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dnangelic · 7 months

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A quick and dirty RP policy guide

Bold all that apply to you and your blog. Italics if you’re on the fence about something. Either reblog or repost. Feel free to add anything I may have missed in the appropriate category, or recategorize something that is in the wrong place!

My blog is ______

Open to all

Semi-selective

Selective

Moderately Selective

Highly selective

Exclusive ( ^ idc for any of these labels for myself tbh whats below is more important🏃‍♂️ )

Only going to RP with mutuals

Mostly going to RP with mutuals ( if you have a sideblog that's fine! )

Indie

Affiliated with a group

Spoilers free (it's a 30 year old series nobody pays attn to anymore though??? dark's been dead for over 10 slutty slutty years 😭 laksjlkdjg)

Spoilers tagged

Spoilers mostly tagged

I will RP with ______

Any fandom

Most fandoms (there are a few i'm uncomfortable with!)

Only fandoms I know

Mostly fandoms I know

Only people in my fandom (aslkdjf all five of them?? 🥺)

OCs

OCs with no fandom ties

OCs who are related to/know my character in their backstory

Only one version of any particular character

People who have the same muse as me

People who do not have a rules page

Multimuse blogs

People in RP groups

Indie RPers

When RPing, I like to use _______

Paragraphs

Shorter forms of text (i get very bored of single one-liner exchanges very fast!)

*Action* (dark will text like this. errybody watch out for teh glompz XD sorry)

Icons

Gifs

Gif icons

Formatted text

Whatever my partner is using

My own style regardless of my partner’s reply ( i'll usually match paragraph structure + text size of my partner but very rarely i can't be bothered alsdkjlg. )

I will ship with _______

No one

Anyone

Chemistry

Select ships

OCs

Others of my own muse (this goes for dark x daisuke, not just dai x dai (or dark+dark) too. i don't do any of that romantically ever ❌)

Crossovers with characters from different fandoms

Only one version of a particular character

One person in my main verse

Multiship, all ships independent of each other & main ship

One main/canon ship within my main verse

My blog WILL contain ______ in its content

Fluff

Light fluff

Angst

Gore

Violence

Smut

Blood

Torture

Shipping

Death

Dark humor

Cheating

Assault

I will follow ______ back

Everyone

Only some people

Most people

Only people in my fandom

Every RP blog

Only people I actively wish to RP with

People who do not post a lot of OOC (i love ppl who can't stop talking ooc abt their muses actually, but i don't like too much random irrelevant content, esp if it's untagged)

People whose posts I am comfortable with on my dashboard

To RP with me, you should _______

Follow back

Answer an open

Message me OOC (i'm very very spotty and slow/negligent with ooc messages due to my bad eye health/short free time timeframes so it helps to skip small talk if you message me specifically through ims or discord!)

Message me IC (i try to at least get my inbox completely free and clean asap, so asks are always your best bet if u want the fastest response to something!)

Make a starter (as long as we're mutuals, random starters are completely ok! tag me in whatever whenever. )

Answer my starter

Send in a meme

Like a starter call (i don't usually reblog memes or make starter calls! i do try to like others' calls though and sometimes send in memes or random unprompted asks! i often respond IC-ly a lot to replies on my posts! if you reply to a reply i make on your post IC-ly, (or otherwise tbh) i will probably turn it into a proper interaction thread!)

Plot with me

Other:

I practice reblog karma with memes

I expect reblog karma with memes

I expect my rules/about to be read

I always read the rules/about before following/interacting

If you follow me, I would like my triggers tagged

I expect all smut to be beneath a read-more

I am multi-muse (i kind of am, kind of am not, but i don't reaaaally consider myself one due to the bizarre way dark and daisuke.... well. work. 'i don't get it' appearances and superficials aside they're genuinely the same character, have the same motivations, conflicts and inner feelings about themselves, bonding with one is bonding with the other, relationships or dynamics can potentially end up repeating if you treat them separately as a duo instead of a whole single unit, which is ehhh to me. if that makes sense!)

I do not wish for my OOC posts to be reblogged

I do not wish for my threads to be reblogged by those not involved

I expect post length effort to be matched

I expect icons/gifs to be used in a reply if I have used them

I don’t expect post length to be matched, but I will try to match your own.

I am patient when waiting for replies and expect the same courtesy. (you can also just drop stuff whenever forever! i dont mind at all. alternatively if there's something you want to see moved along, feel free to tell me you're dying to continue a certain thread/scenario and i'll push it to the top of my priorities✨)

#tagmeme.#GOOD MORNING. HAPPY VDAY EVERYBODY.#ill be around for my inbox as soon uhhh as i can #which might not be soon at all dkjgk #but like every day i will Try

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ellavaday · 2 years

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weekly dose of screaming into the void about dres2 and the wow subtitles (this week dres reminds me that i am what? a fucking nerd, literature edition... also like... this is snatch game so please only click the read more if you are prepared for a lengthy read and if you want to witness my not so slow descent into madness)

that title card about veronica forqué 💔 [i will be a sap about this later in this post, be prepared, that was a threat]

estrella saying 'bring in the poppers' when they're getting out of drag after reading the mirror message should have been 'long live poppers' (viva los poppers)

i am in love w juriji's dress and boots when she gets into the workroom 🥰 (dresses skirts and boots is literally all i wear ofc i'm obsessed)

for this week's dosage of sexual harassment directed at the pitcrew:

when the pitcrew gets in, estrella says hit me with the baguette in the face not feed me the baguette (although i doubt she'd be opposed to that either)

supremme asking them if they like this version of the man with the sack: the sack man is the hispanic version of the bogeyman (the monster diamante did for ep 2 in the day of the beasts runway)

sethlas talking about the pitcrew's sacks... should be package and when she asks who does she have to pray to, not beg, it's a close enough translation in sentiment but definitely a v different verb

when sharonne is messing with the hair of the pitcrew, estrella doesn't say 'check his hair', she's prompting her to pull his hair

supremme saying 'estáis como muy salidas, no?' in the subs is translated as 'they're excited' but estar/ser salido/a is more like being cheeky or randy/horny (in this case both... and it should be plural you not they bc she's talking to the cast not about them)

i think this is saying something about me but estrella demanding for a scroll purposefully sounds like innuendo (no prize for guessing what about) but my first thought was to search if it was an euphemism (it's not)

when it's diamante's turn to reach for a poem and supremme says 'que ordinaria' it does not mean 'just a typical/ordinary day', she's calling diamante an ordinaria (vulgar or uncouth... and when they're getting ready for the mini challenge later sethlas uses the same word to say she only has sexy stuff... 'solo tengo ordinarieces' means she only has vulgar clothes)

supremme also says empollar which is to study/cram yes but also ofc uses it bc it's close to polla (cock)

thank you once again dres for reminding me how much of a nerd i am... i did not even have to look this up, all the writers supremme quotes when explaining the mini challenge (antonio machado, antonio gala and gloria fuertes) are all lgbt

when venedita is complaining about learning the poem and doing her makeup... 'like an idiot' (como una desgraciada) should be 'like a miserable/hopeless person'

estrella in confessionals talks about having to recite the poem she uses 'sin chuleta' chuleta (chop... as in pork chop) is the word in spanish for cheat sheet

very fitting of them to do this mini challenge literally the same weekend that is book day (to those of you that participated in the glitterask; i've loved reading about all of your fav books and flowers💞)

onyx says estrella looks like carmen de mairena, mairena was a trans singer and actress from bcn that died last year

i have never in my life heard anyone talk about the perineum and the pyrenees in the same sentence i was screaming when sharonne said that 💀 (also onyx in that stupid bodysuit is2g hskhdkshsl)

the spanish literature lesson none of you asked for (mini challenge):

marina recites pablo neruda's poem number 15 from 20 poems of love and a desperate song (i am a basic bitch and my favorite poem ever written in spanish is his poem n⁰ 20 idc that neruda looks and sounds like a sleep paralysis demon.., and fun fact he was friends with lorca)

sharonne got gloria fuertes (feminist and lesbian icon from la generación del 50 and she is right you can't live not knowing of her)

sethlas got dulce maria loynaz (cuban poetress that got the literature cervantes award of 1992, she was fiercely apolitical which ostracized her after the cuban revolution but she chose to never leave the island, the last bit about her pussy was sethlas taking creative liberties 💀)

juriji got rafael alberti from la generación del 27 (arguably one of the best known writers of the silver age of spanish literature, he was also friends with lorca)

diamante got federico garcía lorca, gay literary symbol by excellence of spain, every queer person in this country that has ever picked up a book is obsessed with him, you get your lgbt card revoked otherwise (also a symbol against the francoist censorship and bestest boi who deserved much much better)

estrella got the baroque writer luis de góngora who was accused of being gay (and a jew) by his enemy and fellow writer francisco de quevedo but quevedo hated his guts, was both homophobic and antisemitic and in the late 14th and early 15th century you could be tried by the inquisition for being either of those so chances are we shall never know if he was either (he was a good deal more fun at parties than quevedo tho, that's for sure), the generation of 1927 (lorca, alberti, vicente alexaindre, damaso alonso, pedro salinas, miguel hernandez...) were inspired by gongora and they got the name of their literary movement (la generación del 27) as a homage bc it was the tricentennial of góngora's death

i have not a clue of what are onyx or venedita reciting... google says onyx did don juan tenorio (which is a play not a poem) and that vene did gloria fuertes but i can't find an actual match for whatever it is they are saying; good for onyx winning the mini challenge though (@ estrella coming for jota and her shawl last ep and saying onyx didn't do that well in the mini challenge in this ep... why so salty girl?)

(literature lesson over)

in the confessional where onyx talks during her part of the mini challenge the subs said 'it's food' she actually says 'i've eaten' as in she did actually catch popcorn with her mouth (in spanish it should say he comido instead of es comida... i guess it's a typo so it got translated wrong)

ALSO i did not know this but venedita mentions a sabrina when her nipple shows, it's the same sabrina the judges mention from last episode when onyx was walking the runway that i did not understand: they were talking about the italian singer sabrina salerno (she became well known because during her nye performance of 1987 her breast got out of her costume by accident on national tv)

when supremme is telling onyx she won the sex toys and supremme says 'now this is poetry' and onyx answers 'by zorilla' it's a wordplay; josé zorrilla was a romantic poet (and the writer of el tenorio) but also zorra (diminutive: zorrilla) means slut (so onyx is literally saying slut poetry) ((a zorrilla is also a skunk btw))

the guests of snatch game this season are jedet (a trans singer and actress, she is one of the actresses that play la veneno in the tv series written by the javis) and eva hache (a comedian, actress and tv hostess) and the actress that is the guest judge in the mainstage is maria leon (i think her best known role outside of spain was for playing puri, the psychotic villain in la casa de las flores for s2 and 3)

SNATCH GAME CHARACTERS

and references made about snatch game in general because i refuse to talk about all the references one by one, you have afreakingchorizo in the dres subreddit for that, rip them, i salute their work, but i would quite literally die rather than enumerate every reference one by one:

when diamante said she was doing rupaul i immediately had war flashbacks to trixie in as3 😬 and i was right, she did a very thick english speaker attempting broken spanish accent that was very good but literally she could have used so many memeable quotes but didn't ('its chocolate' most recently -too recently-, sure, but like 'now available on itunes'? the cackling laugh? literally any of the shows stock phrases?)

marina is doing antonia dell'atte, a retired italian top model and tv host that lives in spain since the 90s (i literally know nothing about this woman other than her name and that general consensus seems to be that she is uncle colm from derry girls levels of 'talk non stop' so that airport thing was very accurate)

sethlas is the socialité carmen lomana; she's a couture collector, the daughter of a banker and the widow of a rich chilean industrial designer who died in 1999, since his death she has been frequently the subject of gossip press about her sentimental life and she's made guest appearances in shows as a solid d list celebrity; she is the sister of a far-right political party member (that she does allegedly not condone... anymore) and her name cropped up in the panama papers scandal; sethlas didn't really do her or her voice at all well and i think she would have been much better off with aless gibaja (the other character she had)

juriji is isabel, la vecina de valencia; las vecinas de valencia (literally the valencian neighbors) are two neighbors, isabel and vicenta, that lived next to each other in a building of calle estrella in the city of valencia; they've been part of spanish pop culture and valencian folklore for 15 years since they became viral for a tv show called callejeros; they don't like each other (to put it mildly) and there's a video that went viral in which isabel dressed with trash bags and another well known meme inspired by them in which vicenta called isabel puta and isabel defended herself for not being anything of the sort (the way isabel says that has been quoted and parodied ad nauseum in spanish tv, most famously in paquita salas, which btw, is a fountain of spanish pop culture references) if you speak spanish i recommend this article and twitter thread of isabel's son explaining their story bc it's kind of long (and not particularly nice); she messed up a few of the meme quotes which was a bit of a shame but they were close enough, she could have been sagittaria levels of funny for this one, fell a bit short but we'll take her isabel <3

estrella is paquita salas who is the main character from a netflix show of the same name created by the javis; the character is a woman played by man [brays efe] for humorous purpose (belén cuesta also stars in it as magui which is the same actress that plays milagritos in the holy camp movie) ((i don't know if you've noticed, but estrella is like... a massive fan of the javis cinematic universe, just in case that wasn't glaringly obvious lmao)); the series is about how paquita salas is an out of touch talent agent who used to be at the top of her industry in the 90s but times have changed and she hasn't and now her agency is struggling to find new clients and keep the ones it already has; the show is about her trying to reinvent herself and finding new talent to manage when her most famous client abandons her; the show is literally an enciclopedia of spanish pop culture references and fountain of memes from 2016 to 2019 and estrella did okay but definitely not as well as she could and she kept talking about Puente Viejo (i do think playing someone literally every lgbt person in this country could quote in their sleep is a tall order but meh... i wonder about the logistics of this one bc she's a fictional character but i mean, if dela could play maggie smith in downtown abbey i guess estrella can play paquita 🤷‍♀️)

venedita is idiot and COVID negationist extraordinaire, the gay musician miguel bosé, he's played the drag queen that imitates marisa paredes' character for a living and fucks her daughter in the almodovar movie of high heels in the 90s; his parents (a rich bullfighter and a former beauty pageant queen) were friends with hemingway and picasso, his godfather was the italian film director luchino visconti and he took dancing lessons in the 70s in ny, paris and london from some of the most renown teachers, just imagine the massive entitlement and wealth this man was born into and then cultivated over the years as a musician (idc he's lgbt; he is lgbt and a massive prick😬) venedita started slow but did excellent as far as i'm concerned, referencing famous songs and being an overall creep (yes this post is my slander piece😊💖) the one reference i will talk about from him is an interview he did in which he explained that he has been having voice issues bc he started to consume 2 grams of cocaine daily plus weed and molly after he lost the custody battle for his four kids with his ex and that's only bc the two grams reference is literally all over the episode

onyx is juana la loca (joanna of castilla, better known as joanna the mad); the daughter of isabella the first of castilla and ferdinand the second of aragon (saying that in english almost gave me a brain hemorrhage bc i am really not used to saying those names normally let alone in english, the marriage of isabella and ferdinand united what is mostly understood as modern day spain for the first time between their kingdoms); if you don't want the 14th century history lesson in european royal lineology you can skip down but for those of you vaguely interested: ferdinand and isabella were the king and queen that financed christopher columbus genocidal expedition that was originally looking for an alternative route to the indies and ended up "discovering" america and their daughter, joanna, was married to phillip the first (known as phillip the handsome or phillip the fair) the archduke of austria; it was said she went mad for love and after being declared insane she was confined to a royal covent in a town called tordesillas, claims about her mental health have been *widely* disputed since declaring her insane benefited her father and her husband far too much for it to be a coincidence; her father (ferdinand) ruled regent over her in castile till he died and after he died she inherited both the kingdoms of castile and aragon from him; by that time however her son was already ruling both of those in practice... along with the rest of the holy roman empire plus colonies // history lesson over since she's a public domain character whose speech and mannerisms aren't well known, onyx could have done literally anything and most people were disappointed she went with just barely slightly off behavior instead of going unhinged which... eeeeh 😬 i think playing her in the first place was the mistake here, not deciding to not play her unhinged

SHARONNE IS DOING VERONICA FORQUÉ MY BELOVED. okay i need a moment, veronica forqué was a 4 times goya award winning actress that took her own life in december of last year after a very hard battle with depression; in an actual show of respect i definitely did not expect, the media has been actually tasteful about it, she had done a number of tv appearances filmed little before her passing that have been released posthumously but nobody has used her guest appearances for publicity even if they've all kept her participations (or mentions like DRES2 does for this episode); she was an actress in two almodovar movies (kika and what have i done to deserve it), she was personally chosen by kubrick to dub shelly duvall in the spanish dub of the shinning and she was a god damned delight and i am glad sharonne does imitations for a living, i could talk at length about every reference she used but this thing is already long enough, in a general note she references: the time veronica was in masterchef celebrity and asked to be called vero instead of veronica bc she wanted to be differentiated from the character the public expects from her and her fame, her interview in viva la vida with the spanglish and the drinking and a few of her movie characters; it was incredibly well done

subtitle bs during snatch game and misc refs:

or basically: how sharonne carried this snatch game by herself

when supremme introduces jedet she mentions la alhambra, a palace in granada, it's one of the most famous and best conserved palaces of islamic architecture

when introducing eva hache supremme makes a ref to one of her stand up monologues

about the question for manel fuentes in las vegas; fuentes is a comedian and tv show host; sharonne as forqué has las vegas purposefully miswritten as 'las vergas' and that 'if you're in las vergas you have to suck them' verga = 🍆 (the subs said 'if you're in the virgins you got to fuck them' which keeps the sentiment of the og joke)

cristina almeida is a leftist spanish politician that is now retired, the joke here is that veronica was a bit behind in politics

when diamante says polla frita it's translated as spotted dick bc it's basically the same pun in english; only in spanish it's with fried chicken (pollo frito)

when sharonne said 'que ocurrente es nova' the subs translated it as 'thats lovely' but it's a meme quote from a tv personality called nova that used to fight with la veneno in a bunch of talk shows (and i fucking ascended, literally it would be 'nova is so witty')

the rhyme doesn't work in english but sharonne saying dovimanubrio y su mango del danubio would be 'dovi-handlebar (slang for 🍆) and her handle from/of the danube'

marina saying zorrear en tiempos revueltos is a reference to amar en tiempos revueltos (to love in turbulent times; the name of a historical soap opera)

el chocolate espeso y las cosas/cuentas claras is a popular saying (lit. thick chocolate and the record straight) basically means 'set things as they should be'

in the workroom:

when asked how are they feeling today venedita said each day more scared (cagada lit. shitting herself) not shitty (she's nervous but not feeling bad)

in the runway mainstage jfc i can't believe i'm almost done writing this 💀

when supremme is presenting the judges ana says burda sketch paper... that's a brand, like loctite is a super glue brand estrella mentions when talking about glueing down her wigs with last episode, it's a case of the brand becoming synonym for the thing, like tupperware or hoovers (btw i'm?? obsessed w ana's eye makeup today)

maría león says they (the drag queens) have to teach her how to estirar el pepe to become one of them; el pepe = the pussy, she's basically saying they have to teach her how to step her pussy up

when marina enters the runway; ana mentions rosaura (a doll... like a barbie but tall af, their entire selling point is that they're about 100cm/3ft tall)

diamante's look is based on a song named muñeca de trapo (lit. rag doll) from a band called la oreja de van gogh, ana sings part of the lyrics too

when sethlas is on the runway, avon is calling your door was the avon slogan in spanish that i still refuse to look up if it's the same in english, the drag collector is a word play for the deb collector in spanish (el cobrador > el codragdor)

when onyx enters the runway; ambrossi mentions 'the girl from celia' celia was a 1992 show based on a series of kid books whose main character was a 7yo girl from the 30s and whose main actress retired from public life after the short series bc she decided she was too shy for showbusiness (she was the subject of one of those 'whatever happened to...?' articles in which she is referred as 'the girl from celia'); calvo's joke is 'where is she from? almuñécar' is changed to dollywood to keep with the same pun muñeca = doll

sharonne comes out as one of these things; when calvo says he thought it was supremme, supremme actually says she's got too little volume to be her, not too much like the subs said; sharonne then reveals into a look based on teela from he man and masters of the universe; ambrossi calls her xena (and calvo calls her the lesbian princess which yes); when she's leaving, the quote tengo un poderío en el coño metido (by the power of her pussy in the subs) is from carmen de mairena

when juriji enters and calvo says porce-lana del rey is ofc a wordplay for porcelain; ana says in the subs that juriji's turned her life around (darle vueltas a la vida) but darle vueltas a algo (to turn smth around) in spanish is to think/overthink something too much (in this case about her life bc she looks disoriented)

venedita; as soon as she gets in ambrossi quotes a song from chayanne named torero, the judges say made in spain (emphasis in the pain dfjjd) i am obsessed w venedita and w this look; the cordobese hat she has, it should be a cordovan hat (bc that's their name in english not cordobese, wrong domonym, they're ofc hats typical from cordoba in andalusia) but outside of spain they're just known as wide brimmed hats (... or if you're me, el zorro hats); when she's leaving, in the subs calvo says 'she's born with it she's a von dash' which is not what he says at all; 'es que es buena... es todo von dash' is a word play for 'es que es buena... es todo bondad' (she's good, she's made of kindness/she's too kind) bondad = goodness/kindness. As a bonus; the surname of venedita herself, von dash, is a pun on bondage (and bc one of her name inspirations is dita von tease) so i am a bit disappointed they didn't try to make a pun with bondage on the subtitles or between kind/kink

nothing for estrella, that was all accurate enough, si al durum y a los kebabs

when supremme calls them all chochonas mias, it's a pun for chocho = pussy/cunt and i agree they all look out of a horror film dgjgdssgk

when they're waiting for the judges deliberation and they ponder who's going to be on the lipsync w diamante, the subs say sethlas is hopeful but what she actually says is 'me da corage' which is more like it angers/saddens me

'mira lo que ha hecho la guarra de tu hija' said by estrella is from the spanish dub of the exorcist

and that's all, no more references for this one

as soon as arrasando started i knew diamante would kill it. it's thalia. c'mon. but onyx did wonderfully that was extremely close one for me i would have hated either of them to go home ngl i am however going to miss my favorite alien from madrid and i am sorry but everyone was just barely okay in snatch game (except sharonne and venedita who were outstanding and juriji who did pretty good)

but next week we get chori in the ball challenge 🥰

#i tried to use the bolded texts as title dividers bc i *refuse* to make this longer than it already is by using tumblr huge title fonts #personal #drag race espana #drag race españa #rpdr spain #sandra's translator era

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years

Text

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘

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