#I just need to vomit words a bit

[strawberryjamdonut]

I couldn't stop thinking about how Aziraphale tells Crowley, “I forgive you,” in the S2 finale. So I went back and replayed the scene a more few times and here's what I think:

Aziraphale would've never gone with Crowley because of his sense of duty and desire for the greater good. He cares too much, in a genuine way, about the Earth and humanity. The state of Heaven and it's morals don't align with Aziraphale's, and instead of pulling away like Crowley, he sticks. He wants to change it.

Aziraphale says, “you're the bad guys,” but he still wants Crowley to go with him to Heaven. To be in charge with him. I've seen some say that Aziraphale wanted to change Crowley, make him 'better/good' [Heaven's idea of good], but I disagree. I think he believes Crowley to be a kind individual who shouldn't have become a demon in the first place.

Aziraphale saw Crowley as an angel, he witnessed his happiness, he wants to bring him that once again. That's partly why he doesn't understand Crowley's utter disgust and refusal to 'side' with Heaven. Crowley has always been able to see Heaven's cruelty for what it really is. Aziraphale sees becoming Supreme Archangel as an opportunity for [his ideal of] Crowley's and humanity's happiness/wellbeing.

When Crowley kisses him, it's at the worst possible time, the worst possible moment. They can't skip off together happily into the sunset; Aziraphale can't walk away knowing he could've improved Heaven's methods.

He forgives Crowley for using the kiss as a last resort, a last chance, a promise: this is what we could have. Aziraphale is put into this horrifying position where he has to give up who he's always wanted for what he's always wanted— what's best for everyone overall. The kiss is cruel, in that way. That's why he says, “I forgive you,” | think.

Their ability to bond while having such different priorities and perspectives is something I love so much. Their flaws complement each other in the most painful way possible.

Anyway! I wish I never watched this show because I am in immeasurable pain.

[ittybittyluci]

Not me eagerly awaiting Epic the Musical’s Underworld Saga release because I feel like it’s going to make for some KILLER HH crossover in the form of horrific Lucifer angst. Like, I’ve already got some ideas flowing. Whether anything comes of them who knows? Whether I remember them? WHO KNOWS. But as of right now? MMM so excited.

Like, just picture this w/ me for a second (I’m gonna put my brain-rot fantasies after the cut for all of y’all who could not give less of a shit):

Imagine the song “The Underworld.”

“This land confuses your mind / When does a man become a monster? / 558 men who died under your command”

It starts with Lucifer closing his eyes, then opening them in like a pitch black environment.

“Captain, Captain, Captain, Captain!”

The first three have of him running into like— more angelic spears which corral him into a corner. The last one he like looks up at just sees ALL the angels glaring at him.

“Why would you let the Cyclops live when ruthlessness is mercy!”

Here I imagine it starts w/ flashbacks of him giving Eve the apple. Then, there’s is like a giant black snake forms from/behind/around the angel and in some way like kinda just.. “consumes” Lucifer, like it jumps up in the air, comes back down on him. He flinched, and when he opens his eyes again he’s alone, on the ground in Hell, covered in blood, and has his demonic traits showing. Idk, just something super symbolically horrific that would def be something u see in a nightmare.

“All I hear are screams… / Every time I dare to close my eyes / I no longer dream / Only nightmares of those who’ve died. / (Nothing’s what it seems) Nothing’s what it seems / but in the underworld the past seems close behind”

Here Lucifer is just looking around at all the carnage and graphic depictions Hell has to offer. I also imagine at some point he sees his own demonic form and like— physically jumps back in fear/repulsion. Just like real graphic, horrific, nightmare fuel. The frames go by somewhat quickly, just a jumbled mess of gore and violence and terror.

“I keep thinking of the infant from that night / I keep thinking of the infant from that night.”

The like gorey images get faster, but also mixed in are actual images of him falling, angellic spears, him giving Eve the apple, Lilith, basically everything that you could imagine is part of his trauma. Like, they just flash by the screen faster and faster on repeat until u can’t even rlly tell what they are anymore. Then, after the second repeat of the verse, the music stops abruptly and he sits up straight in bed, looks around, realizes it was a dream, then it’s just a wide shot of him alone in his room, looking haunted and tired but not panicked anymore.

Idk if I would want him to be staying at the Hotel, or in his castle in his big like King sized bed w/ half the bed not slept in, but either way yummy angst.

——

Haha, oops, went on a little ramble there. Oh well. Hopefully someone will care and agree that this would be bombed. Or not. Who rlly gives a shit? Not me, I just needed to write this down XD.

I also have another idea for the song No Longer You but I’m not gonna go on a whole spiel, and instead just say it starts at “But that’s not a world I know” w/ Luci looking in the mirror at his demon form. Then form “I see a song of past romance” onward is Lucifer reflecting back on Lilith, the apple, his Fall, etc. Then finally on “But it’s no longer you” flash back to present day Lucifer who kinda just sighs and (maybe) sheaths his demonic attributes sadly/ashamed oh b4 walking away.

—

MMM don’t u love when you just have all the ideas but you forgot your stylus at home so you can’t even TRY to attempt to start a project ur never gonna finish?

[crystallizsch]

hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

[prowerprojects]

Idk why people act as if Tails being an inventor genius is some kind of new post sa2 development, he invented a Chaps Emerald detector back in Sonic 3 & built a rocket in Sonic the Fighters.

Actually I would say it's the opposite, lately he's been nerfed in the inventions department, like what was the last thing we've seen him show off? Tornado-3 & the Miles Electric back in Unleashed? There was a translator in Colors, can we count it separately?There was something in Lost World I think?

Tails being a supergenius is not the issue, the issue is that he needs to be more whimsical & cute. Back in the day his immaturity & childishness was played in contrast to his genius, that was the hook of the character. But now he's just also more... idk if "mature" is the right word, he's still plenty immature in my opinion, just in a different way.

I don't think making him act like a 5 year old again is the answer, plus it would just seem weird at this point.

I think he's just underused & mostly used as an exposition fairy & lacking in cute character moments that showcase his personality a bit more. He needs some time to breathe & some personal focus. The fact that he barely ever interacts with characters other than Sonic doesn't help either.

(Another problem is that he's always been kind of like more... task-oriented ig, keeping Sonic on track & reminding him what they're doing when he gets distracted. Which might contribute to him seeming older, but it's a consistent character trait that's been there since forever)

[sirlancenotalot]

jealous cas trope just doesn't do it for me because i personally feel like he doesn't think he deserves to feel jealous over dean <3

[dubioushonour]

Playing cult of the lamb and it didn't really dawn on me until this playthrough how actually concerning it is that Chemach says she made her crown herself.

The Mystery Shadow Hand of Lore^tm talks about specifically, how the Old Gods were the ones doling out crowns by the hundreds back in the day before The Five went on their crusade to be the only gods in the land. Haro still has her crown, rendered eyeless (also, unrelated, looks very similar to the crown associated with Mystery Lore Hand but I am probably not the first person to notice). I have to imagine all of the other crowns were probably hidden away or destroyed. Chemach's brothers don't have crowns so it's unlikely she would have been granted one in the past, either. That's not what their jobs are.

So what is Chemach's crown made of? It doesn't look anything like the other crowns we've seen. Is it made of fragments of other dead crowns? Is it pieces of Old Gods, as is her schtick? Is it made of the same stuff as our crown? Is it paper mache? Is it meat? It has three eyes, but for what purpose? Is it related to the mystic seller? Our crown talks to us and tells us to collect sin points á la the devil from the bible. Is that what drove Chemach crazy? Too many conflicting voices in the crown she made, telling her to do too many things? Was her job always to hand out pieces of dead gods or did that become her job when she made the crown? Who is wearing who in this situation, honestly?

[blupengu]

Y’all I’m in the middle of Le Salut and I am losing my goddamn mind so have a quick shitty meme

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

gotdam being in bed really does make my brain work better

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

..

[petitmortes]

a plotted starter for @sunfyred

for   the   longest   time,    sansa   had   thought   this   day   would   never   come.    her   position   in   the   north   had   changed   the   day   her   father   was   imprisoned,    her   freedom   no   longer   a   matter   that   rested   in   his   hands,    but   rather   in   the   hands   of   her   cousin,    cregan.    bennard   stark's   plotting   had   not   ceased   at   just   holding   onto   the   lordship   of   house   stark,    but   rather   had   extended   far   greater   than   his   nephew   could   have   ever   imagined        –       a   matter   that   had   been   kept   quiet   and   secret   still.    long   had   he   sought   power   and   glory,    long   were   the   lengths   he   was   willing   to   go   to   achieve   it,    even   if   it   had   meant   sending   his   only   daughter   from   winterfell's   halls.    she'd   been   raised   as   was   befitting   a   highborn   lady,    prim       –       proper,       exceptionally   well   -   behaved   when   her   brothers   were   not   teasing   her   or   drawing   her   ire,    made   into   the   perfect   offering   of   a   wife   to   viserys   targaryen's   firstborn   son. 

it'd   taken   an   extended   effort   to   free   her   from   winterfell,    a   jointed   effort   between   sansa's   own   lady   mother   and   the   hightowers,    a   planned   trip   to   visit   her   mother's   family   in   karhold,    wherein   sansa   and   lady   margaret   had   boarded   a   ship   and   sailed   from   the   shivering   sea   to   blackwater   bay.    it'd   not   been   an   easy   journey,    so   many   days   on   board   a   ship   that   she   swore   her   stomach   had   turned   as   often   as   the   tides,    but   she   had   survived   it.    had   survived   the   uncertain   eyes   at   the   port        –       and   had   been   far   more   thankful   than   she   had   ever   been   when   her   feet   had   touched   sturdy,    dry   land. 

but   if   she   were   meant   to   feel   less   nerves,    her   stomach   had   not   received   the   memo;    freshly   bathed   and   fed,    dressed   in   a   soft   grey   gown   of   lace   and   velvet,    sansa   had   been   directed   into   the   throne   room,    directed   forward   to   stand   underneath   the   watchful   gaze   of   far   too   many   eyes.    she   hadn't   known   much   of   her   husband   -   to   -   be;    rumors   from   the   south   did   not   oft   travel   well   north,    and   save   for   what   her   father   had   allowed   her   to   know   of   aegon        –        that   he   was   a   handsome,    targaryen   king,    named   after   the   conqueror   himself        –        she'd   come   into   the   room   as   uncertain   and   unsure   as   one   could   have   possibly   been. 

good   manners   dictate   that   she   sink   into   a   bow,    a   graceful   curtsy   with   steel   grey   hues   downturned   to   the   floor;    she   counts   seconds   in   her   head,       soft,    delicate   numbers,    until   she   finally   exhales   a   breath   and   stands   tall   once   more,    allowing   her   eyes   to   flicker   up   from   the   floor   to   land   on   the   man   who   sits   the   throne   before   her.    her   heart   skips   a   subtle   beat,    a   gentle   flush   of   pink   settling   across   the   apples   of   her   porcelain   cheeks           –        the   letters   hadn't   been   wrong   about   aegon   being   handsome.    his   eyes   a   shade   of   purple   that   sansa   longed   to   get   lost   in,    the   expression   on   his   features   one   she   cannot   precisely   read,    but   one   she   finds   herself   all   the   more   intrigued   by. 

a   smile   curls   onto   her   lips,    warm   and   sweet,    as   her   hands   smooth   out   the   skirt   of   her   gown.        “   it   is   a   pleasure   to   meet   you,    your   grace.       although   i   fear   my   father's   words   may   have       .   .   .       downplayed   certain   aspects   of   the   capital.   ” 

[noroi-amaraciune]

Wow threats of violence and death woe is me. Bitch it's been like this for years if you hate me kill me already and if you don't plan to just shut that shit spitting asshole mouth of yours.

I have nothing to lose if he actually carried on with it, he'd do me a favour. It's funny to me he thinks he scares me and its even funnier he gets more angry when I laugh.

Bro I got used to your abusive shit, it's another day of you being an aggressive coward to me after I ignored you for months even if you wanted a reaction. I don't give a shit lmao

[cherriesandcharms]

..

[dustofthedailylife]

Random thought but upon further reflection... I think I've finally figured out why I actually couldn't stand Kaveh at first (past tense! I love him now if you haven't noticed yet).

When it comes to his character I see myself in him a lot as well. To the point, where I'd say I kin him.

I think he is a bit too relatable for me so that's why I didn't like him.

I'm often down on myself, never feeling good enough or deserving of love or things, holding myself to an insanely high standard that's sheer impossible to meet, and then getting upset if I can't meet it. All of this goes to the point where I neglect myself and my health.

And on top of all of that, I constantly want to help people even if it means I'm inconvenienced. And if something goes awry I blame myself very often for that as well...

[gothic-mothic]

First, I like your font too, especially the colours. 💗

Second, are you into other fandoms?

First, Ty :3

Secondly, so. Many.

Fnaf and tf2 are the first things that come to mind, especially fnaf:Security breach since the new dlc come out recently (by the time I’ve posted this I have probably already drawn art of Eclipse, I love my boys). I tend to fixate on characters and I’ve always loved the tf2 comic so Medic has been on my mind with Engineer also making his way in there. Oh !! And Deltarune :3 love deltarune, especially Spamton. I love seeing AUs about it too, people are so creative. I really love HLVR:Ai too, just recently I got the Frenrey Pink-to-Blue fan Zine! In that series I heavily fixated on Benrey, my sona is actually heavily inspired after my own design of him!

Other offhanded fandoms I’m in are Call of Duty, Spooky Month, the ARG and Analog horror community, homestuck, Steven universe, and probably a bunch of stuff that I’m missing. I love a lot of things !

Ever since I got into tsp (over a year ago) Ive mostly been paying attention to that and not much else so I haven’t given my other fandoms much attention. However I still do love them dearly

But anyway ! TLDR: Tspud has taken over my life, I can’t focus on much else, it’s a problem but we’re still living laughing and loving

Despite that, I like video games (like fnaf, tf2, and portal) and webseries (like HLVR:AI, Spooky Month, and ARG/ analog horror stuff)

And I love to ramble

[microwavepopcorn]

[crows-home]

about to have one of the most taxing days tomorrow. nevertheless. we persist gamers 💪