#I just realize that using ''B'' and ''J'' for Blue and Johnny ends up getting a lot of ''BJ'' on this chart

[sorryiliketoscreenshot]

Since it's Shippy Saturday I decide to do a relationship chart card of my two most played OTP, it's fun to think about their dynamic (it helps me write as well), and actually it's pretty nice to see where they relate and where not 🤔

Template by the sweet @arcandoria 

[arigathanksgozaimuch]

head to toe | lee taeyong.

genre: ten pounds of fluff. slightly suggestive?  character/s: taeyong x reader.  overview: you love each other from head to toe. literally. word count: 2971.

13. "Sorry I'm late." 28. "Drive safely." 99. "Be careful."

A IS FOR:

ankle

“C’mere.”

Taeyong’s voice pulls you out of your concentration. You look up from your laptop screen and scan the entire room until your eyes finally land on his figure. Calm and quiet, he’s sitting in front of his easel where a blank canvas is placed. Sunday nights mean the both of you catching up with the work you’ve put off over the weekend – you with your Film App paper, and him with his commissioned portrait.  

You stand up, dragging your chair with you to where he was. He hooks an arm around your ankles and lift them up to his lap. Being able to touch you and feel you near brings him a deep sense of comfort. And only then is he able to start his own work.

B IS FOR:

belly

You sit on the sofa and let out a loud sigh of relief. Nothing beats having a boyfriend who can cook – and cook deliciously, mind you. Taeyong wears a smug look on his face as he watches you. "Full?"

Still in the last few moments of food coma, you could only nod. And then, when his gaze is back on the TV, you pull your shirt up just enough to uncover your belly and take Taeyong's hand. He immediately glances at you as soon as his palm rests on the soft skin of your stomach.

"You feel this?" you ask. "It's our food baby."

He snorts. "Wow, what's its name?"

"Chicken-stir-fry Lee."

"I swear to God you're the weirdest thing ever," he says. But he squeezes your waist and pulls you into his side, anyway.

back

Irritated Doyoung is in the middle of his speech when a hand lands on the small of your back. "What did I miss?" Taeyong asks, stealing the glass of champagne from your hands and taking a sip himself.

"Not much." You see Doyoung catching sight of Taeyong, the supposedly man of the hour, amidst the crowd and grimacing. "Just your opening speech, is all."

The man beside you snickers. "He handled it well, anyhow."

"But I was anticipating seeing you talk about your work."

He looks at you from the corner of his eye and frowns. "I’m sorry I'm late."

You want to snap back at him but you don't have a chance to, because Doyoung is already marching over to where you and Taeyong were standing. He then thrusts the wireless microphone onto your boyfriend’s chest and drag him to the spotlight, much to your delight and Taeyong’s dismay.

C IS FOR:

chest

There is a certain kind of security to be felt when you’re caged in between Taeyong’s arms and your legs are all tangled up. You feel like everything can go wrong – you can fail your exam, get sick with the flu for days, lose all your hair, and even misplace your lucky pen – but still feel happy and content. Because nothing can make you unhappy. Not here. Not when you’re safely tucked under his chin and pressed oh so warmly against his chest.

E IS FOR:

eyebrow

“What happened to his eyebrows?” Taeyong’s sister asks you as you bond over cups of coffee. She chances upon her brother’s latest profile picture and tsks in disapproval at the sight of him with one of his eyebrows partly shaved.

You shrug. “I’m the one supposed to know him the best, but even I don’t know what goes through his head sometimes.”

“There, there,” she cooes. “He’s a lot to handle, isn’t he?”

“I’m just at that point where I’m glad his fingers and toes are still complete.”

You and his sister sigh in unison.

H IS FOR:

hand

Taeyong holds your hand tightly after he sits you down on the couch. His hands are hot and sweaty against yours.

"What's wrong?"

He sighs, avoiding your gaze. "I've been hiding something from you."

"What is it?" Immediately, you are on full alert. Whatever he's going to say, you already know it's not good. You begin to anticipate something bad, like he's killed someone and now he needs help hiding the body; something worse, like he's going to use you for his upcoming exhibit; the worst, like he's going to break up with you.

"I have chicks," he says, eyes quickly searching yours for a response. He doesn't know what he sees there. Disappointment? Betrayal? Fury?

"You mean... you've been cheating?"

"What?" Your boyfriend shifts in his seat more comfortably. "No! I meant chicks, as in baby chickens. I just didn't want to tell you because you said you didn't want pets, and they're not pets! I'm just keeping them for inspiration for my new exhibit." He picks at your fingernails as he spoke, fidgeting with your hands out of nervousness.

You exhale the breath you don't realize you've been holding. If you didn't love this guy, you probably would have punched him. He sometimes makes you nervous and panicky for no reason. "Okay. Okay, that's fine."

He clutches your hands to his chest as he too sighs in relief. "Okay, good."

"How did you bring them here without me noticing?"

"Oh, that was easy. I bought them as eggs and then incubated them under our bed. I kept a daily log of them in my phone and not in a notebook so you wouldn't be able to see. Everyday, when you leave, I check up on them and cuddle them one by one like a mother hen. And then, after weeks and weeks of just pure love and warmth, they started hatching. So now, I've eight baby chicks."

"Did you just say you incubated them under our bed?"

"Uh-huh."

"For weeks and weeks?"

"Yep."

"And now that they've hatched, where do you keep them, exactly?"

"Oh! The pet store where I bought them from said to put them somewhere with soil and proper ventilation, so I put them on your mini garden."

"Lee Taeyong!"

hair

"The hell is this?"

You grab a handful of your boyfriend's hair and frown. Taeyong being an artist has its fair share of crazies. But having been with him for years has made you immune to them, so seeing him now with electric blue hair isn't as surprising as his old "experiments". But seeing Yuta and Johnny with red and green hair respectively is nothing short of shocking.

"What, you like it?" Yuta asks, his bangs covering his eyes as he blowdries his hair.

"It's like a powerpuff convention I wasn't invited in."

"See, I told you she'd hate it." Johnny elbows Taeyong against the rib.

"Shut up, Buttercup."

J IS FOR:

jaw

“Yes, give it to me, baby!”

Your arms and legs are starting to hurt from the awkward positions you put yourself into, but the smile it brings to your boyfriend’s face makes it all worth it.

“Okay, I think that’s enough pictures, [Y/N],” Taeyong says as he walks towards you. He’s beginning to think that asking you to take his picture for his Facebook profile is a bad idea. You do have a slight tendency to go overboard. Because even as he’s fast approaching you, you still manage to capture him in a candid shot or two. He quickly removes the strap from your wrist and manages, with great difficulty, to retrieve the camera from your grip.

“Not yet, just a few more!” You let out a whine in protest, almost shoving the camera lens in his face to give him a lot of pictures to choose from. “Whoa, look at that jawline,” you exclaim to distract him, knowing full well that he takes so much pride in what he considers to be his best asset. “What a killer.”

Later on, he’s posting one as his new profile photo. Before he could even finish uploading it, Taeyong tosses you your own phone so you could be the first person to like it.

L IS FOR:

lips

You know you’re in for a wild night when your boyfriend wears his clip-on lip ring, with Taeyong knowing full well how the small piece of accessory makes you feel all sorts of things.

N IS FOR:

neck

"I don't see how–"

Taeyong shushes you before you could finish your sentence. "You won't be able to see it if you keep talking. Be quiet and just stare at it."

You do as you're told, but after a minute or so, you complain once again. "I still can't–"

"Any second now."

You purse your lips and swallow the complaints that bubble up your throat. Instead, you take a deep breath and really concentrate on the canvas that was in front of you. Besides the weird splash of colors that seemed unorganized and accidental, you focus on the black lines that curve fluidly across the plane. And just like that, it hits you.

"It's a bunny!" you exclaim, straightening your posture at the same time. Taeyong has insisted you look at the picture with your head tilted at exactly 45 degrees. Now your neck just hurts and you let out an involuntary yelp.

"Good job, baby," he praises, dropping a quick kiss on your forehead. He puts the canvas away and places a new one in front of you. "Now, this one you have to look at from the back like you're walking away and someone from behind you suddenly calls your name..."

"Taeyong!"

P IS FOR:

palm

You rest your chin over your palm as you watch Taeyong dote on Jisung, his latest intern.

“Why are you being so mean to him? It’s his first day,” you complain as soon as he leaves the intern to do his assigned task and goes to you. “On my first day here, I didn’t even do much.”

“Yeah, well, I was faking being strict on you because I liked you. But now, I have to be really strict,” he says in defense.

“Because you might end up liking the new interns too?”

He shakes his head and steals a peck from your lips. “Nope. I’m actually a very strict and uptight person. I’m just nice to you because I’m whipped.”

You laugh at his strange attempts at flirting. And you don’t understand if you find it funny because his advances come off as awkward or because no matter how strange it seems, his flirting still manages to make your heart flutter. “You drive me nuts, seriously.”

“I may drive you nuts, but at least I drive safely.” And then Taeyong winks with both of his eyes.

S IS FOR:

shoulder

Scrolling through Instagram on his phone, Taeyong drops his head on your lap. “Hey, you think my doodles are pretty, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“How come you never thought of having it tattooed on you?”

You frown. “Because it’s permanent?”

The word makes Taeyong sit up. “And we’re not?”

“Nope.”

Now it’s his turn to frown. He mulls over something for a while before speaking again. “Then let’s be permanent.”

“Like married?”

“Yeah,” he says, a small smile gracing his lips at the thought. “Like married.”

You shrug, feigning nonchalance, when inwardly you were screaming. “Fine.”

“Fine,” Taeyong repeats. “I want my fleur de lis drawing inked on your shoulder.” As he spoke, he grabs ahold of the collar of your shirt and drags it sideways to expose more skin. And then he marks the spot where he wants you tattooed by leaving open-mouthed kisses on your skin.

T IS FOR:

tooth

Besides his genuine macabre style of painting, Taeyong is also known for his rather strange exhibitions.

“Are those—”

“Yes,” he cuts you off, urging you to move on to the rest of the artworks on the first day of your internship. But you choose to stand still and stare at the teeth scattered behind the glass display.

“Are they real?”

“Yes. Have you read the description?”

Your eyes dart away from the teeth and briefly shift to the justified paragraph printed on clean white paper just at the bottom of the display, but you don’t bother reading.

“Are they yours?”

Taeyong sighs. “Of course not. You know where I got them?”

“Where?”

“I pulled them out from the mouth of interns who ask too many questions.”

You don’t speak a word for the rest of your mini tour.

toes

“You call yourself an artist with this kind of work?”

You groan, taking the brush from your boyfriend’s grip. Sitting up, you fold your right knee up to your chest to inspect your foot. And, just as you expected, Taeyong has smudged the nail polish all over your toes.

“Well, I’m sorry the wand is too small!”

“Ugh.” You snatch the bottle from the table and work on your nails yourself. “I’m painting your toes in the same way you did mine and then we’ll see how you like it.”

tongue

Doyoung makes his usual round of the exhibit just before closing time. As usual on a Friday night, there are still several students taking notes, connoisseurs basking in the different sights, and just random visitors taking pictures. Nothing is out of place, he thinks, but he could only sigh when he catches sight of you and Taeyong by the corner. If he had a dollar for every time he catches the two of you with your tongues down each other’s throats, he would have been able to purchase an original Van Gogh by now.

thigh

Love means compromise. So on days you really need a dose of your boyfriend’s cuddles, he lets you sit on his thigh and hugs you with his left arm while working on a sketch with his other.

W IS FOR:

waist

“You nervous?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise,” Taeyong reassures with a smile. His hands find purchase in your waist before his fingers find each other and interlock behind you, keeping them in place. “Now, take a deep breath for me.”

You do as you’re told and exhale after a few seconds. His words don’t completely quell the nervousness within you, but they manage to calm you down a little. You’re now beginning to regret agreeing to holding your first exhibition in your boyfriend’s own place. But you realize it’s too late to back out now, because Taeyong is already ushering you towards the crowd. You see your family and friends, who all congratulate you for a job well done. You catch sight of your professors, whom you avoid on purpose for fear of a long, intellectual discussion about art theory. You also get to meet fellow artists, most of whom were invited by Taeyong himself.

Somewhere along the way, you lose your boyfriend in the crowd, but you let him be, not wanting to disappoint your guests by sticking to Taeyong’s side the entire time. However, when the crowd thins and your social skills get drained, you look for him first. And it isn’t that hard to look for a red-haired boy in a sea of brunettes.

As soon as you appear in front of him, he says, “I’m proud of you,” as if he has been practicing all night to say it and now that he has the chance to blurt it out, he does. You squeeze his hand and smile. After all, despite the countless criticisms and comments you’ve heard all night, Taeyong’s approval is the only thing that mattered.

wrist

Being an intern for Taeyong – the Lee Taeyong – is taking up all your patience, to say the least. Sure, you have been offered an internship by other artists, but Taeyong's studio was the nearest to where you live. Traveling back and forth daily for an ordinary university student like you is taxing and costly, so you decided to choose him over others. You're starting to rethink that decision now.

"Be careful!" he shouts at you for the hundredth time today. "That's an authentic Rothko you're holding, not some poster from a souvenir shop.”

You roll your eyes. Usually, it’s Doyoung, his curator and closest friend, who gives you tasks and assigns you work to do, but he has flown out of the country since the weekend, leaving you under the wing of the devil himself. Taeyong’s first job assignment for you is to clean up his studio. You think of it lightly at first, but later on realize he hasn’t cleaned the place ever since he has turned it into his workplace. Media of various kinds cling to his floor and easel like glue (you found some kind of blood-like substance that you didn’t bother asking about), and it has taken you almost three whole days to scrub them off completely.

Now he’s making you move all the paintings from his exhibition area to the storage room for some reason he isn’t telling you. As carefully as you can, you attempt to lift the painting higher as per your boss’ instruction. But with the day’s worth of carrying and transferring finally catching up to you, you stumble back, the painting in your hands becoming dangerously close to being damaged. So Taeyong comes to your rescue, catching your wrist just in time.

But this isn’t like what you see in romance movies or John Green novels where boy catches girl and they stare into each other’s eyes until they fall in love. Because Taeyong takes No. 15 from your grip and brings it to storage himself. The painting is saved, but you never hear the last of it, because he scolds and nags your ears off and leaves you standing in the middle of his studio feeling like the worst intern ever. You cry about it to Doyoung over the phone, but he still says he ships the two of you together.

“Oh, please.” You scoff. “I will never fall in love with someone like him.”

But boy are you wrong.

Send me an idol and a number!

Masterlist

[kidcataldo]

Freeze Frame. Yep, that’s me. No, not Harry Potter. You see the boy in the very back, behind Harry Potter and the crowd of people hovering around him? The lanky second year reading Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them? Yeah, that’s me. I’m Jerry, Jerry Potter, Harry’s lesser known little brother.

I know you all must be shocked, for you’ve read all seven books and/or eight movies and there’s no mention of a brother. Well, I’ve been there, I assure you. I’ve merely been a background character all this time. But now, in this cruddy fanfiction, it’s my time to shine! As I turned the page of the book I was reading, engrossed in the wonderful story before me, Hermione Granger bumped into me. “Sorry, I—oh, Jerry, it’s you,” she said. “I didn’t see you there.” “Oh bother,” I say with a hint of melancholy. “Fantastic Beasts,” she said, gesturing to my book. “Wonderful read, don’t you think?” “Yes, but I’m not quite sure Johnny Depp is the best choice to play Grindelwald.” Just then a roar of cheers erupted as Harry Potter, my famous big brother, was hoisted into the arms of the Weasley twins, who were chanting “Potter! Potter!” Harry, the one who defeated the dark Lord Voldemort with his mere thumb (I may be exaggerating a little bit, but I do it for emphasis), smiled at the attention. “What are you doing in Gryffindor tower?” questioned Hermione, for I was a Hufflepuff. “I think it best that I stay away from the Hufflepuffs for the time being.” You see, I made my special peanut butter chocolate chip cookies last night before the big quidditch game, and it seems Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff’s seeker, is allergic to both peanut butter and chocolate. The poor man nearly died. He forgave me at once, of course, but, unfortunately, the Hufflepuff’s are still bruised about the whole situation, especially since I was their replacement seeker and vowed to win the match for Cedric, even going as far as betting his life on it. I’m not too worried about it, though; I’ll just go to the kitchen later and bake some more cookies for them. Hufflepuffs forgive easily; I know I do, anyway. “Right,” said Hermione. “Potter! Potter!” chanted the Weasley twins as they carried Harry, my dear brother, around the common room as if he were their king. Oh! King Harry. Having enough of King Harry’s antics, I quietly slip out, the fat lady shocked to even see me, knowing all too well that I do not belong there. She opened her mouth to speak (or rather scold me), but somebody else spoke up first: “Vlimey, Potter!” It was Vlane, my Slytherin best friend. He was also in his second year at Hogwarts. “There you are. I’be veen looking for you eberywhere!” Vlane has a tendency to say his V’s like B’s and his B’s like V’s. I’m used to it now, but it sure has gotten us into some sticky situations in the past. “Sorry, Vlane—“ “No... it’s Vlane,” he says, with an emphasis on the V. “Yeah, that’s what I said,” I say. “Vlane.” “No, my name is Vlane,” he says. “V as in Vogart... Why does ebery one call me that? You know what, forget it, call me Blane for all I care... “Professor Snape needs to see us,” he continued. “He says it is of the utmost importance that we come to his office immediately.” I sighed, knowing all too well what kind of scolding we were about to endure.

“WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?” roared Snape. “YOU TOLD ME THEY WOULD LOSE! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY I BET ON YOU?” He huffed, turning away from the boys. “Quidditch prodigy my ass,” he mumbled. “I can’t let Slytherin lose again to those... those-“ “Vuffons?” suggested Vlane. “-assholes,” said Snape. “Just give me more time,” I say. “I’ll get you your win. I promise. Tomorrow’s the talent show and Vlane and I are doing magic tricks.” “That won’t get you anything, Potter!” he said with a snarl. “In case you haven’t noticed this whole damn school does magic tricks!” “But not muggle magic tricks,” I say, a smirk forming on my face. “The audience will sure to gibe us the golden win,” said Vlane happily. “Yes... yes, that’s brilliant,” said Snape in a whisper. “Arthur Weasley is the top judge this year... This could actually work.” “Of course it’ll work,” I say confidently. “When have my plans never not worked?” Snape raised an eyebrow, letting a fowl frown grow on his face.

“Welcome, wizards and witches,” announced Professor McGonagall proudly, “to the Thirty-first Annual Hogwarts Talent Show Competition. Each house will compete for the Hogwarts house cup. “Gryffindor is in first place with two hundred and forty-five points.” The Gryffindor team erupted into cheers, banging hard on their table, making sure everyone could hear them loud and clear. “Followed by Slytherin, who have two hundred and fifteen points.” Slytherin House all hollered, jumping out of their seats excitingly. “Ravenclaw is at one hundred and thirty, while Hufflepuff is in last with one hundred and one points. “It’s still anyone’s game,” she promised, though the smile on her face told me she was confident Gryffindor was gonna win. “We shall begin with a word from our sponsor.” McGonagall stepping aside, a big buff man emerged from the crowd. “Do YOU want to be BUFF like ME?” he questioned, flexing his big muscled tricep. “Well now ANYONE can,” he said, holding up a bottle of pink liquid, “with Rawling’s Magical Muscle Mixture. “Now, you all might be thinking, ‘Rawling, the Magical Muscle Mixture man, how did you create such a delicious mixture that also makes you beautiful?’ With magic, of course,” he said, smiling. All the girls in the crowd, including one Hermione Granger, squealed as he flexed more of his muscles. “Call now and I’ll include my blue mixture, which helps with hair growth. Or just stop at my store, Rawling’s Magical Muscle Mixture. Tell them Rawling sent you,” he said with a wink. Everyone applauded as he left the stage and Dumbledore appeared. “Thank you Rawling, the Magical Muscle man,” he said happily. “Our first contestant is unfortunately unable to perform, due to a peanut butter and chocolate incident.” I felt my face heat up as the Hufflepuffs all glared at me. “But Mr. Diggory, nonetheless, wishes his Hufflepuff family the very best of luck in this talent competition. “Moving on to our second competitors, Hermione Granger will now perform a rendition of God Save the Queen with Ginny Weasley on the piano. Ladies,” he said and both Hermione and Ginny went on the stage. The performance, though very dull, nevertheless seemed to astonish Mr. Weasley, who was in tears by the end. Every contestant must have been told that mundane muggle stuff excites him because it seemed that everyone was doing muggle things. The Patil twins tapped dance. Cho Chang recited a Law and Order episode by heart. The only one not to do anything muggle related was Draco Malfoy, who conjured up three snakes with his wand and forced them to eat each other. The competition is tough this year, I’m beginning to realize, but I know me and Vlane are tougher. “And finally Mr. Jerry Potter and Mr. VobleVooboo will be doing magic tricks,” he said, reading his notecard. “Correction, they will be doing mugglemagic tricks.” The crowd gasped as me and Vlane made our way up to the stage. I couldn’t help but smile; we had this thing in the palm of our hands. Vlane was dressed in his muggle magician suite, top hat and everything, while I wore my lovely assistant’s dress. “Ladies and gentlemen,” started Vlane, removing his hat. “Watch carefully, for I will not ve repeating myself... “Jerry, my lobely assistant,” he said, handing me his hat, “is there anything out of the ordinary about this hat?” I look inside and shrug. “Looks like a normal hat to me,” I say. “Oh, vut it’s not,” he said. Three taps on his fake muggle wand and Vlane reaches into the hat and pulls out a rabbit. The audience oohs and ahhs, followed by applause, captivated by the trick. Dropping the hat and placing the rabbit in my care, Vlane then picks up two large rings. “As you can see here, these rings are not meant to connect... or are they?” Forcefully, he clashed the two rings together and they connected. The crowd went wild. Mr. Weasley nearly fainted. “We gotta finish strong,” I whisper to Vlane as I help him wheel in a giant box. In the distance I see Professor Snape, looking quite impressed, if I do say so myself. I was going to win this one. For Snape and for Hufflepuff. “Remember, before you reopen the box, you have to say the magic words: Abada Kedabra. Got it?” “Right,” he nods confidently before turning back to the audience. “For my last trick, ladies and gentlemen, I will need help from someone in the audience. Any takers?” Almost everyone’s hands shot up. The only one who didn’t seem interested was Malfoy and a few of his friends. “What avout you, sir?” he said, pointing with his fake muggle wand at Professor Flitwick down in the front. Squealing excitingly, Flitwick wabbled his way up on stage. “Now, this may seem like an ordinary plain old muggle box,” Vlane said, opening it, “vut I assure you it is so much more! “Professor,” said Vlane dramatically, “if you would.” Flitwick entered the box and I closed the box securely and spun it around three times, just how we practiced (of course now there was a living person inside the box instead of Vlane’s stuffed serpent). “Now, on the count of three I will make our professor... disappear,” he said. Tapping his muggle wand onto the box, Vlane began counting. “One. Two... Three. Avada Kedavra!” Vlane’s muggle wand spirt out a flash of green. There was a crashing noise and Professor Flitwick came falling out. He lay on the floor, still. Upon closer inspection, I realized what hadn’t happened. Professor Flitwick was dead.

[lifejustgotawkward]

My Favorite Albums of 2017

10. TLC, TLC

Standout Tracks: “Way Back” (feat. Snoop Dogg), “Perfect Girls,” “Start a Fire,” “American Gold,” “Scandalous,” “Joy Ride”

From the moment TLC’s self-titled, fifth and final album kicks off with the vibrant opener “No Introduction,” a contradictory yet inspiring reminder of this R&B girl group’s indomitable spirit, I knew that I was in a for a good time. I’m so glad that Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins and Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas returned to the studio for a follow-up to 3D, which came out shortly after Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes’ death in 2002. T-Boz and Chilli bring elements of R&B, pop and funk to TLC, infusing many tracks with a 90s-throwback vibe that never feels dated. Lead single “Way Back" is the album’s best example of that particular style, but I love the atmospheres created by acoustic guitar on the empowerment anthem “Perfect Girls” and on the sultry ballad “Start a Fire,” as well as the social commentary of “American Gold,” the braggadocio of “Scandalous” and the retro groove of album closer “Joy Ride.” I can’t tell you how encouraging it is to know that T-Boz and Chilli are still crazy, sexy and cool enough to put together an album this enjoyable from start to finish.

9. Feist, Pleasure

Standout Tracks: “Pleasure,” “Any Party,” “A Man Is Not His Song,” “Century” (feat. Jarvis Cocker), “Baby Be Simple,” “I’m Not Running Away“

Feist’s Pleasure is a slow-burner. Like the title track, the album as a whole takes a while to warm up, but after a while I found that the melodies had stuck with me and didn’t leave. Without question the best song on the album is “Century,” an uptempo masterwork of songwriting, performance and production; many of the album’s highlights have relaxed paces, though, and it’s hard to argue against the loveliness of “A Man Is Not His Song” (which has my favorite lines from Pleasure: “A man is not his song/And I’m not a story/But I wanna sing along/If he's singing it for me”), “Baby Be Simple” (which, dare I say it, begins to feel magical at the 4:39 mark) and “I’m Not Running Away.”

8. Marika Hackman, I’m Not Your Man

Standout Tracks: “Boyfriend,” “Gina’s World,” “My Lover Cindy,” “Apple Tree,” “So Long,” “Eastbound Train”

The rock influences of the 1990s are all over English singer-songwriter’s Marika Hackman’s second full-length album. This is a good thing, like how opening track/lead single “Boyfriend” recalls Radiohead’s “My Iron Lung” and how “Gina’s World” contains echoes of Nirvana. And for my money, “My Lover Cindy” is probably the #1 song of the year; with a dark sense of humor and sunny guitar licks, it’s an ideal pop-rock jewel that will lodge in your brain and never leave.

I love that Hackman’s songs wittily observe the highs and lows of queer identity while maintaining a universality that every music fan can appreciate. With I’m Not Your Man, Hackman has shot to the top of my list of the most talented women in indie rock right now, alongside Angel Olsen and Courtney Barnett.

7. Lindsey Buckingham and Christine McVie, Lindsey Buckingham/Christine McVie (aka Buckingham/McVie)

Standout Tracks: "In My World,” “Red Sun,” “Lay Down for Free,” “Game of Pretend,” “On with the Show,” “Carnival Begin”

It may be uncool or corny to admit it, but I love the recent album by Lindsey Buckingham and Christine McVie. Few critics feel the same way, but what can I say? I’m a sucker for a well-crafted tune. Buckingham/McVie, as they are often credited, have been in this business for half a century, so it’s safe to say that they know a thing or two about how to make memorable music. Whether you’re a fan of the duo from back in their peak Fleetwood Mac days or you’re a younger listener who just wants to savor some great earworms, you can’t go wrong with the infectious melodies of “In My World” and “On with the Show” and the slower, more sensual motion of “Carnival Begin.”

6. Texas, Jump on Board

Standout Tracks: “It Was Up to You,” “Tell That Girl,” “Sending a Message,” “Great Romances,” “Won’t Let You Down,” “Round the World”

Like the Buckingham/McVie album, Jump on Board by Scottish band Texas was labeled mediocre by most music critics. But I knew that Texas’s tenth studio album (their debut, Southside, came out in 1989) would be fun before I even heard it; I’ve been a fan for years, ever since I heard a charming BBC Radio interview with lead singer Sharleen Spiteri - isn’t that a fantastic name for a rock band frontwoman? - and the radio show’s host played the wonderful Texas song “Detroit City.” I became an immediate devotee of the group and have adored their work ever since. Jump on Board’s “Tell That Girl” has a similarly 80s-ish aura, but the sound branches out on “Won’t Let You Down,” which evokes classic Pretenders ballads; “Great Romances” (my personal favorite), which borrows its beat from the Angels’ “My Boyfriend’s Back”; the shimmering rhythms of “It Was Up to You” (like updated disco, reminiscent of Roxy Music and solo Bryan Ferry); and the smoldering rockabilly voodoo of “Sending a Message.”

P.S. Last year, Sharleen Spiteri wrote a really nice piece for The Guardian about Harry Dean Stanton, whose film Paris, Texas sparked her band’s name. If you haven’t read it, please do.

5. Father John Misty, Pure Comedy

Standout Tracks: “Pure Comedy,” “Total Entertainment Forever,” “Ballad of the Dying Man,” “When the God of Love Returns There’ll Be Hell to Pay,” “The Memo,” “So I’m Growing Old on Magic Mountain“

Full disclosure: I don’t know much about Father John Misty, outside of some essays and reviews I’ve read over the years. I’m not familiar with his catalog prior to Pure Comedy, although I keep telling myself that I’ll listen to Fear Fun and I Love You, Honeybear, in addition to his releases under the “J. Tillman” name, at some point. As a newbie who approached his Pure Comedy album from what I hope is a fairly fresh perspective, I must say I’m impressed. I know that his music is polarizing and engenders a lot of “masterpiece”/”overrated hack” arguments, but I like when that happens with artists; it makes me think that they’re doing something right to inspire such extreme views.

The lyrics on this album are superior to just about everything else that has been released this year and I could easily put a spotlight on nearly every song, although “Total Entertainment Forever” - the first track I heard prior to the album’s release - is the one that will probably stay with me the longest, capturing our freaky zeitgeist with insight, morbid humor and a little snazzy saxophone. There’s no way to top the sheer audacity of its opening lines: “Bedding Taylor Swift/Every night inside the Oculus Rift/After mister and the missus finish dinner and the dishes/And now the future's definition is so much higher than it was last year/It's like the images have all become real/And someone's living my life for me out in the mirror...” Truly a songwriter for these bizarre, unbelievable times.

4. Lana Del Rey, Lust for Life

Standout Tracks: “Lust for Life” (feat. The Weeknd), “Cherry,” “When the World Was at War We Kept Dancing,” “Tomorrow Never Came” (feat. Sean Ono Lennon), “Change,” “Get Free”

Lust for Life is the first Lana Del Rey album that I have loved from beginning to end. I wasn’t enamored of the opening track, “Love,” when I first heard it last year, but hearing it in the context of the entire album has given me a renewed admiration for the lushly produced songscapes that Del Rey creates. You really fall into a different world when you listen to her music.

“Lust for Life” is yet another 2017 song to reference “My Boyfriend’s Back” (as well as having “do-do-do-dos” similar to Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side”), while the lyrics of “Cherry” allude to the classic duet “Summer Wine” by two of Del Rey’s heroes, Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood. “Beautiful People Beautiful Problems” and “Tomorrow Never Came” are collaborations with Stevie Nicks and Sean Ono Lennon, respectively, while the uplifting album closer “Get Free” cites Neil Young (”out of the black... into the blue”) and the chord progression of Radiohead’s “Creep” (Lana’s not alone; Angel Olsen kind of did that too on her single “Fly on Your Wall,” although the bigger similarity is with Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over”). But my absolute favorite track on Lust for Life is “Change,” a haunting statement about realizing the abilities we all have to learn, grow and improve our world that pays homage to Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” along the way.

3. Blondie, Pollinator

Standout Tracks: “Doom or Destiny” (feat. Joan Jett), “Long Time,” “Fun,” “My Monster,” “Too Much,” “Fragments”

If there is any truth we can rely on in this weird world of ours, it’s that Blondie can always deliver top-quality records. Pollinator, the renowned band’s eleventh album since 1976 (they were on hiatus during 1982-1997), has the same glorious New Wave/pop-punk dynamism that Debbie Harry and company have gifted us with for these past forty years. They worked with some excellent collaborators this time around, featuring Joan Jett on the chorus of “Doom or Destiny” (which has a terrific, politically charged music video), as well as the lyrical contributions of Blood Orange (aka Dev Hynes) on “Long Time” and Johnny Marr on “My Monster,” plus a cover of “Fragments” by An Unkindness (Adam Johnston). Chris Stein is still a legend on the guitar and Clem Burke - in my most humble of opinions - continues to be one of the best rock drummers on the planet, worthy of going toe to toe with anyone half (or even a third) his age. Extra special mention goes to the Greg Cohen Spirit of 79 remix of “Fun,” which is even better than the version on the album.

2. Harry Styles, Harry Styles

Standout Tracks: “Meet Me in the Hallway,” “Sign of the Times,” “Carolina,” “Only Angel,” “Ever Since New York,” “Woman”

I was never a serious follower of the ultra-successful boy band One Direction, but you can put me down as a fan of “What Makes You Beautiful,” “One Thing” and “Temporary Fix.” Those are three genuinely delightful songs. So I looked forward to what Harry Styles had to offer as an individual performer, interested in what, uh, styles (sorry) he would display on his first solo effort. Luckily, his self-titled debut turned out to be an entertaining achievement, filled with the exuberance and sincerity of a man eager to forge his own path in the music industry. I knew as soon as the album’s first song, “Meet Me in the Hallway,” began that this was not going to be a typical millennial endeavor, and I remained impressed throughout the next nine tracks. I applaud young Mr. Styles’ high levels of ambition.

Worldwide hit “Sign of the Times” has timeless appeal, while “Only Angel” and “Kiwi” burst with brazen vigor, “Woman” is a soulful jam and the love songs “Two Ghosts,” “Sweet Creature” and the Badfinger-inspired “Ever Since New York” are more quietly impactful. Styles shows further maturity on the album closer, “From the Dining Table,” perhaps not lyrically but certainly from an artistic POV. If I have to pick one favorite cut from the album above all, though, I might have to go with “Carolina,” Styles’ most exuberant ode to his muses from the 70s. (I especially love the la-la-las in the background vocals.) Does Harry Styles want to be David Bowie, Mick Jagger, Marc Bolan and Pete Ham, all at the same time? Yeah, probably. But it works for me.

1. Slowdive, Slowdive

Standout Tracks: “Star Roving,” “Don’t Know Why,” “Sugar for the Pill,” “Everyone Knows,” “No Longer Making Time,” “Falling Ashes”

In the early 90s, Slowdive was a pioneering band in the shoegaze subgenre of indie rock, lending the dreamy vocals and guitar sounds of Rachel Goswell and Neil Halstead to the albums Just for a Day (1991) and Souvlaki (1993), in addition to the more experimental textures of Pygmalion (1995). (Some favorites of mine from this era include "Spanish Air," "Brighter" and "When the Sun Hits.") The group - which I gather was pretty underrated in their early years, never popular with mainstream listeners and disliked by music critics - disbanded shortly after the critical and commercial failures of that third album, but Slowdive’s triumphant reunion in 2014 led to their latest, self-titled release. And it’s incredible.

Slowdive is only eight tracks long, but each one shines in a unique way. “Slomo” is a perfect opener, slowly unfolding with a classic Slowdive ambience. The feeling endures as the album progresses, especially beautifully in “Don’t Know Why,” which melts my ears into heavenly bliss and is definitely one of my top five favorite songs of the year, and in the final track, “Falling Ashes,” an eight-minute epic propelled by an insistent piano hook. You could listen to any of Slowdive’s recordings, though, and be dazed by the constant splendor. More than any other album in 2017, Slowdive fused past, present and future to shape a collection that glows with both alt-rock imagination and delicate, poignant finesse.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (alphabetical)

Charlotte Gainsbourg, Rest (”Lying with You,” “Kate,” “Deadly Valentine,” “I’m a Lie,” “Les Oxalis”)

Valerie June, The Order of Time (”Shakedown,” “If And,” “Man Done Wrong,” “Just in Time,” “Slip Slide on By”)

Angel Olsen, Phases [B-sides, rarities, covers and new recordings] (”Fly on Your Wall,” “Special,” “Sweet Dreams,” “For You,” “How Many Disasters”)

Phoenix, Ti Amo (”J-Boy,” ”Ti Amo,” “Goodbye Soleil,” “Fleur de Lys,” “Role Model”)

Ride, Weather Diaries (”Lannoy Point,” “Charm Assault,” “All I Want,” “Home Is a Feeling,” “Cali”)

Alexandra Savior, Belladonna of Sadness (”Audeline,” “Cupid,” “’Til You’re Mine,” “Vanishing Point,” “Mystery Girl”)

[miraclesmara]

Paranatural Miraculous Ladybug AU: Spirit Miraculous Version

This is it, that Pnat Miraculous AU that I've been working on a lot. This is the one where the characters have miraculouses based on their spirits. List of headcanons under the cut:

Character specific stuff

Max

Max's miraculous is a bracelet or bangle. When untransformed, it just looks like a silver bracelet; when transformed, it's black and the front part looks like Scrapdragon's eyes. At the 5 minute timer, each circle (from both the red and blue) disappear at each beep.

He first found the box containing the bracelet in the storage closet while looking for a way out. (alternative: he found the box in his bag or vest while he was locked in the storage closet)

Just like in canon, Scrapdragon can't talk so Max had to get his miraculous related info from others and figure out some other things on his own. Also when he transformed for the first time it was because of one of two reasons:

a.) He somehow managed to accidentally say his transformation phrase while reacting to this wierd floating thing that suddenly appeared.

b.) The box containing the bracelet also had a note with the transformation phrase written in it and Max read it out loud.

His bat looks like how it would look if Scrapdragon is almost recovered. He still has his magnet powers as his main ability. His special ability is just a really powered up version of his magnet ability (does anyone have better ideas for his special ability?).

Max did not ask for any of this, he did not ask to be a magical boy, he did not ask to fight evil in a ridiculous looking tight costume, and he did not ask to be caught in a love triangle (that's even more complicated than just a triangle if you add secret identities and other stuff to the mix) between two hotheads. On the bright side, at least he can now do awesome parkour stunts he was never able to do in civilian form.

I have no idea on what to do with the thing that briefly took over Max in ch3 but one thing's for sure, Max had been wearing its miraculous the whole time and nobody (not even Max himself) had noticed it yet.

Isabel and Ed

Isabel's miraculous is a comb and Ed's is an anklet.

They both got their miraculouses at the same time. (Grandpa Guerra may have been the one who snuck them into their rooms)

Back when they were the only active miraculous users in Mayview and they still didn't know each other's identities, they had a relationship similar to Ladynoir, love square included (which frustrated Eightfold, Muse and Grandpa Guerra to no end). Also, which love square do you think makes the most sense for them:

a.) They both see each other as siblings but they secretly crush on each other's alter-egos.

b.) Ed secretly crushes on Isabel who just sees him as a brother but secretly crushes on Ed's alter-ego who just sees Isabel's alter-ego as a partner and friend (you know how the rest goes)

c.) Inverse of b.

Isabel's book looks exactly the same as it does in canon while Ed's paintbrush is the tail-belt of his costume

Isabel still has her paper powers as her main ability. I don't know what her special ability is yet but I want it to be related to words or knowledge (because Eightfold is the devourer of words and her spirit world is a library and so I wanted to incorporate that somewhere)

Ed still has his paint powers as his main ability. His special ability allows him to draw something that comes to life (the five minute timer doesn't start until after he's done drawing it)

It's gonna be really sad when Isabel loses her comb and Eightfold with it.

Isaac

Isaac's miraculous is a choker or necklace

He's really having the time of his life as a magical boy (until the miraculous au version of that incident happened)

He envies the partnership between Ed and Isabel (he knows that they know each other's identities) and wishes he had something like that (preferably with Max)

He mainly has small scale weather effects (same as canon) as his abilities. His special ability is to affect the weather on a large scale (It can only be cleared by miraculous cure or by him changing back and he has no control over what weather comes out.)

Mr. Spender

Mr. Spender's miraculouses are a brooch (Lucifer) and a ring (shadow spirit). Those who know his identity think that he only has the former.

The brooch, when untransformed, looks like a plain white circular brooch that's not easy to notice unless you know to look for it, when transformed, the brooch looks like Lucifer's eye and it has Lucifer's wings. At the five minute timer, each of the "pupils"(what are they called actually?) disappear at the first three beeps and each of the wings get dimmed at the last two beeps. I have no idea what the shadow spirit miraculous would look like since we still haven't fully seen what the shadow spirit looks like (I'm not even sure on whether to have it be a ring).

He is still as unhelpful as ever, like that time he told Max that he should feed his kwami but didn't tell him that his transformation has a time limit after using his special ability (luckily, one of the other members told him about it after asking why his bracelet is beeping)

He only transforms to help the kids when he's really needed

Johnny

Johnny's miraculous is a necklace that looks like Forge's locket with or without the keyhole when untransformed (and it opens to show a picture of Max's family when they were much younger, so Johnny doesn't recognize Max in the picture when he sees it)

Immediately after his first use of his miraculous, Johnny told his friends his identity right away (much to Forge's protest). He has their full support. They help him out with stuff like covering for him or buying food for Forge.

I have two options with how Johnny's abilities work:

a.) The fire powers is the main ability and the metal-working is the special ability

b.) inverse of a.

Secret Identity Stuff

I have two options for how to handle secret identities in this au:

1.) The activity club know each other's identities

The activity club still exists as a school club

Suzy still has her goal of finding out what the activity club does but it's second to her goal of finding out the identities of the heroes, yet she never figures that the two are connected despite the activity club gaining a new member at around the same time a new hero appears (Miraculous magic or Mayview wierdness? Who knows?)

Max often comments at his teammates being really unsubtle at the whole secret identity thing. He wonders why they hadn't been caught yet.

2.) The activity club don't know each other's identities

Spender knows the kids' identities and they know his

Ed and Isabel already knew each other's identities by the time Max joins

Max hasn't noticed that two of his classmates (later three) and an eighth grader regularly come to the corner store to buy a lot of a specific type of food for some reason

Lots angst for Isaac as he has nobody (except for Spender and King C who aren't helping very much) to turn to in regards to secret identity related stuff. Max may have the same problem but he's still too new to realize it yet. (I know Max has PJ and Lefty while Isaac has Doorman but I have no idea what to do with them in this au)

Akuma and spirit stuff

If spirits are still around in this au, then they'll be visible to everyone

If akuma villains are still a thing in this au:

Isabel (until she loses Eightfold), Spender, and possibly Day can purify akumas and use miraculous cure (though, they can still do the latter even without akuma villains)

Akumatized Suzy has a similar goal to Lady Wifi (wanting to unmask the heroes)

Akumatized Jeff can be based on Hijeff

Despite their emotional instability, Spender and Isaac hadn't been akumatized since getting their miraculouses (either they are protected by their miraculouses or they're both surprisingly good at not getting akumatized)

I don't know what the source of the akumas would be in this au or if they'll still be butterflies or if they'll still be called akumas

Other stuff

I got almost nothing for costume descriptions (I can imagine them but can't describe them) for when the characters are transformed. At least I have some descriptions for appearance changes: Ed has black tips on his hair, Isaac has his medium traits (like the spiky hair) only while transformed, one of Max's eyes are red and the other is blue, Spender (w/ Lucifer) glows really bright (nowadays, he's gotten better at controlling how bright he glows), and Zarei's (w/ Patchworm) eyes look like Patchworm's eye.

I got almost nothing for names. The only names I managed to come up with are Chrysalis for Zarei with Patchworm and Lumen Aves or Lucidus Aves (either way, the kids mostly call him Mr. Aves) for Spender with Lucifer.

I'll most likely have a hair clamp as Day's miraculous. I can't think of what kind of accessories both of Zarei's miraculouses are.

If Dimitri in canon does turn out to be a spectral and has a spirit partner, then I will most likely have his miraculous be earrings (unless his spirit's design inspires a different accessory)

The equivalent to being a medium in this au is wearing a miraculous that can't be removed for the duration of the "possession". (Do Spender, Isaac and Johnny need any reason to want to take off their miraculouses?)

Suzy runs this au's equivalent of the Ladyblog (would it be called the Spiderblog or the Paperblog or some other name?)

Mom Puckett may have had a similar role to Mama Agreste

Master Fu's role is kinda split between:

Mr. Spender - the kids' mentor (even though he's not doing a very good job at it)

Dr. Zarei - the one who heals kwamis (not sure about this one yet)

Grandpa Guerra - the guardian of the miraculouses and the one who tests potential wielders (instead of him doing the testing, he sends one of his students to do it while he watches from afar)

That's all I got for now. I know I left a lot of blanks in this (like names, transformation phrases, costume descriptions/designs, what the kwamis eat, etc.) so I'll just leave those to whoever wants to write or draw something based on or inspired by this au.

[shakesonaplane]

Life, Love, and Music…on the Road Through Southern France

Bonjour (again)! With my most recent road trip through Le Midi (aka Southern France) with my friend / colleague (frolleague?) Rohan, I’ve decided to try something a bit different to recap. This was one of the more unique trips I’ve taken as of late, with very little planning, but somehow with just as much wonder and discovery. As a result, I felt that it warranted something a little more unique than the regular trip recap: an actual, written story. So without much further ado, I hope you enjoy the musings, theories, thoughts, and prose of our time in Le Midi.

The view got much, much better as we trudged along

“Airport lounges are like my new home,” says anyone who travels as much as we do. When at an airport in Europe I usually find a Priority Pass lounge, but with Rohan’s crazy Qantas status, the BA First Lounge is our first stop. I usually forget to act like I belong when I go to these, since Johnny Walker Blue Label is just free to pour at your own desire and there’s better food here than in most restaurants in London. Let’s just say, since we had an 8pm flight, we might’ve gotten to Heathrow earlier than planned just to partake in some libations. Along with coffee, pie, scones, dinner, I found myself making friends at a lounge by randomly making up drinks as they come to pour their standard G&Ts and Whiskeys. I haven’t decided of a name for the drink I came up with at The Lounge, but boy did I ever feel like James Bond when I explained it to someone and even said “add a twist of lemon at the end”.

The only real explanation for what’s going on here is that I have so very little shame in life

It almost felt like boarding the flight was a drag, though it was the whole reason we were at Heathrow. The actual travel to France was basically non-consequential, though. I think we talked about work or something, I can’t much recall, since I was still in a whiskey haze. Arriving to Tolouse airport at 11pm afforded us a fairly late start to our first real task of the weekend: a 2hr drive through the night to Béziers, where we’d secured a cheap hotel to crash in before the “real trip” started. To say that Rohan is a life saver for travel in Europe is an understatement: the man more easily drives stick than most Americans (regardless of the side of the road) and can magically stay awake with the right mix rocking in our rental car aka Ford family van. We really should’ve upgraded…

Pay no attention to the playlist names, most of them were entirely to stay awake / seduce each other

Around 2:30am, we made it, weary and (me somewhat hungover), to our tiny B&B Béziers. One restless night of sleep later, we embarked. I say restless, bc the dreams that plagued me would consume my mind for the first part of the day, and even be a great topic of conversation between Rohan and I. Given our histories and our cultural backgrounds, this dream I had about the future of my family and love life caused me some anxiety when I awoke, and inevitably stirred up a conversation. Love’s a funny thing to talk about in this situation, but when considering the state of the “new life” you both have in a country far from home, you can’t help but wonder what life has in store. I won’t get into details, but will leave with this overarching theory I came to: love is about sharing your happiness. No one owns it, but people affect it, whether they be family or friends or your partner. Love, in the end, is an attempt to find joy with someone, but never to give it up to someone else. We trudged along that Saturday morning to Agde for some breakfast, both caffeine and food-starved from the night before. In my classic traveling ways, I figured I’d look something up and eat there based on reviews. Little did I realize that this kind of trip didn’t need Yelp or Google or anything, just a knack for “finding the next thing…”

The quintessential French-shake look, brought to you buy a mix of Uniqlo, H&M, Adidas and baguettes

Control is a funny thing, because we aim to have it so much. In finding meals, we always want to “choose” a place. But how often do we ever just stop at a spot that looks good and eat there? I found this to be something I struggled with because I wanted to have the best meals and the best experiences in places I go (a relic of past traveling and relationships). Rohan is a different traveler looking for what experience fits the need at the moment and not fussing much, finding little gems that no online service could ever know about. In a trip like this, his way wins almost all the time, so we spotted a small bakery made our breakfast of whatever we fancied before venturing east to Montpellier. When we arrived, I can’t say I was impressed. Montpellier felt run down, old, and absolutely covered in graffiti. The beauty of it seemed limited to me…but as we walked through the rundown town to a place I had “yelped” (I’m told by Rohan I remind him of Aziz Ansari in Master of None when I say stuff like this), we came upon what can only be described as the most quintessential French scene ever. There was a square. There were people eating galettes. There was wine. There was smoking. There were people looking out of their Juliet balconies into the square. And there was an accordion player serenading everyone in a classically French way. I can’t make this up, and had to snap a quick “opening credits shot” for posterity.

Coming soon to an Indie film near you

As we finished our delicious Tapas meal, we decided to keep going from here, really doing our best to cover some ground since we had a ways to go. This wasn’t the most beautiful part of the drive…in fact, it was kind of boring, so it afforded an opportunity to converse more. The first thing Rohan said to me that I remember is “dude, get off your phone, be present” (in an Aussie twang which I can’t replicate). I think I have a good handle on not being phone-y (hehe) regularly in London, but wow, put me in a travel scenario and suddenly I’m more curious as to what’s going on elsewhere than I am in front of me. Granted, we weren’t exactly inundated with grandeur, but had I not put my phone down I would’ve missed such amazing sites as the walled off city of Aigues-Mortes and the rare/vintage car museum as we sped by them. Instead, upon glimpsing something astounding and in classic Louis Hamilton fashion, Rohan pulled some maneuvers and we ended up with some great Tinder profile shots for him

Beep beep, who got the keys the jeep, vrooooooooooom

I realized we were losing sun, so I pressed us to make our move to Marseilles next and we effectively avoided the scenic route we had taken earlier. French roads in the region are very well paved, but they are 2-lane experiences that take a lot of patience to drive. Heading to the toll roads seemed smarter, to give us some unadulterated 120km jaunts, but far less to see from the window. So a lot of musical options for the car came about at this point, and Rohan and I realized while we share a lot of the same tastes, there are many differences. A question-Spotify answer game arose as a result, to see just how similar (or dissimilar) we would be with some really pointed questions. This is a good road trip game to play with someone, as it keeps everyone jamming and teaches you about the memories and effects music has for someone.

“Give me your best Usher song” (My Way) “Girl group song from the 90s” (Creep - TLC) “Setting the mood at home on a date” (Thinking Bout You - Frank Ocean) “Favorite Kendrick song” (How Much a Dollar Cost…Rohan is a newly converted Kendrick fan) “Song you used to enjoy, but you can’t listen to anymore” (Folding Clothes - J. Cole…bc being in love hurts) “Bhangra head banger” (All of Ankur’s Bhangra Playlist) “Old school Puffy/Ma$e/Biggie song” (Been Around the World…bc I’m the macaroni with the cheese)

Marseille aka French Hollywood, kind of? Actually not really, but the sign is nice

We arrived into Marseille before dusk and saw biggest city of our trip thus far. Marseille, to my eyes at the time, was flat out gorgeous; it’s views, waters, streets, all of it. I was blown away, Rohan was cruising through the streets jamming away and commenting on how cool this placed looked; we both then realized we wished we had more time to spend here. Prior to arriving, I chose a random spot to map to and I couldn’t have been more lucky in choosing the Notre Dame de la Garde. Driving closer and closer, we realized we were just getting higher and higher, and soon we figured this would be one hell of an experience. After some amazing parking luck (“carma”), we trudged and ran up the steep walk and stairs (scaring some tourists on the way) and caught the most insane view of Marseilles and the surrounding areas. Fun fact, in the Count of Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantes gets sent to the Chateau D’If. Turns out, that’s literally a short swim from the city, so his entire imprisonment was in a place just out of reach of his home, family, and betrayers. (How’s that for a little literary nerding out?)

Pictures rarely do this kind of view justice…trust me when I say you should just go there

In my experiences with Ayahuasca in Peru (a story for another time), I had a thought that leads to me fully appreciate these experiences. As far as my life goes, having my breath taken away by the grandeur of the world is one of the reasons to be alive. These situations, when you finally rock up to the splendor, are some of the few times your mind goes blank and all you can do is experience the same amazement you had as a child, before the heaviness of our everyday started weighing on us. That child-like wonder…I’ve been very fortunate to make the most of these scenes, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. As the sun was setting in Marseilles, and as we walked away from some lovely new Morrocan friends we’d made at the top of the church, both Rohan and I wished we decided to stick around Marseilles for the evening. In the folly of our attempt to plan the weekend, we ended up with a beautiful hotel reservation in Saint-Tropez. While this is a beautiful place to see, this time of year is not exactly high season, so the town was quite quiet. We made the most of our time there, though, with a swim, a lovely dinner, and Rohan learning how to lose his student discount on the new Pink shirt he bought at Heathrow.

The amount that I know about French wine has increased by exactly 1 bottle If it seems like there was a lot that happened in day 1, you’re right, and our bodies felt it. But that was the intention. Our second day was meant to be quick and we aimed to do what we could quite quickly. A jaunt to Cannes to see the Film Festival site, a beautiful drive through Nice that afforded us very little sight-seeing because parking was a pain, and then the final stop of the trip and the 2nd highlight: Monaco. Both Rohan and I deemed it important to see The Monte Carlo casino bc we are both huge James Bond fans, and also because it gave us the opportunity to dress up and walk through the casino as debonair-looking as possible. You might not have noticed it since I didn’t call it out, but the views and weather of Southern France had taken a considerable turn for the better, and Monaco was the finale to a pretty amazing 2nd half. Also, if you haven’t seen Casino Royale, please do.

It’s still kind of amazing to me that I actually took this picture, because I swear I’ve seen it somewhere else

Walking through the casino is like walking into the past a little bit, and I have to say Vegas doesn’t even compare to this place. The class you feel while walking through is quite another thing. I loved that it wasn’t a casino in the creepy sense: there was a massive clock, windows, and very friendly staff that chatted with us the whole time. While I will miss that €100 I lost at the blackjack table, the value was more than made up with the mid-afternoon Vesper that Rohan and I enjoyed (followed by the not-so-subtle photo shoot we had outside right after). 

Aunties, please send all relevant biodatas to me for anyone you think would make a good bride 

With the end of our trip in sight, we headed back to our car, exhausted from the immense amount of travel we covered in such a short amount of time. From our start in Tolouse on Friday night, we drove around 800km (more than 550mi) and saw 10 different cities. Nice airport could not have been a more difficult situation to navigate after all that travel, and the fact that the Gatwick Express wasn’t running did nothing to ease our homeward travel woes. But, the silver lining to this all was a lovely French woman who sat next to us on the plane and, in our incredibly multi-cultural banter, offered us some CaramBars as we dove into the various hilarious French puns that none of us actually got. I think I’m more enamored by French accents than I was when I first moved here, and I think this whole trip had something to do with it.

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If you wonder just where we went, how we drove and what we did, I created a map of our travels here. It was quite the show, and each stop has a brief story of why we went there and what we saw. And, if you fancy more photos, take a look at the album here. Au Revoir! Abhishek