#I just spent a lot of time in link's house drawing him in certain outfit and looking around his town on what to draw

[hedge-rambles]

"And who even cares about Babs?"

Been having some thoughts about Naberius Tern, following on from this post (OP @sainamoonshine) about Babs, and how we really ought to think more about him.

First things first: 1 - Our views of Babs are, I think, heavily skewed by the fact that Gideon is our POV character in GtN and she just straight up doesn't like him. 2 - I think @masctoast was onto something about Taz dropping Boofy to get us all thinking about Babs, but take it one further and it might be that he's still going to be important somehow beyond as just a fancy outfit for Ianthe.

I've written afore about how I think we need to definitely not underestimate Coronabeth, that despite Ianthe's view of things, Corona is wickedly smart and in a lot more control of situations than her sister ever realises. From that post:

The Third House is the house of lies and deceit said with a shining smile, of pretty words and poisoned knives. The reductive characterisation of the house as a whole is grasping and underhanded and raised to deceive for their own motives, it’s their job, but Coronabeth Tridentarius is an entire level beyond that.

But the thing to remember is that Babs is also Third House, and he was in on the ruse the whole time as well. Babs knew Corona wasn't a necro, and spent much of his life bonded to the two of them as part of the Grand Deception. And we know that was a partnership made up of two cavs and a necro really. I think that, fundamentally, Corona and Babs had a lot to connect over, having similar strengths (beautiful, strong, cavaliers) and similar trials (24/7 Ianthe exposure) and, though we don't see it played out in the books explicitly, we can infer some things.

In NtN, what is one of the first things Crown says to Ianthe wearing Babs? She complains that Ianthe just can't do Babs' hair right, and implies that she can and always could style his hair. She also used to do Ianthe's hair for her, and it's an intimate act in many ways, social grooming.

In GtN Corona reveals herself to be a fairly decent swordswoman, trained with the rapier in secret. Who exactly do we think trained Coronabeth? I think it's safe to say it was Babs, one of the only people in on the fact that she wasn't a necro. They shared their training with each other.

The first post I linked talks about the fact that, read a certain way, Babs is plausibly spending a lot of time making an arse of himself in order to protect Corona's secret. But I think, with that in mind, we can reread a specific early scene in GtN to suggest Corona is also protecting Babs.

Ianthe is cruel and vicious and self absorbed and prickly, and of the trio she's the only one who's an adept. A flesh adept no less, and presumably able to inflict some truly unpleasant non-lethal acts on anyone who draws her ire. In their first proper scene, Gideon spies them all having one of their little tiffs, in which Babs has a go at Ianthe in defence of Corona. How does Corona respond? She leaps to Ianthe's defence, pinching Babs' ear and telling him to back the fuck off. We know now that Ianthe was not someone desperately in need of protecting, neither physically nor emotionally, she wasn't some weak, wilting wallflower.

So why did she do it? Was it because of her deeply enmeshed, codependent thing with her sister? Well, yes, obviously. But if we consider that Corona and Babs may have been genuinely close friends, actually cared about each other's wellbeing...that can be read as having another layer to it. That is to say, Corona is protecting Babs from Ianthe, by taking control of the situation, salving Ianthe's anger and also ensuring that the only harm that comes to Babs is relatively minor, compared to what Ianthe might be able to do.

And it makes sense, the three of them have been together for a long time, and for all Ianthe and Corona desperately love each other in their fucked up way, I think Corona and Naberius may have had a very deep connection as each other's confidants and friends. Babs was one of the few people Corona could bitch to about Ianthe, one of the only people who genuinely knew what was going on with them. Babs was the only person she could really talk to about cav shit, who knew she was truly made to be a cavalier, not a necro - her secret sparring partner.

We can never take anything said and done by the Third House at face value, their whole deal is social subterfuge. Knives and plots hidden behind glittering smiles. I think Corona spent much of her life deceiving Ianthe as to how much power she actually wielded, how much control she actually had over their ruse. In NtN we see how quick and adept she is at handling Ianthe, even when her sister is on a level of power unto a minor god.

And I'm not sure we can even trust her words fully at the end of GtN when Ianthe ate Babs. In that scene, Babs is dead, Ianthe is Ianthe and Corona is a blubbering mess, distraught.

Corona recoiled from Gideon and looked up at her, her golden hair smeared to her forehead with sweat and tears. “She took Babs,” she said, which seemed fair enough. But then Corona started crying again, big tears leaking out of her eyes, her voice thick with misery and self-pity. “And who even cares about Babs? Babs! She could have taken me.

I think it's safe to say that part of this is 100% as it's surface read, Corona's massive co-dependence with Ianthe, she honestly feels upset that Ianthe didn't eat her soul. But I think there's another layer to her grief, that Gideon thinks she's been mistaken about after the first pass. I think she's genuinely upset about the loss of Babs, her friend and confidant, her second closest person other than Ianthe.

"And who even cares about Babs?" You did, Coronabeth Tridentarius. You cared about Babs.

[hopeshoodie]

Part 7 of my Pros and Cons of dating the different islanders (yes I’m finally coming back to this :P) 

Gary

Cons

He doesn’t have a whole lot of thoughts about things that he’s not actively excited or annoyed by, and he doesn’t really feign interest. If MC buys a new top, or is invested in a new show, or anything that Gary doesn’t really care about, he’ll really disinterestedly say “that’s cool babe,” and make her feel like it’s unimportant. He’s not patronizing/embarrassing her on purpose, he just doesn’t have a lot of tact. You would have to really talk to him and work with him to get him out of this habit, because he doesn’t see how it’s hurtful or care that much to change.

He gets really defensive. If you call him out on his behavior or point out how he’s really stubborn, he’ll argue with you without really considering if his behavior is bad. Arguments with Gary suck because it gets to a point where he’s not hearing you and will just say “whatever” and refuse to engage. The best way to change Gary’s behavior is some pavlovian shit- you need to offer positive reinforcement without him really noticing. When he communicates really well, shower him with affection. When he picks up after himself, tell him how much you appreciate it. 

He’s very willing to walk away from things that challenge him instead of trying to grow as a person. We saw that with him and Lottie- whenever she or MC offered valid criticism of his behavior he would just walk away. That applies to most areas of his life- if he tries a new hobby and isn’t good at it immediately he’ll drop it. He doesn’t really like trying new things or going to new places, and if something challenges his worldview he’s more likely to ignore it than engage.

I’ve said this already but he buys MC heart shaped jewelry and pandora charm bracelets...

Gary’s a lad. While he doesn’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings, he never really engaged with social justice issues and he hasn’t done the work needed to be anti-racist. He’ll laugh along to sexist, racist, homophobic, and ableist jokes without really thinking about the implication. He’s loath to call anyone out. If MC points out ‘hey that thing you/your friend said is hurtful,” he’ll get defensive and say “why are you ruining a good time? It was just a joke” If MC sits down and explains to him how the things he says are actively hurting her, he’ll internalize that and not do it. But he’s really hesitant to say the same to other people- he doesn’t want to ‘ruin the mood’ and get made fun of for being ‘PC’. 

Gary’s super dense. He doesn’t really pick up hints very well, so MC needs to explicitly tell him “I need you to compliment this dress” or “we haven’t gone on a proper date in awhile and I’m feeling undesired, can we go out for dinner tomorrow?” I firmly believe that the reason Gary tolerated all of Lottie’s passive aggressiveness was because he didn’t pick up on it, so MC needs to be direct. 

He doesn’t appreciate all the effort it takes to get all dolled up, even though he loves it when MC goes all out. I know he SAYS he doesn’t like high maintenance women, but in canon when given the choice between Hannah (seemingly low maintenance) and Marisol (very outgoing and done up), he chooses the higher-maintenance option. Every woman he dated on the show was a glam kind of girl- MC, Lottie, Marisol. So while he loves when MC has a full face and outfit done, he complains about how long it takes her and how she always sneaks away for touch ups during the night. He’s one of those dudes who is like “wow you’re so pretty without makeup” but you’re literally wearing foundation, contour, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush- he thinks the difference between makeup and not wearing any makeup is red lipstick. This is super annoying because MC puts a lot of effort into her look only for him to downplay that effort but still enjoy the results. 

Building off of the above, Gary severely underestimates how much effort it takes to do “domestic work” like cooking, cleaning, and administrating for the household (I imagine pre-MC he forgets to do the basics like renew licenses, register to vote, schedule appointments, etc). So if MC points out how she spent the whole day cleaning, he’ll be like “that seems a bit much? You just cleaned the kitchen?” and doesn’t really get it until MC breaks down “I swept and washed the floor, I disinfected the dishwasher, I ran cleaners through the sink link, I cleaned out and organized the fridge, I dusted and sanitized the chandelier, I organized the spice drawer,  I wiped out the cabinets…” He’s not really motivated to learn how to clean or do laundry or cook.

He doesn’t communicate. This is canon- he doesn’t tell Lottie where his head is at in the game, he strings Lottie and Hannah along, and he doesn’t reassure MC when other girls are clearly cracking on with him. So most of the problems in a relationship with Gary come from MC not knowing what he wants and him never initiating emotionally vulnerable conversations. 

He’s not going to do well if MC needs to travel a lot for work, and he’s not going to move to live with her. Even after his nan dies, I don’t see him leaving Chatham. So if moving to a new place is important to you, this is a dealbreaker.

Pros

If something goes really wrong, he’ll never do the same thing twice. This applies to physical mistakes as well as emotional- if he forgets to wear eye protection and gets sawdust in his eyes, he’ll be religious about wearing glasses from them on. If he forgets a birthday or anniversary and makes MC cry, he will be SO diligent from then on about remembering dates. On that thought, he HATES seeing MC cry. He will move heavens and earth to stop whatever’s upsetting her or fix it. 

Hugs and cuddling from Gary? So comforting. He just has that vibe, like he’s a really good cuddler. Not to mention that he’s really good at the nasty in canon, so it would stand to reason………

All of that internalized masculinity has an upside- he wants to take care of his family. He’s on top of all the ‘masculine’ caretaking stuff like buying a home, maintaining the landscaping, fixing the tires on the vehicles, shoveling, fixing stuff up around the house, managing the cable/internet/tech. Which is nice because I hate doing those things, but also I’m absolutely teaching him how to do laundry and pick up after himself. 

Gary is SO calm in emergency situations. I have this headcanon for Rahim too, but the more panicked those around them get, the calmer they are. Especially in situations where they’ve prepared/considered before like tornadoes or floods. They’re not the kind of guys who take the lead normally, but in these super dire situations they find it in them to take over and calm everyone else down. I can see him having a lowkey stockpile of food, an emergency first aid kit, and a go-bag. 

I know people don’t like this headcanon, but too bad. Gary is catholic. That’s the law. Sorry I don’t make the rules. That’s not so much of a pro for me, an atheist nihilist lesbian, but I can recognize a religious man has a certain amount of charm. He has a close knit community, is super consistent about attending services, and has a certain level of taking morals really seriously. He definitely donates a fair bit to charity and is always the one saying “love thy neighbor” when people are being shitty. 

Gary’s spontaneous, but in a controlled way. He very much likes his routine and respects MC’s need for consistency. But periodically he’ll just be like “we have nothing planned for today- want to go rent a paddleboat?” or he’ll pick up flowers “just because”. If MC and he are going on a vacation, he much prefers to only plan 1 or 2 things to do a day and then once they’re in the place see interesting things and suggest ‘let’s do that’. He’ll do really thoughtful stuff like text MC if she has anything planned for dinner then randomly bring her favorite restaurant food home. Thursday nights are date nights!! Doing formal ‘dress up nice and go to a proper dinner date without the kids and movie’ is really important to him.

Gary’s a really good dad. Like yeah he has a lot to learn about not telling his son to ‘stop crying’ and not telling his daughter ‘no boys until you’re married’, but he genuinely wants the best for them. He’s really supportive of their hobbies/sports/interests, and will happily pay for summer camp/field trips/conventions. He might not ‘get it’ all the time, but he’ll smile and nod. 

He gets a lot of delight out of really little things. If his kid draws something for him, he’ll pin it to the fridge and smile at it every time he sees it without fail. If MC says she likes a certain shirt on him, he’ll triple the amount of times he wears it. He keeps the bird feeders outside their dining room window full, because he can happily sit with a cup of coffee and watch the birds for hours. It truly is the little things.

He’s really good at remembering MC’s favorite things, or even things she mentioned liking once. This is to the point where it’s a bit confusing. MC will compliment Gary’s nan on her christmas poinsettias one year, then two years later Gary buys a ton of poinsettias and is like “I thought you loved poinsettias” and not be able to remember why he thought that. So MC has to be careful with fake compliments, because Gary cannot tell the difference. But that’s still, like, super endearing and nice of him. 

There’s a few LIs that I feel like could get bored in a long-term relationship. I can see Lucas, Felix, and Rahim feeling like they’re ‘falling out of love’ when the intensity of a new relationship fades and they struggle to settle into domesticity. Gary is NOT one of them. He’s one of those “I fall in love with you more every single day” kind of guys. As MC gains weight/ages, he’ll insist “you age like a fine wine” and “I like you more with meat on your bones”. He’ll insist to their kids that “your mom is the most beautiful woman on earth”. Gary was built for long-term relationships.

[nate-the-dreamer-blog]

I have 180 hours of gameplay in BOTW and I’m pretty sure that 80 of those hours is just me looking for koroks, Sidon and Link’s house just for drawing reference, also link needs to visit his fish bae

[late-nightdevil]

i’m lonely, part one

read part two here

Word count: 3K

Warnings: none

Summary: loosely based of the song “fuck, i’m lonely” by lauv ft. anne-marie or where Calum dumped Brooklyn and now neither of them are happy

Authors Note: honestly this is shit and i’m sorry but i’m trying to get back into writing and practice makes perfect right?? requests & feedback are openly welcome!!

It’s been sixteen months since my life was destroyed.

Well, that’s a little dramatic.

It’s been sixteen months since my heart was ripped out of my chest, stomped on the ground, thrown into a pot of boiling water until it disintegrated into nothing but remnants of a girl who thought she could love a boy; leaving behind the broken pieces of her soul and no way to put them back together.

Okay, maybe I’m a little dramatic.

But who wouldn’t be after getting dumped by your boyfriend of two years, who doubled as your best friend for even longer? With nothing more than a pathetic, “I want to explore my options,” as a reason to break my heart?

Oh fucking well I guess, such is life. Situations like those are what lessons are bred from, and you learn to move on. It’s been an incredibly difficult ride, but sex, parties, and a lot of alcohol seemed to solve all my issues pretty efficiently. And by solved, of course I mean pushed so far into the back of my mind that I couldn’t possibly need to deal with them anytime soon.

So tonight, like any other Friday night in a hopeless college town, I’ll be attending a party at one of the many frat houses that thrive off of girls like me - girls who just want to forget.

“Brookie, have you seen your pink dress anywhere? I can’t find it.”

My attention is quickly stolen away from the current daze I was in, eyes locking in on Melissa swiftly moving my clothes back and forth in the closet. “What’s wrong with that you’re wearing?”

She huffed aggressively, as if the question was uncalled for. “Michael is supposed to be there tonight, I can’t wear jeans! Do you know how hard it is to be seductive in jeans?”

I mutter a smart, “it’s not hard if you do it right,” but it fell on deaf ears. Standing from my bed and walking behind her, my gaze settles on the dress in question in a matter of moments. “Here, go change. We’re supposed to leave in less than an hour and you’re nowhere near done.”

Her lips land on my cheek in a quick peck, following a ‘thank you!’ as she heads to the bathroom to get ready. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at her eagerness. Melissa has had eyes on the edgy guitar player for months now, but lacks the amount of confidence to do anything other than stalk him at every social gathering. Deciding on becoming her wing-woman, I downplay my outfit into a simple white crop top and high-waisted, distressed shorts.

Mel had been there for the break up as a shoulder to cry on and soon became an easy friend. She was sweet enough to introduce me to her group, a few more girls and a couple of guys who were all truly kind people. After learning of my situation, they all were very supportive and offered a hand in back up if I ever wanted to take revenge on the boy who tore me apart. Shocking even to myself, however, I never took them up on that offer. He switched majors and I never really saw him again, spending most of his time on a different side of campus, I guess. Better for the both of us.

She stepped out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, makeup and hair done to the nines. Her princess-like ambiance battled my simple attire, but it fit us well. I took my hair out of the Dutch braids I had it in, letting the waves fall naturally just below my shoulders. My simple makeup from the day would do fine, just a touch more of my trusty burgundy lipstick and I was ready to go. As if the universe was on my side, we both soon receive a text from the group chat, signaling their arrival. I grabbed my flannel, and Melissa, and headed out the door.

Fifteen minutes later and we pull onto the proper street, cars were lined up and down the entire block. Ashton, the lucky one who drew the straw for designated driver, soon parked near the house as someone else was leaving.

“Two am guys, meet back here.” He swung his arm over his girlfriends shoulder and made his way into the house before Melissa and me, along with the rest of the group.

“Alright Mel, we only have one mission tonight: get you laid.” She blushed softly and giggled at my blunt words, but nodded her head in agreement. “Just stay close, let me know if you see him first. I have a plan.”

I didn’t, really, but I’m quite good on my feet. I’m sure I can come up with something on the spot.

Arms linked, for now at least, I dragged her to the kitchen to help take the edge off and start tonight off right. I grab the first bottle of dark liquor I see, along with two red cups, and pour a shot in each of them.

“Cheers!” We say in unison, before repeating the glorious ceremony a few more times. The crowded living room soon draws us in, enveloping is in the mass of people who just want to dance their worries away. Our bodies move together as we face the opposite ways, still on the eager search for the dirty-blonde haired boy.

I can feel the small amounts of alcohol begin to make its course through my bloodstream, heating every ounce of my body that it touches. A familiar song comes on and I can’t help but lose myself in it; well, moreso the memories it holds. Flashbacks of nights spent together in blissful happiness seem to cloud my rational thoughts. The need to feel the comfort of his hands on my waist becomes an overwhelming feeling that I can’t, and really don’t want to, ignore.

I need another drink.

My body whips around to let Melissa know, but I find myself face to face with a stranger, my friend nowhere to be seen. Assuming she slipped away for the same reason I wanted to, I find my way back to the kitchen, but not before catching a glimpse of my pink dress; the only recognizable object peeking through the silhouette of a certain guitarist.

Good for her.

I continued my journey to the kitchen and quickly mix the first two things I found that made sense, vodka and lemonade of course, and filled my cup to the brim with it. Before I knew it, half the cup was down my throat, and I could soon feel the bass of every song synching to my heart beat.

“Rough night, Brooke?” Smooth fingers made their way around my waist and the smell of vanilla musk filled my nostrils. It was comforting, to say the least.

My body naturally leaned into his chest. “I’m alright, Luke. Just washing away some memories, s’all.” I shot him a reassuring smile, which he returned with a kiss on the top of my head.

Luke and I have both been through a rough break up recently and we’ve helped each other in various ways. He’s one of Melissa’s friends that I bonded to early on, he’s just so easy to talk to. Plus, you know, we have casual friends-with-benefits sex every once in a while. A great coping mechanism, really.

“You know I’m willing to help with whatever you need, babe. Just say the word.” He placed another kiss, this time low on my cheek, in a suggestive manner.

I considered taking him up on his offer, seeing as my mission has been concluded for the night. Just as I’m going to finish my drink and take him upstairs, I hear an unmistakable sound that brought chills to my spine.

Laughter.

Not just any laughter, but laughter I haven’t heard in over a year, and thought I’d never hear again.

Oh how I wanted to be wrong. To tell myself it’s just the drinks, the music, and how a bunch of people must have the same voice. How there’s no way in hell I’m about to face my fears while under the influence.

My first instinct is to run and hide, and not come out until it was two a.m. and my group would congregate together again. My second instinct, which seemed to be influenced by the liquid courage coursing through me, was to act like he didn’t even exist. To go upstairs with Luke and fuck his brains out, effectively forgetting this is even happening.

Both of those options flew out the window when he came into sight.

First it was his arm, littered with tattoos that I've traced with my tongue, and new ones that have yet to be touched. The bicep that seemed to flex whenever he laughed, as if he couldn't help but draw attention from every girl in the room with such subtleties. Then it was the shirt; red border on the sleeves and presumptuously on the collar as well, a clean white base seems bright against his tan skin. Words poked out, above and below a set of red lips, but my brain was too focused elsewhere to comprehend the letters. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw next. As my eyes traveled up his striking body, my sights set on the bleach blonde hair atop his head. A stark contrast to the black waves that were there before; and some part of me deep down really likes it.

I hadn’t noticed how tightly I clung onto the tall boy at my side, as if he could protect me from my thoughts. After gathering enough strength to stop my staring, I looked up at Luke, a silent plea escaping my lips. His features laced with concern as his eyes followed the path mine had just left.

His eyes grew wide with the realization of my dilemma and sprung into action. With an arm wrapped tight around my shoulders, he turns us around to head deeper into the kitchen. The back door comes into sight and just as I begin collecting my thoughts, a soft, curious voice rang through my ears, making me stop in tracks.

“Brooklyn?”

It was as if the world had gone silent. The dull thumping of the music, the monotone beat of my heart, and the dismal whispers of the crowded mansion disappeared as my name left his lips.

My muscles tightened as my senses heightened, the atmosphere grew cold and dry. I couldn’t speak even if I wanted to. Every ounce of my being was screaming run; run away, run and hide to the far corners of the earth, run and bury my head deep into the earth so that I could never hear him utter my name ever again.

But I couldn’t do it.

I stayed, planted in my spot, like I was waiting for a burning fire to consume me whole. What was mere moments stretched into hours in my mind. The next sound I could comprehend was the hoarse tone of Luke saying my name, and I immediately hated the way it sounded coming from his lips.

“C’mon, babe. Go outside. I’ll take care of this.” His arm squeezed mine protectively, which I usually find comforting, but right now I just want him to leave my side.

He urges me towards the door, but I stay still. My confidence slowly comes back to me and I utter a quiet, “no.” I was saying no to going outside, no to leaving my situation and problems behind. But it was more than that. “No, I can’t.. I- I need..”

What?

What do I need?

I need to continue avoiding my problems, pushing them deeper and deeper until they disappear again.

Or do I need to face him? Say all the things I didn’t get to say when he crushed my soul the first time?

Am I even strong enough to do that?

I threw back the rest of the drink in my cup as if it were water. The burning sensation felt good, soon helping me regain control of my not-so-sober thoughts. “I need to talk to him. Luke, just go outside, I’ll be right there.”

His eyes showed signs of disappointment, knowing there was no way he could talk me out of it. His eyes glanced over at the patient boy behind me before kissing my forehead tenderly. “Come get me if you need me, baby.” His tone rose loud enough that I’m sure he heard. This whole moment would’ve been truly endearing if it hadn’t been an act of protection. Luke and I were nowhere near being a couple, but that wouldn’t stop the jealous boy behind me from reacting to what he witnessed.

Luke walked out the back door and I slowly turned around, silently thanking the alcohol for the encouragement. His brown eyes bore into mine and my heart ached at the glimpse of pain inside them. We both took a step forward to close the space between us and I let go of the massive breath I’ve been holding in.

“Calum.”

“That’s some bodyguard of a boyfriend you have there. Didn’t expect you to.. move on, into that direction I mean.” His words come out slow and unsure, alcohol evident on his breath. His smell was intoxicating, a smooth mix of his signature cologne with the rum based cocktail still in his hand.

“He’s..” my immediate reaction was to explain myself, unfolding for him as if he even deserved a response. “He’s my friend. Just trying to look out for me.” I couldn’t take my stare away from his stern gaze, not breaking contact even to blink, as if he were afraid I’d disappear the second he looked away.

Our eyes searched each other’s souls for what must’ve been an eternity until I gathered the muster to speak again. “You changed your hair.”

A small smirk showed on his lips at the obvious observation. His eyes moved up to survey my hair, which has been dyed black and cut short since he last saw me. A finger came up slowly and wrapped itself around a dark curl, gently stroking the strand, admiring it. “You did too. It suits you. I really like it.” The smile on his lips grew a little, and I couldn’t help but mirror it.

The air grew thin once we went silent. Small talk didn’t feel right. I wanted to pull his body into mine, connecting us once more and never letting go again. Until I remember that I’m not the one who let him go the first time.

“I was looking for that flannel the other day.” He grinned wide enough for his teeth to show and my heart all but exploded. “I can’t believe I forgot that I gave that to you. It looks way better on you than it ever did on me.” His finger moved down to lightly trace the collar, dangerously close to my neck. His words were as smooth as butter and I was ready to melt into his touch, but I had to stay strong. Or at least act like I was.

“I never really got a chance to give it back to you.” I tore my attention away from his face, looking down at our feet. “Why are you here, Calum? I’ve never seen you on this side of campus. You hate parties.”

His touch left and I felt the atmosphere grow colder at the loss. “A friend wanted company. I owed them a favor.” He was withholding something from me, the sudden drop in his tone and lack of eye contact proved it. “What about you? I thought you hated alcohol.”

He gestures his cup towards my empty one and just a bit of anger boils inside me. Before I could catch myself, I slipped out words laced with bitterness. “It’s the only thing that’s been able to temporarily numb the pain.”

The look in his eyes turned sorrowful, as if he is just now realizing how difficult even simple conversation is for me. “Brooke.. I still think about you, about us..” He stepped forward once more, closing the space between us. The warmth radiating off his hand crept onto my cheek, barely skimming the surface before a shrill voice took us out of our trance.

“Cal! There you are!” A flash of blonde pulled us apart, grabbing onto his shoulders from behind, trying to turn him to face her. The reluctance in his eyes was noticeable, and his body visibly stiffened at her touch. He wants her here even less than I do.

“Vicky, give me a minute, I’m kinda-“ he tries to brush her hands off, but her eyes whole body slumps against his back. She didn’t like being dismissed. I didn’t like being lied to.

“It’s alright, Cal. You seem.. preoccupied.” I smack on a fake smile that I knew he could see right through. Placing my cup on the nearby counter, I peek back at the same face I’ve been dying to see for months, now dressed in a regret that I’d never expect. We stood silent, not the slightest bit of motion coming from either of us, as if our hearts had stopped together. As if the dream was over, and we were ready to wake up. I had to leave before it turned into a nightmare.

One last look in his mournful eyes and I was done.

“Goodnight, Calum. It was nice seeing you.”

[segadores-y-soldados]

Do you think any ship will ever be confirmed canon or do you think Blizzard will hint at ships but never make them canon?

So, obviously there’s one big ship that I would really LOVE to be confirmed canon.  I’m toeing the line between being optimistic about it and being “realistic” (aka, it will never be confirmed and will only ever be implied).That disclaimer out of the way -Here’s some of the stuff that Michael Chu himself has either said or done that heavily implies at least two ships in particular may eventually become canon or close to canon:

(More under the cut)

1. Anahardt (Ana Amari/Reinhardt Wilhelm): technically, their in-game interactions are NOT “canon” (no one knows Ana is alive besides Soldier: 76, Reaper, Sombra, and possibly Pharah), but they obviously have a very flirtatious interaction which inspired the ship (along with their early in-game syngery of “Nanoboost the Paladin”).  However, while their in-game interaction isn’t confirmed canon, in Michael Chu’s 2017 GDC talk, he really emphasized how important both Ana and Reinhardt were to Fareeha as she grew up.  In that same section of the talk about Fareeha’s relationship with Ana “and other heroes like Reinhardt,” he pulled up Fareeah’s combined “ice fishing” spray with Reinhardt.  Fareeha also has a special “final blow” quote for when she kills an enemy Reinhardt (an apologetic “Oooh, sorry, Reinhardt!” vs her smugger final blow quotes against McCree, Reaper, and Widowmaker) - her final blow quote against Reinhardt almost sounds like she accidentally hit him.  We know she also idolized him enough to have a poster of him on her wall growing up, and it is loosely implied that Reinhardt’s love of rockets (rocket armor in particular) inspired Fareeha’s own love of rockets.

Along those lines, although the Ana-Reinhardt interactions in the game are not canon, they do imply certain things about their relationship.  I tend to interpret the non-canon in-game interactions as “here are what the characters would say if they were put in this scenario” - they give us insight on their personalities and past relationships.  Ana has a quote where if she witnesses Reinhardt kill an enemy, she compliments him with a coy “Reinhardt, you haven’t lost a step,” and if an ally Reinhardt dies, she shouts “Reinhardt!”  She has similar lines with Soldier: 76, but based on the fact that the two literally sleep in separate rooms (in the Necropolis), we can kinda assume they’re really just friends.  Ana is also the only person to teasingly chastize Reinhardt “don’t go charging in there on your own” in the Uprising dialogue.Reinhardt seemingly does not have a spouse or children.  In “Reflections,” he and Brigitte are shown to be at Torbjörn’s house for the holidays, where he is reading a book to Torbjörn’s grandchildren.  We don’t know the full details of his relationship with Brigitte, but they seem to fall under more of a master-apprentice, knight-smith, or mentor-mentee relationship.It is loosely implied that Ana’s relationship with Fareeha’s biological father is either friendly or non-existent - she makes no references to him at any point, and the only image of them together is her Uprising spray, where they are shown together with a baby Fareeha.  Given that we know Ana worked for Overwatch since its founding (about 25-30 years), and we also know that Fareeha’s father appears to have “stayed put” in Canada, they likely spent almost no time together.  This does not negate the possibility that they maintained a relationship, but it does put considerable stress on them.  We do also know that they were never married (http://harmicist.tumblr.com/post/156761148006/theres-a-lot-of-drama-going-on-about-reapers), as Fareeha inherited Ana’s surname, which is not typical of Arabic naming conventions.�� It is possible that Fareeha’s father belongs to a tribe with matrilineal naming patterns, but until Blizzard confirms this, I won’t wait for it.Lastly, Chu has liked a number of Anahardt or “Amari-Wilhelm family” (Ana, Fareeha, and Reinhardt) pictures on twitter.My gut tells me that if any ship in the entire game is going to be made canon, it will be Anahardt - they have easy in-game synergy, they have the classic “tank-healer” gameplay relationship, they’re both badass older characters, they flirt together, they have complimentary design elements (missing eyes), they both inspired Fareeha, they have a long personal history together that could easily be explored in side material, etc.  And frankly, they’re both a “safe” bet while still being pretty incredibly groundbreaking: how frequently do you see two 60+ yo characters, both of whom have physical scarring and are blind in one eye, one of whom is an older Arabian woman, being loving and supportive together in media or video games?2. Reaper76.

Alright.So last time I tried to discuss “the evidence” for this ship, I got a handful of comments telling me that I was “reading too much into it,” but a I got a ton of notes from people thanking me for putting it all into words.  So forgive me if I’m a little wary of doing this song and dance again.I guess we’ve all been burned one too many times by media creators who tease LGBT relationships or characters and never confirm anything “in canon.”  I don’t blame anyone for being exhausted by this discussion.  My other, non-OW OTP falls exactly into this category - two masculine characters who spend not one, but two games falling in love, being supportive of each other, growing together as individuals, and then literally run off into the sunset together only for other fans to consistently say, “Well, they were never confirmed to be romantic.”  The second game came out in 2007, so you can imagine how long THAT discussion has been going on.So just to start off with, I’m just going to drop this here:http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/160801745270/overdaddys-skeletonsock-vigorous-side-eyeing

Along with this: 

http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/159728931935/reaper-and-soldier-american-cultural-references

And this: http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/163703769040/so-kerrigore-asked-a-question-about-necropolisAnd this: http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/161011920475/shortstoutandswedish-segadores-y-soldadosUnlike Anahardt, which people have “collected fewer pieces for” (I should probably do that…go through and get screenshots of things), the “evidence” for Reaper76 has been screenshotted, quoted, linked to, teased about, etc, etc, etc, add all the verbs you want, etc.  Alongside Roadhog and Junkrat, Reaper and Soldier: 76 are the main masculine characters to share combined sprays (the Contra sprays), and matching voicelines (”What are you looking at?”; “Whatever you say.”/“Moving on.”).  They also have voicelines referencing the Old Soldiers comics (Soldier: 76: “You’re the boss.” > “My old boss used to say there’s no such thing as luck.”) (Reaper: “No one left behind.” > “He did this to me, Ana.  They left me to become this thing.”).  With the Summer Games 2 update, Soldier: 76 now has an American music reference (“Bring the noise!  Bring the ruckus!”), and Reaper got a goddamn biker outfit, drawing even closer parallels between them.In the Uprising comic, Jack has a brief opportunity to talk about his motivations and frustrations regarding both the American military and then early Overwatch.  Rather surprisingly, he makes no references to “family,” “honor,” “duty,” “freedom,” or any other “noble” “all-American” justifications for war and fighting (I’m rolling my eyes here, believe me, I’m sick of it too) - but instead, Jack calmly describes how “Commander Reyes and I…Well, they tried everything,” effectively cutting off his first train of thought about Gabriel and switching gears to talking about politicians and military leaders (presumably, people related to SEP).  His dialogue makes it sound like Gabriel and Overwatch were his main motivations for fighting in the war, and we know that at least one article described them as “joining Overwatch together” (https://playoverwatch.com/en-us/blog/19809396/). 

Much like Ana and Reinhardt, Gabriel and Jack seemingly do not have spouses or children (obviously Ana has Fareeha, but she appears to be her only child) - Gabriel appears to have a connection with the family in Reflections, but their relationship to each other in unknown.  And much like Ana and Reinhardt, Gabriel and Jack have spent at least 25, possibly up to 30 years working together, and despite the “in-universe rumors” that Gabriel was upset that Jack got the Strike-Commander position over him, neither character ever references “the promotion.”  In fact, no characters reference the promotion.  In my opinion, the article that does reference this (the one I just linked to) has been retconned, or the plot point about the promotion was abandoned (along with other early-story stuff like “First Strike”).  When First Strike was canceled, Michael Chu’s post on the subject made it sound like the Blizzard team had completely rethought some of their early story stuff - and this shows particularly clearly with Reaper/Gabriel, who has gotten more fan-based, “lighthearted” stuff like the Shrug, his Uprising dialogue, the biker skin, the Necropolis map, etc.

Speaking of Michael, regardless of what people say, it is very apparent that he loves the character of Reaper/Gabriel when he talks.  His GDC talk is enlightening in that he always lists Gabriel first when he talks about the original Strike Team, he is very passionate that “villains can be just as amazing as heroes,” he loves playing with perspective and unreliable narrators, etc.  Before anyone jumps on me, please note I’m not defending his mistakes nor saying that Michael is above critique (he’s not), but I do think that he’s passionate about giving Reaper/Gabriel the storyline he deserves, and I think he’s learned a lot from the fans and fan reactions about what that is and how to “build” that.And more on Michael - he loves the Reaper “beans” or Reaper “birbs” concepts. Like… a lot.  You can check his twitter likes for yourself (https://twitter.com/westofhouse/likes) (including this https://twitter.com/westofhouse/status/903748787793006593), and on occasionHe will like things tagged “Reaper76″ or “R76.”So for anyone thinking “he has no idea what’s happening, he doesn’t care,” etc, he knows.  He knows very well what’s happening in the fandom.Michael is also a big fan of the Legend of Korra, as well as Korrasami, and at the end of his GDC talk, he discusses Tracer/Lena, in which he was very passionate and vocal about how the team wanted to convey her relationship with Emily, how important it was to show her using her chronal “disability” (his word choice, not mine) in an every day, cute situation, how they wanted Tracer/Lena to be the uplifting, inspiring, charismatic hero who “represented everything positive about Overwatch.”  Tracer/Lena represents Blizzard’s commitment to “doing right by a character and all she represents, both in fiction and in the real world.”  A recent article went out showing that Blizzard is looking into hiring more feminine/women programmers and developers, and in that article they state that they have routine discussions and focus groups with their LGBT members as well.They are not perfect.  They have made mistakes regarding representation, and they will do so in the future.  This is NOT a forgiveness of that.  This is a write up on their efforts.  I recognize completely that efforts may not result in anything tangible.  Efforts without lasting effects can mean very little, but if fans want a dialogue with media creators like Michael and his team at Blizzard, then we need to recognize what effort does count for.  Providing feedback on what Blizzard has done well and what they have messed up on is important.Why do I bring this up?Because if we want Reaper76 to be canon, and we want it “done well,” then we have to continue critiquing Michael and his team, but in constructive manners.  They do look at sites like twitter and reddit (as evidenced by the “Take Out” vs “Take Away” sign changes in Junkertown).  They love fanart and fan content, and are not ashamed to show it.  But I think that, if they are going to make Reaper76 canon, it’s going to take a very, very long time.  They will make mistakes.  They will probably fumble with parts of it.  But if we’re giving the “evidence” of Reaper76 the same sort of weight that we can give Anahardt, then we need to hope that their intentions are there.  I know that’s a lot to ask, so I’m not asking for anyone to stick with them for that long.  As I said in the beginning, I myself am toeing the line.  Rather than wait to be drip-feed “implied relationship content” between Reaper/Gabriel and Soldier: 76/Jack, I’ve done what many do and tried to work on my own content for myself.  It’s been satisfying to do, and when new content does come out, I’m excited, but each comic feels too short and each animation is spaced so far appart from each other.Sorry if this rambled a lot.  The short of it is:If any ship is going to become canon, I think it will be Anahardt.  The second ship that might become canon is actually Reaper76, but don’t be surprised if it takes another year, two years to get there.  Soon TM and all that jazz.  And while I have other ships, I’m not holding out for any of those, including Bunnyribbit, which I know the HotS team and even Johnny Cruz really like.  I could probably write a whole post on the economics and social aspects of shipping, and how media companies profit when they DON’T confirm ships vs. when they do.  Blizzard’s choice to create Emily and put her in a canonical romantic relationship with “their mascot” Tracer/Lena is an incredible choice against the “economy of free shipping” (lol), and I’m waiting to see if they’ll do it again with another ship in Overwatch.  Only time will tell.