

"I can't imagine what you're feeling, elskling. You can act any way you feel like acting." Ingrid assured you. "It'll get easier post surgery, yeah?"

You nodded like you agreed, but you weren't exactly sure about that. You hoped Ingrid was right, you really did. Mapi caught your reluctance.

"No matter what, we've got you, mi amor." She said, tilting your chin to look into your eyes as she spoke.

"Always, kjære." Ingrid echoed, and this time, you felt more confident when you nodded. You weren't sure that you trusted your body anymore, not when it had betrayed you so grievously. You did, however, trust your girls with everything. Everything.

-----

Mapi hated being in hospitals. When she had gone to your initial appointment with you, it was just the surgeons office you were visiting, which was tolerable. But a hospital, with patients and sick people, and doctors and nurses in scrubs, she hated. She always had, and the night before your surgery, you could tell she was getting nervous. You were nervous too, but magically, your stress evaporated when you realized that Mapi was anxious, and all you cared about was making her feel better.

Ingrid was set to touch down in Barcelona after you went back, and she would probably arrive at the hospital right as you were coming out of recovery, which wouldn't be very much help to your other girlfriend who wouldn't hear a word about leaving the hospital while you were in surgery.

You were debating on making Mapi talk about it, when she started bouncing her knee rapidly, and picking at her cuticles; 2 things she only did when she was really nervous. You knew if she continued like this, she'd get no sleep. More than that, she looked miserable, although she tried to hide it, and you hated seeing her upset.

"María," you called softly, getting her attention. She turned to you, and you watched her literally change her face from one of slight panic, to one of reassuring confidence. If you didn't know her so well, you would have bought the second face with no questions asked.

"Come here," you said, gesturing for her to move closer. She must have thought you were seeking comfort, because otherwise there was no way she would have accepted your comfort, and she moved closer, resting her head on your shoulder.

"Are you nervous?" She asked.

"A bit. You seem really anxious though, baby. Are you okay?" At your question, she sat up, leaning away from you.

"I am fine, amor. Nothing to worry about." She said. "I am going to go shower, and then I'll help you to bed, alright?"

"Okay." You agreed, letting it go for now. She smiled at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, before leaving the room.

You sighed once she was out of earshot. You'd let Ingrid know that Mapi seemed more anxious than normal, but you didn't want to overly stress out the Norwegian, not when you knew she was already kind of freaking out at the thought that you were having surgery before she arrived home. You pulled your phone out, hitting the contact of the one person you knew Mapi trusted almost as much as she trusted you and Ingrid.

"Alexia? I need your help with something."

-----

Worrying about Mapi turned out to be a wonderful distraction for you, as you both woke early and headed to the hospital. You were nervous, but your attention was on your girlfriend, who had a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel with one hand, and yours wrapped tight in the other.

"Maps?"

"Sí?" She said, looking at you out of the corner of her eye, her worry evident in her slightly shaky voice.

"Ale is going to meet us at the hospital."

Mapi blinked. "That is nice of her to come for you." She said, although she was slightly confused. You hadn't wanted to see anyone recently, and although you'd been talking to Alexia, as someone who had, and was currently, having issues with her knee, Mapi was surprised that you'd agreed to her being at the hospital, and seeing you in such a vulnerable state.

"She's not coming for me, she's coming for you. I don't want you sitting alone around the hospital for hours, not when you're already nervous." You stated plainly, never having planned on hiding the real reason Alexia was invited.

"Amor, you should not be worrying about me," Mapi complained, although her grip slackened slightly on the wheel.

"Well, I am. So is Ingrid. And with Alexia there, we won't worry as much. Really, you'll be doing both of us a favor."

"You will be unconscious, but worrying about me?" Mapi rolled her eyes.

"I always dream of you, baby. Even when I'm under general." You winked at her.

Mapi snorted, but you were delighted to see a faint blush on her cheeks. She was quiet for a moment.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." She spoke softly, and you could just barely hear her over the sound of the engine.

You pull her hand over, still laced with yours, kissing the back of it. She smiled at you, eyes crinkling the way they did when she smiled really genuinely. You returned the smile, feeling incredibly glad that you weren't really freaking out.

-----

You sat in the hospital bed, all dressed in the stupid gown, feeling significantly less calm and collected. Mapi had settled after learning that Alexia would be around, and her decrease in stress had allowed you to focus back on your own.

You were visibly nervous, hands shaking, teeth chattering, holding rather tightly to Mapi's hand. They put the IV in, and you noticed Alexia mumble something to one of the nurses, who took one look at you, nodded, and disappeared from the room.

"What did you tell her?" You wondered.

"Nothing, just a question." Alexia replied calmly, but the her eyes flicked away from your eyes; Alexia could lie, but she couldn't meet your eyes while doing it. The nurse returned before you could press your captain.

"Something to help you relax, alright?" The nurse said with a kind smile, injecting something into the IV. You didn't know what it was, but the effect was almost instantaneous. Your neck went limp, and your head dropped onto the pillow. Your body drained of tension, and you loosened your painfully tight grip on your girlfriends hand.

"I feel better," you said, fighting back a yawn. The nurse left the room, telling you that they would be ready to take you back in a couple minutes. Mapi was looking at you, amused by the sudden relaxed version of you in front of her.

"Alexia, you really are a great blonde." You said, squinting at her.

"Thank you chica," she said with a laugh. "They gave you the good stuff, huh?

You turned to look at Mapi, raising a clumsy hand to boop her nose. "You're so pretty. Like so, so, pretty."

"They really did give you the good stuff," Mapi laughed. You returned her grin, eyes beginning to flutter shut. You were lightly snuffling against the oxygen tubes not seconds later, out cold, still clinging to your girlfriend's hand.

"What did you tell them to give her?" Mapi asked, turning her attention to her best friend.

"I just asked if they could start her early on the stuff to relax her. My mom had them do it for me when I had my surgery, because she thought I was going to break my sister's hand, I was holding it so tight." Alexia commented.

The nurse entered again, followed by several others, and Mapi knew it was time. She leaned down, placing a light kiss on your cheek.

"Good luck, mi amor. I love you." She whispered the words into your ear, squeezing your hand once more, before allowing them to roll your bed away. She watched as they wheeled you down the hall, feeling a flutter of worry in her chest. They better be careful with you.

Alexia stood next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"She'll be fine, amiga." Alexia reassured, and Mapi nodded, trying to convince herself.

"Thank you for being here. I really appreciate it." Mapi mumbled.

"Of course." Alexia replied. "You better text Ingrid and tell her y/n went back. You know she bought plane wifi, and if you don't update her, I wouldn't want to be you when she arrives later."

-----

Ingrid hated plane wifi, potentially more than she'd ever hated anything in her entire life. All she wanted was to hear that you'd gone back for surgery okay, and also that Mapi was alright, but the wifi was hardly functioning, and Ingrid felt like chucking her phone across the plane. Her texts began to load, finally, as the plane was landing. Perfect timing. She had a text from Mapi, and a text from Alexia.

"They just took her back. She was nervous but they gave her something and she was... no longer nervous. Waiting with Ale now. Fly safe, princesa. Te amo."

"Mapi's alright. Definitely anxious but I'm distracting her by asking her to tell me what her favorite goal she's ever scored is. She's been talking for 20 minutes."

Ingrid relaxed, even cracking a smile at Alexia's text. Her and Mapi's relationship was so entertaining to watch. They spent most of their time together giggling, making fun of each other, but if one of them needed the other, she would be there. No matter what.

Ingrid made her way off the plane, resisting the urge to shove everyone out of her way. She made record time getting to baggage claim, and was just pulling out her phone to call and uber when she felt someone land squarely on her back.

"La princesa! Your taxi service has arrived!" Ingrid tried to be annoyed, she really did, but when Pina climbed off her back, and Ingrid turned around to find her and Patri smiling goofily at her, she couldn't manage it.

-----

Ingrid arrived at the hospital, leaving her bag with Pina and Patri, who had promised to get it home for her, before heading inside. She'd gotten a text from Mapi a couple of minutes ago, one that had worried her.

"Taking longer than they expected. Not sure why. We're in room 402 when you get here."

Ingrid hauled ass to room 402, her stiff legs from playing a full 90 the day before, and then getting on a plane making it rather difficult. She made it at the same time, apparently, as the surgeon, and she felt slightly nauseous as she walked into the room. There were plenty of reasons why a surgery would take longer, but Ingrid could not, for the life of her, think of one that wasn't negative.

She walked right into the room, just before the doctor, quickly hugging Alexia before pulling Mapi into her side. They all looked at the doctor expectantly. He looked frazzled, which didn't make anyone feel better, and he scrolled through your chart for what felt like minutes before finally speaking.

"The surgery was successful, and y/n is in recovery. There was, however, a slight, unforeseen complication."

-----

You woke up slowly, and you could hear before you could open your eyes. You weren't sure where you were, or what was happening. You heard rhythmic beeping, and it sped up as you grew more aware. You shifted lightly in the bed, unable to get your eyes to open. The beeping sped up faster, but someone laid a hand on your cheek, and a soft voice filled your ears.

"You're alright, cariño, we're here with you." You settled instantly when you heard Mapi speak, the beeping that you now realized was measuring your heart rate slowing down again. It took a few more minutes before you got your eyes to open, and, by that point, you remembered where you were, and why you were there.

It was bright when you looked around. Mapi was in a chair next to you, hand holding yours. You looked around, realizing Ingrid was supposed to be there, as was Alexia. Even just waking up from surgery, you wanted to see your girlfriend, more than anything.

"Ingrid?" You croaked out, directing the question to Mapi. She smiled when she heard your voice, and helped you take a few sips of the water on the table in front of you.

"She's just talking to the doctor, she'll be back in a bit," Mapi informed you. There was something off, though, a tightness to her smile that shouldn't be there. It could have been her general discontent being in the hospital, but something in your gut told you that it wasn't that.

"What's wrong?" You asked, forcing your eyes back open when the slid shut again.

"Nothing," Mapi lied, looking at the door almost pleadingly.

"María, what is going on," you said. Before she could lie again, Ingrid and Alexia appeared in the doorway, the doctor behind them. Ingrid smiled softly when she saw you awake, moving forward to sit next to the bed, and kiss your temple. You returned her smile, but focused back on the doctor. He looked... not troubled, but like he was about to deliver bad news.

"What went wrong?" You asked him, feeling suddenly much more awake.

He smiled sympathetically. "Nothing went wrong, the surgery was successful. There was more damage to your surrounding muscles than we expected, so we had to go to the hamstring instead of the patellar tendon for replacement tissue. It means a slightly harder recovery, as you also need to strengthen the area where the graft came from."

You were quiet for a moment. You'd thought so hard about the surgery, considered every aspect, but didn't think that this was a possibility. You weren't quite sure what to think.

"How much longer will recovery be?" You asked.

"The time shouldn't be affected, but you'll be in more pain at the beginning." He explained. You let out a sigh of relief. You could handle more pain, what you couldn't handle was being off the pitch any longer than you already were going to have to be. The doctor informed you that you were free to go once you were more awake, confirming that you'd made a follow up appointment to remove the sutures, before leaving the room.

You looked down then, seeing your leg wrapped up in heavy white gauze, encased in a black brace. Your knee had been swollen before, yes, but it hadn't really looked like anything was wrong with it. Now, though, it was glaringly obvious, a stark reminder of the long months ahead.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Ingrid asked, tearing you from your thoughts. It took you a minute to gather your thoughts, but when you did, you addressed everyone in the room, trying to put their obvious nerves at ease.

"It's fine. As long as I can get back to playing in the same amount of time, I don't care what they use. I can deal with the pain." You smiled at your girlfriends, and at Alexia. They all returned the gesture, glad to see that you weren't too upset.

-----

You were feeling less confident the next day. The initial drugs wore off, leaving you in considerably more pain than before. Your knee felt hot and swollen, and it throbbed painfully anytime you got up. You were in the extra bedroom, having insisted that Ingrid and Mapi sleep in your bedroom together, so no one would worry about accidentally bumping you. They were reluctant, and Mapi checked on you at least 10 times the first night.

Ingrid had finally managed to get a enough sleep, though, after struggling the whole time she was gone. She was exhausted, and slept for 14 hours. When she woke up, she was furious that you and Mapi hadn't woken her, seeing as though both of you had been up for hours. You, because your knee felt like it had been run over by a snow plow, and Mapi, also because your knee felt like it had been run over by a snow plow. She hated seeing you in pain, and she had hovered over you all morning.

Ingrid shuffled into the extra room a few minutes after finally waking up, curling up next to you in the bed.

"How are you?" She mumbled, looking up at you, face still scrunched with sleep. You smiled down at her, running your finger over the sleep lines etched into her skin.

"Did you sleep well?" You asked, ignoring her question. She yawned, snuggling into your good leg, laying her head on your thigh.

"Slept good. Would have slept better with you there, though." She said, voice muffled against your skin. "You didn't answer my question."

"It hurts." You said simply. You didn't want to talk about it, so you changed the subject. "I missed you." You said. You'd been so out of it yesterday, you didn't really feel like you had enjoyed having Ingrid back home.

"I missed you too, elskling. I'm sorry I wasn't home sooner."

"Don't be. You were where you needed to be. You're home now, that's all that matters." Ingrid smiled at you, eyes fluttering shut again. Sleepy Ingrid was your favorite, and you began to run your fingers through her thick hair, avoiding the tangles. She hummed with pleasure, relaxing further into you.

"How are you feeling, amor?" Mapi asked from the doorway, looking anxiously at you. The smile fell from your lips. Was this what the next 9 months would be like? Every nice moment interrupted by your stupid injury?

"I'm fine, Mapi." You said, voice slightly harsher than it needed to be.

-----

This began a new pattern to your behavior. When you were distracted, you were fine, happy to be with your girls. When you weren't distracted, though, you were miserable. In pain, mostly helpless, and in a foul mood. It only worsened when you girlfriend's asked you questions about how you were feeling; you knew you were being ridiculous, but you felt like the only think you guys talked about was your knee.

Your newfound grumpiness did not, however, mean that you were expressing your emotions. On the contrary, they had never been more inaccessible. Your anger never faltered into sadness; frustration, sure, but neither of your girls could get you to acknowledge that you were upset.

As the weeks passed, and the recovery felt like it was going too slow, you grew more resistant to the help your girlfriend's were anxious to provide. Things were tense around the house, your girlfriends felt like they were walking on eggshells around you, waiting for your frosty exterior to crack, which it eventually did.

-----

You were in the Barcelona gym, 3 weeks post op. You were doing simple exercises, walking from one end of the room to the other, bending and flexing your knee, raising up on your toes. Things that should be easy, but weren't any longer. Alexia was on the other side of the gym, doing a much more complicated exercise. Ingrid and Mapi were out on the pitch, presumably. There was just one physio with you guys today, watching carefully as you did the world's lamest and smallest squats, barely bending your knee, leaning against a table. There was soft music playing throughout the gym, and it was rather peaceful.

That is, until Alexia dropped the barbell she was lifting with a loud clatter. You startled at the sound, twisting without thinking to look towards the noise. As soon as you did, you realized your bad leg was still planted when you turned. It didn't turn much, but it was enough for your knee to erupt in pain.

"Fuck!" You shouted, and Alexia was at your side in a second, as was the physio. "Fuck, something's wrong, jesus," you said, leaning back on the table and taking the weight off your knee.

"Alright, relax, let me look," the physio said, guiding you to lay back on the table. Alexia moved to stand by your head, laying a hand on your shoulder.

"Something is wrong," you said again, even though the pain was rapidly fading. The physio looked at your knee, poking and prodding at it gently, before looking at you.

"How much does it hurt?" He asked calmly.

Tears were stinging your eyes, and your voice trembled as you responded. "Not-not much, it's fading."

"No pain?" He asked again after a minute, applying pressure to each side of your knee.

"No, not anymore," you choked out.

"I don't think anything is wrong. If it was, the pain wouldn't be fading. The incisions look fine. You're okay, you just tweaked it."

"No, no, no. Something is wrong, it doesn't feel right, Ale it doesn't feel right." You cried, turning your attention to Alexia over you, her hand moving up and down your arm. You were fully panicking now, tears falling freely down your face, hands gripping at your shirt as if to tether you to the present. Alexia exchanged a look with the physio.

"Chica, you're okay, this is normal, nothing is wrong." She assured you, but you just shook your head frantically in response.

"No, I messed something up," you gasp. You sat up suddenly, almost smacking your head into Alexia's face. "I need scans, I need to do something," you say, moving to get off the table. Your knee didn't hurt anymore, but you couldn't shake the feeling that you had messed something up, horribly so. Alexia stopped you, resting her hands on your shoulders, holding you down on the table.

"Y/n, you need to calm down. You haven't messed anything up, everything is okay." She soothed. It clearly wasn't working to calm you, so she turned to the physio. "Get Mapi and Ingrid," she murmured before turning her attention back to you.

"Come on, amiga, you need to calm down," Alexia said. You could only shake your head, broken sobs falling past your lips. You hid your face in your hands, completely disconnecting from the world around you. Your ears were ringing, the only thing you could hear was blood pumping in your ears. You didn't know how much time had passed before different set of hands were cradling your face, urging you to look up. You do, and find the worried faces of your girlfriends in front of you. Ingrid has her hands on your face, and Mapi has taken one of your hands in hers, squeezing gently.

"Somethings... wr-wrong, help," you get out, looking between them frantically.

"No kjære, it's okay, nothing is wrong." Ingrid promised. For some reason, you believed her when you hadn't believed the others.

"Are you- are you sure?" You asked.

"Yes, cariño, the physio said you just tweaked it. You are completely fine." Mapi said softly.

"I didn't mess it up?"

"No, darling, you didn't mess anything up."

You nodded jerkily, leaning forward to rest your head on Ingrid's sternum, tugging on Mapi's hand until she moves closer.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry about the barbell, it slipped out of my hands," Alexia begins from the other side of the table, and you can hear the guilt in her voice.

"It's okay, Ale, it's not your fault." You mumbled into Ingrid's chest, reaching a hand out to the side. Alexia grabs it sighing in relief, squeezing once, before pulling away, giving you and your girlfriends some privacy. You stayed hidden away, leaning against Ingrid. You're clearly still emotional, but you don't seem interested in speaking, or moving again. It's quiet for a few moments, before you finally pulling away, wiping at your eyes.

"Can we go home?" You asked.

"Yeah, let's go home." Mapi agreed easily. You stood, taking a tentative step. Your face burns with embarrassment when you don't feel anything out of the ordinary in your knee. You'd freaked out for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

-----

You'd been sitting in silence on the couch since you'd arrived home 20 minutes ago, staring blankly at the dark TV. Your knee was propped up in Ingrid's lap, an icepack wrapped snuggly around the swollen appendage. Mapi was on your other side, resisting the urge to take you by the shoulders, shake you, and beg you to talk to them. Her and Ingrid had agreed to let you come to them, though. There was no use pushing you. Their patience is finally rewarded.

"Sorry I freaked out and you both had to leave training early." You said, raw voice startling your girlfriend's out of their thoughts.

"Don't be so-"

"-Please don't tell me not to be sorry. I've been such a burden for weeks, and you keep telling me not to be sorry about it. I am sorry about it, and I don't understand why you aren't annoyed with me." You cut in, spitting the words with an intensity neither of women was expecting.

"You are not a burden, y/n," Ingrid said, hurt bleeding into her tone.

"Yes I am," you dismiss. "You've had to do everything for me these past few weeks, and all I've done is act like the world has ended. It's just a knee injury, I don't know why I'm acting like this."

"Amor, it is okay if you feel like the world has ended. This is a big thing, and you are allowed to feel things. You don't have to push everything down, it's not healthy."

You shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact. "You already have to take care of me. You shouldn't have to deal with the mess inside my head too."

"You could not be burden, darling, not to us. We don't mind taking care of you, not at all. And we want to know what's going on inside your head. It's been driving us crazy, not knowing what you're feeling. We want to know, y/n, we want to know it all." Ingrid's voice has a clear undertone of determination in it.

"You guys are so busy," you argue weakly. They were; the past weeks juggling you and the team had been draining. It was obvious to you. They hadn't realized how much you'd noticed it.

"We are never too busy for you, amor, and I'm so sorry if we've made you feel like we are." Mapi said gently. "You are our priority."

You finally looked up at them, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It's just been hard. You guys get to go play, and I stay here, or go to the gym. And you spend all this time together at training. All the time you spend with me is you guys making sure my knee is okay."

Both of your girlfriend's faces are ones of horror at your confession. They hadn't realized you'd been feeling like this, not at all.

Mapi places a hard kiss on your temple, resting her chin on your head. "If I could switch places with you, cariño, I would. Watching you go through this, be in so much pain, has been killing me. I want to fix it, but I can't. All I can do is try to help, try to make you feel better. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were just a task for us, just a chore to be taken care of. You are our girl, nuestra niña bonita, and we love you, more than anything."

There are silent tears falling from your eyes when Mapi is done talking. She's said everything you've needed to hear this whole time, but were too nervous, too worried about being a burden to them to ask for their reassurance. Ingrid's hand lifts, carefully wiping a tear off your cheek, prompting you to look at her.

"No more of this, okay? When you need us, whether it's attention, or our help with something, or just a distraction, you tell us. You tell us, and we'll do it, whatever you need. You're not alone in this, darling. We're here for anything, really. Just like you would be for us if the roles were reversed."

You feel slightly silly when she reminds you of that. Obviously, you would do everything within your power to help one of your girlfriend's if they were going through this. Why you expected them to not really want to do the same was beyond you.

"Okay." You murmur, eyes on Ingrid as she scoots closer, pressing into your other side. You've been reminded of something, something Ingrid had promised you over the phone. Whatever you want, she'd said. You knew what you wanted, and you knew you needed to ask for it.

"Could I ask for something now?" You wonder quietly, and you hear Mapi laugh above you, clearly anticipating what you're about to ask for. Ingrid has the decency to pretend she doesn't know.

"What would that be?" She asks, placing her hand on your upper thigh.

"You promised me something about you and Mapi doing whatever I wanted?" You grin.

"Hmm, do you think you're ready for that, elskling?"

"God, yes. I'm ready, I promise." Your voice is already needy, already desperate.

"Mapi, go get things ready." Ingrid instructed, and you feel Mapi rise from next to you, and walk away into the bedroom.

"How do you know what to get ready if I haven't said what I want?" You questioned, looking up into the Norwegian's dark eyes.

Ingrid leaned forward, pressing light kisses in a trail up your jaw, stopping just by your ear. "I know what you want better than you do, pretty girl. I thought you knew that by now."

You shivered with excitement. "Don't be too careful with me, okay?"

"We'll be as careful as we need to be," Ingrid promised. Ingrid's lips meet yours, pressing harder than she has in weeks. It's the most she's touched you since your surgery, really, and you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her closer. The wait will have been worth it, you're sure of that.

-----

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #mapi leon x ingrid engen x reader #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon x ingrid engen #ingrid engen x reader

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chukys-mouthguard · 4 months ago

Text

fight night

2.5k words

genre: angst, minor fluff, suggested smut

featuring: auston matthews x female reader

summary: after a fight results in auston uninviting you to the nhl awards, you both end up at UFC 303

“Look, you need to chill the fuck out okay? If you don’t like the people I’m hanging out with here, then don’t bother fucking coming tonight. I’ll just see you when I’m back in town.”

Before you could get another word in, Auston had hung up the phone. The two of you getting in a heated argument about the people he was hanging out with while in Las Vegas for a slew of appearances. The most important being the NHL Awards, which you were supposed to attend alongside him. But not anymore.

You didn’t hate Auston’s friend group per say, but he’d been adopting a new workout routine for the offseason, and they didn’t necessarily seem to be helping that. He’d been drinking a lot, something that wasn’t necessarily uncommon for him, but heavy drinking was not going to put him on good terms with his conditioning coach.

Having just expressed your concerns turning into a huge fight between the two of you. It probably didn’t help that you hadn’t seen in each other in weeks, the awards show meant to be the event that brought you two back together. But now here you were, already in Vegas since you’d flown in that day, with your agenda now cleared. Your flight home not for two days as you anticipated spending time with Auston before flying back out.

As you contemplated rebooking your flight, a call came in from your manager, not something you had been expecting.

“Hey y/n, you’re in Las Vegas for a few days right?”

“Um, yeah, I’m in Vegas right now. What’s up?”

“Well, you know how we just closed that sponsorship deal for you with New Amsterdam Vodka?”

Truly you had no clue how your manager landed you that sponsorship, it being one of the best brands you’d gotten a deal with to date. You’d like to think it was because of how much you publicized your love for Pink Whitney, but who really knows.

“Well, they had some things come up. And long story short, can you attend the UFC fight tomorrow night? We’ve got Olivia on a plane flying in as we speak.”

Olivia was your podcast co-host that was also signed to a deal with New Amsterdam. The two of you were the hottest up and coming podcasters who were quickly gaining notoriety for your ability to talk sports and pop culture, while making it entertaining and understandable for all audiences.

“Um, yeah, I can definitely attend the fight. My schedule is completely free.”

“Great! We’ve got an itinerary for the both of you that I’ll send over shortly, because there’s gonna be some brand activation type things needed. And we’ve got stylists coming to your hotel tomorrow afternoon to help you girls with outfits, hair, and makeup!”

After giving you the last few details, you hung up with your manager. A bit shocked at the opportunity you were getting, but thankful to have some sort of distraction to look forward to and hopefully get your mind off the fight you had with Auston.

Entering T-Mobile arena, you honestly weren’t sure what to expect out of the much anticipated UFC 303, but it was something to cross off your bingo card for the year. Despite your lack of interest in the fights themselves, you were excited to attend and at least say you were there.

Olivia had gotten in late last night and you had to fill her in on everything. Why you fought with Auston, how he uninvited you from being his guest at the awards show. And how you were thankful for this appearance to get your mind off of him. The stylists had thrown together a more casual look for you: light wash ripped boyfriend jeans, a white tank top, and an oversized black and yellow racing jacket. Elevating the look a bit with some heeled boots. Olivia’s outfit complimenting yours well, both your hair and makeup done just enough to look minimal but still flawless. And with a few New Amsterdam cocktails already in your systems, you were ready to roll.

The arena had all the celebrities attending enter away from the general public, meaning you’d be passing some familiar faces in the tunnels as you were led to your seats. Everyone from Gordon Ramsey to Aaron Rodgers, even-your boyfriend.

“Well fuck…”

Immediately noticing the reason for your reaction, Olivia tried to block Auston from seeing you. But it was too late. His eyes went wide as he saw you, looking you up and down, thank god you looked this good. He was with fellow NHLer Clayton Keller as they awaited an usher to guide them to their seats.

Though shocked to see you at the event, he knew it must have been something your manager had pulled off for you. A soft smile on Auston’s lips as he watched you interact with the New Amsterdam reps, he couldn’t help but be proud of you. He’s seen how much you’ve poured into your podcast, and how hard you’ve worked for moments like these. Despite the argument, he still cared about you and loved seeing you in your element.

He hadn’t gotten the chance to say anything as you were quickly pulled off in the opposite direction. Most likely to film some type of ad for the brand. Pulling out his phone he shot you a quick text, making sure you got to hear from him in case he didn’t see you the rest of the night.

You look so fucking beautiful my love.

The text brought a smile to your face as you quickly typed back a response before you were pulled aside for an interview alongside Olivia.

“Lastly, y/n, I wanted to extend a congratulations to your boyfriend, Auston Matthews of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Winner of the Richard Trophy last night at the NHL Awards.”

“Oh thank you so much.”

The comment was a bit unexpected, though it wasn’t uncommon to get asked about Auston since your relationship was very much public.

“We didn’t see you in attendance last night with Auston, hopefully there isn’t any trouble in paradise there?”

Laughing off the comment you shook your head, “No, not at all! There unfortunately was some last minute conflicts that prevented me from attending. But I’m so proud of him, I wish I could have been there. Luckily we have a night like tonight where we can just have some fun, and celebrate. So, I’m glad we were able to both be here!”

The interview wrapped up and you took a deep breath, Olivia squeezing your arm in reassurance. “I don’t know how you pulled that answer out of your ass, but that was so good!” The two of you laughed as an usher finally led you to your seats.

“I truly don’t even know what answer I gave, my brain was on autopilot. I’m just glad I didn’t say something stupid.”

“Are you gonna talk to him tonight at all?”

Stopping in your tracks as your usher gestured to your seats, your eyes settling on your boyfriend who was standing with his friends just next to where you’d be sitting for the night.

“Well I might not have much of a choice if I’m stuck sitting next to him.”

The two of you set your bags down at your seats, mingling a bit with the people around you. Remembering how your manager always preached to you both network as much as possible at events like these.

As you were talking with a rep from some coffee brand, trying your best to convince them to send some product to you girls to try, you felt an arm snacking around your waist. Immediately knowing it was Auston as your hand entangled with his at your hip.

Thanking the rep for their time, giving them your agents number, you finally were able to turn your attention to Auston. Who patiently stood at your side, a smile on his face as he watched you doing your thing.

“Hey baby.”

“Hi.”

He gave you a kiss before pulling you into his chest, rubbing your back as he knew you were still frustrated with him. Doing his best to try and make up for being an asshole.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight?”

He pulled you towards your seats, his hand immediately resting on your thigh as you sat down. Eyes fixated on you as he sipped his drink.

“Well, neither did I. Until I got the call ten minutes after someone uninvited me from their awards show last night.”

You shot him a glare as he gently squeezed your thigh. “Look, about that, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted like that and-“

“Auston, it’s fine. Tonight, I just want to have fun, we don’t need to talk about it right now. Especially because I’ve had enough cocktails that you get me riled up, you and I will end up in that ring as the main event.”

He smirked at you as he leaned in close, stealing a kiss from you. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

Pushing him away as you tried to hide your blush, you ignored his horny thoughts. “Auston Matthews, we might need to cut you off. Someone is already feeling themselves tonight.”

A slight whine left his lips as he moved his hand, now draping an arm over your shoulder. “I can’t help that you look so good babe. Plus, I haven’t seen you in weeks, you expect me to not have my hands all over you? Most importantly, I need to make up for being such a dick last night.”

“Well that is very true. I didn’t even get to celebrate your big trophy win with you.”

A pout on your lips as you glanced up at him, deciding that you’d have some fun making him regret not inviting you. “I even brought your favorite blue lace set to wear under my dress last night, but, it just stayed in my suitcase since you didn’t want me there.” Fingers lightly playing with his chains as you spoke, making sure to really get under his skin.

The look in his eyes immediately turning to one of lust as he thought about the set in question. Baby blue lace that hugged your curves perfectly, and while it looked amazing on you he loved it even better on the floor.

“And I said I was sorry baby. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Tilting your chin up he brought your lips to his, clearly forgetting the two of you were in public as his tongue tried pushing past your lips. A slight chuckle leaving your lips as you pulled away from him.

“Babe, I love that you’re wanting to make it up to me. But maybe not front row for everyone to see, okay?”

He rolled his eyes as he obeyed, simply returning a hand to your thigh as the two of you watched as the main events were set to begin shortly.

You swore Auston’s hand crept closer and closer to your inner thigh with the ending of each fight. The alcohol mixed with the thoughts of you wearing his favorite lingerie clearly having him hot and bothered. And while you weren’t turning down the idea, it having been several weeks since you’d gotten your hand on him, you were still here for work and needed to act professional.

He luckily kept his cool for the remainder of the night, respecting when you had to remind him that you were there for work while he was there for fun. The two of you leaving hand in hand as he definitely was not letting you out of his sight. His mind focused on getting you back to his hotel and making up for not having you by his side at the awards show.

The second the door to his room closed you were pulled into his lap as he sat at the edge of the bed. One hand resting on your hip while the other pulled you in for a kiss.

“You do look fucking stunning tonight baby.”

A smile crept across your lips as your arms wrapped around his neck, thanking him as your eyes locked with his. “And, I’m sorry about last night. I should’ve never been that way, I needed you there with me. And, I let some dumb shit get me all worked up. I know you are just looking out for me, and I appreciate that so much. I love how much you care for me.”

Resting your forehead on his, you sighed, not even caring about the fight anymore. Knowing it was stupid, but appreciating his apology.

“I do care about you, a lot. And, maybe sometimes I overstep a bit. But it’s all out of love for you Auston. I wish I could’ve been there for you last night, but I’m here now. And there’s no place I’d rather be.”

“While I couldn’t agree more, I do wish I could’ve gotten to see that blue lace set on you last night. Would’ve been a nice way to celebrate that’s for sure.”

Slipping from his lap as he hands reached out to try and pull you back, you slowly discarded of your jacket. Standing in front of him with a smile on your face as he watched you in anticipation.

“Well, maybe we can still celebrate a day late.”

Pulling your tank top over your head, you revealed that you were in fact in the blue lace number. Auston biting his tongue at the sight of you in the bra, his hands wanting to make quick work of your jeans to see you in the matching thong.

“Fuck…but if you didn’t know you’d see me tonight, why wear the blue?”

“Shut up and just enjoy the coincidence Auston!”

Shaking your head you walked back over to him, pulling him in for a kiss as his hands made quick work of your jeans. Needing to see you fully on display in blue lace just for him. As you kicked off the jeans, he sat back on his forearms, lust filled eyes watching as you did a spin for him.

“God you’re so fucking perfect.”

Without warning he picked you up, lips crashing against yours while his hands rested under your ass gripping tightly as your skin and surely leaving a few marks.

You giggled as he tossed you on the bed, making quick work of his clothes, leaving him in just his briefs as he hovered over you. Tucking some hair behind your ear as his hips ground into your core, earning a moan from you as you felt him growing hard against you. The two of you taking your time, kissing for what felt like hours, no hurry as you wanted to savor every second of your time with one another.

“I love you so much Auston, and I’m so proud of you. But if you ever uninvite me from something like that ever again, so help me god.”

He rolled his eyes as a hand traveled down to the string of your thong, snapping it slightly as his fingers teased at your core.

“Relax baby, I’m gonna make up for it all.”

#auston matthews fic #auston matthews x reader #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews smut #auston matthews #nhl imagine #nhl fics #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagine #hockey fic #nhl blurb

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waldau-archived · 7 months ago

Note

hi! can i request reader kissing mingyu's moles, please? or his whole face, honestly 😚 (the urge to pepper kisses across his pretty face is too much sometimes 🥺)

homecoming — kim mingyu | 1,561 words | fluff

this. also i accidentally typed "abby" instead of "baby" so cheers to that. since it's already the sixth in korea, happy birthday to none other than our very own kim mingyu!!! he's a huge ball of human sunshine and i love him so much :) thanks for sending in this request at such a good time, anon!

gender neutral reader. warnings: none.

there's very few things mingyu loves more than you, his members and what does he does for a living.

okay, that's a lie. there's only one thing he loves more than you, his members, and what he does for a living.

it happens to be coming home to you.

as much as he loves going to new places and trying new things, there's something about the knowledge, the certainty of coming back home to you every single time that makes him giddy all the way from his head to his toes. he could be absolutely sleep-deprived because of his terrible international schedules or because of his turbulent flights, but the thought of coming back home to you breathes life into him like nothing else.

he could almost fly to you, when he makes a mental list of everything he's going to do with you when he comes back home, free from schedules and appearances even just for a little while. he loves seeing the literal light in your eyes that appears when you spot him. he loves your arms which cling onto him with almost as much strength as he usually has, and the kisses you give him.

maybe, just maybe, mingyu is indecisive when it comes to you. but he can't choose only one thing he loves about you. he loves when you smile at him, when you tell him about everything that's happened in your day, when you let him in on jokes with your friends, when you get him things that reminded you of him, when you stroke his hair oh-so gently when he has a headache — the list is endless. and every single thing about you makes him love you a little more every single day.

mingyu is sappy. he doesn't mind being called a simp in the least. how could simping be a bad thing, when it comes to you? he's proud of the way he shows off how much he loves you, loves the way you don't shy away from showing him off to your friends, and is amused by the way his members pretend to be disgusted every single time they see you being affectionate with each other. he loves being yours and he loves that you're his, too.

but this?

coming back home to you a day before he promised to be back? pushing open the door to your shared bedroom and seeing your eyes widen before you push your laptop away and throw yourself at him, squeezing him so hard that he coughs and pats your back?

it might be his most favourite thing about you. so far.

"gyu!" you finally exclaim, pulling back to look up into his eyes. "i thought you were coming back tomorrow?"

"we had a choice to go back earlier if we wanted, so i took it. obviously."

"obviously," you repeat.

once upon a time mingyu was shy to hold eye contact with you for even five seconds, but now he swears he can do it for hours, if you would let him, and if both of you had the time. "i missed you. so much."

"i know, baby," he says, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "because i missed you too."

you say nothing, simply wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest, pressing kisses to his collarbone over his shirt. mingyu wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you close and letting you hold him for however long you want to. you hate being away from him for so long, and he hates it too, but being like this with you makes up for it.

"dinner?" you ask, pulling away from him. "and then cuddles?"

"i'm not too hungry," he says, hands now moving down to your waist, unwilling to let go so soon. "but i'll take cuddles first. we can have something before we sleep."

"done."

you stare into each other's eyes for what feels like just a few seconds to mingyu before you kiss the tip of his nose. "what was that for?"

"did you forget you wanted to shower? you texted me about looking forward to using our new shower."

mingyu groans, hands bunching up the fabric of your hoodie. his old hoodie, now yours. "do i have to?"

"you said you wanted to, baby. won't it help you sleep better?"

just because you're right doesn't mean it's fun. he huffs and makes a big show of letting you go, loving the placating kisses you place on his cheek. both of you know it's going to be a lost cause if you kiss him on the lips. you give him one final kiss before promising to cuddle with him the whole night.

true to your word, you're waiting on the couch underneath a blanket, snacks arranged on the table in front of you, and the television in standby. there's this show you started watching together before he left for his tour, and as much as mingyu wants to know what happens after last episode's cliffhanger, nothing seems more enticing than holding you in his arms and marvelling the fact that he's back with you again.

his favourite person in the whole world.

"really? your favourite?" you ask, turning around in his arms and looking up at him, chin resting on his chest. you look so good, he thinks, heart twinging mildly for no reason.

"hm?"

"you just said i was your favourite person."

he didn't realize he's said that out loud. "yeah," he says, grinning, because it's true. "of course you are."

"and you're mine. my favourite human."

"...human? you have a favourite non-human thing, too?"

"wonwoo's cat," you say solemnly. "obviously."

"hey," he pouts, grumpy just the slightest bit. "you're my favourite everything. i should be your favourite everything, too."

"but you're my everything," you say with a straight face. "and i'd love you even if you became a cat somehow."

"stop," mingyu mumbles, pushing his face into your hair so you don't see him blushing. "you can't attack me like that."

"you're my boyfriend, so..."

mingyu huffs and settles his chin on your head. it's comforting, your familiar weight in his arms as he feels your ear press down right over where his heart is. he hopes you hear how it's beating for you.

"hey," you say a while later, muffled by mingyu's hoodie. he lets go of you just enough so you can turn and look at him. "how was your tour?"

"i missed cooking for you," he blurts out. "i mean, the food was great, and i know you would've loved seeing the places we saw, but i just missed seeing you smile."

"yeah?" you ask, a shy smile taking over your face. you've been together for quite a while and it still amazes mingyu that you get shy every time he says something like that. he hopes you know he's never going to stop.

"mhm. i think...i think we should go to LA the next time you're free."

"we're free, you mean," you say with a small frown. "it's so hard for us to get holidays at the same time these days."

"i know," mingyu soothes you, kissing your forehead. "but i like being like this with you. and i'll be like this for however long you want us to."

"forever," you say immediately, drawing a giggle out of mingyu.

"if only."

you sigh and push yourself up so that you're straddling mingyu's waist, legs on either side of his thighs, hands on his shoulders holding him in place. then you lean down, and even though he knows what's coming, it doesn't stop a little shiver from running through his body.

"welcome home, gyu," you say, pulling away from his lips. "i love you."

mingyu struggles to form words for a few moments. "i love you, too," he breathes out eventually. it just never stops being true. in fact, the more he says it, the truer it gets. you're his everything as well.

"i love you."

mingyu frowns. "i...love you...too? so much?"

you shake your head and the next thing he knows is that he's being attacked with tiny kisses to his face. little imprints of your love over every inch of his skin you're able to lay your lips on.

"stop!" he giggles, making no actual attempt to dislodge you. "it tickles!"

"one for every day you were away from me," you say, before attacking him again.

it's only after a minute that he manages to pull you off, making you sit on him again. "hey, i definitely wasn't away for a month! i'm scared to see what you'll do if i'm gone for that long."

"i'll find a way to tag along somehow. also, did you know?"

"hmm?"

"your moles are where your lover kissed you the most in your previous life."

mingyu blinks. "do you believe that?"

you shrug. "it sounds nice, doesn't it?"

"only if you were my lover in my past life."

you turn your face away from him, and even though he can't see you, he knows you're too flustered to come up with words.

"i just realized," he says, turning your face gently back to him, "you don't have any moles near your lips. want me to fix that so we can look at them in our next life?"

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @viewvuu

#THIS MAN <3333 #also damn i'm kinda impressed with how fast i managed to write this #kim mingyu #kim mingyu fluff #seventeen #seventeen fluff #svt #svt fluff #mingyu #fluff #waldau writes #req

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gretagerwigsmuse · 1 year ago

Text

rocketman: part i - it's just my job five days a week

Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw is on a three month special detachment in the pacific and the holidays have never felt lonelier for either of you. it's just three months, it'll be fine, right?

OR you and bradley write each other 159 emails

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 11.8k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, bradley needs to remember this is a government email server...(okay yes, i am perfectly aware that our esteemed lieutenant commander would probably get kicked out of the navy for some of these emails…that being said, i also don’t particularly care! we’re playing fast and loose with the time stamps too because i may be smart, but math has never been a strong suit of mine!) enjoy the companion playlist! rest of the series can be found here!

12/17 @ 6:19am

I miss you already and I haven’t even left the parking lot. I’m still in my car typing this after having stayed for probably far too long watching your C-40 take off (like people were staring at me I was there so long)(and, yes, I looked up the name of the plane). Pete asked me if I wanted to get breakfast with him, but I said no. Felt too lost. Plus, I need to get ready for work. We’re going to get dinner on Wednesday before I head up to Berkeley Thursday morning, though!

Hope you have a safe transport and settle onboard quickly. I left you something in your duffle bag (yes, it’s safe to open around other people…head out of the gutter, Bradshaw).

Love you and stay safe, x

12/18 @ 5:46pm

Just dropped off the gifts at the Junior League for Caroline’s adopt a child thing. She was completely in her element (they gave her a clipboard and a bullhorn!), though she did say we went wayyy too over the top. But little Carter asked for all that stuff! We couldn’t just not get it all for him? She also appreciated your wrapping skills, very impressed with the bows and tight corners. I met a couple of her friends there, which was nice and they invited me to stay for drinks (the prosecco was flowing…), but I wanted to head home.

I miss you so much already, it feels weird not going over to your place after work and making dinner and prepping lunch together - and it’s only been two days. I know you’re on a comms blackout for the next couple days, so I’m just gonna keep sending these so you’ll have a bunch to read all at once.

All my love, x

12/19 @ 11:48am

My brother and Lauren decided to come out here for Christmas after all! My dad was so excited when he called me, but I think Mary’s a little less enthused. Feels like shit knowing we were the backup option for them. Apparently, Lauren’s mom is sick and the whole house is in disarray (not hard in that family…) so my dad is paying for them to fly in from New York tomorrow. I think it’ll be nice, we’ll almost have a full set (baring you, of course, my darling rocketman), so the house won’t be as lonely. Do you think we’ll get to talk on Christmas or Christmas Eve? You should be getting a package soon (‘twas preemptively sent!) and are under strict orders not to open it until Christmas Eve, buddy!

Going to dinner with Pete tonight, I’ll let you know how it goes. Amelia’s coming with us, but I don’t know about Penny? I hope they like the gifts we got them. I’m going to stop by your place, do a once over, and make sure the tree is ready for Pete to take, etc. before I leave on Thursday.

Love you and talk soon! x

12/20 @ 7:03am

House looked good! In my seat on the plane. If my morals were shakier, I would 1000% have taken Max up on his offer to fly me up to Berkeley. But alas! Climate change is real and private jets account for 20x as many carbon emissions as commercial planes, so I am up at the ass-crack of dawn for this 7:15am flight. I’ll message you when I land, love you!

12/20 @ 9:04am

Just landed - easy flight. Now to find my dad in arrivals…

Love you, talk when you get the chance! x

12/23 @ 4:45am

Hey sweetheart! Back online and all settled in. I’m bunking with Payback and we actually have a pretty decent layout. He graciously offered to give me the bottom bunk, due to my ‘geriatric status.�� Honestly, I’m just glad I don’t have to sleep in the bunk room with the ensigns and rest of the crew. I forgot how noisy it is being on an aircraft carrier, which makes Payback’s snoring surprisingly pleasant. I’m glad he and Bob are with me. The rest of this squadron’s from Lemoore and Bob knows some of them. It’s interesting seeing him and Payback fly together, but they mesh really well.

Glad Mav is there to keep an eye on you.

Okay, I had way too much fun picking out all those presents, so I really hope Carter loves them too. And please tell me you have a picture of Caroline yelling into the bullhorn? I can truly think of nothing scarier than Caroline Calloway ordering the young women of San Diego county around like Santa’s chief elf. And speaking of gifts, I loved my pictures. The one from the Christmas party is my favorite, did Fanboy take it? I saw him running around with his Pentax. When the hell did you have time to print it? I’ve got it hanging up in my bunk so I can see it every night.

I still don’t understand why you don’t fly into Oakland instead of SFO? Like I get it, you’re not a Spirit or SW girl, but kid….it’s an hour and forty minute flight? Live a little. And I think it’ll be nice having your brother and Lauren around for Christmas. How many people do you think it’ll be? I always loved seeing Christmas Eves with large families in movies and stuff, all the chaos and whatnot? But it’s just gonna be you five Christmas Day? I’ve heard rumblings that I might be first in line for a Facetime on Christmas Eve, so save some time for me too, kid. I’ll let you know for sure in a couple days.

Okay, think we’re all caught up now. Talk soon and love you so much,

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 9:08am

Bubs! I read your email four times since I woke up, I can’t stop smiling. I’m glad you’re all settled in - Reuben’s snoring and ageism aside haha. How’s the food? Do you want earplugs? A sleep mask? Are earplugs allowed for sleeping? What if you need to get up right away and you can’t hear? I could send you a white noise machine? Or is there a fear of hacking with that? I should’ve done more research on this before you left. Tell me if you need anything, I’ll send it out express! Oh, I’m just so happy to hear from you. Keep me posted!

Lots of love, x

12/23 @ 8:53pm

You and me, hot date tomorrow night at 11:45pst - don’t be late. (And look cute.)

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 8:55pm

I’ll be there 😉 Love you, x

12/25 @ 9:56am

Bradley Bradshaw you absolute sneak! How on Earth did you pull a Christmas miracle off!?! Mary said she had no clue, so I’m extremely impressed you got my dad to keep that secret!? I was totally not expecting another present from you? The cooking lessons and apron were more than enough - to say nothing about moving in together!?! I love the bracelet so much, you have no idea. I started crying when I opened it! Mary took a video, which I’m sure she’ll send you. God, Bradley? You didn’t have to do that! It’s perfect, it’s like we’re locked together. I’m gonna wear it everyday. Please email me later if you get the chance!

(Also, Lauren looked really jealous 😉 my brother was sweating)

Love you and Merry Christmas Rocketman! x

12/25 @ 11:38am

Ummm, not sure what you’re talking about, kid? That sounds like something Santa would do? Probably heard about how good you’ve been this year? x

12/25 @ 11:40am

Thank you, I love it so much and wish I could give you the biggest hug and kiss right now. I’ll have an extra slice of babka for you tonight, talk soon and Merry Christmas, Bradley! Love you x

12/27 @ 4:49am

I miss sleeping next to you. Whenever I can’t sleep, I think about the way you looked at me in the living room after our Christmas party. You looked so happy and I hate that I have to leave you for all our firsts. First Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day. And god, sweetheart, you’re so fucking gorgeous it makes me want to lose my mind sometimes. Always thinking about you, Bradley

12/27 @ 8:38am

I miss sleeping next to you, too (especially since your body is like a furnace and you hold me close when I get cold). And I know you being away during the holidays is hard, but look at it this way - we’ll just have our firsts next year. Next year will be our first Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day together, not an ocean apart. We have all the time in the world, rocketman. Love you today and every day x

12/29 @ 6:02pm

There’s already so many things I’m dying to tell you and stories about the squadron we’re teaming up with, but the Navy will have my ass if I give away too many details so I’m just going to leave it at this: are we sure Max doesn’t have a twin on another continent? Take that as you will. What’re your plans for New Year’s? Your Bradley

12/30 @ 9:20am

Sorry for the delayed response! A minor issue with my brother and my dad that I won’t bore you with had the whole house in a tizzy. Thankfully, he and Lauren are gone even though my dad still won’t tell me what the issue was? Anyway! God, I wish I could hear more about Max’s twin? I am honestly kind of scared about knowing there’s a Max doppelgänger in the Navy (jokes!). For New Year’s, I’m going to this party with Mary and dad in the city, it’s at this fancy venue and I have a cute black dress! It’s very different for me and I wish you were here to see it! I’ll have to wear it again. Message me when it’s the New Year your time! Love you! x

01/01 @ 12:09am

Happy New Year, sweetheart! They had a little party for the officers - we even got cake and Bob snuck me and Payback seconds somehow. It’s always the quiet ones you gotta look out for. You absolutely need to send me pictures of you in that dress, I can’t wait to see it on you in person someday. Hope you have a great time with your dad and Mary, give them my best. Love you and again Happy New Year!

Your Bradley

01/01 @ 12:01am

Happy New Year, Bradley!!! You got cake!! You broke some rules! I approve! Milk them for all the cake they’re worth! I’ll send some pics of the three of us and one just for you big boy 😉 Talk soon and love you so so much! x

01/01 @ 10:59am

Had a late start! Here are the pics from last night! Try and sneak some more cake xx

[mary_and_dad_being_annoying.jpg]

[me.jpg]

01/02 @ 6:12am

You know you labeled the pictures wrong…luckily no one was behind me…

01/02 @ 9:04am

Who? Me? I would NEVER! (Just trying to keep you on your toes.) Hope the flying is going well and you’re staying safe, B! Love you!

01/03 @ 8:00pm

Yeah, it’s going well. It’s so different flying on the open ocean after so long? Last time was in September when I went to Hong Kong. The desert is cool, don’t get me wrong, but seeing the clouds and the water together is unreal. The pink and purple clouds remind me of you (sorry, that was lame). You still gotta let me take you up, kid. I’ve heard Mav is trying to convince you, but you gotta let me be the one. Can’t trust just anyone with my girl. Love B

01/04 @ 10:13am

Bradley…he’s practically your father, I’m pretty sure you can trust him to take me up in a plane, you silly boy. Not that I’m saying you won’t be my first…but come on! And it’s not lame. I like that the pink and purple clouds remind you of me. Every time I see a plane I send a little call out for your safety. Gotta keep you safe, rocketman! Talk soon and love you! x

01/06 @ 4:45pm

My parents just dropped me off at the airport and no matter how many times I leave them, I always cry. I think the only time I didn’t cry when I left their house was when you were with me over Thanksgiving. You always make it better, bubs.

They’re coming down in a couple weeks to help me start packing, anything in the house you wouldn’t want them to see while dropping off boxes? I can still bring my old bed, etc for the guest room, right?

All my love, x

01/06 @ 9:58pm

I think I get that, having you around this time makes it different. I’ve never had anyone to really write to while I’ve been away before. Sure, I talked to my grandparents when they were still around and my aunts and uncles, Nat, Ice, and a couple others, but not like this. And I don’t ever want to not feel like this again.

I’m an open book, kid. Ain’t got nothing to hide. And yeah, anything like that feel free to bring with you for the guest room or office. It was the bed, nightstands, and dresser and then your couch for the office, yeah? We can get new bedding and pillows for it if you want? I’m on comms blackout for a couple days, so message me whenever you want so I can read them all when we’re back online.

Your Bradley

01/06 @ 10:07pm

Perfect! Love you and stay safe, rocketman.

01/06 @ 10:09pm

Love you too, kid.

01/09 @ 6:11pm

Bradley, I don’t mean to alarm you, but there was a raccoon in your garage! Scratch that, a FAMILY of raccoons!??! I’m sure Mr Harrington was ready to call the cops when he heard my scream. They’re so cute, but also terrifying at the same time? So, I called Pete and he came right over, a true knight in shining armor! Amelia and I did a THOROUGH sweep of the house to make sure they were relegated to the garage. Pete got them out safe and sound with a random tennis racket and your 4 iron, but somebody’s coming tomorrow to check on how they got in there. And I know they aren’t hurting anyone, but I just don’t want there to be any issues later on? (The babies were actually so cute and reminded me of my cat growing up, Porter.) Anyway! Enough drama for tonight, I hope that gets a laugh out of you - talk soon!

Love you! x

01/10 @ 8:05am

Well, the exterminator got here around 7:30 and sprayed all this stuff and blocked the hole in the crawl space of the garage. He showed me pictures and let me tell you, there was quite the nest up there. These raccoons were living large over the holidays.

01/12 @ 5:21pm

Okay! I’m in the parking lot, waiting for my first cooking class to start. Is it weird I’m a little nervous? I hope everyone else’s skill level is similar, I don’t like feeling behind. I brought my new apron, ironed it and everything. I feel a little like Ina Garten, isn’t she just divine? Okay, okay, I’m going in now! I’ll let you know how it goes! Thanks again for getting me these xx

01/12 @ 7:03pm

I feel so tired? Like my hand cramped a little bit? We started off the class with knife skills, which we’re going to do every week and then made this “simple” egg dish, which was NOT simple and I overcooked the egg. Ina would be so disappointed. Alas! Onto next week. Love you!

01/15 @ 9:12pm

Bradley you’re not going to BELIEVE what just happened on Succession. My heart is POUNDING? Do you think if I called and asked really nicely the Navy would get an HBO subscription for everyone? That is what I would like my tax dollars to go towards. Can you get me a direct line to someone in charge please? Love you!

01/16 @ 7:47am

Not to worry my little Barefoot Contessa, I have returned back to civilization (ie the internet), though am dismayed to have missed this mind blowing Succession episode? Has Perry Mason started back up again or will we be able to watch that together?

Bob and I were in the gym earlier and he almost dropped a dumbbell on my foot, I swear my life flashed before my eyes. But I had a new PR on the bench press today, up to 285 pounds. Glad the cooking lesson went well though! What’s the class makeup like? x Bradley

01/16 @ 9:04am

I’m glad you’re back online and safe! Perry Mason has not started yet, though I’m still certain you’re the only person under the age of 55 that watches it (I guess I should say we’re the only people under the age of 55 that watch it, but whatever). You’ve also missed a couple Top Chef episodes, but we can always binge this season later.

There’s about 12 of us in the class and it’s pretty evenly split? Though there’s tragically this really annoying couple who were at the station next to me. I hope we get to change next week, I don’t think I can watch them feed each other food another week.

And I’m still waiting for that direct line to the Navy, Bradshaw! Love you! x

01/1 6 @ 6:59pm

Wait, wait, how did I miss there? There was a WHAT in my garage? A raccoon? Multiple raccoons? We need to get a dog or a cat or something. x Bradley

01/18 @ 7:02am

Bradley!! I know we talked about a trip once you got home (provided you still feel up for it with the transition and all), what if we went here? I was talking about our tentative plans with my dad and Mary before I went back to San Diego and they went to Punta Mita this past fall and LOVED it! What do you think? Love you!

01/18 @ 6:03pm

Holy shit! That looks absolutely amazing, yes I’d love to go! Can we afford that though? It looks expensive? xBradley

01/18 @ 6:05pm

YAY!! Ahh, I’m so excited you have no idea! I want to hug and kiss you so bad right now! We can fly for free since I have a bunch of AA points (thank you pwc) and then I have like a million Amex points, so it’s not full price!!

01/18 @ 6:12pm

When you say ‘like a million’ do you actually mean a million or?

01/18 @ 6:14pm

Yes! I’ve had this card for like 15 years! My whole family does the pooling on it! It’s a drop in the bucket, promise! Plus, I always use my other card for work and that has a whole bunch of Bonvoy points on it, too. We could stay at one of those? I think there’s a St Regis next door?

01/18 @ 6:22pm

Sweetheart, I want to go, I just don’t want you to waste all those points on this.

01/18 @ 6:26pm

What if we go for 6 nights instead of 9? Maybe no plunge pool? Or we could pay cash instead? And then I could get 6x the points from paying that way? So, really….the points just keep accumulating, we’ve got to use them sometime! The points can pay for the flights and the hotel and then we can split the room charges and incidentals 50:50?

Will you think about it? You don’t have to give me an answer right away and we can always pick another hotel? But if we want to go someplace in late March/early April, I think we should book soon with spring break and all? Not that I imagine many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, but you never know…

01/18 @ 6:33pm

You gotta send me a ppt on all this points stuff, you know math stresses me out. And no, I don’t think many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, kid.

01/18 @ 6:37pm

Can I send you a dossier with everything!?! Even if you say no to that I’m doing it anyway ;) just promise me you’ll think about it, please? I’ll do whatever you want, Bradley <3

01/18 @ 6:40pm

Yes, please send the dossier my way henceforth, Moneypenny.

And you’ll do whatever I want, huh? Might have to send you a dossier of my own now…

(But yes, I promise I’ll seriously consider everything. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all this money to make me happy. I’d say we’d both be happy camping out on the beach, but I think that might be a security issue down there, plus neither of us like camping - anyway, you know what I mean.)

01/18 @ 6:43pm

Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!! Is this a dossier for my eyes only? What will M say!? I’ll send you mine if you send me yours?

(But seriously, thank you! I’ll send you more specifics tomorrow - like pricing and whatnot - and you can take a couple days to think it over. And thank you for clarifying the camping thing, I was worried for a second there.)

I love you so much rocketman and we’ll talk (email) tomorrow

x Moneypenny

01/18 @ 6:46pm

I’d say ‘sleep tight,’ but that’s a given considering you haven’t been fucked in a couple weeks.

(Perfect, I genuinely am really excited about it, just want to make sure it works out for us both.)

Love you so much, kid

Your Bradley

01/18 @ 6:58pm

Bradley Bradshaw!! You did not just say that over a government email server!

Imissyourcocksobadlyit’sdrivingmeinsane

01/18 @ 7:01pm

Couldn’t help it. Plus, we both know it’s true.

01/18 @ 7:04pm

Oh, shut up. Shut me up

01/18 @ 11:43pm

I’m sorry if I came off too strong about planning earlier, I might’ve gotten a little carried away and been a little too eager about planning something five days after you’re home from a three month detachment. If at any time before you come home or even right after you come home you don’t feel up to the trip, please please please tell me. I want to do something nice for you and give you a chance to truly relax, but I’d hate for it to come at a price. So, just let me know, okay? Say the word and we’ll push it, alright? I don’t exactly know what you’re going through, but tell me if it’s ever too much. I’ll always be here, promise. Love you x

[dossier_for_your_eyes_only.ppt]

01/19 @ 8:29am

Kid, no. I promise I’ll tell you. You know I love how excited you get planning things. I think I like it so much because you take care of it all. Sure, you ask for my opinion and what I want, but I just have to tell you one thing, one idea and you take care of it.

Funny though, isn’t it? How it’s totally opposite in the other side of our relationship? You tell me one thing, one idea and I take care of all of it? Bet it’s hard for you not having someone around to do that for you? Maybe next time we Facetime we can talk more about that? x B

01/19 @ 10:11am

Luckily, I have a very creative imagination, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw.

See right now, I’m in my office, sitting at my desk, feeling so overwhelmed. It almost hurts how overwhelmed and frustrated I am. And you bust down the door, hair windswept like you’d flown to Del Mar, and you have that slutty flight suit on and I don’t even mind that you’re sweaty and gross. You smell absolutely divine and I rake my hands through your hair as you eat me out underneath my glass desk. I get a conference call, but you don’t stop the entire time. You like how squirmy and fussy I get, I can’t focus on the deliverable I’m working on for the client. You like that I can’t control myself, that I squeeze my thighs around your head. Eventually, you can’t take it anymore, your cock is aching so badly, and you need to fuck me on top of my desk. You’re so strong it almost breaks. You fuck me so good everyone in the office can hear me crying out for you.

(actually, I’m on the couch, watching college football, but it’s more fun to imagine you fucking me in my office - see, creative imagination! Make sure you get a quiet room for that Facetime...)

Love x

01/19 @ 7:29pm

You think you’re funny, huh? You have any more of those thoughts, feel free to send them my way. ‘m taking out that picture you gave me for Christmas right now. How you taking care of yourself? My imagination isn’t as creative as yours. B

01/19 @ 7:40pm

Guess you’ll have to wait for our next Facetime…

01/20 @ 4:24pm

Your dad and Mary write me emails, you know. They aren’t as good correspondents as you are (for how could they possibly be, my dear?), but they check in about once a week or so. Mary sends me some of the articles she gives her students and talks about the show she’s watching with your dad. Your dad mainly talks about you. It makes me wish my parents were still around to do this stuff with me. Just checking in and writing emails and bragging about me to my girlfriend? How was yesterday’s class?

Your Bradley

01/20 @ 5:39m

I didn’t know they wrote you that often and I’m beyond embarrassed that my dad talks about me that much? But come on, Bradley…you have someone who does that, too? He’s about 5’8” (on a good day), looks great in a leather jacket, and just spent about two hours last weekend cleaning your gutters and telling me about how you won your high school’s debate scholarship?? Like how could you not tell me that? It’s literally one of the hottest things I’ve heard about you!

Class was good! They taught us a trick to cut onions without crying and one of the other girls complimented my apron! We’re doing meats next week, cutting, marinating, cooking, etc. and I’m excited!

01/20 @ 5:42pm

Oh gee, I bet it’s just awful for you to have Mav around all the time. Knight in shining armor…

01/20 @ 5:48pm

He’s not a bother! And it’s not all the time! We’re actually going to get lunch together on Saturday! It’s this new place on the water.

01/20 @ 5:50pm

Sounds like a cute little date! You’ll have to tell me how he is. Love you so much B

01/20 @ 5:55pm

I’ll keep ya posted, bubs! Love you!

01/22 @ 10:01am

Breaking news, kid. Your esteemed, naval aviator boyfriend is going to be on 60 Minutes at the end of February. Totally came out of left field, but I couldn’t say anything until they finished filming. It’s about the Navy in the Pacific and “the lost art of shipbuilding.” They even rigged up a camera on my plane and everything, it was so cool. I’ve been dying to tell you, but again couldn’t say anything until it was official. I probably won’t be on it long since they interviewed the Admiral and Pac Fleet Commander for most of it, but yeah, Payback and Bob and I will be on with my girl Norah. I made sure I had enough sunscreen on so I was camera ready at all times. Love you B

01/22 @ 10:09am

YOU’RE FUCKING SHITTING ME????? Oh my god, Bradley! That’s amazing! Margie even ran into my office to see what made me shriek! I am TOTALLY having a viewing party! Oh my god, how do you think it went? Did they get your good side? What about hair and makeup? I know you get helmet hair, bubs.

Seriously, so so excited and proud of you, Bradley! I’m going to make my dad and Mary come down for it! She doesn’t teach on Mondays, so this is perfect for them to stay over Sunday night! But now don’t go letting all that fame get to your head, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw 😉 Love you so much x

01/24 @ 12:17pm

Rocketman -

I was sitting at my desk earlier and listening to some music before my 12:30 meeting and Elton John’s Rocket Man popped up on my shuffle. Obviously, as you are my rocketman, I always think of you whenever I hear it, but today the lyrics really scratched that special part of my brain, so I did a deep dive into the song’s origins.

Please note, I’m including this time in my billable hours to the client (re. you). My findings are as follows:

Bernie Taupin was inspired by a Ray Bradbury story written in 1951 titled ‘The Rocket Man’ - not drugs as the urban legend states! Drugs! Imagine!

Bradbury’s ‘The Rocket Man’ was first published in Maclean’s, a weekly Canadian magazine, before it was published in the short story collection ‘The Illustrated Man’ that same year

‘The Illustrated Man’ later was made into a film, though ‘The Rocket Man’ story was notably absent

Some of more popular and renowned stories from the collection include ‘The Veldt’ and ‘The Long Rain,’ the latter of which is commonly read in high school honors English

Was client in honors English? Please confirm in follow up correspondence

Client has mentioned extensive library resources at disposal - perhaps he can check this collection out on his next visit? But for now, an executive summary has been provided:

With space travel more commonplace in society, Doug’s father, an astronaut, is sent on frequent, three- month journeys into space

Despite missing his dad, Doug also longs to be a Rocket Man, though his mother frequently prevails on Doug to beg his father to stay on Earth and be with the family

“What’s it like, out in space?” Mother shot me a frightened glance. It was too late. Dad stood there for a full half minute trying to find an answer, then he shrugged.“It’s the best thing in a lifetime of best things.” Then he caught himself. “Oh, it’s really nothing at all. Routine. You wouldn’t like it.” He looked at me, apprehensively. “But you always go back.” “Habit.”

The father finds that his work is ruining his life, but the draw of the stars is too great: "You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, if I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I got out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”

Even while on vacation with the family, having Thanksgiving dinner, or sitting on the back porch, the father’s eyes are always on the sky…

Doug’s father begs him to not be like him, to not be a rocket man, but what happens when his father goes on one last journey to the stars?

Through much reflection, I have decided that ‘The Rocket Man’ was written about you - and your mom and your dad and me and on and on until there is no longer a need for Rocket Men - or the rocket man simply stops and breaks the cycle

You are both the Rocket Man and the little boy, forever waiting for his father to come home from space

The allure of flying, of being a ‘rocket man,’ is both too great and too sad for you to ignore

None of this is to say the rocket man is selfish, no. He simply cannot resist the temptation. He knows nothing other than the thrill and peace of being amongst the stars

And his mother shielding Doug from the sun at the end is like your mom asking Mav to pull your papers, she does it to save him, but it cannot keep him from becoming his father

Needless to say - I had to postpone my 12:30 meeting until tomorrow as my eyes were far too puffy and any word I tried to say felt like cotton in my mouth.

I miss you and I love you - your ‘Lilly’

01/24 @ 8:22pm

Fuck - I love you so much. My clever girl.

01/24 @ 8:28pm

I pour my heart out to you and that’s all you have to say, rocketman? ‘Fuck - I love you so much’

(of course, I also love you so much, my clever boy.)

01/24 @ 8:30pm

Darling - it’s going to take me a little longer to come up with any commentary you deem appropriate, so for the sake of time, yes. I gotta read this story in full. I’ll be at the library at my earliest convenience. ‘The client’ will send an annotated copy with his notes henceforth.

01/24 @ 8:32pm

Of course, sweet boy. Goodnight, I love you so much. x

01/25 @ 11:44am

As promised, my darling girl. Love you.

[b.bradshaw_the rocket man_final paper.pdf]

01/25 @ 7:14pm

Oh Bradley! I love you so much, rocketman. Yes, I couldn’t have said it better. Yours x

01/26 @ 10:39am

Bradley! They’re sending me to London in February for two weeks! I even get a swanky corporate apartment for the stay. I wish you could come with me - even if it was just for a long weekend? We could go to all my favorite restaurants and afternoon tea and for walks in all the parks. One day it’ll work out!

But tragedy of all tragedies! I just realized I’m going to miss a couple cooking lessons when I’m in London! I already emailed the instructor before today’s class and she said there’s other classes throughout the week that are behind us, so I can make it up with them! Ahhh I’m so excited! Talk soon, love you!

01/26 @ 11:13pm

I didn’t realize how nervous I was about the trip until I went to bed tonight. It’ll be my first trip abroad since I got my promotion in November. Plus, it’s a completely different client than my last trip abroad and I’ve only met one person on this new London team before. Sometimes I go into these meetings and still feel like a little kid? I’m always the youngest person in the room and normally the only woman and on one hand, that’s cool? But sometimes I feel like someone’s daughter instead of their colleague? Like these guys are my dad’s age? And they’re actually supposed to listen to what I have to say about their company? Do you ever feel like that? Like you don’t really belong, despite knowing you’ve earned your place? I wish you were beside me right now. My bed feels way too big tonight. Love you.

01/27 @ 7:48am

Sweetheart! I am so unbelievably proud of you! That’s amazing! You gotta celebrate, go out to dinner with Caro and Darcy, maybe even Nat! I know you’ve been working so hard these last couple of weeks, you absolutely deserve this. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through, but yes. I have absolutely felt like I haven’t belonged or deserved something despite having ‘checked off all the boxes.’ I felt that way when I got promoted to LC and when I got that award in October. Everytime I see it on my uniform, I feel a bit like a faker? Like do I really deserve this? But then I remember the way you smiled at me when I got back to my seat that night and how proud of me you were and I think maybe I do deserve it? Plus, I also think of how goddamn gorgeous you looked all fucked out later that night.

And please note, I would happily slip into bed alongside you, especially since my bed feels way too small tonight. Love you, Bradley

01/27 @ 10:56am

Thank you for earlier. I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like I’m just too soft for all of this? Like I’m always trying to prove something to everyone and I get a little lost. Tell me something good? x

01/27 @ 7:01pm

How about this? Every time I go up in the sky and see the way the sun hits the clouds, I think of you. I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. I love you so much, kid

Your Bradley

01/27 @ 7:06pm

Sometimes I can’t believe we love each other this much, it feels like a dream x

01/27 @ 7:11pm

I can. Your Bradley

01/30 @ 7:08am

i slept in one of your shirts last night. it doesn’t smell like you anymore, but it feels like you: soft and safe and warm x

01/30 @ 7:23am

Well I spray my pillowcase with your perfume whenever I miss you so I guess we’re even

Your Bradley

ps - can you send me another bottle?

01/30 @ 7:34am

You’re already out? What sort of illicit behavior are you engaging in with that perfume bottle?

01/30 @ 10:33pm

I burrow my face in my pillow so I can smell it while I fist my cock, why? What’d you have in mind?

01/30 @ 10:37pm

How does that work though? Like genuinely? Do you jack off with Reuben in the top bunk? Or wait till he’s in the gym? I’ve been curious about this for a while now. What about the showers? Is it like an open floor plan thing? Or are there stalls? Is there a Zillow listing for this aircraft carrier?

01/30 @ 10:41pm

Now why would I ruin the mystery?

01/30 @ 10:43pm

Bradley!!!!

01/30 @ 10:44pm

Atta girl, that’s the spirit! Love you

02/02 @ 6:30pm

I am so sick of going to the gym. It seems like it’s all Payback and I do lately. We got this new workout regime that’s been killing me - don’t say it’s because I’m old. Though, I have been using my Theragun. Payback does my back if I do his in return. It was only awkward the first time he turned it on too hard and yelped (please tell everyone that).

02/02 @ 6:46pm

Oh, so you and Rueben Theragun each other, huh? Say more Lieutenant Commander!

02/04 @ 2:45pm

Going to Pete and Penny’s in a bit to watch the Super Bowl! Max is at the game, apparently his golf buddy Jimmy G hooked him up, though he neglected to bring me or Caroline. I feel like you would’ve been his first choice, so take that as a compliment I suppose. Do you guys do anything onboard for it? I have $350 on the 49ers winning by 3. Have a lovely day my darling boy x

02/04 @ 9:30pm

Guess who’s as snug as a bug on a rug in her bed AND $1400 dollars richer? That would be me! When you get home we’re going to Juniper and Ivy, my treat, bubs! x

02/06 @ 4:57am

Awww sweetheart are you gonna sugar mama me again?

02/06 @ 7:03am

You do know the only reason you’re getting away with that is because there’s an ocean between us, right?

02/06 @ 6:00pm

Sorry, couldn’t resist! Love you! B

02/06 @ 6:10pm

You’re lucky I love you so much. x

02/08 @ 9:58pm

Can you imagine if I was gone for 20 years?

02/08 @ 10:11pm

Bradley that’s not funny

02/08 @ 10:13pm

It’s not supposed to be. I’m reading the Odyssey and it got me thinking.

02/08 @ 10:16pm

Bradley I love you something awful, but you are such an old man sometimes.

Are you going through some sort of midlife crisis reading the Odyssey while you’re at sea?? Is the Old Man and the Sea next?

(ps i love the thought of you reading in your bunk in your spare time and being so struck by something composed thousands of years ago that you have to email me)

02/08 @ 10:20pm

They wait 20 years to get back to each other - practically half their lives. They miss so many things and barely knew each other before he left, but they’re still so - I don’t even know? They’re just so intent on getting back to the other in Odysseus’s case? While Penelope makes sure there’s something for him to come back to? And I must’ve read this stanza ten times before I had to email you:

"...the gods cast me upon Ogygia, Calypso's island, home of the dangerous sea nymph with glossy braids, and the goddess took me in in all her kindness, welcomed me warmly, cherished me, even vowed to make me immortal, ageless, all my days - but she never won the heart inside me, never"

And I know it’s not a perfect comparison or parallel, but I read that last bit and I couldn’t help but think of you? And how you’re the one who won my heart and it’s always going to be that way. Whether I see you in twenty seconds or twenty years.

02/08 @ 10:23pm

You’d come home to me whether it took twenty seconds or twenty years. You’d come home to me and I’d know you anywhere. I love you so much.

02/08 @ 10:58pm

“Now help me, please, to get back home, and quickly! I miss my family. I have been gone so long it hurts.”

Your Bradley

02/09 @ 7:03pm

At the airport for London! Taking off! And I may or may not have used points to upgrade to a Club World seat…but like? It’s a nonstop flight, so it’s okay, right? Work’s already paying for business class? It’s points from my work card? It’ll be fine, right?

I had to take an ativan in the lounge. I just hate that I still get so nervous whenever I fly long distance? I fly all the time, I shouldn’t be like this? You know, one time, I pretended you were flying my plane. I know it’s kind of dumb and silly and a completely different type of plane, but it made me feel better because you’d never let anything happen to me.

Anyway, we’re book buddies!! I went to the bookstore a couple days ago and got a copy! I read the Odyssey back in high school, but forgot so much. I was reading in the lounge and this part made me think of you:

“...this lovely house, my marriage home, so full of wealth and life, which I suppose I will remember even in my dreams.”

I’ll text you when I land my darling boy, love you x

02/10 @ 6:02am

You gotta squeeze every last bit of your per diem out of pwc. You’ve been working way too hard lately. Fuck it, on the way home just put the upgrade on your work card or put it on mine. Have a safe (rest of your) flight - maybe one day you’ll let me take you up. Love Bradley

02/10 @ 10:08am

Just landed and on my way to the office (already…)

I thought of you as I read and stared out the window on the plane. I could pretend I’m flying towards you, rather than further away. I can’t imagine how you feel doing this everyday, but I imagine it’s like feeling limitless, like everything is in front of you, there for the taking. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you take me up one day.

I’ll keep you posted on how everything’s going if you do the same. All my love x

02/12 @ 5:49am

How’s it going, kid? They working you too hard? You’re in London! Try to enjoy it, you deserve it. One of the guys I’m with gave me a restaurant rec for you, said the drinks were amazing, his wife loved it. Do something fun while you’re there! And send me some pictures dammit!

Love you,

Bradley

02/12 @ 8:22am

Bradley! It’s been so so crazy here! I feel like I haven’t stopped since I landed. My ‘flat’ is so cute and right by the client’s offices, so it’s an easy commute. I feel so professional taking the Tube places too! It’s one thing I’d like us to have in San Diego as opposed to all the traffic. Also, it’s CHILLY here and I’m so glad I dug my big coat out of storage. I’ll try and check the restaurant out this weekend, I’m gonna sneak in a trip to the Tate, too. I’ve always wanted to see the Turners. Talk soon and love you bunches! x

02/14 @ 9:54am

Bradley Bradshaw! You absolute SAP! HOW!?! Did you conspire with my dad again? Thank you for the flowers! I’m going to have the biggest smile on my face all day. I love you and hope this is the first of a lifetime of Valentine’s Days together. Always x

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, kid. I’m not gonna lie, I gave your dad very specific instructions for the bouquet (I was going to ask Max, but he’d probably swap it for something ugly and cheap and keep the change…kidding (not)), so I’m glad they turned out well. It was a very big day on board today: we got special red heart cookies for the holiday. The mood was infectious, I can still taste the sprinkles. Maybe you could cook for me on our next Facetime? Have you learned anything good in class lately? It doesn’t have to be fancy, just wanna see you (and maybe also live vicariously through whatever you’re making).

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Bradley! I think I can swing that for you, when do you think our next call will be?

02/16 @ 3:18pm

Kid, you spoil me. This package is amazing, I don’t know where to start (just kidding it’s with the Cadbury chocolate and the Sudocrem as my burnt shoulders thank you), but everything is wonderful, thank you. I love hearing about London and seeing the pictures you sent last time. But I do have one complaint…you’re not in any of the pictures, kid, and that’s truly egregious. (Think we won’t be able to Facetime for a while, I gave Payback my slot the other day.)

02/16 @ 3:23pm

That’s not true! I’m in the one in front of the Tate!

02/16 @ 3:25pm

Yeah, but I can’t see you under all those layers! Just want to see your face. It’s been way too long since our last Facetime.

02/16 @ 9:52pm

As requested, Lieutenant Commander. I had one of the girls in the London office take this at dinner tonight. She really did wonders with the lighting and even managed to get my sidecar in the pic! x Love you

02/17 @ 6:55am

You look pretty. New dress? B

02/17 @ 7:17am

Maybe…it was on sale, couldn’t resist. But you’re gonna hate me because all of my clothes are very much not going to fit in your closet. Also, I bought you a new jacket and some socks. x

02/17 @ 7:20am

Ehhh I’m not too worried about the closet thing. But if you keep buying me clothes we might have a problem.

02/17 @ 7:24am

It’s so cute though!! You’re going to look so handsome in it! I got the green one for you!

02/17 @ 7:29am

Okay, admittedly a very nice jacket, thank you. But you are aware that we live in San Diego…

02/17 @ 7:31am

I am aware of that fact, LC Bradshaw. You can wear it when we visit my parents. Hell, I had to get my coat out of my storage closet for this trip.

02/17 @ 6:53pm

Sighhhhh you raise a good point. Alright, alright, thank you for the jacket and socks my darling girl. What’d you have for dinner last night? We had chicken with these absolutely awful biscuits, tasted like saw dust, my stomach was growling for some more of that Cadbury chocolate (yes, Payback and I ate all of it already, though it was mainly Payback) for hours afterward.

02/17 @ 6:59pm

Oh my sweet boy! Who do I need to call about your meal plan? Give me the number and I’ll call the Navy up right now. And I had scallops with truffle risotto. It was delicious. Wanted to lick the bowl clean. Love you bubs x

02/19 @ 10:22pm

Bubs, I cannot eat another meal out. I feel like I’m going to burst. I’ve gone to so many work dinners and lunches even before coming here, it almost makes me feel like a glutton.

I miss you and your cooking (though I’ll have you know that my skills were vastly improving before my trip abroad!) and you standing behind me at the counter while I try to perfectly cut peppers. Sometimes I do it wrong on purpose so you’ll put your arms around me and I can feel the rumble of your voice. Would we call that weaponized incompetence? You better be ready for some Michelin Star meals when you get home, buddy. I just can’t wait to be home with you and roll over next to you in the morning and to tell you to stop snoring and that the battery in the smoke detector needs to be changed. I can’t wait to be home with you and make a life with you. I’m going to be really sappy now, but let me have this because I was reading this poem the other day and thought of you.

“I am supposed to be touched. I can’t wait to find the person who will come into the kitchen just to smell my neck and get behind me and hug me and breathe me in and make me turn around and make me kiss his face and put my hands in his hair even with my soapy dishwater drips. I am a lovely woman. Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” (x)

Only a month until you’re home with me, I hope you’re hungry.

All my love x

02/20 @ 4:50am

It’s only weaponized incompetence if the other person minds. I, however, do not mind. I loved that quote you sent me, going to be thinking about that one for a long time. I hate to tell you this, but I’m gonna be offline for a couple days. I hate that it’s at the end of your trip, but please please message me when you’re leaving/taking off and again when you land, you know I worry. Love you and am so unbelievably proud of you, kid! You killed it in London. Your Bradley

02/20 @ 7:03am

That’s okay, I totally understand. I’ll give you all the details on our next Facetime. In the meantime, I message you when I leave. Stay safe and love you, Bradley! x

02/23 @ 3:45pm

Taking off soon! I got an upgrade again, thankfully! And I made sure to put your new coat in my carry on - I don’t trust British Airways not to lose it! Taking an ativan again so hopefully I’ll sleep the entire flight - love you and talk soon!

02/24 @ 10:33pm

Just landed, slept through….90% of the flight! Apparently, there was bad turbulence, so probably for the best. Now, I know you would never have me deal with that my darling rocketman! Talk later - love you! x

02/25 @ 7:09pm

Feels kind of weird being back? I can’t quite get back into my routine. I’m not sure if it’s jet lag or something else? Feeling a little lost? x

02/26 @ 7:55pm

Bradley!!! You were so good, I’m so so proud of you! Max had everyone over at his place for us to watch you! We have quite the party here including my parents, Pete, Penny and Amelia, Natasha, Mickey and Cielo, Caroline, and Darcy. I’ll have to tell you about the parents meeting later. I wish you had been here for it, they took to each other like bees to honey.

You looked tragically handsome, I practically had to hold back a moan when you were standing on the flight deck talking to Norah O’Donnell (is she as nice in person as she is on TV?). God, I want to ravish you, you sounded so fucking smart. You know like half the country is going to be in love with you now, right? I’ve got to get back to everyone, Max ordered dinner for us afterwards, but I had to email you as soon as you finished!

Just wanted to let you know how proud of you I am and how much I love you x

02/27 @ 5:09am

Thanks, kid. Sorry it took me a bit to respond, things have been getting a bit crazy, you know, now that I’m a celebrity and all? We’re winding down this training, so the next couple weeks are gonna be full of debriefs and paperwork, which means I should have a more stable schedule. Love you B

02/28 @ 11:48pm

Sometimes I wonder if you were here what would you do? Hold me? Love me? I never feel small except when I��m in your arms. x

02/29 @ 11:48pm

Some nights in bed, if I try really hard, I can imagine I’m laying down next to you. And it makes everything just a little easier. Bradley

03/01 @ 12:56am

I haven’t taken anything besides my fingers in months. You’re going to stretch me out so well when you get home.

03/01 @ 7:19pm

And I’m gonna mark your ass pink for that comment. I can’t believe you sent that in the middle of the day. You getting yourself off at work? Dirty girl.

03/01 @ 9:41pm

Never feels as good as when you do it.

03/01 @ 10:01pm

And my hands pale in comparison to your pretty little cunt. You know that first time we slept together you were so fucking tight, I knew you hadn’t had a good fuck in ages. It gonna be like that again when I come home?

03/01 @ 10:05pm

Where are you going to have me first?

03/01 @ 10:06pm

In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen.

03/01 @ 10:09pm

Just over two weeks now, I can’t wait to see you. x

03/03 @ 5:55am

How you holding up, kid? You doing a little better this week work wise? Try and log off around 5 if you can. Don’t want you getting all worn down on me.

They had us doing these war games yesterday that made me think of you. You would’ve walked circles around some of these other guys I swear. Think I can get a Facetime for us in a couple days? Probably will be our last one before I come home. Love you, B

03/03 @ 7:12am

Bradley! That's the best news I’ve had in ages! I can’t wait to see you! Definitely felt a little lost after coming back from London, but I hope my rut will be over soon? Tying things up with a client is always so lengthy and tedious.

War games! ‘Would you like to play a game?’ I’d ask if you won, but no one ever wins in the art of war 😉Love you!

03/05 @ 8:54pm

So, here’s a new one. My mom called? She’s going to be stateside and wants to get lunch tomorrow. Could’ve done with a bit more warning, but apparently, she has a layover in San Diego on her way to New York to see my brother? I didn’t even know she was going to see him? I don’t even know if I want to see her? It’s funny, I can already tell you exactly how it’ll play out:

We’ll go to lunch at some sort of vegan restaurant, probably Donna Jean

She’ll make me pay

She’ll try to get me to use some sort of herb to promote weight loss since I’m looking a bit “pudgy” around the face

Though she’ll forget to ask about you, she’ll tell me about her latest string of failed relationships with bartenders and surf instructors in Canggu. Or is it Ubud? I genuinely don’t remember, she started in Ubud, but honestly my knowledge of Balinese geography is rudimentary at best

She’ll ask how ‘that woman’ is doing as if Mary is just the woman my dad is seeing, not the woman who raised me and my brother

And finally, she’ll ask for money though betting is still open as to what for!

So, what do you say? Wanna put a wager on it? Your terms.

Love you! x

03/06 @ 6:30am

$100 she orders the caesar and makes you pay. I’m not even going to entertain the third parlay, pretty girl. Oddly feeling like she’s got a winner on her hands so yes she’ll talk about her new paramour. Does she really call Mary ‘that woman?’ And yes, without a question, she will ask you for money.

Your move my gorgeous girl,

Bradley

03/06 @ 7:49pm

I really wish you were here right now. She doesn’t even know me, but she somehow always manages to make me feel small.

Caesar - no croutons

I paid

Pudgy and frumpy, but she was hawking shakes not herbs

Failed relationship? No, she’s actually GETTING MARRIED

She did not ask about you much other than to say I need to watch my figure for you (see bullet point no. 3)

Mary was called ‘that woman’ six times before I stopped counting

She asked for money as a wedding present

So, you didn’t get them all, but not a bad showing. Love you. Talk tomorrow on Facetime. x

03/07 @ 6:09am

God kid, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Actually, I don’t even think she deserves to know what she’s missing. Did you talk to your dad or Mary about it? I know we’re talking later, but I just wanted you to have a message from me before you start your day. What’re you wearing to the office tomorrow? Have you worn that wrap dress lately? You know it’s one of my favorites and that I always love unwrapping it when you get home from the office.

Can’t wait to see you tonight. All my love, Bradley

03/07 @ 9:55am

The dress doesn’t fit. My mom was right, I shouldn’t have gotten the french toast.

I’m planning on talking to dad and Mary later today before you and I have our Facetime. I know they’ll make me feel better, much like you have my darling boy, but it still feels pretty crummy. Especially since I’m sure she’s going to have wonderful time in New York with my brother 🙄 and I’ll have to hear all about it next time I talk to him.

And I’m not sure if I’ve unpacked that dress yet! I’ll have to do some digging. Talk soon! x

03/10 @ 3:26am

We had a little baby. He was always giggling and laughing and we were making silly faces and he looked so small in your arms, Bradley. So small and little and he was ours. And then I turned around and he was toddling around the house and we were chasing him and his little legs were moving so quickly and we all wound up on the couch in a tangle of limbs, giggling under the blankets as we tickled him and he called you daddy.

It wasn’t our house - or what will be our house, I guess? Instead of the leather couch you have, it was white and big and wide and the three of us could easily fit on it, snuggled together.

And I could feel your arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could feel you humming in my ear and kissing my neck and telling me you loved me. I could feel it. I could feel you. I could feel him and you. And it was nice and I felt warm and safe and cherished and loved. Because I felt so much love for this little boy in my arms - the perfect mix of me and you. Everything felt right and perfect.

Except when I rolled over in bed to tell you about it, I realized I was alone in my bed, in my apartment, and not in the house that we shared or with the little boy that looked so much like you and I haven’t felt so empty and sad since I can’t remember when.

And I just miss you so much, Bradley. I know I can come across as glib and unfeeling sometimes and like this doesn’t affect me as much. But it does and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst because I’ve never felt like this for anyone else before? It’s never been so easy for me to love someone and let them love me to the point that I always want to be beside them. And I know with your job - and mine - that can’t always happen, but god Bradley I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you.

I love you rocketman x

03/11 @ 12:49pm

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I realize that’s a lot to drop on you, especially since we can’t talk in person. I guess I’ve just never missed a person more in my life and seeing that future showed me what we could have when you come home. God, Bradley I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here - in twenty seconds, not twenty years.

How did your hop go today? x

03/11 @ 7:03pm

I have dreams like that, too. I’ll be little, but still older than I was when my dad died and we’ll be at the beach, running around, and he’ll pick me up and spin me around like I’m flying on an airplane.

But then it’ll be me and my kid, running around and I’ll pick them up and spin them around like they’re flying on an airplane. Sometimes it’s a girl, sometimes a little boy. But I always just can feel and tell that I love them and I’d do anything for them.

And I used to hate waking up alone after I had them and I’d feel empty and sad and like I had the feeling that they should still be there? Except now I have you and I know it doesn’t just have to be a dream?

Sorry it took me so long to reply. Today was hectic and I didn’t get to check my email until later. But if I checked it earlier, my day would’ve been a lot easier on my heart.

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/12 @ 7:11pm

How do you always know exactly what to say? I’m sorry for springing that all on you, know it wasn’t exactly a quick/easy message, but I love that you knew exactly what I meant. My day’s always a lot easier on my heart when I hear from you, too. Love you x

03/13 @ 10:17pm

i miss having you around to take care of me. and telling me what to do and what to wear for you and how you want me and where you want me and when you want me and and and. and how good i feel around you as you come, how you take what’s yours. how i need you to take control and tell me what i need because i’m too much of a dumb slut to figure it out on my own. i need you so much bradley. and it’s so hard because i’m trying to take care of myself like you do and imagine what you’d do if you were with me right now. but i’m so frustrated since no one takes care of me like you do. i feel so empty. nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.

i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley

3/13 @ 10:39pm

Awwww sweetheart, did you get yourself all worked up over me? It’s okay, I know it’s hard for you all by yourself. Must’ve been real bad for you to risk this getting flagged, huh? Poor thing, don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.

Want you to pretend I’m next to you, leaning over you as you lay down and touch yourself. Say yes Bradley, more Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley. Good girl.

Want you naked under the covers, no frilly little pajama set or anything. No, I want your cum to stain the sheets and then for you to have to clean up in the morning, all embarrassed because you did this. You made yourself like this because you can’t control yourself without me around. All that cum being wasted. Nobody around to lick it off your pussy. So what doesn’t get on the sheets, you have to taste. Good girl.

Want you to use your fingers - only your fingers, I’ll know if you use anything else. Start with your breasts. Think of how perfectly they fit in my hands and how yours aren’t quite the same. They aren’t as big. Aren’t as strong. Play with your nipples, drag your nails across the soft skin on the underside of your breasts.

Want you to sigh my name as you slide your hands down your stomach towards your pretty little pussy. Have you shaved? Gotten a wax? You know how I like it, want it just like that when I get home. Pretend it’s my fingers sliding into your cunt. A few touches and you’re already clenching on air and I’m not even around.

In and out, in and out. Circle your clit with your thumb. Add another finger, then another. You rocking your hips yet? I know you’re soaked. I know you want more. Three fingers can’t stretch you out nearly as much as you need. But I don’t know if you can handle anything else without me around. And I know you would never disagree with me, right? Because you’re my good girl and good girls do what they’re told.

Don’t hesitate to get loud. You’re in our house, in our bed, you can be as loud as you want. Bet you’re getting close, huh? Try and last a little longer, can you hear yourself and how wet you are? Are you shaking yet? I know you’re close. Go ahead, speed up your fingers, just the way I do. It’s okay, you can come. Know you’re gonna get sleepy soon, wish I could sleep inside you, nice and tight.

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl.

03/14 @ 5:49pm

Thank you, Bradley. Thank you for taking care of me last night

You like chicken piccata, right?

03/14 @ 7:33pm

Yeah, kid, I like chicken piccata.

03/14 @ 7:39pm

Okay, that’s good. I’m going to make it when you come home. I ran it by my cooking instructor. Ina’s recipe of course.

(I’ve read your email seven times since you sent it. I’ve thought about it constantly. I want you to take me softly and slowly that first time. But after that? I can’t wait to let go and float. Love you so much x)

03/15 @ 6:09am

You’re the boss. Good thing I’ll be home soon, you’re gonna run out of material. As is, I had to type that last one with one hand.

Love you,

03/15 @ 7:21am

I’ll be good till you get home, promise.

Have a good day, do you think we’ll get to talk much from now till Friday? Love you x

03/15 @ 7:24am

I’ll hold you to it.

I don’t think so, might be able to send one out before leaving the boat. Better make it a good one.

All my love

Your Bradley

03/15 @ 7:25am

You got it! Love you bubs

03/18 @ 11:08pm

Kid - there’s this lyric that keeps running through my head: ‘and I want you right here.’ I want you beside me - today, tomorrow, all my days. I want you right here, beside me forever. In twenty seconds, not twenty years. See you tomorrow.

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/18 @ 11:11pm

See you tomorrow, rocketman. I’ll be the one in blue.

Love you x

a/n: thanks for reading! i'll be back with part ii and part iii (hopefully not in...4 months). i had so much fun writing these and getting to explore a different format and side to their relationship! thanks to alexa @sometimesanalice, kylie @ofstoriesandstardust, cass @notroosterbradshaw, elle @dissonannce, nik @cherrycola27, and loren @heartsofminds for all the support!

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster imagine #bradley and smart aleck #top gun imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster x reader

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harlowsbby · 9 months ago

Text

Comfort 💘

Requested, the reader missing Jack while he’s away on tour.

“She just hasn’t been herself lately and I’m getting a bit worried we went shopping earlier and she didn’t grab anything!” Your friend Annie whispered yelled into the phone.

“Really?” Jack chuckled softly but frowned at the thought of you not doing too well.

“Yeah ever since you’ve been away I noticed she just hasn’t been doing so well.” Annie told Jack and peeked around the corner to make sure you weren’t listening.

Whenever Jack went out to town for tour or went away for a few days or weeks for work at times it did take its tole on you. It was hard being away from him for long periods of times and he felt guilty but at the same time it was his job.

“Yeah she hasn’t answered any of my texts from earlier.” He told Annie. “Well she’s sleeping on the couch right now.”

“Is there any type of way that you can maybe fly down for a few days?” Annie bit her lip as she asked Jack. She knew asking me that question was a hit or miss.

Although Jack would drop anything to be with you no matter the day or time You also knew that he needed to get things done.

“I’m not sure Annie today I have a meeting with the New Balance team and tomorrow I’m going to be running around all day getting things done before tour starts.” He started to ramble.

Annie sighed. “It’s okay Jack I completely understand.” She reassured him. “Just tell her to call me when she wakes up yeah?” He told her.

Annie smiled softly. “I will.” With Jack hung up the phone and sighed.

He knew he needed to do something he hated the fact that you weren’t doing so well without him being there.

“Neelam.” Jack called for his manger. “What’s up Jack?” She asked.

“I need to book a flight for Kentucky tonight.”

————————————————————————

“Come on you love doing face mask and doing karaoke you can’t just sit here and sulk all day you do know that right?” Your friend Jackie said.

“Yeah I agree with Jackie, you need to get up and do something Y/N you know Jack wouldn’t want you sulking all day.” Annie reassured you.

You wouldn’t say you were a clingy person but you were in love and you missed your man and missing someone was a normal thing to do.

You understand his job and that he wouldn’t be home as much as you’d like him to be but you just couldn’t help but to miss him. You missed seeing him in the physical and touching him and kissing him and all of that.

“I know but I just miss him I wanna be wrapped up in his arms and running my fingers through his hair.” You told him.

“Let’s talk about him then? Maybe talking about him will make you feel better.” Jackie encouraged you. “What’s your favorite thing about him?” She asked.

“My favorite thing about him is well I love the fact that he always makes sure that I have fresh flowers even when he’s gone he always sends me fresh flowers.” You smiled.

Jackie and Annie coo’d at the simple but yet sweet gesture. “What’s something you hate that he does?” Jackie asked which earned her a glare from Annie.

“I thought we were being positive Jackie?” You laughed. “It’s okay, but I hate the way he’s always leaving the damn toilet seat up he knows I hate it but does it anyway.”

While you were in the middle of talking Jack was sneaking in through the garage door. Luck for him your back was turned from the door that was connected to the garage so you weren’t able to see him.

He had texted Annie earlier and told her that he’d be landing in Kentucky later that night to see you and to actually take you with him to spend the rest of the tour with him.

Jackie’s eyes widened upon seeing Jack and tried her best not to squeal Jack placed a finger over his mouth as a gesture for her to be quiet as he snuck up behind you.

“What do you love about Jack?” Annie asked. “I love everything about him he’s so super sweet and has the biggest and kindest heart.” You grinned.

“You think I have a big heart? Just the other day you were saying I was heartless because I didn’t give you the last cookie.” Your eyes widened at that familiar voice.

You turned around quickly seeing Jack standing behind you in an all black sweatsuit set and in his arms were a roses and daises.

“Jack!!” You yelled and jumped into his arms making him tumble back a sit but nonetheless he was able to keep his balance.

“Hi baby.” He said and his grip on you tightened as you hid your face into the crook of his neck. You couldn’t believe he was here in some way it just felt so unreal.

“I missed you much.” You squeaked out and pulled back Jack coo’d seeing the few tears that had fallen. “Don’t cry babe.” He said and whipped away your tears.

“I missed you too though.” He put you back down and Annie and Jackie excused themselves so you’d both have some time together.

Jack sat on the couch and pulled you onto his lap. “What are you doing here?” You asked him. “Well I heard you’ve been missing me.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“And I actually came back to come get you.” Your eyebrows scrunched together. “Come and get me for what?” You asked.

“I want you to join me for the rest of the door it hasn’t been easy for me either being away from you. I need my girl with me at all times so what do you say you coming?” He asked.

You thought about it for a few seconds just wanting to tease him a bit. “Of course I’m coming.” You smiled.

“Good now go and pack so we can get back to the jet Neelam said I need to be back soon.” You quickly jumped off of his lap and made your way upstairs to pack everything.

“I guess you saved the day again.” Annie told Jack as she made her way into the living room with Jackie.

He popped his invisible collar and smirked. “You know it’s just what I do.” He said with a smirk. “You’re so ugly for that.” Jackie said.

Jack didn’t care though the only thing he was looking forward to was spending time with you.

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n

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mxqdii · 1 year ago

Note

Can you do an angst to fluff with Chris plz? Where Chris has been on tour, reader is a singer/actress that's booked and busy and it's putting strain on their relationship because they almost never see each other in person. <33

unexpected visitor - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: chris is on tour and y/n is on set all the time, making no time for chris and y/n to see eachother

warning(s): angst, crying, fluff, hospitals, mentions of injury.

not proofread

"when will you be back in boston?" i ask chris, holding the phone up to my ear

i hear no response on the other end

"hello? chris?" i say, still nothing.

the call hangs up and i sigh, suddenly getting a text from chris

"sorry, bad service"

i groan, putting my phone down.

i've been on set all week, this was the only week chris was in boston before leaving for tour.

i can't help but let a few tears fall in frustration

i miss my boyfriend, so much.

but with both of our schedules not mixing, we literally never see eachother anymore.

suddenly i get a call from my manager.

clearing my throat, i answer.

"hello y/n! i just wanted to inform you that filming will be canceled for the rest of the week" she says and my eyes widen

"really? why??" i ask

"most of the cast has been getting sick, its been going around this week" she says with a slight laugh

"okay thank you! have a nice night" i say, hanging up.

i go to bed that night, planning on flying to see chris tomorrow.

i wake up the next morning not being able to breathe

i sit up frantically trying to clear my throat but failing

i look to my nightstand seeing a glass of water, taking a big gulp before letting out a gasp for air.

fuck, i'm sick.

my chest feels heavy and i feel nauseas, hot, and cold at the same time.

i try to stand but fail, falling to the floor

i try to speak but fail, whats happening to me?? why am i all of a sudden so sick??

the doorbell rings and i roll my eyes

i try to stand up to get it, but fail,

everything going black.

i wake up to the sound of beeping, trying to open my eyes adjusting to the brightness around me

i look around seeing myself in an unfamiliar room, where the fuck am i??

a nurse walks in and i try to speak but fail

"here sweetie, drink this" she says, handing me a glass of water

i clear my throat and sigh

"why am i in a hospital? who brought me here?" i ask

"you passed out, you're really sick and dehydrated. your friend alahna found you" she explains

i nod, grabbing my phone seeing like a hundred missed calls from chris

i call him back, the line ringing a few times before hanging up.

chris? chris call me back so i can explain please answer hello? chris helloooo?

i text him over and over, no response.

i bury my face in my hands, sobbing

maybe this isn't working.. we can never even reach eachother, i don't even know where he is.

i hear the door to my room open, assuming it's just the nurse

"hey, why are you crying love?" i hear and look up immediately

"chris.." i mumble, wide eyed

he walks up to me, wiping my tears with his thumb

"how did you- i-" i try to speak but just end up crying more

"it's okay, i'm here now thats all that matters" he says with a smile

"how did you know?" i croak out and he laughs

"alahna called me and i hopped on the first flight out" he replies

"i really missed you chris" i sniff

"i missed you too love, next show is in a week so until them i'm all yours" he reassures

"you promise?"

"i promise"

TAGLIST:

@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookwor

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo headcannons #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fluff #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo #matt fanfic #nick sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #madispeaks!

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highonmarvel · 10 months ago

Text

Dilated [1] | Scattered

Steve Rogers bumps into a woman whose pupils are larger than normal.

} previous part: [Prologue]

content warnings here!

You startle at the contact and quickly slap his hands off, immediately groaning at the cramp suffocating your left upper arm as you pull it back. You can’t really see the tall man in front of you through your watery eyes, and you can’t wipe your eyes due to your sweaty palms.

You’re struggling to really comprehend what he’s saying; you know he asked if you’re okay, and then?

“Can I take you home?” his voice comes through hazily.

“Wh- What?” you ask, the question immediately flying out of your head as your eyes rapidly scan the streets, like looking for signs of danger, when you’re sure there aren’t any.

“Can I take you home,” he repeats, slowly and louder. You turn your head to wipe your face on your shoulder as he continues, “I’m Steve. Steve Rogers.”

That’s Captain America, no?

With your eyes less blurry now, you’re just able to make out the blue eyes and golden hair under the warm streetlights.

“Okay!” is all you can muster, and you’re not sure to what he took it: okay to take you home or okay that’s his name? Maybe you should give your name in response but you don’t, you can’t. When he asks for your address, you snap something at him that you think is where you live, though you can’t tell through your irritation; he’s really agitating you for some reason; he’s done nothing, but he’s got you annoyed, or maybe you’re just annoyed in general after Sharon cut you off. You wonder why, because it’s not like she doesn’t have a supply, and it’s not like she cares whether you live or die.

You stumble a few times and sway slightly as you stay just a little ahead of him in beat to get to your flat but refuse his offer of a strong, steady arm around your waist to keep your stable. You don’t want to touch him at all, feeling hot and hotter even just walking beside him, everything radiating heat, but especially his body.

You get to the entrance of your building and push your shoulder against the door to stumble into the hall. You don’t notice Steve come in behind you under he places a large hand on the small of your back and you jump in fright with a yelp, whipping around to face him.

“Sorry!” he apologises, “I’m sorry, but I really need to make sure you get in safe. Is that okay?”

You wish he would stop talking, and you guess he knows you’re not really processing what he’s saying, but you don’t really have the drive to snap at him, just letting him trail you as you walk up four flights of stairs to get to your door. He stays alert behind you, ready for you to fall backwards and into his arms, but you make it, surprising even yourself.

You fumble with your keys, ignoring his offer to help as you drop the key four times before you get it in the lock and then another three trying to turn it. You don’t kick off your shoes, don’t take off your jacket or even pull your sling bag off, you just crash face first into the couch and fall right asleep.

✯

Steve is surprised at your exhaustion. His first guess was heroin withdrawal but that’s more likely to cause insomnia, and then he worries you may have died in front of him, but your breathing slowly returning to regular and your snoring assure him you’re alive. Well, barely.

He has to stay overnight, how can he just leave you like this? Tomorrow will probably be worse, you can’t be alone by yourself right now. He’s not sure if he should pull a blanket over you, take your shoes off and rest your head more comfortably on a pillow. He decides to leave you, worried if he takes one thing off he may not be able to stop.

But he should probably get something to help you, right? And he needs a glass of water himself. Your kitchen opens right into the living room so it’s easy to find. He pours himself an ice cold glass, sipping it as he walks back to you and settles in an armchair across from the sofa you’re passed out on. Your place isn’t really decorated; he can see lighter squares against your walls, and wonders if you sold those pieces of if you’ve recently moved and a previous tenant took their frames.

Maybe you’re an artist; he’s heard artists are tortured, a lot of them do drugs, or maybe a musician; he should probably check your bedroom to be sure, just to learn about you so tomorrow he can get you the appropriate help.

There are only two doors, one leading to the bathroom. He’s immediately drawn to your medicine cabinet to check if you’ve got anything here, because if you do, he needs to get rid of it. He finds more bottles of sleeping pills than needed and a prescription for depression or anxiety meds, making a mental note to flush the sedatives down the toilet in a few hours; not now, he doesn’t want to wake you.

Adjacent to the bathroom is what he assumes if your bedroom door, which he is right about, and as messy as expected (he wondered how your living room, kitchen and bathroom appeared tidy enough—if you were in this state often, you’d definitely be unable to maintain even basic cleaning). Maybe you didn’t use those rooms. Not even the bathroom?

Clothes are scattered on the floor and pillows and blankets have been thrown off the bed, sheets too, leaving a bare mattress with a small bloodstain on it. A desk sits by the window, looking out to just another red brick apartment complex, with a broken laptop and scraps of paper cluttering the surface and the ground, a small bin overflowing with paper and broken pens.

He finds a manuscript laying on the floor—so you’re a writer—and finally he can put a name to your face. Should he clean your room, or is that really weird? In less than an hour he’s developing this caring instinct, and he tells himself it’s just his job, Captain America wanting to help everyone and all, he’s a superhero after and before all.

Steve gets another cold glass of water and settles in his seat across from you. For the first time tonight, you look at peace; your eye lids aren’t moving as rapidly, your breathing is steady and deep, your limbs aren’t trembling, muscles aren’t cramped, and your wild sweating has slowed, though he can still even see the layer sticking to your skin.

✯

When you peel your eyes open, you’re grateful for the overcast weather, though you’re still a little blinded by the light. You feel like pure shit: weak and sore with a pounding headache and overwhelming nausea. You turn your head to vomit off the couch, surprised to land it in a bucket waiting for you and not your stained carpet. Blinking is hardly helping as you try to get your lashes to unstick each time they flutter. Your heartbeat is slow, slow enough that were you feeling more aware, it would concern you, and you wonder if you’re dying.

You’re hardly regaining full consciousness when your gaze finally lands on a man sitting across from you. You scream as you sit up and jump further back into the couch, but you can’t hold yourself up for long before you tumble back to the cushions, your shoulder hitting the edge making you wince in pain and heavy head lolling over the armrest, straining your neck.

“Relax, relax, you’re gonna hurt yourself, you need to calm down. I’m Steve,” he introduces himself in a friendly manner but he doesn’t smile, instead scanning your face with furrowed brows like he’s looking for any injuries.

He looks like the man from last night, yeah, and it takes you a few moments to grasp that he’s Steve Rogers, Captain America himself. Your breathing rate increases as your mind races to find a reason as to why Captain America is in your apartment. You vaguely remember being turned away again by Sharon last night, and you remember someone mentioning she was dealing some more serious shit than what you needed, had he found out about that? Thought you were an accomplice? Or maybe you were in danger; maybe Sharon had found out you knew and was going to kill you, and he was here for protection. Did you do something really illegal last night to the point one of the world’s greatest superheroes had to watch over you?

“I know who you are what are you doing here?” you plead for an answer, desperation coating your tone as your heart beats wildly.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” he coos, taking a step towards you and keeping his hands visible, like approaching a stray dog, “I was really, really concerned about you last night, I couldn’t in good faith leave you, I had to make sure you got home safe.”

But… it’s the morning. Did he stay all night? You kind of hope he did instead of leaving and somehow breaking into your place when you were passed out, if anything.

You’re shaking, and you can’t tell if it’s from withdrawal or if you’re scared. But why would you be scared? You have the world’s greatest protector concerned with your health and safety. Something about him is unsettling, and at first you think it’s just your agitation finding reasons for anxiety when there are none. He was just being nice, being so much more helpful than you could have ever asked for, but you can’t help but wonder, wouldn’t he have better things to do? More serious threats to take care of? Why would an Avenger prowl the streets and take such an interest in a random woman rather than an inter-dimensional threat?

Something just isn’t sitting right, and you can’t tell if it’s your scattered imagination or a real possibility of danger.

⍟

[taglist; @cjand10, @pr300877, fill out this form if you’d like to be added]

#dilated #dark!steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers x you #dark steve rogers x you #dark!steve rogers x y/n #dark steve rogers x y/n #yandere!steve rogers #yandere steve rogers

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sourbinnie · 1 year ago

Note

Can I request a fic Where Hyunjin comes back home to you from the Versace event thingy and he’s just really emotional because he thinks he didn’t do well w his English and outfit n stuff but then you comfort him and promise him that he did great and that you’re proud of him and it’s all cute and fluffy🥹

title -> pieces genre -> hurt/comfort pair -> hyunjin x gn!reader a/n: hope this is what you wanted! thank you sm for the request<3

i knew his flight was delayed and that he wasn't getting here as early as we expected to. i got home from work and decided to make it as comfortable as it was just for him, just so he wouldn't have to worry about anything at all. i was so proud of my boyfriend for making it this big and having a chance to fly out and enjoy a fashion show. i knew his passion for clothes and creating them, it was really exciting that he got this opportunity. it was good publicity not only for the band, but for the fact that the person wearing these clothes was an incredible human being that deserved all the love & praise he was getting. they deserved to know that hwang hyunjin was a magnificent person, just as charming as when i first met him.

even if it was late and i had work in the morning, i decided to stay up and wait for him. i just didn't wanna welcome him home with my sleeping figure and the fact that we were probably not gonna see each other tomorrow morning, just made me want to stay up more.

the hours passed and it felt like an eternity but i remained strong as yawn after yawn escaped from me. that's when i heard the door to our apartment unlock and i turned off the tv. i got up and smiled as i saw him, he was wearing another outfit (clearly versace again) and he looked as breathtaking as one could be. it took me by surprise when i suddenly felt his arms wrap around me and give me the sweetest of hugs but i responded back fast as i hugged him. my hand going to his hair to rub him and the other one on his cheek to make him look at me.

i knew that expression way too well. he was feeling insecure, about what? i would have to ask. for now we stayed there hugging and looking at each other, mumbling "i love you" and not stopping. that's when i felt a tear drop fall from him and i decided to take him to the couch to sit us down and actually conversate about what was going.

"jinnie, talk to me when you're ready, okay?" i said and he nodded quickly as more tears were escaping his eyes. he grabbed my hands to trace patterns and distract himself but the sadness was clearly overwhelming. i've seen him distraught before, it was nothing new but it concerned me either way. what if he felt this way when he was at the event? in a foreign country? and i could not be there for him.

it made a feeling in my chest that stung but i held on as i wiped away his tears. i knew he could get emotional and he didn't mind showing his feelings at all but sometimes he wouldn't say what was happening and i was worried it would be one of those days until he finally spoke up.

"too much." he said as he choked back on his sobs and i looked at him again. "it was too much. i don't know how i got through it without making a scene."

"what do you mean baby?" i asked as i handed him a tissue to wipe the new tears that wouldn't stop. "you didn't feel comfortable in the event?".

"not at all." he said with a broken laugh as his eyes met mine again, reddish and with a deep kind of sadness buried in them. i was starting to realize what was going on, i knew my babe was an introvert, i knew how hard for him was to interact, to be out there, especially in those kinds of shows where you were so exposed. "i felt ridiculous, like i can't even speak english properly and even if they insisted for me to talk in korean, i wanted to prove myself and i failed."

hyunjin wasn't fluent in english, i knew that but he tried his damn hardest and this broke my heart. there was no one that put as much effort and love for the language than him and i wish he would see that but i would let him talk before i ramble too much.

"also the outfit, everyone had the fanciest stuff and i was just standing there. feeling so left out and stupid. god, why did they invite me if i was gonna be humiliated like this?" he exclaimed as i tried to put the pieces together. i didn't notice anyone being extra luxurious on the pictures that i've seen. just lots of people wearing the versace outfits they were offered, maybe he felt like it was too little but i think it was perfect. "i just feel like i'm never enough, i can never be myself and be enough for a place. it was so hard to interact with people (y/n), i don't know what i do wrong."

"nothing." i said clear as water and he looked at me confused. "you might feel like you're failing with your english, with the outfit or the scenery but you really aren't doing anything wrong jinnie".

"i just wished you were there with me." as much as i would love to agree with him, we couldn't be seen due to his contract. but yeah to be by his side and take care of him would be truly a blessing and if it helps him that's what matters.

"babe i know but for now you're probably gonna have to attend more of these. i think you looked beautiful, you always do and it's hard to not look at you when you walk in the room." i said as he blushed and i just smiled 'cause his shyness was just so adorable of him. "i truly mean that, the outfit wasn't extravagant but it fit you and you're not that. you create such a comfortable atmosphere and you have so much love to give that's hard not to fall for you".

"you're just saying that because you have to." he said as he looked down and intertwined his fingers with mine, comfortable touches from his hand to mine as i made him look at me again.

"i'm saying it because it's true." i said firmly and with an honest look in my eyes. "also your english might not be perfect but you can communicate well and people understand what you say baby. you have a really sweet way with words and everyone was mesmerized by it."

"do i?" he said and i could see in his eyes he was starting to believe me.

"you do! it's really beautiful how you talk." i said smiling as i thought about the many times he studied english and asked felix or chan for advice. "overall and for real, i am proud of you. proud of how far you've come and how much you're gonna show to the world. proud of the effort you put it in for a language that's not your own. proud of the representation you're giving. i am so happy that you get to do these things so people can see you and see the man i fell in love with."

he was again teary eyed but i was hoping it was happy ones instead of cruel & sad ones. i could feel another hug coming in as i held him. he whispered "thank you" so many times that his voice got hoarse from all the crying and the repeating. i just held him in my arms and kissed his forehead.

"you're the best significant other i could ask for." he said and i just smiled.

"that's you jinnie." i responded as i gave him a little peck. "let's go to bed yeah? it's been a long day for you."

#sourbinnie #skz drabbles #skz short imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #skz hyunjin #skz angst #skz imagines #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #hyunjin x reader #stray kids x you #skz hurt/comfort

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oizysian · 9 months ago

Text

VII. GIRLS NIGHT

All Eyes on Me masterlist

Word count: 2.4k

•

Once the wine and food arrived, I grabbed the bottle off of the tray and opened it hurriedly, taking a few gulps before I heard someone speaking to me.

"Hey, slow down there, champ. Save some for the rest of us."

Brie took the bottle from my hand and looked me in the eyes for a brief moment before turning away towards the food and pouring herself and Lizzie a glass of the wine.

The look she gave me was one of ... worry? Was she worried about me?

Lizzie watched the interaction wordlessly, then sat at the edge of the bed and waited for her glass to be filled.

"You're our designated babysitter." Brie said as she passed a glass to Lizzie. "You have to be the least drunk out of all of us."

"Why me?" I whined. "I should be the most drunk."

"You can't be hungover on a plane for six hours, Y/N." She took a delicate sip from her own glass as she watched me.

"I'll sneak you some wine, Y/N, don't worry." Lizzie whispered to me, giving me a wink before nearly gulping down her first glass.

Damn. Looked like she had something she wanted to forget too.

Brie shot Lizzie a look and she shrugged, swirling the remains of her drink.

"I don't need a babysitter. Maybe you do."

"Says you." Brie shot back playfully, grabbing the opened bottle and pouring more into Lizzie's glass.

Lizzie stuck her tongue out at the other woman and silently sipped at her drink. All I knew was that I didn't have enough to drink yet to deal with their bickering, however playful it may be.

"Gimme." I made grabby hands for the bottle and Brie shook her head.

"You get a glass just like the rest of us."

I nodded, grabbing a glass off the tray and holding it out for Brie to pour the wine into.

She looked from me to the glass, another look I wasn't sure I understood. After filling my glass, I brought it to my lips and damn near drank it down.

"You know, I don't even like wine."

"Then why are you drinking it, loser?" Brie asked with a laugh.

"I like the way it makes me feel. Warm and tingly." I looked at Lizzie who was now staring at me, finishing off her second glass of wine. "Maybe you should be slowing down, Miss Olsen." I teased her and she just smiled at me.

"Hush. I can hold my own. Plus, I'm older than you - I tell you what to do."

"How do you know that?"

"You look like a teenager." She laughed. "You can't be older than twenty-five."

"For your information, I'll be thirty this year."

"Thirty! You lie."

I shook my head and gestured over at Brie.

"Ask Brie. She knows."

Lizzie's eyes widened in shock when she saw Brie nodding at her unasked question.

"So, I'm not much older than you." I shook my head. "You're the same age as my husband."

I must've paled at her words because Brie's expression changed from relaxed to worried at the sight of me.

My mouth went dry and I did my best to nod at what she had said. Once again, her mentioning Robbie threw me for a loop. I felt like I had been sucker punched straight in the gut. I had to get used to her talking about her husband if I was going to be her friend.

I downed the rest of my wine and put my glass out for a refill, which Brie didn't hesitate to give me. Maybe she felt bad for me. I wasn't sure, but I wasn't about to ask.

"Are you okay, Y/N?"

Her gentle eyes bore into mine and I could almost feel the burning tears forming behind my eyes. I shook the emotion off and smiled at her, brushing off her worry.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about tomorrow. Still getting used to flying." I lied. And I was damn good at it.

She nodded in understanding and continued to sip at her drink.

"Some people never get used to it, but I think it can be relaxing. Especially if there's a good movie on."

"I couldn't even tell you what movies they showed on the flight. I was too busy daydreaming, staring out the window."

"I do that too." She smiled, about to say something else, when Brie cut in.

"What did you guys order? I already forgot what I wanted." She said as she sifted through the various food items we had brought to the room.

"Eat what you want, Brie." I said as I sat down on the floor across from Lizzie who was still perched at the edge of the bed. "It's all for everyone."

She shrugged and started to eat something I couldn't quite identify. I finished off my glass once again, and laid down on the floor. I heard someone approach me and I looked up to see Lizzie standing above me, her glass refilled and a smile on her face.

"You sure you're okay down there?"

"I'm Gucci."

"Gucci?" She asked, laughter in her beautiful voice.

"Yeah, it means I'm fine, essentially."

She nodded in understanding and went over to the food tray to eat with Brie. I shut my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I could be her friend. I made it this far. I met her, she likes me - as a friend - and we get along fantastically. I couldn't let my dumb feelings mess this up for me. I could lose her all together if I let this crush get in the way.

I opened my eyes at the feel of someone nudging my leg. Looking up, I saw Brie, a look of concern on her face.

"You okay, gaymergod?"

I rolled my eyes at her and sat up again, wondering how long I had been laying there since a good chunk of the food was now gone.

"I'm fine, Brie."

"Gaymergod?" Lizzie questioned.

"Emphasis on the 'gay'." Brie teased.

"It's my Twitch handle. It's how people know me online."

"You go by 'Gaymergod'?" She giggled and I nodded.

"Y/N_gaymergod, actually."

"You dork." She kicked me gently with her foot and I kicked her back. "Stop! You'll make me spill my wine!"

"You started it." I laughed as she continued to kick me, clearly uncaring about the drink in her hand.

"Stop playing footsie, you two." Brie grabbed the wine bottle. "It's time for a refill."

"As the designated babysitter, I think you two have nearly had enough."

"We didn't even finish the bottle yet!" Brie exclaimed, topping off Lizzie's drink and refilling her own glass to the very top.

"Maybe you shouldn't."

"Maybe we should."

Lizzie got up from her spot on the bed and went over to the food tray, picking something up and then gesturing over to me.

"C'mere, Y/N. You need to eat."

"Eat what exactly?" I heard Brie mumble under her breath and I gave her leg a kick as I passed her by.

I eyed the food that they left for me; various finger foods and snack items. Lizzie had a small sandwich in her hand and she brought it up to my lips.

"Open."

I did as I was told and she fed me the sandwich. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, but the best part about it was feeling her fingers ghost over my lips as she pulled away.

"It's okay." I said as I swallowed. "What else is there?"

Lizzie began animatedly pointing out and describing each of the food items left on the tray. I couldn't lie, I was staring at her and didn't hear a word she had been saying. Her voice was like a lullaby, a soft hymn made just for me. I nodded as she spoke, licking my dry lips as I watched her. She was a piece of living art.

"And then there's these little green things. They might be French. Or Italian. I'm not sure." She laughed and I laughed with her.

"That's a big difference." I picked up what she had been talking about and popped it into my mouth. "French. Definitely French."

"I thought so. Brie was probably just trying to make me feel stupid by telling me I was wrong."

"Yup!" She called out from the kitchenette, digging around the fridge for some of our leftovers.

I shook my head and took another random finger food before heading over to the bed, plopping down with a thud. Lizzie watched me for a second before walking over to me, standing in front of my legs.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded and she sat down next to me, taking my hand in one of hers.

"You know you can talk to me about anything?"

I looked down at our hands and nodded again, earning a squeeze from her.

"Words." She encouraged.

"Yes, ma'am." I teased and she smiled.

"I know we just met, but I think you're really fantastic. I can tell you have a good heart."

"Thanks, Lizzie." I looked at her from the corner of my eye, unsure if I could look at her without my emotions seeping through.

It felt like my heart was stuck in my throat.

"Don't be so gloomy, okay? We're supposed to be having fun! I don't want your last memory of us to be so sad."

"I'm not sad." I argued.

"That's not what it looks like."

"She's right," Brie chimed in. "But I know what'll cheer you right up."

She went looking around for her bag, tripping slightly over her own feet as she explored the messy room. She found it under a few discarded sheets and went digging around inside it. Turning to us, she held out a joint and a lighter, smiling triumphantly.

"Tada! Drugs!"

I laughed and Lizzie rolled her eyes, but also looked amused. She walked over to us and put the blunt between my lips. I held onto it as she lit it and took a deep toke, holding the smoke in my mouth before exhaling slowly. I took another quick puff before passing it off to Lizzie, who did almost the same thing I did, but held it in longer. She let out a small cough as she passed it back to Brie, who relit it and inhaled it deeply.

"That shit is strong, Brie."

"Yup," she said, her voice straining from holding in the smoke. "And we're gonna finish it."

It was fat and long, and clearly Brie had packed it just for this occasion. But I wasn't so sure she had Lizzie in mind when she rolled it. If this was meant for just us, we would've surely gotten fucked up beyond belief.

She passed it back to me and I continued the rotation, all of us enjoying each other's company, and the joint, as the room became thick with smoke.

Lizzie's giggles we're infectious, and I found myself giggling right along with her as she laughed at something stupid Brie had said. I laid back on the bed, done smoking for now, and watched as the two blondes finished up the blunt.

"Are you sure you're done? I'm gonna kill it." Brie said as Lizzie laid down next to me, curling up against my side.

"Dude, kill it. I'm done and she's obviously done too."

We both laughed at the sight of her, half asleep, drunk and high off her ass.

"Don't laugh at me." She murmured softly, which just caused us to laugh more.

I heard her whine as she buried her face in the pillows and I pat her hair gently in apology.

"We're not laughing at you."

"No, not at all." Brie said sarcastically, coming over to lay on the other side of me after discarding what remained of the joint.

After a moment, we heard her snoring softly and I sighed, bringing my hand back to lay on my stomach, already missing the feel of her silky hair between my fingers.

"You're down bad." Brie laughed and I elbowed her in the side, doing my best to not disturb sleeping Lizzie.

"I am not. And I've done nothing to prove that I am."

"It's just the way you look at her." She raised herself up to look at me. "I bet nobody's ever looked at her before like that in her life."

"I'm sure Robbie does."

"Yeah, I'm sure he does."

She looked me over for a moment before speaking again.

"Prove you don't have feelings for her."

"How?" I asked helplessly. "That's, like, impossible."

"Because you do."

"No, because how can I prove something like that?"

"Kiss me."

I swallowed roughly, my eyes traveling from her eyes to her lips. They were nice and from what I remembered, they were soft and sweet. I took a deep breath and lifted myself up slightly, careful to not wake Lizzie, and pressed my lips against Brie's.

Our eyes closed instantly and I felt her hand cup my cheek, pulling me closer to her. We parted after a moment, gasping for breath, and then continued to explore each other. She tasted like whatever sweet candy she had found in the fridge and like weed, which I'm sure was the same for me. She moaned softly and I pulled away from her, only to press another small kiss to her lips as I moved away completely.

"That was ..." she started.

"Yeah." I finished.

"I still don't believe you though." She smirked at me and I knew she was just saying that to get me to kiss her more.

"You never will, will you?"

"Nope." She smiled widely and kissed me again, but I pushed her away this time.

"We have someone here with us, remember?" I gestured with my head to sleeping Lizzie and I felt my heart squeeze with pain at the fact that it wasn't her I was kissing.

It never would be.

Brie groaned dramatically and got up from the bed, heading into the kitchenette. That woman had an iron stomach. I leaned back into the pillows and Lizzie got closer to me, wrapping her arm around my middle as she slept peacefully. I wrapped my arm around her and held her as she slept, happy to at least have this with her.

"Goodnight, Miss Olsen."

#oizysian writes #elizabeth olsen x yn #brie larson x y/n #brie larson x female reader #brie larson x you #brie larson x reader #brie larson #elizabeth olsen story #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x female reader #elizabeth olsen fanfic

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here4kpopfics · 2 years ago

Text

Coming Home | Joshua

Pairing: Joshua x (f)reader

Genre: smut, fluff

AU: established relationship, idol!au

Wordcount: 4.4k

Summary: Your boyfriend’s flight is delayed and he won’t be home for Valentine’s Day. Your boyfriend is also a notorious liar.

Warnings: Language, pet names (pretty girl, baby) oral (f receiving), fingering, overstimulation, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), Shua’s a little shit but we love him

Rating: M/18+

AN: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY @baljinciaga I hope you enjoy Shua loving up on you. Thank you @playmetheclassics for beta-ing & @classicscreations for the banner. 💜

Masterlist | Taglist | AskBox | Coffee?

“Say that again?” Your voice trembles just a little, enough to let him know you’re upset. You almost drop the moisturizer container on the counter.

“My flight is delayed until tomorrow evening.”

“You can’t just take another flight?” You’re being irrational, and you know it. You’re fully pouting, and although he can’t see your childish behavior, he can picture it correctly, so he lets out a breathless laugh.

“I’m sorry, baby. The weather got worse, so they delayed every flight until tomorrow.”

“But this was gonna be our first Valentine’s Day together, Joshua.” The container makes its way safely to the counter as you scoop out enough moisturizer, staring at it in your hand, still pouting.

“I know, y/n. And it’s killing me that we won’t be together. But hey, I remember you saying you never liked the day anyway. So we can have Valentine’s Day the day after. We’ll get all the chocolate for half off, and make a day of it. We’ll go out when there’s not a million people with reservations. We’ll go for a walk, come home, have a spa night, I’ll tell you how much I love you over and over. It’ll be perfect.”

It does sound perfect, but you’re still an irrational child right now as you huff a breath out in annoyance, rubbing the moisturizer across your face.

“I only said I didn’t like Valentine’s Day because I didn’t have someone to spend it with. Now I have you, and I was looking forward to it…” you take a deep breath, temper tantrum dying as the moisturizer melts into your skin. “It’s okay. You can’t change the weather, and you’re right. We can have the day after be our day.”

“I’m sorry, pretty.”

“It’s fine. But next year. Next year, you are doing the whole nine yards of cheesy Valentine’s Day.” The laughter from the phone’s speaker makes your heart flutter. You love that laugh so much. You love everything about Joshua. It’s a little sickening.

“I promise, my love. The whole nine yards.”

“Good.”

“I gotta go, but I’ll see you the day after tomorrow, okay? And then we can celebrate in our own way.”

“Okay. I love you, Shua.”

“Love you too, baby. Bye.”

“I also bought a sexy lingerie set for tomorrow. Sucks you won’t see it. Okay byyyyeeeee.” Your words stick together as you say it all in one breath, leaving just enough time for him to start saying what before hanging up on him. You go back to getting ready for bed, giggling at the influx of text messages from your boyfriend.

Shua🧸: you bought a what now?

Shua🧸: I wanna see.

Shua🧸: Pretty Girl.

Shua🧸: Answer me pls. 🥺

Oh, the damn pouty emoji with the nickname wins every time.

You take the set out of the bag, laying it on the bed and instead of getting into it like you know he probably wants you to. But it’s late, and that’s just too damn bad.

You send the picture of the set off to him, and not even a second later, your phone is a mess again.

Shua🧸: …

Shua🧸: Baby please put that on and let me see.

Y/n: no

Shua🧸: 🥺

Y/n: nah nah nah. The pouty face won’t work twice in a row. Come home and maybe you’ll see it.

Shua🧸: I’ll fucking fly the plane myself if it gets me home sooner.

Y/n: good luck with that, Shu. Goodnight 😘

You silence your phone, getting settled into bed with a smile on your face. You’re bummed about not seeing him in the morning, but it’s always fun to tease your boyfriend. Maybe you can wear the set and send some photos tomorrow.

You fall asleep thinking of ways to make a shitty situation better.

The next morning, you decided to follow through with the plan, getting ready for work and wearing the pretty little lace thing you bought underneath your pencil skirt and a flowy blouse. You took a few photos before finishing getting ready and sent them off to Joshua, and left for work.

Work sucked, however.

Until today, you were unaware of how many of your coworkers were in relationships. And until today, you were not aware of how horrifically stereotypical some people could be about Valentine’s Day. It really wasn’t that many, but it felt like every hour, a flower delivery would happen for a few of your coworkers at a time. But it grew more confusing each time because it was almost always a dozen roses for each coworker.

Except when the delivery person comes by your cubicle with a small vase with a few beautiful sunflowers in it and a tiny card attached.

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”

~🧸

The sputtering laugh was completely unintentional and surely scared some of your coworkers, but you didn’t care. You whipped out your phone and took a photo of the flowers and card arranged nicely on your desk and sent it to Joshua with a few heart emojis. As it was sending, however, you noticed he never responded to the lingerie photo. It just said it was seen.

You toss your phone in your desk drawer, feeling self-conscious, and ignoring it the rest of the work day.

The bus ride home sucked more than work did, with couples holding hands on their way to their crowded dates, and couples on their way back home and being a little too handsy with one another. You stay seated, annoyed with yourself for forgetting and leaving the sunflowers at work.

You check your messages again to find nothing from Joshua. The stupid read receipt shows under the photo but no replies. You put your phone away, instead focusing on the city outside the window the rest of the way home. You start to zone out until you hear a small voice.

“Excuse me, lady?” You turn away from the window, finding a little boy, at least five or six years old, smiling ear to ear.

“Hi?” How the hell do you respond to children? Especially stranger children?

“This is for you!” He exclaims, handing you a single rose.

What?

“Oh?” You hesitantly take the rose from him, eyes scanning the rest of the bus until you find what you assume to be his mother sitting across from you, smiling at you and her son. You smile back, nodding your head to her before looking back at her son.

“That’s so sweet of you. Thank you!” You grin, nodding your head to him as he does to you.

“I don’t have a Valentine. Will you be mine?” He asks, and you have to bite back a laugh, sharing another glance with his mom, who just shrugs with a laugh.

Well, he did give you a rose.

“Sure! What’s your name, Valentine?”

“Min-su!”

“Ahh, nice to meet you, Min-su! My name is y/n!”

You two talk for another ten minutes. Or, rather, you let him excitingly tell you about his day at school and all the things he and his friends did while you and his mom share looks of amusement. When it’s time for them to get off the bus, he quickly reaches in his backpack and takes out a small pack of Sour Patch Kids, shoving them in your hand.

“Thank you for being my Valentine!!” You laugh, thanking him back and waving at him and his mother as they get off the bus. You sniff the rose, holding it close to you and smiling the rest of the way home.

You climb the stairs to your apartment, still playing with the rose in your hand, and come to halt at your doorstep once you unlock the door.

You didn’t leave the lights on, did you?

Why does it smell like the oven is on?

Why are there candles lit?

Before you can do or say anything, someone rounds the corner from the kitchen and into your living room.

“Ah, crap! I thought I had more time!” Your boyfriend. The boyfriend that said he wasn’t going to be here until tomorrow. That boyfriend. Is somehow standing in your living room, wearing a simple white shirt loosely tucked into his jeans.

“I don’t suppose you can, like…go back outside for ten more minutes so I can get everything set up, right?”

You glare at him, still not moving an inch as you try to figure out what the hell is going on.

“No. I can’t. It’s like 10 degrees outside.”

“Right, right. Okay…then uh…” he looks around the room for a second. “How about your room? Wait, no. I didn’t finish setting up in there. Please don’t go in there.”

“Setting up?”

“Maybe the bathroom?”

“Josh.”

“Yeah, the bathroom…”

“Shua.”

“It’ll only be like a few minutes, I promise.”

“Joshua!” You yell, finally silencing him. His mouth parts in shock, switching back and forth on his feet, hands playing with one another.

“What the hell is going on? You said your flight was delayed.”

“Oh…uh…” he fidgets in place before looking at you nervously. “I lied!”

“You lied?”

“Yeah?” He can sense you getting mad, remembering how much you hate when he lies, even if it’s as a joke or surprise, and switches into defense mode to quickly explain himself.

“But it was part of the surprise! I was gonna have all the cheesy Valentine’s Day stuff ready to go when you got here. I have your favorite meal going and your favorite wine. I was gonna put out a bunch of rose petals leading to the table and the bed. I was gonna light more candles, but then it got too stuffy in here, and I know you hate that. And then I got you a teddy bear, one that looks exactly like the emoji one you use in your phone for me. And I got a heart-shaped box of chocolates, I sent you the flowers…whe- where are the flowers?”

“I accidentally left them at work…” you both look down at the rose in your hand.

“Oh. Why do you have a rose?”

“My Valentine on the bus, Min-su, gave it to me and a pack of sour patch kids.” You pull the candy out of your pocket, placing it and the rose on the table by the door.

“You’re cheating on me?” You roll your eyes, kicking your shoes off.

“He’s like five, Shua.” You groan, hanging your purse and jacket by the door.

“You’re cheating on me with a five year old?”

You scowl, giving yourself a moment to calm down.

He’s here. On Valentine’s Day. He lied to surprise you.

Your heart’s going to burst.

“Shut up and hug me before I start crying.”

“Say less!” He rushes over to where you’re still standing, wrapping you up in his arms.

God, you missed this feeling of his arms tightly around you, keeping you safe. You tuck your face into his neck, breathing in the scent of him, and you don’t want to cry, but when you take another breath, a soft sob escapes you.

“Is this why you didn’t respond to me all day?” Your question gets muffled against his skin.

“Yeah, my love. I’m sorry.”

You pull away from his neck, quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks. His hands drop to your hips as he kisses your forehead.

“Okay. I was worried you didn’t like the photo.” You hiccup, face flushing in embarrassment.

“Oh, pretty girl,” his fingers dig into your hips, pulling you flush against him.

“That was the first thing I saw when I got off the plane,” his hands riding up your waist, “and it took everything in me not to just go straight to your office and have my way with you there.”

Your breath catches in your throat when his hands stop, his thumbs pressing against your rib cage just below your breasts. He can feel the wire lining of the bra and he sighs almost in relief.

“Are you still wearing it?” You nod slowly. “You wore this even though you thought I wouldn’t be here?”

“I wanted to feel good. My boyfriend wasn’t going to be home to do it.” You smirk, and he’s the one glaring now.

“I really want to take this stupid skirt and blouse and throw you on the bed, but I made your favorite meal and so it’s gonna have to wait.”

“What a shame.” You joke when he gives you a quick kiss, letting him lead you to the kitchen.

He makes you wait at the table for him to finish preparing everything. You smile watching him dart from one room to the next and back and forth to the kitchen to make sure everything is cooking correctly. You offered to help various times, but he ignored you, telling you just to sit and be pretty while telling you how he planned this whole thing and the shit he had to go through to travel here unnoticed.

When he wasn’t looking and fiddling with the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen, you snuck away to your room, trying not to look at the over dramatic Valentine’s Day set up he made and just heading straight for the dresser, pulling out a little fabric bag, stuffing it in your bra, before quickly returning to the table before he noticed.

The dinner was amazing, and you insisted on helping him do the dishes, saying you could go to the bedroom a lot faster if he let you help.

Of course, that worked, and he was soon practically dragging you to your bedroom, no shame in being ready to rid you of your office attire.

The room is straight out of a romance movie. Valentine’s Day decorations everywhere, rose petals leading to the bed that form a giant heart across the mattress. There are a few candles lit, both real and fake, but most of the light is coming from the fairy lights you had painstakingly put up when you moved in.

He doesn’t give you much time to admire his work, hugging you from behind the moment you step into your room. His lips attach to your neck while his hands wrap around your middle, teasingly pulling your blouse from your skirt.

“I’ve missed you, pretty girl.” He pants in your ear, “I’ve missed being able to touch you, I’ve missed the sounds you make when I do, I’ve missed this fucking body and the way it reacts to only me.”

You whine when one hand grabs one of your breasts, pulling you closer to him. You rest your head back against his shoulder as his hands continue to wander your body, slowly unbuttoning your blouse. It’s when he gets to the last button that you remember the bag.

“Wait. I have. A present for you.”

“What?”

“It’s in my bra.”

You look up at his confused expression with a grin, your hand pulling the little bag out from your cleavage and handing it to him.

“It’s not much, but I thought you might like it. It’s subtle enough that you can wear it without suspicion.”

His hands leave your body, opening the bag and letting a small bracelet fall into his palm. It’s thin, silver, and has two very small gems on it that you would only notice if you actually looked.

“Are these?”

“Our birthstones? Yes. It’s crazy amounts of cheesy, but I suck at getting gifts, so I don’t know. I thought this would be cute? You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to. I can try to get a refun—”

You’re cut off by suddenly being turned around and lips crashing against yours. His big hands, still holding the bracelet, cradle your cheeks as he deepens the kiss, backing you towards the bed.

Your body is eased down onto the bed, one of his hands quickly scattering the rose petals from under you, laying you down in the center as he positions himself over you, lips barely leaving yours for more than a second.

“It’s perfect. And beautiful. Thank you, my love.” He peppers your face with his lips, both of you being sent into giggle fits as he sits up, straddling you as you help put it on his wrist.

“I have a matching one, see?” You raise your wrist, shoving off the matching bracelet as he puts it on.

“I didn’t even see it earlier.”

“Exactly. It’s perfect for us.” His fingers wrap around your wrist, bringing it to his lips to kiss where the bracelet sits. He looks down at you, lying underneath him, your blouse unbuttoned, and finally showing him the bra you sent a photo of earlier today. A small groan escapes as he leans forward again, pinning your arm above your head, your other arm naturally following without being touched or told.

“I like the sound of that.” He whispers above your lips.

“What sound?”

“Us.” He kisses you deeply, nipping at your lower lip before leaving a trail of kisses down your throat. “You. Me. Us. You’re mine, and I’m yours. I like it. I love it.”

You don’t fight back the moan he coaxes out of you when he finds the sensitive part of your skin between your neck and shoulder. You arch your back to try to get closer to him, desperate for his touch against your skin.

“Shua.” You whine, feeling his lips curve into a smile.

“What do you need, pretty girl?”

“You.”

“You have me.”

“Touch me, please.”

“Only because you said please.” He lifts himself from you, sitting up and finding the zipper to your skirt, slowly pulling it down.

“You know your hands aren’t actually tied up, right, baby? You’re free to move.”

“No,” you shake your head as you lift your hips. “You get angry when I do.”

He smirks, harshly tugging your skirt down your body, tossing the fabric off the bed.

“Only when you’re being bad. Right now, I just want to love you.” He hums, ripping your stockings and laughing at your gasp.

“I’ll buy you new ones.” He quickly says before you can yell at him.

His hands slowly slide up and down your thighs, gently pushing them open. His eyes dart straight to the wet patch of your matching underwear.

“Baby, you’re soaked.”

“Please.” You rasp, your hands no longer above your head as you try to reach for any part of him. He notices your grabby hands and offers one of his, and you take that perfect opportunity to pull him back on top of you.

“Just fuck me. Please, Shua. I need you inside me, or I’ll lose my mind.” It’s almost embarrassing how fast he reduces you to begging as you bring his lips to yours, molding together perfectly.

“You don’t want me to prep you?” He asks with a hint of nervousness. “I don’t want to hurt you, pretty.”

“I’ll be fine,” you shake your head, completely ignoring one of his hands sliding between you both, “just want you right now, plea- fuck.” You curse when two of his perfectly long fingers move your underwear to the side and immediately start to finger you roughly, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

“I’ll give you whatever you want, pretty. Just fall apart for me once first.”

His fingers curl inside you, pressing in exactly the right spots to make you shake underneath him. Part of you thinks it’s embarrassing how fast he can make you come, but then you see how happy and proud it makes him. How that cockiness makes him a little less gentle with you because he knows his pretty girl can and will take it.

A jumbled mess of words and curses escapes your lips as he continues his attack with his fingers.

“Too much, Shua. Too much,” you whimper, but he doesn’t stop, his open mouth hovering above yours, the evil smirk barely showing.

“You can do it, baby. One more for me.” You lift your head up to kiss him, but he leans back just far enough.

“Nuh-uh. Come on, baby. Focus.” He chuckles when you whine again, leaning down to kiss your neck again, his fingers hitting inside you a little harder.

“You said only once first,” your voice raises in pitch, your fingernail digging into his biceps.

“I’m feeling a little greedy tonight.” He rasps against your throat.

“So just one more, and I promise,” your back arches as his fingers somehow get even deeper inside of you. “I promise I’ll give you what you want.”

This orgasm hits harder than the first and without warning. He has to smother your screams with his lips, fingers leaving you, quickly rubbing the tips of his fingers against your clit, coaxing you to continue to squirt. Your hips raise, desperate for his touch to continue as the rest of your body shakes.

“You’re okay, pretty. You’re okay. Come back to me.” His fingers slide back in, slowly pumping as you come back down. “You did so good for me.” He leaves a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Shua,” you pant, grabbing his wrist and pushing it away from you. “Please.”

“Okay, okay.” He chuckles, bringing his fingers to your lips. You lock eyes with him and wordlessly open your mouth, allowing his fingers in, and suck the taste of you off him, your tongue swirling around his digits. His other hand slides under your back to unhook your bra, pulling it off you and tossing it aside.

“Fuck, you’re everything and more, my love.” He murmurs, quickly kissing you after removing his fingers and then shedding his clothes. You reach out for him, letting out a small groan when your arms start feeling heavy.

“Hold on.” He laughs, crawling onto the bed, fist stroking his hardened erection, smearing his precum along the way.

“Can you get on your knees for me, pretty?” You make a fuss, both of you smiling as you flip yourself over. Your arms and knees wobble slightly, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Joshua. He grabs two pillows and tucks them under your stomach, and hands you another to hold onto.

He leans forward, kissing the spot where your neck meets your back.

“Just relax, baby. Let me take care of you.” He murmurs against your skin, sitting back up when you relax more in the position, the pillows helping keep you up.

He pulls your underwear to the side again, one of your arms reaching back to hold it. You moan at the feel of his tip sliding against your folds, gathering your slick and rubbing against your clit. He doesn’t wait for you to beg for him before he’s sliding in in one thrust.

“Fuck, Shua.” You cry out, the feeling of him stretching you so perfectly adding fuel to the fire burning inside you.

“You take me so well every time, y/n. Such a perfect pussy. And all for me and just me, right?”

“Just you.” You think you say it coherently, but it’s more of a muffled moan into the pillow as you try to raise your ass to meet his hips.

His fingers dig into your hips when you press against him, trying not to come already and letting out a low groan. His grip loosens as his pace picks up, one arm reaching around your waist, the other reaching for your throat, pulling your body up to him.

“You okay, baby?” His lips find your ear, his panting making you clench around him. He hisses in your ear, adding a little pressure to the hold on your neck. “Talk to me, pretty girl.”

“I- ah, I’m okay. Feels so good, Shua.” You whine, reaching behind you to grab his hair, your other hand’s nails digging into the forearm around your waist.

“Gonna come all over my cock, right baby? Give me a third?”

You nod, biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from being too loud.

“Come with me, Shua. Please, baby.”

“Where do you want me?” He growls in your ear, but he already knows your answer, his hips snapping to yours a little harder when you mutter the word inside.

“If that’s what the pretty girl wants.” He grins, kissing the space under your ear.

A few more thrusts and you're warning him of your impending third orgasm.

“Let go.” He whispers, and you do. You lean your head back on his shoulder as he buries his face in your neck, and you clench around him. It takes three more sharp thrusts before he buries himself deep inside you, groaning against your skin as he fills you up, your walls milking him for everything.

You feel yourself go limp in his arms, allowing him to maneuver you to lay back down on the bed. You both groan as he pulls out of you, his fingers quickly taking over to shove any escaping cum back inside.

“You keep that in there for me, so I can taste it later, yeah?” You grunt in response, an exhausted smile forming as tired arms reach for him. He’s quick to give you what you need, laying beside you. You run your fingers through his hair, caressing it softly at the base of his neck and giving him goosebumps.

You adore him. You love him. He’s yours, and you’re his. There is no better feeling than being loved by Joshua.

“I love you.” A whisper escapes your lips, and he hums, his head leaning into your palm.

“I love you, too, pretty girl.”

“I’m still mad that you lied, though. Don’t think you’re getting away with that by being a perfect boyfriend.”

“Oh, I’m aware. And I will do whatever you need me to do to make up for it.” You scoff, pulling your hand away from him.

“Oh, you will. Later though. For now, I want my Valentine to cuddle me.”

“Min-su? He’s a kid. I don’t think that’s appropriate, y/n.”

“Ugh. You’re the worst.” You grumble, flipping over on your side so your back is facing him. He doesn’t hesitate to respond, curling up against you and kissing any part of your face he can reach, making you giggle.

“I’m the best, and you know it. Min-su could only dream to be even as close to the best as I am.”

You don’t respond, not wanting to entertain his bit. You reach behind you for his wrist, the bracelet wrapped around him perfectly and hold his hand close to your chest, enjoying the visual of the two pieces of jewelry connected.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” He whispers it in your ear as you fall asleep, the happiest and most in love you’ve ever been.

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jessicaloons · 8 months ago

Text

Chapter 37:

I think I am finally clean…

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It was raining. In Monaco. In August. When it was decided that I wanted to go talk to Diaz we called his Doctor to set up a meeting. That he asked us to come the next day was scary and Charles asked me if I was sure and if I needed more time, but no. It was decided. The flights were booked, the hotel reserved. And then the rain came pouring down. The whole way to the airport. The flight. The way to the hotel. Rain. Dark and cloudy sky.

It almost felt like a sign. The universe telling me to not go there. To not go see him. But this little voice in the back of my mind was a bitch. Telling me to go. Telling me to listen to him. I was nervous. Anxious. Scared. Angry. Desperate. Devastated. I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know what to do. Neither knew Charles. He sat on one of the armchairs, watching me watching the rain outside our window.

"Cara mia?" he asked after a while and I turned a little, looking at him "Let’s order something to eat? Maybe watch a movie?"

"I’m not hungry." I mumbled, turning my back at him again, continuing staring outside, watching the lightning bolts chasing after each other in the darkening sky.

"Lizzie…" he whispered, standing right behind me and I flinched "Hey!" he turned me around, gently grabbing my chin, tilting my head upwards "We don’t have to go there… we can fly back home tomorrow and by Thursday we’re already on the boat. Leaving for the summer."

"No. I want to go. I want to talk to him…" my voice was raspy and weak "I want to know why…" I stopped. Body shaking. The thoughts of what Diaz put me through all coming back in my mind.

"Okay. But you need all your strength and power…" he kissed my cheek and I slowly nodded "Burger and Fries? Or Pizza?"

"Umm…" I bit my lip, thinking about it.

"Both it is…" Charles chuckled and walked over to the phone "And I think a chocolate milkshake sounds also pretty good, no?"

"Perfect." I smiled at him and sat down on the sofa, pulling my knees up to my chest, when he sat down next to me, he pulled me into him.

"You’re shaking… and I can hear your heart practically beating from here…" Charles whispered and I burried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent, calming down immediately.

"I’m okay… or I will be… you’re here." I mumbled.

"I’m not leaving your side for a single moment." he kissed the top of my head and I nodded slowly.

"Good, because I think I can’t do it alone."

The drive from the hotel to the psychiatric hospital outside of Madrid felt like an eternity. My leg was bouncing nervously, Charles’ hand on my thigh, rubbing soothing circles on it to calm me down. I saw on the screen that we would arrive in 32 minutes and I felt my insides churning. 32 minutes. The time was ticking away so slowly that I closed my eyes, leaning back. Humming a melody that was stuck in my head. After a while I started to sing. Quietly. Only for myself to hear I thought. Only to calm myself down.

"I always loved it when you were singing…" Charles whispered after a while and I looked at him with big eyes "You have a beautiful voice, cara mia. I said it a million times before…"

"Oh stop…" I chuckled a little, looking out the window again.

"I’ll stop when you continue to sing." he stated and I sighed a little, but then continued. Charles grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles, calming me down even more. When the navigation system let us know that we arrived at our destination all calmness was gone, replaced by anxiety. The guard at the gate asked our names and then the big and heavy looking iron gate opened up, revealing a long driveway up a hill, the psychiatric hospital on top of it. As soon as we parked I felt my anxiety grow even more, the skin at my nape prickling, goosebumps erupting. I swallowed hard and Charles looked at me.

"Lizzie, you don’t have to do this. No one would think less of you. Just because he wants to talk to you, doesn’t mean that you have to grant him his wish. We can go home. Forget about it." he took my hands in his and I closed my eyes.

"I’m not giving him the satisfaction that he won…" my voice became hoarse.

"He didn’t win, Lizzie. You did. You are here. Free. He’s locked up. You won." he squeezed my hands and I looked at him.

"I don’t want to look weak…" I began but Charles shook his head.

"You’re the strongest person I know! What he did to you? And still you decided to come here! You are so brave, cara mia."

"You come in with me, right? I don’t want to face him alone…" I said hesitantly, but Charles gently leaned his forehead against mine.

"I would never let you go in there alone!"

"Thank you…" I sighed and he nodded.

"Okay, are you ready?" he mustered me for a moment and I nodded "Then let’s go." he got out of the car, walked around it and opened my door, holding his hand out "I’m with you. Every step of the way."

Charles held my hand tight as we walked to the entrance, a security guard nodding at us, a buzzer rang out, opening the doors. At the front desk a nurse was waiting for us.

"Señora Doetterer, Señor Leclerc, Dr. Martínez is already awaiting you. I’ll take you to him." she smiled at us, then pointed at the front desk "You have to sign into our visitor book and wear these." she handed us a visitor pass each, which I tried to clip to my jacket, with my shaky hands but I failed and Charles helped me, before he did the same with his, then I took the pen to sign into the book but my hand was shaking too much and I dropped the pen.

"Here, let me do that." Charles picked up the pen and signed us both in, then he grabbed my hand again and looked at me for "Do you need a moment?"

"No, I’m okay." I shook my head and he looked at me intently, before he nodded.

"Okay, then let’s go." he turned to look at the nurse and we followed her.

The hallway was long. White. Bright neon light from above. Our steps echoed from the walls. Every door was locked with a keypad. It was quiet. Too quiet. The air smelled somewhat burned, mixed with disinfectant. The whole place felt sinister. We stopped in front of an elevator and the nurse called it down with a keycard. We stepped in, letting it take us to the second floor, still following the nurse. She turned left and stopped in front of a door, then she knocked and opened the door. I walked in first, quickly followed by Charles.

"Ah! Miss Doetterer, Mr. Leclerc, take a seat, please! I’m Dr. Martínez." a middle aged man in dark blue slacks, white button down and a grey sports jacket got up from his chair and walked around the table, shaking our hands "Thank you, Inez, I call you in as soon as we need you."

"Of course, Dr. Martínez." the nurse replied and closed the door behind us.

"Thank you for coming today, Miss Doetterer." he sat back down, a friendly smile on his face "And of course, thank you too, Mr. Leclerc. It’s always better if a confrontation like today happens when the… the victim has some emotional but also physical support by their side."

"How will this confrontation look like? Is he locked behind bars? I’m not letting him get close to Lizzie." Charles said and Dr. Martínez nodded.

"I understand your concerns, Mr. Leclerc. I assure you, you both will be save. He is chained to the chair he’s sitting on. Me and another nurse will be by his side, while you two will sit at the other side of the table." he explained.

"The moment I sense any form of discomfort for Lizzie, I will end this whole thing and we leave." Charles squeezed my hand tightly.

"Of course! Now, as I told you already on the phone, Salva suffers from a plethora of mental illnesses. He has tendencies to a bipolar disorder as well as a strong obsession with you Lizzie, it goes that far to be considered as an illness called erotomania. It is a relatively uncommon paranoid condition that is characterized by an individual's delusions of another person being infatuated with them. He talked about how he saw you at press conferences and that he could feel how you were flirting, being affectionate towards him, but when he confronted you, you denied your infatuation with him. In his mind you did things that showed him that you were interested but just too shy to admit it. I think he tried to lure a confession out of you, by asking highly sexualised questions, hoping you would finally admit your feelings. When you instead of confirming his fantasies getting him banned from the paddock, his love and admiration turned into rage and obsession. In his mind you were forbidding him of his love for you. His object of desire became the manifestation of his hatred."

"But why does he want to talk to me then? Why does he want to see me then? When he hates me?" I almost whispered.

"He seemed remorseful, when he told me everything. He talked about how he realised that the way he pursued you was wrong. Maybe he sees this as his absolution. Apologising to you. Explaining why he did what he did."

"Okay." I looked down on the floor, a little ink stain underneath the table was suddenly all too interesting.

"I suggest you let him talk, let him say what he has to say, from then on we’ll see how to progress." Dr. Martínez got up but Charles held up his hand.

"To make this clear. We’re not here for his sake. We’re here for Lizzie. For her peace of mind. For her to find closure. When I see that this confrontation is taking its toll on her, we’re out. I don’t care if he’s in the middle of a heartfelt apology or whatever. I don’t care for him. If this doesn’t benefit Lizzie, we’re leaving. Again, if I sense just the slightest of discomfort for her, the session is done. We will leave immediately. I don’t care if he finds absolution. He can rot in hell for what it’s worth, if it were up to me." Charles looked at the doctor with stormy eyes. His grasp on my hand comforting me, grounding me.

"Mr. Leclerc, I understand that you want to protect your girlfriend. But a negative, hostile attitude won’t be helpful. Maybe you should wait outsi-…"

"No. I stay by her side, or we’re leaving immediately. Again. We’re here for Lizzie. And only Lizzie. If that’s a problem for you, say it now and we see ourselves out." Charles stood his ground and the way he defended me gave me a sense of security, comfort. I squeezed his hand and he looked at me, smiling encouraging "These are our conditions. It’s up to you now."

Dr. Martínez looked between us, then sighed.

"Please follow me." he pushed a button on his phone and a moment later the door opened and Inez, the nurse from before, smiled at us.

"Salva is waiting for you, Dr."

With every step we took I felt more and more sick. My breathing was ragged, vision blurry. The only thing keeping me going and steady was Charles next to me, holding me close by the waist with one hand, his other hand had my hand in a tight grip.

"I want you to hold my hand in there, the whole time. I want you to squeeze my hand as hard as you can when it’s getting too much, then we’re leaving. You are the strongest person I know, just coming here was so incredibly brave of you!" he whispered reassuring into my ear and I nodded slightly "I’m here, you’re not alone. He can’t hurt you anymore, he can’t hurt anyone anymore, okay?"

"Okay…" I whispered back and we stopped in front of a door.

"Ready?" Dr. Martínez asked and I nodded "Alright." he opened up the door with his keycard and we waited for the buzzer, as soon as it rang out he pushed the door open, stepping inside.

I took one last deep breath, Charles smiling at me, and followed the doctor, Charles right at my back. We sat down and I held my head down, starring at the floor.

"What? You don’t even want to look at me and say hi?" Salva’s voice was like ice running through my veins.

"Salva." Dr. Martínez scolded him and he sighed.

"Hello Lizzie. Hello Charles. Thank you for coming here today." he didn’t sound remorseful, he sounded almost bored.

"Salva, why don’t you tell Lizzie and Charles what you told me, how you regret what you did. How you want to be better."

"Ahhh yeah… that story. See. I don’t think I need to be better… I just wanted an opportunity to talk to Lizzie and where Lizzie goes, Charles follows, isn’t that right" Diaz chuckled and looked at me and then Charles Diaz looked at him, straight in the eyes "By the way. How did you like my little gift on Bianchi’s death day?" he smirked and my eyes widened.

The article from the Spanish newspaper. I was right. It was him. I felt Charles tensing up next to. He tried to not show any emotions but I felt his hand tremble slightly.

"I got over it." he pressed out through clenched teeth.

"Good for you. Really!" Diaz replied, turning his head a little, looking at me as if he waited for me to say something "Oh come on, Lizzie. You came… that means you want to talk. You want to hear my story. You want to…"

"Why?" I interrupted him, my voice barely a whisper.

"Why?" he looked at me and I nodded.

"Why do you want to talk to me? Do you want to explain yourself? Apologise…?" I asked.

"Apologise? No. No definitely not… But I want to tell you my side of the story… why I did what I did… why everything that has happened to you and your family are the consequences of your own doing…"

"Why you did what you did? You started this whole shit just because I rejected you! Back in 2019! In Assen!"

"2019? No. This started earlier. Way earlier. In 2009 to be precise." his smile made me shiver and I looked to Charles, confusion evident on his face as well.

"2009?" I repeated and Diaz nodded.

"Lizzie didn’t know you back then." Charles said and Diaz looked at him.

"Oh, but she did. You as well…" he stated, laughing at the confusion evident on our faces "You see, I’m from a very traditional and conservative family. We don’t think that girls should race… so of course, when we race against a girl, we have to win. Because a girl can’t be better than us. But there was this little annoying brat, always laughing and smiling, charming everyone, fellow drivers, parents, journalists, even racing directors…"

"Just because Lizzie was nice to everyone doesn’t mean that she was charming the race directors!" Charles interrupted and Diaz laughed.

"Oh Charlie boy. Still the big, old guard dog. Funny how nothing has changed." he leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head "Let’s just say, Japan wasn’t the first time your fist hit my face."

"What do you mean?" I asked him and he chuckled.

"Remember when you were disqualified from that race in Italy…"

"… because I punched David…" Charles replied and I remembered that day.

"David Salvador Castro Diaz. David Castro then… Salva Diaz now. Oh you should see the look on your faces. Priceless."

"So you couldn’t beat Lizzie in karting. That’s the reason you did all this?" Charles gently squeezed my hand under the table, when he felt how I tensed up.

"I could beat her, I just never had the chance to. Not when the others were guarding you on track that nothing could happen to our little princess. Not when the race directors where favouring you. My dad was seething. I was a shame for him, he told me more than once. All the money he invested, for me to be beaten by a little girl. No, he couldn’t keep on doing that. He stopped supporting me, so I had to stop karting. Because of you, my dream got destroyed."

"No one protected me on track! How many races did I not finish because some asshole couldn’t handle the fact that I was better and drove straight into me, sending me off track! No, you had the chance to beat me, but you just weren’t good enough." my voice was shaky but I stood my ground, looking at him.

"As long as you believe it. I know the truth. I lost everything. My own father was so ashamed of me that he never supported me in anything ever after. And then I had to witness how you made your way up the series. You both. But at least I knew that you weren’t ever going to make it into F1." Diaz looked at me, grinning like the devil.

"You became a journalist to get your revenge?" I asked confused and he laughed.

"No. I wanted to work in motorsports, after all it still was my biggest passion. A passion you took away from me. I studied sport journalism and during my fifth semester I made an internship at Marca and was sent to some lower Formula races. And who did I bump into out of all people at a F2 race? You. After winning Monaco in 2017. I saw how people were talking about you. How great you were. What a good race you had. I was seething. You didn’t even recognise me. I saw you after that weekend again and again. I even asked you some questions but you didn’t recognise me, how could you, always looking at your little prince with heart eyes? I remember the first time when you were asked if you were a couple and you denied it. Part of me thought you just didn’t want everyone to know, but there was this other part that knew it was because of me. Because when I asked my questions, you were so sweet and kind! Always a joke on your lips and a smile that made everyone feel special. But I knew it was only for me. You just didn’t knew it yet."

"No! It wasn’t just for you! That’s how I am! I told you in Assen! I told you that I am like this! I try to be nice to everyone! It never was just for you! I didn’t want to make you feel special!" I was getting furious, my voice almost trembling.

"Oh come on Lizzie! That little fighting back you did in Assen? Who are you kidding? It wasn’t even noticeable, otherwise guard dog Charle would’ve come down and save you, isn’t that right? You watched me kiss her and you didn’t see anything wrong about it. So you just let it be." Diaz smirked at Charles who paled a little.

"No! NO! It wasn’t like that! I saw you lean in for the kiss and then kissing her and turned away. I didn’t watch it! But I regret it! Every damn second of my life I regret that I wasn’t man enough to stay there. It was my own fault that it could get this far. Would I just have told you what I felt for you I sure as hell would’ve jumped over the banister when I saw him kissing you." Charles voice now trembling when he looked at me. I squeezed his hand a little and shook my head.

"It wasn’t your fault. Nothing of it. I could’ve told you how I felt as well but didn’t do it!"

"How you felt for him? But still you kissed me?" Diaz laughed.

"I didn’t kiss you-…" my head snapped into his direction.

"Of course you did! That first kiss! You didn’t-…"

"THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS EVER! I WAS SHELL SHOCKED! I COULDN’T MOVE! I WAS PETRIFIED! MY HEAD WAS EMPTY! AND YOU PUSHED ME AGAINST THE WALL! AGAINST MY WILL! WHEN I TRIED TO PUSH YOU OFF OF ME YOU GRINNED AND STARTED TOUCHING ME ALL OVER! I DIDN’T WANT THAT!" I screamed at him and for the first time the mad smile disappeared from his face.

"I didn’t want any of it! I never had feelings for you! I never gave you hidden signals! I never flirted with you! Nothing! You took my first kiss away from me! Forcefully! You groped me! I had bruises afterwards! And nothing of it was consensual! NOTHING!" I looked at him in disgust, tears threatening to spill, when I saw the smile coming back.

"You wished your first kiss would’ve been Charlie boy here? Too bad that he didn’t want the same… no he had his first kiss with Camille in the club… and poor Lizzie had to watch… I saw how your face fell when he kissed her. How your heart broke and I just knew that I had to make it up to you. I would’ve never hurt you like this…"

"But you did hurt me! Again and again! You never stopped hurting me!" I spat out.

"That’s your own fault! I saw you leaving, I followed you, I wanted to talk to you! But you were fucking rude, shoving me out of your way, not even saying sorry, not even acknowledging me. No. You just shoved me out of your way like I was an obstacle. An abomination. Not even when you almost tripped and fell down the stairs outside and I helped you. You brushed me off. You hissed at me to leave you the fuck alone. That was the moment I realised you’re not at all the sweet girl that I thought you were. You were a bitch. A cold hearted bitch. I wanted to follow you. I wanted to get to you. But you jumped into a taxi and left. But that was the moment I knew I had to do something. You broke my heart. Now it was my turn breaking yours!"

"And you did that. Over and over again. You did horrible things. To punish me? For not reciprocating your feelings?" I asked him and he threw his head back laughing.

"Salva! You wanted me to call Lizzie and ask her to come here and tell her how you feel and how you regret what you did! Why don’t you start-…" Dr. Martinez began but Diaz waved him off.

"I had to punish you! You played with me, tricked me into believing you had feelings for me! You were living my dream! Everyone talked about how unfair it was that someone as good as you didn’t drive in F1. I couldn’t believe my ears! But then… after your little accident I thought it was over for you. But no. Not for Lizzie Doetterer and her flock of little helpers… no, you found a way into F1. A half dead girl. No. I couldn’t let that happen. But ultimately I couldn’t change it. You made it. Audi took you in and I knew I had to do something. So I did my best to get my blog going. Get Marca and ESPN Spain to sponsor me, so that I would get paddock passes for all races. And then I started to think about how I could make your life in the paddock a living hell. I knew you always had a little problem with your short temper… so I knew I just had to tease you long enough and you would snap. Reveal to everyone how you really are. That this cute and nice and funny girl is just a facade! I wanted the cold hearted bitch that you are to come out…"

"Lizzie was never a cold hearted bitch, you hear me? She was always one of the most compassionate and empathic people I know. And the only reason you think different than anyone else is because she first beat you over and over and then later turned you down. That’s pathetic. You’re pathetic…" Charles said through gritted teeth and I could see how angry he was.

"I wouldn’t say she beat me over and over but…"

"She did! You were never in front of her in any of the races you competed against her! At least 30 to 40 times she showed you again and again that she was better than you!" Charles interrupted him, a triumphant smile on his face.

"43." Diaz spat out.

"43?" Charles asked.

"43 races…" Diaz looked at me.

"43?" I repeated and something came back to my mind "43 letters…" I whispered and Charles looked at me.

"43 letters?" he asked gently and I looked at him.

"I received some fan letters over the winter break… I received 43 from him… all saying the same…" I began and Diaz laughed.

"Happy New Year, Lizzie. 2022 was only the beginning… This year I’m coming for everything if you won’t do what I say." he repeated the words of the letter and I felt a shiver running down my spine "Everything I did had a purpose. Everything I did was connected somehow…"

"Salva, we’re really on the wrong path here… we really should end this-…" Dr. Martinez nodded to the nurse but I shook my head.

"No! I want to know what else you did. That wasn’t all, I know it. I can see it in your face, there’s more!" I said and Diaz nodded.

"So much more… I don’t even know where to start… what about how you were lying to everyone? You were denying that you were a couple all the damn time and I almost believed it. It made sense to me. But then? Cut to Melbourne. Oh boy! I was fuming when I saw you kissing. After all this time, after he broke your heart. After he hurt you so much. You still chose him? You again disappointed me beyond believe!" Salva hissed "But for some reason you kept on lying about it. Denying that you were a couple. Made us all look like fools! I needed to show the world that you’re not this nice girl they all thought you were! I saw how you shared a hotel room in Imola and Barcelona and then you stayed with him in Monaco. So I wanted to expose you in Baku, I just had to. I paid the lady at the front desk to give me your room number and then I lit up a trash can… I wanted everyone to see how you were sharing a room. How you lied to everyone! Why would he be with you and not in his hotel in the middle of the night, if you’re not a couple, right?"

"But you failed! No one saw us!" Charles said and Diaz chuckled.

"Well yeah… in Baku I failed…" he shrugged his shoulders "Not in Mexico though… getting into the medical centre was easy, again, for a certain amount of money, people would do everything. That little snippet of you and her dad…" he shook his head towards Charles "… that was just the cherry on top to cause a little more drama. I was hoping to get another one of your enemies on board, backing up the story, because boy oh boy you sure do have a long list of people who don’t like you, Lizzie. But Camille didn’t want to be part of it… I asked her again for a statement when it came to the paternity of little Liam, but damn she was tough, didn’t want anything to do with it. She said she loves seeing you suffer, but she won’t be part of it. Boring if you ask me, everything feels better, knowing that you played your part in it, ask me, I know what I’m talking about."

"Salva!" Dr. Martinez reprimanded but I held up my hand.

"No, let him talk…" I said and the doctor wiped his brows, sighing loudly.

"This was supposed to be an opportunity for Salva to show remorse, to help him in his recovery… I think it’s better if we end this." Dr. Martinez said, nodding to the nurse.

"No! Let him talk, if Lizzie wants him to continue!" Charles said and I nodded "I told you we’re here for Lizzie. She wants this, so let him talk."

"See, doc? They love my story telling!" Diaz teased.

"Please Dr. Martinez, I need to know the full story… the whole truth…" I looked at him and he nodded slowly.

"Okay…" he slowly agreed and Diaz clapped, smiling brightly at us.

"Where were we?" he asked, scratching his chin "Oh yeah. Monaco. How I loved seeing you like this. Watching you sitting all by yourself, waiting for the hometown hero. What a picture of misery…"

"I knew that someone was watching me… I felt it…" I whispered.

"I was watching you all the time. You were never alone. I was almost always around. Watching you. Studying you. Learning every little thing about you… but Monaco this year? Oh you have no ideas how much it satisfied me, seeing you like this. I could practically see how you were asking yourself it it was the right decision to not do what I wanted…" Diaz stated.

"If you studied me, learned every little thing about me, then you must’ve known that I would never do what you asked of me? I would never go through with your plan…" I began and he yet again began to laugh as if I told him the funniest joke ever.

"Oh Lizzie, come on! Use your brain? It was never about the bets. Or the money. It was about you. Destroying you and your reputation. I planted the seeds from the beginning of last season. Comments and tweets here and there about how you made it into F1 in the first place. Releasing that article about Audi‘s early entry. Provoking your little guard dog to yet again safe his damsel in distress. An article about your attitude, growing aggression. You just played right into my hands in Australia, being this furious after the race. That clip of you throwing away your helmet? Priceless. How people started to question if your facade slowly started to crumple and they get to see the real Lizzie… and now imagine you would’ve done what I asked of you? Deliberately take out Charles and you in Monaco? Secure Max’s wins? Bet on the races? That’s morally so wrong… the lack of integrity! And that all from the driver who stood out as a role model for many young girls out there?"

"But I refused to do it…" I said quietly, my mouth dry "And your punishment for me was hurting my family? Hurting Charles?"

"It didn’t matter if you would’ve agreed to do what I asked you to. The article about your sister’s baby daddy and Charles being it were both set to drop that weekend regardless. Finding her ex and making him comply was easy. Again, with the right amount of money everything is possible. It also helped that he didn’t like you. What am I saying, he hates you." he smiled like he just had told us a beautiful anecdote.

"But how? You said you lost sponsors! You said you needed the money! How did you pay the lab, Sven? Or last year, the lady in the hotel? Whoever let you in the medical centre in Mexico? How did you pay all these people if you have no money?" I was confused "If you needed to bet on races to get some money out of it?"

"Daddy dearest stopped supporting me financially because of you. But when he died I still inherited his money. So you see, I didn’t care for the bets. It’s ridiculous to bet on races. There’s not much money to win. But what would everyone think when innocent and sweet little Lizzie was seen in a betting shop? Betting on races? Races she drives in? You walked blindly into my trap, I took pictures of you going in. You even signed a receipt. The photos, a copy of the receipt along with the betting slips? How would that look in public?"

"Thats what this was all about? You thought I didn’t deserve what I achieved. You were mad that I didn’t treat you the way you think I should’ve? So you wanted to destroy my career at all costs? My-…" I began and he just shrugged his shoulders, laughing out loud.

"No… not just your career… I wanted to destroy everything. Your family. Your reputation. Your life. You." he answered simply and I closed my eyes for a second. Letting his words sink in.

"And what was your plan if you succeeded? If you ruined everything for me? If there was nothing left you could’ve taken from me?" I looked at him, my voice trembling.

"I would find another way to make you suffer even more… don’t you see? Your pain and your agony is what satiates me, what keeps me going, what-…" his voice indifferent. Face blank. Void of any emotions.

"Salva, please! If you don’t stop this… we’re ending it, then! Didn’t you want to tell Lizzie how much you regret-…" Dr. Martínez tried it again, but Diaz only shook his head.

"Regret what? That I wanted to take what was mine? No. Everything I did was justified." he said, his voice indifferent.

"Lizzie was never yours!" Charles was fuming.

"Oh yeah? She’s yours then? No. No I don’t think so! No. If I can’t have here, no one can! That’s why I waited in her apartment for her. To give her a final chance. To choose me." Diaz spat out, looking at me with a look of sheer hate.

"But that’s the thing… she didn’t choose you. You lost. Again. We walk out of here. Lizzie and I. Together. I am her’s just as much as she is mine and nothing you did in the past changed that. You failed. You’re a failure. And we are free to leave. Free to live our life’s. While you? Well…" the way Charles said it made me shiver. I never heard his voice turn so cold. He squeezed my hand and then looked at me "Ready to go?"

I nodded. I knew everything now. He told me everything that he did. And I survived. Charles was right. We would walk out here, while Diaz would stay here. We stood up, ready to leave.

"You know… there is one thing I do regret though, Dr. Martinez, you’re right…" Diaz almost whispered, looking at Charles, again his mad smile on his lips "When I had the chance to get rid of her? To end it all? I wasn’t fully determined to went through with it… because a part of me still thought that with a little time she would finally admit her feelings for me… so I hesitated… and she survived…"

"What do you mean? When you had the chance to get rid of Lizzie?" Charles voice was dangerously low, letting go of my hand.

"I told you I was everywhere. Always watching Lizzie from afar… who would ever suspect a journalist from Spain, with no connection to Lizzie at all, to drive a black Mercedes and run her over and then flee the scene… never looking ba-…" he didn’t even finish the sentence when Charles lunged at him over the table, the nurse jumping in just in time to pull Charles off of Diaz.

"I’m going to kill you, you hear me? You’re dead!" Charles screamed, fighting against the nurse who held him back as the door opened, a security guard and two nurses storming in. The security guard pulled Charles with him outside and one of the nurses guided me outside as well, at the door I turned around and looked at Diaz, again a mad smile on his face.

"Maybe I didn’t win, but at least I made your life a living hell for a while." he began to laugh, the shrill tone made my blood freeze.

As soon as I stood in the hallway and the door to Diaz’ room was closed, I sank down against the wall. Pulling my knees up to my chest. Exhaustion taking over.

"Let go of me!" Charles struggled against the tight grip the security guard had on him and as soon as he was released he kneeled down in front of me "Lizzie?" he whispered, gently cupping my cheeks, making me look at him "Hey! Cara mia, look at me!"

"It was him. He tried to kill me." my voice barely audible.

"And he will pay for it, okay? He will rot in here for the rest of his life, I’ll make sure of it." Charles sounded determined "He confessed it all. Everything he did. He will never be free."

"Can we leave?" I whispered, looking at him.

"Of course. Let’s go home."

We packed up our bags and drove to the airport, jet ready to take us back home. Away from Diaz. Away from the pain he caused. Away from all the horrible things he did. Back in Charles flat I took a shower. A long one. I sat under the spray of the shower head, feeling numb. I didn’t even react when Charles sat down behind me, pulling me into his lap.

"I thought I would feel better… " I whispered, eyes closed.

"It was a lot, he revealed more than what you’ve expected… what we expected…" Charles replied, rubbing my back.

"It was him. Everything that ever happened… it was him…"

"And he confessed it all. In front of us. The doctor. The nurse. He confessed his crimes. He will never be able to hurt you, okay? I’ll take care of it!" Charles kissed my shoulder "And now come on. Let’s get out of here… you look like a raisin." he got up and pulled me with him.

We stepped outside the shower and Charles wrapped me into a towel, kissing my nose.

"I ordered some food from Antonio’s." he said and I smiled "All your favourites."

"Thank you." I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into him.

"Everything for you." he kissed my temple "Let’s eat and watch a movie. Tomorrow we pack and then on Thursday we leave this mess behind for a while."

"What’s up?" he asked after a while of me pacing back and forth, my half packed suitcase in front of me.

"Can we- can we talk about something?" I said and he nodded, throwing his swim shorts into his suitcase.

He sat down on the bed, patting the space next to him and I took a deep breath, sitting down. I was thinking about my words, nervously fiddling with a loose thread from the blanket.

"Come one now, cara mia. What’s going on?" Charles took my hand in his and smiled at me.

"I need to ask you something. You can say no! Really! It’s just… I was wondering… do you think- umm… would it be okay for you, if I- if I move in with you? Here into your flat?" I stammered and Charles looked at me, his face showed his clear surprise.

"Move in with me? Like permanently?" he repeated and I nodded slowly.

"I can’t stand being in my flat… not anymore, not after what happened… I- I don’t feel safe anymore. He, Diaz, he defiled it. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. I don’t want to be reminded of everything that has happened in there…" I whispered, looking down.

"And you feel safe here?" Charles asked and I looked at him "We were mostly at your place after you bought it… I figured it was because here reminds you of Camille."

"I mean it does… sometimes. Not all the time. But yeah… it’s not that bad… it’s better than my place at least." I sighed.

He looked at me for a while, then grabbed his phone. He typed away, got a text back and answered. After two more texts he nodded and stood up.

"Alright. Let’s go." he held his hand out to me and I looked at him confused "Come on. Move."

"Where are we going?" I asked, letting him pull me into the hallway where he slipped into his shoes, he waved towards my shoes and I slipped them on "Charles! Where are we going!"

"You’ll see, okay?" he just said and then we left.

He didn’t say a single word the whole drive and I looked outside, not really knowing where we were. We stopped abruptly at a construction site, where a guy walked towards us and Charles rolled down his window.

"Charles? Okay. Drive all the way to the back and then turn right, again all the way to the back and then left. There you see a big C on the wall. Park there and take the doors on the right. Elevator 4." he explained and Charles nodded.

"Thanks mate." he said and drove into the underground parking garage.

"Where are we going?" I asked again as Charles followed the directions of the guy and parked the car next to the C.

"I want to show you something." he got out and I followed him "Come on."

Through the door and into elevator 4, I was still waiting for an answer when he pushed the PH button. The whole ride upstairs he didn’t say a word, just smiled at me and when the doors finally opened he took my hand, leading me outside into a hallway and then straight through a big door, right into a huge and bright entryway.

"Here’s the kitchen, it’s of course empty, we could choose our own design, but it’s a huge one as you can see. Dining room, there easily fits a table for 20 people! Imagine here a seating area, a comfy sofa right in front of the fire place. And here that would be a guest room. Look how big it is, with an en suite bathroom, all bedrooms have that. Here’s another guest room… and here another one… and that would be our bedroom. Look at the size of the closet! Look at the bathroom. It’s empty for now, but you could design it just like the kitchen, just how you like it! A huge tub, big shower, double vanity." Charles showed me through the penthouse, a big smile on his face "Let’s go upstairs… that’s the living room, we could have the biggest, most fluffiest sofa in here! And here’s the perfect place for my piano… and now let’s get out on the terrace!" he opened up the sliding doors and we stepped outside. It was huge. Almost like a backyard of a big house "Outdoor kitchen, dining table, lounge area and here we have the best part of it all…" a freaking pool. Not a huge pool, but big enough to swim around a little, cool down on hot summer days, a little pool party with friends "What do you say? Do you like it?" he looked at me with big eyes. His excitement almost bubbling over.

"Okay… this place is insane…" I said and looked around "Really insane…"

"In a good way, or a bad way?" he asked, taking my hand "It’s big. I know. But not too big. I’m just thinking… this is a place we could stay for a while… we have enough space for family and friends coming over. We have an outdoor area! A pool. It’s perfect for us…"

"It is perfect… really… but Charles, we can’t afford it? This penthouse costs at least 50 million euros? Probably even more?" I said and he chuckled.

"First of all, no, it doesn’t cost 50 million, it’s far away from that. Second of all, we’re both F1 drivers? I think we can afford it. One of the investors is an old family friend. And another investor is a sponsor of Ferrari. I’m also Monegasque so the real estate fees don’t apply to me. Which means, we can totally afford it…" he smiled.

"You mean, you can afford it? Charles I’m not earning anywhere near your salary…" I began but he shushed me.

"I don’t care. It doesn’t matter who pays for it or who pays more. This is perfect for us. I know this is a very old school and traditional and maybe even slightly sexist way of thinking, and I apologise for it straight away, you know I’m a big supporter of gender equality and feminism, but let me handle this. Let me buy this. For us. For our future. Let me take care of this…"

"I don’t know… about how much are we talking? This is a big step! It’s not just a small 2 bedroom flat like mine! No this is a 4 bedroom, duplex penthouse with terrace and a freaking pool!" I said and Charles chuckled a little.

"And 4 parking spots… I don’t have the numbers, but I let my accountant go over it all and with the, let’s call it discounts, I can definitely afford it, don’t forget that I’ll sell my flat than as well, so that generates another source of income…" he said and now I had to chuckle.

"Your accountant? You call Enzo your accountant?" I slapped his arm and he laughed.

"Yeah because at that moment he was just that, my accountant." he looked at me and I walked inside, downstairs.

"And it’s really affordable?" I asked and Charles nodded "All of the interior design is for us to decide? Floor? Walls? Tiles? Kitchen? Bathroom? Everything?"

"Everything, cara mia. You say what you want and they’ll build it exactly that way."

"When could we move in?" I looked at him.

"The construction works are done in around 3 months and then you can design the interior… and then how ever long that takes…" a smile started to spread on his face "What are you saying?"

I walked into the area that would be the kitchen and turned a little, looking over it all. In my mind I already had tons of ideas on how I wanted this place, our place, to look like. I took one deep breath and turned around, looking at Charles hopeful face.

"I guess I’ll have to sell my flat… I want to contribute at least something…" I said and he took 3 long strides, stopping in front of me, his hands on my waist.

"Are you saying what I think you’re saying?" he whispered.

"When you’re thinking that I’m saying yes, then I am saying what you’re thinking." I answered and I could see how he puzzled the answer together, a big smile spreading on his face.

"We’re buying our first flat together." he hoisted me up, spinning me around, then he sat me down and kissed me passionately, stealing every ounce of oxygen from my body. He leaned his forehead on mine and exhaled happily.

"It’s a fresh start. A fresh start in a neutral place. No old memories. Like an empty canvas…" I mumbled and Charles nodded.

"It’s our place, for us to fill with our memories together."

"This is what I needed. After everything that has happened…" I kissed him "Thank you…"

"I can’t wait for this place to be ours. Ours. Yours and mine." he smiled and I nodded a little "I love you, cara mia."

"I love you too."

Chapter 37 - The big Salva Diaz reveal… this chapter was one of the very first that I have finished when starting this fic last summer… and it’s one of my favourites! I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think about it… next up we have the well needed summer break!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

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uniquexusposts · 6 months ago

Text

Her || Charles Leclerc

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff Story type: novel Part: 10/? Word count: 2602 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 8. Call It What You Want

Matilde sat in the airport, waiting for her flight to leave. She was seated in the business class lounge, enjoying a cup of coffee. Well, she couldn't really enjoy it. The events of yesterday played through her head; from the perfect race and victory, to the moment in the restaurant. Even though it hurt, she still had a fun night with Max and her former colleagues.

"Hey," a voice said, he sounded surprised.

Matilde looked up and a smile came to her face. "Hey," she smiled at Kevin, who took a seat next to her. "Going home?"

The Danish driver nodded. "You too?"

She nodded. "It's my mum's birthday tomorrow."

"Ah, that's sweet. Congrats on your win, by the way! Your first victory as team principal and the first victory for Ferrari this year!"

A weak smile came on her face. "Thanks."

"Hangover?" The off reaction didn't go unnoticed by Kevin.

"Yeah," she breathed. "Something like that."

He smirked. "You will remember this one forever."

"And if I will," she muttered. The good and the bad, she thought. "How was your race? P11, P10?"

"P10, quite average. It was an alright weekend. The track is fun, but the entire show around it... Not a big fan, to be honest."

"Yeah, Miami is something else. I wonder what Las Vegas will be like," she mentioned.

"We are Danes, we keep it low profile."

They both laughed.

"Where are you seated?" Kevin asked.

Matilde looked at her ticket. "2A, you?"

"8H," he replied. "I don't know if it is me, but it's quite funny that in America, we get paper boarding passes, and in Europe, or flying from Europe, we have them online. Or it's me, my subconscious preference."

"No, I have it too. But I don't know. Also, when going through security here, we have to remove our shoes. I have never done that in Europe. Bizarre how many things are different between continents." She took a deep breath. "It makes travelling interesting and fun."

Matilde and Kevin made their way to the gate when it was almost time to board. They had to wait for just a few minutes, because the crew still had to arrive after a short delay on their side. Matilde's eyes fell on the crew of SAS, who now arrived. A smile came on her face, and tears flowed in her eyes. One of the stewardesses happily smiled as well and excused herself from the crew, just like one of the pilots. Matilde stepped towards the inflight manager of the flight.

"Mati," the stewardess said and embraced her daughter tightly.

Matilde closed her eyes, not saying anything back. She was so relieved and happy to see her mother after five months. More tears welled up, but she was fighting against them.

Freja pulled back, looking at her daughter. Matilde opened her eyes and took a deep breath. "Sweetheart..." Freja found herself in a difficult situation as well, trying to hold back the emotions as well. She stroked a piece of hair behind Matilde's ear and placed her hand on Matilde's cheek. "I'm so happy to see you. How are you?"

"I'm fine," Matilde whispered, not wanting to bother her mother before the flight and her job with her issues. "I'm so happy to see you, too," she said and smiled. "I didn't know you were on this flight."

"Coincidence," her mother smiled. "We will talk once we are in the air, okay?" She let go of Matilde and looked at the man who sat on the bench; she assumed it was a friend of Matilde's. "Are you flying together?"

Matilde looked behind her, at Kevin. "Yes, but we're not seated next to each other. He's a friend of Lars."

"Since when does Lars know Kevin Magnussen?"

"Lene is friends with his wife," Matilde smirked, thinking how ironic it was.

Freja looked impressed and introduced herself to the Danish driver. While they had a quick chat, Matilde greeted the pilot with a hug, happy to see him as well. The stewardess and pilot excused themselves and boarded the plane.

"Parents?" Kevin asked curiously.

Matilde nodded. "Mother and stepfather," she exclaimed. "She says it is a coincidence that she's working on this flight, but I know she planned it like this."

"Parents..." He smiled. "It's adorable." He looked at her. "This might be a personal question, and if you don't want to answer it, it's fine. But do you still see your father?" Kevin looked waitingful at her. "Lars doesn't really talk about this family, as you probably know by now."

A comforting smile came on her face. "Yeah, Lars is really private. But we all still see our dad. My parents divorced twenty-four years ago, and they're still friends. Mum met Emil through work, and they try to work on the same flights since they got together."

"Did they get together..?"

"Oh, no. A few years after the divorce."

"And your dad?" Kevin's eyes grew round. "Sorry, I'm asking way too much."

She shook her head. "It's okay, it's not like I have issues talking about it. My dad has a girlfriend, Astrid. They met two years ago. It's complicated, but it is what it is," she said and shrugged. "How are Louise and Laura, by the way? And how is the pregnancy going so far? You're having another girl, right? "

"They are both doing fine, and yes, we're having another girl." A smile came to his face as he continued to talk about his family.

* * *

Since it was a day flight, Matilde didn't manage to get any sleep. She planned to do some work on the plane, but ended up watching some movies. Her mind kept drifting off to last night. She got up from her seat and walked through the aisle, passing Kevin, who sat on the other side of the cabin. Their eyes met, he smiled, she nodded. Once she got in the galley, she waited for the bathroom.

"Mati," Matilde's mother said when entering the galley. "How is everything?" She closed the curtain.

"Fine, a whole new experience in business class," Matilde replied and playfully smiled.

"You've never flown business class at SAS?"

"No, economy is all I could pay for, and Red Bull could book for me. Now Ferrari books business class for me. Well, not this flight. I happened to get an upgrade?" She raised her eyebrows. "On this flight only? Not the first flight?"

Her mother smiled. "That is weird, lucky you."

"Mum, you didn't have to do this."

"You are the team principal of Ferrari and flying economy? A woman like you should fly business class. And it is a pleasure to have my daughter in business class on my flight," her mother proudly said and nudged Matilde's shoulder.

Whenever Matilde or her brothers were on the same flight as their mother - which wasn't often, they flew economy. And they grew up appreciating the small things, they didn't bother to fly business. Matilde wanted to ask Ferrari to book economy tickets, but she didn't dare to ask because she understood that by booking business class, she could properly rest or work during a flight. But flying business class wasn't in her nature.

"Still... This is a flight for a private event."

"Still. At least you're not flying private." Freja handed over a bottle of water. "How was yesterday?"

"Aren't you supposed to work?"

"We are mid-flight, all the passengers are served, and now we get on a break."

"Oh, yeah, that is right." Matilde took a sip of her water. "Well, go get your break. It's important."

Her mother proudly smiled. "You sound like a real boss, a caring boss."

A fragile smile came on Matilde's face. "I will tell you all about this weekend once we are home."

"Of course. Unless you want to say something now?"

"No, no, it can wait. You should take your break."

"Okay, sweetheart. By the way, are you driving home with Emil and me? After the plane lands, we have a quick debrief, and then we are free to go. It's okay if you want to go home. Are you staying at mine or your dad's?"

"It's your birthday tomorrow, so I was hoping to crash at yours?"

"Yes! Of course. You're always welcome."

"And if I can drive home with you? I think that's fun," Matilde smiled. "We're going to the same destination, after all."

Freja nodded. "I will share the plans after my break, yes? And you go to the bathroom, it's free now."

Matilde laughed. "See you soon." She stepped into the toilet and did her thing. When she stepped back into the galley, her gaze fell on Kevin. Business class was almost empty, and so was the seat next to Kevin. Without thinking too much about it, she sat down next to him; only the aisle was in between them. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

He sat up and smiled. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

She licked her lips and looked around her. "Well, uh, I don't know if you're the right person to ask this, but yeah... From my experience, we did things differently... but when you're going out after a race, celebrating a...perfect result... do you ask Steiner to join? Or other Head of Departments?"

A frown came on his forehead, and he crossed his arms. "We don't have those results often, but... Yes. Why?"

Matilde slowly nodded. "Exactly," she mumbled. She looked down and saw that her hands trembled slightly.

"Why?" Kevin asked again.

"I'm telling you this in confidence, okay?" Matilde said and looked at him.

"No one will know about it; whatever you have to say, I promise."

"No one in F1," she repeated. "I'm struggling with this thought, but...uhm, the team went out to celebrate the win and P2," she told him. Kevin nodded. "Without me." Tears filled her eyes. "And I don't know if it was their intention, like, not to invite me. As in, they didn't want to celebrate it with me. Or if this is how it goes at Ferrari."

A concerned look came on his face. "Oh, wow. Matilde..." He didn't know what to say. "Why is that your thought?"

"Things are not going smoothly with the team and me; there's still a lot of friction. And I'm still an outsider, which I get; I'm new, young, a woman, still learning to speak Italian. But this weekend... It felt like we bonded, like we finally became a team. And I was, am, still proud of this weekend with all the performances, but then I got a message from Leclerc, asking where I was at their celebration. Coincidentally, we were in the same restaurant. I was with Gemma, and we ended up at Red Bull's dinner. And then I saw the team celebrating the great results."

"But didn't they go out with the team and... I don't know, perhaps the crew only?" Kevin asked, trying to understand it and trying to soften the blow for her.

Matilde shrugged and wiped away a tear that was rolling over her cheek. "No." She looked in front of her. "Everyone was there, except me. But why would Leclerc text me, asking where I was? If it was a crew-only dinner, then why would he text me?"

He showed a weak smile. "I don't know. I'm trying to find some reasonable excuses, to make you feel less shit. You know, I know my crew often goes out as well without inviting the board." He scanned her face. "But the message from Leclerc doesn't make sense. But why were you with Gemma at the Red Bull dinner?"

"I kinda forgot," she said, more tears rolling over her cheeks. "I had so many emotions, and everyone was texting and calling me and asking me things. I asked a mechanic, and he said that they would stay in, because they all had an early flight home the next morning," she rattled. "And then Gemma showed up and asked if I wanted to join her. Next thing I know, I was doing shots with Max." She ran a hand through her hair. "I was thinking of throwing lunch or something after the days off, but I'm not too sure about it now."

Kevin nodded and took a deep breath. "This is not nothing..." He didn't want to say too much; what if he said something wrong? Or gave her an idea? "Did they see you?"

"I sent them champagne."

Kevin straightened his face. "You did what?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but what the fuck was going on? It didn't make sense. And I wanted to let them know I was there without actually standing next to their table," she blurted. When she thought about it now, it was a bold move, a dick move, but it was genius. "And I told the waiter to say that I gave them my compliments."

"Matilde..." He looked impressed and disapproved at the same time. "This is so..."

"Not me? Yes, I know. But I already had alcohol in my body, and I just... I don't know, I was so confused and disappointed. And when the waiter pointed at me... You should have been there. They looked like they had seen a ghost."

Kevin couldn't help it, but laugh. "It is such a dick move, but such a great move. You can't do this. This is not professional."

"It's not professional to invite everyone, but your team principal. And I get it; it's awkward, but I'm not awkward. Half of the team is older than me and more experienced than me. And it's not like I don't know how to function in a team." She shrugged.

"But how did things go at Red Bull?"

"We would go out for dinner first, often with Christian and the board. The team would go to a club, and Christian and the board often would go back to the hotel; sometimes, they would join. Or we would go out without Christian and the board, team only thing, but they would know. Or they declined the invitation. We were very open," she said and dried her eyes when her sight became blurry. "It was asked... And everybody had a choice. I know things work differently at Ferrari, but this was the last thing that I expected." Matilde shook her head. "We still have to bond and stuff, apparently, but I honestly thought we bonded well over this weekend, and I was just so proud to lead this team." Warm tears left her eyes again. "They didn't invite me for a reason."

"Why?"

"I don't know." She sniffled. "But it's good to know that this isn't normal. Or that this is the way Ferrari operates. The text of Leclerc still doesn't make sense."

"Well, I know that this isn't normal."

She got up. "God, I'm sorry you had to see me having a breakdown," Matilde embarrassedly laughed and dried her eyes. "It's the lack of sleep, hangover and yeah... But thanks for listening. I won't hold you up longer from whatever you wanted to do."

"Matilde, this is a serious issue. I'm not saying you have to go to the board and say something about it, but you have to talk about it. If you say nothing, they will think this is normal, and it's definitely not normal," Kevin mentioned. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly, just to let her know that he was there for her. "Let me know how it goes." He gently let go of her hand.

She nodded. "I will, thank you. Really," she said and walked away, back to her own seat.

Kevin was perplexed and processing the words he just heard. Should he do something about it? Or did her team have other intentions? Either way, he knew he had to text her brother when they landed, sharing his concern.

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