#I just want to see the most beautiful man ever

[narnian-neverlander]

Meant to be Yours [Viktor x GN!Reader]

Preview: A sigh and then you watch his hand move to curl two fingers under your chin, forcing your gaze up to meet his; you’re shocked to see how very vulnerable he looks at this moment. “Do you truly believe I would have reacted so intensely, so violently, at seeing you again if I didn’t care? If I hadn’t thought about you almost every day during the last decade? If you didn’t still matter to me today?”

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 4,2k

Warnings: mentions of injuries, character ‘death’ and canon typical violence

This is part of a series of stand alone One-Shots that all feature the same reader, you can find the masterlist here :3

It’s a miracle you haven’t gotten lost, even with directions. The sprawling, elaborate halls of Piltover Academy all look very much the same to you, and you thank Janna when you finally arrive at a door with a little plaque reading ‘Talis’ next to it. You knock, you wait. And you do it again. And again. Until you grow tired and crack open the door to peek inside. It’s a relatively small space; several desks cluttered with papers and blackboards utterly covered in equations and diagrams against the walls - and a man that most definitely isn’t Jayce sitting at one of the tables, head propped up with his fist against his cheek, other hand scribbling into a notebook and completely unaware of your presence.

“Uhm, pardon me?” you call out as you enter and he startles, head snapping up to look at you with wide eyes. And you’re actually taken aback for a moment, cause he’s probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen: lithe frame, messy chestnut hair, sharp jawline, high cheekbones, intense golden eyes and thick brows, currently furrowed in confusion. “You’re not Jayce.” It’s a statement, not a question; voice deep and smooth and accented. You blink once, twice, before you manage to stutter out, “N-neither are you.” You realize that this doesn’t exactly make you seem any more trustworthy or approachable, so you try to elaborate and hold up the notebook in your hands, the Talis family crest emblazoned on the cover. “He, uh, he left this at my place the last time he was there? I don’t understand any of what’s in it, but it seemed important, so I just wanted to return it.” A slender hand takes the offered book from you, quickly flipping through it as if to confirm that it indeed belongs to the man you claim. “And he still signs every page…”

It’s nothing more than a quiet, slightly exasperated mutter under his breath and if the room wasn’t as quiet as it is, you probably wouldn’t have heard him, but you do and can’t help but snort in amusement. “Yeah, he’s been doing that for years; I don’t think that’s a habit he’s about to break any time soon.” Amber eyes flick up from the pages he’s still thumbing through to focus on you instead and while the way he studies you might be slightly unnerving, there’s another part somewhere in the back of your mind telling you that you know him.

“You said he left this at your place the last time he was there; so that would make you his…?” The unfinished sentence hangs in the air between you, prompting you to complete it and there’s heat crawling up the back of your neck and into the apples of your cheeks as it dawns on you what you’ve accidentally insinuated so you vehemently shake your head. “Oh no, no, no, no, no! It’s not my place— Well, technically it is my place, but— It’s not a place for— I mean, it’s not like that, it’s—“

Dropping your head into your hands, you groan and take a breath to collect yourself before you face him again; bewilderment and slight amusement written all over his handsome features. “I own a restaurant not super far from the academy? Jayce has been a regular for years; he left that at his table last time he came in.” Something akin to recognition flashes in his eyes at that. “Ah, so you’re the chef he’s always rightfully raving about. He’s brought in some of your food a few times; it’s exceptional.” Some of the tension that’s been keeping you rooted to the spot and your entire body on edge starts to ebb away. “Oh, well, thank you; I’m glad you enjoyed it. And that Jayce actually managed to share.” It’s starting to make sense why he seems so familiar to you, now. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you’re the new research partner he’s been yapping about for weeks?” The corner of his mouth twitches upwards at that, the mole above his upper lip going with it - cute. And you can’t help but feel like you’ve seen it before. “Has he now? Apologies, I’m sure I make for a terrible topic of conversation.” That actually gets a laugh out of you. “Not at all; he’s only had good things to say about you. Well, mostly. Besides, I’m glad he finally has someone who shares his dream.”

As if on cue, Jayce enters the room, carrying a box of what looks to be spare machine parts under one arm. He’s as surprised to see you here as his partner was and when questioned, the brunette still sat at the desk simply holds up the notebook and waves it in the taller man’s face. “Do try not to leave vital research lying about when you go out for lunch?” Jayce winces lightly. “Sorry. But maybe that wouldn’t happen if you just joined me for lunch every once in a while like I’ve asked, Viktor.”

All the times that you’ve had to listen to Jayce talk about this man and he’d never bothered to mention his name; so now it’s like a shock to your system. Like the final piece of a puzzle finally clicking into place and your brain kicks into overdrive, pulse picking up to an almost worrisome degree as you feel your palms get sweaty.

You take him in again and yes, his face was rounder, softer back then, his eyes bigger and more innocent, but there’s still the same mischievous spark in them as he good-naturedly bickers with Jayce, the same wit in every well calculated retort.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure this is gonna sound weird, but… are you from the Undercity?” The two men turn their attention to you; Viktor’s eyes narrowing, taking on a colder, harsher look and there’s a slight edge to his voice as he responds. “Yes. Is that a problem?” You quickly shake your head, wanting to dispel any notion of what he thinks you’re implying. “No, of course not! I’m from the Undercity; I grew up there and I… I had a best friend when I was younger? We always played together down by the river and he brought his inventions for us to test out and when they got stuck somewhere he couldn’t reach I’d get them for him and—“ You’re rambling, you know it, but it doesn’t have to be fully coherent for him to understand. For his eyes to grow wide in disbelief. For him to whisper your name under his breath, even though you’d never introduced yourself.

And oh, oh, you didn’t realize you’d missed hearing your own name in his voice. How much you’d truly missed your beloved childhood friend.

Jayce is looking between you both in wonder. “Wait, no way! Viktor is the childhood friend you told me about? The one you’ve been looking for?” Tearing your gaze away from Viktor, you turn to your friend, smiling ear to ear. “Yeah, I… I guess he is.”

Your beloved childhood friend, finally back in your life.

Jayce claps you on the back happily. “I’ll be damned. Life sure has a way of bringing people together, huh? We should celebrate! I know a good restaurant not far from here.” You giggle as he waggles his brows at you playfully, but it’s short-lived as your attention returns to your long lost friend, who doesn’t seem to be sharing in the current joy; face scrunched up in clear reluctance and displeasure and looking anywhere but you. His voice is bitter and harsh when he speaks.

“I do not think that necessary. There is nothing to celebrate.”

Your beloved childhood friend, who you used to spend every day with.

“What? Don’t you want to catch up? You two haven’t seen each other in… what? Ten years? Longer?”

Your beloved childhood friend, whom you’d made a promise to; to tell him all about Piltover after your parents took you there for the first time. To go there again together, once you were both older.

“Exactly. We were friends once, yes, but we are mere strangers now. I do not see the merit in interrupting my work to go have drinks with someone who no longer holds any value in my life.”

Your beloved childhood friend, who doesn’t know that you didn’t leave him willingly. Who must think you’d gotten a taste of Piltovian life and had simply forgotten about him; left him behind for a better future for yourself.

It’s far from the truth, but he can’t know that.

And if you’re being honest with yourself, even if it tears you apart from the inside out, “He’s right.” You interrupt Jayce as he opens his mouth, no doubt wanting to come to your aid again. “Whatever we had it… it was a long time ago. He doesn’t owe me anything and it’s clear that he doesn’t need me in his life anymore.” Patting Jayce’s arm, you turn towards the exit; if you stay here much longer you won’t be able to hide the strain in your voice and the quiver of your bottom lip anymore. “I’ll see you around; do try to keep your wits and your notes about you, ‘kay, pretty boy?” It’s obvious he is less than pleased with how the situation has turned out, lips pressed together in a thin line and brows furrowed in irritation. But he doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t try to stop you from leaving. You do end up pausing at the door, hand already on the handle, deciding to take another look at your old friend - possibly your last. He has his back turned to the both of you, attention back on his work, you seemingly already forgotten.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad I got to see you again, Viktor. I always knew you’d end up somewhere you’d change the world. And I can’t wait to see it.”

The next few hours keep you busy, thankfully; keep your mind off the heartbreak and grief, but now, all alone in the restaurant, wiping down the counter in preparation to close, it comes back full force, hanging over you like a dark cloud. So when the bell above the door chimes, signaling the entrance of a customer, you don’t bother looking up; you’re not in the mood. “Sorry, we’re already closed.”

“I’m not here for the food.” Your palm almost slips on the wet surface which would’ve sent you face first into the counter. Instead, your head snaps up in disbelief and sure enough, Viktor is right in front of you, still clad in his academy uniform, cane in hand. “W-what are you doing here?” A heavy sigh as he comes to stand across the counter from you. “Jayce thought it… prudent that we have another conversation.” A tiny laugh from your side, not more than a breath out of your nose. “He didn’t shut up about it after I left, did he?” The answer is deadpan and exasperated and it’s almost endearing in it’s own way. “No, he did not. He walked me all the way here and I would not be surprised if he’s still outside.” You make a quick mental note to make Jayce’s next order on the house, before your mind starts racing, trying to come up with a way of starting this conversation. As it turns out you don’t have to, as he beats you to it.

“I should… apologize to you. For how I spoke to you earlier.” That’s definitely not the opener you expected and you blink at him owlishly in surprise. “While my assessment of our situation might’ve been correct, there was no reason to be as cruel and stern to you as I was. I’m sorry.” Mulling over his words, you decide it’s now or never. “Well, thank you. But just for the record, for all your smarts and brilliance, your assessment of our situation is not in fact, correct.” He raises his brows in intrigue, a mocking ‘Oh?’ leaving his lips as he rests his elbows on the counter in a silent challenge. “So you are actually going to try and convince me that you didn’t forget all about me the moment you stepped foot in this city?” Your answer is immediate and certain and judging by the look on his face, he’s actually taken aback for a moment. “Yes. That’s exactly what I plan on doing.”

He ends up having the audacity to scoff and roll his eyes. “Please, don’t strain yourself. You do not need to make up lies to… spare my feelings? Or whatever it is you believe this will accomplish.” You don’t blame him for it, if your roles were reversed, you imagine you’d react similarly. It still hurts, to have him be so dismissive of your side of the story when he’d once valued your opinion and feelings above all else. “I understand that this might be too late and really, you’re right, it doesn’t hold any weight or merit in our current lives anymore, but… it’s still important to me that you know that I didn’t leave you behind willingly.”

“Right.” He spits the word like venom, accompanied by what you can only describe as a snarl. “So what was it then? You wanted to build a proper life here first and then come back for me? Or did your parents fall ill and you devoted all your time to taking care of them?” You wince at the mention of them. “They took care of themselves quite well by selling me and fucking off to who-knows-where to build a better life for themselves without me.” Any trace of malice immediately vanishes from his face, replaced by confusion and downright shock. Sighing, you rest your forearms on the counter and keep your gaze on your fidgeting fingers. “Yeah, they sold me to some rich household with… peculiar preferences. A gilded cage is still a cage though; as long as you adhered to their rules and demands, they kept you fed with only the best food Piltover had to offer and put the finest clothes on your back. And I would’ve traded all of the fancy things they threw at me just for a single day back down by the river with you.” You can’t bring yourself to look at him; you’re scared to find cold indifference written all over his features. Or even worse, the pity you’re oh so sick of. You’re not looking for sympathy or condolences for everything that went wrong in your life; you’re simply trying to make good on a promise from long ago. You’d once prided yourself on always keeping your word and you’d be damned if you let them take that from you, too.

Slender, pale fingers enter your field of vision, blurred by tears you didn’t realize were there, and gently come to rest on your arm, his skin warm against yours. “I did not mean to force you to recall any painful memories, please forgive me.” Not pity, a simple apology for a what he thinks to be a mistake on his part. You sniffle and shake your head. “You couldn’t have known, it’s fine.” It’s quiet between you for a while, his thumb drawing patterns against your skin in thought before he carefully speaks up again. “Out of all the scenarios I came up with to explain your disappearance, I will admit this was never one of them.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t have made this up if I’d wanted to.” Then you pause as his words fully sink in. “Wait, don’t tell me you actually gave me some thought during all these years?” And he truly sounds offended when he replies with, “Of course I did.” You snort. “Didn’t exactly sound like that earlier today.” A sigh and then you watch his hand move to curl two fingers under your chin, forcing your gaze up to meet his; you’re shocked to see how very vulnerable he looks at this moment. “Do you truly believe I would have reacted so intensely, so violently, at seeing you again if I didn’t care? If I hadn’t thought about you almost every day during the last decade? If you didn’t still matter to me today?” You manage not much else but to stare at him wide eyed and slack jawed, so he drops his hand from you and digs into his waistcoat instead, producing what looks to be a tiny, halfheartedly put together bundle of cogs and bolts from an inside pocket. Placing it onto the counter between you both, he elaborates. “Do you remember the little cat I built you? After those bullies destroyed your favorite toy? I’d wanted the tail to be able to move, but I just couldn’t get the mechanism right. You’d been so sad though, so I just gave it you unfinished. I’d planned on fixing it up, with the toolset you’d been so excited about bringing me back from Piltover, but…” He falters at that and it takes him a moment to find the right words to continue with. “I still built that mechanism eventually. Kept it with me, in case you… in case you ever came back. And when I realized that wasn’t going to happen, I kept it as a reminder. A reminder of my roots. Of the kind of people I want to help with my work. Of the first person who ever believed in me.”

You pick up said mechanism and gingerly turn it over with careful fingers. The feeling in your chest can really only be described as warm and fuzzy as you quietly rasp out, “I still have it.” He cocks his head to the side in curiosity. “You still have what?” You bring your eyes from the metal in your hands back up to his questioning amber gaze and smile, soft and reminiscent. “The cat. I still have it. I went back to my old house after I… after I got out of that horrible place. Just to, I don’t even know, have some sort of closure, maybe? It was ransacked, nothing but ruins, but that was still there, under all the dirt and rubble. So I kept it. It’s been sitting on a shelf in my living room together with that toolset for you ever since.”

It’s quiet and disbelieving, but he actually laughs at that and you decide then and there that you want to hear it more often. “You… you still got me that toolset?” Heat shoots up all the way to your ears with how he’s looking at you, all affectionate and amused, so you scoff and throw up your hands in surrender. “Well, yeah, I promised you after all, and I’ve never broken a promise before. I went back to the river every once in a while, hoping I’d maybe run into you again. I even considered leaving it there with a note at some point, but I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else taking it. It was always meant to be yours, after all.”

The expression on his face shifts while you talk, the small, teasing grin slowly fading into something more tender. It makes your heart flutter so you simply keep talking in hopes of distracting yourself from it. “I know it’s silly, but—“

“It’s not.” he interrupts decidedly, so you clamp your mouth shut to listen instead. “How about you bring both of those to the lab tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do about finally fixing that cat?” You’re certain he must be able to hear your heart with how loud it’s beating, blood roaring in your ears, butterflies going crazy in your stomach. He… he still wants you in his life? Is that what he’s implying? He must mistake your silence for distaste at his proposal, as he quickly adds, “If that’s agreeable with you?” Shaking your head to force yourself out of your stupor, you nod vigorously. “Y-yeah, of course, I’d love to! I’ll bring some food, too; Jayce tells me you’re horrible at remembering to eat while you work.” He brings a hand to his heart in mock offense. “Pardon me? That is… how do you say? The pot calling the kettle black? He is not much better at it.” Grinning joyfully, you come around the counter to stand in front of him and poke him in the chest. “He has been coming in for lunch less and less in the past few weeks. I wonder whose bad influence that could be, hm?”

And just like that, it’s like no time at all has passed for the two of you. Like you’ve never been apart.

He grins right back at you as he slaps your hand away and glares at you playfully. “Eh, if you make it to the lab regularly I think you’ll see for yourself soon enough.” You lean forward and raise your brows at him teasingly. “Oh so this is a regular thing already now? You realize I have a business to run here; I do not have time to take care of you two nitwits every day.” Putting a finger on his chin, he hums in thought. “Then it looks like I’ll have to take Jayce up on his offer after all and tag along when he comes here.” You shake your head at his antics and smile at him fondly. “I’m sure we’ll be able to figure out some sort of arrangement. Now get outta here, it’s late; you need rest and I still need to lock up.”

A hand at the small of his back, you steer him towards the entrance, but he stops and turns to you right at the door. He hesitates before he speaks and when he does the joyful, teasing tone from before is gone, replaced with something more serious, accompanied by an almost desperate glint in his eyes. “I will see you tomorrow then?” Your heart isn’t sure wether it wants to break or melt, as you remember these exact same words from the very last time you saw him when you were children. And before you know it, you have him enveloped in a hug, arms around his middle and head nestled into the crook of his neck. He’s surprised, to say the least, if the way he completely freezes up is anything to go by. “Definitely…” you whisper and tighten your arms just the tiniest bit. But even with all the long lost familiarity slowly returning, you haven’t seen him in over a decade and you most definitely remember Jayce telling you about how he’s particular about his personal space, so it dawns on you that this is in no way appropriate and while you may not want to, you losen your grip and begin to pull back - just in time for the arm that isn’t used to support himself on his cane to loop around your waist and for his cheek to come rest against the top of your head. “Good.” It’s a quiet murmur and if you weren’t as close to him as you are you probably would have missed it, but as things are now, it only makes you more reluctant to let go. So you stay like this for a few moments more, safe and content in each other’s embrace, before you finally release him. He looks at you, opening and closing his mouth a few times; whatever he wanted to say forever remaining a mystery to you as he simply settles for a small, slightly awkward smile instead and then bids you goodbye.

You lock the door behind him, closing your eyes and resting your forehead against the old, worn wood with a shaky exhale; shoulders slumping as your entire body relaxes, screaming out in relief as literal years of anxiety and worry finally let you go, leaving you almost a little lightheaded. The small, joyful smile won’t leave your lips and it escalates into a full blown, slightly delirious laugh, not that you have it in yourself to particularly care at the moment; your beloved childhood friend is finally back in your life, after all.

When you blink your eyes back open, you’re looking at the same dull, white ceiling you have been staring at for the past weeks. The same scratchy hospital bed linens at your back. The same sterile, bleak smell in the air. Flipping over on your side still causes you more trouble than you care for, muscles weak from disuse. Your gaze drifts out the high windows, watching the stars shine against an otherwise dark sky as your mind wanders.

Another memory. Another dream. Another desperate, hopeless attempt of your broken psyche to try and hold together the pieces of your shattered heart. A reminder about simpler, happier times. But those times are long gone, just like he is. Lost to one senseless act of violence that had utterly destroyed any hope for peace that might’ve remained for these two cities. Numb, stiff, useless fingers fumble for the chain around your neck and tug, bringing forth the circular piece of metal from it’s hiding spot under your shirt. The room’s too dark to make out the engraving on the ring and the nerve damage to your hands makes it impossible to feel for it; yet you know exactly what’s written there, you’ll always know. Just like you know that you will always hang on to this piece of jewelry, even though it really doesn’t mean anything anymore. Because it never got the chance to stand for what you’d intended it for. Because you never got the chance to give it to him, even though it had always been meant to be his.

[gotta-winwin]

hii! love the 24 hrs with seventeen event and i was wondering if i could request 3:15 a.m. with wonwoo? maybe something where he's up gaming but reader wakes up hungry and wants him to make some ramen? thank you! love your writing 💗

omg tiya hi! i love your writing too (•̪ o •̪) your christmas series with svt was TOO CUTE ! AND a request for wonwoo, the loml - straight to my heart.

3:15

🌷part of the 24hrs with seventeen series ! request a specific time + activity/scenario to experience it with seventeen yourself !

requests are now closed for this event! thank you to everyone who requested.

You’re kept awake by the glaring light of Wonwoo’s computer and the sound of his keyboard. No matter how many times he’s adjusted his screen’s brightness, it’s still not enough to hide his tendency to game late into the night. His roommate is sound asleep in his room, and you feel suddenly jealous - Mingyu’s obviously getting sleep - while you and your boyfriend are not. 

The only thing saving Wonwoo from your crankiness and lack of sleep is the fact that he looks back at you every time he’s waiting for the next round to load, his eyes full of adoration and mild amusement as you grump. “You love watching me play.” He’d remind you constantly, never forgetting how you had once complimented his skills and how fast his fingers could move - which eventually led to him showing you just how fast - but never mind. 

Wonwoo, who finds it adorable, how you’re restless even when tired, how you pad around his room like you own it - and you basically do. You own the owner of the room, which makes this room yours as much as it is his. It’s evident you’ve colonized his place by the sheer amount of trinkets that are yours, your own drawer, your own section of his shelf for your romance books. He’ll never admit to it, but he’s read through almost everything you bring over, cringing at some - but secretly enjoying most. 

Wonwoo, who knows you’re bored out of your mind but trying to support his interests nevertheless. He’s a perceptive man - he sees your eyerolls whenever he tries schooling you on computer terms you’re unaware of, or how your shoulders shake from a silent sigh whenever he’s yelling out his gaming terms, passionate and on call with his friends. He loves you for just trying because he knows what his interests are aren’t for everyone. 

Wonwoo, who can only smile at you amusedly when you nudge his leg from your side of bed, sprawled out so you can reach him at his gaming chair. His lips thin into his infamous smile when you quietly ask him for ramen, stating that waiting for him to finish has gotten you hungry once again. 

Wonwoo, who wouldn’t trade your nightly routine for anything else in the world. As much as he loves gaming, he loves having a presence next to him more - liking how you’re only ever a step away whenever he needs a break from the virtual world. You make him love reality - it’s that simple. 

Wonwoo, who blows on the steaming ramen before he serves it to you, knowing the countless times you’ve forgotten and had burned your tongue. A bout of satisfaction and pride washes over him when you let out a hum of enjoyment, mumbling through bites of ramen just how much you love his cooking - even if it is just a packet of instant noodles. The satisfaction and pride far outweighs that in which he feels after a win. 

Wonwoo, who abandons his computer in favour of his bed, wrapping his arms around you as he waits for you to drift off. He would never tell you, but he’s never fallen asleep before you - relishing the few pockets of time left before he must relinquish his sight, taking off his glasses and turning you into a blurred figure beside him. He insists your beautiful even as a blurred figure, but Wonwoo likes having your peaceful face be the last thing he sees before sleep comes for him too. 

[whrfchnn]

에이티즈 ! ୨ KEEP IT JUICY JUICY, EAT THAT LUNCH .ᐟ

⭑ Ateez with a chubby girlfriend .ᐟ

Ateez x chubby!fem!reader (individually)

Warnings ! Not edited :( I fear I went a little overboard with the drabbles in seonghwa’s part + lil suggestive in hongjoong’s at the end also some ethel cain vibes with yunho but we love that. I’ve got a sweet drabble for each members which will be posted soon :3

Mona’s notes ! Something soft for my darlings, I hope you enjoy. 3462k words…whoops. Reblogs are appreciated!

✦. ── kim hongjoong .ᐟ 김홍중

𖤐 Joong would 100% design clothing for you all on his own, he knows some brands are blind when it comes to size inclusivity and he hates seeing you go from super excited to self conscious when you finally get the chance to shop for clothes.

𖤐 He’ll spend hours sketching out ideas, finding the right fabrics knowing you’re sensitive to certain materials. Plus this way, he gets to include small meaningful things into his designs that only you two know about, like his initials.

𖤐 He’d constantly remind you that society’s standards are a scam, joong will make it his life mission to make you feel like the most beautiful gorgeous person in the room not only with his designs but with his actions and words of affirmations.

𖤐 I feel like his favourite feature of you would be your waist. When he brings you to a fashion event or anything, he loves wrapping his arms around you so he could slowly and gently rub the side of your tummy.

𖤐 I also feel like if you’re taller than him, he’d be so smitten.

𖤐 Literal stars in his eyes when he looks at you, adoring that soft smile on his face like, “wow…she’s really my girlfriend”.

𖤐 LIKE He loves looking up at you with that cheeky grin, resting his chin on your shoulder he be like, “And what about it?” to anyone who comments on the height difference, “She’s my goddess, of course she’s taller.”

𖤐 If you’re ever feeling down, he will pull out his camera and convince you to model for him. “Trust me, babe, you’re stunning,” he’ll say, positioning you under the best light and capturing candid moments of you laughing or simply existing. Later, he’ll compile all the photos into a little book, labeling it My Favorite Masterpiece.

𖤐 ALSO OMFG

𖤐 Istg he’d wear your initials, either on a charm bracelet, rings, or necklace. He’s wear your full name with zero hesitation or shame but you insisted on the initials for now because of his job sigh.

𖤐 Lil suggestive BUT have you seen those videos of woman doing self portraits with their body? Like sitting on the canvas butt naked with paint on them and going over it to enhance it?

𖤐 YEAH SO imagine gifting him something like that, the outline of your sweet ass and hints of your camel toe drove him up the wall. He hugged the canvas to his body when San tried to see just what was on it that sent joong into a frenzy.

✦. ── park seonghwa .ᐟ 박성화

𖤐 My love, when Seonghwa first saw you it was as if you picked him up by his neck and claimed him as yours.

𖤐 On day one my man was hooked and wanted nothing more than to show you what devotion is.

𖤐 He’s a foodie so he will ensure you eat your meals and snacks daily. I feel like he’d prepare you an over the top dish and write cute notes with it if he’s out and can’t eat with you.

𖤐 Expect self care nights, he loves to take care of you both and pamper you ranging from bubble baths and skincare routines. I’ve got a small drabble for both;

𖤐 Bubble baths !

⤷ The warm water lapped at the sides of the tub as you leaned back against Seonghwa, bubbles piling high around you. It was peaceful, the scent of lavender and vanilla filling the air. Your eyes were half-closed when you felt the subtle shift of his arm behind you.

“What are you doing?” you asked, voice lazy with relaxation.

“Nothing,” he replied, though the playful lilt in his voice betrayed him.

A moment later, you felt it—bubbles being stacked atop your head, the slick slide of foam as he carefully shaped something.

“Seriously?” you laughed, sitting up slightly to catch his grin.

“Hold still,” he teased, leaning closer to perfect his work. His brows knit together in faux concentration, lips quirked up in amusement. “I’m almost done.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but let him continue, feeling the unmistakable shape of a shark fin forming. When he finally sat back to admire his creation, the pride on his face was impossible to ignore.

“There. Perfect,” he announced with a triumphant chuckle. “My very own bubble shark.”

You turned to face him, water sloshing gently as you scooped up a handful of foam. With a quick swipe, you smeared it across his nose and cheeks, earning a gasp of mock outrage.

“Now you’re next,” you said with a smirk.

𖤐 Skincare routine !

⤷ Seonghwa’s lap was warm beneath you, your knees resting on either side of his hips as you faced him. The faint glow of candlelight flickered across the room, casting a golden hue over the array of skincare products spread out on the table beside you. The soft cotton of the Light Fury headband around your head kept your hair neatly away from your face, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Seonghwa’s matching Toothless one.

“One second Princess,” he murmured, voice low and soothing as he smoothed the face mask over your cheeks with gentle fingers. His brow furrowed in concentration, tongue peeking out slightly as he carefully applied the cool, creamy mixture.

“You take this way too seriously,” you teased, though the fondness in your voice betrayed you.

“And you don’t take it seriously enough,” he countered, his lips quirking into a soft grin as he leaned back to admire his work. “There. Perfect.”

You smiled softly and but couldn’t hide the warmth in your chest as he reached for a towel to clean his hands. Before you could shift or move, his hands found their way to your waist, sliding slowly down to rest on your stomach.

The touch was light at first, his palms gliding up and down your sides, the warmth of his fingers seeping through your oversized shirt. Then he gave your tummy a soft, affectionate squeeze, his thumbs brushing over the gentle curves there.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice softer now, almost shy.

“Appreciating you,” he said simply, his gaze meeting yours with an honesty that made your breath catch. His hands continued their slow, loving exploration, his thumbs drawing lazy patterns as he squeezed you again, this time with a little more intention. “You’re so beautiful.”

You huffed a quiet laugh, trying to hide the way his words flustered you. “We’re supposed to be waiting for these masks to dry, not… whatever this is.”

“Waiting is boring,” he said with a sly smile, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your nose. “This is better.”

You sighed, feigning exasperation, but melted into his touch as his hands stayed firm and comforting on your body, grounding you in the moment. The quiet hum of music in the background mixed with the sound of your breathing, and for a while, the world outside didn’t exist.

✦. ── jeong yunho .ᐟ 정윤호

𖤐 Just carve out his heart and eat it please. Let him become one with you.

𖤐 He’s the kind of man who views his love as sacred, almost religious. To him, loving you feels like fulfilling a divine purpose. You are his universe, his North Star, and he orbits around you willingly.

𖤐 He adores your softness—physically, emotionally, spiritually.

𖤐 He’s constantly touching you, whether it’s tracing circles on your thighs, resting his head against your stomach while lying on the couch, or pressing kisses to your arms while you cook.

𖤐 I’m telling you right now, yunho isn’t shy about expressing his love. He tells you daily, in ways that range from poetic declarations—“You feel like the home I’ve been searching for my whole life”—to soft-spoken affirmations, whispered against your ear when you wake up.

𖤐 He loves seeing you confident, but he thrives on the quiet moments when you’re vulnerable, trusting him enough to show the parts of yourself you usually hide. To Yunho, those moments are where your beauty shines brightest.

𖤐 To me, he’s more so protective than possessive on occasions, always prioritizing your comfort and well-being.

𖤐 Anyone who even tries to make a comment about your body in a negative way will be met with that cold, cutting stare. Yum.

𖤐 He wants to become one with you—not just physically but spiritually. He dreams of the day he can say, “This is the life we’ve built together.”

✦. ── kang yeosang .ᐟ 강여상

𖤐 Yeo-yeo is more of a subtle admirer, he is quiet about his affection but his actions speak volumes.

𖤐 He’d casually drape his jacket over your shoulder, pull you closer with an arm secure around your waist, and compliment you in ways that make your heart flutter.

𖤐 His eyes OMFG, he talks with his eyes. If you were out with friends having dinner or something and see him looking at you, you can easily interpret what he’s saying, “You look beautiful” or “Come here, I want to hold you.”

𖤐 He’s your personal photographer, and not those who stand in one place and take a picture no, he will do whatever to get the perfect shot. If he has to get on his knees or raise his arms while already standing on an elevated platform, he will.

𖤐 He loves capturing candid pictures of you. Whether it’s your soft smile, your laughter, or just the way you look at him, he treasures every photo. And when you criticize yourself in photos, he’ll firmly say, “What are you talking about? You look incredible, don’t you ever disrespect my girlfriend like that.”

𖤐 Also 🥹

𖤐 Yeosang remembers everything you tell him, no matter how insignificant you think it is. Months later, he’ll bring up that obscure snack you mentioned liking as a kid or a book you said you wanted to read, often surprising you with it. “You said you wanted this, right?” he’ll say casually, like it’s no big deal, even though you’re stunned he remembered.

𖤐 If you have a unique fashion sense, he doesn’t just hype it up, he matches your energy. He’ll subtly coordinate his outfits with yours, ensuring you both look like you stepped out of a fashion editorial without stealing your thunder TEHE.

𖤐 This made me cry but

𖤐 If you ever feel down or insecure, Yeosang’s words are like a balm. He’ll remind you of your strengths and beauty without hesitation, often framing his encouragement as a matter of fact. “You’re incredible. Anyone who doesn’t see that doesn’t deserve to know you.”

𖤐 While he’s fine with going out, his ideal date is staying in, curled up with you under a blanket while you watch a movie or talk for hours. He loves the intimacy of those quiet moments where it feels like the world is just the two of you.

✦. ── choi san .ᐟ 최산

𖤐 AGH I LOVE THIS MAN.

𖤐 He will NEVER miss an opportunity to tell you how beautiful you are. He’s the type to bombard you with compliments like, “You’re so cute” or “You’re so sexy,” often in the same breath.

𖤐 SAURRR MUCH PDA

𖤐 And he’s unapologetic about being affectionate in public. Whether it’s holding your hand, a thumb stroking your knuckles, full-on bear hugs, wrapping his arm around your waist, or outright kissing you in front of others, San LOVES showing the world how proud he is to have you.

𖤐 He loves wrapping his big arms around you from behind and holding your tummy in his hands, he’d sway you side to side just chilling on you like a koala. If you try to move, he’ll groan and pull you closer, mumbling with a pout, “nope, you’re stuck with me now.”

𖤐 I feel like he’d definitely tease you, he’ll poke your cheeks or pinch your sides and call you adorable, but he never crosses the line.

𖤐 How to keep it playful and always follows up with a sincere, “I love every part of you.”

𖤐 I also feel like if he ever found out he made you cry after teasing you, he’ll dig his own grave. he’d do everything in his power to make it up to you, but he’ll never be able to forgive himself or get rid of that ache in his heart :((

𖤐 If you jokingly ask him something like “can you even lift my weight?” he’ll bench you right there and then, no need to go to the gym to show you.

𖤐 He’s your biggest fan in everything you do. Whether it’s a hobby, work, or even just picking out an outfit, he’ll hype you up like you’re the greatest in the world. “That’s my girl!” he’ll shout playfully, clapping dramatically, making you laugh and blush at the same time.

𖤐 Yk despite his playful nature, San has a deeply emotional and nurturing side. On tough days, he’ll hold you close, stroking your hair and whispering affirmations. “You’re everything to me, you know that? I’m so lucky to have you.” His voice is calm and steady, grounding you in the warmth of his love.

𖤐 If you jokingly ask him something like “can you even lift my weight?” he’ll bench you right there and then, no need to go to the gym to show you.

⤷ “San, I don’t think you can lift me,” you teased, a mischievous grin playing on your lips.

His head snapped toward you, eyes wide with mock offense. “Oh, really? Is that a challenge?”

Before you could respond, he was on his feet, grabbing your hands and pulling you up with him. “San, no!” you squealed, laughing as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Too late,” he said with a playful smirk, easily hoisting you up bridal-style. “See? Light as a feather.”

You couldn’t stop laughing, your arms looping around his neck as he spun you around. “Okay, okay, I believe you!”

He set you down gently but didn’t let go, his arms still secure around your waist. Leaning in, he kissed your forehead softly. “Never doubt me again,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing, but his eyes were filled with nothing but love.

𖤐 He’s so serious about you I can’t even type I’m blushing so hard bye.

✦. ── song mingi .ᐟ 송민기

𖤐 GIVE HIM A CHUBBY BADDIE AND HE WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO HE’S THAT WHIPPED.

𖤐 Like he’s already smitten, but if you dress up or put in any effort, Mingi is left absolutely speechless, stammering out compliments like, “You… you’re literally the hottest person alive.”

𖤐 He LOVES cuddles and is all about physical affection. He’ll wrap himself around you like a blanket and tell you how soft and cozy you are, he loves pressing his cheek against yours and resting his hands on either your lower back or love handles, being close to you is his happy place, and he’ll never pass up a chance to cuddle.

𖤐 NUMBER ONE HYPE KING.

𖤐 He’ll randomly yell things like, “THAT’S MY BABY!” if you’re walking by him or just doing anything that makes you look confident.

𖤐 He loves boosting your self-esteem in the loudest, most Mingi way possible.

𖤐 I feel like you guys would have this little playful thing where he pretends he doesn’t know you and when walking past you he double takes, turning his body around to check out the bunda with them elevator eyes. He’d jog up to you and ask if you’ve got a boyfriend, also throwing in ‘mami’ mhm idc I said what I said.

𖤐 OOO he’d definitely bling you out so you’re matching. If he’s wearing a chain, you’re wearing a chain. If he got them rings on, so do you.

✦. ── jung wooyoung .ᐟ 정우영

𖤐 Woo is all about showing you off yessirrr.

𖤐 He’ll post pictures of you together on his social media with captions like, “My Queen 🤗” making sure everyone knows he’s proud of you. He’ll talk about you to his friends, constantly raving about how lucky he is. “Have you met her? She’s amazing,” he’ll brag to anyone who will listen — actually that doesn’t matter, he will make them listen.

𖤐 He loves cooking for you, especially if it means seeing you enjoy food without guilt or self-consciousness. “Food is meant to be enjoyed, babe,” he’ll say, feeding you bites of whatever he’s made. He’s adamant on making sure to remind you that there’s no need to feel guilty for indulging.

𖤐 OML ON THAT NOTE he’ll definitely spoon feed you, making sure it's not too hot by blowing on it and checking the temperature with his lips before feeding you (yk where this came from mhm)

𖤐 He’s always got your back and will defend you no matter what, wooyoung has zero tolerance for body shaming. If anyone makes a rude comment, he’ll roast them into oblivion and then reassure you and make sure their stupid comments don't get to you.

𖤐 Wooyoung is extremely protective of you, especially when it comes to anything that could affect your confidence or self-image.

𖤐 If anyone dares to make rude or body-shaming comments, he won’t hesitate to speak up. He’ll roast them in oblivion and make sure they know exactly where they stand. Afterward, he’ll be there for you, reassuring you and reminding you how beautiful you are, inside and out. “They don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re perfect, babe, and I love you

𖤐 He’s the type to always want to be physically close to you. Whether it’s holding your hand, resting his head on your shoulder, or wrapping his arm around you while watching a movie, he just loves being near you.

𖤐 He’ll even sneak up behind you for surprise hugs or kisses, just to make sure you know you’re loved. “I just want to hold you,” he’ll say, snuggling up to you on the couch or in bed.

✦. ── choi jongho .ᐟ 최종호

𖤐 Baby bear 🥹

𖤐 Jongho’s love isn’t loud or showy, but it’s steady and unwavering. He’s the type to show his devotion through actions rather than words.

𖤐 Whether it’s making sure you’re comfortable or going out of his way to do something thoughtful for you, he always lets you know that you’re a priority in his life without needing to shout it from the rooftops.

𖤐 Jongii is so incredible observant when it comes to you. He’ll remember your favorite foods, the things that make you laugh, and the small gestures that bring you joy.

𖤐 If you’re feeling a little off, he’ll notice it before you even mention it and do something to make you feel better, whether it’s bringing you a hot drink or quietly holding your hand. “I noticed you were quiet today,” he’ll say, his voice soft but concerned. “Is everything okay?”

𖤐 Jongho loves showing off his strength, but he’s soft with you. feeling down about your body, he’ll remind you of all the ways you’re amazing, saying things like, “Your body is strong and beautiful, just like you.”

𖤐 Jongho is a quiet romantic, and nothing says “I love you” to him more than sharing his music with you. He’ll often hum or sing softly when you’re together, his voice like a lullaby that wraps around you.

𖤐 Sometimes, he’ll even make up little songs just for you, serenading you in the most tender way. “You make me feel so lucky,” he might sing, smiling at you as you relax by his side. His voice is comforting, and hearing him sing just for you feels like a gentle, loving embrace.

𖤐 Jongho doesn’t need grand displays of affection to show you he cares; it’s in the little things. He’s the type to send you thoughtful texts during the day, reminding you to take care of yourself. If you’re feeling tired, he’ll offer to take on a chore for you, or if you’re out together, he’ll carry your bags without a second thought. His gestures might be small, but they’re full of meaning, and they’re his way of saying, “I love you and I’m here for you.”

𖤐 Honestly? When Jongho loves you, he loves you deeply. He’s not the type to fall in love lightly, and once he’s in, he’s all in. You’ll find him sharing little details about his life, his hopes, and dreams, trusting you with the parts of him he usually keeps hidden. “I’ve never been able to open up like this before,” he’ll admit, his voice sincere. “But with you… it feels easy.”

Copyright © 2023 whrfchnn! All fanfics belong to me and only me, I don’t give permission for my work to be translated, published to another site, or copied.

[butlervibesonly]

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑖𝑠𝑙𝑒 | Austin Burler

• SUMMARY: Ashley, Austin’s sister, is checking up on her soon to be sister in law, and on her brother too before their wedding, to find out they’re both nervous wreck’s and, well… So made for each other.

• PAIRING: Austin Butler x female reader + Austin’s sister is included 🥰

• WARNINGS: nothing just fluff and most cute nervousness before wedding, maybe typos

“Oh my gosh, Y/n!” you hear Ashley gasp. You're counting down the last minutes until the ceremony. By now, your friends, who helped you with your dress and makeup, also had to get ready, so you were alone in your room. “You look absolutely gorgeous, Y/n!”

You fix some details on your dress, smiling at Ashley who also looks so beautiful in her dress. “Thank you, Ash.” As Ashley comes closer to you, she helps to adjust your veil. “How are you feeling?” she asks, noticing the nervousness in your eyes.

"Honestly?” you sigh. “I feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest. I’m so nervous. What if... what if something goes wrong? What if I mess up, or he realizes—" Before you can even finish this sentence, Ashley stops you.

"Whoa, slow down. Let me stop you right there. First of all, nothing is going to go wrong, alright? And second you’re marrying my brother and he loves you. Like, completely, unconditionally, can’t-stop-talking-about-you loves you."

You laugh softly and nervously “He does talk a lot, doesn’t he?" Ashley nods while taking your hands in hers. "Oh, trust me, nonstop. He’s been like this since the day he met you. You should hear him when you’re not around. You’re his world, Y/n. And I’ve never seen him so happy."

Ashley’s words make your eyes filled with tears. You can’t believe you’re here, few minutes before marrying the man of your dreams forever. “Really?” you smile surprisingly at her.

“I wouldn’t joke about this. You’re everything he ever wanted. And trust me — this day is the day he always dreamed about.” Ashley was like your sister since the day one. She supports you in everything and loves you like you have always been the part of family.

“I just... don’t want to let him down, you know.”

“You won’t. Just be yourself as you are always “, Y/n, and this day will be perfect. You’ve got this, okay? And we all love you not only him!” Her hands are on your shoulders as he is looking into your eyes - with those eyes that are so familiar to Austin’s.

“Woah, thank you... really. You guys are the best thing that could ever happen to me.” you say, relieved. Ashley wraps her arms around you to pull you into a gentle hug as she doesn’t want to ruin your beautiful dress.

“Anytime. You’ll be part of family after all,” you two giggle. “Now, take another deep breath, and you will make my brother the luckiest man alive in any second.” she says and before she leaves, she turns in the door. “But first let me check on him,” she smirks making you laugh.

As Ashley knocks on her brother’s room, walking in she sees Austin adjusting his tie in the mirror. “Knock, knock. How’s the groom doing?” Austin lets out a breath, running a hand through his “Oh, you know... I’m so nervous. Like I have never been.”

Ashley smiles widely, remembering you told her the exact same thing. “Yea, definitely soulmates…” she murmurs, coming closer to help Austin with his tie. “What was that?” Austin asks as he didn’t understand what Ashley said.

“Oh, nothing. Just confirming what I already knew. You two are perfect for each other.” she replies and is done with his tie. Austin sits down on the bed with a deep sight. “I just... I don’t want to mess this up, you know? She’s everything to me. What if—“

“Nope. Don’t even go there. Listen to me, you’re not going to mess anything up, okay? You are over the heels about Y/n since the day one, do you know how I know?” Ashley looks at her brother as he furrows his eyebrows, waiting for what she wants to tell him.

“Because you never stop talking about Y/n, Austin. I’ve never seen you happier over anyone else like this. She’s good for you. And more importantly, you’re good for her. She loves you just as much as you love her, maybe even more-.

Austin smiles softly, taking notes of what Ashley says. “So stop worrying. She’s walking down that aisle because she wants to. All you have to do is be there, say 'I do,' and try not to cry much."

“No, no… Absolutely no promises on the crying part.” Austin says, pointing at the emergency tissue in his pocket. Ashley laughs, and as Austin stand up, they both hug,

“Remember, Aus, you’ve got this. You’re her everything, her friend, her partner in crime, her future husband. Now take a deep breath and let’s go make her Mrs. Butler.” Austin nods and as the clocks ticks the time of the ceremony, that is where your future begins. Your future as Mr. and Mrs. Butler.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Bridal Visions: Photoshoot #6 - Natlan Bridal - Quite So Charming

Summary: Ororon in a suit was most certainly not something you were used to seeing. But there was something undeniably charming about it. But then, Ororon had a brand of charm all of his own.

Type: Female reader/ 800 Followers Event/ series/ sfw/ fluff/

Bridal Visions Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1031

I sat awkwardly smiling as I watched Chiori, the photographer, and Ororon walk around, flaring out my skirt so that it covered a large portion of the wooden floor I knelt on.

And even though I knew next to nothing about design, I knew exactly what was being gone for in this photograph. The designer of this wedding gown, Chiori herself, wanted the skirt in all its glossy white glory to be shown off in all its magnificence.

In all honesty, though, I was far more distracted by the sight of Ororon in his dark-colored suit and vest.

It was a stark contrast to his usual clothes that were ripped and highlighted with bright blues and purples. 

And then there was the fact of how he didn’t have his usual hood to hide behind. Instead, I could see his face, eyes, and fluffy ears clearly for once. And it was oddly endearing in a way that made me understand even more fully than I had before why Traveler chose him to model a groom’s attire for this photoshoot.

After all, it was a good look for him, if starkly different from his usual one. But Ororon wasn’t an unattractive young man by any means.

I fully assumed that I’d been chosen due to how comfortable with me Ororon was. In fact, I wouldn’t put it past him to have asked if I was the person he was going to be modeling these clothes with.

I could hardly complain, though. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever worn something so fancy as this dress, and who knew if I ever would again.

All glossy, pristine white satin and backless so that the pearls that draped from shoulder to shoulder could be seen clearly against my back, the dress certainly was beyond beautiful, perfectly grandiose, and yet oddly simplistic with the way it leaned into the pure white of the gown.

Perhaps my favorite part of the entire outfit was the lacy mantilla veil that was attached to my head by a narrow tiara whose pearls matched the back of the dress. Somehow it perfectly completed the entire look, and it was a fight to not fidget with its delicate edges as I watched them finish fanning out my dress.

And while I might have never met Chiori until today, I could certainly say I respected her taste in clothes. And while I certainly wasn’t planning my wedding at the moment, I fully imagined this dress would haunt me.

In fact, a small part of me hoped I would be able to request the dress as payment since she’d made it specifically to my measurements, just like how she’d perfectly tailored the suit to Ororon. Though I wasn’t sure how to even start going about making such a request.

“Alright. I want you to lay down on the skirt now, Ororon, with your head near where she’s at,” Chiori gestured lightly to the sleek fabric as she spoke, and Ororon almost immediately frowned. Starting forward several times before looking up at me with an unsure gaze that had me tilting his head at him.

“What’s wrong?” My question mirrored the confusion on the photographer’s face as Ororon continued to hesitate before he shook his head slightly, “I don’t want to step on the skirt and get it dirty….”

I giggled lightly at his words, shaking my head even as I spoke, “Then just kneel at the edge and crawl forward till you’re on the skirt and roll over.”

I watched silently, smiling in amusement as he did as I instructed. First kneeling awkwardly and then carefully crawling onto the skirt before flopping over and looking up at me with an oddly blank expression, causing me to snicker.

Because despite my early thoughts of how endearing seeing him in a groom’s suit like this was, he was also painfully awkward in a way that spoke of exactly how unused to wearing suits he was.

I glanced over to see Chiori looking at him with raised eyebrows even as she stepped back out of the line of the camera. And though I truly adored Ororon, I could hardly blame her. I highly doubted Ororon, or even myself, was what she’d expected to receive as models for her bridal line.

I glanced back down at where Ororon lay next to me, his head just beside my hip as he looked up at me with a characteristically innocent stare that had me tilting my head at him yet again. Idly wondering what exactly was going through his head before he spoke up, “You look really pretty.”

I blinked at his words, my eyes widening at the perfectly blunt honesty that made his words far more flustering than any teasing could have ever been.

I reached down though, idly brushing hair out of his mismatched eyes as a smile slipped onto my face, “So do you. Different than usual, but still really nice.”

 Without any warning the shutter of the camera went off right as he smiled slightly up at me, something softening in his gaze that I almost missed as I realized our picture had just been taken.

He blinked, his ears twitching slightly at the sound before he turned, and I glanced over, quietly hoping that neither of us had our eyes shut in the image as Chiori leaned over before nodding approvingly as she looked at the camera’s screen. Apparently satisfied with the image.

“That’ll do nicely, thank you,” She looked over at us as she spoke, and both me and Ororon nodded as I rested my hands on my lap.

“Of course,” Ororon’s voice was soft as he sat up before glancing back at me and nodding slightly before he looked back at Chiori. “Thank you for letting us wear these clothes.”

Chiori blinked at his words, looking taken aback, but I could hardly blame her. To those who weren’t used to it, Ororon’s level of politeness paired with his rather awkward nature could come as a surprise.

But in the end, it was all a part of who he was and was also what made the image of him as a groom quite so charming.

If you would like to read more:

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Next: Coming Soon!

[laurentspup]

PLEASE

A ficlet order if you still accept: laurent works in an office🥺

That's it, my request is just this one, the rest you can do as you wish

I just work in an office and I need a fanfic like this

If it's cute I'll just die of happiness🥺❤️

my dearest anon,

i know i am four years late but i want you to know that i have NEVER forgotten this fic. you are in my mind, you are in every other fic i ever wrote. i wanted to finish this fic so bad for you. i wanted to write this fic so bad. it just took me four years, but i NEVER abandoned the fic. it was always in my mind.

i hope you're still here. i hope you get to read this fic. i hope it makes you happy.

happy new year.

It's Never Just Coffee

“I will never date a coworker, Ancel. Never.” Laurent turns on the coffee machine. Ancel snickers in his cup. “Never?” “Ever.” Laurent is adamant. “But that man is the most gorgeous person I have ever seen.”

It started out as just coffee. But when you see the most gorgeous man ever, it's never just coffee, isn't it?

Lil snippet

At 7:50 am, Laurent arrives at the office. There is a man occupying the cubicle next to him that has been empty for two weeks now. He didn’t think the company was hiring another person. He’s enjoying finally feeling like getting an office to himself. But alas, here is a man, his back to Laurent, curls on his head, a button down that looks too tight on a body that seems too big for his swivel chair. May his ego not be bigger than.

Laurent sits at his desk nonchalantly. In his periphery, he sees the man turn to him, take a pause, which could only mean one thing , and then tap his shoulder.

Laurent puts his resting bitch face on. He isn’t at work for chit-chat. He is… just not for newbies. But he stops briefly when he sees this man’s face, this hunk, this beautiful man with big brown eyes and kissable lips and…

“Hi,” He presents his hand. Laurent doesn’t look at it nor raise his own. “I’m Damianos. I’m new. Call me Damen, your cubicle buddy.”

Shit. 

Laurent composes himself slower than he usually does, trying his hardest not to give Damianos—Damen, a once over from head to… toe. Instead, he nods and shakes the man’s hand. “Laurent.” He faces his computer. He checks his emails and doesn’t look at Damen again.

At 8:10, he gets up to make his second cup of coffee in the breakroom. Ancel is already there by the machine, sipping his coffee and wiggling his eyebrows.

“I will never date a coworker, Ancel. Never.” Laurent turns on the coffee machine. 

Ancel snickers in his cup. “Never?”

“Ever.” Laurent is adamant. “But that man is the most gorgeous person I have ever seen.” 

“You’re fucked.”

“The. Most. Gorgeous.” Laurent opens three packets of creamer. “So I will never talk to him unless necessary.”

“Yeah, you’re so fucked.” Ancel nudges his head to the door. 

[lev1berry]

DISCHARGED ｡ ｡ ｡ リヴァイ

( 𝓢 ) ﹕ he finds himself unexpectedly falling for you

in which levi ackerman, accustomed to a life of duty and emotional detachment, starts to change when he's injured and cared for by a nurse. initially indifferent, he gradually grows fond of her quiet kindness and begins to desire more. as his walls break down, he struggles with the fear of revealing his inner scars, uncertain about this unexpected connection.

──── levi ackerman x nurse! r ╱ ⌕ ???2lovers, fluff ∿ w. unethical relationship (nurse x patient) , romantic relationship , unestablished relationship , mutual pinning , feminine terms used , levi having a crush , brief mention of despersion , not proofread wc. 8.6k (8,611) ｡ ｡ inspired by this post by @levisrations the amount of times I rewrote this should be illegal

☆ 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 resigned himself to a life devoid of love. His world was one of duty and survival, where attachments were liabilities and emotions were weaknesses. But life, unpredictable as always, decided to challenge that belief in the most unexpected way. When he was confined to a hospital bed, broken and weary, you entered his life—not as a savior, but as a nurse assigned to care for him.

At first, Levi regarded you with indifference. You were efficient, professional, and kind, but he kept his walls firmly in place. He convinced himself that you were just doing your job, and he was just another patient in your care. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, something began to change.

It wasn’t a grand, dramatic moment that shifted his perspective. It was the quiet moments: the way you patiently listened to his curt remarks without taking offense, the soft smile you gave him when you thought he wasn’t looking, the way you treated him not as a soldier or a broken man but simply as Levi. Piece by piece, you slipped past his defenses, and he didn’t even realize it until it was too late.

For the first time in years, Levi found himself wanting something more. He looked forward to your presence in a way that unsettled him, and the thought of you not being there filled him with a strange, unfamiliar ache. But with that longing came fear—fear of letting you see the scars he had buried deep within. Not just the ones on his body, but the ones etched into his very soul.

Levi tried to suppress his feelings, convincing himself that you deserved better. Someone whole, someone unburdened by the weight of the past. He told himself he was protecting you, sparing you from the pain of being tethered to a man like him. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t deny the truth: you had become more than just a nurse to him.

Anyway, that plan didn’t work out. He wasn’t surprised; after all, things rarely went his way. Life had taught him that expecting anything more was a fool’s game. Still, he had hoped—foolishly, it seemed—that distancing himself from you would be enough to smother the feelings blooming in his chest. But it didn’t. If anything, his emotions only grew stronger with each passing day.

Hurray… What a cruel irony. Every time you walked into the room, every time your voice filled the air, it was like pouring gasoline on a fire he couldn’t extinguish. He wanted to hate it, to hate himself for feeling this way, but he couldn’t. You had become the one thing he couldn’t push away, no matter how hard he tried.

And it wasn’t just your kindness or your beauty that had undone him—it was the way you carried yourself, the way you looked at the world with such hope and grace. It was the way you treated him like he was something more than his scars, his past, or his title. You were so effortlessly… you. Bright, compassionate, full of life. You were everything he wasn’t—caring, gentle, and full of a light that seemed almost otherworldly. To him, you were the most gorgeous person he had ever met, not just in appearance but in spirit. And the more he dwelled on that, the more his hope diminished.

And he? He was just… him. A man burdened by too many failures, too many regrets, and too many scars to count. He felt like a shadow standing in the glow of your light. How could someone like you ever harbor love for someone like him? The thought was laughable, absurd even.

Levi clenched his fists, his jaw tightening at the ache blooming in his chest. This would hurt him, he was certain it would. There was no scenario where this ended with you looking at him the way he looked at you. No world where someone as extraordinary as you could ever fall for a man as broken as him.

And yet, despite the certainty of his own heartbreak, he couldn’t stop himself from caring. From wanting. From dreaming of the impossible, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. You were a flame, and he was a moth doomed to burn. And somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to turn away.

In the quiet of his heart, a small, fragile hope begins to grow. Perhaps, just perhaps, you are the one person who can show him that even the most shattered souls are capable of love.

He sighed deeply, the sound barely audible in the quiet of his room, as he lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. Once again, his mind was plagued with thoughts of you. This had been happening more frequently than he cared to admit, and no matter how hard he tried to shake it off, you always found your way into his thoughts.

Levi rubbed a hand over his face, as if the motion could wipe away the image of you that lingered in his mind. It was impossible, though. The memory of your kindness was seared into him. The way you spoke to him—not with pity, but with genuine care—was something he wasn’t used to. And that smile of yours… God, that smile. It was radiant, warm, and so effortlessly beautiful that it made his chest ache.

And your eyes. Those breathtaking eyes. They held a light he couldn’t quite describe, a spark that seemed to draw him in every time he was fortunate enough to catch a glimpse. He swore the world felt quieter when you looked at him, as if for that brief moment, nothing else existed but you. It was maddening how much power those fleeting glances had over him.

The more he thought about you, the deeper the ache in his chest grew. Because with every second spent imagining your laughter, your touch, your presence, he was also reminded of the harsh truth: someone like you could never feel the same way about someone like him. Levi wasn’t the type of man who inspired affection or love. He was stoic, scarred, and far too broken to be worthy of someone as extraordinary as you.

Levi closed his eyes, the weight of his unspoken feelings pressing down on him like a lead blanket. It was a cruel torment, to be so utterly captivated by you while knowing his chances were as slim as the stars aligning. Yet, no matter how much it hurt, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about you. You had become his solace and his torment all at once—a beautiful dream that he could never truly hold.

It's not like it's impossible for you to feel the same…it's just that it's unlikely.

As if on cue, the door creaked open slowly, the sound breaking the silence and drawing his attention. His eyes shifted toward the doorway, where he caught sight of you peeking inside, your hand resting lightly on the frame. And then, with a smile that could rival the sun, you stepped fully into the room, your presence instantly filling the once-empty space with warmth.

Well, speak of the angel. His breath hitched slightly, though he masked it with a quiet exhale. “Y/n…” The name slipped from his lips in a hushed whisper, barely audible, almost as if it wasn’t meant to be heard. It was a reflex, really—an involuntary reaction to the sight of you. He would never admit it out loud, but seeing you again felt like the highlight of his day.

No, it was the highlight of his day. The hours leading up to this moment had been nothing short of agonizing. He knew you were busy tending to other patients, carrying out your duties, being your usual diligent self, but that didn’t make it any easier. Every second without you had dragged on painfully, each minute feeling like an eternity. He had spent the entire day counting down the time, his gaze flickering to the clock more often than he’d care to admit.

And now you were here, standing in front of him, your eyes bright and full of that familiar kindness that always seemed to soften the edges of his otherwise harsh reality. He tried to keep his expression neutral, to maintain the stoic facade he always wore, but deep down, he felt something stir—a quiet relief, a sense of peace that only your presence seemed to bring.

If he were honest with himself, painfully, brutally honest, he’d admit that he wished you didn’t have to divide your attention among others. The selfish part of him (one he didn’t even know existed until you came along) wanted you all to himself. He wanted your care, your time, your smile to be for him and him alone. The thought was absurd, he knew that. But it lingered all the same, persistent and unshakable.

Still, Levi kept those thoughts buried, tucked away where they couldn’t betray him. Instead, he simply watched you, his gray eyes following your every movement as you approached him. The day had been long, but now that you were here, he could finally breathe a little easier—even if he’d never tell you just how much your presence meant to him.

His gaze instinctively roamed over you, taking in every detail as if committing you to memory. From the way your hair frames your face to the way you carried yourself, everything about you seemed to radiate a kind of effortless charm that left him momentarily breathless. Before he realized it, a faint smile crept onto his lips, one so small it was almost imperceptible. It was rare for him to smile at all, but with you, it felt… natural.

Of course, his fleeting expression went unnoticed. You were too busy looking at him with that warm, familiar gaze of yours, the one that seemed to reach straight into his chest and wrap around his heart. Your smile, soft yet dazzling, pulled him in further, like a tether he couldn’t escape—and didn’t want to.

His steel-gray eyes, usually so sharp and guarded, unconsciously softened as they locked onto you. The tension he carried in his shoulders eased, his hardened exterior melting away, if only for a moment. It wasn’t something he could control; it was simply the effect you had on him.

What a sight for sore eyes… The thought drifted through his mind unbidden, and for once, he didn’t try to push it away. It was true, after all. You were a breath of fresh air in the otherwise suffocating monotony of his days. Your presence was a balm, soothing the edges of his often jagged world. He realized that he could spend an eternity in your presence and still not grow tired of the sight.

“I got some good news,” you started excitedly as you made your way closer to his bed, the sound of your voice full of joy. You leaned even closer, your face now so near his that you could almost feel the warmth of his breath. His cheeks flushed ever so slightly, a subtle but telling reaction to your proximity.

“Go on,” Levi encouraged, his voice low and calm, but there was a hint of curiosity in his eyes as he awaited the news.

You beamed, unable to hold back your excitement. “You're getting discharged tomorrow! Isn't that great?”

At first, Levi’s expression softened into what seemed to be a small, content smile, but it faded almost instantly, replaced by a frown that tugged at his features. His gaze dropped to his lap, his fingers nervously twitching against the bedsheet. Great? How is this great? The word felt almost alien in his mind, a stark contrast to the wave of uncertainty that washed over him. Tomorrow, he would be free to leave the sterile walls of the hospital, but that meant he'd have to say goodbye. He wouldn’t be able to see you every day, to hear your voice or feel the warmth of your presence beside him.

The thought gnawed at him. Even though he was supposed to feel relief, there was a knot of unease tightening in his chest. “I… guess it’s good,” Levi muttered, his tone laced with a complexity that didn’t quite match the excitement you had shown.

You noticed the sudden shift in his demeanor. Your heart sank, but you quickly masked the concern on your face with a smile, trying to cheer him up. “Hey, you’re finally getting out of here. It’s something to be happy about, right?”

As much as Levi wouldn’t admit it, he didn’t want to leave just yet. Not until he found the courage to tell you how he truly felt, a confession he’d buried deep down for far too long. He’d been planning to speak up for ages, but the right moment never seemed to come. And now, here it was: he was being discharged tomorrow, and it felt like his world was about to shift in a way he wasn’t ready for. The truth was, he wasn’t ready to leave you behind, not without at least saying something.

In a panic, his mind scrambled for a reason, any reason, to delay his release. He didn’t care if it was silly or unreasonable. All he knew was that he couldn’t leave yet. Maybe he could convince them to keep him here for a little longer, maybe even longer than that. Anything to stall for time.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said, his voice wavering for the first time in a long while. He paused, struggling to come up with the right words, but the silence only amplified the urgency in his mind. “I can’t walk with this…” His gaze fell heavily on his leg, his eyes momentarily losing focus as if the sight of it somehow made him feel even more trapped by his own hesitation. His leg was still wrapped in bandages, the healing process a reminder of the physical limitations that had left him stuck in the hospital for what felt like forever.

You stared at him for a moment, the weight of his words hanging in the air between you, before something inside you clicked. And then, it hit you: you knew exactly what he was trying to do. You couldn’t help it; a burst of laughter escaped your lips, light and carefree, as the absurdity of the moment struck you. The tension that had been building inside you melted away as you giggled, shaking your head in disbelief.

Levi’s eyes widened, a mix of confusion and annoyance flashing across his face. He hadn’t expected you to laugh, especially not at a time like this. “What?” he muttered, clearly not understanding why you were laughing at his predicament.

You managed to calm yourself down, though a few soft chuckles still slipped out. Wiping your eyes, you met his gaze again, your words carrying the remnants of your amusement. “Don’t worry about that,” you said, your voice light with affection, “we have a wheelchair for that.”

The realization hit him with a jolt, and he cursed inwardly. He had almost forgotten about the advances in Marley’s medical technology. In this world, they had more than just crutches or walkers—they had efficient, well-designed wheelchairs that would make his current condition nothing more than a slight inconvenience. That was his whole excuse, shattered in an instant.

Levi’s head dropped, and he exhaled a heavy sigh, trying to think of something else that could give him a little more time. But the truth was, there wasn’t much he could do to hold on any longer. He was trapped by his own thoughts, by the ticking clock and the weight of his unspoken feelings.

"I'll leave you to get some rest."

Your voice sliced through the haze of his thoughts like a soft breeze, stirring him from the swirling confusion in his mind. Levi’s heart skipped a beat at your words, his mouth opening slightly as if he had something important to say. He was about to call out to you, to ask you to stay just a little longer, to hold on to this fragile moment before you disappeared from his reach. But the words caught in his throat, and by the time he managed to look up, the door was already closing behind you. The soft click of it sealing shut was like the final nail in the coffin, the sound marking the moment when he knew he had missed his chance.

Damn it.

He let out a frustrated sigh, his shoulders slumping as he turned his head to rest against the pillow. His mind raced with all the things he should have said, all the things he had wanted to say, but now it was too late. He was left with nothing but the bitter taste of regret. Why had he hesitated? Why hadn’t he just told you?

As he closed his eyes, the thoughts continued to spiral through his mind like a never-ending storm. What would have happened if he had confessed how he truly felt? Would you have looked at him with surprise, maybe even a smile, and confessed that you felt the same way? Or would you have rejected him outright, laughed at the idea that someone like him could ever be worthy of your affection?

The thought stung, but as he considered it, Levi found himself dismissing it almost immediately. You were too kind, too understanding, to ever treat him that way. You wouldn’t laugh at him. You wouldn’t ridicule him. He couldn’t see you doing that. Yet still, doubt gnawed at him, eating away at the edges of his resolve. The uncertainty lingered in the air, the question unanswered, and it left a hollow feeling deep in his chest.

Levi tried to push the storm of thoughts away, as if somehow doing so would help him sleep. He shut his eyes tightly, willing himself to relax, to let go of the tension that had built up inside of him over the course of the day. But even as he breathed in, exhaling slowly, his mind refused to settle. The image of your smile, the sound of your laughter, and the unspoken words between you lingered in the quiet room.

What would have happened if he had taken the chance? Would everything be different now?

Before Levi knew it, the sun had risen, its golden rays filtering through the curtains and casting a soft glow across the room. He turned his head, squinting as the light hit his eyes. The warmth of it was almost too much, so he closed his eyes tightly and turned away, burying his face into the cool pillow. The light of the new day seemed to mock him, reminding him that time was slipping away. He hadn't slept a wink all night, the relentless swirl of thoughts keeping him awake as they so often did. But this time, the thoughts were different. This time, they were filled with the image of you—the pretty nurse who had become far too important to him over the past few months.

Today was likely the last time he’d see you.

The realization hit him like a weight, and it sunk deep into his chest. He hadn’t thought it would be so hard to say goodbye, but now that it was happening, the thought was almost unbearable. How many more times could he frown today? How many more times could he allow himself to be disappointed by his own inability to act? Levi felt a dull ache form in his heart as he turned away from the sun's light. There was nothing he could do about it now. You’d be gone from his life soon enough, and he would be left with nothing but memories and regret.

The soft sound of the door opening broke him from his spiral, and he didn’t even bother to turn his head. It was strange, really—this was probably the first time in a long while that he didn’t want to see you. He had grown accustomed to your presence, to the way your voice would brighten the sterile, dull atmosphere of the hospital. But now? Now, he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts, even if they were nothing but a tangle of regret and longing.

"Mr. Ackerman? Are you awake?"

Your voice was quiet, tentative, like you were trying not to disturb him, but it was impossible to ignore. Despite himself, he turned over in bed to face you, his eyes settling on your figure standing in the doorway. He let out a small, frustrated sigh, his gaze fixed on you. Might as well burn your image into his brain, because it seemed like that was the only way he’d be able to remember you after today.

Damn you. Damn you for worming your way so deeply into his life, making him feel things he never wanted to feel. For making him care. For making him think, even for a moment, that he could have something real.

Yet, even as the frustration swirled inside of him, Levi had to admit—he couldn't deny the truth. These past few months, with you by his side, had been strangely peaceful. The quiet moments spent together, the way you always seemed to understand what he needed without him ever having to say a word. Those months had given him a kind of comfort he didn’t know he could have, a sense of calm that had been sorely missing from his life for far too long.

But now, it is all about to end. And he hated it.

"We're nearly done," you said, your voice carrying the usual warmth, but to Levi, it felt like a distant echo. What a shame, he thought, the words almost tasting bitter on his tongue. You were finishing up, preparing him for the inevitable departure, and all he could do was watch you speak.

“Make sure to properly…” you continued, but his mind had already wandered. His eyes were fixed on your lips as you spoke, and despite himself, Levi couldn't help but wish that you’d kiss him. The thought of your lips against his, even just for a fleeting moment, consumed him, but he quickly pushed the longing away. It was pointless. You were leaving, and nothing could change that.

“...You understand?” You finished with a soft smile, your gaze expectant, waiting for his response.

“Of course.” The words slipped from his mouth, sharper than he intended, a little too cold, a little too distant. It didn’t matter, though. You didn’t seem to notice or, at least, didn’t seem to mind.

You gave a small nod before heading out of the room, leaving him to his thoughts. Levi barely registered the sound of your footsteps retreating, already lost in the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him. He didn’t have enough time to miss you, though. You were back before he knew it, a wheelchair and some papers in hand, the small routine task pulling him out of his stupor.

He didn’t say a word when it was time to sign the papers, nor when you helped him into the wheelchair, the movements were automatic. His mind was elsewhere, still tangled in the mess of words he never said and feelings he couldn’t express. You noticed his silence but chose not to say anything. You had always seen Levi as someone who didn’t like talking about his feelings. It wasn’t in his nature to share, to be open, and you knew better than to push him.

You signed the papers without hesitation, before gently pushing the wheelchair out of the room. “A man named ‘Onyankopon’ is waiting for you. He’ll take you home,” you said, your voice soft but firm.

Levi didn’t respond with anything more than a dismissive “Tch.” He didn’t want to deal with this, didn’t want to think about the fact that you were finally leaving him behind. But you didn’t press him, and you didn’t try to pull more out of him. You simply continued on, guiding him through the sterile halls, knowing this would be the last time you’d see him like this.

The journey felt too short to Levi. Soon, he found himself at the entrance of his new house in Marley, the place that now felt both unfamiliar and too familiar all at once. The wheelchair came to a stop, and for a moment, he just stared at the door, almost as if he couldn’t believe he was really here. He didn’t have the words for the swell of emotions rising in his chest, nor did he know how to face the world outside, the world that seemed so different from the one you had made him feel safe in, even if just for a little while.

And as the door of his new home loomed before him, Levi couldn’t shake the thought of you, how you had been so close, yet so far away.

Ever since leaving the hospital, Levi’s life felt dull and monotonous. The days bled into each other in a haze of silence, and the once driven and disciplined man seemed to have lost all will to move forward. He barely spoke to anyone, his communication limited to the barest essentials. Meals went untouched, the food left to spoil as he stared at it, unable to summon the energy or the motivation to eat. The bed had become his sanctuary and his prison, a place where he could escape, even if only momentarily, from the weight of his own thoughts.

He didn’t care to leave the confines of the room, his gaze fixed on the dull walls as if they could somehow provide the comfort he desperately sought. Even the mess around him, a stark contrast to the spotless surroundings he had once prided himself on, went unnoticed. Clothes were scattered around the room, some half-folded, others in crumpled piles. Dirty dishes sat abandoned on the side table. The place was a wreck, but Levi didn’t bat an eye at it. The clean freak who once took pride in maintaining order now found himself indifferent, the mess reflecting just how much this entire situation was weighing on him.

It was clear to anyone who knew him that this wasn’t just a temporary slump. This was something deeper, something more profound. His usual sharp edge, his resolve—everything that made Levi Ackerman the person he was—seemed to have faded. Instead, a hollow version of him lingered in the dim room, trapped in his own head.

Onyankopon, of course, had noticed the drastic change in Levi. The man was not one to ignore such things, and it had weighed heavily on his mind. He knew the raven-haired soldier well enough to see that something was off, and his concern only deepened with each passing day. The dark-skinned man had tried to engage Levi, tried to reach out, but the silence was always the same. He knocked on Levi’s door one more time, his fist gently tapping against the wood.

“Levi?” he called out, his voice soft but laced with concern. He waited for a response, but there was nothing—no movement, no sound. Just the heavy silence that seemed to have swallowed everything around the man.

Onyankopon let out a sigh, his worry growing. He stepped back and turned toward the living room, feeling the weight of the situation press down on him. He couldn’t just sit back and watch this happen. He had to do something. He thought for a moment, pondering what could be done to help the man who had once been so determined, so unyielding in his approach to everything.

And then, an idea hit him, almost like a flash of inspiration. He’d call you.

It wasn’t an easy decision. Onyankopon wasn’t sure how this would play out, but the more he thought about it, the clearer it became that you were the key to reaching Levi. Somehow, someway, he had come to understand that Levi must have liked you more than he let on. The day Levi was discharged from the hospital, the way he had stared at you with that look—an indescribable expression that conveyed longing, perhaps regret, and a silent plea. It had been a subtle thing, something most people might have missed, but Onyankopon had caught it. It wasn’t just that Levi was leaving the hospital; it was that he didn’t want to leave you.

He had never seen Levi like that before, and it troubled him. That quiet ache in the man's eyes, the yearning for something more, something he could no longer have. Maybe that was what was gnawing at him, pulling him into this abyss of isolation. Maybe that was what made him shut down completely.

Onyankopon couldn’t ignore it anymore. He needed to call you. If there was anyone who could help pull Levi out of this, it was you. And maybe, just maybe, you had a chance at healing the part of him that had been broken all along.

Onyankopon walked over to the phone with determination, his fingers hesitating only for a brief moment before he dialed your number. He had no time to waste; Levi needed help, and he knew you were the one person who might be able to reach him. The phone rang a few times before you picked up, your voice sounding a little surprised.

"Hello? How can I help you?"

Onyankopon took a deep breath, his voice serious as he spoke. "It’s about Levi. He’s not doing well—hasn’t been eating, barely talking, and he’s practically shut himself in. I’m worried about him, and I think you should come check on him. He might listen to you."

You paused for a moment, the concern clear in your voice as you processed his words. Levi. The usually strong and composed man who had, in the blink of an eye, become a shadow of his former self. It tugged at your heart to hear that he was struggling, but at the same time, you were cautious. You knew how grumpy and closed-off Levi could be, and you didn’t want to intrude on his personal space, especially when he had been so distant lately.

“I understand,” you replied carefully, a slight hesitation lingering in your tone. "But... are you sure he’ll be okay with me coming over? I don’t want to push him if he’s not ready to talk."

Onyankopon’s voice softened, understanding your apprehension. "I think it’s worth a try. He might need someone who knows him—someone who can get through to him. I think you’re that person."

You couldn’t deny the worry creeping up inside you, but there was something else too—a sense of duty. For the short time you’d known Levi, you had grown a soft spot for him. You had seen beyond his gruff exterior, glimpsing the man who, despite his stoic nature, had a quiet strength and a vulnerability that you found hard to ignore. You couldn’t let him continue like this, not if there was a chance you could help.

After a moment of silence, you made your decision. "Alright. I’ll come over."

The walk to his house was longer than you expected, each step carrying a mix of urgency and unease. The weight of the situation pressed on you with every passing minute. What would you find when you got there? Would he be angry? Would he shut you out completely? Or, perhaps, would he let you in, if only for a moment?

When you finally arrived at Levi’s house, you could see Onyankopon waiting outside, his expression a mixture of concern and frustration. The moment he saw you, his face softened, and he let out a sigh of relief.

“You made it,” he said, his voice quiet but grateful. "I’m glad you’re here. He’s not in a good state… I just don’t know how much longer he can keep this up."

You nodded in understanding, your heart aching at the thought of Levi’s isolation. You could feel the tension in the air around his house—it was thick, almost oppressive. Steeling yourself, you followed Onyankopon inside, knowing that whatever happened next, you had to be there for him. You just hoped Levi would let you in.

“He’s in his room,” Onyankopon said quietly, his tone heavy with concern. He gave you a small, knowing nod before retreating, leaving you alone with the task of approaching Levi. You couldn’t help but feel a little nervous as you made your way down the hallway. The weight of the situation lingered in the air like an invisible pressure, and with each step closer to his room, your heart began to beat a little faster. You didn’t know what you’d find on the other side of that door, but you hoped, somehow, that you could make a difference.

When you reached the door to his bedroom, you paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. You raised your hand and knocked softly, not wanting to startle him but hoping to get his attention.

“Mr. Ackerman?” You called out gently, your voice careful but filled with concern.

The silence that followed was deafening. You stood there for a moment, waiting for any kind of response, but there was nothing. Only the faint sound of bed sheets rustling from the other side of the door. It made your stomach tighten with uncertainty. Had he heard you? Was he ignoring you? Or had he simply chosen to stay in his isolation, shutting everyone out?

On the other side of the door, Levi was laying in bed, his mind lost in a haze of exhaustion and tangled thoughts. He hadn’t expected anyone to come today. After all, why would anyone want to visit him? He didn’t even want to deal with anyone, especially not now. The days had blurred together, each one indistinguishable from the last, and he had retreated even further into himself, away from the world that no longer seemed to make sense.

But then he heard your voice.

It was soft, tentative, but undeniably real. For a split second, he wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or if you were actually there. His mind raced as he lay still in his bed, his body frozen in place as he tried to process what he had just heard. He blinked a few times, trying to shake off the fog in his head. It had been days since anyone had spoken to him with such gentle care, and hearing you call his name caught him off guard.

Slowly, Levi sat up in bed, his movements stiff and sluggish, as if the weight of his own thoughts was pulling him back down. His gaze flickered toward the door, and he stared at it for a long moment, unsure whether to open it, to acknowledge you, or to remain hidden within the safety of his room.

He wasn’t sure if you were really there. He wasn’t sure if it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He had spent so much time in solitude that he had almost forgotten what it felt like to have someone show concern for him, to have someone reach out.

But the rustling sound of your footsteps on the other side of the door, the softness in your voice when you said his name—it all felt too real to ignore. Still, he hesitated. The last thing he wanted was to open up, to let someone in. But for some reason, he found himself wondering, just for a moment, what it would feel like if he did.

"Can I come in?" you asked gently, your voice filled with hope. The silence on the other side of the door seemed to stretch on, but after what felt like an eternity, Levi's voice broke through, low and quiet.

"Yeah... come in," he murmured, almost as if it took all his energy to give you that permission.

You slowly pushed the door open, stepping inside with careful steps, your heart heavy with concern. The moment you entered the room, your eyes widened at the sight before you. The usually meticulous and clean Levi had let his room fall into disarray. Clothes were strewn about, some piled up in corners, others half-removed from the hangers, as if he’d lost the will to care. The bed was unmade, with blankets thrown haphazardly across it. The room felt stifling, a reflection of the mess inside Levi's own mind.

“Oh dear…” you murmured, your voice soft, but the surprise was clear.

Levi, sitting on the edge of his bed, shifted his gaze away from you, a subtle flush creeping up his neck. His embarrassment was palpable.

"Sorry about the mess," he muttered, his voice weak and hoarse from the silence he had been surrounded by for days.

You shook your head, offering him a warm smile despite the mess. "It’s okay, we’ll take care of that." Your words were light and reassuring, meant to ease his mind, but you could see how much it affected him. Levi wasn’t used to letting things slide, not like this. It was clear that something deep inside him had been shaken, and as you looked around the room, you could feel the weight of it all pressing down on him.

In that moment, as you stood there, so gentle and understanding despite the chaos, Levi could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. The softness in your gaze, the way you didn’t judge him, made him feel vulnerable in a way he wasn’t prepared for. It was almost like he was falling in love all over again, despite himself. He had never realized how much he had come to rely on your kindness until now.

You didn't let the silence drag on, your thoughts already drifting back to what Onyankopon had told you. He’d mentioned that Levi hadn’t had a proper meal in days—maybe even longer. Right now, he was a broken man, too tired to even care about basic things like eating.

“I’ll get you something to eat,” you said, your tone more resolute now, as if you had made it your mission to make sure he didn’t continue to suffer in silence.

Levi didn’t respond at first. He just nodded weakly, his exhaustion and emotional turmoil evident in the slight droop of his shoulders. A simple nod was all he could muster, but it was enough for you to understand that he needed help.

You left him alone in his room and made your way to the kitchen. The sound of the kettle whistling, the gentle stirring of ingredients, and the soft hum of the kitchen as you prepared his meal brought a sense of purpose back to you. You focused on the task at hand, but your mind kept drifting back to him—wondering if he’d be okay.

You made a small, simple meal—nothing too fancy, but hearty enough to give him some strength. Along with it, you brewed a pot of tea, knowing exactly how he liked it. Strong, just the right amount of bitterness, and a touch of honey.

With the meal and tea prepared, you walked back into his room, the soft clink of the tray in your hands filling the space as you approached him. Levi was sitting on the edge of the bed, his gaze distant, but when you entered, he turned toward you, his eyes softening just slightly at the sight of the food and drink you brought him. You set the tray down on the small table next to his bed and handed him the tea first.

"Thank you," he muttered, his voice still quiet but carrying a note of gratitude that warmed your heart. It was the first time you had heard any emotion in his words for days.

"You're welcome," you replied, your smile small but sincere as you watched him take the tea from your hands.

Levi took a long sip, the warmth of the tea seeping into his tired body. He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the familiar taste. “No one makes tea like you,” he said softly between sips. The words felt heavy with more than just appreciation.

You smiled at that, a chuckle escaping your lips. “Glad you missed me. I was lonely without your grumpiness.” Your words were light, teasing, but the undercurrent of affection was there, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, you saw the faintest of smiles tug at the corners of Levi’s lips.

He took another sip of the tea, then picked at the food, eating in small bites, almost as if he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until now. The room was quiet, save for the soft sound of him eating and the occasional sip of tea, but it was a peaceful silence. The tension that had once filled the room, the heaviness in his posture, seemed to ease just a little with each bite and each sip.

You stood nearby, watching him carefully as he finally ate the meal you prepared for him, his movements slow but deliberate. It was a small victory, but it felt significant.

As Levi slowly finished the meal you had prepared, you took the opportunity to begin tidying up his room. The dishes were simple enough to clean, but it gave you a moment to organize the rest of the room as well. During your time with him, you had come to understand just how much Levi appreciated a clean, organized space. It was something that had become second nature to him over the years, and yet, now, he seemed almost incapable of maintaining it on his own, weighed down by his emotions and exhaustion.

You moved silently through the room, picking up clothes that were left in disarray and making the bed with careful precision. All the while, you could feel Levi's gaze on you. His dark eyes followed your every movement, tracing your figure as you worked. Though he didn't say anything, the way he looked at you made your heart skip a beat. It was hard to ignore the warmth in his eyes, the unspoken gratitude there, even as he stayed quiet.

Once the room was cleaned and everything was in its place, you returned to his side, helping him sit up in bed, your hands gentle and steady as you supported him. “Do you want help bathing?” you asked softly, your voice tentative. You knew how fiercely independent Levi could be, and if it had been anyone else, he likely would have dismissed the offer immediately. But this time, there was something in his eyes, a silent longing for care that made him hesitate.

He didn’t trust his voice, the words stuck in his throat, so he simply nodded. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes. He trusted you, even in this vulnerable moment, and it meant more to you than you could express.

You helped him stand up carefully, supporting him as you led him to the bathroom. As you set to work drawing a warm bath for him, Levi stood in the corner, peeling off his clothes slowly. There was an awkwardness to his movements, but you could tell he wasn’t trying to be distant. He just didn’t know how to navigate this situation, and you couldn’t blame him for that. He was used to being strong, self-sufficient, and here you were, taking care of him in ways he hadn't allowed anyone to before.

Once the tub was full, you adjusted the water’s temperature, testing it with your hand before turning to him. Levi slowly lowered himself in the water. You could see that he was already relaxed, his shoulders less tense as the warmth of the bath surrounded him. You grabbed a rag and soap, pausing for a moment to make sure everything was ready before beginning. "You don't mind, right? Tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable," you reassured him, your voice soft and gentle, ensuring he knew he had control over the situation.

Levi closed his eyes, leaning back slightly against the edge of the tub as he sank into the warm water. He let out a small sigh of relief as the heat melted some of the tension in his muscles. For a moment, he just allowed himself to relax, and he realized that he didn’t feel uncomfortable with you at all. Embarrassed, yes—his pride as a soldier was a difficult thing to overcome—but uncomfortable? No. Not with you.

Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling of vulnerability that washed over him as you moved closer, the soft lather of the soap in your hands. You had been taking care of him in so many ways already, and now this—washing him, helping him like this—was something he never would have imagined himself allowing anyone to do. But with you, it felt different. The embarrassment was there, lingering in the back of his mind, but it didn’t matter. He didn't want you to stop. He couldn’t bring himself to ask you to, even if a small part of him wished that he could keep his distance.

When you confirmed that he was fine, you began to wash him. Your touch was careful and thorough, the rag gentle as it scrubbed across his skin. You focused on his upper body, being mindful not to invade his personal space too much, but your touch was soothing nonetheless. You could feel the tension in his body start to melt away as you moved, your presence a quiet reassurance that made him feel safe. You made sure to clean every inch of his upper body, your movements slow and deliberate, giving him time to adjust to each step. You didn't rush, knowing that this act of care was something he wasn’t used to, and you wanted him to feel comfortable.

Once you had finished, you carefully patted him down with a soft towel, drying his skin as gently as you could. Then you wrapped the towel around him, securing it around his waist, and helped him out of the bath. His movements were slow, but with your support, he was steady. You led him back to his bedroom, where you sat him on the edge of his bed.

Levi didn’t speak as you helped him dress, but you could see the faint appreciation in his eyes, a silent acknowledgment that he trusted you, that he was grateful. You dressed him carefully, making sure everything was in place, then moved to dry his hair. You ran a towel through his dark hair, the damp strands slipping between your fingers as you gently worked to remove the moisture.

When you finished, you stepped back and looked at him for a moment. He looked different, more like himself, and though there was still a sadness in his eyes, there was also a hint of something more. Maybe it was hope, or maybe it was just the relief of being cared for after so long. Either way, it felt like a small step forward.

Levi looked more alive now, his posture a little straighter, his expression less burdened than when you first arrived. The peacefulness that seemed to have eluded him for days was finally settling into his features, and it brought a small sense of relief to you.

Levi finally looked up at you, his voice low but sincere. "Thank you," he said, his words carrying more weight than usual. It wasn’t just for the bath or the food—it was for everything you had done, for everything you had been for him in this moment of weakness. And despite the overwhelming emotions swirling inside him, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything more. But his eyes spoke volumes, and you understood.

You stood by his side, your arms crossed in a playful but firm manner, watching him as he sat up in bed, his dark eyes now clearer, his fatigue somewhat lifted. “You should really take better care of yourself, Mr. Ackerman,” you chided him gently, a hint of concern still lingering in your voice. He needed to hear it—needed someone to remind him that he mattered, that his well-being mattered.

Levi simply sighed, tilting his head back against the pillow. "Levi," he corrected you, his tone almost too casual, though you could sense the irritation beneath the surface. He wasn't one for too much care or attention, preferring to handle things on his own.

“Huh?” You blinked, surprised at his sudden insistence.

“Tch… calling me Levi," he repeated with a quiet growl, though there was no true malice in his words, just a touch of annoyance. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to be treated like some fragile thing, or perhaps it was his stubborn nature refusing to show too much vulnerability.

You couldn’t help but smile at his tone. It was the familiar, grumpy Levi you knew and had grown to care for. “Okay, Levi,” you said, your voice light and teasing as his name rolled off your tongue with an ease that felt more natural than it should have.

Levi’s eyes flickered slightly, an unspoken reaction at the way you said his name. It was something about the way it sounded when it came from your lips, like it held more weight, more warmth than anyone else’s. He felt a small flutter in his chest, but he quickly brushed it aside, annoyed at himself for letting something so insignificant affect him.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence after that, a soft conversation flowing between you, easy and natural. Time seemed to slip by unnoticed as you talked, the rhythm of your words settling a peaceful air in the room. For the first time in a long time, Levi felt like he could breathe, like there was no urgency, no pressing battle to face—just the quiet presence of someone who cared for him.

But as the night wore on, you glanced at the clock, and your heart sank just a little. It was time to leave. You stood up slowly, gathering your things, and the moment you began moving toward the door, Levi’s gaze followed you, his expression softening. He didn’t want you to leave, and he wasn’t sure why. He wanted to spend more time with you, but he didn’t know how to ask for it.

You paused at the door, your hand resting on the knob, and before you could say anything, there was a brief, unexpected sensation—a light kiss pressed to his cheek. It was gentle, sweet, and fleeting, but it lingered in the air, making Levi’s heart skip a beat. His face immediately flushed, his breath catching in his throat. He turned his face away, hoping you wouldn’t notice the heat on his cheeks.

“Goodnight, Levi,” you said softly, your voice full of warmth. “I’ll check on you soon.” Your words were a promise, a reassurance that you would be there again.

Levi mumbled a quiet, almost embarrassed, “Goodnight,” his voice tinged with something he couldn’t quite name. He watched as you left the room, the door clicking shut behind you with a finality that left him feeling a bit emptier than before.

But as he sat there, the smallest of smiles tugged at the corners of his lips. It wasn’t big or dramatic, just a soft curve that made his eyes brighten, albeit slightly. A feeling lingered in his chest—something warm, something he hadn’t quite allowed himself to feel in a long time. He couldn’t wait for the next time.

© 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝟭𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆 — 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽. 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍, 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗌𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾, 𝗈𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝖽𝗂𝖿𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗒 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌.

[synthetickitsune]

Kitsune!Joshua (SVT) | Heartbreak angst | 0.9k | gn!reader warnings: mentions of violence, kidnapping A/N: there's also this +1 drabble bcs i ended up lowkey hating it and tried to save it by writing this

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. That’s what the others told him. All of them. Every single one of them is telling him the same thing, advising him, lecturing him. 

None of them knows what it feels like. They’re all oblivious, ignorant. Joshua feels like they’re trying to loom over him, mock him, pity him. All they do is try to make him feel small but he won’t let them.

They have no idea.

He wants to bare his teeth. He can feel his lips curling up and exposing the long fangs just seconds before he buries them in their throats and feels the warm blood filling his mouth.

He’s not weak. He’s not pitiful.

Nobody but him knows what it’s like.

It makes him bristle, the way they’ve been looking at him since he told them. Like a rabid beast, all he wants to do is bite and tear.

In all honesty it’s not their fault. He played his game, only he didn’t win. Not even a stupid prize. But the whole situation reminds him why foxes don’t live in packs like wolves do.

They’ve all been warned against falling for a human being, they’ve all heard the tales of how such love stories end, and yet his own friends don’t have his back.

Well they certainly won’t get any sympathy from Joshua should anything happen to them ever again.

Yet he feels the tension completely roll off his shoulders once he lands softly on the floor, his paws barely making any noise on the plush carpet in your bedroom. It’s just as well, you’re tossing and turning on the bed, restless. All he wants to do once he stands at the foot of your bed as a man, for the most part, is to crawl next to you and wrap you in his arms. 

His gaze might wake you sooner or later, he knows. He’s still undecided whether he should let you see him or not. His ears twitch at the top of his head, your neighbours are still awake so he’d have to be quick to stop your cries for help. Not an issue. He’s always been a good hunter.

Maybe you’ll change your mind if you see how crazy in love he is for you?

Foxes only fall in love once. Once. In their neverending lives, only one person gets to own their heart. It’s beyond cruel, Joshua understands that now, despite always believing it was romantic. Beautiful, even. How foolish he was.

He licks his lips. Your neck is bared to his hungry eyes and his teeth itch to embed themselves into your throat. To mark you, to taste you. Perhaps to hurt you a little, after all.

His tail swishes silently behind him. He can’t stay still anymore. Or he really might pounce and do something he’d regret later. Perching carefully on your bed, he studies you for a few minutes. You’re really not getting any sleep, are you, you poor thing? From this close, his heart aches for you. He can sense your distress, but it’d be pointless to step inside your dreams if you’d just startle awake. Sweat glistens on your skin and he smooths out the wrinkle between your brows with a gentle touch. He has to stop his tail from moving when you don’t wake up. When you lean closer. See? You know, deep down, that he’s good for you. That you need him. 

You’re so soft. So weak and vulnerable. And yet it’s you who holds his heart in your hands. He knows how the story ends. You’d tear the tender muscle apart like a savage splitting a pomegranate.

He swallows and in the darkness of your room, Joshua allows himself a quiet whimper. Why won’t you love him? There exist creatures more monstrous than he is. He loves you. He’d protect you. He’d care for you. He’d grant you immortal life to spend with him. He’d worship you. His ears flatten against his head and his tail hangs limply. Do you know you’re the only person he’s ever looked so fondly at? Would you even care?

He moves his hand to the top of your head next, slowly stroking your hair. You start to settle, and he can only smile wistfully. Why won’t you listen to your heart? Surely you love him too, don’t you? 

He doesn’t know everything there is to know about humans, but he knows you. And he knows you wouldn’t share a bed with him, wouldn’t make love with him unless you loved him. The way you look at him, or at least how you did before tonight, couldn’t be mistaken for anything. It was love.

Joshua feels the anger rise up inside of him again. If you love him, then what’s the issue? He won’t abandon you, he won’t love anyone else - he physically can’t. What are you so afraid of… Yet his touch remains gentle. Deep down you know he’s what’s best for you, only your weak human heart fights the truth. It’s alright. He can wait. You lean into his touch when he caresses your cheek and he smiles. For you, he can wait centuries.

The noise coming from your neighbour’s apartment stops. He knows it’s not likely that they’re already asleep, but at least it should mean they’re in bed and won’t notice what’s going outside their windows. The noise he can take care of.

He’s quick when he scoops you up in his arms and covers your mouth. It only takes a few seconds for you to realize what’s going on but by that time he’s already made it past your window and out. He lets you fight back while he coos at you. Afterall, he might miss it once you accept your fate.

[slaymitchabernathy]

I Hate It Here

| "All you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize. You see I was a debutant in another life but, now I seem to be scared to go outside. If comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck, now that I know what's what." |

Soarynn keeps her head lowered while the other girls whisper excitedly around her.

There is nothing to be excited about.

She doesn't see why this is such a big deal, debutant balls happen all the time, why does this one have to be any different?

But she knows why, and she knows that her father has high hopes of her meeting a suitable match tonight. "You're a beautiful girl, honey," he had said to her in the car, "and tonight you might meet a young man who can see that. A man who can take care of you when I no longer can."

Soarynn had just nodded and smiled, she wants to make her father happy, let him rest easy knowing that she won't forever be alone but she doesn't see why being alone is such a bad thing. She has her friends, her drawings, her cat, and her books.

She needs nothing more.

She smooths down her white dress with her gloved hands, making sure she looks presentable. The maids fussed over her appearance for a good hour, making sure that her long blonde hair was perfectly curled and styled, that her dress was without a wrinkle, her skin without a flaw.

They're anxious for her to meet someone as well. She's heard them whispering about her, how it's such a shame that a pretty thing like her spends most of her days in the library of her home, curled up with a book. Soarynn doesn't think it's sad at all, she loves her books, loves escaping to secret gardens in her mind where only she has the key to get to them.

No one else seems to share this sentiment.

The girls begin to move out of the room they've been standing in for the past half hour and Soarynn joins the shuffle, nervously reciting the words she's been trained to say by everyone who wants tonight to be successful.

"Hello, my name is Soarynn Nightingale, how do you do?"

It seems so stiff, so formal, and not at all personal. It's not her at all.

They step out onto the balcony overlooking the first floor where everyone is staring up at them from the ballroom. Soarynn scans the room for her father, the only man she truly cares about. She spots him over by the piano, a drink in his hand and a pleased smile on his face. She knows he means well but she hates this, hates all of it.

Girls begin to descend the grand staircase and Soarynn is one of the last in the group, taking her time, not in any rush to get married and have her life be over. Some girls are immediately greeted by the young men attending this ball, eager to meet a potential wife. Others like her, are not and she goes straight to the windows so she can look outside.

She sees a small garden with a courtyard, it reminds her of home, of their backyard. Will her future husband live in a townhouse like her? Or will he live in an apartment with no grass or trees?

She hopes for very few things when it comes to a potential husband. That he's kind to her, that he actually listens and pays attention to her. She also hopes that he likes cats since she has one, Petunia who she cannot live without.

Soarynn knows that she's not doing herself any favors by standing by the windows instead of mingling or dancing but she doesn't have the courage to go up to any of the men in this room. So she watches instead, watches girls dance with potential suitors, smiling and laughing.

Some could say that she was born for this life, to grow up in comfortable luxury and be married off to strengthen the family but she longs for something more, for freedom and no societal standards.

No big city hopes or small town fears.

She scans the room once again and her eyes land on the bar where lots of men are now standing including her father. She locks eyes with him for a moment but then they drift up to the man standing next to him. The very tall, very handsome young man with blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

Soarynn suddenly feels very nervous.

She was prepared to talk to people, but she wouldn't enjoy it or find them interesting. She planned on leaving with her father, empty-handed but content that she did her part tonight. Her father has other plans apparently.

The young man starts towards her but Soarynn remains planted by the windows, letting him cross the room to get to her. She's been given lots of advice over the past eighteen years on how to deal with men, how she should make her future husband work for it, work for her. Looks like she's finally heeding some of that advice.

The handsome stranger finally reaches her and he's much taller up close. He smells like roses out of all things and he really is handsome, with his prominent jaw and nose, his strong eyebrows, and his eyes, oh, his eyes are a piercing blue gaze that she feels frozen under.

"Hello," he says with a polite smile, holding out his hand, "my name is Coriolanus Snow, how do you do?"

Soarynn swallows, this is what she's been preparing for her entire life, to fall in love. Surely it won't happen with the first man she meets. But maybe it might, who knows what fate has intended for her.

Soarynn gently places her hand in his, noting how much larger his hand is, how long his fingers are, how big his palm is. Coriolanus Snow is a big man. "Pleased to meet you," she says softly, watching him bring his lips to her gloved hand. She blushes at the gesture, the only man who's ever shown her any physical affection has been her father, a kiss on the cheek, a hug, an encouraging pat on the arm.

Like any good Capitol girl, she's been saving herself for marriage.

His bright eyes scan her up and down in a matter of seconds and she begins to wonder what her father has promised Coriolanus, what he said about her. "And your name?"

Soarynn blinks twice before realizing that she has yet to introduce herself, "Soarynn, Soarynn Nightingale."

Coriolanus hums, releasing her hand, "Well Soarynn, I met your father moments ago and he told me that I'd be a fool if I didn't ask you to dance." Soarynn wants to glare over at her father for meddling in her business, he can't do everything for her if he wants this to be successful. She knows he means well but still, the line has to be drawn at some point.

"You might be," she agrees, "or you might not."

Coriolanus creases his brows, clearly not expecting her to act this way, act like she could care less but she isn't keen on impressing Coriolanus Snow who she's sure is a fine match for any girl in this room.

Just not her.

"Do you...do you not dance?" He asks nervously, shifting on his feet. Soarynn shakes her head, she shouldn't torture Coriolanus when he's done nothing wrong, "I do dance," she tells him, bracing herself for five minutes of awkward tension between them, "and I'd love to dance with you."

He seems relieved to hear that. No man wants to look like a fool at a debutant ball, so out of sheer politeness, she'll agree to dance with Coriolanus.

He offers up her arm which she gingerly takes, allowing him to lead them onto the ballroom floor where lots of people have been swept up in music and surface-level conversations. Coriolanus rests one hand on her waist and the other holds her right hand. Soarynn places her left hand on his shoulder and they begin to move with the music. Growing up, Soarynn was given dance lessons for this very reason, so she wouldn't look like a graceless fool in front of everyone else.

She catches another glimpse of her father, eagerly craning his neck to see if he's made a successful match. Soarynn sighs, she hates it here, hates this dress, hates these uncomfortable shoes, hates dancing with this stranger.

"How old are you?"

His question jars her from thinking of more things to hate, "Eighteen," she answers, "what about you?"

"Twenty-one."

Goodness, he's old. Older than her at least, she's surprised her father sent Coriolanus her way, he's always been protective of her. She nods, doing her best to look interested, "You attended University then?"

"I did, now I work at the largest firm in the Capitol."

Of course, he does, handsome, smart, and important. He's the perfect man in her father's eyes, in everyone's eyes but her own.

"How exciting," she murmurs, letting him spin her around. She catches a glimpse of the moon shining through the windows and wishes she could escape this dance to sneak outside to the courtyard. But she can't be rude, and she can't leave halfway through the dance.

"Is this your first ball?"

Soarynn does her best to look excited, "Yes it is."

"Ah, how exciting for you."

Yes, she wants to say, how exciting to be sold off to the highest bidder in the room. She just smiles and keeps dancing to the music, answering a few more surface-level questions before the music finally stops.

"Thank you for the dance," she says to him, "but I need to find the lady's room." Now he can't insist on accompanying her and Soarynn doesn't wait for a response, turning on her heel and pushing through the crowd. She sneaks past her father, still preoccupied at the bar, and only glances back at Coriolanus once, expecting to see him with another girl already but his eyes are on her, watching her leave.

Hopefully, he can find a girl who actually wants to be here.

꧁ ꧂

With nothing but the moonlight to keep her company, Soarynn finally finds herself enjoying this ball.

She sits on a stone bench, surrounded by shrubs and flowers, watching through the window as people dance and laugh. It's better this way, she decides, to stay out here and protect her heart.

She watches one girl in a pretty white dress laugh at something a man says, leaning into him as if they've known each other for years not hours. Perhaps there's something wrong with Soarynn, something wrong with her heart.

The scatter of gravel is what startles her and draws her attention to a tall figure emerging from the blooms and shrubs, Coriolanus Snow. He looks rather unsure of himself, out of place in the gardens.

"You're quite good at hiding," he tells her, hands in his pockets, "I had to search the whole building before I came out here to look for you."

Soarynn can't stop herself from looking surprised. He looked for her?

She thought he'd find some other girl to talk to, to swoon and charm and take for his bride.

"I escaped," she says plainly, turning back to look through the windows. The gravel crunches under his shoes and she can feel him stop behind her, "Are you not enjoying the ball?" Soarynn nearly rolls her eyes at the stupid question, maybe if she were shallow and self-serving she'd enjoy the ball. Maybe if she didn't dream of being more than just someone's wife then she'd enjoy the ball.

"Not really."

Coriolanus walks around the stone bench, quietly sitting down next to her. Soarynn doesn't look at him, doesn't trust herself to look into those blue eyes and not possibly fall for him. Falling in love is another one of her hopeless dreams.

They sit in a comfortable silence, watching others make the most of this night, she feels him staring at her every once in a while but Soarynn makes no effort to start up a conversation.

"You seem lonely," he finally says.

She lets out a breathy laugh, I'm lonely but I'm good, she thinks to herself. She's always kept to herself, always been kind and polite but it's cost her a lot, cost her some respect and others taking her seriously.

"I'm fine," she insists, pulling off her gloves, "I have everything I could ever need."

She looks at him and is met with a questioning look like he doesn't fully believe her. Sometimes she doesn't believe herself. "Having everything you need doesn't prevent you from growing bitter," he points out. She frowns, she's never thought of herself as bitter. Is that how others view her?

"I swear I'm fine."

She's fine, it's fine, everything's fine. Soarynn has already accepted her inevitable fate, getting married, having children, attending boring parties with boring people. She'll save all her romanticism for her inner life, reading books so she gets lost on purpose in another land far away from here.

His hand grabs hers, skin on skin this time, no gloves separating them, no crowd of people watching them.

They can say whatever they want out here, with the moon and stars as their witness.

"You can be honest with me," he tells her, so gently, so patiently as if she's the most precious thing in the world to her. Soarynn has always been cautious around men like Coriolanus Snow, who seem too good to be true. Men with money, power, influence, charming and deceptive. Good looking and rotten to the core.

Soarynn doesn't know why she feels compelled to be honest with him now, to tell him how this place truly makes her feel. She has nothing to lose.

"This place makes me feel worthless," she whispers, staring up at the sky, "the parties, the dull conversations, it's like no one really sees me for who I am, sees past my pretty face and prominent last name."

Soarynn knows he can relate to the family part, he's a Snow, that's as important as you can get in the Capitol. She's sure that he's had his fair share of people trying to shove their way into his life simply to say that they're friends with him.

He laces his fingers in between her own, "Where would you go other than the Capitol?"

Soarynn is well aware of how privileged she is to live in the Capitol, to live among the elite and go to balls like this. She has more clothes than she knows what to do with, more shoes, more bags, more food. There is no better place to be than the Capitol.

Except the secret gardens in her mind.

"I read about these gardens," she tells him, "when I was a precocious child, they live in your mind so you can escape and only I have the key. I'm there most of the year if I'm being honest."

She sees how surprised he is, how he never expected Glen Nightingale's daughter to be downright miserable with her life.

"You want gardens?"

Soarynn nods, to put it broadly yes, she wants gardens she can run through and escape in with no one to bother her unless she wants them to.

"I can give you that."

Her eyes grow wide, out of all the things a man could promise her, gardens were the last thing she expected. Capitol men like to promise pretty jewelry, fancy cars, and beautiful homes. Never has anyone promised her a garden, let alone listened to her greatest desires.

"You can?" She asks, shitfing on the bench. Coriolanus nods, looking quite confident in the promise he just made, "I can. I'm going to become President one day and when I do, I'll move into the President's Mansion. There'll be beautiful gardens to walk through, and a grand library, with servants who won't speak a word to you unless you tell them to do so."

He makes it sound so easy, like it's already happened, like he already did it.

It sounds like a dream come true.

"But...but what does that have to do with me?" She asks with hesitance laced in her voice. Soarynn isn't naive, she knows what men want and what's expected of her. She needs to marry someone, not just live in their gardens. Coriolanus chuckles, acting like she asked something so simple. "If we were to marry then everything of mine could become yours," he explains as if it's so simple.

Maybe it is.

Maybe she should trust him, let him spin her around in the ballroom, and get to know him.

"Give me a chance and I promise you won't be disappointed Soarynn."

You have nothing to lose, she tells herself, squeezing his hand, "Alright," she agrees, "we ought to go back inside."

Coriolanus looks at the large windows looking into the ballroom, they can hear the music and laughter from outside, he looks hesitant to return. "Let's just stay here," he says, giving her a smile, "get to know each other."

Soarynn smiles too.

Perhaps with Coriolanus by her side, she could actually love it here.

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

| taglist: @strawberriicakes @wonderlandbound111 @kickmybark @villiansarehottest @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead @melodyoflovee @erensrealgf |

[sapphicstoria]

This is going to be a long rant, but I feel more comfortable venting here than on twitter so.

I’m sorry, but I can’t stand a lot of Ch*rlastor fans. I seen one of them try to say it wouldn’t make sense for Chaggie to be endgame, because Charlie is bi and because she and Vaggie have been together for a long time. It made me so confused because how are either of those two things reasons why Charlie shouldn’t end the series with Vaggie? Her long term girlfriend that she’s in love with? And saying because she’s bi, it’d be weird for her to end dating a girl is so ????

It’s been established that Charlie is bisexual, that she’s attracted to men, and may even have had a boyfriend before dating Vaggie. They don’t have to show her dating a man, in the present, for her to be bisexual. And being bisexual doesn’t mean she has to be with a man, if she doesn’t want to. She loves Vaggie. She has never, and will never, be attracted to Alastor.

I’m tired of people constantly putting Chaggie down to praise their ship, when they could praise them without even bringing up chaggie or Vaggie. Saying she is a horrible girlfriend, that she’s not supportive enough, that she doesn’t care about Charlie. People even give Alastor Vaggie’s traits and say he “encourages” Charlie and cares about her dreams when he… does none of that. He uses her and only wants her for her powers. He doesn’t care about the hotel, and only helps because he wants to see it fail. He manipulates her and does not care about her like Vaggie does. It’s fine for fanon, but in canon he does nothing like that.

Vaggie cares so deeply for Charlie, because she is probably the first person who has ever shown Vaggie true kindness and love. They spent awhile being friends, but eventually dated and have such a strong relationship. They’re business partners, and best friends, along with being a couple. That’s one of the best types of relationships. Where you’re not just each other’s partner, but also best friend. Sure, they don’t have many too overly romantic scenes, but that’s just how their relationship is. They’ve been dating each other for years, and are adults. They probably went through their honeymoon phase, but now they’re so close that they don’t need to be overly romantic to show that they’re dating. Their scenes are perfect to show a close relationship.

But when they do have their big romantic scenes, they’re always the most beautifully animated. Like the scene of them first meeting. How Charlie didn’t even hesitate to help her, and when Vaggie finally seen there’s someone out there who does care. It was a touching moment for them.

I’ll never get over how beautiful their duet is. Not only the song, or context, but how it was animated. Their smiles, the way Vaggie was the one to sing first, when she is isn’t really a fan of singing but she knows how much Charlie loves it. The KISS. It was a perfect song, to show just how deep their feelings are for each other. And it made me bawl, when I realized it was a reprise of more than anything. Showing that Lucifer and Vaggie are the people Charlie loves more than anything.

I don’t see why people are judging them so quickly, when we’ve only seen eight episodes that were filled more with action and story than anything romantic. We’re getting more of their story in season two, even a look into their ~sexy lives~, and probably even more individual scenes of Charlie and Vaggie for their character. You don’t have to like them, but it really annoys me when I see people putting them down just to praise a mlw ship. :/ again, you can praise your ship, without having to attack Chaggie. And if you’re not able to do that, and can only bring up the positives of Ch*rlastor by picking apart chaggie as a couple, then maybe your ship just isn’t that great. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[strawberrystepmom]

hello kendy! hope you're having a wonderful day! i love reading your selfship posts so much, it's so refreshing to see someone loving themselves and others the way you do!

i have a bit of lack of confidence when it comes to my body, sometimes i'm self conscious that i'm bigger than my f/os and i'm shy to even share stuff about it, how do you get past that? i would like to be more confident in myself😭

hello friend <333 thank you so much the sweet words. i'm a certified lover girl it's the only thing besides breathing i'm naturally good at so it's very affirming that the behavior resonates with someone somewhere lmao

so this is a complex feeling and i understand. it's really easy for me to sit here and say "just imagine that you're beautiful and believe it <3" but that is like distinctly unhelpful even though it is advice that i think everyone should take to heart. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. there is no one way to be beautiful but the most surefire way is to start with appreciating the stuff you're made of. your heart, soul, and mind. that's where love radiates from.

but i will say as far as physical beauty goes, it's difficult sometimes when you're in a head space of thinking like man i'm not good enough for this person, they wouldn't want me, etc. it hurts but i want you to, every time you think that, to imagine saying that aloud about yourself to your fav - a person who loves you. imagine saying i'm too x. i'm ugly. i'm stupid. i'm lame. imagine their reaction to that, how upset they'd be to hear it. a person who loves you will never ever ever want to hear you say that about you because they'd never believe it no matter how you look. we are always far more cruel towards ourselves than we deserve and someone who cares about you is going to love all of you and not zero in on the flaws you see as unable to be ignored.

your fav loves your smile. your cheeks. your arms and legs and lips. the way you sigh when you're bored, the way you style your hair. the way you dress, smell, and make yourself feel beautiful when you need the boost. they see the things about you that you take for granted - the way your eyes sparkle and you gnaw your lip and even something as small as the way you pop your fingers.

you wanna know how i know that? because you love those things about them too. that's what love is. seeing every little thing about someone and helping them embrace it enough to love it too.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Sonny Carisi NSFW Alphabet  

I’ve been thinking about doing this for months. I waited because it takes so long for me to do. But I thought you guys desrved a New Years present- let's start it off with a smutty bang! 

A big thank you to @polkadotpenguin16 for reading it over for me and giving feedback. 

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

Sonny’s aftercare is exceptional. He takes care of you and has you settled before he even thinks about himself. He is all about intimacy, cuddles, and attention. Sometimes it’s just curling up together and falling asleep- his favorite is when you shower first. He wants to take care of you, washing your body, sliding over your curves. And if you decide you want to go another round he is more than willing to fulfill your every desire.   

Other times it's pillow talk, laughs. Telling each other secrets and funny stories from your past. Baring yourself to each other- the pain and hurt you both have experienced. Talking about family and the future and what it might be- the promises he whispers against your skin. One day he was brushing your hair back and pleasure drunk you told him that one of your favorite things was having your hair played with. Now he always does it after sex, his talented fingers running through your tresses usually until you fall asleep. It was a habit you noticed that had bled over to whenever you were curled up together.  

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

Sonny’s favorite part of himself is his arms and shoulders. While Sonny might not look it with his leaner build, he is strong. He climbed that fire escape using only his upper body strength to rescue that girl from falling. It doesn’t hurt that it is one of the areas you pay the most attention to. Often stroking and massaging him letting your hands linger.  

No matter how much Sonny assures you he loves your entire body- he is very obviously an ass man. He tries not to make his staring obvious but you have practically worn through a pair of snug-fitting jeans that are Sonny’s favorite. They tightly hug your ass just right. It has gotten Sonny to stop and stare more times than you can count. You are almost positive they were the reason you got pregnant the first time. You could see his disappointment all over his face when you finally had to throw them out.   

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 

Sonny loves to come inside of you. The mix of your arousal with his seed, especially watching it drips down from your well fucked cunt to the inside of your thighs. A beautiful sticky mess that marks you as his. Your chest rising and faling rapidly as you try to catch your breath a satisfied smile on your lips. He knows one day when you’re ready, he will fuck his seed inside of you so deep it will take, permanently mixing your DNA.    

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

Sonny loves anal sex. The first time he ever did it was at the request of his partner. He was a bit reluctant but willing to try it for his partner who raved about how amazing it made her feel. Between how tight it held his cock and the obvious pleasure it brought her Sonny was instantly hooked.  

Sonny had a hard time broaching the subject with you and when he found out you had never done it before he instantly clammed up. You had been the one to catch his drift and ask if it was something he enjoyed. When he just stood there clearly weighing the pros and cons you had shrugged saying you were willing to try it. He couldn’t hide the way his eyes lit up even while asking you if you were sure. You had nodded easily simply saying “You try all the stuff I want. Let’s see if it's as good as you are making it seem.” 

It was even better. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 

Sonny isn’t a fan of hookups or one-night stands. He has partaken from time to time but it has always left him not quite satisfied. He craves the intimacy of knowing and loving the person you are with. He has learned from his various partners but he doesn’t know as much as men who have long Casanova phases.  

What he lacks in experience he makes up for in personalization of pleasure for his partners. He is more than willing to spend hours figuring out just what you like, enjoy, and love. He is also ready and willing to try pretty much anything you are interested in. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 

Sonny loves it when you ride him. Your breasts bouncing in his face as your needy cunt takes all of him. He can kiss down your chest, finding a hard nipple to suck and nibble on. He can thread his fingers through your hair and pull encouraging you to look in his eyes. His hands are free to caress your curves, grab your ass, or sneak his hand between you and rub your clit until you come on his cock. He has the option to sit back and enjoy what you are doing, hands busy with your body or he can grab your hips forcing you into stillness as he ruts up into you while pulling you down onto him.   

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

Sonny can be goofy but generally is more intense and focused on your pleasure. There are definitely times when he is more lighthearted. I think this would happen more in the morning when the two of you are waking up or lazing in bed. The teasing would ensue and lead to playful sex.   

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

Sonny isn’t vain but he does know that presentation matters and he likes to look his best, especially when it comes to you. Sonny keeps himself clean and his hair neatly trimmed no matter how tired and busy his life is. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

Sonny's intimacy is off the charts. He is a hopeless romantic- his parents have been together for over two decades. He wants to do the flowers and candles. The sweet words whispered in your ear, lingering kisses, fingertips dragging across your skin not leaving an inch untouched. Sonny plans an all-out night at least every other month though he tries to do it monthly. He lights candles, dims the lights, gets massage oil, and plans a hot bath with essential oils and bubbles for the two of you to soak in after.  

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 

Sonny masturbates quite a bit. He grew up Catholic and the guilt that came along with it. The push of abstinence and to stay free of sexual desire. It had Sonny finding release in his own hand for years. He hates feeling like he is pressuring anyone for sex and would rather get himself off than make you feel obliged to take care of him.  

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 

Sonny has a breeding kink. Everyone who grows up Catholic has a bit of one. He wants to knock you up. He wants to see you round with his baby, breast heavy, skin glowing. Sonny has a praise kink and likes sensation and impact play. He wants to spank your ass leaving it a pretty shade of pink. And anything else that can overstimulate you and leave you sensitive to his touch. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 

Sonny’s favorite place to have sex is in the dining room with you bent over the kitchen table. Sonny is always dominant and rough when you guys have sex there. You’ve been left with bruises on your hips and a pink ass from him spanking you more times than you can count. There are scratches on the floor that you try to cover from the table sliding back and forth. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 

It doesn’t take much to get Sonny turned on. He loves you and your body but you have noticed that Sonny gets particularly handsy when you wear sundresses. Seeing you in one can make him go from “we are late” to “we have a few minutes” with one glance. When you started to notice the pattern and have sex in more risqué spots- his car, bar bathroom- you stopped wearing panties. Now he has to “check” to make sure you have all of your proper clothes when you go to see family or fancy events. He strangely never seems to make you put them on when he notices you aren’t wearing them before you leave the apartment but has left you soaked with arousal and shaking after he ate you out with the few spare minutes you had before leaving. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 

Sonny is never going to be okay with bringing anyone else into the bedroom. Sonny wants all of your attention and is much too jealous to share you with anyone else. He is also uncomfortable with role-playing in any scenario where consent is forced or not given. He has worked in SVU too long and it makes his skin crawl. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

Sonny loves to receive oral sex but not nearly as much as he likes to give it. He has to taste you and was raised to eat his entire meal so you will just have to wait until he is done. If your legs are shaking and are almost overwhelmed by your third- or was it fourth- orgasm your arousal drenching his face and fingers he is sure you can still handle “Just one more baby, you taste so sweet, I just need one more.” You have to push him back or pull him up for a kiss to make him stop before he’s ready, sighing into his skin and telling him you’ve really had all you can take. 

As much as Sonny likes to get head, he doesn’t ask for it often. Mostly because you give it so often he doesn’t have to. But when he does it's usually because he is overwhelmed and beyond stressed out. You always take your time and drag it out purposely teasing him, getting him worked up enough to not only pull your hair but to start thrusting his hips up desperately needing the relief of your mouth on his throbbing cock. You revel in his loss of control urging him to continue nails raking at the back of his hips and side of his thighs.   

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

Sonny can be either. There is a time and a place for different types of sex and he knows it. It keeps things interesting. When you first got together with Sonny you were surprised by just how different the sex could be. Your first time was intimate and slow. He wanted you to know it meant more than just getting his dick wet. It stayed that way for a couple weeks with the added bonus of some playful lighthearted sex.  

Then Sonny had been busy with a big case and you hadn’t seen him in weeks. It had ended badly and was in desperate need of salvation and a way to work off his frustration and anger. He was on you like a starved man. Urgent and demanding. He held you just a little too tight, his kisses hot forceful, his movements dominant and possessive, and downright pantie-wetting sinful. When it’s over your body is pleasantly sore and thrumming with leftover pleasure you let out a giddy laugh running a hand through your sex hair and tell him “Next time I want you to pin my hands behind my back and take full advantage of me while you fuck me in front of that mirror.” Sonny's blue eyes blaze with heat and next time is as soon as Sonny can go another round. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

Sonny likes quickies! He is busy with work and after you have kids your time is pretty limited. If you guys can sneak in a quick roll in the sheets his answer is always yes. There is some adrenaline to knowing you are on a time crunch making it a more intense experience. The thought of you walking around in underwear soaked with your arousal and his come is erotic to Sonny.  

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 

Sonny is okay with experimenting for his partner but he isn’t usually the one to suggest trying new things. He does end up enjoying things you guys do together and incorporates them into your sex life. Sonny isn’t a huge risk-taker. He doesn’t want to cross lines where you could potentially get seriously hurt but he is a little risky on the location where you have sex. The riskiest location was in the backyard of his mother's house. 

 You had been in one of your horny moods and had been teasing him endlessly. You had a bad habit of winding him up when he couldn't do anything about it. When he was doing the dishes, you had hugged him from behind letting your hands wander to grab his cock through his jeans. He grabbed your arm and dragged you outside to the side of the house. He had spun you around forcing your hands on the siding of the house half bent over. He spanked your ass with enough force that it had its desired sting. His hand slid up your dress and rubbed you through your panties until they were soaked as he ground his cock against you. He had only undone his pants and slid your underwear to the side to fuck you quick and hard. He was just zipping up when his mother called for him out the backdoor. He had smacked your ass one more time and left you to catch your breath and gather yourself as he went inside telling his mom that he would mow her grass the next day because it was getting overgrown.  

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 

Sonny plays the long game when it comes to sex. He can be gentle and teasing and drag out the sex for hours. Sonny's refractory period is about twenty minutes to a half hour. If he is horny or has been a while without you, he could very well go all night. He always seems particularly needy when you are around your ovulation- even though he swears he doesn’t know when that is claiming that you just look damn sexy and you smell intoxicating. If you are in the mood for multiple rounds and he isn’t he just focuses on getting you off with his fingers and mouth. With his job, there is no surprise that certain cases make his sex drive tank. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 

I don’t think Sonny is against toys but they aren’t his first choice either.  He doesn’t use them on himself but will use them if you ask him to but he would prefer to bring you that pleasure himself. The only toys he ever bought you were anal plugs when you had agreed to try anal sex and had thoroughly enjoyed it. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)  

Sonny isn’t a big tease. That is something you are more likely to do and he loves it. When Sonny does attempt to hold off and make you wait, he is very easily persuaded to give you the attention you want. Your whimpers and grinding against him, one “Sonny please” and his willpower is gone.  

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

Sonny is pretty vocal. One of his love languages is words of affirmation and he loves hearing the sounds you make. He wants you to know how good you are making him feel too. He is Italian too, and they are generally loud-all of the time. 

There are certain times when Sonny just wants to talk through sex. It’s not all dirty, especially during playful sex. It can be about how beautiful he finds you- body and soul. Whispering how much he loves you, how he misses you. Then there is the filth where he tells you how bad he wants to be inside you, how good you make him feel, how intoxicating you look spread out for him, how much he wants a taste but a taste will never be enough.  

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 

Sonny used to be super insecure about his size. He heard the locker room talk at school and with the way that the other guys boasted he was sure that he was average-sized at best. Sonny never watched porn as a teenager because his mom was a helicopter parent and there was nothing in her household that she didn’t know. Sonny's first time was his senior year with a girl from another school. So, Sonny never heard what went through her school like wildfire after-

Sonny Carisi was hung. 

It wasn’t until after he graduated high school and started a relationship with a more adventurous and experience girl did he find out how above average he really was- “Fuck, baby your huge.” At first, he thought she was just trying to stroke his ego. He was still learning and getting more comfortable with sex. When she shook her head baffled and showed him a Google search his eyebrows had shot up and with a simple “Huh,” his insecurity dissipated.  

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 

Sonny has a tall, toned athletic body. He has a light dusting of chest hair and a happy trail under his belly button. Sonny is above average in size. He has big dick energy and the evidence doesn’t lie. He is well above average in length and pretty standard in thickness. He is a shower, not a grower.  

The first time you had felt Sonny up it was a happy accident while you guys were on the couch together watching a movie. His gray sweatpants did nothing to cover his size even when he was (mostly) soft. You had tried to make it seem like you hadn’t got a good feel and Sonny had graciously let you. All the while your mind was racing with the possibilities of how big he really was and how tight of a fit it would be when you finally had sex. Your thighs had unconsciously squeezed together imagining the pleasant stretch and how deep he would be seated in your needy pussy. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

Sonny has a very high sex drive. He keeps it on wraps because he doesn’t want to be viewed as a horn dog and has masterful control of it. If it was up to him, you would have sex pretty much daily, sometimes multiple times a day.

Sonny loves and takes full advantage of when you go through horny phases. He will gladly give up sleep and anything else to have all-nighters. He will keep going until the room is overwhelmed with the smell of sex and you are both sweaty, sticky, satisfied messes. He will go until you're so exhausted you don’t even want to move to clean up. He will go until you are so sensitive and overstimulated that you have to push him back unable to take anymore. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Sonny falls asleep pretty quickly after he makes sure that you get the aftercare you want and need. If he is wrapped around you or you are draped across him, he can sleep. Sonny is a pretty deep sleeper too. It is still a struggle to get out of bed with him though because he tightens his grip in his sleep when you try to get up or move around too much.  

[s1ushyz]

More ray appreciation because I'm in love with this man

[stardust-swan]

I'm convinced that the idea that "love is blind" is a pysop meant to brainwash women into settling for less. I always see beautiful women who clearly take care of themselves, dress well, get their lashes done, work out etc with boyfriends who look like they just rolled out of bed and put yesterday's clothes on. And I very rarely see this happening the other way around.

Men shill the idea that it's shallow for women to want someone who looks halfway decent but never hold themselves to this standard. They're so cruel to women they find unfuckable and treat women who they are attracted to but don't fit the societal beauty standard as dirty secrets (how many times have fat women talked about how men are happy to have sex with them but won't claim them in public because they think being seen with a fat woman is embarrassing?) The dadbod thing has been big for a couple of years while there has been no equivalent for mombods that gained traction (you know, the ones whose bodies actually went through physical changes due to pregnancy instead of just gaining weight from stealing their kid's snacks and watching the football instead of playing it).

It's so bad that even women shill this idea to other women. You have to ignore the fact that he never trims his beard and his daily outfit is a lint encrusted hoodie and sweatpants with a hole because if you don't you're shallow and not considering who he is on the inside too. We're told that being haggard shouldn't count as long as they have a good personality, and while I agree personality is important, a huge amount of men don't have good personalities. A lot of men are boring at best and a lot of them are just straight up assholes. Most of them aren't raking it in cash either to make up for their lack of looks and character. It's sad to see so many women doing the most for men who aren't particularly pleasant to be around, don't have money, and aren't physically appealing.

Men also shill this to eachother. I remember when I was a teenager there were huge hate trains almost entirely compromised of grown men against any pretty boy singer who got popular (Justin Bieber had it especially bad). They never did anything wrong (Justin Bieber's hate train was at its worst years before he started acting like a douche), men just hated them because they looked nice and girls liked them. They also act like any guy in real life who's comfortable with being attractive instead of purposefully making themselves unattractive to fit in with the other ugly men is gay and act bitterly when the men who actually make an effort get more female attention than a man who last showered three days ago. They act like women are catty bitches who hate prettier women when their egos are so fragile around men who look decent. There was even a recent study that suggested good looking men are at a disadvantage when applying for certain jobs, because their male colleagues feel threatened by them.

It wasn't always like this either. Not all that long ago it was expected that a man dress up nicely, wear cologne, style his hair etc when he was trying to court a woman.

When my mother was my age, she could just walk into a cinema and at any given time there would be films with leading men who looked like Leo, Depp, Brad Pitt, James Spader, River Phoenix, Will Smith, Denzel Washington, Brendan Fraser, etc. And now those World's Sexiest Men lists are filled with average or below average men and we're told that we're meant to cream our panties over guys who look indistinguishable or even worse than your average guy on the street. Right after this era my mum was young in was when the media started pushing this idea that we have to settle for unattractive men or else we're immature and shallow. There were a ton of movies with men like Adam Sandler pulling gorgeous 20 year old women just because they were funny. That stupid genre of movie where an awkward nerd pines over the cheerleader who is pining over a jock who's always portrayed as a bully that the cheerleader is framed as misguided or a bitch for wanting a handsome boyfriend instead of picking the nerd (even though the dork main character we're meant to root for also only likes the cheerleader for her looks and is just as much of an asshole as the jock) in became really popular around the same time.

Unsure of whether this is because of men complaining about beauty standards or other feminist concepts they only half understand (while female beauty standards never budge and have always and remain a much higher bar to reach than male beauty standards), or if men are just forcing this idea that looking like shit is cancelled out by telling a few dad jokes so that women will feel pressured into dating them no matter how busted they look just to not be alone.

[kuromi-hoemie]

im still thinking about it.. sir u are the most handsome man i have ever seen...

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille