#I know people who I trust who swore blind that they had strange things happened to them near the cave

[marzipanandminutiae]

Growing up in middle Tennessee like

I don’t know what’s going on with the whole Bell Witch thing, and some of the sources were probably made up over the years, but you will never catch me saying wholesale that it’s not true

[ro-is-struggling]

Always || Remus Lupin x Reader {marauders era}

Summary: After discovering that he is in love with his best friend, Remus does what he does best: run away. Blinded by fear of rejection for his condition, he decides it's best to push Y/N away before she can hurt him. It's what he's done all his life to protect himself from people's judgment. But after seeing the pain and confusion in the young girl's eyes Remus begins to wonder if it was really a good idea.

i suck at summaries and titles i'm sorry

Warnings: mentions to insecurities, Remus is afraid of the reader's reaction to his lycanthropy so he pushes her away and is kinda mean at one pont, angst, hurt/comort, fluff

English is not my first language

Word count: 5000

Remus had always been a shy boy. Due to his condition he learned at a very young age that he was not like everybody else and that not everybody would accept him for who he really was. The only thing he could do to protect himself from people's rejection was to hide inside himself, isolate himself so as not to give anyone a chance to hurt him. That wasn't what he told himself, though. In his mind, Remus pushed everyone away to protect them from him and the horrible monster he turned into every full moon. For some reason admitting to himself that this was a defense mechanism against people's prejudices was very difficult for him. 

As a result, making friends was something he had struggled with for as long as he could remember. He wasn't very good at opening up to people. Even when he met the marauders, his best friends and the only people he had ever trusted with his biggest secret, he had found it difficult to trust them. His first instinct had always been to run away from anyone who showed interest in him. That was easier than facing the pain that rejection would cause him once they learned the truth. Trusting James, Sirius and Peter enough to be himself when he was with them had taken him time, and he could only manage it because his attempts to get away from them repeatedly failed. 

However, when Remus met Y/N he felt an instant connection. He had seen her occasionally in the halls of the school and in some classes they shared, but he had never spent time with her before they ended up together on a project for potions class. It was then that they started spending more time together and Remus got a chance to really get to know her. And to his surprise he felt at ease when they were together. She was a nice, sweet girl, and she made him feel comfortable just with her presence.

That was something that didn't happen to him often. He was usually terrible at relating to other people. All that went through his mind was the fear of being discovered, of rejection, but for some reason when he was with Y/N his thoughts never took him to that dark corner of his mind. Remus didn't know how to explain it, it was like they had a special connection. She made him feel good, enough to be himself in front of her. 

When he mentioned his strange feeling to his friends one rainy afternoon while they were all bored in their shared room, Sirius was the first to point out that he was probably in love with her. Remus laughed in disbelief and denied such an accusation. James then joined in on his friend's statements, telling him about how he felt when he was around Lily Evans, who he swore was the love of his life. James ended up talking about his feelings for Lily for the rest of the afternoon, venting his love frustrations on his friends once again. As much as Remus assured them that what he felt for Y/N was nothing like what James narrated in such detail, the truth was that he wasn't entirely sure.

And that same night, he found himself tossing and turning in his bed unable to sleep, going over his friend's words in his mind, carefully analyzing his feelings. He only managed to fall asleep after repeating to himself over and over again that he was not in love with his friend, practically forcing himself to believe it. 

Then morning came, and sitting in the large dining room eating breakfast, his heart skipped a beat when his eyes found Y/N in the crowd of students. He was unable to contain a smile, the muscles in his face twitching involuntarily, betraying him as they exposed just how strong his feelings for her were. Y/N smiled back and walked over to him. Remus noticed a special gleam in her eyes and was mesmerized as he watched her hair move, dancing in the air as she hurried to get to him. And that's how he knew his friends were right. As much as he wanted to deny it, the truth was that he was in love with Y/N.

That revelation frightened him because it meant that Y/N now had the power to hurt him, a power that not many other people had. He feared her rejection. He didn't want to lose her. He knew that eventually she would discover his secret, it was only a matter of time. There was a limit to the lies and ridiculous excuses he could make up to explain his mysterious disappearances or the discomfort that afflicted him near the full moon. All who spent enough time around him ended up discovering the truth and she would be no exception. 

Terrified by those thoughts, Remus did the only thing he thought he could do to fix his situation, the one thing that had always worked for him: escape. In his mind getting away from Y/N sounded better than having to face the pain of her rejection. So that's what he did. 

He started small, finding excuses not to spend time with her after school and making sure he had other partners to work with in the subjects they shared. He could see the surprise and hurt in her eyes at his sudden behavior and it broke his heart. But every time he felt the urge to run to her he reminded himself the reason for his action and forced himself to suppress his feelings. He had to get away from her now or he would regret it later.

The first time Y/N noticed that something was wrong with Remus was in a Potions class. When she saw him enter the classroom accompanied by James, Sirius and Peter their eyes met for a moment. She smiled at him, greeting him with a wave of her hand, and to her surprise Remus looked away without so much as a grimace. Then he sat down next to his friends as far away from her as possible. Y/N thought that was strange, but tried not to make a big deal out of it. Maybe Remus was just having a bad morning, it wouldn't be the first time. 

But the next week she noticed that he had stopped talking to her in class. And not long after that he stopped attending her study sessions. They no longer walked around Hogsmeade together like they used to. They barely saw each other in class and barely spoke—only if it was necessary.

Y/N's first reaction was to think that she had done something wrong. Had she forgotten Remus' birthday? No, they had thrown him a party. Maybe she had inadvertently said something offensive and he was upset with her for it? Or maybe she forgot about some other important date?

The more time passed, the more desperate she became to find the reason for her friend's sudden behavior. What had she done wrong?

After much thought, and long talks with her friends, she came to the conclusion that she was not the problem. She hadn't done anything wrong, not that she knew of at least. And if she had, the reasonable thing to do would be to talk about it like the good friends they were, not disappear and wait for her to realize her mistake on her own. So, soon the angst that had accompanied Y/N the last few weeks began to turn to anger. If Remus didn't want to be her friend anymore she had no problem letting him go, but she deserved to hear it from his lips first. And considering he wasn't willing to talk to her then she would have to force him to talk about it. 

Determined to get an answer from her so-called friend, Y/N left her room in search of Remus. She didn't care if she had to go all over Hogwarts to find him, she would gladly waste her afternoon if it meant she would finally get answers. To her luck, the marauders were a very noisy and disruptive group of boys so it didn't take her long to find them. They were hanging out together, laughing loudly enough to be heard from yards away, sitting in the courtyard under the shade of a large tree. Remus was sitting with his back leaning against the tree, an open book in his lap that he was no longer paying attention to because he was listening to his friends talking nonsense.

Seeing him there, quiet and laughing while she was freaking out with each passing day because of him made Y/N's blood flare even more with rage. Angrily, she quickly approached the group of friends and planted her feet on the grass determinedly glaring at Remus while crossing her arms. The laughter suddenly ceased and curious glances from James, Sirius and Peter traveled from the young woman to her friend a couple of times before she spoke.

"Can we talk?" she asked in a sharp tone. 

"I'm in the middle of something, can we do it later?" excused Remus.

"No, I'd rather talk now. I won't take up too much of your time." The tension could be felt in the air. Y/N had her eyes fixed on Remus, watching him intently. He on the other hand was visibly uncomfortable and everything in his expression indicated that he wanted to run away from there. 

"Well, we'll leave you two alone to talk." said James after a few long, uncomfortable seconds of silence. "We'll wait for you in the common room." he warned Remus before getting up from the grass and dragging his other friends with him. 

Remus got up from the ground as well, closing the book in his lap and clinging to it tightly. 

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked her even though he already knew the answer.

"You're really asking me that?" she replied offended. "Are you going to act like you don't know what happened or explain to me what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me." Remus lied. 

"So you've been accidentally avoiding me this whole time?"

"I haven't been avoiding you. "

"I'm not stupid, Remus!" Y/N exclaimed in frustration, drawing the stares of the other students around her. "I don't know what's wrong with you or if I did something to upset you, but I think at least I deserve an explanation." She continued, lowering her tone of voice a little. "I thought we were friends. You can talk to me, Remus."

"That's the thing, w-we're n-not... we're not friends."

"What?"

"We're not friends." Remus repeated once more, breaking Y/N's heart and his own into a thousand pieces. "We work well together in class and you're nice but we're not friends, just classmates, and I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm sorry if you thought otherwise."

Y/N didn't know what to say. She could feel the tears building up in her eyes, but she didn't want to let them out, not in front of Remus. She wanted to scream at him that he was lying, that they were really friends and that she hadn't misunderstood their relationship. Before all this happened she spent more time with him than she did with her own friends. He couldn't tell her now that it was all her invention. But instead of telling him what she really thought, she just kept quiet and pursed her lips. If for some reason he didn't want to be her friend then she would leave him alone.

"Well, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." she finally said, fighting the lump that had formed in her throat.

And without further ado she walked away from Remus letting the tears fall once she was far enough away from him. The hurtful words he had said to her echoed in her mind. She couldn't believe he was capable of saying something like that to her. She was aware that their relationship was relatively new and that their friendship didn't compare to the one he had with James, Sirius and Peter, but that didn't mean it was non-existent. They had spent a lot of time together, shared long and meaningful talks and she felt a connection with him, a spark that until now she believed to be mutual. They got along wonderfully, so why did Remus suddenly feel the need to say those things to her? Something was wrong. Y/N had come to him for answers but ended up with more questions than she initially had. 

But as weird as the whole situation was to her, Remus had made it clear to her that he didn't want her around and she would respect his wishes. If he didn't want to be her friend then she would stop looking for him after school or inviting him for a walk around Hogsmeade. She wasn't going to chase him around the school and beg for his attention, she didn't have the time or patience for that. If he really cared for her then he would seek her out and apologize, wouldn't he?

The days that followed turned out to be very hard for Remus not only because the full moon was getting closer and closer (only a few hours away to be more exact) but also because of how bad he felt about what he had said to Y/N. He thought things would get easier as time went by, that he would get used to her absence eventually, but nothing was further from the truth. He felt miserable and every time he closed his eyes he could see the look of surprise and pain on Y/N's face when he said those things to her. 

She hadn't approached him again after that last conversation and despite the fact that that was exactly what a part of him wanted, he didn't give up hope that she would fight for his friendship. It was stupid and pointless, but he could do nothing against the desires of his heart. He admired her from afar in class and in the great dining hall when she was not aware of it. He missed her so much and wanted to run to apologize for what he had said to her, but he couldn't do that without explaining his special condition to her. And that was something he wasn't prepared to do. 

His friends could tell the change in Remus's mood. They knew the cause, having secretly overheard their friend's talk with Y/N, but they didn't know what to do to help him. They had told him it was a stupid idea as soon as they discovered his plan to push her away from him. Personally none of them believed that Y/N was going to reject him because of his condition. They didn't know her very well, but from what they had heard she seemed to be a nice, sweet and understanding girl. They doubted she would stay away from Remus if she found out about his lycanthropy. But they weren't able to convince him of that. And now they had to see their friend completely devastated over losing the girl he loved because of his own stupidity.

"Well, maybe he knows what he's doing. After all, lycanthropy is a stigmatized condition." Sirius said, adding to his friends' discussion of what to do to help Remus.

"That's a good point, he lived all these years being a werewolf he must be acting on his experience." Chimed in Peter agreeing with Sirius.

"Yes, that's true. But don't forget that he also feared our reaction to his condition." Spoke James. "Remember how he used to be so secretive and quiet and look at us now! We tell each other everything, we know about his lycanthropy and we help him in the process. He was wrong about us and he may be wrong about Y/N too."

"James is right! He was wrong about us." Said Peter, agreeing with his other friend now. Sirius rolled his eyes at his comment, tired of Peter always supporting every word that came out of James' mouth. 

"I thought you were on my side, traitor" Sirius blurted out in a mocking tone. Peter couldn't respond because they were interrupted by the sound of the bedroom door opening, revealing Remus on the other side carrying a stack of library books in his hands. 

"Your side for what?" he asked propping the things up on his bed. "What did I miss?

"Nothing important." James was quick to say. "We're running late for Quidditch practice anyway, aren't we Sirius?"

"Right, practice! I almost forgot."

"We better get going, we'll be back in an hour and then we'll finish planning everything for tonight, yeah?"

Without another word James and Sirius left the room heading for the Quidditch field. The training took half an hour longer than they expected, but they still had plenty of time to finish planning their escape from the castle to accompany their friend on his night of transformation. They were trying to be very discreet about it and use different routes every month. Luckily they had the marauder's map ready to help them with any inconvenience they might encounter in the corridors of Hogwarts.

As they walked back to their dormitories James noticed Y/N walking down the corridors in the opposite direction to them. As he saw her an idea popped into his head. He wasn't really sure if it was a good one, but he had to do something to help his friend. 

"Hey, Y/N wait up!" he suddenly shouted to get her attention.

"What are you doing?" asked Sirius. "Don't you think this is something Remus has to sort out for himself?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to help him out a little."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said in confusion, but James didn't answer him. Instead, he walked forward towards the young woman who had stopped walking in the middle of the corridor after he called out her name.

"James?" inquired the confused Y/N. "What's up?

"I wanted to talk to you about Remus."

"I don't have anything to tell you about him."

"I know, but I do." said James. "I heard about what happened between you two..."

"Then you know why I'm not interested in whatever it is you have to say about him." she interrupted him.

"I know things between you two ended badly, I just wanted you to know that Remus is going through a difficult time. Those things he said aren't really his words, that's fear talking. He had a bit of an intense week, but hopefully once this passes and his mind clears he'll realize the mistake he made."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I hope he apologizes to you and I want you to give him a second chance when he does. He's happy when he's with you and I don't want him to lose everything over something stupid."

After those words James went chasing after Sirius, leaving Y/N really confused. She felt that there was a hidden message behind what he had said to her, as if he indirectly wanted to explain to her the cause of Remus' strange behavior. She couldn't stop thinking about it, even lying in her bed in the dark of night. Remus was scared, but of what? He was having a bad week, going through a difficult time... What was it that he wasn't telling her?

Her mind kept flashing back to every little detail of their meetings and talks in a desperate attempt to find the answers to her questions. Maybe she would be able to put the puzzle together and finally understand what was going on. She had all the pieces, she just had to fit them together in the right order.

Suddenly, an idea formed in her mind and then it all made sense. His behavior, his fear, the difficult time he was going through, the reason he had wanted to get away from her... it all fit together perfectly. The clues had been right in front of her eyes all this time and she had never been able to connect them. She felt bad for him, fully understanding the reasons why he had acted the way he had, and regretted being so hard on him, demanding answers when he wasn't having the right time to give them.

Before falling into the arms of morpheus, Y/N promised herself that the first thing she would do in her free time tomorrow would be to seek him out and apologize. She needed to let him know that she would always be there for him, ready to support him no matter what. She loved him dearly and nothing in the world would change her feelings, and it was time Remus knew that.

The next morning seemed to drag on forever. Classes never seemed to end, each hour passing slower than the last, as if the teachers knew she was in a hurry and spoke in slow motion to waste her time. She didn't see Remus in any of the classes they shared, though she didn't really expect him there. Her friends did attend classes, though they looked very tired. Y/N then wondered if they didn't sleep all night to wait for Remus. 

When their last class was over, Y/N was the first to leave the classroom. Anxious to see Remus, she picked up her pace and dodged the large crowd of students walking the halls. During the course of the day she had kept her eyes glued on James, Sirius and Peter in the hope that they would point her to where Remus would be. That's how she knew she had to head towards the infirmary as she noticed the group of gryffindors sneaking in there more than once between classes. After what she imagined Remus had had to go through the night before it wasn't too far fetched to think that he was in the infirmary. 

Once there, she managed to get in without a problem since Madam Pomfrey wasn't at the entrance to greet her. She only had to follow the sound of laughter to find the bed where Remus was lying surrounded by all his friends. He looked a little tired and Y/N was pretty sure he had a couple of new scratches on his face and neck. But he was laughing all the same and his eyes were sparkling with happiness at being surrounded by the people he loved.

"I thought I might find you here." said the young woman clearing her throat to get Remus' attention.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised and somewhat alarmed.

"Can we talk?"

A silence fell in the room as Y/N and Remus simply looked into each other's eyes. She could tell the fear in his gaze and it broke her heart at the mere thought that he felt he had to hide part of his life from her in order to be accepted. 

"We'll leave you two alone." said James getting up from his spot to leave, but not before whispering to his friend to calm down and that everything was going to be okay. Y/N smiled warmly and waited for everyone to leave the room before approaching Remus.

"Can I sit here?" she asked him in a soft tone as she pointed to the chair located next to the bed.

"Y-yes, sure, sit down."

She did and then silence took over the room again. Y/N had had all morning to think about what to say to him once she saw him but now that she was in front of him she didn't really know how to begin. Should she be direct and tell him that she knew about his secret or should she pretend and wait until he felt ready to tell her? Should she apologize for pushing him or should she tell him that she understood him and wasn't mad for the things he had said to her? Were her assumptions about him accurate or was it all a product of her imagination?

She was nervous. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and her stomach was turning, but she had to do this. She wanted to let him know that she would always be there for him if he gave her a chance. And for that she had to open her mouth and start talking, so she took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves and let her heart do the rest.

"I wanted to talk to you because I didn't like the way things turned out between us. I know you said we're not friends, but I think that's all bullshit." She began, gaining more confidence with every word that came out of her mouth. "I care about you and I know you care about me too. We have a great time when we're together. I don't care whatever it was that led you to say those things the other day...I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you, to support you, always." She said sincerely. "I don't need you to tell me everything that goes through your mind, but I don't want you to lie to me either. You don't have to lie to me. Just tell me 'I'm sad' and I'll be there to hold you while you cry even if you don't tell me why."

"Don't say that." interrupted Remus speaking almost in a whisper. "You don't know what you're saying. You wouldn't say the same thing if... " his voice was cut off by the anguish he was feeling and he thought it best to stop talking before he revealed too much.

"I do know what I'm saying, that's why I'm saying it." she replied. "You don't have to hide from me, there's nothing in this world that can change the way I feel about you, Remus."

Y/N rested her hand on his and gripped it gently, tracing imaginary figures on it with her thumb. She looked at him with a soft gaze, trying to convey reassurance and to make him understand with her gestures that what she was saying was true. She noticed Remus's eyes glistening with the accumulated tears he probably refused to let out and her heart clenched in her chest. No one in the world should be so afraid to be themselves in front of others. He was a wonderful guy who wouldn't let anyone really know him for fear of rejection and that was really sad. 

"Y-you know about m-me?"

"Yes, Remus, I do. I know why you're here and I couldn't care less." she assured him. "Well, not exactly. I care about your health and well-being but only that, not what you think I care about." 

"Since when do you know?"

"Since last night. James said something to me that got me thinking and then a while later I realized what was really wrong with you. I'm surprised I didn't notice it sooner, it was actually kind of obvious. I guess I never noticed the phases of the moon whenever you mysteriously disappeared or something happened to you."

They both let out a small laugh at that last comment. This time when they looked into each other's eyes Y/N could notice a special glow in his. A glow she could only describe as happiness and relief, as if a great weight was lifted off his back. 

"So you don't think I'm a monster or are afraid to be around me?"

"I think you're a great guy and I love you very much, Remus. Never doubt that."

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you the other day."

"You don't have to apologize." 

"I do because I behaved poorly when you hadn't done anything to me. The truth is that when we started talking I didn't think you would end up meaning so much to me. When I realized how much I loved you I got scared because all I could think about was that you would hate me if you knew the truth about me. And instead of facing my feelings I just ran away from them and hurt you in the process. So I'm sorry." 

"It's okay, I'm not mad. Well, not now that I know why you did what you did. I understand you, you didn't know how I was going to react. You don't have to explain yourself, living in such fear of being yourself because of something out of your control must be very difficult. I just want you to know that you don't have to hide with me anymore." She soothed him with a smile.

"Thank you, dove. I'm glad to know I can count on you." Remus told her, bringing the hand that was still entwined between his own to his lips to plant a delicate kiss. 

The use of the nickname he only used with her brought a warm smile to her face and awakened the butterflies in her stomach. "Thank you for trusting me. But please do me a favor."

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll never do anything like this to me again because all the time we spent apart was horrible."

"I promise from now on I'll be straightforward and honest with you." he assured her. Remus raised his pinky finger at her with a smile worthy of a five year old. Y/N let out a slight laugh, but played along, raising her pinky finger too and intertwining it with his to seal the promise.  "What do you say we have a picnic by the lake to make up for the lost time as soon as I get out of here?"

"I think that's a great idea."

[janiedean]

Prompt. Book canon setting. Jaime can hear Brienne's thoughts.

*spins wheel* LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH THIS ONE and sorry for the lateness anon!!

warnings: set during asos/the road trip so expect what canon offered including the attempted rape scene

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--

He doesn't hear her until -

Until sometime after they hack the hand off.

He doesn't know when he realizes for sure because he's too fucking out of it, but when Shagwell says that stupid fucking line about the two of them being lovers while they were chained to each other on the horse and wondering who out of the two of them is the knight and the maiden, he clearly hears her saying you wouldn't know a true knight if Arthur Dayne himself vouched for them and for a moment he wonders if she's gone mad, but -

But no one does or says anything about it.

Which - they hit them more than once if they tried to speak out of turn, or at least they hit her, he was entirely beyond it, so it's fucking weird, because that kind of thing shouldn't - it's too bloody forward, and then whatever I thought of him sure as the Seven Hells he's a better one than the whole bloody lot of them, and -

He wonders, deliriously, if she swears that much all the time, and then he realizes no one actually came up to them to do anything about it.

But he heard it.

Loud and clear.

Is he going mad?

He doesn't know.

He passes out a short while later, smelling the stench of his own rotting hand, and thanking his blessing that at least the wench is fucking warm, isn't she?

--

He had thought that was the worst he could smell in his entire life.

After vomiting the damned horse piss they gave him to drink, he decides that maybe he'll reconsider it, and - for a moment he can just taste the damned vomit on his tongue and he knows it's all over him and in between that and the remains of what he drank on his tongue he feels like retching all over again, and then he realizes in utter humiliation that it's not the only thing that smells foul on him as they laugh and laugh and laugh, and then someone tells the wench that they're not going farther if he smells like his own shit, too, and he's sure he hears her saying if only I could steal a sword, but - but he has to be making that up. She can't have said it. She can't have said it -

And they do nothing as she says she'll need her hands free and she comes close to him, and he can barely look at her but then she opens her mouth as she gently brings him close to the river and tells him to drink some water from her cupped hand before she starts cleaning the vomit off his beard, and he's halfway delirious with how much he wants to retch again -

No one deserves that, he hears the wench say, and he turns to her to ask her if she's gone mad -

No one deserves that and I can't even imagine how he's -, he hears, and she has her mouth closed.

He saw that. There is no way she actually spoke. And then she motions for him to lay down on the ground and oh fuck she has to change his smallclothes doesn't she and he just wants to fucking bury himself in the ground - he knows she's done that before, he sort of felt it even if he was passed-out half of the time, but now he's awake for it and he just wants to shrink away from her as she gently undoes his trousers and lowers him into the water -

I failed my vow, he hears, but if that's how I can keep what's left of it, fine. Fine.

She -

She thinks she did what?

And that's when it hits him.

If she's not speaking but he's hearing her and he hasn't gone mad -

Is he hearing her thoughts?

And -

And he was sure she loathed him. What is she even on about when it comes to failing her fucking vow?

He wishes he could figure that out.

It hurts too much, though, and he lets himself pass out, but the fact that she's holding him up as he does somehow -

Somehow makes it less worse than the other times.

--

No, no, stop, he hears when he tries to steal that sword and what a lot of good it did to him, and - is she talking to him or them, he doesn't know, but he can't waste time with it, not when he has to try and fight his way out - except that he doesn't, and then he trips over the damned rock while the others laugh, but Brienne doesn't, and Shagwell comes close and kisses him on the damned head and he wants to retch just at the feeling and -

Can't they leave him alone, just leave him alone, he doesn't deserve it, no one deserves it, he has more guts in him than you all and how dare you even do this Lady Catelyn trusted me with his safety and I can barely do anything what are they thinking what are they thinking he doesn't he doesn't oh but I'm watching them, let them think I'm harmless but the moment I can act I will I will I will I can't fail my vows like this not for the second time not now -

Rorge kicks the sword away from him.

He lets them throw him back on the horse.

There is no way he has hallucinated her thinking about fucking Catelyn Stark.

He closes his eyes and lets himself pass out - he can't deal with this.

He can't he can't he can't -

--

"Jaime."

He's halfway sure she did speak, now. Because she's not being loud and clear. She's whispering and he's looking up at the night sky wondering why would such pretty stars look down on such as him, and then -

"Jaime, what are you doing?"

Oh.

Yes.

She is talking to him. And - calling him by his damned name? What the -

Well, no point in lying now.

"Dying," he blurts, and then -

No no no he shouldn't not for this not because of them oh no no no I can't fail him like this I can't fail my lady like this I swore I'd bring him to King's Landing and it wouldn't - no no it's not fair it's not fair I can't I can't I can't -

She sounds pretty damn panicked, he thinks, and then -

“No,” Brienne on, “no, you must live.”

“Stop telling me what do, wench. I’ll die if it pleases me," he blurts, and -

No, no, that's not - he can't, he can't die like this, and no one - he might have slayed his king but not even he deserves this, that's beyond - I can't let him give up I just can't he shouldn't he shouldn't gods what will piss him off enough to do it what would -

What is she even -

"Are you so craven?" She blurts, and -

"What else can I do, but die?" He blurts back, and he's - he's not even - he would have been angered if he hadn't known but just the fact that she knew calling him a coward would have at least made him angry is making his head spin, and -

Oh yes yes good that's better -

"Live. Live, fight and take revenge," she says, and then Rorge hears them before he can answer -

“You will hold your bloody tongue if you want to keep it, bitch,” he shouts in her face, “or do you want it around your neck like his hand?”

He starts kicking her in the stomach and she moans in pain, but -

But -

I don't care I don't care I don't care I can take it I took worse I took a lot bloody worse than this as long as he lives I don't care and at least he's kicking me and not him I can take it I can I can I can -

He -

He swallows, closing his eyes while her pained moans fill his ears.

He doesn't go to sleep that night. Not really.

--

It's just -

He tries to think about it while she goddamned changes his soiled smallclothes so he doesn't have to look at her in shame and he can hear her thinking that it's the least she could do and she'll see him through it if it kills her.

She -

She was -

She loathed him. He knew she did. It was obvious. Maybe this is just... compassion or something like that, but - but she certainly isn't letting that stop her from making this entire fucking ordeal less bad than it could be, for what it's worth, and he can't help thinking, now for all she fancies herself a knight she's keeping her word isn't she, and he feels a lump in his throat as she ties back his breeches around his waist and helps him to the horse, again.

She's gentle, when she pulls him up on it.

Gentler than anyone else has been while handling him in - he doesn't know how long.

Please live until we reach safety, she thinks, and he almost falls off the horse at how sad she sounded. Please please please. I have to bring you to King's Landing. I swore I'd keep you safe. I can't do more than this. Please just live.

Fucking Seven Hells.

She meant it, when she swore her lady that dumb vows, didn't she.

Fuck.

Fuck, he is her damned vow, and -

His head spins just at the thought.

He's just - he's not going to go further down that road. He's not. But he can't lie to himself about how sincere she sounds, and anyway if he's hearing her thoughts because of some stupid weird strange magic then she couldn't be lying, could she?

Fuck.

Fuck, she really does believe in oaths, doesn't she?

--

He probably asked for it, ranting about Aerys the closer to Harrenhal they got.

He hears her wondering is there something he's not telling people, because this makes no sense, not with how he sounds, not with what everyone knows, why does he sound so sad, why oh I hope he's not going mad what if he does but could I blame him if he did, and then Rorge is back kicking him in the stump and making him scream and -

I want to kill him with my bare hands, she thinks, I want to kill him with my bare damned hands god stop it can't you see he's harmless and just because of you bastards stop stop stop this is just too cruel this is too cruel why why why -

Well, he thinks before he passes out again, the pain in his wrist too blinding, at least she didn't loathe him so much she'd be glad of this.

Oh, he knew, but -

But the idea that someone wants to kill this man just because he's hurting him just -

It doesn't -

People don't want to take revenge on anyone for him, he's the one who usually -

It just doesn't -

Everything goes black.

--

When he hears the whole lot of them talking about who's taking the front and the back, he knows what they're planning.

Thing is -

I knew it was going to happen. Very well then. They'll get a fight. I'm not letting them have me easily. Fuck all, maybe I should have just let that bastard Hyle Hunt have it when they did that bet, at least it wouldn't be with any of them -

He's -

He's not going to even think about what she meant with the bet, he's too out of it, but -

She wants to fight all of them? From what he's seen she would, but -

He thinks of Queen Rhaella screaming and screaming behind that door and he couldn't do anything and she didn't fight and survived enough to birth a daughter, but - but these pieces of shit will hack her into pieces if she does and for some reason he just can't -

Not when she cares enough to -

“Wench,” he tries, “Let them have their meat, and you go far away,” he keeps on. “It will be over quicker, and they’ll get less pleasure from it.”

What the hell is he up to? What does he even care? She shakes her head. Oh, fucking stubborn wench -

“They’ll get no pleasure from what I’ll give them,” she replies. If this is how I lose my maidenhead then I'm not just letting them take it. And what does he even mean? I can't go anywhere. Far away? What does he even mean?

Oh, damn it. She doesn't get it. She won't handle it. She might be good but it will break her and if she fights it it'll just break her more, he saw it happen, he fucking saw it happen, he can't let them do it again, he can't -

“Let them do it, and go away inside." What might convince her anyway? "Think of Renly, if you loved him. Think of Tarth, mountains and seas, pools, waterfalls, whatever you have on your Sapphire Isle, think…" He keeps on talking, but then she shakes her head again, and -

As if Renly ever wanted me like that. I know he didn't. And I don't know what does he care but I can't. I handled - I handled this all my fucking life, I'll live. I knew it could happen. I'll break a few noses before they even try.

He was about to press, but then Rorge shows up and tells her that she's the ugliest woman he's ever seen -

As if I haven't heard that all my life, she scoffs in her head, and Jaime's stomach is curling on itself and he realizes he's going to have to watch them do it -

“But don’t think I can’t make you uglier. You want a nose like mine? Fight me, and you’ll get one. And two eyes, that’s too many. One scream out o’ you, and I’ll pop one out and make you eat it, and then I’ll pull your fucking teeth out one by one.”

And then he hears the thought, so clear, so fucking loud that he almost screams at hearing it -

not my eyes, they’re the only part of me other people seem to not think ugly

- and then she shakes her head and glares back at him, and when Shagwell talks about fucking her up the arse she thinks well, at least I won't have to see him while he does, and -

Oh no no no no he can't watch it happen, he can't watch it happen by sitting here and do nothing not like this not when she sounded like she was about to cry thinking about losing those pretty eyes of hers -

Maybe -

Maybe he can -

“There’s a funny fool,” he says, his own voice sounding so calm it almost freaks him out. “I have a riddle for you, Shagwell. Why do you care if she screams? Oh, wait, I know.”

No, no, no, you are a fool, what are you doing, he’s going to kill you — he hears Brienne think, but he can't care less, not now -

“Sapphires," he shouts, and -

Well.

The pain in his wrist when Rorge kicks it is entirely worth knowing he won't have to watch her being raped in front of him without even a door in the middle.

--

She's quiet for the rest of the day, but not to him.

No one else ever did what he just has, she thinks.

No other man ever -

Those bastards at Renly's camp wanted to - and he was the one -

How could I have misjudged him so badly -

What is he even hiding it makes no sense he can't be as horrible as he likes everyone to presume -

He saved me he saved me he saved me -

How could - I was supposed to keep him safe and he saved me oh gods he did -

When she finally talks, and asks him in a thin voice, calling him by his name, why did he do it, he lies. Makes up something about wanting Vargo Hoat to say thappireth, about it being a repayment for her helping him escape Riverrun at the end of it, and he can only hear what she's not saying.

I could have handled it, I always have, he was a true knight oh gods he was one, and -

I have a debt to you, too, she thinks, and his stomach lurches, but not in the bad way.

Gods.

She really is... everything she looks like, isn't she?

--

He does try to goad her in the tub.

If only to not think about how she's thinking something about having completely failed all over while she scrubs herself, but it's so angry and garbled he can barely make sense of it, and then she shrinks back from him, and -

"Does the sight of my stump distress you so?" He asks, attempting to goad her more, and then she flinches and -

I can't look at it because it's - the proof I failed you, I said I'd bring you back whole from King's Landing and here's what happened and I could barely - I mean, I did what I could but I said I'd keep you safe I swore I did I swore Lady Catelyn I would and is he trying to make me feel bad about it, is it how he's taking revenge on me, not that I can blame him but I tried oh I tried please -

He was abut to tell her something about Renly to goad her further.

He -

He can't.

"I'm sorry," he says, and when she looks at him like she can't believe him, he shrugs again. “I’m a maimed man, and bitter. Forgive me, wench. You protected me as well as any man could have, and better than most.”

What is he apologizing now why would he it makes no sense gods I don't know what to make of him anyone else wouldn't be meaning this does he mean it I don't know I don't know -

"Do you mock me?" She replies, feebly, and -

He can't even be angry at her after that. She really.... is that guarded, is't she? And if - if people bet on her maidenhead, presumably, from what he gathered, can he even blame her?

"No," he says, "I want a truce. And I meant it."

"Truces are built on trust. Should I trust -"

"The kingslayer?" He finishes for her.

I meant different - she starts thinking, but then -

Then he can't shut his mouth and before he knows it he's told her everything when he never told anyone else and he can hear her thinking oh oh oh it makes sense oh it adds up oh but why hasn't he told why hasn't he said oh gods oh gods I knew he was hiding something, and -

And when he almost faints and she catches him, gently, gentler than Cersei ever was -

I couldn't on the road but there is no way I'm leaving him to suffer now, she thinks, and then no one will answer if I call for help, but if - I won't - I don't want to say it -

She asks help for the kingslayer.

But that's not his name, she thinks, and he thinks he's crying as he passes out.

--

He hadn't wanted to leave her behind.

The moment he did, he felt like - he should have been happy, he was going back to Cersei, why wouldn't he be, except that he thinks about how she said goodbye and told him that she hoped he'd keep their vow and he could hear I completely failed but if he's - if he's the way I think he can be maybe he will do it even if I couldn't and just - he thought Arthur Dayne was the best knight he ever knew but the wench fucking buys it, believes it deep down, she fucking means it and everyone else - everyone else was more of a hoax than he has been, he knows, he has seen it, but her -

He doesn't think he's ever met anyone who was - who wanted it quite as much, not even himself, and her thoughts were what they were but they made him feel - less alone somehow and now he's surrounded by Bolton men and that fucking Qyburn and he can't hear them but from the way they look at him he can guess what they think, and then -

Then he dreams of her putting herself in between him and his older Kingsguard and looking almost beautiful and all knightly as she held that flaming sword and was as naked as she was in the baths and -

He can't.

He just fucking can't.

He goes back to Harrenhal.

--

He doesn't hear her thoughts until he jumps into the bear pit.

What is he doing here she thinks and oh he had missed her voice in his head fuck didn't he, and he smiles as she calls him Kingslayer but not meaning it at all, he knows she doesn't -

He tells her to get behind him and she protests that he's unarmed, of course she would but then -

why would he come back why why why he was going back to his sister wasn't he he was he said he was he loves her doesn't he he said so why is he here did he come back for me because he thought I was in danger oh god he did it's the second time he does it no one else has ever no one else has ever I always had to do it on my own how how how he is here

He swallows and hopes like mad that Steelshanks does what he's supposed to.

He does.

By the time they're out of the damned pit and Vargo Hoat is seething and she replies with a faint whisper that she's still a maiden when he asks he's ready to just - brush it off, why wouldn't he -

why why why why oh he looks so handsome like this he's everything I thought true knights would be once

Jaime is about to trip on his damned feet, and then -

"Ser Jaime?" She asks, thinly. "I am grateful, but you were well-away. Why come back?"

He could have just - brushed her off. Told a quip. Joked about it as he usually does. Something cruel, so she'd go back to thinking horribly of him, but she's staring at him with those pretty, wide blue eyes as she can't believe he's there and he did come back, and -

maybe he thought it was the honorable thing and oh he does have honor I see it now, but why for me, why for me, who else ever has, I never was that kind of girl, I can't believe he did that for me

Fucking hells. How old is she anyway? Eight and ten? He remembers being almost her age and - having lost all of that goodness she has, all that self-righteousness that everyone needs should they be knights, and she's looking at him like he just walked out of a song -

"I dreamed of you," he says instead, and it's the truth, isn't it -

Oh, she says, men don't dream of me, do they, and -

Fuck.

Fuck.

--

He should avoid her.

He should, because if - if she's falling in love with him and it all points to that then - then it wouldn't - it can't - Cersei would - he can't even begin to quantify it -

But then the Red Wedding happens and he hears her weeping in her tent on the way to King's Landing and he hears it, he hears it -

would ser jaime let me weep on his shoulder or would he think it beneath a true knight now

He's -

He's in her tent before he can think about it and he lets her and she grasps at his shoulders like she can't believe he's real, and then she thanks him in a thin voice and he could leave it at that but then he hears it, he hears it -

I've never known a better man

So loud and clear it's deafening, and he can't even lie to himself anymore, he can't -

He doesn't know who moves first.

What he knows is that they're kissing after a moment of staring at each other and she's whimpering into his mouth while her hands touch his face and the back of his head so gently he wants to weep at it, and is he kissing me is he kissing me oh gods I'm dreaming am I she's thinking and -

He shakes his head and brings his left hand to her cheek, fingers shaking, and he can't - he can't put up the front anymore.

"It's real," he says, and her eyes widen. "Don't worry, wench, you're easy to read. But it's - it's a good thing, I think."

"I - I didn't - I've wanted it since the bath, I think," she admits, and he could have said, I could have known or I suspected or I knew you had wanted it at the bear pit, at least.

"I kissed you first, didn't I?" He replies, and - "And for what it's worth, I want to keep that vow to fucking Catelyn Stark. And you didn't fail your side of it. I mean, I'm alive, am I not?"

"How did you know that - I thought I had?"

"You talk in your sleep," he lies, because he can't tell her that he can still hear her damned thoughts though he might have to later, but -

She tells him that she knows she doesn't expect him to keep on doing this when they reach King's Landing, and kisses him again.

He doesn't stop her.

--

When she walks into his room dressed in blue, the thought hits him so hard he almost staggers.

he looks so handsome like this, oh, I don't know how long it has been but he - he looks like a god, doesn't he, but - he can't want it again, can he -

He tells her to close the door and come closer. He - he didn't think he'd ever do what he's about to, but after the conversation he just had with Cersei -

He didn't need to read her mind to realize a few things he should have realized a long time ago, he thinks.

And then Brienne tells him that white becomes him, and -

It suits him, he looks like he was born for it and honestly he was, maybe now he can -

"I have a proposition for you," he says, and puts the Valyrian sword on the table in between the two of them.

He tells her where that sword comes from. He tells her he wants her to have it so she can look for Sansa Stark because she's his last chance at honor, but then -

"And if you wait for tomorrow to leave, until I free my brother before Cersei has him killed for a crime he didn't commit, I would come with you."

She almost drops the sword.

"You - come with me? But - you're -"

"The new Lord Commander? I am," he says, "but - I think - I thought about a few things. I - I think I'd rather be out there with you and my sister - she's not - she's not the person I remembered." Understatement. "I'll need to make sure a few things are under control here, and I have to make sure Tyrion does his escape, and - a few other matters. But - I'll send Varys to you with the name of one specific inn. Wait for me there. Three days at most and I'll join you. Will you?"

of course I would of course I will oh gods he gave me a valyrian sword he thinks I'm - he thinks I can - he'd come with me - oh gods yes yes yes

"Ser," she bows, "I would. I will wait for your missive."

Then she bows and leaves.

Well then.

Well then.

--

Three days later, he knocks on her door feeling drained inside - that conversation with Tyrion was not... what he had thought it would be and he hopes he has it in himself to forgive him with time, and his uncle hasn't quite realized what he meant to do, but - he made him understand that he should take very good care of the king and to make sure Cersei doesn't become regent, because she - she just isn't a good choice, he can see it now, and now he's tired and -

he came back, Brienne thinks in delight as he opens the door.

Fuck it all.

He kicks it closed and kisses her again, and as she moans into his mouth anew, he decides that he doesn't care what happens from now on.

He always wanted to be Arthur Dayne.

Maybe with her he can be.

End.

[kstewdeux]

For a span of a minute that felt like an eternity, the entire world focused in on one singular point. A small painting. It’s edges well worn. Finer details faded and lost due to the passage of time but otherwise, in shockingly good condition.

But for all it’s antiquity, there was no mistaking the young woman who had been depicted. Whoever wrote the small exhibition label had simply labeled it:

Unidentified Artist, Japanese

Late Tokugawa Shogunate, Edo Period, 1853-1867

Young Woman

Painting on Parchment

H. Nakamura Trust, 88.251

According to the small blurb beneath the exhibition label, this tiny piece of parchment, clearly kept over the past century with meticulous care, had - at some point - apparently been studied by scholars to prove it was genuine. A fact that had been in dispute because the style diverged so greatly from art styles of the period but Kagome knew what the artist had been trying to do.

A photograph. He’d tried to mimic a photograph. Not perfect by any means but as close as someone in that time period could get. Which was shocking given (a) she had no idea he could draw and (b) that he would’ve taken the time to draw her.

Jaw trembling, Kagome had to remind herself to breathe. A task made more difficult as her friends joined her and began commenting on how the girl in the drawing resembled her.

Of course it did. It was her.

Her blurry vision flicked to the date and what registered felt like something cold was crushing her heart. If this ‘unidentified artist’ was him, Inuyasha had survived their quest and lived hundreds of years clearly hoping to see her again. At some point, he must have realized he simply wasn’t going to make it and…

Exhaling shakily, Kagome swallowed and decided it would be easier to simply leave. She was getting worked up over nothing. It was entirely possible that all of this was a coincidence. That she was reading too much into it. After all, Inuyasha wasn’t an artist by any means and most certainly would not have spent hundreds of years thinking about her. They were friends. Just friends. Unless something changed, which seemed unlikely, he had no interest in being with her that way. Besides, surely there were other women who looked like her throughout history. Everyone had a doppelgänger, right? Hers just happened to be some random woman in 19th century Japan.

It was just a painting of her doppelgänger.

Hopefully. Hopefully that’s all that it was.

“I have to go,” Kagome mumbled hoarsely as she took a step back and tore her eyes away from the painting, “I need to go.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Yuka asked worriedly, “Do…”

Unable to hear anything over the ringing in her ears, Kagome’s eyes wavered as they flicked back to the blurb that, upon closer inspection, described the other sketches and accompanying notes that detailed the artist’s ‘love’ for the young woman depicted. Various photographs of said notes had been attached slightly below said blurb and one of them had her shaking her head in mild horror.

‘I will not know your name next time we meet…’

“I need to go,” Kagome repeated breathlessly before turning on her heel and damn near running for the entrance. After that, she wouldn’t’ve been able to tell you how long or far or even which direction she ran from the mental image of an elderly Inuyasha writing out those notes he had to believe she’d never read. It might not even be him. Couldn’t be him. He didn’t draw. Couldn’t say something poetic much less write it. It had to be a coincidence. Just a coincidence but the image continued playing in her mind until she was blinded by tears. He died alone. Even…even if she did end up with him, she would’ve been dead by the time he wrote that. Long before he even picked up that brush. It…it…

It was all becoming too painful to even imagine.

Coming to an abrupt halt, Kagome clutched at her chest and used the side of a cement building for support. Inuyasha died over a hundred years ago and while that made sense, the realization that all her friends had died sometime in the past five hundred years hit her with all the force of a Mack truck.

Whimpering softly, her legs gave out and she slid down to the cold sidewalk. It was a coincidence. Just a coincidence. The probability of it all…

Well it just wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be him. It just…

“There you are,” came a hoarse, relieved whisper from far too close before two strong arms scooped her up and pulled her off the ground, “What happened? I’ve been looking everywhere.”

“Inuyasha?” Kagome mumbled stupidly before she whined and pressed her face into the corner of his neck - a gesture which had him stopping and doing something strange. His face turned slightly and buried his nose into her hair.

“What happened? I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what happened,” he chided anxiously as he gave her a light squeeze, “You hurt?”

Opening her eyes, Kagome glanced around the dimly lit streets and realized how late it was. No wonder he’d come after her.

“M’fine. Got lost is all,” she lied lamely and she felt him inhale deeply then sigh.

“Bullshit. What happened?” he asked again before adding in a clear attempt to get her to smile, “I don’t mind killing people ya know. If someone hurt you, I’ll make them pay, ya know, if you want.”

“Nothing happened. Just got lost on my way home,” she mumbled and with a somewhat exasperated grunt, Inuyasha continued walking again.

“You’re a terrible liar and an idiot,” Inuyasha opined firmly - adjusting his hold on her and shaking his head, “You could’ve gotten hurt out here by yourself, stupid. Anything could’ve happened.”

“I was…”

“Sometimes I swear you’re trying to get yourself killed,” he continued chiding as some of his anger began bubbling to the surface, “What would’ve happened if I didn’t come looking, huh?”

“I said I’m sorry,” she protested weakly - her nose subtly nuzzling the flesh at the base of his neck, “I…”

“Sorry isn’t good enough. You need to do better,” Inuyasha snapped angrily before pausing mid-stride and sighing, “I swore to protect you but you make it so…so hard sometimes. And you don’t even care. You just…just go around getting kidnapped or disappearing and…and getting hurt when I’m not looking.”

It was strange but hearing his voice berate her and feeling his irritated breaths actually improved her mood considerably.

“I waited. Like an idiot I waited for you to come back from that school thing of yours instead of coming to get you like normal but…but then the sun went down and…” Inuyasha continued to huffed and grunt while his arms held her slightly tighter, “I can’t be there all the time dammit. I can’t. I’d like to be but…but I just can’t so…so you just have to fucking do better.”

Lifting her head slightly at this strange command, Kagome studied his face for a moment before leaning forward and absently placing a kiss on his tense neck. Inuyasha went stock still and then rigid but she couldn’t find it in her to care.

“I’m sorry I scared you. I’ll do better,” she promised tiredly as she pressed another lazy kiss on his shoulder. At least in this moment, he was alive and loved. Right now, he wasn’t alone drawing paintings and writing notes to someone who was either dead or hadn’t been born yet. And while true that the ‘unidentified artist’ was probably anyone else, that mental image of it being him continued to haunt her.

Taking a deep breath, Kagome stubbornly told herself that the ‘unidentified artist’ couldn’t be him. It simply wasn’t possible. For so many reasons.

“You kissed me,” Inuyasha finally blurted and mercifully distracted from her inner turmoil, Kagome hummed in the affirmative. A second passed then two and he forced out a strangled, “W-why?”

“I wanted to,” Kagome offered tiredly as she focused on the feel of him and the knowledge that, as of this moment, he was very much alive. And yes, now that she was a little calmer, it was fairly obvious that the ‘unidentified artist’ wasn’t Inuyasha. He didn’t think of her in that way. Never had. Never would. They were friends. Best friends. But he loved someone else and had made it very clear he wasn’t interested in her that way.

As Kagome continued talking herself down, Inuyasha remained motionless for a long time before he finally began walking back towards the shrine. Slowly. Every so often he’d pause and take a few short breaths like he wanted to say something but stopped himself.

“Why did you want to?” he finally asked hesitantly as he turned a corner, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Because you’re you,” she mumbled as her consciousness began ebbing. With a soft sigh, she relaxed more fully against his warm chest and offered up an additional explanation, “It made me happy.”

This response clearly bothered him judging by the increased tension in his muscles.

“Why did kissing me make you happy?” he pressed after another long moment of silence.

“Dunno. Why do you think it…” Kagome trailed off into a yawn and Inuyasha let out a small groan.

“I don’t know. That’s why I was asking,” Inuyasha interrupted with a huff of frustration, “You always make things hard. For no reason.”

Instead of getting angry, Kagome simply cooed and snuggled into him which seemed to both bother and calm him.

“You’re so stupid,” he continued to grumble as he adjusted his hold, “Ask a simple question and you just…act like you.”

“How else am I supposed to act?” Kagome hummed with mild amusement and Inuyasha grunted.

“Whatever. You need to sleep,” he changed the subject miserably as he finally made it to the shrine and began climbing the steps, “But don’t think I’m gunna take it easy on you. I’m serious. You can’t do shit like that again. You could’ve gotten…”

“Will you stay here tonight?” Kagome interrupted tiredly and Inuyasha once again stopped mid-step. His hands flexed against the flesh they were gripping as he licked his lips and averted his eyes.

“Only if you tell me why you really kissed me,” he repeated his earlier question - before continuing with an unease tinged with hope which surprised her, “I think I deserve some answers after the stupid stunt you just pulled and if you’re trying…if you did that to just…just distract me, it won’t work. Won’t change nothing. You still gotta be less stupid.”

“I did it because I wanted to,” Kagome repeated before gasping when he suddenly set her down and glared.

“Well what if I didn’t want you to?” Inuyasha huffed - something strangely hurt behind his expressive amber eyes, “You’ve never tried to mess with me before. Never. And…and do you have any idea how scared I was when you didn’t come home? I searched for you, Kagome. From the…the 6 to the 9. Do you know how hard it is to track scents here? To listen for you? It’s a literal miracle that I…”

“I said I’m sorry,” Kagome insisted and Inuyasha looked even more hurt. Breathing heavily, he visibly tried to control whatever reaction was brewing under the surface but unfortunately, his confusion and hurt bubbled over.

“I DON’T WANT AN APOLOGY!” Inuyasha bellowed - his hurt escalating into full blown anger with such speed it nearly gave her whiplash, “YOU COULD’VE DIED. YOU COULD’VE BEEN HURT! AND I’M NOT SO DESPERATE THAT A STUPID KISS IS GUNNA MAKE ME FORGET THAT! WHY DID YOU KISS ME?!”

“I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you!” Kagome snapped and Inuyasha looked a hair away from strangling her.

“THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER! YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO COVER YOUR ASS AND…” Inuyasha began to rail against her once more and it was at that point Kagome’s mind officially hit It’s breaking point. He wanted answers, huh? He wanted to know why she ran and why she kissed him and why she was so upset?!

“FINE! KNOW WHY I DID THAT?! BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” Kagome screamed bitterly and Inuyasha froze like a deer in the headlights, “I KISSED YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! THERE! HAPPY?!”

When Inuyasha continued gaping at her with a shell-shocked expression, the full ramifications of what she’d just admitted hit her like a ton of bricks.

“Forget it,” she breathed miserably as she turned and unsteadily began climbing the stairs with her arms curled tightly around her stomach, “I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do…any of that again. Just forget what I said.”

“Wait. Wait,” Inuyasha’s strangely panicked voice called out - a single clawed hand gripping her shoulder to force her to stop, “I don’t think I heard that right. W-why did you…”

“Let me go Inuyasha,” Kagome hissed but the hand didn’t release her.

“C-can I tell you w-what I heard?” he asked with a mixture of fear and desperation, “A-and I could be wrong but I just…”

“You hear everything Inuyasha,” Kagome huffed acidly as she pushed away his hand with all her might, “You heard what I said…”

Even as she climbed the stairs, she could hear his harsh rapid breaths which honestly had her moving a little faster. Everything was ruined now. All because of some stupid little painting that she’d just…

“You…you said you…you loved me,” he repeated barely above a whisper, “Right?”

Closing her eyes, Kagome let out a long sigh before squaring her shoulders and deciding to face her mistake head on.

“I do love you but I don’t…” she began as she turned to face him before being cut off when a pair of lips captured her own. Two strong arms snaked around her waist for but a moment before his calloused hands suddenly cupped her face in an effort to force her to respond.

When she finally did and when he finally pulled back, his slightly euphoric expression faded into mild horror and panic.

“Y-you said you l-loved me back, r-right?” he asked worriedly as he released and took an involuntary step back, “That’s…that’s what you said. Two, no, three times. You said that…”

“That I loved you…back,” Kagome repeated slowly and Inuyasha gave a jerky nod in response.

“That’s what you said,” he insisted miserably - his amber eyes flicking in the direction of the well, “So…and I mean, you did start the…the kissing so I…and you were an idiot. Scared me half to…”

“Know what? That is what I said,” Kagome hummed in a resigned fashion as she reached out and gestured for him to take her hand, “Come on. Let’s go inside. It’s late.”

Swallowing thickly, Inuyasha eyed the beckoning hand with weary apprehension before accepting the gesture and allowing her to lead him into the house. And up the stairs. And into her bedroom. And then onto her bed. A bed upon which he found himself awkwardly waiting while Kagome proceeded to change and get ready for the night.

“Where are you gunna sleep…” he began nervously when it finally dawned on him that she seemed to be intending for him to sleep on the bed. That’s where she led him and where she told him to stay after all. Which was strange but it had been a strange night. Maybe she was trying to make him feel better. Do him a favor?

“In the bed,” Kagome hummed as she ran a brush through her hair and gave him a warm smile. A smile that faded when he stood up and began nervously glancing around with a marked blush.

“Inuyasha, where are you going?”

“You’re gunna sleep on the bed,” he muttered as he prepared to sleep in his normal position on the floor, “And you…well I was gunna…”

“If you want, you can sleep in the bed with me…”

Amber eyes widened as a single impulsive ‘oh’ left his lips but instead of sitting back down on the bed, he remained standing and staring at her with that same shell-shocked expression.

“Is that…okay?” Kagome asked nervously.

Seeming to come back to himself, Inuyasha nodded fervently and quickly sat down atop the mattress.

“Y-yeah thats…that’s…yeah. Yeah. We can do that…”

That night was the first of many nights he spent cuddled up against the woman of his dreams. Letting the warmth of her body span the length of his own as he relished in the knowledge that somehow this woman loved him. How, when or even why didn’t matter. She loved him back and that first night, as he held her small frame against him, he very nearly cried in relief. Honestly, before that night, he had already decided he was going to let her go rather than say anything. There was no way she’d ever love him back, he’d reasoned. No one would ever want to be with a half-breed, right? He’d never been so happy to be wrong.

Weeks went by after that and the funny thing was, when Kagome absently mentioned the painting from the museum to her friends over lunch, none of them had the faintest clue what she was talking about. All they remembered was her leaving in a rush. While Kagome chalked this up to the art not being memorable to anyone else, the truth was that no one else would ever remember this art because it simply never existed.

The second she’d admitted her feelings - emotions he fully reciprocated but had suppressed - all those drawings and notes faded from the annuals of time because that painting- which had been loaned to the museum by a well meaning unrelated widow who thought the unique artwork would make for an interesting exhibit - turned out to be a butterfly which was inadvertently crushed. As the years rolled on, Inuyasha never needed to paint something to bring him comfort in the midst of crushing regret and loneliness.

Why would he?

Thanks to a merciful series of events, he woke up to his favorite smiling face every day for the rest of his life.

[zelihatrifles]

The Ministry of Utmost Happiness

Don’t know why exactly but it took me quite a while to even start writing about this much-heard-of book by the fiery Arundhati Roy. It spans two different kinds of communities that are pushed to the peripheries for different reasons, and their fight, as one character rightly feels, is More than Azadi, now it's a fight for dignity. In a world where normality is a bit like a boiled egg: its humdrum surface conceals at its heart a yolk of egregious violence, it is certainly not an easy thing to pursue. Roy writes of the nonchalance of perpetrators as they go on with their ‘normal’ lives and it chills you to your marrow: The saffron men sheathed their swords, laid down their tridents and returned meekly to their working lives, answering bells, obeying orders, beating their wives and biding their time until their next bloody outing. 

Roy is a well-known advocate of the separatism of Kashmir. While i do not have any authority to argue about its rights or lefts, i can hardly stop myself from feeling this sinking feeling every time i read about violence in the novel. It was probably Tilo who once wrote in her journal: I would like to write one of those sophisticated stories in which even though nothing much happens there’s lots to write about. That can’t be done in Kashmir. It’s not sophisticated, what happens here. There’s too much blood for good literature. Raises quite a few questions about sensationalism, acceptability of violence, and high literature, doesn’t it? Broken blinded injured Kashmiris arouse not your sympathy but your deepest admiration because You don't know how radiantly we smile when our hearts are broken. Musa tries to explain to his ever-young daughter Miss Jebeen why trust is a rarity in his homeland: I took you for a walk (and you were angry with the cat who wouldn’t trust you and refused the piece of bread you offered him. We’re all becoming a bit like that cat, jaana, we can’t trust anyone. And really, truly, how can you, when everyone around you is trying to take advantage of you in all ways possible? Musa would have dearly liked to kill that heinous bastard Amrik Singh, but he was killed pathetically, not by guns but by horrified remorse, and Musa’s interpretation of this again makes you rethink about what side you’re on and what side you should be: One day, Kashmir will make India self-destruct in the same way. You may have blinded all of us, every one of us, with your pellet guns by then. But you will still have eyes to see what you’ve done to us. You’re not destroying us, you’re constructing us. It’s yourselves that you are destroying.

In spite of all this war and brutality, love never exits the hearts of these persecuted people, be it the Kashmiris, or the hijras, or the radical tribals. Love for their community is all-embracing, just like Tilo perceives Musa’s love for his people, the way he belonged so completely to a people whom he loved and laughed at, complained about and swore at, but never separated himself from. Love for their soulmate, from whom they got separated due to the revolvings of the world, but returned to again, if only for a week's worth of lovemaking on shikaras, only to meet incognito for years afterwards, and then die predictably. Tilo and Musa’s love story is at the heart of one of the narrative strands in the novel, and they belong to each other, even when really really far away, because Tilo used to think of Musa as her people: They had been a strange country together for a while, an island republic that had seceded from the rest of the world. Their relationship was one that complemented each other: They had always fitted together like pieces of an unsolved (and perhaps unsolvable) puzzle - the smoke of her into the solidness of him, the solitariness of her into the gathering of him, the strangeness of her into the straightforwardness of him, the insouciance of her into the restraint of him. The quietness of her into the quietness of him. It is in passages like this that you realise Roy’s gift for writing about both love and war in equally haunting ways. Even when these two lovers are discussing Musa’s deceased wife, there is no malice, no resentment that is expected, because their love is simply too deep, too eternal to be defeated to petty emotions like jealousy: It was possible for Tilo and Musa to have this strange conversation about a third loved one, because they were concurrently sweethearts and ex-sweethearts, lovers and ex-lovers, siblings and ex-siblings, classmates and ex-classmates. 

The other love story of the novel is that of Anjum and life and daughters. The old Delhi environment that Roy creates so beautifully through the cusses, smells, fragrances, colours and sounds seeps through the pages and stands in front of you, real as the violence lying hidden in us all. It is Anjum’s search for happiness that begins the novel and also ends it. She is not always someone you can admire whole-heartedly, because she knows the role of cruelty and its acceptance in her life: she had learned from experience that Need was a warehouse that could accommodate a considerable amount of cruelty. She knew the real truths about adjustment. Language is also sometimes a barrier, which makes us wonder: Was it possible to live outside language? Roy comments on the lack of closure in real life too, and the ultimate inconclusiveness of it, because maybe that's what life is, or ends up being most of the time: a rehearsal for a performance that never eventually materializes. The first Miss Jebeen dies long before she can flaunt either her Jebeen-ness or Miss-hood. So, it automatically falls upon Miss Jebeen the Second, to shoulder these grave responsibilities. Her past remains a mystery until a letter from her biological mother, radical activist tribal, confesses the truth just before dying. That almost starts off a(n unconsciously revolutionary) new greeting system, because ‘Lal Salaam Aleikum,’ was Anjum’s inadvertent, instinctive response to the end of the letter. That could have been the beginning of a whole political movement, but she had only meant it in the way of an ‘Ameen’ after listening to a moving sermon.

And this is exactly what stays with you long after you read this book. As it was with me too. I felt like i needed to let some time pass before writing about this experience, so that i might be able to do it justice in some way. The only fault of Roy here may be that she tackles multiple issues at the same time in the book. While each issue is relevant in its own right, dealing with all together serves to dilute their impact, even if just by a little. But this was an absolute masterpiece by Arundhati Roy, and long after i’d have forgotten all the character names and even major themes, i’d remember how reading it made me feel.

[brattyfics]

Cape Disappointment | Part One

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Black!OC [Chantel Williams]

Summary: Miguel doesn’t rescue a damsel in distress because Chantel Williams is not a damsel in distress.

Warnings: None yet.

Chantel Williams was a lot of things. Quirky, witty, sarcastic. Condescending, impulsive, sometimes even chaotic. She could be all those things and more, but she refused to be anyone’s victim.

“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m not a damsel in distress…” She chanted over and over in a low tone. 

On the side of a low traffic road, snow raining down on her head, Chantel willed the words to be true. Unfortunately, she remembered very little of what her Papa taught her about cars, eyeing the confusing parts under the hood with frustration.

Papa was a school teacher but he worked as a shade tree mechanic on the weekends to be able to afford dance classes for little Chantel. Teaching was his passion through and through. He would talk her ear off in the car on the way to recitals or while she did homework on the bench in his workshop. Being a bratty kid, she learned to tune him out when the topic didn’t interest her and not for the first time she regretted not soaking up more of Papa’s wisdom before he passed. 

If she had, maybe she wouldn’t be stuck on the side of the road with no solution in mind. Empty handed and no closer to fixing the car, she shuffled through the snow. It wasn’t much warmer inside the car despite the thick North Face coat she wore with a matching hat and pair of gloves. She was sure she resembled a wet dog as she shook the snow off, not wanting the ice to melt into water droplets that would surely sting. 

Just a week earlier, she’d splurged on the fanciest new smart phone after losing the older model at a dinner party. Even with all its promised features, it was useless. No signal and no nearby WiFi networks to connect to meant she couldn’t call her sort-of-sometimes boyfriend for help even if she wanted to. She couldn’t even call a tow truck! 

Pride. 

Another one of Chantel’s many traits. She liked to think of it as a positive thing. It kept her from being desperate, saved her from being dependent on others for her happiness. No one else seemed to agree her pride was a good thing. 

Among the naysayers was her sort-of-sometimes boyfriend, Adam. Pride was what had led her to take off from the Yurt they shared on their week-long winter break getaway to race back to her industrial loft in the heart of Seattle despite the weather advisory. She would never admit it to anyone else, but she realized her pride didn’t always serve her well. 

If not for her bruised ego, it would have been funny that her car had chosen to break down a few miles north of Cape Disappointment State Park. It was where she had been staying with Adam. The yurt was too far away to walk back to in the snow but still close enough that it only made sense to stay there for the night once the car issues were resolved. She wasn’t looking forward to ending the night with him. 

Remembering Papa’s belief in God showing up when most needed, Chantel sent up a quick prayer. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to wait long for someone else to come down the otherwise deserted road. Winters in Washington were fairly mild so she wouldn’t lose her extremities to hypothermia or anything crazy like that, but she’d certainly suffer by way of the shivers. 

Any sane person was cuddled up next to the fireplace in their cabin with a bowl of chili, or participating in heat-inducing sexual activities in their yurt to keep warm, not on the road driving. It was only natural for her thoughts to snowball into all the types of un-same people she could run into. 

Indigenous women from Washington and Canada went missing far too often on roads just like the one she had so conveniently broken down on. Chantel had a bad habit of researching everything there was to know about topics when they peaked her interest and she knew too much about human trafficking in the area to not feel a considerable amount of fear. 

“That would be my luck.” She muttered meanly to herself, resolving that whatever happened would be her own fault. 

It wasn’t like a whole lot of people would come looking for her anyway. She had a large group of friends in Seattle, but she kind of had a reputation for taking off without saying much. She hadn’t even told anyone about the weekend excursion to Cape Disappointment! The family she had left she wasn’t close to, and by the time Adam realized she hadn’t made it back home it would be too late. 

Yellow headlights bathed the narrow road, the light blinding her the closer it got. Her hazard lights blinked red, signaling that she was broken down, but Chantel second guessed whether she wanted the help. 

“I’m going to be a sex trafficking victim all in the name of independence. Way to go, idiot.” 

Her fingers fumbled around in the gigantic backpack she’d been using as a purse for the weekend, hastily pulling at the zippers until she found what she was looking for. A purple taser she purchased on Amazon for a whopping ten dollars. She doubted it would stop anyone in their tracks, but it was better than nothing. 

It turned out the man who knocked on her window wasn’t an axe wielding serial murdering rapist, or at least he didn’t appear to be. She tucked the small device into her side as the ridiculously handsome middle aged man with a salt and pepper beard smiled at her through the foggy glass. 

He looked harmless enough, sporting a pair of smart designer glasses and what Chantel knew to be a really expensive cashmere turtleneck sweater underneath an equally expensive Canada Goose coat. She wasn’t shy about looking him up and down as she assessed the risk. What if the male model was a decoy?

His neatly manicured eyebrows twisted down in confusion and she thought it was one of the cutest things she had ever seen. 

She rolled down the window with a nervous smile.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” 

She hated how breathy the words came out but he was truly stunning. 

Tall, fit, well-dressed. 

“Are you alright? It looks like you’re having some trouble.” 

A gentleman.

“What would make you think that?” Chantel spoke before she thought it through, but the stranger didn’t seem to take offense if the amused smirk on his face could be trusted. “I’m kidding. Yeah, no. I’m not alright. The car was making weird noises so I pulled over and now it won’t turn back on. I looked under the hood but I have no idea what’s wrong.”

He nodded attentively while she spoke, watching her lips with interest. She noticed him staring and licked them.

“I don’t know how much of a help I’ll be.” His bronze skin reddened with the admission and she wondered if he was blushing or if the cold was getting to him. “I don’t know anything about cars but I can give you a ride wherever you want.”

She’d like a ride alright. In his cushiony truck that may as well have been a royal carriage considering the circumstances. Or on his handsome bearded face that she couldn’t stop staring at. 

Chantel wondered if he could tell what she was thinking. 

Movement caught her eye and she noticed an identical black SUV pulling off the road to park behind the one Prince Charming departed from. Her hand squeezed around the taser instinctively. 

Was the sexy stranger bait to catch naive, unsuspecting girls? 

“...but I’m sure we’d both rather leave it to the professionals.” He gestured back towards the dark truck and paused, noticing they weren’t alone. Her breath caught in her chest when four bulking men slammed their doors shut and started walking in their direction.

“I apologize. That’s my security team. I left without telling them.” 

Hmm. A kindred spirit. 

Who was he to have a security team? Was he telling the truth? Or just stalling? 

She wanted to believe him. To trust that it was in human nature to help one another without some ulterior, sinister motive. 

Did she even have a choice? How long would she have to wait on the next passerby? There was no guarantee they would be any better than the (so far) kind stranger and his friends.

Chantel Williams was a lot of things, but she was not naïve. With surprising coordination, she swung the door open, knocking the man back several steps. Her boots crunched as she landed in the snow. 

“Back up or I’m going to tase you!” She warned, putting space between herself and the stranger while keeping an eye on the approaching men. 

The corners of his mouth turned up as he fought back a smile. 

Chantel scoffed. He wasn’t taking her seriously. 

“I’m not fucking around!” She insisted, charging up the small device. The buzz felt more powerful than she remembered. The man seemed to think so too, changing his approach. He spoke in a soft tone. “Can we slow down?” 

“Don’t patronize me. Just back up like I said. No, this way!” She ordered until he stood across from her with his back to his men. 

Behind him, they speed up their approach but they could only move so fast in the snow. Following her gaze, the strange man looked over his shoulder and gestured for the men to stall at the front of his truck several feet away. One of them shouted at her to put the taser away from his position. He sported two braids and a cut in his brow. Chantel shouted back at him to ‘shut the fuck up’

Mr. GQ gave another signal and like he was the conductor of an orchestra, all noise ceased. Well, all external noise at least. Chantel swore she could hear the sound of her heart ringing in her ears. 

“Hey!” He demanded her full attention. His hands were up in a defensive position. “What are you looking for here?” 

It was a great question but she had no answer for him.

Trouble maker. Fire starter. Full-time agitator.

Chantel was that way even as a child, responding to normal adolescent teasing with violence. Sharp bites in the classroom or royal rumble style fights on the playground were her specialty in grade school. She made anyone stupid enough to provoke her regret it whether big or small, male or female. That wasn’t to say she was organized or calculating in her plans. She acted and dealt with things as they came. 

She had no idea what the endgame was when she pulled the taser, but she had to stick with it. The crowd of onlookers made her feel more justified in her rash decision.

“I don’t think you really want to hurt me.”

“Now, what would make you think that?” Chantel asked incredulously. He didn’t know her from Eve. 

She was even more steadfast in pointing the taser in his direction but he didn’t seem phased.

“When you want to hurt somebody, you don’t wait around or warn them. You just do it.”

“Are you suggesting I should’ve tased you?”

He shrugged as if they were discussing the weather.

“That certainly would have been more effective.”

Was he serious?

“I mean I still can. If you keep talking I just might.”

He had the gall to laugh in her face. 

Hysterically. 

And it wasn’t fleeting or sarcastic. It was genuine laughter from deep down in his gut. She hated how beautiful he was, even in the middle of showing blatant disrespect for her ability to harm him. 

“Seriously?” She griped, fighting against the way her face muscles twitched. 

Giggle box.

When somebody at church mispronounced a word during the announcements or when her aunt murdered a hit song, she giggled uncontrollably. Papa chastised her for it, but it couldn’t be helped. When the urge struck and she got that itch in her throat, she had to laugh.

So naturally, like two birds of a maniac feather they shared a laugh in four (and counting) inches of snow.

***

GENERAL TAGLIST

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @glimmerglittergirl @apantherinmypastlife @brownsugarcoffy @marvelmaree @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @thewarriorprincessxo @sadeyesgf @pearlkitten33 @imanerdychubbyqueen @literaturefeen @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @everyhowlmarksthedead @yourwonkywriter @trulysuccubus

MIGUEL TAGLIST

@thesandbeneathmytoes @taylortheeshowpony

[yunhostinyuyu]

don’t be so naive - part one

pairing: prince!yeosang x princess!reader ft. brother!seonghwa

genre: royal au, angst, little fluff

wc: 3.6k

synopsis: your parents got themselves into a hassle, and the only way out involves you and a handsome Prince from a neighbouring kingdom...

warnings: arranged marriage, mentioned murder, mentioned ambush

—

“I expected to find you here.” you turn your head around from the corner of the glasshouse you were currently hiding at. It was your older brother with a relieved look painted on his face as he saw you in between the plants, playing with one of the many cats that found home in the ginormous park like garden your family got to call their own. It wasn’t very princess-like, you knew that, but you liked the nature. And despite living in a giant castle with countless rooms, this was the only place were you could truly catch a break and think. Seonghwa however just beat you to it, which made the stray cats jump out of your lap and run into the nearest bushes, looking after thier retreading froms for as long as possible to avoid the conversation with your brother that you could no longer hide from.

Turning your back back to him, you sigh, “Don’t wanna talk, leave me alone.” trying to shrug him off, but knowing him, he wouldn’t leave until he got to say what he came here for. You fumble with some fallen leaves and blossoms that are already dead, lying infront of you on the cobbled ground. Thoughts about the stone cold reality your parents confronted you with just hours ago still fresh in your mind.

“Since things haven’t gone smoothly recently and we have gotten ourselves in quite a bit of trouble, we had to ask around in the kingdoms nearby for help. We found a wealthy family willing to support us, but... their oldest son is going to marry you in return. We are deeply sad about this, since we know you didn’t want this, but this is the only way. If you reject, they won’t help us and we will be doomed.”

You hated this. They were giving you no options. And even if you would do everything to help your family out of their mess, this was the only thing you would never want to do. Being young, free, on your own. Riding the horses out into the woods and shooting animals in the mountains, practicing your archery skills and gardening all the rare flowers and plants from all over the world... this is what you lived for. Being forced into a marriage would mean for you to quit all those things and never be able to do them again. Only because of the mistakes your parents caused.

Seonghwa reaches his hand towards you, nodding his head back where he entered the little shelter. „If we had more time I would let you alone, but that’s not the case. Please, just walk around with me and listen, will you?“.

Even if your parents were the definition of evil, your brother clearly wasn’t. He is the only person you could lean on and most importantly, trust. The both of you really loved your parents, regardless of their wrong doings. Like they said, love makes blind, and that doesn’t only apply to romatic relationships. Whenever the news about your parents broke, murdering other kings and queens, raiding them of all thier belongings just to name the worst, You and Seonghwa have always turned a blind eye - or a deaf ear - towards the accusations and defended them regardless. But deep in your heart, you knew that they have overstepped many borders, and were now stuck.

Groaning to yourself, you pulled yourself up to your feet and patted the dirt of your skirt before following your brother around the garden as he started to state the facts, and quite frankly, what’s at stake here:

„You should know that they arranged a meeting with him already. He could arrive any minute, and he‘s eager to see you.“ he said, earning another groan from you, but this time out of pure frustration. This was moving too fast, only adding to the irritation that was already building up inside of you for hours, now threatening to come loose.

„Seonghwa,“ you started, but stopped for a second as you interwined your fingers with the older ones. „I don’t wanna do this. You‘re eager to marry, why don‘t you go ahead? They surely have many daughters desperate to get a man like you. Not to mention you‘re the oldest out of us.“ you tried to push the responsibility onto him, but he only scoffed in reply. He looked down to you, before dipping his chin towards his chest. Seeing faint traces of sadness resurface on his face. Your gut told you that he wasn’t happy about bringing you those news, but yet, it was his duty. He was the only one you’re willing to listen to, but you cursed at yourself and wishing you would have stayed in the glasshouse with the cats.

„They specifically asked for you. Even if I wanted to take your place, they don’t want me. Just you.“ he tried his best to stay serious and not show his outrage, staying calm instead. Whipping your head towards him and slowing your movements, „What if I do reject him? For all I know he could be some old, disgusting person. And it wouldn’t be so bad if they denied their support, surely there are other-“

Seonghwa stopped and pulled you by your shoulder, his glance boring holes into your skull. „Then they will kill us all, Y/N, don’t you get it? They are the only people willing to help us, because everyone else is out to murder us! If you deny, then you can already start planning your funeral, aswell as mine and our parents’. This is the last straw - no, you are the last straw.“

The words hit you with more force than ever before, ducking your head away from his heated stare and trying to get away. You sighed. This really wasn’t your usual way of handling things, and it only added to your bad feeling. Being weak and hiding wasn’t really like you at all, and you swore to yourself in that very moment, in Seonghwas harsh grip and angsty eyes, that no matter what happened - you were staying strong and true to yourself. And if it was the last thing you were doing. Taking a deep breath before you met his eyes for the first time in what felt like ages, your confidence struck.

„Okay. I will do it. There is no choice, so I‘ll have to do it.“

He sighed, but a small smile stretched his lips, “I know you will, and you can. But father send me not to console you, but to get yourself dressed and ready for Yeosang.” He started to walk again, aim back on the entrance back into the giant hallways of your home. Heading towards one of the rooms that had a majority of your fancier attire. Leaving you alone in the room as soon as you two arrive, but sending in the tailor just a few minutes later. Indicating how important the meeting actually is to your parents. As if their life depended on it, which it ironically did.

Yeosang, Yeosang, Yeosang... you thought to yourself while the familiar person started to work on your clothing. You heard that name before, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. May it be from on of the many balls and festivities you attended when you were younger, which basically were failed attempts to find a fitting spouse for both you and Seonghwa. And there were so many handsome, young, intelligent and athletic princes pining at you, but in the end you turned them all down. Secretly hoping that he wasn’t one of the many rejected boys, or else things are garantueed to turn awkward the moment he steps foot into your home.

After what felt like hours of the tailor getting you dressed in one of the finest dresses and brushing your long hair to hang loosely over your shoulders and chest, you heard a knock on the door and spotted two pairs of curious eyes peaking in. It was Seonghwa alongside your mother, whose eyes were puffy and nose was red from assumingly crying. The arm of Seonghwas tall form reached around her shoulder, trying to hold her steady. The tailor left after the finishing touches and your mother crashed into your arms, crying uncontrollably into your hair.

She sobbed so much it was hard to understand everything she was saying, other than that she was sorry and that she would miss you. You looked at your tall brother for advice on how you should react or what to say, but he just shrugged and extended a hand to pull her away from you. The longer you were trapped in her shaky arms, the final realisation grew larger and larger, that you would have to leave your family and not be able to see them for a very long time.

„Don’t worry about me mother. I can handle myself. And I will sure to visit when it’s possible... And I still have to teach Seonghwa how to shoot a dove with an arrow the right way, no?“ you joked half heartedly in a try to make her smile and take the strange negativity which was tangible in the air, away. It was an inside joke between your sibling and you, but your mother understood what you meant. But the lack of a response just supported your fear that you would not be able to go hunting ever again.

Seonghwa nudged you, as he held out his hand for you to take. Your mother waved you off, telling you to go ahead and not let them wait since she was still trying to collect herself from her excessive crying. Once again, the only reliable person in your life was next to you, pushing the stinging fact about this being the last time you will be with him for who knows how long - maybe even forever - to the side. They really took everything you had away from you, just to save themselves, and a strange, bitter taste formed in your mouth, starting to rethink the entire situation. The unconditional love slowly started to wear off, and this was only the start of it.

Before you turned the last corner into the main hall you stopped and pulled your brother back a few steps to make sure the others didn’t recognise him before you spoke your mind. Clearly hearing how your father was currently chirping a cheerful conversation with the family of your future husband as a distraction for their long wait, and how you hated the sound of that already.

“Can you promise me one thing? Not as the Prince, but as my brother?” You whispered after you caged his rough hands innetween your thin fingers and held his fist against your chest, for him to feel your heartbeat. Nodding in reply, watching your movements very closely, as if he tried to memorise this for him to remember forever. “Promise me that I will be able to see you again after I leave. And promise me you make sure the kingdom stays safe. I want to come back and rule with you once the time is right...”

His expression turned soft, and he pulled your small body into a brief hug, murmuring quietly, “I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep Y/N, but I will promise you with my entire heart that I will try my best. This is your home, no matter what happens, and I will always be here for you.” Tears were about to appear in your eyes, but as the two of you heard the dark voice of your father shout for your attendance, you quickly pulled away and swallowed the tears down.

Following closely after Seonghwa, stepping into view for the strangers to eye you curiously. You stood next to his throne and kept your gaze fixed on the floor, nor daring to look at them yet. As your father introduced you to his family, the stranger, which you assumed to be your future man, took a step forward and tapped his foot lightly against the stone cold floor, showing his impatience roughly. Still not daring to look him into the eyes, but he came closer and closer towards you, when he suddenly went down on one knee and pulled a giant diamond ring out of the back pocket of his slacks.

“Let’s make this quick, yes?” were his first and only words, and you finally looked him into his eyes, immediately regretting all your previous life choices.

His hair was dark brown and parted down the middle, his eyes held the fires of hell and the clouds of heaven in them at the same time. His high cheek bones and sharp jawline only adding to the attractiveness of him. His expression was unreadable, since you were indeed looking at a stranger. The longer you inspected his face and body, you assured yourself that you have never seen this man before, which was at least a little thing that made everything a little less worse. His hand snatched your wrist pretty forcefully, which almost made you jolt, but keeping the control over your body and balance, you stood straight. His gentle fingers fidgeting with your small hand, pushing the cold metal of the ring onto your ringfinger, and placing a soft but rushed kiss onto the back of your hand.

“It’s official then. Time to say goodbye.” The older man behind your fiancée spoke. You looked around for Seonghwa, but his gaze told you to stay still and not do anything crazy. Turning towards your father and bowing at the hip, you waved him goodbye, and did the same to your brother. This is happening. This is really happening. What am I gonna do now? rushed thoughts made you forget your surroundings for a moment, and before you even realized, you were on your way out of your home, Yeosang snaking his arm around your waist to guide you out.

Leading you out of your home and into their coach which was pulled by four big, brown horses. Taking a seat on the back, with Yeosang plopping down right next to you, and the proximity making your palms sweaty. Anxiety was bubbling in your stomach and through every other part of your body, and you didn’t dare to say something yet. Even if you were marrying their son and were going to stay with them for a very long time, you felt uneasy about everything. Like something was wrong... What were you going to do with all your time? All the things that kept you busy were all cancelled. Should you read? Cook? What do they even expect from this whole thing, other than the help your parents depended on? Questions over questions, no answers. In due time, you would get the answers, but first you needed to learn how to open your mouth Infront of them.

A threatening, long silence laid over the two of you, but after some time had passed, Yeosang clears his throat before he starts talking: “It should only take us four more hours until we arrive in Sangju. You may lean on me if you want to rest.” He suggested, and you eyed him, still unsure. Shaking your head after a few moments, declining his offer, “I’m well, thank you.”. You let your eyes wander over the landscapes to make him stop looking at you. Thankfully it worked.

After a long journey, your travel route finally came to a stop at what would be Yeosang’s family home… And now also your home. When you tried to stand up, you stumbled for a few steps, before regaining your balance again. Looking around you, his parents were watching you already. His father wore a strict look on his face, but his mother was shining, showing her teeth to you and trying to seem welcoming towards you. Even if it was just a tiny act of kindness, you felt a little less lost on your shoes. Your future husband stood next to you as he entered the giant gates of their castle.

“We should head to the main hall, for our two love birds to sign the marriage certificate.” His father exclaimed while pasting through the giant corridors. You looked a bit lost in the giant building, yet the sudden placement of the princes’ hand back on the small of your waist calmed your nerves for what ever reason. It might be from the physical touch, since what else would it be? He was still a stranger.

Shortly after you signed the documents, they brought you to the quarters you were to share with the prince, or now your husband, you started wondering for how long they have been planning this. Obtaining these sort of documents would take several weeks at least. Starting to think of the true intentions of these people. What could they possibly want from you? Money? No, they surely had enough... maybe fame? But still, what was your part in that? You were renowned for being “not suitable for marriage”, so yet again - where was the catch? Walking up and down the giant bedroom in a hurry, your thoughts were overwhelming you. Only did you wish to be able to seek Seonghwa’s advice, or be able to run away. It was all way too sketchy.

“May I come in, my grace?” Yeosang asked, the door being opened only a few inches to peek in. Noticing your distressed state, but choosing not yet to comment on it. You slowed your hasty footsteps and sat down on the foot of the bed. He sat down beside you, like you were sitting in your travel here, but now you were alone. But that made you feel more angsty. Even if you were not married in a formal way, the documents are signed. You were, in fact, husband and wife now.

You sighed deeply, catching his attention again. “Your highness, I believe I do not quite understand what is expected of me as your wife. And I’m worried about the well being of my family. I gave up all my hopes and dreams for the future to come here, so they may be saved.” You explained. He eyed you carefully, your words were thick with desparation, but the tone in your voice didn’t indicate your emotions about the matter. “Now, Now, my grace, do not mistaken our efforts to help as a way to ruin your future. In fact, I do believe we might have a bright future ahead of us. I am your newly wed husband after all, am I not? Please, I want you make you feel as welcome as possible, let me or anyone know if something is not to your liking. We ought to take care of it.” He announced, before slipping off the bed and heading back outside. Sudden alarm going off in your head:

“Yeosang,” you started, suprising both of you by your informality towards the older man, “I have one request, if I might.” He nodded, turning on his heel to look at you again. “Of course, anything for you, my lady. What is bothering you?”

swallowing down the thick blob of nervousness before continuing with your request: “I don’t know much of the deal between your parents of mine, but can you please ensure me, that my brother will not endear any form of pain or injustice... I wouldn’t be able to look at myself anymore if anything were to happen to him..."

"Now, don’t be so naive, my grace. Our intentions are purely out of charity.” Yeosang swiftly interrupted your ramblings. Taking your gaze off of him and hiding your hand behind the back of your hand, a sob slipped out of your lips.

He stayed still for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “Does your dear brother mean a lot to you?” You simply nod your head while collecting yourself again from almost bursting into tears at the mere thought of Seonghwa being in pain. “Seonghwa is everything I have. Had... he was the only one who I could trust and who would understand the, uhm... the scandals revolving our parents. He is truly the only sencire person in my family.” explaining while panting softly, his eyes turned soft after seeing you so vulnerable right infront of him. Taking a few steps back to your direction, cupping your cheek lightly with his big palm, and meeting your gaze. “I will ensure your brothers safety, there will be no need to worry. But now you should rest, we will show you everything that you can do to entertain yourself tomorrow. I will join you shortly.”

After a few moments of intaking the intimacy between you two strangers, he detached himself from you and you felt cold and alone. It made you creeped out at the strong emotions and feelings he errupted inside you. Also wondering if he would take your innocence away from you, since this would be your wedding night. But before you could ask anything else, he stood up and walked out of the bedroom. But regardless the mess inside your mind, his words brought calm to your mind, and you were able to lay down and close your eyes for a short while.

Meanwhile, Yeosang entered his fathers study, interrupting him doing important paperwork:

“It’s about the brother. Take him to Keomgyu, make him marry one of my cousins, but you shan’t kill him. They are aware of thier parents mishaps, but do not support them at all. He could do good for our kingdom, so again: I ask you not to kill him.”

—

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps - Volume 8 “War”

Hello, everyone! Story time.

Yesterday food was delivered for my two idiot dogs (they’re thrilled about it) but, because it was delivered by Fed Ex, shenanigans were bound to ensue. These particular shenanigans involved realizing that the food had not been left at the front door like tracking said it had. Instead, it was down the very long driveway by the mailbox. Specifically, it was on a low wall beside the mailbox, currently inaccessible due to a mound of plowed snow.

Now, how the delivery guy managed to get it there I’ll never know, but given that our postal system is currently killing itself to get us our Amazon orders for Christmas, I shrugged, let it go, and resigned myself to lifting an 18 pound bag plus box over that snow without dying. Which meant that in reality I just dragged it, uncaring what bumps the bag might accumulate along the way. What are the dogs gonna do? Complain about presentation?

Snow successfully circumvented; I was home free!

… until I was lifting the box into the car, hit a patch of black ice, and was suddenly looking up at the sky, my right hip and leg screaming.

I’m fine. Bruised, but fine. It’s 2020. Did I expect to not fall? C’mon, Clyde. Be sensible.

The reason I'm telling you all this is because falling on ice at 10:00pm with an oversized bag of dog food was less painful than watching this episode. 

I jest... but only a little. To be fair to RWBY, it admittedly wasn't painful in any new way. Everything that's a problem this week has been a problem for years now: confusing motivations, changing semblances, unpersuasive character beats, etc. So in some ways this episode — especially as a hiatus episode — is rather underwhelming. I expected RWBY to do something big before taking six weeks off, but this episode simply set the (unstable) stage for what's to come. With the exception of Ren, nothing changed this episode, which makes for a rather "Okay..." note to end on. It's not inherently bad, it's just a bit of a letdown after hyping ourselves up over the expectation that something even crazier than grimm soup will happen. Which, to again be fair, is on us as opposed to the writers. But that feeling of, "If this was last week, what in the world will we get right before an unpredicted hiatus?" was palpable. Turns out the answer was, "A pretty tame episode." 

As always though, let's start at the beginning. This episode is titled "War" — straight to the point — and it's actually a little shorter than our last three episodes, adding to that "Okay..." feeling overall. We open on the outskirts of Atlas, amidst what appears to be a wheat field, or something similar. Upon reflection, it makes sense that the bubbled city would be able to grow things not normally growable in the tundra. This might also explain Cinder's strange beginning. Perhaps her orphanage existed on these rural outskirts and then she was brought into the city proper? We'll probably never know for sure, but at least this is a simpler answer than, "The Madame went off to an entirely different Kingdom to secure her child slave." Occam's Razor and all that.

Ironwood's army has assembled to hold off Salem's army. Wow, aren't we glad Ironwood invested in thousands of trained professionals rather than a handful of independent fighters? Seriously though, this is now a battle of numbers. May says later in the episode that Ironwood's forces are doing their best to assist Atlas, so they should go help Mantle... but that help only exists because years ago he recognized that the tiny class sizes of the Academies, this 

wasn't going to be enough if grimm attacks suddenly increased. Sure enough, now they're in a situation where Ironwood needs even more men to keep up with Salem's creation magic. The fact that he has any at all is crucial to what little hope is left. How do Jaune, Yang, and Ren think they're going to get the time to look for Oscar without everyone dying while they're gone? Because Ironwood's army is keeping the attack at bay. I love how the story keeps angling for the "Military people are evil" message while actively showing us how much a military is needed in this world. If Ironwood had been a generic Good Guy who dismantled his armed forces because others wanted to ignore that they've always been at war against objectively evil creatures — both the grimm and Salem — then there would have been nothing to hold Salem off until small team rescue/bomb plans could be implemented. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. As usual. The army is on the front lines and one guy is scared enough that he's shaking. Can't say I blame him. As always, RWBY functions best when it leans towards horror, with skeletons rising alongside the normal grimm and intense music playing to convey the stakes. Ironwood watches the onslaught and immediately calls for a civilian evacuation into the subway system. Get people below ground, behind a few, defendable entrances, rather than wandering about the city where land or sky grimm can pick them off easy-peasy. Makes sense. Yet I'm already seeing fans make snide comments about how Ironwood is "still running," which just demonstrates how many viewers take the emotions of the show at face value — who is Good and who is Bad — rather than considering the situation and deciding for themselves. What's far more egregious than viewers enjoying a story however they'd like on a Saturday before the holiday though (seriously, my salt aside, no one has to enjoy RWBY any one way) is that RT again tries to paint Ironwood as crazy when he's... just not? Beyond the choice to animate him with scary expressions 

once he gives the order the soldier starts to say, "But sir — " and Ironwood yells for him to obey right now. The scene makes it look like Ironwood is doing something shady again. Here's this goon balking at the order, but we're not told why. What's bad about getting the people to (relative) safety? Why is this order treated like something to question at all? We're not told and, from what we do know, it's not something that would be questioned, so unless we learn something new post-hiatus, that line exists only to make Ironwood look bad. It's a (nonsensical) excuse to have another ally turning against him (slightly) and to give Ironwood the chance to look scary and violent again. Nevermind that his city is under attack and if a subordinate started questioning a completely sensible and time-sensitive order? I might yell too. 

So we're off to a great start. The above looks particularly stupid given that we immediately see the flying grimm arriving in a populated area, terrifying all the civilians there. Everyone bolts for the subway and we cut away from a man trying desperately to reach his daughter, unsure if either of them survive. But people want Ironwood to not use what few resources he has? See, this is why generic messages like, "You have to stand your ground" don't work. Sometimes there are situations where you should run and that doesn't automatically equal being a coward. It means you're smart enough to take the actions necessary to save as many lives as possible. 

Later on we'll have a similar issue with the message, "You have to trust people" when my darling Oscar briefly loses his mind.  

Now though, we see that the "fugitives" Yang, Jaune, and Ren have been taken into custody. Of course they have. Look, when the preview dropped yesterday I saw a number of takes along the lines of, "How dare the Ace Ops do this. They need to put aside their differences until the attack is over!" but no, they really don't, because it's no longer their responsibility to extend trust towards this group. Especially when doing so, to their mind, has a high chance of making a horrific situation that much worse. What are they going to do if, in the middle of a Salem attack, the kids they decided to trust betray them, attack them, and leave them knocked out somewhere while the world burns? 

...Oh wait, they already did that. 

See, the group broke trust first. Numerous times. The Ace Ops listened to Yang admit that she and Blake had betrayed Ironwood days ago. Then they watched Ruby betray him again by alerting the rest of the team, turning them against him. They swore they wouldn't attack, so Team RWBY attacked them first. They learn that Qrow had a hand in murdering their leader. They encounter the group again and Weiss gleefully asks if they want a second defeat. They watch Ruby tell the entire world to dismiss Ironwood because he’s the one who can’t be trusted. Outside of JYR not immediately attacking them when they arrived to help (something I praised them for), this group has never put their trust in the Ace Ops. So why do they — and we — expect the Ace Ops to do so now? Imagine for just a moment that it was reversed. We find out that someone betrayed the group for no good reason, set themselves against them, continued to do so as everything fell apart, told the rest of the world they’re the enemy, and then a close associate is involved in Ruby's murder. How many people would expect the group to just shrug all that off? Would they put their differences aside and embrace these people because blind trust is (supposedly) the right thing to do? Of course not! Yang would punch their lights out and everyone would cheer, but that's because they're the established heroes. Outside of that role, no one else is allowed to mistrust those who have proven themselves untrustworthy and take precautions against getting betrayed again. To say nothing of how these characters don’t have our meta perspective. Meaning, they live in a world where this trio is not a part of a protagonist group destined to remain a part of the plot because that’s how story conventions work. They’re three random teens who were promoted to huntsmen early. They’re three soldiers out of many who can, at any time, be taken out of the fight. No one on the Ace Ops is working under the belief that they “have” to be a part of this fight. From their in-world perspective, you could toss them in jail for the rest of the battle and that’s that. Outside of their fugitive status they are entirely unimportant. 

So yes, Jaune, Ren, and Yang are in handcuffs. They deserve to be. Don't worry though, they get out very soon. 

Yang makes a snide comment about Winter "Still just following orders" and honestly? I've lost the love I used to have for her as a character. Yang is just an exercise in frustration whenever she speaks now. Thus far she's blamed Ruby for everything that's gone wrong (ignoring her own choices there), did a 180 to yell at Ren for acknowledging how bad things are, worried nonsensically about Blake being disappointed in her even though Ruby is the one she fought with, and is now back to the "You just follow orders" shtick. Yang will label anything she personally doesn't like as evil order following, but conveniently ignores how following Ruby's orders helped get them into this mess, and how the one time she went AWOL made things even worse. These characters don't actually have  beliefs they stand behind, they just say whatever is currently necessary to make themselves look good, even if that contradicts previous statements or actions. 

She also gets mad at Vine for saying that grimm don't take prisoners, ignoring that she only found this out a few hours ago. No one in the group is equipped to navigate the emotional minefield that is this war because they can't even take two seconds to put themselves in another’s shoes. Weiss doesn't bother to consider Whitley's situation. Jaune points at the snow and gets frustrated that Harriet doesn't magically know there's grimm soup flowing nearby. Yang snaps at Vine for stating what she also knew to be a basic fact about grimm up until Oscar's kidnapping. It's all framed as, "How can you be this stupid?" rather than, "Oh yeah, these people haven't had the experiences I have. If I was randomly told this I'd doubt it too. I should try to explain this in a way that will make sense to them and increase my chances of being believed." 

This is the group who decided it was a good idea to tell the whole world about Salem and did it just as badly as I suspected they would. The story has shoved a delicate, information-based war into the hands of punch-happy teenagers and refuses to grapple with how that's a bad thing. 

Anyway, Ironwood comes on the radio to say that the whale is pretty indestructible on the outside, but it might be vulnerable from the inside, so let's get a bomb in there. Seems like a good enough plan as any, especially given that the grimm is currently on the very outskirts of the city, away from the civilians if/when it's blown up. What kind of bomb might this be though? 

Could it, perhaps, end up being a now severely damaged android who is based off of Pinocchio? 

Time will tell. For now, the group is quite obviously upset that Ironwood is planning a big BOOM while Oscar (and Ozpin! Tellingly, no one mentions Ozpin...) is still inside. Here's the thing: Both sides are right here. YJR are right to be worried about their friend, while the Ace Ops — who have no emotional ties to Oscar and, as just established, are questioning whether or not a grimm really kidnapped him — are right that they cannot prioritize a single life over the entirety of Atlas. They just can't! And any hero worth their salt is going to recognize this. You cannot knowingly sacrifice thousands of people (if not more) for one (admittedly awesome) farm boy. It would be a different situation if the people of Atlas volunteered to remain in danger to give Oscar a chance at escape, but that obviously isn't the situation here. If someone told me, "Sorry, Clyde, we can't get you out because the place you're in is super dangerous and attempting to extract you would likely cause the rescue party to die. Also, the longer we don't blow this location up the longer lots of other people die" I'd be like, "Fair enough. Have a nice life!" I mean, obviously anyone would be terrified and devastated by the news, but if you're still thinking straight and have even an ounce of compassion for others, you don't trade all those lives for your own. Spock does not open the door to flood the whole Enterprise with radiation!

And notably, neither does Kirk. Oscar isn't given the chance to sacrifice himself — ignoring his choice to try and undermine Salem's forces rather than escaping — so Jaune, Ren, and Yang are deciding that for him. Which, again, makes sense for them emotionally, but it's still a selfish choice. They're prioritizing their family over everyone else's. If someone ever told me they’d risked a whole city for my sake I’d be touched, but also pissed as hell. Because what were you thinking? 

Which is really my biggest issue with this divide. It would have been nice if the show had done more to make me believe these three are that ride and die for Oscar. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that they are and I'll take this characterization over the apathy we had in the past, but let's be real, it kind of came out of nowhere. The group as a whole pretty much ignored Oscar up until the movie invite and two of these characters — Yang and Jaune — have actively hurt him in the name of getting at Ozpin. Now suddenly they're willing to toss aside their huntsmen duties — protect the people — in order to save him? Nice sentiment, it's just that, as always, we have very little development for it, especially given the level of emotion shown. Particularly when it comes to Ren. The prospect of someone sacrificing Nora? I 100% believe that he draws a hard line and this kick-starts a change in his semblance. Ren is shown to be thinking about how he lost his teammate Pyrrha? Totally believe it! Someone is sacrificing the kid I'm not sure he's ever had a conversation with? That's less persuasive. At the very least, it would have been nice to have the trio grapple with whether they can or should prioritize Oscar over everyone else, rather than taking such a black and white stance of, "Of course taking the time to save this one guy while everyone else dies is worth it. You're evil for thinking otherwise." 

We even get a shot of Winter's hand shaking and clenching like Yang's used to, just to hammer home who the correct party is. 

While they begin this argument we cut to Salem who is literally conducting her grimm in their attack against Atlas. 

Very nice. I love when a villain has 

Emerald watches her, clearly freaked out, and then sneaks off to where Oscar is held. In the hallway she encounters one of the jellyfish grimm, so she casually makes it not see her until it has passed. 

Her semblance works on grimm, but not “real girl” androids? Okay. 

We all realize how crazy powerful Emerald is though, right? The stuff that she could do in a fight is staggering and I'll be forever salty that all she managed in the Penny battle was to create a couple different Cinders. Emerald, Marrow, Salem herself... RWBY has a real problem of having the antagonists conveniently not use the power at their disposal when the heroes need to win. 

So Emerald starts listening in on Ozpin's torture. We learn that Hazel was recruited when he tried to kill Salem numerous times and had to watch her keep reforming. Which, if I remember correctly, is a technique she used back when she and Ozma were playing at Gods. It worked and now Hazel believes that they "share a vision. She's going to create a new world order," one without Kingdoms or Huntsmen Academies. No, says Ozpin, she's going to divide humanity past reform, summon the Gods, and hopefully die when they take out all of Remnant. 

...My god, did we finally get Salem's motivations after seven years? 

Seriously though: seven years. It's way too late, especially when we now have so many questions attached to this supposed goal. If Salem always wanted to divide the world irrevocably, why didn't she attack, oh, say, a thousand years ago? Why has she kept to the sidelines until now? None of this answers why she held off until our simple soul was conveniently ready to fight her. We also have the issue of Salem's knowledge, or lack thereof. So she obviously knows about the Relics and that they'll summon the Gods, but not how to work them? How did that come about? Even Ozpin's motivations are murky now. He repeats Salem's curse word-for-word — though notably, minus the "You must learn the importance of life and death. Only then may you rest" part — yet unless Salem told him this herself when they first reunited — and we know they both hid things from the other — Ozpin could have only gotten this line from the lore episode, something he witnessed along with us just a few weeks/months back. So is he only now realizing that this is what Salem wants the Relics for? Might he be wrong? Or did he somehow figure this out lifetimes ago and we're just not told how? If this is the case, why haven’t Salem’s motivations come up before now? 

This sudden, "Oh yeah, she's always wanted to die" feels pretty tacked on. Like RT had Salem arrive last Volume because that's ~cool~ and then suddenly realized that they have to deal with her motivations now, so they hastily cobbled this together. But, as said at the start, this is entirely expected for RWBY nowadays. A problem to be sure, though one we've been putting up with for a couple of years now. 

During all this, Hazel shouts that this is what Ozpin deserves and the first word out of his mouth is, "Yes." 

But Oscar and the rest of Remnant don't deserve it, so make the right choice for them. How did RT think they were going to make this guy an antagonist? Ozpin has so much self-hatred and yet is still trying SO HARD that he makes Ruby Drinking Tea While The World Burns Rose look laughable. 

Oh yeah, we'll be getting to that scene in just a second, but for now I just want us all to appreciate Ozpin as a character, even if the story won't. 

....

.......

..............

...Okay, moment done lol. Sorry, Oz, there's a lot to cover this episode. 

We cut to a semi-conscious Nora who asks Weiss, "Now what am I good for?" So that’s a double serving of oof. That's when Ruby arrives with fine china steaming with tea. Or coffee. Or hot chocolate. Whatever it is these girls are drinking. What comes next is accompanied by a strange kind of vindication for me. I mean, the fandom dragged me so hard for taking issue with their snuggly smiles during Ruby's message, yet now we literally have the girls sitting back in a mansion as everything goes to shit around them. I know the knee jerk reaction to this will be, "They have to watch over Nora" and “They deserve a break” but really? All three of them need to watch her? And a break during the height of the action? Blake says she hopes everyone else is okay, but who is actually out looking for information about the rest of their team? May. Who's going to do something to get Nora help? Whitley. These characters are so good at telling us they're the heroes while rarely ever displaying those traits. They all (somehow) saw the attack on Atlas and have the ability to get out there and defend people — the job they wanted — yet Ruby looks out the window and asks, "What can we even do?" while taking a long sip of tea. The people of Mantle are (supposedly) freezing to death, yet one of the few with aura, Weiss, sits by a roaring fire going, "Do we just wait for someone to come? If they even come.” I'm sorry, you didn't consider this before you told the whole world about Salem? No one questioned whether asking for potentially non-existent help was worth the risk and what they'd do if it never came? Or even just what they’d do in the meantime? I’m not saying the girls can’t have basic necessities like drinks, or that it can’t be done in style when that’s conveniently available. I’m saying them enjoying the food, warmth, and relative safety of the Schnee household (built on racism) while casually talking about what, if anything, they should do for the people dying outside looks a bit Not Good. "Should we wait for the fire department?" Asks the character as their kitchen burns, sitting beside a number of water buckets that could help slow things down. "If they even come," they sigh, taking another sip of tea. This is ridiculous! The city is currently under attack by the series' Big Bad and half our heroes are just sitting around, watching the evil lightning, wondering if they should try to do anything about it. 

"How did it all get like this?" Ruby asks her cup, ignoring the many steps she took to make things this bad. It continually boggles my mind that Ironwood is out here trying to keep people safe in the subway, coming up with a plan to blow up this whale, sending out an army to kill countless grimm... yet "What can we even do?" Ruby is supposed to be the hero here. You know, the one who has silver eyes and could one-shot huge numbers of Salem's army if she actually went out there and tried to help.  

Ironwood is taking action... and so is May. As said, she's the one out looking for info on their teammates and when she returns says that they should all get back down to Mantle. Why? Because, as mentioned earlier, Atlas at least has an army to help with things. Mantle only has them. 

Yet suddenly, Weiss doesn't want to leave. 

Where did this come from? They succeeded in their preferred plan of telling the world what's going on over Ren and Yang's plan of helping what people they could, and now they're looking for something to do. Why wouldn't they head back to help? (Especially now that the shields are down.) Weiss yells that there are people dying in Atlas too but, as established, Atlas has the army. And where was this concern when they refused to let Atlas leave? After a Volume and a half of pro-Mantle content, this seems to come out of nowhere. Worse, Weiss tries to guilt May by asking if she has family in Atlas, which leads to the reveal that she's trans. Her family rejected their daughter. 

I want to be clear that I'm very happy RT made this canon. For what she is — a side character we know incredibly little about — I really like May and the fact that they were clear in her identity rather than keeping it to twitter deserves recognition. Yet I'm not going to pretend that the reveal didn't leave a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, simply because we have this incredibly privileged cis girl, who knows a great deal about shitty families, hearing how horrible May's was and still trying to tell her she needs to suck it up and help Atlas over Mantle. When May angrily asks whose side she's on, Blake makes a comment about hearing that before, comparing her to Ironwood. May is painted as the misguided one here, but can you imagine if someone told Weiss to go help Jacques over her found family, Team RWBY, regardless of what he's done to her? The fandom would explode, and rightly so. There's something to be said for realism here, showing us Weiss and Blake's inability to see where May is coming from... but it doesn't feel like a commentary on that. It feels like another Penny situation: May is put in her place for being inconsiderate, even though this time it's her choosing to help people who are ALSO in danger over the people who represent family she's broken with. 

I wanted conflict this Volume and I absolutely got it, but damn if it isn’t badly thought out at times. 

Because rather than grappling with these personal motivations, Ruby brushes them aside by yelling, "There are no sides! We want to help everyone." 

Does that extend to Ironwood? Ruby's speeches started falling flat when she betrayed Ozpin, attacked Cordovin, betrayed Ironwood, attacked the Ace Ops... This girl does not want to "help everyone." She wants to help those who agree with her. 

Yet her rock solid optimism generates the question, “So how exactly do we get out of it?” which, as expected, Ruby has no answer to. The story keeps showing us how bad a leader Ruby has become, yet no one is actively responding to that. They kinda disagree about lying to Ironwood, but still go along with it. Yang kinda criticizes her sister, but that's then lost to general worry as they split (on Ruby's end, anyway). They want to know how she'll lead them next and are seemingly fine when Ruby continually says, "I don't know." At this point I'd be like, "Well... you didn't like May's plan of going back to Mantle, but apparently can't come up with a plan yourself... so I'm going to go with her." 

This is the same conflict we had last Volume: Ruby spoke optimistically about saving everyone, yet was unable to come up with a way to do that. Ironwood had a plan that, while horrific, might save a lot of lives. Yet Ruby is presented as the one to back. Now here she is, hours later, still unable to figure out a way to achieve her perfect outcome. Ruby wanting things to be a certain way is not going to make them so and I’m wondering when someone within the group is going to recognize and act on that. 

As Ruby fails to answer this crucial question, we pull back to see Whitley listening in at the door. 

Cutting back to Ozpin and Oscar, Hazel has listened to all this craziness about Gods, immortality, the destruction of Remnant... and literally goes, "Cool story, bro." 

Okay, he says "Nice story" but the emotion is the same. Which I'm really happy about! I mentioned in a recent post that, as far as we know, Hazel hasn't been told anything about the Gods up until now. What Ozpin is telling him sounds like gibberish at worst, incredibly hard to believe craziness at best. Now chuck in Mercury's point that as a tortured prisoner he'll say anything to get free, as well as the fact that this is Ozpin talking to Hazel... and I'm really glad Hazel just ignored his speech (for now at least). It wouldn't make sense otherwise. Granted, this means that the plan literally amounted to, “Let’s info dump a bunch of nonsense-sounding lore on our enemy in the hope that he’ll believe us and betray Salem.” It’s something to try, certainly, and it admittedly is a much better plan than what Oscar is about to cook up. 

So since Hazel won't listen to Ozpin, Oscar wants to try instead. Why did you two switch in the first place? It's really obvious that RT is having the characters do weird things in order to stretch out the plot. 

Either way, our farm boy is in control again. What new strategy will he try? 

"Her name is Jinn." 

This is BEYOND stupid. No, none of this "You have to trust people" nonsense. This is not “people,” this is Hazel. There is a Grand Canyon's width of difference between learning to trust your allies and blindly trusting an active villain who just rejected your "Please defect :(" speech. Even if we remove Hazel from the equation, this is still a monumentally foolish move. I mean, has Oscar considered where he is? This isn't some random warehouse he's been taken to, this is a semi-sentient grimm, a creature creating other creatures out of its ceiling

and whose doors automatically open when people need them to (Mercury). This is a living being created by and connected to Salem herself. How does Oscar know Salem can't hear everything he says? Or that the whale can't relay information to her? That the grimm in the walls won't pop out and run to their master? Or even that a normal person isn't listening in at the door — like Emerald is. If that had been Tyrian instead, that's it. They're done. Game over. 

Someone: "Wow. Salem got the Lamp and managed to ask where the Beacon Relic is. Since the school is still overrun by her army, she snatched it up quick, finished destroying Atlas, and is now on her way to Vacuo. She's nearly completed her plan in days! How did all this happen? 

Oscar: I, um... told her what she wanted to know?

Someone: You what?

Oscar: But not Salem! I just told Hazel! ... and then the information somehow got back to her. 

Someone: "Somehow?" You deliberately told one of Salem's henchmen this crucial piece of information, in a place where there was a good chance you would be overheard by conventional or magical means, and you're surprised that she "somehow" learned it and used that information to doom us all? 

Oscar: ...Yes? 

This is so staggeringly stupid it... well, it could only have been done by a kid. So at least that fits lol. Oscar, I love you, but Ozpin should have been screaming in horror the second those words left your mouth. Generations of precautions undone because a kid wants to believe the best of the guy currently pummeling him. Sweet, but stupid. I’m all for optimistic characters, they just can’t risk the whole world on that optimism. Oscar risking himself on the seemingly doomed plan to turn Hazel is one thing, Oscar risking all of Remnant on the seemingly doomed plan to turn Hazel is another thing entirely. 

Even though you know this is precisely how the story will go. Oscar willingly hands over Jinn's name to Salem's forces, but happily none of the THREE who hear about it will tell her. The story's unwillingness to follow through on consequences doesn't change what a bad move this was. I mean, Oscar himself accused Ironwood of playing into Salem's hands by disagreeing with them about how to not die, yet a few hours later he will willingly give Hazel the one piece of information Salem needs to move closer to world-wide destruction? That's uh... well, that's something. 

They should have just had the poor boy be tortured, spill the beans to make it stop, and start an arc of self-forgiveness. Oscar can be awesome without coming up with world-dooming plans. 

So yeah, Oscar is hoping that Hazel will use the Lamp himself and find out the truth. He wants Hazel to trust him and the man he despises most in the world enough to go against the immortal woman he's terrified of, get the Lamp away from her somehow to use for himself, wasting a once in a generation question to confirm all this, so that Salem will lose a guy with muscle who, to be frank, is absolute insignificant in the grand scheme of her power. Fantastic. 

As said, Emerald overhears all this and immediately runs to Mercury, who is less than convinced by her "Salem wants to destroy the world" talk. Just as he's expressing doubt, Tyrian appears to confirm that this is exactly what she wants to do — and he's loving it. 

“Of course she is! You’re surprised? Salem is destruction incarnate!” 

It's a legit point. Are our villains so dense they never considered that Salem might do something to the world they didn't like? It's like the group not thinking about how Salem is still around if Ozpin has been fighting her for a thousand years. RWBY continually gives the impression that these characters don't think about their situation past what they're doing at any given moment. 

Tyrian maintains his title as best villain though, simply because I understand what he's doing, why he's doing it, and he's so damn good at it. 

Also, can we appreciate Mercury's face here? 

Amazing. This is the kind of humor we should be getting in such a tragedy-laden Volume. 

The two of them, Tyrian and Mercury, head off to Vacuo for the Secret Mission, despite Mercury's newfound hesitation. I quite liked these quiet moments between him and Emerald. It has a very "Do what you've gotta do" vibe while showcasing their care for one another, something we haven't seen in a while. 

Back with the airship group. YJR are still horrified that Ironwood would blow up Oscar (even though he has no idea Oscar is there), begging the Ace Ops to give them "a chance to try to rescue him first.” Ren goes pretty hard on the "no one is replaceable" bit, which is frustrating not being what he’s saying is inaccurate (it’s not), but because that's not the issue here. The writing has Harriet start yelling about Marrow replacing her old teammate and Winter replacing Clover, but the question is not whether you'll just forget a teammate and move on with someone new, but whether you're willing to sacrifice them for the greater good. That's the stance: Should we sacrifice one life to save thousands? Will you, as a protector of the people, put those people before your own found family? Yet what RT has Harriet say is: Oscar is replaceable. Which obviously makes her come across as an ass. Like the random soldier questioning Ironwood — or making Elm about to punch a defenseless Ren in her anger — it exists solely to show how bad these character are... even as they say pretty persuasive things. 

The writing also continues to be confused about whether the Ace Ops are friends or not. Yang certainly didn't think so... up until she asks (rhetorically) whether Marrow would sacrifice himself for Elm, Harriet, and Vine. Since their introduction, the story has loudly insisted that the Ace Ops aren't friends... up until it's revealed ("revealed") that Harriet is actually gutted about Clover. So which is it? Are we supposed to believe that these are cold soldiers who only work together out of duty, or that they're a team who clearly love one another? I'd say that show has shown us the latter, but it doesn't seem to understand what point it's trying to make. Does this look like a soldier who doesn’t care? 

It’s especially weird when Ren again makes the claim that this is why they lost to Team RWBY. Because they're not a team.

...So is this why they did such a fantastic job fighting the geist, demonstrating such perfect teamwork that the group was open-mouthed impressed? Is this why they nearly took down a Maiden together? Is this why Ren, while furious at Yang and Jaune, was still able to work seamlessly with them to try and rescue Oscar? Do we think if Yang was suddenly beside Ruby again that the two would fail spectacularly in a fight because they had a minor disagreement? 

This is now the third time RT has tried to excuse nerfing the Ace Ops with, "They disagree about things and are thus not friends and thus can't fight well together" — despite all evidence to the contrary — and it's getting really old. 

At one point Harriet tells Ren, "I had you pegged as the most level-headed of the bunch, but I guess you’re just as naïve" which, ignoring her then random claim that people are replaceable, is correct. I also pegged Ren as the most level-headed of the bunch considering he was just yelling at Yang for how much damage they've caused, all the mistakes they've made, and that maybe — just maybe — they should have tried harder to work with Ironwood. Yet now here he is, in a position to start that process, and the Ren we got in the snow is simply gone. He's fully Team Yang and Jaune again, facing off against the evil Ace Ops. 

I knew this was going to happen, but it's still disappointing. The story gave Ren a great speech to appease those of us frustrated with the direction the story has taken... and now we’re back to ignoring that. Ren was told off for daring to question how great the group is, apparently thought it over in the snow, and is now of the opinion that yes, they are that great. People are going to die because of us? Who cares about that anymore! We will absolutely, single-handedly rescue Oscar and there's no reason why this might be a questionable choice when an entire city is on the line. Again, emotionally understandable (if we buy into the group suddenly loving Oscar this much), but it rings hollow right after making Ren the one person who was willing to look at the big picture. 

Good news though: Jaune got the braincell this week! He suggests that they go in to try and rescue Oscar/provide intel, but won't stop the Ace Ops from launching the bomb when necessary. 

See, this is heroic. This is what the group should have done during the Mantle conflict: Volunteering to take the personal risk of facing off against Salem while letting Atlas try to escape. Basically, not forcing everyone else to risk their lives for their pipe dream, which is what Ren and Yang want by rejecting the bomb entirely. Jaune recognizes here that they can't prioritize Oscar over an entire city, but also that they may still be able to save him before the bomb is complete and ready to go. So they compromise, with JYR the only ones at risk. 

Good job, Jaune! 

Winter agrees to this plan with a firm, "I outrank you" to Harriet. People are going to love that. 

Oh, but in his anger Ren's semblance suddenly changes. So we're back to the ridiculous. 

Truthfully, I like this direction. Granted, I would have liked some buildup to it, especially since this is the second time this Volume that RWBY has dropped a major semblance change on us, but the idea itself is really cool. Ren can now see emotions! Awesome! And I don't mean that sarcastically. I actually think that’s a neat extension of his original semblance. 

Too bad the story seems to think he's a mind reader. 

Seriously, take a look back at the dialogue. What Ren sees are confetti-like petals floating around a person, their color seeming to determine their emotional state. Red means Harriet is mad, blue is sadness for Marrow, etc. But what Ren ends up saying is a great deal closer to mind reading. Harriet is angry about Clover and is gutted at his loss. Marrow is questioning his place here and wants to leave. These aren't base emotions, they're targeted thoughts and feelings about situations not immediately apparent from the verbal conversation. “In fact, you don’t want to be a part of it at all anymore." How does Ren know that? They just gave him telepathy instead of the cool power with firm limitations that the imagery suggests. 

There are also some, uh... iffy implications in all this. For example, Ren allows Yang privacy by not reading her mind emotional state, but has no qualms about reading every one of the Ace Ops’. So privacy is only for the people you care about, huh? 

We could also say something about RT perpetuating unfortunate racial stereotypes: the two women of color are pure anger, the marginalized man is pure sadness, the Asian coded character is pure calm... and the white woman set to turn against the others gets a mix of all emotions. AKA, human complexity. 

To be clear, I don't think RT is doing this deliberately. Rather, they’re writers who have demonstrated time and time again that they don't have a good handle on depicting the sort of sensitive material that RWBY is infused with, and that extends to the mild, but still unfortunate, implications in scenes like this. Even if we ignore the iffy details — a benefit of the doubt that, at this point, many fans aren’t willing to grant — we're still left with the continuity errors. Visually, we're presented with a woman who is experiencing multiple emotions at once and is, therefore, torn. Yet Ren reads Winter definitively: "I know you [don't want this] either." It's yet another moment that makes me wonder how much communication there is between the writers and the animators, because too often the two seem to be at odds with each other. 

As the group prepares to go into the belly of the beast (literally!) we return to Ruby who is, once again, failing to make me believe she's this super compassionate person. 

“Wait! What about Qrow and Robyn? Maybe if we get them out of wherever they’re held—”

Please tell me I'm not the only one who took issue with this? Ruby doesn't express an ounce of worry for her uncle, not even when she learns he's been arrested, and the one time she brings him up it's in the context of what he can do for them in this fight? Ruby doesn't grapple with whether to rescue her uncle (personal desire), or get the message to the world (her version of the heroic action) and then realize that, now that her duty is done, she can finally turn to the more selfish act of helping her immediate family. Instead, Ruby seems perfectly happy to let Qrow stay in prison up until she's unsure what to do next and thinks that maybe he has the answer. Heaven forbid Ruby think about rescuing him because she loves him.

Sadly, this Ruby is long gone. 

In recent years she's expressed no gratitude for him saving her life, no respect for him as her teacher, demonstrated incredibly little compassion for his own struggles, and outright told him that if he wasn't going to listen to her then he doesn't need to be part of the team. Then he's arrested and she doesn't care until she deems him useful again. Like the fandom wondering where the sisterly bond between Ruby and Yang went, I'm likewise wondering where the bond between Ruby and Qrow went. 

May outright rejects this though, yelling that they still don't get it. “This is not a situation where everyone wins!" 

She tells the trio they have to choose for once: Are you going to help Mantle, or Atlas? 

...which means there's immediately a knock at the door, interrupting the moment where they have to decide. 

See, this is just like Ren. The story keeps giving us moments where characters speak absolute truth, dangling the potential for the group to grow from these realizations... only to pull back before it goes anywhere. Ren is once again aligned with Yang and Jaune in their desire to save Oscar. May's demand is interrupted by the plot. If means nothing to give us these moments unless the story acts on them. 

It's Klein at the door. Whitley called him to help with Nora because I guess he's a doctor now, as well as a butler? Fine. Let’s run with it. Weiss is super pleased to see him and hugs Whitley for the good deed. 

Why so shocked that Whitley would look out for another, Weiss? Could it be because he's had so little reason to be kind when everyone, including you, has treated him horribly? If Klein always had these medical skills — if you’ve grown up with a doctor — why didn’t you talk to your brother and ask if he knew how to contact him? And of course, she apologizes to Klein for her father’s actions, but not to Whitley for her own. Whitley's surprise isn't cute to me. 

Weiss stuck a weapon in his face, insulted him, sent him to his room like a toddler... and now is randomly hugging him because he did something she liked. The context of this scene doesn't paint Weiss in a good light. Like the rest of her friends, she only extends basic respect and kindness towards others when they're assisting her. Whitley was nothing to her until he suddenly proved himself useful. That's not cute sibling love, it's a love that's going to run out the moment Whitley puts a toe out of line, according to Weiss' unspoken list of what behavior keeps him in her good graces. 

I believe that Klein cares for Whitley because he greets him kindly and gives him that shoulder pat on the way up. Whitley didn't need to first prove himself to Klein somehow and Klein didn't start this interaction by shoving a gun in Whitley's face, just in case he wouldn't let him through the door. They feel more like family than this hug does. 

So yeah, Whitley and May have done more good this episode than our entire main cast. How about we just make this story about the side characters instead? 

We then hear a massive boom and the group runs out to find a crater. Penny has landed in front of the manor, which is pretty convenient considering we saw her pass out as she fell. 

She's somehow still in control despite the hack and apologizes to Ruby, then falls unconscious (again). 

And that's where we end! Definitely a cliffhanger, though a rather underwhelming one considering we already knew Penny was in serious trouble. As said at the start, this episode felt rather underwhelming to me, especially as a halfway point before a hiatus, and compared to some of the stuff we've seen previously. It's not bad per-se — especially if we ignore the issues that have been around for an age now, which is most of what this recap deals with — it's just not terribly exciting either. Everything of importance — Salem's attack, Oscar's rescue, Penny's demise, subordinates turning, Nora's condition, etc. — had already been established in previous episodes and very little of it moved forward. Ren's semblance is the only thing the episode gave us that we couldn't have (generically) guessed for ourselves between last Saturday and now. 

So yeah, underwhelmed is the mood of the day, with a hefty dose of salt for everything that continues to be a story-breaking problem in this show. I will say though that, as has become the trend for this Volume, all the establishing shots are gorgeous. RWBY is, at the very least, pretty to look at. 

As a final note, in lieu of the Bingo board (since, again, not a whole happens plot-wise) I want to point out something mentioned by a friend: how absolutely bonkers our timeline is now. We began the second day last episode with the sun rising (recall that Jaune had tried to sleep that night at the outpost. So it’s definitely sunrise as opposed to sunset).

And we re-confirm that it’s sunrise at the start of this episode.

Yet throughout the episode many of our shots take place at night (note the stars behind the trio).

These moments with Ruby can't take place in the past because they're talking about the attack, an attack that only happened after Jaune's group met up with the Ace Ops and the geyser attacked — during early morning. I doubt I'm supposed to believe that it has been another full day of Salem starting an attack, a full day for the group to fly to the whale, a full day for Penny to fall, a full day which would put us at the end of the Volume’s timeline at only the halfway point... so I think RT is just going for the aesthetic of night shots without thinking about what that does to the continuity. It's a mess. 

Not the highest praise to end on, but I’m working with what I’ve got lol. I feel as naïve as Oscar when I say that maybe Part II will be better. 

I will, of course, see you all in six weeks. Until then, I'll do my best to catch up on asks. Another doomed endeavor, but one can try!

A very Happy Holidays to all of you who celebrate and, as always, thanks so much for reading! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

[literaila]

how could this ever be different (2) ?

part two 

spencer reid x reader 

summary: Spencer goes undercover in Las Vegas, he may just catch feelings along the way... warnings: innacurate things about Las Vegas because I’ve never been, BAU stuff, dumb spencer, love him, nothing else, except this is really just a “get to know y/n”  series masterlist here

**

Spencer wasn't sure what he was expecting. 

There were so many things that could happen, so many possibilities, so many things that were unknown, so many things he didn't have the statistics for. 

He didn't know anything about going undercover, nothing besides the week he got to spend cramming his brain with information before he left for Las Vegas. 

He hadn't gotten very far. 

It seemed that every situation was unique, that no agent who had ever been undercover could give any information. Every person, every unsub, was different, and there was no specific way to deal with the situation. 

Spencer didn't like going into situations he didn't know anything about. 

He’d asked Garica to get him a file on Y/N. 

And here's what he knew about her: she had a masters degree, which wasn't being put to use, she’d been working at that same bookstore for two years, she’d lived her whole life in Las Vegas, she had a brother, and her parents weren't anywhere to be found. 

That was it. Just tiny details. 

He hoped it would be enough to get him started. 

After a week had gone by the plans were made, he was going to live in a small apartment close to the book shop, he was going to send a report once a day, and otherwise, no one was to contact him unless he needed anything. 

He was going to be completely alone. With a murder suspect. 

He would be fine. 

They all said he would be fine. They were probably right. He could do this. 

***

Spencer hadn't slept at all the night he’d moved in. 

He hadn't brought everything, knowing that- hopefully -he would be moving back home in only a couple of weeks. But even with the few things he had brought, his toothbrush, books, and some clothes, he still had to unpack. 

And it didn't exhaust him like he had hoped it would. 

He’d tossed and turned all night, anxiety wracking at his bones. He had no idea what he was doing, no idea what to expect, and on top of that, he had people depending on him. 

The more-than-usual dark spots under his eyes could prove that. 

But he had a job to do, he had a girl to get to know, and a murder to catch. 

He walked to the bookstore early in the morning, hoping to get there before it opened just so he could know where he was going. Although he had lived there as a kid, things had changed so much, he could only recognize the layout, not the places. 

It was a small little shop. It looked like a bookstore with a cafe in it. He could tell there was no one in there, which he had guessed, it being only five in the morning. 

He was going to wait. There was a bench close enough to the store, he would wait there and finalize his plan. 

It turned out that Spencer was more tired than expecting. And that the bench he was sitting on was extremely comfortable. 

He fell asleep thirty minutes into waiting. 

The sun rested on his face in a warm glow, his body was curled into itself- at least as much as it could be while sitting on a bench -and his hand rested gently against his face, holding his head up. His eyes fluttered as he breathed, in and out, on a bench where he was just supposed to wait. It was so warm. 

People passed by and gave him acknowledging looks. All of them knew what it was like to fall asleep after a night out. 

Spencer didn't see them, too at peace to notice anything around him. 

Except, of course, the person gently shaking his shoulder. 

He opened his eyes to be blinded by the sun, he could feel the red forming on his cheeks, a sunburn imminent. He could only see a shadow of a person standing in front of him. 

He wondered why he was being blinded by the sun for a moment before he remembered falling asleep. 

Oh. 

He sat up, his back cracking at the quick motion, he squinted his eyes and looked back up at the person who had woke him up. 

They were staring at him with anxious eyes. 

She was. 

“Are you alright?” her modulated voice sounded almost as anxious as her eyes looked, her mouth turned down as she waited for his response. He could tell how closed off she was, her arms crossed over her chest, her leg shaking as she stood in front of him. 

He shook his head, trying to wake his mind up, trying to get his eyes to stay open. He still felt so tired. 

“You’re not? Is there something I can do? I can call-” she rushed out again, her face only more panicked. Spencer quickly realized she thought he was shaking his head at her question.

“No, no.” he interrupted her, not wanting her to get too overworked. “Sorry,” he anxiously laughed, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “I just fell asleep waiting for the stores to open.” 

He looked back up at her eyes, her insistent eye contact making him nervous, and he watched as she squinted at him. 

“Are you sure?” she asked again, almost as if she thought he was lying to her. 

“Yes, yeah” he cleared his throat, standing up, his legs wobbling under the pressure. “Um, I’m fine,” he said again, his eyes widened as he got used to the quick rush of blood to his head. 

“Sir, I can call you a cab. Um, I don't know if you should be walking around alone in your condition.” Her voice caught his attention again, and he looked down at her, noticing the height difference between the two of them. He hadn't noticed she was still standing there. 

His brows furrowed and his mouth shaped into a flat line, “In my condition?” he asked, confused, almost offended. 

“Alcohol can do dangerous things to the body, and of course, I’d pay for the taxi, I just don't want you to get-” 

“I’m not drunk.” Spencer interrupted, finally realizing why she looked so nervous at his insistence that he was okay. 

“You’re not?” she said, her words much slower now. 

“No, I just fell asleep.” when she still looked doubtful he continued “I swear. Just a bit dizzy is all.” 

She turned away, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, suddenly more self-conscious, more guarded. “Okay then,” she said, making eye contact one more time before looking down again. “I’ll uh, I’ll let you do whatever you meant to do today,” she paused again and Spencer watched her start to walk away. “I’m sorry for bothering you, have a good day!” she called before walking off. 

Her behavior was strange. Her body language had changed so quickly, her confident demeanor transformed in an instant. Spencer shook his head again, reminding himself that he had a job to do. No matter how confused he was, he had to go meet their unsub. 

He walked down a street for a moment, finding the right bookstore from earlier quickly. He took a look inside, saw the lights on, the shop lit up so early in the morning. 

He took a deep breath. He reminded himself that he could do this, that it wasn't going to be as difficult as he was imagining. His team trusted him, he needed to trust himself. 

He took another deep breath and walked in. 

It was so much different inside. 

It smelled like spices, like a million different coffees all combined. It was bright in there, the sun helping, but the lights doing even more magic. There were lights everywhere, providing a sense of warmth, of comfort. 

Spencer looked around at the books. It was a small shop, smaller than most bookstores he frequented at, but there were so many books. Different spaces were built into the walls to hold more books, bookshelves lining areas. There were little cabinets next to the tables close to what Spencer guessed was the cafe, little cabinets that held more books. 

It seemed so peaceful, so much like a different world. 

It was strange that a murder could be resting between those comforting walls. 

He walked around for a moment, glancing at all the book titles, amazed at the selection hidden between the different covers. 

No, no. He had a job to do. 

He walked to the front, already aware that she would be there today, it said so on her schedule which Garcia had conveniently gotten for him. 

But there was only one person there. 

The girl. 

The same girl that had thought he was intoxicated. 

She must have noticed him out of the corner of her eye, because she looked over a little bit shocked, a gasp leaving her mouth. He was worried he had scared her before she started talking, a hand raised up to her chest as if she was trying to catch her breath. 

“Oh. It's you.” Her eyebrows were raised, and she looked surprised at his presence. “Sorry,” she said motioning to the book on her lap, an explanation of why she had been so surprised he was there. “Usually no one comes in until at least eight.” 

Spencer swore he could feel the tension in the room. It was so much different in the store than it had been outside, her quick change in confidence hadn't since changed back, and she still seemed closed off. 

Why? 

Spencer stared at her another moment, thinking of how she didn't seem like a murderer, she seemed compassionate. She had been worried about him earlier, she had wished him a good day, she had offered to call and pay for a cab just so he got home safe. 

She didn't seem anything like the sadist they had profiled. 

In one quick moment, Spencer blurted out “You’re Y/N?”. 

She looked a bit confused, a bit surprised, possibly offended at his tone of voice- the tone he was regretting only moments after -and a bit horrified. 

After watching her face for a moment Spencer realized his slip up. 

He wasn't supposed to know her name. 

“How do you know my name?” 

“Oh um,” Spencer started, quickly looking for a way out, he looked down at her name tag, relieved that it was actually her name. “Your nametag.” he finished, looking back up at her eyes, trying to be convincing, cursing himself for letting it slip. 

“Oh,” she said, all the emotions Spencer could see only a second ago draining out of her like water. “Okay. Can I help you?” she asked, her voice changing significantly. Spencer guessed this was her customer service voice. 

He almost wanted to laugh. 

His heart was beating loud in his chest. He was even more nervous now that he knew who she was, knew that she was the unsub, knew that she hadn't caught him yet. 

“I’m just looking,” he said, all of his plans going to fail. He needed to talk to her, he needed to get to know her, but he had already made a mistake, and he was so confused that she was his suspect. 

“Okay. I’m here all day today,” she answered, looking away from him, back down at her book. 

It was a weird introduction. 

All of the things that had happened near this unsub was weird. 

He needed to come up with a new plan. 

He sat down in an old chair next to a small table. He had a view of the front and a cabinet of books next to him. 

And he watched. 

*

Five hours later and Spencer was still watching. 

He just watched. 

He figured that observing for today would be alright, that his team would understand, that it was his assignment, that he could do whatever he wanted as long as he did his job. Observing was a good place to start. 

He ordered himself a coffee, which Y/N brought to him with cautious eyes.

And he sipped it as he watched. 

She seemed to be the only person working. At least this morning. She worked both the register and the cafe, moving back and forth almost effortlessly. He watched as she quickly rang up customers, and made other peoples coffees. 

She had very expressive eyes. Eyes that seemed to put all of her emotions on display. He could tell when she was worried when she was being careful around someone when she genuinely seemed happy to do something when there was someone she liked there. Her eyes changed with every movement, with every thought that seemed to cross her mind. 

It made Spencer's job just a little bit easier. 

She seemed to know that her emotions were on display for the world to see because she closed herself off, she avoided eye contact with almost everyone, besides a couple of customers that seemed to know her. She looked up and down, and everywhere except for someone's face. It made Spencer wonder why she had been so willing to look at him earlier that morning. 

He watched as she directed people to different books, as she carefully recalled someone's order of coffee. He watched her blow the hair out of her eyes, and smile at each person that walked up to her, he listened to her voice- which he now knew to be the customer service voice as he had guessed earlier -listened to her talk to each customer, ask how their days had been. He watched it all. 

Occasionally he looked down, focused on the book he had picked out, tried not to seem too suspicious, read through the pages like he always did. 

That part was simple. 

What wasn't simple was the girl. This girl who was supposed to be a murder. This girl who he was supposed to be arresting in only a couple of weeks. 

She wasn't anything like they’d profiled. 

She was empathetic, and she worked with the customers like she’d been doing it all her life, she smiled, and she expressed her thoughts, and she asked them about their days. She never looked at any of the women walking in with any extra malice, she never did anything that seemed even slightly threatening. She just worked, and she never got mad. Not even at the customers who seemed to expect the world from her, not even when they got mad at her for just doing her job. She never once snapped, never once lost the smile that seemed to be plastered on her face. 

She closed herself off sometimes, but that was the only closest to anything they’d profiled. 

She was so much different than he’d been expecting. 

That made him nervous. He wasn't sure if they had profiled something wrong if he was doing something wrong, he wasn't sure if he was doing anything right. There was something off. Something wrong. 

He hated the unknown. 

He hated that even though she seemed like an open book he didn't know anything about her. The first day wasn't going well. 

He told himself that it was fine, that he would ask Derek for help, that it was only the first day, that he would figure it out tomorrow. 

He told himself that over and over, still, it felt like there was something wrong. 

He was debating himself in his head when he felt a tap on his shoulder. 

A strangely familiar tap. 

“Um, hi, again.” she started, looking away from him. “I’m about to take my break in around fifteen minutes. And I have to kick you out. I’m sorry.” 

Spencer frowned. 

“You can come back in an hour! I just need to eat lunch and I-” 

“Oh, no it's not that sorry. Just thought of something. Of course, I’ll get out of your way.” Spencer quickly shut the book he was reading, noting the page number, and placed it on the stack of books he’d already read so he could take them back to the bookshelves. 

He was about to walk away when she stopped him. 

“Did you read all of those?” she said softly, and when Spencer turned her eyes were wide, almost shocked. When she noticed him looking at her, she moved back, crossed her arms again. He frowned for a moment before remembering how she seemed to take that before. He looked down at his books. 

“Yeah. I- um I read really fast.” 

She shook her head, smiled a different smile then he’d seen before, and chuckled a little. “No, I read fast. That looks like you skimmed a couple of pages off of each book, and decided you were done.” 

Spencer smiled at her a little bit, used to the question, watched her, looked for any signs of jealousy. 

“I just read fast,” he said again, watching. 

“There's 14 books here!” she exclaimed, a full-on smile now filling her face. Spencer was more confused. Why did that make her smile? Why wasn't she closed off anymore? 

His question went answered when she heard how loud her own voice was when she clapped her hand over her mouth when her brows furrowed and she looked almost angry. 

He was confused when he watched her relax when her shoulders went slack and her eyes turned away from him. 

“I- Customers-” she stuttered, and she walked away. 

Spencer felt himself confused, felt his heart race, watched as this girl walked away. 

He didn't know anything about her. 

It was day one and he didn't know anything about her. 

He decided he needed more time to think. 

He decided it was time to leave. 

He would be back tomorrow. 

***

Met unsub today. 

She has a weird way of closing herself off in certain instances. 

She doesn't seem to connect easily, but I didn't get close enough to tell. There have been no other signs of sadism, and nothing that alerts me to psychopathic tendencies. 

More tomorrow. 

Agent Morgan should call me. 

I have questions. 

Dr. Spencer Reid. BAU. 

***

masterlist here 

love you 

[obwjam]

ok but old man Rex finding a tiny on the Ghost/Rebel ships and taking them in and caring for them not only because they're vulnerable, but because he used to have a tiny kid during the Clone Wars and last time he wasn't there for them they disappeared, so he's not letting that happen again.

PLEEEEEASE ugh i’ve been sent asks like this before but i love and cherish every single one of them because i just adore old man rex...... so here have some writing :)

------------------------------------------------------

He wouldn’t stop staring at you. You thought you were going insane.  Every time you nudged someone to say, ‘Hey, look, I’m not crazy,’ he would immediately look away. The worst part is that when you tried to talk to him, he would stare at the floor and clench his jaw and fail to find his words.

“Ezra? Ezra!”

You reached up to tug a lock of your friend’s hair to get his attention. They called their ship the Ghost, so you referred to them as The Ghost Crew. They had found you on Lothal just a few short weeks ago, smack in the middle of an empty field that you were laboring to trek across -- fleeing the city had been difficult enough as it was. Ezra, understanding the struggle of not having any family, offered you a place on the Ghost until you could find other borrowers to stay with.

But these people didn’t know how to stay out of trouble. You happily supported the rebel cause, but kept your distance from the action. The Clone War had taken too much out of you already. Hera was happy to have some company on the ship, anyway.

“Ow! Hey! What, what is it?” Ezra groaned, rubbing his head gingerly.

“Shh! Look. He’s doing it. Watch, watch!”

Everyone seemed to trust this clone. Fulcrum -- ahem, Ahsoka -- spoke highly of him. He was willing to help and knew a lot about everything. Even Kanan had some respect for him, though he would never admit it.

So why did he act weird only around you?

Ezra tried to discreetly glance at Rex, but Ezra was about as discreet as a Star Destroyer. Rex locked eyes with Ezra, confused, before his gaze wandered down to you. Less confused.

“Eum... this is awkward,” Ezra said, joining in on the staring contest. “I see what you mean now, (Y/n).”

At that, Rex flushed red. He didn’t think he was being obvious, but apparently it was worse than he thought. He swore the more he stared at you, the more you looked like...

“Everything okay in here?”

Kanan was standing in the threshold, wondering what exactly the stand-off was for. He immediately sensed something was off, and when he turned to Rex, the alarm bells were ringing loud.

“We were just leaving,” you spoke up, hoping Ezra would respond quickly.

“Hm? Oh, oh yeah. We’re, uh. We’re leaving now.”

You rolled your eyes but grabbed on tight as Ezra spun on his heels and headed back up to his bunk. He still wasn’t very in tune with the Force, but even he could feel your apprehension.

Rex sighed. He couldn’t keep flubbing like this. He was a grown man. A very grown man. He made a mistake; one among many. He didn’t need to keep beating himself up about it. There was nothing he could do to change it. Maybe that was the worst part.

“He’s really been doing that the whole time?” Ezra asked, scooping you up off his shoulder and placing you on the bedside table as he flopped down on his bed.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” you sighed, exasperated. “I don’t get it. It’s like he has it out for me.”

“Do you think he’s gonna do something? Like, kidnap you and turn you in to the Empire?”

“Ezra... I don’t think he’s secretly Empire.”

“Well, maybe borrowers are highly valuable to some Imperial general! Maybe Rex just wants some extra credits.”

“You’re really not helping right now.”

“Okay, sorry, sorry.” Ezra looked over at you slumped over with your head in your hands. He frowned. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“Ask him? Are you crazy?”

Ezra shrugged. “I mean, it couldn’t hurt, right? If you don’t think he’s bad.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but found you didn’t actually have a counterargument. Sometimes Ezra stumbled his way into a half-decent idea.

Rex wasn’t in the mood to deal with Kanan scolding him for no good reason, so he quickly retreated back to the guest quarters that he called home on the Ghost. Maybe he should just go back to Seelos. Maybe getting involved in this rebellion was a bad idea. Maybe--

“Um. Rex?”

Rex froze. He looked up toward the door, wondering if maybe he was just hearing things, before realizing who exactly was speaking to him. Almost afraid, his eyes flickered to the ground.

“Oh. H-hi, (Y/n),” Rex stuttered. His face had gone cold.

“Can I...?” you asked, jerking your head forward and trying to keep your cool. Rex was sitting, but you rarely liked to walk around by yourself on the Ghost. Looking up at everyone and everything made you sweat.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” Rex nodded, weakly gesturing for you to come in. “Why are -- what’re you doing here?”

“I, uh. I wanted to -- just ask you something. If that’s okay.”

“Of course, kiddo,” Rex said, suddenly grimacing when he let that nickname slip. “Do you, uh, do you need me to...” He glanced to his hand resting on his knee. You nodded awkwardly and took a small step backward as Rex took a knee and placed his hand in front of you. The silence was deafening in the several seconds it took for him to bring you from the floor up to the table.

Once back on solid ground, you shuffled your feet, barely able look at the very person you were supposed to be speaking to. You didn’t think this would be easy, but you couldn’t even find a word to grab onto and vocalize.

“Is... everything alright?” Rex knew why you were here, but someone needed to say something.

You pursed your lips. Here goes nothing. “I... I’m sorry,” you started. Rex raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong, or -- or if I said something stupid to make you mad. Ezra and I, we like to joke around, I swear, we didn’t mean anything by it--”

“Stop.”

You froze. Great, now he’s really mad.

Rex was wringing his hands, having just as much trouble finding the right thing to say as you were. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’ve been acting strange, and you deserve an explanation why.” He stole a glance at you. You were just waiting.

Rex sighed, his breath quivering slightly. Here goes nothing. “Believe it or not, you’re not the first borrower I’ve met. Back during the war, I knew... well, let’s just call them a friend. Found them rummaging through camp on some backwater planet. They were scared, and -- and had nowhere to go. So we took ‘em in -- me and the boys in the 501st. It took ‘em a while. They were really frightened to be around us and it took forever to get their trust. But we were inseparable.” He laughed faintly at some old memory. “The kid was always getting into some kind of trouble. Drove Dogma crazy. I think Echo and Fives encouraged ‘em to mess around, just to make him mad. Huh, annoyed me too. But I couldn’t get mad at them.” Rex shivered and closed his eyes. Why was it so cold in here now? “I... I don’t remember exactly where we were. Some ice planet, it was horrible. Cody wanted to see me, and they didn’t want to be left alone. I shouldn’t have let them come... but they insisted. I thought I had them... no, I know I had them with me. But it was windy, and the snow was blinding. We looked everywhere for them. I swear we scanned the entire planet. But the blizzard was so bad I couldn’t even retrace my steps. Felt like I was walking in damn circles, calling their name until I lost my voice...”

Rex trailed off. He was completely out of words. He had used up all his energy, and all he could focus on right now was breathing.

You could barely process what you just heard. It was all eerily familiar. “Rex...” you started. You needed to take a breath of your own. “I’m--”

Rex cut you off. “You don’t need to say anything. It’s okay. You just... well, you just remind me so much of them.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You weren’t expecting that.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have -- I’m sorry.”

“Rex. You don’t need to apologize. It’s okay.” You didn’t entirely mean that, but it’s what he needed to hear. It took a lot to admit what he did, and you knew it.

Rex sniffed a laugh. “It’s really not okay, but, thanks.”

You sighed. Rex’s hand, which was now resting on the table, was shaking ever so slightly. Once you took the first step, it was easy. You shuffled over to Rex’s hand and placed your own on his finger. Rex flinched and looked down in surprise. Slowly, his hand stopped shaking.

“You’re not the first clone I’ve ever met, either. I’ve lost a lot of people, and’ve had a lot of people lose me. It’s... normal. I’ve never really had a place to call home. Can’t even remember how I got to Lothal.” You took a breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say is... your friend was really, really lucky to have you. It’s rare for borrowers to find people to care about us. That kind of friendship, no matter how short, is worth a lifetime of happiness.”

You felt a spray of water hit your arm, and you looked up. Rex had let a tear fall.

“Thanks, kid. That... really means a lot.”

Rex forced a smile down to you, but there was a hint of relief to it. You beamed back up. He kept staring. You laughed nervously.

“What?”

Rex shook his head. “Nothing. I-it’s nothing.”

“Hey, if you just told me that, you can tell me anything,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. Rex just grimaced. “Just say it. It’s okay. I promise.”

“Well...” Rex wiped his eyes. “Hera was telling me they were trying to find a home for you.”

You nodded curiously. “Yeah. The Ghost crew has been really nice to me, but I can’t be in the middle of all this action. Not again. We’re just trying to find a nice, quiet planet.”

“I... don’t want to impose. And you can say no. But me and a couple of old friends have retrofitted an old AT-TE on Seelos, way out in the Outer Rim. That’s where I was before Ahsoka asked me to help out the crew here. But I’m too old for all this action... I’ll help where I can, but--”

“--are you asking me to go back with you?”

Rex’s face flushed red. “Y-yeah. That’s exactly what I’m asking. It’s real remote. You’d be safe.”

Still leaning against Rex’s hand, you looked down at your shoes as you thought over his proposal. You really liked the Ghost crew. They were nothing but kind to you, barely ever making you feel like you were small. But even though it had only been a couple weeks, it felt like there was no safe world in the galaxy, and definitely no world the Ghost could travel to without being followed.

And as weird as it was, there was something endearing about Rex. He was different than any clone you had ever met. They weren’t exactly known for their emotional vulnerability, but Rex had shared with you a story you suspect he hadn’t told to anyone in decades. That counted for something. A lot of somethings, actually.

“Yeah.”

Rex paused for a moment and blinked. “What?”

“I’m taking you up on your offer,” you smiled. “I’ll go to Seelos with you.”

“You... you’re serious?”

You nodded with a small smirk. “I’m done running and hiding. I just... want to relax.”

“I’m serious, you don’t have to say yes--”

“--I am serious! I said yes! So don’t make me change my mind.”

For the first time in a while, Rex let out a genuine laugh. “Okay, okay.” 

You only got a moment to bask in this newfound feeling of content when Sabine came running into the room.

“Rex, we’re leaving! Kanan and Ezra are waiting in the Phantom!”

“Be right there,” he called out. Sabine left without even noticing you were there.

Rex gently shook you off his hand and flipped it over, allowing you to situate yourself in his palm. “You want me to bring you back to Hera?”

You thought for a moment. “Why don’t I tag along with you this time? Someone needs to keep the Phantom warm while you’re away.”

Rex didn’t say anything, but found himself grinning as he stood up, grabbed his helmet and made his way to the shuttle. This was a good start.

[murder-raven13]

My Haikyuu Ships pt. 3

A/N: Part 3 because I am a hoe that procrastinates

Warning(s): cursing, not proofread, this has again become kind of relationship hcs, loooooooooooooooooooog, I added another ship because my memory sucks

Word Count: 3,401

Part 1 Part 2

Tanaka x Ennoshita

So, Ennoshita is calm and collected but also very insecure. Doesn’t trust in his own skill or ability to lead nor the relationships he’s built with the team. Tanaka, on the other hand, is loud and confident and dedicated. He also refuses to let people talk bad about themselves or let other people talk bad about the people he cares about. This really helps with Ennoshita’s insecurity because Tanaka is brutally honest and Ennoshita knows that, so he believes Tanaka. And Ennoshita can keep Tanaka in line and on track. Tanaka is the type that’s only truly dedicated to the things he cares about, so other things tend to fall behind. School is one of the things that gets left behind. But Ennoshita is there to keep Tanaka on track, making sure that he’s doing what he has to to ensure that he can continue participating in his passions. They’re both really good together, covering the other’s weaknesses with ease and letting themselves lean on the other when they need it. Very sweet boys with a very soft, fun relationship. 

Yachi x Kiyoko

Okay, Kiyoko is a bit of an outsider and she’s not good at expressing herself. But she is sure of herself. She knows her capabilities and has confidence in her looks and, after a while, in her relationships with those close to her. But she’s never had a relationship with a female that she’s been sure of. Then Yachi comes along, basically worshipping the ground Kiyoko walks on, and completely anxious about literally everything. Yachi is a big ball of stress and love, and she turns to Kiyoko first, for everything. She believes in Kiyoko, knows that Kiyoko will always fit with her, doesn’t mind that Kiyoko has flaws because Kiyoko is perfect to Yachi. And Kiyoko helps Yachi build her confidence. They’re a very domestic couple, I feel. The kind that would be able to just sit in silence while they did their homework or just watch TV together every night. Kiyoko makes sure that Yachi doesn’t overwork or overstress herself by giving her massages and calming baths. Yachi makes sure that Kiyoko is happy and sure of their relationship, completely free with her emotions and her words whenever they’re together, by ensuring that Kiyoko knows Yachi is there, always, the peaceful shadow in Kiyoko’s life. They’re just neat together. 

Yachi x Ushijima

Ushijima is a very simple man and very devoted man. His partner’s needs and feelings are a priority to him, even though he may struggle to pick up on body language. He’s big and strong, but very gentle, astoundingly so for someone so brutal on the court. Yachi is pretty much the opposite. She’s tiny and unsure and anxious. And Ushijima terrifies her at first. He’s giant and strong and stoic. This boy does not look welcoming, especially to someone as tiny and panicky as Yachi. So, it takes a while. Ushijima doesn’t think much of her at first because she doesn’t seem like much but he sees her struggling with a near panic attack after she gets separated from the team one day and he just really can’t stop himself from wanting to protect this tiny human. He becomes a kind of balm, a protector that makes Yachi feel safe because, no matter how scary the world it, Ushijima is there to keep the brunt of it away. And Yachi serves as a constant reminder of Ushijima’s strength, a reminder that he’s needed, loved, for all the qualities about himself that he’s spent his entire life strengthening. 

Atsumu x Hinata

Can I just say disaster? [that’s gonna describe quite of few of the remaining ships tbh] They’re a disaster but, like, a good disaster. Atsumu and Hinata have the same zeal for volleyball and Atsumu fell in the love the first time they played a game against each other. Hinata took a little longer to fall. Together, though, they’re good. They have a place to channel all their chaotic energy. They mess with each other a lot, perpetual state of war via prank. Sometimes, much to the chagrin of those that know them, they keep score of who can prank the most other people. But most of the times it’s kept between themselves. This is a very fun couple. The kind that goes on spontaneous beach trips at 2 in the morning and plays until they can’t physically move. So in love with each other they sometimes forget other people exist. They’re both absolutely blinding, all radiance and sunshine, burning with so much passion that other’s have struggled all their lives to deal with them. They get lost in each other, reverent and worshipping and all to pleasantly blinded by the other.

Atsumu x Sakusa

Sakusa is mean, a meanie. He’s so mean to Atsumu. Most of Atsumu’s time is spent just pouting at Sakusa until Sakusa has to desperately try and hide the blush on his face. That pout is his favorite of Atsumu’s expressions and Atsumu has a lot of them. Sakusa hates being the in public eye but that’s unavoidable with his career. But Atsumu, glorious, blinding Atsumu is there to keep the crowds and the germs and all of it focused on him. He keeps the world away from Sakusa when Sakusa can’t deal with it. He’s always, always making sure Sakusa is comfortable and clean and happy. And Sakusa is the motivation Atsumu needs to truly take care of himself. Atsumu gets so focused on volleyball and being the best that he forgets some things, like resting and self-care and showering, all things that Sakusa is religious about. They make such a good couple because Sakusa needs Atsumu to be the light and Atsumu needs Sakusa to be his guiding hand. 

Osamu x Suna

Chill babies. Osamu and Suna are both so chill, or at least they both seem that way. Osamu’s chill is kind of fake. It’s not that he’s not chill, it’s just that he’s surrounded by things that push his chill into a little corner and beat it up. And by “things” I mean Atsumu. Osamu loves his twin, no doubt, but his twin is also the most exhausting person alive a majority of the time. They’re constantly in competition. They have the same face and yet Osamu is constantly preferred less by fans besides the fact that he swore he would be more likable than Atsumu because he didn’t want to be alone like Atsumu. So, the team and those that know Atsumu all prefer Osamu, but everyone else doesn’t. In comes Suna, who captures everything on his phone, and I mean everything. Every fight, every argument, every moment, everything. This lets Osamu look back at how he and Atsumu interact and realize how tired he is of it all. And Suna is more than willing to just lay there, doing nothing, when Osamu needs somewhere quiet to be. Suna is Osamu’s refuge from Atsumu, whose passion and attitude make him too much sometimes. And Osamu lets Suna chill. He doesn’t expect emotion or passion or anything chaotic from Suna, he just wants Suna to be Suna, a lazy little shit that likes to cause trouble whenever it’s easy to do so. Osamu, to Suna, is a partner, someone that knows him and accepts his limits, respects how he is a person. 

Osamu x Hinata

Okay, Hinata is really just like a nicer, more likable version of Atsumu’s energy. Osamu would be one of very few able to keep up with Hinata’s energy in a relationship without getting swallowed up in it. Osamu would be so supportive of Hinata’s volleyball career, would undoubtedly practice when Hinata begged him. He doesn’t mind, he misses the game. But Hinata never tries to pull him back into volleyball, he understands what Osamu is passionate about and supports the fuck out of it. Loves Osamu’s food, constantly bragging about it. Osamu can go nowhere with Hinata without turning bright red at some point. Also constantly bringing people to Osamu’s restaurant. The team won a game? Onigiri Miya. Someone got engaged? Onigiri Miya. Man has no shame. And Hinata’s so cute and famous that this really does bring a bunch of people to the restaurant [Osamu is salty about it and so is Atsumu]. 

Ushijima x Hinata

So, I’m a whore to enemies to lovers and I’m a whore for height differences; what you gonna do about it? Nothing because nothing can be done. Hinata has similar energy to Tendou, except Hinata is much nicer than Tendou and a different kind of chaotic. Hinata is unfiltered passion and confidence. Ushijima is concentrated passion and confidence. The two of them together are constantly challenging each other because Hinata never stops striving to be the best, a trait Ushijima greatly admires. And Hinata is always so impressed with Ushijima’s skill and power and size, loves that he’s found another volleyball idiot to be with. Hinata drags Ushijima into life experiences and Ushijima brings Hinata home whenever he’s drifting too far. They’re a very strange couple to others because their energy is so different. Definitely the couple whose house is more plant and volleyball stuff than anything else. Hinata will definitely tuck himself into Ushijima’s side until he’s almost completely hidden, may have once gotten into Ushijima’s hoodie with him, because he’s a little shit and Ushijima cannot say no to him [and he doesn’t really mind have Hinata so close].

Yachi x Oikawa

Oikawa is used to girls fawning over him. But Yachi is too shy to do so. Literally will not admit she finds him pretty. She just kind of ignores him, which pisses Oikawa off because this small, adorable girl won’t even spare him a glance and that’s never fucking happened before. Honestly starts pursuing Yachi because she didn’t seem interested at first. The first time she calls him pretty, he blushes, which was not a reaction he was expecting from himself. Realized he liked this cute ball of nerves more than he was originally supposed to. Yachi helps Oikawa realize he doesn’t need to be fake all the time, that not everyone has to life him, because he has the people who matter. And Oikawa helps Yachi become more confident, more sure of herself, more comfortable with defending her ground [she has to in order to deal with his damn fangirls]. Oikawa is a clingy ass person, but he understands that that makes Yachi a little uncomfortable in public, so he cuts back on the PDA, until there is a guy talking to Yachi, then he’s all hands on deck. Will definitely save Yachi from stressful situations. Loves that Yachi brings him lunch every day. 

Suga x Ushijima

Suga hates him at first. It’s so funny. Because Ushijima is just captivated because Suga is pretty and kind and caring and so observant, if not the greatest setter. He’s got a bond of trust with his teammates that Ushijima admires a lot. And Suga is willing to do whatever it takes to win, even if that means he has to step into the background. But Suga hates him because he thinks Ushijima is perfect. It’s not true hate, just irritation. But it’s enough to keep Suga away. And then Suga starts realizing all the ways Ushijima is far from perfect. He’s stoic and bad at talking and communicating and all together a disaster at social interaction because he’s so brutally honest without thought. And Suga starts to like him, how could he not. This man is a mess and handsome and Suga’s a little whipped. It’s Tendou that gets them together because Tendou notices that Suga’s feelings have changed and knows that Ushijima’s crush has not. So, he sticks them together and, true to character, Ushijima confesses without much thought [despite the fact that he blushes]. Together, they’re a very mature couple and I do not mean that Suga gets any less meddlesome. I just mean that they’re relationship is very domestic, very stable. Their relationship is a constant, a comfort, something to always come home to. And Suga has his school students and Ushijima has his volleyball career and then they have each other. Works very well. 

Bokuto x Hinata

Bright disaster bois. Can I just say good luck to their friends. These two are constantly feeding off each other’s energy. Hinata hypes Bokuto up and Bokuto pulls Hinata forward. All the time, constant movement with these two. They’re almost never home. Either at the gym practicing, out getting ice cream, at an amusement part, or trying to get themselves lost. They’re impossible to keep up with, but so fun to watch. They’re such a happy couple, always smiling, always laughing, always with a new story to tell. Little explorers. But always together. People can see it, too, how utterly bright the two of them get together. It’s actually ridiculous, Kageyama hates them [he thinks they’re cute but he would literally rather die than admit it]. 

Tanaka x Yamamoto

Chaos personified in a relationship. They’re both threatening appearance wise so whenever they go out together, they’re absolutely avoided by everyone. But they’re so nice all the time. Constantly giving out compliments, definitely the couple that will talk about attractive people they see on the street together. Also definitely the couple that is constantly hyping each other up, in everything they do, even like brushing their teeth. They’re stupid. Always having fun together. 

Matsukawa x Hanamaki

These two both have resting facial expressions that aren’t actually indicative of what they’re feeling. This, on top of their personalities, means that these two are the ultimate pranksters. They can keep a poker face like nobody’s business. Absolutely impossible to read. And, unlike some of the other prankster couples, these two do not prank each other often. No, no, no. They team up on other people. Like demons. No one is safe. If you are around, you are a potential target. And they love it. It makes them laugh and its something they can unfailingly do with the other. It’s a bonding thing for them, would definitely make pranking people a date. Other than that, though, they play a lot of video games together. Plus, the lack of emotional expression of the other’s face has never thrown either of them off because they rely on body language and other cues because they themselves understand that the face isn’t always reliable. Very understanding and super in tune with each other. 

Aran x Kita

So, y’all remember when Aran got onto Kita for questioning if it was okay or normal for him to feel happy? That was the Moment. Aran lives in Japan, but he is black and his name is foreign. Because of this, he’s been an oddity his entire life. That doesn’t mean that people don’t like him or that they make fun of him for it, in fact, plenty of people react like the Miya twins. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an oddity and that people react to it. Kita is also an oddity, not because of his name or his ethnicity, but because of his personality. He doesn’t act like a child and is super dedicated to a strict routine that includes keeping everything religiously clean. Not a lot of kids are like that. And Kita himself has said that he thinks more like an adult than a child, he’s aware of the fact that he’s not like his peers. This helps connect the two of them. They don’t react to each other for what makes them odd, they’re simply friends. Kita has never thought much of Aran’s name or the fact that he’s black and Aran doesn’t mind that Kita doesn’t exactly act like a child. They trust each other, they rely on each other. And they found their common ground at first in the fact that they’re both different in some way.  

Takeda x Ukai

I have shipped these two from the very first conversation I saw them have. Ukai was irritated by Takeda, but admired and acknowledged his unwavering persistence. And Takeda went full creep and learned everything he could about Ukai so that he could manipulate him into coaching the team. Like, this meanie does not give up. And Ukai both hates and loves this trait. Because this adorable teacher should not be able to make people bend to his will like this, dammit. And Takeda is adorable, Ukai knows [he pretends he doesn’t]. Takeda knows that Ukai is a big softie despite his appearance, that he cares a lot more than he lets on, and that he is, legit, a concerned parent half the time [what other kind of person gets onto children all the time to make sure they’re eating properly?]. He also knows that Ukai is smart and dedicated and cares a great deal about his family. So, once Takeda had his sights set on Ukai as a partner, Ukai really couldn’t [and didn’t want to] say no. They become Parents, no questions asked, but not like real parents, like the uncles the kids are always left with. [Ukai thinks he’s smooth-he is not, Takeda finds this adorable and won’t say anything about it].

Tsukishima x Yamaguchi

The only reason this ship made it to the third part is because I wanted a childhood friends to lovers in every part. It really is law. Please, Tsukki is such a grumpy baby and Yamaguchi is such a stressed out puppy. Tsukki is soft for this man and this man alone. Literally cannot actually be mean to him. Yamaguchi knows it to [whenever Tsukki tells him to shut up, Yamaguchi knows that it’s for one of two reasons: Tsukki is flustered or Yamaguchi is doing something Tsukki finds cute and is flustered]. Yamaguchi is a walking protector, will snap at people for attacking Tsukki even if he himself is terrified. And Tsukki has unwavering confidence in Yamaguchi’s abilities. They know each other. Yamaguchi knows that Tsukki is a big softies, that he’s insecure sometimes, that he loves anything strawberry flavored and anything to do with dinosaurs. He knows and he loves Tsukki for it all. And Tsukki knows that Yamaguchi is insecure and quiet and doubtful, but he also knows that Yamaguchi is dedicated and kind and everything he never thought he would find in another person. Yamaguchi is where Tsukki goes to feel safe being himself. And Tsukki is where Yamaguchi goes to feel secure. They’re safe together. 

Nishinoya x Yaku

Honestly, they’re both gremlin smols and I love them. They constantly learn from each other and push each other to be their best. Yaku is a team mom and Noya is team problem child. So, they work pretty well together. Noya gets Yaku to loosen up a bit and Yaku gets Noya to calm the fuck down. Noya lowkey makes him nervous sometimes but thats because Yaku is scared of his own feelings. Like, how can he like this wild mess so much? Please explain it to him, he would like to know. But he does love Noya, a whole damn lot, and he’s not doing anything to change it. 

Kyotani x Yahaba

I cannot believe I forgot to add their part. I’m mad at myself. Kyotani is a big scared asshole. He doesn’t want to let people close to him, he wants to be the best, and he definitely doesn’t want others to know enough about him to see him as anything but strong. So, being vulnerable isn’t his strong suit and he doesn’t let people in. His respect is hard earned, his affection even more so. But Yahaba is a pretty boy with a very strong center. He refuses to take any shit from any one. But he doesn’t act that way unless he needs to. And Kyotani needs him to act like that. And once he does, it gets much harder for Kyotani to believe that Yahaba is just a pretty boy. Yahaba can and will put Kyotani in his place. And Kyotani is constantly pushing Yahaba’s buttons, forcing him to reveal bit by bit how strong is personality actually is, how much he wants to be the best as well. Best bois. Mad dog and mad dog trainer. I love them. Probably my favorite Haikyuu ship, out of the 50 million I have.  

This is the last part, yay!!!

I have too many ships, some pls help me.

This post legit won’t save half of the tags. I’ve typed them twice and it won’t keep them on the damn post. So, I had to go with just one or two tags for each to make sure each ship was in the tags. 

[loruleanheart]

Desired Fate, Chapter 13

Read on ff.net

Read on AO3

One step closer to Hyrule Castle and one second closer to the Calamity…

And Zelda was no closer to awakening her power than when she began all those years ago.

Zelda cast a side-glance at Astor, who walked beside her. He was being very quiet, almost mirroring her dour mood. What was he thinking? He looked completely absorbed in his own headspace. She wondered what sort of inner demons he must have been fighting. He must have been under a great deal of pressure just as she was. What was it like to serve an ancient evil and be expected to be the perfect instrument to bring about its revival? Not to mention trying to turn away from such a destiny.

He’s changing... I was somehow able to persuade him, and now maybe he could be the key in turning back Calamity Ganon since it seems I won’t be able to… What if I’m being too optimistic? Believing he could change... Or that I had anything to do with it… He’ll always see me as the pathetic royal girl that can’t wield her power. He’ll never see me as anything more. He’ll never love me… Or anyone for that matter... Possibly why he turned to Ganon in the first place... Not that any of us are going to live long enough to worry about that, and it will be my fault...

Astor looked down to Zelda, who seemed as though she were about to break into tears again at any moment.

“I must envision a life after the Calamity, I must...” Zelda said aloud and to herself.

Hylia’s prophecy echoed in Astor’s mind. He wondered if those words could set Zelda’s mind at ease. If so, it seemed almost cruel not to tell her. But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud. What if Zelda shut down the same way he had when Hylia had told him? For all he knew Hylia had noticed his weakness and had come up with a lie to tempt him, Ganon’s chosen, exploiting his weakness to gain the advantage in the war against her greatest enemy. There was no way the goddess herself had ordained THAT for the girl that bore her namesake and her blood. 

Yet, Zelda had been unreasonably kind to him. She had ordered her knight to spare him, even after he tried to kill her. She had gone above and beyond in reasoning and pleading with him. There was the way she looked at him, spoke to him. She made him feel desired. But how could that be? Astor briefly wondered if this was Hylia’s doing as well, as far-fetched an idea as it was, but Astor was running out of explanations for Zelda’s behavior towards him. Weren’t the royal daughters supposed to be able to hear the voice of the goddess?

“Zelda…” Astor paused, trying to get used to using her given name. “Does the goddess ever speak to you?”

“No… Not really… I’ve had these dreams though... but I can never quite hear her words.”

This answer satisfied him. Zelda seemed to be unaware of anything Hylia had planned. Her actions and words towards him were genuine.

“There’s something I can’t quite wrap my mind around... Why aren’t you afraid of me? Why don’t you hate me or find me repugnant? For all that I am, and all that I’ve done… Anyone else would.”

“There’s something about you… I can’t describe it.”

“I’m not worthy of whatever it is you feel for me…”

“That's not how it works… It just is…”

“But I swore myself to Calamity Ganon for so long… I am damned.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

“What about that knight? You must have feelings for him?”

“You mean Link? Why do you say that?”

Astor braced himself for what he would say next, but he knew it couldn’t go unsaid if he wanted to show any kind of true compassion towards Zelda.

“You’re fated to unlock your power because of him. It was a vision given to me by my harbinger.”

Zelda stopped in her tracks. It was a lot to take in. “So I haven’t failed after all? It’s really going to happen? Why would you tell me that?”

“I guess to redeem myself a bit, though what I’ve done up until now is unforgivable... I want to help you because you spared my life and helped me to see the truth about Calamity Ganon, and you seemed like you needed to hear it.”

“That’s surprisingly kind of you… But I don’t know if I believe it… I’ve already had my hopes raised and dashed so many times.” Zelda paused for a long moment. “But if an individual could be the thing to bring out my power, I... I want it to be you.”

“I can’t be that person for you…Fate has already decreed it…” He said in a soft, sullen way.

They walked in silence a bit longer.

Astor thought of the Harbinger. Its absence didn’t bode well. It was likely aware of what its seer was up to and it certainly wouldn't let such grievous disloyalty go unpunished.

Astor’s eyes darted around his surroundings. Astor had never been afraid of his Harbinger before, but now he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was capable of doing something really horrible to him.

After some time, they reached a high cliff overlooking Kakariko Village.  She had passed through the village on her way to Mount Lanayru in the early morning hours before anyone would be awake to see her, now the village was bustling.

Astor hadn’t set foot in a village in ages, and as soon as they started to cross paths with other people, Astor remembered why. The Sheikah Villagers were giving them odd looks, and of course they would. This village was pretty closed off from the rest of Hyrule. It was rare for them to see non-Sheikah.

A couple of small children darted past them, laughing, barely acknowledging their presence or personal space as children often did.

A Sheikah woman standing outside of a garment shop smiled at them, trying to wave them down. “Pretty clothes for your girlfriend?” The woman said sweetly.

Astor gave an exasperated, flustered moan, drawing his hood further down his brow.

“No, not today, but thank you,” Zelda responded kindly to the Sheikah shopkeep, beaming and radiating a sense of joy even for a moment. Her smile was like the sun, and any doubts Astor had dried up and disappeared. She loved him, and nothing seemed to be able to sway her. Hylia’s prophecy was one step closer to being realized.

I could tell her the prophecy, and she might just die of happiness…. Astor thought darkly. Loving her. Loathing her. He still couldn’t shake his aversion of Zelda realizing her power. It was too deeply ingrained. Although now he suspected that it was out of jealousy for the knight. And then there was Hylia’s prophecy which filled him with a feeling that had been foreign to him until lately. It was a feeling that both disgusted and thrilled him. But he couldn’t summon the words to tell her. Saying them would breathe them into existence even more so.

They passed houses and other shops, including an inn. Other Sheikah villagers were taking notice of them. 

“Isn’t that Princess Zelda?” one of the Sheikah villagers whispered loudly to another.

Astor walked faster, eager to clear the village. Zelda walked a little faster, too, despite that her legs felt heavy from covering so many miles. 

They made their way through a wide-open valley known as Sahasra Slope, which boasted a magnificent view of Hyrule Castle.

“Father is going to be so cross with me…”

Astor looked at Zelda strangely. She kept bringing up her father. It was almost like she was afraid of him. More afraid of her own father than she was of him… which really said something. Astor knew just enough about the royal family to make some assumptions.

“Does he believe the same as the people in your court?”

Zelda flinched. “Oh… You know about that…? It feels that way sometimes.”

“I don’t understand. You’re the one with the blood of the goddess. Shouldn’t he be worshiping the ground you walk on?”

“Well… He doesn’t see it that way. Tough love, I suppose…”

“What does he have to be angry about? Aside from you breaking custom to go to the Spring of Wisdom? Not a reason to be angry, if you ask me. This is a war, after all. You’re just doing what you must to have the potential to be victorious.”

Zelda looked at Astor with surprise. “You really believe that?”

“I’m… I was... Ganon’s chosen… I’m not ignorant or blind, although I suppose it would be accurate to say that Ganon kept me blind for so long. It’s important to understand your enemy. Your father is a fool. Trust me on this.”

“Hmm…” Zelda hummed. “What about your parents? What were they like?”

“I never knew them… I grew up in an orphanage in Deya Village.”

“Oh… I’m sorry… Now I feel silly for complaining.”

“It's fine. It stopped bothering me years ago and it’s beyond irrelevant now.”

They crossed the Rebonae bridge, on the last leg of their journey, and passed through a vast apple orchard, slightly off from Zelda’s original course.

The sky grew a vibrant orange as they entered Hyrule Castle Town. Zelda gave an audible exhale. “… Almost home…” She knew she had to prepare herself for anything now. 

Astor jolted when Zelda took hold of his hand. She was barely aware of how tightly she held onto him. But he felt her… or rather a time in the future where she would squeeze his hand with such intensity, to the point of pain. Her ragged breath was in his ear, as she braced herself against him. A wave of intense emotion washed over him and he...

...ripped his hand away,  Zelda looking at him puzzled and a little hurt.

“Whenever you touch me… I see and feel things.”

“Oh… Do these things displease you?” That wounded expression lingered on her face.

“I… I suppose it doesn’t…” He said, offering his hand to her. The vision didn’t continue, but it still left him stunned and strangely longing for more.

The streets were almost as devoid of life as they had been the night before. No one gave them more than a cursory glance as they passed by.

They walked up the winding brick pathway that led up to the castle, and when they reached the sanctum, all four champions, Impa, and Link turned to them as they appeared in the doorway. All was eerily quiet as they came forward. Zelda’s eyes were red from crying and everyone looked with suspicion at Astor. Link placed his hand on the hilt of the Master Sword.

Urbosa and Impa ran to Zelda.

“Well if this isn’t a fine how do you do?” Said Revali in a dry tone. “We all thought the princess was in danger when in reality she was just off on some tryst. The Calamity is about to occur at any moment, and we’re all miles away from our Divine Beasts with our fingers in our tailfeathers...”

“Oh, Revali. Go suck an egg. This is NOT the time.” Urbosa chastised the rito, and then she turned to Zelda. “Are you alright, little bird? Where were you? And why is HE here?” Urbosa looked at Astor with great dismay and distrust.

“Urbosa, remember when you said you would always support me and to just say the word? This is it... I need your support now more than ever.”

Urbosa considered this, her azure blue lips parting slightly, although at a loss for words.

“Tell me what's going on? I’m all ears.”

“Alright, now that Zelda is safe and sound, can we get back to our Divine Beasts and forget this whole asinine situation.” Revali interrupted again.

Astor spoke up. “That’s exactly where Calamity Ganon wants you when he returns. Ganon’s blights are set to take over the Divine beasts and kill their pilots.

Everyone turned to Astor with a look of disbelief. Mipha reached for Link’s hand for support, but stopped short, growing self-conscious.

“And why should we believe you, vile follower of the Calamity? How do we know you’re not trying to set us up? You may have convinced the Princess, but it’s going to take a lot more to gain our trust.” Urbosa responded curtly.

“Urbosa!” Zelda protested.

“Forgive me, little bird. You may have shown this man mercy, but I won’t…”

“I believe him,” said Daruk. 

Urbosa turned to Daruk. “You’re kidding right?”

“I mean, he sounds sincere enough to me.”

Mipha quickly assessed the energy between Princess Zelda and Astor and intervened, speaking. “I believe him as well… Or rather I believe Princess Zelda. Let’s give him a chance before we jump to rash conclusions.”

Urbosa turned her ire back to Astor. “What are you trying to pull?”

“I’m not trying to pull anything. You can take my warning or leave it, for all I care. I just wanted to spare Zelda the heartache of losing her champions.”

Urbosa folded her arms. “I swear if you hurt her I’m going to cut you up piece by piece and feed you to the Molduga. She is precious to me and I must do right by my dear friend, Zelda’s late mother… We Gerudo have our ways of dealing with voe who take advantage of one of our vai, especially when said voe is a member of the Yiga… or an affiliate.”

“Do I make myself clear, Prophet?”

“Crystal…”

King Rhoam appeared on the balcony, alerted by the commotion of the Champions.

“What is the meaning of this…. Zelda? You’ve returned? What were you thinking, running… quite literally running from your duty when the Calamity is nearly at hand?” There was much derision in his voice.

“I did no such thing. I would never.” Zelda’s voice wavered. She wasn’t surprised her father would make this accusation, but it still hurt terribly.

“Then. where. were. you?” Rhoam said evenly, and in a way that shook Zelda to the core.

“I went to the Spring of Wisdom… In a bid to unlock my power. I’ve failed. I’m sorry. I didn’t feel anything. Just like all my other attempts.”

King Rhoam shut his eyes. “That was not your decision to make. You know it is forbidden for you to set foot on Mount Lanayru until you are of age. For all you know your disobedience  may have cost all of Hyrule!”

Zelda began to break down. “But…”

“No more excuses, Zelda! You are to spend the rest of the night in prayer, asking the goddess for forgiveness and discernment, and so help me, you WILL unlock your power.”

Zelda clenched her fist. “No, I won’t! I’m not a child anymore. Please stop ordering me around like one. We must prepare to oppose the Calamity in whatever way we can, and I won’t waste another second praying for this cursed power to awaken!”

“Zelda, you are out of line, and I will not tolerate another word from you!” Rhoam raised his voice, almost shouting. “There is no excuse for this behavior. As long as I am King, you will obey me. Your mother would be very disappointed in you, Zelda. What a waste…”

 “You should watch your tongue, old man… How could you speak thus of the one who carries the blood of the goddess? Perhaps it is you who should beg forgiveness.” 

Everyone went deadly silent as they directed their attention to Astor.

Rhoam glared at the younger man, indignantly, taken aback by his words. He felt a deep sense of suspicion just from the look of him. There was a darkness about the young man that gave Rhoam a great sense of disquiet. “You… You must be the prophet I’ve heard about. What role do you play in all this? And who are you to tell me how to speak to my daughter? You know nothing of the responsibilities I have to my kingdom or of the pressures of raising a daughter of the royal family.”

Astor was about to protest when something violently rocked the very foundation of the castle. Everyone braced themselves, gasping.

Zelda’s eyes widened, horror in her expression. “It cannot be…” Zelda raced outside, already knowing what she would see. Everyone followed her out.

She looked up and sure enough, the worst had come to pass, and it was beyond her worst nightmare. Circling and raging around the highest spire was a purple-red miasma. It was just like the image on the Sheikah Slate, except now Zelda could make out that it resembled a great swine. There was a clap of thunder, and embers of malice floated down all around them.

“Ganon…” Zelda stared up at the being in terrible fear as 100,000 wretched screams of despair rang out across Hyrule.

[cherishedkids]

waiting || tokito muichiro x reader

anime: kimetsu no yaiba  warning/s: sad, spoilers from the manga, character deaths, description of gore words: 1,349 pairing/s: tokito muichiro x reader request: “ hiiii may i request angst with fluffy ending for muichiro x reader who was also a demon slayer but died a few days/weeks earlier than him??? then both of them are reincarnated in the present and they became a couple again 👉👈 “ - anon

A/N: sorry for the wait!! ive been trying to get back into my groove,,, there arent much muichiro gifs so i hope u dont mind if i reuse them??? plz enjoy anon!! 💕💕

--

Blood.

There was nothing else that Muichiro saw except for the red liquid. The anger that resided within him was far worse, burning up everything and everyone in his path. He was covered in it, not sure if it was his or if it belonged to the demon in front of him. But it made no difference. By the end of this battle, the both of them were going to die.

He looked at Kokushibo in the eyes. Although his arm and leg was gone, Muichiro did not feel weakened by the pain. In fact, he reveled in it. It was the only thing keeping him awake, aside from his sheer willpower. Any moment, he would die of blood loss, but it was a fate he was not afraid to face. He was willing to sacrifice himself, for the sake of the corps, and for his fleeting dream of seeing you again.

His sword was already deep inside the demon, and all he waited was for the killing shot by one of his comrades. He was already feeling weakened and his head was spinning. It was fine. He was going to see you soon.

The hard ground below him did nothing to cushion him after the demon was defeated. He laid still on the ground, as his allies gathered around him, but he knew what would happen. He didn’t want to escape it. Death was always an option. It was one you chose, and it was one that he would be chasing now.

You stared at death in the face, but it attached itself to you, not wanting to let go. He swore revenge, and he did. The strongest demon, next to Muzan, was dead. His ancestor was defeated. You could rest easy now.

Tanjiro’s face was in front of him. The older boy’s eyes, full of concern and worry.

“Muichiro, hold on--”

He coughed, and the both of them knew this was his last hour. “There’s no need, Tanjiro, I…”

In the blinding light, all he could see was you. You beckoned for him to come forward, and he rushed forwards, refusing to waste a single moment.

“I’m coming for you, ___.”

Those were the last words of Tokito Muichiro, relayed by Tanjiro to the others. He recalled tears coming out of his eyes, as he tried to reach out for someone, his only hand shaking, as his life slowly dimmed. 

-

Soft hands touched his cheek, thumb rubbing circles. When he opened his eyes, he saw curious but familiar ones staring back at him. You smiled at him, one that he dearly missed. His head was on your lap, and you sat on the ground. There was nothing else around, only darkness. But you were all that he needed.

“___,” He whispered out, and the name coming out of his lips almost felt strange. It had been a long time since he last uttered it, but he repeated it multiple times. “___, ___, ___!”

You just nodded with him, and he got up from his position. He sat directly in front of you, and he cupped your cheeks with his hands.

“It really is you,”

Your hand came up to wrap around his. “Of course, it’ll always be me, Muichiro,”

Tears came out of your eyes, and he wiped them away. “Don’t cry,”

But you laughed at that, as you seemed like you were looking at a mirror. He himself was crying! “Look at yourself first,”

He embraced you, pressing you against his chest, seemingly never wanting to let go. “When we get reincarnated, I’ll find you,”

“I know,”

“I’ll make you happy and spend all my time with you,”

“I know,”

“We’ll be together forever, away from all this… bloodshed,”

“I know,” All you could do was reply with the same two words, as you were afraid that if you spoke anymore, your voice would crack. You didn’t want to cry anymore, so you did your best trying to cherish this moment. 

“Wait for me,” He whispered out, as a bright light enveloped the both of you.

--

Muichiro sighed for the umpteenth time today. His brother, Yuichiro, had forgotten to bring their lunch boxes, so he was forced to walk all the way to the cafeteria today. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, fidgeting with the coins he had. He could buy a few rice balls, or a burger, but neither of those appealed to him. 

“Man, what a pain,” He muttered to no one in particular, and turned a corner. It was almost deserted, save for a few people conversing with each other. Yuichiro had already gone ahead to the canteen with their group of friends, as he was asleep in the middle of the class. He grumbled, thinking why his brother didn’t think of waking him up for lunch.

It would be alright with him, but he shuddered at the thought of wrestling in line just for mediocre food. It was nothing compared to the cooking of his own mother, and there was no doubt in his mind that he would be in a bad mood today.

He came to a halt, as someone passed him by,  their shampoo leaving a pleasant scent behind. He wasn’t really sure when he saw this person, perhaps in a dream? But their face was one that he was mesmerized by. Judging from their uniform, he was in the same batch as he was, but he hadn’t noticed them before.

His eyes lingered on them, as their figure walked downstairs, never noticing him. Something inside him wanted to meet this person. His objective forgotten, he raced to talk to this person. He would never approach a complete stranger like this, but there was something about them that just reminded him of home. 

Was this love at first sight? His chest was weak, and his breath was becoming unstable. It sure didn’t feel like love. He didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling, but it did feel like he had just found something that used to be lost to time. Like he was honoring something his ancestor had entrusted to him. God, he sounded like a lunatic.

He had finally caught up to this mysterious person, and with bated breath, he asked. “Excuse me, can I get your name?”

When your eyes met him as you turned around, he swore he could feel his heart skip a beat. All that they said about feeling love was true. A hundred butterflies swarmed around in his stomach, his heart was beating like crazy, and his face was getting warmer by the second. It was all because of a single person.

“Oh, it’s ___… why?” You said, and he repeated the name in his mind. Familiarity surged through his body.

“Would you like to get lunch with me?” He put everything on this one question. He wasn’t thinking about being rejected--in fact, he wasn’t even sure if he was thinking. His focus was only on you.

You blushed, and you nodded, letting him lead the way. Under normal circumstances, you never would have agreed to a stranger asking you to lunch, but the second your eyes landed on him, it suddenly felt like everything was going to be alright. For some reason, in his presence, you felt at ease, and that you could trust him right then and there.

“May I also get your name?” You asked, waiting for his answer.

“My name’s Muichiro.”

It was a story you often told to your friends, and your children, if they were willing. There was familiarity in both of your eyes, and you just hit it off right away. Muichiro would half-heartedly dismiss it, saying that he was the one who saw you first, and you just followed along, but the both knew there was something deeper to it.

There was no question about it, it was a love that hoped for a better future. One with no deaths and only happiness before it. It was a hope that wished for better days. A hope that the both of you kept alive.

[skzluvs]

Phobia; Han jisung

Genre: angst, fluff (if you squint)

Warnings: mention of nightmares

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: Hi! I’m back from my hiatus with another angst fic inspired by the drama it’s okay to not be okay combined with a little bit of phobia I hope you guys like it!

The girl who fed on nightmares

there was a girl who woke up every night by the nightmares, demons that haunted her dreams. She was twisted inside, held back by the painful memories of her past.

panting breath, irregular heartbeat, a cold sweat dripping from her forehand. she opened her eyes to meet with the darkness of her room. Terror washed over her. frightened.

"it's just another nightmare" she said trying to calm down the thoughts that were messing up her already deranged head.

a familiar setup, you might think she grew accustomed to the feeling after the third night but that's was not true the lingering feeling of numbness grew by the time she realized there was no escape from the chains that still cuffed her up.

the morning came earlier, with very few hours of sleep, she got up and got ready for work. the days turned into a monotone.

she arrived to bookstore, pure silence made her mind feel content. A moment of peace in the torrential rain.

"excuse me" a soft voice called her, almost as quiet as a whisper that's being shared between lovers.

she looked up to meet with a boy, with black hair and a mischievous smile, he looked cheerful with an undeniable strong aura that surrounded his slender figure, definitely not the type you would see in a library at 8am in the morning.

"yes" she replied politely to the boy who carried a handful on books on his arms.

"i want to check all of these out please" he placed the books on the counter.

As she took a look at the pile, she got intrigued by the peculiar selection.

children books.

but not the kind that you read to a child unless you want them to have nightmares, and she knew damn well about that.

"you like this gruesome stuff ?" she was never the kind to question other people's interests but for some strange motive she wanted to know.

" it's a children's book how can you call this masterpiece gruesome" the boy seemed rather offended by her words.

" the pictures make me want to cry my eyes out and I'm an adult, there's no way this book was targeted for such audience" she said

" it seems like you know nothing about this books not the author , therefore I won't be engaging in a discussion, you can continue to be ignorant later just let me borrow them so I can go" he said annoyed, taping with his finger on top of the dusty cover.

The girl refused to give out response and rather continued to do her job. she sure didn't get paid enough for that.

"here" she said handing him the books along with the returning slip. "you have 2 weeks to return them unless you want more time come before the deadline to extend the borrowing period"

"thank you" he left not sparing to look at her for the last time before exiting through the door.

the browned eyed boy who just happened to be named han jisung, she found out his name through his library card. Was all she could think about, not because she was interested, but because of the of his actions. Usually she evaded social situations, she found people not worth of her time, but there was something about that boy that made her wanted to crush him like a fragile butterfly with broken wings.

another meaningless night, it was tiring to get emptied out like that. Every time she closed her fears shaped into a reality. she was stuck with the phobia.

days passed by, a body that walks through the streets without a soul. There was nothing she wanted nothing she desired more but to fall asleep. So she lived her life longing for that moment.

going through the bookshelves placing them correctly by alphabetical order. A pair of eyes stuck to the back of her head.

a boy who watched her carefully from the other side of the room, and he probably thought he was being precautious, but she knew she was being observed.

Jisung. Who came everyday just to sit as far back from the main entrance as possible, hiding in a corner reading the books he so much loved. After the first encounter with the girl he could no longer sleep the same way. His thoughts circled around her small frame and the sound of her broken voice.

there was this thing about her, he called it despondency and he was drowned right into it. like the tales had taken over a human form.

by the end of the two weeks he stood there fidgeting, over the course of the last couple of days his little instigating got him nowhere. She repeated a daily routine, there was nothing to analyze in her vague movements and worn out expressions. However he knew she hides more than the human eye can perceive behind that weary facade.

The moment she clocked out he followed her outside.

"why are you following me" the girl stopped her tracks and made a spin over her ankles, just to meet with him.

"I needed to ask you something" He said rather shy. all the courage he build up over the weeks disappearing at the strong gaze that confronted him.

"I'm not obligated to respond, do me a favor and get lost" She turned around and continued to walk.

It was an expected reply exactly what made jisung decide it was better to come up with a different plan.

every day he would put a book of his collection on top of her desk hoping she would get interested enough to read it.

but instead she would just eye the cover and place it back to its shelf.

Not until one day she meet to something different, the book had a folded edge, opening the page carefully, her fingers ghosting over the words printed on the glossy paper.

"bad memories from the past that he wanted to erase from his head"

"were replayed in his dreams every night"

"and haunted him nonstop"

"the boy was terrified of falling asleep"

a creeping feeling went down her spine, and her trembling hands made the book fall. Her own monsters greeted her with a grin. Collapsing with the wooden floor.

jisung got petrified by the loud sound. He hurried his way to find the girl unconscious on the ground. it was all his fault.

a disturbing sound came from her mouth. She woke up in an oddly unfamiliar house. Her body covered by a thin blanket, the walls were closing like the screams that got caught up in her throat.

jisung who was downstairs making dinner ran through the stairs and opened the door alarmed at the high pitched noises.

"Are you okay?" He exclaimed trying to recover his breath.

"what am I doing here? where am i ?" she asked not trying to panic even more. She felt so dizzy the room kept on spinning.

"you're at my house, you passed out at the library" He said scratching the nape of his neck with guiltiness.

"I remember now, this was your deed, you and your stupid nauseating books" by the looks of it she had been gone for a while. Not to mention the longer she was in a slumber the longer the suffering.

"not my fault you got scared by a book for 5 year olds" He said shrugging, with an unprovoked expression.

"And you dared to call me an ignorant" she deadpanned.

"Do you fear anything?" He asked out of the blue.

what is the real meaning behind fear?. Fear is tangible. Is the anxiety, the desperation to run away and hide forever where they can't find you, it means to want to stab your eyes with a safety pin to blind the pain. Is the captivity of oneself.

"You're scared of yourself aren't you?" it no longer sounded like a question but more like an affirmation.

he had figured you out in no time. You couldn't let them see the vulnerable side, not to anyone and most definitely not this stranger.

"You said it yourself you know nothing so leave alone before it's too late" She threatened.

"Anyways I'm sorry for being so persistent, never intended to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll be downstairs if you need me, dinner is ready if you want to come and have something to eat before you leave" He knew it was better not to push it if he wanted answers.

But why was he so desperate to understand the world inside her head ?

Jisung felt the loneliness of her being. He came up to the conclusion that he wanted to be the person who brought the girl back to life.

After some time he grew a step closer to her, not to the point she would stop pushing him away but at least his efforts had made a very insignificant change.

She would let him read the books to her once in a while, she fed into the words, relating to every single one of them. But things were still the same at night, she would break down to the horrifying sight.

"Jisung why are you still here ?" she asked him unable to understand why the boy remained by her side even when she treated him like a piece of trash.

"Because im trapped under your spell" he confessed.

"You’re e going to end up in so much pain" she said looking into his eyes.

"You can't go to heaven before crossing the flames of hell" He responded with certainty. “ and If I have to burn I rather do it while still holding you”

"Would you still like me if you knew the kind of monster I am, not the one you read in books but the kind that hides behind a mask and transforms at night"

" I would still like you if you were the devil himself"

" The devil wont tear your soul apart like I would trust me" She knew she would drive him into despair. But she had warned him multiple times, from here she no longer take accountability, he would meet fear. She would make sure of that.

I'm stuck with the phobia although I want to stay with you I'm scared that you might disappear in between the shadows. How can I hold you when I was made to destroy you.

there was a girl whose world was a pitch black hole and her insides were dark and twisted, and a boy who fell in love with her repulsiveness swore to never leave her, but her darkness overshadowed the fugacious happiness of a spur moment and the voices in her head claimed that she was all alone. but the boy sang to her a lullaby that lulled her into a deep sleep and for the first time in forever there were no painful memories in her dreams.

She was the girl who fed on nightmares. The one he once read about and the one he was now holding on his arms.

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Minghao: Find Our Way (Part Four)

Characters: Minghao x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, fluff

Word count: 1,596

Summary: You already knew who you were meant to be with and how your life was supposed to go. The only thing keeping you and the life you were destined to lead apart was the fact you were blind. At least, for now, you could meet him in your dreams.

Tag list: @choiminjae0325​ @heolykpop​ @fullsun-donghyuck​ @yoonbabe-d​ @exuwu​ @lets-get-1t​ @vintageot5​​ @sehunnies-hunnie96​ @childfmoonn​​ @wobwobkpop​​ @henloimawierdobye​​ @dirinast​​ @hhhhwww7​​ @joshwoah​​ @wreckedbytae​​ @salty-for-suga​​ @janellxu​​ @doyouknowkpopp​ @xu-miseo​ (if you wanna be added please send an ask or a dm!!)

Unable to tag: @uglyratlmao @birthday-prinxess @sooooofrench

a/n: things in bold are in mandarin

Previous | Next | Find Our Way Masterlist

You were sitting pretty comfortably on Soonyoung’s back as you listened to the sounds of the dead leaves and twigs crunching under their feet. At first, Chan carried you, but Seokmin decided that they should take turns so nobody got tired out. So then you were with Seokmin for a little while, who pretended to be a horse at first just to make you giggle. And now, you were on the back of one of the alphas, who enjoyed chatting to you as much as you enjoyed chatting in general – what else was there for you to do?

“Won’t your neighbor miss you?” Soonyoung wondered when you mentioned the girl who took care of you. “She’ll know you’re missing.”

“No, I think she considered me a burden,” you admitted with a shrug. “She had a boyfriend she would rather be off with.”

“How much longer until we’re home?” Jooyeon wondered quietly, sticking close to whichever werewolf you were being escorted by -- you thought that was very sweet that she wanted to be close to you. You did feel a little of an attachment to her since she had put so much trust in you when she was afraid of her mate.

“A few hours,” Seungcheol replied. “Why, are you tired?”

“Sort of,” she told him, which was understandable since they’d been walking for a few hours already. “I’ll be fine.”

“I can carry--”

“I don’t want you to be even more tired,” she told him.

It was cute that she cared about Seungcheol’s well being, too. She’d definitely come a long way.

You always wanted nothing more than to help the pack you belonged to, just because you liked to help and feel useful. Knowing you helped somebody always made you feel better, but it was rare anybody ever let you help considering you couldn’t see. With the pack, though, your strange power came to good use. You had a hand in helping Jooyeon and Seungcheol become closer.

Through your dreams, you’d gotten a lot closer with Jooyeon, too. You were one of the only people able to calm her down back then. You felt very close to her despite knowing her for not nearly as long as you knew most of the pack. You spoke to her more frequently other than your mate. She was like your best friend now.

“_____?” Chan spoke up.

You hummed in reply, letting your chin rest on Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“Is your hearing as good as ours?” he wondered.

“No,” you laughed softly. “It’s better than most peoples but it’s definitely not on a supernatural level. Why?”

“Because you’re half werewolf, and you got the special werewolf gene passed down to you. …How come you get a power but a lot of werewolves don’t?”

“Actually, some werewolves don’t get their power right away. It can take years, sometimes. But it does usually come around while they’re body is younger -- between the time they actually become a werewolf and their twenties, I believe. After that mark, it is rare to get a power.”

“None of us are twenty anymore,” Jeonghan scoffed.

“No, I mean your body’s age, not your actual age.”

You heard Seokmin gasp, “There’s hope for me!”

You giggled softly at his excitement, “It’s actually not as rare to have a power as you’d think it is. I heard of a werewolf nearby that can control fire.”

“Whoa, really?” Soonyoung asked, sounding absolutely amazed. “I want to meet him.”

“There’s also rumors he has a twin brother who controls water,” you continued, recalling what you’d heard from eavesdropping on the front porch. Guards typically walked by and would chit-chat on the corner of your street. “I believe they belong to a small pack made of only special wolves, but I’ve only heard bits and pieces. Besides, nobody has ever gotten close enough to them to observe the others.”

“You know quite a lot, _____,” Jeonghan told you with amusement in his tone. “You’re a smart girl.”

You grinned proudly, happy your hearing finally came to good use – you couldn’t tell any of this information to anybody else, “Thank you!”

“The less talking there is, the faster we’ll get back,” Jihoon sighed, sounding a bit annoyed.

“You need to lighten up,” Soonyoung told him.

You giggled softly, “Yeah, lighten up, Jihoon!”

And you swore you heard him chuckle.

-

After all that running around, the wolves desperately needed showers. Minghao was the last to go, walking out of the bathroom in new clothes and a towel draped over his shoulders as he continued to dry the excess moisture from his hair.

Truthfully, their activities in the yard just made them miss their missing brothers. Soonyoung and Seokmin were always two of the most excited to get outside and run around, so it was odd not having that extra energy there. But at least Minghao had his mind taken off of things for a little bit.

But now there were other things to be worried about on top of everything else. The sun had set, the night sky full of stars, and there was no sign of the search party or Jooyeon. The pack was growing more and more anxious, but nobody knew what to do. Should they go looking for them? Should they stay put?

“It would be good if we had Soonyoung’s power,” Junhui was saying as Minghao entered the kitchen in search of food. He hadn’t eaten all day – other than that one pancake – because of his nerves. “He could get information with--”

“Minghao!” Joshua cut off Junhui when he noticed the younger wolf enter. “Whose power do you have currently?”

Minghao shrugged, trying his best to channel Soonyoung’s powers, but nothing happened, “Not the one we need.”

“Chan’s, maybe?” Junhui suggested with a shrug.

“No, I’ve been moving normally all day,” Minghao sighed. “I don’t have anything useful to us right now. Probably Cheol’s. Or Shua’s, actually. I think he’s the last person I touched.”

“Well, maybe we could--” Joshua suddenly stopped mid-sentence, perking up like he heard something. “Do you hear that, too?”

The two wolves stopped and listened before they were able to pick up footsteps in the forest that were coming toward the den. Joshua nodded his head to the hallway, silently telling them they should go check out what it was.

As the three wolves went for the door, Joshua told Minghao to stay inside with everybody else, just in case it was some of the guards from town. So Minghao went and perched himself on the arm of the couch, keeping his eyes trained on the door.

“Why are you sitting like you have a stick in your ass?” Seungkwan asked.

Danbi smiled a bit at his comment, but kept her laughter to herself.

“Junhui and Josh heard something,” he explained. “They went to investigate.”

“Maybe they found Jooyeon,” Wonwoo shrugged.

“Or maybe it’s the guards,” Hansol reminded them.

The living room sat in silence as they strained to hear for any noise. Eventually, though, they could hear excited talking coming closer to the den. The tension from the room melted, and everybody visibly relaxed.

The group waited for the search party to come back into the house, but Minghao suddenly felt his heart rate pick up. He stood from the arm of the couch to go to the door, and the whole world froze.

Being set on the floor by Jeonghan and handed your cane by Seokmin, was you. Your almost white eyes stared at the floor as you concentrated on all the commotion around you. You didn’t even know he was only halfway down the hallway.

“_____…” your name fell from his lips in a sigh of disbelief, gaining your attention.

Your head snapped up as all the talking stopped, “Minghao?”

You heard his footsteps as he rushed up to you, and you were suddenly being lifted up by strong, warm arms around your waist. As soon as you were in his embrace, you got emotional, tears filling your eyes as you took in his touch, his scent, his everything. You’d only imagined this moment to finally happen, and it didn’t even seem real. It felt too good to be real.

Minghao just held you in his arms, your legs wrapping around him as you hugged him just as tightly. His face buried in your hair, letting the scent of purely you fill his nose so he’d never forget it. He was smiling and quietly laughing and crying all at once, and he didn’t care if the pack was watching because he’d never felt happier. His world finally felt complete having his mate in his arms. He refused to ever let you go.

“I love you,” you told him quietly in your native tongue, your words muffled by his shoulder as your tears stained his fresh shirt.

“I love you,” he hummed in the same language, his chest vibrating with elation and content. His inner wolf couldn’t be more happy. “I can’t believe I have you in my arms.”

He pulled back enough to cup your cheek, and finally – finally – bring your lips to his. The kiss was slow and sweet, but had a passion and neediness behind it. Neither of you ever thought you’d see each other, yet it was finally happening. This kiss was long overdue.

The pack was watching, you were crying, Minghao was crying, and you were miles from the only place familiar to you, but none of that mattered.

You were home. That was all that mattered.

[gilbirda]

Transcendence

The switching Stans plan was supposed to work, but they failed. And now, Mabel has to face the consequences.

[Read on AO3][Read on FF.net]

She never thought nothing of it. Really, what could go wrong? They managed to stop the Weirmageddon in time with the help of everyone in Gravity Falls, betting everything they have to save their beloved town. But when the bright light subsided, the Pines family knew something went wrong. Horribly wrong. Because Dipper was missing and Mabel couldn’t move at all.

Scared, she started to call for her brother, her brown eyes focusing in things randomly, searching for a sign that he was with her.

“Mabel!”, she faintly heard her uncle Ford scream and her vision tunneled in his face. “Mabel, can you hear me?” She couldn’t nod but focused in his eyes trying to talk through them. “Good, you are here with us.” Then she heard another voice nearby but couldn’t make the words. “Yes, she is fine. No, not responding. We must go back with the others.”

Mabel felt her body be carried in someone’s arms, but she couldn’t see who it was. Everything happened so slowly and yet so fast and bright… Someone please turn off that light! It was hurting her eyes. She could heard voices muffled in the distance, worried voices, but none of them was her brother’s.

Where was Dipper?

--------------------------

She woke in a strange bed that wasn’t hers. At least the room was dark enough and her eyes adjusted perfectly fine to it. She yawned and stretched, feeling the blissful pop in her back and joints. Somehow Mabel felt like a new person, fully rested and prepared for a new day with…

Dipper.

He wasn’t beside her or anywhere in the room, sleeping.

The panic came back, thoughts and memories of their attempt to kill Bill Cipher whirling in her mind, and the same awful feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought that oh my god where’s Dipper.

She ran downstairs realising by the pictures on the walls that this was Soos’ house, feeling the tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes as the real fact of the destruction of Gravity Falls settled in her mind. The Shack, her sweaters, the memories… gone. They would have to rebuild everything from scratch and Dipper wasn't here.

“Oh, she's awake”, said Abuelita while putting more coffee in a jar on the battered table. Her uncles, Wendy and Soos where sitting there silently sipping their drink and seemingly lost in their thoughts until Ford came back to reality and ran to her.

“Mabel, dear, how are you? Do you feel dizzy? Unwell? Possessed?”, he took out his small light and blinded the girl with it. The panicked voice told her that something was really wrong, and not just her brother's disappearance.

“Leave the kid alone, brother. She looks fine enough for me”, Stan murmured sounding very tired and old. Mabel remembered the swap her uncles made to trick Bill, but Stan seemed to be ok and knowing who they were. At her evident confused face, he answered her questions. “We failed, kid. Bill saw through our plan in the last moment and escaped, but was disintegrated in the process… or that's what brains here thinks happened.” Ford nodded.

“Bill lost his physical form and couldn't go back the moment he entered Stanley's mind. When cornered, realised what we plotted and part of his energy got out.” Ford sighed visibly uncomfortable.

“Dipper….”, the girl whispered as a question. Everyone in the room looked away from her tear-stained face.

“We… we don't know, Mabes”, Stan said softly, a comforting hand in her shoulder.

--------------------------

She didn't eat or sleep for days, refusing to move away from the bed and only accepting the water that Wendy or Abuelita brought her every few hours. Mabel seemed to have lost her will to live, the sparkle in her eyes gone like her brother and more than one thought that Mabel wasn't going to last much.

Word had spread about the tragedy and many considered a funeral for the little Pines boy, but Mabel insisted that he wasn't dead. Dipper couldn't be dead. She swore she could feel him somewhere with the twins ESP (Ford cocked an eyebrow at this), but after three days nobody believed her. Even Mabel started to entertain the thought of Dipper's death when her family left her alone.

Until one restless night, she opened her eyes and saw the world in grey scale.

“...el…”, she heard. Mabel looked everywhere trying to find the source of the voice. “...bel” the voice repeated. It was a boy's voice, but it was so distorted that could be anyone's.

“Mabel!”

“AAAAH!”

The girl fell on her butt and looked up to see… Dipper. Tears pooled on her eyes, happy to see him at last and ignoring the fact that he was translucid. She ran to his arms, crying, mumbling about how lonely she has been and how happy she was to see that he was ok and was coming back.

“Mabel…”, his tone carried multiple voices in one, like whispers floating on the wind. Mabel liked none of that.

“Dipper?”, she asked feeling more confused when he didn’t hug back. “Are you ok?”

The boy watched her with a strange glint in his eyes and a sad expression, as if this was a painful experience for him. He took her hands in his and smiled briefly before getting serious again and spoke:

“Mabel, I’m sorry. I’m afraid…”, he looked elsewhere as his voice cracked in a weird way, “I’m afraid we’ll never see each other again.”

She felt that her whole world fell apart in that moment. Mabel didn’t want to believe him, but if Dipper said so then it must be true. She trusted her brother, but still she had to ask.

“Why…?”

“Mabes, I’m dead. Can’t you see it?” He got back a few steps and stood in the middle of the grey room. His feet didn’t touch the ground and now the girl could see that his body wasn’t really opaque. Oh no. “I died that day, when we killed Bill. Yes, he is dead”, he added when his sister opened her mouth to ask, “and he is gone for. But… Some of his energy escaped from Stan’s mind and got to us in time to survive, like a symbiote, and still lives within us. Within you.” He made a face at the correction.

“And you? Why am I alive?”, tears were running down her cheeks uncontrollably. Her brother was really dead. Dipper wouldn’t come back.

“The energy in me wasn’t enough to protect me from the explosion, but yours was greater. I guess you were the superior twin after all”, the smile in his lips was everything but happy. “Mabes, I…”

He was interrupted by a loud noise from somewhere in the background and the place started to melt. Walls dissolving like a candle burning to its end, the grey-and-white room was slowly warning her that her dream was coming to an end. No, no, no. She didn’t want to wake up!

“Dipper!”, she exclaimed running to her brother, but when she jumped to his arms, instead of getting her very needed hug, Mabel found herself on the trembling floor and with a sore shoulder.

“It’s my time, then”, the boy looked at his hands beginning to disappear and smiled again to his sister. “I love you, Mabel.”

“No!”

“I hope you remember me, as a part of myself will live inside of you forever.” His feet were now gone and his signature pine tree hat was dissolving like sand on the wind.

“No, Dipper. NO!”

“Be happy”, he closed his eyes.

And just like that, all that was left of her brother exploded in tiny little particles floating in mid-air over the carpet she was sitting on. Before she could see what they were clearly, it floated to her chest and passed through her clothes directly to her skin, and a weird warmth condensed in her heart. She could feel it get bigger and bigger, making it difficult to breathe, arching her back.

She opened the eyes she didn’t know were closed and found herself floating in the colored room, the real room, and she was shining brighter than the Sun. On the door, she spotted her uncles and Wendy watching her with their mouth so open that they could swallow a few flies, a hand at the level of the eyes to protect them from the light.

Then, something inside of her snapped and she fell unceremoniously to the floor with a loud thud.

“Mabel!”, she heard Ford before she could see him. Someone took one of her hands and a gloved hand checked her pulse. “Are you ok?”

“Dipper…”, she managed to say.

“Did you see him? Where?” Stanley looked confused.

“He… He is gone, Grunkle”, her voice broke and Mabel felt tears start to fall again. “Dipper is dead.”

--------------------------

The following days were similar to the ones before, but now Mabel refused to go back to her bed. She spent her days sitting on a chair in the living room, watching everyone move around without saying another word. She slept sometimes, but it was scarce. Alas, she never looked really tired.

Ford started to suspect that something had happened that day she woke up being a Star. Something big, and something connected to Bill Cipher. When his grand-niece showed unconscious control over things -stuff floating in mid-air or catching fire without reason, and the like-, Ford felt like crying.

Not only had they lost their precious Dipper, but Mabel was becoming something else. Something dangerous. Demonic.

When he first approached the girl about this, she just held his stare and said nothing, creeping everyone in the room, listening to Ford’s explanation of how this could have happened. He thought that Bill’s energy had a consciousness of its own and attached itself to the twins, trying to survive, transforming their bodies into a more appropriate vessel. The changes may be slow, but they would definitely see it sometime soon. He didn’t say anything about Dipper’s death or strange “fusion” with his sister, but she understood nonetheless.

Mabel just nodded and let herself fall into the catatonic state again when her uncle finished. No more tears or screams. The girl seemed to accept what was happening to her without fight in her body, and the people in the room were afraid that it was too late for her mind. That she was going insane, and that was a word they would not like to associate to their beloved Mabel. It was just too much like him.

As more days passed, the new mayor declared the “Never Mind All That” Act, and started the rebuilding of their town as if a end-of-the-world catastrophe never happened. When the Shack was recovered from the ashes of the battle, the Pines moved to their new home with a broken Mabel lost in her mind, trying not to cry when she walked up the stairs to their… her room with her distant eyes and pale skin.

She didn’t came out for days.

--------------------------

But the dreams came back. Almost everyday, even when she thought she was awake, Mabel saw the evil figure she didn’t want to see ever again in her life. He laughed at her demise, he taunted her, mocked her, made fun of her loss. “Where’s Pine Tree?”, he usually asked, and if he had a mouth she was sure he’d be smiling like crazy.

At first the girl screamed at him, cried, punched him; anything to vent her rage and sorrow. Dipper was dead and she was becoming a… demon, all because a stupid triangle wanted to take over the world. She wanted to die, then. If Dipper wasn’t coming back to her she didn’t want to go on anymore.

She asked the demon. “Just finish me already”, she whispered one lonely night a week later in her black-and-white room at the renewed Shack. “Kill me so I can be at peace with my brother.”

“I can’t do that, Shooting Star”, he said twirling his signature cane in one finger. “And I guess you know it as well as I do.”

She somehow knew he was right, somewhere deep inside told her she just couldn’t

It was one evening when she jumped from the roof and Wendy found her broken body on a bush, crying and bleeding like hell, but definitely alive and awake, that she accepted this new feature of her new reality: She wasn’t going to die anytime soon. Maybe never. An eternity of this was all that was left for her.

Would she age? She didn’t know, but the thought of watching everyone she loved die before her eyes was frightening, even more that the growing powers inside her.

She the cursed everything, wishing for it to disappear. If she couldn’t die, she didn’t want a world where she had loved so much and had been so happy. But the cruel destiny, and a cruel demon triangle, wouldn’t even grant her wish.

“Woah there, girl. You might want to rethink that wish”, he said in one dream but Mabel could hear the underlying mocking tone. “You what they say, it might become true.”

And next morning nothing happened. With all her powers, all the time of the world, and she couldn’t have her one and only wish granted.

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As months passed, she had to sit and watch her grunkles worry about her condition, as Ford used to say when they talked about it, when Mabel seemed to sleep less and less to the point that at night she didn’t have anything to do but go to the dreamscape out of boredom. She didn’t need to eat as well, and just sat there watching them eat with her empty eyes, creeping them until she decided to wait for them to eat anywhere else on the house. Stan felt guilty when he was relieved by her decision instead of worried.

And her parents? They lied to them, saying that the twins wanted so hard to stay in Gravity Falls, that they had a home tutor for them. Ford searched his old professor documents and send them by fax (changing his name, since Mabel’s parents didn’t know about Ford and explaining it would mean explaining about Weirdmaggedon) until it was settled that “the twins” could stay. Stan cried for the first time in many years when the call ended. He had failed to everyone, he was supposed to protect the children from harm this summer and he failed.

The summer ended and Mabel got the hang of her new powers, Bill’s powers. She almost could hear his voice on her ear teaching her how to do it. Levitation, flying and making stuff float at will was as easy as breathing now, and small sparks of blue fire appeared on her fingertips when she got angry for whatever reason. The Pines household had accepted the new condition and no longer horrified them, so when she confessed she was being visited by the triangle demon on her “dreams” Ford didn’t even flinch. He has begun to accept that Mabel wasn’t going to turn back to normal. Not when he could almost hear the cursed voice of the bane of his existence on her words. Her eyes no longer full of wonder, but a void so deep and black with a little twist of madness.

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The first time that Mabel realised that she couldn’t feel anything was on her own funeral. Watching her parents cry before the empty tombs of her brother and hers she couldn’t bring any grief or sadness to surface, not even one little tear came to her call and her deep brown eyes observed with curiosity as her mother broke down on her father’s arms, the loud sobs filling the enormous cemetery they were burying the little coffins made for the lost twins that died in an “accident” back in Gravity Falls. Just a little fire in the forest near the house and her parents believed that neither body could be found on the ashes.

She knew it was necessary to fake their death up to some point, but time passed so fast now that when Ford asked her to make the fire on the anniversary of Weirdmaggedon it seemed like a blink of the eye for her. Being a creature of pure energy was starting to weigh down on her and it was now that she took notice of her aging grunkles with even more wrinkles that last summer, while she remained the same.

“Oh”, she had said then before turning back to the backyard to fake her own death.

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When Soos got married, three years later, everyone had already moved on from the loss of the little Pine twins and her name was written somewhere in a slab on the main road. The ceremony was small, just a few friends and family of the hispanic friend and his beautiful wife, Melody. She was expecting, no surprise, and the man-child never seemed so happy on his life. He promised on his wedding that he would be the father he never got and wished for his baby to be happier than he ever was in his life.

Mabel made a silent promise to make that true when she watched from the sidelines, invisible to the eyes of the townsfolk attending the ceremony; and, for a second, she heard the demon’s voice in her ears, laughing. “It’s that a deal I hear?”, he said. Mabel didn’t flinch. He had been haunting her in her “dreams”, telling her that making deals was now in her nature, that she eventually would fill in his eternal job, that she would trick people into making horrible deals out of desperation. She was disgusted by it, remembering just how he had tricked her brother and her into Weirdmaggedon and resulting in the loss of everything she loved and was.

She was never going into making deals.

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A few months after the 10th anniversary of the official death of the twins, another Pines left them for good. Stanley Pines never was one for a healthy life and cholesterol took him away peacefully one night. He didn’t suffer, even died with a smile, maybe a good dream he was having. The town mourned for a week the former Mr Mystery, as Soos took his job and has been managing the Shack for a few years now, visiting the shop and giving their condolences to the friends and family that remained. Mabel floated around listening to the soft whispers, again feeling completely left out without the ability to relate to their feelings. She had never felt so alienated in her life, so different and weird. She looked exactly the same as she did when her life changed forever, the same skirt, the same sweater, the same headband. Her now black eyes was the only thing out of place, that’s true, but no one looked at them now so it didn’t matter anymore.

“Mabel, come here”, she heard Ford’s voice and then she realised that the house was once more empty and it was snowing on the outside. Was it winter again? But it seemed yesterday that her grunkle died and it was in October! Nevertheless, she approached her grunkle and looked at him waiting for what he wanted to say.

The man sighed. She wasn’t his niece anymore and it was more than obvious now. She was in this realm barely every few weeks for a day or two and she didn’t seem to realise that her body was translucent most of the time she became visible for them to speak. She wasn’t the demon he feared she’d become, but she wasn’t Mabel; it was something else in between, a being made of energy from another world in a little girl’s shape with some memories of its vessel’s past life. It didn’t fight for dominion, as the child’s mind and body surrendered to it so many years ago before his own eyes, and fused successfully with her. He wondered if she recognized him at all, if she felt as sad as he was for everything that happened to her and Dipper, if she did care at all for the people she used to love and cherish. He asked himself not few times if there was any humanity left in her body or if she was lost and dead as the town believed her to be.

Nevertheless, he explained that didn’t have much left, that his old body was giving up on him, and that she was going to be on her own. Eventually, she was going to leave Gravity Falls and spend eternity alone… and forgotten. He launched himself in a speech so many times practised alone in the rusty lab downstairs, not looking really at the void eyes of Mabel in front of him, not caring anymore if she was listening or not. When he finished, he took the cane he hated so much and went to his room to sleep.

He died next spring the same way as his twin, with a gentle smile on his lips, dreaming of the future he was robbed with his family united and adventures with his brother in the Stan’o War II.

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It was raining that night, but for Mabel it wasn’t even a breeze on her skin. She didn’t feel anything, no pain, no sorrow, not even the cold as it was winter again. A year has passed and when she went to see her grunkle she discovered that he died already. Soos told her so with an uncomfortable smile on his face and a nervous glance to his chubby little son, now six years old, and she got the message that a demon like her wasn’t welcome anymore to the house that once was her home. Mabel smiled in understanding and left to never be seen again, leaving him with a weird pain in his chest wondering if the guilt he was feeling should really be there. He had a family now, responsibilities, and as awesome as having his own ghost haunting the Shack was, he knew she was in the end of the day a demon, and his son’s well being came first.

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Kevin, as she later learned was the little boy’s name, was now a young man and Mabel watched him every now and them, taking care of the man’s health and security as she promised so many years ago. Soos’s family was expanding as now two beautiful girls were running around the Shack, sleeping in what once was her room, little twins with identical big smiles and brown eyes full of curiosity. She swore to protect them, the same as their big brother, so they would never suffer the pain of losing their other half like she did in the past.

Soos was getting a few grey hairs on his head, same as Melody, and from time to time Wendy came to the Shack to see how everything was going around, talk about the Pines and have a moment to remember that fateful summer. They were the only ones who did.

Mabel appreciated that. If they didn’t talk about it she knew she’d had forgotten her name long ago as no one called her anymore. She spent almost always in the dreamscape, practising with her powers and focusing in the balance of the demon inside of her. Bill was always there calling her Shooting Star, mocking her, asking for her brother, taking her to the limit. Her only company was the hated demon that took away her life, and she had told him so, but stopped trying to kill him since he seemed to be made of smoke in her dreams.

Little by little, he had said, all that made her Mabel would disappear. “It’s only a matter of time, Shooting Star, that you accept me as your only companion.”

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She knew what he meant when she watched her last friend die before her own eyes. Wendy was the one who lasted more than everyone else, reaching more than a hundred years. This time it was cancer what took her friend away and Mabel could do nothing to stop it, her body didn’t respond and could not say the words to make a “deal” to make her stay alive a few more years. At least the woman was loved and had great life, a beautiful family by her side, and lots of children to remind her the wonders of adventure.

Mabel, on the other hand, was now truly alone.

She came back to the dreamscape feeling a bit of despair, a now strange feeling on her empty body, and tears finally came to her eyes. She cried and cried for her lost friend, her brother, her family, her childhood. All of that, brutally taken from her by that disgusting demon laughing at her from his spot a few steps behind.

She turned around and screamed at his face everything she felt, how she hated him and everything he had done to her. She launched herself to him and for the first time, the triangle was solid enough for her to do some real damage to his mocking eye. God, how she hated it when he did that.

Mabel cursed him and screamed so loud until her throat hurt and the tears stopped falling. Her punches didn’t seem to do much damage and his “smile” was still in place when her little arms didn’t move again for another hit.

“Tired already, Shooting Star?”

“Shut up.” Even her own voice seemed strange to her. “I hate you so much.”

“Awwww”, he said with another laugh.

“You destroyed my life”. She closed her eyes feeling more tears coming. Feelings she couldn’t comprehend came back full force and Mabel was being crushed by years of unattended emotions.

“You did”, he answered in a more serious tone, “that day when you tried to kill Bill Cipher. Or have you forgotten already?”

“Shut the fuck up!”, the girl growled and a pulse of energy emerged from her body, launching the triangle a few metres back. “You did it! You killed my brother! You made me this… monster I am now!”. The girl jumped again to the fallen form of her enemy and pinned him under her body.

“Oh dear, don’t be like that”, he smiled with his eye and Mabel felt sick to her stomach. “We are so going to enjoy an eternity together~”.

“I refuse to be stuck with you, Bill Cipher!”, and as if she had said the funniest joke in the multiverse, the demon started to laugh his existence out. The girl-demon was slightly taken aback, but still weary if this was some kind of trick.

“You amuse me, Shooting Star”, the triangle managed to say, “Do you really not recognize yourself?”, and the weirdest thing happened.

Where there wasn’t a mouth, now was a smirk. The triangle was gone with a blink and in his place was the pale body of a girl with a severe need of sunlight, her eyes a black pool of nothingness and her body barely covered by an outfit she did recognize too well, but it was so battered and torn by years of use that the colors had disappeared completely, leaving them almost in greyscale.

She was looking at herself in a mirror. Her hands cut with the raw edges of the glass and blood started to run all over her reflection, making it even more horrible.

The other Mabel laughed at her face, her voice a mix of his voice and her own.

“Surprise!”, she said. “This whole time you were talking to yourself! Isn’t it funny? C’mon Shooting Star, you are the only one not having any fun.”

She jumped back and watched in horror as the reflection got up and jumped out of the mirror, before watching her with a curious smile. She couldn’t believe it. She was really crazy now. Bill was never there, only herself alone in the void of her existence, and it would be so until the end of times. If she ever considered the small possibility of company, even that of her nemesis’, she wasn’t having any of that now. She was truly and completely alone .

Alone…

Mabel smiled and laughed softly. Her walking reflection caught her thoughts and smiled too.

… for all eternity…

It was now a full scale laugh fest, neither of them knowing exactly what was so funny, but laughing until their voices merged as one. Mabel barely thought that how could she even consider that Bill was there, it was obvious now to her the impossibility of it. After all, it seemed her destiny was to be alone.

Alone and forgotten.

She laughed the last bit of happiness there was inside of her body and opened the eyes she didn’t know were closed. Unsurprisingly, her reflection wasn’t there.

The girl-demon looked down to her clothes and thought they needed a change. Something more… fitting. Black pants and a white buttoned shirt appeared instead of the old Mabel-y outfit, along with a black coat lined in gold star motives. Yeah, now we were talking.

She willed a cane in her right hand and smirked when it appeared out of thin air. It was a cool symbol of her predicament and how she came to be. Bill was going to be around her existence forever and the least she could do was pay little tribute to him. But still there was something missing…

With a flick of her wrist, a top hat was in her left hand and she put it in its rightful place. Now, it was just perfect.

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The little girl didn’t know why she was doing this. The book she found was nearly illegible and kinda spooky, but it promised the power to protect herself and the ones she cared for. The only thing she needed was some candles and time to make the proper ritual.

The latin words sounded weird out loud, but it was written beside the instructions of the circle she drew with chalk, so they must be the right words. She was sure she said them right when the world shifted and became black and white, all colors fading and time slowing until the little fly on her window seemed frozen in place.

Blue fire emerged from the pentagram on the floor of her bedroom and a figure with a cane materialized on the center of the circle surrounded by the flames as if they didn’t burn at all despite the intense heat.

“Well well…”, the figure said taking off the top hat and twisting the cane on the right hand. “It’s nice to be back!”

The girl was taken aback when the demon was a girl no older than her. Maybe a bit taller, but the same round face, the same big eyes, the same short legs.

“Are you… Are you the demon? Cipher?”, the girl asked trying to keep her voice even. The other girl smiled at the name.

“You could say that~”, she answered putting the hat back over her black headband.

“I need your help”, the child managed to say after a few seconds of hesitation. If this was the demon on the book then she could help her. “I will pay you with everything I have, I’ll give you my soul… but don’t let him take my brother!”. That seemed to spark curiosity on the yellow-ish eyes of the strange demon before her.

“I’m listening.”

“My father.. he is trying to kill me to get to my little brother. His mother died and I am the only one left who could protect him.”

The demon looked at her with those deep eyes that told many stories, many things passing through them so fast she couldn’t figure out what the other was thinking behind the serious mask of indifference.

“I see”, was all she said. Hope bloomed on the girl’s heart and a need for this to be get over with soon rose. Her brother was in danger and the demon was looking at her room like it was some kind of museum!

“Are you going to help me?”, the need was obvious on her voice and the demon looked back to her with a wicked smile on her lips.

“It’d come with a price, you know.”

“Anything!”, the child shrieked. That amused the demon even more.

“All right then, we’ll work the details later. Tonight, you’ll sleep like a baby and tomorrow all will be gone. It’s a deal?”, the girl-demon extended her gloved hand surrounded in blue flames and the other girl didn’t even hesitate. The decision was made. Her brother was worth it.

“It’s a deal.”

And with another creepy maniacal laugh the demon was gone, color was back and time resumed its course as if she was never there.

Next morning, her house was filled with police sirens and medics. Her father had been stabbed overnight in a robbery gone wrong. An aunt she had never heard of came home in tears, willing to adopt them.

It was many many years later when she found out her price: She couldn’t find, no matter how hard she looked, one sole photograph of her with her brother.