#I know I've said this before but for all the talk of how fandom is 'revolutionary' and 'an escape' it does not feel like either of those
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all yours ; tyler owens
fandom:Â twisters
pairing:Â tyler x reader
summary:Â after being best friends and chasing storms with tyler for years, one night changes everything... now you're staring at a pregnancy test with two pink linesâand just as you're working up the nerve to tell him, tyler announces to the world that he never wants to settle down or have kids
notes:Â i'm sorry? i want to say i have no words but apparently... i have nearly 15k of them right here!!! i don't know who this is for, i lowkey feel like it will flop because it's long and angsty, but please let me know what you think if you read this!!! i've been working on it on and off for a while, so i am very glad to finally get it posted!
warnings:Â swearing, angst (but happy ending), pregnancy, a lot of crying, very brief mention of abortion, very brief discussion about the possibility of losing the baby, talk about sex (18+ ONLY PLEASE), a bit of horniness, and just a lot of emotions!!! (please let me know if i missed anything)
disclaimer: i am not pregnant and have never been pregnant. all this information comes from quick google searches, and things i've read in books. so i'm very if it's wrong or dumb. please don't come for me!
word count: 14818
Youâve known Tyler Owens since you were ten.Â
Youâve been chasing storms with him for nine years, and hopelessly in love with him for eight.Â
Youâve laughed as he lost seven cowboy hats to tornados, and helped him replace six shattered windshields.Â
Youâve loved him through five of his lousy girlfriends and four of your own doomed boyfriends.Â
Youâve triedâand failedâto tell him how you feel three times.Â
Youâve kissed him twice.Â
And youâve slept with him once.Â
Once. Exactly three weeks ago.Â
You were both drunkâthough you were probably pretending to be more gone than you really wereâand lonely. Sure, youâd kissed before that nightâonce, years ago, on a dare. But that night, the second kiss happened as you stepped out of the bar. It was misting lightly, streetlights casting a glow, and Tyler looked so damn good as heâdrunkenlyâtold you that you looked beautiful. How were you supposed to resist that?Â
Back at the motel, you tried to go your separate ways. You even made it to your room alone. You were just about to reach for your vibrator, hoping to ease the ache low in your belly, when there was a knock at the door.Â
You knew who it was before you even opened it.Â
Tyler.Â
You let him inâbecause of course you didâand he was on you in seconds. There was no way you were going to push him off. Youâve been in love with him for the better part of a decade.Â
It was hot and desperate. All teeth and tongue, and handprints seared into your skinâones you know youâll never forget the feeling of. You were both so fucking wrecked there was no stopping it.Â
Not even when the condom obviously broke while he was putting it on.Â
Not even when something deep in your chest told you this was a bad idea.Â
But now? Three weeks laterâyou wish youâd had more restraint.Â
Sure, it was awkward the next morningâafter Tyler snuck out of your room at three a.m., thinking you hadnât noticed. It stayed awkward for about a week, with neither of you daring to talk about it. Youâd promised yourself you wouldnât bring it up. It was obviously just one night for him. Maybe he was just curious. Youâve been friends for so long. A lot of friends have slept together at least once⊠right?Â
But even in that painfully awkward week of trying to relearn how to be friends, you couldnât quite regret it.Â
Because eventually, he cracked a joke. Then you said something sarcastic. And although there was still a hint of something more simmering under the surface, things almost felt normal again.Â
Almost.Â
Itâs only now that you regret itâeverything.Â
Right now, as you stare at the two pink lines on the stick beside the sink, your vision blurred with tears, and your stomach roiling with nausea.Â
The harsh crack of knuckles against the bathroom door startles you, sending your heart leaping into your throat.Â
âYou alright in there?ïżœïżœ Lily calls through the wood. âItâs been like ten minutesâIâm getting worried. Do I need to break down the door?âÂ
You swallow the lump in your throat, willing your voice to come out steady. âY-Yeah, Iâm all good.âÂ
Thereâs a beat of silence before Lily speaks again, her voice lower this time. âAre you sure? You donât sound good.âÂ
You shake your head and hastily wipe the wetness from your cheeks. Then you snap a photo of the pregnancy test before tossing it into the trashâthis is just a gas station bathroom. No oneâs tracing that stick back to you unless they run a DNA test, and thatâs not likely.Â
Itâs not like you plan on going missing. Just⊠away. For a while.Â
You splash your face with cool water and stare at your reflection in the mirror until youâre convinced you look close enough to normal. Then you square your shoulders, take a deep breath, and open the bathroom door.Â
Itâs only Lily waiting thereâthank Godâbut sheâs already watching you with sharp, perceptive eyes.Â
âYou good?âÂ
You nod once, forcing a smile. âNever better. Sorry. Lady stuff.âÂ
Technically not a lie. Still, you cringe at the way it comes out. Youâre not someone who shies away from saying things plainlyâespecially not something as basic as a damn period.Â
Her eyes narrow, but she doesnât push.Â
âAlright. Letâs get going. Tyler said weâre only twenty minutes out from a decent-sized town. Should be able to find good food and a motel where we donât have to share rooms.âÂ
You nod again, not trusting yourself to laugh or offer a sarcastic remark. You just walk past her, the fake smile still fixed to your face, and head for the door.Â
Twenty minutes later, youâre climbing out of the RV in a motel parking lot. Tylerâs truck is parked beside the reception office, his hat on the dashboard and Boone waiting in the front seat. Dani and Dexter walk ahead of you, muttering about something they saw pop up on the radar earlier, and Lily is rummaging around in the back seat of Tylerâs truckâher butt sticking out the passenger doorâlooking for the headphones she lost yesterday.Â
Your heart aches at the thought of leaving, throbbing dully behind your sternum. Youâre not sure if the nausea swirling in your gut is from the idea of walking away from your friendsâyour familyâor because of your newly discovered⊠condition. Either way, you feel sick. And you need space. Time to think. To breathe.Â
Once everyone has a room, you lug your few belongings up to the second floor and collapse onto the bed. You text Lily, telling her you feel sick sickâperiod painsâand that youâre going to skip dinner. You ask her to tell the others for you, because you canât stomach lying to their faces.Â
You spend the next few hours on your laptop, reading everything you can about pregnancy. You scroll through pages about what happens to your body, how your life is going to change. You read about complications, risks, even abortion.Â
Itâs strange, really. Youâve always been practical, logical. And this doesnât seem like the practical choice. But you knew the second you saw those two lines that you were going to keep it.Â
Call it maternal instinct. Or just plain insanity. Either way, your mind is made up.Â
Now you just need a plan.Â
Most people donât announce their pregnancy until twelve weeksâyou know that muchâso youâre giving yourself twelve weeks to sort your shit out.Â
First, you need to leave. Youâll make up some excuse about a sick family member and tell the crew your mom needs you immediately. Tyler will try to come with youâcall it a detour or a bonus road tripâso youâll have to convince him your mom only wants to see you. No one else.Â
Then youâll leave for... an indefinite stretch. Youâre not going straight to your momâs. Youâll hole up in a hotel halfway home, see a doctor, get the blood tests, the shots, the supplementsâall the crap youâre supposed to do.Â
Once your head is on straighter and youâve got a handle on things, youâll start looking for an apartment. Something short-term, just in case⊠well, in case you lose the baby. At least then youâll have somewhere to crash and recover before deciding what comes next. It feels morbid, sure, but youâre not a total daydreamer. Life can be brutal, and you know better than to think youâll be spared.Â
But assuming things go wellâassuming you hit that twelve-week mark after moving inâthatâs when youâll start telling people. Youâll tell your mom first, maybe find a therapist and tell them too. And then... Tyler.Â
The moment his name crosses your mind, your body reacts. You jump up from the motel bed and stumble into the tiny bathroom, hunching over the toilet and gagging like youâre going to throw up. But nothing comes upâyour stomach is empty. You know this isnât the pregnancy making you sick. Itâs the thought of telling him.Â
It feels cruel, waiting three whole months before telling the father. But you canât bring yourself to do it any sooner. You know this isnât what Tyler wants. Especially not with you. What happened between you was a one-time thingâa fun night, a way to blow off steam. It wasnât meant to change everything.Â
So youâll wait. Make sure itâs real. Make sure itâs sticking. Plain and simple. Harsh? Maybe. But you need time to figure yourself out before dropping a bomb on him. And by the time you do, itâll be six months to impact. Give or take.Â
You have no idea how heâll react, but you know it wonât be like one of those social media videos where the dad cries and jumps for joy. Noâthis will be very different. Which is exactly why youâre not telling him for at least a month or two. Youâll figure out exactly how far along you are once you see a doctor.Â
You take a deep breath and snap your laptop shut. Time to get some sleep. Youâve got a full day of driving tomorrow, and youâre going to need the energy.Â
-Â
âWhat?â Tyler drops his bacon back onto the plate, staring at you wide-eyed across the diner table. âIf youâre going home, then weâre all-âÂ
âNo, Tyler,â you interrupt, sighing as you stare down at the table. You canât bring yourself to meet his eyes. âShe said just me. I know you want to help, but I donât know how long Iâll have to stay. Iâll call as soon as I get there and keep you updated. I justâshe sounded really fragile, alright? I donât want to overwhelm her.âÂ
It doesnât feel like that much of a lie. Youâre not talking about your momâyouâre talking about yourself. At least, thatâs how you justify it to your guilty conscience.Â
âYou sure?â Lily asks, leaning forward beside Tyler. âWe donât have to go see her. We can just come to town, hang out nearby. We donât mind staying a week or so.âÂ
You take a deep breath, eyes locked on your untouched plate of plain toast and fried eggs. âIt might not be a week,â you say, bracing yourself. âIt could be a couple of months.âÂ
âMonths?â Dani echoes, her coffee cup clattering against the table.Â
Tyler looks stunned, frozen in place. His expression is unreadableâshock, maybe disbelief, etched into every line of his face. His lips are slightly partedâlips you havenât stopped thinking about, hot on your skinâand his brows pinch together. His cheeks are flushed, but not with embarrassment. He looks... unsure. Concerned.Â
âWhat are we going to do without you for a couple months?â Lily asks, her eyes wide.Â
You wave a hand, trying to sound nonchalant. âYouâll be fine. Iâll only be a phone call away. If I can come back earlier, I will. But right now, I really need to be there for... for my mom.âÂ
God, youâre a terrible liar this morning.Â
âWhen do you need to leave?â Tyler asks, his voice low and flat.Â
You swallow hard, still staring at your toast. âToday.âÂ
A wave of protests, questions, and complaints breaks outâeveryone but Tyler. He stays silent, still watching you like heâs trying to piece something together. Like youâre a puzzle he didnât realise needed solving.Â
He looks at you like he sees straight through the lie. His green eyes donât blink, and it makes your stomach churn.Â
For the next half hour, you lie and deflect as best you can. You keep your head down, your answers short. No promises, no explanations. Breakfast turns into a full-blown protest, your friends more upset than you expected by your sudden departure. But no matter how hard they try, nothing could convince you to stay.Â
You canât.Â
Back at the motel, you pack your things. Youâd already asked Dexter to drive you to the nearest car rental placeâhe grumbled but agreed. Now comes the part youâre dreading.Â
The goodbyes.Â
To them, this is temporaryâa month or two, maybe. But you know better. This is something else. Something longer. More permanent.Â
Moisture stings your eyes as you zip your duffel shut. Your nose burns, and this time, you donât stop the tears from falling.Â
âHey,â Tylerâs voice startles you, and you realize in your rush to get into the room, you hadnât fully shut the door.Â
You sniff and wipe your cheeks, keeping your back to him. âHey.â You clear your throat. âWhatâs up?âÂ
He lets out a short, disbelieving laugh. âYouâre seriously asking me that?âÂ
You donât respond. You just keep your head down and continue stuffing the last of your things into your backpack.Â
He sighs as the door clicks shut behind him. A few steps bring him closer, and you can almost feel his warmth hovering just a few feet behind you.Â
âLook,â he says gently, âIâm not going to press you about whatâs really going on. But itâs obvious somethingâs got you rattled. I just want you to know that Iâm here for you. We all are. Whatever it is.âÂ
You close your eyes, fresh tears slipping down your cheeks.Â
âIâm worried,â he continues. âThis isnât you. Cutting and running like this? I know you. I know your family. This is something else. And Iâm really damn worried.âÂ
âItâs fine, Ty,â you say, your voice catching in your throat, the words barely a whisper.Â
âNo, itâs not.â He steps closer, and now his warmth is unmistakableâhis presence pressing in, impossible to ignore. âYou donât have to tell me everything, but I need you to promise me youâll be okay. That youâll come back.âÂ
You drop the sweater youâve been folding and refolding, letting it fall from your hands. He reaches out, his fingers wrapping gently around your bicep, coaxing you to turn toward him. Then he lifts your chin with one curled finger, forcing you to meet his eyes.Â
You can barely make out his face through the tearsâhot and heavy, falling faster than you can blink them away.Â
His voice cracks. âItâs not the same out there without you. You know that.âÂ
A sob breaks from your chest, and you fall forward. He catches you easily, arms strong and sure around your trembling frame. Pressed against him, for a moment it all feels like it might be okay. Like maybe this whole life-altering thing wonât change everything after all. Tyler makes you feel like you can handle anything. Like youâre more than human. Invincible, even.Â
Maybe thatâs why you fell in love with him in the first place.Â
But you canât stay in his arms forever. Youâre not even sure heâd be holding you if he knew the truthâif he knew you were the one holding the pin to the grenade that could blow his whole life to pieces.Â
âYouâre scaring the shit out of me, darlinâ,â he whispers into your hair.Â
You sniffle against his shirt, steadying your voice. âIâm okay. Itâs okay.âÂ
He slowly lets you go, giving you space to stand on your own again.Â
âI promise youâll see me again,â you say, trying to sound certain. âI promise Iâll be back once everythingâs... sorted.âÂ
His brows draw together like he wants to believe you but canât quite manage it. Still, he nods, swallowing whatever emotion is caught in his throat. Then he pulls you into one last hug, holding you tighter than before, like heâs afraid to let go.Â
You inhale deeplyâmaybe too deeplyâcommitting his scent to memory, as if you hadnât already. You memorise the way he holds you, the way your bodies fit together, and the quick, steady beat of his heart beneath your cheek.Â
You know youâll see Tyler again. One way or another.Â
But it wonât be the same. Nothing is the same anymore.Â
-Â
âYouâre both doing really well,â the doctor says, eyes scanning the computer screen. âYour baby is perfectly healthy, and everything about you is exactly where it should be for fourteen weeks.âÂ
You nod and give her a tight-lipped smile, gripping the ultrasound picture like a lifeline.Â
âAnd the bump isnât... too big?â you ask, trying not to sound completely clueless.Â
The doctor smiles warmly. âItâs perfect,â she assures you. âYouâre showing a little more than some women might at this stage, but everyoneâs different.âÂ
You nod again. âOkay, good.âÂ
âAny other concerns?â she asks after a moment.Â
âI donât think so.âÂ
âGood.â She pushes up from her chair and heads for the door. âIâll see you in four weeks.âÂ
You smile and nod once more. âThanks, doctor.âÂ
âNo worries. Andââ she pauses, brows pulling together slightly. âYou know you can bring the father to these appointments, right? Regardless of your relationship, heâs welcome. It might help ease some of the anxiety.âÂ
You blink quickly at the sudden sting in your eyesâfucking hormonesâand offer a watery smile. âThanks. Iâll... talk to him.âÂ
She gives you one last kind smile before shutting the door, leaving you alone in the pale-yellow hallway with nothing but spiralling thoughts.Â
Okay, so you havenât told Tyler... yet. But you plan to. As soon as you stop crying at everything and start acting like a functional adult. These hormones have wrecked youâjust like the internet said they would.Â
One minute, youâre sobbing over nothing. The next, youâre halfway to committing a felony. And then suddenly, youâre numb. Emotionally whiplashed. And the thought of telling Tylerâof seeing him againâdrags every human emotion you have straight to the surface.Â
Youâve talked to him a few times. The rest of the crew, too. Youâve spun some lies and danced around their questions. You spoke to your mom and made her promise to keep your secretâbecause you know Tylerâs tried calling her since you left. But you havenât yet mustered the courage to tell anyone else.Â
Itâs been exactly eight weeks since you left. You're running on borrowed time. You know theyâll come looking soon, and you canât let that happen. You need to go to them. To Tyler. You need to tell him the truthâyour wayâbefore it all blows up.Â
But first... you need a really big bowl of croutons. Just croutons. And if you donât get them soon, youâre going to kill someone.Â
Pregnancy is wild.Â
A few hours later, youâre back in your studio apartment, curled up on the lounge you bought last week, your laptop propped on your belly and a second bowl of croutons at your side. Your rĂ©sumĂ© is open, and youâre tweaking it for a few job applicationsâhoping to land something at a desk for at least a few months. You could use the extra money.Â
On the small TV across the roomâstill sitting on the floor because you donât have a table yetâYouTube is playing. More specifically, the live stream of a storm chaser you used to know. Someone who follows storms and interviews other chasers. Her name is Coreyâyouâve met her a few times, but sheâs never interviewed you. Sheâs always wanted Tyler, though. Everyone does. The man has... an effect on people.Â
Todayâs the day, apparently. She finally convinced him to do an interview. And to say youâre jealous of how close sheâs standing to him would be a laughable understatement.Â
Think pregnancy crying is bad? Try the horniness.Â
Ugh.Â
You can barely glance at a photo of Tyler without creaming your jeans. Just thinking about him twists your stomach into a knotâequal parts guilt and raw, desperate lust. Youâve thought about him way more than you should while touching yourself, and honestly? You donât even care.Â
Youâre not sure if itâs because heâs the father of the baby growing inside you or just because youâve been in love with him for years. Either way, everything is louder now. Sharper. Half the reason you havenât seen him again is because youâre not entirely sure you could stop yourself from tearing him apartâdevouring him the second heâs in front of you.Â
âFuck,â you sigh out loud, feeling that familiar ache low in your belly.Â
You need to calm down.Â
You shift your focus back to the Word doc on your laptop, trying to let Coreyâs high-pitched voice blur into the background as she asks Tyler about the storm they just chased. Itâs hard thoughâbecause then he speaks. And the second he does, his voice draws your attention like a magnet, sending shivers racing down your spine.Â
Youâd think after all these years of friendship, youâd be used to him by now.Â
âSo, Tyler,â Corey says, her bright blue eyes sparkling above a megawatt smile, ânow that weâve completely and totally hashed out that EF2, I think itâs time to move on to some live questions. Mind answering a few from the fans?âÂ
Tyler nods, the usual charming smirk tugging at his lips. âBring it on.âÂ
âAmazing.â Corey flips her auburn hair over her shoulder and holds up her phone. âFirst question: which tornado wrangler would be most likely to survive a horror movie?âÂ
Tyler chucklesâlow and rich, the kind of sound that somehow wraps around you even through the TV speakers. âDefinitely Boone, but not because heâs outsmarted anyone. Just pure dumb luck.âÂ
Corey giggles, and the sound literally makes you gag. Because pregnancy nausea? Not just limited to tastes and smells. Nopeâitâs upgraded to all five senses.Â
âOkay, next up,â she says, eyes dropping to her phone screen. âWhatâs your go-to road trip snack?âÂ
Tyler starts rubbing his hands together as he answers, but you donât register the words. You already know his favourite snacks. Youâve been buying them for him for years. Instead, you find yourself watching his handsâhis long fingers, the way he laces them together in front of his body. Those fingers you know can find magic inside you.Â
Your pulse thrums in your earsâand between your legs. Hot and heavy, making your breath catch in your throat.Â
Coreyâs pitchy laugh pulls you back. âNoted. Iâll be sure to bring sour worms to our next interview,â she says with a wink.Â
Tyler laughs politely and pretends to adjust his beltâsomething you know he only does when heâs uncomfortable.Â
Sucked in, Corey. He doesnât like you.Â
âAlright, Iâve got a slightly more serious one,â she says, tone shifting as she angles herself toward him. âThis oneâs come in from quite a few people, so I canât not ask it.âÂ
Tylerâs brows furrow and he nods once.Â
âObviously, the Tornado Wranglers have welcomed two new members recentlyâKate and Javi,â she says, referring to the two you met via video call a couple weeks ago. âBut fans have also noticed the absence of one particular chaser. Your partner in crimeâŠâ she pauses for dramatic effect. âWill she be back?âÂ
Your heart crawls into your throat. Tears burn at the corners of your eyesâso routine by now, you donât even bother blinking them back.Â
Tyler shifts uncomfortably and glances at the ground. Then he mutters something the mic doesnât quite catch. His shoulders go rigid, his jaw clenched as he struggles to find an answer.Â
It makes your chest ache.Â
âWellâuh,â he clears his throat, âwe donât usually get into personal stuff. We try to keep things focused on the storms. But, um...â His eyes are everywhere but the camera. âWe all have personal lives, and sometimes things come up. Unexpected things. But in short⊠yes. Sheâll be back. Weâre not sure when, but she will be.âÂ
The confidence in his voice rips a sob from your chest. You push your laptop off your stomach and sit up, arms wrapping protectively around the little bump low in your belly. To say you feel guilty about this whole thing is a gross understatement. You feel wretched. Each day you wake up knowing youâll find another excuse not to call Tyler, and each day you inch closer to hating yourself for it.Â
You need to stop being such a coward and just do it. He has every right to know whatâs going onânot just because heâs the father, but because heâs your best friend. These last two months have been the longest youâve ever gone without seeing him since you joined the chasers nearly a decade ago. And the distanceâphysical and emotionalâis chipping away at both of you.Â
You swipe the sleeve of your sweatshirt across your eyes and reach for your phone. Opening your chat with Tyler, you scroll through the brief exchange from a couple days ago about an EF3 theyâd been chasing. You start typing a messageâtrying to ask when you can see him without sounding too obvious.Â
But then Coreyâs voice cuts through the room, snagging your attention again. âSo, the fans want to know,â she says, âwhatâs next? What comes after storm chasing? Do you see yourself going back to school to become a qualified meteorologistâor maybe settling down? Starting a family?âÂ
Your breath catches in your throat. Your chest tightening until your lungs ache.Â
Tyler scoffs. âThereâs an after chasing?â he says, the words stabbing into you like pins into a voodoo doll. âChasing is it for me. Iâve worked too hard to get here, doing what I love. Nothingâs going to stop meâat least not until Iâm too old to drive my truck. And even then,â he laughs, âIâll find someone else to drive me into the eye of the storm.âÂ
Corey giggles and tips her head, teasing. âSo no dreams of settling down? No wife and kids someday?âÂ
Your heart slams against your ribs. Heat and nausea roll over you in waves.Â
âNo,â Tyler says. âI just donât see that for myself. Nothing feels as important to me as thisâthe storms, the research. Especially now, with Kateâsheâs incredibleâand Javi on the team, weâre doing real work in the name of science. I never want to stop. A family just doesnât fit into that. Itâs not what I want.âÂ
The words hit like a gut punch, knocking the breath clean out of you.Â
âThatâs not to say I wonât have a wife one day,â he adds. âIf I find someone who loves this as much as I do, then maybe. But kids? No. I know myself too wellâIâd resent anyone who took me away from what I really love. Which is chasing.âÂ
You bolt from the couch and rush into the bathroom, dropping to your knees in front of the toilet just in time to hurl up an unsettling amount of croutons. Tears blur your vision, and all you can hear is the pounding of your own pulse in your earsâand Tylerâs voice echoing in your head.Â
Itâs not what I want.Â
-Â
Your hands shake as you slide the mouse across the screen, clicking the answer button on the Skype call request. When Lilyâs grinning face pops upâjust Lilyâyou let out a sigh of relief.Â
âOh my goodness, hi,â she says, leaning toward the camera. âYou look... different. Like, good, but different. How do you look different from last week?âÂ
You let out a soft laugh and roll your eyes, one arm resting on the kitchen counter where the laptop is propped, the other hung protectively across your stomach below the counter. Youâre perched on the single barstool you picked up from a second-hand store last weekend, specifically for your weekly video calls with Lily. The couch wasnât cutting it anymore, and you canât exactly lie on your belly on the bed these days.Â
âMaybe Iâve been abducted by aliens and what youâre seeing now is just a bad clone,â you tease, deflecting.Â
She snorts. âWell, that would make sense, since thatâs the only thing I can think of that would keep the girl I know away from chasing. Like, seriously. Itâs been three months. Please tell me youâre coming back soon.âÂ
You sigh, eyes darting to the notepad where youâve scribbled your pre-planned excusesânot trusting yourself to think clearly on the fly.Â
âIâm sorry, Lils. I thought Iâd be back by now too, but with everything going on with the familyâitâs just been so stressful. And... I went to the doctor the other day. They think I could have a stress-induced stomach ulcer. Iâm on meds, and I feel okay, but it needs to be monitored.âÂ
Until you give birth to itâŠÂ
Lilyâs brow creases. âWhat? Seriously?âÂ
You nod slowly, avoiding her big brown eyes on the screen. âYeah, but itâs okay. Itâs not too seriousâitâs manageable. I just need to, uh... stay here and keep things steady for a while.âÂ
âCan we visit, then?â she asks. âEveryone misses you so much.âÂ
âAnd I miss you guys too,â you say quickly. âBut donât come all this way for me. Keep chasingâitâs the season. Besides, itâs kind of boring over here. Iâm just resting and helping out with family stuff. If you could actually help, Iâd say get over here, but thereâs really nothing to do except mope around.âÂ
She nods slowly, still looking a little unconvinced, but mostly reassured.Â
âBesides, I need you to keep sending me updates so I can live vicariously,â you add, trying to lift the mood. âHow was yesterdayâs chase?âÂ
Her face lights up, and she launches into a detailed rundown of what they got up to. You try to stay focused, to really listen, but she keeps mentioning Kateâs name beside Tylerâs, and your thoughts start spiralling.Â
Youâve met Kate and Javiâthe new wranglersâa couple of times now via video call. They seem lovely and super smart. You hadnât thought much of it. Until last night.Â
Youâd stupidly decided to watch one of Booneâs Instagram live videosâone where he and Tyler recapped the day over beers in a motel parking lot. You thought it might help ease the ache in your chest from missing them, but instead it twisted something sharp and jealous low in your gut.Â
Kate had been there too, sitting beside Tyler, who wore a dopey grin and kept glancing at her like she was magnetic. They were clearly comfortable with each otherâshe even rested her hand on his knee once or twice as she answered some of Booneâs questions about the science side of things. Tyler didnât adjust his belt. He didnât shift awkwardly or look away.Â
He looked at her like she belonged there.Â
The jealousy that coursed through you had been instant and overwhelming. Youâve dealt with your fair share of Tylerâs girlfriends and hookups, but youâve never seen him look at someone like that. Never once worried that maybe heâd find someone who didnât just make him forget youâbut replace you entirely.Â
Itâs your biggest insecurity, one you hate even admitting to yourself... Tyler doesnât need you as much as you need him.Â
âBut anyway,â Lily says, her voice dragging you back to reality, âwe were thinking of taking a break for a week or so. Maybe head somewhere quiet, less full of chasers. I think Tyler needs itâheâs been super stressed lately.âÂ
âAt least he has Kate,â you say before you can stop yourself. âIâI mean, she sounds really great and helpful. Just what Tyler needs.âÂ
Lilyâs eyes narrow. âYeah... sheâs cool, but...â She tips her head and sighs. âYou know he misses you like crazy? Iâm pretty sure heâs not sleeping, and heâs always talking about coming to find you. I donât know how much longer weâre going to be able to keep him at bay.âÂ
You roll your eyes, trying to sound casual while swallowing down another wave of emotion. âIâm sure Tylerâs doing just fine. He always said I was a liability, so technically he should be way less stressed without me around.âÂ
She gives you a flat, unimpressed look. âYou better be joking, because Iâve never seen Tyler this wound up before.âÂ
A flicker of hope sparks in your chestâsmall and fragile, but impossible to ignore. Maybe... just maybe... this whole fucked-up situation is still salvageable.Â
âSpeak of the devil,â Lily says before you can respond.Â
You watch as she shuffles off the motel bed sheâd been lying on and disappears out of frame. Your pulse quickens at the sound of a deep, muffled voice and approaching footsteps. For a split second, you consider ending the callâblaming it on bad reception or somethingâbut itâs already too late.Â
The video shakes as Lily picks up her laptop and spins it toward Tyler. âLook who it is!â she announces.Â
He looks pale, the lines in his face more defined than you remember, but his eyes still sparkle the same. âHey,â he says, a soft grin tugging at his lips. âYou look... different.âÂ
You blink quickly to stop the moisture welling in your eyesâinternally cursing the hormones, even though you know theyâre not the only ones to blame.Â
You havenât actually spoken to Tyler in almost two weeks. You mostly text, dodge his calls with excuses, and only agree to video chats with Lily or Dani. Tyler knows you too wellâand youâre starting to look different. Heâll know something is off.Â
âSheâs sick,â Lily says before you can answer.Â
âSick?â Tyler repeats, his smile fading. âSick how?âÂ
You shake your head, swallowing hard against the emotion rising in your throat. âIâm fine, really. Might be a stomach ulcer, but itâs mild and Iâm already on meds. I just need a bit of rest.âÂ
âWe can come visit,â Tyler offers quickly, his green eyes full of concern that makes your stomach turn. âWe were planning to take some time off soon, and we could-âÂ
âNo,â you cut in, your voice cracking. âSeriously, donât. Iâm okay. And thereâs still stuff going on with the family. I just told Lilyâif there were anything you could do, Iâd say come help. But thereâs not.âÂ
He opens his mouth, ready to argue, then hesitates. His eyes flick across the screen, studying your face, your posture, the way youâre nervously chewing your lip. Heâs probably already clocked that the background behind you isnât your momâs house.Â
âDonât worry, Tyler,â Lily says with a smile, trying to ease the tension. âSheâll be back soon. She canât stay away much longerâthe chase is calling.â She looks at you with a playful grin. âOr weâll come kidnap you.âÂ
You let out a shaky laugh. âI know you will.âÂ
âHowâs your mom?â Tyler asks suddenly, leaning closer to the camera.Â
Yeah. Heâs definitely trying to figure out where you are. Heâs been in every room of your momâs placeâhe knows this background doesnât match.Â
âSheâs alright,â you say, shifting closer to the laptop to fill more of the frame. âStill a little fragile, so itâs good Iâm here. But sheâs doing well.âÂ
He opens his mouth again, eyes narrowing slightlyâkeen and searching.Â
âAnyway,â you cut in quickly, âI should go. Iâll talk to you later, okay?âÂ
Lily nods, oblivious to Tylerâs suspicion. âLove you,â she says.Â
âLove you too, Lils,â you reply, before your gaze flicks toward Tylerâs frowning face. âYou too, Ty. Stay safe out there.âÂ
Then you move the mouse and hit the red button, sighing out a breath of relief as the call drops.Â
-Â
The next four weeks are brutalâworse than the twelve before them combined. Youâre creeping up on the six-month mark, which means the third trimester isnât far off. Your belly has officially poppedâthereâs no hiding it now unless you borrow your momâs retro maternity parkaâand youâre out of breath more often than not. All you want to do is sleep, eat, and cry over the fact that your closest grocery store just stopped stocking your favourite juice flavour.Â
But thatâs not the hardest part.Â
The hardest part is Tylerâheâs relentless, and youâre pretty sure heâs rallying the rest of the crew too. The messages havenât let up, and now heâs started calling at random times during the day. He asks about your mom, your family, your âstomach ulcerâ. And everyone else is pestering you to come back to chasing, even just for a week, because they miss you like hell.Â
You feel like a total piece of shit.Â
Youâre running out of excuses, and youâve deflected for as long as you can. Youâve tried over and over to come up with a version of the truth that doesnât make you sound like the villain. But no matter how you spin it, youâre still the asshole who kept a massive secret from the people who are practically your family. Theyâre going to find out soonâyouâre already on borrowed timeâand you know you have to tell them before Tyler shows up pounding on your momâs front door.Â
The only thing youâre still absolutely certain about is this: youâre not telling Tyler heâs the father.Â
On the surface, it makes you look like a terrible person, but every time you imagine telling him... you hear his words again. And you know you just canât.Â
Itâs not what he wants. It would ruin everything. Heâd resent you.Â
You canât do that to him. You donât expect anything from him, and youâre more than ready to do this on your own. In fact, at this point, youâd prefer it. You made the decision to keep the babyâthis is on you. All Tyler did was break a condom and fuck you more thoroughly than anyone else ever has. He didnât sign up for consequences. And for him... there doesnât have to be any.Â
So youâll tell them it was a one-night standâtechnically true. That the father travels for work, and you gave him an outâalso true.Â
Now you just have to hope the baby doesnât come out looking like a carbon copy of Tyler Owens.Â
Not that youâre even sure the crew will be around to see much of the baby. Youâre doing this solo for a reasonâyou donât want to weigh anyone down. No matter how they react when you tell them, youâre not letting them give up chasing. Thatâs their life, and this choice? This was yours.Â
So, yeah, youâre going to tell them. But after that... you have no clue. You might never see them again, now that youâre settling down. Or maybe theyâll pop in once or twice a year. You donât know.Â
The only thing youâre sure of right now is that youâre having this babyâand surprisingly, thatâs more than enough.Â
âSheâs perfect,â the doctor says, handing you the sonogram. âWhat made you want to find out the sex?âÂ
You stare down at the little black and white image. Twenty-two weeks exactly. Youâre more than halfway there.Â
âI donât know,â you reply. âThought maybe I should get to know my new roommate a little better.âÂ
The doctor laughs softly but doesnât press further. She types something into the computer, then jots a note on a scrap piece of paperâher recommendation for the heartburn you mentioned earlier. After a few more routine questions, she offers a kind smile and a dismissive nod. You thank her and step out.Â
Her office is just around the block from your apartment, so you chose to walk today. The sun is warm, the sky is blue, andâfor the first time in a whileâyouâre feeling a little less weighed down.Â
Youâve also decided that todayâs the day youâll message Tyler to ask where they are and see if you can meet up soon. Youâve practiced your story in the mirror more times than you can count, and youâve run it past both your mom and your therapistâthe latter was less thrilled about the lying, but youâre ignoring that part. All thatâs left now is to show up and break the news gently. Although, your belly will probably do that for you the moment they see you.Â
Strangely, you feel at peace todayâdespite the whirlwind of the past few weeks. You woke up clear-headed, even a little hopeful. Like if you can grow an entire human, you can handle anything.Â
You try not to overanalyse the sudden shiftâyour moods have been a rollercoaster latelyâand youâre especially trying not to compare it to the weather before a storm. But thatâs exactly what it feels like.Â
Everything is calm. Still. The sun is out, and thereâs no wind. But you know better than to trust this kind of stillness.Â
Itâs the calm before the storm.Â
You shake your head and take a deep breath, refocusing on your route from the doctorâs office to the grocery store. Itâs still earlyâbarely nine a.m.âand youâve got a craving for the sugary cereal you ran out of days ago.Â
The sun is warm enough that you have to shrug off your sweater the moment you step inside the store. Itâs blissfully quietâno crowded aisles, no screaming kids, and no one crashing their cart like itâs a demolition derby.Â
You sling your sweater over one shoulder and head toward the breakfast aisle, one hand resting on your belly as the baby wrigglesâstill too small for proper kicks, but very much there. A soft smile tugs at your lips as you scan the shelves, eyes flitting across the bright, colourful cereal boxes.Â
You really should start thinking of names. You havenât even made a list.Â
You grab the box you came for and continue toward the end of the aisle, already thinking about swinging past the bakery section. But just as you round the corner, a voice stops you in your tracks.Â
âHoly shit.âÂ
You know that voice. You know it too well.Â
You almost donât want to lookâbut your head turns before you can stop it. And sure enough, thereâs Tyler, looking downright sinful in a tight white T-shirt and faded Wrangler jeans. Heâs wearing a cap, backwards, and itâs making your hormones riot. You could devour him right here in the middle of the store. But not only would that be wildly inappropriate... youâre pretty sure heâs gone into shock.Â
He looks paleâtoo pale. Frozen. His eyes are wide, and his mouth is moving, but no sound is coming out. He looks like a fish out of water. And judging by the expression on his face, he probably feels like one too.Â
âOh my God,â you say, instinctively shifting the cereal box in front of your belly. âTyler.âÂ
You want to launch yourself at him, to throw your arms around his neck. You want to hug him, kiss him, get lost in him the way youâve been craving for months. But the way heâs staring... youâre not even sure he recognises you.Â
âW-What are you doing here?â you ask, your voice shaky and weirdly high-pitched. âAre the others here too?âÂ
Panic overtakes you now, shoving the longing and hormones down into your gut and replacing them with a fresh wave of anxiety.Â
âIâuh,â he clears his throat, blinking hard. âWe were just... just passing through.âÂ
You can feel your heartbeat thumping in your throat.Â
Tyler shifts on his feet and clears his throat again. âWe got in late last night. I was going toâuh, call you. See where you were, but...â His eyes drop to the cereal box in your hands, like he can see right through it.Â
âWow,â you say, because itâs the only word your brain can summon. âThatâs... great. Iâd love to see them. Are they-âÂ
âTheyâre back at the motel,â he cuts in.Â
Slowly, his expression twistsâshock giving way to confusion, then something sharper. Anger, maybe.Â
Thereâs a long pause, thick and heavy, before you clear your throat. âWell, maybe we could all catch up? Iâm not doing anything this after-âÂ
âNo,â he says, cutting you off again. He shakes his head like heâs trying to clear it. âI mean, yes. They want to see you. But I think Iâd like to catch up now.â His tone is harder now, his expression unreadable. âDo you want to grab a coffeeââ he hesitates, âor... tea?âÂ
You rock back on your heels like a kid caught doing something they shouldnât. âTea still has caffeine in it,â you mumble.Â
He doesnât even flinchâjust pins you with a look. Thereâs no room to argue.Â
âBut I could definitely go for a smoothie!â you say too brightly. âThereâs a cafĂ© around the corner, and my apartmentâs just the next block over. If you donât mind... can we go back there? Iâve got ultrasound jelly in my underwear and I really need to pee.âÂ
His brows draw together. Thereâs a flicker of something behind his eyesâhurt. âYou have an apartment?âÂ
You didnât expect that to hit hardest, but you see why. As far as Tyler was concerned, you were coming back. Youâd only ever been on a break. But hearing you have an apartment here... it tells him something else entirely.Â
That youâre not coming back.Â
You nod, tears starting to sting at the corners of your eyes. âYeah... I do.âÂ
The walk out of the store and around the corner is one of the most painful things youâve ever endured. Youâre already planning to compare it to childbirth when the time comesâbut honestly, youâre pretty sure this will still win.Â
Tylerâs movements are stiff and deliberate. He keeps a cautious distance, like youâre contagious, and it takes everything in you not to cry right there on the sidewalk.Â
Neither of you speaks. You just lead the way, and he follows. At the cafĂ©, you order a smoothieânothing else. You feel so nauseous, you're worried you might throw up your baby. Tyler orders a coffee, then steps back to type something on his phone. For a moment, panic grips youâis he telling the others? But no. Tylerâs not like that. Heâs probably just letting them know that he got caught up.Â
Once your drinks are ready, you head down the street toward your apartment. You donât bother making conversation, you donât even point out the ridiculous-looking dog in the window across the street. You just let yourself into the lobby and ride up to the fourth floor.Â
Down the hall, you unlock your door and step inside, holding it open for him.Â
The look on his face as he enters your space is what finally breaks you. The tears spill over before you can stop them. He looks wrong hereâtoo big for the tiny apartment youâve made your own. And he looks like youâve just ripped his heart out and stomped on it.Â
You make a beeline for the kitchen, dropping your untouched smoothie on the counter and diving for the tissue box. A sniffle escapes as you swipe at your eyes and nose, followed by a soft, rattling sob.Â
âHey,â Tyler says gently, suddenly at your side, a hand landing on your back. âItâs okay. Iâm not mad.âÂ
Of course heâs not. Heâs too good. Too decent to treat you the way you probably should be treatedâwithout kindness.Â
You clear your throat and look up at him, close enough now that you can smell the familiar scent of his cologne. âYou should be,â you mumble, wiping at your cheeks. âItâd be easier if you were mad at me.âÂ
He lets out a humourless chuckle. âI mean, Iâm not exactly happy. But why would I be mad?âÂ
You feel small. Pathetic. Like if the floor cracked open right now, youâd gladly let it swallow you whole. But it doesnât.Â
You force down another sob, blinking hard as you reach for your smoothie and carry it into the living room. You flop down into your favourite corner of the couch and nod for him to follow.Â
Then you clear your throat, summoning every ounce of confidence you have left.Â
âOkay,â you say. âHereâs the story.âÂ
You donât say the truth or what really happened. Because thatâs not what youâre about to give him.Â
Youâve got a story. And thatâs what youâre sticking to.Â
âA few weeks after I got back, I went out with some old friends,â you begin, technically not lying. âIt was supposed to be a way to blow off some steam after everything with my family... and I missed you guys so much, I thought it would take my mind off things. But I got a little too drunk, and I ended up going home with some guy my friend knew.â There's the lie. âIt was stupid and reckless, but... thatâs what happened.âÂ
He winces at your words, his expression unreadable. It looks like hurt, but why would he be hurt by that? Maybe itâs just disappointment.Â
You clear your throat and continue, slipping into the rhythm of the story youâve practiced a thousand times in front of the mirror. âAbout three weeks later, I found out. I contacted the guy, but he travels for work, so... I gave him an out. I made the decision to keep it, told him I didnât expect anything from him. So... here we are.âÂ
The silence hangs thick and heavy between you, suffocating you as you try to breathe through the storm of emotions clawing at your chest.Â
âI was going to tell you,â you add, your voice steadier than you feel. âI just couldnât find the right time. It all felt so messy and rushed, and time kept slipping by. You guys were so busy, and with Kate and Javi... I didnât want to ruin the high you were on.âÂ
He doesnât react at first. Just stares at youâhis eyes flicking between your face and your belly.Â
Then it hits him. A thousand emotions all at once. Confusion. Hurt. A flicker of anger. Sadness. And finally, he lands back on hurt.Â
âYouâre going to do it alone?â he asks, tension threading through his words.Â
You nod once, steady. âIâll be fine.âÂ
âI donât doubt that. Youâll be amazing. But you shouldnât have to do it alone.âÂ
Your heart squeezes. Would he still be saying that if he knew who the guy really was?Â
âI wonât be alone,â you say, resting a hand on your stomach.Â
His eyes fall to your hand and linger there. You think his bottom lip might wobble, just for a second. But then he looks back up, brow creased.Â
âYou know weâre all here for you,â he says, voice strained. âWeâre not going to let you do this on your own. I know youâre strong, but-âÂ
âItâs not your problem, Ty,â you cut in quickly, desperate to stop him before the tears start again. âItâs not anyoneâs burden but mineânot that itâs a burden. But I was scared to tell you for a reason. I didnât want you to freak out. I made this choice knowing it would change my life, and mine alone. I know I have support if I need it, but wait for me to ask. Not that I could ask any of you to stop your livesâstop doing what you love. Iâd never do that. Iâd never ask for more than youâre willing to give. So please believe me when I say... Iâm happy about the choice I made. Iâm excited to do this by myself. You need to live your life, Ty. Chase those storms. Chase your dreams. Iâm good. Iâll be fine.âÂ
His expression is unreadableâsomewhere between pain and disbelief. He just stares at you, silent, like he doesnât recognize what heâs looking at. Not scared. Just... bewildered.Â
The silence stretches, the only sound your uneven, too-loud breathing.Â
Then, finally, he whispers, âBut itâs not the same without you.âÂ
You roll your eyes, trying to keep it light. âDonât be silly, Tyler. Youâve got Kate and Javi now. You probably didnât even notice I was gone.â You pause. âAnd Kate seems great. Iâm happy for you.âÂ
No, youâre not. But youâre getting better at lying.Â
His gaze snaps from your belly back to your face, eyebrows drawn tight. âHappy for me?âÂ
You nod, forcing a smile. âAnyway, I really need a shower. That ultrasound goo gets everywhere. Want to catch up later? With the crew?âÂ
You need him gone. Now. Before you fall apart.Â
âIâuh...â He glances around the room, like heâs trying to find an excuse to stay. âYeah. Theyâll want to see you.âÂ
You nod and head to the kitchen for your bag. âCould you do me a favour?â The guilt is immediate and sharp. How dare you ask anything of him right now?Â
He nods.Â
âCould you... tell them? Warn them?â You canât meet his eyes, so you focus on the tear in the knee of his jeans as he approaches.Â
âYou want me to tell them?âÂ
âYeah,â you murmur. âItâs just... been a lot. And the way you reactedâI donât think I can take five more of those. If you could just warn them before we meet up... it would help.âÂ
Straight to hell. Thatâs where youâre headed. Youâve spent months trying not to burden himâand now this?Â
He swallows hard and nods, eyes drifting to something on the counter. âYeah... okay. I can do that.âÂ
You exhale, not realizing you were holding your breath. âThanks, Ty.âÂ
He picks up the sonogram. âIs this the one from today?âÂ
âOh.â As if she knows her dad is seeing her for the first time, your little girl wriggles. âY-Yeah. Thatâs today.âÂ
His mouth twitches into a watery smile. âCan I take a photo? Then I can show the crew.âÂ
You nod, speechless, watching the way he looks at the picture. If he doesnât leave soon, youâre going to cry and throw up all over him.Â
He snaps the photo and tucks his phone away, gently placing the sonogram back on the counter.Â
âYou said you werenât busy this afternoon?â he asks.Â
You nod, throat tight.Â
âGood. Iâm sure theyâll want to see you soon. Maybe dinner? Iâll text you after I talk to them. I bet you know all the good places around here.âÂ
Heâs speaking too fast, his eyes everywhere but your face. He wants out just as badly as you want him out.Â
You walk him to the door, trying to smile. Itâs pitiful. It feels like everything around you has stopped moving. His eyes are wide, glassy, full of something unfamiliar. But then again, do you even know him anymore? Four months is a long time.Â
Before you can say goodbye, he steps forward and wraps his arms around you. Holds you like he means it. Like itâs the only thing keeping him together.Â
Tears stream down your face, your shoulders shaking. The baby kicksâharder than everâand you want to blame the pressure of Tylerâs hug. But then you wonder... does she know itâs him?Â
The thoughts keep coming, hot and heavy, as your tears soak into the shoulder of his white shirt.Â
After what feels like both forever and not long enough, he pulls away. His eyes rimmed with red.Â
âIâll text you,â he says hoarsely, then turns and walks down the hall.Â
You shut the doorâand collapse to the floor. You stay there for almost an hour. Crying. Thinking. And for the first time, wishing youâd just told him the truth from the start. Back at the gas station. Would it really have been that bad?Â
Youâre not so sure anymore. Because this? This doesnât feel like the right thing.Â
- Tyler -Â
Tyler doesnât remember how he got back to his truck in the grocery store parking lot. All he knows is that heâs in it nowâbut he doesnât have the courage to drive. He doesnât trust himself. His hands wonât stop shaking, his eyes are burning with tears, and his throat aches. When he closes his eyes, all he can see is you: your soft smile, your wide, tearful eyes, and that intrinsic glowâgranted by your pregnancy, despite how clearly distressed youâd been.Â
He canât believe youâre pregnant.Â
He tried so hard to be understanding, to not blow through you with every emotion that crashed down the moment he saw you. But it was so hard. He wanted to be angry that you didnât tell himâbut he knew he had no right. He didnât have the right to be upset at all. You were clearly stressed about him finding outâabout the crew finding out.Â
But why?Â
Thatâs what he canât figure out.Â
Sure, it might not have been planned. Itâs going to turn your life upside down. But why wouldnât you want your friends to know? He knows youâve rationalised itâtold yourself you didnât want to burden them. But he also knows that you know better than that. Your friends wouldnât feel burdened. Theyâd just want to be there for you.Â
He just wants to be there for you.Â
And as complicated as this whole thing is, itâs confusion that lingers the loudest. Heâs confused about how he should feel, and confused about what he does feel. He thought he knew youâbut right now, heâs not so sure. Youâre still familiar... but different.Â
The sharp chime of Tylerâs phone cuts through the silence of the truck cabin. He glances at where he tossed it on the passenger seat, just able to make out the text from Boone: âYou good?âÂ
No.Â
He exhales slowly and turns the key, the truck rumbling to life around him. Then he grabs the phone and fires off a quick reply: âBe back in 10. Get everyone together for breakfast.âÂ
Then he pulls out of the grocery store parking lot and starts rehearsing how heâs going to break the news to the crew.Â
An hour later, in a quiet cafĂ© on the other side of town with two small tables pulled together, Dani leans toward Tyler and blurts, âSheâs what?!âÂ
Dexter chokes on his coffee, spluttering into his napkin, while Lilyâs jaw drops mid-chew, revealing a messy mouthful of pancake.Â
âSheâs pregnant?â Boone asks, his voice calmer than Daniâs, though his eyes are still wide as saucers.Â
Kate and Javi exchange a quick, uncertain glance, both clearly unsure how to react to the news thatâs left half the crew reeling over their breakfast.Â
âI canât believe she didnât say anything,â Dani says, her voice tight with offense.Â
Lily finally swallows. âSo thatâs why sheâs been avoiding us?âÂ
Dexter tips his head, eyes narrowing on Tyler. âHow far along is she?âÂ
Tyler shrugs, his stomach twisting with nauseaâthough heâs not entirely sure why. Itâs not like this is his big news. âShe said she met the guy a few weeks after getting home. So... sheâs probably around four months.âÂ
âFour months,â Dani echoes. âAnd she didnât tell any of us?âÂ
Kateâs quiet laugh draws every eye to her. She quickly slaps a hand over her mouth. âSorry,â she mumbles, wide-eyed. âI justââ She glances at Tyler, then looks around the table. âI mean, can you blame her? Look at how youâre all reacting.âÂ
Tyler frowns. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
Kate sighs and leans back in her chair. âNo offense, but youâre all acting like this is about you. If this wasnât plannedâand it doesnât sound like it wasâthen sheâs probably just scared. Of course she was nervous to tell you guys. She probably knew how youâd react.âÂ
The group goes quiet then, effectively chastised. And Kate isnât wrongâTyler knows that. As someone less emotionally entangled in your situation than the rest of the crew, she can probably see it more clearly. Understand why you did what you did.Â
But that doesnât make Tyler feel any less conflicted. He still feels off. His palms are damp and his stomach won't stop twisting itself into nauseating knots. His heart is beating too fast, sitting high in his throat. And he canât stop seeing your faceâthose tearful eyes, flushed cheeks, parted lips the moment you saw him again.Â
For a fleeting moment, heâd been taken back to that night. The night where everything else blurred except for you. Your flushed face, kiss-bruised mouth, lips parted for him, breathless beneath him. The way youâd whispered his name like a secret, the sounds he drew from you with his hands and mouth, the feel of your skin against his.Â
Heâd be lying if he said he didnât think about that night⊠a lot. At first, he tried not to. He couldnât believe the lines heâd crossed, waking up with you in his arms at three a.m., your bare body pressed to his. He wasnât even that drunkâjust drunk on you. And God, he wanted nothing more than to pull you closer and fall back asleep. But panic had crept in. He had to get out. Had to breathe.Â
The next day was awkwardâmostly because he couldnât stop seeing you the way heâd seen you the night before. He wanted to talk, to say something. But he couldnât. He couldnât risk burning down years of friendship for one selfish desire. So after about a week, he cracked a joke. You shot back with something sarcastic, and things felt⊠almost normal again.Â
Until you left.Â
And when you did, you took a piece of him with you. A big piece. One he doesnât know how to get backâor if he even wants it back.Â
âHey.â Kate nudges her knee against Tylerâs. âYou good?âÂ
The rest of the group has slipped into quiet conversation, murmuring among themselves about you and the baby.Â
Tyler nods once, eyes fixed on nothing in particular as he fishes his phone from his back pocket. He opens it, pulls up the sonogram picture, and slides it across the table.Â
âShe had an ultrasound today,â he says, the words tasting like lead on his tongue.Â
Lilyâs eyes light up as she snatches the phone, gazing at the black-and-white photo. Dani leans over one shoulder, Dexter over the other, and itâs not hard to catch the soft smiles spreading across their faces.Â
âIâm not saying youâre not allowed to be upset,â Kate says, her voice lowered just for him. âI just think... maybe consider how sheâs feeling before you take too much of that out on her.âÂ
Tyler sighs and scrubs both hands over his face. âI tried to be calm. But it was so fucking hard. She kept crying.âÂ
Kate exhales a half-laugh. âYeah, sheâs pregnant. Whatever you think youâre feeling, multiply it by a thousand. Thatâs probably where sheâs at.âÂ
The memory of your tear-streaked face hits him square in the chest, stealing the breath from his lungs. Heâd felt so useless, even as he held you close. All he wants is to make things better. To go back, find you sooner, and give you everything youâve needed but never asked for.Â
âI just want to help,â Tyler mutters, his voice rough. âShe said sheâs happy to do it on her own, but... I want to be there.âÂ
âThen be there,â Kate says, brows furrowed like itâs the simplest truth in the world. âYou donât have to overstep or force your way back in. Just be her friend. Isnât that what youâve always been? Just because she thinks things have to change doesnât mean they do. Show her that.âÂ
Tylerâs eyes flick to Dani, who now has his phone and is zooming in on the sonogram with an awed expression.Â
âBut things have changed,â he says, turning back to Kate.Â
On her other side, Javi has his phone in front of his nose, but Tyler can tell from his posture that heâs still listening.Â
âFor her, yeah,â Kate replies. âHer whole worldâs flipped. But for you? Not really. So be something that hasnât changed. Something stable. Something she can still count on.âÂ
Tylerâs brows draw together, eyes starting to burn again from the now-familiar sting of tears. He knows Kateâs smartâbut wise too? Suddenly, he feels like a kid who threw a tantrum he didnïżœïżœïżœt fully understand.Â
âI mean,â Javi chimes in, the straw of his milkshake still at the corner of his mouth, âitâs not like youâre the father.âÂ
The words hit Tyler harder than they should. They sink into his skin and burn as they draw blood, the pain spreading through his chest. His skin prickles, heat rushes to his face, and his head goes a little lightâlike the floorâs been yanked out from under him.Â
Heâs not just angry that you didnât tell him. Not just upset that you left, that you ran away from the crew with a half-assed excuse. Heâs confused, yesâbut underneath it all, heâs heartbroken.Â
Because itâs not just about you being pregnant. Itâs not about the distance, or how much everything suddenly feels so different. Itâs the fact that youâre pregnant with someone elseâs baby.Â
Not his.Â
And for the first time, the weight of it truly hits himâÂ
He wants it to be his.Â
âOuch!â Javi hisses as Kate smacks him on the back of the head. âWhat was that for?âÂ
She rolls her eyes. âNot reading the room.âÂ
âShit,â Javi mutters, leaning forward past Kate to see Tylerâa very shocked-looking Tyler. âSorry, man.âÂ
Tyler tries to shake his head, but itâs slow, almost robotic. âItâs fine,â he mutters, voice barely above a whisper.Â
Kate rests a hand on his knee and leans toward him. âAre you sure youâre okay?âÂ
He opens his mouth, but hesitates. He was going to say yesâbut that would be a lie. Heâs not okay. He hasnât been okay since you left.Â
Kateâs brows draw together, her head tilting slightly. âYouâre not, like... just realizing youâre totally in love with her, are you?âÂ
Tylerâs green gaze snaps to her face, a jolt of electricity running down his spine at hearing those words said out loud.Â
âOh, Tyler...â she sighs, a small, knowing smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. âWake up.âÂ
Heâs always known he loves youâof course he does. But in love with you? Maybe it shouldâve been obvious. He hasnât felt fully human without you by his side. Thereâs been a gaping hole in his chest since the day you leftâbecause you took his heart with you.Â
It always has been yours. He just never really thought about it that hard. Heâs just always known, deep down, from the very beginning, that he belongs to you.Â
And heâs always thought of you as his. Never questioned it, even through your crappy boyfriends and his meaningless hookups. Some part of him was sure youâd always come back. That at the end of the dayâafter the stormâyouâd be his again.Â
But now? Now some other guy has a claim on you. And he knows itâs selfish. He knows itâs primal. But God, he fucking hates it.Â
After breakfast, the crew heads back to the motel. They try to workâand try even harder to pull Tyler out of whatever existential wormhole heâs fallen intoâbut itâs not easy. He spends most of the day staring into space, half-listening (at best) to anyone who speaks. Eventually, they give up and leave him to it.Â
Lily ends up messaging you about dinner, since Tylerâs too dazed to even type a text. You agree to meet at a restaurant downtown, halfway between your place and the crewâs motel.Â
âOkay, pal,â Kate sighs as she drops into the lawn chair beside Tylerâs. âYouâre starting to worry us.âÂ
Lily drops into the chair on his other side, braced like she might have to chase him if he bolts.Â
âAre you going to be alright tonight?â Kate asks gently.Â
Tyler nodsâslow, uncertain. âYeah. Why wouldnât I be?âÂ
âBecause youâve been a damn zombie all day,â Lily snaps. âYou think acting like this is going to make her feel loved and supported?âÂ
Thereâs a beat of silence before she speaks again, her tone sharp. âThe answer is no. So get your shit together.âÂ
Tyler turns to Kate, frowning. âWhy is she being mean to me?âÂ
Kate rolls her eyes for what feels like the thousandth time today. âBecause youâre being a child. So what, youâre in love with your best friend whoâs now pregnant with some random guyâs baby? Suck it up. Start acting normalâor youâll just make her feel worse.âÂ
Tyler lets out a long, dramatic sigh and tips his head back. âI canât.âÂ
âYes, you can,â Lily says. âCome onâpractice talking about baby stuff with us.âÂ
Kate perks up. âGood idea. Ask us about being pregnant.âÂ
Tyler slowly lowers his head and gives Kate a flat stare. âThis is dumb. Iâm not going to make things awkward. Iâll be fine.âÂ
âThen why have you walked away from every conversation about babies today?â Lily fires back.Â
âJust try,â Kate pleads. âLetâs just talk about her, okay? And no deflecting.âÂ
Tyler groans but doesnât argue, silently accepting the assignment.Â
Kate folds her hands in her lap and leans in like an interviewer. âSo, you said sheâs got an apartment hereâdid you see the nursery?âÂ
âNo,â Tyler replies, nausea twisting in his gut. Just thinking about that visit makes him uneasy. âWasnât exactly a show-and-tell kind of vibe.âÂ
Kate sighs. âI get that. But just work with us.âÂ
âIâve got one,â Lily chimes in. âDid she say sheâs having any weird cravings?âÂ
Tyler shakes his head. âNo.â Then, at her expectant look, he adds, âBut she was buying some sugary cereal when I ran into her. I think she told the cashier it was the babyâs favourite breakfast.âÂ
Lily nods, satisfied.Â
Kate clears her throat. âDid she say how far along she is?âÂ
âNot exactly,â Tyler says. âBut from what she did say, Iâm guessing around eighteen weeks.â He did the mathâcounting from the day you left the crew, assuming you met âthe guyâ maybe three or four weeks later.Â
âNuh-uh,â Lily says, brows pinched as she shakes her head. âSheâs twenty-two weeks.âÂ
Tylerâs heart skips. âWhat? How do you know?âÂ
âItâs on the sonogram, stupid.âÂ
His pulse kicks up, head spinning, hands suddenly numb as he fumbles for his phone. He yanks it from his back pocket and pulls up the image, squinting at the screen.Â
Lily sighs and takes it from him, zooming in on the small print in the corner. âSee? Twenty-two weeks.âÂ
Kate says something, but Tyler doesnât hear her. All he hears is the blood pounding in his ears. Loud. Fast. Deafening.Â
Twenty-two weeks. Thatâs five and a half months. Youâve only been gone four months and three weeks.Â
That leaves three weeks.Â
Three weeks you were still with the crew. Still with him.Â
Somewhere in those three weeks⊠you got pregnant.Â
The world tilts. He blinks, onceâtwiceâbut everything stays blurry. The thought barrels through him like a freight train. It doesnât make senseâshouldnât make senseâbut it does. The timeline. The things you said. The look on your face when you saw him. His stomach drops as the pieces slam into place, sharp and undeniable.Â
Holy shit.Â
âTyler,â Kate says, her hand closing over his shoulder.Â
Lily frowns again. âYouâre supposed to be acting normal, dude. You canât keep freezing like that.âÂ
âI have to go,â he mutters, shooting to his feet.Â
Kate blinks. âWhere?âÂ
âIâll meet you guys at the restaurant.â Heâs gone before they can respond, feet already pounding the pavement.Â
He throws himself into the truck and jams the key in the ignition, peeling out of the motel lot fast enough to make the tires squeal.Â
His grip tightens on the steering wheel as the truck barrels down the street, heart pounding like a war drum. The shock is still there, curling cold and sharp in his chest, but the panic has started to harden. Settle. Sharpen. Heâs not going to lose it. Not now. If this really adds upâif the impossible is trueâthen he needs answers. Not anger. He sucks in a breath through his nose, jaw locked tight.Â
Heâs not going there to yell. Heâs going there to hear it. To look you in the eye and make you say itâÂ
The truth.Â
- You -Â
You stand in front of your closet with your hands on your hips, trying to figure out what still fits and also looks decent enough for a nice restaurant. You picked a nice place on purposeâyou havenât been out in months. Literally. Most of your friends have been too busy chasing tornadoes while youâve been stuck in this town, growing a baby. And while youâre not angry about the choices youâve made, youâre more than a little excited to be getting out for the first time in what feels like forever.Â
Youâre feeling a lot better than you did a few hours ago. After a solid hour of crying on the floor, you dragged yourself into the shower and stayed there until your fingers pruned. Then you wrapped yourself in two towels, curled up on your bed, and passed out. When you woke up, your phone was full of messagesâhearts, check-ins, a few sweet âcanât wait to see youâ textsâand you decided that maybe youâd been overreacting.Â
Sure, seeing Tyler had been the emotional peak of the last five and a half months, but thatâs over now. And yeah, things might still be awkward. A little tense. But the secretâs out, and your story had him convincedâhook, line, and sinker. He was just emotional because he missed you. Because youâre best friends, and this is the longest youâve ever gone without each other.Â
Youâd thought about telling him the truth earlier, while curled up on the floor. But once the initial wreckage settled, you remembered why you hadnât. Just to be sure, you went back and rewatched Coreyâs YouTube interview. It still stungâmaybe even more than the first timeâbut it did what it was supposed to: reminded you to stay strong. Because when it comes to Tyler Owens, strength is not your strong suit.Â
A knock echoes through the apartment and jolts you into motion. You yank a pair of thick black leggings from the drawer and wrestle into them while shuffling toward your bedroom door, grabbing an oversized knit sweater on the way.Â
âComing!â you call, your voice muffled as you pull the sweater over your head.Â
Random visitors arenât exactly uncommon. Your neighbour Marge likes to accuse you of stealing her newspapers, and youâve definitely forgotten about more than a few online orders until the delivery driver comes knockingÂ
You reach the door and tug the sweater down over your bump before pulling it open.Â
âTyler,â you breathe, startled, taking an automatic step back. âYouâreâuhâyouâre like an hour early.âÂ
Lily had mentioned heâd be picking you upâsomething about saving you the cab fare. You hadnât objected, for obvious reasons, but youâd hoped for at least enough time to do your hair and makeup.Â
Still, he looks infuriatingly good. Heâs swapped his white tee for a red plaid flannel, the top few buttons undone down to his sternum. His hairâs a tousled mess, like heâs been running his hands through it all day, and heâs holding his cowboy hat in one hand.Â
âYeah,â he says, a little breathless. âFigured we could catch up some more.âÂ
Did he drive here? Or run?Â
âUm, okay. Sure,â you say, stepping back further.Â
He nods as he walks in, kicking off his boots by the door before heading toward the lounge. But he doesnât sitâhe just stands there, stiff and distant, eyes scanning the room like heâs searching for something specific.Â
âI was just getting ready,â you say, slipping into the kitchen. âMind if I do the quick version before we... catch up?âÂ
He shakes his head and sets his hat on the coffee table, still glancing around like heâs casing the place.Â
âWant a drink?â you ask, watching him carefully.Â
âIâm good,â he says.Â
âOkay,â you mutter, and retreat toward your room. So much for taking your time and enjoying getting ready.Â
Maybe heâs just trying to be nice after this morning. Or maybe the others sent him here to smooth things over before they all see you for the first time in over four monthsâbaby bump and all.Â
âHow far along did you say you were?â Tyler calls, poking his head into your room.Â
You jump, dropping the sock you were trying to pull on. âOh... um, about four-ish months.âÂ
He narrows his eyes but doesnât press, just leans in the doorway, quietly taking in the space.Â
This canât be good.Â
âWhen are you due?â he asks.Â
âFive-ish months,â you shoot back with a smirk.Â
His lip twitches, almost smilingâand it still gets you. That little flicker of him is enough to stir your heart.Â
Then he asks, âWhat did you say the dadâs name was again?âÂ
You freeze mid-step toward the ensuite. âI didnât.âÂ
âOh...â His nod is slow, satisfied, like he was waiting for that.Â
âItâs Todd,â you blurt, turning quickly and disappearing into the bathroom.Â
Behind you, he scoffs. âTodd.âÂ
Yeah, this isnât good. Tylerâs onto something. What, you donât know. But you can feel itâheâs circling like a shark, toying with you before he bites.Â
âSo, when exactly did you find out you were pregnant?â he asks, stepping into view in the mirror behind you.Â
The hairs on your neck rise. âAbout three weeks after I slept with him.âÂ
His eyes lock on yours in the mirror, steady and sharp as you try to run a comb through your damp hair.Â
âWhat did he say when you told him?âÂ
You shrug, trying to appear unaffected. âNot much. He was shocked. Asked if I was keeping it, and I said yes. Told him it was fine if he wanted out. He took it.âÂ
Tyler shifts, raising one arm to lean against the doorframe. Heâs filling the small bathroom doorway with his bodyâand youâre suddenly very aware of how broad his shoulders are, how strong his arms are, remembering the way heâd thrown you around that night...Â
The memory slams into you, heat creeping between your thighs. You shift, pressing your legs together.Â
He notices. That tiny smirk returning as he leans in a little more, boxing you in.Â
âBit strange, donât you think?â he says, voice low. âKnowing youâre having a kid and not wanting anything to do with it. Sounds like a dirtbag move.âÂ
Anger slices through your chest. âYeah, well. Some people just donât see themselves settling down.âÂ
The words are out before you realiseâthey're his words, from the interview.Â
His eyes narrow. âWho said anything about settling down? Kids donât ruin lives.âÂ
You scoff, avoiding his gaze. âNo, they just stop you from pursuing your dreams.âÂ
Another quote. Damn that interview. Damn you for watching it again. But the way heâs interrogating you is pissing you off. What right does he have? Heâs the one who told the world heâd resent anyone who gave him a kid.Â
And here he is, acting like he cares.Â
A heavy breath hangs in the air as you trade your hairbrush for a makeup brush, leaning closer to the mirror. Tylerâs eyes stay locked on youâintense, unwavering, a little too focused.Â
Then his voice slices clean through the silence.Â
âWhy didnât you use birth control?âÂ
White-hot fury flares up your spine, lighting your cheeks on fire as you spin to face him. He doesnât blink. Doesnât recoil. He just stands there with that same infuriating glint in his eyeâsmug, steady, unreadable. His posture is so relaxed it makes your skin crawl, like he didnât just drop a live grenade into the middle of your lie.Â
âYou know Iâm not on birth control,â you snap, your voice low and trembling with rage. âAnd the condom. Fucking. Broke.âÂ
The second itâs out of your mouth, you want to drag it back in. You couldâve said anything elseâsomething careless, something wild, something stupid. But instead, you gave him truth wrapped in a lieâand now the whole thing is starting to crack.Â
âThat so?â he murmurs, eyes dark. âCrazy how that happened... twice in a row.âÂ
Your jaw clenches. âClearly I need to buy a new box of condoms.âÂ
He lets out a dry, humourless laugh and leans in closer, eyes glittering. âThat was my condom that broke.âÂ
Your breath comes faster now, chest tight, nerves sparking under your skin like live wires. You canât even remember the lie you rehearsed. Your heartâs thundering, the baby is moving restlessly in your bellyâlike she feels your panic. Like she knows.Â
âMaybe you and Todd use the same damn brand,â you mutter, spinning back toward the vanity and gripping the edge like it might hold you steady.Â
âYou just said you need to buy a new box,â he presses, relentless. âDoes Todd leave his condoms here?âÂ
You grit your teeth, drop your chin, and breathe in through your nose. âJesus, Tyler. Iâm sorry I donât remember every single detail.âÂ
You hear him shift. Feel the heat of him behind you. Too close.Â
âYou wanna know what I think?â he asks, voice low and dangerous.Â
You turn, slowly, heart in your throat. Heâs so close now your belly nearly brushes his belt and you have to press against the vanity for space.Â
You meet his eyes. âWhat do you think, Tyler?âÂ
He tilts his head, just slightly. âI think you remember the night you got pregnant like it just happened. I think itâs carved into your brain. And I think youâre tripping over your story right now because you canât forget what it felt like. Because it was so damn good, you donât want to forget it.âÂ
Panic coils in your chest like a gathering stormârising fast, twisting tight, pushing a tangled mess of guilt and frustration up your throat. Your breath catches on it, your lungs stuck somewhere between inhale and breakdown. And then it spills over. Tears blur your vision before you can even try to blink them back, heavy and hot as they streak down your cheeksâweighted with remorse and something close to desperation.Â
Tyler is frozen in place, wide-eyed and still, his lips parted like heâs trying to speak but the words wonât come. You can see the regret flicker thereâhe hadnât meant to be cruel, not like that. But it doesnât matter. Whatever version of the truth heâs starting to piece together... heâs probably right.Â
And still, you canât say it. Not yet.Â
Instead, you swipe at your cheeks with the sleeve of your sweater and slip past him, your shoulder brushing his arm as you squeeze out of the bathroom. You cross the room on shaky legs and drop onto the bed, curling in on yourself as a raw sob breaks free and rattles from your chest. You bury your face in your hands, wishing the ground would swallow you whole.Â
Tyler doesnât move at first. The silence stretches and settles around you, thick and stifling. But then comes the soft creak of the floorboards beneath his feet as he steps closer. Slowly. Carefully. Like heâs approaching a wounded animal.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says, his voice low and rough, like heâs choking on his own emotion. âThat was too harsh.âÂ
You donât look up. Not yet. You canât.Â
âI didnât mean to come at you like that,â he continues, voice gentler now. âI got caught upâand I guess Iâve been walking around with all this shit in my chest. Then I saw you again, and it just... it all hit me. Iâve been pretending Iâm fine, like it didnât gut me when you left. But it did. You took more of me with you than I ever realised.âÂ
Your fingers shift, just enough to peek through themâand there he is, kneeling beside the bed, one hand resting near your thigh but not quite touching. His eyes search yours, glassy with emotion heâs clearly trying to hold back.Â
âI love you,â he says, barely above a whisper. âI did before all of thisâbefore you left, before... the baby. Iâve always loved you. That night wasnât a mistake. And honestly? I wasnât even that drunk. I justâneeded you. I still do. I need you more than anything.âÂ
You swallow hard.Â
âBut not more than you need the chase,â you mutter, tears spilling again. âRight? Because thatâs it for you. Thatâs the dream, and youâve worked too damn hard to give it up.âÂ
He blinks. Confused. Then his brows furrow as recognition dawns. You can see it hit himâhe remembers.Â
You let out a shaky breath and slide your hand over his. âI donât want you to resent me, Ty. I donât want you to give up what you love. Youâve got an out.âÂ
His eyes widen, locking onto yours like heâs just now realising what youâre trying to say.Â
âYou can still walk away,â you whisper.Â
He stares at you, frozenâlike your words knocked the air clean out of his lungs. His mouth opens slightly, but no sound comes out. His brows knit tighter, his hand shifting beneath yours.Â
Then, after a beat, he whispers, âAre you serious?âÂ
You donât answer. You canât. You just look at him, eyes brimming, heart thundering in your chest like itâs trying to burst out and reach for him itself.Â
His throat works around a swallow. Then he says itâlow and broken and burning.Â
âDidnât you hear me?â His voice cracks. âI fucking love you. More than anything. More than storms and chasing and everything Iâve ever been stupid enough to think mattered more. That interview... it was bullshit. I wasnât thinkingâI wasnât thinking about you. Because with you, I want all of it.âÂ
Then he moves.Â
Thereâs no breath between the words and the moment he surges forwardâlike heâs been holding himself back for years and finally snapped. His mouth crashes into yours, hot and searing, all teeth and desperation and need. One hand tangles in your hair, the other pulls you toward him with a grip that says heâs never letting go again.Â
It steals your breath. Steals your thoughts. Your hands fist in his shirt as you kiss him back just as fiercely, matching the fire with one thatâs been simmering in your chest since the day you left.Â
Thereâs nothing soft about it. Itâs raw and reckless and messy, and it tastes like every unsaid word, every sleepless night, every broken piece finally slamming back into place.Â
It feels like the truth.Â
Between frantic kisses, you whisper against his lips, âI love you.âÂ
You feel his mouth curve into a smile before he murmurs, âFuck, Iâve missed you.âÂ
The kisses slow, softenâhis tongue sweeping against yours with aching intention, like heâs trying to memorise every inch of you, every breath. The hand tangled in your hair slides down to cradle your neck, while the other one drifts to your waist, settling gently against the curve of your swollen belly.Â
Then the baby kicksâhard. Harder than she ever has. You both jolt.Â
âShit,â you whisper, hands flying to your stomach. âSorry.âÂ
Tyler stares, completely still. He looks unfairly beautiful like thisâflushed cheeks, kiss-swollen lips, wide, glassy eyes locked on your belly. He looks like heâs just witnessed something holy. Something impossible.Â
âWhy are you sorry?â he asks, eyes flicking up to yours.Â
You shrug, brushing your damp cheeks with the sleeve of your sweater. âShe doesnât usually kick that hard. I guess sheâs getting stronger.âÂ
His eyes shimmer. âShe?âÂ
You nod, the ghost of a smile on your lips. âYeah. Weâre having a baby girl.âÂ
His bottom lip trembles, a small, stunned smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. âWe?âÂ
A shaky laugh bubbles up as fresh tears spill down your cheeks. âYes, Tyler. Sheâs yours.âÂ
His tears fall freely now, trailing down his flushed cheeks, but he doesnât move. He doesnât even blink. He just looks at you like youâve hung the moonâjust for him.Â
âIâm yours too,â you whisper, voice trembling. âWeâre all yours.âÂ
Then heâs kissing you againâwet and messy and full of everything youâve both been carrying for months. Youâre crying, heâs crying, but neither of you care. You just hold onâbreathing hard, laughing softlyâlips meeting again and again as you both sink into the familiar shape of each other⊠into home.Â
END.
#tyler owens#twisters#glen powell#tyler owens x reader#glen powell x reader#one shot#fanfic#fanfiction#imagine#oneshot#glen x reader#twisters 2024
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Hello dear vldunchartedregions! First of all I wanted to thank you for all the hard work you've been doing to uncover all these info about s08, it's super interesting! I just finished rewatching all of vld and I've been reading both your posts and The Purple Lion's metas and it's just insane how much has been edited/cut in the end! I actually wanted to ask you a question regarding Pidge and Allurance. The Purple Lion's team, from what I've seen, is pro Plance and during my re-watch I noticed that Pidge seems to be rather involved with Allura and Lance's relationship: she's the only one who seems to be upset about Allura having a date with Lance, she sacrifices her video-game to get Allura a dress and even wants to bring her a gift during "Clear Day". I'm a multishipper and I remember, back in the day, that the Plance fandom was quite convinced that their ship could be canon (I also remember Bex liking Plance and writing about it on Twitter, but I could be mistaken). I know you ship Klance and that this meta is going to be Klance centric and I am convinced that there are WAY more hints for an eventual KL endgame, but I still wanted to hear your opinion on what is Pidge's role in all of this. I personally believe that she was supposed to be the one to realize that Allura and Lance aren't happy together and that she would eventually help them both to break up and to be with whom they truly love (and, on the other side, Hunk is the one who helps Keith to open up). Considering that you're using The Purple Lion's metas as reference, what is your position on this? I hope my ask won't anger any shipper, this is just a plot point that I'm curious about (and I'm open to all interpretations).
Thank you for your time and have a nice weekend â€ïžđ
Hi! Thank you for your lovely question and I hope you're having a marvelous day.
Firstly, we wanted to iterate that going into this meta, we had no intention in accounting for and placing our bets on a particular ship. We just opened the doors and did some investigating after a source told us what they knew about the show.
When we were told that 1) Lotor & Allura were endgame, and 2) Keith & Lance were Korrasami implied, we did a first watch through without even touching ships as a whole, and then went into the second with the information we had about said ships.
I cannot express how many doors burst wide open when we watched with the above information.
Honestly? We weren't surprised by this information, to be honest. It was the same team who worked on Legend of Korra and Avatar: the Last Airbender, so we knew there would be similarities on many fronts.
Naturally, we rolled with the information we had and did a rewatch of season 8 alongside watching other seasons to find those parallels, thematics, foreshadowing, etc. etc. (and we're finding more and more everyday).
What we uncovered about Lotura was pretty like yup, this makes total sense! They were endgame.
It's been talked about before, but yes, he would've received a redemption arc, and yes, they would've been endgame.
@leakinghate and the team covered a lot of Lotura pretty well (shoutouts to them) but we'll also add our perspectives to this meta as it will be very relevant when doing our deep dive. It's not far off from what Team Purple Lion have discussed previously, but hopefully we can add some new nuggets of information on that front, too.
What we WEREN'T accounting for was Keith & Lance being way more than implied, plausible deniability, space ranger partners.
Oh no. They were also endgame (allegedly).
To the point that the season was completed, and then had to be edited to the nines at the final lap.
I mean, did you see how he ranted at the family dinner table during his date with Allura?
Listen to it here, it's great. [x] It's also great in other dubs too.
Secondly, this show was genius in paralleling many couples and platonic relationships and rolling those patterns into identifiable analytical points, thematics, and symbolism within character arcs and dynamics throughout the show.
We have one team member who's also working on a huge analysis on relationships in the show and how they all parallel. They've been cooking in the background, and it's pretty delicious if we do say so ourselves.
Now with all that out the way, let's answer your question!
"I personally believe that she was supposed to be the one to realize that Allura and Lance aren't happy together and that she would eventually help them both to break up and to be with whom they truly love."
And you'd be darn tootin' because guess what?
This quote becomes RELEVANT in Season 8.
LEAVE THE MATH TO PIDGE.
Yup.
She is one of the defining keys; a lighthouse so the ships can find their way.
In short, she's meddling. She's not personally involving herself in their relationship but man, is she trying to show them a big ol' sign that says,
'DO NOT DATE. YOU ARE NOT RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.'
'WE ARE IN AN INTERGALACTIC WAR.'
She thinks it's weird, but most importantly, she's worried the team dynamic will be rocked by their budding romance.
She knows it will probably affect the original team dynamic, forming Voltron, and ultimately, she knows human relationships can be messssssy.
Question for you, fellow readers: What do you think she was speaking to Keith off-screen about here before the MFE pilots bumped into their conversation?
We have an answer on our position but we'd love to hear your thoughts, too.
As Bex mentioned once upon a time, Pidge is Batman. It's true!
All through the season and throughout most of the show, she seems to know everything that's going on.
She accounts for everything and typically has a plan B. Heck, she had a self destruct button for the Castleship on the off chance something went wrong.
What's the hardest thing to tackle that isn't technology? Well, navigating Interpersonal relationships.
In the original season, we allegedly see her struggle with the dynamic shifts as Allura and Lance enter their temporary relationship in the original season. They don't agree on a lot of things, and the team gets rocked and/or involved with these disturbances.
This season explores family and found family on a much deeper level, and this applies to everyone, especially the paladins.
Pidge loves Allura like a sister (hence why she trades the video game). Pidge loves Lance like a brother (hence why she 'helps' find something shiny for Allura).
Naturally, she wants to let them know (in an out of the loop way) that they're not right for each other.
Pidge wants them to be happy in the end, but trust and believe when we say she doesn't want to be involved directly.
That being said, that doesn't stop Pidge from having Beezer meddle on their date, therefore interrupting their kiss in the original season lmao.
Pidge wants to be that guiding light in the right direction, but they also know that it's messy territory that they don't want to touch with a ten feet pole.
It's uncharted territory for Pidge.
Dare I say, Uncharted Regions. Dun, dun, duuuuuun.
See why we chose it as our meta name? haha.
TL;DR: You're on the money, honey. đŻ
Thank you for the question! This was a fun subject to touch on.
#we love pidge in this house#leave the math to pidge#voltron#vld#vld meta#voltron meta#uncharted regions#lotura#klance#allurance#allegedly#pidge holt#vld pidge#pidge gunderson#voltron pidge#macross theory
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Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?
Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.
Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!
But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"
Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.
I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.
Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.
But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.
Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.
Also, we don't censor words here.
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Listen, I know, you all have been seeing fundraiser posts all day long. I've seen people complain that the tags for Palestine are "unusable" now because⊠genocide victims use it to find aid to survive.
Thing is, those posts will be here until Israel ceases it's aggression. And Palestinians will need your aid as far as they are left with no income and besieged. I've tried reaching out to other platforms, and Tumblr is still the best place for at least Falastin (Gazan who I spotlight for more than 2 months) to get donations; because here you don't need thousands of followers to get interactions. And at least we get one in ten response here; on other platforms both of us don't get any.
So yes, a dying website for fandom is her best bet to save her family right now. We don't speak of evacuation anymore (even though we hope for it), this is a battle for day-to-day survival. The prices in Gaza are increasing every hour, and they have no income and Falastin has gone into multiple debts to help them before starting the campaign in June. And yes, she receives more attention now but her family is still in starvation - she tries to support 26 people now, since her cousin was martyred and his 2 children joined 24 of her family in Al-Mawasy.
Yes, they should get free aid from all those countless non-profits that raise millions. But if they see something labelled as "aid" it is because they have bought it themselves. Yes, you can see (and maybe touch!) aid if you subject yourself to hours-long queues and/or humiliation of being a part of a photoshoot. They also said that the aid they get is stale at best and spoiled at worst; and that's again, if they get it.
Yes, there are grassroots organizations but they cannot reach everyone, because they are in small teams and they don't receive a lot of funds. And you can of course donate to them to try "fix" this; but please do not think that it means individual fundraisers are not worth supporting. I did not see any evidence of individual fundraisers "taking" money from others; on the contrary, when Falastin's fundraiser struggles, I see others struggle too. When we celebrate a good day of donations we celebrate it with others too.
And I could talk about Harris campaign get 1 billion in donations and still receiving them or how AO3 got 200k in a couple of days; but the post is getting too long.
Anyway. Please consider donating to Falastin's campaign; the money would buy food and water first, shelter and clothes for the winter second. There's a raffle for hand-made Palestinian thobe that Falastin's friend makes (LINK); and please follow her here.
Donate via Gofundme (in SEK! check rates below please): LINK
10$ = 108 SEK
25$ = 272 SEK
50$ = 544 SEK
100$ = 1,088 SEK
Donate via PayPal (in USD): LINK
Vetting info: #282 in El-Shab-Hussein and Nabulsi's spreadsheet [here], #957 in the Butterfly Project spreadsheet [here]
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Warning || Men Like Me
Masterlist
Fandom: The Last of Us Pairing: Joel Miller x Virgin!Reader Rating: 18+ Warnings: girth age gap, virgin!reader, eventual loss of virginity (not in this chapter), gratuitous descriptions of Joel Miller's body, somewhat creepy!Joel, fetishization of youth, dom!Joel, breaking and entering, playboy magazine, objectification, fingering, sexual discoveries. Word count: 6.2k Summary: Joel's warnings about what men like him would do to girls like you only makes you want him more. A/N: Back in the depths of hell again, you guys. Now this isn't the most depraved thing I've written by any means but it's up there. Come say hi in my chat or inbox, I'd love to talk. Keep a look out for follow up parts and pleeeeease give me comments. I am very very desperate.
Joel Miller was a bad man. That much he knew.Â
Even as he fixed taps and renovated houses that were falling apart, he could see the blood on his hands. The very hands that packed lunches for Ellie snapped necks, pistol whipped men, stole from a starving child so he could feed his grown brother. But there were lows even he didnât stoop down to.Â
Not that he didnât have the opportunity. Men always did. And in this world, opportunities had only tripled. Even the Boston QZ, as strict as it was, had an underground brothel. He knew Tess to frequent it and never asked questions. Sometimes she needed to bury her face between a good pair of thighs and wrap her lips around a pretty pussy, and this wasnât something he could give her. There was a lot he couldnât give her.
Being in Jackson shouldâve civilized him. It did in many ways. Heâd reverted to the southern gentleman with table manners. âYes, Maâamâ spilled out of his lips effortlessly when he spoke to women. He held the door for anyone walking in after him. He even went to Churchâ sorry, the multifaith house of worshipâto help renovate.Â
That was where his troubles began.Â
There was no point in him going where people prayed. Being back in civilization did not erase his decades of disbelief in a cruel God who would take his baby and keep him on this accursed Earth. But he did because he was back to being a contractor and Tommy asked him to go fix up the pews instead of him. He didnât have much time, being a new dad and all.
He was on his knees checking out the rotting wood and evaluating how much wood heâd need for building new ones when he was confronted by a pair of legs and a sweet voice. Yours.Â
âLemonade, Mister Miller?âÂ
He looked up, his eyes traveling up your legs, bare until he got to your knees where the hem of your flowery skirt sat. Pure, unblemished knees, never taken a fall, didnât fucking creak, and never knelt before anyone but God. You looked down sweetly, eyes wide and innocent like a newborn cow. Everyone had a kind of darkness about them in this world. Everyone except the kids who didnât know a world outside the insular walls of Jackson. And you, it turned out, even though you werenât a kid.
He wiped his sweat off with the greasy rag he carried and looked up at you once again. You had a pitcher and an empty glass in your hands. A sweet smile on your lips and hair falling down your shoulders and reaching your breasts. A yellow ribbon sat in a bow where your neckline dipped between your breasts, adding to the innocence of your look.
âYes please, Maâam. Thank you,â he said, giving you a nod. Your pretty plush lips curled up, a giggle escaping them as you poured him a glass of lemonade.Â
His hand brushed against yours as he accepted the glass, his hand too large to curl around it without making contact with you. You giggled again before retracting your hand and occupying it with adjusting your hair.Â
âIâm younger than you, you know? Donât have to call me Maâam.âÂ
âJust being polite. Maâam.â He took the glass to his lips, mindful to take only a small sip instead of downing it in desperation. Another adjustment to make when food was no longer a scarcity. Sweet, sour, and salty danced on his tongue before it glided down his throat. Just a sip refreshed him. And the sight of a nice girl didnât hurt the cause either.Â
Itâd been so long since he had a nice refreshing glass of lemonade. Summers meant worse infestations of infected, not the barbecues, lemonades, and swimming of past. When surviving each hour was under threat, small luxuries like this became out of reach of even oneâs dreams.
âWell, guess I should call you Sir then,â you said, leaning against the wall. You held the pitcher up to your chest and the tails of the ribbon on your chest dipped into it, the soft shiny yellow turning dark, tainted.
His mouth watered and fucking hell, it wasnât the lemonade you just gave him. He took a sip of the drink and licked his lips, imagining how youâd taste if he wrapped his large hand around your neck and pressed his chapped lips to your plush ones. Better yet, if he held your legs apart and devoured you other pair of lips until you were leaking down his mouth. Would you call him Sir then? His cock twitched in his jeans as he pictured you bent over one of these pews, your skirt pushed up and his hand in your hair as he slid his cock in your hole.Â
Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck was wrong with him?Â
âMade the lemonade yourself?â He asked, groaning as he managed to get himself back up on his feet. His knees creaked like the floorboards of the houses he renovated, but ultimately supported him as he stood. He towered over you, making you appear smaller, more fragile.Â
âDepends. Do you like it?âÂ
âItâs wonderful, of course. Hot summer day like thisâŠI really needed it,â he said, raising the glass up a little before taking another sip.Â
âWell then yes, I did make it.â
He chuckled, feeling himself pulled in by your easy charisma. It was nice to have normal conversations like this once again. No agenda, no need for establishing himself as someone who wouldnât hesitate to beat someone up if even mildly threatened. It was justâŠnormal.Â
âItâs very sweet, Maâam. Like you I assume,â he added, mentally dusting off the part of his brain where he stored skills for conversing with pretty girls.
You laughed, holding your free hand up to your mouth to cover your lips that widened and revealed your teeth.Â
âIs that the southern charm that I hear our townspeople talk about?âÂ
âThey talk about my charm? I didnât hear.âÂ
âOh yes, they do⊠Joel Miller, charming pants off of everyone in town.â
âPants? Well thatâs disappointing. I was hoping Iâd charmed some pretty skirts off.âÂ
âLots of experience with that, Mister Miller?â you asked, sliding your hand over the soft fabric of the skirt of your dress. Such delicate fabric. He could fist the hem and give it one tug and itâd rip right off.
âMore ân what you got for sure,â he said, loath to hint at how infrequent his encounters had become in the recent past. Tess died, he did a cross country hike with an annoying kid, he needed to maintain a good reputation in his new town. One buried after the other. Enough to leave a man with nothing but his fist and his imagination. He would kill for a fucking Playboy magazine. Literally. Heâd killed for less.
âWhat do you know about how experienced I am?âÂ
âBeen experiencing longer than youâve been alive, Maâam.âÂ
âOh well. Nothing I canât learn.âÂ
He laughed nervously and stuck his hand in his jeans pocket. Surely you couldnât be flirting⊠Why would a young thing like this flirt with him? He was in his late fifties looking like mid sixties and you were⊠He didnât know. Young.
âIf you could teach me, Mister Miller. Give a girl some experience?â
âIâm sure you can find someone else.âÂ
âOh. Not your type, am I?â you asked, and he deluded himself thinking you sounded disappointed. No chance.Â
He didnât have a type. Long time since he thought of frivolous shit like that. But you shouldnât be his type.Â
âThereâs much more eligible men in town is what Iâm saying,â he said, suddenly hesitant to lie. Lying had never been an issue for him. The right thing was to lie, say you werenât his type so he wouldnât cross lines. Itâd been a long time since he did the right thing.
âIâll be the decider of that,â you said with a shrug of your shoulder before taking the empty glass from him. âHave a good rest of the work day, Mister Miller.â
Later that night, he wrapped his fist around his cock in the privacy of his room. His mind flooded with images of you spread out for him, sweet lips and a sweeter pussy milking him. He couldnât even recall the last time he was with a woman. It was Tess, of course. Sometime before she got thrown in FEDRA jail for the last time. Too fucking long ago.
Surely it was only because itâd been a long time since he got his dick wet. Heâd never, in his entire life, pictured a woman so much younger spreading her legs for him. Sucking his cock. Crying out his name. How old was she even? Not past mid twenties for sure.
It was wrong, he knew, as white hot spend spurted out of his cock and covered his hand. A sour tang took over his mouth as the fog of unadulterated lust cleared up to reveal the ugliness in his head. He shuddered, feeling like something had crawled under his flesh. He hadnât felt guilt like this in so long.Â
Wrong, wrong, wrong.Â
You werenât even as old as his kid would be had she been alive.Â
Heâd known men like that back in the day. Grays in their hair and skin like old leather, but pretty young things old enough to be their daughter hanging off their arm. It was obvious that none of them kept these girls around for love or for their personality. It was always sex and the feeling of self-importance when a sweet young thing paid attention to balding heads, beer bellies and limp dicks that needed a blue pill to get up.Â
Fucking disgusting.Â
He began avoiding you whenever you happened to be in the same space. At the house of worship, the town clinic where you interned, trading days when people exchanged what they had for what they wanted. His eyes never met yours and he always quickly looked away when they stared too long at your uhâŠfeminine featuresâ pretty legs, cute ass, round tits. Where the fuck did you get sundresses anyway? Who kept that shit around in this world?Â
He didnât know that when he avoided you, you took note of him. When he took glances of your features, you memorized his for later in the night when you buried your head in your pillow and pushed your fingers inside your pussy to simulate what it must be like to be with a man.Â
He was older. That much you knew from his grey hair, sun-damaged skin, and gait that exuded bone-deep weariness. You knew Tommy had just turned fifty. Hard to miss occasions that meant a free slice of cake from the canteen. Joel had to be in his mid-fifties at the very least. At first glance, he wasnât what youâd consider handsome. There were younger men in town. Fit and muscular. Didnât groan and scrunch up their faces when they got up. Didnât have lines on their foreheads. No bags under their eyes.Â
Yet there was something about Joel that was more entrancing.Â
After your first meeting when you offered him lemonade, you made sure to visit under the guise of worship. You didnât know much about religion and were conflicted about embracing a god. The only faith you had rested in your medical instruments and the medicines the townâs chemist concocted. But it was a nice place to meet people, to check on healing patients.
The visits were worth it for a glimpse of Joelâs large hands wrapped around his carpentry tools. When the sun was the hottest, he sometimes stripped down to his tank top, giving you a show better than any film played in the community theater. His broad back looked masculine enough in his flannel shirts. But you didnât know desire like the first time you saw him in a white tank, showing off his muscular arms as sweat dripped down his tan skin.
When you pleasured yourself in your room, it took time, imagination, your fingers, and a lot of effort to make slick pool in your pussy. That day, all it took was the sight of Joel Miller working. You sat with your thighs pressed together, rubbing them against each other in the most inconspicuous little movements.Â
Could it be blasphemy if the God who was supposedly orchestrating everything made this man take his shirt off in front of you?
It made no fucking sense. Joel was old. He looked like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed every goddamn day. He had been chewed up and spat out by whatever the fuck was outside Jackson these days. Hardened expressions, graying patchy beard, hands calloused from carpentry and decades of using weaponry. Features that only indicated a long life lived, not attractiveness.
You were supposed to be attracted to the soft, sweet ones like the guys in the worn out copies of romance stories that the previous inhabitant of your house stashed in the basement. Even his little brother would be a more reasonable target for your lust. Younger, taller, softer, head full of dark, silky hair with few grays. But you wanted Joel Miller with his rough graying beard that would prick your skin were you to cup his cheek like the women on the novel covers.Â
Something about him just screamed Man. Something that none of the other guys in town had. There was nothing wrong with any of the other Jackson men, but none of them made you want to take the plunge and lose your virginity. It wasnât the lack of offers, per se. Youâd gotten looks from many eligible Jackson bachelors. You had drinks with a few of them. Dinner with fewer and shared a kiss with more than one. Alright, two. But anything beyond that had you trembling in anxiety.Â
It wasnât anything precious to you, virginity. But youâd waited so long. Focused so long only on survival and then helping to build this town and now training to become a doctor. Whatever passed for doctor these days. With all your life dedicated to everything but your love life, you simply had no experience. What if you messed up and they laughed? You knew anatomy, but that didnât translate to practical stuff. What if you couldnât make them feel good? Youâd have to see the guy all the damn time in the small town. There would be no escaping the awkwardness.
Sure it was counterintuitive to keep pushing away sexual encounters because you had no experience. But you didnât know what else to do. You were too old already to not have done anything. But each day that passed with you rejecting perfectly nice men meant you were getting even older for your first time.Â
You didnât know where Joel fit into your need for exploring your sexuality, but it didnât hurt to stare. God knew everyone else in Jackson did.Â
So you stared. Work with his carpentry tools. Riding on horseback into Jackson after patrol. Helping with the fucking sheep. Walking around with Tommy. Carrying his nephew around town. It should be inappropriate to be fantasizing about a man when he was doing something as innocent as carrying a baby. But seeing his large hand cradling the babyâs little head made you want to scream into your pillow and kick your legs.Â
âYou alright, sweetheart?âÂ
Your heart fluttered and you let out a nervous laugh at being caught. You smoothed out the wrinkles on your clothes just to make it look like you were alright. Unfortunately you were wearing a pair of fucking jeans. You didnât even want to know how awkward you looked.Â
ââm alright, Mister Miller.âÂ
âJoelâs fine,â he said, rocking his nephew in his arms.
Oh fuck, his fucking arms!
âOh I donât know,â you said, fidgeting with a belt loop on your jeans. âWouldnât want to be impolite addressing you by your first name like that.â
He smiled, recalling your conversation from the house of worship when you called him Sir and had him fucking himself in the shower to the memory. âAh. âcause Iâm an old man,â he said, more as a reminder to himself to fucking behave.Â
âYouâre not that oldâŠâ you trailed, looking him over in a way that set fire to every inch of skin that you laid eyes on.
Behave, Miller. Youâre out with your nephew.Â
âThat so?â he asked, eyebrow raised.Â
âMhmm. You donât look a day over seventy.âÂ
He snorted, making Miles stir in his arms just a little. That stung a little. It shouldnât. Your estimation of his age, whether you were serious or not, was reminder enough that he was too old to be lusting after you.
âThanks. Iâm actually eighty-two.âÂ
You giggled your pretty little giggle, lowering your gaze to the ground and looking back up only when it had turned into a wide grin. âHow old are you actually?â
âOld. Fifty six.âÂ
âFifty-six isnât that oldâŠâ you trailed as you brought a hand up to his bicep. Joel gulped, praying to the non-existent God that you would stop before praying to the same God that you would keep your hand right there. God answered his second prayer. You squeezed, licked your lips and looked up at him with your doe eyes.
âChecking if the hardware is still working, Doctor?âÂ
âIâm not a doctor yet.âÂ
âWhen do you become one then? Ainât no Harvard handing out medical degrees in this town.â
âHoward?â you asked, squinting at him. Ah, of course you didnât know. Harvard didnât mean the same thing to you. Now it was just like every other building in Boston. Run over by infected. These ones were just the nerdy kind with glasses on.
âThat was a thing, too. But I said Harvard. They were big universities back then.â
âAh. Did you go there?â You asked, with no malice or bite. Oh, bless your heart. No one expected a dummy like him to have gone to university at all, much less Harvard. No one in his family had gone. Sarah was meant to be the first.
âYeah. Traded some oxy and threw molotovs at clickers in the campus.âÂ
You rewarded him with a giggle and that was incentive enough for him to keep going. âGuys like me didnât get into Harvard. Or Howard. Didnât even go to community college. I finished high school and got a job in construction.âÂ
âYou didnât go to uhâŠconstruction college?â You asked, cocking your head and raising an eyebrow as though testing out the term.
âNo such thing. Well, there were civil engineering programs, but I just learned on the job.âÂ
âLike me.âÂ
âGuess so. I see you reading from all those fat medical books. But thereâs no need to study any books in construction. âcept if you wanna be an engineer or architect or something, which Iâm not.âÂ
âMaybe you should write one. We could all do with some knowledge from before. Itâs important to document it, pass it on to Ellie and little Miles over there.âÂ
âI ainât writing books, sweetheart. Donât think I even remember how to write much. Iâll just keep to fixing things up in this town. So, if you need some help with your placeâŠIâm happy to help.â It was the least he could do. Maybe as some kind of penance for having impure thoughts about you. Or as a fucked up trade for starring in the mental images he conjured to jack off in the shower.
âThere is something, actually. But I donât have anything to trade for, so Iâll wait until I do,â you said, clasping your hands behind your back and swaying in place in an endearing manner.
âNonsense. You patched me up just last week. Youâve done enough for the townâs health to not have to trade for anything ever again.âÂ
âWell, no. Thatâs not how it should be⊠Itâs peopleâs health. Canât put a price on that.â
âBelieve it or not, health had a steep price back in the day. Cost four thousand something just to give birth. Double that if they had to cut you open.â And that was just how much it cost when Sarah was born. He was sure it had only gone up by 2003. If he hadnât worked his ass off, there was no way he couldâve escaped debt. It helped that his Ma and his then wifeâs parents helped with childcare. Wouldâve been even more expensive without that.
âDamn. I donât know how much that is, sinceâŠyâknow we donât have money now. But that sounds like a big number. It shouldnât cost anything just to be born.âÂ
âTell me about it,â he said, shaking his head. âBut listen. Anything you want fixed, Iâll help out. You can give me something later if youâre worried. I know Ellieâs always on the look for new books to read and you seem to have a lot of them.âÂ
âNothing Ellie would like. Not like the special limited edition of Savage Starlight or anything. Just medical textbooks and romance novels.âÂ
âWe could trade for the lemonade from that afternoon,â he insisted, desperate to do something for you. Take care of you as you took care of everyone who walked into the clinic be it papercuts or a fucking knife in their abdomen.Â
âAlright. Trade for the lemonade it is then,â you said, giving in to his pressure.
âNow tell me. What dâya need fixed?âÂ
âââ
It had been a few days since Joel promised to fix your shower for you. Each time he came by and rang your doorbell, you hid somewhere away from your windows. When he caught sight of you in public, you quickly walked away or engaged in conversation with someone else. You didnât need shit fixed. Everything in your house was perfectly alright. Tommy and his guys had given the place a complete makeover just a couple months before Joel and Ellie arrived.Â
You were no paragon of honesty, but you didnât make lying a habit. There were a few white lies here and there and this was meant to be one of them. It just didnât fucking hit you that if you lied to a contractor that your shower was broken, he would eventually come over to fucking fix it. All your desperate sex starved brain wanted that day was for Joel Miller to come use his tools in your room and flex those muscles while at it.
So invested were you in that particular fantasy that as you unwound after a long shift at the clinic, it was with Joelâs beefy arms in mind. You stood in front of your mirror, taking in your reflection. One of the magazines youâd found in a box under your bed laid open on the dressing table. Playboy. Entertainment for Men. Each had a scantily clad woman on the cover. And many more inside.Â
You made comparisons to yourself and the woman in the center page of the issue.
She stood in front of a dressing table too, but much different from how you stood. Her legs were on either side of her dressing table chair and her hands on the top of it. Between her arms were breasts, big and round and with smooth skin. They didnât have any marks on them like yours. No moles, no stretch marks. Just plain. And she just stood there, soft brown hair down, tickling the top of her breasts and her lips parted as she gazed at you. No, at the men she was meant to entertain in this menâs entertainment magazine. All she had on was panties that went high up to her flat belly that connected to high transparent socks.
You reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, wishing that you had something nicer like the woman on the cover of another one of the magazines. Bright red and showing off her breasts wonderfully, but pulled down to reveal almost everything. What was the point of a bra then if it didnât cover or support anything? Entertainment, you decided. Men seemed to be very entertained by breasts.Â
Many a man had stared at yours even though you had them behind layers of fabric unlike the naked women of the magazines. Many had conversations with them instead of your face. Some brushed up against them âaccidentallyâ. Joel thought he was being covert, but you felt his brown eyes rove all over them. You thought maybe that he too would brush up against it sometime, but he never did. Maybe entertainment stopped at just looking, as in the magazines.Â
You wondered if Joel sought out menâs entertainment magazines like this. He was from before everything went to shit, so it was very possible that he did. Did he like the women in these pages, sticking their asses out and looking through the pages at him? Would he be entertained if he saw you like this?Â
You didnât know that if you turned your head to your bedroom door, you would have your answer. Joelâs cock strained against his already tight jeans as he stood awestruck by your figure. He swallowed as you held on to the top of the chair and lifted your knees, one after the other and placed them on the plush seat. You arched your back, a little too much at first before reducing the curve. Your ass stuck out enticingly and he didnât know whether to grab, squeeze, slap, or spread your cheeks apart and fuck your ass.Â
He should leave.Â
It was stupid of him to walk into your house with a box of plumbing tools to fix your shower when you hadnât yet given him a date or time for it. Plus you were avoiding him. Running away with your little friends and picking up stuff to hide your face from his view. He was plenty sure that when heâd rung your doorbell, you werenât always away from home.Â
He should leave.Â
Fixing the shower could wait. He could confront you some other day.Â
But you were putting on such a pretty little show in nothing but your panties and he was only a man. A bad one.Â
His boots stayed put on your hardwood floors as you enjoyed yourself in front of the mirror. You spread your knees and let your fingers between your thighs, eyes closed, lips parted and low whines escaping your lips in just a few minutes. He palmed his growing erection over his jeans, consequences of being caught be damned. He was a foul beast already. What bad was another sin on the list? Besides, you were the one whoâd left the fucking door open.Â
Your soft whimpers grew into moans as you brought yourself closer and he forced his feet to stay put despite their urge to walk up to you and give you something to really moan about.Â
âFuuâ mmm Joel, pleeease.â
He let out a gasp, all his restraint flying out the window as soon as he heard his name from your lips. You couldnât actually be doing this⊠There had to be another Joel in town. Younger, better looking, smarter.
Your voice grew needy and the pitch higher as you kept at it. âFuck, fuck, fuck! Gimme it, Sir.âÂ
No, it couldnât be anyone else.Â
Joel toed his boots off and took quiet steps towards you, emboldened by the filth that spilled from your lips. If this old man was what you wanted, he wouldnât stop himself from reaping the benefits. He wasnât a goddamn saint. Never was.Â
He stopped in front of you, surprised you still hadnât sensed his presence. As though the universe heard his thoughts, it had you open your eyes. You gasped as soon as you saw him and buckled off the chair, but Joel caught you. You shuddered, unable to cope with the sudden touch.Â
âJ-Joel?âÂ
âYeah, sweetheart,â he said, touching your cheek with the back of his hand. You whined, your body molding itself against his chest. You brought a hand to his arm, feeling the rock hard muscles underneath his sleeves and your other hand worked between your legs. Â
Your fingers no longer felt adequate as you felt his large fingers on your cheek. âWant you, please,â you whined, desperate to return to the edge where you had been right before you saw him.Â
âYou donât know what youâre asking of meâŠâ he spoke dangerously, soft brown eyes clouded with a kind of desire you had longed to see in him for weeks.Â
âWant youâŠwant you to be with me,â you repeated stupidly, your desperation clouding your senses too much for you to say anything else. While in the past you only wanted to get rid of your virginity, your goals had become more specific with his arrival. You wanted him. You wanted his big hands and broad shoulders, to hold on to them as you rode him. To watch his grumpy expressions turn to ecstasy under you.Â
âTell me not to touch you,â he said, his tone low and almost threatening. Any other threat from him, you wouldâve heeded. But not this one.Â
âTouch me!âÂ
It was as though something in him snapped at your words. While darkness only loomed over him before, it now completely took over.The hand that previously only caressed your cheek now wrapped itself around your neck. Before you could completely process the move, his other hand slapped yours away. He replaced two of your puny fingers with his middle finger, eliciting a strained moan from you.Â
âTouching yourself to a Playboy magazine, huh?âÂ
You only nodded, unable to form words now that a fantasy of yours had finally come to life.
âDirty little thingâŠThought you were a nice girl and all. Helpinâ out at the clinic, head buried in books all the time. Turns out you actually got your head in dirty magazines.âÂ
You whined, your pussy clenching and gushing around his finger at the way he was speaking to you. The same man who insisted on calling you Maâam despite your protests was calling you a dirty girl now. The veil of respectability seemed to have floated away at the sight of you naked and pleasuring yourself. Had you known that this was all you needed to get Joel Miller to touch you, you wouldâve done it much sooner.
He added another finger, the girth of him enough to stretch you more than you had done for yourself. You brought a hand up to his shoulder and fisted his shirt, needing something to anchor yourself to.Â
âYou ever been taken by a man, sweetheart?â He asked, his tone too cool and casual for what he was doing to you. You shuddered, partly from his phrasingâ taken, he said. Taken. Like you were a thing. Like the women in the magazines positioned so uncomfortably just so their breasts could look a certain way for the picture. Printed on the cover page with the words Entertainment for Men written on top. You shook your head, feeling small as you confessed it for the first time.Â
âAny man?âÂ
âN-no,â you managed to breathe out, whimpering at the way the bulge beneath his jeans twitched at your simple answer. He took a step to position himself behind you, letting you lean your back against his chest. The angle at which he touched your pussy changed, opening your world up to a wonderful new kind of pleasure.Â
âA virgin. Pretty young things like you ainât for men like me,â he whispered in your neck, making you shiver. His thumb roamed between your legs as far as they could reach, caressed you gently, his softness with you contradicting his warning about men like him. The hand around your neck slithered down your torso, cold air forcing you to face your new desire of having your breath kept hostage.Â
He took your left breast in hand, squeezing the flesh like someone starved would hold on to a piece of bread. It felt more like a punctuation to the warning he issued than a part of sex. Just then, his thumb between your legs stopped its search, stopping a little above the fingers inside you.
A moan you didnât recognize as yours at first filled the room and you buckled forward. Blunt nails sunk into the flesh of your breast as he saved you before you could fall. He hauled you back up, making you collide against his chest.Â
You gasped and quickly grabbed the hand between your legs, the sensation too intense for you to know what to do with. His thumb kept on, rolling over something there that set your person on fire.Â
âFuuuck! Joelâ Iâ Iâ hnnngââ
âI know, sweetheart,â he crooned, keeping at whatever the hell he was doing to make you feel this way.Â
âPlease⊠I donâtâ what was that?âÂ
You felt his chest rumble before you heard his laughter. Heat rose to your face and your throat felt strained though there was no hand around it anymore.Â
âNever touched your clit? Do you even know what that is?â He mocked, the cruelty somehow not repelling you from him. He forced you to look up at him. Your heart lurched at how close you were to his face. You could see every gray hair, every minute blemish and line.
âDonât know your own fucking body but you want a man? You donât know what youâre handing me on a silver platter. I ainât like the other guys in town. I walked across the fucking country and lemme tell ya, thereâs no pretty things like you out there. Iâm starved.âÂ
âTake me, then,â you begged, using his own words from earlier. âPlease. Whatever youâ a-aaah!âÂ
He ramped up the pressure on that spotâ your clitâ and with it, took your ability to speak coherently. It was as though heâd done it on purpose. You hated it. To be so bereft of control. To be a puppet in someoneâs hand. For someone to acquaint themselves with parts of you that you didnât know of. But it was too much to fight, so you let go. Let him play with you. Take you. Like a thing.
You renounced control of your lips too, his name slipping out effortlessly like it did when he caught you. Then you renounced what was left of your dignity and began begging relentlessly. For what, you didnât know. In his hand, youâd gone from woman to pupper, your strings pulled by a man, your voice now his. Sounds that would be indiscernible from that of a wounded animal emanated from somewhere deep within you.Â
Perhaps none of this was real. Why else did your own voice grow so distant from you? Why did your vision become blurry? Your thighs shook uncontrollably and your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. Your eyes clenched shut, depriving you of your blurred vision. Your toes curled. You wanted to shrink into yourself, shrink away from all this goodness. You went higher and higher, soaring like a bird. Every nerve ending in your body felt electrified, awoken like one switch turned on every light on last winterâs Christmas tree.Â
You let out a loud cry, the soaring bird in you reaching its peak before beginning its fall to the ground. You could hear your breaths again, labored but doing everything to stabilize itself. Your thighs still shook. Your chest rose and fell. A hand caressed your hand. Behind you, something strong supported your back. Kept you from falling backward.Â
âJoelâŠâÂ
âI know, I knowâŠâ he whispered into your head. You opened your eyes and looked up at him, surprised to see a softer visage. He picked you up off the chair like youâd seen him lift giant logs before. With ease. You didnât protest as he carried you. Didnât protest when he laid you out on your bed.Â
He bent down and picked something up. No questions, no instructions. He simply spread your leg away from the other. Cold air touched the gushing mess dripping out of you and you shivered, feeling a sudden need to cover yourself but unable to defy him. His hand was on your pussy again. His hardened, calloused fingers behind a soft fabric this time. He wiped upwards, collecting the mess he made out of you. When he lifted the fabric up, you realized it was your panties.Â
He tucked it into the pocket of his jeans and then looked back at your face, the intensity of his gaze making you want to run. Problem was your weak legs wouldnât take you anywhere. You didnât screw your eyes shut. You didnât pull your blanket to conceal yourself. You looked back at him, defiant. Like you were trying to prove something. I can handle a man like you.Â
âBe a good girl from now.âÂ
That and a condescending pat on your pussy and he was gone.
â
Part 2
#joel miller#joel tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x oc#joel miller x original character#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller age gap#joel miller fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#tlou smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfic#all that i've inflicted on the world
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Kinktober Day 1 - Hickeys - LN4
It is day one of my first Kinktober! I have been wanting to do one for years on different accounts and in different fandoms but I have finally started earlier enough to actually pump out an imagine a day!
All posts will be made at 12 PST according to the day
Lando Norris X Reader
TW - Hickeys, use of word whore, jealous sex, shower sex, unprotected sex, creampie
WC - 1400+
Y/N POV
"We're leaving," Lando said while pulling me away from the conversation I was currently having with Max.
"Lando! Stop, I'm trying to have a conversation, stop being rude," I said while pulling my arm out of his grip and trying to make my way back to Max.
"You've had enough conversation with him to last a lifetime! I've watched you giggling with Verstappen for the past 10 minutes. He cannot be that fucking funny! We are leaving now," Lando said while taking ahold of my hand and pulling me towards the exit.
Once we got outside and the loud blare of the noisy club behind us I can finally talk to Lando without having to shout.
"Lando, what the actual fuck was that?" I questioned him while we were waiting for our car to arrive from Vallet.
"I have barely seen you tonight and when I finally located you, you're practically on top of Max!" Lando replies back clearly mad about the situation.
"Lando Norris... Are you fucking kidding me right now? You're jealous of Max!" I reply back trying to hold my laugh back. Lando and I had been together since his rookie season so watching him get jealous over someone I had never once shown an interest in was quite funny.
"I'm not jealous of him, Y/N. But you don't need to all over him in a public setting like that!" Lando replies back before grabbing the keys from the young man who just returned the Porsche to the front of the club.
Once we got into the car it was fairly silent other than the noise of our breathing.
"You're ridiculous" I break the silence making Lando scuff.
"You're the ridiculous one! I don't understand how you aren't seeing the problem! You're over there flirting with my closest rival on the grid while you're in a very public relationship! You know how the media can be," Lando replies back. I just roll my eyes at how ridiculous his behavior has gotten.
"Lando you know damn well I would never even LOOK at Max like that! I have never once been interested in him, and I NEVER will be! You have never once had a problem with me being friends with the grid, do not start acting like this now because you are in a championship battle with him," I tell him while we pull into the garage of his Monaco appartment.
When I get out of the car I slam the door and make my way to the elevator trying to avoid Lando as much as possible.
The ride up to Lando's apartment was silent and awkward, both of us reflecting on the actions of the night.
When we finally get into the apartment I make my way into the bathroom before stripping down and getting in the shower knowing I need to clear my head before Lando and I can have a mature conversation.
I'm not even halfway through my shower before I hear the bathroom door open making me turn around and find Lando coming in shirtless and starting to unbutton his pants. Once he is stripped down he climbs into the shower with me.
I roll my eyes at him before turning my back towards him.
This was Lando's final straw because the next thing I know I am pushed up against the shower wall with Lando's chest pushed against my back.
"Drop the fucking attitude! I wasn't the one whoring myself out," Lando seethes out into my ear. When I don't respond to him he starts kissing behind my ear and down my neck.
Once he finds my sweet spot it leaves me gasping in shock before I feel his teeth sink into my neck and start sucking.
"Lando," I moan out. Once Lando pulls away from me I turn my head slightly to watch him observe the mark that is inevitably starting to darken on the side of my neck.
Without words, Lando takes my hips into his hands before aggressively spinning me around so we are face-to-face.
When I look into Lando's eyes I can see the lust swimming through them.
I grip onto Lando's neck pulling him down for an aggressive make-out session. It's not long before Lando is pulling back and trailing kisses down my jaw and neck again.
The feeling of Lando's teeth sinking into my warm skin has my knees growing weaker. Once Lando makes it to my tits I feel myself give out to the pleasure and if Lando wasn't holding me up I definitely would have been on my knees from the pleasure.
"Fuck," I gasp out when Lando takes my nipple between his teeth and biting down softly.
When I glance down at Lando all I see is his wet curls and little purple marks trailing down from my neck to my tits. I can't remember the last time Lando had given me a hickey let alone a whole collection of them.
"Lan please," I whine out trying to push him lower.
I get no response from Lando but he does start making his way lower down my body. All I feel is Lando continuing his trail of hickeys down my stomach leading his way to my soaked pussy.
When he finally reaches the spot I wanted him most instead of diving right in like he normally does he starts leaving hickeys all over my thighs. He has one of my legs in his hand giving him the perfect space to continue to tease me.
With the death I have on his hair I try to pull him close to my dripping core but instead, he makes his way to my other thigh but not before leaving a long lick from my dripping hole to my throbbing clit. This has me gasping for air thinking I was finally going to get what I wanted but Lando had other plans.
"Please, Lan," I whine out not knowing how much more of this teasing I can handle.
"Patience," All Lando says before starting his trail of hickeys again.
It feels like forever before I can feel Lando slowing making his way back to my soaking pussy. When he finally gets to the spot I needed him the most I let out a loud shrink when I feel Lando's teeth sinking down softly on my throbbing clit, before releasing it with his teeth and starting to suck on it.
"Fuck Lando," I moan out knowing I won't be lasting long if he continues this assault on my overly sensitive clit.
"I'm close," I moan out. This had Lando pulling away making me whine out from the loss of contact.
Lando doesn't say anything before he flips me back around so my chest is pressed against the shower wall.
It doesn't take long before I can feel Lando teasing my entrance with his hard tip. When he finally pushed in I let out a loud moan not knowing how to handle the overwhelming pleasure of being so full.
Lando starts thrusting in and out at a quick and rough pace. It doesn't take me long before I can feel my orgasm building again.
"Fucking, cum," Lando aggressively moans out making me explode all over Lando's cock.
"Fuck," I moan out feeling the early signs of overstimulation start to take course.
"Lan, fuck, please," I moan out not really knowing what I want.
"You're going to cum again," Lando grunts out making up my mind for me. I can already feel my second orgasm start to build when Lando reached around and started rubbing my clit which threw me over the edge again. This orgasm was stronger than the first leaving me shaking all over Lando's cock.
"I'm gonna cum in you," Lando whispers in my ear before I felt him slow his pace down but continue with the strong thrusts. When he finally spills into my still throbbing pussy I can feel how much cum he is pumping deep into me.
"Fuck," Lando groans out before slowly slipping out and allowing some of the cum to drip out of my pussy.
When we finally came down from our strong orgasms we finish our shower together before getting out. Lando gets out first and wraps his towel around his waist before grabbing the second towel and wrapping it around my body before helping me out.
When I finally get a good look in the mirror I can see just how much damage Lando had done to my skin. Just from my neck to chest I can see at least 8 hickeys ranging from small light purple marks to bigger deeper purple marks.
When I make eye contact with Lando in the mirror I see the smug look he is giving me.
"Well now he knows you're mine," Lando says with a small shrug before walking out of the bathroom, leaving me shaking my head at his petty jealousy.
#f1#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#formula 1 x you#formula one imagines#lando norris#f1 smau#ln4#formula one smau#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#lando x reader imagine#lando norris imagines#lando x reader#kinktober#landoscar#lando smut#f1 smut#lando norris smut
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A Woman's Worth - Anthony Bridgerton x Reader
Summary:Â Anthony tries to salvage what's left of his marriage and discovers what his wife is truly worth. (Part one)
Fandom:Â Bridgerton (TV Show)
Pairing:Â Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader
Warnings:Â mentions of miscarriage, cheating and lots of angst. English is not my first language and this wasnât proofread.
Word Count: 4648
A/N: After so long, this piece is finally here. Thanks for patiently waiting and thanks @cevansgoodgirl for the help.
There is a mix of a scene with Laurie and Amy in Little Women and another one with Benedict and Tessa (the model/painter in 02x05), just so you know.
He remembers the first time he saw herâreally saw her.
The (Y/L/N)s were guests in Aubrey House, and (Y/N) was in the balcony with Benedict while both their mothers and most of their siblings were in the lawn.
Anthony is not even sure what drew his attention when he was passing by, he did not have a habit of eavesdropping, but he got himself held back when his brother commented on (Y/N)âs painting.
"I declare that's rather good." Benedict said making (Y/N) huff.
âWe both know that good is not enough, Ben.â She said with a hint of sadness in her voice.
Anthony could understand what his brother was talking about. The painting was a rendition of the scene unfolding before themâtheir siblings playing around while their mothers watched over them. It was rather good, indeed.
"It doesnât matter, there's no place for me to do art."
Benedict frowned. "That's quite the statement to make at twenty. If you don't think you're good enough you have plenty of time to try some more, do better." He pauses, poking her. "You say that to me all the time."
"Then perhaps inform the academy.â She says, sarcasm dripping in every word. âAlthough two of the founding members are women, we are still not allowed to enter the classroom. It doesn't matter how much money we do or do not have."
"At least not while clothed." He comments, making (Y/N) throw the rag she was holding at him, which Benedict swiftly catches, changing the subject. "Well, now that youâve given up all your artistic hopes, what are you going to do with your life?â
âPolish up my other talents and be an ornament to society.â
It was as if Anthony was seeing his sister speak.
âYou sound like Eloise.â Benedict took the words out of Anthonyâs mouth.
âMaybe she has been rubbing up on me.â (Y/N) smiled.
âYou are searching for a husband, then?â Benedict asks, helping her pack her things.
âYes.â She replies sheepishly.
âThat's where Mr Scott comes in, I suppose.â
Anthony had noticed how Mr Scott had taken an interest in (Y/N), he never thought she felt the same.
Benedict continued. âYouâll accept him if he comes down properly on one knee?â
âMost likely, yes.â She said, pausing to look ahead for a moment. âHeâs rich, respectable.â
When Benedict stifles a laugh, she lightly slaps his arm and Anthony has to fight back a smile. âDonât make fun.â (Y/N) reprimands him.
"Iâm not, Iâm not, I promise.â He pauses. âIt does sound odd coming from you.â
"I've always known that I would marry rich. Why should I be ashamed of that?"
"There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you love him." Benedict answers in a more serious tone.
Once upon a time Anthony would have easily seen himself at his brother's place, talking about love, but not anymore.
"Well, I believe we have some power over who we love, it isn't something that just happens to a person." (Y/N) says, closing the trunk with her paints, pencils and brushes inside.
"I think the poets might disagree." Benedict offers softly.
"Well, I'm not a poet, I'm just a woman.â She reminds him. âAnd as a woman I have no way to make money, not enough to earn a living and support my family. Even if I had my own money, which I don't, it would belong to my husband the minute we were married. If we had children they would belong to him not me. They would be his property. So don't stand there and tell me that marriage isn't an economic proposition, because it is. It may not be for you but it certainly is for me."
For the first time since he stopped to hear the conversation, hiding himself between the curtains, Anthony felt like he had overstepped a boundary, so he made quick work of fleeing the scene, her words echoing inside his head.
Anthony remembers Benedict joking about how him and (Y/N) would make a good match. He listens as his brother tells him about the conversation he had with her and Anthony feigns ignorance to the subject, despite having heard the entire interaction. Benedictâs voice turns into white noise in the background as Anthony is transported back to a conversation he had with Daphne last season.
At the time he didnât understand his sisterâs wordsâperhaps, he never would. Daphne and (Y/N) shared the same struggles, but his sister had been set in marrying for love, (Y/N), on the other hand, had already resigned herself about having to marry for convenience.
It was then that Anthony recognized that the both of them were, indeed, a good match. (Y/N) was beautiful, well mannered, educated and very good at charming people. She came from a not very rich but respectable family. Anthony knew he was one of the most eligible bachelors of the season, despite his fame as a rake. It wouldnât be a sacrifice to marry (Y/N), which made making the decision so much easier.
Anthony visited her the next day, explaining his proposal to her.
âYou listened to us?â She blinked a couple of times, trying to digest the information.
âYes,â he confessed, âand Iâm terribly sorry for it, but we have to recognize that this might have been for the best.â
He observed as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling, a little frown on her face. She was beautiful this way. Even more than when she was charming half of the ton in the many social events he had seen her.
âIf you donât mind me asking, my lord, why marry now?â
Anthony sighed. âMy mom has been forcing my hand since Daphne married. Even before that, if Iâm being honest. Itâs time to find a good wife, settle down, and fulfill my duties.â
âDonât take my question as an offense, but why me?â
She seemed unable to quite grasp his words. Anthony wondered if she still hoped, deep down, to marry for love and that her conversation with his brother had been only a fickle attempt to protect herself.
âYouâre intelligent, (Y/N),â He kneeled in front of her. âYou are beautiful and your family is respectable. If you are serious about your words to my brother, we both want the same thing from such a union.â He paused. âWould it be so bad to be married to me?â
(Y/N) bit her lip and Anthony caught himself observing the action with a little more intent than he should.
âNo, my lord, I believe it wouldnât,â she said.
âThen why not make the best we can from a predicament we canât escape?â
She averted his gaze, looking out to the balcony where her maid was sitting and reading a book, while watching over them.
Anthony took the opportunity to look at herâhair carefully brushed and pinned up, the way the light contrasted with her silhouette, making it easier to see her nose, her lips, the curve of her neckâŠ
âIf I were to accept your proposition, would you be committed to this relationship?â
He frowned. âI donât understand.â
âI know that for our society standards maybe thatâs too much to ask, but if I canât be loved Iâd wish to at least be respected.â She looked straight into his eyes and then Anthony understood what she was asking of him.
âYou have my word that once we are engaged the only woman in my life will be you.â
Anthony asked her father for permission to court her in the same day, then he got properly down on one knee a second time to ask for her hand in marriage, the two of them married within months. Benedict had been shocked by the whole ordeal, but all he cared about was seeing his brother and his friend at least a little bit happy.
The process of knowing each other had been smooth, a lot easier than what Anthony first anticipated. (Y/N) took her duties as the lady of the house seriously, making a point of listening to Violet quite often. His siblings seemed to adore her even more than they liked him, and although inexperienced, as he knew she was, (Y/N) had proved herself to be a good lover. For all of those reasons, Anthony thought that keeping his promise wouldnât be such an impossible task.
Then he discovered that Sienna had never left town and Anthony, who always prided himself in being a man of his word, proved himself to be as bad as the rest of the men he was surrounded by.
He fell back into the sheets with Sienna, and not long after that his relationship with (Y/N) became purely a show. At first, Anthony thought his wife was oblivious to his escapades, but he had clearly underestimated (Y/N)âs intelligence.
They never shared a bedroom, but there was no disguising how his visits to her chambers happened less and less, as there was no denying the gossip of the house staff that could only lead her to his broken promises.
Anthony expected a fight, things being thrown at him, screams and hits, but they never came, and that was somewhat worse.
One night when he got home after meeting Sienna, (Y/N) was sitting in the dressing room between their chambers, knitting. She lifted her eyes from her work to bid him good night. It didnât go unnoticed to him how her smile fell from her face as she took in his disheveled state. Anthony felt ashamed for the first time in years.
(Y/N) didnât give him time to explain himself for being so lateâmaybe it was for the best because he honestly didnât know if he could find a suitable excuse for thatâshe just got up, leaving her unfinished work resting in the loveseat, and marched to her room.
Anthony sighed, throwing his coat away carelessly. The force knocked out (Y/N)âs knitting to the ground and Anthony groaned before bending down to take it. He furrowed his brow when he recognized the patternâan onesie.
Maybe Daphne was pregnant again? She wouldâve told him, right? Simon would, for sure. Then it hit him. Holding the unfinished piece between his fingers, Anthony realized that that was the reason why (Y/N) had stayed awake waiting for him until that hourâshe was pregnant and wanted to tell him the news. Instead of the happiness she must have expected, she only received the sight of an unfaithful husband and a broken marriage.
(Y/N) never mentioned it to him and Anthony pretended as if he didnât know, waiting for her to make the first move, tell him at her own time. (Y/N) never said it though, but he couldnât ignore the knowledge, and the more time he passed observing her, the more evident it became to him that his wife was, in fact, expecting their first child.
In no time she distanced herself from him and all came to the point of no return in the night where she had gone through the loss of their child alone while he was rolling in the sheets with Sienna.
Anthony tried to reach out to her, succeeding only one time, a week after that fateful night, but in the following weeks, there hadnât been much talking between them. (Y/N) would barely answer his greetings or the occasional question he threw her way trying to start a conversation. They had a few events to attend and these were the only occasions where she would grant him more than a couple of words. Anthony knew that that was all pretend for the sake of their reputation.
She refused every attempt he made to apologize or explain himselfânot that there was much to explain. He couldnât blame her, even if he wanted her forgiveness. It was her right to hate him and not want him around after he broke his promise to her.
They had never talked about it. Not until today.
(Y/N) was holding Augie, smiling down at the baby that smiled back at her, barely blinking with a look of pure adoration in his eyes.
âThis one seems really enchanted by you,â Daphne comments, caressing her sonâs little fingers.
âHeâs just getting used to me,â (Y/N) answered, smiling at his sister.
âWell, itâs good training, since I guess you and Anthony will probably have one of your own soon.â
Is as if Anthonyâs blood turns to ice. He looks at his wife whose expression turns into shock and then sadness in the blink of an eye. He recognizes the tears pooling in her eyes as she gives the baby back to Daphne and excuses herself, leaving the drawing room too quick not to draw attention.
He hurries back after her. Simon gives him an apologetic look to which Anthony answers with an equally sad smile. It doesnât take him long to find her, bend down in the windowsill of one of the windows of the library, one hand covering her mouth to muffle her sobbing while the other rested on her belly.
(Y/N) doesnât hear his approach, but when he touches her as if she was expecting him too. She jumps as far away from him as she can get as if his touch burned her.
âDonât touch me! DonâtâŠâ she doesnât finish the sentence but Anthony could hear it loud and clear in his head.
Donât touch me with the same hands youâve touched her just a week ago.
âOkay, itâs okay,â Anthony reassures her, raising his hands so she can see them. âI wonât touch you if you donât want me too, but I want to help you.â
âNobody can help me,â she sobs, hands clutching tightly at her dress.
The sight breaks his heart. Anthony wants nothing more than to take her pain away and make it his, even though he is mourning the loss of their child with her. He knew her pain was fairly worse than his, she did not only lose a child but she had been losing her husband too.
âWhy, Anthony? Why us? There are so many couples that donât love each other and still have children, why canât we?â
Anthony takes a step forward, then two, and then heâs bringing her into his arms, wrapping her tightly against his chest, his chin resting at the top of her head. She struggles against his touch a little, but sheâs so worn out that it doesnât take much for her to relax into him.
(Y/N) fists the lapels of his waistcoat, resting her forehead against his chest, letting herself cry.
âI wanted them so bad, Anthony,â she whispers between sobs, âso bad.â
Me too, he wants to answer. Me too.
They stay in the library, in silence, for a while. When (Y/N) finally stops crying, exhausted, Anthony takes her home without even saying goodbye to his family, sending a maid to let them know his wife was not feeling well.
Their relationship shifts after that day. (Y/N) appears so exhausted by the recent events that slowly, she starts to let her guard down again. Anthony is careful when dealing with her, his wife is fragile and the sadness in her runs so deep that he is always afraid to say or do something that will put her through more pain.
âYou donât have to worry so much, you know.â She says, making him look up from his papers to see her already staring back at him.
âI always worry.â
âI wonât break if we talk about it,â she guarantees. âWe have to talk about it.â
Anthony is not sure if sheâs talking about their baby or Sienna. Either way it wasnât exactly a conversation he was eager to have.
âHow are you?â He asks before he can contain himself. Anthony wanted to ask that for a while but never found the opportunity.
âHealing,â she answers, âor trying to.â
He nods, nervously picking at his nails.
âWhen did you discover?â She asks.
âThe onesie.â He looks up at her.
âThe onesie,â she scoffs.
âYou were⊠waiting for me?â His question is almost inaudible, full of regret and shame, but Anthony knows that she heard him.
âYes,â she answers, âI was.â Thereâs a pause, and then the blow to his face. âObviously you were occupied with more important matters, my lord.â
â(Y/N)ââ
âI know about her,â she confesses. âIâve always known, just didnât want to acknowledge it and have to face the fact that my husband, the one that promised to respect me, at least, had so quickly forgotten his own word.â
âItâs not your fault.â He tries to explain but it seems like (Y/N) has had enough of silence.
âOh, I know, my lord. This is entirely your fault.â She paused. âAnd hers. Not that it will matter for anyone, Iâll be the one to blame, after all.â
Her words cut through him the same way they did the week after her miscarriage: itâs always the womanâs fault. Hers or Siennaâs, it didnât matter. Anthony would never understand the full extent of the pain it was to be a woman in their society, he would never fully understand how much he put her through and yet, would never be blamed for it.
Thereâs no answer to her words, no explanation for his behavior or broken promises. All he can do is watch her swallow the tears that were threatening to fall and take a deep breath. Anthony opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.
âThat night,â she says, âthe night I⊠lost our child. You were with her.â
It wasnât a question, but Anthony felt the need to answer it anyway, his voice low with shame.
âYes.â
âI see,â she hums.
âIf I could go backââ
âThe outcome would have been the same.â She says.
âIt doesnât change the fact that I should have been there for you.â
âYes, you should have.â
Anthony always knew that, since the moment he put foot inside their house and heard her screams, but hearing her say it had another weight.
âAre you still seeing her?â She asks, looking at him.
âNo, it wonât happen again.â
(Y/N) scoffs. âForgive me if I have trouble believing in it, my lord.â
âI know I havenât been a good husband. God, I have been barely a good man since we married, but I promise you, Iâll learn from my mistakes and Iâll do better by you. Iâll be a better man, a better husband, one that you deserve and maybe, just maybe, Iâll get close to deserve you.â
The following days, they start to talk more during meals, and the silence that falls between them when theyâre both at the drawing roomâAnthony working and (Y/N) readingâis not uncomfortable anymore. Each day that passes makes Anthony believe that they can fall back into the friendship they had right after they married.
He doesnât see Sienna again. Anthony sends her a letter telling her that they should stop seeing each other because he doesnât want to hurt his wife anymore. Which is the truth. Every time he thinks about the last time he met Sienna, his wifeâs cries of pain and sorrow plague his mind and he just canât see himself hurting her even more than he already had without even realizing it.
Anthony watches her playing with Gregory and Hyacinth in the garden. His younger siblings are fighting for her attention but she doesnât seem to mind, going back and forth in between the two of them with ease. Then she looks at him, a huge smile on her face that made him smile too. Her attention was quickly snatched from him to his siblings again and Anthony felt a pang of jealousy in his chestâhe didnât want to share her attention.
In the past few weeks, Anthony discovered that his wife was more than the character of the perfect wife that she played for the ton. She was very much real and very much a woman with desires and ambitions. Everything that happened between then made her more bold, she didnât take his poor excuses anymore, she talked openly about all sorts of things and Anthony caught himself wanting to listen.
âHum, did you finally realize that you got a diamond in your hands, then?â
Anthony turned his head to look at Benedict, who had a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
His relationship with Benedict was stranded since his brother discovered about Sienna. Anthony didnât blame Benedict, he was friendâs with his wife since they were kids. He only had himself to blame for being so foolish.
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â Anthony answered, not bothering to pretend he wasnât observing their siblings with (Y/N).
âKeep lying to yourself then,â Benedict smirked, turning away to leave.
Anthony called after him. âWill you ever forgive me?â
Benedict sighed. âIâm not the one who has to forgive you. I just expected more from my brother.â
âI know,â he agrees. Benedict makes a move to go out the door, and then comes back, pulling Anthony into a hug.
âLook, I could say a thousand things to you, but nothing will undo whatâs done.â Benedict says when they part, a hand resting on Anthonyâs shoulder. âJust⊠learn from your mistakes and do better. Youâre my brother and I love you, but trust me when I say that you don't deserve (Y/N). Can you imagine what mother would have done to our father if they ever found themselves in the same situation?â
âThey loved each other,â Anthony protested to prevent his mind from wandering.
âYou are truly oblivious, brother of mine.â Benedict scoffed.
His brotherâs word haunted him for the rest of the day and all the way back to their home. Always perceptive, his change in behavior didnât go unnoticed by (Y/N).
âWhat happened,â she asked when they were alone in the dressing room.
Anthony hummed, turning around to look at her and trying not to get distracted by her beauty as she braided her own hair after taking off the jewelry.
âNothing.â
Her reflection raises a brow at him.
âDo better,â she warns, getting up and walking up to him, face softening as she stands in front of him. âYou know you can tell me anything, donât you?â
He nods, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his face. Anthonyâs eyes close.
âIs it about her?â
The question gets him off guard. His eyes open instantly to look at her and he drops (Y/N)â hand instantly.
âNo,â he answers, âno,â he adds firmly, cradling her face in between his hands. âThere is no one else in my life but you. There wonât be no one else in my life but you.â
âAnthonyâŠâ She breaths, closing her eyes as her delicate hands take hold of his wrists.
He wants nothing more than to kiss her, but refrains. Itâs not the time for that. Theyâre both healing and he doesnât want to taint whatever it is theyâre creating by getting ahead of himself. Instead, Anthony presses his lips to her hair, inhaling her scent.
âStay with me tonight,â he pleads, not sure where the urge to stay close to her came from. Anthony expects her to put up a fight, but (Y/N) only nods, murmuring an okay, before guiding him to her room.
Itâs the first time since that fateful night that the both of them sleep through it, getting up later than usual the other day.
Their first kiss after everything that threatened to push them apart for good, happens so suddenly that none of them expects it.
(Y/N) had received the news that one of her younger sisters was going to marry the man she loves, her happiness made her throw herself at him and before either of them could realize, they were kissing each other.
It was just a chaste peck on the lips at the beginning. When they realized what had just happened they parted, his wife didnât bother to step away from him to escape his embrace. They just stared at each other, eyes flicking between their eyes and their lips and then she placed a hand at the back of his neck, bringing him close to seal their lips again.
Anthony responded in kind, his hands on her waist, traveling up her back as he tasted her. It was like he was kissing her for the first time. They were discovering each other again, learning what each other felt like.
Desperately, Anthony wanted to discover what the strange feeling at the pit of his stomach was. Since before they married (Y/N) made him feel different, something he couldnât put a finger on. He pushed it down to the depths of his mindâthe last thing he needed was feeling something other than respect and partnership for his wife.
He protested when (Y/N) parted her lips from his and it took him a second to notice Benedict standing at the door, a smirk on his lips.
âIâm sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to let you know that our mother is waiting for (Y/N) downstairs. Something about the charity?â
âOh,â his wife exclaimed, âI had forgotten about it,â she said, wriggling herself away from his arms, making Anthony growl in frustration.
If she noticed, (Y/N) made a good job at ignoring it. The same couldnât be said about his brother.
âI figured,â Benedict smirked.
âNot a word,â (Y/N) warned as she passed him by, slapping his arm playfully.
âYes, maâam.â
Anthony watched as she turned around, stealing one last glance at him before disappearing and taking his breath away with her.
âHuh,â Benedict hummed, âI see.â
Rolling his eyes, Anthony asked, âAnd what do you see, dear brother?â
âYou love her.â
âNonsense,â he protested, âweâre just good partners.â
âGood partners donât kiss like that.â
The ride home was silent, but Anthonyâs heart fluttered in his chest when (Y/N) searched for his hand. Could Benedict be right? Did he really fall in love with his wife? He frowned while looking out of the window of the carriage and (Y/N) might have noticed it, because she made a move to take her hand away from him. Anthony didnât let her.
âWhatâs going on in your mind?â
âSomething Benedict said to me.â
âIf it is about the kiss, donât mind him. It wonât happen again.â
Anthony looked at her exasperated.
âI surely hope youâre not serious about that.â
âAnthonyâŠâ
âHow can I live without your kisses again is unknown to me.â
âYou lived quite well without them all your life,â she smiles, shyly.
âBut now that I know them, I canât anymore.â
Painfully slowly, she moves closer, giving him the chance to meet her halfway and bring their lips together again.
Itâs like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day and Anthony canât seem to get enough of her. They get so distracted that they donât even realise the carriage has stopped in front of the house until the door is open.
Recomposing themselves, he observes as (Y/N) giggles at the situation and feels his heart flutter at the image.
As they prepare to retire for the night, Anthony stops for a minute before following her into her roomâhe has been doing that for quite a few nights.
When she notices that he hasnât entered the bedroom, (Y/N) looks back at him with a frown.
âAnythingâs wrong?â
Anthony smiles, âNo, nothingâs wrong,â he answers, as she extends her hand for him to take, and they retire for the night.
#anthony bridgerton#anthony bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton imagine#antony bridgerton fanfic#anthony bridgerton fic#bridgerton imagine#mystery writings
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Puppy
Main masterlist | The Rookie masterlist
Tim Bradford x fem!reader Fandom: The Rookie
Summary: While you visit Tim at the station, you are too nice to a teenager he just arrested. To your boyfriend's exasperation, you pay the bail for the kid and cook him a warm dinner.
Warnings: don't think so, pure fluff, not proofread yet
Fluff Requested: Yes Words: 2.5k
GIF not mine, credits to the owner.
"So," Lucy began tentatively, stealing a glance at the sergeant. "I saw you the other day. Looking at those rings."
"Chen." Tim warned his aide.
"Are you proposing to Y/N?" she pressed, her excitement bubbling over.
"That's not your business."
But Lucy wasn't about to let it go. "Look," she said eagerly, "If you need help picking the ring, I can help. I can â I don't know, have a little talk, find out what kind of ring she wants."
"I've got this, thanks," his voice was tinged with a hint of annoyance.
"We both know you don't." Lucy leaned back, "An engagement ring is not just any jewelry she can hide in a closet if she doesn't like it."
"I think I know what she wants."
"Remember her birthday present?" she reminded him, earning an accusing glance from Tim. "Just saying. Please, at least consider it, for Y/N."
Lucy opened her mouth to say more, but Tim's eyes caught something up ahead. His expression shifted to one of relief, a welcome distraction from Lucy's insistence.
"Hold that thought."
She followed his gaze and saw a young boy attempting to break into a parked car. The kid couldn't have been more than fifteen, his hands fumbling nervously with the lock. Tim pulled the shop to a stop and got out, Lucy following closely behind.
"Dispatch, this is Sergeant Bradford. We've got a possible 459 in progress at the corner of 4th and Main."
"Hey! Step away from the car!" Tim called out, his voice authoritative.
The boy froze, his eyes wide with fear. He turned to run, but Lucy was already moving, cutting off his escape route. "It's okay," she said gently, her demeanor softening. "We're not here to hurt you."
Tim approached, his expression softening just a bit."What do you think you're doing?"
The boy stammered, "IâI wasn't going to steal it, I swear. I just... I need some money. My mom's sick, and we can't afford the meds."
The boy looked down at his feet and Lucy sighed, recognising the familiar signs of desperation. "Look, we can help you. But breaking into cars isn't the way to go."
"You need to come with us and tell us everything. We'll figure something out."
The shop was quiet except for the hum of the engine and the sound of Lucy's fingers tapping on her phone. Tim glanced over at her, his focus shifting between the road and his aide's ever-present curiosity.
"TouristPlanet says that Hawaii is number one for proposals," Lucy broke the silence, her eyes never leaving the phone.
"Chen, I don't need help. I've done it before, I know how it works," Tim replied, exasperated but with a hint of amusement.
Lucy ignored his brush-off. "Oh, but I love Y/N! I just want everything to be perfect for her. I mean, it's huge."
Tim sighed, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "And you don't think I love her enough to make this special?"
"I didn't say that," Lucy replied quickly. "You've done it before, it's not a big deal for you. But it's her first proposal and she loves you."
"It is a big deal," Tim admitted, his voice softer now. "I think I love her even more than I loved Isabel back then. So it's more complicated now."
Lucyâs eyes widened in surprise, a soft smile spreading across her face. "You have a heart after all."
"Chen. Shut up." he shot her a warning sideways glance, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Yes, sir."
As you step into the bustling station, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sugary donuts fills the air, mingling with the sound of urgent radio chatter and shuffling footsteps. You clutch the cardboard tray tighter, a smile playing on your lips as you navigate through the familiar chaos, scanning the faces for Tim's unmistakable handsomeness.
Not finding him among the desks, you make your way to Grey's office, offering a cheery wave before stepping inside.
"Morning, Sarge."
Grey glances up from his paperwork, a faint smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Y/N. Always a pleasure to have you around," he responds welcoming.
With a graceful motion, you offer him a cup of steaming coffee and gesture towards the assortment of donuts nestled in the box. The sergeant chuckles softly, accepting the offering with a nod of appreciation.
"Please do come more often," he jests, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
"I'll keep that in mind," you reply playfully but your attention is elsewhere, your gaze still searching the room for that familiar figure. "You know where I can find Tim?"
With a knowing nod, Grey gestures for you to follow him as he leads the way towards the processing room. As you step inside, the atmosphere shifts from bustling activity to a more subdued intensity.
"Bradford. You have a visitor," Grey announces, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.
Tim looks up from his paperwork, his gaze meeting yours, and a soft smile tugs at the corners of his lips. His gaze lifts, his expression softening at the sight of you standing there, a welcome interruption to the monotony of his day.
"Hey," he greets you, a flicker of surprise in his voice. "What are you doing here?"
You set the tray of treats down on a nearby table and close the distance between you, wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace. "Hey handsome," you reply, your voice muffled against his chest. "You left early and I thought you could use some coffee."
Timâs strong arms pulled you closer, the familiar scent of his cologne mingles with the coffee and donuts, grounding you in the moment. You feel his strong, warm body melting in your arms and the steady beat of his heart, a gentle reminders of how much you love him.
Pulling back slightly, you look up into his eyes, which are now filled with a gentle warmth that belies his grumpiness.Timâs hand finds yours, giving it a gentle squeeze before he releases you.
"Youâre a lifesaver."
Lucy wander into the room, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the treats. "Y/N, you spoil us," she teases, reaching for a donut.
Your eyes drift across the room, settling on a teenage boy obediently following an officer's commands, his shoulders slumped and eyes downcast. Concern wells up inside you.
"Tim," you ask softly, nodding towards the boy, "what's with the kid? What's he doing here?"
He glances over at the kid, his expression hardening. "Kid tried to break into a car. Said he needed the money to pay for his mom's meds."
Your heart aches at the sight of the innocent boy, his face etched with fear and worry. "What's going to happen to him?" you ask, your voice soft with concern.
Tim sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "He'll probably get away with bail. First offense, and the circumstances are... mitigating."
Moved by the boyâs plight, you make a decision. âTim, can I have your card?â you ask, reaching out your hand.
Your boyfriend eyes you warily, his brow furrowing. "Why?"
"Just trust me."
He frowns but doesn't question your request further. He fishes a card from his pocket and hands it to you. As you reach for the box of donuts, his frown deepens.
"Y/N, what are you doing?" he asks, his voice rising with annoyance.
You stop to meet his gaze, "Trust me, please."
Tim watches you walk over to the boy and kneel down, his jaw tightening. "This is ridiculous," he mutters under his breath, his grumpiness evident as he crosses his arms over his chest.
"Can I have a minute with him?" you ask Lucy, who is in the midst of processing the boy.
Lucy looks over at Tim, seeking his approval. His eyes narrow, but he gives a curt nod, though his frustration is palpable. Lucy steps aside, joining your boyfriend as they watch you with a mix of curiosity and concern.
"Hi, there." you say softly, your voice kind and shooting, "I'm Y/N. What's your name?"
"Charlie."
"Well, Charlie, Sergeant Bradford told me you're in some kind of trouble." you say gently, your heart breaking at his situation.
The boy looks up at you, tears welling in his eyes. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong. Iâ I just want to help mom."
"I know, sweetheart. You hungry?" you ask, offering him a comforting smile.
Charlie nods, and you hand him the box full of donuts. His eyes widen in surprise and gratitude as he takes it.
You write your name and number on Tim's card and hand it to him. "It's gonna be okay for now. But if you have any other problems, please give us a call. If you don't want to talk to Bradford, you can call me, okay?"
"Thanks. Iâ I will," Charlie says, clutching the card like a lifeline.
"Where's your mom?" you ask, wanting to understand more about his situation.
"In hospital. Sheâ uh, she has cancer and treatment is expensive."
"You stay with her at the hospital?" you ask gently, your mind already made up to help him.
Charlie nods, tears brimming in his eyes. Determined to do more, you know you'll pay his bail and offer any support you can.
Tim strides over, his expression a mix of annoyance and concern. His grumpiness, which had momentarily melted away, returns in full force. "Alright, that's enough," he says, his voice firm and edged with frustration. "We need to get things moving."
You stand up, giving Charlie one last reassuring smile. "Remember, call me if you need anything," you say before turning to Tim.
He looks at you, his irritation clear. "Y/N, you can't save everyone," he mutters, shaking his head. "This isn't your job."
You meet his gaze, "I know. But I can try to help one," you reply softly.
"You really shouldn't get involved like that," he says, his voice softer now, filled with concern.
"I know."
He sighs, reaching to take your hand into his. "But I love that about you. Just...promise me you'll be careful. For my sake."
You squeeze his hand, smiling warmly. "I promise."
The end of the shift greets Tim and Lucy walking towards their cars, the sky darkening with the onset of evening. The station is quieter now, the earlier hustle and bustle giving way to the calm of a winding-down day. He's itching to get home, to feel the warmth and comfort of your presence, to escape the relentless grind of the day.
"Hey, Tim," Lucy starts, glancing at him curiously. "Did you pay the bail for that Charlie boy we arrested this morning?"
Tim raises an eyebrow, surprised. "No, why?"
"Because someone did," Lucy explains, frowning. "I checked, and he doesnât have any other family besides his mom. I can't figure out who would have done it."
His eyes narrow, and then it hits him. "I think I know who."
The drive home is a blur as he processes the day's events. When he finally steps through the front door, heâs greeted by the comforting aroma of dinner cooking and the sound of upbeat song playing in the background.
"Sweetheart, I'm home," he calls out, his voice echoing through the house.
You turn around, a bright smile on your face. "Hey, babe. Come, come. Dinner's almost ready."
Tim steps into the kitchen, and his eyes widen in pure shock as he spots Charlie sitting at the island, a plate of snacks in front of him.
"Y/N, a word," Tim says, his voice tight.
"Make yourself at home, Charlie. We'll be right back."
You give the kid a big smile while Tim forces a very strained one, then you follow him to the bedroom. He closes the door behind you with more force than necessary, his frustration evident.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Tim demands, his voice rising in anger.
"I know, I'm sorry. I should've talked to you. But I couldn't let him stay in jail. He's been sleeping in a hospital chair, Babe. God knows when it was the last time he had a proper, warm meal. There's no one to look after him."
Tim runs a hand through his hair, his anger barely contained. "I can't believe you did that. Youâve got ourselves a puppy," he mutters, his tone sharp.
"What?" you ask, confused.
"Nothing."
You place a gentle hand on his arm, your eyes pleading. "Tim, listen to me. This kid needs help. He's scared and alone. I couldn't just walk away."
You step even closer, wrapping your arms around his waist, feeling the tension in his muscles.
"You can't just bring home a stray. This is serious, Y/N. We're not a shelter."
"Charlie is not a stray, he needs help. His mom is in the hospital with cancer, and he's been trying to fend for himself," you explain, "We have the means to help him, at least for one night."
"This isn't just about money or means, Y/N. It's about safety and boundaries. We can't take in every kid with a sob story."
"I get that, but this isn't just any kid. You saw him today, baby. He's not a criminal; he's just a boy trying to help his mom," you argue, stepping closer to him. "We can't turn our backs on him."
Tim's frustration is simmering beneath the surface. "Damn it, Y/N. This is exactly why I worry about you. You have a big heart, and I don't want to see you get hurt."
You rested your head on his chest. "I know. But I can't just turn my back when someone needs help. I get involved because I care," you say softly, meeting his eyes, "And you care too, whether you want to admit it or not."
"I can't say no to you, can I?" he mutters, his voice a mix of exasperation and affection.
You smile up at him, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
Tim looks at you, his grumpiness warring with his love for you. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," he sighs again, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you even closer, "Just one night," he says, "And then we figure out what to do next."
You nod, relief flooding through you. "I promise. Just one night."
Pressing a kiss to your forehead, his grumpiness is melting away, "You're impossible, you know that?" a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
"I know," you reply, smiling back at him. "But you love me anyway."
He chuckles softly, shaking his head. "Yeah, I do," he admits, his voice tender. "Now let's go see how our guest is doing."
#tim bradford the rookie#tim bradford#tim bradford imagine#tim bradford x reader#tim bradford x you#the rookie imagine#the rookie#the rookie one shot#the rookie x reader#tim bradford imagines#tim bradford x y/n#tim x reader#tim one shot#tim imagine#tim the rookie fluff#tim the rookie imagine#tim the rookie#puppy
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Fandom is so nice to Jiang Cheng's inferiority complex because in reality every single thing he gets accused of is something Wei Wuxian is better at than him.
Jiang Cheng killed Wei Wuxian? Nope. Didn't even get close. Wei Wuxian's own spirits tore him apart before jc could even get there. wwx:1 jc:0
Jiang Cheng tortures people? We get two and a half rumours and a mention from jin ling that jc has 'captured' demonic cultivators before, but who is also apparently confident that just letting wwx run off will kill the issue even though those earlier rumours said ~no one who sandu shengshou captured was ever seen again~
The word jiang cheng uses when he tries to talk big game about 'beating the truth' out of Wei Wuxian's is a word that carries the context of pestering someone to do their homework. Doesn't exactly strike fear into my heart.
Wei Wuxian? Excellent at torture. A prodigy. Did you fucking see what he did to Wen Chao? Dude didn't have fingers anymore because wei wuxian made him eat them. He ripped out his hair, burned his skin off, and then stalked him for several days just to prolong the pain. He forced Wang Lingjiao to bite Wen Chao's dick off and then made her shove a stool leg down her own throat! 10/10, no notes. Absolutely horrifying.
Meanwhile Jiang Cheng's idea of torture is getting a dog to bark at Wei Wuxian for a few seconds. Weak, unoriginal, I bet fairy was literally wagging her tail the whole time. 2-0
Jiang Cheng made the entire cultivation world believe Wei Wuxian was up to no good on the burial mounds and ultimately orchestrated his downfall? lol. lmao, even
It's a big thing in certain corners of the fandom to really zoom in one one particular phrase at the end of chapter 73, where after wwx and jc have their staged duel to make the world believe they hate each other jiang cheng tells everyone wwx has defected and become "a public enemy'' or "an enemy to the cultivation world" or whatever the translation you're familiar with decided upon.
(As an aside, something I really like about this line is that the last half of it is almost exactly the same, like verbatim, as what wwx told him to say. like, the chapter is really hammering home just how much jc is speaking from a script here. wwx tells jc to say "ä»ćéæ çŸĄæ èźșććșä»äčäșïŒéœäžäșæąŠæ±æ°æ ć
ł." and jc says "ä»ćæ èźșæ€äșșæäœćšäœïŒäžæŠäžäșæąŠæ±æ°æ ć
ł" the only meaningful difference is that he says 'this person' instead of wwx's name)
I've seen it said that this bit, the use of 'enemy' was said without wei wuxian's approval, that jc deviated from the script just to hurt his ex-shixiong for leaving him. And that this is what caused all the other clans to turn against wei wuxian. Regardless of if this is what jc and wwx discussed, or if jc had malicious motivations for it (considering my conclusions above, you can guess where i fall) it doesn't really matter, because the novel tells us when the clans completely freak out and become convinced wei wuxian is out to get them (though of course they've been wringing their hands about it since the literal day wwx ran off with the wen, months before jiang cheng visited) very neatly in chapter 75!
It's when they find out about Wen Ning.
And how do they find out about Wen Ning?
Because Wei Wuxian took him on nighthunts! And they kicked ass!
...Wei Wuxian, my man, why are you on nighthunts??? Why are you showing off your incredibly cool sentient fierce corpse buddy, who is way better and stronger than all the other fierce corpses, in front of the whole cultivation world??
Whatever his motivations (extra money, maybe?? they were strapped for crash) I can only draw the conclusion wwx had already given up on appearing calm or non-threatening and didn't care if the clans thought he was a threat, because they'd believe whatever they wanted anyway. Which he seems to clearly be aware of the whole time.
Regardless, we know that this is what created the myth of the Yiling patriarch. It's literally when the title first shows up!
Even if you really believe jc was secretly plotting against wwx in chapter 73, he's clearly doing a shit job of it because nothing he said made anywhere near as big an impact as this. Flopped!
The other point people use to argue Jiang Cheng caused wei wuxian's downfall is Jin Guangyao's speech in Guanyin temple about how jiang cheng could have saved wei wuxian if only he stood by him. Setting aside that jin guangyao is trying to get into jiang cheng's head here, and isn't necessarily saying what he really believes (though it very well might be! who knows with a character like jgy. assuming he's always lying is just as misleading as assuming he's always saying the truth) the fact is, if you read the speech closely, what he's talking about is not the 'public enemy' line, he's talking about the bond between them. The fact that people wanted wei wuxian out of yunmeng jiang, because the two were too powerful together.
He's talking about that one time Jiang Cheng very publically kicked wei wuxian out of the sect!
Which, unbeknownst to Jin Guangyao, was in fact Wei Wuxian's idea the whole time.
final score: 3 for you wei wuxian, you go wei wuxian! And nothing for Jiang Cheng bye.
#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#yunmeng shuangjie#i have never been more tempted to tag something as 'canon jiang cheng'#i don't really believe in the whole 'reclaiming the tag' thing i kinda roll my eyes at it and stay out of there#but I AM explicitly talking about fanon misconceptions about jiang cheng... and is that not what that tag was for?? oh well#let's not antagonize people#i am giggling at the realization that jgs must have thought all his pointed comments about wwx's 'disrespect' hit their mark#when wwx defected#only for jc to sneak his future daughter in law to yiling and letting wwx name his grandson a few months later#LMAOOO GET REKT OLD MAN
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HEAVEN AND BACK!
âPART TWO
Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Alastor's Mom! Angel! Reader
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Genre: Romance, love at first sight.
Warnings: none.
Notes: this one is comparably shorter than chapter one.
PART ONE | PART THREE

Lucifer was absolutely baffled, so many things happened in one day. First, a very gorgeous and tall seraphim angel decided to come and stay at the hotel to oversee its progress and on top of all that, the said angel is that damn radio demon's mother.
Lucifer watches as the angel, who he learned that goes by the name [y/n] is still currently scolding her son. Him, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, and Husk are at the bar area just watching it unfold.
Alastor sitting on the couch, head hung low in shame but there's still a smile on his face.
âSo... You killed your father and many more? And also ate them....?â [y/n] asked, disappointed in her voice. Alastor's deer ears lay flat as he remained seated as he listened to his mother.
âOh god, my son is a cannibal!â [y/n] cries, Niffty wiping away her tears as [y/n] carried the smaller girl in her armsâhow did it happen? She just somehow was raising her arms for uppies while the taller woman was scolding her boss and the older woman just did so without thinking and carried her and then resumed to scolding Alastor.
âBut they deserved it, mother! He deserved it forââ Alastor tried to defend himself, his smile strained.
[Y/n]'s own smile widened, eye twitching, âWho said you could speak? My own son is talking back to me!â she cries, smiling through the tears, her wings puffed up in anger and Alastor shuts up his mouth immediately.
âWhere did I go wrong in raising you? I didn't raise you like this.â [y/n] sobs, Niffty handing her a handkerchief where the taller woman accepted and used it to blow her nose.
âYikes.â Lucifer muttered in amusement as he sipped his dry martini while watching the angelic woman continuing to scold Alastor. Now that's my kind of woman. He thought before almost choking his drink. Hold up. What is wrong with him today? He barely knew the woman and he is already thinking like this.
âYou okay there pal? I'm pretty sure you almost choked on your drink.â Angel Dust laughs and Lucifer just glares at him.
Charlie giggles beside him excitedly, âIsn't it amazing? Alastor reunited with his mom! And heaven finally decided to help us!â Charlie squeals and Vaggie hums in agreement.
âWell... It surely isn't a happy one as smile's is getting scolded even more.â Angel Dusts laughs and Husk chuckles behind the counter.
Back to the mother and son, Alastor is finally done with seeing his mother cry. He hugged her in which the older woman was weakly hitting his chest while she sniffled. Niffty being pressed in-between the two. She's just glad to be there.
âI am sorry, mother. I'm still your son.â Alastor says softly and [y/n] sniffled against her son's embrace.
âI'm still mad at you.â she says, and Alastor's smile widens every slightly, âI know.â he says with a grin before getting his forehead flicked once more by his mother, making him winced in pain. [Y/n] gently lowering Niffty down to the floor. Lucifer and Husk snickering at the bar area.
[Y/n] pouted as she finally left her son's embrace, âAnd here I was waiting in heaven for so long wondering what's taking you so long and only for you to be here in hell? My goodness...â [y/n] sighs, pinching her own nose, her other hand on her hip.
âMy bad.â Alastor says with a grin and [y/n] sighs, wiping the tears away from her eyes then clapping her hands together and a smile is back on her face as she turns around to look at the other hotel crew.
âWell, I suppose that is over. I am sorry for the scene I've caused, this young man right here is to blame.â [y/n] deadpans, pointing her arms towards Alastor who was lounging on the couch, he just gave a thumbs up.
[Y/n] sighs, shaking her head. âBack to business, I myself am not really sure why Sera decided to change her mind but she's my boss so... I don't really have a choice.â [y/n] says with a shrug, smoothly lying to them and the others just look at her with a slight deadpanned expression.
âI will be staying here for the time being, Sera didn't exactly say for how long...â She says before her eyes widened, Sera really didn't tell her how long she'll be here.
âI am starting to wonder if I accidentally got myself kicked out of heaven.â She muttered and Lucifer snickered slightly, looking at her with an amused smile on his face.
âWell if that's the case, there's a space made just for you in hell.â Lucifer says smoothly and [y/n] smirked, âMy... Special treatment for lil' ol' me by the king of hell himself? It would be an honor.â she says with a small smirk, approaching the bar area and standing in front of the sitting man, looking down on him.
âI feel like they're each other's types.â Angel Dust whispers to Vaggie in which he gets elbowed to the side by the fallen exorcist.
Alastor's eye twitched in annoyance as he watched the scene unfold, not my mother. Speed walking to the two, Alastor held his mother's shoulders protectively and slid her away from the king of hell.
âAlastor, dear... I can handle myself.â [y/n] chuckles and Alastor just smiled, though his smile strained a little bit. Clearly annoyed how the king of hell is getting smooth with his mother.
âI'll be showing my mother around and show her to her room. Please excuse us.â Alastor says as he gently drags [y/n] with him upstairs with Niffty following the two.
The others just watched in amusement, still hearing the two's slowly muffling voices as they left the room.
âMama please, he's the king of hell. Why are you already getting so chummy with him?â Alastor's muffled voice can be heard as they walk away.
âHave you seen him, Alastor? Heaven's scrolls didn't do him any justice, he's gorgeous!â [y/n] says with a laugh and a followed groan from Alastor. Their voices can no longer be heard as they were getting farther and farther away.
Angel Dust nudges Lucifer and wiggles his eyebrows at the short king, the arachnid teasing the man as he can really see Lucifer's flustered cheeks.
âYou two looked nice together, you better shoot your shot.â Angel Dust says with a smirk which prompted Lucifer to stammer.
âHuh? What? I just met her for God's sake!â Lucifer says, pulling his collar away from his throat as he awkwardly chuckles.
âPlease... Everyone can see you were eyeing her like a piece of candy.â Husk says gruffly behind the counter, scoffing.
Lucifer blushed, nervous that he wasn't slicked at all.
âCan't blame him to be honest.â Charlie says with a chuckle as she sipped her wine. Vaggie just rolls her eyes playfully, âStill, she's suspicious.â she says and Angel Dust scoffs, âPlease, when are you not? Besides, if you ever end up right, I'm sure short king over here can handle her.â He says with a shrug before smirking at Lucifer, âJust admit you were admiring the sexy angel lady, couldn't blame ya toots!â he giggles.
âI wasn't... You guys are just seeing things.â he deadpans, his ears tinted pink. His daughter, Maggie, Angel Dust, and Husk just gave him a raised eyebrow. Clearly not believing him in the slightest.
âWhatever you say, short king.â Angel Dust says in amusement.
TAGLIST:
@adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @scootinonyourmom @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata @kouyoumarryme @sxgacxbe @kooidoom @yukichan67 @apple-pop @akiralovespenguins @storydays @kaurochika @amphiroxx @lil-writer-523 @punching-pentagrams @moonlovers34 @h3110kitty0 @bethleeham @hcneyiced @ashleygryffindor @ghostdoodlen @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @cupidsgift @shilladodo
#lxkeee answers#lxkeee updates#hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar x reader#lxkeee hazbin hotel masterlist#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#hazbin hotel x reader
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hii, saw u wanted arcane requests. from what ive seen on tiktok, apparently jinx was able to escape after the explosion in the very last episode and survived and ran away on that blimp thing, so could u please write a jinx x fem reader where after the explosion, jinx comes to get reader and they run away together happily to another region to have a fresh start and have a quiet, peaceful life. đđŒđđŒđđŒ pls and thank you.
A Fresh Start (Jinx x Gn!reader)
Warnings: mentions of death, use of (Y/N) once
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Fandom: Arcane
Summary: see request
Word Count: 1.6k
No set pronouns for reader
âąâąâą
You still remembered every detail, every word said, replaying the moment in your head. You'd had a fight with Jinx, nothing serious you'd thought, but when she and Ekko found you, you could see the pain in her eyes. She came running to you, wrapping her arms around your neck.
âI'm sorry, I didn't mean all those things I said,â she apologized, her voice breaking. âYou've always been there for me, and I've been ungrateful about that.â
You hugged her tightly, with your arms surrounding her waist, hiding your face in her shoulder.
âIt's okay, it doesn't matter now,â you mumbled. âAre you okay?â You asked, breaking apart and caressing her face.
She simply nodded, but you could read her like an open book, and you knew that there was something she wasn't telling you.
Before you could keep questioning her, Ekko decided to speak.
âI hate to interrupt the sweet moment and everything, but we have to hurry if we wanna survive,â he said. You gave him a confused look, slowly breaking your embrace with Jinx.
âYeah, the world is basically about to end,â the girl said. And both she and the boy tried their best to give you all the information you needed, trying to come up with a plan.
When you were almost finished with the globe, Jinx pulled you apart for a moment, wanting to talk to you.
âI really am sorry about before," she started saying, âI just couldn't think straight at the moment and I took it out on you.â
âHey, I said it was okay and I meant it,â you comforted her, grabbing her hand.
âI just don't want us to be on bad terms, we don't know what could happen out there,â she whispered, trying to hold back her tears.
âWe're not on bad terms, okay? Don't worry about that, my love,â you answered, not wanting to think about the worst case scenario.
âThank you for not giving up on me, (Y/N), I'm so lucky to have met you. You mean the world to me, and I love you so much.â Tears were already falling down her cheeks, making it hard to contain yours too.
âI love you, too, baby.â You pressed your foreheads together, closing your eyes to better savour the moment. âDon't worry, we're gonna be okay,â you tried to reassure her. âI'm not saying today will be easy, but we'll make it, and soon this will all be just a dark moment from the past.â
She wrapped her arms around your neck once again, not being able to control her sobs anymore. You were taken aback from the sudden action and her reaction. Her embrace was tight and almost filled with dread, almost as if she was certain something bad would happen. You decided to get those thoughts out of your head. Danger was knocking at the door, and you couldn't ignore it anymore; the moment to fight had come.
When you got to the fight scene, Vi quickly joined you, and so did Vander. Ekko took control of the globe, making it crash into the building, knocking the air out of your lungs. When you finally got back on your feet, you quickly went to help Vi and Jinx against Vander, but a hard blow at you was the last thing you remembered before losing consciousness.
You had no idea how long you were out of it. Ekko's figure was the first thing you saw when you woke up, and he helped you sit down slowly.
âHey, easy there,â he said. âYou got hit pretty badly.â
âI'm fine,â you groaned. âWhereâs Jinx?â He ignored your eyes, tilting his head. âEkko?â
He only had to look at you, and you could instantly feel the world crumble around you. Tears quickly flooded your eyes, still looking at the boy in front of you.
âTell me it's not what I'm thinking,â you pleaded.
âShe sacrificed herself to save Vi.â
You closed your eyes, letting the tears roll down your cheeks. You wanted it to be some sick joke, for her to get into the room and tell you that it wasn't true, that she was fine and you didn't have to worry about anything. But you knew her, and you knew something felt off about her in that last conversation you had. Turns out something bad did end up happening.
âąâąâą
Not many days had passed, the pain still fresh. You were lost in your thoughts, staring at the city in front of you. You were in the spot Ekko had shown you not long ago, trying to find a bit of peace in contrast to the mess in your head.
Life in Zaun was very unpredictable, which made it difficult to make long-term plans, but also made it easy to not get attached to anything nor anyone. But Jinx was the exception. You just couldnât stop yourself from getting attached to her, and now you were suffering the consequences.
To be honest you wouldnât really change anything, not even the pain you were feeling right now. Changing things would mean not even getting to know her, and you were grateful to have met her, to share your life with her. You were simply paying lifeâs price for love.
You suddenly felt a presence behind you, but you kept your gaze to the front.
âI'd really like to be alone, Ekko,â you said, assuming that the boy had come to check on you.
âI'm not Ekko.â
You froze in place. You had to be hallucinating, it had to be the only explanation. She was gone, and nothing would change that. You shook your head in disbelief, looking up at the sky.
âI'm even hearing her voice now,â you said. You could feel that presence even closer now, and you quickly grew frustrated with what you thought was your own mind. âLeave me alone!â You screamed, turning to the presence behind you and freezing once again when you finally saw her.
âHey, it's me,â she whispered.
You quickly got up, never breaking eye contact.
âBut- You- How?â It was all you could say, barely whispering, still not truly believing what you were seeing. She was right there.
âI guess being injected with crazy amounts of shimmer to keep me from dying had its perks,â she explained almost jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood. âI managed to escape the explosion.â
âBut I don't understand. Why didn't you come back right away? Why let us believe you were dead?â You had a million questions in your head, and you could feel your heart beating like crazy.
âI needed everyone to believe it, to have a fresh start. Vi would never give up on me if she knew I was still alive; she'd follow me to the end of the world.â
You still kept your distance from her, it all seemed unreal. A few minutes ago you were grieving her, and now she was right in front of you, as beautiful as ever. But you felt anger inside you as well. She could've told you, she could've saved you from that horrible pain of thinking she was actually gone for good.
âYou knew you were gonna fake it all along, didn't you?â You realized, thinking about that last conversation you two had. âThat's why you were so emotional, so shaken and distressed.â
âBaby, I-.â
âYou knew, right?â You interrupted her, voice cracking with your words.
âI did.â
You closed your eyes. You didn't really know when you'd started crying, but the tears kept falling down your face.
âYou let me believe you were dead, Jinx! Dead!â You didn't even try to hide how emotionally distressed you were. You needed to let everything out. The blue-haired girl broke the distance between you two, holding you in her arms while you sobbed into her chest, quickly collapsing to the ground.
âI'm so sorry, baby. I made a mistake and I should've told you,â she said while running her hand through your hair. You could tell by her voice that she was also crying, filled with guilt. âI'm sorry, please forgive me.â
âI get why you did it,â you told her after a while. âI don't blame you for wanting peace, but you have no idea how much it hurt me to think that I'd lost you.â
She cupped your face and made eye contact with you before pressing your foreheads together. âI'm sorry,â she repeated, feeling like she could never say it enough times to express just how much she regretted not letting you know before.
âI'm just glad you're actually okay, love.â You leaned in to her touch, savouring the moment after such turmoil.
She gave you a kiss on your forehead before speaking.
âI want you to come with me,â she uttered.
âCome where?â You questioned.
âI don't know, away from here,â she replied. âI really want that fresh start, but I know that trying to live without you would be absolute hell. I've had many uncertainties in my life, but you just feel right. If there's something I'm sure of is that I love you, with every part of me.â
âI love you, too,â you told her. âAnd I'd also follow you to the end of the world.â You let out a hopeful smile, and so did she before cupping your face to kiss you.
Her lips against yours felt absolutely right, like it was just the way it had to be, forever and ever. You belonged together, and there was nothing you wanted more than to build a future with her, away from all the ghosts from the past. You knew it wouldn't be easy, both of you had a lot to let go of but with her by your side everything felt a bit easier, and for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful.
âąâąâą
i absolutely loved this request, thank you anon! i'm a sucker for angst
also i'm 100% sure she's still alive
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Well I said I'd never make another tumblr after I left during the whole porn ban fallout but here I am askhgsj!! PLEASE tell me there's an active OFMD fandom over here because I finally finished watching it over the weekend and I learned that apparently there's an Ed and Stede shaped hole in my life and I'm about to drive everyone I know insane talking about them aslkglaksjjk
anyway MY TAKES!!!
so first of all this show is actually gay. like for real real. I watched the first season with a friend who's pretty big into shipping (no shade, I'm just not into that kind of fandom) and I fully expected this to just be queerbait. FRIENDS I'M STILL SHOOK ABOUT THIS akhgaj, I haven't been able to stop smiling since I finished it!! Because they're actually gay! And that's the point! THE POINT IS IT'S A LOVE STORY ABOUT STEDE AND ED HELLLOOO CAN ANYONE HEAR ME!!! Seriously I hadn't known how much I needed this show until I had it, I've never actually felt like the target audience for a show before
they could have made Ed and Stede so boring and one note AND THEY DIDN'T! I was sure from hearing my friend explain the premise that Stede would be this boring posh guy who's scared of everything, and Ed would be all tough and badass and boring, and that would be it. But no. Stede's a total weirdo who says "buckos" and picks up noses off the floor with his bare hands and Ed's an adorable dork who is scared of his own spider tattoo. I love them your honor akghaskj
also can i just say. Ed's fashion sense. Yes I get that the whole show is about masculinity and he's forcing himself into a style of masculinity that's restrictive and reductive. But consider: IT LOOKS HOT akshgakj I'm obsessed with his jacket with the shark teeth on it (as you can probably guess by the username lol)
SPEAKING OF ED I'll admit I hadn't thought of this until I saw people talking about it but reading his story as a trans man allegory works SO WELL! It's ABOUT him trying to live up to an impossible ideal of masculinity and killing himself in the process and being enraptured with a guy who's soft and learning to find a kind of masculinity he's comfortable with! I'm chewing my own arm off! I loved Jim (canon nonbinary rep holy shit) but as a trans man I just love this read for Ed's character so much đ„č
This is unrelated but my friend had also been trying to get me to watch The Last of Us and the two shows kinda melded in my mind I think? I figured it out eventually but at the end of season 1 episode 3 after Stede's been stabbed and there's the dramatic lighting and everything I was not thinking "oh boy Stede's about to meet the love of his life," I was pretty sure it was zombie time and thinking "oh no and now he has to deal with the zombies too???" alsghaklgk. I was all "is Blackbeard a zombie hunter" and my friend was like. "WHAT" akghjkjgkk
I watched season 2 on my own and my friend had warned me that there were budget cuts and cut episodes and w/e, and obviously I'm sad there's no third season to look forward to but I still really liked the ending and if I hadn't been told there was anything up with the season I don't think I'd have guessed!! They're safe and they're together and they just get to be Ed and Stede now :')
my friend did warn me I probably wouldn't like where they took Izzy in season 2 and...they were right akhgaskfj, it wasn't bad or anything and I liked that Izzy apologized at the end and stopped being so shitty to everyone but I just couldn't get past what he did to Ed in season 1. Plus he just didn't feel the same when he wasn't being weird all the time đ. I didn't really like Jim's line about how "he was Ed's friend," like Jim. my friend. WAS HE LMAO my friends don't usually call the British Navy on me and stab my boyfriend
on that note though I made the mistake of logging onto Twitter for the first time in like two years to see what people were saying after I watched season 1, and I got a bit worried when I saw people saying that Ed's actions in season 2 made him irredeemable. But uh. He told them to eat cake and then made them kill him, it sucked but I was expecting way worse asksksksgk, I just felt bad for Ed honestly (which I think was intended obviously)
I am so picky with TV shows but everything about OFMD was just so fucking GOOD! The writing, the acting, the cinematography - everyone came into this show to do A GOOD JOB and it SHOWS
STEDE BONNET IS MY BEST FRIEND look at how far he came!!! He was so scared to even talk about running away with Ed in season 1 but now he's all in too đ„čđ„čđ„č
and I know I already said this but if you told me ten years ago my new favorite show would be one that was entirely about the central gay couple and they canonically kiss and have sex and love each other I wouldn't believe you!!! THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD
OKAY I'm sure I've got more to yell about later but that's my thoughts for now and I wanted to make a post so people know I'm not a bot alkghalkkj, if you like OFMD and love Ed and Stede too let's be friends!!!
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#i've been away from tumblr for so long do i even need to tag spoilers akghakjk
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lily evans potter: womanhood, motherhood & morality
lily as the dream girl in canon and fan spaces
i want to talk about this while there isn't a current upsurge in the discourse
Lily Evans Potter is introduced to us as Lily Potter, the dead mother of Harry Potter. Lily and James potter, dead, leaving their poor, miraculous son to live with the dull, horrible Durselys. We only ever see her through, with the exception of her sister, the memory of men.
I've said before that I believe James and Lily are the ideal masculine and ideal feminine, both to Harry and in a metatextual way. parents are our introduction into gender roles, the "correct" way to be a man and woman. since Lily is dead she cannot disappoint Harry. she can be imagined as the perfect woman, which is, of course, a wife and mother. the dream girl!
Lily's death makes her a silent, ever-loving, beautiful young mother, for both Harry and the reader. James is slightly deconstructed in SWM, but Lily is not. She is a fierce protector, brave, clever, and only emotional (angry) once James, her future husband, provokes her enough.
in the text Lily is not truly presented as flawed in a meaningful way. the moral choices she makes: to build a relationship with Severus, to defend Severus, to break their relationship when he refuses to reject bigotry, to join the Order, to die for her child, are all the correct moral choices. these are the choices the narrative is telling us to respect.
women have, for the past 200 years or so, been conceived of as the moral center of the family.* Lily Evans Potter is the moral center of the series. her choice to die is mirrored by the main character, Harry, and sparks the beginning of victory. Harry's sacrifice is enabled by another mother, Narcissa, making the correct moral choice because the power of her maternal love urges her to this choice. finally, Voldemort's most powerful follower, Bellatrix, is killed by a housewife and mother, Molly, in a maternal rage at the idea of her daughter being murdered.
Lily's sacrifice and the emotions behind it are mirrored multiple times in the final battle because it and she are the moral center of the series.
that Harry is frequently told he has his mother's eyes, and that Dumbledore points out how his essential nature mirrors his mother's, further highlights Lily's character and her choices as implicitly good.
women, especially mothers, as our moral authorities, is an unconscious cultural belief we can see play out in the fandom and subfandoms that Lily is discussed in. we can all recall the characterization of Lily as the goody-two shoes that James has to change for, the characterization of Lily as "not like other girls", the BAMF characterization, the current near mommy dom to James characterization.
the characterization of Lily changes with our view of the best kind of woman. but she is, always, demonstrating a most "correct" way to be. maybe it's 2007 and she's telling James offânot fun, but right. or it's 2012 and she's not preoccupied with boys like her classmates. or it's 2019 and she always knows the right thing to say to Remus when he's down on himself. or it's 2025 and James is trailing after her like a puppy while she contemplates what size strap to use on him after she beats up a bigot.
We don't see a lot of moderate views on Lily. Above, I've discussed how Lily lovers tend to portray her. Lily haters, a smaller group from what I can tell, do not utilize these common fanon characterizations. They disparage her as an immoral, selfish, bad woman. The wholesale rejection of Lily as the moral center based on her perceived immorality is the other side of the coin.
I'll refer to people with this perspective as "Lily haters" though I am aware there are people who dislike her outside of the topics I'm discussing.
I rarely engage with Lily haters, though I am aware of their arguments that Lily was a bad friend to Severus, a social climber, a gold digger, or boring. All grave sins for the woman who's supposed to save everyone.
This perspective doesn't reject Lily as the moral center or the perfect woman, it is an argument that she's not fulfilling her role correctly. Her unwillingness to give Severus more chances is selfish, stuck-up, classist. Her desire for James is an further betrayal of Severus.
She's supposed to be the Madonna, why is she being a whore?
I believe Lily hate comes from a belief she failed at being the perfect woman/mother, and therefore she is worthless. A bitch. Weak willed. Oversexed. even by haters her role as the moral center is not questioned.
in both the og text and in the fandom supertext Lily is the moral center because of her role as mother. her status as the moral center is inextricably tied to her motherhood. since Lily being a mother is the point of her character, divorcing her from her motherhood often changes the foundation of her character.**
when her literal motherhood is removed from a depiction of her character, her metaphorical status as the perfect woman/mother is often still intact. this is seen in the characterizations I described earlier, and, I argue, in the belief that she's too good for James when it is used as a "justification" for shipping James with someone else.*** thereby, she is further purified, not even having been touched by a man. she's put on a pedestal, where she can't be touched, and is rarely noticed.
it is also frequently seen when she is written as a side character in a relationship with James, and the pair become the dual moral guides for the main couple.
this reflects James and Lily as the ideal masculine and feminine, as they are a perfectly harmonious couple when a side pairing. their implicit canonical roles are subconsciously reflected in fanon with little critique or commentary on the canon text.
Lily's entire character is crafted to be The Perfect Motherâąïž. whether she is literally a mother in her fanon depiction or not, she is still The Perfect Womanâąïžâand is still affected by the biases our culture has towards women and mothers.
thus, Lily is the dream girl in the text, the moral center only seen through a nostalgic veil, and a dream girl in fan spaces, as the moral guide for the men in her life who pegs her husband or is too pure for the touch of a man.
for more on gender in the wizarding world, based on gender in early modern england (pre the cult of domesticity) see this post
*see the cult of domesticity if you'd rather not read the article
**please like fucking do not fucking act like I'm saying you cannot do this. I swear to fucking god
***you don't need to justify your ships
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
special birthday post đ
[very long yap incoming đ„]
Edit : this was supposed to be released on midnight yesterday right when it turns 20th in my country but I didn't have time so yeah, kinda upset <=[
IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the time I post this my phone will be well, closed and I will be unable to access it since it's past 9 and it'll turn back on at 7 in the morning.
This was made one day before the bday btw I did not prepare đ
Anyways..
Todays the day I turn ââ years old! Oh. Why would I tell my age? Gotta keep that a secret!
Funny fact, the 20th of April is also the same date as when the prophet of Islam Nabi Muhammad was birthed! Crazy amirite?
But anyways, I've gone through so many things. Both sad and also wonderful. Life sure is full of possibilities isn't it? I'm in a fandom about beans and suddenly I'm in a fandom about a Saturday morning cartoon mario shitpost? Never thought that would happen but it did, somehow.
The thing is, you'll never know what ever happens next! Prepared or not, you'll always be hit with the most unexpected occurrences. And that's the wonder of life! It's what keeps us interested and curious!
It's okay to change. I used to promise to myself that I would always stay in the among us fandom! But look where I am now. I used to think that I was a bad person for doing that, but now I realize that, it's okay! It's not like the end of the world happens when you leave a fandom you've been in for 3 years!
Looking back at old things may be cringe to most, but it's always nice to feel that nostalgia that you haven't felt in a while! It really shows how much you've grown for the past few years!
I used to be really terrible with animation. Like- really ass. But since 2024, my animations have started to become much better! It just takes time and patience. Thing won't always go your way and you shouldn't rush everything! [ Ironic considering that I always rush stuff đ ] Taking your time slowly but surely will pay out and you'll have a good result in the end!
Now those few past paragraphs I literally said earlier made no sense whatsoever considering I just talked about life but in a non rearranged order. So I'm sorry for that one đ
But anyways, all I wanna say is, thank you. For everything. To everyone here! Involved or not, I could NOT be here if it weren't for you all! You can't BELIEVE how much it has impacted me! I sincerely love you all! đ <=3

Being in here for less than a year and having this much is crazy! Like I didn't know you guys liked my stuff! I'm just a silly girl who just draws that's all đ
For the last part, I'd love to say a few words to some people that I love/admire the most đ [ the words I'm about to say may be a bit similar to the ones said in the Christmas special so yeah =[ ]
Neptune - You were my first friend, friendo and best friend. We don't interact a whole lot anymore but I just wanna say, you are an amazing person. You were so supportive and amazing! You always made my day back in amino. And I won't ever forget about that. You've improved so much on your art too! I'm glad to see youre improving so much on your art, and to that, thank you Nep. Thank you for being my friendo. đ
@rr3d2y - My first friend in the SMG4 community! I WANNA HUG YOU SO BAD IRL đ you are seriously such a kind and wonderful person! GENUINELY LIKE YOU SO COOL!!!!! We got along with each other so well like, I didnt know you were that chill smh??? I LOVE YOU AND CHERISH YOU SO MUCH A FRIEND!!!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING FRIENDS WITH ME YA SILLY!! đâ€đâ€đâ€đâ€đ
@mikchi8 - Pulls you out and hugs you and shakes you affectionately. YOU TOO MIKCHI. YOU TOO!! YEAH WE DON'T TALK A WHOLE LOT BUT GENUINELY YOU'RE A COOL PERSON!!! LOVE YA YOU FUNNI PERSON!!! đđđđ
@superluigiglitchy - I will make art of Oliver soon I'LL GET TO THERE SIDHOSHSKDKDHD đ PJ I love ur art and the stuff you do like- A LOT! Like that vanellope AU and also the squib! THE SILLY HIMSELF!!! No seriously how'd you make him so cute siudidjdodjdojdodhdidj /silly we don't a talk a whole much as much as we used to but I'm always interested and up for what u're cooking! Love ya ^^ ! đ
@jmaknavigr @markboyblue - You both are so kind and sweet like JMA YOUR AXOLOTL GIFTS ARE SIYDIDHDIHDOFJF AND MARM YOUR COMPLIMENTS THEY'RE SO SIHDISHDIDHDKHDKSJS I'LL GET YOU BOTH!!!!!! MARK MY WORDSSSSS /silly /jk /nsrs /lh I'M SORRY FOR NOT HAVING ANYMORE TO SAY BUT JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE U TWO đđđđ
@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @cookiepopcat @its-a-me-mango - You four have been like my main source of inspiration like HELPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! YOU ALL ARE STILL VERY COOL TO ME. All of you fours contents are just so unique and well made?? Man that what I really strive for tbh đ all I wanna say is you are all creative in your own separate ways and I'll continue praise you four for that, đ„đ„đ„đ„đđđđ
@libbytwq @bear-boi-5 @coralalala64 @4thwallbreakerdraws2 - OKAY I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE FRIENDS/MUTUALS WITH ANY OF YOU. SERIOUSLY đ. LIKE UH... HOW? You four have like, really cool stuff and people should really see that because y'all are cooking some rlly good art in that kitchen right there đ„ interacting with like all four of you has got to be one of the goofiest and silliest things. Like- sure it's not that chaotic but it can get rlly silly at times and I'm glad for that do what you four do XD đđđ
@michaelscorneroftheinternet @grinnames @dorriostareyes - OH GOD YOU THREE ARE REALLY COOL TOO. Micheal and Dorrio, you boths writing are actually like top notch WHAT ARE Y'ALL COOKING UP WITH CHANGE IN SCRIPT PUT THAT GIF WHERE SOMEONE IS WRITING AND IT'S ON FIRE đ„đ„đ„đ„ Grinnames you too I know I said this before but ur Godbox au is so interesting very excited to see how that like.. Event... Thing.... Ends =D! You three are all obviously very cool and deserve more recognition đđđ
@alelathedragon - Hey uhhhhh wasn't expecting this huh? I KNOW WE HAVEN'T INTERACTED A WHOLE LOT BUT I GOTTA SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME LEND A HAND ON THE COMPETITION!!! I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT AT ALL LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY DOORSTEP ALL THE SUDDEN!! Honestly I love broken star like he's such a silly goober AND LOYBOO TOO. HE'S SUCH A CUTIE!!! Man you so cool. Yeah this is what you get for interacting with me muahahhahaa đ„đ
@eliscz @meg-girumi @theclosetcreature @fbanjex @jovialoddity @bidinonsense @h4ppysoki @dakaakula @icedbeverageenjoyer @jibrilthethingart @stargus0k @hplonesomeart @scimagic @the-masked-astro @yasmin70 @fenicearts420 @mrtophat518 @alex-dolmatescu2-0 @change-name-later - YOU ARE ALL REALLY COOL MR PUZZLES ARTISTS IN YOUR WAYS!!!!! SERIOUSLY YALLS IDEAS FOR THIS SILLY MAN ARE REALLY COOL LIKE THE WAY Y'ALL DRAW HIM, HEAD CANNONS AND THE STUFF Y'ALL DID WITH HIM, ARE ALL JUST REALLY COOL!! Will adore you all till the ends of handsome tv man đđđ /silly
And these are the list of people that I'd like to make messages to but I simply don't have the time and energy to do that so yeah đ. Just know that I enjoy you all as equally as everybody else before this!! đđđ
@opossol @shygirl4991 @theartistisme24 @art-parasi-te @fruit-sy @dictatortirah @corgibuttdraws @smp-eclair @psinkaaa @rat-n-atty
And for the last bit! A recap of alllllll of my digital drawings since I interacted online! Enjoy đ
And that's it!.. There was supposed to be a bit where I yapped more but with my real voice but that got scrapped.. =[
Anywaysssss yeah! Thank you for whoever read this far smh ig you have a good attention span đ„đ„đ„đ„
Have a great day every body and most importantly, happy purpday to me đ
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Super glad the UT and DR wikis moved off of fandom, that place sucks. Now if only I could edit Papyrus' page. Then it would be perfect (or at least much better). But no, they want people who want to edit the pages to join a discord. Why can't I just email someone with my List of Grievances.
Which include but are not limited to:
HE IS NOT OBLIVIOUS IN THE NO MERCY ROUTE! HE IS *pulls out megaphone*
THE ONLY CHARACTER WHO POINTS OUT THAT THE HUMAN IS COVERED IN DUST!!!!!

The wiki page also calls him oblivious an additional two times. What if I bit people. What then. Who could truly stop me.
Aren't Wikis supposed to like. ATTEMPT. Writing about the subject with a neutral tone? What's this horseshit where the author is OBVIOUSLY implying "You might think he's smart but he likes KID STUFF! THAT MEANS HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT!!!" How about I hunt you for sport. How do you think every adult with toys from their childhood/toys they bought because they WANTED THEM feels reading this sentence that makes an unfounded assertion about this fictional character's intelligence based on something TOTALLY NORMAL.
*Wikipedia editor voice* [citation needed]
Okay so this is something that actually makes me SUPER angry. IT IS NOT STATED BY ANYONE, ANYWHERE, THAT PAPYRUS IS NOT PAID FOR HIS DUTIES AS A SENTRY. It is only stated that Sans pays all the rent. But what about electricity. Water. Cable. Internet. Food. Puzzle maintenance supplies. PAPYRUS STRAIGHT UP SAYS HE PAYS TAXES (the Snowdin Snowball Tax). As someone who is an Expert at being unemployed (I am disabled) YOU DO NOT PAY TAXES UNLESS YOU HAVE A JOB THAT PAYS YOU.
THIS MEANS HE HAS AN INCOME TAX. WHICH MEANS HE HAS INCOME.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Papyrus is BASICALLY the MAYOR OF SNOWDIN. UNDYNE IS HIS FRIEND!!! She's his boss too, so don't you think she would feel LIKE SHIT IF SHE DIDN'T PAY HIM TO MAINTAIN AND BUILD ALL THOSE PUZZLES? FOR HIS DAILY PATROLS? HIS REPORTS? Politics bear refers to Papyrus talking to Undyne as "politics".
And it all comes back to this ridiculous double standard people have for Sans and Papyrus where they assert Sans' Sentry work is paid (even though Undyne admits he does only just enough to not be fired), but Papyrus' isn't. Sans is a Darkner but Papyrus Isn't. Sans is secretly a Human but Papyrus Isn't. Sans is a Boss Monster (like Asgore and Toriel) but Papyrus Isn't. HELL SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE SANS IS IN THE ROYAL GUARD AND PAPYRUS ISN'T AND THAT'S HOW THEY JUSTIFY THINKING SANS IS PAID AND PAPYRUS IS NOT.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
Anyways this post was incited by me checking the new wiki and seeing that not a single thing that bothered me about Papyrus' page from the old one has been edited. And the last time I checked it was August 30th 2021. Here's the post I made then, with screenshots I took on March 29th 2020. Yeah. The exact same biased writing for over 5 years. Maybe longer. I don't know when they were originally written.
#undertale#papyrus#canon vs fanon#addy salt#caps lock#Ooooh looking at his wiki page always makes me so mad#I am going to work on my Papyrus fact list out of spite#my ranting and threats are lighthearted and not serious#I'm going for comedy via hyperbolic violence#there's probably even more wrong with the article I just can't force myself to read it
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I've been trying very hard not to talk about PCCP publicly, because frankly, I think there's very little new to be said and certainly not by me.
However, I have picked up on a rather gross way that some people have been discussing the situation and I'd like it to stop.
To be clear, I am not talking about POC in this fandom who are rightfully upset by how much harder PCCP's actions are going to make it to simply exist in this space. I'm not talking about his close friends who are wrestling with that utter mindfuck of discovering the person you loved didn't actually exist. I'm also not talking about people who've discovered that similarities between their works and PCCP's weren't just coincidence and were actually plagiarism. All these people have been directly impacted by PCCP's unconscionable behavior and are going to need time to process and should be afforded the space to do so.
What I am talking about are people who were not directly involved in any of this, but seem to be descending upon any new scrap of info, any new revelation, any new insight, with the same kind of morbid glee as a TMZ reporter who got a hot tip about a shocking celebrity death.
(This is getting long, so going to put the rest below a cut.)
I was part of the group that first discovered PCCP's lies. The initial discovery was entirely by chance, but then we dug deeper because, and I cannot emphasize this enough, we wanted to be wrong. We did more digging because we wanted to be wrong. And it felt gross, to be looking this closely at someone's real life identity and match it up to details they shared on tumblr/bsky. We hated it. It felt like a violation. But it was such a huge accusation to make against somebody, so we had to be 100000% certain we were right before we breathed a word to anybody else.
For more than a week we agonized about how to handle the situation in a way that would do the least amount of harm to everybody involved and to the fandom at large. There were a lot of tears and sleepless nights. There was a lot of rage that we were even in this position in the first place. And also there was the eternal mindfuck of watching PCCP continue to post about things that we now knew to be lies, while the rest of the fandom continue supporting him as normal.
My point is... none of this was fun. We didn't take any joy or pleasure in uncovering a popular figure in this fandom was a racist fraud. It wasn't some cute detective game. It was hard and it was awful and it was deeply stressful.
So to see some people talk about this like it's entertainment, or fodder for r/HobbyDrama, talk about digging up screenshots and connecting the dots or continuing to theorize... stop. It's done. We did those things because we were hoping to find proof our initial findings were wrong. They weren't. PCCP was racefaking, and it was a deliberate choice he made to mislead and manipulate the fandom for years. He has been exposed and at least somewhat confessed. We know he was a racist and a liar and a plagiarist, and he did irreparable harm to many people in this fandom. That's it. That's the story, and it's done. There are no more dots to connect. There's nothing left to uncover. And while we always knew bringing this forward would result in smug gloating from people who hate the show/the fandom and were happy to have yet another excuse to bash it, it is upsetting and unsettling to see the almost voyeuristic fun some people who do love the show seem to be having with this.
Real people have been hurt, and real people are struggling. We don't need a grand fandom exposé, we don't need to continue digging up the dreck, and we certainly don't need to put anybody in more danger of doxxing. What we need to do is support the people who've been hurt and/or traumatized by PCCP's actions, do some self-reflection on why we allowed him to become so popular in the first place despite so many people now coming out of the woodwork saying they felt "icky" about things he wrote, and move forward.
That said, I do like to focus on positive outcomes, so I'll also say how genuinely lovely it's been to see people supporting each other throughout all this. I've been enjoying the influx of @ofmdlovelyletters on my dash, sharing so much love for others in the fandom. I've been thrilled at all the old gifs and arts and meta posts being shared once more from people who seem to have organically gotten the message of "oh yeah, we're here because we love the show, let's get back to that." Personally, I've been DMing a lot more people just to chat, and it's been really nice turning some fandom acquaintances into fandom friends. And I'm excited about all the efforts of the people working on @inv-2025-pccp to make sure writers who had their works plagiarized receive proper acknowledgement. That's a great, tangible way to turn some poison into positivity, and if you're feeling like "oh I just wish there were something I could do," I'd encourage you to reach out to get involved.
I've said this multiple times in private conversations, but I think it bears repeating here: no matter how much he may have tried, PCCP did not define the OFMD fandom before, and he certainly doesn't get to now. My hope is that as devastating as this event was, we use it as an impetus to move forward and do better, to strengthen relationships and be there for the people who've been hurt the most.
#emynn.op#and after this I'm going back to talking about this as little as possible publicly#because quite simply: he is not worth it#my focus right now is working to make this fandom a safer place for POC#and supporting those who are hurt/grieving because of PCCP's actions#as far as I'm concerned anything else is simply not productive and can only do more harm than good#anyway#I love you#take care of yourselves
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