#I know I prolly SHOULD tag this with the character names too

[sweet-luv-club]

The neon lights of a love hotel beckon you... Will you be staying for the night? ♡

✎ navigation links coming soon! ૮꒰˵• ﻌ •˵꒱ა

. . . ♡ masterlist

. . . ♡ list of charas i can take requests for + how i would write them

. . . ♡ my tags!!

saccha.txt = text posts

saccha.png = mi art!!

🍓🌸🍓꒰ Saccha┆he/him/hole┆artist n writer!!! ꒱🍓🌸🍓

HIIIHIHIHI my name is Saccha!!! get it bc,.,, Saccha(rine) and… my blog name iz sweet-luv-club, YEAH U GET IT TJBGJHBG,,

JUST A LIL OVEREXCITED TRANS PUPPY BOY RUNNIN A LUV HOTEL ,, there r a lot of aesthetics i wanna b associated w/, this intro post will prolly change over time lol

i wanted tew stretch out ma writing skillz n i have a lot of ideas i jus wanna throw out in2 da world,, scenarios i hope ppl would also enjoy n such!! ♡♡♡ just wanted to pump out x readers for the gayz tbh,,

as much as i love reading fempovs, i want 2 make food for other trans ppl like me ^w^ and also interact w/ other blogz!!! also sorry not sorry of my excessive use of colors and kaomojis lol!!

dis blog is where i will dump all my horny ramblings about

★⋆ Degrees of Lewdity (mentioning this game alone should indicate i dont mind dead dove stuff hfbhg)

★⋆ Call Of Duty MW2 (im only a very casual fan tho lol look man im a porn blog my content isnt gonna be that deep!!)

★⋆ The Last Of Us (specifically joel content bc im feral 4 him but im also feral 4 ellie,, WRITING ABOUT THEM SEPARATELY THO OFC LMAO)

taking requests for each >w<)b !!!

♡ ┆ stuff i will write ┆ ♡

★⋆ DRUMROLL PLEASE... THE MAIN REASON I WANTED TO MAKE THIS BLOOOG... transmasc reader content!!! 🎉🎊🥳 with warnings on what terms to be used on the naughty bits, ofc!!

with that being said....

★⋆ DDLB :3 tee hee!

★⋆mayhaps some gender neutral reader stuff!! no pronouns other than 'you',

★⋆ if i write nsfw with GN reader, i'll have separate sections for when u have afab/amab anatomy and how characters i write with would interact with em !!

so the format would go like

˗ˏˋ ꒰ König with a chubby S/O ♥ nsfw!! ꒱ ˎˊ˗

♡ ┆ headcanon

if you have AFAB anatomy…

♡ ┆ headcanon for how he'd treat u with ur coochie, gender non-specific

if you have AMAB anatomy…

♡ ┆ headcanon for how he'd treat u with ur pp, gender non-specific

most of my fics/drabbles would be gender neutral unless stated otherwise !!

plz note!!! in cases like Ellie who is explicitly and canonically a lesbian i will also only write in fempov, everyone else i write about automatically becomes readersexual meaning theyre attracted to the reader regardless of gender, appearance, etc etc so for example if ur super mad i made your big strong masculine military man a cocksucker das on u, go cry ab it somewhere else thanks (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

★⋆ BIG GIRTHY AGE GAPS… but readers in my stories should always b regarded as 20+!!

★⋆ and ofc hand in hand with that comes a corruption kink BAHAHAHA and as a heads up i place a heavy emphasis on virginity !!!

★⋆ yandere/obsessive content bc im a sucker for it :((

★⋆ pet play/hybrid stuff… sometimes human but most of the time it comes w the reader having animal characteristics!! (ex. bunny reader, cow reader, puppy reader etc) ONLY LIMITED TO STUFF LIKE EARS/TAIL/WINGS THO and maybe heat cycle stuff bc im a sucker for that too

★⋆ A/B/O content and dynamics

★⋆ stepcest probably???

STUFF I WONT WRITE ABOUT... no cute format for these ones LMAO 'm just gonna lump all of them together

actual incest | zoophilia content (YES I KNOW DOL IS RIFE W/ THAT BUT I ALWAYS TURN OFF BEAST TOGGLES SJHDS) | scat/piss/basically any bodily fluid aside from CUM LMAO (i'd probably make an exception 4 squirt tho,,,, 👀) | gore

das about all i can think of for neow heheh!! btw i may like and interact w blogs that have dark content or even the content i said i wont write, please be aware of that in case the posts i've liked show up :<<

i'll eventually come up w/ a list of characters im comfy with writing for, as well as a general idea of how i would write them for requests n such!! if the character u like isnt there, im still looking into how i would write content for them :>

IF U READ THIS FAR ILY BYEEEEE ♡♡♡

[lightyearssurrogatedaddy]

Should I make a New Year's appreciation post too? Cus I saw someone else do it.

Idkkk this year was pretty wack, I met God for five seconds, met God again, improved my art, bawled like a baby, had sixteen sexuality awakenings before I decided to go unlabeled, and met some pretty incredible people that I plan on canibalistically consuming.

Started last year hating myself and crying, started this year feeling grumpy but that's prolly just because I woke up early today. I learned this terrible, terrible fact that I'm allowed to be loved and I spear fought that for a good few months ngl.

Learned that being cringe is awesome

Learned how to write

Learned that people are more terrifying than what I previously anticipated but that just makes me love them even more

I know the meaning of life (no I don't) (I've scraped it up to "fuck around and find out" and I suggest it as s tier advice) (actually no I don't)

Learned how to make a boiled potato (singular)

Life's pretty cool I didn't expect this at all. It threw me a curveball at half time and I got all my teeth knocked out. It's been a weird experience so far, I think I, did that thing, yk that thing humans do, yeah I think I shed a few cells and grew a little bit. Whoa. Crazy.

I learned that in hindsight this post doesn't really matter, but that's not gunna stop ME from giving a smooch to everyone I love. They like, changed the way I exist. I don't remember feeling this loved and thought of before, it's eerie, really eerie.

Learned how to like myself even a tiny bit, because of all of you. I owe you a lot.

(am I allowed to tag people?) (Sorry I'm still borderline new at this) (I don't wanna bother anyone with my silliness) (maybe I'll just say your names instead of tagging you and hope it magically summons you) (or maybe I won't)

@crunchontoast (for yk, everything. If I even attempt to write it all out we'll be here for days. Summing it up feels inadequate but I realize that I don't have to explain anything in a post to strangers online. Cus you already know and that's awesome)

@karineverse (for being a real one and listening to me ramble. Helping me figure out shapes for characters. You're a silly sills)

@fl0w3rg0at (for being one of my besties for almost three years at this point, I think. Whoa yeah. And for sticking with me through all my crappy phases)

I'm feeling awkward I hate emotions (‼️‼️‼️)

My Mom (thank you mom. ✨How did you survive me✨)

My Cousin (for getting me Hollow Knight for Christmas. And also for texting me once per year) (a real one fr)

My Cat (for giving me snuggles when I most needed it)

I wanna tag Tacol0ser can I tag Tacol0ser? Anyways (for being the silly guy in my Ao3 comments section and giving me bursts of confidence. You're cool)

My Bestie Since 1st Grade (for being like a sister to me, our lives are pretty rough and I'm glad we have each other. Let's hold hands and go downtown for pizza again)

Oh sorry did you expect more people? My b most of them are off Tumblr. Anyways I tried tell me when to delete this cus my nerves are getting the best of me.

Ah wait and thanks for Tumblr for giving me a shitton of new memes to bother folks with.

[pulchramsolis]

name:   Emily! (not my real name)

pronouns:  she/her/they is fine <3

preference  of  communication: default to tumblr IMs until I feel we vibe well, then discord!

name  of  most  active muse(s): Abrogail Strong! Helaena on @clutchofmuses is always there too so if you'd like to plot with her let me know!

platforms  you’ve  used: omg. MSN, Livejournal, Skype, Proboards I think in a fever dream, and then Tumblr. Also writing threads/scenes in gdocs for a long time.

best  experience:  Meeting people from all over the world, making solid friendships, and also learning about characters that I normally would never have given a second thought too!

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers:  tl;dr - people who collect the same muse/shop plots, those who don't want to admit that they just wanna ship/write romance and then leave you feeling disposable. There is *nothing* wrong with wanting to be here for the romance/shipping stuff. No one will think less of you, just be up front about it.

fluff,  angst,  or  smut:  All?? Fluff and Angst, Angst and Fluff, then a side of smut as extra. I'm not one of those people that can *only* write smut, and I prefer to have OOC friendships first before we dive into it.

plots  or  memes: Memes are a great ice break and a great kick off for a plot, so I guess I prefer plots?

long  or  short  replies: SOMETIMES I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, and while I don't do the whole 'match length' stuff, I want everyone to know it's okay to have shorter replies to longer replies, but that's often easier on say, discord.

best  time  to  write: I'm WFH, so my writing times vary. I should prolly set up a schedule.

are  you  like  your  muse(s): Ooooh good question. Abby is my exploration of the softer feminine that I rejected growing up (as many others I'm sure have as well). I definitely sort of... practice my therapy through her in terms of deconstructing a lot of things when it comes to my parents, when it comes to friendships and relationships, but she is not me, if that makes sense. Like, I find roleplay in many forms to be therapeutic because it allows you to approach things that you may internally struggle with in vastly different ways with the removed aspect.

anyway Abby is not me, and I'm not here trauma dumping on people - that is a big difference lmao

tagged by: @perzyssesuvion my sweetheart by good bean my bestest buddy (although they tagged my multi but my answers wouldn't really change)

tagging: @sparedson ; @inspireswar ; @kipagircs ; @inmydrcams ; @dragynfire ; @wcrriorhearts ; @sunfyred ; @uncrvwned ; @ofvalyriansteel ; AND YOU!!! YES YOU!

[scammydoesstuff]

So let's talk Resident Evil 8 DLC…

I know I don’t really dip my toe into the RE tag, like…at all (except to post some sub-par fanart), but I had a brilliant idea last night that would not only make Capcom so much money but it’d really give the fans what they’re looking for in the DLC.

So, like, we all definitely want more Lady D since she was in so little of the game ��� we want more Lords in general, frankly, but I know a lot of folks are focused on her for…reasons. Many of us (myself included) want to team up with Daddy Heisenberg to take down Miranda. And many of us would probably just want a pacifist run version where you don’t kill anybody, save for the zombies (since…they’re…already dead, so does it really count?) and Miranda (since she’s pretty much irredeemable) because we love our Lords and killing them didn’t feel satisfying because they didn’t do much to warrant it.

But I submit to you, dear Capcom, that I have the perfect DLC idea that I’ve not seen a lot of people bring up yet (there's been, like one, I just saw in the tags, but otherwise, not a lot towards this yet).

Capcom…

Make a Dating Sim.

Let me explain:

Alright, so you’ll recall that, for RE7, Capcom gave us a DLC where you play as Mia, taking down moldy bois to bring Jack food for his 55th birthday party — appropriately titled ‘Jack’s 55th Birthday’. All fine and good. Everybody was wearing party hats and your guns shot confetti and everything was just so delightful. It was a silly FPS that was just meant to be a fun distraction to give you a good belly laugh after the horrors you’ve endured from the main game. At least as far as I can tell. It’s not like there’s heavy lore or anything here, unlike the others in that DLC pack. It's literally just for funsies.

But I think we all know that RE8 requires something…different. Something that’ll be a real people-pleaser and with so much replay-ability that they’ll be satisfied till RE 9.

And a Dating Sim is that something…I'd also recommend making a ‘mature audiences only’ version that would require payment. I know the game's already rated M for mature, but this 'adults only' version isn't for violence if ya know what I mean.

Think about it. The players of this game find out they can date their favorite Lord? Already you’d have a ton of people lining up to get that DLC — particularly if that part is free. Just getting to date the Lords — or other characters from the game, for that matter. I'm just focusing on the Lords cuz…well, you know why — would be a great foot in the door. People wanna dote on their faves and give them all the affection they can handle (and then some) and just live out their soft fantasies for a hot minute.

But then…The players finding out that they can also fuck their favorite Lord (for a nominal fee) a la Huniepop?

That shit would sell like hotcakes. I’m talking ‘money; hand over fist’. The Lady D and Heisenberg simps alone would be clamoring for that shit, not to mention the Donna fans and Moreau lovers who would love to see those two get some more attention since they were so horribly overlooked in the main game and didn't have near enough focus.

And furthermore! Getting to fuck the Lords as Ethan Winters? All the shippers will have their moment in the sun and bask in their ship gracing their eyes in licensed content. Or hell! Maybe they can fuck Ethan Winters too? I dunno! The Duke? Damn straight! Chris Redfield? Who wouldn’t want a piece of that? Miranda? …Eh…if you hate yourself, I guess…but sure! Any other character from the Resident Evil canon just kinda thrown in there for shits & giggles? That’s your call, my friend! You do you!

But the fact stands; a dating sim is the perfect way to keep people coming back to play again and again. Would it be a lot of effort? Yeah, prolly. I dunno what all goes into making a dating sim, but I imagine it can get complicated with the various dialogue trees and such and that’s a lot for my square brain to wrap around. But hey! It’s a small price to pay for rakin’ in dat dough, am I right?

As for the visuals? I can’t decide what’s funnier? Going ham on the dating sim aesthetic with all the glitter and softness that’d make those characters anime af, or sticking with a horror look — where they look the same as in the main game (though drawn instead of mo-capped, maybe?), but still in a visual novel format (think Doki Doki Literature Club, but they look how they do in the main game, so not super-cutesy/romanticized.) Either way, it’d be hilarious to see these characters in that kinda format, but I think most of us can agree that it’d somehow fit too.

For more silliness? Take a page out of Hatoful Boyfriend’s book and not only let us date the Lords, but let us change their onscreen sprites/avatars(/whatever you’d call them). Don't know what I'm referring to? Well, in Hatoful’s case, the onscreen characters could either be beautiful anime boys…or pigeons.

Photo-realistic pigeons.

I think y'all know where I'm going with this.

That's right! Give us the option between the Lords as we see them in-game or their puppet versions from the Japanese commercials.

Your move, Capcom. I think we both know this is the correct path. Make it happen so you can sit back and watch the money pour in.

P.S. Since I know Capcom won’t do anything near this fun (and also because…I doubt they'd be able to do some of this, like the more risqué stuff), if someone knows how to make a dating sim, please take this idea and run with it. It'd be a lo of fun and I’ve never needed something so badly in my life.

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu Fanfic recs: bamf/spy AU ;)

Hello loves! ~~Here I am, once again, not finishing one of the other drafts that I have and making a different post~~ (meant to be sung with the make it shine tune) Pretending like you didn’t just read that, I am here to recommend some bamf/spy AU fics because currently, that’s my vibe LOL. No this will NOT have mafia (even tho they are bamf’s) because this is supposed to be spy/secret agent orientated :))))))) (I say this, but if they overlap, they overlap.)

Because of the nature of this list, many of these fics will prolly be a little/lot graphic with their depictions of violence so beware and be warned! I won’t put individual warnings cause like I said these are all a bit graphic in their own ways. That being said, let’s get down to business (cause Mulan IS a bamf) ;)

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading (ESP THIS LIST) and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Super Spy Husbands by leurauxe /IwaOi/ I LOVE THIS SERIES AKJASFDJK READ IT. It’s SO good and I love their actions scenes and the BACKSTORY OMFG THE BACKSTORY. The proposal fic was SO GOOD AAJSFJLS. Like everyone is done so well in these fics and the plot progression? YES PLEASE.

Hell Mission by codename_bewareofthefangirl (T) 22.7k /IwaOi/ okay IwaOi yes yes but Akaashi? MVP boys. It do be like that sometimes hehe. Anyway, the interactions between them (IwaOi and the whole squad) are gold. Also Iwa and the shower scene? Yes daddy ;)

sorry baby by sketchedsmiles (M) 34.3k /SunaOsa/ THIS!!! Okay you might be thinking wow this seems weird but just read it. I love the way their relationship slowly comes to be and like at the end SakuAtsu just knows ajkfhaldjf. Also when Osamu did the thing (at the hotel) I FREAKED OUT LIKE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT but it’s okay. They fixed it :’)

bang! now we're even by Authoress (M) 11.9k /BokuAka/ yes you might recognize this from my other post LOL, but I really love this fic so here it is. AGAIN HEHE. Also, Akaashi in a dress? Like the tags might state, what more do you need? The characters are done beautifully, and the story development is SO good (like THE TWIST UGH).

hq detective AUs by valiantarmor /BokuAka, KuroKen, IwaOi/ again, from that same post EHEHE. Man do I really love fighting in my fics LOL. This was super good and the plot itself kept me really engaged (what a twist omg). It does talk a bit about mental health issues, but it’s done so well, and they really did this AU justice! The three fics can be read separately BUT they’re all done so well, I think you should read them all :)

The One With The Spies by hangoverhater /Multi (but mainly IwaOi)/ PLEASE,,, the fics in this series? HILARIOUS. THE SECOND FIC ”Well, this is a nice change of scenery.” “It’s a prison cell.” “I was being sarcastic.” HAD ME DYING. Poor Daichi, he really needs those days off :)))))

on the eighteenth by skittidyne (T) 5k /KuroKen/ I love fics where the characters are forced to face their feelings. This is one of those fics LOL. It’s done so well and the small details (as Kenma loves) are inserted really well. Like the first night where they fake doing stuff? Amazing LOL.

Punches by Sebastians_senpai (M) 1.5k /IwaOi/ hot Iwa hot bamf Iwa. Like entrance? Hot. Killing people? Hot. Anyway I want a boyfriend who will protect me if I get hurt. Can I be Oikawa? (you know being Oikawa would be an honor in itself)

just a boy undercover (and a boy with the getaway) by volchitsae (M) 14.1k /SakuAtsu/ twin fight rendition number idk but it’s good so whatever LOL. Is it really a SakuAtsu fic without one mention of a major twin fight? (probably yes but in this case no LOL) This one was SO good and I love how annoying Sakusa is >>>> for Atsumu. Also the acceptance at the end ajfakdlf HEART WARMED.

to crash in orbit by aceun (T) 2.8k /SunaOsa/ I LOVE BEING UNPROFESSIONAL ON THE JOB!!!!!! I adore how they know each other’s tendencies and how Osamu is like, I know he’s hot LOL. Also when they talked about Rome and Prague it made me laugh OMG. And RIP Osamu’s watch, worked hard never to be seen again LOL.

the unfinished kiss by Ellieb3an (E) 6.3k /SakuAtsu/ I told myself, less or no smut, but here we are. Honestly you’d think I learn I never stick to my own rules LOL. Anyway, this is SPICY so avoid if you don’t like smut heheh. I absolutely love when they use fighting as foreplay like adflkhf yes PUNCH HIS FACE (does that make me violent? probably LOL).

In knives and bullets by badreputation (M) 8.3k /SunaOsa/ UGH this one. Suna and Osamu’s relationship is *chef’s kiss*. And like I love how it isn’t too rushed and they took their time (also angry Suna is HOT). Like the tension at the house during the thing and then the PROPOSAL (LIKE YES). I always find myself coming back to this fic cause I just really love it <3

training by Sebastians_senpai (M) 3.2k /IwaOi/ again the smut.... ANyway, this one is some bamf Oikawa and head-made-of-steel Iwa LOL. Also some avengers talk makes it’s way up (and need I say, Iwa probably did look hot af when he did that), and him constantly hitting the other guy (cause spoilers hehe) made me laugh (ie. targeting LOL).

glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k /SunaOsa/ OKAY I said nO mAfIa Au’s well.... Technically it’s a SPY mafia AU so teehee. Also another repost cause why not LOL (but altered cause my writing is atrocious). The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s a non-linear fic (which I really liked, cause I love non-linear hehe) and the organization just adds another level to the fic development!

I love BAMF so if you have any to recommend, DO IT. Always up for more bamf/spy/secret agent AU’s HEHE. Also this turned into a collection of the same ships LOL IM SORRY, but I have a type and I think it’s very obvious hehe. I hope you all were careful about tags because I got lazy LOL. And this wasn’t in any particular order so I should’ve done it by ship, but I’m too lazy to do it now LOL. Hopefully, you all enjoyed this list and tbh for my other lists tbd, I might take out commentary and just put like the names (with links ofc). We’ll see LOL. Stay safe and have a great day! <3

[ignalina-c0re]

Dude Spotting Guide for Chernobyl HBO

A guide to spotting all the dudes and like three dudettes, cause there’s only so many white guys in white overalls that you can remember at any given time lol 

It has too many details. Yell if you spotted a dude you want on here and i’ll add them or something @sunset-and-periwinkle​ @owlboxes​ @borislegasov​ @natasharedfox​ @litttlesilkworm​ @shark-from-the-park​ @stellan-pip-69​ @seaweednpeanuts​ @kylos-scarf​ idk who else requested it, tag everyone, we need electricians we need mechanics we need bodies

NPP STAFF:

Akimov, Aleksandr Fyodorovich, shift foreman of the fifth shift in Unit 4 (32):

Brazhnik, Vyacheslav Stepanovich, senior turbine machinist operator (28):

(he’s such a background character it’s hard to get pics of him lol) Bryukhanov, Viktor Petrovich, plant director (51):

Degtyarenko, Viktor Mikhailovich, reactor operator (31): 

Dyatlov, Anatoly Stepanovich, deputy chief engineer of phase two (55): 

Gorbachenko, Nikolai Fedorovich, dosimetrist on duty (?):

Fomin, Nikolai M., chief engineer (50) (jesus fuck i know i read his patronymic somewhere but i can’t find it now and it’s bugging the hell out of me help):

(it’s Nikolai Mweaselyfucker Fomin, and i don’t know when he was born but i’m 98% sure he’s a pisces, this is the kind of shit one of us would pull)

Khodemchuk, Valery Ilyich, senior main circulating pump operator (35):

Kirschenbaum, Igor, senior turbine control engineer (27): 

Kudryavstev, Aleksandr Gennadiyevich, trainee senior reactor control engineer (28):

Perevozchenko, Valery Ivanovich, reactor section foreman (38):

Proskuryakov, Viktor Vasilyevich, trainee senior reactor control engineer (31):

Sitnikov, Anatoly Andreyevich, deputy chief operational engineer (46):

Stolyarchuk, Boris Vasiliyevich, senior unit control engineer (late 20s):

Toptunov, Leonid Feydorovich, senior reactor control engineer (26):

Yuvchenko, Aleksandr, senior mechanical engineer (24):

PRIPYAT:

Ignatenko, Lyudmilla, loving wife (23):

Ignatenko, Vasily Ivanovich, firefighter (25):

Pravik, Volodomyr Pavlovich, firefighter (liutenant) (23):

Misha, Meesha, firefighter (23) (no he isn’t): 

Oksana, exposition device (30):

Mikhail, cleans floors at a train station (prolly also 30):

Baby, tragedy (baby):

Zinchenko, Svetlana, doctor (25):

Zharkov, personification of The Bad System (old enough to shut the fuck up): 

Petrov, voice of sanity (30):

Kirill Yuvchenko, future doctor, current toothless kid (2):

LIQUIDATION:

Legasov, Valery Alekseyevich, deputy director of the Kurchatov Institute of Atomic Energy (50):

Scherbina, Boris Yevdokimovich, vice-chairman of the Council of Ministers, (67):

Khomyuk, Ulana Yuriyvna, chief physicist of the Byelarusian Institute for Nuclear Energy (40s):

Pikalov, Vladimir Karpovich, general, commander of the Chemical Troops of the USSR (62):

Tarakanov, Nikolai Dmitrievich, general, Soviet military leader, motivational speaker and sex symbol (script says 45, but actually he was 52):

Ananenko, Oleksii, mechanical engineer (27):

Bezpalov, Valery, senior engineer (script says 40? i think? truth to be told we don’t even seem to know how his name is spelled. is it a Bezpalov or Bespalov? who are you dude?):

(actually i think it should be Bespalov, jsyk)

Baranov, Boris, shift supervisor (46):

Glukhov, Andrei, mining crew chief (40):

Jughashvili, robot operator (probably too young):

Gremov/Yefremov , Pavel Ivanovich/Miklailovich , conscript, animal control (23): 

(i grabbed his full name off of fcken tvtropes lol) (other name version as heard by @litttlesilkworm​

Bacho, Afghanistan veteran, animal control (vodka dad) (36):

Garo, Afghanistan veteran, animal control (30):

Janek, not Latvian, Estonian (25):

POLITICS:

Gorbachev, Mikhail Sergeyevich, General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (55)

Charkov, Aleksandr, KGB first deputy chairman, (63):

Shadov, Mikhail, Minister of Coal Industries (40s)

Garanin, worked in a shoe factory, now in charge (57, overfed):

Chulkov, poet, timewaster (50s): 

Stepashin, Andrei, state prosecutor (50):

Kadnikov, Milan, judge (55) (no he isn’t):

OTHER DUDES AND DUDETTES TO SPOT:

Dmitri, physicist of the Byelarusian Institute for Nuclear Energy (30):

Marina Gruzinskaya, scientist, a smart lady (40s):

Major Burov, he allows it (45):

[heroofthreefaces]

Tagged in a you’re-tagged-if-you-wanna way by @iwilltrytobereasonable

1. Why did you choose your url? 

It’s the name of my fanfiction webcomic, a play both on the title of Joseph Campbell’s seminal work and on that they’re stick figures except they’re triangles.

2. Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

The only one which has remained active past its first few months or years is @not-caused-by-those-who-love. About a year ago in the middle beginning of the pandemic and the presidential campaign cycle, I finally bit the bullet and did what I thought I perhaps should have done at the beginning of this blog, and began to separate out the activism and heavy matters reblogs and posts onto a sideblog, so that my main hopefully is safe for people who tumbl to get away from all that. The blog title is an allusion to dialog in my concluded general interest webcomic, Arthur, King of Time and Space, “The problems of the world are not caused by those who love. They’re caused by those who hate.” This is my summation of both the fall of Camelot and the present state of the USA (where I live) and the world.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? 

Since the end of August 2012.

4. Do you have a queue tag? 

Never. Some years ago I began queuing almost everything by default anyway so it wouldn’t have any significance.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? 

I logged onto Tumblr with the idea that this blog would be primarily focused on The Hero of Three Faces with reprints and the kind of reader-and-creator discussion you get on a webcomic’s bulletin board, but it hasn’t turned out that way. 

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? 

I’ve been using this icon, with progressively less color in the hair, on all my social media for fifteen or twenty years.

7. Why did you choose your header? 

It’s a panel from Three Faces meant to summarize it (as well as any single panel could). It has the Doctor from Doctor Who, my favorite and the central character of Three Faces and in her latest incarnation, because I love crossovers and there’s no better literal and literary device to facilitate crossovers than a time machine. It has Michael Burnham, the lead of the current most long-running series of Star Trek, my other lifetime favorite; and it has Spock, the most popular legacy character in the franchise if you go by number of appearances in other series than his own, as he appeared in Burham’s series. And it depicts Spock’s first meeting with the Doctor, though because timey-wimey it’s not the Doctor’s first meeting with Spock. This is actually a year or two out of date and I should prolly pick a newer panel.

8. What’s your post with the most notes? 

I think it’s The Solution of Susan, a short Doctor Who/Narnia crossover.

9. How many mutuals do you have? 

I wouldn’t know how to start going about guessing that, except perhaps to page through my followees and count which would take more time and effort than my emotional investment in the question warrants.

10. How many followers do you have? 

Counting any bots because I don’t take the time and effort to purge them, about 1100.

11. How many people do you follow? 

714.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I’m too uncertain of what constitutes a shitpost to confirm or deny.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day? 

I live here.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won? 

Once, and I’m pretty sure we each think we won.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? 

I reserve the right to exercise my own judgment.

16. Do you like tag games? 

Some of them.

17. Do you like ask games? 

Yes.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? 

I think the only Tumblr-famous blogger whom I know and have seen to have followed me back is argumate.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? 

Several of course but they’re all taken, too young for me, and/or hundreds of miles away.

20. Tags: 

You’re tagged if you wanna.

[rurifangirl]

sum oc asks as a lil treat💅💅

Kayn🌸

Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? 

Kida🌸

If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? 

Syndra🌸

How did you choose their name? 

Myst🌸

What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

Shou🌸

What is something about your OC can make you laugh? 

Avril🌸

What is something about your OC can make you cry? 

Quinn🌸

Are they based off of you, in some way? 

💜-

Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? 

I think,, how much I've kinda babied him.

Like don't get me wrong, he's still really caring and would go outta his way to make people feel better, but at the same time, I feel like i didn't quite make clear development, or that something just isn't fully right.

He did things that did end up in people dying, or doin so at least once himself, sure, but I'm not rly sure If this comes across, and I don't want him to feel as plain. As if just being an "uwu dude" Is all he's about.

There's much more layers, but since by now it's really long and tough to talk bout, i won't mention that too much.

Also yes i will keep joking about calling him uwu dude im not takin It that far😭😭Just,, know that's not his whole character

💮-

If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? 

HOLY SHIT, THIS MADE ME REMEMBER KAYNS DAD EXSITSTDUD😭😭😭

I really have to work on him huh

Anyways, for most i can say cus I'll be workin on em today, most of her character didn't rly need to be that changed, and even if she would be a lot more nervous and more likely to fuck up, she's just vibin.

Even when her n her husband (I'll give em a name i promise) were in Cassel, they just had that strange duo Dynamic, and much didn't change from that. At least, from Kida's part.

⛩️-

How did you choose their name? 

I,, didn't know fantasy name generator existed,, SO I FUCKING THOUGHT OF THE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS CHARACTER N WENT "OH YEYE LET'S CHOOSE THAT NAME"😭😭

🎸-

What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 

I think it's prolly his clothes??? Idk, one thing I really like to draw for her are his hair. I love It sm it's incredibile

🍵-

What is something about your OC can make you laugh? 

Apart from,, his name litteraly being pronounced as shoe, one thing that always gets me is that, noone really takes him seriously. And when shit goes like he said, the gang still makes fun of him, for kinda the exception of Qiran n Lyva. He could word shit like someone rly important and they'd be "do the shoe."

Though, even his timin at times Is so comical It makes me cacklee 😭😭

👁️‍🗨️-

What is something about your OC can make you cry? 

Ohhhhh boy, I should go more into his backstory, and since it's kinda long, I'll be REALLY brief.

Soso, she didn't have the greatest household to begin with, and bein adopted twice made everything in the meanwhile too complicated for him.

The first time, It wasn't so pleasent, being looked up with fear cus paraappapa, i decided onto makin her half demon, so in that case his old fam did the most to hide/soccomb everythin that had to be around that.

And It brought him physical and later on so much emotional pain, which made him hardly ever trusting people, unless It was a very deep emotional bond.

That's also part of the reason Avril's relatively weak, because he couldn't have evolved her abilities, and as such has an hard time with self control. Which makes her distanciate even more with people. And tried to do the same w Quinn.

The other adoption was a lot better, but since he was older and had much experience w bad fams, he didn't tell them bout It, and now has to live with that.

YES THIS SORT OF SHIT MAKES ME CRY HE NEEDS SO MUCH INAGEKWKAK😭

💕-

Are they based off of you, in some way? 

I mean, I think it's the chill part??? Kinda??? I dunno, they're mostly a "yeye do yo thing" and I'm kinda like that too, but I wouldn't say she's that based off me tbh. She's too all round and ready to fight a bitch for me, even if i gave em that chilness.

Tags undercut:

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @nadi-117 @dopesaladlady @audre-falrose

[leavetwn]

* AMANDA CAMPANA, NOBINARY + SHE/HER/THEY/THEM  | you know RAMONA GALLO, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, TWENTY-THREE YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to CRYING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR BY MUNA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole COLD PIZZA AS A HANGOVER CURE, TALKING SHIT ABOUT CUSTOMERS IN THE BREAKROOM, LONGING FOR WHAT COULD'VE BEEN,  thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 17TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

HEY , BESTIES ! happy new year (the way it’s 11:55pm here so barely) !! my name’s claire and i’m 22. i’m livin in the est timezone, and my pronouns are she/her. i’m bringing y’all a mess of a muse 😈 because well  ,,, it’s what i’m best at. if you��re feelin ramona & wanna plot, just go ahead and like this & i’ll hit you up. i usually plot on discord, but if you prefer the tumblr ims, that’s no problem at all. anyway, lemme stop waistin time and get to introducing you to ramona. * tw: mentions of cheating & alcohol. 

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: ramona gallo.  nickname(s): anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-three. date of birth: august 17th. zodiac sign: leo. gender/pronouns: non-binary, she/her/they/them. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: irving, north carolina. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: employee at zoinkies currently,  a lifeguard during the summer. eye color: brown. hair color/style: had long hair up until her breakup then had one of those breakdowns and cut her own hair into a bob and then her own bangs. i bet it was a mess lol so she probably called her friends or went to a salon the very next day to get it fixed. also highlighted the ends red but her natural color is brown. height : 5′5″. clothing style: simple and comfortable. t-shirts, croptops, turtlenecks, all usually paired with either jean shorts or jeans in general. she prefers to feel cozy rather than cute. tattoos: yes. a small one on her wrist. wants more eventually. piercings: both ears peirced & a navel piercing that she did herself against better judgement lol.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

you were born on a scorching hot day in irving , your father says so, anyway. you’re convinced he’s being dramatic. your birth went smoothly; after two previous children, your parents had become disillusioned by childbirth. just another one to add to the bunch, and one that was meant to save a dying marriage. still, they loved you nonetheless. your father, to this day. your mother, until you were ten, and then she up and left without a warning. 

your father keeps food on the table by fixing cars. you spend your days in the hot sun watching him replace parts and continuously try to crank vehicles until they run. he fist pumps every time one does. ‘ how lame, ’ you think, but it’s inspiring how hard he works to take care of three kids. and he does a good job. 

therefore , you spend much of your early life trying to make him proud. you’re smart as a whip, and all your teachers have good things to say about you when it comes to academics. you’re a bit of a troublemaker, though. your father doesn’t mind that too much; he was the same at your age. and he’s proud  —  proud to see you work so hard. 

you spend your teenage years doing much of the same. though , you begin to come home a bit later than usual, and your excuse is that you’ve been at ashley’s or samantha’s, but really all three of you were out partying. you don’t think your father would care (your grades are fine & he wants you to live like a normal teenager) ,  but you still lie about it. why ? well, who knows, maybe you like the adrenaline rush it gives you. like most things, you do them for the thrill. 

you join the swim team. you’re kind of bad , but that’s okay. just like always , you work hard, and you realize that you’re kind of a natural. your father cheers louder than anyone else in the stands. it pushes you to do better. with your good grades and athletics , your guidance counselor tells you you’re a shoo in for a scholarship from whatever university you want. you apply to several. if it’s one thing you hate, its this town. you can’t wait to make it out, and you figure, this might be your only way. 

you’re eighteen, and you’re in love. it’s crazy how love can make you see things differently. suddenly , this town doesn’t seem half bad. all your friends find it cute , and you tell them everything. the things he tells you or the way he makes you feel. it’s a crazy feeling; you never want it to end. 

you throw your cap in the air. finally , high school is over. college is looming. you’ve been accepted to several & received scholarships from at least a few. you lie in bed thinking about it. now, you suddenly don’t want to leave so bad. don’t want to leave him behind. how could someone leave another they love so easily? it makes you hate your mother more.

for the first time, you disappoint your father. you don’t go to college. you don’t give a damn. you want to stay where love is. you’re addicted to the feeling. this lasts for three years. now, you’re twenty-one; you’ve gotten a job at zoinkies, and that keeps you away for most of the day. you randomly decide to visit your boyfriend during a lunch break one day. you find him in bed with someone else. suddenly , you realize love isn’t as addicting as you once thought. what once made the world beautiful now made it hideous. what once made you feel so high had somehow made you feel so low. it was horrible, and you’d realized your mistakes. 

you threw away your future for love. something as rotten and twisted as love. something you swore you’d never let yourself feel again. something that you put away in a locked box with no key. irving was the same place you’d always known it to be. boring, drab, familiar. at least you had your family. that was barely enough to keep you sane, though, and it was hard to feel normal.

you turned to the thing that help. alcohol, partying, any escape at all. you lacked coping skills   —  that much was clear, but you didn’t care. you blamed it on something else entirely. just as your teachers had said, you’re a bit of a troublemaker. you do anything to make yourself feel alive, to make yourself feel free of the hurt. 

it’s two years later now. you’re still not over it in some ways, as regret turns to anger and resentment. you’re bitter. who wouldn’t be? but you feel like you’ve had time to mourn. maybe it’s because you never acknowledged it in the way you should’ve ( it’s still locked away in that box. ) you still have your bad habits. you still work at your stupid job that you hate. you’re lost, but you’ll figure it out. you always do. so, you continue to float , seemingly stuck in the town that you never let go of, and you wonder what comes next. only time will tell.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

still swims but doesn’t have as much time for it. probably not as good, but since she spends the summer lifeguarding, she uses that time to practice & try to get back to where she was. also kinda jaded asf so even if she says she wants to get back into it, she probably won’t lmaoo.

is a horrible driver. how did she get a license ?? not even she knows. def the type to like have a leg up on the dash board, hand out the window, and only one hand on the wheel while speedin idk how she makes it out alive

can take a car apart and put it back together again thanks to her dad. also changes her own tires so let her change your tires. im just sayin 

stays up way too late & would sleep until 2 pm everyday if she didn’t have to work. should probably work on being an adult and going to bed at a normal time but just half the time doesn’t give a fuck so she’s probably sleep deprived a lot. therefore also has a 

character parallels: alice ayres/jane jones (closer, 2004) , clementine (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, 2004) , fiona gallagher (shameless, 2011-present) , more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

ok but plots really do be making my world go ‘round. 😳 i love em, so literally hmu with anything you’re feeling, and i’ll be down. just wanna plot & write with everyone 💕 but here’s a couple of wanted connections for y’all. i’ll prolly have a most wanted tag sooner or later & i’ma be make a plot page soon.  

* the unholy trinity  — these two are the friends she cherishes most. i’m assuming they’ve been friends since at least early high school , maybe earlier. they went through a lot together. these two were with her through all her relationship troubles. true ride or dies. she’s do absolutely anything for them, and she trusts that they feel the same way. they’re rowdy & wild, do whatever they want, and have a damn good time doin it. also have a gc where they just talk shit and send tiktoks idk just gimme this plsss 🥺

* friends with benefits / one night stands  —  this would probably be the extent of ramona. clearly not over what happened to her the last time 😭, so she’d have plenty of these tbh. she probably wouldn’t think too much about it, but it could be awkward for you muse maybe, etc. 

* unrequited love / crush  —  here’s a toast to the ones who crush on ramona. it would be an absolute tragedy lmaoo. she’s not really mean about it, but she is 100% certain she’s not looking for any type of relationship. could be really dramatic and messy and those are tha best kind. literally this

* former friends / enemies  —  she’s lived here her whole life, so she’s at least got one. these two just don’t get along/no longer get along for whatever reason that can be plotted out. 

* coworkers   — she works zoinkies throughout the year and picks up shifts as a lifeguard during the summer so your muses could know her from that. could delve into a close friend territory too lmao. they probably just sit in break rooms and talk about rude customers or bossy managers lmaooo.

* literally anything your heart desires — a lot could work. we could even just start from nowhere & have them meet for the first time if they’re newer/just to town. 

[chaoticspacefam]

I was tagged by @darth-bagel thank you! I shall tag (no pressure as always and feel free to ignore!) : @a-muirehen , @palepinkycat , @walk-ng-d-saster , @kyber-heart and @berriku <3

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name/Nickname: I usually go by Elf/Elven online, tho my gf also calls me Boyscout (it’s an inside joke we have XD)

Gender: Cis female

Star sign: Taurus  ♉

Height: 5′4″ (I can’t believe I’m actually taller than someone, sorry Bagel!)

Birthday: April 21st. Prolly gonna be spending another birthday in lockdown but hey, at least I can either play SWTOR with some buds or ARK with dad this time so that’ll prob be what I’ll be doing. Gotta make the most of it

Time: as I’m finishing this to post it, it is 1:22pm

Favorite bands: I have a lot so hold onto your hats lmao: Fall Out Boy, Glass Animals, Panic! At The Disco, Hop Along (not sure if these two still count as bands or if they’d fall under solo now...), MISSIO, 30 Seconds to Mars, Shinedown, Lord Huron is apparently a band now too tho he started solo owo, The Oh Hellos, Of Monsters And Men, The Antlers, PVRIS, Bastille, Young Heretics, Dorothy, The Crane Wives, The Mountain Goats

Favorite solo artists: Hozier, Willyecho (pretty sure he’s solo? XD), Billie Eilish, Ed Sheeran, Lorde, Mikky Ekko, Iron & Wine, Marina (& The Diamonds), Florence & The Machine, EDEN, P!nk, Keaton Henson, Amanda Palmer, Halsey, Radical Face, grandson, Lincoln

Song stuck in my head: as of this morning, The Mighty Fall by Fall Out Boy

Last movie: Uuuhh, pretty sure it was Hotel Transylvania 2, I was feeling icky the other day and needed to laugh so XD

Last show: The Alien Worlds series on Netflix, it’s really cool even if I wish they’dve come up with better names for the alien critters ¬_¬

When did I create this blog: Oh, not that long ago actually, funnily enough. I’ve been in and out of tumblr for a long while but never made my own blog(s) till about March last year (2020)

What do I post: this blog is exclusively SWTOR (and KOTOR) related stuff, anything from awesome art, writing and headcanons from mutuals, to my own art, screencaps from my and mutuals’ gameplay, to my own fics, headcanons and stuff. My other blog is for “canon” Star Wars, general fandom/gaming stuff etc. Very occasionally I might post non-swtor posts like this one here if I feel it “belongs” in the “get to know elven” tag

Last thing I googled: "acnh how many villagers can you have” - I wasn’t sure what the limit was and I play sporadically so I didn’t know, don’t laugh at me LMAO

Other blogs: just my other/main blog: @itstheelvenjedi​ . There’s “canon”-era Star Wars, LotR/The Hobbit stuff as well as a little bit of Warrior Cats, other gaming (mainly ARK: Survival Evolved atm), as well as a tiny bit of politics and ranty stuff. All is properly tagged so you can block any tags you don’t want to see.

Do I get asks: I do! I’m kinda slow answering them sometimes but I promise if you send me one I will always answer it and I appreciate every single one <3

Why I chose my url: ok, so, my mains are mostly wlw - except for Kas - (and yes, wlw can use the word “lesbian” if we want to, as a demisexual wlw person I will beat you with my crutch, fuck off, it’s a blanket wlw term just like “sapphic” and you don’t get to decide what I can and cannot call myself or my characters, you’re not me), they’re chaotic and they live in the SWTOR verse which is sometimes affectionately called a “space opera” so: chaoticspacelesbians. my main blog is because “TheElvenJedi” has been my main online pseud since about 2014, but theelvenjedi was apparently taken when I made my tumblr so I had to add something else to the beginning, therefore I went with itstheelvenjedi cause it was the closest thing to theelvenjedi and easy for me to remember XD

Following: 229 apparently (oop. I should probably....go through that and trim out the year+ inactive blogs huh o.o)

Followers: 90 (holy crackers where did you all come from LMAO am I really that funny???)

Average hours of sleep: I try to stick to at least 7, sometimes when insomnia hits tho it’s more like 4... >__<

Lucky number: 4 again! I just really dig it, it’s a cool number.

Instruments: I used to play recorder, and I took a couple drum lessons in primary school but couldn’t afford to keep it up ;-; it was fun while it lasted tho!

What am I wearing: ...my pyjamas and a dressing gown. It’s cold and I don’t have to go out or expect visitors today so I’m staying warm. Don’t judge me LOL

Dream job: I would’ve loved to have done either Riding Groom/Jockey (which I might have managed 6 or so years back but uhhh, I can’t handle the physical strain anymore, thanks granny joints!) or Animal Assisted Therapy, but there’s no way I can cope with managing my own business, it’s too much for me qwq A lot of things are Too Much For Me, unfortunately. I will take working checkout at a grocery store at the rate I’m going now tbh.

Dream trip: 1) to visit the gf in Germany and see the Christmas Markets there, and also 2) to go to New Zealand and visit the Hobbit/LotR sets and see all the wildlife :’D

Favorite food: Mac n cheese, it’s just...so good....

Nationality: South African/British (yes, I am in fact dual-national even if my SA passport has expired and I can’t find money to renew it, it’s on my birth certificate and in my blood so HAH)

Favorite song: I have...a few... but uhh Bruno Is Orange - Hop Along Bury Me Face Down - grandson Domestic Bliss - Glass Animals (TW: abuse mention, abusive relationship) Raise Hell - Dorothy Woman King - Iron & Wine Save Rock n Roll - Fall Out Boy Saint Bernard - Lincoln I could go on for a while but these are the ones that oft live in my head rent-free XD

Last book read: I don’t even know, tbh....I haven’t been able to focus on reading in a while 😅

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in:

1. SWtOR (obviously. Gimme a lightsaber and Force powers, stat!)

2. LotR/The Hobbit

3. ARK: Survival Evolved (I’d prolly get eaten by a t-rex or a spino in like 5 mins but hey, the thought of actually having a bunch of pet prehistoric animals is nice~)

[vanchlo]

The Assistant / Chapter Thirty-Three, “If It Kills Me”

A story about what happens when she can’t be just his assistant anymore, and he can no longer be only her boss. Now, can they be happy with being just friends?

Read this story from the beginning here! :-) 

Inspo tag here!

*NEW* Spotify playlist in the works can be found here, songs that inspire me for the story and have significance in the story c: 

Warnings: one brief mention of vomiting, and some mild language.

                                   SNEAKY PEEEEEEEEEEEK

“And Becky’s face consumes my thoughts, much like it’s been captivating my conscience as of recent. Rather unsurprisingly. 

There it remains for days, much like it has been. It follows me through the air as I stare out the window, floating above the clouds. It crops into my conversations, leeching any enjoyment gathered from them. I even see it in a crowd of people inside the walls of the courtroom before I deliver my closing statement. When I look a second time, I’m disappointed to find the eyes of a stranger. 

I only find a respite from longing for her face when I turn my phone off, trying to stop wondering why she won’t return my texts. That thought only sticks to all of my others during the coming week with more ignored texts, craving her voice, and sufficing for browsing her Instagram. Her face. That smile. The smell that sat in the corner of her neck. I miss all of it.”

Song Inspiration: If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz (click to listen)

            “It’s like before it’s gonna storm, you know? You can’t see it, but you can feel it, like this, uh electricity, you know?” - Steve Harrington, Stranger Things 

The warm rays hit my cheeks as my sandals pound on the pavement. I wonder how I could ever be unhappy given the May sun shining down on me, and walking from my favorite restaurant. Without fail, the blissful idea is stolen away by a swarm of thoughts dosed in reality. And a particular one that reminds me of what I need to do, despite the dread I’ve been feeling. Not even the former respite of Asher’s hug after our shared lunch can keep them away. 

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I swipe through my apps until I find the right one. Stopping in front of my gray car, I lean against the door with a huff. My thumbs hover across the screen nervously, followed by a curse under my breath. Quickly, they flit across the screen composing words in front of my eyes. Sliding into my driver seat, I stare at the screen for a moment longer before hitting send. 

I wait for the chime to come, telling me I have a new message, from him. Nervousness coats my limbs and only grows worse as the minutes tick by driving home. Waiting. But when I check my phone after walking in the door, my lock screen showing my dad and I’s smiling faces is blank. 

No new messages. 

Sliding off my black sandals, I pad through the shared living room and kitchen area before reaching my bedroom. My laptop beckons for me across the room on my desk, and I sit down before it. I hope that maybe if I don’t procrastinate this specific thing, maybe things will turn out a little better. But as I’m opening a study guide for Family Law’s final exam, I’m proven wrong. 

The chime grabs my attention immediately, making my fingers still on the keyboard. Flitting my eyes to the lavender Speck phone case, I grow antsy at wondering who the text is from. And what it says. Inhaling nervously, I pick it up and wake up the screen. The few words of a preview I see of the text cues a sour anxiousness to grow in my stomach. Bringing my knees up onto my chair, I pull them against my chest as I open the text. 

Me

Hey I’m so sorry I’ve been terrible at texting back, finals these next two weeks are getting to me. Speaking of that I realized that I have to take a final at the time we’re supposed to get lunch in a few days. I’m really sorry but can we reschedule . . . again? I was thinking in two weeks when I’m finally free from the clutches of uni????? :( 

Harry 

sorry cant love. im in edinburgh all that week for a case. lets talk about it when im back. good luck w finals xx

Sighing, I type up a short response, agreeing to that. With guilt casting a shadow over me, I return my attention to the lengthy study guide. The gross feeling in my stomach remains, and with its arrival, my excitement for our lunch date is replaced with disappointment. I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks since we rescheduled it the first time, due to me messing up the dates, again. Peeking my eyes at my phone, I turn away and slump against my chair. 

It’s been a month since I saw him last, and although we’ve sent a handful of texts, they haven’t been enough for me. Skye, of course, told me that there’s nothing stopping me from showing up at his office door, but she’s wrong. I don’t know his schedule anymore, and for all I know, I’d be waiting around for him. Plus, my appearance would just yell ‘desperate!’ Sometimes, I wonder what little world Skye is tucked away into that’s far simpler, not realizing I still have to work during the day, especially more so this summer. 

But as the days drag on with chemo and radiation appointments, and lectures upon lectures, I think maybe Skye has the right idea being so optimistic. Maybe. 

+

Over the next few weeks, I see him at almost every corner I turn, and it hurts more than it should after all these weeks. The ignored texts shouldn’t feel like a fresh stab wound when I see that Scrabble box in the family room, get on that very same lift, or walk past the nurse’s station I found him leaning against that morning. Nothing compares to the piano and the pang I feel in my chest at the sight of it. It comes every time I walk through those doors and am reminded of the intimacy held on those keys. No, it didn’t get easier after the first time being back there with my dad, or the fifth time. Avoiding that gray sofa like the plague only reminded me of the texts I sent him that went unanswered. I can’t blame him though, because like a bitch, I took a week sometimes to reply to him. 

The tight feeling in my chest only feels heavier as I sit on the plaid couch in my childhood living room. I can’t even enjoy watching FRIENDS like I used to be able to, as their faces bring forth the sound of his laugh. It pains me to turn down their voices as I dig my phone out from under the cushions. I try not to let it get to me when I, once again, find no new text messages. My attempt is futile and it only causes me to take longer to open the phone app. By now, I know his number by heart, but my shaky hands cause me to mess up a few times. 

Pressing the phone to my ear, all I can hear is its ringing and the pounding of my heart. As the seconds drag on, I’m almost certain I’ll hear the voicemail next. But then I’m pleasantly surprised, although the bitterness in my stomach blossoms. 

“Hullo?” His gravelly voice pulls my lips into an instant smile. Rubbing the back of my neck anxiously, the words fall from my lips hurriedly. 

“Hi, Harry.”

“Hey, how’s it goin’?” he responds curtly, a clattering noise heard in the background before he mutters a ‘shit.’

“I’m sorry, did I call at a bad time?” I ask quickly, regret filling my veins. 

“No, yer fine. ‘m jus’ makin’ dinna.”

“Oh um, nice. What are you cooking?” I inquire, twirling the braided silver ring on my pointer finger. Swallowing, I wait to hear his molasses drawl again, like music to my ears. 

“Jus’ a stir fry. So . . . why’d ya ring?” Harry responds, a coolness hugging his voice. 

“Um, I haven’t heard from you in a while and wanted to say hi.”

“Hi,” he hums awkwardly, followed by the sound of a door closing. Squeezing my eyes shut, uneasiness falls over me in a wave. Oddly, I wonder if all of a sudden I can’t call to say hi. “Ya, we’ve both been busy. Cases fer me, an’ prolly uni an’ yer dad’s treatments fer you.”

“Yeah,” I agree aloud, my chin falling to rest in my palm. But it leaves a second later to lose my fingers in my hair. “I wanted to tell you that I finished my finals last week, so now I just have clinical left in the fall. Oh, and my dad got to ring the bell today. He’s all done with chemo and radiation after his scans all looked good. It’s hard to believe that he’s cancer-free. His doctors will, of course, have to keep an eye on him in the future to make sure it doesn’t come back, but I couldn’t be happier.” 

“Tha’s wonderful, love,” Harry coos into my ear, the first notes of happiness heard in his voice. It begins to put me at ease, and cause me to think maybe something isn’t off after all. “‘m really glad t’ hear that- well both o’ those things.”

Unbeknownst to me, I find myself nodding along with his words as if I needed his confirmation. But his words stop there, and the sickening feeling that something is wrong settles back in. A small ‘yeah’ stumbles off my lips as my fingers form into a fist in my lap, debating what to say next. Or if I should ask what I’ve been wanting to say the entire time. 

“We weren’t able to get ahold of each other a few weeks ago to reschedule lunch. Would you still like to?” Going out on a limb, I let the words fly. 

I watch for them apprehensively, uncertain if they’ll take flight. The loud sound from his side, the subsequent shuffling, and a voice saying his name shoots them down hastily. 

“‘m sorry, I gotta go. ‘ll text ya ‘bout gettin’ lunch,” Harry remarks, his words stringing together swiftly. I barely have the chance to say an ‘okay’ before he abruptly hangs up, sewing together an unwanted thought for me. 

Tossing my phone to the other end of the couch, I fall back against the cushions. Turning up the volume of the telly, I avert my gaze back to the make-believe world I’ve always taken comfort in. As the phone call gnaws away at my insides, planting insecurities every few steps, I let the characters whisk me away. Even if their faces and familiar jokes will now never stop reminding me of him, and something I let go of that I didn’t know I had. I only feel worse when I realize that I knew then that he’d never send that text, and I think he knew that, too.

+

“Staring at it isn’t going to make it ring, y’know,” somebody states, pulling me from my webs of thoughts. 

Lifting my attention away from the black screen in my hand, I catch Myles looking at me impatiently. 

“Wha- ‘m sorry. I was listenin’.”

“Then what’d I just say?” he requests, the hand propped against his chin rising in a silent question. 

My lips fall apart to welcome my voice, but nothing comes out. Shrugging, he receives his answer and replies with a disapproving glare. 

“Hare, this is important stuff. We’re leaving for Edinburgh tomorrow for the case, it’s a huge one.”

“I know, My. Jus’ repeat what ya said, please,” I huff, batting a hand at him. His eyes roll into the back of his head when he leans back in his leather chair. 

“I swear to God, Harry, I-.”

“Stop,” I retort, growing annoyed. 

He plays with the point of his quiffed blonde hair before clearing his throat. Although I try to listen the second time around, my gaze is lulled back to my laptop screen. My fingers itch to touch the keys and type up words, and when Myles begrudgingly answers his ringing phone, I find my chance. Sliding my silent phone into my pocket, I click on the blue thought bubble, only to be met with disappointment. Brushing it away, my fingers fly across the keys and my words are sent with a soft hum. Soon, Myles hangs up the phone with a perturbed sigh and resumes the conversation we were having. Again, I try to return to the bubble we share and the words that occupy it, but my mind is consumed with the anticipation of that coveted ding. And with Becky’s face, much like it’s been captivating my thoughts as of recent. Rather unsurprisingly. 

There it remains for days, much like it has been. It follows me through the air as I stare out the window, floating above the clouds. It crops into my conversations, leeching any enjoyment gathered from them. I even see it in a crowd of people inside the walls of the courtroom before I deliver my closing statement. When I look a second time, I’m disappointed to find the eyes of a stranger. 

It crowds my mind when I wait for the boarding call, tapping my fingers along the screen and watching the words be sent off. I only find a respite from longing for her face when I turn my phone off, trying to stop wondering why she won’t return my texts. That thought only sticks to all of my others during the coming week with more ignored texts, craving her voice, and sufficing for browsing her Instagram. Her face. That smile. The smell that sat in the corner of her neck. All of it. I miss all of it. It gnawed away at me slowly, and terribly, burying doubts beneath my defenses. They sprang up when I least expected them, and when I thought about sending just one more text. A few words wouldn’t hurt anything, I thought, but at the same time, I distrust the ultimate impact they could have. 

The pounding jars me from my reverie, bringing me to my feet slowly. Padding past the television and kitchen area, a yawn jumps from my lips. Another pound lands on the door, dragging my brow into a knot. 

“Oh, shuddup!” I exclaim in disbelief, wrapping my fingers around the smooth metal of the door. Yanking it open, I find the grinning bearded face of my mate standing on my stoop. “‘m not goin’, Rore, I already told ya this.”

“C’mon, Harry, I’ll look like a right idiot being there all alone,” Rory responds, his steps telling me he’s following me inside once I turn around. “Help a mate out here.” 

“Ya, ‘coz ya were so helpful tha otha day when I asked ya t’ consult with me fer the Starkey case.” Scoffing, his words pause between his lips as I fill a glass of water from the attachment on the fridge. “Why’re ya goin’ anyways, since it sounds like sumthin’ yer dreadin’? And since when d’ya even go t’ these sorta things? Last place I thought ‘d see you at, Rore.”

“I don’t, but it’s for me sister’s showing. I can’t miss it, she’s me baby sister. I’d hear about it from me mum for weeks.”

Snorting, I have to pull the glass of water away from my lips. 

“Hope ya bloody choke on that water, mate,” Rory scoffs, only making me laugh harder. Water flies from my lips as I’ve forgotten the glass on the marbled countertop. “Are ya coming or not, Harry? Ya know it’s a good place to pick up chicks, too. They blooming love these art gallery places.”

Recovering from my fit of giggles, I turn my head to find Rory waiting with the question in his eyes. He huffs and riffles a hand through his tousled blonde hair a few shades lighter than that which covers his face. Shaking his head, he wiggles his head at me. 

“I’ll consult with you on the next case, or even give ya first pick,” he whines, folding his hands together under his chin, as if he’s praying. 

“‘m yer bloody boss, I always get first picks,” I murmur, a smile cracking at the end of my words. 

“Oh, fuck off, would you?” he spits, pushing at a chair in front of the seated bar attached to the kitchen island. Clucking his tongue, he messes with the collar of his navy blue blazer thrown over a bloody Zeppelin shirt. Yeah, you sure look artsy there, Rore. But with the next words that fly from his sailor’s mouth, he pins me down. “What’re ya gonna do here anyways, sit and watch the bleeding telly all in your lonesome when ya could be with me getting damn a date?”

Biting my lip, my house slippers come into my view and when Rory’s eyes find them, a laugh explodes from his lips. “Go hurry up and bloody change before you’re too far gone, mate. I’ll be in the car,” he titters before his voice falls with a delighted sigh. Delight found in my pain. 

“Two cases, Rore. Any two cases I want, ya consult with me on. Ya got it?” I argue, following on his footsteps. 

“Whatever makes ya feel better, mate. I know you'll be thanking me later tonight.” 

“Doubt it,” I mutter, watching him open the door, sure there’s a sly grin covering his face. 

I turn to jog up the stairs until I arrive in my bedroom. Quickly, I toss on skinny jeans, a Keith Haring shirt, and a mustard button up smattered with faded white flowers. I look rather artsy, I reckon, I decide as I look at myself in my bathroom mirror. It’s an easy feat when you’re standing next to wannabe Rory over there, though. After taming my hair and finding a pair of shoes, I pad down the stairs. 

“Alexa, turn off all o’ my lights,” I announce, slipping my wallet and phone into my pocket as my hous darkens around me. 

“Take fucking long enough?” Rory groans when I slide into the passenger seat of his silver Sentra. 

“Shuddup and drive, will you? So we can get this ova with.”

“If you’re gonna be an ass tonight, then just go back inside,” he almost laughs, beginning to back away from the towering walls of my house. 

“Talking ‘bout yerself, are ya now?” I quip, bringing my phone from my tight pockets, tapping in my passcode. 

“I’ve noticed, y’know,” he mumbles, barely loud enough for me to hear him. Looking up from the bright screen, his eyes don’t stray from the road. “There’s a girl, isn’t there? Or there was?” he continues, a man I’ve come to love over the last three years he’s worked with me. And somehow I thought I had fooled him, but it turns out, I haven’t. I can’t even fool myself.

“Sumthin’ like that,” I whisper, my attention straying back to the conversation lit on my screen. Another day of the ball being in her court, and she just leaves it in the bloody corner, neglecting it. “I see why ya wanted me t’ come now . . . jus’ don’ try t’ set me up with yer bloody sista. She’s like twenty.”

His hearty chuckle fills the space around us, the words of a song from Death Cab for Cutie lurking in the background. “I won’t, but y’know she’s not gonna let ya out of her sight, mate. She’s had the hots for you from day one.”

“Oh God, Rore, what’d I let ya drag me into here?” I joke, my lips curling into a nervous smile. But the smile feels good, and it feels even better when her name disappears from my screen, and I forget my phone in my pocket. 

+

“What happened to making me dinner?” I whine from the couch, crossing my left leg over the other under the comfort of my blanket. 

“That was when you were busy, and well, the other day when I was feeling generous. Not today, missy,” Skye scoffs, the sound of the fridge shutting marking her words. Something lands in my lap with a plop, startling me. 

“Wow, how gourmet. Why thank you, I definitely don’t need to make dinner now,” I joke, picking up the wrapped piece of string cheese. 

“I know you’re still going to eat it. Just eat cereal or something, you hobo. I’m going to bed at a decent time, unlike somebody.”

“Hey, it’s a Friday!” I argue, pressing the page down button on the remote, waiting for something to catch my eye on Netflix. 

“Yeah, and some of us still have a job on Saturdays!” she calls from her journey down the hall. 

“Party pooper!” 

She remains silent on the defensive line, and so does the list of boring content on the television screen. Relenting, I click over to My Stuff and press play on the next episode of FRIENDS. Relaxing into the cushions, I unwrap the cheese and slowly eat it in strings. Giggles flow from my lips watching the scene unravel in front of me, and some eye-rolls because of Ross or Monica. After a while, my legs stray to the fridge, and I return to the tan sectional with a bowl of Cheerios. The milk threatens to spill over the side when I sit up suddenly, almost yelping in laughter at the scene when Monica and Rachel lose their apartment to Chandler and Joey. The sugary Cheerios soon disappear, and the milk follows them as the episode nears the end. 

Placing my bowl and spoon in the dishwasher, I hurry back to the sofa to catch a Phoebe scene. My cheeks warm with a smile, but they soon grow cold when my thoughts have to interrupt with a memory of his face. That god awfully sweet smile adorned with his cherry lips and precious dimples. Without knowing what I’m doing, the cartoon looking app appears under my nose, and pictures fill my feed. I take a second look at a few of them that catch my attention, the angry voices of Rachel and Monica tickling at my ears. 

Soon, the search bar materializes and although it feels wrong, I type in letter after letter to create his name. I can’t remember the last time I glanced at his profile, just to catch a hint of him. Finding the profile I’ve become familiar with, I tap on his picture and wait for his profile to load. Glancing away, the tv captures my attention once more as I scratch at an itch on my leg. Yawning, I rub at my eye before it falls back to the blindingly bright screen. Blinking hard to clear the haze from my vision, I scroll down to see what new pictures he’s posted, although they’re usually few and far between. 

I find the most recent picture I recognize and tap through them. Picturesque shots from high in the clouds. His unbelievably adorable niece. Food-grams. A picture of a homemade pizza is making my mouth water and is still stuck in my mind when I happen upon the next photo, and the most recent one. The moisture in my mouth is wicked away, suddenly bone dry when the image in front of my eyes slowly registers with me. But I can’t believe it, even though I’m seeing it. I don’t want to see it, or believe it. The moisture reappears in the corners of my eyes quickly as a sourness quickly knits together in my gut. The image shakes in my hands and then blurs in my eyes, accented by the thrashing of my heart inside of my chest. 

“Skye!” I shout, the words leaping from my lips with little success. 

My lip wobbles and I feel my entire face collapse from pain, disbelief, the whole shebang. The sob screaming from my lips is muffled by my fingers coming to my mouth. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” I mutter, inhaling fast and feeling the tears in my throat. Because I can feel it everywhere in my body - the pain. In my eyes, my stomach, my hands, and my chest. The sight of Harry’s lips touching that of another girl’s sends knives into my heart, and my stomach roiling. “T-this can’t . . . ,” but my words escape me, because the multitudes of feelings punished with anguish and despair course through me. 

“Skye!” I yell again, not realizing that I’ve gotten to my feet. I stumble at first, feeling the weakness reach my legs. Her name leaves my lips wet with tears as I run past the kitchen and down the hall. 

Pushing open her door, darkness meets my eyes, and I swear in that moment it swallowed me. Hitting me, I grab the doorframe and feel my forehead fall against it. Leaning there for support, the sobs roll through me, the very reason still clutched in my hand. 

“Whaaaaat?” she groans tiredly from her bed across the room. 

But I only reply with a sob of her name, hiccups havocking my chest. My hands claw at the wall, darkness coating my eyelids. 

“Ree?” Skye asks groggily, the click of her lamp following her words. “What happened? Are you alright?” she hurries, the pillowy patting of her covers being thrown back meeting my ears. 

Her arms wrapping around me are almost numbing, and do nothing. And feel like nothing. But when I feel my head meet her chest, the slowed-down world I lived in for those few seconds vanishes. 

“Skye, I-. . . ,” I attempt, once again falling up short as tears suffocate my voice, much like they’re making me feel. Shakily, I press my phone into her hand as I try to find safety in her arms. 

I wait and then am rewarded with her intake of breath followed by a sigh. “Holy fuck,” she whispers, and retaliates by pulling me closer against her. “Come here, Ree.”

She walks me over to her bed and helps me under the covers until I’m surrounded by them, and her arms. 

“Who i-is she?” I demand sloppily, searching for something to hold onto and to anchor myself with. I’m compensated with the smooth fabric of her shirt that I cling to the back of, my head falling into her hair. The mundane scent of strawberries wafting from her body tries to relax me, but to no avail. 

“Ree-,” she begins, but I don’t let her start, let alone finish. 

“I want to kn- I need to know,” I respond, sniffling against the warm expanse of her neck. There’s shuffling next to me before she sighs, and I sense the light of my phone. Tapping prods at my hearing as I try to form coherent thoughts. 

I’m met with images of him. Harry. His dark curls, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, and the high-pitched giggle that accompanied my tickling as well as his own. The intruding memories rack my body with shaking sobs, pressing my lips together as new tears gush over them. My belly contracts with each sob, and I don’t even register the cramping in my hands from holding on so tightly. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Skye hums warily from above, pulling my head into her neck, leaving her arm there to shield me from her words. Or the image that I can’t remove from my mind even if I tried. It’s burned there indefinitely now. 

His arms in a blue button-up surrounding her and his lips enveloping hers. A smile creasing his cheeks with happiness, and spreading to those of her dark cheeks. Her curvy body pressed against his, flowing ebony curls tickling her chocolate skin. 

“Tell me.”

“Okay,” Skye caves, the tips of her fingers running marathons along my back, in attempts to calm me down. But I don’t know if the tried and true will work this time, although it has for every other, even when my dad’s life was painted with the C-Word. “She’s a London based artist, does some sculpting and gallery work locally. According to her Instagram account, anyways.”

“I asked . . who is she?” I repeat, my voice wavering under the dominance of the tears. 

“Her name’s Bailee Taylor.”

“W-what does her page look . . . like?” I request, exhaustion blanketing me, and only adding another feeling to the rest. Blinking away the tears, I try to take in a deep breath, but my memories hit me with the safety I felt in his arms. Unwaveringly. 

“It looks like they’re . . dating,” Skye announces quietly, squeezing me around the middle. The confirmation I didn’t know I’d been searching for hits me like a train, knocking the air out of me again. And all of a sudden, hatred pulses through me, asking me where to lay it. Where to feel it. “There’s a few pictures of them on her feed, looks like they met maybe a few weeks ago.” 

“Why?” jumps from my lips finally, taking a nosedive to join a sea of unanswered questions. The word shakes the second it leapt from my tongue, and somehow it hurts more than all of the rest. “I h-hate him,” I cry, my nose smushing against her skin when I try to hold onto her tighter than I already am. 

“No, you don’t,” she coos, raking her fingers through my hair slowly, and carefully. 

“I know, b-but I wish I could,” I answer, the memories dancing through my head at hyper speed. Falling asleep in his arms, and waking up in them. The tickling fight. The almost kiss. The Scrabble game. Waking up to find him waiting there in the doorway. Him coming back even after the way I treated him. Finding him standing there at the front of the lecture hall. The reprieve of being in his arms again after so long spent away from them. And then, like a wall, my mind runs into the strings of unanswered texts. The canceled lunch dates. The both of us ignoring the other’s texts, but then at the end, it was him. It was him who was awkward during the last phone call. He hung up on me abruptly, and I heard somebody else was there. Was it her? It’s possible they would have already been together by then. He said he’d text me to set up lunch, and he never did. 

“It won’t make you feel better,” she murmurs, cupping my head with her palm. The sound of tears edging at her words only makes mine come harder, and the feeling in my gut grows louder. 

“Then what will?” I beg, wondering if I’ll ever forget the taste of the salty tears. A taste I thought I could forget just late last month when my dad was cured. News that I told him, and had been impatiently waiting to do all day. “I thought I was just feeling okay again, Skye.”

“I know, Ree, I’m so sorry,” she returns, placing her cheek against mine, the first tear peeking through in her voice. “I’m sorry.”

I unpeel myself from her anxiously, kicking away the blankets before my feet land on the floor. 

“Where are you going?” she almost demands, the sound of her following me far away. 

“I’m gonna be sick,” I confess, rushing down the hall before falling to my knees in front of the toilet. The Cheerios and milk from earlier make a reappearance, along with the string cheese, and mushy contents of my other meals. 

Running a cold cloth along my face, Skye kneels in front of me, her face painted in sadness.

“How can it hurt so much, Skye, when he wasn’t even mine?” I croak, focusing on the lone tile in our bathroom that doesn’t match the rest of the flooring. 

“I think you’re wrong, he was yours, Ree.”

“I was so close. I fucked up, again,” I weep, my lips collapsing with yet another sob. 

“Don’t say that, don’t,” she insists, tucking her hair behind her studded ear when it goes every which way with the shaking of her head. “You can’t blame yourself for this.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It feels like it is. She’s so pretty . . Of course she is,” I remember aloud, breathing in quickly before the tears take hold of me once more. Closing my eyes, I reach out for her and let my head rest against her shoulder. 

“She really isn’t, Ree. A big pair of tits doesn’t make you pretty, and anyways, you’re far prettier. He could do much better, like you.”

“You’re just saying that,” I confess, trying to swallow, but my throat has tied itself into knots with the thoughts of him. And when that word falls out of bed inside of my head, I find that it can hurt worse. “I was his Becks, Skye, I thought it was right there. That it was gonna happen for us.”

“Oh, Ree,” she cries, sniffling against my hair when she pulls me against her. “I know, I’m so sorry . . so sorry.”

Nodding into her chest, it feels right as her necklace digs into my wet cheek. My jaw aches from clenching my teeth, and so does every other part of my body in some way. Somehow I let her bring me back to her bed, and hide me away in her arms. My head swims with questions, then fleeting hatred for him, and inconsolable longing the very next. I shed a tear for his smell, his contagious smile, that Scrabble game we’ll never finish, the churros I’ll never be able to eat again without him ruining them for me, the color of his eyes I could never forget, and the lost feeling of his lips I never got to kiss. The list miles long of things I never got to say to him, or do with him, or make him feel. Because now she does, and she isn’t me. 

“I-I thought . . that he felt the same way about me, and that somehow he knew that I loved him.” 

A whimper escapes Skye’s lips as my tears fall into her neck, adding to the puddle I’ve shed there. 

“What does she have that I don’t? Am I not interesting? Does she have a nicer body than I do? Am I not pretty enough? Was I not nice enough or appreciative of him?” I weep, the questions flowing off my lips from the recesses of my mind. My name greets my ears firmly, but I ignore it. “I was trying to answer his texts when I could, but things got so busy with uni and my dad. All the driving, the tests in both places, and I couldn’t keep dates right in my head. Maybe if I’d texted him back sooner that one time, or made the lunch date on the right day the first time-.”

“Becky, don’t do the ‘ifs’ thing,” Skye urges, pulling the covers further up our shoulders before returning to combing my hair back again and again. 

“But I can’t stop thinking about what went wrong, a-and how much I miss him, Skye. I miss him a hundred times more after seeing that picture,” I reveal, falling into her, my lips meeting her shoulder. My teeth dig into my skin and I let them, numb to the pain as the same word is too busy with my mind. “I don’t know if I ever wanna see him again.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to, I’ll always want to. Like something inside of me will always want him.” 

+

The sunlight streaming in through the windows is the first thing I see when I awake. Ducking my head back under the covers, I pull them over me with a groan. The blissful ignorance of the first few minutes after waking up follows me, until it all comes crashing back. 

“Are you awake?” a voice murmurs, sleep clinging to it. 

“Unfortunately,” I whisper, staring into the muted light underneath the gray covers. 

“I can stay home if you want me to, I was just making some breakfast,” Skye responds, the tapping of her feet along the floor following. 

“No, don’t cancel your hair appointments because of me. I’ll be . . I’ll be fine,” I tell her, but then the tears greet me good morning. 

“Oh, Ree, I’ll cancel and we can watch movies all day, or FRIENDS. Whatever you want,” she announces. The bed falls to one side when she sits on the edge, and I feel her hand find my back. 

“Thanks, I was hoping you’d say that,” I return, turning around and sitting up to dive into her arms. “I was hoping I had dreamt it all and it was just a bad dream. But my life is the bad dream.”

“Oh, Ree,” she coos, surrounding me with her arms. “I know this is cliche and it doesn’t feel like it, but it’ll get better.”

“I don’t know about that. My life is a running joke lately because it feels like it’ll get better, and then it just gets worse.”

+

“Your birthday is coming up, isn’t it, Becky?” somebody asks. Looking up from my cupcake, I find the face of Sophie. 

“Yeah, end of next week,” I answer, picking an orange sprinkle from the white frosting to eat.

“Do you have any big plans?” my boss asks as she places her lunch in the microwave. 

“My brother and I hang out every year, we’re twins.”

“Oh, how fun! I remember meeting him once when he brought you lunch one day,” she smiles, turning to face me as she waits in front of the humming microwave. 

I just nod and dip my finger into the frosting, feeling it melt on my tongue a second later. 

“Everything alright, love?”

“Yep, just tired is all,” I fib, taking a bite of the carrot cupcake, although I’m not wrong when I think about it. Skye has been a lifesaver for the last two weeks helping me get back on my feet. Thinking back on it and all of the tears leaves a funny taste in my mouth, but I try to brush it away with a forced smile. 

“How old will you be this year, Becky?” Sophie asks, pulling out a rolling chair to sit to my right at the long table. 

“Good old 26.”

“Wow, still a spring chicken, I’d say,” she comments, bringing a quirky smile to my lips. I almost follow her laugh with mine. “Well you know what, an early birthday present from me is you can have the rest of the day off. You always do a great job, Becky, and so you deserve it.”

“Sophie, I-,” I begin, my jaw falling to the floor. 

“I mean it, go. Get out of here. Go do something that makes you happy, love, it looks like you need to,” she smiles, squeezing my arm from across the table. Standing to my feet, profuse ‘thank yous’ leave my lips before I leave the break room. 

I drive around with my windows down, unsure of where to go instead of home. Before I know it, I find myself walking into my favorite little coffee shop. I’ve always loved to hang out here with a cup, reading a book, doing homework, or just relaxing on one of their sofas. 

Soon, I sit down with a Cubano sandwich and an iced cinnamon roll coffee, my very favorite. Pulling a book out of my work bag, I crack it open to the first page, unable to remember when I last had the time to read a book for fun. The words of Ruth Ware stare back at me, slowly drawing me into a made-up world, and away from the desolate one trying to swallow me. 

Quickly, I’m grateful for the respite from the thoughts mucking up my mind. Instead I lose myself in the sentences that spin a scary story, thanking my old self for stashing something besides a romance in my bag. That’s the last thing I could even think about indulging in right now. For some reason, the mystery entices me, a genre I’ve always had a love for. I think, especially now, it’s the aspect of being able to solve a mystery, and to fix a problem. If only I could do that now, I wish silently with a spiteful snort. 

Placing my empty plate on the return area by the cash register, I return to my cozy spot on the couch and to my book. Losing my fingers in my hair, I prop my head up and open the book to where I had left off. Soft indie music trickles from the speakers as conversations float around me. Several more sofas are dotted around the large room and booths, as well as tables varying in sizes. Friends play board games borrowed from the shelf by the fireplace, and others do schoolwork or actual work. A laugh from behind the counter echos through the room, right as the bell on the front door jingles. Although across the room, I can hear the voices floating in from the sidewalk. Cars honking and birds chirping. The sounds make me itch to leave the air-conditioned room, and bring my reading outside into the June sunshine. 

The words covering the pages root me to the spot, but they can’t protect me from what I hear. It’s a voice that I know inside and out, from the shortened words to the often used words. My vocal cords soon begin to tangle into knots in my throat at the mere noise. Beneath my baby blue blouse, there’s a clobbering in my chest as the voice grows near and then stops. Instinctively, hair falls through my fingers as I lower my head, wishing to remain unseen. Unknown. 

I can’t stop myself, and there I am looking up to see that crinkly-eyed smile through wrenching tears. 

Harry. 

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[rocketzealot]

MEET THE MUSE!

Rules: Answer in-character. Repost, don’t reblog.

Tagged by: @mercenaryrocket​ told me to steal it, I’m just following orders Tagging: I dunno, you should probably steal it too, don’t wanna get in trouble ;)

► NAME ➭ “Fred” ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭   “An’ ready to mingle~” ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ “Uh... kinda?” ► ARE YOU ANGRY?  ➭ “Naw...” ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ “Uh, they never were?”

NINE FACTS!

► BIRTH PLACE ➭ “Johto” ► HAIR COLOR ➭ “My hair magazines say its baby blonde~” ► EYE COLOR ➭ “Brown. Sorry, boring.” ► BIRTHDAY ➭ “Soon. 8th July- I expect presents~” ► MOOD ➭ “Uh... sleepy?” ► GENDER ➭ “I think I’m a guy.” ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ “Summer!” ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ “Uuuugh, I am not a morning person. Afternoon!”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ “Not right now.” ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ “I wish... but it doesn’t sound like a very good idea, y’know.” ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ “Me. With my fists.” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ “Prolly~” ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ “Psssh... psh... yeah.” ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ “No. But that could change~” ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ “As if!” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ “I don’t think so. How would that work?”

SIX CHOICES!

► LOVE OR LUST ➭ “Hmmm... why not both?” ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ “Lemonade!” ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ “Again, why not both. But I guess, loadsa friends!” ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ “Uh... Night out!” ► DAY OR NIGHT  ➭ “Day.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS!

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ “Nope.” ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ “Prolly.” ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ “Mmmmaybe...”

FIVE PREFERENCES!

► SMILE OR EYES ➭ “Smile!” ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ “Taller.” ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ “Mmmm. Sometimes, the intelligence is the attraction.” ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ “I like hook ups, but I want a relationship eventually!”

FAMILY!

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ “I-- Yeesh... I get along best with my Mom, and I haven’t spoken to her in years. Does that help?” ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ “Compared to some people I know, nope, but then again, I’m a criminal with a warped sense of messed up.” ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ “Not really.” ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ “Yes.”

FRIENDS!

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ “No? They wouldn’t be my friend if I hated them.” ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ “Naw, I got a lotta acquaintances. Perks of the job~” ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ “... Don’t have one right now.” ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ “... Ted.”

[sanban-apoy]

Byf...finally

- Heya, name’s Noodle, Kristine, whatever. 

- I’m a bisexual female and Asian American. 

- My text posts are tagged  “hun.txt”

- I’m agnostic and tbh I think I would rather keep it that way. Some atheists are assholes but so are some theists. It’s also not hard to respect someone’s religious beliefs. 

-  I enjoy drawing, watching anime and delving into 2D animation. 

- I plan on either being a nurse, comic artist, or novelist. Still not sure...

- I also really enjoy video games (mostly story-based games such as Telltale’s Walking Dead, Life is Strange, Sally Face, etc) But I also enjoy some RPG such as Pokemon. 

- Leo 

- Highly against radfem rhetoric and this is coming from someone who barely speaks with their dad. 

- I know DNI never work and are useless but I’d highly appreciate it if MAPS, DDLG, Kink, Terfs, Rad-leaning, Pro ana, Pro obesity, and Doxxers of any kind refrain from interacting too much. I’m not interested in being close friends with anyone who condones this shit. 

- For ya’ll DDLG and Kink people, you’re prolly not inherently harmful but I’m just not comfortable with that stuff. 

- Feminism is needed a lot more in other countries than in the west. 

- I’m pro ship because fictional characters are fucking objects and nothing more. However, that doesn’t mean I have incest or pedophilic ships. I don’t like those but then again, no one on this hellsite knows what incest or pedophilia means anymore. 

-Pronouns are gendered, deal with it. 

-Transmed rhetoric honestly makes more sense than tucute rhetoric. That being said, if you’re a tucute or transmed who is actually nice and civil to people about their opinions on the matter, go ahead and interact. 

- imo, “blackwashing” should have the same standards as whitewashing. They’re either both okay or not. Racebending, in general, is either okay or not. 

- My favorite music rn is lo-fi, musical scores, and animation soundtracks. My favorite artists rn are Billie Eilish, Cupcakke, Blackbear, PAtD, and Bruno Mars. 

- My favorite books/manga include Percy Jackson, MGE, Sailor Moon, Ramona Quimby, and We Are Okay. 

- Favorite movies include Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Emperor’s New Groove, Freedom Writers, Sleepaway Camp, Wonder, Princess and the Frog, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, Road to El Dorado, The Prince of Egypt, Princess Mononoke, and Everything, Everything.

- I’m very interested in underrated Issekais atm so please suggest me some if you got any! 

- Lastly, if you actively shame anyone for something they can’t control, I’d appreciate it if you would leave. 

[ethilite]

character question tag

tagged by @adiwritings​!! thank you owo

Rules: Answer the following questions for one of your characters and then tag ten people!

its apparently Luke day so fuckin’ yeet, here we go.

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

I wanted a hot white-haired anime boy. That’s all. Really. He just turned into a huge dumpster fire after figuring out his appearance.

The concept of Luke was around for a while - at first he was a redhead, and so was Greg, to be honest. But I wanted to stray away from my uhhh Luke fon Fabre and Ganondorf inspirations lmfao.

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Not really, actually. What I wanted from his appearance actually generated more facts and backstory about him, so it worked out fine that way lol. I mean, I was hoping he could turn into a romantic interest for Addie, but I was fine with letting him develop however, too.

3) How did you choose their name?

Luke is a good name. I get most of my character names from other forms of media, lol oops. Sorry Luke and Anise ahahaha;;;;;

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Uh, the fact that he’s a prince, I guess? There’s some plot-related stuff concerning his backstory I don’t want to spoil, but otherwise I really do want to take the time in ttot to go into what the world looks like, so that’s why his earliest memory is a bunch of scenery imagery.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair color?

yes but that’s plot and backstory related ahahahahahaha

6) Is there any significance behind their eye color?

also plot significant. His eye colour is purple, for anyone who’s interested. wink wonk

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

not really. I imagine him to be about 5′7″ on a good day, which I guess is considered short-ish for dudes? I guess most of my characters are a lil on the short side. But I’m short. So suffer. muahahahahahaha

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

I relate to his clumsiness for sure. owo

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

He may have some borrowed traits from me, but most of that is surface level I guess haha.

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

Nope! I was thinking he was gonna be straight, since well, no one was really straight. But then I looked at him, and was answering character asks, and it turns out he’s bi as fuck. So there’s that, I guess.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

The fact that a lot of my characters would do really well in a JRPG or anime leaves little wiggle room when it comes to creating moodboards and the like. I also can’t draw people to save my life, so nailing down exactly how they look isn’t ever gonna happen lmfao. someone teach me how to draw people pls

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

not at all! :’D I still have a lot to plan out for ttot, concerning actually plot timelines and events. I do know that I want him to go down a Zuko-esque route, and go from anti-hero to joining the party and being a cutie pie readers thirst over ahaha.

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

1. he’s a lost soul and needs to find himself, so he’s gonna fuck up a lot

2. he also just wants some genuine companionship and affection, so he should try to better himself so he can obtain those things

14) What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

he’s gonna have a lot of comedic relief scenes if I have anything to say about it. He tries to take himself so seriously, but its also super half-assed because of what he’s going through, so he tends to overreact and get thrown over cliff sides a lot. 

15) What is something about your OC that can make you cry?

If I can spin his backstory properly, and play a lot on the whole being a disappointment to your parents and never being able to do anything right spiel, I’ll prolly cry a bit cause that’s relatable as fuck.

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Mmm nothing yet. I quite enjoy making fun of my OCs and they dumb shit I can get them into, so nothing has really stood out negatively yet.

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

Some minor origin story and influences to how he is, hehehe. >:3c

18) What is your favorite fact about your OC?

The fact that he’s like, this huge heartthrob, and could technically be a playboy if he wanted to, but his heart is too soft and he’s a huge klutz so he can’t really pull it off haha.

I’ll tag @yuutfa and @teacup-universes if you guys would like to do it;;; as well as anyone else who wants to steal it from me! Tag me in yours!!

[transformers-why]

I was tagged once more by the beautiful and gracious @thatswhyhesprime!

Thanks for the tag, love! Tags from you are always fun! (Also if I'm one of the people you tagged that you thought were out of your league just wanted to let you knoW YOURE SO NOT OUTTA MY LEAGUE LMAO. We joined at basically the same time and have been mutuals for awhile, you're like, my awkward go-to mutual to tag in stuff like this lol. We're totally buds in my eye!)

Name: Shard or TW (T.W.)

Nickname: Uhhhhh, none, really? If any of you have a nickname for me feel free to ask if I'm chill with you calling me that! (I prolly am.)

Zodiac Sign: Taurus!

Height: A Lovely and Majestic 5"4' (162cm)

Langauges Spoken: English, and now I'm learning French which is totally great!

Nationality: I'd say American but I feel like I give off a different vibe when I go places in the lower 48, so...

Alaskan.

Favorite Fruit: Mangos! Love 'em so much. Lemons, peaches, and nectarines are good too!

Favorite Season: Winter! ALWAYS winter.

Favorite Scent: Anythin' my family or I am cooking. Or tea scents!! (& Brown sugar, lol).

Favorite color: White, since it can be any color! (And black and midnight blue.)

Favorite Animal: Definitely wolves, although Sharks, foxes, and lynx are growing on me!

Favorite Fictional Characters: Ratchet from Transformers, of course. Um, Drift, Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus, Knock Out, Brainstorm, and Ten! Non Tfs are Kaz Brekker (Six Of Crows), Raphael (TMNT), uhhh Kiawe and Brock (pokèmon), and many many more.

^Fun Fact: I've got a mega mega gay crush on Velocity.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: TEA. EVERYDAY. ALL THE TIME. I DRINK IT FOR BREAKFAST AND LUNCH (sometimes dinner if I didnt finish it during lunch).

Number of blankets I sleep with: 3! Ones my main big blanket I usually use, next is my Sherpa to add that extra layer of Good Fluff, and then I've got a thin fleece one to make me feel nice and cozy! (In the summer tho I die and just use one or none.)

When My Blog Was Born: uuuuhHHHHH I think it's the same as you, @thatswhyhesprime, I think we joined at relatively the same time lmao.

Small Edit: I just checked and it says Jan 21st, so basically February.

Favorite Subject: French Class and Creative Writing! They're such fun classes this year! (And anything Algebra)

(And, aND CHEMISTRY STUFF CAUSE MY TEACH IS LITERALLY JUST RESPONSIBLE BRAINSTORM AND I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND CHEM STUFF FOR ONCE!!)

Currently Watching: Well, as of right now I've been keeping tabs on Transformers Cyberverse, Rise Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I've been watching The Drawfee Channel on YouTube a lot!

Favorite Band: shitshitshitshit uUUH, I dunno I listen to alot of people. This morning I listened to Bad Suns? They're good. Uhm, Day6, The Score, American Authors, Air Traffic Controller, uhhhh and BANNERS. I listen to alot of other stuff but that's the most frequent I suppose. (Along with FOB and Panic! Occasionally.)

I can totally put a link or something to my Spotify if you guys wanna check out my playlists or something, I make different ones for different situations. Like I've got 'Upbeat Airports' and I use it for travelling (and reading).

Instruments Played: Piano? A little? I've got a keyboard but I don't get to use it too often. I should. I'd love to learn violin, too!

Favorite Books: Easy. Six Of Crows and its sequel, Crooked Kingdom both by Leigh Bardugo. And A Darker Shade of Magic by V. E. Schwab. (I'm hoping its sequels are good I gotta read them). And MTMTE and LL of course! OH AND MY FAV. YOUTUBER WROTE A BOOK TOO! I've watched Stacyplays' videos since I was younger and now I just,, always keep up with her? Shes super fun and I love her vlogs and alot of her gaming series'. The book she wrote is Wild Rescuers: Guardians Of The Tiaga. It's the first of many to come!! I really enjoyed it.

And then I'm supposed to tag like 20 ppl to do this??

I dunno enough people for that lol.

So uh, @ask-eclipsemtmte-stuff, @primussavethesemechs, @chaotickindbird, uhhhhh @weird-squish-cube, @scremlin (you are on a hiatus thingy tho, so you totally dont have to do this. Not that anybody else HAS to or anything.), @toto-the-cactus,,

And... I've got such a bad memory for this kinda stuff??? I cant remember blog names well at all lol, sorry folks. Thanks for reading!