#I keep turning critical role characters into hamsters

[cloudsoveravalir]

“I’m tired of running, Mother.”

This is the single most stupid piece of fanart I have made. Please enjoy. 🐹

[ladyherenya]

Books read in April

I probably spent more time reading but I also read a handful of novellas and a couple of children’s novels, which means I read more books than usual.

Many of these were, if not outright retellings, than heading close to that sort of territory: faeries and fairytales, Sherlock Holmes, Jane Austen, and Norse gods...

Favourite cover: Masque, maybe.

Reread: Nothing, too busy reading new things...

Still reading: Cinder by Marissa Meyer.

Next up: There’s a new Murderbot novel out in early May!!!

(Longer reviews and ratings are on LibraryThing and Dreamwidth.)

*

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams (narrated by the author): Adams’ descriptions are clever and unexpected, and he strings together a series of events even more bizarre and unexpected than his descriptions. Sometimes I felt exhausted on behalf of his poor protagonists, bounced from one mishap to another, but I was impressed by Adams’ ability to turn this madness into such a coherent story.

Flamebringer by Elle Katharine White: A solid, tense conclusion to Heartstone and Dragonshadow. However, I suspect it would have made more of an impact had I read the first two books recently. It assumes that the reader remembers more worldbuilding details -- about history and family connections and magical folk -- than I did. And because I found such details confusing, I didn’t pay close attention to some of the history and politics revealed in this book, and those things turned out to be unexpectedly important. A trilogy in much need of a glossary.

Hamster Princess: Harriet the Invincible by Ursula Vernon (aka T. Kingfisher): A very amusing take on ‘Sleeping Beauty’. Upon learning of her curse, Harriet accurately concludes that she must be invincible until it strikes -- and when the time arrives, she’s determined to avoid falling into an enchanted sleep. This is heavily-illustrated. The pictures are great, but were often awkwardly displayed in the Libby e-book. 

The Art of Theft by Sherry Thomas: More of a heist story than a murder mystery, which may explain why I found it less compelling than The Hollow of Fear, although admittedly, it has its suspenseful sequences. Thomas does some interesting things in expanding her portrayal of the era as well as Mrs Watson’s story, taking Charlotte Holmes and her trusted associates to France on a mission along with someone from Mrs Watson’s past. I liked that Livia gets to play a more active role in those adventures. But I expected to like this more.

Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn: Meg is desperate for inspiration and company. She comes up with a project, looking for hand-lettered signs around New York, and invites along a former client -- who has turned up to question Meg about the hidden message in the wedding program she designed for him and his ex. A story about signs, secrets and the importance of having difficult conversations. I liked how those themes are explored in different areas of Meg’s life: making an effort to get to know Reid, setting boundaries with a new client, and trying to stop her best friend from drifting away.

Once Upon a Marigold by Jean Ferris (narrated by Carrington MacDuffie): Christian was brought up in a cave by Edric the troll, who discovered Chris hiding in the forest. Now Chris is in love with the princess Marigold, with whom he has exchanged letters carried by pigeon but has never met.  If I had discovered this in 2002 when it was first published, I suspect I’d have been delighted by its gentle, whimsical, almost-fairytale-ness. These days I tend to want more complexity and more emotion and, often, more critical engagement with the genre’s tropes. But this was still pleasant company while I did a few hours of housework.

The Shards of a Broken Sword novella trilogy by W.R. Gingell: 

Twelve Days of Faery: King Markon’s son appears to be afflicted by a strange curse, because accidents and misadventure befalls any girl the prince flirts with. When an enchantress offers to deal with the curse in exchange for the expected reward of the prince’s hand in marriage, Markon gets swept up in her investigation. This is so much fun. I liked the way it focuses on a middle-aged father, rather than any of the more usual candidates for this sort of story, like his son or any of the young women affected by the curse. And I enjoyed Althea’s confidence and practical competence.

Fire in the Blood: Another story interested in twisting fairytale tropes. A prince sets out to rescue a princess from a tower, but neither of them are the protagonist -- that’s Rafiq, the prince’s enslaved dragon, forced into human-form. Rafiq has been dragged along on this quest and quietly hopes that his vicious master will fail to unravel the tower keep’s protections. I enjoyed this. The tower keep, with its magical puzzles, was an intriguing setting, and it was rather satisfying to see Rafiq and the princess’s serving girl subtly undermine the prince’s efforts without drawing his ire.

The First Chill of Autumn: The first two standalone and take place over a few days. This does not. It begins with Princess Dion’s childhood. At seventeen, Dion is sent on a tour of her country and discovers the truth about the Fae’s influence. She ends up joining forces with characters from the previous books. I liked each of these sections. However, this could easily have been expanded into something novel-length and been stronger for it. If more time had been given to Dion’s relationships -- with her sister, Barric and Padraig, and maybe her parents -- the ending would have made more of an emotional impact.

“A Tale of Carmine and Fancy”: This short story takes place during The First Chill of Autumn. I didn’t care about Carmine one way or another when he turned up in the trilogy, so I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this.

A Posse of Princesses by Sherwood Smith (narrated by Emma Galvin): Sixteen year old Rhis is one of many princesses invited to attend festivities held in honour of a crown prince. My first impression -- a nice-but-unremarkable story with an irritating audiobook narrator -- quickly changed. I got used to the narrator’s voice. I really appreciate Smith’s portrayal of social interactions and of group dynamics from the perspective of someone who is trying to understand why others are competing for attention. And once the plot took off, I was hooked. I have mixed feelings about the very end but that didn’t change how much I liked the rest of the story.

The Two Monarchies sequence by W.R. Gingell:

Clockwork Magician: Several years after Blackfoot, Peter starts at university. Because Peter ends up messing around with time-travel, there are scenes from his future in the previous books. It’s interesting getting those moments from Peter’s perspective and fitting the puzzle pieces of his story together. I also felt invested in Peter’s journey even though he spends a lot of time being arrogant and oblivious, because I knew that there must be a significant change up ahead. The way his dawning realisation is handled was unexpectedly satisfying. I also enjoyed seeing more of Poly and Luck, and getting to know Glenna.

Masque: A murder mystery which turns into a Beauty and the Beast retelling. Lady Isabella Farrah is determined to investigate after a friend is killed at the Ambassador’s Grand Ball, even if doing so annoys the official investigator, the masked Lord Pecus. Isabella is excellent company. She’s quick-witted, resourceful and uncowed. I really enjoyed watching her banter and meddle. The Beauty and the Beast elements are cleverly woven into the story, and even without the murder investigation, there’s enough to make it a unique take on an old tale. A delightful standalone companion to this series.

Frankly in Love by David Yoon: Frank Li has watched his parents react to his older sister’s choices and he knows they will never accept him dating anyone who isn’t Korean. So he and a family friend, Joy Song, pretend to date. Fake-dating is one of my most favourite romance tropes but I’m not a fan when it’s a cover for actually dating someone else -- I don’t like others getting hurt by the deception. Despite that, I found this YA novel engaging and unexpectedly moving. And an absolutely fascinating look at being the child of immigrants.

The Night Country by Melissa Albert: The Hazel Wood was excellent, sharp and compelling, but I didn’t enjoy the sequel much at all. In the first book there’s a much stronger thread of hope running through the darkness.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone: The letters exchanged between Red and Blue, two agents on opposing sides of a time war, are vibrant and memorable, playful and poignant. I particularly enjoyed their different names for each other. (“Dearest Blue-da-ba-dee”, “My Dear Mood Indigo”, “Dearest 0000FF” -- that one made me laugh, “Dear Red Sky at Morning”...) The scenes in between leave many questions unanswered about the war being fought. I couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling that if I actually understood what was going on, I wouldn’t like the characters. Nevertheless the letters are brilliant, and I can deal with uncertainty for the space of a novella.

A Dead Djinn in Cairo by P. Djèlí Clark (narrated by Suehyla El-Attar): This novelette is too brief to involve what I enjoy most about murder mysteries, like carefully prying into people’s motives or characters forming supportive relationships in the face of an atmosphere of suspicion and unease. It is possible I’d like this worldbuilding in a different story, and that I would care more about Special Investigator Fatma el-Sha'arawi if I spent more time with her.

The Jane Austen Project by Kathleen A. Flynn: Rachel and Liam, a doctor and an actor-turned-academic, are sent back to 1815 to befriend Jane Austen and uncover an unpublished novel. Time travel allows for portraying Austen’s world with historical accuracy from the perspective of a woman with contemporary attitudes, and creates interesting challenges and anxieties. There’s a high degree of wish fulfilment in meeting Austen, but also realistic complications and consequences. This book impressed me even though -- or perhaps because -- it wasn’t always comfortable or to my taste. I’d have adored it, had things been slightly different, yet it’s nevertheless gripping and thought-provoking storytelling. I respect that.

[fishylife]

I was tagged by @bloody-mary-23 to name 10 different characters from 10 different things.

Thinking about this actually made me realize that nowadays, I tend to read books and watch movies from a more critical lens, whereas I watch shows with more of a “fan” lens (not sure if that makes sense). Like, I had trouble even naming one favourite character from a book or a movie, maybe because I tend to just sit back and judge them? Whereas for TV shows I learn to identify with them or I aspire to be like them and that’s how they become my favourites? 

Anyway, enough with that. Most of the characters on my list are either from things I enjoyed as a kid, or things I enjoyed very recently. Like, there’s no middle ground. Either they’re old enough to have always been one of my favourites or they’re a recent obsession lol. 

1) Three Kingdoms (Chinese drama) - Xun Yu

He’s my favourite character only based on the 2010 adaptation so I’m not sure if this carries over to other adaptations. Anyway, while I also like a few of the big players of the story (namely Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun), Xun Yu is my ultimate fave. While Cao Cao technically didn’t need his expertise because Cao Cao was plenty smart himself, he served as a sounding board for Cao Cao, so he played a very much behind-the-scenes role. Anyway, I just liked how level-headed he was and how much he stuck to his morals (for which he paid with his life in the end…).

2) DC Comics - Jason Todd

When I first started getting into DC comics, actually Dick Grayson was my favourite character. But over time, I started enjoying Jason’s sense of humour as well as his non-conventional ways. Despite appearing to be the “wild one,” it’s quite interesting to find that Jason actually does have a strict moral code. It’s just one that’s slightly different from that of his family.

3) Day & Night (Chinese drama) - Zhou Xun

I’m still watching this show, but he’s like the stereotypical police boss character in Chinese dramas, complete with moustache, beard, and floppy hair (like Bai Yu in Guardian lol). I like his character for how much he tries. On one hand, he’s advancing his career, doing what he can to close cases, and he knows that Guan Hongfeng is someone he can count on for that. On the other hand, he knows that Guan Hongfeng is someone he needs to keep a close eye on in case anything about his brother comes up. So he does what he can to patch that up too. Also wears leather jackets and is a bit of a hothead/brash one which comes as part of the cocky police detective boss character. I’m down. 

4) Nirvana in Fire (Chinese drama) - Xiao Jingyan

Yo, I had a really hard time deciding between Jingyan, Mei Changsu, Consort Jing, and Grand Princess Liyang. In the end, I decided on Jingyan. First, he adheres to his moral code very very very strictly. That’s his thing ™. Second, he loves his family and close friends to bits. That’s his other thing ™. These two things are what guides him through life. Sometimes it makes him even a little naive, i.e. him wanting Mei Changsu to be reinstated as a member of the extended Royal Family, etc. (but Mei Changsu knows that that’s a former life he can’t live up to anymore). But he always has the best intentions in mind and that’s something I can respect. 

5) Vikings - Ragnar Lothbrok

To be honest, I stopped watching this show after Ragnar died. He was such an interesting character. He was a fierce warrior, but he also wanted to be a wise ruler. Sometimes he had to use offhanded tactics but I kind of liked that he was willing to think outside the box. He was also a little bit ruthless but I think he did so when he knew that he had to make a decision for his realm. I just thought his character was a combination of a lot of different traits and wasn’t just a two-dimensional character.

6) Sailor Moon - Kino Makoto/Sailor Jupiter

I love that Sailor Moon has so many different characters in its main cast because there’s always a role model for each period of my life. When I was young, I liked Sailor Mercury the most because like her, I was a massive nerd with no friends. Nowadays though I like Sailor Jupiter quite a lot. She’s sometimes labeled as being both super masculine (being a tomboy, being physically strong) as well as super feminine (liking baking and gardening). But that doesn’t mean she has to give up one or the other. Instead, these are just the activities she enjoys doing and that doesn’t mean she needs to be labeled for it. It reminds me that you should just go ahead and like the things you like because that shouldn’t say anything about your character.

7) Hamtaro - Penelope

When I was a kid I thought Penelope was the cutest hamster. For the longest time I didn’t know the yellow thing was a blanket she was wearing and I thought that was just what she was (like, until recently). I still remember that one episode where the hamster clubhouse was flooded in a rain and Penelope ran to Laura’s dog to get help and ultimately saved all the hamsters from drowning. Penelope was the MVP that day.

8) Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia - Sonya

It’s kind of surprising to me that my favourite Fire Emblem character is from FEE and not FEA (which was my first FE game). However, I found that with the romance/matchmaking mechanics in FEA and FEF, a lot of the characters turned into gimmicks because it seemed the writers probably ran out of different things to write for their supports with other characters. I found that in FEE, the support conversations were more meaningful because they were limited, and therefore more fleshed out. Anyway, I think Sonya is the coolest because she’s like the cool older sister but also a sympathetic person. Love her

9) Bleach - Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni

I also didn’t expect my favourite Bleach character to be Yamamoto Genryuusai. I probably would have expected my favourite to be Byakuya or Hisagi, you know, my pretty boy husbandos. Or even Soifon or Hiyori, my kickass girls. But there’s something about Captain-Commander that makes him such an epic character. Yes, he is a bit stuck in his old-man ways, but everything he’s done has been to protect Soul Society. The part near the end when he finally goes Bankai is just….chills. Like, when the old man finally uses his old man strength, then you know shit’s going down. 

10) Sweet Pool - Sakiyama Youji

To be honest #1, there’s not a lot of characters to choose from here and to be honest #2, I haven’t actually played the game myself. So I’ve really just known his character through the audio CDs (translated), other people’s playthroughs, etc. But I’ve come to like his character. Just the mellow, solemn way that he is despite all the chaotic bullshit going on around him. 

(I won’t lie, it took me a really long time to come up with a tenth favourite character lol)

Also this questionnaire has made me want to reread Claymore again, since that manga had a TON of badass characters. I only remember a handful, like Clare, Galatea, Ophelia, etc. 

Tagging anyone who wants to do this!! I just never know who likes doing this stuff and who doesn’t so if you see this please do it and tag me! Don’t be shy :) :) Even if it’s like months and months later, I don’t mind.

[eminentfocus]

Imma Need You To Drop The Title

We have been convinced that the opposite of success is failure.  It’s when we miss the mark.  When we do not fill the “fantasy” that we have created of how things “should be”.  We look at our results and the consequences that we have faced based on our past decisions and create a snapshot of our value based upon it.  Some people at least find that they have created value in what they do.  They are a decent employee, partner, parent, therefore they are successful.  Truth be told, this is a mindset for empty success.  We’ve already learned here that results do not bring happiness, they only inspire us to crave more.  Jezus!  It’s a hamster wheel of epic proportions!  How do we get off this stupid thing?  Welcome back to the rabbit hole!

Fulfillment.  Turning to oxford, we will define this one thing that everyone devotes their time and energy toward.  “1. the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted 1b. satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character 2. the meeting of a requirement or condition 2b. the performance of a task, duty, or role as required, pledged, or expected”.  Notice some catch words here?  Achievement, performance, expectation… Definition one refers to the idea of meeting social norms/metrics and becoming our “best self” as a finish line.  Remember: the only finish line is death, hard truth.  The second part of this definition is completely delusional.  It is delusional because it is simply the expectation that we have created of what we think we are “required” to do based on our stressors and responsibilities.  We inadvertently link our value/fulfillment to our identity.  What we do becomes who we are!  Yuck!

Evolution teaches that if we develop ourselves into our fullest (or at least better) potential, we will reap social rewards such as respect and affection.  We all like these rewards and it happens in nature too- the strongest lion always gets the best mates!  The problem with this whole line of thinking starts with the very biological lines that make us human.  If we perceive that our status is low, we lower our self-esteem.  This creates a snowball effect because our self-esteem is our biggest driver toward motivation.  Motivation leads us to our purpose through growth.  Without a purpose, we are empty.  If we feel empty, entropy ensues.

“For me, what I’ve learned is that it’s not what you’re ‘called’ or ‘what you do’ that matters, whether it’s one thing or many throughout your life.  It’s what you bring.”

The psychological portfolio.  If we think about all of our trauma and coping mechanisms over the span of our lives, we would call that our portfolio.  The more positive trauma and healthy coping skills we have experienced, the better the outlook of our future return of investment.  Most of us suffer from a death awareness mindset that is based on beating deadlines, because that is exactly what we’ve been trained to do.  Overcoming metrics to prove ourselves to be valuable before we die.  This is so extremely toxic because it is the polar opposite of a self-care mindset, which is what we need to get away from death-awareness.  Bulking up our portfolio base is only supported through a self-care mindset.

Expectations.  They make us oh so comfortable and cause such extreme anguish all at the same time.  We expect that when we get on the city bus, we are safe, because our driver is well trained and seasoned.  We expect that our job will pay us on the pre-established pay dates.  We expect things from ourselves and others without ever really realizing it.  We form these expectations out of perceived consequences and results based on our personal experiences.  Plus, we add in our emotions to create the snapshot I mentioned earlier.  Our expectations are just guessing about how we think things “should be” based on our own experiences.  They are a delusion of having control over our environment.  Nothing more.      

The only way to get off the wheel is through the wilderness.  You have to be willing to be uncomfortable.  You have to be willing to live here, in the present, to make intentional choices.  You have to be willing to serve whatever your internal compass nudges you to do.  You have to be willing to silence expectations and stop giving them power over your right to choose.  You have to be willing to seek out feedback and growth, even if that means criticism.  People only come to feel self-actualized through finding, keeping and repairing their relationship with their true self.  You have to be willing to serve yourself first so that you can bring your whole self to whatever it is you are doing.  This is the only way to understand who you actually are and what you should be doing.  No quotations around “should” this time.  Are you willing to pivot?  That’s what’s coming up next time.  See you then!

[catwhite7-blog]

A match which blends thirdperson actions with MOBA and also hero-shooter mechanics to build an appealing but flawed activity esport.

After you get eight situationally mindful players, even nevertheless, there's a lot to adore. The characters-- both their design and balance--are the optimal/optimally aspect of become alpha sex game. From the conventionally cool graffiti-artist street samurai Daemon to Maeve, the cyberpunk witch, to Cass, an E Mo assassin with robotic bird bottoms, each of those 11 characters in the initial roster has an exceptional and interesting appearance.

become alpha porn is really a self-evident aggressive multi player"brawler," but exactly what does this actually mean? Depending upon your own purpose of reference, you might call it a"boots onto your ground-style MOBA" or some"third-person hero shot ." It truly is an activity game where two teams of four fight within the narrative framework of competing at another of 2 team sport --a King of those Hill-style"Objective get a grip on" situation and"energy Collection," a more resource-hoarding style where people want to violate vitality canisters and reunite their own contents into specified factors at specific occasions. Though the two versions possess their own quirks, both boil down to lively point control. Whether you are delivering protecting or energy your"hills, then" you want to shield a position. If you're attempting to dam the enemy from scoring in mode, you ought to have a situation. There is a little room for customization: in between games, you could equip a set of mods--which you can generate by playing with with specific personalities or acquire in-game forex --to Enhance your stats and techniques in various manners. In the event you believe one strike or special ability much more significant than the others, you can min-max those boons to adapt your playstyle. Each character begins having a set of default option mods, therefore there is an inherent sense of dealing emphases, in place of construction power as time passes. Movements in aggressive multiplayer matches is frequently a fool's gambit--most matches damage their stability with overpowerful gear--but become alpha porn games's mods thread the needle. They truly are successful to punctuate certain skills, without creating them unstoppable. What's more they also have a set of abilities that causes them specially well-suited to their precise sort of playwith. In modern day competitive manner, each and every character have a special collection of rechargeable and stats special moves that make sure they are useful in a particular context, which only presents itself when coordinating with your teammates. The characters have been divided into three classes--harm, Support, Tank--but each personality's approach into this job is exceptional. As an instance, Buttercup--a human-motorcycle hybridvehicle -- is a Tank designed for crowd controller: She forces enemies to engage with her from yanking enemies for her having a grappling hook and also use an"oil slick" capacity to slow them down. In comparison, fellow Tank El Bastardo is marginally less durable but deals more damage thanks to a exact powerful standard attack and also a crowd-clearing spin strike which may push enemies apart from him. It will take just a little exercise to fully understand these distinctions well-enough to take advantage of these but it is easy to learn how every fighter functions. In some ways, building on the base created with additional E-Sports works to become alpha sex game's advantage. Inspite of the fact that it has a brand new game using lots of of guidelines and idiosyncrasies to find out it can quickly feel comfortable and at ease to enthusiasts of competitive games because so many of its gameplay elements, from match types into character talents, are modeled off ideas from other video games. No character normally takes very long to learn, which means you are definitely going to locate your groove and begin having pleasure quickly. And, eventually, become alpha porn games's third-person perspective and a roster with tons of melee and ranged fighters distinguishes itself from the remaining portion of the package. As soon as you begin playing, it's simple to check past the things you comprehend and appreciate the advantages with the new configuration. Still, for all that become alpha sex games gets appropriate, it actually seems like the game's"early days." It's overlooking fundamental principles of competitive games, such as ranked play, that enables you to invest the experience and keeps individuals taking part in, long lasting. I want to believe Microsoft and Ninja principle will keep tweaking and enlarging the match so that it can compete together with additional competitive multiplayer matches, but it feels as a temporary multiplayer fix for gamers looking to divide the monotony, as opposed to the next E-Sports obsession. While each and every personality is well-balanced separately, the roster as an entire feels unbalanced on occasion. Considering the fact that you just have 4 players on every team, it's simple to receive forced to a specific role and sometimes perhaps a specific character. With 11 characters (and one more announced fighter in the way)there are a limited number of alternatives at every placement. On top of this, the certain personalities satisfy out the job a lot better compared to many others. Zerocool, the user, may be the only pure healer, for example. Unless teammates use the other support personalities in tandem, it truly is tricky to justify not selecting him when playing this role. The absence of choice can be bothersome: Actually in match making it could make you feel obligated to engage in since a personality which you really don't like and could result in you actively playing from personality, which isn't very fun. The caveat, though, is that everyone else needs to"play their class" as soon. With only four people to some workforce, having one man who isn't focusing to the purpose or with their skills that will help the staff could drain the fun out of this match very quickly. This ends match making in to a tiny crap shoot. You will never know if you will get teammates that understand the score, or certainly will drop what to start fights, or play the objective too much and ignore the team. Even though a warning after you turn the match for the first time that communication is critical, only a small number of players employed headphones in my adventure. While there's an Apex Legends-style ping method that works reasonably well for quiet players, so most players do not listen into it. Despite solid communication options, the rigid demands of this gameplay help it become easy for a single stubborn human being to spoil the exact game for the others. A game that combines third person action with MOBA and also hero-shooter mechanisms to produce an appealing but flawed action esport..xxx. There's no easing in to producing a competitive match in 2020. Already bombarded with matches like Overwatch, Rainbow 6 Siege, the battle royales, the MOBAs, and also the vehicle chesses, people have plenty of selections, Thus in the event you want to present another, it'd been ready for prime moment. become alpha porn games, the new third-person competitive brawler from DmC developer Ninja Theory, does not feel as if it is there yet. There's a good deal of possibility : Its four-on-four scrums combine the mashy feeling of the old school beat-em-up using the strategic criteria of MOBAs and hero shooters, setting it apart from anything you are going to find in common scenes that are competitive. However, it is affected with"ancient days" increasing pains which can push away players, rather than simply draw them . Both things need all four gamers to work as a group. While a few fighters are far best suited to one-on-one combat than others, moving and fighting since a squad is compulsory as the team with larger numbers more often than not wins, irrespective of ability. Inevitably, every single match gets to be a collection of staff struggles for control of an area. In the present time, these battles can feel a bit mashy and sloppy since you rapidly hit the strike button, but there's a lot of technique involved around creating favorable matchups, mixing abilities to optimize damage coped and reduce harm obtained, and positioning to avoid wide-reaching audience control strikes. On top of the, each of the amounts pose some type of environmental danger around one or more of those crucial points onto the map, that can throw a wrench in the gears of their most pivotal moments in a suit. We ought to also deal with hyper-intelligent 800-pound gorilla within the space. become alpha sex games cribs far from Overwatch. Though unique and clever, the character designs collectively exude the exact same faux-Pixar veneer because the Overwatch throw. Then again, they cut it pretty close some times. Mekko, the 12th become alpha sex game character, is just a marathon commanding a huge robot,'' that sounds much such as Wrecking Ball, Overwatch's Hamster at a huge robot. But on the technical degree, each of become alpha sex game's modes feel very like Overwatch's"get a grip on " Don't get me wrong: King of the Hill is not particular to Overwatch by almost any means--multiplayer matches have been riffing online for years--however, the MOBA esque skillsets of all become alpha sex games's personalities guide one to technique people scenarios using hero shooter approaches.

[sid71blog]

Some upcoming films:

Apples are not the only fruit. I think that tomatoes are too, but I'm not sure; I'll look it up.

  Swirly Fortescue (Bobby Ball) is an ageing gay fella living in San Francisco with his younger lover Busty Hamilton (Dean Gaffney). The local government has decided to bulldoze the entire area that these two live in so that a lucrative bingo and whist drive hall can be built, and, due to Swirly having bet all their savings on Sunderland staying in the Premier League, they are totally skint, and have no choice but to move in with Busty’s homophobic, beer-swilling older brother Bruck (John Goodman). What follows is a moving look at the breaking down of barriers and prejudices, as Bruck slowly begins to appreciate musicals, John Barrowman, washing his pits and genitals EVERY day, and arty black and white posters of blokes with their big cocks out dotted all over the walls of his home, whilst simultaneously teaching them about indoor plumbing (not a euphemism), the correct belt fitting on your jeans so that just the right amount of bum-cleavage shows on the building site when you bend over, and farting into your mate’s pint in the pub when he goes for a shit.

  No-one came back alive; not even me.

  Drudge Hanktankerson (Clint Eastwood), is an old-timey sort living in a retirement home in California. Over time this cantankerous old codger befriends the young nurse L’il Sue Sugarstick (you won’t know her; crackin’ tits though), and eventually he begins to regale her with the harrowing tales of his time during World War Two. You will cry with her as he tells of his eighteen year old friend Brank Guthammmer dying screaming alone in a shell-hole, after a Stuka blows both his earlobes off; you will laugh as Drudge regales her with lighter battlefield moments, such as the time the lads painted a hand-grenade to look like a tin of Skol, and gave it to “Simple Dave” to pull the ring-pull; you will cry again as the lads bury Simple Dave ten minutes later; and you will have uncomfortable feelings, and mutter “this bit’s shit” to your girlfriend, during the bit where the young soldiers skinny dip in a French river.  

  Cropper.

  In this long-overdue Hollywood blockbuster based on the Coronation Street character, Channing Tatum is Roy Cropper, a man slightly flustered one reasonably busy Tuesday afternoon, when a minibus full of pensioners stops by and cleans him out of baps. In a performance already creating a strong Oscar buzz, Channing displays the full gamut of Roy’s emotional range, as we watch him ring Rita (Meryl Streep) to see if she has any baps in stock, and ask Gemma (Elizabeth Hurley) to mind the shop for a bit while he nips to the Cash and Carry. 

  Deaded to Death.

   Steven Segal (no way!) is Bronson Masticator, a retired UFC bigbone-weight world champion, down on his luck after gambling and drinking away all of his fortune. He now ekes out a living as a human panda in a shit zoo in the rough part of a rough town in a rough, intentionally vague South American country. He also bounces for a share of the tips and all the Fray Bentos pies he can eat at a local titty bar, run by the shady gangster Fuego “the castrator” Del Monte. One night Bronson witnesses a couple of Fuego’s heavies manhandling Paula Shane, the massively-popular drag tribute to Hi-de-Hi actor Paul Shane, currently on a massive stadium tour of South America, into the back of the club. Upon waking up the next morning in his rusty old caravan, he turns on his cracked old black and white television to see that the news is devoted to a $50 million ransom demanded for the return of Paula, and he must decide whether to do the right thing and take on his boss and assorted henchmen and free Paula, or keep his mouth shut and keep the Fray Bentos flowing.

  Paedon't you want Me?

   Gareth Possibly is a shy, thirty-four year old hamster-herder from Wolverhampton, who forms an attachment to Samantha Alannsuger, who moves in next door with her mother. A sweet bond unfolds between the pair of them over one long, hot summer, with Gareth slowly emerging from his brittle shell in the company of this talkative giggler, but complications inevitably set in as feelings go unreciprocated, and the nursery threaten to call the authorities if he doesn’t back off.

  Blood of the Chaffinch.

   Even eighteen year olds are advised to watch this accompanied by an older adult, so frightening is it rumoured to be. In Argentina forty two women fainted just upon seeing a badly-bootlegged t-shirt bearing the lead chaffinch hanging on a washing line, and at the premiere in Los Angeles one woman went into labour in the cinema, despite not being pregnant when the film started. The baby came out covered in BLOOD. Due to these haunting stories, the film has gained notoriety even before its world-wide release, and many reckon that it will do for chaffinches what Jaws did for Great Whites.   

  Cold cold Heart.  

   This Inuit romance wowed the critics at the inaugural Macduff film festival, causing many of the film critics to pretend to shed a manly tear, in the hope of a sympathy tug in the bogs afterwards.  Wee Beely Johnson is a lonely Inuit igloo salesman, doomed to a solitary life spent ploughing the snowwoman he has built most nights, or trying to convince himself that the three month old seal carcass in his front room is a comely mermaid. One night he finds a woman trapped by her leg in a bear trap he has set, and as she slowly recuperates in his igloo conservatory, feelings grow. It takes him four hours to feel his way through all the layers of fur, but eventually the relationship is consummated, and they live happily ever after. Well, until she starts to rot, being a fucking bear corpse that the mad old cunt has been shagging in the delusion that it’s a tidy bint.   

  The wrong Trousers.

   Hollywood live-action remake of Wallace and Gromit, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Wallace, and Andy Serkis as a motion-capture CGI Gromit. In this slightly-tweaked story Wallace is a grizzled cop who doesn’t play by the rules, and Gromit is his loyal German Shepherd police dog. When investigating a drug deal the pair come to the attentions of the powerful drug lord “El Capitano”, who kills all of Gromit’s closest relatives, and blows up Wallace’s opulent beach-front property; that he can somehow afford on his policeman’s salary. The pair must hunt down El Capitano and put him out of business before he does the same to them, something not helped by Wallace’s alcohol problem. Also starring Charize Theron as the love interest. For Wallace, you sick bastard. 

  "Sorry Dad, you're breaking up, I'm just heading into a fudge tunnel". 

   This hilarious comedy stars Zac Efron as Billy Fronc, an eighteen year old who lives for partying with his friends. Mark Wahlberg is his seventeen year old buddy, “Stoner” Crud Mazzwick, and Adam Sandler is twenty year old layabout Freez Dirklange. After losing a bet with Crud’s older brothers Broxton and Steele, the three must spend a Saturday night at the city’s notorious gay club Oooooo, Get You! Initially reluctant to mingle in case they catch gay, after a few rounds of confidence-boosting and trouser-slackening tequila they are soon dancing up a storm on the dancefloor with their new friends.  Well, apart from Wahlberg’s character of course; he had it written into the script that he won’t let any “bummer” near his meat and two meat (no girly veg for Mark), and in fact his character gets into a fight with three burly homosexual men after one of them gives a lascivious look in the vague direction of Mark’s ashtray.

Mark wins.

Obviously.

   No room at the inn for Jar Jar.

   This sombre, black and white documentary follows what happens to Jar Jar Binks, after his unpopular starring role in some shit prequel or other. A sobering look at the American dream gone wrong, we follow a desolate Jar Jar as he repeatedly auditions for further acting roles, only to be turned away time and time again. We watch his slow descent into alcoholism, every drink punctuated by his sobbed mutterings of “Meesa fuckwit”, as he tortures himself watching a worn-out DVD of his only major role over and over again.

  No tulips in December.

   Sally Algernon (Dot Cotton) has been living in the old people’s home of her quiet part of Boston for seven years now. Her husband long dead and her children busy washing their hair, besides exchanging pleasantries with the nurses she has little to fill her days, apart from an ongoing feud with Gertrude Begonia (Honor Blackman) over who gets to sit in the best chair in the TV room. All this changes when a new gardener, Bowl Funterton (Russ Abbott), begins tending the gardens of the home (again, not a euphemism). Seeing his shirtless exertions, with his darts-honed physique and rippling liver spots, awakens feelings in Sally that she had thought long dormant. Soon she is flirting suggestively over a plate of Hobnobs, and being “accidently” caught walking cardigan-less in front of her window, with its deliberately open curtains. Unfortunately, there is a spanner in the works in her attempts to attract his attentions: she is surrounded by young, attractive NURSES, so she could ride a unicorn whilst juggling the Arsenal youth team and farting the theme tune to EastEnders perfectly, and she still wouldn’t be able to drag Bowl’s eyes away from young Samantha’s shapely arse.  

  A banjo for Billy.

   Cuthbert Faintlyaromatic and his wife Cynthia are dealt a crushing blow when, after seven years of trying, they finally have a child, only for young Billy to be born with the rare disease Kenny Loggins’ contraption. With knees for eyes, hairy teeth, a hunch-back AND a hunch-bum, continuous flatulence, an ingrown penis (on his tongue), and an allergy to his own nostrils, there is as yet no known cure for this horrible affliction, and those first few months tested their partnership to its limits. Just when things seemed totally desolate, a kindly doctor rescues them from despair, when he hands over an old banjo of his Grandads in exchange for Billy, as he needs something to lay on the floor in front of his living room door, to keep the draught out. Oh, did you think that maybe Billy would grow up and find meaning in his existence with the discovery of a musical gift or summat? Sorry. 

[movieswithkevin27]

Carnage

Adapted from a play, Carnage is set in a single room and is a dramatic and uproariously comical black comedy-drama from director Roman Polanski. Bringing together two couples who have to discuss an incident between their respective sons, the civilized encounter quickly turns nasty and shows the carnage of the situation between their sons. Opening wounds regarding their marriages, lives, and characters, the encounter soon descends into chaos with in-fighting and larger revelations about the world around us with the carnage extending far beyond expectations. Set in just the living room of one of the couple's homes with some scenes in the bathroom and hallway, the film is easily identified as a play, but is one hell of a play translated to film. One of the greatest accomplishments of the film, however, is how it characterizes each person. While the acting is exemplary, the characters are feasts for the eyes and have a lot of meat on their bones. This is largely examined when each is put on the hot seat and attacked by the other three people in the room, with the person on the hot seat constantly changing. What is crucial, however, is how fake each person is, which becomes apparent quite quickly.

The person who wants the meeting the most is undeniably Penelope Longstreet (Jodie Foster). Married to Michael (John C. Reilly), her self-righteous, savior of the world persona becomes readily apparent in her interactions with Alan Cowan (Christoph Waltz). Constantly dramatizing his words and editorializing them, the attack on her child by the Cowan's boy is clearly seen as a personal affront because she sees the world in a particular way. As she describes, she is a believer in a civilized world with a set rule of law where violence has no place. Everybody else, however, has there point of difference on this stance and Penelope's superiority complex is constantly derided. Foster does a great job capturing both the defensiveness and perplexed nature of the character. Clearly an educated white liberal (I am independent, so this is not an attack on politics), Penelope seems to have operated in an echo chamber all her life with a husband who just gives up rather than fight her. As such, she is shocked to see anybody dare to trivialize the turmoil in Africa - which she has never seen first hand - in favor of issues that impact their immediate lives instead. She is prim, proper, and to the point, unafraid to express her opinion. The way in which the character is written feels incredibly authentic. The script by Yasmina Reza and Polanski really highlight what is important to this character when Nancy Cowan (Kate Winslet) pukes on her coffee table. Though she later apologized, Penelope freaks out that Nancy puked on her one-of-a-kind art magazine or something. Valuing culture above all else - family included - Penelope pretends to be conscientious of the world around her, but is just as materialistic and vapid as the rest of us.

As for her husband Michael, he is a shockingly cruel man. Killing his daughter's pet hamster Nibbles because he does not like rodents, Michael casually criticizes those who have kids and describes newlyweds as "poor fuckers" who will wake up to the truth soon enough. Clearly unhappy in his marriage, nihilistic, and cynical about the world around him, Michael is a man whose values may be less clear than the others. Buying tulips to keep up appearances in front of the Cowans even though he does not want to meet with them, he is a guy who values money and displays of wealth. The tulips are a small part of this, but his emphasis on illegal acquired and expensive cigars, the 18-year old malt liquor, and his belief that kids are a drain on the lives of the parents, it is clear he values material wealth. While his wife is more concerned with what the money buys and the culture she lives in, Michael just likes to buy items that show off how much money he has acquired in his life. Of course, these items also show his lack of caring for his kids, as one of his kids is asthmatic. As Penelope tells him, the smoking of cigars in the house will bother their kid's asthma, but he does it anyways. This is really against type for Reilly as instead of a goofy and likable character, he is largely repugnant in the film. He does a lot with the role and plays both the lovable guy and the guy who is brash and outspoken incredibly well in this film. Ironically, at one point, the dialogue has Michael chastise pharmaceutical companies for being after nothing but profit. Yet, his obsession with displays of wealth and his wife's clear obsession with culture and expensive art shows that he too is after nothing but cold hard cash.

On the other side of the table are the Cowans. Alan, a successful lawyer in the midst of a legal issue with a pharmaceutical company's unsuccessful drug, is clearly distracted. Constantly on the phone, he is like Michael in that he does not want to be there. He does not value his children and could care less about his son. As the ending shows, his son apologized on his own to the child he hurt. Yet, he casually casts him aside a maniac incapable of emotion and sympathy. He, according to his wife Nancy, delegates all matters of the kids and the home to his wife as that is his role. In this way, he is incredibly paternalistic. The man works and the woman raises the kids. He cannot process other methods of doing things, hence his need to constantly work in order to feel busy and accomplished. Since he barely has the wife and the kids are long gone from him, Alan focuses in on the only element he is good at: providing. As such, he is constantly on the phone and is obsessed with the thing. When his wife dumps it in the flower pot, he panics and exclaims that his "entire life was in there". For Alan, this means a lot more than appears on the surface. To him, it most certainly is the entirety of his life or, at least, what he is capable of offering. Afterwards, the women laugh at him and he sulks on the ground, lost as to how to proceed. While he may not be affectionate to Nancy, he still calls her "doodle" at every chance he gets. As such, it is clear some part of him does love her and his defeated reaction to losing the phone shows just how lost he is with how he could possibly provide for her. A calculating man, Alan really does show his true nature when Michael puts him on the phone with Michael's mother. Dealing with criticism of a drug for a company he is the lawyer for, he has spent the whole day telling everybody to deny anything and to keep the drug out there. Yet, when talking to Michael's mother, he tells her it will not kill her, but she should definitely stop taking the drug. As such, while it shows he is quite fake, there is a good person somewhere in there who is not just all about money.

Finally, we have Nancy. One of the faker characters in the film, as identified by Penelope, Nancy pretends she wants to be there and to care about her son, but she has given up long ago. She has fleeting moments of joy, such as when she damages Alan's phone, but she otherwise feels nothing in her daily life. She is greatly unfulfilled and throws up twice in the film. This is partly nerves and partly stress, but a lot of it is derived from how uncomfortable she is with the situation and the cobbler the Longstreets gave her. As she has a clearly hands off approach to her child, even she can barely handle her own nonsense that she expresses in the film. Instead of being interested in anything else, she is incredibly selfish and shallow. When Penelope throws Nancy's purse in the air, Nancy's first reaction is to freak out about how she broke her perfume and make-up. Just as the destruction of important items reveals a lot for the other characters, this shows just how self-obsessed Nancy is in her daily life. While Alan is hands-off with the kids and open about it, Nancy pretends to be hands-on, but is too narcissistic and concerned with herself to actually care about her children. By the time she is blind drunk, she expresses this to everybody else and reveals just how little she cares about what happened between the two boys.

A thoroughly comical film, Carnage reveals the absurdity of its story with the finale of the boys making up on their own and Nibbles the hamster just chilling in the park. If anything, Carnage is about four people descending into madness and our inability to relate to one another and the world. At the end of the day, it is a cynical world view offered by Polanski in which we all grow up to be in it for our self-interest. As children, we are clearly optimists who can look past the ills committed against us. As adults, however, we hold grudges, internalize them, and these then drive us away from those near us.

[ossyuche]

100 Reasons I Love You

I’m a writer.

I can’t say whether I’m any good. All I can say is that I’m prolific.

I wrote the comedy column in my college newspaper.

I wrote a dozen screenplays and 15 sitcoms when I moved to LA in my twenties.

I have written over 1000 blog posts, 400 newsletters, 100 podcasts and 4 books since then.

But the most meaningful thing I’ve ever written is something no one has ever read before.

It’s a series of lists called “100 Reasons I Love You” that I wrote for the extraordinary woman I call my wife.

The first one was dated July 25, 2007. That was six months into our relationship  when I first told her I loved her.

The second one was dated November 25, 2007. That was for her 38th birthday.

The third one was dated April 24, 2008. That was when I proposed to her.

Since then, we’ve gotten married, bought a house in the suburbs, and had two children, now 6 and 7, who fill up our world with delight.

As a husband, father, son, brother, friend, and small business owner, I’m as harried as you are, trying to spread my time and attention around to make everyone I love happy.

But, as you know, things fall through the cracks. That’s life.

We all have to pick and choose what’s important.

As a dating coach, I have a daily window into this, and one of the things I see regularly is how well-meaning couples fall into a rut and start to take each other for granted.

To be fair, we all have a great excuse: life is, indeed, busy!

And really, who has the time and energy to treat your spouse like you did when you first began dating?

Yet that lack of time and energy are exactly why relationships falter.

It’s why people grow apart.

All the little things stop and you fall into your roles.

You work. You parent. You sleep.

All the time you put into being a couple has disappeared and been absorbed into life’s other endeavors. Next thing you know, you’re wondering: “What happened to us?”

THAT’s why I insist that relationships don’t take “work,” but they do take EFFORT.

So while I’d like to think I’m a good husband – I wake up the kids and make them breakfast, I’m out of the office every day at 5:30 to help out my family, and I’m fluent in all 5 Love Languages – there’s always something that can be done better.

I’m doing it today.

This week marks my 10th Anniversary.

It’s not only been ten years since my wife and I tied the knot, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part – but it’s been ten years since I wrote a list for my wife of 100 reasons I love her.

It’s something I’ve been meaning to do, but haven’t gotten around to, what with soccer practice, cleaning out the garage, and putting together that earthquake preparedness kit.

My 100 Reasons list is not a work of literary genius. It’s mostly a series of inside jokes for an audience of two. But I’m sharing it with you today for three reasons:

1. I’m proud of it. I’m proud of my wife. I’m proud of my marriage. I’m proud that I’m given this opportunity to let you peek in on my relationship and show you what healthy, lasting love looks like from the inside.

2. My wife is cool with it. Sure, this is written for private purposes, but my wife has made peace with the fact that I’m an open book. So while I respect her privacy and cherish our marriage, I also see our partnership as an education on love that I can offer directly to you. All the good, all the bad; I only have one mode: honest.

3. True love can be yours. While I wouldn’t hold my breath on your future husband writing you 4 lists of 100 reasons he loves you, that’s because he’ll have a real job besides “dating coach.” What he lacks as a romantic and fast typist, I promise he’ll make up for with other traits: character, consistency, kindness, and commitment.

This much I know is true.

Great husbands come in many forms to the millions of women who look for them.

Great husbands come in many forms to the millions of women who look for them.

They don’t, however, come to women who have given up on men.

They don’t come to women who think the worst of men.

They don’t come to women who think dating is a waste of time and that relationships only lead to heartbreak and disappointment.

That’s why, starting officially on Thursday, November 1st, I’m having a special sale on my Believe in Love program where you’ll get $50 off just for being on my mailing list.

Consider that my 10th-anniversary gift to YOU.

You deserve to be happy and in love.

If you don’t have it now, then something has to change – preferably sooner, rather than later.

In the meantime, enjoy your day, hug someone special, and check your inbox on Thursday morning to take advantage of this opportunity to get your groove back and save big money.

Warmest wishes and much love,

Your friend,

Evan

P.S. You didn’t think I’d close this email without sharing my list, did you?

So, without further ado, 100 Reasons I Love My Wife, Volume 4:

1. You always have floss with you.

2.  You let me read bedtime stories to the kids every night.

3. You know how to turn on the pool heater and filter since I don’t.

4. You make a generous effort to visit my family whenever we can.

5. You have separate washes for blacks, colors and lights.

6. You say yes to all social plans — and often consider whether I want to be part of them.

7. You encourage me to see my guy friends.

8. You are the pioneer of the Mad Libs Dance Challenge.

9. You are really fun, considering you’re the not-fun parent.

10. You will always go out of your way to help a friend.

11. You validate me when I say I need more quality time with you.

12. You appreciate how much I want to provide for the family.

13. You offer me fair criticism in ways that I can always handle.

14. You drive six hours in a day for a weekend without the kids.

15. You make a mean gazpacho.

16. You rock those holiday wall calendars.

17. You care about the details of every barbecue, dinner party, and birthday party.

18. You continue to surprise me with random military facts that I don’t know.

19. You can spend three nights packing for a three-day weekend.

20. You need to have 10 different kinds of vinegar to eat one large heirloom tomato.

21. You listen to me relentlessly vent about the technology part of my business.

22. You are proud of your age and you’re proud that I’m proud of your age.

23. You know how to laugh at yourself.

24. You make sure the kids can laugh at themselves, too.

25. You are the model for all the Catholic wives at synagogue.

26. You sort through endless amounts of kids’ homework on the kitchen table.

27. You always prove that when I can’t find something, I just did a “man-look.”

28. You are willing to go to the beach with me, even though you don’t like sand.

29. You made sure our 16-day East Coast road trip was an experience to remember.

30. You’re willing to listen to my ideas about how to be happier and more efficient.

31. You like to keep the pool at 88 degrees.

32. You get 97 texts from your PFA friends in one day.

33. You dominate at board game night, especially Taboo.

34. You are wonderfully shameless when it comes to karaoke night.

35. You never go to bed mad.

36. You can somehow sleep until 11am on weekends.

37. You write cards that make me cry.

38. You only cry when your computer is causing you trouble.

39. You will always want to go to a movie on a night when the kids are in San Diego.

40. You put salt on salted popcorn.

41. You actually owned a tank of helium for balloons.

42. You like math.

43. You are the designated poop-picker-upper when there’s an accident.

44. You never say no to a Mommy’s Night Out.

45. You curse more than I do.

46. You are more into reading, theater and politics than when we first met.

47. You insist on themed Halloween costumes for all four of our family members.

48. You have a whole section of the attic reserved for different holiday decorations.

49. You need two attics to house all the things you’ve never thrown out.

50. You like 90% of what I buy you for Christmas.

51. You trust me when it comes to choosing a restaurant.

52. You always order the least healthy (and most tasty) thing on the menu.

53. You are cool with canceling Christmas. Or our 10th-anniversary vacation, if need be.

54. You are slowly coming around on the dog thing. Maybe a dwarf hamster first…

55. You finally got into book club — but you have a better idea if this one collapses.

56. You are always agreeable when I invite old friends over to dinner.

57. You treat my family like your own family.

58. You care about how you look — and you invariably look beautiful.

59. You make incredible meals in the crockpot.

60. You have a pantry with about 50 kinds of carbs, crackers, chips and cereals.

61. You don’t tell me how you vote — but I’m pretty sure you vote the way I would.

62. You are an excellent disciplinarian with the kids.

63. You invariably agree with me when we do our post-party rundown in the car.

64. You are the unofficial mayor of our town.

65. You embrace why my Israel trip meant so much to me.

66. You are the best kind of stable — I know exactly what I’ll get for the rest of my life.

67. You are almost willing to go camping, as long as there’s a shower in the woods.

68. You are an easy audience.

69. You don’t count calories.

70. You make bangs look good.

71. You take pride in being the best school treasurer ever.

72. You’re sometimes willing to have sex TWO times in a week.

73. You use 12 pillows when you go to sleep at night in your pillow fort.

74. You knew every word at the Depeche Mode show and braved three days at Desert Trip.

75. You allow me to play dinnertime DJ and introduce the kids to our music.

76. You don’t want anything more in life than a weekend alone.

77. You still read wedding magazines and consider them your version of porn.

78. You laugh at my mishaps at Thai massage places.

79. You drive much faster than I do.

80. You read much slower.

81. You say “I love you” at least 25% of the times I say it to you.

82. You are a hero to women you’ve never met.

83. You save random Saturday Night Live sketches for me to watch after you’ve seen them.

84. You handle customer service issues when I’m about to blow a gasket.

85. You make sure the kids are prepared for any fluctuation in temperature.

86. You never pass up a glass (or two) of wine.

87. You have middle-class taste at home and five-star taste in hotels.

88. You look great naked.

89. You make me feel like I do, too.

90. You donate to every charity that any of your family members request.

91. You can take a 2-hour break from telling a story and begin right where you left off.

92. You can operate on three hours of sleep.

93. You are more than willing to leave a party…an hour after I first asked if we could go.

94. You never make me feel bad when I’m falling short.

95. You don’t let your past relationships negatively affect your present ones.

96. You understand my need to talk about my past — my father, my exes, my career.

97. You have the highest emotional intelligence of anyone I’ve ever met.

99. You know all my embarrassing anecdotes — and you’re still here!

100. You are my muse, my north star, my raison d’etre, my favorite person in the world.

Happy 10th anniversary, honey!

Love,

Evan

The post 100 Reasons I Love You appeared first on Dating Coach – Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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100 Reasons I Love You

New Post has been published on https://onlinedatingloves.com/awesome/100-reasons-i-love-you/

100 Reasons I Love You

I’m a writer.

I can’t say whether I’m any good. All I can say is that I’m prolific.

I wrote the comedy column in my college newspaper.

I wrote a dozen screenplays and 15 sitcoms when I moved to LA in my twenties.

I have written over 1000 blog posts, 400 newsletters, 100 podcasts and 4 volumes since then.

But the most meaningful thing I’ve ever written is something “no ones ever” read before.

It’s a series of listings called “1 00 Reasons I Love You” that I wrote for the extraordinary girl I call my wife.

The first one was dated July 25, 2007. That was six months into our relationship when I first told her I loved her.

The second one was dated November 25, 2007. That was for her 38 th birthday.

The third one was dated April 24, 2008. That was when I proposed to her.

Since then, we’ve gotten married, bought a house in the suburbium, and had two children , now 6 and 7, who fill up our world with delight.

As a husband, father, son, friend, friend, and small business owner, I’m as harried as you are, trying to spread my day and attention around to attain everyone I love happy.

But, as you know, things fall through the crackings. That’s life.

We all have to pick and choose what’s important.

As a dating coach, I have a daily window into this, and one of the things I see regularly is how well-meaning couples fall into a rut and are beginning to take each other for granted.

To be fair, we all have a great excuse: life is, indeed, busy!

And actually, who has the time and energy to treat your spouse like you did when you first began dating?

Yet that absence of period and energy are exactly why relationships falter.

It’s why people grow apart.

All the little things stop and you fall into your roles.

You work. You parent. You sleep.

All the time you put into being a couple has disappeared and been absorbed into life’s other endeavors. Next thing you know, you’re wondering: “What happened to us? ”

THAT’s why I insist that relationships don’t take “work, ” but they do take EFFORT.

So while I’d like to think I’m a good spouse- I wake up the kids and induce them breakfast, I’m out of the office every day at 5:30 to help out my family, and I’m fluent in all 5 Love Languages- there’s always something that can be done better.

I’m doing it today.

This week marks my 10 th Anniversary.

It’s is not merely been ten years since my wife and I tied the knot, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health,’ til demise do us portion- but it’s been ten years since I wrote a listing for my spouse of 100 reasons I love her.

It’s something I’ve been meaning to do, but haven’t get around to, what with football practise, cleaning out the garage, and putting together that earthquake preparedness kit.

My 100 Reasons list is not a run of literary genius. It’s largely a series of inside jokes for an audience of two. But I’m sharing it with you today for three reasons :P TAGEND

1. I’m proud of it. I’m proud of my spouse. I’m proud of my wedding. I’m proud that I’m given this opportunity to let you peek in on my relationship and demonstrate you what healthy, lasting love looks like from the inside.

2. My wife is cool with it. Sure, this is written for private purposes, but my spouse has constructed peace with the facts of the case that I’m an open book. So while I respect her privacy and cherish our wedding, I also consider our partnership as an education on love that I can offer immediately to you. All the good, all the bad; I merely have one mode: honest.

3. True love are likely to be yours. While I wouldn’t hold my breath on your future spouse writing you 4 lists of 100 reasons he loves you, that’s because he’ll have a real task besides “dating coach.” What he lacks as a romantic and fast typist, I promise he’ll make up for with other traits: character, consistency, kindness, and commitment.

This much I know is true.

Great husbands come in many forms to the millions of women who look for them.

Great husbands come in many forms to the millions of women who look for them.

They don’t, however, come to women who have given up on men.

They don’t come to women who guess the worst of men.

They don’t come to women who think dating is a waste of time and that relationships merely lead to heartbreak and disappointment.

That’s why, starting officially on Thursday, November 1st, I’m having a special marketing on my Believe in Love program where you’ll get $50 off just for being on my mailing list.

Consider that my 10 th-anniversary gift to YOU.

You deserve to be happy and in love.

If you don’t have it now, then something has to change- preferably sooner, rather than later.

In the meantime, enjoy your day, hug someone special, and check your inbox on Thursday morning to take advantage of this opportunity to get your groove back and save big money.

Warmest wishings and much love,

Your friend,

Evan

P.S. You didn’t believe I’d shut this email without sharing my list, did you?

So, without further ado, 100 Reasons I Love My Wife, Volume 4 :P TAGEND

1. You always have floss with you.

2. You let me read bedtime stories to the kids every night.

3. You know how to turn on the pond heater and filter since I don’t.

4. You make a generous effort to visit my family whenever we can.

5. You have separate washings for blacks, colours and lights.

6. You say yes to all social plans- and often consider whether I want to be part of them.

7. You promote me to insure my guy friends.

8. You are the pioneer of the Mad Libs Dance Challenge.

9. You are really fun, considering you’re the not-fun parent.

10. You will always go out of your way to help a friend.

11. You validate me when I say I need more quality time with you.

12. You appreciate how much I want to provide for the family.

13. You offer me fair criticism in ways that I can always handle.

14. You drive six hours in a day for a weekend without the kids.

15. You make a mean gazpacho.

16. You rock those vacation wall calendars.

17. You care about the details of every barbecue, dinner party, and birthday party.

18. You continue to surprise me with random military facts that I don’t know.

19. You can expend three nights packing for a three-day weekend.

20. You need to have 10 all sorts of vinegar to eat one big heirloom tomato.

21. You listen to me relentlessly vent about the technology part of my business.

22. You are proud of your age and you’re proud that I’m proud of your age.

23. You know how to laugh at yourself.

24. You make sure the kids can laugh at themselves, too.

25. You are the model for all the Catholic wives at synagogue.

26. You sort through endless amounts of kids’ homework on the kitchen table.

27. You always prove that when I can’t find something, I simply did a “man-look.”

28. You are willing to go to the beach with me, even though you don’t like sand.

29. You constructed sure our 16 -day East Coast road trip was an experience to remember.

30. You’re willing to listen to my notions about how to be happier and more efficient.

31. You like to keep the pool at 88 degrees.

32. You get 97 texts from your PFA friends in one day.

33. You dominate at board game night, especially Taboo.

34. You are wonderfully shameless when it is necessary to karaoke night.

35. You never go to bed mad.

36. You can somehow sleep until 11 am on weekends.

37. You write cards that make me cry.

38. You merely cry when your computer is causing you trouble.

39. You will always want to go to a movie on a night when the kids are in San Diego.

40. You put salt on salted popcorn.

41. You actually owned a tank of helium for balloons.

42. You like math.

43. You are the designated poop-picker-upper when there’s an accident.

44. You never say no to a Mommy’s Night Out.

45. You curse more than I do.

46. You are more into reading, theater and politics than when we first met.

47. You insist on themed Halloween costumes for all four of our family members.

48. You have a whole section of the attic reserved for different holiday decorations.

49. You require two attics to house all the things you’ve never hurled out.

50. You like 90% of what I buy you for Christmas.

51. You trust me when it comes to choosing a restaurant.

52. You always order the least healthy( and most tasty) thing on the menu.

53. You are cool with canceling Christmas. Or our 10 th-anniversary vacation, if need be.

54. You are slowly coming around on the dog thing. Maybe a dwarf hamster first…

55. You eventually got into volume club- but you have a better idea if this one collapses.

56. You are always agreeable when I invite old friends over to dinner.

57. You treat my family like your own family.

58. You care about how you seem- and you invariably look beautiful.

59. You construct incredible meals in the crockpot.

60. You have a pantry with about 50 kinds of carbs, crackers, chips and cereals.

61. You don’t tell me how you vote- but I’m pretty sure you vote the way I would.

62. You are an excellent disciplinarian with the kids.

63. You invariably agree with me when we do our post-party rundown in the car.

64. You are the unofficial mayor of our town.

65. You embrace why my Israel trip entailed so much to me.

66. You are the best kind of stable- I know exactly what I’ll get for the rest of my life.

67. You are almost willing to go camping, as long as there’s a shower in the woods.

68. You are an easy audience.

69. You don’t count calories.

70. You attain bangs seem good.

71. You take pride in being the best school treasurer ever.

72. You’re sometimes willing to have sex TWO days in a week.

73. You use 12 pillows when you go to sleep at night in your pillow fort.

74. You knew every term at the Depeche Mode show and braved three days at Desert Trip.

75. You allow me to play dinnertime DJ and introduce the kids to our music.

76. You don’t want anything more in life than a weekend alone.

77. You still read marriage publications and consider them your version of porn.

78. You laugh at my mishaps at Thai massage places.

79. You drive much faster than I do.

80. You read much slower.

81. You say “I love you” at least 25% of the times I say it to you.

82. You are a hero to females you’ve never met.

83. You save random Saturday Night Live sketches for me to watch after you’ve seen them.

84. You handle customer service issues when I’m about to blow a gasket.

85. You make sure the kids are prepared for any fluctuation in temperature.

86. You never pass up a glass( or two) of wine.

87. You have middle-class savour at home and five-star taste in hotels.

88. You look great naked.

89. You stimulate me feel like I do, too.

90. You donate to every charity that any of your family members request.

91. You can take a 2-hour transgres from telling a tale and begin right where you left off.

92. You can operate on three hours of sleep.

93. You are more than willing to leave a party…an hour after I first asked if we could go.

94. You never induce me feel bad when I’m falling short.

95. You don’t let your past relationships negatively affect your present ones.

96. You understand my need to talk about my past- my father, my exes, my career.

97. You have the highest emotional intelligence of anyone I’ve ever met.

99. You know all my embarrassing anecdotes- and you’re still here!

100. You are my muse, my north star, my raison d’etre, my favorite person in the world.

Happy 10 th anniversary, honey!

Love,

Evan

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A match that combines third-person action with MOBA and also hero-shooter mechanics to generate an interesting but flawed action esport.

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