#I just really don't like the implication that vanilla sex is inherently less traumatizing or less potentially damaging

[midnight-roses-candy]

Gonna disagree with this take. The idea of "hard" kink is arbitrarily defined in relation to what is seen as normative and I resent the implication that vanilla sex is inherently safer or less traumatizing than "hard" kinks. I think a better argument would be that you should engage in sex/kink with people you trust and who respect you/your boundaries, regardless of whether it's "hard" kink or not.

The most traumatic sexual experience of my life was in a very vanilla context. Since then, I've been more careful about whom I trust (perhaps to a fault) and done a lot kinkier things with people who respected me and my limits, and none of those have been nearly as traumatic.

okay at the risk of sounding like a dick i feel like i need to say something:

i implore all of the virgins that are running like v e r y kink centric blogs to PLEASE when they do eventually have sex not start out with hard kink especially their first time. there are so many things you have to learn about a partner before diving into kink and i feel like if it goes wrong there's a lot of trauma that can be associated with sex after that :/

anyways i'm done being on my soapbox be safe y'all🫶