#I just wish she listened to me earlier because now I’m quitting on them last minute

[malachitezmeyka]

Update: I did it but now I somehow feel even worse than before

[watchmegetobsessed]

LOVE AND TOUR

A/N: im so excited to post this fic bc *drum roll* it's a collab with @harrysfolklore !! the post tour depression is still kicking our butts so we decided to team up for a story that features LOT! hope you guys will like it and as always, make sure to head over to her blog to check out her fic that features all social media posts for this story!

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry were once friends, but his career pulled them apart. Then in 2019 Harry decides to invite her to ONO London and so their story begins or more like continues.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

2010

The handmade banner hanging over the white board in the classroom is crooked and two balloons have popped already. The sign reads ‘Good luck, Harry!’ and every letter is a different color. The desks and chairs were pushed to the side to make room in the middle and the teacher’s desk is full of snacks and drinks the kids brought in for the little impromptu party the class decided to throw before Harry’s big day.

He is going to his big X Factor audition this weekend and though he is not convinced he will make it, everyone in school is rooting for him. If anyone deserves the success it’s Harry, the goofy, kind boy who makes everyone smile and always helps whenever he can.

The soon-to-be rockstar is mingling with his friends and classmates, music is playing in the background and the chatting is nonstop. Everyone keeps asking Harry if he’s nervous or ready or which judge he is afraid of the most. He tries his best to talk to everyone and be everywhere, though he keeps an eye on one specific girl.

Y/N has been staying in the back for most of the time, sipping on some soda, listening to her friend as he enjoys the spotlight. She’s been friends with Y/N for quite some time, they live just a street away from each other, they often bike to school together and whenever one of them is sick the other one can be expected to show up at their house with the homework.

Good friends. That’s what they are. But deep down, Y/N is definitely feeling more than just friendship towards the curly haired boy who is now set to step his foot on the road to fame.

When the party is over and everyone has headed home already, Harry and Y/N are the last ones to walk out of the school’s building.

“So, be honest, are you nervous?” she asks as they are walking home , pushing their bikes this time. Harry said he hurt his ankle at PE today so he better not get on the bike, but in reality… he is just trying to spend more time with Y/N. 

“Kind of, yeah,” he admits with a chuckle.

“I’m sure you will crush it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” she smiles at him and his heart skips a beat. 

Harry has been trying to work up his courage to ask Y/N out since probably the sixth grade, but he just never got to the point. Now he tells himself that if he gets into X Factor she will see him in a different light and that’s when he should ask her out, but little does he know he doesn’t need to be in a talent show to have her like him enough to want him.

Reaching her house she wishes him good luck and even hugs him before he waves goodbye and continues his way home. Y/N stands by their front door and watches him get farther away, hoping that whatever happens that weekend won’t change their friendship.

2013

The tour bus is quiet, everyone is asleep. Everyone, except Harry. 

Lying in his bunk bed, his face is illuminated by his phone as he aimlessly scrolls on his social media apps, checking out posts by fans, reading news, just killing time. He knew he shouldn’t have had a nap earlier, because now it will be way too late by the time he can fall asleep and won’t be rested enough when they arrive in the next city. 

He opens up Instagram and goes through his feed, he posts a picture he took of the crowd at the show the other day and then watches the likes flood in like crazy. 

Going back to his feed he goes through his friends’ posts, it’s just the usual, parties, vacations, hanging out, everyone seems to be living their life even though Harry often feels like time has stopped since he’s gotten on the road. 

He can feel himself growing sleepier and he is just about to put his phone down when he comes across a post that wakes him up.

Y/N is not one to post often, she is not like most girls he knows who want to share every and any moment of their life. Last time she uploaded something was probably weeks ago. This time she was snapped in her graduation gown, her hair flowing in the movement flawlessly and he recognizes her parents’ home in the background. It totally slipped Harry’s mind that in a life he left behind graduation was happening these days. 

He scrolls down to the caption and all it says is “Soon” and then a crown emoji. It’s enough for him to know she’s going to King’s College London, that’s what she always dreamed about and it seems like she hasn’t changed her mind.

Before he could think about it, he double taps on the picture liking it, completely oblivious to how fans can see his activity and they instantly start guessing about who the girl is whose graduation photo was liked by Harry Styles.

2014

The screaming intensifies wherever Harry goes on the stage, he is jumping and shaking his long hair to the music while his bandmates are singing ‘Steal My Girl’ and the girls are going crazy, the energies are insane, Harry loves performing, this is truly his element. 

He’s been on the road for what feels like forever and if you asked him what day it was, he would have no idea. It’s a miracle he knows which city he is currently in.

Walking to the side of the stage he stops for a moment right before the bridge that’s his part. He lifts his mic to his lips and starts singing when the music dies down right before his lines.

“She knows, she knows, that I never let her down before…”

His voice fills up the stadium, thousands are singing together with him and he runs his gaze over the sea of people in front of him. He sees so many faces, some are even familiar, Harry tends to remember fans he sees over and over again at their concerts, but most of them are new. The song carries on and the boys start singing along with him, Harry is about to move back to the middle of the stage, but then he sees her.

He sees Y/N.

Or so he thinks. It’s hard to tell, because it’s dark and she is so far away from the stage, it could be just someone who resembles her, but something in his gut tells him it’s her. 

He does a double take, losing the familiar face for a moment but then he finds her again and a shiver runs down his spine. He hasn’t seen her in years, life has been simply way too hectic to keep in touch, last time he met her was probably in 2012 when he went home for Christmas, they ran into each other in town and promised to talk soon because they were both kind of in a hurry, but they never followed up with it. Y/N went to college, Harry’s career was skyrocketing, it was impossible to stay as close as they were before X Factor and Harry always regretted not trying harder, because now he has no idea what’s happening in her life. 

Niall walks up to him and pats him on the back and Harry’s focus shifts to his friend for just a moment, but it’s enough to not find her again when he looks back at the audience. Did she duck down? Walk out when she realized he was looking? Or did he just entirely imagine seeing her and it was just a mirage? 

He can’t get her out of his head for the rest of the show and he finds himself looking for her over and over again, but he doesn’t see her again and his consciousness starts to convince him she wasn’t even there. 

It was just a cruel trick his own mind played on him. 

2019

Why does he feel like he is sending out an invitation to the Queen of England? Why is he so nervous to hit send on an email? This is nothing Earth shattering, nothing will happen if he sends it out and life will go on even if she never replies.

One Night Only is set to happen in a few weeks and Harry is now sending out his invitations to his friends and family, he wants everyone who matters to be there on such a big night. Making the list was no hard task, but then he thought of inviting Y/N as well even though they haven’t talked in so long.

The other night, Harry found himself stalking her Instagram which he is still following. She has been posting once or twice a month, tiny glimpses into her life that doesn’t include Harry anymore.

But he wants to change that.

“Fuck it,” he mumbles under his breath and then adds her to the list of people who will get the invitation and then he just hits send and it’s officially out there. 

Harry is not necessarily one to get overly obsessive about something, but the next few days he finds himself checking his inbox every hour, scrolling through the new emails, looking for one particular address to show up, but he has to come to the conclusion every time that Y/N hasn’t answered. 

Days go by, Harry’s enthusiasm fades and by the end of the week he is convinced she won’t be there and soon he doesn’t even have time to think about it. 

One Night Only arrives to London in december. The venue fills up with excited and devoted fans, but no one is more nervous about tonight than Harry. 

He is ready, his band is ready, everything is perfectly in place, but he knows he won’t feel fully calm until he is on stage, performing to the people who gave him this amazing life. 

It all goes as planned, Fine Line is finally officially out there (it has been for about a week if we are being exact) and Harry couldn’t be happier. Coming off the stage he is still high on adrenaline, taking all the congratulations the crew and guests are giving him relentlessly. His smile is so wide, it’s starting to hurt his face, but it’s a pain he could happily deal with for the rest of his life.

He hugs his mum and sister, all his old friends, they do a group hug with the band and he is sure he has greeted everyone by now, but then he spots one specific figure in the back of the room.

At first he thinks he is just imagining it. That his mind is playing the same trick on him it did a few years ago when he thought he saw Y/N at one of their concerts. Blinking a couple of times he is ready to watch her disappear like a ghost, but as the seconds go by he realizes that she is truly there.

Y/N is standing across the room with a nervous smile, looking all grown up and most importantly fucking beautiful. Even though Harry has seen plenty of pictures of her from recent times, it’s still a shock to have her stand in the same room as him. 

His body moves before his brain could process it. His feet start to carry him towards her and before he even realizes he is running and when he finally reaches her he wraps her in his arms, twirling her around, making both of them laugh.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, still hugging her even when he has put her down.

“I am, you invited me!” she chuckles and they finally lean back enough to look at each other. 

“I know, but… you never replied, I didn’t think you’d come and… You are actually here,” he repeats.

“Sorry I didn’t reply, I wasn’t sure until the very last minute if I would come,” she admits nervously.

Harry’s invitation was all she could think about since the morning she got the email. It was more than unexpected, for a moment she even thought it was just some kind of prank, but it came from Harry's old email address, so she had to believe that it was genuine. She hesitated until probably a few days ago when she woke up one day and just knew that she had to be here tonight. 

“It’s okay,” he smiles at her softly, taking in her every feature. The girl he knew is still there, but she changed a lot, she looks so much more mature and her features have definitely gotten a lot more feminine. 

She looks gorgeous. 

Suddenly it all comes down on him clashing, all the questions, the feelings, he wants to know everything, but he fears they don’t have enough time.

“How long are you staying?” he then asks.

“I took a couple of days off, I’m staying for three more days.”

He sighs in relief. 

“Come on,” he smiles, his hand taking hers. “I want to know everything.”

“Everything?” she chuckles, ignoring the tingles wherever his hand is touching hers.

“Harry, don’t assault the poor girl! She almost didn’t come!” Gemma chimes in. Harry stops, his eyes snapping back and forth between Y/N and his sister.

“Wait, you knew she would be coming?” he asks Gemma, who is sipping on some champagne with a knowing smile. She shrugs.

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” he scoffs, hands on his hips. The sight makes Y/N laugh, because she can see his sixteen year-old self in the pose so vividly, it’s insane.

“You never asked,” Gemma says and walks away. Harry turns back to Y/N.

“She messaged me if I got your invitation,” she admits. 

“So you’re telling me, all I should have done is to send you a message and ask for confirmation?”

Y/N just chuckles, shrugging her shoulders innocently. Harry exhales as he shakes his head.

“Alright, now you truly have to tell me everything.”

2020

“Can you hear me?” Harry asks, as the FaceTime finally loads and Y/N’s pixelated face fills his phone’s screen. He leans back on his plush couch and he tries his best to ignore how fast his heart starts pounding in his chest when he hears her laugh.

“Yeah, I can hear you,” she answers and it seems like she just sat down somewhere too.

Struggling with the unstable connection they share how their day has been so far, though Harry has been up just for a few hours while Y/N’s is almost over. The time difference has been making it hard for them to keep in touch, but Harry has learned his lesson and he bends his schedule around these talks, because there’s no way he would waste even a moment he could spend talking to her.

ONO and the days that followed changed everything. It didn’t take long for Harry to realize that his boyish crush is still very much present and after seeing her it quickly evolved into something more mature. Seemingly, Y/N has been sharing these feelings, because it appears she enjoys spending time with Harry in any way possible just as much as he does. 

It took them quite some time to catch up and it feels like they still haven’t shared everything they missed in each other’s life in the past years, but they know they have all the time they need, even if the circumstances might not always be the best. They are both trying their best.

There’s a comfortable silence in their call where both of them are just staring at each other through the screen. The unsaid things have been hanging there between them, they know it’s more than just their old friendship rekindled, but saying the words out through a FaceTime call wouldn’t be right.

“I miss you,” Harry finds himself mumbling the words, kind of to himself, but she hears the words.

“I miss you too,” she replies, biting her lip as she adjusts the phone in her hands.

“Can I… Can I see you before I go on tour?”

“That’s like… in three weeks,” she chuckles.

“I know. But I want to see you.”

“I don’t know, I have a regular, mundane job, I’m not an international rockstar who can just travel whenever it’s convenient,” she reminds him jokingly.

“Okay, then let me visit you.”

“You’re way too busy to come here.”

“I’m never too busy for you.”

She gasps at his words, the pink clouds so thick around her mind it’s almost sickening. If only she could reach out and through the screen…

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and if you still think the same, we can… figure something out,” she smiles shyly. Harry knows he’ll feel the same tomorrow and the day after and forever. So he just smiles and nods.

They chat some more until Harry has to leave. Unwillingly, but they end the call and return to their separate lives.

Y/N stays on her couch, her phone still in her hands and Harry on her mind. Her TV is on, but it’s been muted, the screen is the only thing illuminating her in the dark room. With a tired sigh she reaches for the remote and turns the volume back on.

The news are on. She stands from the couch and starts cleaning up, not even listening to what they are talking about on the screen.

“... therefore COVID-19 has been officially declared a pandemic. WHO warns everyone to wear a mask in all public places, countries with a high number of cases are urgently discussing what other safety measures should…”

Y/N is questioning her sanity. She has been for the past week that was spent packing her suitcase, she took three covid tests in the last two days and now she is about to board a private jet at an airport that’s scarily empty. The last part shouldn’t be surprising, the whole world is under lockdown because of the pandemic, Y/N has spent her last month isolated in her apartment, right until one day Harry begged her to fly over to him.

“Y/N, please. I will settle everything, I’ll send a private jet for you, pay for it all, just please… please come here and be with me!”

There’s probably nothing she can deny from him. So here she is, escorted onto a private jet by an airport worker, they are both wearing their masks, just like everyone she has seen in the past week preparing for her travel.

Just as she settles in her seat on the jet, her phone buzzes from a text.

HARRY: Everything alright? Are you boarding already?

With a smile hidden under her mask she types her reply.

Y/N: On the plane, we’re taking off in 10.

HARRY: I can’t wait to see you.

Last time she traveled overseas was for a vacation years ago. She flew commercial then and it felt like hell, wedged between an obnoxious little boy and a middle aged woman who complained about everything. Now it’s just her and literally one single stewardess who is there to serve her. It’s a whole different experience for sure. 

Luckily, the journey feels a lot shorter when she’s comfortable, she can get up anytime and eat excellent food instead of some weird frozen meal on a plastic plate. By the time the jet touches down she feels rested and most importantly excited to see Harry again. It feels like forever when they had to say goodbye in december and in all honesty, it took them way longer to reunite, but it’s all because of the pandemic. It’s late april now, they were planning to meet about a month ago originally at the end of march before his tour was set to kick off. By now he was supposed to be on the road through Europe, but instead, he has been under lockdown just like the rest of the world.

She walks through LAX as if it was zombie land, it’s so eerily empty she is expecting zombies to round the corner any minute, but it never happens. She reaches the car waiting for her, the driver loads her begs to the trunk and then they are off to Harry’s place. 

It’s her first time at Harry’s LA home, and naturally it still baffles her to see where he’s gotten from his old life in Holmes Chapel, one that included her.

But his life includes her now as well, she reminds herself just as the car rolls up the long driveway. Getting out of the car she is about to grab her suitcases from the back of the car when the front door flies open and Harry sprints out. Literally.

He is running towards her with such speed, she almost gets knocked over when he finally reaches her and locks her in his arms, twirling around in the air.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, making her laugh.

“Were you not expecting me?” she teases him when he finally puts her down, but his arms remain around her.

“It’s just… I’m so happy to see you,” he smiles widely, taking her in. She hasn’t changed much since December, maybe her hair has gotten a little longer, but she looks the same.

However their feelings are nowhere near the same.

He thanks the driver and then grabs all her bags, urging her to come inside. Y/N wanders further into his home exploring it right away, already migrating towards the pool outside. Harry sets her luggage down in the hallway and walks after her, watching her stop by the sliding doors, admiring the enormous backyard. She turns around and catches him staring.

“What?” she asks, nervously laughing.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

2021

He’s nervous. There’s no use in denying, anyone could see it. But no one can blame him, it’s been so long since he last stood on a stage, he’s afraid he lost his groove, though the people who know him beg to differ. 

Washing his teeth in his fluffy robe he is eyeing his outfit for tonight that’s hanging in the corner. He knows his fans will love it, the color pink alone would make them go feral, but the sparkly vest with no top underneath will be surely like they won the jackpot. 

He spits and rinses his mouth just when there’s a soft knock on the door and just by the rhythm of it he knows who it is.

“Come in!” he calls out, wiping his mouth with a towel just when Y/N pokes her head inside, her body following a second later. 

“Hey,” she smiles shyly, taking him in for a second as he moves around the room.

“Told you, you don’t have to knock when you come in,” he chuckles.

“But, what if you’re… naked or something?”

He stops and stares back at her, giving her an ‘Are you kidding me?’ look that gets her all flustered in an instant so he decides to take it even further.

“Nothing you haven’t seen, baby. In fact, you can see it right now if you wanted to.” He starts untying his robe, but she stops him laughing and taking the opportunity of having her so close now he wraps her in his arms and kisses her.

It never gets old. The feeling he gets whenever he gets to kiss her, whether it’s a good morning kiss right after he wakes up, or a tired kiss at the end of the day, a needy kiss when he just wants her more than anything or a make-up kiss after a fight, which doesn’t happen often. He can count it on one hand how many times they got into an argument since they’ve become an item in April 2020, when Y/N spent most of the lockdown with Harry. Originally, she planned to stay only for a couple of weeks, but she didn’t return home until the start of June and she was back by July.

Now it’s September 2021, so it’s been almost one and a half years since then and they are still just as in love as they were during lockdown.

“You’re nervous,” she mumbles against his lips and it’s not a question. She knows him, all of his looks, his movements, she knows what he thinks about most of the time if not always, she can read him like a book.

Harry hums and just goes in for another kiss.

“You’ll be amazing, don’t worry,” she smiles at him, patting his chest as she pulls back. “And even if you make a mistake, the pink sparkles will distract everyone,” she jokes, nodding towards his outfit.

“You’ll be out there?”

“Of course. I’ll be the one screaming the loudest.”

“As loud as last night?” The cheeky grin that stretches across his face is proof that he is not that nervous if he can make dirty jokes.

“Shut up or I’m going home,” she laughs, poking a finger into his chest teasingly. He grabs her finger and pulls her back for another kiss.

“Nope, you’re stuck here. With me,” he smirks, lips coming over hers again.

2023

The bittersweet feeling has been lingering around the crew not just all day, but probably for a week now. Everyone knew that the end was coming and now that the final show is officially here, the emotions are overflowing. Everything they are doing, they are doing it for the last time on Love On Tour. It’s the last stage, the last sound check, last time Wet Leg takes the stage before Harry and it’s the last time Y/N is sitting in his dressing room, watching him put on his outfit of the night.

She can sense that he is different than he usually is before a show, he seems antsy and his eyebrows have been furrowed probably since lunch. Y/N watches him pace the floor back and forth in his sparkly outfit, nervously fixing the wire behind his neck even though it’s exactly in the same spot it usually is.

“Do you want me to help?” she asks and Harry stops in his tracks, as if he just realized what he’s been doing. His hands fall by his side as he exhales sharply.

“Sorry, just… fidgeting.”

Y/N stands from the couch and walking over she absentmindedly fixes his fringed vest, planting her palms onto his chest gently.

“It’s okay to be sad, H,” she reminds him. Harry tends to hide his big, sad feelings, because he feels like it would bother others. He is always so considerate about dealing with everyone else’s feelings, but this time his emotions should be in focus as well.

“I don’t want to be sad, that’s the thing. It was a great experience, sadness should not be a thing when I think of Love On Tour.”

“But that’s why it’s okay to be sad. Because this amazing experience is ending and it’s natural that you’re mourning it. It lasted, what? Like almost two years? And if we count in the planning, this tour has been part of your life since 2019. That was four years ago, no one expects you to just let go of it laughing.”

Harry nods, his arms snaking around her waist as he pulls her into his embrace, needing to feel her close in this overwhelming moment. She’s been his anchor, the person he could turn to no matter what during this insanely long tour, he’s convinced he couldn’t have done it all without her. 

Not even Harry can slow time down, so the moment to step onto the stage for the last time in this tour finally comes. Y/N stands with his family and friends at the side, holding Anne’s hands whenever an emotional song is played by him. He puts one thousand percent into it, just like every time on this tour and Y/N’s chest swells with pride when she realizes that it’s one hundred thousand people screaming at her lover.

Or fiancé, to be exact. 

When Harry sings Falling, to his fans’ surprise, she notices him looking for her in the crowd. The song is melancholic and it was written about a time he felt at his lowest, but to look in his eyes tells it all to Y/N.

He is not there anymore, because he has her. 

She’s twisting her diamond ring around her finger as tears dwell in her eyes while she sings along to the song, hoping that her expression tells him too, that she is happy to be the person who brought light into his life, because he did the same to her.

Then the time comes for Harry’s thank you speech and no eye is left dry after his words. Y/N has to swallow back her sobs when he turns to her and addresses his words straight to her.

“My love, thank you for everything, you were such a big part of this journey and I hope that our journey will continue forever.”

The fans are screaming, phones are pointed at her, recording her reaction as she just nods eagerly, one hand covering her wobbling lips. 

For his final piano piece Y/N moves backstage to watch him from there and be there when he walks off the stage for the very last time in the history of Love On Tour. She is standing there with the proudest and most emotional expression on her face when Harry jumps down the steps and he smashes into her arms right away, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She can feel his tears against her skin and she gently keeps combing her hand through his hair, giving him as much time to recover as he needs. 

When he finally lifts his head his eyes are glassy, but there’s a smile on his lips.

“You did amazing,” Y/N tells him, gently wiping his cheeks with her hands.

“And you did too,” he says and his words make her laugh.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You did the absolute most, Y/N. You gave me your love and support and I couldn’t have done it without those.”

Her heart melts as she pushes up to her tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You’ll forever have those. You’ll forever have me.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[hp-hcs]

violent stalker mattheo riddle.... each guy and girl readers ever spoken to? damn wdym they showed up beaten up the next day and they dont even know who did it ????

i feel like he'd also get violent with reader and ykw .... im so insane id let him beat me bloody .

"i'm doing this because you're not listening to me, sweetheart. how else am i supposed to show you that trying to leave me is what you shouldn't do?"

hey uh, future requesters: giving me a line of dialogue or smth to build around means i’ll finish your request WAY faster. tysm anon 😭

requests open

prometheus — yandere! insane! stalker! mattheo riddle x gn! reader

wow! there’s a fuck ton of really fucking dark violence, murder, torture, manipulation, abduction, and horrific domestic abuse in this! please be careful if you choose to read this!

1.5k words!

i jokingly took a sociopathy test with a couple of friends earlier today and i scored like really high so uh dunno how to feel about that

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Am I…am I in trouble or something, Professor…?”

Professor McGonagall’s lips thinned and she looked at you over the rim of her glasses. She folded her hands together neatly where they rested on her desk before speaking. “Not for now, no. Relax a bit, dear. The law states that you’re innocent until proven guilty.”

“That’s not- that doesn’t really make me less nervous.”

The professor opened her mouth to speak again when a chime alerted her to an incoming floo call.

With a wave of her wand, the flames flared green and a genial-looking man stepped out of the fireplace. He brushed soot off of his robes and grinned brightly as soon as he caught sight of the professor.

“Minerva! Lovely to see you again. I’m afraid Quincy isn’t going to make it. Corbett is sick, poor thing, so he’s staying home with him today,” the man gushed, evidently quite close with the professor.

“Oh, send them both my well wishes, Hez, dear. Anyway, this is the student you asked to see, Y/n L/n,” she motioned towards you.

The man gave you a cheery grin—far too cheerful for this early in the morning—and held out his hand for you to shake. “A pleasure to meet you, Mx. L/n. I’m Auror Hezekiah Ackerly. I’d just like to ask you a few questions if that’s alright?”

You dubiously shook his outstretched hand, a bit put off by his bright grin that never seemed to dim. “Sure.”

“Wonderful!” the Auror pulled the second office guest chair closer and sat down across from you. “Let’s get the easy questions out of the way. Do you have many friends? Or maybe a small, close-knit group of people you regularly hang out with?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. The fuck kind of question was this?

“Uh, I guess a close-knit group?”

Auror Ackerly summoned a notebook and quill, writing quickly. “Who belongs to this group?”

Seriously, this felt more like being at a psychiatrist’s office than being questioned by a government official.

“Er, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger? And sometimes Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood?”

Seriously, what was going on?

“And do you have any…romantic relationships? Any troubles or issues there?”

Your eyes narrow. “What’re you playing at?”

“Cormac McLaggen was found dead in the Forbidden Forest this morning,” Professor McGonagall cut to the chase, interrupting Auror Ackerly. “You were the last known person to have spoken to him, and several of your peers attest that they heard an argument break out between the two of you last night after dinner.”

Your eyebrows shot up and your jaw dropped. “Dead? Wh- how?”

“That’s what we at the Ministry would like to know,” Auror Ackerly interjected smoothly. “You’re not in trouble, Mx. L/n, but I am here to escort you to the Ministry for questioning.”

Your jaw dropped.

They thought you did this?

~~~

You sat at a table, alone in some room deep inside the Ministry building.

You huffed, folding yet another paper crane from the stack of sticky notes Ackerly had oh-so-thoughtfully left for you after your interrogation.

You set the finished bird on the table, the small pile of origami cranes you’ve made while waiting slowly getting larger.

Peeling off another sticky note, you started folding another when a nice-looking man in well-pressed robes entered the barren room and stopped in front of your table. He looked down at you with mild bafflement.

“L/n, I presume?”

“That’d be me,” you mumbled, adding your newest crane to the pile.

The man smiled gently before waving a hand over your paper birds and enchanting them to fly.

You tried to hide your awe as you look up at the cranes that floated and soared around the room.

The man smiled at your reaction. “It’s quite nice to finally meet you, Mx. L/n. You’ve been the topic of many a discussion today.”

“I’d imagine so, yes,” you said dryly. “Not many teenagers accused of murder coming through the department, huh?”

He grinned. “Not really, no.”

The man pulled out the other chair at the table, sitting down across from you and rifling through the thick manila folder he held.

“Are you here to interrogate me some more?” You asked suspiciously. “Ask Ackerly, man. I already told him everything I know.”

He laughed. “No, I’m not here to interrogate you. I’m your lawyer, Mx. L/n.”

You blink. “I don’t have a lawyer. My family can’t afford that.”

“You always have the right to an attorney, Mx. L/n,” he said kindly as he held out his hand to you. “Octavian Foxglove, Esquire.”

“Y/n L/n, but you already knew that,” you greet, shaking his hand.

He smiled again.

He was a very smiley man.

He laid out the manila folder and turned it around on the table so that you would be able to see it.

The first paper on top was a copy of your school records, with a bright red PRIMARY SUSPECT stamped over the top of your picture.

You grimaced.

Your lawyer nodded sympathetically. “There’s a photo underneath that page, by the way. Supposedly the last photo we have of McLaggen still alive and, uh…it’s not looking great for you, in all honesty.”

You moved your school records page aside, finding a standard moving photograph paperclipped to the inside of the file.

It showed, quite clearly, you speaking with Cormac McLaggen in a hallway. Picture-Cormac angrily threw his arms up in the air and silently yelled at picture-you, while your body language in the photo loudly screamed ‘furious & upset’.

He was right. It wasn’t a great look.

“And there’s only one thing I need you to- oh, where is it?” He dug through the inside pockets of his robes, procuring a pen. “Aha! The next page has a simple contract. I just need a signature stating that you either accept me as your public defender, or would like to request someone else from the Ministry to handle your case.”

You nod, flipping the page to the contract he indicated. Mr. Foxglove smiled again and held the pen out to you.

As soon as your fingers made contact with the pen, you vanished.

~~~

You stumbled blindly, almost falling to the floor before a hand caught your elbow and steadied you.

“Easy, careful.”

You whirled around, surprised to see a different man in Mr. Foxglove’s clothes. He held his hands up in a non-threatening manner.

“Woah- slow down, kid. You’re fine.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m- was your lawyer,” he shrugged and smiled. “Augustus Rookwood, at your service.”

It dawned on you. “It was a portkey,” you breathed. “The pen. It was a portkey, wasn’t it?”

“Clever kid,” he sounded impressed. “Now c’mon. The boss wants to see you.”

You followed the man without complaint; half out of curiosity, half out of the knowledge that Augustus Rookwood was an Azkaban escapee charged with at least forty counts of first degree murder.

Pretty simple choice.

It looked like you were in a wealthy aristocrat’s house. Er, mansion, more accurately. The hallway you were walking down was old and stuffy and dusty, and the overall aura of Dark magic that permeated the very air of the house sent shivers down your spine.

Rookwood led you down a flight of rickety stairs to the first floor, and then down a narrow hallway and into a study, where he left you without another word.

The study itself was old. Everything was coated in a thick layer of dust except for the pristine and polished bureau right in the center.

(Obviously, ‘the boss’ was sitting at this desk.)

((Villains tend to be predictable like that.))

However, you were surprised to see that ‘the boss’ was-

“Riddle?”

He looked up at the sound of your voice, a wide grin spreading across his face as he hurriedly got up from his desk.

“Y/n, darling, hello!” He gushed, practically skipping over towards you before pulling you into a very uncomfortable hug. “Sweetheart- oh, I’m so glad you’ve made it here safely! Rookwood really is my only competent assistant; I must be sure to give him a raise.”

You froze up at the unexpected hug, your arms remaining stiffly by your sides. He let go after a moment, but remained just a bit too close for comfort.

“Hopefully the Ministry didn’t give you too hard of a time,” he rubbed the back of his neck with a guilty grin. “I promise Ackerly’s a good man. When he’s, y’know, in control of his own body.”

Your eyes widen and you take a step back. “What?”

“Just a little Imperius, darling, no worries. Did you like your gift?”

You blinked, thrown off by his rapid changes in subjects. “Uh- gift?”

He smiled proudly. “McLaggen? He won’t bother you anymore, see?”

All the color drained from your face.

“You killed Cormac?”

He nods, grinning. “Uh-huh. I heard what McLaggen said to you last night in the hall, and I don’t like when other people look at what’s mine.”

“Yours?” You repeat, your lip curling in disgust. “You’d better not be referring to me.”

Mattheo paused, looking at you in confusion. “What else would I be talking about?”

You scoff in shock, shaking your head. “Yeah, nope, I’m out.”

You turned around without further preamble, marching out of the room and towards the front door that you’d passed earlier. Mattheo laughed and followed you out of the study at a leisurely pace, seemingly unworried.

“Where are you going to go, darling? As far as the general public is concerned, you’re on the run after brutally murdering a classmate. You’re Wanted with a capital W, sweetheart.”

“I’ll figure it out,” you snarled, storming towards the front door.

“Y/n…” He warned, drawing his wand and pointing it at you. “Get back here. Now.”

“Fuck off.” You spat over your shoulder, not sparing him another glance.

That was clearly not the thing to say. As if in slow motion, you heard a dreaded word fall from his lips.

“Crucio!”

You were struck with pain that was so overwhelming, so blinding, so agonizing, that you were sure you were going to die.

You were only half aware that you’d fallen to the floor at some point as wave after wave of unbearable pain crashed over you. You could feel your bones creaking and grinding together, your skin splitting apart only to knit itself back together just to be torn apart again, like you were some fucked up wixen version of fucking Prometheus.

You were only vaguely aware that you were speaking, pleading. Pleading not for the Unforgivable to be lifted, but for him to just end it, end you, entirely.

“K-kill me! Kill m-me…please!” You begged, blood trailing down from the corner of your mouth and smeared across your chin. You must’ve bit your tongue hard for it to bleed like that, and the sting from that wound while you speak is just too overwhelming when combined with the pain from the Cruciatus Curse.

Then all at once, it stops.

You gasp for air, your entire body trembling and numb as you lay sprawled across the floor like a marionette with its strings cut.

Mattheo kneeled down by your side and cupped your face in his hands with a kind of tender gentleness that felt deeply wrong coming from him.

“See, I’m doing this because you’re not listening to me, sweetheart. How else am I supposed to show you that trying to leave me is what you shouldn’t do?” He cooed softly, gently wiping the blood from your chin with the sleeve of his shirt.

You flinched back at his touch. Your body—still wracked with uncontrollable quivers and trembles—tried in vain to crawl away from him.

“Oh no, honey- hey, honey- I promise it’s all over, okay? You were so so good for me. But you see now that you’ve got to stay with me, right?”

Your jaw quivered and your still-stinging tongue felt thick in your mouth, yet you managed to spit vicious hatred towards him.

“G-go to hell.”

A flurry of emotions crossed his face: surprise, anger, guilt, and disappointment; all of which were topped by the underlying aura of pure sadistic glee that exuded from him.

“Oh? Do you need another lesson or two before you learn?” He sighed and shook his head patronizingly. “Very well then, darling. Crucio!”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[runnning-outof-time]

John & "Listen to yourself.”

Angst to fluff!

Thanks for sending this in, anon! I’m sorry it took me a bit to get to write it! I hope it’s along the lines of what you were thinking of! Also just try to imagine it’s (Y/N) instead of Esme in the gif - I felt that it fit the scene and couldnt help but use it! Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration - find more stories here!

But I Got Your Mind Off of It

John Shelby x Reader

Warnings: language, mention of a weapon

Word Count: 1111

Summary: John manages to talk (Y/N) off the ledge before she blows up the longest relationship she has over something so silly…which happens to be something she’s also done before.

The sound of the bang that the door closing made was even loud enough to make John Shelby jump. He scrambled from the table he was sitting at to get over to the concealed hole in the wall where a revolver was nestled. He was just about to access it when he noticed who had slammed the door.

“The fuck was that for, (Y/N)?” he asked his wife, his brows furrowing together in confusion.

(Y/N) didn’t hear him though. She was too busy pacing the floor while muttering unintelligible things. Something about someone being stupid and never wanting to see them again. John wracked his brain for a moment, trying to figure out if it was something that he’d done.

He decided to finally approach her when he came up empty. “What’s goin’ on with you, love?” he asked her, hoping that his voice was level enough so that she wouldn’t get set off…even more than she all already had been.

“I just can’t believe she did that to me,” she finally spoke clear enough for John to hear what she was saying.

“Who did what?” John still didn’t quite understand what was going on.

“Mary,” (Y/N) snapped, as if she was annoyed that John hadn’t come into the conversation with all of the details.

But that didn’t stop John from asking more questions. “What did Mary do?” was his next one.

“She stood me up. We had an entire evening planned and then she cancelled last minute!” she didn’t hesitate in sharing her frustrations, aggravation starkly present in her words.

John furrowed his eyebrows as he took a moment to figure out which way he should approach the situation. (Y/N) was not one to be messed with when she was hot about something, and he hadn’t seen her this worked up in a long time. But before he was able to do anything however, (Y/N) was turning to leave the shop.

“That’s it!” she proclaimed as she made for the door, “I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!” She then started angrily walking towards the door. Just as her left hand reached for the knob, her right was pulled backwards. She gasped as she was spun and within seconds, her back was pressed against the brick wall. Her eyes widened as she looked at her husband, who now had her pinned so that she couldn’t leave.

“You’re not going anywhere…not like this, at least,” he told her, speaking in a calm voice because he knew that if he raised it, all hell would break loose.

“Let me go, John,” she huffed, trying, and failing, to break from his grasp.

“Why did she cancel?” he asked, not giving into her wishes.

Lucky for him, (Y/N) was all for giving the details now. “She ditched me to spend time with her new man. We had this night planned for weeks just to have her call me earlier today saying that he’s asked her out for dinner. She’s ditching me for dinner!” She was fuming by the end of her explanation, all of her anger washing back in again. Who ditches their best friend of over 10 years to have dinner with a guy?? The thought of it was absurd!

John searched her eyes for a moment, waiting to see if she had anything else to add. When she stayed silent, he couldn’t help but break into stiffled laughter. This made (Y/N)’s brows furrow. “What the fuck are you laughing about, John?!” she asked incredulously, not sure if she was now more upset with her friend or her husband.

“Listen to yourself, (Y/N),” he began, surpressing his laughter so that a more serious air would fall over the conversation once more.

“What?” she snapped back at him.

“What Mary’s doing…” he started, shaking his head slightly as he snorted to himself, “you did the exact same thing to her when you started seeing me.”

“I did not!” she immediately proclaimed, shocked that he wasn’t taking her side on this matter.

“You absolutely did,” he stood firm with his point.

“Yeah? When?”

“One of the first dates I took you on. I brought you out for dinner, and you told me that you felt so bad for having to cancel your plans with your best friend.”

“Yeah, but…but I felt bad about it,” (Y/N) was quick to point out.

“You don’t think Mary feels bad about it?” John asked with raised eyebrows.

“At least I didn’t cancel the day of!” she pointed out another - what she at least thought was a - flaw in John’s argument.

“Well maybe unlike your amazingly considerate then-boyfriend, now-husband, her boyfriend doesn’t have the same regards to the possibility that Mary had other plans.”

“You’re so full of yourself, John,” (Y/N) snorted as a smile broke passed the deep frown she was wearing.

“Just stating the facts, love,” he winked at her, making her roll her eyes in response. “But I got your mind off of it, didn’t I?” he questioned then.

(Y/N) pursed her lips as she realized what he’d done. Then she silently cursed him and his ability to make her mood change on a dime. She waited a few moments before she, begrudgingly, replied: “you did.”

“Good. Mission accomplished,” he grinned, finally letting go of her hands so that he could settle both of his under her jaw. “Now what I’m hearing from you is…” he paused, licking his lips as his grin grew bigger, “that you’ve got the night free.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes again, trying so hard to keep up the act that she was angry. But it was so damn hard with him looking at her the way he was. “My night is free now,” she finally answered him.

“Which means you’re able to spend it with me?” he checked.

“You don’t have any duties to carry out at the Garrison?” she responded with a question of her own.

“None that are as important as me wife,” he grinned.

“You can be so cheesy sometimes.”

“But I got your mind off of what you were mad about, didn’t I?”

“Just take me out on the town…before I go and change my mind,” she dismissed his question, though the look on her face told him immediately that he was absolutely right.

“You don’t need to ask me twice,” he grinned before he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. “Let’s go,” he said after pulling away, reaching down to take her hand in his and lead her out of the betting shop.

**tagging in a reblog so the notification gets sent out!

MASTERLIST

[flamingo-writes]

What would you think if Hobie asks reader to cut the ends of his hair that bother him because of the mask and while she was doing it, she sang a nice song to him, meanwhile some little flowers began to bloom around them.

Really like the last post and this came to my mind immediately.

Listen, I’ve been daydreaming of this the entire day. I think this idea was very cute!

Also, little disclaimer: I was born and raised in Mexico, so, I’m very unfamiliar with how black people’s hair works. I know culturally it has a lot of importance, but other than that I knew very little of the different types of hair and ofc the insane variety of treatments and proper care as well as the different ways to give maintenance to different kinds of dreads. Also, as someone who has had very short hair for 2/3 of my life, as well as shaving my own head for the better part of the last 4 (5?) years, in general hair care and routines are something I’m wildly unfamiliar with, the longest I had my hair in the latest years was a 6 inch or so Mohawk I grew two years ago. Hobie has been a very good opportunity for me to educate myself a lot in hair (especially black people’s hair) and I spent a good portion of my evening watching videos/TikTok’s and reading on dreadlocks and their maintenance. If I wrote something inaccurate or wrong, please let me know, help me see my mistake, and I will fix it as soon as I can.

This came from this other request, I’m thinking of turning into a series.

Flower Bed — Hobie x Reader

Also, you said little flowers, but my brain decided to go for a full flower bed 😭 I hope you like this!

Warnings: none.

“Oí, luv…” Hobie said walking out of the bedroom, looking around you.

“Bathroom!” You shouted as he followed your voice, noticing the bathroom door opened and you kneeling by the shower.

Plants cramped in the shower as you watered them.

“Oh, never mind, you’re busy” He said.

“I’m almost done. I just need to water the ones in the kitchen sink and the monsteras…” You said as you’d todo up and stretched your back. “I’ll be done in ten minutes, what’s up?”

“I wanted to ask you if you could help me trim my hair, it’s starting to get long and gets stuck in the mask and, you know…” He asked softly. “But I can’t see the back of my head,”

“Sure, I’ll help you,” You said giving Hobie a kind smile.

He smiled back, walking up to you and kissing your forehead.

“Need help with the plants?”

“As you wish,” You replied happily. “You were asleep earlier and didn’t want to wake you, so I started watering them on my own…”

“I’m awake now,” He said. “I’ll water the monsteras,”

“Thank you, babe,” You purred.

By the time you were done with the plants, you went ahead and started helping Hobie out. You sat on the edge of your bed, as he sat on the floor. Since Hobie was tall, this was the most comfortable arrangement. It wasn’t also the first time you trimmed his wicks. He asked you to help him every few months.

As you put some soft music in the background, you got started, trimming dread by dread. Taking care to cut the hair while keeping the end of the dread rounded. Cutting just across each wick was already hard as they were thick, but you also wanted to keep them looking nice and rounded. Which was also a reason why Hobie asked you for help. You did a much better job at it than him.

Even when he didn’t admit it, or didn’t look like it, every single detail in his appearance was planned. Especially his hair. He liked taking care of it, and over all treated his hair like this very intimate thing, he hated having other people touching his hair. Except you. He actually loved it when you touched his hair, ran your hands through it, your fingers disappearing between the dreads. And the particular care and dedication which which you seemed to tend to every wick.

Deep in your concentration, watching over the little details, you were unconsciously singing. Something you also did quite a lot. When you were deeply focused on something, you’d start humming and eventually singing. Which only added to the relaxing time Hobie was having.

Between your gentle hands running through his hair, and now the soft sound of your voice singing in a low voice, going along with the music. Hobie lived for these little peaceful moments, making him feel absolutely contempt with his life. These little moments were everything to him.

As he had his eyes closed, focusing on every brought of your touch against him, he didn’t notice at first the plants growing around you.

It wasn’t plain on obvious. In fact, Hobie didn’t notice until he felt something tickling his elbows. He opened his eyes and saw flowers growing out of the floor, tiny plants growing buds and flowering. All in a matter of several seconds. And you continue to sing, concentrated. He blinked several times, wondering if you were aware of what you were doing, as he kept staring at the flowers growing and multiplying, coming out of the wooden floor tiles.

“Uh, luv?” Hobie asked in a low deep voice.

“Hm?” You hummed, answering Hobie’s question, sounding way too focused in your job as you were rounding one of the last wicks.

“Are you aware of the fact that you pretty much brought spring into our bedroom?”

“Huh?” You asked confused, breaking your hyper focus and looked around, noticing the flowers covering almost the entirety of your floor. White, red, lilac, and pink flowers, extending across your small bedroom. “Fuck,”

Hobie laughed softly.

“You didn’t notice?”

“N-no…” You whispered softly.

“That’s amazing…” Hobie sighed. “It’s beautiful, by the way…”

“The thing is I don’t know how to…un-grow them…And they’re a lot…” You said softly, the concern building in your voice, making Hobie chuckle. “What are we going to do with all of them?”

“We can always collect them and sell them or whatever, you know?” Hobie chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right…”

“In the meantime, we can always enjoy this beautiful scene, what do you say?”

“You’re way too calm for someone who has his bedroom full of flowers…”

“You made them. They’re beautiful. I don’t see the issue, basically a work of art,” He said looking at you over his shoulder, as you rolled your eyes playfully at him.

“Hobie, pollen give you allergies,”

“Sleeping on a flower bed one night isn’t going to kill me,” He pointed out. “Besides, ever since the spider thing, I get less allergies from flowers,” He said lifting a finger up, making you chuckle.

“Fine! You win this argument!” You chuckled.

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah, I love you too”

“That’s why I don’t mind the flowers. Because you made them,”

You leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Hobie’s cheek before you continued tending to the last two wicks.

“Thank you,” You said.

“For what?”

“Being you,” You sighed. “I’m not precisely fascinated with all the flowers in the bedroom, but the fact that you are, makes me feel better”

“Why, you’re welcome, sweet’eart. Thank you for helping me with my hair,” He said looking at you and giving you a cheeky smirk.

“Anytime,”

[agendabymooner]

colour me your colour || toto w. x ofc (4)

Summary:  Tilly Marie nearly loses faith in her passion as she refuses to listen to everyone who told her to quit. Everyone but one. And it’s the man she met years ago at a racing event she didn’t want to attend. Who would have thought that her father’s partial ownership of three brands could take her to the zone of Mercedes and meet the love of her life?

Chapter summary: Can you actually fall in love fast? or is Tilly just fortunate enough to catch Toto's attention and gain his respect and determination in span of a day? As of this point, she might as well host a slumber party as Daniel and Lewis continue to pester her with the most important topics of her life right now: her family and the hypothetical ones she'd make with Toto.

Content warning: Age gap, brief use of explicit language, discusses the 2014 austrian gp, flirtatious banter, mutual pining kind of romance, platonic relationship with Lewis Hamilton and Daniel Ricciardo, fictional family and business involved (Hearth family and Hearth Automotives Group). NO PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS INVOLVED SORRY

Note: Thank you all so much for the 50 followers! I honestly have been writing these just because I didn't have anything occupy my time and it's a good idea that I posted them up here. knowing that you're enjoying my brain's ideas, it fuels me even more into writing. As of this point I'm currently writing a spin-off for Rush and this series so keep an eye out, I suppose. I hope you all enjoyed today's race because I certainly did (Albon was way too fucking good this weekend, I shit you not). And I hope Alonso's 2nd place makes up for the Father's Day that I'll never get to spend with him. Enjoy xx

masterlist

iv. fast lane but not the race weekend kind

“Regards,

Tilly Marie F. Hearth…”

That should be okay, I tell myself silently as I put away my laptop. It’s only 6 pm, and I already wish to retire to my bed early. 

I can be doing a lot, but instead I’m moping inside my hotel room while I’m waiting for Lewis. Being on a paid vacation is nice; I don’t have to do anything and deal with people. But at the same time, I’m craving more tasks to occupy my time because truthfully, I do NOT want to be stuck in a hotel in Silverstone with nothing to do. I spent my early 20’s being away from people, but now I’m entering my early 30’s, I’m slowly thinking that I probably should’ve done more than attend festivals by myself or with my sisters.

None of the people I was around with earlier had looked my way until after they'd been told that I was working in communications and was a boss’ child. The staff from the other teams also did the same—but some of them knew who I was already and had already made themselves comfortable. Just how I wanted.

But then again, this is my first day. And Sunday would probably be my last considering that I’ll be back to my stuffy office the next week. 

I can take up the role as a consultant for communications. My father did offer me that role for Ferrari, Red Bull and McLaren—telling me that I can do so much more in Formula One than my no-good employers. 

Bunch of bullshit, I curse out. He wouldn’t let go of his legacy like that. 

I already told him about writing for magazines or simply writing in general, but he still placed these executive positions in front of me as if he knew I’d give in. Sad fact is that he actually is right; I’m close to giving up on my job. If The Devil Wears Prada didn’t warn me the first time, Lauren Weisberger should have at least taken both of my shoulders and shaken them. 

It didn’t hurt to think about balancing Formula One and journalism out. After all, it’s what I can do as a journalist—know enough about racing and engines and ensure that my knowledge is being shared through my writing and published works. 

I try my best to relax in my bed, lying flat on the mattress with my hands resting on my stomach. The silence is deafening and I can hear my steady breathing. My eyes are growing tired as they continue to look up at the ceiling of my room. 

For a moment, I debated whether or not I should come downstairs for dinner with Lewis. If there’s anything that I know about him, he takes his dear time to get ready—and I have an endless closet at home. That’s telling you a lot. 

A knock on my door makes me stand fast and rush to open it. Daniel Ricciardo stands there with a grin.

“Oh you,” I blurt out.

Displeased with my response, Daniel cries out, “I’m not terrible all the time, Tils.” 

“Sorry,” I shake my head as I correct myself, “I meant that I thought you were Lewis.”

“He phoned me and said we should head down instead of waiting for him,” he shrugs as he sticks his arm out and offers, “let’s go?” 

I nod and head to where my flats are, slipping them on with ease as I grab my keycard and wallet. 

Daniel only pulled his arm back when I wrapped my arm around it. We descend to the ground floor where the restaurant is located. 

A host takes us to a four table seat at a corner. Seeing familiar faces from the venue, I nod at them as a greeting before I find myself sitting across Daniel. 

Soon enough, Lewis arrives and we begin to talk about today’s events. Forty five minutes had passed, and we found ourselves conversing in front of our already empty plates. 

Daniel asks about my family and all I can tell him has something to do with my mother’s side of the family. I guess out of the wealthy people in my family, I can understand my mother’s connections to the automobile industry. My toxic trait is that I despise my father but love my mother.

The difference is that my mother loves us more than anything and cares for our half-sister more than he does. 

But it seems Daniel has focused on a different matter.

“Your mother is— you’re a Ford, Tils,” his eyes widen like an owl as his mouth gapes open. I can practically see a fly entering his mouth. 

“My mum is,” I laugh, looking at Lewis as he, too, laughs at Daniel’s shocked expression. 

“Mate, she’s a Ford,” Daniel reaches out to nudge at Lewis and gestures at me. “You carry that information around just like that?” 

“She’s not really putting it out there for everyone to know,” Lewis chuckles, sipping on his water as he puts it down. “Besides, if you were really into racing you probably have heard about her dad or mum’s family one way or another.”

“I don’t really go digging for information about old money families,” Daniel rolls his eyes as he looks at me again, “you don’t look like you’re happy to be here. For someone who came from families who are into cars.”

“My father insisted on having me work for his teams,” I tell him, “I’m not exactly the brightest for motorsport. I prefer the media more than what my father wishes me to pursue.”

“Have you raced before?” 

“I had a karting career at some point,” I shrug, “or at least I started at the age 4. Mum didn’t agree with it and I should’ve started at 7, but my father insisted. I was already competing by 7. My sisters were too, but some preferred equestrian over racing.”

“If my dad was a twat, I’d stop it just to spite him too,” Daniel says as I raise my brows at the statement. He then corrects himself, “What I mean is I’d pursue the karting career for me, not for him.”

“Gotcha.”

Lewis pipes up, “Blanche is a pretty decent woman. You should see her, mate.” He turns to look at me and asks, “Is she coming this weekend?” 

“With Aimee and Sylvie,” I nod in confirmation, “I’m not quite sure about Stevie yet but she wouldn’t want to miss out on your home race.” Not elaborating any further, I return to the topic, “My father is absolutely baffled when I quit karting but he can’t do much because Poppy, my mum’s dad, was still alive. So between him and Poppy, he chose not to interfere.” 

“But you’re still here on behalf of your father though,” Daniel points out.

“It’s to secure my position and family’s future,” I tell him with a sigh. I look at him then back at Lewis before I say, “Whether I like it or not, I still need to do my part regardless of how much I hate the surname. It’s an obligation that I can’t avoid but it’s alright. It’s not just for me— it’s for my sisters and my future children.” Wow, I’ve only been friends with Daniel for a month and I’m already airing out my dirty laundry to him. Is this what happens when your friends are your sisters and just Lewis?

“You’re taking your elder sister role way too seriously. You can’t even catch a break,” Daniel says incredulously. 

I can only nod as I agree; my mother’s capable enough of worrying about them and I should just be doing whatever I want. She cares for my sisters as much as I do but being cut off from my father’s side of the family isn’t something that I’d allow. 

It’s not as if my sisters don’t want to join me at the trackside; they want to keep an eye on one of each team in fact. They want to be able to know what kind of thing our father brags about. But much like me, they don’t want to be on the track itself—they’re better off being models because that's what they wanted to be. They’ll join me soon enough, they just need to make a career out of modelling and come to work for the driving teams whenever they’re ready. 

“They’ll be in a lot of magazines soon enough,” I shrug nonchalantly. “I’d like them to do that first unless they feel like carrying a headache coming from either Brown or Horner.”

“There are three of them,” Lewis chuckles, “if anything, those three would outnumber your team principals. With you alone I got scared, could you imagine Sylvie? She’s feisty.” 

“It’s not just to keep them sane,” I roll my eyes, my foot underneath the table kicking Lewis in the leg. The table shakes lightly. “I just started working in this kind of industry. What kind of a big sister would I be if I’m just as clueless? I need to know more, especially if I want to be able to teach my potential kids about it.”

Lewis, the piece of shit, decides that this is the right time to joke about it and say, “I didn’t know you’re already thinking about a future with my boss, Tilly.” 

I snap my head to Lewis’ direction too much that I’m thinking I just got a whiplash. My glare hardens when Danny and Lewis’ faces turn red from laughing too much. 

“You ought to quiet down, boys,” I hiss, not wanting to look at the people who are giving us the unnecessary attention being gathered by their laughter.

“You have to admit,” Lewis breathes deeply to refrain from laughing again, “you two got along well. Was it because of Dubai?” 

“I told you that in confidence,” reaching down in his thigh, I pinch it as he whines quietly. He slaps my hand away as I say, “You’re a shit secret keeper.”

“Wai— what about Dubai?” Daniel, clearly not understanding what’s going on, asks as he looks at me while he expects a context. 

I muttered to him, “Met Toto Wolff in 2006. Spoke to him and all that.” 

Lewis nearly cries in laughter as he speaks, “She told me about it years ago. She never knew his name–or she refused to tell me who. She said he was attractive alright but—ow, stop it, Tils.”

I pull myself away from Lewis and sit back straight on my seat as I claim, “He doesn’t remember nor think of me like that, Lew. He’s just a silly crush.” 

“Is he?” 

“He was,” I correct him even if I’m wrong. It’s like Toto Wolff got an on-and-off button in my life. One moment he’s there making me blush the next thing he’s already gone. 

“You’ve been single for as long as I know,” Lewis huffs out, “why don’t you try dating again anyways?”

“With your boss?” I raise a brow, “Are you that obtuse?”

“What? He isn’t bad,” Lewis shrugs, returning to his usual composure as he crosses his arms, “the opportunity’s right there. Why are you adamant on not taking it?”

“Because she doesn’t want to get on Christian’s bad side for fraternizing with the enemy,” Daniel jokes. 

“I’m gonna kill you, Daniel,” I threaten him emptily, making him giggle again. 

“I’m repeating what you said!” He cries out, still laughing as he laughs obnoxiously. Men! Seriously.

“He’s quite interested you know,” Lewis states, his arms now crossing as he leaned against his seat. “He’s playing 20 questions with me whenever you leave. I’m not sure if he’s interested in me winning or you.” 

“He’s not interested like that,” I insist, “I’m sure he means well because I just popped up all of the sudden today. Nobody likes to step on the wrong foot of a newcomer. You’ll just make an enemy.”

“Yeah, sure,” Daniel scoffs haughtily, “the guy who’s been asking Christian questions about you left and right— the same person who doesn’t like Christian— isn’t interested.” 

“I haven’t been in a relationship with anyone since 2004,” I scowl, trying to keep my voice quiet as I say, “What makes you think I’ll be able to have an interesting relationship with him?” 

“He isn’t subtle about wanting to spend time with you,” Lewis answers, “what did he say again? You’re welcome to be in our paddock anytime? Does that ring a bell?”

Of course I do, I almost huff out, it’s one of the things that I intend to do. Be able to spend enough time admiring his team…

“I know men,” Daniel adds, “and with the way of how he’s looking down at you during the interview? With the heart eyes making contact with another pair of heart eyes? Yeah, that man is in loooove~”

“Like it’s a fast lane.”

Now I can’t deny it. 

I like being around Toto Wolff, more than anything. Speaking to him is like a breath of fresh air after stepping out of a cigar lounge. He’s a gentleman; I’ve always wondered how he’s not married. Women deserve him. Yet he’s here, being the most eligible bachelor in the grid following Fernando Alonso. God, I will snatch him up if I can even meet his level. I doubt he likes his women like me… trashy trying to be classy.

But it turns out, my cynicism is unnecessary. I find myself thinking a lot about the things that could be. In an empty elevator, I wait as it slowly closes. But the call from outside forces me to keep the door open until the person catches up. 

The man makes it inside as he stands tall, trying to catch his breath. There’s no way in hell—

“Tilly,” oh my god. I’m seeing too much of him today. 

I turn to my left as I dumbly ask, “Bonjour, what floor?” 

Toto looks at me with confusion in his face, probably wondering if I’m playing stupid or just stupid in general as he looks past me and says, “You’ve got it.” 

Wow, not only am I seeing too much of him, I’m also on the same floor as him. 

I nod and look back at the front, I can see him through the reflection from the doors. His polo remains unbuttoned and his hair unruly after running his fingers through it. I can see traces of sweat dripping down his forehead. I probably shouldn’t do a physical examination on him.

I look at him and ask politely, “Have you had dinner yet?” It’s a polite thing to ask, right? Like I’m not coming off as desperate to speak to him?

“Ah,” he keeps his mouth shut for a second and answers, “it is something to take up in my room, unfortunately.”

“Is it?” I ask out of curiosity, “You could have joined others for dinner?” 

“Busy, as always,” he smiles sadly, “it’s an endless battle.”

“Quite a shame,” I tell him with a shake of my head. “Do people know time zones or just business hours or is it just something written on papers?” I ask no one in particular.

“My brain doesn’t shut off the moment 7 pm hits,” he tells me with a rueful smile. “It calls for work all the time. So, no. I don’t follow my own business hours policy.” God, I feel sorry for him. 

“It’s like a wire, Toto,” I nibble on my bottom lip, not knowing how to express my empathy without looking like an arse, “you can’t plug it back in if you’ve something to prevent it from happening. Like a baby proof.” 

“You’re right,” he laughs. “What do you suggest I should do? The baby proof, I mean.”

I watch him as the door slides open, thanking him as he gestures for me to walk out of the lift first. Then my mouth does not stop speaking, “Have a dinner away from your work, for instance. Never hurts to isolate your work once in a while,” he laughs at that, “read a book? I love reading novels— I am currently skimming through Das Parfum. You can even time your break before going back to work because I can assure you that habit isn't good.” 

“Do you understand the German language?” He asks me. Mentioning Das Parfum clearly piqued his curiosity. 

It was smart of me to bring it up. When he told me earlier that he came from Austria, I knew I could talk to him in so many languages. Like I knew what I should say next. Like a mastermind.

I'm such a fucking mastermind.

My mouth quirks up and I answer, “Wir haben schließlich viele deutsche fahrer.” We have a lot of German drivers, after all.

He nods at me like he listens to everything I tell him. As if he’s following an order or he’s rather impressed with my pronunciations. Nice. 

Our conversation leads us in front of my hotel room. 

I look at him and gestures to the door, “This is my bat lair.”

“Bat lair?” He chuckles.

“My little humble abode,” I joke. “I can unfortunately hear my bed calling for me. I have to go.” 

“Right,” he nods as I open my door and step inside my room. Telling myself to get my shit together, I turn around to see him still waiting for me to head in. That was a surprise. 

I suggest, “One way to turn your stressful work day around would be breakfast. If you’d like, you can have one with me tomorrow?” 

“Are you asking me on a breakfast date?” He teases, watching me fall apart with my face flushing red. He stops eventually and answers, “I would be more than happy to accompany you before we head out.” 

“Okay good,” I laugh nervously, “I’ve no one else with me anyways so there’s that… does seven sound okay?” 

“You can ask me for anything I think I’ll say yes, liebling,” boom. There goes my heart once more. He grins gleefully as he says, “I know a place nearby. Would you like me to pick you up tomorrow?” 

“As far as I know I’m the one who asked you first,” I roll my eyes in a joking manner, smile escaping my lips. 

“I’d love to have you pick me up but I know the place,” he tells me with a shrug. “Besides, it’s by the tracks. We can head down there together before they start piling up for the day.” 

Not wanting to fluster myself anymore, I nod almost eagerly and he exclaims, “I’m looking forward to it.” 

“Have a good night, bello. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, schatz. Sweet dreams.”

Oh I really am going to have the sweetest dreams ever. Trust me. 

[ask-the-critters-survival-au]

Static crawls out from the monitor... and reaches out not just to the three who carry it... but a certain pink child as well.

“I… normally make it a rule to wait to send another message until my last one was received… but I do not have patience to wait that long sadly. It is… Children, while this message is intended for all of you, this is to address Picky’s claim that and I quote here, “They. Were never. My friends. Not DogDay. Not Hoppy. Not Bobby, not Crafty, NONE OF THEM. They made that clear when they all left me behind.”... I apologize for recording your voice without permission, child, it was the only way I could think of to get around the others not being able to hear you. As for your statement itself… Well let’s break it down shall we?”

“Dogday- I have already covered where he is. Being tortured without his lower half being hanged off of a wall while surrounded by little critters that have proven themselves to be quite capable of crawling inside of Dogday and puppering his still breathing body around while nibbling at his insides. I didn’t wish to share that final detail, but you're starting to force my hand. He is currently WORSE OFF then if he would have been running away and abandoning you all. With how you talk about him… shouldn’t you be happy Catnap is doing such a thing to him?”

“Hoppy… well of course not now you're trying to eat her. But never your friend? Never? You could have said no longer my friend but instead something as strong as never? Child… that kind of line comes from someone who values that friendship greatly and from a perceived betrayal hard commits the other way. I do not know why Hoppy chose to leave you other than the very valid- and you must agree this is a valid reason, “Catnap is a Psychopath”. And then there's another question… once you took Hoppy’s foot you didn’t chase her. You let her go instead of even trying to stop her… You only started hunting her when you had the bond forged by my deals… but why didn’t you try beforehand? Your care for her twisted into a reason of “Food for later” or “I’m already eating”... instead of chasing the bigger meal?”

“Bobby… again I don’t wish to speak for her when she’s listening to this but… I can put two and two together Picky. Do you know about Crafty’s hands child? Recently through another random memory share (Yes that is happening and I have no idea why children I am sorry for that), the memory of Crafty bothering Catnap aggressively for more red paint to draw with before Catnap pins her, which was honestly valid, and then rips off her hands, which was just really fucked up. Can you not tell me that Bobby would not take Crafty away from Catnap who disabled her? To keep her safe from that?”

“As much as you claim that the others left you behind, does this not paint a different picture? Does this not say something else child? Then let’s go further with those who do stay by you.”

“Bubba is insane and needs very real help he cannot get because the prototype does not allow you all to leave. Depending on how far he’s degraded… does he really have a rational choice to leave you? If he left it wouldn't be because he truly wanted to but some insane whim.”

“Kickin is… a can of worms we haven’t even begun to get at. We haven’t seen him enough to make any guesses as to why he stays. Could be fear… or his care being stronger than fear. I will point out that I do find it incredibly strange he isn’t dead. You said earlier that the only reason Catnap didn’t fully kill Kickin, only horribly mutilated him for going into the playhouse, was because he was still useful… How? Objectively how does Kickin have value- how does Bubba have value and use? Both of them are from what we have seen potentially more problems than their worth and two more mouths to feed.”

“Why do you keep them alive, and why does Catnap keep them alive? Catnap is… complicated. He joined in on the hour… which was justified if not too overboard with killing the innocents and especially killing the kids, either by actually harming them or dooming them to die of starvation down here. Failed to kill Leith Pierre and probably a few of the people behind the experiments, that sucks. Then helped the prototype keep you all trapped down here! Helped keep you all starving! Helped keep you all in torment even while he for some reason doesn’t have the heart to kill anyone!”

“It’s not black and white Picky. The situation is complicated. The emotions are complicated. And that and the following goes to the other three listening to this as well. It’s okay if your feelings are confused. It’s okay to both love and hate someone at the same time. It’s okay to feel betrayed even after all of that was explained. It’s okay to be paranoid about being hurt again, especially in this situation… but please don’t ignore this. Don’t just hide that with rage and lies.”

“Picky… I hate to say this with the others listening but… if you're really going to commit to this, commit to murdering them… do it for the real emotions you have. Don’t lie and make excuses. Be real with yourself at least okay? Even if you hate feeling that way… even if you’re scared to feel that way… those emotions are valid, and hating feeling those emotions are valid.”

“Make the choice you want to make with no regrets, child. Disregard food, because I can make that no issue. Disregard Catnap, for he deserves nothing from you. Disregard the current hunt and petty reasons that don't truly matter.”

“Do you want this child? To permanently lose those three bonds that maybe someday could be mended anew… by your own hands?”

“Until next time children… please all of you, be safe.”

(Breaking one of my rules for this but that last answer made me have FEELINGS I needed to share. Hope your having a great day Mod! Remember the hydrate!)

SHUT UP! shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!

Um…Are you going through something?

I don’t get it. We never left her behind. We told her she could come but she said no. I mean…that’s what Hoppy told us.

Haha…yeah.

[Mod note: Thank you for reminding me! I tend to forget drinking water is a thing I need to do to survive 😅]

[warden-melli]

Not pokemon related but fuck these last few years have been tough. Been trying to distract myself all night but I think I need to vent for a sec

Trigger warning after the cut

I don’t want to get into details, but my uncle killed himself this morning. I knew something was wrong straight away when my mother randomly turned up with that look on her face. My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia last year, and my grandfather is in kidney failure, so at first I thought something bad and happened to them, but no. It was my uncle.

I spent a lot of today with my dad. My uncle was his little brother, and quite frankly as sad as I am for what happened to my uncle, I’m most worried about my dad right now. Not only did he lose both his father and older sister within the last year or so, but he’s been in pretty poor health himself. He was involved in an accident at work earlier this year involving a chainsaw, and honestly he’s lucky to be alive. PPE did it’s job, but even so he still ended up losing a tooth, and he’s had to have dental/implant surgeries to repair the damage. The last few weeks he’s also been extremely ill having caught Ross River fever from a job site. I have never seen him this sick in my entire life, and it has been extremely distressing seeing him in so much pain. He’s recovering from being sick, but he’s had an absolutely terrible run of luck, and that’s not even all of it. His best friend/brother in law has lung cancer, his sister just had a heart attack after contracting covid, and another of his sisters was just in a major car accident (he’s one of 10 kids btw). Also his pet budgie died last week. I feel horrible for him and I wish I could do something to make it better.

The last few weeks have been really tough. I broke my wisdom tooth, and because I am really bad at telling if/where I’m in pain I kinda tried to live with an exposed nerve for a few weeks before realising that it was serious. I knew something was wrong, but I have tmjd so I just kinda thought it was a chronic pain flare up at first. Like a really bad one, but I tried to ignore it. I had the back of my knee tattooed while dealing with a cracked wisdom tooth oof. After I figured out it wasn’t going to go away I eventually went to the dentist and had it extracted, but that was really hard for me to deal with. I was happy that the sharp pain had gone, but my jaw has been extremely sore since, and I really struggled sensory wise during the healing period. Then I broke my guitar and my fridge broke, so that’s over $1000 on top of the dental bills -_-

Idk life feels really hard lately. Haven’t been able to draw much, and have just been feeling flat in general. And now my uncle has passed and I just feel terrible. I’ll be okay. My sister is due to have a baby within weeks, and I’ve got some good concerts to look forward to, so it’s not all bad. One of my little sisters has been a twenty one pilots fan since she was literally an infant, and she’s finally old enough to see them live and I was able to get her really good tickets. She’s autistic too and has been working on her outfit and making stickers, and every time I see her that’s all she can talk about. I’m so happy for her and that I get to take her. There is good stuff, and good people and as silly as it sounds Melli/Pokemon really helps. He’s so so special to me. I’m glad I have him to focus on

I just needed to get stuff off of my chest, so if you’ve made it this far thanks for listening. Even if no one reads this just typing it out made me feel a bit better. May be a bit less active for a while, might be way more active. Idk how my brain wants to handle this lol

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

Good morning

I haven't gotten the chalice of the gods yet and it's so upsetting

I didn't bother preordering and now I regret all decisions

Anyway, I'm sick of talking

I'm just inviting you to vent or talk about a hyperfixation or something today. No question required.

Have a lovely day

hello

I’m gonna ask for it for my birthday

You can’t go back in time, so might as well go and get it

I would’ve answered this earlier but I don’t know time management and had to speed through my routine to get to work & I didn’t have a free hand to type and then work things happening and now I want to quit

okay so last year I made mum watch stranger things and watching season 4 she was like “hey Eddie is like Damian Echols” and then made me read his autobiography and I got really hyper fixated on his case (The West Memphis Three) and had no one except my mother to talk about it to so you’ve just opened a can of worms you would’ve wished you didn’t.

okay so the basics of the case are this; in the 80’s and 90’s in America specifically, there was the “Satanic Panic” Where basically they were all convinced that there were devil worshippers and anyone different or weird (alternative, quiet, ect) worshipped Satan.

in 1993 three boys (8 years of age) go missing. Not even a full 24 hours later they’re found in a drain, naked and hog tied by their own shoe laces. One of the boys (Christopher Byers) has even been partially castrated. It’s believed they were killed for a sacrifice to Satan

At the time, they were missing a lot of evidence and lacked suspects. Enter stage right, Damian Echols. He’s the town weirdo. Listens to heavy metal, wearing alternative clothing, has two friends.

Damian had been in trouble with the chief of police before (who didn’t like him cause he was different in a very religious town) and was in a grippy socks holiday a couple months before the murders took place.

basically the police pegged it on him, his friend and a guy with a really low IQ they knew they could manipulate. To try and intimidate them into confessions, they held each boy (17,17 and 18) in an interrogation room for hours on end with no food water or toilet breaks. (Illegal)

finally, they managed to manipulate the low IQ (Jessie Misskelly if I remember correctly) into confessing ON TAPE and selling out the other two boys. Damian and Charles (Damian’s friend) continued to deny it, but both were poor and could afford lawyers so their provided lawyers were shit (also illegal)

despite having no evidence against any of them, except a confused confession, the three boys were put into prison

Fast forward to the 2000’s, more and more people are starting to believe Damian’s story, and are trying to help get the three out of jail. The only way unfortunately was for them all to SIGN CONFESSIONS admitting to a crime none of them took part in.

they were let out on parole.

in 2007, the guys lawyers found out about evidence pointing to the actual killer that had been hidden by the police department in an effort to frame them. Because of the time, they didn’t have the technology to actually do anything about it anyway

2019 (I think) the police department managed to destroy a lot of the evidence that would’ve freed the guys permanently.

it’s 2023 and Damian is still trying to fight to have his record wiped of the murders

The lesson here; America’s law system is fucked and so is the country in general

(I missed some details to try and make it shorter)

[spaceman-earthgirl]

Hello, lovely, Jess! If you're open to a prompt, could you maybe do one with Lena texting Alex letting her know she'd be out of town, and Alex lets her know she's with Kara and Lena asks how's she doing and Alex tells her. Lena changes her plans (it could go either way with her postponing her trip or calling Kara up and inviting her to come along since they both could use each other's company with everything that's happened plus Kara leaning in and all that they have some things to talk about).

Based loosely on this prompt but also what I wanted to happen at the end of the episode.

---

Kara’s page is still blank, besides the title blinking back at her. She’d told Alex she knew what she was going to write for her article, but words aren’t forming in her mind, it keeps slipping back, to that fear, to that cold, the only thing keeping her grounded right now is Alex still pressed into her side.

So, she focuses on that instead, on her sister’s warmth, her steady heartbeat, the smell of her shampoo and the sound of each breath, reminding Kara that she’s still here, that she’s home.

Kara hears the message tone of Alex’s phone sound from her sister’s pocket, hears her sister shuffle slightly to get access to it. She wonders if it’s Kelly, wondering where her girlfriend is. She selfishly hopes it isn’t, hopes Alex doesn’t have to leave, hopes her sister will stay a bit longer. She’d meant what she said before, she doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

“Lena’s leaving.”

The words startle Kara. She knows, she’s been trying very hard not to think about it. She swallows. “I know, she called me earlier.” It had been a hard conversation, Kara almost asking her to stay as Lena told her she was leaving. But she hadn’t, she’d bit her tongue, held back her tears, and wished Lena good luck. She didn’t want to be selfish with Lena, she wanted her to be able to find the answers she was looking for, she deserves that much.

But that doesn’t mean she’s not upset that she’s leaving, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t wish Lena could’ve stayed here, with her.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alex asks, Kara not realising that tears are spilling from her eyes again until Alex wipes a hand across her cheek.

“I-“ The words get caught in her throat as Alex wraps her arms around her again. She presses her face into Alex’s shoulder, her breaths coming in gasps as she thinks more about Lena, how she’s going away, how she won’t be near, how she won’t be able to just listen for her heartbeat across the city or drop on her balcony to see her.

She wonders if she listens now, will she still be able to hear Lena’s heartbeat? Or has she already left.

She doesn’t test the idea, not sure how she’ll react if she can’t hear it now.

“I’ve got you, you’re home,” Alex says, whispering reassurances as she holds Kara, Kara’s breaths coming quicker at the words, turning to sobs because she is home, but Lena’s also her home, and she’s acutely aware that she’s missing.

Eventually, Kara’s breathing slows, as she focuses on Alex, on her warm hand on her back and the quiet words she’s still whispering. She wipes at her eyes, shifts so her head falls to Alex’s shoulder, not quite ready to let her go but also not wanting to look her in the eye yet either.

Alex moves again, not away, but she reaches for her phone once more. Kara wonders if she’s texting Kelly, to tell her she won’t be home tonight.

She asks just in case.

“Will you stay tonight?”

“Of course.” Alex squeezes her hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They sit like that for a while longer, Kara listening to Alex tell her stories of things she’d missed while she was away. Only the good things, Kara notices, but she likes that, likes to imagine that if she had never come back, they’d all be okay.

A knock at the door cuts Alex off mid sentence, both turning to glance at the door from their position still seated on the floor.

“I’ll get it, don’t worry, it’s probably just Kelly,” Alex says, pressing a kiss to the side of Kara’s head as she stands.

Kara doesn’t check, just turns back to her computer screen, the blank page almost taunting her now. Andrea is not going to be happy if she doesn’t write anything, but Kara finds right now, she doesn’t care.

“Lena?”

The name catches Kara’s attention, her eyes flashing quickly to where Alex is at the door, and there, standing in her doorway, is Lena.

Kara’s breath catches as Lena’s eyes meet hers, pressure building behind Kara’s eyes again. She tries to hold the sudden tears at bay and usually she wouldn’t listen to a conversation across the room, usually she’d let it just be a dull murmur, but not this time, this time she’s tuned in to every word, tuned into the quick heartbeat of the woman at the door.

“Can I see Kara?” Lena asks, her eyes still on Kara even though she’s talking to Alex.

“Of course, come in.”

Lena’s eyes never leave Kara’s as she crosses the room.

Kara thinks she might break under her look.

Lena only hesitates for a moment before she removes her shoes, taking the seat Alex had occupied only a moment ago, tucking her legs beneath her. She’s not touching Kara once she’s settled, but she’s close, close enough that Kara can feel her warmth beside her.

“Hi,” Kara swallows, fresh tears welling in her eyes despite her best efforts to keep them away. “What are you doing here?”

“Your sister texted,” Lena says, her voice low, the sound washing over Kara. “I wanted to come and see you before I left.”

Oh, so that’s who Alex must’ve been texting earlier.

Speaking of Alex, she can see her sister in her peripheral vision, lingering in the kitchen. She’s glad her sister is giving them some space.

“When do you leave?” Kara manages to ask as she reaches out, fingers brushing the hem of Lena’s jacket, just to make sure she’s actually here.

“Soon, the jet is waiting for me, whenever I’m ready.”

There’s a long pause after Lena’s words, her eyes still on Kara. It makes Kara want to retreat, want to hide, want to shut her eyes and hope Lena can’t see everything that’s going through Kara’s mind right now.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Kara eventually says, fighting back tears and the other words that rise in her throat, words that ask Lena to stay, or words that tell Lena how she feels. That’s not what Lena needs right now.

“Kara, I-“ Lena starts, stops herself as she looks away. When she looks back, there are tears in her eyes too. Kara reaches out when one spills, catches it with her thumb, wipes it from Lena’s cheek.

“Come here,” Kara says, tugging Lena forward and then they’re hugging, Kara needing the contact as much as Lena does, if the way the other woman leans into the embrace is any indication.

“Come with me,” Lena says, the words brushing against Kara’s neck as she says them. If Kara didn’t have superhearing, she might have missed them but she hears them loud and clear.

“What?” Kara asks anyway, pulling away to look at Lena, so close now in their half embrace.

“I want to find out more about my mother, I do, but that’s only part of the reason I was leaving.” Lena’s fingers tangle in the collar of Kara’s sweater. “I was leaving, or running is more of an apt description, I was running because it scared me, how much I felt, seeing you again. I was running to give myself some space to sort out my feelings, but then Alex texted and said you were upset and I couldn’t leave, I just couldn’t, not knowing you were upset. You mean too much to me and I was stupid to ever try to leave, not when the thought of being away from you again hurts so much.

“So, come with me, you deserve a break too. Or I’ll stay here, whatever you want.”

Kara’s crying now too as she leans forward, her forehead falling to rest against Lena’s. She takes a deep breath, feels like she can properly breathe for the first time since Lena told her she was leaving, knowing she’s not losing her.

“You’ll really stay, if I ask you too?” Kara asks, hands at the back of Lena’s neck, holding her close, hoping this isn’t some dream she’s about to wake up from.

“I will,” Lena says, the words brushing against Kara’s mouth as Lena tilts forward and then Kara doesn’t really think about it, she just acts, her chin tipping up slightly and then she’s kissing Lena, lips molding under hers as Lena kisses back, no hesitance in the touch.

It only lasts a few moments, before they’re pulling away, but it’s like Kara’s whole world has been flipped on its head, warmth spreading through her body, finally feeling warm after all those cold days and nights in the Phantom Zone.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Kara says, fingers tangling in the hair at Lena’s neck.

“You won’t,” Lena replies, and she sounds so sure, that Kara believes her.

“Can we stay here for a bit?” Kara asks, eyes finding Alex in the kitchen, who’s staring at them, wide-eyed. Clearly, she wasn’t the only one who didn’t see this coming. “I’m not ready to leave Alex yet.” She turns back to Lena, finds the other woman smiling at her. “But then later, in a few weeks, I’d really like to go away with you, help you find more out about your mother.”

“Of course,” Lena says. She tilts her head again, but this time to press a kiss to Kara’s forehead. “I’d really like that too.”

Her article gets abandoned, but Kara doesn’t care, not when she ends up on the couch, a movie playing on the TV screen that’s she’s barely paying attention to. Alex is on one side of her, head resting on Kara’s shoulder, snoring lightly, and on the other is Lena, their tangled hands resting in Lena’s lap as Lena plays with her fingers.

Kara never thought she’d feel this happy ever again but here she is, back with her sister and her best friend who isn’t just her best friend anymore.

[kass-storycorner]

Nighttime headcanon

Hey, this has been in my head for a few days and idk if this is in character but it needed to get out of my system so enjoy

Prompt/Idea: the character comes home late at night seeing you asleep in bed. this is just me imagining why they would be so late and how they would feel joining you so late in bed.

Genre: Fluff

Rating: SFW

Content Warnings: None

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Zhongli, Yoimiya

Format: Bullet points / HC

Albedo:

He has been so occupied with his research that he completely forgot the time. It wasn’t until he accidentally knocked a book off the table he was pulled out of his work trance. Looking at the clock he just let out a sigh. It was already so late now and he started to feel the tiredness in his body.

So he decided to stop it for today, after all his work isn’t up to his own quality standards when he’s too tired.

When he made it back home he saw the entire flat being filled in darkness, you must have went to bed already he thought.

He was right, when he stepped into your shared bedroom he saw you laying in bed, snuggled up in the blanket, a quiet snore coming from you.

At the look of you laying in bed, looking so peaceful - albedo couldn’t help himself and smile at the view.

He was very careful to make no noise when he was preparing himself for bed, changing his usually attire for a soft pyjama you gifted him some time ago.

Albedo never cared for when, where and how much he slept (or if he slept at all). Not until you stepped into his life and basically forced him to take sleep more seriously. A part of this was that he shouldn’t always fall asleep in whatever he was wearing that day. And with that it started that Albedos dresser got various new additions for sleeping attire.

He wouldn’t care about the clothes if it weren’t for the fact that all of them were gifts from you. Although he had to admit sleeping in clothes specifically for that purpose was better than what he used to do.

As he laid down besides you, you started to shift. At first Albedo was worried he woke you, however you just rolled around to now face the alchemist, still in a deep slumber.

He looked at your sleeping face, still being smitten by your quiet snores. He knew you were a bit insecure about your snoring, but albedo had assured you even if you were louder than Klees bombs, it would not disturb his sleep.

And that was true, it was never a distraction. However being able to watch you sleep was something that could distract Albedo easily from falling asleep himself.

Nonetheless Albedo couldn’t stop his heavy eyelids to fall down and just like that he joined you in your dreams.

Diluc:

when will Diluc finally go to bed before dawn?

probably never, if he's not helping Charles at the tavern for the night he runs around protecting Mondstadt from various threats that emerge at night.

So when Diluc finally made his way into the shared bedroom after a night with either Kaeya (he somehow never misses a night when Diluc is tending the bar) or criminals, fatui or hilichurls (sometimes even all of it), he is in desperate need of sleep and seeing you

He sees you in bed, being covered up by his and your own blanket - the view makes him sigh, you always tell him how cold the bed feels at night without him

Diluc can't help but feel the guilt tugging at his heart seeing you like this, you always ask him to go to bed with you or at least to come to bed earlier than usual... he never really listens and he's sorry about it

especially knowing that you freeze without him isn't a thought he enjoys

He quickly changes from his clothes into something more comfortable for the night and joins you in bed

Diluc has to be very careful not to wake you up when he takes the blanket from you

when you start to shift he stops moving, fearing that he woke you up

you don't wake up, but feeling the warm that radiates from Diluc in your sleep you shift closer to him, taking him in your arms

Diluc.exe has stopped working

he will never get used to how you always end up snuggling up to him in your sleep

not that he is against it, the opposite he loves it... however he fears that the beating of his heart will wake you

after getting used to you, the tiredness of Dilucs body catches up to him and he slowly starts to drift away to sleep too

the last thing Diluc has on his mind while falling asleep how he wishes that he could stay like this with you for forever

Zhongli:

He spend most of the day at the funeral parlor, it was planned for him to arrive home at the usual time - but oh well, he ran into the traveller who needed help with something and before Zhongli even noticed it it was the middle of the night and he was not beside you in bed yet

when he made his way back home to you he was surprised to find you in your pyjama asleep on the couch in the living room with a book in your hand

you both had a nighttime routine and it must have worried you a lot when he didnt arrive home when you expected it from him

how inconsiderate of him, he will have to make it up to you the next day

but first he needs to get you into bed, Zhongli can't possibly let you sleep on the couch

when he layed you down onto the shared bed and went to change his clothes he heard you call out to him in a sleepy voice

"zhongli?" he comes over to you, taking the blanket and covering you with it. "hush love, I'm home. I am sorry for worrying you" he says with a soft whisper

"mmmh, glad your home" and with that slurred reply you fell back into sleep

shortly after this Zhongli joins you in bed, taking you in his arms and closing his eyes

as the former geo-archon he doesn't need to sleep, but he learned that it can be quite enjoyable - especially with you at his side

Yoimiya:

Ah, Yoimiya totally forgot the time when she was working on the new fireworks for the summer festival

when she comes home to find you fast asleep in bed she feels a bit sad, so much happened today and she really was looking forward to tell you all about it - you both usually tell each other everything that happened the day before you go to bed, so Yoimiya is dissapointed that because she didn't keep track of time that she missed that routine of the both of you

however ... Yoimiya grew up with a deaf father, so although she tries to be as quite as possible while getting ready for bed she really isn't quite, causing you to wake up the moment she joins you in bed

"Yoimiya?", you ask, voice still filled with sleep

"Oh (Y/N), I'm sorry I woke you up"

Oh well, you're awake now and asking why she came so late and how her day was... you didn't get all of it, sleep still pulling you back from time to time, but the sound of Yoimiyas voice telling you about her day and all the new fireworks, it really makes you feel happy

Yoimiya notices how you switch from being half-awake to asleep until you finally fall asleep for good. With a smile she cuddles you, happy that she was able to share her day - though tomorrow at breakfast you will have to tell her everything about your own day

[h0neypjm]

Confident 02 | jjk

↳ Summary: After giving Jungkook the best suck of his life he’s left wondering if what you said was true. Was it really your first time? ‘Cause Jungkook thinks you might’ve lied.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, college au, fuckboy! jk, our fav cheeky virgin reader!

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 8.8k

↳ Warnings: swearing, mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of being pressured into sex, mentions of body image, mentions of stds, Jungkook being very confused, no smut in this part

↳ a/n: here it is !!! thank you for all the love for the first part, i hope you enjoy this part ! please feel free to leave any feedback <3 

↳ Series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

Previously...

“She said it's her first time.” He pauses, looking up at his friends' concerned faces. “I think she might’ve lied.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jungkook groans, cradling his head before banging it on the table. The utensils on the table rattle and clang, bringing unwanted attention to his mini breakdown. Taehyung is quick to place his hand under Jungkook's forehead just as he goes in for another blow. “Ok, Jungkook- Jungkook!” Jimin giggles beside him. “Fucking stop, people are staring.”

Jungkook pauses and subtly peeks out of his long bangs, checking to see that Taehyung’s words were indeed true. He breathes out and sits up in his chair, fixing his shirt to play off that he wasn’t just having a mental meltdown.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “soooo are you gonna talk now, cause’ I have a horrible headache and you’re really not helping.”

Jungkook nods opening his mouth to speak. “Alright so uh, I met a girl last night and-”

“I thought you went home?” Taehyung shoves Jimin’s shoulder and Jungkook glares, “yeah, well that clearly didn’t happen.” He rubs his temples, “could you do me a favour and let me speak first, and then you can ask the questions. Ok?”

The two boys nod, settling into their seats as Jungkook delves back into his story.

“Alright so anyways, I saw this girl and like, I haven’t ever seen her before? She was literally perfect”. He exhales looking at nothing at particular as he continues. “Gorgeous face, prettiest lips and oh! speaking of her lips, God the way she sucked-”

Despite what Jungkook said earlier, Taehyung feels the need to intervene. “Ok as much as I love a good suck myself, I need you to stop here, we don’t need the graphics.” Jimin nods in agreement even though it’s clear he’s not paying an ounce of attention. Jungkook smirks at the memory, but it soon drops as he remembers one tiny detail. He places his hands on the table, total seriousness etched onto his face. “But here’s the kicker, she said it was her first time.”

Confusion. 

“So did you or did you not take her virginity?”Jungkook crosses his arms. “No, after that she just up and left.” “Wait, fuck”, Jungkook suddenly realises, “I didn’t even make her cum”, he groans and Taehyung bursts into laughter. This finally garners Jimin’s attention, his dazed eyes squinting. “Who’s the girl?” Jungkook sighs, “if you were listening before you would’ve heard me say that I don’t know her.” Jimin leans forward,“well can you at least describe her? I pretty much know everyone who attended the party”

Jungkook doesn’t have to think that hard. “She was wearing this plaid skirt and like a white top-” Jimin’s eyes widen, “Holy shit, Y/N?! Man, Jin’s gonna kill you.” This makes Jungkook pause, thoughts running back to the text he had received from Jin. “Wait, they’re not a thing are they?” Jimin chokes, “God no, they’ve been family friends since like forever, Jin’s practically her protective older brother.”

That explained his text earlier. Jungkook furrows his brows, more questions beginning to arise and spill out of his mouth. “How come I’ve never met her and if she’s a virgin, then how- how did-”, Taehyung cuts in, “dude she’s done other things before.” More confusion. “And how would you know that?” Taehyung smirks, shrugging as he gets up out of his chair. “I'm gonna get a drink, Jimin, you want anything?” God, his head is spinning. “Sure, you know my usual.”

It was the way Taehyung spoke too casually, like your lifestyle choices were common knowledge. How the fuck hasn’t he met you, yet his friends seem to be well acquainted with your existence? “What the fuck was that look?” He focuses on Taehyung from where he orders his drinks. “Did you see it Jimin? Kinda sus.”

Jimin remains nonchalant, blowing a strand of hair out of his sight before answering one of Jungkook’s urgent queries. “Jin never introduced you to her because well…” He looks Jungkook up and down with an unimpressed look. “You would get your grimy hands on her immediately. And Then after that, It’s like she never existed ” Jungkook opens his mouth, rebuttal on the tip of his tongue. “Don’t argue with me boy, the second you met her, you already wanted her on your dick, did you not?”

Jungkook is shocked to say the least, jaw hanging open as Taehyung makes his way back to the table, drinks in hand. “Oh God, what did you tell him?” Jungkook slams his fist on the table, yet again grabbing the attention of people around them. “That is not true! I have standards, and what about you two. You guys are just as bad.” He points accusingly at the bruises peeking out of Taehyung’s loose shirt, “Look at Tae! Those hickies are probably a combination of the three girls he fucked last week!”

Jimin doesn’t want to get kicked out of the cafe, so he attempts to calm down a soon to be raging Jungkook. “Look, to put it nicely, you’re a heartbreaker, you lead girls on whereas Tae and I actually tell people we’re not interested in anything more than a hookup.”

Jungkook seems to understand where he’s coming from. He can admit, he does have quite the reputation if the amount of times he’s been slapped in the face says anything. But now, with this newfound information, he can also admit that you’ve certainly intrigued him, that was for sure.

Jungkook wants to see you again.

Not for a rump in the sheets, but rather a friendly conversation. 

It was just his luck that he had heard through the grapevine that you had been invited to one of Jin’s small pool party get togethers. If Jungkook was being honest, he’s quite excited to be within your vicinity again but he knows he needs to keep his cool. Especially after the series of death threats and slaps on the neck from Jin. He shudders at the memory.

And so, Jungkook prepares himself more than he usually does. He wants to do it right this time. No flirty teasing, just friendly innocent conversation. He makes sure to carefully pick out the right swim shorts that display the thickness of his thighs. Not for any sexual gain, more so to show off the hours spent at the gym in hopes that maybe he can get you to become more interested in him as he is to you. He sounds desperate, and he’s sure you’re not that materialistic, but he has this nagging want to impress you somehow. He huffs and does a few pushups, for extra measure of course.

He’s not sure as to why his brain decided to make him act this way. You’re more or less a stranger to him. However, when Jungkook begins his short journey to Jin’s house he really lets himself think, which usually isn't a good idea. 

Jungkook doesn’t know you, but you’ve definitely left an imprint in his mind which makes you all the more fascinating. It’s news to him that you seem to be very close to his small circle of friends which is probably thanks to your deeply rooted friendship with Jin. That new piece of information had been bugging him since the day he met up with Taehyung and Jimin. Surely his reputation couldn’t be the only reason why you’ve never met him. Right?

Parking his car in Jin’s enormous driveway, he makes his way up to the grand front door. Sometimes he wishes he could live a life like Jin. He grew up being fed with a silver spoon his whole life. Having everything paid for instead of rolling in the miseries of college student debt.

Once Jungkook makes his way into the large house, he sets down the drinks he had brought onto the kitchen counter and watches his best friends goof around and enjoy the summer sun with a warm grin. He chuckles quietly when Jin pushes Jimin and his perfectly styled hair into the pool. Jimin screams a slur of curses while Jin quickly runs beside a sleeping Yoongi for protection.

Slipping out of his loose oversized shirt, Jungkook scans the entirety of Jin’s backyard, looking for the face that has been haunting him since that fateful night. She’s not here. He reexamines the pool seeing nothing but the chaotic mess of his favourite people, and he sighs. Just as he prepares to step out into the blazing sun, the sound of his stomach growling stops him in his tracks. 

Thinking about you made him nervous. So nervous that his stomach couldn’t bear the thought of breakfast. However, after the realisation that you hadn’t arrived just yet, makes him do a full one eighty, long strides taking him to Jin’s expensive fridge.

His head is already deep into the fridge when he hears the sound of the sliding door opening, revealing a dripping Jin with a small scowl on his face. It seems Jimin finally got his revenge. “I’m starving you got any leftovers?” Jungkook queries, his head popping out from the cool air of the fridge.

Jin grabs a fresh towel and whacks it against Jungkook’s naked back. “What’s the point of even asking when you’re already going through my damn fridge!” Jungkook flashes Jin an innocent grin and glows when he discovers a small bowl of Chinese takeout. 

It very quickly dawns on Jungkook that in order to enjoy a nice warm meal, he would need to heat it up. His stomach all but roars, not used to the lack of food in its system and Jungkook wants to cry. He wants to cry and it's not from the angry hunger pains, but rather something extremely laughable. He has to use a fucking microwave. 

You’re running late, there’s sweat running down your brow and you feel like your arms will fall off any second. The weight of snacks and alcohol you had brought making you stagger as you finally enter Jin’s enormous home.

The one and only thing that’s on your mind is the refreshing feeling of slipping into Jin’s pool while sipping on an iced beverage. This motivates you enough to put all the strength left in your exhausted being to speedily walk into the kitchen and throw everything onto the counter. 

“AHH FUCK!” You flinch at the sudden scream, hugging your body protectively. Jungkook slowly pops out from behind the other side of the counter, his doe eyes big and wide. “You fucking scared me Jesus!” He exclaims, running a hand through sweaty bangs.

The air had escaped your lungs long before you could utter your next sentence as the sight before you has you freezing. There he was, Jeon Jungkook in all his glory. Tanned skin and taut muscle sculpted by the Gods. You didn’t mean to stare, but how could you not! Your eyes had a mind of their own. He’s glorious, every single part of him, and you’re not even afraid to admit it. Your eyes are quick to eat him up, tracing the art staining the whole of his right arm and you wonder what every swirl of ink means to him.

Jungkook coughs awkwardly, going in to scratch at his neck. You imagined he would tease you about your obvious ogling, but it never came. Strange. “Why were you hiding?” You ask, dropping your gaze from his body in order to arrange the snacks into neat piles, using it as an excuse to slowly step closer to him. “Oh! Uh-”, he scratches his head, looking down at his feet before jumping five feet into the air, a startled gasp leaving his lips when the timer of the microwave goes off. 

You burst into laughter and Jungkook flushes in embarrassment. Jin had told you about Jungkook’s embarrassing fear of microwaves but you never thought you would see it first hand. You hold in the laughs that tickle your throat and try to settle him down by lightly touching his shoulder. He flinches at your touch.

“Are you okay?” You’re really close to him now. Your chest is practically pressed up against his and Jungkook gulps. How was it possible that you could look even more stunning than the last time he saw you? Your cheeks are glowing from the soft golden rays of the afternoon sun and the way you look up at him, your soft smile curling makes his head spin.

“Yeah, I’m good”, he breaks eye contact in embarrassment. “Sorry, just uh, microwaves are scary you know?” You giggle up at him. Is this really Jungkook? The Jungkook you’ve seen flaunting a new girl every week just to abruptly break her heart when he can’t promise anything more than sex? 

You’re not complaining, he’s quite adorable like this.

You’re not too sure why his personality has the sudden switch up. It could possibly be the fact that he’s with his closest friends and doesn’t feel the need to put up his playboy persona. Although, the way he blushes when he looks at you plays a different story. Do you make him nervous? Surely not, if the memories of that heated night are anything to go by.

“So uh, are you gonna head into the pool?” His empty stomach is long forgotten as he gestures to the large backyard, you nod up at him excitedly. It’s then Jin decides to bust back into the kitchen, a stern gaze set on his face. “Y/N, can I speak with you for a minute?” Jungkook cautiously takes a step away from you, your bodies no longer close to each other and you notice this with a small frown.

“Yeah, sure”, you relent walking over to Jin who places a protective arm around your shoulders. Unknowingly to you, Jin traps Jungkook down with a hard stare and signals Jungkook to go outside, to which he accepts with a nod.

“I know what you’re gonna say, and no I do not see him like that”, you cross your arms defensively. Jin sighs, “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again.” He places his hands on your shoulders, full lecture mode on. “Let’s face it, you’re a hopeless romantic, I can’t trust that you won’t do something stupid, but you and Jungkook… You’re both important friends of mine and-” 

You’ve heard his overprotective brotherly speech plenty of times, “I know, and I’m so thankful that you’re looking out for me. I just don’t see the harm in befriending him, you’ve never let me speak to him before.” Jin releases his hold on your shoulders to fix the mess of his wet hair, “and there's a reason for that.”

Why was he so damn hard-headed. Jin loves Jungkook like he loves his family. It just didn't make any sense to you that Jin could approve of their friendship but when it comes to you, he completely shields you away from any interactions with the so called playboy. 

“When are you going to stop protecting me from boys?” Jin senses your frustration immediately. “I may be younger than you, but I’m also an adult just like you. An adult that can make her own choices.” You exhale slowly, “You’ve let me befriend your whole group and they’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, I don’t see the wrong in getting to know Jungkook.” 

Jin lets his guard down. You do have a point, maybe he was being a little too overprotective. He gives you a soft smile, you look away. 

“You’re right, I am in no position to dictate your decisions and who you choose to hang around with, it was wrong of me to treat you like that. Jin looks out into the pool, watching Jungkook tackle Taehyung. “I’m sorry I was a bit too harsh, Jungkook’s a good kid, he just got into the wrong crowd at first. Although, you gotta promise to tell me if he hurts you, cause he knows I’ll beat his ass.” 

You laugh accepting his apology, “are you sure about that? He’s a literal muscle pig.” You both begin to make your way outside and Jin shoves you slightly, “hey! You know I’m right.” Jin shakes his head and brings you into a comforting hug. “Yeah, yeah whatever.” He rolls his eyes, you beam up at him and together you walk out into the warm sunlight.

It hadn’t even been a second since you stepped outside, and already Yoongi’s long term girlfriend, Jieun is squealing your way. “Y/N! I’m so happy you're finally here, the amount of testosterone out here was starting to make me feel faint.” You giggle at her exasperated tone, pulling her into a tight hug. 

Nonchalantly you peel off your flowy sundress, it’s stickiness from your sweat making you cringe. “I missed you last week, why didn’t you come to class?” Jiuen pouts, “I'm sorry bub, I somehow caught a cold, but I trust you have some notes for me.” 

The way Jieun flutters her lashes at you innocently forces a roll from your eyes. Slathering sunscreen onto your arms, you reprimand her, “I swear you’re only using me for my notes, you literally never listen in class! Can you get my back please?”

She hums while you turn around, her small hands kneading sunscreen from your shoulder bones to the small dip in your back. Jieun continues to blabber on about the joys of life, not even checking if you’re listening to a single word she says. Instead your eyes are zeroed in on a certain someone.

Your staring is blatantly obvious but you don’t care. It’s only when Taehyung spots your burning gaze with a small smirk does he signal Jungkook to turn around to meet your flirty grin.  

Holy shit

The sun does a real great job of highlighting the gorgeous curves of your body adorned in quite possibly the smallest baby blue bikini he’s seen on a woman. Your breasts practically spill out of the tiny triangle cups and the pretty colour compliments your skin beautifully. 

Whilst Jungkook can admit you have one of the hottest bodies he’s seen in a while, his eyes surprisingly don't linger on your delicious curves for too long. Instead, he finds himself utterly enamoured by the way your eyes crinkle slightly when you smile prettily at him, your cheeks glowing with it. 

It suddenly dawns on him that you are the first girl that has truly enchanted him, and no, your ridiculously gorgeous body had little to do with it. 

Jungkook does not mind this change one bit. 

So, instead of staring at you like a gaping goldfish, he matches your flirtatious body language with a boyish grin and a small wave. His previous nerves dissipating only to be replaced by confidence and polished charm. He doesn’t want to scare you off with his sudden look of epiphany just yet, but the new unfamiliar feeling you give him is surely doing exactly that.

“My, my, Yoongi wasn’t lying.” Jieun stifles a giggle when she notices how Jungkook’s attention has steered towards you and only you. You’re quick to turn around, brows furrowed. “What are you on about?” 

“Oh you know… You and Jungkook”

You grimace, tired of the repeated topic of conversation. “Just because I sucked his dick once does not mean we're a thing” 

“Oh really? He’s asked me an awful lot of questions about you I was beginning to think otherwise”

“Wait, really?”

Jieun has the widest cheshire grin plastered on her face, it's starting to look quite unsettling.

“Really.”

You’re thoroughly shocked to say the least. You thought your fast, fleeting blowjob, sort of, was nothing special. A usual escapade to get his daily fill. Ordinary. Unmemorable.

However, it seems to be quite the opposite.

Jieun grabs your hand and swings it back and forth, exactly like a mother would do, although she’s merely two years older than you. “I know Jin’s been up your ass about Jungkook and frankly I don’t blame him he’s still a little shit from time to time but, he’s actually quite fun to be around and honestly I think his playboy tendencies seemed to dial down a bit since he met us.” The two of you giggle quietly amongst each other, quick feet making your way closer to the pool to avoid the scorching pavement.

Your toes are the first to dip into the pool and you practically moan at the cold water melting away the blistering haze that sticks onto your skin. The water is icy at your waist and you love it. “So my advice would be not to worry about him, instead it's his little army of plastic bimbos that you should watch out for.” 

“Ahh, internalised misogyny. We love to see it.” 

Jieun acknowledges you with a hum as the two of you float around the calming abyss. She then swims closer to you, nodding her head into the direction of a lonely Jungkook, who lazily stares at your alluring form. “I think your loverboy over there wants to talk to you.”

Jieun swims away before you can protest, leaving you to face the handsome man before you. His eyes are round and docile, yet his stare is tantalising, it pulls you in as if he’s slowly reeling you in with a rope. 

The water delicately ripples around your body when you approach him and you internally sigh in awe at the striking features of his stunning face. You want to use this opportunity to finally get to know him, and perhaps form a new friendship. 

You take note of the lack of Jin’s hawk-like eyes or for better the lack of any eyes on the two of you. You’re alone, huddled into one of the far corners of the pool, your conversation private, just for two pairs of ears. 

You open your mouth to speak, “So-”

“I-”

An uncomfortable silence stills the air and you both halt your words to giggle quietly amongst yourselves. God, this is awkward. 

“You go first”, You offer, tucking a wet strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook follows the subtle movement of your fingers before taking a deep breath. 

“I feel like we should discuss the elephant in the room”

You're stunned. “Huh?”

“You know… That Friday night?”

Of course you knew what he was referring too, yet you wondered why as you honestly didn’t think that night had much impact on the man. 

With a raised brow you ask, “What about it?”

“I’ve just had a lot of... thoughts”

You scratch your head feeling puzzled. You’re sure Jungkook has had better blowjobs in his lifetime. Hell, Jungkook did most of the work that night. “Do you usually discuss the past hookups you have, or am I just lucky today?”

You’re teasing him, nevertheless Jungkook tilts his head back towards the sky. All he wants is clarification, only this conversation is heading down an awkward path, so he decides to spit out what’s been bothering him for the past few days.

“Okay listen, I know this is odd to say, but ever since that night, It’s like I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your ego inflates at his statement and you smirk. You knew you could suck dick well, but according to Jungkook you seem to have quite the talent.

You smile proudly, “damn, look at me go, I can’t believe I have the campus playboy wrapped around my finger.”

Jungkook scoffs, both in annoyance and embarrassment because shit, he could have worded that differently, now he sounds like the clingy girls he fucks.

“Yeah, yeah let’s not pretend like I was the only one enjoying myself here. Weren’t you the one practically begging to be touched?” 

You’re amused. “Weren’t you the one who couldn’t make me cum. Yet came from their own handjob?”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and looks away. The way you speak so casually intimidates him. No girl has ever spoken to him this way, in fact, Jungkook’s the one who usually likes to tease. He can slowly feel the creeping heat alighting his cheeks and God does he hope you don’t notice.

You patiently wait for Jungkook’s reply, a sly grin adorned on your pretty face. However, Jungkook doesn’t say anything, rather he frowns and immaturely splashes water at your face. 

“Jungkook!” You sputter, wiping at your face to rid of the chlorine in your eyes. “What the fuck was that for?”

He shrugs, “sorry my hand must’ve slipped”

You don’t take that for an answer, your petty nature crawling out as you splash him back harder than he had done. “Hand slipped, my ass.”

You cross your arms smugly, a small laugh blossoming out of your mouth when Jungkook cutely rubs at his eyes. 

It’s after a minute when you realise Jungkook hasn’t stopped furiously rubbing his eyes. The circular motions of his hand move so intensely that it begins to look painful and irritating. “Fuck, it stings”, he exclaims in agony.

Shit, you inwardly curse, gently touching his wrist, concern lacing your features because you didn’t think getting chlorinated water in one's eye would sting that much. You analyse his facial expressions closely and you wince at the redness surrounding his eyes from his harsh rubbing. 

On the contrary, Jungkook knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s competitive and won’t back down from a fight, even if it’s just fun banter, so he continues his little scheme just for the fun of it and hides his small grin under his large hands.

You’re now slightly panicked, “fuck, Jungkook I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit the water that hard I-”

Jungkook cracks.

Ever so slowly, he peeps his eyes out at you and watches with a mischievous smirk as your face morphs from alarmed to annoyed in less than a millisecond.

You tighten your grip on his wrist and attempt to slap his hard chest with your free hand, however Jungkook’s reflexes are fast and he grasps your hand tightly, a teasing glint in his eye. 

“You little shit-”

All of a sudden a loud holler is heard from the front door, rousing a relaxed Jin out of his chair as he sprints while simultaneously yelling at the ruckus being made. It’s then a stampede of both familiar and unfamiliar faces come crashing in. Some jump straight into the pool to cool off from the blazing sun while others rush to the table of assorted alcohol, desperate to get an ounce of it in their system.

Word seemed to go around about Jin’s supposed small get-together unbelievably fast, causing the once tranquil Kim Seokjin into a raging volcano. 

You’re pressed right up against Jungkook’s solid chest and he surprisingly pays you no mind, even though your perky tits are deliciously pushed up perfectly against his body. Jungkook’s eyes are not settled on them, rather he pays close attention to the amount of people dangerously plunging into the pool at a fast rate.

Jungkook protectively hugs your shoulders to shield you from the rowdy party goers who definitely do not understand the definition of personal space. Your heart swells when he then delicately places your head in the crook of his neck and wraps an arm around your fairly exposed body, essentially guarding you from frantic wet limbs and ignorant individuals.

You feel comfortable and safe, so comfortable that you wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while if it weren’t for the throng of college students delving into the cooling water. 

Jin’s house begins to fill with unexpected guests very quickly and you wonder how Jin is handling the situation. You suppose not very well when you see him whipping people with towels, red ears making an appearance and his booming voice following him.

Jungkook wants to get out and he’s sure you feel the same way which is why he smoothly slots his hand into your own, long fingers wrapping around your hand to carefully pull you through the growing crowd of people in the pool.

Whilst pushing past a variety of college students you are met with many stares, even worse, numerous envious eyes and whispers of possible gossip. You try your best to avoid their gazes, the hard stares reminding you of the last time Jungkook held your hand to push through groups of people. 

Water drips down the curves of your body and lands in little pools around you when you step out of the pool. At this point you’ve garnered even more turning heads that examine every inch of your skin closely. Their stares itch your skin and you feel akin to an animal kept in a zoo enclosure, curious eyes breaking down your confidence, you want to hide. 

You usually like to pride yourself on your confidence because you know you’re hot and you know your worth. It had taken many failed relationships to build up your self love and nourish the scars and memories of questioning if you’re good enough. 

You fight on and squeeze Jungkook’s hand, mostly for some sort of reassurance. It shocks you when he astonishingly squeezes back and softly rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. It’s almost as if he knows how you’re feeling. 

You glance up at him shyly. Jungkook keeps his eyes straight ahead. He smiles a different kind of smile than the one he had directed to you a few hours ago. His lips are in a permanent smug smirk. His usual playboy smile. He flashes it at everyone as if he’s asking for their approval and even goes in to high-five a few people who are unrecognisable to you. You soon realise that this is what Jungkook thrives on. People, validation and his notorious reputation he’s created for himself.

Jungkook lights up at the presence of crowds, flirty smiles and people calling his name, whereas you want to crawl into your skin and run away because from the perspective of outsiders it looks like you’re just another one of Jungkook’s flings that will soon be forgotten by next week.

Well, you hope you won’t turn out to be one of them.

At last you find yourself away from the heart of the party, your dress in hand but your body still wet nonetheless. Jungkook is in the same state as yourself, droplets of water dribbling from his dark hair and onto the timber flooring. He leans into your ear, “I’ll go get us some towels, stay here.”

He’s gone before you can reply, making small conversation when he passes by various people, his boisterous laugh echoing down the halls. 

You’re alone now, and defenceless at that. There’s not many people you know here, besides the few odd people you share a class with and some sleazy frat boys that hold a similar reputation to Jungkook. You want to find Jieun so you can hug her or maybe ask her if she can take you home, but she is nowhere to be found.

Fuck, You remember leaving your bag on the kitchen table, unsupervised with many personal belongings stowed away inside. Using your dress to cover the most of your exposed skin like a blanket, you stride over to the kitchen and sigh in relief when you find your bag untouched and in perfect condition.

Snatching up your bag, you grab your phone and immediately text Jieun to find out where the fuck she’s hiding, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s probably fucking Yoongi somewhere. Traitor.

Jungkook finds you to be in a completely different part of the house than where he asked you, one towel wrapped around his neck and the other draped over his arm. You haven’t noticed him yet, your frantic fingers texting a treacherous Jieun, “princess, didn’t I tell you to stay put?”

You’re startled. Switching your phone off you stick your arm out, waiting for Jungkook to pass you the towel but he doesn't. Jungkook gently pushes your shoulders so that you turn away from him and carefully wraps the towel around your body like a cape. You hold the edges of the fabric to help him hug the towel around yourself, keeping it tighter to your body.

Your voice is quiet, “thank you.”

Jungkook leans down to meet your face, “What was that?”

Even though Jungkook had been in the pool longer than you, his cologne still sticks to his skin and you kind of want to breathe more of it in, but that would be weird.

“Oh, I said thank you.”

You’re close to him again, although this time he towers over you with a look almost identical to a predator meeting its prey.

Jungkook’s eyes flirt around your face and descend. He shamelessly drinks up the swell of your breasts and whatever skin is visible amidst the fluffy towel around you. It’s strange. You had noticed Jungkook doing the exact same thing when you were alone with him. The difference though was that his looks were cursory as if he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Now, It's like a new persona had taken over him and he was ready to pounce at any sign of a green light. 

He’s stuck in a trance, fuckboy tinted glasses fogging his vision.

You force out a giggle and playfully shove his shoulder, “my eyes are up here, you know.” 

His reply comes lighting fast, he’s definitely been in this position before. “I know, just admiring them.”

Jungkook wants to hit himself the second his reply spewed out of his mouth. He desperately wants to reassure your unimpressed (though also very cute) face, because goddammit he wanted to be respectful. Jungkook knows he has a tendency to slip into a new personality when the right amount of people hyped him. Call it being two faced, he knows it's one of his fatal flaws. 

“I'm sorry.” 

He says it genuinely. 

Jungkook only just got to properly meet you, he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression! He can admit, your first ever official meeting (moreso hookup) wasn’t ideal, yet the way Jin dragged him through the mud undoubtedly made him understand that you weren’t the type of woman that should ever undergo the treatment he puts his hookups through. Scratch that, any woman shouldn’t be treated the way Jungkook treats them.

You're now fully covered under the towel, not a sliver of skin on display. You don’t know if his apology was genuine. “It’s ok I guess, I expected nothing less from you anyways.”

“Right.” He’s messed up.

You clear your throat, “I’m gonna go get changed, maybe look for Jieun unless-”

Jungkook finishes your sentence, “-she’s fucking Yoongi.”

You exhale, “yeah.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

The voice makes you halt at its familiar tone. Jungkook doesn’t notice your growing panic as he too freezes in his spot. 

No, it can’t be.

The world plays in slow motion when he walks into your line of vision. His assertive stride, smug smile and sharp eyes.

Jeong Suho.

His name explodes inside of you like a blistering fire yet your heart feels ice cold. He is the very man you have spent weeks trying to avoid and even more trying to get out of your head.

The world plays at a normal speed when he approaches Jungkook. Their facial expressions are the same, the way they greet each other is the same. They’re practically the same breed of fuckboy, born from the same mother.

“Been awhile since I’ve seen you around.”

Jeong Suho was a person that Jungkook didn’t really mind, In fact there was a point in Jungkook’s life where he would’ve considered Suho to be one of his closest friends. They were two peas in a pod freshmen year of college. Never giving a fuck about their education and always present for any opportunity to get completely wasted with as many girls they could possibly seduce. Nowadays, Jungkook would rather keep his distance from him.

On the contrary, you were one of the many girls that had fallen deeply for Suho’s alluring charm. You fell so hard, you thought that maybe just maybe there was a possibility that you could secure a future with him. Obviously that was not the case.

You thank your lucky stars that Jungkook was there to distract Suho while you make your haste escape. All you need to do now is somehow locate an unoccupied bathroom, preferably without having to walk in on someone getting it on, and then you could get the hell out of there.

You must admit, you look quite ridiculous right now. Navy blue towel wrapped tightly around your body, your small head peeking through. You could probably pass as some form of E.T cosplay right now. You don’t care if you look rude, pushing and shoving whoever stands in your way. You only have one goal and you’re so so close to succeeding-

“Wait, Y/N! Is that you?”

Fuck.

Do you run? Maybe duck behind some poor innocent student looking for a good time? You huff, you're already sticking out like a sore thumb, there’s no use in trying to hide when the enemy has already spotted you. Even worse Jungkook motions you over with a wide gleaming smile. If only he knew how much you’re dreading this interaction.

Grudgingly, you walk over, looking like an irritated gremlin with your towel still firmly secured around you. Jungkook makes matters worse by pushing the towel off your head, releasing your scruffy ball of hair. You grimace. 

“I didn’t know you knew Y/N?”

Suho sends a smirk your way. You however, glower.

“Yeah we go way back, don’t we baby?”

You force a tight lipped smile, howbeit you look as if you have a mild case of constipation. 

“Sure.” It comes out rough through gritted teeth.

Suho notes your frustration, a sly grin carving onto his punchable face. He turns towards Jungkook, seemingly blocking you from their conversation, yet you know Suho wants you to hear what he has to say.

“You know it’s a shame. Y/N’s gorgeous, ten outta ten body, knows how to put it to good use, however she never let me fuck her. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

Jungkook stays silent for a minute, eyeing your shaking fists and angry eyebrows. Jungkook may be dumb, but he sure knows how to read a room, thus leading him to the conclusion that your relationship with Suho isn’t something you’re very fond of and that he should probably get you out of here.

“Uhhh no, that’s not weird at all actually. What I think is weird is the fact that you think you have this sick claim on every girl you’ve defiled and even worse, you’ve always had this strange need to chase after every virgin you see like some perverted cherry picker. Yeah, that’s weird.”

Suho laughs right in his face, spit grossly tickling his skin. “That’s rich coming from you Jeon, weren't you quite the cherry picker in your freshman days, no?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what he expected from this conversation. It definitely wasn’t this.

It's obvious that Jungkook isn’t a saint, he really fucking far from it. Although, one thing's for sure, it’s his absolute hatred for the way his brain was wired in his freshman year of college. Yes, Jungkook still remains as one of the standing campus fuckboys but he’s gained a few more brain cells since then. 

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort, only to be met with Suho’s back as he turns his attention towards you.

“Y/N, darling if I were you i’d make a run for it, ya know keep your chastity intact or whatever.” His smile is saccharine sweet, though his words are sickly sour.

The months of pent up anger stored within your being bubbles and overflows like a bad science experiment. You’ve quickly decided that now’s that time to expose the shitty excuse of a man, and quite frankly you don’t care that you have an audience. Actually, an audience would make this all the better.

Your finger is strong, pointing accusingly at his broad chest. “You know what you stupid motherfucker? Don’t waltz in here with that dumb smile of yours when you know you have some disgusting cheesy infection growing down there.”

Suho’s eyes widen slightly. It was no secret he was a walking STD, just about infecting every girl that was naive enough to sit on his dick. 

Everyone at the party has definitely stopped to listen to what you have to say. You even spot Jin from the corner of your eye sending you a proud smile. “And while we're on the topic of cheese, Learn how to wash your fucking dick!”

You don’t let him have a moment to speak, grabbing Jungkook’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

A few people applaud, some girls praise you on your way out. You give them no mind, you’ve had enough for tonight.   

Jungkook starts his car, no questions asked. It’s obvious to him that there’s bad blood between you and Suho. What you don’t know is that Jungkook can also relate. 

Technically there was no bad blood between them, moreso the hurtful memories and manipulation Suho put him through. To put it simply, Suho was probably the worst influence Jungkook could ever have as a vunerable freshman. 

The crunch of gravel and soft melodies that spill out of Jungkook’s radio converse with eachother and fill the defeaning silence that sits between you and Jungkook. 

Jungkook doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives. 

Every so often he checks up on you from the corner of his eye. Your knees stick tightly together and point away from him. Your fingers curl and uncurl, leaving cresent moons in your skin. And to finish it off, your face remains still, hostility completely washing over your features. If Jungkook didn’t know any better he would think you’d jump out of his car and make a run for it at the chance of him stopping the car.

It’s seven sniffles later when Jungkook decides he knows where he should take you.

The night sky is clear and the stars burn brightly to accompany the full round moon. It’s the perfect setting for release and maybe a screaming session if you’re up for it.

Jungkook makes a stop behind a forest of tall trees and a dirt path. You sit up immediately. 

“Where are we?” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, “I want to go home.”

Jungkook shuts the engine off, “you never told me where you live.”

“Well you never asked!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled because from the looks of it, Jungkook just wants to help you out and clearly you’re not being the friendliest right now. 

You curl back into yourself, “sorry”, another sniffle.

Jungkook brings your fists into his hands and warmly opens them up. You refuse to look at him, it doesn’t deter Jungkook one bit.

Tenderly he brings a finger under your chin, gradually bringing your eyes up to his. Jungkook takes his time with you, careful to not set you off until you’re face to face with his warm eyes. 

“I brought you here because it’s apparent we both need let out some pent up steam.” He drags his fingers delicately across the curve of your chin and back into his lap. His touch is fleeting, you miss it already. “I just thought you may want to vent or just shout out into the void, it’s up to you.” You nod, fully trusting Jungkook’s intentions. “And at any time you feel like going home just say the word and I’ll take you there, okay?” 

Your heart swells in adoration at his caring nature, though you can’t help but wonder how he can have such a sudden change in personality depending on where he is and who he’s with. It’s unnerving. 

Jungkook clicks his seatbelt off and heads out the car, “put your dress back on princess, I’ll be out here waiting for you.” You mutter your confirmation and do as he asks.

The cool summer air kisses your skin and runs through your hair as you step out of the car. Jungkook is already by your side dressed in an oversize hoodie with another in his hand as well as a fuzzy blanket. 

Jungkook steps closer to you, holding the hem of his hoodie to slip over your body. Without a second thought you raise your hands causing Jungkook to chuckle at how cute you look dwarfed in his clothes.

The same cologne you smelled on his skin earlier lingers on every fibre of fabric around you. His scent is everywhere, swirling around your head, instantly calming down your anxieties. You smile at him, “Lead the way Jungkook.”

Jungkook leads you up a small hill and you notice the trees opening up to display a lush field of grass. However, the sight before you leaves you in absolute wonder. You stand completely still and take it all in. 

The night sky is dark but the city below illuminates is beautifully. Your gaze bounces over all the buildings, skyscrapers and their dazzling bright lights. It’s peaceful up here, you decide as you take a glimpse of the hundreds of tall structures looking so tiny, so ant-like.

Jungkook is settled behind you, his legs comfortably folded underneath himself. He remembers what it was like the first time he saw the view, which is why he doesn’t blame your stunned silence and glazed eyes. 

“How did you find this place?”

You find your way towards Jungkook and plant yourself right beside him. “I don’t know, I was just driving aimlessly one night and found it, It’s nice right.”

You hum, “it’s beautiful.”

Jungkook murmurs in agreement as you lie down on the woolly blanket beneath you. The stars twinkle and glimmer amongst the deep blue sky, creating a serene experience. You shut your eyes.

“I hate him.”

Jungkook looks down at you, you don’t see him though. “Suho?”

“Yeah”, you exhale deeply, “I can’t believe I had to see him again.”

Although Jungkook knows you can’t see him, he swivels his body around to face you properly. “Did you guys date or something?”

You scoff, “pffft you know Suho doesn’t date anyone.” You open your eyes, meeting a pair of round docile ones. You continue, “Suho was the first guy who every gave me an ounce of attention. Before him guys never looked my way. Jungkook remains silent, letting you pour out what’s on your mind.

“Suho had me fooled, I thought I was special to him, thought he saw something in me that was different from the others. Turns out that was his game after all”

You speak so animatedly, your hands wave around in the air, your eyebrows scrunch when the memories come back to you. “It’s stupid really, how I used to gush to him about finding the one person in the universe that was created just for me. I guess he used this as my weak point.” 

Inhale, exhale. 

“He made me believe he was that special person for me, used it as an excuse to pressure me into sex.” A tear rolls down the side of your face, falling perfectly in a straight line. “I almost gave in, but something just felt so wrong. Every time I said no he would call me terrible names, tell me that no one would want me if I never gave them what they wanted. And I believed him.”

Another tear escapes your wet orbs, Jungkook is there to wipe it this time.

“I broke it off after I found out he fucked my roommate and gave her some disease.” You chuckle, “I guess I’m lucky I never let him fuck me huh?” 

Jungkook’s heart breaks at your saddened eyes and the way Suho treated you, he sweeps a stray hair out of you face. “I think you dodged a bullet there princess, what he did to you was pure evil, no one, and especially you don’t deserve that”

You sit up, wiping remaining tears and thanking him as you go, “It’s your turn now.” You pat his thigh, “tell me why Suho got you so riled up tonight.”

Jungkook shuffles in his spot, “It’s actually kind of similar to you.”

You gasp sarcastically, “no way he pressured you into sex too?”

He laughs, eyes squeezing shut, “No, no, nothing like that.”

You lean closer to Jungkook, giving him the same attention he had given you. “My father left when my mother found out she was pregnant with me, so growing up I had no male figure present in my life. My mother stopped at nothing to give me that to the point that almost every week I’d wake up and see a new man drinking out of my favourite mug. I didn’t mind it because I was only a child and some part of me always hoped they would stay, but they never did.”

“My mom was a hopeless romantic. She held so much sentimental and idealistic views on love that it stuck to me. She always told me that there was someone special out there just for me.” You smile at the similar belief, Jungkook sighs. 

“Cut to college, Suho was the first friend I made. I had no experience with girls whatsoever, and I still held on to my mother’s faith. Whenever I talked to Suho about it he would always shut me down or make fun of me.”

“He told me that all my feelings are bullshit, and that I only felt that way because I’ve never hooked up with anyone before. Next thing I knew we were going to parties every week getting absolutely shitfaced and fucking every girl I laid eyes on.”

You nod, listening intently. “And tonight, he hit a nerve. What he said made me realise that I’m just as bad as him. He moulded me into this person and now I have a reputation.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop, “he broke my concept of love before I even got to experience it.”

You never knew Jungkook was in a place like this. You always thought he was like Suho, built to break hearts and show no emotion when it came to love. Jungkook was nothing like that. His heart was truly big, desperately longing for someone.

Placing your hand on top of his own you comfort him as best as you can, “oh, Jungkook, trust me when I tell you this, the love in your heart is not broken. Think about it, most people you’ve met have been through college right?” He nods, “there are so many other people out there that you’ve never met, soon you’ll be able to find that someone and learn how to love. I know you present yourself as this emotionless playboy, but once you let that part of you go it’ll feel so freeing.”

Jungkook stares deeply into your eyes, he’s so thankful that he decided to bring you here, he can’t contain his happiness. 

“Can I like, hug you?” Jungkook asks shyly. You smile, and it’s so big and bright Jungkook might as well be staring at the sun. Before he knows it, you’re tackling him into the most wholesome hug he’s ever had. You’re warm and you smell like vanilla, It feels like home.

“Get up”, he says abruptly, extending his arm to pull up your confused self.

“What-”, Jungkook cuts you off, “have you ever just let yourself scream?”

Jungkook has intertwined your hands together, and your heart pounds at the realisation of how well they fit together. “Well, no but I assume that’s what we’re about to do right now.”

He pulls you closer to the edge of the small hill, the view of the city sparkles right in front of you. “On the count of three, one- two- three!”

You scream, you let it all out and God does it feel refreshing.

The two of you sound utterly insane, but none you give a single fuck. You scream until your lungs burn and your throat itches you to stop.

The volume of both of your voices ring out into the night sky only for the moon, stars and yourselves. The night is still young but Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way.

With you he lets go of everything, all the past mistakes, all the hurt because at this moment he feels like he could fly, soar into the clouds. 

He feels infinite.

Taglist <3 

@zibermuda @uskookie @jeonscandies @melaninkpops @apollukee @hollowtree10 @liliskies @madygswich @pjmochii @eggbutnotyolk @gyukult @yukiehyukie @purplepearl07 (couldn’t tag) @tae165 @youurkryptonite @94ser0da @french-myfries @zippytheshark37 (couldn’t tag) @we8joon @tearvantae​ @emrysts @inspinkyring​​

[winter-soldier-vibes]

You Aren’t Somebody? (Bucky x Reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count: 2647

Summary: Bucky knows that the reader has struggled with an eating disorder before, but thought they were doing better. Little does he know, they had just gotten better at hiding it. Until one night, he catches her doing something she had promised she had stopped

Warnings: eating disorder, purging, angst, fluff

Tags @abitgryffindorky @buckys2thicc @thatfangirl42 @buckfics @barnesplums @mardema @stucky-on-spiderman @thundering-barnes

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s finals week and I am running on energy drinks, reading fanfiction, and longgggg hot showers. But the semester is almost over, and then I have no obligations aside from my hobbies. I see the requests and I’m working on them I promise! I have a list of all the requests that I get, and I am working through them I PROMISE!!! Thank you all for all of your support.

A/N 2: This deals with heavy and dark themes of mental illness. The specific warnings are above. If you feel that in any way reading this will be harmful to your mental health and your journey, PLEASE skip it. I write from my own experience and I know what I would’ve wanted to hear in these situations, and writing/reading fics helps me feel comforted. This fic is based on one experience more specifically than most of my fics, so I apologize if it’s not exactly the same as your experience. This is what I would’ve wanted to hear. If you need or want someone to talk to, vent to, or get advice from, feel free to message me, really. I’m here! <3

------------------------------

Bucky was standing in front of you, blocking the door. His piercing blue eyes were locked on you, your own refusing to meet his. 

He wanted answers that you were not ready to give.

“Y/n, please. I just want to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Bucky.”

He looked you up and down. Your hair was in a messy bun, a few loose strands sticking to your tear stained cheeks. Your eyes were puffy, and your face was red, voice raspy. He took a deep breath. “You told me you would tell me if it was getting bad again.”

“You promised.”

You closed your eyes. He wasn’t wrong, you had promised. But that was because you never thought you’d see the day when you were purging again. You thought you had gotten over it. You really thought that this time you wouldn’t slip up.

------------------

You had been struggling with an eating disorder for a while. The cause, you weren’t quite sure. An innocent diet soon turned into a competition for yourself, but the end goal was never there. At first you had thought it was just about the weight and how you looked, but then you found that some of your behavior patterns were tied to your emotional ones. 

Stress was the major trigger, you had come to learn.

Whether it was a mission gone wrong, you getting injured, someone else getting injured, or even just basic social interactions you thought could’ve gone better, you found yourself inclined to comfort yourself with food. 

Until you panicked, which would lead you to the bathroom with music blaring and water running to cover up the noises of your retching. 

You hated it, and every time you told yourself it was the last time. But the more you did it, the more you felt the urge to do it. At first it was triggered by large stressors, but now smaller things could trigger you to want to throw up. You tried to keep it hidden, unaware of the true reasons for why you did it. You were able to help yourself sometimes, it wasn’t worth bringing anyone else into. 

You couldn’t explain it to yourself, so how were you supposed to explain it to anybody?

The best way that you had figured out how to describe it was that whenever you felt a negative emotion, you could soothe it in a physical way with food, especially with all the warm comfort foods that are known. But at the same time, that feeling lasted as long as you could taste, and you would feel guilty as you felt full. When you threw up, it felt like you were also throwing up the negative emotions. 

But when you said it out loud, it didn’t make sense. When people are sick and throwing up it’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. Inducing it hurts sometimes, but it’s almost not as bad. Like you know it’s coming, and you’re in control of what’s happening and you could stop at any point. And there had been times where you could soothe yourself in other ways, and you knew your own physical limits. You knew when you had to stop for your own health.

Until you couldn’t stop.

Which is what led to you fainting on a mission after purging too much. Your electrolytes had bottomed out and you almost had a heart attack at an age no one should. Bucky, your boyfriend who was on the mission with you, had put it together when the first words out of your mouth upon gaining consciousness were “Is this a glucose drip?” while tugging at the IV.

He hadn’t been mad, not exactly. He wasn’t mad at you but he was furious with himself for not noticing, and for making you feel as though you couldn’t tell him. You assured him that you did trust him, but he wished you had come to him before you could’ve gotten yourself, and those on the mission, seriously hurt or killed. 

Nonetheless, you still didn’t know how to talk about it.

“Can you try to tell me about it?” he asked gently, running a hand through your hair. He held you to his chest, you unable to meet his eyes.

“It won’t make any sense,” you had said, tears glazing your eyes.

“I want to understand. Can you help me understand?”

You paused for a moment. “It’s a long story and I don’t know where to start. There’s so much going wrong.” you had said, tears beginning to streak down your face.

“I have all the time for you. And it doesn’t have to make sense, these things rarely do. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to listen.”

And true to his word, he had. He had listened and held you while you tried to talk about what you could. He didn’t understand everything, he naturally had a ton of questions, but they weren’t for that moment. He had promised to help you the best that he could, and you had promised to try and tell him whenever you felt the urges get too strong. And if you couldn’t, to tell him after.

It was easier to talk to Bucky than anyone else. Not because he was your boyfriend, but because he seemed to understand you more than anyone else could. He had his own share of mental health struggles. Neither of you knew exactly what the other was going through, but you both understood that it was easy to feel alone and guilty even though you couldn’t control it. 

It was rough, but he was never mad. He was sometimes firm, and sometimes you had gotten angry with him. Only to later apologize to him with tears in your eyes. He was never mad with you. He understood that this was something internal. Upon research he had done and conversations he had had with Bruce, he understood that this had nothing to do with him. Some people thought eating disorders were about getting attention when it was one of the furthest things from the truth.

All he could do was love you and be there for you.

And to your surprise, talking about it did help.it took a long time, months, of long and hard conversations, panic attacks, slip ups, and really dark days. But it got to the point where Bucky felt that you were doing better, making an effort to tell you how proud he was and how much he loved you. 

And you were doing better, in a way. But you had been slipping up more recently, and you hadn’t told Bucky. You didn’t know how. After going the longest you’d ever had between slip ups, you found yourself retching over the toilet. You would have gone to Bucky but he had been away on a mission that was extended a few days. You couldn’t interrupt him because your feelings were too much to handle. People needed his help more than you did.

You were going to tell him, but he had been so tired when he had come back. He needed his time to relax, and it wasn’t the right time to tell him. And the next day when he was rested, you felt that it was irrelevant. Any negative feeling you had felt the day before had since past, and you didn’t see the point in bringing it up today. It would worry Bucky, he wouldn’t want to go on missions, and you weren’t going to do that to him. Besides, it was just one time.

Right?

You soon found yourself purging when Bucky wasn’t around. If he had gone out with Steve, if he was on a mission, or if he was down in the gym you found yourself taking more opportunities to give into your urges. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been, but you were spiraling. But at this point you had been slipping up so many times, you had been so secretive about it. 

It would kill Bucky inside to know that you were hiding this from him again. He would feel like you didn’t trust him. You trusted him with your life.

You just didn’t want to let him down. Not again, not when he had explicitly told you to come to him and you had been blatantly ignoring that.

You wanted to tell him, you did. But you couldn’t let him being so proud of you be based on a lie.

One day you were hunched over the toilet, legs sahking and tears streaming down your face from exertion. Bucky was away on a mission, so you didn’t even bother with the music or the water. What you hadn’t anticipated was him coming back hours earlier than he should’ve

The mission had gone much more smoothly than anticipated, which everyone was happy about. Bucky was glad he would get a few more hours with you. He had gone up to your shared room and let himself in, surprised to see you weren’t there. But then he heard you coughing from behind a closed bathroom door.

He felt like someone had punched him in the gut. You had been doing so well, what had happened?

He walked over to the door, knocking on it and calling out your name. He heard you muffle a small fuck before he knocked again.

“Y/n please, let me in.”

He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on, you on the other side washing your face. You could feel the tears from exertion be replaced by ones of shame and embarrassment, biting your lip slightly. What the fuck were you going to tell him? 

When you finally turned off the water, you rubbed your face with a towel, sighing heavily into it. When you took it away, you looked long and hard at the doorknob. 

Bucky sighed on the other side of the door. “Y/n please. I’m not mad. We’ve been here before, I just wanna talk to you.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking a breath before you made your expression nuetral and opened the door. 

Bucky’s eyes immediately saddened when he took you in. your face was still red and there were tears in your eyes. You had tried to put up a front, he could tell that too. Sometimes you got angry with him because you didn’t want to be vulnerable. He was prepared because like he said - he’d helped you before.

Before he could say anything you crossed your arms. “You’re home early,” you said coldly.

“Y/n.” 

“How’d the mission go? Well, I assume.” you tried to slip past Bucky but he was blocking the door. 

Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah, the mission went well.” He wanted to be gentle with you. “But how are you?”

You shrugged, trying to appear oblivious. “I’m fine,” voice wavering slightly as you looked away.

“Y/n please. You’re not fine. Can you tell me what happened?”

“The same thing that always happens” you said bitterly. “Something stupid comes up, I start feeling like shit about myself and I ignore it until I’m puking it up with everything else, alright? It’s the same story, different time, and now I have you looking at me all hurt just like I was worried about which is why I couldn’t tell you!” you exclaimed, eyes filled with anger and tears. Bucky looked at you as if you had just punched him in the face. He would’ve much preferred that you had.

“Y/n.”

You shook your head, trying to get through the door that he was blocking. “Bucky, just let me through the door, forget it.”

“Y/n just talk to me please, I -”

“JUST LET ME THROUGH THE GODDAMN DOOR.” You yelled, surprising Bucky. It had been a while since you had gotten this angry or defensive. But he stood his ground. Bucky was standing in front of you, blocking the door. His piercing blue eyes were locked on you, your own refusing to meet his. 

He wanted answers that you were not ready to give.

“Y/n, please. I just want to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Bucky,” you said, feeling tears threatening to spill over. 

He took a deep breath. “You told me you would tell me if it was getting bad again.”

You closed your eyes and felt a pang in your stomach. “Bucky, I - “

“You promised,” he said, voice cracking.

You shook your head. “Why do I have to talk about this. It’s not like I’m hurting anybody” 

“You’re hurting yourself, y/n.” he said calmly.

You shook your head and narrowed your eyes slightly, tears falling. “That’s different Bucky, you know it is.”

“You aren’t somebody?”

You looked at him for a moment before a sob escaped your body, leaning on the counter for support as you brought a hand to your mouth. Bucky quickly came up behind you and pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you. You started crying harder, embarrassed and ashamed. 

“I’m sorry Bucky, I didn’t know what else to do, I didn’t know how to tell you, I -”

“Hey it’s okay, it’s alright y/n, I’m here.” Bucky kept whispering reassurances in your ears, rubbing a hand up and down your back. 

After some time passed, you didn’t know how long, you were able to calm down enough to take some shaky breaths, hiding your red face in Bucky’s chest.

“When did this start happening again?” he asked softly

“I don’t know… few weeks at least, not really sure.”

He took a breath, trying to stay calm. A few weeks and he hadn’t suspected anything, and you were alone. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were on a mission, I couldn’t interrupt that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when I got back?” he pressed gently.

“You were so tired Bucky - ”

“Y/n.” he said more firmly.

You paused for a moment, knowing he wouldn’t take those answers. If they were truly the reason then you would’ve told him the next day or the day after, as soon as the opportunity came. There was more to why you waited, and Bucky knew that. 

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” you whispered. 

You heard Bucky sigh. He was angry with himself, for not being approachable to you. All he wanted was to make you feel safe enough to come to him, and to hear that you hadn’t because you thought he had expectations for you crushed him. “Y/n, I told you you could tell me about this. When have I ever been disappointed or angry with you?”

“You haven’t. You were just so proud and I - I didn’t want to ruin that for you. I didn’t want to tell you that you were proud of a lie.”

“Hey, hey look at me.” Hesitantly you looked up to meet his eyes. “None of this was you lying. You put in the hard work day after day, and I told you I was here to support you. But I never did the work for you. You did that. I’m proud of you and I always will be because you’re a fighter. It’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to slip up. It’s okay to need a little help too, and that’s what I’m here for. A slip up doesn’t erase all the hard work you’ve put in before. I’m proud of you for the progress you’ve made, and of the work you put in. This doesn’t change anything sweetheart.”

He pulled you back into his chest.

“I’ll always be proud of you.”

[my-tin-can-mans]

She Knows Part 2, (Wolffe x Reader)

OH BOY. First I'm sorry this took me so long I've been busy with college. But! this is the longest fic or anything really I've written so wow. Hopefully you enjoy.

Warnings: angst, mentions of Alcohol, mentions of cheating slight smut (minors do not interact or read).

Note: italics are flashbacks

“So, what do you usually do during leave?” the question threw you a little of guard. You’d been stationed with the 501st for four months now, four months since you’d broke it off with Wolffe after… everything. You had been the head medic in the 104th battalion, but quickly put in a request for a transfer after the humiliation Wolffe had put you through. The only position available was with the 501st, working under their head medic, Kix. It was a demotion sure, but honestly it took a lot of stress of your shoulders and well, anything to get away from the situation you were in.

Working with Kix almost 24/7 forced you two to grow close and form a close relationship. It was more of a brotherly/sisterly love than anything else, though others saw how well you two had worked together and insisted you would make a good couple, you both were comfortable where you were, which you were grateful for, it was nice to have a friend as kind and understanding as Kix.

Tomorrow the whole battalion would be stationed on Coruscant, the general had some jedi duties to attends to and the war was at a standstill for the moment, giving the men time to relax instead of being thrown under another general for a while.

You had been checking bacta supplies when Kix happened to spring this question on you. Freezing your hand in motion as you had begun to type up an order to restock while planet side. You’d never actually had a leave without Wolffe. Most of the time on leave was spent in that dark corner of 79’s, the other half in a hotel bed.

“Mesh’la, come on, up. I promised the men we’d meet them tonight for a round.”

“But I don’t wanna go Wolffe can’t we just stay here? The sheets are so soft and I don’t feel like wearing clothes.” You’d whined.

“I already told them we would be there, now come up before I drag you out of bed.”

“you wouldn’t,” you peeked your head out from under the covers, narrowing you eyes at him, he stood at the foot of the bed, wearing his blacks sans shirt. He himself had just untangled from you and the sheets. How he had the willpower to do so you had no clue. He dawned his famous predatory smirk on his face

“Are you questioning my word Mesh’la, because you know I always keep my word.” He took a step forward, his thighs now touching the mattress.

“of course not Wolffe,” you gave him a sweet smile, “but I bet I could change your mind.”

“oh?” he raised an eyebrow. “do tell.” He placed his hand on either side of your feet, leaning over the bed

“why don’t you come up here and find out.”

With one swift move Wolffe was on top of you now and you brought your hands to his face pulling him in and kissing him, it was rough and passionate, you really didn’t want to leave and you wanted him to know that, hoping he would see how desperate you were and decide to stay. But after a few moments he pulled back, looking down at you with that damn smirk again, “that was quite convincing.”

Before you could retort anything Wolffe had left from his position on top of you, yanking you up to your feet in the process, “but unfortunately like a said before, I am a man of my word and I already gave it to my brothers, sorry mesh’la but you’ll have to show me your negotiating skills another time, I promise ill make up for it.”

“To be honest Kix I’ve never really done much with my leave time, ya know? I just kinda destress and go out every once in a while.”

“Oh? Well do you have any plans for our first night off then? Me and a couple of the boys are gonna be at 79’s if you’d like to join.”

The mention of 79’s made your heart skip a beat. You hadn’t been back there since you’d found out about Wolffe. “I don’t know Kix,” you sighed, 79’s was a clone bar, and also a favorite hangout spot for the man you had been trying to forget about.

“oh come on, you think Jesse’s a horrible flirt now, just wait till you see him drunk, you’ll be laughing so hard your stomach will be sore in the morning.”

You snorted a laugh in response, Jesse and you were also pretty close, but he was notorious for always trying out stupid pick-up lines on you, he took every opportunity he could to flirt with you, even when he had gotten injured and you were stitching him up, “you look so pretty when your concentrated.” He had said.

But the issue at hand still itched in the back of your mind, what if Wolffe was there? Going back to your holopad, typing up the order you were previously working on to make yourself seem less concerned about your next question you asked him, “the 104th isn’t on leave right now are they?”

“no I don’t think so, why?” Kix had since turned around focusing on organizing medical supplies to help you order.

“Nothing, just, ya know making sure.” You’d told Kix about what happened between you and Wolffe. Just about every clone knew you two were dating, Wolffe always had to make it known you were his. So Obviously everyone was curious as to what had happened.

He turned and looked at you, realizing what you meant, “Oh Kriff, this is your first leave without him isn’t it?”

You nodded, too afraid, after months of finally getting yourself together you didn’t want to revert back to breaking down again.

“Hey listen, if you don’t want to be there I understand. But maybe it would help ya know? We’ll all be wasted you’ll totally forget about him I promise we’ll have a good time.”

It was very convincing, you’d seen the 501stparty and 79’s before, they went hard, unlike Wolffe who was usually more private and reserved. That didn’t mean you two still didn’t have fun in your own way on leave.

Much to your dismay you’d put on a dress and Wolffe had dragged you to 79’s anyways. The second you’d stepped into the place the music and dark lighting consumed you. It was loud tonight. The 501st was celebrating a successful occupy over a separatist world and you could tell. The blue armor was spread throughout the crowd, some at the bar hitting on the women already occupying it, and some on the dance floor.

You wished Wolffe danced more with you, you loved to dance but he only ever accompanied you once, and that was after a drinking competition with Thorne who was hard to beat. He didn’t even remember it in the morning.

Without a second glance to all the men, Wolffe grabbed your wrist and led you back to the booth he always sat at. Instead of the usual commanders, Sinker and Boost sat there awaiting their commanders arrival after being promised a drink with him. You slid into the booth and Wolffe sat right up against you.

He was broad so he took up most of the space, he always presented himself in such a way that he was always there, chest puffed out, shoulders broadened and head held high. When he got situated he spread his legs, taking up more space and knocked his with yours. The two of you practically sat in each other’s lap with how close you were to each other. he placed his hand on your thigh, resting just below the sundress you and reluctantly put on earlier.

It was a last resort to get him to stay in with you. It was his favorite. The first time he saw you in it he’d practically kneeled before you, although you were sure he was just trying to get a peak underneath.

Four shots were already at the table when you two had arrived and Sinker, who was sitting in front of you, had passed one your way while Wolffe grabbed his own downing it without even flinching.

As the night drove on, the men began to become tipsy and Wolffe’s hand grew higher and higher. It was when Boost was at the climax of telling you a story from before you had signed on with them that Wolffe finally breeched your center, rubbing his index finger over the already wet spot in your panties.

You jumped, not expecting him to be so bold as to touch you in front of his men. You turned to look at him but he was looking straight on at Boost, absolutely engrossed in the story he was telling. Without making eye contact he leaned over, giving you a small peck on your temple, while at the same time, he pushed you underwear over to the side and slipped a finger into you.

His face was flushed, from the alcohol or the devious act he was performing you couldn’t tell. It was probably a mix of both. Wolffe rarely showed PDA in public especially in front of him men. So you were practically in shock with what was happening right now.

You went to grab a sip of your drink while he slowly pumped his finger a few times before deciding to add another. You let out a chocking noise.

“Hey you okay?” Sinker seemed concerned at your reaction.

“Yeah, yeah just fine, drink must’ve gone down the wrong piper there” you tried to play it off.

He bought it just fine, resuming the conversation that had started up after Boost’s story. When you turned to look at Wolffe again he was wearing that shit eating grin he often dawned and maker you wanted to wipe it clean off.

When Sinker and Boost were distracted enough, Wolffe leaned into you, “come on now mesh’la, I did say I'd make it up to you, and as I recall we’ve already proved I’m a man of my words.”

“Well I guess a few drinks wouldn’t hurt.” You thought back to all the times you’d seen blue armor on the dance floor and envied the fact you hadn’t been there as well, “but I better get a couple of dances out of you guys”

Kix chuckled, “I can promise you, if you stop by for long enough those men will be fighting over who gets to dance with you next.”

You bellowed out a laugh at that. The thought of Jesse, tup and the rest fighting over you was quite the scenario. “Just comm me what time you boys are gonna be there at.”

He nodded his head in agreement, both of you chatting lightly about other topics as you finished the order.

****************************************************

The ship had landed a few hours ago, longing for a good night’s sleep you had left the barracks for the stay, packing up your necessities and checking into a hotel a few blocks out of the main traffic for some peace and quiet.

As you were getting ready for your night at 79’s Kix had sent you a comm message, letting you know they were on their way and would be arriving in 10 minutes. All you had left to do was dress yourself. You rummaged through the bag of clothes you had. It wasn’t much, mostly GAR issued scrubs and a few dresses. You heart stopped when you saw the dress though. The one that was always Wolffe’s favorite. You picked it out, holding it up so you could see the whole thing.

Kriff. This dress brought back so many memories. It almost hurt to look at it. if you were being completely honest with yourself though, you did look damn good in it. screw it you thought. Time to make better memories in it.

After you slipped the dress on you hailed an air taxi to 79’s once inside you scanned the bar, looking for the men who were going to take up your evening. You spotted them at the bar ordering drinks and from the looks of it Jesse was already on his shit and flirting with the bartender.

You walked up to them and their heads turned. Jesse let out a whistle, “Damn, look at you! If I didn’t know any better I'd say you were trying to entice me.”

Kix shook his head at that. Putting his face into his palm. Tup who happened to be standing beside Jesse elbowed him to which Jesse frowned at. “Could you not flirt with my favorite medic?” he turned to you, “you look nice by the way, but not in a creepy I want to get with you way like he meant.”

You let out a giggle. You were already having a great time and you hadn’t even been in the building for five minutes. You took a seat at the bar between Kix and Jesse, Tup to the other side of him.

As the night ticked by you happened to get pretty tipsy, never getting truly drunk for fear you couldn’t make it back to your hotel safely. The men held their alcohol well though and although they were drinking twice as much, they were probably the same level intoxicated as you were. You all stayed at the bar, cracking jokes and telling insane stories, often Jesse would flirt with you or the bartender but it wasn’t too much and you both welcomed the light heartedness attention he gave.

An hour in you heard a voice behind you, “Hope I didn’t miss too much.” You swiveled in the bar seat, turning around to be face to face with the captain of the 501st.

“Captain!” Kix exclaimed, “what took you so long?”

“Sorry boys had a few reports I needed to fill out before the night ended.”

“Well, were glad you here now.” You said.

You got up to give the captain a hug. Something you defiantly wouldn’t do sober, but the alcohol had given you a little confidence. Rex looked surprised by the affection but embraced you anyways. He leaned down and you put your chin over his shoulder patting him on the back staying like that for a second.

It was then that you wished you hadn’t hugged Rex, hadn’t drank as much to give you a confidence boost, and hadn’t stepped a foot in this maker forsaken bar again.

He sat there, in the seat he always sat in when he came here. Only this time he wasn’t with any of his troopers or the other commanders. This time he was with another girl. She was a purple Twi'lek and she was drop dead gorgeous. And the dress she was wearing, or lack thereof because of how tiny it was , made you look like you had just picked yours straight out of the garbage. And you couldn’t help but wonder.

Was that her?

“Kriff Wolffe, what the actual Kriff!” you screamed, you didn’t care about the other guests in the hotel, you were so mad you were practically seeing stars.

“I'm sorry mesh’la I'm sorry I'm so so sorry.”

“No. No! don’t you dare call me that right now. I can’t – I don’t even have words for you right now.”

“please, please let me explain,”

You whipped you head around to him, seeing a whole new layer of red. “Explain? What is there to explain Wolffe. You cheated on me then proceeded to not tell me while apparently everyone else knew and I found out through one of your brothers! Isn’t that enough of an explanation.”

You sat down on the bed, head in hands. He kneeled down in front of your feet. Placing his hands atop of your knees. “I'm sorry.” He whispered. You slapped his hands off you, the thought of him touching you after another woman practically revolted you.

“you already said that.”

“I know, and I mean it I am, it was a mistake, I- if I could take it back I would, Maker I- I hate myself for letting it happen.”

“you should hate yourself.”

“I do, I do. Please, tell me what I can do to make this better.”

For a man who was supposed to be well tactical he kept making all the wrong moves.

“Wolffe there is no making this better. What’s done is done and now it's time to move on.” you finally made your decision, after debating back and forth in the air cab on how to react.

“Yes of course let’s move on, it was in the past but I love you Mesh’la I want you that’s all.”

Kriff that’s not what you meant. “No Wolffe, I mean I’m moving on. from you. I- I can’t continue to be with someone who has done what you’ve done. It's- it's not fair to me.”

By this point tears were strolling down your face. You turned your head to wipe them, not wanting him to see how much he had broke you. “no, no please I- I love you please we can fix this we can work this out please just stay I- I need you.”

“I love you too Wolffe, but there is no fixing this. I loved you so much that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I gave you everything thing, I gave you all of me and you took that and you stomped on it, you might as well of placed my heart in a dumpster and set it on fire.”

He put his head in your lap. A single tear rolling down his face. “please, please don’t go, I'm so sorry.”

“I know Wolffe. But I can’t accept your apology.”

Your head was pounding. He wasn’t supposed to be on Coruscant right now. Kix had said so himself. You pulled back from Rex. He placed his hands on your shoulders his face blocking the view of him. He smiled warmly but his expression quickly changed when he saw yours.

“you look like you’ve seen a ghost” he joked.

But you facial expression didn’t lighten, in fact it only got worse. With every waking second, every harsh beat of whatever hit song was playing over the speakers you drew yourself inwards more and more.

“hey hey what wrong?” Kix had left his seat at the bar quickly coming to your side. Him and Rex both dawned a look of concern.

“You said he wouldn’t be here.” You turned to Kix, channeling you emotions onto him.

He looked confused at first, but the realization hit him and he turned his head to look over Rex’s shoulder. Rex followed his line of vision and they both saw him. Sitting there in the booth, while the woman clung to him, practically in his lap.

She was kissing his neck, which honestly surprised you, Wolffe was never one for public displays of affection. Or maybe that was just with you. Because he seemed to be enjoying this.

Rex turned around to face you again, a look of panic and empathy on his face, “Kriff I'm so sorry I- he was on a solo mission with General Koon and they’re stationed here for the night so I told him I’d be here. I'm so sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

It wasn’t the first time you’d heard that from a man in this room.

You felt like the whole room was spinning, be that the alcohol or the nervousness and upset that came with seeing him again you weren’t sure. All the men you had come here with were suddenly surrounding you with sympathetic looks and it felt like someone had placed a spotlight on you and you just wanted it to go away.

This night was meant to help you forget him, be happy and have fun with your new assigned battalion. Kriff was the so much to ask for!

“hey hey come on now,” Jesse finally broke the silence, “forget about him! If I remember correctly I promised you a dance earlier?”

This made you finally break out of your trance. You needed a distraction, and had been waiting for someone to dance with all night.

“actually I would love to Jesse.”

“right this way then”

He held out his hand for you and took you to the dance floor. The song that was playing was loud and upbeat, you and Jesse moved together to the beat, it was fun and you really enjoyed it, when the beat of the song dropped everyone on the dance floor was jumping to it, you and Jesse did the same

When the song stopped, you were practically out of breath, you let out a laugh of relief, actually feeling a little better. You looked up are Jesse and he was smiling at you.

“Feeling better, huh?” he asked.

“A little, thank you.”

A few second later another song had come on. This time it was more slow, the partners on the dance floor started to grab each other.

Jesse grabbed your waist. “Come on huh? let’s give that son of a blaster something to look at, plus this might be the only time I get to be this close to you, despite my attempts” he smirked at you.

You nodded your head, letting out a giggle at his lame excuse to flirt with you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pulled you in closer, your chest practically touching his. And finally you both started to sway to the beat.

A few seconds in Jesse started rubbing his thumbs on your hips, trying to calm your nerves, and it worked. Caught up in the music you started to lightly grind your hips into his, although it was soft guarded by his armor, he still took notice to it. smirking at you and grinding in time with you. His hands started to rise, growing closer and closer to under your breasts, but never reaching, knowing he would be crossing a line, and although Jesse was a flirt, his last intention was to make anyone uncomfortable.

He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck. You could feel his breathe on your skin, and his nose rubbing up and down. He placed a soft his on your shoulder and the next thing you knew you were being turned around. His hand were back on your waits, but his cheat was now pressed up against your back. He gave you a harsh grind into your ass and you gasped. His arms now wrapping around you, pulling you impossibly tight into him. His head resumed its spot into your neck.

“is this okay,” he whispered into your ear.

“yeah.” You breathed. He kissed you neck this time. but it was just one short one, it was slow, and hot, you closed your eyes. he placed them all the way up your neck, all the way up to your jaw. All the way close to your mouth, and he whispered again, is this okay.

You nodded your head, eyes still closed and you turned you head towards him a little encouraging him. And his lips met yours.

You hadn’t kissed very many people. Wolffe giving you the majority of your experience. and although they were clones, they felt completely different. When Wolffe used to kiss you he practically stole your breath, he put everything he had into kissing you, and it was almost always hot and it made your insides flip, no matter how many times he kissed you, you always felt dizzy and perfectly happy, like his kissed could cure any problemed you had. To say Jesse was a bad kisser would be a lie, it was a good kiss, but it almost made you feel the opposite, all you could think about was Wolffe.

And when the song ended and you opened your eyes you were facing him again. Him. And he was sitting there with his lounge practically down the woman’s throat. And it hurt, hurt to know that he didn’t even acknowledge you. Hadn’t even cared that the person he once begged to stay with was with someone else now. Even though you weren’t actually. It hurt that he used to kiss you like that and now he was kissing someone else like that.

you weren’t sure if it was the beginning of the next song, or if your head was going fuzzy, but all you could hear was ringing in your ears. Jesse had unwrapped his hands from around you and the moment he did you sprang towards the doors of 79’s.

you heard the faint sounds of Jesse, rex and Kix calling out for you but you couldn’t be bothered to hear what any of them had to say. You left the building and walked a few blocks. Finally coming across an empty alley. You pressed you back against the cool metal of the building you were beside and let out a breathe. The air was cool and crisp against your skin, but it felt good.

After all the time you spent forgetting about him you were practically back at square one. And it pissed you off. How dare he have this effect on you.

You let out a sigh, gathering your emotions. And when you finally felt calm enough you went to comm Kix, letting him know you’d be going back to your hotel for the rest of the night, but you were interrupted.

“Mesh’la.”

ending notes: soooo, im not sure if im gonna do another part on this or not, i have some ideas for other fics but im kinda cramped on time at the moment so we shall see.

Tags

@fandom-garbage @dionysuskid21

[kaorusakurayashikiswife]

new beginnings

pairing: Kaoru Sakurayashiki x f!reader

wc: 2k

warnings: angst (not really idk); fluff; exes to lovers; not proofread

notes: first post!! I saw that there weren’t really a lot of writings for Kaoru and decided to take it upon myself to write some!! I hope you enjoy, and please do tell me if there’s a mistake anywhere or if I there’s a warning I should add

“Are you ever going to skate again?”

Kojiro grins at you, handing you your food. You were on your break from work and decided to visit your old friend from high school.

“Kojiro you know why I can’t”

“It’s been a year I’m sure everyone wants to see you skating again!” You can’t blame him for his enthusiasm, it had almost been a year after you decided to quit skating due to breaking up with Kaoru. Before you quit you were known in ‘S’ as one of the top contenders, good enough to go against Adam, you had never gone on a beef against him since you had no interest to compete against someone like him.

“C’mon (Y/N)! You know everyone wants to see the infamous RIN again! After your sudden disappearance last year your fans have been missing you, there's even a new guy you can compete against!” You leaned in to cover his mouth, you didn’t want anyone knowing the name you were under while skating in S.

“Fine! I’ll visit but I’m not competing, I just want to see the poor soul that caught Adam’s eye.”

Kojiro smiled, knowing you, you’d probably compete either way, he knew that you’d been missing skating in S after he found you practicing. Your break up with Kaoru had changed their dynamic as you wanted nothing to do with him while he regretted letting you go.

The break up was because Kaoru kept insisting to go against Adam, you knew it was a bad idea, you had tried convincing him many times that the Adam he once knew was gone. Kaoru didn't like it as Adam was very dear to him, he had snapped at you and told you that you didn’t know him and that he’d rather break up with you than listening to your nonsense. You pitied the man, you’d heard what Adam had done to him a few days prior and wanted nothing more than to slap the man for hurting Kaoru.

“You won’t regret it! I’ll see you then RIN”

You hit him again, wanting to keep your professional life and personal life separate, “Say that name again out loud and I’m not going”.

Kojiro watched as you left the restaurant, sakura keychain still in dangling out of your bag like it had been so many years ago.

“You guys really are similar in that aspect”

Once you get home you sigh, your job has been taking a toll on you and you really needed a break. You look into your closet and see your skateboard, the only reason why you quit skating is because it reminded you of him, he was the one to teach you how to skate after all. The same man who decided to leave you to chase after the memory of the friend he once knew.

Making up your mind you change into your outfit and head down the same familiar path leading to the mine.

“Yo (Y/N)! Long time no see”

“You asshole! you call me by my name here and call me by my S name in public! Do you have a death wish?” You get closer to Kojiro to give him a piece of your mind, until you see four guys next to him: two boys who look like they’re in high school, an intimidating guy with clown-looking make-up, and a little boy who you think you’ve seen on TV.

“IS THAT RIN?!?” the redhead boy yelled, it caused everyone to turn to you, you were now the center of attention, mutters about the sudden appearance of one of the most known skaters in S.

“Who’s she?”

Compared to the redhead, the blue haired guy seemed like he was new, you assumed he was the rookie that Kojiro had mentioned earlier in the day.

“She’s a really well-known skater in S! she’s beaten a lot of people here, it’s said that she’s on par with Adam, but they’ve never gone against each other!”

“damn right and never will, I like not having broken bones thank you” you muttered, as everyone calmed down, they introduced themselves and seemed intrigued to see an old face.

“I came to see the new rookie everyone’s been talking about, I’m only here to watch though” everyone’s faces dropped, they seemed disappointed to not be able to see you skate.

“Then why’d you bring your skateboard hm?” Kojiro smirks at you, knowing that you’d come here to skate a little, even if it was just for fun.

“Fine, how about this? SNOW” you pointed at Langa and motioned him to follow you, “you’re coming with me, I wanna see why everyone is talking about you” you take Langa along and decide to skate against him in the course.

“Sorry I’m late, I forgot to charge Carla earlier today so she finished charging a little later than usual” Kaoru stood next to Kojiro to see why everyone seemed more excited. “Right on time Cherry! Look who’s skating today”.

Kaoru looked at the screen, it was you, he hadn’t seen you in a year and you never bothered to answer the messages he had sent you, not that he blamed you for that. You looked just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more, the way your hair flowed freely made you look ethereal, and your face seemed to glow while you were skating, an expression he had missed seeing from you.

He wanted to apologize, after the incident with Adam that landed him in the hospital he realized that his friend was gone, no semblance of him left. While in his hospital bed he remembered the words you had told him before he broke up with you. He knew he had no right to apologize now, but seeing you at S made him realize he missed you and wanted you back, if you’d have him of course.

Langa was surprised, your style of skating was different from anything he’d seen before, it looked complicated but you didn’t seem to be struggling at all. Due to him being distracted he hadn’t realized that you’d already crossed the finish line before him.

“That was good! You knew how to snowboard before learning how to skate right?” You asked excitedly, it had been a while since you’ve had this much freedom while skating. “Yes, how’d you know?”

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to snowboard! Your stance seemed similar to those in videos I’ve seen online!”

As you walk back to the rest of the group you see him. Kaoru’s hair got a bit longer but apart from that nothing seemed too different, he still had that unapproachable aura around him. He seemed to be staring at you but you refused to look at him in the eye, you still missed him after all.

“Long time no see (Y/N)” He tried reaching out to you but you didn’t move at all, “Don’t call me that here.”

“Right, sorry Rin”

It seemed that everyone around you was aware of the tense atmosphere, although nobody really knew of what relationship you and Cherry held.

As everyone headed home, you decided to stay back and skate a little, you didn’t know when the next time you were going to be able to skate again after all. That’s when you notice it, just a little behind you were Joe and Cherry trying to catch up to you. “Rin! I thought you weren’t skating anymore?” You didn’t need to turn to see that there was a smile on his face.

“Don’t you have any fangirls to be with?” You retort, speeding a bit to gain distance from them.

“They all went home, why? You jealous?”

“As if.”

“Cherry over here wants to talk to you.”

In all honesty, you’d forgot he was even there at all, if it weren’t for Carla telling him the angles once in a while, you wouldn’t even have noticed him. You were pondering whether you should listen to what he had to say, “He’s been all gloomy ever since he saw you”. You heard someone fall, assuming it was Kojiro you kept going, he deserved it anyway.

You and Kaoru skated in silence for a bit, the only sounds heard were the wheels of both of your skateboards. As you were the first to pass the finish line you stop, getting off of your skateboard and getting ready to go back home.

“So what’d you want to talk about?”

Kojiro looks surprised, he thought you hadn’t noticed him staring at you. Frankly, he wanted to apologize and ask for a second chance, he knew he was undeserving of it though, you only wanted the best for him, but he pushed you away.

“I wanted to apologize for before, I know you meant well, but I only pushed you away when you tried helping me. I should’ve listened to what you said.”

Although it was a bit short and awkward, you knew he meant it. To be honest, you don’t blame him, he only wanted to know what had happened to his friend after he disappeared and came back with a whole different personality. You would’ve done the same if a friend whom you considered family did the same. You knew that even though he had finally come to terms with the fact that the Adam he knew in high school was gone, he was still hurting. You understood all of this, yet it was still hard to forget how angry he’d gotten at you, how he went on and on about how you didn’t know Adam at all (even though you’d been there when all four of you skated together in high school), and how he couldn’t be with someone who talked ill about his best friend. You remember how he broke up with you through a phone call after being late for a date, how you had to show up in your friend’s front door with all of your stuff, in fear of going to Kojiro’s restaurant because he was probably there.

“You didn’t need to wait a year to apologize to me” He flinched, knowing full-well what you were speaking of. He knew he had messed up the moment he ended the call, but his pride didn’t let him go back to your shared apartment to apologize to you, and he assumed that you were probably packing your bags as he headed to Kojiro’s place to drink.

“I didn’t know what to do after I went back to the apartment with your stuff gone”

“Well, I can’t just stay in my ex-boyfriend’s apartment after he just broke up with me can I?”

There was a silent pause, you were basically ready to head back home, but decided to wait to see if he had more to say. “Alright, if you’re done I’ll be heading home now.”

He quickly grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving, “it’s late, let me take you home”.

You declined, Kojiro had already promised you to take you back home. At the mention of his name he looked confused.

“Kojiro left a long time ago though?”

You were surprised, looking around for the tall muscle-headed idiot, but Kaoru was right, he left you behind. You were really going to kill him this time, it was probably part of his plan so you could talk things out with Kaoru.

“If it’s not too much trouble, I’d be grateful if you did then” you offered him a small smile, you had to be nice to the person driving you back to your apartment.

The ride home was silent, all he could hear were Carla’s directions to your apartment. As you got home and thanked him for the ride he stopped you again.

“Can I have another chance?” You stayed silent, he took your silence as a rejection and started his engine to leave, but this time, you were the one to stop him.

“You still owe me a meal at Kojiro’s” He blinked, confused as to what you were saying. Then he remembered, he had made you a promise that every time you beat him in S he’d buy you your favorite dish at Kojiro’s restaurant.

He smiled, frown no longer on his face after the promise of a new beginning, “Of course, tell me when you’re free to get it”.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

In This Lifetime And The Next (S.CB)

Warnings : talk of past life, mention of death

Word Count : 5040

Synopsis : they just wanted to learn about their past lives, but found friendships and love that have lasted lifetime after lifetime.

Author’s Note : honestly i kept deleting and rewriting this before settling on this. it’s not exactly what i had in mind, but i still hope you enjoy! thank you for all the love recently! 

A sense of déjà vu took over her mind when his eyes met hers; it was so strong she was tempted to ask him if they had met before, but there was no sense of recognition in his eyes, so she didn’t. She couldn’t help but notice how extraordinarily handsome the familiar stranger looked. Muscular but not too much, with a bright smile that seemed to calm her heart. She felt at home. “Do you have anything to help learn about past lives?” He asked. His voice was so unique she would recognize it even in a crowd of screaming people.

           “Depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re looking into past lives in general, I have some books in the back corner. But if you want to learn about your past life specifically, I do readings.” His smile seemed to widen at this new information. His smile was addicting; so much so she would have done anything to see it again.

           “A reading would be perfect! Anyway to set up a reading for 8 people?” She looked through her schedule really quickly before deciding to schedule him and his friends in on the upcoming Sunday. “We’ll be here! Noon you said?” She nodded and then watched as he practically ran out of the store into the only car in the parking lot. Business had been rather slow the past week, but she no longer seemed to mind, her mind drifting to the handsome stranger she couldn’t wait to see again.

           When she pulled into the parking lot right before noon on Sunday, she was surprised to see the 8 boys already there. The clients that usually booked readings with her would usually be late, if they showed at all, so seeing them all there before her was quite a shock. “My apologies, I’m usually here earlier.”

           “No apology needed. We were early because we’re excited.” The handsome stranger, Changbin she would soon learn, replied. The 9 of them piled into her shop, moving to the back room where she had a round table set up specifically for her readings.

           As everyone took their seats and she began to set up, her eyes grazed across each new face, the same sense of déjà vu taking over her mind. It felt as if she knew these men, as if they’ve sat around a table like this before. “I’m used to doing readings for one or two people at a time, so this may take a couple of hours, is everyone okay with that?” She began, trying to make eye contact with each person at the table, but her eyes seemed to drift towards Changbin. She was nervous, but every time their eyes met, she seemed to calm down. It was only their second meeting, but he felt like home.

           “There’s no rush. We figured it would take a while so none of us made plans for the day.” One of the other guys spoke up. He too seemed to have a calming smile; one she couldn’t help but return. “Does anyone want to volunteer to go first?” He then asked, his attention turning to his friends. He seemed to be the dad friend, the guy that keeps everyone in line.

           “I’ll go.” The man with the long, brown hair tied in a half pony spoke up, standing from his seat and take the one beside her.

           “After the reading is complete, you may have a headache due to your brain trying to unlock these forgotten memories.” She explained before holding out her hand for him to take. “Let’s start with your name.”

           “Hwang Hyunjin.” He answered as he slid his hand into hers, taking note of how soft they seem to be. Holding her hand seemed comforting in a way, and he relaxed with her touch.

           “It seems as if you were a prince in your very first life; set to marry the princess of the neighbouring kingdom.” She began, a smile taking over her face.

           “I wish we did not have to wed.” The princess complained as her and the prince took a walk through the gardens, careful not to speak too loudly so no one would report back to the king. “Do not mistake my words, Hyunjin, I do love you, but I love you the way I love my brother.” He chuckled, taking a short glance towards her before continuing to look forwards, appreciating the work his gardener had put in.

           “I am not offended, princess. I too love you the way one loves a sibling.” She was delighted to hear his words, knowing that the two of them were on the same page. “Unfortunately, we must wed and join our kingdoms. I am happy it is you, though, princess. I quite enjoy your company around the palace. It is less lonely with you around.” She beamed up at him before looking down to her hands clasped in front of her as she walked.

           “My heart does belong to another.” She admitted, now afraid to meet Hyunjin’s eyes. “Before I left my palace to come here, I was seeing my chef.” She confessed, daring a quick look into Hyunjin’s eyes.

           “You love him?” He asked, not even a hint of anger in his voice. She seemed to glow as she answered, and Hyunjin couldn’t help the happiness that seemed to swell inside of him. “Tell me your love story, princess.” She excitedly told her story, Hyunjin listening to every word. He loved the princess, he truly did, but it was a platonic kind of love, a protective kind of love. “Shall I hire him here so you can continue your relationship?”

           “You would do that for me?” She asked, looking up at him with wide, puppy dog eyes. He would gift her the entire universe if she asked while looking up at him like that; if it was a possibility of course.

           “I would do anything for you, princess.”

           “The platonic love you two shared seems to have lasted many lifetimes.” She continued, meeting Hyunjin’s wide eyes.

           “You mean to tell me I was a prince, and my princess chose a chef over me?” He jokingly asked, causing everyone to let out a chuckle.

           “He was her soulmate.” She answered simply. Her attention then turned to everyone at the table, closing her eyes as flashes of what seemed like past memories came to her. “It seems that you all have shared your first life together.” They all exchanged looks. “You’ve shared all your lives together.

           The room fell silent as the 8 men exchanged looks with each other. She sat there, her eyes still closed as more and more memories flash across her mind. It felt as if someone was standing on top of her chest as her eyes popped open. Changbin’s eyes were the first ones she met when her eyes opened, a look of concern lacing his features. “Are you alright?” He asked, reaching as far across the table as he could.

           “I’m just fine. My apologies. Shall we move onto the next person?” Hyunjin stood from the chair beside her as the blond boy on the other side of the table moved to take the seat. Just as she did with Hyunjin, she held out her hand and asked for his name, taking in his facial features. His small nose and cheeks seemed to be covered with freckles, similar to those she covered on her own face.

           “Lee Yongbok, but I go by Felix.” He answered, sliding his hand into hers. She smiled warmly at him as a new set of memories flooded her mind.

           “It seems as if you were also a prince in your first life. You were the twin brother of the princess set to marry Hyunjin.” She began, delving into the memories flooding her brain.

           “Yongbok oppa!” The princess exclaimed as the butler announced his arrival during breakfast. A bright smile took over his face as his eyes met his sister’s. “What brings you to the palace?”

           “Why I missed my sister of course.” He beamed, opening his arms for a hug that she happily accepted. Hyunjin stood from his spot at the head of the table and walked towards the siblings, greeting his future brother-in-law with a handshake. “I am delighted to see my sister is being well taken care of.”

           “Of course. She is my princess and a future queen; she will be treated as such.” Hyunjin said matter-of-factly, a warm smile taking over his handsome features as he gazed at the princess standing next to her brother.

           “How are the wedding preparations? I have been told the wedding is only a couple days away.” The two of them nodded before going over all that has been done and the little that has yet to be done.

           “It shall be a grand wedding. Only the best for my princess.” Hyunjin held out his hand for the princess to take. When she slid her hand into his, he brought it to his lips as placed a short kiss to the top of it. “Would you like to join us for breakfast?” With his free hand, Hyunjin gestured to the large table next to them.

           “It would be my pleasure.” He beamed, taking the seat directly across from his sister’s as the chef brought out an extra serving. “Is that not the chef from Father’s palace?” Yongbok asked, recognizing the manly features of the chef that disappeared back into the kitchen.

           “The princess spoke very highly of him, so I asked if the king would mind if I hired him here.” Hyunjin and the princess exchanged knowing glances, ones that Yongbok noticed but didn’t mention. He went on pretending as if the lie he was just told was true, not even bothering to look into it further. As long as his sister was happy, he was happy.

           “Though in other lifetimes the two of you may not have been siblings, everyone around you seems convinced that you are. You two have always been much too similar, and you always put her happiness before your own. But she does the same.” She explained, her heart swelling with joy when her eyes met Felix’s.

           “I hope I’ll meet her in this life too!” He exclaimed with the brightest smile she’s ever seen, comparable to the sun.

           “It’s destined of course. Just as the 8 of you have lived all your lives together, this girl has also been apart of every life. She’s an important part of your lives.”

           “I can’t believe our friendship was written in the stars.” Felix beamed as he switched seats with a cold looking man.

           “This sounds like a load of crap, but let’s do it I guess.” He shrugged, holding his hand out for her to take. “Lee Minho.” He answered before she could ask.

           “I understand the skepticism.” She said nonchalantly as she slid her hand into his. As their hands connected, more memories flashed before her eyes, memories of secret dates and stolen kisses, memories where the girl’s face is blurry, but is slowly becoming clearer. Maybe they were brought to her so she could help them find their missing link; the girl in each of their forgotten memories. “You were the butler at Hyunjin’s palace.” There was a few snickers that died out just as quickly as they came as Minho shot them each a glare. “You were actually quite close to Hyunjin, and even closer to the princess.”

           “Sit with me, Minho.” The princess ordered, patting the seat next to her on the couch. Since she’s been staying at the palace, she’s grown close to Minho and his young son. They give her a sense of family that she misses.

           “What is the itinerary today, princess?” He asked as he sat beside her. She smiled as she spoke of the things she needed to get done before the wedding the next day. “It is hard to believe that the wedding has already come. It seems as if just yesterday you arrived at the palace.” Minho beamed at the young princess who returned his heartwarming smile.

           “I will never be able to thank you enough for making me so comfortable here.”

           “Your friendship and kindness towards my son is more than enough.”

           “It is time for the final dress fitting, princess.” One of the many maids announced. The princess nodded, standing to follow her before asking Minho to come along.

           “I would appreciate a male opinion.” Minho hesitated, but there was a soft spot in his heart for the kind-hearted princess that made him unable to say no to her.

           “I do not know much about women’s fashion, but I will do my best.” He smiled as he followed the princess and the maid into another room. He sat on one of the chairs as she disappeared into yet another room and got changed into her dress. It was a dress specifically made for her, fitted to her exact measurements, and it was obvious to Minho when she stepped out. He was absolutely speechless at the beauty she possessed. “Absolutely breathtaking, princess.” A blush rose to her cheeks as she hid her face in embarrassment.

           “I own many gowns, but none fit me quite like this.” She said out loud, mostly to herself, as she stared at herself in the mirror. For the first time in her life, she truly felt like a princess.

           “You will steal the show. Eyes will not be able to leave your figure tomorrow, princess.” Minho said, taking her side and looking at them in the mirror. “You are a true beauty; no one can compare.”

           “Oh my god, Minho was trying to steal my girl!” Hyunjin jokingly exclaimed, his hands clapping over his mouth in his usual dramatic fashion as laughter erupted from the table.

           “What did I say?” Minho asked, glaring at Hyunjin, who’s laughter quickly faded as he answered.

           “20 minutes at 180 degrees; that’s how you cook Hyunjin in the air fryer.” Minho seemed pleased with his answer as he turned back to the girl holding his hand, waiting for her to continue.

           “Hyunjin isn’t too far off.” She giggled. “You actually date her in a few of your shared lifetimes, though you both realize the love you share is strictly platonic.” Minho’s eyes widen.

           “Have we dated in this lifetime?” He asked, his skepticism fading completely.

           “I can’t tell for sure.” She answered honestly.

         “My turn!” Another one of the boys stood excitedly, a wide smile on his face causing his eyes to almost disappear completely. She felt a sense of protectiveness for him take over her body. She knew that if anyone were to hurt this boy now sitting beside her where Minho once sat, she wouldn’t hesitate in fighting. “Yang Jeongin!” He practically shouted his name as he grabbed her hand and looked at her with a sense of wonder, as if she had just told him she put all the stars in the sky.

           “Looks like we have another prince.” She smiled as his forgotten memories floated in her mind. “You were actually Hyunjin’s younger brother in your first life.”

           “Jeongin, are you bothering the princess again?” Hyunjin scolded from the doorway from Jeongin’s room where the two sat on the couches set up across from his bed and gossiped.

           “Of course not! If anything, you are bothering us!” Jeongin bit back with a teasing smile on his face. Hyunjin scoffed, holding his hand over his heart in feigned pain, causing the princess to let out a giggle.

           “We were just talking.” The princess explained with an innocent smile on her face. “In fact, he was in the middle of telling me some very interesting stories from your childhood.”

           “Yah!” Hyunjin exclaimed, stalking towards the younger boy who stood up quickly, many apologies leaving his lips as he laughed. It was the first time the princess had seen Hyunjin act so carefree and casual, and she quite liked it. Watching the brother’s interact as if they were just regular people instead of royal blood warmed her heart and reminded her of home.

           “Please do not harm him!” She exclaimed with a giggle. “I was rather excited to hear how it ended.” Both boys turned to look at her; Jeongin wearing a wide smile while Hyunjin wore a look of embarrassment.

           “What story was he even telling?” He asked as he took a seat next to her. Jeongin took his original spot across from her, a smirk on his lips as he took a sip of the tea in front of him. “No, not that one.” Hyunjin whined noticing the smirk on his brother’s face.

           “I already told her of the time you fell off your horse into a pile of his poop.” He chuckled, as did the princess when she remembered the story.

           “Is that all you two do when you get together? Gossip about me?” The princess reached over and took his hand in hers, rubbing small circles into his hand with her thumb, calming him down almost instantly.

           “Laughing about your misfortune is how we bond, yes.” Jeongin answered with a teasing tone laced in his voice. Before the princess could say anything in defence of Jeongin, Hyunjin was already up and chasing Jeongin who stood as Hyunjin did to run away.

           “You two have always had a teasing relationship whether you were brothers or friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the same in this life as well.”

           “It is.” The other 6 answered in unison, causing her to let out a soft giggle, shaking her head. Some things really never change, and that gives her a sense of home. The longer she sat with the 8 of them, the more she felt at home with them, as if the 9 of them belonged together, sharing stories, and laughing at the memories.

           “Can I go next?” The boy with adorable chubby cheeks, comparable to a squirrel, asked. She waved him over, patting the chair Jeongin stood from not long ago. He nervously sat down, holding out his hand for her to take when she was ready.

           “You nervous?” She asked softly, hoping the others wouldn’t hear, but the room was near silent as each of them waited for their turn. He slowly nodded his head, barely meeting her eyes. “You don’t have to do this.” She told him.

           “I want to!” He quickly exclaimed, his eyes widening. “I’m a little nervous, but I really want to know. My name is Han Jisung.” He smiled and she took his hand, returning his smile with one of her own.

           “You were a gardener.” She spoke slowly, allowing the memories to come to her. “The royals spoke highly of you, but you refused to leave Hyunjin’s palace, even when offered more pay. It seems like you may have had a crush on the princess.” Jisung’s cheeks tinged with pink as she spoke.

           “It gets prettier and prettier out here.” The princess beamed as she approached Jisung. “No wonder all the royals speak greatly of you, Han Jisung.” The boy met her eyes with a rosy blush dusting his cheeks.

           “I am happy you like my work, princess, but the beauty of the all the flowers can never compare to the beauty you possess.” She gave him a sweet smile as blush dusted her own cheeks at the sweet compliment.

           “You flatter me, Jisung. I hear every flower has a meaning.” He nodded and watched as her face lit up as she asked him to go over the meaning of each of the flowers in the palace garden. “If you have the time of course.” She added, not wanting him to extend his work day in account of her curiosity.

           “I will always have time for you, princess. Shall we start with this one?” She nodded excitedly as he took her around the garden, explaining the meaning behind each flower. The prince watched them from afar, a content smile on his face. It has been so long since he’s seen the princess smile this way.

           “You look so pretty when you smile, my dear princess.” Her and Jisung met Hyunjin’s eyes as he walked towards them, his hands behind his back. Jisung greeted him with a quick bow, apologizing if he overstepped. “If the princess is happy, I believe there is no reason to apologize. You have worked here for a while now, Jisung. You are like family.” Jisung thanked Hyunjin with a smile. “Though, I must steal the princess. Your parents shall be arriving for dinner soon.” She nodded and bid Jisung goodbye.

           “I hope we can continue another day.” Jisung nodded, saying she is welcome anytime.

           “It’s truly an innocent crush that never develops past that, and a beautiful friendship is created in each lifetime.” She finishes, looking at the adorable man in front of her with a soft smile.

           Not much is said as they move on to the next; Bang Chan as he introduced himself. The dad friend that explained they had the day for the readings. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a break?” He asked, looking at her with worry in his eyes.

           “I’m fine, thank you though.” As she grabbed his hand, memories that seemed to belong to her filled her head. Memories of Chan taking her into his arms as she cried, memories of him bringing food to her place because she was working too hard. She had to force herself not to yank her hand away and search through these memories of hers to find the ones belonging to him. “You were the leader of the palace troops.”

           “Princess, it is too dangerous for you to be out here alone.” Chan called out to the princess who sat on the wide, wooden swing, staring up at the stars littering the night sky.

           “I am not alone if you are here, Chan.” She smiled, patting the spot beside her. He hesitated but sat down regardless of the voices telling him not to. “Doesn’t the night sky look absolutely stunning tonight?” He looked away from her side profile and looked up to the night sky, agreeing almost immediately with her observation. “This is why I love this palace more than my own. The night sky does not look nearly as pretty as it does here.” Their eyes met as they both looked away from the sky.

           “You really should not come out here alone, princess.” He warned her again, knowing deep inside she wouldn’t follow his instructions. She’s different than the other royals, but he finds her quirks rather endearing. He finds her a perfect match for Hyunjin, already noticing a difference in the prince he’s known for many years. She brought out the best in Hyunjin, glimpses of the Hyunjin Chan once knew before responsibilities fell into his lap with his parent’s sudden passing.

           “Then will you join me when I want to look at the stars?” She asked with a look of hope in her eyes. A look so innocent, so pure, Chan couldn’t seem to say no. “Shall we go back now?” Chan nodded, standing from the swing, and offering her his hand to help her stand. She took it with the same grace she’s been taught from a young age. “I will see you tomorrow, then. There are rumours of a meteor shower.”

           “Tomorrow.” He smiled as she turned and headed for her room.

           “You protect her in every lifetime.” She whispers, tears welling up in her eyes as she slowly comes to the realization that maybe, just maybe, she’s the princess. Maybe she is the missing link to their group.

           Her eyes drifted towards Changbin once again, wondering if he would be the infamous chef that is the princess’ soulmate. Maybe the sense of déjà vu she felt when she first saw him, the sense of feeling like she was finally home, was because he was the soulmate she’s been waiting for. He was right in front of her, and she didn’t know how to tell them; so she didn’t.

           The man who goes by Kim Seungmin took the seat beside her after Chan stood up. He slowly slid his hand into hers, hesitant in hearing what she would have to say about his past life. “You were the princess’ tutor.” She explained, her smile lost in the memories she can’t get out of her mind.

           “This story was absolutely delightful, Seungmin! Please tell me there are more like it.” The princess exclaimed, sliding the book across the table towards Seungmin. He glanced down at the title before reaching into the bag he brought with him, pulling out a similar story, one he knew she would love even more than the previous one.

           “I brought this one for you today, princess. I do believe it is just your taste.” She clapped her hands together as she took the book from his hands, her fingers tracing the words that make up the title.

           “It sounds marvelous.”

           “What was it about the previous story that you enjoyed so much?” He asked, the work they were supposed to do leaving his mind completely as he wondered more about the princess they call an oddball.

           “The idea of running away with the love of your life that the world does not think is your match. It seems so romantic. A part of me wonders what it would be like to be on the run with your lover by your side.”

           “Does the princess have a lover that is not the prince?” He continued to pry, knowing he was crossing a line he shouldn’t, but in this moment, the two seemed more like friends. He was truly curious about the princess who doesn’t act like a princess.

           “Do not be silly, Seungmin. I truly love Hyunjin.” He could tell she was lying, and he wondered who had stolen her heart. Maybe it was the gardener he saw giving her flowers before a tutoring session one day. Or maybe it was the butler that seemed to shower her in compliments and look at her like she puts the stars in the sky while she plays with his son. Could it possibly be the infamous chef he hears about? The one Hyunjin hired from her old palace? There was even the leader of the palace troops who seemed to have a soft spot for her as well. Hyunjin’s younger brother is also a likely candidate.

           She seemed to collect hearts just by being herself and not conforming to what society deems as appropriate for a princess. Anyone that comes into contact with her seems to gain a soft spot for her, Seungmin included.

           He knew she was lying but pretended he didn’t. “The two of you make a beautiful couple. I hope for a long, happy marriage.” She nodded with a smile that wasn’t as bright as before.

           “You could say you knew her better than she knew herself, even if you two didn’t consider each other close friends. There has always been things you can read from her reactions that others can’t decipher.”

           “Like the way I can tell you aren’t fine?” He asked as he raised a brow. She tried her best to fake a smile, but Seungmin could see right passed it. “Don’t bother with the fake smile, Y/N.” Her heart began to pound as she blinked back the tears that so desperately wanted to fall.

           “I’m just tired.” She lied. Seungmin knew she lied, but he didn’t say a word. He just gave her a knowing look as he stood, letting the final man take the seat. Changbin grabbed both her hands, meeting her eyes.

           “If you’re too tired, I can come back another time.” Her heart seemed to calm in his presence. In that moment she knew.

           “You were the chef.” She whispered, no longer able to hold the tears back, allowing them to fall as Changbin tried his best to wipe them away. “You’re the one the princess fell in love with. You’re her soulmate.”

           “How does this taste, my love?” He asked with a smile, holding a spoon up to her mouth for her to taste his newest experiment. Her eyes widened with shock as the delicious flavour took over her tastebuds.

           “Absolutely magnificent.” She beamed, leaning forward, and pressing a quick kiss on his lips. “The food you make is always spectacular. Worry not!” He returned her bright smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

           “I just want the food for your wedding to be memorable.” Her heart dropped at the thought of marrying someone who wasn’t Changbin, while he watched in the shadows.

           “If it is made by you, it will be.” Her voice softened. “But I do not want to spend our time talking about my marriage to another.” She looked to the ground, tears welling up in her eyes. Changbin softly grabbed her chin with his thumb and forefinger, bringing her eyes to meet his once more.

           “Then we will talk about how irrevocably in love with you I am, princess.” He smiled, connecting their lips in a passion filled kiss that last a second too short. “How I could spend eternity kissing you and loving you and never get bored.” He kissed her again. “No one in this world can ever compare to you, my love.” Another kiss. “I will love you in this lifetime, and the next.”

           “And all the others after that.” She added before pressing her lips to his in yet another kiss.

           “It’s a love that lasts eternity.” She whispers. “A love people write stories and songs about. Everyone searches for a love that’s as true and as strong as the one you share with the princess.”

           “You’re the princess, aren’t you?” He asks, both his hands cupping her face and wiping the tears that have yet to stop falling. No one at the table makes a sound as they’ve all come to the same conclusion. The sense of déjà vu they felt when they saw her making sense. Memories that were once forgotten flooding all of their minds as they watch a love that’s lasted centuries blossom once more.