#I just really want Kylo to sing the Disturbed version of Sound of Silence | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crepeycrepeyspacewizard · 8 years ago

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#12 “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”

[Prompt fill to continue this NonBinary Masc Hux pregnancy story - I Made Your Favourite. 3,829 words. Trigger for mpreg, alcohol, weight/food issues.]

It was all Mitaka’s fault.

Well, that probably wasn’t fair, but Hux was going to have to blame someone because accepting that he was being both irrational and a tad naive really wasn’t his style.

The problem had started a month ago, at that bloody conference. Hux had just given- in his not so humble opinion- the presentation of the day, if not the whole week. He’d secured £18 million in new business for the company and his proposals looked set to become the industry standard. He was riding high.

But he was also drenched in sweat. He, Phasma, and Mitaka had decided to take a well deserved coffee break, but it was too fucking hot outside to wear his suit jacket. So he’d just slung it over his shoulder like he had a million times before.

Except the posture pulled his shirt tight, and now there was more than his usual binder-smoothed lines on show. Kylo had bought him a new half length binder, and Hux had felt certain that he wasn’t showing yet, but…

Hux was staring wistfully into the confectionary cabinet while they stood in line at Costa when an overly familiar finger prodded at his middle.

“You might want to start laying off the donuts, boss. I know we said we’d fatten you up, but maybe go for a smoothie?” Mitaka said with a laugh, his finger still poking gently at what he thought was fat.

It had been like the floor dropping away. Hux had been fighting other people’s perceptions of his weight his entire life- always on the medically concerning side of skinny, always able to eat whatever he felt like but made to feel like it wasn’t enough. The flip side of the coin was no less unpleasant.

The doors had opened, changing the quality of the light, and he caught his reflection in the glass cabinet.

He looked like a man who’d let himself go. He hadn’t thought he was showing, and he wasn’t, not in the traditional baby bump sense yet but… there was a bulge there. Sitting just above his belt buckle. With his whip thin frame it looked like a beer belly.

Hux hadn’t really thought this through. He’d told the senior partner, Snoke, because he needed the time off for appointments but the old man didn’t give a fuck about anything other than his bottom line. He’d just griped about statutory leave until Hux had explained Kylo’s plan to be a stay-at-home dad.

For some reason Hux had assumed that would be it. A few appointments here and there, an extended leave of absence and then back at work. He’d entirely forgotten the whole blowing-up-to-the-size-of-a-house thing that came in the middle.

He was at the top of his game professionally and now his direct report thought he was letting himself go. Hux had no idea how to navigate this because he literally hadn’t considered it.

“Dopheld, what the fuck?!” Phasma hissed, breaking the silence Hux hadn’t even noticed was dragging out between them.

Mitaka was shaking slightly as if he’d finally realised exactly how inappropriate his actions had been. Or he was terrified by the fact that Hux was just staring blankly at him.

“Excuse me.” Hux said quickly. He hadn’t run away exactly, but he had left the coffee shop with his phone in his hand. It was easier to pretend to make a call than to face whatever the fuck that mess had been.

Fortunately there was a Starbucks just down the street, because of course there fucking was. Hux had taken himself there to calm down. And to get the food his body was clamouring for.

He felt like he was being judged by the barista when he ordered the decaf cookies & cream frap and cheesecake muffin, but his cravings were what they were.

He hated cream but apparently the baby loved it, so he would have to endure. Trust Kylo to get him pregnant with a child that had bad taste. It would probably insist on wearing all black clothes and have mastered eyeliner before it could speak.

The image of a rockstar baby was absurd enough to make him smile to himself, and he relaxed slightly. He had half an hour before he had to be back at the conference, so he settled in a window seat and pulled out his phone. Phasma had sent him a ‘U ok?’ but he ignored it. Let Dopheld stew for a while.

GingerSnap: I’m not letting the baby have a mohawk KylOMG: I hadn’t even considered it but now I’m gonna have to make it happen GingerSnap: No KylOMG: Can’t talk, researching infant safe hair dyes. How do you feel about green? GingerSnap: It’d look like a fucking leprechaun KylOMG: Exactly GingerSnap: Dopheld thinks I need to ‘lay off the donuts’ KylOMG: [...typing…] GingerSnap: If you’re composing an anal sex joke you can sleep in the shed tonight KylOMG: Aw. No fun. What about ‘cream filling’ jokes? GingerSnap: Fuck off, I’m serious, what do I do? KylOMG: Eat a whole roast chicken in front of him, establish dominance. GingerSnap: Jeyzus Kylo KylOMG: Did I make you laugh? GingerSnap: Yeah KylOMG: Then my work here is done. We both know you’re healthy, & so is the baby- that’s all that matters right now. Don’t stress yourself, your body isn’t Pheld’s business.

Kylo had been right, and it had made Hux feel better. But he’d still put his suit jacket back on when he went back to the conference. Dopheld hadn’t been able to make eye contact with him, but Hux would still rather sweat than worry about what anyone else thought.

That had been a month ago. Now summer was in full swing and Hux wasn’t getting any thinner. Or any cooler.

The office at least was air conditioned and thanks to the combination of his height with his narrow frame most store bought suits had more than enough space to hide his progress.

And he was hiding, he admitted that now. He’d gotten used to not having conversations about his gender, and dealing with midwife appointments was exhausting enough. They’d been asked where the surrogate was at their first few check-ups until the staff at the centre got used to them.

He knew he’d have to face it all eventually, or take his leave early and deal with the office gossipmongers, and it looked like today might be the day to decide.

There might be lovely cool air con at the office, but the 18th century venue for the annual summer retreat was definitely lacking in that regard.

As much as Hux wanted to wear a suit the dress code was ‘casual’ and someone would be taking notes to ensure compliance with the mandatory fun. So he was wearing the coolest casual wear he owned, and it did nothing to hide his figure. Skinny jeans and soft shirt featuring Kylo’s band logo. They usually looked good on Hux but now he felt like a snake that had swallowed a beach ball. He was only 18 weeks too, it was ridiculous. The moment he stepped outside everyone would know.

“Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”

Hux hadn’t even noticed Kylo was behind him until he spoke. He knew he’d been dithering just inside the lobby, watching his colleagues on the lawn with trepidation, but he must have been standing there for a long time for Kylo to have caught up to him. Kylo had only just got out of the shower when Hux left the room.

“I don’t think anyone’s going to believe that,” Hux said quietly, tugging restlessly at the hem of his t-shirt. He hated dressing casually in front of his coworkers at the best of times. It felt like taking his armour off. “It’s fucking 32 celsius in the shade, Kylo.”

“Then say you're worried about burning,” Kylo suggested instead. He let one thick fingertip run down Hux’ pale arm for emphasis. “Everyone will believe that.”

Hux chuckled nervously but took the offered jacket anyway. “I'm not ashamed you know.” He said after a moment.

“I know. You've spent every minute in our apartment in your pants. I get it- it's complicated.” Massive shoulders shifted in a shrug. “Whatever you want, it doesn’t bother me.”

Kylo’s clothes, like the man himself, were constructed on an entirely different scale. Hux felt instantly swamped in the mass of grey denim, but it smelled reassuringly of his husband, and half his anxiety melted away.

Beside him Kylo swallowed noisily.

“What?”

“I uh,” Kylo leaned in to whisper in his ear, “can I reserve a private viewing of you in just the jacket?”

A blush ran down Hux’ chest at the tone and took the last of his worries with it.

“You look fucking amazing,” the whisper continued, “but the thought of all that pale skin and ginger fuzz,” a huge hand settled on his abdomen, “and that belly- fucking majestic.”

Hux snorted. “Ridiculous.”

“We’ll see.”

As they crossed the lawn towards the set up for the evening’s entertainment, Hux noticed Thanisson running towards them with a worried expression.

“Excuse me, Mr Hux?” The intern said when he was still twenty feet away, “Sorry sir, but the performer for the evening has been delayed. Mr Snoke told me to borrow your husband instead.”

That at least was par for the course with Snoke. Not ‘ask to borrow’ or ‘ask your husband if he wouldn’t mind’ just ‘told’. Hux really wished Snoke would behave like a normal eighty year old man, and thus not have realised that his husband was lead singer of a triple platinum band.

There was a grand piano on the miniature stage and a gleam in Kylo’s eye.

“Fine,” Hux said, then thought better of it, “No swearing though.”

Kylo laughed and kissed his temple before following after Thanisson with long happy strides. A kiss was not an agreement. Hux really hoped Kylo wasn’t going to embarrass him.

At least the drinks on offer at the refreshment table were a choice of either Pimms, or virgin punch, so his alcohol free option wasn’t all that noticeable. Everyone’s glass was stuffed with the same fruit pieces and sad bits of wilted mint.

Hux looked around for somewhere to sit while he took a sip. He nearly bit his tongue in revulsion. Apparently the baby didn’t like mint. Fantastic.

Phasma was sitting cross legged on a picnic blanket just in front of the stage with a tablet in her hand and a pitcher of water by her knee.

Crossing the grass he surreptitiously dumped the drink on a table of similarly abandoned glassware. Maybe he was wrong to blame the baby and the punch was just disgusting.

“May I join you?”

She looked up and smiled vaguely. “Of course. No Kylo?”

He settled on the blanket with his legs crossed and Kylo’s jacket wrapped carefully around him. “Snoke stole him. Apparently the singer is delayed.”

“I’d bet you £20 Snoke didn’t book anyone,” She said, turning back to her tablet. “Why pay someone when you know the junior partner’s husband will take any excuse to get near a mic?”

“I really should defend my husband from that entirely accurate slander, but I fear a lie of that magnitude would make my jeans spontaneously combust.” Not that Hux would have mourned such an event. Now he was sitting on the ground they weren’t the most comfortable of clothes. He shifted slightly, trying to move the waistband into a position that didn’t aggravate the thin skin of his stomach.

He reached for the pitcher of water.

“I wouldn’t,” Phasma said without looking up. “That’s mostly vodka.” She reached into her bag and handed him an Evian instead.

He stared at her for a beat before he took it.

“It’s not of my business…” She began.

“Spot on.”

She took the hint.

“You can talk to me if you need to though.” She said then lapsed back into silence.

He wasn’t sure what had given him away, though as Kylo had pointed out he wasn’t all that subtle even before he’d found out he was pregnant himself. Phasma’s wife had had a baby last year, that’s why she was at this year’s retreat alone. Maybe she was just more used to seeing the signs.

Part of him really wished this was something other people didn’t keep finding out about before he could actually tell them. Though since he’d had no intention of telling anyone the wish seemed like a really stupid one.

The pitcher of vodka threatened to slosh when Mitaka clumsily joined them on the blanket.

Things had thawed between them since the conference incident, but he seemed to be constantly aware of everything that came out of his mouth. Hux felt a little bad about that, but not much. If it helped him keep his foot out of his mouth it was probably a benefit.

“Hi. Bloody hell it’s hot.” Dopheld gasped and looked around at the others spread out across the grass. He seemed to be counting.

“Rodinon and Datoo have taken their shirts off,” he eventually continued to Phasma like he was fishing for something.

“I don’t give a fuck what you wear Dopheld.” She said without looking up. “My parents are nudists, I promise you, even Snoke bollock naked wouldn’t be anything I haven’t seen before.”

Hux choked on his water. “Fucking hell.”

She gave a filthy laugh that made the people sitting nearby on the grass look up and shake their heads. Thank god Snoke was nowhere to be seen.

Sitting between them Dopheld seemed unable to undress all at once. Four buttons were unfastened. Then he paused for a gulp of ‘mostly vodka’. The shirt was untucked. Another drink. The rest of the buttons. More booze.

It took at least two minutes before Mitaka’s skin was exposed to the world.

Hux had been mildly envious of his tan for years until Dopheld had explained that half his family was from southern Spain. He still was a little jealous now- even if he could take his shirt off Hux would probably blind everyone in a half mile radius with his pasty skin.

He glanced enviously at Dopheld once he was settled and then frowned before he could stop himself.

Their eyes met for a second. “Problem?”

Hux shook his head. He never had been the best at spotting others. Without seeing the dark top surgery scars he never would have guessed.

“I’m just hoping you’ve got sunscreen on.”

Dopheld opened his mouth to reply but closed it when Phasma handed him a bottle of factor fifty.

“For fucks sake look after yourself,” she said with a sigh. “I only signed up to be two people’s mother.”

“I thought you only had one kid?” Mitaka asked obliviously while Hux said a quiet “Oh congrats.”

She nodded “End of November.”

The conversation was cut off by a smattering of applause that turned into something like a roll of thunder when the waiting audience realised that the unknown local performer had been replaced by Kylo Ren.

“Oh my god, I love the Knights of Ren!” Someone said in the crowd.

Another voice replied, “You know he’s married to Hux right?”

Hux couldn’t help his spine straightening at that.

Beside him Phasma threw her tablet onto the blanket and laughed. “You’re so fucking proud of him!”

“Of course I am!”

“You’re just pleased that everyone knows the skinny twink bagged himself a beefcake!”

Dopheld made a vaguely horrified sound as Hux swatted at her. “Piss off!”

The bench at the piano creaked alarmingly when Kylo sat down and drew everyone’s eyes back to the stage.

Hux had always thought he looked odd playing a keyboard. He was too large and the posture emphasised his shyly rolled shoulders and habit of folding in to make himself look smaller. At least the guitar made him sit up properly. Still, it didn’t make him any less gorgeous.

Kylo flashed him a small mischievous smile as the first notes rang out.

It was a song Hux had never even liked until Kylo had covered it during a technical outage at one of his gigs. Something had blown the speakers for everything but the main mic and Kylo had apparently thought it was ‘funny’ to start singing ‘Sound Of Silence’ acapella. Hux hadn’t found it funny. Hux had thought his spirit was literally going to leave his body.

Even now all these years later it still had the same effect. He could feel his body relaxing to an inhuman degree the instant Kylo opened his mouth.

“Hello darkness, my old friend, I’ve come to talk to you again...”

He could hear other people muttering ‘holy shit’ as the song built. Kylo hid a lot of his vocal talent under the guitars and it was unusual for everyone else to hear it like this. In some ways Hux felt privileged to hear it booming out of the shower every morning.

As he relaxed the weight of the jacket began to feel oppressive on his shoulders. All the tension and anxiety he’d felt for weeks seemed silly now.

Phasma already knew and she had enough clout in the company that people would take the lead from her reaction. Besides Snoke didn’t give a fuck and was still talking about making him a full partner in the next financial year.

“And no one dared disturb the sound of silence. Fools, I said, you do not know…”

Hux shivered and felt the butterflies that usually crawled up his spine at this point settle in his stomach instead. Or maybe that was the baby. He’d had the impression it was moving when Kylo sang before. He might just be imagining it but the sensation made up his mind.

He shrugged out of the jacket and folded it up neatly beside him.

Despite his brain telling him that there were giant flashing arrows pointing at his belly now, no one turned to look at him. Everyone was too busy gaping at Kylo belting out the end of the song.

Hux didn’t bother to join the standing ovation- Kylo already knew how he felt about his music and beside Hux was too busy rescuing the pitcher from Dopheld’s boots. His movement drew the eyes of his companions but before anyone could say anything Kylo was laughing into the mic and asking for the audience’s assistance with the next song.

There was more cheering as Kylo started Bohemian Rhapsody. He really didn’t have the right range for it, but there were few songs better guaranteed to get the audience singing along. Some groups didn’t bother to sit down again and the operatic section ended up turning into an enthusiastically sung argument between the accountants and half the design department.

By the end of the song Hux was laughing so hard he’d unconsciously put a hand on his belly for support. He was absolutely certain that the vague fluttering he could feel was the baby now even if he couldn’t sense it from the outside.

On stage Kylo started picking out the introduction to one of his ballads but mouthed a concerned ‘are you okay?’ in his direction.

Hux responded with a reassuring smile and pointed at his middle with his free hand, miming a wriggling movement with his fingers. Kylo grinned and turned back to the mic.

Slowly Hux became aware of eyes still on him. Both Phasma and Dopheld were staring at him. He watched in silence as their gaze ran over him again.

“Holy shit!” Phasma hissed, leaning right across Dopheld’s legs to get closer Hux. “Are you pregnant?!”

“Yes, Phasma, I am. I thought that’s why you warned me about the vodka?” The pitcher shifted again and Hux put a steadying hand on it. “‘Pheld, if you’re drinking this can you please start looking after it? Thanks.”

Phasma laughed in surprise. “Oh my god, no. I thought you’d quit drinking, you know because of the weight ga…” She stopped herself with a hand over her mouth when she saw the look on his face, “Jesus, I need to shut the fuck up. Sorry.”

Between them Mitaka looked like he was trying to complex equations in his head. “But…”

Hux nudged him. “You didn’t say anything to me, did you?”

“No, but…”

“Holy shit, I can’t believe this!” Phasma said again. Surging forward she climbed over Dopheld and enveloped Hux in an unexpected hug. “Congrats!”

“But…”

“I think you broke Dopheld.” Hux said with a laugh against her neck.

“Good, things’ll be quiet for a while.” She replied, then sat back. “Is this something you want to be out about? Like, do you want me to unsubtly drop it in the office gossip pool, or should I feign ignorance?”

Hux looked down at his bump. His hand was on it again. He hadn’t even noticed himself moving. Apparently without his suit he couldn’t keep his hands off it. Maybe that was how Kylo felt all the time. He snorted.

“I think I’m out about it. Though if you could very unsubtly remind people about the press policy that’d be great.”

Not that Kylo was really the sort of musician to get mentioned in the gossip magazines. Fortunately for them he was just the wrong side of metal to be interesting to most mainstream outlets. It was one less thing to worry about.

She nodded. “Don’t worry, people who don’t know any better don’t work here for long.”

They sat in companionable silence watching Kylo work through seven more songs before a man in an ill fitting tux appeared in the distance, running across the lawn at a sprint. He looked like a 70s lounge singer.

“Phasma, I do believe you owe me £20.” Hux said cheerfully while the crowd around them groaned in disappointment.

The man didn’t take over immediately, instead he lapsed into a heated argument with Thanisson, but Kylo left the stage anyway.

Hux grinned up at him from the blanket, enjoying the way Kylo’s hair fluttered around his shoulders with every long stride.

At first it looked like the people around them were going to approach Kylo, but then to distinctive noise of a fist connecting with a nose rang out behind him along with Thanisson’s indignant swearing, and everyone became much more interested in the immediate entertainment.

“Hey,” Kylo said quietly, collapsing onto the blanket next to Hux. The back of his hand grazed gently down Hux’ bump. “Is it still moving?”

Hux went to shake his head just as Kylo continued, “Oh great, I need a drink…” And grabbed the vodka.

“Kylo, no that’s…”

But it was already gone. Kylo made a gagging noise.

Hux sighed. “Jesus Christ, nevermind. Here, drink this water before you die.”

Beside them a lost sounding voice said, “But…”

Phasma patted Dopheld on the shoulder, “You’ll work it out eventually. Now come on, let’s go find Kylo more water.”

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