#I just wish more ppl my age were interested in creating local community/friendship networks

[violetclarity]

I know this may come off kind of whiny and is possibly more specific to living in the US being as it’s so individualistic, but what I wish partnered people especially (and to a lesser extent folks who live with roommates) understood about being single/living alone is just how much fucking time I spend by myself.

I’m not a person who can’t handle time alone! I don’t mind doing things by myself, even public things like going to the movies or going out to eat! I think I’m great company! But the thing about being single & not having a default person/people for a lot of these things is that all the novelty of doing things alone, or any benefit you might get from taking some alone time, is kind of erased.

It’s not a ‘fun solo movie night!’ if every time I sit down to watch TV, I’m by myself. It’s not ‘taking myself on a date!’ if the majority of the time when I eat any meal, or go do anything, I’m alone. I keep busy, y’all. I have the most active social calendar of almost anyone I know, because I love my friends, and also by necessity. My coworkers - most of whom I would never choose to spend time with - are already the people I see the most of in a week. If I didn’t make an effort to see friends as much as possible outside of work, they’d be the only people I saw regularly, and that would be fucking me up even more than it already is.

I like living alone, I like being able to do my own thing, I’m proud of myself that I don’t let not having a person to do something with keep me from doing something. And sometimes I really fucking wish I had company for some of this shit. Wish I didn’t always have to run errands by myself, because it would be more fun with a friend. Wish I had someone I could ask to come with me to check on my friend’s cat, because I don’t know if her roommate is going to be home and it might be awkward. Wish there was someone to chat with while I did chores, or have an actual movie night with so it felt like an actual occasion, or, you know, literally anything mundane that could be done with another person, because sure I see and talk to my friends a lot, but that’s usually for an activity or an event - we’re going out to eat! we’re going to watch a specific show! - and rarely just to do the daily mundane shit that I always have to do by myself.