#I know it's super terrible im officially quitting...tomorrow because I still have one in my fridge

[infamous-if]

the next Patreon stuff should be up soon. chapter 3 is essentially done 😵‍💫 and now im just fixing the behemoth that is chapter 2 and fixing chapter 2 inevitably means I may be changing things in chapter 3 so while I say chapter 3 is done its not actually done (but it's done) if you catch my drift lol hope everyone is having a good day :)

[yyxgin]

no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you 

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!! 

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!! 

ily <333

[radfembunny]

I am ~stressed~, I hate my old job so much. A lot of this is my fault because I kinda started my new job and still haven’t quit my old one lmao oops. BUT in my defense there’s been a lot of complications that led to that. First my background checks for my new one took FOREVER and they weren’t clear even a week before I started. so I didn’t even know if I officially had the job and didn’t want to quit my old one until I did bc im already hardcore struggling financially.

THEN the medical issues started, and I’m going to have a period where I have no health insurance bc I can’t get it until 3 months at my new job. So I’ve been having bad leg pain from one of my medications and when I researched it I realized I’m at super high risk for a blood clot because of a couple meds I’m on, plus I have a blood disorder where it clots easily, AND I’m overweight and vape a lot. So I get it checked out over the weekend and I do have a small clot. But I am okay! I caught it before it traveled, I’m on blood thinners, I’m totally able to do my new job since I’m only training online at home. It was a perfect excuse to call off my current job until I quit though, or so I thought.

First they guilt trip me about calling off, especially because other people called off (for bullshit reasons)... okay well I HAVE A BLOOD CLOT I cannot stand for 10 hours at a grocery store and be running around. Then they expect me to be back *the very next day* after having to go to the hospital for my leg... again, I HAVE A BLOOD CLOT. I NEED MORE THAN ONE DAY OFF!

I’ve been scared to quit bc they are going to be really screwed without me and I’m doing it without notice but Jesus fucking Christ this has pissed me off so much and now I truly can’t wait. I’m taking my letter in tonight. My bosses will figure it out when they come in tomorrow morning and be super pissed. I’ll be blocking their numbers lmao. I’m really nervous about it but man, this whole situation has made me realize how terrible that place really is.

[cauldronoflove]

Ok so this is really obscure, but I've had this idea for a while now, and I'd love to see you work with it? Headcanons for a time travel AU in which Peter Parker is messing with Stark Tech and gets sent back to the 1940s? He could work with Peggy Carter in the SSR to solve the case and pretend to be her little brother. Plus in 2017 Tony and Steve working together to get him back. If you think it's weird or want to skip it no worries! If not, then thank you so much, I love your headcanons!!

i love this concept so much you dont even know?? but also okay i realized abt halfway through these 2.5k+ words that this wasnt exactly what you asked for and i feel kinda bad about that but i hope you still like it all the same!! also i wanna say thank you for thinking of me for this prompt im super flattered????

- peter wasnt technically supposed to be in the 4th basement of stark tower

- technically he was on his lunch break and was supposed to be using said time to both eat and work on his spanish homework

- but he'd heard these whispers from a couple of the older interns about some of the old stuff that mr. stark had thrown down there because he never had time to finish them and peter had an idea

- see, he's been wanting to move up a bit, have mr. stark trust him a little more, and what's better then maybe taking one of his old designs and making it better and making it work

- so thats why he's in the fourth basement of stark tower, trying to remember if he's had his tetanus shot because some of this stuff is seriously Old

- and then he stumbles onto this little pyramid shaped....doohickey

- its the only thing in 4 floors of Things that doesnt have a label or a file or a crude drawing taped to the front of it so now peter is Officially Curious

- he kinda fiddles with it for a few minutes until his phone beeps with his 'hey pete youre gonna be super late getting back to work again' alarm and he about drops this thing on the floor because like everyday the alarm scares him to death

- but because hes clumsy and because hes pete he actually does drop it and everything goes black

- but everything's fine because he wakes right back up and he's pretty sure that he electrocuted himself but thats happened dozens of times so he picks himself up and brushes himself off and realizes that he may have been out longer than he thought because theres fewer boxes in the room than before and geez his head hurts

- "are you quite alright?"

- oh god he mustve hit his head harder than he thought because that looks like

- "m-miss carter, no sorry, ma'am? oh, oh god i'm so sorry that was so rude, agent? agent ma'am?"

- "this is howard's fault isnt it"

- "howard? as in....oh god oh god"

- "do you know where you are?"

- peter parker loved a lot of things and one of those things was museums and one of those museums in particular had an exhibit on a certain mr. rogers and adjacent to that exhibit was a small plaque about the woman standing in front of him and oh god he was going to hyperventilate and throw up in front of a literal legend and hero at the same time

- "remind me to kill him later. right now lets get you something warm to drink, yes? maybe some new clothes, youre looking a little singed"

- flash forward half an hour and he's sitting in front of the agent carter sipping at some terribly bitter coffee while she pursed and unpursed her lips a few times

- (annnnd time skip back to present day)

- friday: mr stark theres a woman downstairs beating on the door asking for youtony, 47 names going through his head: ...go on

- enter may parker, in her pjs, fire in her eyes, carrying on the legacy of brunette women ready to end a stark's life

- "it is ten o'clock on a school night, i've talked to ned, i've talked to mj and liz, i've talked to every corner sub shop owner, i even had a nice long chat with pepper, yet no one could tell me anything so you better have answers as to where my nephew is anthony"

- and in that moment, tony stark's life flashed before his eyes

- "hey, friday, where is the kid?"

- "peter's vitals havent been detected since 1:32pm on floor D"

- tony: fu-

- (back to pete and peggy)

- so he's quickly caught her up on the gist of whats going on (aka he told her he's from 2017 ny and hed really just like to go home) and she's taking it surprisingly well, all nodding and hmm-ing and cursing howard stark under her breath, kinda how may is when tony does like.. anything

- but now shes leading him through their super secret base and he's trying not to stare because, has he mentioned, hes literally standing next to peggy carter

- "right, well, here's your cot. if you need anything, dugan can help you. he's that one, there, with the cigar. you get some rest and i'll find howard and see if we cant get your...issue squared away. oh, and whatever you do, dont accept anything dernier tries to give you, you've already blown up once today, i dont think you can afford another"

- present day

- tony's been working through the night, a marginally-more-than-slightly disgruntled may beside him, and an even-more-than-marginally-more-than-slightly peeved happy beside her

- ("how do you lose a teenage boy, tony" happy moans to his phone when he wakes up and sees all the missed calls and texts he has)

- good news: it only took like 2 1/2 hours and three shots of espresson for tony to figure out what happened to peter

- bad news: it wasnt even a Tony Stark Exclusive Design, it was a Howard Stark One-Time Use That Was Actually A Malfunction Design, he'd had several more coffees that werent even close to being strong enough, and he had a growing black eye from the punch may landed before happy could pull her away and calm her down (maybe that last part should be in the good news column)

- "so he's just stuck in the 40s alone, then" may surmises, rubbing at the tension headache in her temples

- tony doesnt respond because at this point he needs his other eye for miracle working and depth perception

- "well, probably not alone," happy begins. "i catalogued everything in that level, and that stuff came from one of howard's london facilities, so it was probably calibrated for that time, so he's probably with-"

- tony: "hap, please dont finish that sentence"

- may: "1940s london. so he's with steve, then, safe. with captain america. okay, i can handle that."

- tony: "no, ah, a little later than capsicle, probably"

- may: "so not safe with captain america"

- happy: "safe with agent carter, more likely"

- pete and peggy

- good news: pete made it through the night without being blown up by the howling commandoes

- bad news: once howard was finally located and sobered up, he explained that he hadnt built that particular device yet, so peter was kinda stuck

- peter wasnt coping well

- "i have a spanish test tomorrow! and a trig test on friday! and i'm supposed to hang out with ned on saturday, and then may's gonna kill me when i dont show up for sunday dinner, and shes gonna kill me in general because i never checked in because holy shit i never checked in!"

- howard: peggy he's crying what do i do

- peggy: do i have to do everything myself

- she advances on peter and takes his chin in her hand, locking eyes with him: peter, you know who i am, dont you?

- he nods as best as he can

- "then you must know that i'm going to do everything in my power and then some to get you back home, dont you?"

- "yes ma'am"

- "good. go take a walk while i talk to howard, and if anyone asks, youre my american brother in for a short visit." and then she pats him on the cheek and his soul kinda ascends then and there because agent carter just patted him on the cheek AND gave him permission to tell people he's her brother

- so he goes to take his walk but the thing is when he gets anxious, he likes to fiddle with the loose legos he keeps under his bed, building and rebuilding tiny structures to help ease his nerves

- needless to say, he's an Absolute Nervous Wreck while he waits for some kind of something from peggy or howard and there arent any legos to keep him busy

- so he kind of takes that walk right on down to the lab and starts poking around because even if he is a certified nervous wreck he's also thr most inquisitive little shit that ever did walk the earth

- peggy finds him two hours later with a pair of loose fitting goggles on his forehead, his sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and some . substance on his hands

- "please dont tell me youre somehow howard's long lost son too," she says, taking his appearance in

- he shakes his head as the beakers in front of him emit a puff of green smoke directly into his already scrunched up face "no ma'am; it's just that mr. stark kinda has me on desk duty and never lets me get my hands dirty so i like to take every oppurtunity i can get"

- she nods, "good, because howard needs you to describe what you remember of the device, and then you and i are going to begin the slog through the logistics of it all"

- "ooooookay"

- which is how peter parker ends up sitting across from peggy carter, the both of them scribbling extremely advanced mathematics onto yellowing sheets of paper as howard stark tinkered with some spare parts he had lying around as he tried to construct a crude rendering of the device

- peggy mostly doesnt talk, actually, she hasnt spoken since explaining that shed picked her math skills up on an assignment shed once had where she learned she actually loved numbers and then howard had been letting her do calculations for him in her free time

- peter was too impressed to respond bc from what he gathered she'd only been on that mission for six months and she didnt have much free time which meant she'd had to pick it all up FAST

- anyway, they got at that for hours, until peter cant keep his eyes open and even howard is dwindling; peggy waves them both off to bed but stays and keeps scribbling away

- they repeat that routine for 3 days

- on the 5th night, after she waves them off, peter goes to his cot and he tosses and turns for hours, listening to the commandoes play poker and crack jokes, but he cant sleep

- finally he gets up and just starts walking, anywhere his feet take him

- coincidentally, his feet take him past what he quickly realizes is peggy's room

- "peter why are you still up? is everything all right?" she asks, pulling off these big hulking glasses that made him incredibly homesick because she reminds him so much of may in that moment, big glasses on, hunched over a book in her lap, hair pulled back out of her face

- and he apologizes, but she Knows something's terribly wrong, so she gets up and ushers him away from her doorway, and leads him down a hall or two and then theyre standing in an open space, and she's looking at him like shes trying to solve one of her equations

- "do you know how to throw a punch, peter"

- " whatever youre thinking i dont think its a good idea we dont have any gear and i dont want to get hurt-"

- she shakes her head and asks again, and he finally answers with a kinda

- "'kinda' will get you hurt; watch me" and she begins to demonstrate a few slow punches and he follows her movements and tries to copy them but hes a little sloppy but its ok because she corrects him and finally theyre just standing beside one another counting out punches when she asks "whats on your mind"

- and he doesnt even hesitate he just lets loose everything, how much he misses may and how terrible he feels that he cant get in touch with her, how much he misses ned and mj and liz, how much he misses his fire escape and the deli on the corner and the buildings and then he's crying again, but she gracefully doesnt point it out

- once he's done spitting out everything thats bothering him she gets this kind of sad smile and says, "you remind me of a man i knew. he cared so much about his friends, sometimes to the point of not even worrying about himself, whuch meant he was always in some sort of trouble, as you can imagine. but he always found his way out of a problem, even if he was the one who created it." she laughs slightly then. "i guess what i'm getting at is even if i cant get you back home, even if howard cant, i believe that youll figure it out."

- "are you comparing me to captain anerica right now because i'm already crying and i dont think i can take much more" he says through sniffles, his arms slack by his sides now

- she smiles and nods, keeping her stance, and peter feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this amazing woman who immediately helped him without much of a pause and who's made sure he was okay for the past 5 days and who's up at god knows what time showing him how to throw a punch and being his borderline therapist and he just wants to give her something in return

- "im not sure if im supposed to do this, because for all i know it could tear a hole in the fabric of time and space but i really want to show you this," he begins, pulling his wallet put of his pocket.

- he flicks the little photo holders out and theres may, and theres ned and mj and liz, and theres that cat he found that one time, and theres him and tony, and there, at the bottom, is the time he officially met steve after the whole fight thing and all

- "this was taken a couple months ago; well, a couple months for me, it's decades from now, but here," and he holds out his wallet for her to see and she looks over the photo curiously before she understands and a tear slips down her cheek and she smiles the most grand smile

- "thank you, peter" and she passes the wallet back and puts her hand on his shoulder and says "i promise i'll have you home in time for sunday dinner"

- and she does

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #2: “I have no material for a confessional” - John

Cole got voted out? Who is Cole? Oh the one who proclaimed that "the real bitch has arrived"...bye.

Ok so now that Cole is gone, my next target if we lose I think Bryce should be next. The tribe shoulda known what would happen when me and Nick got put together :) only the inevitable tribe swap can screw this up.

So I have no idea who that first boot guy was, but rip the first of many people!  I hope to not follow him out the door anytime soon lmfao...

This challenge looks like it'll be fun and brain blasting, but I'm so bad at everything, so we shall have to see how I perform!  I really want to thrive in this pre-merge portion and not only form alliances but also show that I can do a challenge for my tribe and do it well!

Hi! I’m Nicole! I’ve been doing so terrible in this game so far, I already got a strike for not submitting a confessional and also abstained from last immunity. I absolutely HAVE TO pull my weight this round or my tribe is gonna hate my guts. I love Alice in Wonderland so I’m sad that I am doing so pooorly but hopefully I still have time to turn it around.

I did the challenge and i hope i did well enough to give us points to win immunity. Dont really want to go to tribal. I really like my tribe. It is time tho to have somewhat game talk. Right now Im feeling like I want to align with sharky, dennis, and charlie. But need to see who they would want to work with. I also really like Brian. So by default if we do lose, my target might be Nicole which sucks but we havent really talked. Those are my thoughts so far.

I started my game talk with Dennis and he wants to work together which is great. (Hopefully he is telling the truth). Next we talked about who we should bring in and he said charlie and Im down with that because Charlie is awesome. I brought up Sharky and Dennis said that he was chill and would work with him. He’s asking Charlie and I’ll be asking Sharky. Hopefully this four person alliance works. I really like to work with them three.

Okay challenge performance: Not my best? Outfit I wore while I did my challenge: cute.

Okay the game has officially BEGUN. Maynor just came to me pitching an alliance. I feel great about working with because we get on really well. The only hiccup is that he followed it with pitching us working with Dennis and Charlie as a 4 person alliance. I really want to work with Brian though so I'm going to try and get him to keep his options open...but I have an alliance at least.

Does Nicole have a personality? I'm really not sure because our conversation has consisted of NOTHING. I want to work with women...but not Nicole…

Charlie and Sharky both agreed to be part of the 4 person alliance. This is great because we will have majority on our tribe. Hopefully its true tho. Sharky is down to be my duo partner in this game and im 100% truthful about that. I would totally go to the end with him. Lets just hope we win immunity today so we can avoid tribal again.

Okay so this alliance is in motion and Brian is getting left behind...I have to figure out a way to warn him without freaking him out

Wowee, tribal. Not a fan. I should be Gucci but like maybe a new Gucci gang will usurp me. Though I do severely doubt it lol. wooo! Did someone mention that I have an exam tomorrow as well? Love this. Brb gonna have a mental breakdown.

WE WON. Thank god. The longer we stay on this winning streak the longer I can keep from having to make real choices in who I align with.

From here on out Maynor and I will be a power couple known only as The Scream Team.

All I know is Keaton BETTTER STAY. If he leaves, ima kick his ass

Alliance of 4 is great. Going to make a chat later with host. Need to come up with an alliance name first. We won immunity which is awesome. We are now only tribe to have all memebers still. Which is good and bad since we could be targets during a swap for having everyone still in the game. Lets 🤞 that doesn’t happen.

ok so jayden stays ignoring but finally started talking to me for like 4 minutes so love that!! he really cares. and like still ppl force me to have convos with them like i just want a social game sorry to inconvenience u!! love naomi smalls. uh i have a f2 now! me and nathan WILL win this game know that we scored the highest in the challenge too.. WHICH WE WON! WOOOOH

Keaton has decided he wants to be buddies with me and BC now so *surprise* that’s an alliance now. Woohoo. Keaton’s growing on me a lot actually - it took him a while to get started but now he’s arguably one of my favorites. Keep it up Keaton!

At this point it’s getting increasingly obvious that BC wants to be everyone’s best friend. The alliance with Matt happened because BC had a chat with both of us the night before about allying separately. And Keaton initiated the alliance yesterday because of a conversation he had with BC. And then apparently BC gets on really well with Marie as well? From my perspective, he’s spreading himself too thin and it could bite him in the ass if he’s not careful.

As for the vote, it’s between Marie and John. BC and I are leaning John. The guy hasn’t talked to me once since the first night. He’s putting in super low effort, and I’d rather have someone like Marie who actually tries to be a part of the team. Matt and Keaton seem to be leaning Marie though. I’m going to try to push BC into committing against John without being too vocal either way myself. If Marie winds up going, it’s not the end of the world, but I’d really like to see John gone.

Also, a swap would be great right about now pls and ty

Sooooo I have an idol... a legacy advantage... a majority alliance... and our tribe won immunity... I think I’m the most powerful player in the game right now... let’s just stay that way!

I just sent in to create the Four of a Kind alliance which is me, Dennis, Charlie, and Sharky. Sharky and I named our duo alliance. I feel that Sharky is genuine to were I trust that he does want to work together. I still want to bond with Brian because I really like him. Nicole is mostly offline so idk. Our conversation like stopped.

So apparently the hosts want me to make one of these so I will. Not much to talk about since im in the majority and we aren't going to tribal. Bryce is presumably going next although he is good at challenges and appreciates Travis Scott. But according to Nathan he tried to target me so ya know.

So my phone is gone... this is sad and for now I have no way of getting it back so I am not quitting until I get voted out but I am not giving up.

So I’m shook I survived the first vote and we won thank god. I’m so happy for Nathan he really stood up for me last round and I’ve got his back no matter what now! I’m just hoping that Bryce isn’t angry with me for the cole vote oops

I thought I was clever. I was going to let other people take charge of this vote, let someone who cared more about who got voted out decide who goes. No need to get blood on my hands this early, right?

well APPARENTLY we're all so fucking bright that we all had the same great idea. none of us are going to dare suggest we have a preference here, and we're going to sit around until late tonight going "ya idk im fine with whatever". because that's what survivor's all about.

at least Keaton's hinting aggressively that he prefers to vote Marie here. if he were a little more active he'd be a lock for my favorite on the tribe.

Why I get paranoid: I thought why not share why I’m paranoid when I play games... Survivor is a very cut throat killer game and when thinking about how to control that part to me to where I can be cut throat with no regrets. I turn that on at merge and cut away the paranoia because I simply know that once merge hits there is some respect to everyone left in so I feel a bit more comfortable making the plays I do but before merge it’s kind of stressful... fun fact about me is I never have gotten premerge in an official group game. So in a sense I guess I’m paranoid because the pressure is on premerge and merge is where I really start to pull it together because if I go out there’s simply no reason to really care what place I get.

So, some developments. First of all me and Dennis feel like we've cracked a part of the puzzle on the search thing, as the wording was the same in two different things we found. Praying that Dennis gets and advantage. Imagine if we held all the powers by day 5 hahahaha.

Also, Dennis told me Maynor wants to make an alliance with me him and Sharky. I do feel good about this but would rather have Brian involved tbh. Despite this, me and Brian talked and I feel good about my relationship with him. He's a really nice guy!

Dennis didn't get anything on the hunt.. boooo. I am kinda wondering whether he's lying to me, cos I don't really understand why he tried to talk 4 times when there was another option... idk I trust him but I hope he's not hiding any advantage from me.

The alliance also got made. Good to feel comfortable in a group tbh

So happy we won the challenge!! I was a high scorer in this challenge, maybe I need to tone it down, don't want to seem a threat lol!!

I am a little bit worried about having told Sharky about the idol. Idk if I can trust him yet. It felt kinda awkward when I promised him I'd share the idol with him, I am genuine about that but I hope he sees that.

I have no idea what’s happening this vote so I’m gonna vote Keaton because he’s the one I’ve talked to the least and hopefully I don’t get voted out ughhh

John is voted out 4-1-1.