#I know people will try to argue that Rory was sheltered in a way the other three were not

[stellaluna33]

There's something about Lorelai, Luke, Rory, and Jess all having to "be the adult" as teens.

[clouditae]

First Love | 06

Yoongi x reader | 18+ | college au | tattoo artist au | angst | fluff | swearing 

Word: 1.9k

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi

Chapter Index

You stand up from your seat, packing your notebooks and textbooks into your backpack. You decided to study outside on campus, wanting to feel the slight cool breeze. Zipping your backpack close, a cup of iced coffee is placed at your table. You look up at the person who placed the coffee on the table and you realize it’s Ari. 

You sigh, “I thought I said you don’t have to get me anything.”

She gives you a small frown. “I know,” she begins, picking the cup up again and holding it out towards you, “but I feel bad that I let this happen to you. You’re my best friend, Y/N, and I’m so mad that he came to our dorm.”

“Nothing happened,” you tell her, grabbing the iced coffee from her. 

“You have a bruise,” she counters. 

“I just bruise easily,” you mumble, taking a sip of coffee. You have no idea what it is, but Ari always knows how to pick the types of foods and drinks that fit your taste buds.

“Still, he caused that bruise and it’s my fault,” she argues, following you as you make your way towards the escalator that leads down to the second bus stop heading towards your dorm. 

You ride down the escalator, Ari behind you, shaking your head. “Well thank you. I need something to wake me up.”

“Where are you headed?” Ari asks you as the two of you get off and walk past the outdoor seating area where a few students sit at the tables eating their lunch. 

“I’m going to the shelter. I have to start my project so I can still be on track with my schedule,” you answer, walking up to the huge bus stop where a bus just took off. Thankfully it isn’t your bus. 

"Do you need a ride?"

"It's a twenty minute walk. I'll be fine."

"It's already late in the day. By the time you get out, the sun will be gone and you'll be walking back at night and that's dangerous," Ari comments, following you as the bus pulls forward and opens the doors. The two of you enter the bus, pressing your passes against the scanner before taking a seat closer to the middle of the bus. “At least let me pick you up from the shelter so you don’t have to walk. We can grab dinner and see a movie,” she bribes, clutching your arm as if you’re her boyfriend. 

“Fine,” you groan as the doors close and the bus takes its leave from the stop. And so for the rest of the ride to your dorms, you listen to Ari talk about her three day vacation with Hoseok. She’ll explain specific parts in more detail when the two of you are alone, and you’re not looking forward to it. 

After reaching your dorm and replacing your backpack with a bag holding a camera, pens and notebook, you grab your keys and earphones before heading out. “Call me when you’re ready!” Ari calls before the door closes behind you. 

Putting your earphones in, you walk past a group of friends as they walk up the stairs, forming a line so you can walk down. You can hear their laughs even over your music. Out the front doors, past the large group of people leaving the shuttle, you reach the sidewalk and make you way up towards the shelter. 

Five minutes into your walk, a figure appears next to you, walking beside you. You jump, one hand clutching your bag and the other over your chest. Yoongi doesn’t glance at you as he keeps up with your pace. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask him, rubbing your chest as if it will calm your racing heart. 

“Where are you going?” he counters, ignoring you completely. 

“I’m going to the animal shelter. Are you heading in this direction too?” you question, removing your earphones and placing them in your pocket.

“Did you forget?” He shoves his hands in his pockets, glancing at you briefly. 

“Forget what?” You think back to all your previous conversations, but nothing comes to mind that would relate to today. 

He sighs, “In order for me to help you find someone, I need to know what you’re like. Which means I have to actually see what you’re like. Which means you’re supposed to tell me when you’re going to do something.” 

You’re taken aback. “It’s just for a project,” you mumble. 

“A project shows how dedicated you are to school.” 

You look away, voice barely a whisper. “That’s a dumb reason.”

“What’d you say?” Yoongi questions.

“I-I said we’re here,” you stutter, pointing ahead to the shelter that is coming into view. You glance at Yoongi to see if he believes you, but with such a straight face, you can’t tell whether he believes you or not, or what he’s even thinking. 

The two of you walk up to the doors of the shelter, pictures of cats and dogs plastered on the windows as you get closer. When you enter the building, you’re met with the sounds of barking as someone enters the back room where all the dogs would be. The lobby is rather small, chairs to the right along the window, and tables full of blankets, pet toys and food to the left. Ahead of you is a long desk where three women sit; one on the phone, and two talking to one another. 

One of the women talking turns to look at you, a smile on her face as she asks, “Can I help you?”

You walk up to the desk. “I called about a week ago. I’m doing a project on sheltered animals.”

Her eyes light up in realization. “Oh, you must be Y/N.” You nod in relief, glad that they remembered your call. “You came just in time. Rory just finished his shift, so he’ll be able to tell you about some of the animals.”

“Perfect. Thank you,” you say, watching her as she picks up the phone to most likely call this Rory person. You take a seat at one of the chairs, forgetting Yoongi came with you until he takes a seat next to you. You try your best not to jump in surprise. So, as the two of you wait, you open your bag and do a double check to make sure you have everything you need. As you pull out your recorder, you hand it to Yoongi. He takes it in confusion. “Since you’re here, you can record the conversation while I take pictures.” 

“Y/N?” a voice calls out. You look towards the desk where a man stands. He’s an older gentleman, brown hair slowly turning gray, a blue shirt with the shelter's name on it, and black jeans. He smiles at you as you get to your feet. “Welcome. I’m Rory. We spoke on the phone last week?”

You shake his hand. “Yeah. Nice to meet you.” You gesture to Yoongi when Rory looks to him. “This is my partner. He’ll be recording the conversation if that’s all right.”

“Of course!” Rory chuckles, shaking Yoongi’s hand as well. “So I have a few pets all ready for us. If you’ll just follow me.” You follow Rory as the three of you walk back outside and around the building. “We will first go to the play area for the dogs and after that, we head towards the cats,” he informs as he opens the gate to an open area. 

You place your bag down and grab your camera, making sure everything is perfect just as a door opens and a puppy comes running out. You can’t help but gasp at the small golden colored pup. You’re so lost in how cute the puppy is, you forget the whole point in coming. It isn’t until you feel Yoongi nudge you, that you set your mind back to the main task. “Can you begin recording please?”

You take all sorts of pictures. Pictures of Charlie jumping, running around, licking Rory’s hand. You want to get every picture possible, and this continues with Rosie, the adult dog that comes next. She’s a happy dog—probably happy to see people and to socialize, but a very happy dog nonetheless. She follows commands and loves to play fetch. Then comes Jasper, the elder dog. He’s calm and not as energetic. Your heart sinks at the fact that he is still here. 

“Jasper was given to us when his owners moved countries. They couldn’t bring him with them. He’s trained and deaf, so using sign language is how you get him to sit and lay down,” Rory informs as Jasper walks over to Yoongi, who was sitting on the floor with the rest of you. You watch as Jasper lays down, resting his head on Yoongi’s lap. You pretend not to notice as you listen to Rory explain Jaspers situation. 

Eventually, you can’t help but turn your camera towards Yoongi. His attention is focused on Jasper fast asleep. He’s petting Jasper’s head, every now and then rubbing his ear. You take one picture and Yoongi’s attention is now on you. “I’ll crop you out,” you quickly explain, taking more pictures. 

You’ve never seen Yoongi act so… soft around anyone before. The way he looks at Jasper makes your heart race. He doesn’t have this straight face he always carries. He looks at Jasper like he loves him as his own pet. 

As the interview continues on, you move inside to where the cats are. You take many pictures of the cats walking around, playing with toys and sleeping. You can’t help but compare cats to Yoongi. They do what they want, and don't care what you say about it. You almost giggle at the thought of Yoongi being a cat asking for attention. 

By the time you’re done with the interviews, it’s already past seven. You pack up your stuff, thank Rory and everyone else, and head outside. The cool breeze hits you lightly as you step out with Yoongi. It seems it got colder since the last time you were outside.

“Thank you,” you begin, adjusting the strap to your bag, “for recording the conversation, and even asking more questions.” You feel embarrassed when you blank out on what questions to ask during the interview. Turns out you forgot your list of questions you had prepared for the interview. 

“Well what a coincidence,” a familiar voice booms. Turning your head, you see Hoseok and Ari standing by Hoseok’s car. “What are you two doing here?” he asks, clearly knowing what you’re doing here. Ari’s giving you a mischievous look. You look away, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. 

“Work,” Yoongi replies bluntly. 

“Well since we’re all here, I’m getting hungry. How about we go out and eat? The four best friends,” Hoseok beams, getting straight to the point. 

“I’m good,” Yoongi says, but Hoseok doesn’t seem to hear him as he grabs Yoongi by the arm and practically drags him towards his car all while Yoongi lets out quiet complaints.

“Y/N, front and center!” Ari commands, causing you to jump and quickly walk up to her. She points to the back seat. “In.” 

You get in without uttering a complaint or questioning her. Yoongi is pushed into the seat next to you, not even complaining anymore. 

What just happened?

[mailorderfictionalcharacter]

I actually wanna thank you for your text post about the weird trend (that is still very much ongoing) about writing articles or talking about Rory as a product of how she was raised or her privilege. Tbh I never really took any of those arguments or even people saying that Logan somehow "taught her about her privilege" seriously because even after their argument over the article, this never happens? And frankly he was more angry with her over the fact that she criticized people that he considers similar to himself, I highly doubt that if Rory was a lower-middle class person on a scholarship to Yale that he even would've extended any support or interest in the article beyond being angry over it in general. Anyway, I think viewers give the show way too much credit sometimes in how it deals with class differences because the truth is it never really does. It never brings up class differences as a topic in Rory's relationships with Dean and Jess or even with Logan, since yeah, Rory does have rich grandparents, but she never lives the rich life the way he does, and you could even argue she's less sheltered than he is since given her and Lorelai's history, as you mentioned they pretty much went through three social classes in different times. The most she does live it is in about 3 months in that period in season 6 when she took a break, and like you mentioned, she never treats it as a fully conscious "I'll be a rich person doing rich people things now", it's literally just her taking up anything because she doesn't know what to to with herself. And aside from having her tuition fees being paid for firstly by her grandparents and then by her father later on, we never really see either of those people have to pull strings in order for Rory to get a job. Sure, her grandparents WANT her to meet people and make connections, but this is never really brought forth as a reason for Rory to like, get a big job she wanted at the New York Times or anything of the sort. And yeah, Rory gets into Yale pretty much because of her grandfather's connections, but even this is never framed in a way that is conscious of how even with the Chilton education and her hard work, you'd need a connection to get into such a prestigious and pretty exclusive Ive League. It's pretty much the same situation in the revival as well, people immediately guessed that she MUST HAVE spent through her allowance left for her by her grandparents, but we literally never see that happen? I believe that even when the head writer was asked as to how Rory was able to fly so frequently between London and Connecticut, her response was "she has a lot of flyer miles saved up". And considering how these writers went back and forth between "Luke has a LOT of money" to "Luke can't even afford a car", they obviously sooner forgot about Rory having a large sum of money prepared for her by her grandparents than make some very Deep message that Rory actually spent all of it because she's a spoiled rich brat or something. In general the show would always bring up class differences as a way to insert relationship drama, and this isn't even framed as a "you have more money than me" scenario, it's often instigated by the grandparents and it's always based around the idea of someone being lesser just because they're not rich, but just as this is quickly inserted is this taken away because the drama has ran it's course now, we don't need any more of it, bye. So yeah, that's my two cents on the matter.

I feel like the way people argue over Gilmore Girls or make jokes about how Lorelai is actually very spoiled because "ugh its just dinner with her family she's asking for all this money and can't even sit through that", or just the general way in which a LOT of people seem to love viewing Rory (which I chalk partly up to them just being desperate to follow this ongoing trend now where we all 'consciously' reassess media we used to love when we were younger and its actually horrible and all these characters that we liked turned into terrible people with bad politics because Subversiveness or whatever. And its not to say that Rory is only ever perfect because she isn't, her story just isn't about a kid turning evil) is a combination of today's times where we're obviously a lot more aware of certain issues and topics than most people used to be 20 years ago, but it's also this weird trend where we have to bash everything that doesn't remotely uphold these bizarre standards that aren't even set right. Yes, Gilmore Girls isn't perfect by far, but 20 years ago it was significant because it featured a cast of women that were in the forefront. Obviously its a product of its own time as everything else is, but it's also pretty unchangeable and even the revival made it clear that the material has just aged and more or less belongs in its own time. And that doesn't mean it's exempt from being criticized, but even it's own awareness of its characters is pretty limited based off of when it aired and was created.

Like.. also thank you very much for sharing this moment of taking Gilmore Girls seriously with me. 

In response to:

I feel like the way people argue over Gilmore Girls or make jokes about how Lorelai is actually very spoiled because "ugh its just dinner with her family she's asking for all this money and can't even sit through that"

Honestly there seemed to be a somewhat emotionally abusive element to the Emily-Lorelai relationship. Like, not the type where someone is consciously manipulative or disregards their child’s feelings on purpose, but the type where you try to raise a kid to live a good life without ever reassessing or allowing your child to have agency in deciding what their good life should look like. 

For example, I’m thinking about Lorelai’s parent’s trying to force her to marry Christopher but also the little things we’ve seen in flashbacks. Like, the scene where she doesn’t fit her dress because of her secret teen pregnancy and when Emily notices Emily is very critical and tells her to run around the block (because oh, the horror of gaining ~5 pounds and not fitting a dress). 

**

Gilmore Girls isn’t the Perfect Text but it holds a special place in my heart for showing a multigenerational complicated family dynamic. In my own life, my family is complicated with generations of trauma, social norms, discomforts, and what have you regularly clashing and Gilmore Girls will always hold a special place in my heart for embracing messy family dynamics instead of creating sanitized characters. 

[whathebash]

⌠ BOOBOO STEWART, TWENTY-THREE, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SEBASTIAN “BASH” STEWART! according to their records, they’re a SECOND��year, specializing in KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING + MEDICAL TRAINING; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (messy manbun, lips pressed together tightly, head stuck in a thick book). when it’s the (cancer)’s birthday on 6/30/1997, they always request their VEGAN CHEESESTEAK from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

NAME: James Belikov Sebastian Stewart

KNOWN AS: Bash

BIRTHDATE:  June 30, 1997

ASTROLOGY:  Cancer sun / Taurus moon / Aquarius rising

HOMETOWN: Fredonia, AZ

RESIDENCE: Roseville, VA  ( Gallagher Academy )

GENDER:  Cis male  ( he/him )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  Bisexual

HEIGHT:  5'8"

HAIR COLOR:  Dark brown

EYE COLOR:  Dark brown

TATTOOS:  coordinates of Munich  ( where his parents had been killed ) on the inside of his right arm,  a paw print on the bottom of his arm/shoulder, a Japanese quote on his side, an eagle on his back between his shoulder blades, a band around his left arm

KNOWN LANGUAGES:  English, Russian, Japanese, Spanish, & some German, French, Italian

IMMEDIATE FAMILY:

Vladislav Belikov:  Father, Blackthorne alum and former Brotherhood member turned spy for hire, deceased

Rosemarie Belikov:  Mother, spy for hire, deceased  

Aurora Belikov Spencer Stewart:  Younger sister, second year at Gallagher Academy  

Clarissa Belikov Summer Stewart:  Younger cousin sister, second year at Gallagher Academy

BACKGROUND.

Sebastian Stewart was born James Belikov, the eldest son of two spies whose world-renowned families had been in the business for generations. Him and his sister Aurora lived fairly sheltered on their Arizona ranch for the first few years of their life, cut off from civilization, with only their parent's visiting friends as rare guests. From a young age they both were groomed by their parents to be the absolute best, and nothing less. Jay Belikov grew up with a gun in his hand before he learned how to ride a bike, and instead of receiving a car for his sixteenth birthday, his parents let him and his sister join them on professional missions.

Even before they were old enough to assist on missions, the Belikovs often let their son and daughter travel along with them to wherever the mission was, only staying back in Arizona when the stakes were too high. They had never known spy prep schools or universities like Gallagher or Blackthorne existed until their family friends began enrolling, and the news trickled down to them.  Their parents had always been very adamant that the schools were useless, and the best training they could receive was by their sides, where they were treated like professionals. It was a position most budding spies would kill for.  

From a young age, he had always hated the spy life. Part of it stemmed from the fact that he was never given a choice in what he wanted to do with life;  his parents were world-renowned spies, like their parents, and their children would be the same.  Him and his sister had grown up where failure was not an option, nor was arguing.  His parents, though both kind and caring in their own way, made it clear that if they wanted out of the spy life, that meant losing them for good. And while he didn't always agree with them, family was EVERYTHING to him. So he learned to push down his own feelings and keep on trekking, for the sake of his family.  

In May, his parents had been on a mission when he and his sister were given word that they had been killed on the job, and were immediately sent into witness protection.  It wasn't until being contained that they learned a little more :   their deaths hadn't had anything to do with their most recent job, but likely due to a previous one that James, Clarissa and Rory potentially participated in.  Being placed in witness protection was for their safety,  and with it came new identities. Sebastian -- who insisted on going by Bash -- was devastated and in shock, but he had hoped that maybe this would mean a reason to be pushed into the normal world, one where he could leave the spy world for good. Instead, him, Aurora  ( now Spencer )  and Clarissa  ( now Summer )  were detained at a facility for six months, where they were unable to see any friends or family, have contact with the outside world, or do anything that could be considered a security breach before being sent to Gallagher Academy. 

GALLAGHER ACADEMY.

Bash and his sisters joined Gallagher Academy halfway through the fall semester, thrown into majors they didn't pick and classes that had already finished midterms. For a boy who had never been to an organized school before, to say it had been culture shock would be an understatement.  However, it turned out that school was actually… something he liked ?   Not the classrooms and curriculum themselves, but being in a place with other people his age, all with similar backgrounds as him, and -- even better -- ones with different backgrounds.  Though he's met quite a few spy families through his parents, seeing them had always been few and far between, making it a very alienating lifestyle.  It was nice to be around people his own age, and though shy, Bash had been able to make friends and start a life for himself.

At the beginning of the new year, Bash had been able to change one of his majors from combat to medical training, an area that's always interested him from a young age   ( unfortunately, he was probably the only boy in America who had parents who didn't want him to be a doctor ) .  He also entered a relationship -- his first ever -- with a girl he had been penpals with when he was younger.  Of course, he couldn't tell her that he was her old friend Jay, though the truth always finds a way of coming out.  She learned the truth on the night of the Valentine's Day party, causing a rift between them right in time for the three day school-wide lockdown and murder of his very own roommate. Eventually they reconciled and he told her the whole truth, and she became one of two people outside him and Spencer who knew the truth about his identity.   

That wasn't the only twist in the semester, unfortunately.  A few months later, an email blast was sent around with names of previous members of the Brotherhood, a terrorist organization that had targeted Gallagher once before, and had now returned.  Bash's father had been on that list.  This was all news to him, who had never thought his father had anything to do with spy schools, based on how he had been raised.  With his Uncle Jack  ( not related, just a close family friend )   at Gallagher as one of the alumni mentors, he had been able to learn the truth :   his father had actually attended Blackthorne Institute. Once that bubble had been popped, Bash slowly began to see his parents in a new light.

After a particularly challenging semester, Bash had been happy to get invited to Berlin for a summer internship -- not because of the experience, but because he and Spencer still had no home to return to while school was out.  They've officially been in witness protection for a year, and as far as they were aware, no strides had been made in their parent's case, so they decided to take matters into their own hands.  Bash asks his encryption major girlfriend to look into the deaths of his parents, and from hacking into the German Intelligence's system, she was able to find that they had been killed in Munich, at the hands of an assassin -- and Bash's roommate's father. 

So the hunt to learn more about their deaths and the potential danger he and Spencer are in continues, all while Bash is beginning to get blackmailed by an anonymous source that knows about him and his sister's past... and threaten to expose it.  He hasn't told anybody about it, not wanting to worry them, but with so many moving parts going on in his life -- as well as an unknown future -- Bash is beginning to lose control.

PERSONALITY.

Bash is a quiet kid, not one to say much. After being homeschooled his entire life and being surrounded by nobody but his family, he’s pretty socially awkward around strangers and new people. His way of getting around it is keeping his head down and trying not to make waves, which is exactly what he does at Gallagher, though he has since found himself with more friends than he ever thought possible.

He had been raised not as an individual, but as one cog in the machine, and he always considered himself as such. His own individuality and thoughts and feelings had never really been something Bash had to take into consideration, so he's still really trying to figure out who he wants to be. Above all, he wants to get out of the spy world, but even with his parents being gone, he's afraid of ruining their legacy and losing his sister in the process. Now that his parents are gone, he wants more than ever than to make them proud. 

Bash is very non-confrontational and passive, a textbook people pleaser. You could pour soup into his lap and he'd apologize. He's a great friend, and an amazing listener  ( the type to actually remember when you tell him things ) ,  but as a conversationalist ?  He could be better.

MORE INFORMATION / HEADCANONS.

He's fluent in Russian because it's his father's native language, and knows Japanese because of his mother.

Bash is fiercely protective of his little sister Spencer, even though he knows she can take care of herself. 

Of all the different lessons and skills his parents had taught him, Bash has always been best at hand-to-hand combat, excelling above most men his age.  There's rarely a fight that he'll lose -- it's one of the reason he switched out of combat major to something different, because he didn't love the attention that came with it. He rarely fights or works on his combat skills, though he's always willing to help a friend out who needs it.  He's a great tutor.

What he's not good at is anything that involves cracking a textbook. Bash is an undiagnosed dyslexic, so reading and writing has never been his strong suit.  Luckily, when you're homeschooled by crazy spy parents, it's not really a skill that's needed.

For his most recent birthday, his Uncle Jack had gifted him a fishing boat that he had previously owned, named after James himself. Don't ask me where it is right now because I have no idea.

He's been a vegan since he was sixteen. His mother had been a vegan for as long as he could remember, so even before he fully made the change, it was often all he ate. Bash was a total mama's boy, as if that's any surprise.

CURRENT & WANTED CONNECTIONS HERE.

[melonoverlord]

the new asks for Cecily

 Which parent do they look the most like?

Although she and Micah are generally broader than her very slender fae family, she looks a lot like her mom, which as a child she liked because she wanted to be like her mom but as she’s growing up, she doesn’t like that she has such a big tie to her mom.

Is there a name they were almost given (either by their parents or during character creation)?

Micah and Cecily’s generation was the first to outgrow more older and traditional fae names, but before she was born, there was talks of having her being named Dafne. Luckily Fina did do a brief consultation with her five year old son, and he said he liked the name Cecily. And thus the name of Micah’s favorite person was born.

What were they like as a kid (if they’re currently a child, what would they be like as a teen)?

Cecily’s currently just a leetle gorl, but when she’s older she’s going to be the most badass teen out there. Her anxiety of childhood and the pressure of being the best will still be lingering, which she will need lots of reassurance from her friends, but she will be very ripped and ready to defend her friends with her big heart, big muscles, and big sword. She will also be the very very annoyingly in love girl who can’t get any work done because she’s just fawning over her boy.

What’s their drinking tolerance and what kind of drunk are they?

She only drinks wine at home right now, but when she’s older and starts drinking, she’s going to have an impeccable tolerance. She’ll even be able to outdrink her brother, even if it’s just for the spite.

Where do they like to be touched?

whispers It’s about the hands. Cecily has a lot of her emotional control tied to her hands, which is why when someone holds her hand, she feels a lot safer when she has someone to hold her hand. But when she’s older, she will like when people touch her very strong barbarian muscles.

What’s their favorite position (top/bottom/switch/pillow princess/etc.)

When she’s older, she’s definitely more of a top switch, as she loves taking care of Rory the way that he has taken care of her over the years. But sometimes when older Rory is just a fucking swoon machine, her more bottom tendencies come out and she just wants him to take care of her the best way he knows how (answer: it’s many many kisses).

What are their kinks?

Girl would definitely be into roleplay but takes it very very seriously. What started as a “Queen has an affair with her bodyguard” now is several nights long of on the run from the evil spy organization who wants to kidnap the queen and sell her secrets, and the bodyguard got his powers from a super soldier program and they’re both learning to love. They have to actively remember that it is supposed to lead to sex. Also Robin Hood!Rory? Hoo boy.

As for other kinks, she would never bring it up to Rory but she would lowkey vibe with bondage on his end. She for reasons wouldn’t ever want to be tied up or have her sense deprived, but being a sweet caring dom while her boy is tied up or blindfolded? She could vibe with that.

How do they feel about adrenaline (roller coasters, extreme sports, etc.)?

Ce aint one to half ass shit. The first time this girl goes to an amusement park, you have to argue with her to put her safety harness on during rollercoaster because she just wants to nyoom. Part of the reason she will start the softball team is to feel the thrill of running very fast and hitting things with a bat.

What is their fight or flight response?

Any problem that can’t be stabbed is a problem that can’t be solved. However, if the danger is revolving around an authority figure who she wants to like her, she will slide into the fawn method, where she does whatever she can to make sure she doesn’t get hurt or have other people get hurt.

What’s their pain tolerance?

Cecily is a very strong girl and can take many many hits before getting knocked down for good, and tends to get rather excited when she’s hit? For her, pain is something that grounds her because if she’s thinking about getting hit, she doesn’t have to think about anything else. However, if she gets a paper cut she will cry for twenty minutes.

What character archetype are they the most like (the Innocent, the Hero, etc.)

Although she’s the youngest of the squad (or at least the Player Characters) she fits more of the Hero than any of the other archetypes. Part of it comes with being a protector at heart, but she wants to prove her worth and travel the world and is extremely courageous especially for a sheltered ten year old child who had her first brushes with murders.

What TV-Tropes trope would they be?

Pint-Sized Powerhouse. Although starting second year, Ce starts hitting a growth spurt, she begins at the second shortest of the main squad at 4′10 but I think she has the most max HP due to being a barbarian and she is built like a baby tank. She is chonky and adorable.

What John Mulaney quote/bit do they most embody?

“No one cared about my opinion when I was a little kid. No one cared what I thought. Sometimes, people would say, ‘What do you think you’re doing?” But that just meant ‘Stop.’ They didn’t actually wanna know my thought process. They didn’t want me to be like, ‘Well, I was gonna put this bottle rocket into this carton of eggs, so that when I lit off the bottle rocket, the eggs would explode everywhere.’ ‘Oh, well, that’s very interesting. And what brought you to this experiment?” ‘Oh, well, thank you for asking. Well… you know how I’m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time… and I have no outlet for it. So… eggs.’“

With the exception of love interests and immediate family, who are they closest to?

Given that Rory will become a love interest and she sees Dahlia as a mother figure, Ciara hands down. She would die for her spunky best friend.

What is their moral alignment? What would have to happen for it to shift?

Cecily started as Chaotic Neutral, but with every day with her new set of family and friends, she is quickly sliding up to Chaotic Good. Although she acts more like a Chaotic Good, she still has some of that neutral as her motivation for doing good deeds is still purely for the love and attention of those she views as authority figures. The only thing that could fully slide her to the evil category is if she just didn’t think there was a way to please anyone or get any appreciation, so she just immediately fends for herself to get people away from her.

Are they a morning person? What are they like before 8am?

She’s a little loopy early in the morning because she needs lots of rest in order to replenish all the energy she needs for her muscles, so if she gets up too early, she won’t get out of that head fog until she has a good breakfast. Don’t try to talk to her before she has coffee, she will process exactly none of the information you give her.

What are they like when they’re tired?

Cecily gets very jittery when she’s tired and is a lot more prone to emotions. The first sign that she needs sleep is she’ll start shivering even in the middle of summer and it feels like her skin in crawling. She will absolutely need to take a nap immediately or she will feel feverish for the rest of the day.

What are they like in arguments?

It really depends what’s she’s arguing for and against. If it’s either a stupid argument or for something she cares about strongly (such as taking care of Micah or being let in on a detective mission) she will talk until her face turns blue until she gets her way, but if it’s against an authority figure like her mom or grandparents, or someone she respects like Dahlia, she will give her side timidly once and then try to find the best compromise that really is Cecily agreeing with the authority figure to avoid getting in trouble.

What is their dominant hand?

Left

Out of 10, how happy are they? How happy do they think they are?

Cecily always thought she was 10/10 because she was the best and if you were the best you are always happy, but she is quickly learning that she is neither the best (and is still coming to terms that maybe no one is the best) nor is she obligated to be the best. So she’s still at about an 8/10 but she’s wondering how long that happiness will stay.

[stardustandheart]

GRADUATING COLLEGE

[personal]

‘What she tackles, she conquers.’

-Richard Gilmore,  Gilmore Girls, Season 6, Episode 5

wow. it's been a while. hello, my lovelies. i'm back. life is crazy.

this is me. i graduated college. yep, nbd. oh, and i LOVE Gilmore Girls.

i can't believe it. i can't believe I'm done. your girl got a Bachelor's Degree in 3 and a half years baby! just how she planned it. i get shit done because i'm a boss!

it's just crazy. it feels surreal. just like that- it’s all over. as all of my friends are getting ready to go back to class, i feel like i too should be getting ready for classes, but instead i am sitting here in awe (still) at the fact that i am done and ready to start my future as a complete adult living on my own and working!

yes, working. because I got a job. and i couldn't be happier. because, not only did i just get a job fresh out of college, but i got my DREAM job with a GREAT company. in just 3 days, i will set off to Phoenix, Arizona to begin my adventure of becoming a flight attendant, something that i knew i wanted to do since i was 5 years old. it's all happening.

okay, that's it. that was my moment to brag. but no more.

lemme tell you something. a lot, and i mean, A LOT, can happen in 3 and a half years. 3 and a half years is a long time. and whoa, i am completely different than i was back then. lemme tell you that straight up.

college is...awesome. and i don't mean awesome in the way that that word is commonly used (like "cool"). i mean awesome as in full of awe. 

it's a crazy concept, right? at the age of 18, many of us go off to a new school (often in a new city/place) to study for at least 4 years. but, if you think that getting an education/getting a degree is the main point of college, you are wrong.

think about it. we are basically thrown out there into the big, big world, after being sheltered all of our lives. it's like a survival game. it's literally a real-life survival game. and that's exactly what it felt like for me. when i first started college, everything felt so big and scary...but...it soon became comfortable.

i would argue that college is THE most important phase in someone's life. it is where we uncover the completely different side to us that we have had covered all of our lives. the freedom to be on our own enables us to think for ourselves and to make our own choices. it is where we do THE most learning. mistake after mistake, we eventually learn and we come to our own definitions of the meaning of life and what our own personal missions are in this lifetime. it is where our core values, beliefs, and perspectives are redefined and where we make the friendships that will last forever. the most beautiful thing of all? we create our own reality of the world in which we live in.

college is a beautiful time. whether you agree or not, it is what it is. and, it's beautiful. it's beautiful because it made you who you are. but, unlike everything else that happens in your life that makes you "who you are," college is special because of one thing: freedom. the freedom to look around you, the people, the places, the activities, and to think, "this is my life to make. i can take what i want here, take some over there, and i can combine it in my own beautiful way."

you feel me?

what i mean to say is, throughout my college experience, i loved the fact that i could just look around and think my own thoughts and make my very own choices, without anybody to tell me how to do anything. it was...exhilarating.

i loved college. every minute of it. even though a lot of it was really shitty. the reason i say i loved it all is because it was all just a part of my growth process.

i was fortunate enough to attend a beautiful campus that i seriously adored. i loved my environment. although i wasn't necessarily ecstatic about the energy and the vibes coming off of people around me a lot of the time, i created a beautiful aura for myself that i loved. it was like this beautiful personal little bubble around me that came with me everywhere i went. i created my own reality. life is what you make it.

i started watching the gilmore girls series on Netflix in the Fall of 2014 (the semester i began college), and was still watching it up until my last semester, this spring. no, i wasn't still trying to finish it, i had been re-watching the entire series for a second time. and, it's a lot. 7 seasons. episodes are 40 minutes each. why? because i love it and i'm obsessed. that's why, uhm duh. if you've never seen Gilmore Girls, you cray. no, i'm just kidding, but seriously. watch it. i absolutely adore this show and every time i even close my eyes to think about it, so many feelings of warmth and happiness come because i also associate it with my love, Chris, as we started talking and getting to know each other at the time. for me, Gilmore Girls is more than just a Netflix show. i lived vicariously through those girls, and i loved it. it is sweet, homey, and funny. there's romance too. i love it. there is nothing but positivity and love when i think about what that show means to me. it was a lifestyle, not just a TV show.

this quote means a lot to me, as it involves words that apply to my own self. i am an overachiever, i always do my best to go above and beyond when i am placed in a situation where i am given the opportunity to do so. that is my nature, and i am similar to Rory (who is one of the characters in the show) in that manner. going above and beyond is the only way in which you will get noticed. stand out. you'll see why in the future. and, you will thank yourself for it.

so, what did i do in college? besides party? haha, no seriously. i mean, we do go to college to study a degree of interest. as for me, i decided to pursue a Bachelor's in Communication with a concentration in Communication Studies and a Music Minor in Voice, so i could keep music under my belt.

i fell in love with my major. contrary to popular thought, the field of communication is a very fascinating one and opens the door to many careers. since i am a strong believer of communication being one of the most powerful forces in our known universe, i advocate strongly for the field and i defend it passionately. i absolutely loved going to class and learning more and more about this art every single day that i attended class. the choosing of this major (as well as the combination of my majors) did not come easy, however. a lot of discernment went into my decision. and when it felt right (you just know), was when i made my decision and made it official on paper.

i met my sweetheart, my love, Christopher, in college. we've been together for 3 years now. so. crazy. that in itself is a great plus about my own college experience. it may be the same case for some of you as well, and well, you know exactly what i'm talking about.

there are those college graduates who were involved in a hundred different clubs and organizations, sororities/fraternities, and such. there are those who got to do more fun stuff, like going on a cruise or traveling outside of the country. then, there are those who had it even "worse" than i did. i put that word in quotes because everything, and i mean everything in life is all about perspective. from the outside, people can judge somebody's college experience and say it was "bad," but to that college graduate, it might have been the best time of their lives. or, if it wasn't, they have learned to accept that they still wouldn't trade it for anything because it was all a part of their story. they trusted the process. sure, i could have had a "better" college journey (call it what you will). i could've traveled more, gotten a nice, new car, etc... but, i wouldn't trade my experience for anything in the whole world. why? because it was mine, all to call my very own and nobody else's.

SO. my overall message to you beautiful souls today?

freedom. seek it. be HUNGRY for it. go get it.

create you own unique aura. make it beautiful, please.

always go above and beyond. be the fruit loop in the bowl of cheerios.

love everything.

trust the process.

life is what you make it. make it great.

XOXO- jami

[klbwriting]

Melting Point

Stealing is Wrong

Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow

Pairing: Mick x female!Reader

Warnings: some violence

Summary: Y/N thought her mother was crazy when she told her that her father was a time traveler, but all that changed the day she was turned into a metal manipulating meta, her father returned with an army of robots, and she was saved by the Legends.  After that she works with the Legends to help save time and discover why her father is trying to kidnap her and also figure out her feelings for the heat gun wielding Mick Rory, who is just as confused by his feelings for her.

Note: Well, here we go kids, another series because I love to torture myself and because I have seven chapters already with more after that.  This story in my mind is about an OC but I have made it reader insert on Tumblr and my Ao3.  I do give a description of her hair to justify Mick’s nickname for her but that is all.  I hope you enjoy the absolute fluff-fest this will be!

Tag List: @myregardstothereader @downsideright @may-we-fangirl-again (thanks for listening to me ramble and helping with ideas loves! I hope you like it!)

Y/N Y/L/N had grown up knowing two things: she had nothing of her father except a photograph of him and her mother was probably a little bit insane.  When she was little Y/N liked hearing stories about her time traveling father, the secret man from the future, but as time went on she came to understand her dad was just some deadbeat who had left her with nothing but a photo.  She tried to tell her mother this, let her know she understood why she made up the stories but to no avail, she stuck to the story of the time traveler and soon Y/N gave up arguing about it.  It wasn’t until the particle accelerator exploded that she even considered something like time travel and impossible miracles could happen.              

She had just gotten a job doing overnight metal sorting at the recycling center in Central City and it was her first night alone in the metallic area of the factory, doing the last of the work required for the morning shift.  She had been doing well so far but accidentally tossed a tin can into the aluminum bin and had to dig it out.  She went to the bin and dove in with both hands, pushing aluminum pieces aside, being careful to not cut herself on the metal.  She had just grabbed the can, nearly shoulder deep in the debris when she was hit with something and thrown backward, the bins going with her, burying her in metals and scratching her body all over.  She pushed aside the pieces and stood, wincing as she noticed a particularly large gash on her leg.

She stumbled a little as she headed into the offices area where she knew a first aid station was, frowning when she arrived, finding the box locked.  Who the hell locks a first aid box?  She shook her head and slapped the cover, annoyed, leaning on her hand and trying to think of a way to get the box to open.  Suddenly she felt warm liquid around her hand.  She looked up at the box and saw the cover melting around her hand, she pulled her hand away, bringing the melting metal with her, it forming a ball in her hand.  She stared for a moment before setting the ball aside.  First thing first, she had to get something on the cut in her leg before it got infected.  She quickly dressed the wound before picking up the ball again.  She focused on it, and formed it back into the door, then into a ball again.  She was going to try again when she heard a voice in one of the offices.

“Go, draw them out,” it commanded.  She knew that no one was supposed to be here and she also knew that in the movies when you go towards the voice you end up dead so she backed away, going down the hall and out the door to the parking lot.  She was almost to her car when a humanoid robot landed in front of her, causing her to freeze in shock.  It reached for her and she heard a voice yell ‘duck’ so she dove to the ground just before a beam of light shot past her and exploded the bot.  She looked up to see a man made of steel and a man in a mechanized super suit run up.

“Are you alright?” the man of steel asked.  She nodded, him helping her to stand.  She looked around and saw another bot coming and threw up her hands to protect herself, simultaneously throwing the steel guy at it.  He looked at her surprised, standing again.  “How?”

“Apparently I can control metal?” she said, still confused why.  The steel guy saw another bot and ran at it, punching it into bits, sending pieces flying.  Y/N threw up her hands to block a falling piece of debris and summoned some kind of gun to her hand.  The man in the suit’s eyes widened and Y/N heard an angry bellow before a hulking figure came running over to them.  He glared menacingly at Y/N.

“Mick, I don’t think she meant to do that,” Suit said, trying to block 'Mick’ from her.  He was shoved out of the way and Mick pushed forward, snatching the gun back.  Y/N’s eyes widened as she took him in fully, towering above her.

“Sorry, I can’t control it,” she said, staring at him.  He eyed her angrily and she stared back at him, really trying to keep her head focused in this mess and staring him down seemed to be helping.

“Don’t let it happen again Red,” he said, voice raspy as he flicked a piece of her auburn hair out of her face.  She nodded as he turned to face off against more robots.  The man in the suit flew off and Y/N was left alone in the middle of the fight.  She saw another bot coming at her and she threw her hand up again, intending to throw the bot away, but instead summoning the gun to her hand again.  She heard a string of obscenities but didn’t care, finding the trigger and pulling the trigger, fire erupting from the nozzle and melting the bot.  Y/N looked at it shocked for a second before smiling wide.

“This thing is awesome!” she said, melting another bot as Mick ran up and took his gun back again.  “Sorry again but thanks!"  He glared.

"Stealing in wrong,” he snarled before looking around.  Steelman and Suit came back, looking confused.  The robots were retreating, a man walking out of the building, catching Cici’s eye as he left.  Mick and his friends noticed the guy and moved to follow but he hit a button on a watch and vanished.

“Who was that guy?” asked Suit.  Y/N swallowed hard, looked shocked again.

“I think that was my father.”

Mick growled as he followed Y/N into her small apartment, annoyed he got stuck on babysitting duty.  He didn’t want to keep watch over a newly minted meta while she packed up to be protected by them.  Ray and Nate had gone back to the WaveRider to brief the team on this new development, leaving him in charge of watching their new stray.  One more annoying newbie to deal with.  The WaveRider was turning into a puppy shelter and Mick didn’t like puppies.

“O stop grumbling Gigantor, I’ll take five minutes, I don’t have much,” Y/N said, grabbing a duffel bag and starting to stuff it with trinkets and clothes.  Mick glared, something Y/N had noticed he did a lot.

“Better take one minute,” he muttered, holding his gun a little tighter.  She glanced at him as she put the bag over her shoulder and walked up to a desk, pulling out a photo and shoving it in her pocket.

“Can’t believe my mother wasn’t crazy,” she said.  Mick stared quietly at her but she could see the wheels turning in his mind.  Why was a time traveler leaving a kid in the 21st century not an aberration?  Why did he want to kidnap her now that she had powers?  Why were some dads just so shitty?  He was so deep in thought he didn’t realize Y/N was staring back at him.

“What?” he said.  She eyed him for a moment longer before smiling.

“You’re very calming to be around,” she said, moving towards the door.  Mick looked confused for a moment, no one had ever said anything like that to him before.  Mostly people feared him, even without the heatgun he was still an imposing figure.  He shrugged and moved after her, taking her to the ship.

Sara looked over Y/N quietly as the team stood around her on the bridge, before looking at the picture she had given her.  It was easy to see that everyone gathered was wondering the same thing, what was so important about her?  Why did this man, her apparent father, want her now after she became a meta?

“Did you know him?” Sara asked.  Y/N shook her head, taking the picture back.“I thought my mother was crazy when she told me my dad was a time traveler.  I thought she made up a story to make feel better about not having a dad around,” she said, feeling very guilty about thinking her mother was insane.  “And then tonight all of a sudden I’m manipulating metal and summoning heat guns!  Really starting to freak out here,” she rambled, hands wringing in front of her.  “What am I going to do?”

“Calm down, we will help keep you safe,” the older man, Martin, said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.  She smiled weakly and nodded.

“There’s a room open next to Mick, take her there,” Sara said to Mick.  He glared.

“I don’t want to sleep next to a thief,” he said.  Sara snorted a laugh.

“O the irony, just do it Mick,” she said.  He grunted an annoyed reply and nodded for Y/N to follow.  She grabbed her bag and hurried after him.

“Don’t even think about taking my gun again Red,” he said, watching her closely.  She rolled her eyes and looked up at him.

“I told you it was an accident Gigantor, I just couldn’t control it, the whole thing is made of something metallic obviously and I don’t know, I just like it a lot,” she said, looking at him.  He opened the door to the free room and motioned for her to go inside.  “Thanks by the way, for protecting me.”

“Don’t get used to it Red…and no more nicknames, I make the nicknames around here,” Mick grumbled before leaving her alone.  She moved to the bed and, exhausted from her adrenaline rush dying down, fell asleep instantly.

[foreversillythings]

And the Clock Kept Ticking Chapter 15

Part 1    Part 14

Part 15-Our Hearts Beat Like Drums

Madge tries to keep her breathing regular as the hovercraft carries them to Two, her heart hammering in her ears. She holds onto Katniss and Rory, fingers knotted with theirs and please let us make it out of this okay.

Leevy sits across from her, grim faced and steely eyed, Rory whispers to himself, a litany of reminders and Katniss fidgets, her leg bouncing up and down. The air in the hover craft is tense, talk hushed and Madge runs through her training, attempts to reassure herself.

we can do this

we can

*

Theirs is one of the first hovercrafts to arrive, landing in a clearing just on the outside of town. They're met by stern looking soldiers who hurry them towards a makeshift camp hidden by the side of a cliff. The ground is rough and uneven but their pace doesn't slow, a tinge of fear in every step they take. Their guides' eyes flicker to and fro, as if expecting trouble and Madge gives up trying to calm her racing heart.

"Hurry up, this way," the man in front of them urges, herding them beneath the relative shelter of the cliff. The sky is pale, sun nearly white and illuminating pearly clouds and Madge tries to find courage in daylight, but she's old enough now to know monsters don't just hide in the dark. More hovercrafts continue to land, the morning air humming with the sound but then another noise, impossibly loud, shatters the day. It's gunfire, except not, cannon fire but worse, anti aircraft guns! someone shrieks and oh.

"Get down!" comes a scream and Madge drops, huddles by a tent pole and it's like the end of Twelve all over again, the whole world coming apart at the seams. She covers her ears with her hands and forces her eyes open, needs to make sure Rory and Katniss are nearby. Instead, Madge watches one of their hovercrafts explodes, burning in the sky like a new sun and the sound it makes is beyond words, horror settling in her stomach like a cold stone. And then another and another, hovercrafts painting the sky like fireworks and she can feel terror flowing through her, hot and scalding.

no

How many people were aboard those hovercrafts? How many people have died without even stepping foot on the battlefield?

And still the hovercrafts come, some managing to land even amidst the barrage of death but most blooming into great clouds of fire, raining ashes and debris down on District Two. She can't hear any screaming, at least not with her ears, but she can feel it in her bones, an endless screech of fear and pain. Someone grabs her arm, fingers tight enough to bruise but Madge barely registers it, body numb with panic.

"We're all going to die," someone wails or maybe that's the voice in Madge's head, but it doesn't really matter.

She's pretty sure they're right.

*

("So much for the element of surprise," someone grumbles and Madge almost vomits)

(people, so many people, are dead)

(you'd never know from the way some of these soldiers are reacting)

(maybe Snow’s winning after all)

*

Their commanding officer, Lyme, is a tall, imposing woman.

Madge feels like a little girl in her presence, a kid afraid of being scolded. Commander Lyme prowls in front of them, pacing back and forth and Madge tries her best to stand up straight, keep her spine stiff instead of wilting under the commander‘s stern eyes.

“District Two is our gateway to the Capitol. This battle will be more important than any we’ve had so far,” Commander Lyme declares as she casts shrewd eyes over each of them and stops her pacing. “Remember your training; do not bend to the Capitols machine of fear. Panem will soon be ours again, believe that.”

I do, Madge can’t help but think, I do.

*

There’s a buzzing in Madge’s ears, a rising hum of panic she forces as far down as she can. They’re moving out, finally, marching off to their positions for the siege of Two and Madge feels like her legs will give out with every quivering step.

be brave, be brave, be brave she tells herself, but still her nerves shiver and shake. Rory walks beside her, hushed voice running with constant reminders and tips, preparations for the terror to come and she remembers when she first met him, remembers it like a distant dream. He was so young, still is, and she wants to drag him home, hide him away somewhere safe. But that’s why they’re here, Rory, her brother, that little boy who’s grown up too much, too fast and her, because there is nowhere safe, not in Snow’s Panem.

Katniss stands by her other side, face drawn and eyes dark and Madge wonders if winning this war will lighten those shadows, carry away some of the weight on her shoulders. So many terrible things have already happened; can victory really wash them all away?

(she’s pretty sure she knows the answer)

They come to a stop on the southern outskirts of Two and slowly file into position to await the signal to attack. They crouch down, hidden by a natural sloping of the ground and Madge’s hands are already slippery with sweat. The grass here is sparse and yellow, the sky a dull sort of blue and Madge runs through everything she knows of District Two. They’re a mining district just like Twelve. They’re the main supplier of peacekeepers to the Capitol. They‘re the district that has always been closest to Snow, the one with the tightest binds of loyalty. Two is sure to put up a major fight and Madge swallows, her throat dry. She peeks out over their little hill, takes in the sight of The Fringe, District Two’s version of The Seam. Ramshackle wooden houses with dirty windows, scraggly lawns and chipping paint, she could almost be home.

(but home is gone, burnt away by the Capitol)

(Madge tries not to think about what she’s doing here, waiting to burn these homes to the ground, to do just what the Capitol did to her)

She prays the battle will be quick, hopes Two will surrender without much war and bloodshed. Madge isn’t very confident in that, but even so, she’s never been one to give up on hope, no matter how foolish.

*

They wait for days or minutes or years for a signal to come, but it never does.

(that soldier from earlier was right, they’d lost the element of surprise)

(and now they’d pay for it)

The only call to action they get is a hail of gunfire, spitting out from behind them. People scream, panic, run and Katniss shoulders Madge to the ground, bullets burying themselves in the hill above her. Dirt rains down on her head and Rory is shouting, voice lost in the cacophony of chaos. Their squad splinters, scrambling off in opposite directions and Madge claws her way up, knows they need to find better cover. She looks around wildly, but there’s nowhere to go, nothing but peacekeepers and open fields.

The Fringe!

The thought springs to her mind and of course, of course. There’ll be plenty of cover there, a much higher chance of losing the peacekeepers. There might be civilians though and the thought makes her wilt, but no, they don’t have a choice. She hadn’t noticed a single sign of life when she’d been watching, has to believe all the people have been evacuated.

Madge lurches upwards, driven by adrenaline and grabs the strap across Rory’s shoulder, knows he’ll never hear her if she tries to speak. She tugs hard to get his attention and gestures towards the Fringe, mouths the word run. He frowns, shakes his head, probably wants to argue but they don’t have time for that. She grabs a hold of the pack on his back with both hands and yanks, the unexpectedness of the move nearly knocking him off his feet.

“Go!” she yells and ducks down as more gunfire sprays over them. She crawls on her stomach over to Katniss, hooks a finger in the leg of her pants and pulls. Katniss flicks an eye in her direction and Madge jerks her head towards the Fringe, her lips moving in words even she can’t hear. Katniss bites her lip but then nods, sliding down so she’s level with Madge.

“Toss a grenade for cover and we’ll climb over the hill and make a run for it,” Katniss tells her, yelling but sounding like a whisper. Madge nods and reaches for one, Katniss still firing at their attackers. Madge pulls the pin and throws it, refuses to think of the people she may be catching in the blast. The explosion nearly deafens her, the ground shaking but Katniss is already standing, hauling Madge after her. They clamber over the hill and down the other side, Madge’s whole body made of pudding. Rory is waiting for them and Madge doesn’t know who says “Run!” but someone does and they’re all running, angry shouts and bullets hounding their footsteps.

The gunfire grows louder, like it‘s just behind them and Madge feels fear tighten in her chest. Just don’t stop running. Rory reaches the Fringe first and ducks between two narrow houses, Madge turning the opposite way down the main road. They’ll have to split up and find their way back to each other, can‘t risk all going the same way and having the Peacekeepers follow after. She can’t hear herself over her jackhammer heart and her body moves on instinct, dodging this way and that, hoping to lose anyone that might be tailing her.

Rory, Katniss, we’ll find each other again.

I know we will.

*

Madge whips around a corner and stops, presses her back against the wall of a nearby house. She peeks quickly back the way she came but can’t see any pursuers, may finally have shaken them off. She takes a moment to catch her breath and then pushes off, has to track down the others.

She creeps through Two, her hands clenched around her gun. Peacekeepers might be anywhere and she has to stay alert, feels like her every pore is on fire. Adrenaline is like liquid lightning, jolting through her at a million miles per second. Stay focused, stay calm, find Rory and Katniss. She hears gunfire in the distance and freezes, but then forces herself to go on. Be brave.

She walks with no sense of time, no idea how long it’s been. Where are you? she wants to scream but can’t, needs to keep looking. Hyper alert ears hear the sound of feet on gravel and Madge stops, flattening herself against the nearest wall. She quiets her breathing, eyes trained on the direction those feet are coming from and she aims, trains her weapon on the narrow opening between two houses. Who is it? Training plays on a loop in her head, every lesson running a marathon through her brain. It’s going to be okay, you can do thi-

Madge almost screams at the sight of him, not words, just sounds strangled by feeling. Instead she tumbles towards him, feet crunching over rocks and broken glass. Rory mouths her name but is smart enough not to say it and they meet in a cloud of kicked up dust, her eyes stinging from dirt and tears. It’s not so much a hug as it is a mushing of bodies, lumpy gear jabbing each other painfully. It’s quick because time is always running so far ahead of them and they hurry for cover, fingers knotted in each other’s sleeves.

Rory finds a door with a broken lock and they sneak inside someone’s hollow home, all shadows and left behind memories. They move without having to plan it out loud, Rory dragging a springless sofa in front of the door, Madge closing ratty curtains. Rory sits on the couch, sinks low into the cushions and Madge is sure the peacekeepers will trace them by the thunder beat of her heart. She shuffles over to sit beside him, the seat wilting beneath her weight and she looks at him, a smudged coal drawing in the dark.

“What’s the plan?” he whispers and Madge pushes her tongue against her teeth. What is the plan?

“Any idea how many peacekeepers are out there?” she eventually responds, the silence a bit too much like a noose. He shakes his head. Madge drums her fingers on her leg. What’s the plan? She stands and peeks out a window at the street, notes the narrow alleys at either end.

“Okay,” she starts, turning back to Rory with determination weighing in her bones. “We have a good vantage point from these windows for each end of the street. If we can lure the peacekeepers here, they’ll bottleneck and we might be able to pick them off, or at least thin them out.”

Her words are sure but her throat is dry and Rory nods, tongue running over his lips. Of course, how exactly they’re going to lure the peacekeepers is another question. Rory gives her a thoughtful look.

“How do you feel about explosions?”

*

“Ready?” Rory asks, not bothering to whisper anymore. After all, they want the peacekeepers to find them now. Madge looks at him and his face is shiny with sweat, there’s dirt beneath her nails but we can do this. She nods.

The blast rocks the street and Madge grits her teeth, crouched behind the furniture they’d pushed against the walls as extra cover. With her ears still ringing, she jumps up and pops open her window, trusts that Rory is doing the same. She trains her gun on her end of the street and tries to calm her hectic breathing. She fails.

“So now we wait,” comes Rory’s voice and Madge nods.

Now they wait.

*

They arrive on Rory’s side first.

Madge nearly jumps out of her skin when he opens fire and forces herself to stay focused on her side of the street. Her ears shake and shudder with the sounds of death and gunfire, her teeth biting down into her lip. Stay focused, don’t look. Sweat slides over her skin, stretched so tight it might snap apart any minute.

“Fuck,” Rory swears and Madge almost turns, is half a second from going to help when peacekeepers start to file in from her side of the street. Panic, so hot it’s almost cold, spills from her head into the rest of her, filling her up from top to bottom. She pulls the trigger with slick fingers and the kick back rattles her organs. Madge has never shot a real person before, tries not to focus on the fact that she’s killing someone’s child, sibling, parent, spouse. There’s a loud, angry lion roar in her ears, drowning out the world and she remembers Janah Malleefowl and a smoking gun, tries not to remember her body in the street.

The peacekeepers return fire and Madge ducks, bullets piercing weak wooden walls and lodging in her furniture barricades. Then she’s up, firing, taking cover and up again. A few bullets come so close she can feel their heat and even a few peacekeepers creep near, but she refuses to think about that, does what she needs to make it out alive. She moves like a machine, her training working without conscious thought. Don’t think, just do.

She pulls the trigger and nothing comes out, her gun empty and she drops down to her knees, tries to numb the fear in her blood as she reloads. When she stands there’s a peacekeeper so close to her window she could reach out and touch him, the white of his armour glowing in the midday sun. For a second Madge is blind from both the glare and the memory of peacekeepers in the sun, fists and boots tattooing her skin. She’s saved only because the peacekeeper in front of her didn’t expect her to stand so suddenly, isn’t quite ready to fire. Madge pulls the trigger and her bullet buries deep in his armour (his and all of theirs, all those peacekeepers she can never forget), blood spraying out and she can taste it in her mouth. Her stomach roils with heat but she doesn’t have time for that right now.

Win, you have to win

*

She could have been there for years when the last peacekeeper falls, her gun nearly slipping from trembling hands. It takes her a minute to hear it over the bang, bang, bang of her heart against her ribs but Rory’s stopped shooting too. Madge turns to him with a quivering smile, relief like water over burnt skin. We did it!

But Rory isn’t smiling as he turns and time seems to slow down, seconds stretching into hours. There’s a frown on his face, red, red, red spreading across his shirt and...no.

Madge would scream but can’t, words choked in her throat.

Rory’s been shot.

*

She can’t breathe and Rory wavers as he touches his wound, fingers coming away scarlet. He slumps sideways, shoulder knocking into the wall and slides down to the floor. Madge trips towards him, her knees cracking angrily against the floor. She ignores the pain and crawls over to him, her hands shaky as she grabs his elbow, curls one hand around his wrist.

“Rory,” she murmurs, doesn’t know what to say.

“How...how bad is it?” he mumbles, voice rising and fading. Madge swallows. She can’t tell through all his clothes, can only see the blood, so, so much blood.

“Here,” she whispers, taking his hand, “put pressure on it. I’m going to see if I can find any first aid supplies.”

Madge stands on quaking legs and has to take a moment to breathe, to relax. It’s going to be okay. Rory’s going to be okay. She goes to the bathroom first, the house here laid out similar to her own. She ignores the homesickness as she grabs every clean towel she can find, has to stay focused on Rory. They don’t seem to have any bandages or disinfectant, but Madge can’t tell if they never did or took it with them when they left. She shakes her head. Not that it really matters, what matters is there’s none. She goes to the kitchen and fills a bowl with water from the sink, needs something at least to clean him up. She settles down beside him again and can’t really tell in the gloom, but she thinks he may be getting paler.

“So?” he asks as she pulls away his hand, his fingers already stained red.

“Don’t move, I’m going to have to cut away some of your shirt.”

He nods weakly and Madge feels her rib cage tighten. She pulls out her knife and forces her hand to steady as she cuts the fabric around the gunshot wound. His blood is thick and dark, oozing steadily out of him and Madge feels a little like puking. She uses her hands to tear his shirt a bit more and then exhales loudly, the whole bloody mess exposed. It’s on his left side, just missing where she thinks his kidney should be. She puts a hand on his shoulder and gently leans him forward, but sees no exit wound on his back.

“I think the bullet’s still inside you,” she tells him, that thought like a boulder in her gut.

Rory laughs painfully. “Well, shit. You’ll have to...take it out.”

Madge shakes her head quickly, a panicky feeling filling her lungs.

“I can’t, I’ll make it worse.”

“I’ve been shot, I’m not sure...it gets worse.”

Madge bites her lip. You could die, she thinks but doesn’t say. She inhales a shaky breath and places a clean towel in his hand.

“Keep up the pressure,” she tells him and he watches her through half closed eyes. Her whole body trembles as she goes to the sink to clean her knife. She scrubs at her fingers, her nails, her knife with dish soap, eyes welling with tears. She’s no surgeon, knows only the most basic first aid and they need Prim, someone, anyone, who could save Rory. What if I make it worse? She grabs a wooden spoon on the way back and kneels in front of him smelling strongly of lemons. She takes a few deep breaths in the hopes of steadying herself. It doesn’t work.

“Are you sure about this?” she asks and he nods weakly.

“I’m not...gunna lie, I’ve forgotten most of what Prim taught me about emergency first aid, but...I’m pretty sure leaving the bullet in there’s not a good idea...And hey, if this goes terribly wrong and we should have left it in, you can...totally blame me. My bad,” Rory says and tries to smile but Madge can’t return it. He nods again and removes the towel from his wound, Madge flinching at the sight of it. She squeezes the handle of her knife, doesn’t even know where to begin.

“It’s okay,” Rory whispers, “I know...you can do it.”

Madge swallows.

“Here,” she mumbles, placing the spoon between his teeth and for the first time, she can see the worry bright in his eyes. She bends down to get eye level with his wound and leans in close, feels sick as she tries to see the bullet. It’s too far in, not to mention too dark and she leans back, stomach rolling. She scoots in closer and Rory closes his eyes, unable to watch.

“Ready?” she asks, grabbing his shoulder to steady him and he nods jerkily. Slowly, carefully, she inserts her knife into his wound, hoping she’ll hit the bullet with the blade. It’s probably a terrible idea, but she has no idea what else to do. Rory tenses under her fingers, teeth digging into the spoon. He grunts in obvious pain, eyes screwed up and nose wrinkled but Madge keeps going, can’t stop now. And then finally, she feels it.

“Got it,” she breathes in triumph and pulls out the knife, Rory wincing. “Got it,” she repeats and figures she’ll give him a minute to recover. He’s breathing heavily and she realizes there’s no way she’ll be able to dig out a bullet from his wound, it’s too small and narrow. She bites her lip.

“If you want me to take it out, I’ll have to make the opening bigger.”

He exhales loudly and leans his head back.

“Do it.”

Madge nods. She takes his shoulder again and Rory clenches his teeth around the spoon. Her knife is steady even if her heart isn’t when she starts to cut into his skin, widening the bullet wound. Rory groans, hands tightening into fists. I’m sorry.

She puts down her knife, the first part of her job done and closes her eyes for a moment. You can do this. She looks at his face, his grimace of pain and then plunges two fingers into his side. He yelps around the spoon and she frowns in sympathy, sorry running over and over through her mind. He is warm and wet, or at least his insides are and Madge fights down the rising tide of bile.

Rory needs me.

She feels it then, fingers grasping at the bullet slippery with Rory. It tries to get away from her but she doesn’t give up, forces it to come out and Rory hisses as her fingers leave his body. The bullet, so tiny but so dangerous, slips from her fingers to the floor as Rory spits out his spoon.

“Fuck” he moans, “fuck fuck fuck”.

“I’m sorry,” she says around a sob, mopping at his wound with a wet towel. There are tears in the corners of his eyes and his breath hisses out of him like steam. She takes another towel, this one clean and dry and places his hand over it.

“Come on, we need to keep up the pressure and stop the bleeding.”

Rory nods and pushes down on the towel with shaking fingers.

“Thanks,” he breathes, voice so very faint. “That fucking sucked. Don’t...don’t ever try it.”

Madge half-laughs, half-sobs.

“I won’t.”

I hope.

*

(the battle for District Two wages on, peacekeepers overwhelmed by the sheer number of rebels, all ready to die for their freedom)

(Snow receives dispatches in his Capitol, of rebel footholds, of dead peacekeepers and defectors, Two’s citizens who aren’t so keen to fight for a king they’ve never met)

(resistance members are slaughtered in droves but still they come, cannot, will not give up)

(it is a war heavy on casualties, but slowly, Two falls)

*

The sun travels to the other side of the house, casting them in even deeper shadows and Madge pulls her gaze away from a collection of family photos on the wall to check on Rory.

He’s bled through his towel again and she feels helplessness strangle her heart, because she has no idea what she’s supposed to do. She gives him a fresh one and he offers her a fragile smile, his skin graying.

“I’m...good,” he answers her unspoken question and she doesn’t believe it for a second. She touches his cheek and he coughs violently, his whole body convulsing. Madge grabs him and holds him, his horrible hacking echoing in her ear. His forehead leans on her chin and she keeps him close, tries to keep him together through the spasms. He flops backwards when he’s done, nearly boneless and Madge looks down to find almost-black blood clots in her lap.

She blinks and then stands on unsteady legs, hurries over to the bathroom. The vomit comes quick and hot, scalding its way up her throat. She grips the edge of the toilet bowl as she heaves, her insides seeming determined to be on the outside. She stays like that for a moment after she’s done and then forces herself up. Rory needs her to hold herself together and she turns on the faucet, ignores her reflection as she scrubs away his blood.

Someone’s going to find us soon, they have to.

The sun burns orange through a window as Madge makes her way back into the living room, nausea swirling in her gut. She goes to kneel beside Rory and something’s wrong. His hand is no longer applying pressure, lies useless instead, his whole body mostly limp. His head lolls a bit to the side, breathing shallow and Madge feels fear start to burst in her brain.

“Rory, hey, wake up, don’t fall asleep. Stay with me,” she begs, grabbing his shoulders and his eyelids flutter but don’t quite open. Madge almost panics but forces it down and threads her fingers through his and pushes down, won’t let him bleed out on the floor.

“Talk to me Rory, tell me a story,” she insists and he gurgles a little. She squeezes his hand and moves up against his side, presses herself as close to him as she can. “Please, Rory, talk to me,” she whispers against his ear.

“I’m o...kay” he manages, voice thin but there and Madge buries her face in his shoulder. She can feel his every shuddery breath and places a hand over his heart, needs to feel it beating. She needs to keep him awake, needs to keep him conscious.

“Keep talking, you need to keep talking, okay?”

He nods and forces his head upright, the strain clear in all his muscles.

“Sor...ry. What should I...say?” he asks, sounding exhausted.

“Anything. A secret, something nobody else knows.”

He pauses and Madge is almost afraid he’s passed out when “Birds,” he mumbles and Madge blinks.

“Birds?”

“Bi...rds freak me...freak me out,” he forces past his lips and Madge feels her eyebrows go up.

“I’ve never...never told anyone, could you...could you imagine if Vick found out?  He’d never’ve....let that go...right?”

Madge nods, a small smile touching her lips.

“He and Gale...hah, they’d have loved to know....I’d never hear the...end of it...”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” she promises.

“I...I told Peony,” he admits and Madge squeezes his fingers again. “I always, always wanted to...go out into the woods with Gale, but...fuck, those birds. They were...just so...creepy. She didn’t laugh though...she was terrified of...fish, can you believe it? Fish.”

He takes a pause to catch his breath, body rattling and Madge tightens her grip on him.

“I took her...to the pond when...when we were fifteen, I...I think. She spent...a half hour or something, just...standing at the edge, afraid she’d see one. She got...knee deep and then...screamed, sure she’d felt one...I’ve never...never seen someone move so quick. Fuck...she’d be so pissed I told you...”

Rory smiles a little bit and Madge feels her own widen.

“Vick...Vick would be so angry right now. He and Posy...they’d give me so much shit for getting...shot like this. Hah...they’d be so mad...”

Madge’s eyes sting with tears, her whole body sagging.

“And Peony...and Prim, they used to...do one hell of a...of a tag team. I’d be in so much...trouble...”

Madge sniffles and sits up to get a new towel, the current one soaked through with blood. Rory inhales a few times, the sound of it wet and rattling.

“I wish...I wish they were here to...yell at me,” he admits quietly, eyes downcast and Madge squeezes the towel in her hands. “I...miss them. Vick and...and Peony. I miss them...”

“I know,” she whispers, tries to stem the blood flow with a clean towel. “I know you do.”

He nods, breathing so laboured Madge can barely hear it, but she does, just, just manages to. There’s something, someone, many someones outside, footsteps carefully stepping on the dirt street. She tenses, fingers tightening on her gun but then deflates like an old balloon.

The door opens and standing there, lit up like a superhero by the setting sun, is Katniss.

Madge bursts into tears.

*

Medics swarm over Rory like buzzing bees and Madge leans against a wall with weak knees. He’ll be okay now, they’ll make him okay. Katniss comes to stand beside her and doesn’t say anything, just places a hand on Madge’s shoulder and squeezes. Madge wipes at a few tears still dribbling down her cheeks and puts her hand on top of Katniss’. We’re all okay.

“That’s one hell of a graveyard out there,” Katniss says and Madge had nearly forgotten about all the peacekeepers she’d killed, had been so entirely wrapped up in Rory. She doesn’t know what to say, so she just nods instead, wonders if it made any difference in the grand scheme of things.

“Most of Two is ours,” Katniss continues and Madge feels a little lightheaded. “The remaining enemy forces have gone to hide in the mines.”

Madge closes her eyes.

“Do we have any ideas how to get them out?” she asks and Katniss shrugs.

“I’m sure the people in charge are figuring it out. We’re just grunts, no one tells us anything.”

Madge nods again and peeks over in Rory’s direction. She can only make out his left foot, everything else blocked by busy medics but that foot’s enough. He’s okay she tells herself again, desperate for the reassurance.

He’s okay.

*

The next morning Rory is sent away to an impromptu hospital while Madge and Katniss march back to war, ready to stamp out the last of Two’s defenders. The rebel forces converge on the “Nut” the mining mountain where their enemies have taken refuge and Madge hopes they’ll surrender without a fight, but she isn’t holding her breath.

The columns of soldiers shift restlessly and Commander Lyme steps forward, a megaphone clamped firmly in her fist. A tense hush falls over the crowd and Madge can feel her heart pounding, beating up in her throat.

“This is Commander Lyme, representing President Coin and the United Army of Panem. We have no further wish for bloodshed and so, we are willing to offer amnesty to each one of you. Surrender now and come out without your arms and you will not be harmed. I myself am from District Two, and I promise you, I have no wish to spill anymore of our blood.”

Her words echo around the district and no one breathes, waiting for Two’s response.

“This is your last chance, if you do not come out, we will use force and show no mercy. Surrender now.”

Again, her words are met by only silence and Madge feels tight all over, her every nerve about to snap. They wait a few moments, just in case, and then Commander Lyme shakes her head. She lowers her megaphone and steps back, a grim expression on her face. Madge can feel apprehension gnawing at her, lowering over her shoulders like a blanket.

“Brace yourselves!” Commander Lyme suddenly bellows and Madge looks at Katniss in question. Brace ourselves? For what?

(for the very end of district two)

*

The Nut erupts like a volcano, fire shooting from all directions.

Madge screams and she isn’t the only one, the ground bucking beneath their feet. Dirt and rocks burst into the sky, raining down on the soldiers cowering outside, their pale faces making it clear none of them saw this coming. Blast after blast demolishes the Nut, anyone and everyone inside and no mercy Commander Lyme had said and clearly, she’d meant it.

Hovercrafts rumble in the sky, dropping more death on the Nut while bombs somehow hidden inside continue to go off, President Coin’s war machine taking no chances. Dust clouds and pebbles shower down on her and Madge can’t scream anymore, feels numb as the explosions continue, reducing the mountain to rubble and destroying the Capitol’s last allies in the Districts.

She watches fire kiss the clouds, imagines the screams of those burning away inside their sanctuary turned tomb. That’s enough she wants to wail, but doesn’t, maybe isn’t as compassionate as she wants to believe.

(that’s enough, but is it? Is it? asks the darkness in her heart)

(Madge doesn’t listen for the answer)

*

District Two is done, they’ve won and Madge is hard and cold all over.

She can’t imagine victory is meant to feel like this.

*

The so-called hospital smells like so many things Madge wishes she could ignore, lights dim and grimy. It’s understaffed, underequipped but it’s better than nothing and that’s what she keeps telling herself as she sits by a slumbering Rory’s bedside, his limp fingers clammy in hers. She’d love to sleep too, feels like she could for a whole year, but she’s afraid to close her eyes, afraid of what she might wake up to. The medics had patched him up as best they could, but he’s still breathing heavy, his skin far too pale. She kisses his grimy knuckles and please be okay Rory, please, please be okay.

“I found Leevy,” Katniss reports, coming up behind her and Madge sighs with relief.

“Is she okay?”

Katniss comes around to the end of Rory’s bed and nods. “She broke her arm, but otherwise, she’ll be okay.”

They both stare down at Rory, the struggling rise and fall of his chest.

“I heard a rumour too,” Katniss begins and Madge tears her eyes away from Rory.

“About what?”

Katniss manages a smile, tired and a little rough in the corners. “That we’ll be going home soon.”

Home

Madge feels her tiredness start to melt away.

We’re going home.

*

Madge holds Rory’s hand the whole way back to Thirteen, promises she‘ll never ever let go.

*

Everyone is herded to Thirteen’s overcrowded infirmary when they arrive, no matter how many times they protest they’re alright. Madge has no injuries that need tending, she just needs home, but no one listens. She shuffles alongside those in desperate need of care and daydreams of a shower, her own bed, her family.

Medics, nurses and doctors are waiting for them as they reach the infirmary and quickly begin sorting through them. Madge and Katniss are pushed off to one side, no immediate threats to their health while Leevy and Rory are pulled another way, in need of proper medical attention. Madge sinks to the floor between a box of bandages and a table covered in sterilized tools and leans her forehead on her knees, tired like she’s never been before. She can see Maysie against her eyelids, Gale, her father, Prim and the Hawthornes. Soon, she thinks to herself, soon we’ll be together again.

Time moves or doesn’t, Madge can’t quite be sure. Eventually nurses come to examine them, make sure they really are alright. There’s no available beds so they do their work right there in the corner and Madge keeps her eyes closed as she waits for her turn. I hope Rory’s doing alright.

“Madge,” Katniss hisses, kicking her in the ankle and Madge’s head pops up, assuming it’s her turn. But the nurse is still two people away and then Madge follows Katniss’ line of sight and feels her chest burn suddenly hot.

Gale

He’s standing in the midst of a flurry of activity, her heart pounding out his name. He says hers and she hears it even though he’s much too far away, feels invigorated and refreshed at just the sight of him. She stands and keeps her eyes locked with his, never once looks away and the whole world around them seems to blur, no longer mattering. She walks to him and straight into his embrace, folds into his chest like she’d never left.

“You’re back,” Gale whispers and Madge smiles into his shoulder.

I’m back.

*

Holding Maysilee is better than any medicine, salve or balm, soothes and reassures Madge like nothing else ever could. She feels alive again as she holds her daughter, feels courage and strength pounding through her blood.

“I love you,” she whispers though her tears and this is why she fights, why she has to win.

For Maysilee, Madge thinks she could do anything.

Anything at all.

*

There’s a heap of clothing on the floor and Madge lies on her back in bed, eyes closed and body humming. Gale lies on his side beside her, propped up on an elbow and she can feel him looking at her, kissing her all over with his eyes. The room is dim, her breathing slow and home is not so much a place as a feeling, like a fire boiling her blood.

“They started planning the Capitol invasion the second they heard Two had fallen,” Gale whispers, goose bumps following his fingertips across her skin.

“You’re going,” she murmurs, opening her eyes. Gale nods and his hands stop, a burning hot trail remembering where they’d been.

“This is it,” he tells her and she knows it, feels it like a storm in her chest. She reaches for his face and pulls him down to her, fills herself with Gale, entirely and completely. This is it his voice echoes as he touches her inside and out, this is the end her heart whispers back.

Soon, this will all be over.

(but for who?)

*

Her father stops by before breakfast the next day, eyes wet and shining.

“Madge,” he breathes when she opens the door and she smiles, her own eyes starting to fill with tears.

“Daddy.”

Neither one of them says anything else, they simply fall into each other’s arms and hold each other tight. Madge laughs into his shoulder as he squeezes her and there’s something magical in this moment, something bright and warm and right.

Are you watching Mama? Us Undersees, we’re going to be okay. We’re going to make it, I promise.

And if she listens with her heart instead of her ears, she’s pretty sure she can hear her mother say I know.

*

Madge has to settle back into her regular routine and it feels so strange, because everything is different now, but also just the same. She works and trains, nightmares nibbling at her mind, memories and could-have-beens lodging in her chest and freezing her all over like ice. Gunfire and blood, Rory’s gray skin, explosions rattling her bones, they’ve taken root inside her but outside everything goes along as it has for months and months, monotonous and never changing. Coin’s daily briefings greet them in the mornings, schedules dictate their every waking hour and everybody just plods along, even as Madge’s whole world tilts a bit on its axis.

Maybe nothing’s changed, she thinks as she stirs her pudding at dinner, maybe I’m the only one who’s different. It’s a bit disorienting, a bit like drifting out to sea but every time she needs an anchor to keep her steady, there’s Maysie tottering on unsteady legs across their room, Gale’s body warm against hers in bed, Posy’s excited whisper at supper, Prim’s gentle hands, her father’s tender smile, Katniss’ steely determination, Peeta’s silly jokes, Hazelle’s comforting eyes, Annie greeting her at breakfast with a breathless “I’m so glad you’re alright”.

There’s a storm raging inside but Madge knows it will pass, the people she loves like sunshine peeking through clouds.

We’re going to be okay.

Deep down in her heart, she believes it. That’s something not even going to war can change.

*

Madge goes with the Hawthornes to visit Rory, feels an odd sort of fear pooling in her gut. She knows he’s okay, on the road to recovery and still it builds, weighing down her limbs. Posy charges ahead of them, barging into the infirmary with determination blazing in her eyes and Hazelle follows after. Madge lags a bit behind with Gale, that odd worry chewing on her skin.

“Something wrong?” Gale asks and she shakes her heads, even as acid crashes against the walls of her stomach. Why am I so nervous? They head inside and the place is crowded with patients and their families, the cost of Two’s liberation a heavy one.

“Looking for Rory?”

Madge turns around and Prim stands behind her, eyes shadowed with exhaustion. She’s pale too, hair dull and Madge thinks she needs a break, but then, they all do. Gale turns too and smiles at Prim.

“Yeah, hope he hasn’t been causing you too much trouble.”

Prim laughs thinly, her eyes not lighting up like they used to.

“He’s been great. Well, aside from constantly trying to convince everyone he’s fine to go home that is.”

Gale grins.

“That definitely sounds like him. So, where is the menace?”

Prim’s smile is weak as she points to their right.

“He’ll be along the wall over there. I’d go with you, but I’ve got so much work to do...”

Madge squeezes her arm.

“When are you off?”

“Umm, I don’t know, uh...I haven’t gone home in two days, but we lost so many in Two...” Prim trails off and Madge pulls her in for a quick hug.

“Get some rest Prim,” she pleads and Prim nods against her shoulder.

“I’m okay, really. Now go on, Rory’s waiting.”

Madge and Gale watch Prim as she slouches off into the crowd, hearts heavy.

“She’s an Everdeen, they’re tough. She’ll be okay,” Gale says and Madge nods, wishes she could believe it. They head in the direction Prim pointed, past so many beds of injured men and women, before they see the Hawthornes. Rory is sitting up in bed, colour back in his cheeks and Madge feels some of her tension ease. But she still can’t shake the image of him, limp and nearly lifeless in her arms. She tries to shake her head to clear it and Hazelle pulls Rory in for a hug, holds him so long it’s like she’ll never let go.

“I’m alright, Ma, really. Prim’s taken good care of me.”

Hazelle nods and releases him, except his hand, kept tight in hers. Posy glares at Rory, arms folded across her chest.

“You’re a jerk,” she pronounces and Rory grins.

“Ah, just the homecoming I dreamed of.”

“Really,” Posy insists, fighting the gathering tears in her eyes. “I’d never, ever forgive you if you got yourself killed.”

Rory’s smile softens and he reaches his hand out to hers, squeezes her fingers. “I know.”

Posy nods and bites down on her bottom lip. Her eyes blur with tears and then she flings herself on him, blubbering on his shoulder in a snotty mess.

“Ah come on Posy, I’m okay,” Rory says, patting her back.

“Shut up,” she replies and sits back, rubbing furiously at her eyes. Hazelle wraps an arm around Posy’s shoulders and Rory takes note of Gale and Madge.

“Posy’s right, you are a jerk,” Gale says shaking his head, a small smile on his lips.

“Hey, you got blown up. I don’t think this is quite as bad as that,” Rory counters with a smirk and Madge feels a knot in her chest start to loosen. This is the Rory she remembers, the one they’d missed for so long. Gale rolls his eyes and sits in a chair by Rory’s bedside.

“So, what? Every time I complain about someone doing something, you guys are gunna throw that in my face?”

“Duh.”

Posy giggles a little, Hazelle’s eyes shine and Madge feels a little like she’s floating. Rory looks over at her and smiles warmly, less the little boy who lost everything, and more the handsome young man he should’ve been allowed to be.

“I’m glad you were there with me,” he says, taking her hand and Madge feels tears build in her eyes. She wishes she didn’t always cry but this is one habit she can’t seem to break.

“Me too,” she mumbles and Rory grins, that old, old Rory grin, full of mischief and good cheer.

“My hero,” Rory teases with his voice, his eyes bright and sincere and then Madge grabs him, sobbing ridiculously into his chest. Gale laughs and then his arms are around them both, Posy and Hazelle soon joining in.

(and with her eyes closed, she could swear Vick was here too)

*

Preparations begin in earnest, plans drawn up for the final siege.

A manic energy infuses the walls of District Thirteen, breathes life into the people hemmed in underground.

(soon, soon)

*

“So, I’ll be going to the Capitol instead of Leevy,” Thom tells them with a grin over lunch a few days later, Leevy, her arm bound up in a sling, nodding along. Gale sighs dramatically.

“Guess we should say our last goodbyes now,” he tells Madge and Thom rolls his eyes.

“You’re the one who blew up last time,” he retorts, words softened by a grin. Gale opens his mouth to reply but Leevy gets there first.

“How about you watch each other’s backs,” she says and Madge can’t help but nod.

Bring each other home.

Please.

*

Days tick down into hours, their day of reckoning creeping ever closer.

Soon, soon is the promise roaring in the walls of Thirteen, their rebellion ready for its final test.

Soon

*

Gale holds Maysilee in his arms, whispers softly to her and Madge leans against him, presses her cheek to his shoulder. Maysie sleeps soundly and Gale's voice is tender as he talks to her, reassurances and promises in every word.

...when this is over, I'll teach you to swim, to lay the perfect snare...

...we'll go home to Twelve, you'll love the woods...

...I'll remind you when you're older, but always listen to your Nana's advice. You can ignore Uncle Rory and Aunt Posy though...

...I love you...

Madge sighs into his skin, wants to stretch this night out for years. Instead, they have only a handful of hours before he's gone and she closes her eyes, lets the sound of him soothe her ragged edges. He is promising Maysie a million tomorrows and Madge will hold him to it, believes in him and his coming home.

They have only tonight and then the rest of their lives, days and months and years upon years.

Madge believes that.

(she has to)

*

Madge and Gale are quiet as she walks him to the hovercraft, hands linked and bodies brushing.

They’d dropped Maysie off with Hazelle, he’d said all his last goodbyes and now there’s just this walk, this one walk before he’s gone, off where she can’t follow. There are other people walking the same way but Madge barely notices them, is entirely focused on Gale and every last second she has with him.

They reach the hangar bay and families mill about, exchanging kisses and final farewells. She can see Peeta and Katniss nearby, whispering in each other’s ears and then Gale turns to face her, hands resting on her waist. She wraps hers around his neck, hands playing with the hair at the back of his head and tries to smile. Words crowd up inside her and Gale presses his forehead against hers.

“I love you,” he murmurs and Madge tilts her head up, lips ghosting over his.

"Come back to me," she breathes into him and he tightens his hold on her waist, their hearts pressed together and beating in tandem. She kisses him with breathless abandon and this is not goodbye.

She can taste a thousand words on his tongue, passed silently between their lips. He will be back and Madge gathers her courage around herself like armour as he starts to pull away. His fingers catch hers and she squeezes slightly, burns the feel of him into her flesh. She inhales and watches him walk away, off to join the others and Peeta comes up beside her, slips his arm around her shoulders. She slides hers around his waist as they watch their soldiers head off to war, the final battle of them all.

I love you Madge thinks to their backs, i love you i love you i love you.

Gale turns back for a moment and Madge smiles, wants what could be his final look at her to be something worth remembering. Leevy comes up on her other side, hand finding hers and this is it.

The end is here.

(please, please let it be the Capitol's end)

(not ours)

(please, not ours)

*

(the end is here, not only in the Capitol but in Thirteen too)

(the Rebellion is launching their last strike but so is Snow)

(and this time, it really is winner take all)

*

Only one chapter left!! Thanks for sticking with me through all this, you guys are the best! :)

[wesonerdy]

Arya completes her revenge against the Freys, while Jon, Cersei, and Dany prepare for their wars. Full recap of Game of Thrones Season 7 premiere, “Dragonstone,” plus preview episode 2 “Stormborn”.

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Game of Thrones returned last Sunday for its seventh season, and the premiere was just as emotional as we anticipated it would be, especially in the aftermath of the *insane* Season 6 finale. Across Westeros, we saw the truth that #WinterIsHere, and the pieces had finally moved into position to launch the series into what will likely be a BEYOND EPIC finale.

“Dragonstone” begins in an unexpected place. Ahead of the iconic intro song, we get a scene of Walder Frey at the Riverlands. Initially, I’m thinking that we’re several moments BEFORE Arya guts Frey like a fish after forcing him to eat a pie made of his dead sons’ remains. However, we soon learn that this is, in fact, at a later time. Walder tells those gathered that he has assembled all of his family members for another celebration (so soon after celebrating their reclaiming Riverrun) and to plan for the changing seasons. Drinks are distributed as Walder salutes his house for destroying the Starks during the Red Wedding. However, soon his tone changes. Yes the Freys decimated House Stark, but they didn’t kill all the wolves. And as long as one wolf survives, the sheep are never safe. We flash to the Freys and they’re all choking to death. WHAT IS GOING ON? Well, Arya has thoroughly mastered the magic of the Faceless Men because it has been her this whole time disguised as Walder! She has just murdered practially every member House Frey without batting an eyelash. As she leaves, she gives a message to a girl that she spares from the massacre: “Tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey.” HAVE. MERCY.

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

  Later on, Arya crosses the Riverlands, heading for King’s Landing. She comes across a band of singing soldiers, led by a man who looks curiously like Ed Sheeran 😉 . They share food, drink, and stories. And when Arya says that she’s going to King’s Landing to murder they queen, they all laugh. But we know that Arya is 1,000% serious.

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

In the post-intro credits, we travel beyond the Wall. Winter weather has well and truly arrived and is bringing hoards upon hoards of White Walkers, led by the Night King… even one that looks like a reanimated Wun-Wun *RUNS* This is likely one of Bran’s visions and when he comes out of it, we see that he and Meera are about to cross the Wall. They’re greeted by the new Lord Commander of he Night’s Watch, Eddison Tollet. At first, Edd is suspicious of the two, but Bran is able to prove who he is by telling Edd about himself and his encounters with the Army of the Dead. Bran is quite convincing, and Edd allows him and Meera inside. Next stop is Winterfell and Jon, right???

At Winterfell, Jon has his bannermen gathered to make preparations for the arrival of the White Walkers. He orders a search for dragonglass to produce weapons and that every man, woman, boy, and girl begin spreparing for battle. At first there is some pushback from Lord Glover at the idea that girls will fight, but Lady Lyanna Mormont shuts that down: “I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me…and I don’t need your permission to defend the North!” The Free Folk will man the castles along the Wall. The conversation shifts to the fate of the remaining Karstarks and Umbers. Several people, led by Sansa, want the families punished for siding with the Boltons. Their castles should be stripped and given to those who fought for Jon. However, Jon disagrees. He refuses to punish sons for their fathers’ crimes. It gets tense while the argument between Jon and Sansa unfolds. He puts his foot down, and calls on the leaders of House Karstrark and House Umber to rededicate themselves to House Stark, which they do.

Strangely, Sansa seems impressed with Jon standing by his decision. Jon is concerned because he doesn’t think it’s a good idea that she question his judgement publicly. Sansa reminds Jon that Joffrey also refused to hear criticism, and that shakes Jon up. She reassures him that he’s nothing like Joffrey, but that Jon needs to be smarter than their father and Robb. Yes, that means listening to Sansa’s counsel and treating her like an equal. In the midst of their conversation, they receive a message from Cersei demanding Jon and Sansa come to declare their fealty. Jon is clearly more concerned about the White Walkers, but Sansa argues that it’s important to remember their enemy to the South because Cersei would never stop until she’s destroyed them. Yes, Sansa has learned a lot from Cersei.

Later, Sansa watches as Brienne trains Pod (Tormund also watches with lust in his eyes, Briemund FTW). Littlefinger tries to talk to Sansa, implying that even though she might be safe at Winterfell, she can’t be happy. Before the conversation can continue, Brienne interrupts. Why does Sansa keep Littlefinger around? She believes she needs the Knights of the Vale. And Sansa also knows she can’t trust Baelish. She knows exactly what he wants from her… and maybe Sansa also knows how to use this knowledge to bring Littlefinger to his demise.

Sandor Clegane and the Brotherhood without Banners are making their way North as well. They decide to take shelter ast a deserted house, one that Sandor recognizes. It’s the house that he and Arya stopped at during Season 4 and were offered shelter by a farmer and daughter. Sandor beats up the farmer and steals his money because they’ll die anyway once winter comes. Now at the house, we see that the farmer and daughter are both dead; murder-suicide done to end the agony of starvation. Clegane questions Beric Dondarrion about his faith and why the Lord of Light keeps bring Beric back. For Beric only the Lord of Light has the answers. Thoros lights a fire and asks Sandor to look and describe what he sees. Sandor sees the Army of the Dead approaching the Wall. This must shake up Sandor because that night, when everyone is sleeping, he buries that farmer and daughter and attempts to say some ceremonial words. Thoros hears the digging, confronts Sandor about his guilt, and then helps.

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

In Kings Landing, Cersei is making her plans. She has a beautiful, massive map of Westeros commissioned. Cersei and Jaime have a conversation about how they’re surrounded by enemies, most notably Tyrion who sails with Dany as her Hand. “We’re the last Lannisters, the last ones who count.” So Cersei and Jaime will build a dynasty for themselves. This means they need some allies… and Cersei has invited Euron Greyjoy and his Ironborn to King’s Landing. He offers his ships, soldiers, and marriage. Cersei refuses Euron’s marriage proposal because she can’t trust a man who killed his own brother. However, Euron promises to convince Cersei by bringing her the thing she desires most… what might that be? Tyrion’s head? (During the conversation, Jaime and Euron have a heated tet-a-tet–Euron suggests that Cersei should try killing her brother, like he did, and she should get her a man with TWO hands *SNORT*)

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

For Samwell, time at the Citadel isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Rather than soaking up knowledge, she spends his time cleaning, caring for the sick (AKA cleaning bedpans), serving, and shelving books. During a session with an Archmaester, Sam tries to argue that he doesn’t have time to waste, afterall, winter is here! Shouldn’t he be in the libraries trying to find what will save them all. While the Archmaester believes Sam has seen the Army of the Dead, he’s less in a hurry. Despite the end of the Targaryens, the Long Night, and a host of other calamities, the world has survived: “The Wall has stood through it all. And every winter that ever came has ended.”

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Sam, in his impatience, steals a key to the restricted area of the library and takes a book,v”Legends of he Long Night”. As he’s reading the book (with Gilly and Little Sam), Sam learns that Dragonstone is built upon a mountain of dagonglass. And if this is the case, you can bet that a Jon/Dany alliance is forthcoming ASAP! The next day on his rounds to assist the sick, someone reaches out for Sam and demands to know if the Dragon Queen has arrived. It’s Ser Jorah, and judging by his hand that greyscale is getting much worse. But if anyone can help him, it’s the maesters at the Citadel, right? Sam is taken aback, but responds that he hasn’t heard anything about Dany’s arrival.

We then flash to Dany (with Tyrion, Grey Worm, Missandei, and Varys) arriving at Dragonstone. This is an extremely emotional moment for Dany and for us… the music certainly reflects the gravitas. Dany even touches the sand on the beach with such reverance. I cannot imagine what she’s feeling. Dany hasn’t been at Dragonstone since she was a baby. This is her ancestral home, her past and future. This is the place from where she will launch her plan to reclaim her birthright and destiny. I am still SO SHOOK. When Dany enters the throneroom, she tears down a Baratheon banner (recall that Stannis had been living at Dragonstone). Dany makes her way to what looks like a war room, with only Tyrion with her. She stands at the head of the table (a giant map of Westeros), and says her first words: “Shall we begin?”

Yes, my Dragon Queen and my Khalessi. YES, we shall begin!

  In this week’s episode “Stormborn” (Written for television by Bryan Cogman, directed by Mark Mylod):

Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) receives an unexpected visitor. Jon (Kit Harington) faces a revolt. Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) plans the conquest of Westeros. (via HBO)

Maybe the Dany/Jon meeting is coming sooner than previously anticipated. Also, if Tyrion is plotting the conquest of Westeros, I’m thinking the first stop is Casterly Rock!

From the teaser trailer and extended preview (released after the Game of Thrones SDCC 2017 panel), you can tell that “Stormborn” is going to be action-packed. The preview images also provide more insight. When Jon gets that message from Jon about Dragonstone and the dragonglass, he will likely push for an alliance, and it seems his bannermen will push back. Littleginger might even try to involve himself in the decision-making. With that said, a Jon/Dany meeting might be coming real soon, anyway, especially if Melisandre has anything to say about it.

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

Courtesy of Helen Sloan/HBO

    “Stormborn” airs Sunday, July 23 at 9/8c on HBO!

RECAP: ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 7 Premiere “Dragonstone” Arya completes her revenge against the Freys, while Jon, Cersei, and Dany prepare for their wars. Full recap of Game of Thrones Season 7 premiere, "Dragonstone," plus preview episode 2 "Stormborn".