#I just kept seeing that video of him singing where he has short hair idk what that was and every time I went okay (?) babygirl……. 😯

[silentflashoflightning]

ngl I was scared for rockstat’s music and preparing mentally to do ‘yay 🙂’ when I hear it but it’s actually fun,….. we breathe ☺️🙂‍↕️

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Cyprus brings shampoo to Rotterdam 2021

I FELL IN LOVE, I FELL IN LOVE, I GAVE MY HEART TO PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

Though I do see where they come from. Everyone from Panik Records, from her to Eleni Foureira featuring Perfectil on the “Fuego” MV, gonna need that sweet sweet money all of the time. But has Greece’s economy not really recovered for them to constantly need to advertise products on music videos or am I just losing my mind overthinking things?

Eitherway, this review may or may not appear before or during their rehearsal day, so see how do I make a fool of myself by trying to estimate Cyprus’s chances!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

This year we have a 26 year old Elena Tsagrinou from Greece here (the way they were last represented by a somewhat Cypriot on 2017?). She did music early on in her age, also participated in the Greek version of Got Talent. Though, before breaking out as a solo pop sensation in ways you cannot imagine, she used to be in a pop band OtherView. Strangely enough, I’ve heard of them because of this song below but I could’ve NEVER estimated it was her and never could have I predicted she would land herself a Eurovision entrance all alone:

The band has had quite a few successful enough singles with her, she did some music shows participation and hosting, her band switched labels midway through (guess into which one they eventually landed, hint: some of the screenshots in this review have this peculiar logo), and in 2018, she had to “withdraw” from the group to go ahead and pursue the aforementioned solo career, somewhat. She continued doing a lot of shows (particularly seen on the MAD music channel related events), and doesn’t have as many singles as she had with OtherView right now, but she’s possibly well on her way to blossom as an artiste. Some of those reading (lol who am I kidding who even reads these) may be familiar with this little song of hers:

You’ve heard way too many things about “El Diablo”, her 2021 entry, so idk if I feel like explaining the technical side of things all by myself or you already know everything. But in these reviews I repeat everyone else regardless, so let me just say that “El Diablo” is an obvious pop song, with a lot of Swedish related touches to it, because at least one person on this song also worked on Alvaro Estrella’s Melodifestivalen 2021 entry that glorifies at least a handful of the same cliches that “El Diablo” does lyrically. Dear Eurovision lyricists, you can use more foreign languages than Spanish for your obligatory foreign language incorporations, thanks~

Although I’m not sure about whether it is more Laurell Barker’s fault as much as it is Joker Thörnfeldt’s, but it’s easier to blame them equally, because the former probably came up with “ta-taco, tamale” and the latter couldn’t get enough of the word “mamacita” they used for the aforementioned Melodifestivalen entry. Anyway, the lyrics, from what I get, is that she’s in love with an eeeevil guy because he’s sweet talking her, they do some sexy stuff together (presumably), pour sauce on their bodies for no explicit reason other than “obligatory-foreign-reference-itis”, she’s breaking the rules (and idk if it was “mama-mamacita” telling her to do it), got the icy edges that the spicy is melting for her, throws eyelashes on the floor when she’s got no wigs to throw (but that doesn’t matter because even without a wig, she can flip her hair and make him look twice), and there’s as much as you need to know about the song’s lyrics as I feel like I should show to you, because eh. Eurovision has suffered from worse cookie-cutter lyricism through the years, “El Diablo” is painful but not the worst.

REVIEW

But I do like the song somewhat!

“El Diablo” was initially compared to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” upon release, and I totally kind of see why, because in all the right spots you can absolutely hum over the chorus to that over the one of “El Diablo”’s, it just exchanges gratuitous French translation of one of the already sung lines on the bridge for obligatory inserted Spanish terms just for the sake of being trendy with the crowds of the nowadays, because as we learned nothing these days, having a lot of Spanish in your song is apparently trendy. And Elena does nothing absolutely batshit insane on the music video (other than advertising) - no lapdance for the devil Lil Nas X style, no being forced into a bath, no person to sell her body to (not even the titular diablo), no dancers that rise out of their Christian sleep pods. Just Elena singing behind lots and lots of trash bin bag wrap.

Honestly the bigger issue for me than the song being “sAtAnIc because it is called “the DEVIL!!!”, aside from the lyrics, is that the MV does not come with any forewarning whatsoever for the people that are seizure prone when they see strobe lights? And that happens for some extended periods of this clip? I know you are indulged in your advertising and good for you but don’t just care for the companies that pay you if you use their products, do care about people’s wellbeings too, sometime.

But enough about the MV.

The song is decently sounding. It has interesting uses of what sounds like hi-hats during the verses (e.g.: a moment when this happens for the first time on the song is after Elena sings “tonight we’re gonna burn in a par-tY” the second time, and then there’s something that sounds soaring - that’s what I think that the hi-hats did.). It also has some sort of a synth piano on the second verse to boost the song’s sound rather than just relying on 808s and beats. I quite like how the chorus is so instant somehow, idk why but it is for me. Might have a gripe with that childish choir singing “I LOVE EL DIAB-LO” in the tune of standard kindergarten children teasing tune (aka ”NA NA NA BOO BOO”), as well as the constant breathing sounds, but they don’t distract me from generally “fucking” with this song, lol. It’s just that likeable imo.

I just can’t cope with the fact that Cyprus can’t seem to dare to go at least a little bit original with their song, yanno? Ever since 2019 they were called out as being a ripoff of something... hell, everyone since 2016 except Eleni was a ripoff of something. Alter Ego? “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers. Gravity? “Human” by Rag’n’Bone Man. Replay? “Fuego” itself. Running? “Lose Control”, Meduza x Becky Hill. Now we have a Lady Gaga song wannabe that even caught the attention of another singer that the music video looked like it was ripping off, and the Eurofandom caught up in hysterics:

Heads up, folks: not EVERY short haired blonde with messy hair, silvery tank top and shortpants that writhes on the floor is a Zara Larsson clone. And I don’t know who stirred controversy first - her or the fans - but this was ridiculous to see, even for me.

Although for a second I saw where they were coming from.

Now see why I want Cyprus to go original for at least once? Because I guess that the way “Fuego” was conjured up, it brought Cyprus so much success with how the package was, how Eleni sold it, and how the song sounded. You know the first thing of everything potentially going wrong for you later on is if you find the formula you’ve been looking for, but you proceed to be using the exact same formula that got you this far in the first place, without realizing what was it in the formula that you needed to bank on to further to make it click, but instead proceed to copy everything like it was an easy, fill-in-the-blank form. You can and should do better than that.

Though that doesn’t stop me from ranking it 11th this year.

Thing is, I really expected it to be the one female pop song of the year I would have the constant impulsive need to replay, replay, yeah. Ever since the chaotic entry MV drop that occured on some random-ass Cypriot TV show where three guys talked a lot (and before that, we got a cooking show), and kept growing increasingly agitated that no one is liking their show, until at some point one of them erupted in “IN TWU MEENETS... EL DIABLO... ON UR TEEVEE”; I was really devastated I couldn’t be able to break the replay button because of Panik Records deciding to rather benefit for themselves to have the MV on their app, then on Youtube, THEN on Spotify in that order. So I listened to a few video rips that I received / had for myself, and it was a fun time... until I realized the desire to play it declined much faster than I thought it would when it actually dropped on Spotify, oops. So I can’t really let myself rank it higher, when there are at least some catchier female bangers with better overall sound, better lyrics, and better multiple-replay factor. But I can’t really settle for a much lower rank for her than 11th, anyway. Girlbanger 2021 power y’all!

That and vocally she’s actually not that bad, even if she has shown up singing her song drunk in a handful of Instastories for some event of some party house, and at the time people overreacted, but I think that at least a large audience of those same people has collectively dropped their “Cyprus obvious NQ” talks come the pre-parties.

Panik Records, when will you put the yeehaw El Diablo on streaming? Now THAT’S a version that has replay value, and I might never get bored of it instead :(

Approval factor: Yeah, there exists some for me in it Follow-up factor: CyBC did one of the nastiest in terms of following up their 2020 arc of “Bring Your Artist Back for Revenge Year” that was 2021, straight up ditching Sandro probably right after Eurovision was done (well it doesn’t look like the case because CyBC published a statement later, but I sense that it might’ve been the case), because “Running” wasn’t doing so well with the “YAS QUEEN” branch of the Eurofandom. Which sucks because Sandro would’ve actually been down to be asked again for Eurovision, as he revealed it to NikkieTutorials during many of her interviews with last year’s class of. “Agreement from both parties” my ass, unless Sandro secretly realized that like Tom Leeb, he was too busy for 2021 Eurovision, which I doubt. It actually sucks imo that Sandro can probably be considered as even a forever non-returnee, because Sandro is more of German roots than Greek, and if we learned anything about the Mukuchyangate 2021, is that Germany will never send a returning artist, at least one that didn’t represent their country first and foremost. So Greece could only ask Sandro nicely only if the contest comes on to Germany, I guess? How do you think they decided on getting Stefania, who still ever so regularly appears on Dutch music, to represent them this year? So on that regard the follow-up from CyBC stinks, eventhough I think that entrywise the follow-up was rather decent, at least in the usual Cypriot way of sending female pop (going from “Replay” to “El Diablo” which I like more than “replay”), and eventhough I’m falling out of the hype for Cyprus I once used to have, their 2015-2021 entry streak had entries that I largely feel positive for overall, so in that regard, the follow up is decent. Qualification factor: In a year of Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, Elena goes out in my eyes with several scratches, but not enough to completely kill her chances. If anything, given the divisiveness of Ireland’s rehearsals, Elena is likely to obliterate any last memory of Lesley Roy any first time viewer has ever had, except for her stage graphics. Even if Elena’s staging will not be as mindblowingly cartooney as the last, once a bop comes on, everyone forgets the slower song and gives into the bop, at least that’s how the draws work when choosing what insignificant song to put on 2nd and wedge in between the opening banger and some lesser-key banger, right? I know that “Replay” barely qualified, but I find “El Diablo” slightly better, and it all goes well, it will barely just as qualify as well. Because in a Semi 1 Female Banger Slaughterhouse, she can’t be the losing one, really.

INTERNAL CORNER

I already told everything that was noteworthy about Elena’s journey in previous sections, honestly.

• That I said that CyBC likely ditched Sandro right after cancellation just like Hooverphonic ditched “Release Me” should they have had a chance to keep or toss their entry. It doesn’t present itself as the case, but I just feel like it is.

• That the song was revealed on a Cypriot talkshow where three dudes were aware that we were waiting for “El Diablo”, trying to throw some gratuitous English our way, hating that we didn’t like our show, but promising that “El Diablo” MV will be shown in “TWU MEENETS”, which wasn’t but worth the wait eh?

• That people were cackling at Zara Larsson joining in the talks of Elena’s MV having aspects of her own song’s MV plagiarized.

• That Elena performed her song in a private-ish event when drunk and having heaps of fun and people cried that it was gonna be a NQ.

And do I really need to elaborate about the local Cypriot church scandal? It just so happened that a bunch of people read into a song’s title so much, thought it was rude of their country to sing about the devil (eventhough the bigger offenses made here is the gratuitous Spanish more than anything), and hoped that the broadcaster will disqualify the very song they okayed to be internally chosen because they are displeased with it - and if it’s not disqualified, they even threatened to burn the headquarters down. No, really. That’s like the most amusing part of that whole spectacle. Imagine burning a broadcaster headquarters down for a song... if I did it for every favourite of mine that lost to other broadcasters, the broadcasters would run out of locations to rent, because everything else good is pre-occupied or the ashes of their lost headquarters staring back at them.

Imagine being toxicly Christian in 2021... How long until Elena’s face gets photoshopped on the main protagoniste of The Unholy?

ANY LAST WORDS?

Even if I’m with this song, part of me kind of wants me to fail to make Cyprus realize that their formula is starting to wear thin and they got to be somewhat of a versatile nation in Eurovision if they want to be on the radar of not just one specific niche. But then again, they learned nothing when they flopped with Tamta, because she sneakily qualified as opposed to failing even harder than Tulia, ah well. Will they ever learn?

But why would I openly wish this to a top 11 song of mine, oh dear. Good luck Elena, may God be on your side, I guess. :P

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #400

“it’s an age-old story: the first will be last, and the last will be kings  /  the small will be great, and the great will be weak”

Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom; I thank her every time she cooks for me/us, and I really do mean it. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Somewhere around a month. What was the last thing to really surprise you? My brother has a fiancee and is having another son! :') Have you ever found out that you have been sleep walking? No. Have you ever tried making something from one of those short cooking videos? How did it turn out? No. Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? Idk about anything notable. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No. What is the last thing you had a craving for? A donut. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Sometimes. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? It's so rare that I buy things with my own cash that I really don't know. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? Venus' terrarium on my own. Mom has to help me with buying it. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? I don’t cook, so. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? More than anything, I get sad over how much weight I've gained. I was so healthy once upon a time. It also just makes me miss my childhood. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? I believe it was about setting up an appointment with my therapist. How do you get your news? Facebook articles, really. What do you think about lizards? I love them! I was that kid that always tried to catch them when I saw 'em. Now I just observe because I don't want to terrify them by trying to pick them up. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? No, but sure, I'd do it. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Both. The time I received morphine, it did jack-all for me. If you had to choose which video game to be in, which would it be? Hmmm... I would say Azeroth from World of Warcraft, but too much shit goes down, ha ha. Perhaps the top of the temple in Shadow of the Colossus? So long as I could have someone I love with me, I'd be in Heaven. Although... I doubt there's WiFi there, so I might drop that answer, lmfao. I really don't know. Between the two, would you rather live in a place where it’s only night or where it’s only day? Day. I need the natural light of day sometimes, and if I wanted to sleep, I could just find shade. If you had to be an actor/actress in a movie, what genre of the movie would you be best at? Fantasy. Out of fire, earth, water, wind, light, and dark, which element appeals the most to you? Dark. What’s one thing that you wish was real? Friendly dragons, haha. Is there anything (show, comedian, etc.) that you constantly quote or make references to? No. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have absolutely no idea. I don't even remember almost any of them. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes. Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Yeah, sometimes. I genuinely don't mind her. Do you still make Christmas lists? Yeah, because I'm asked to. Do you watch the show Dexter? Never seen it. Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? I'm torn between the violin, harp, and piano. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom, by a year. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? A lot, actually. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? I have these tictacs I keep in my purse in case of a dry mouth. Medication makes me have that severely, and my psychiatrist recommended me to always have a hard candy available to suck on since it forces salivation. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? My younger sister, badly. How far away do your grandparents live from you? They're all dead, but they lived in far away states. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? None. It's a bad idea to keep chips in this house, haha. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Well, I was born with dirty blonde hair like my dad, but my hair is thick and more similar in color now to my mom's before the cancer completely drained the color. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH MY GOD LA;KSDJFAKLWJE I DON'T KNOW I LOOK AWFUL IN EVERYTHING. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Teared up, yes, multiple times. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but that's the extent of it. If you were adopted, would you want to know? At this point in my life, I don't really know. I kinda find myself leaning towards no. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman sure does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? I want to say that was the night before I was getting my tattoo redone. Do you own any flip-flops? Yeah, considering they're like... all I wear, ever. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) It was the only lucid dream I've ever had and I'm not complaining about it lmao. Have you ever had a dream that upset you or made you cry? Oh I'm sure. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Not to my recollection, no, and I don't believe you should ever adopt that mentality and say that to someone. Do you own a laser? No. Is there anything you like to put on a sandwich, that some might find odd? Nah. I do enjoy a layer of potato chips on some sandwiches, like ham and cheese, but I know that's like an actual thing some people just like. What colour are the shoes you wear most often? They're black flip-flops. When was the last time you were required to put on a mask? In the morning when I go to the TMS office. And what colour was the last mask you wore? It's one of those normal blue and white medical ones. The last time you were in a queue, what were you waiting for? To see the woman who would give me my APAP mask. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes, Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? None for the first shot, but my second shot bruised badly and I felt seriously shitty the following day. I was perfectly fine afterwards, though. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Sara has an AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING voice. When was the last time you wore make-up, if ever? What shades/colours? I don't even remember, but I'm sure it would've been black. What is something that seems popular, but doesn't interest you personally? Fashion, various TV shows, etc... Are you clumsy or graceful? I am STUPID clumsy. Like it's just ridiculous. Do you like gloves? I like fingerless gloves. Does your sibling(s) have braces? My older sister did as a kid. Do you ever say "OMG" in person? No; it's a random pet peeve of mine, "Internet talk" irl. What was the last thing your parents got mad at you for? Dad, no idea. Mom, uhhhh. Not "mad," but "annoyed" probably better fits how she felt about me leaving the heating pad I use for my cramps on the floor. Do your pets have favorites? I'm definitely Roman's favorite seeing as he is my literal shadow, and I'd assume Venus trusts me more than anyone else, but realistically, she's in contact with almost no one else, so. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? The first guy to have the title of "boyfriend" was Aaron, and I broke up with him 'cuz I just wasn't as romantically into him as I thought I might be. It was puppy-dog love, and I feel I knew that. My first *real* boyfriend was Jason, who broke up with me because my mental illnesses began to affect his wellbeing. Which I now accept is fine, but he seriously coulda gone about things differently... When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? Late into my teenage years; idk the exact age and don't feel like doing the math. Teddy kept peeing on the bed to where it was just unrecoverable and needed to be thrown away. My current bed is comfy enough. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? My absolute favorite was digging tunnels in the sandbox, pretending to be a meerkat. The only trend I ever created, haha, seeing as my classmates got into it with me, allowing us to make huge tunnel systems. It was really cool. I also liked playing 4 Square (which I now don't even remember the details of) on the basketball court. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, my driver's ed instructor and the guy who was on the same route as me. What’s your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? N/A Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any as pets? I'm picky with dogs. I like interacting with any dog, but I don't plan on ever owning another. I don't like how hyper they can be, and I prefer more independent pets, like cats. Basically, I'll be hyped to meet a random dog on the street and give it some loving, but I don't want to take it home to be my own. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? No. I cannot stand elitists. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? And I hate gatekeeping in fandoms even more. There are varying intensities of "being a fan," but regardless, if you like something, congratulations, you're a valid, "real" fan. What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? I don't pay attention to this, honestly. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? I'll wear either, but without is way more comfortable. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? God no. What length do you like your shorts to be? I don’t wear shorts. What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Warcraft, but not because it was bad. I've talked before how in the theater, the orcs' voices were just so fucking baritone that I couldn't understand almost ANYTHING they said. Kinda ruined the experience for me. What was the last disappointing book you read? Don't recall. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Very rarely. If I do, they're mostly of animals being silly. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Probably Dory, but idk. There's WAY too many options to fish through.

[wildflowergrant]

jealous 

pairing: ethan dolan x reader, platonic!kyle x reader

A/n: Ok but this kind made me swerve to kyle’s lane whoops (pls send in more lol) also sorry in advance cuz this is unedited 😬

You were always closer to Ethan than Grayson, mostly because you liked him. A lot. Maybe a bit too much. Your feelings came up to you here and there when you were teens, and you even broke up with your ex boyfriend because he told you that he doesn’t want you hanging out with Ethan anymore. But now, you can’t control it.

Now, you moved into LA with the twins from the money you made from creating videos on YouTube. You always had them on your daily vlogs and your fans always shipped you and Ethan, which encouraged your feelings for him to get stronger.

But all of that was crushed when you walked into his room and he was fixing his hair. You sat on his bed while he was looking in the mirror.

“Where are you going?” He looked at you through the mirror and smiled a bit.

“I have a date.” You could feel your heart stop and crack in half.

Even though you had heartache, you still tried to play it cool. “Really? With who?”

“Do you remember Miranda? You’ve met her before.”

“Oh, yeah that’s right. You guys hit it off well.” You hates that she was nice. If she wasn’t then you would’ve been more mad, but she didn’t do anything wrong. Ethan walked over to his closet and put on his perfume.

“Ok, I’m gonna head out now.” You walked him out and watched as he drove away and you waved each other goodbye. Once you got inside, you sighed loudly, not realizing that you were holding your breath. And definitely not realizing Kyle smirking at you from the couch.

“Tough love?” You gave him a saddened expression and went to sit next to him.

You put your head in your hands. “I don’t even know, Kyle. I thought that he liked me back.”

He put his arms over your shoulder and rubbed your back. “Hey, Y/n. If he doesn’t see how gorgeous you are, then he’s not worth it. You deserve better than this.” Your head went up and you turned around to hug him.

“Thank you so much. And I’m sorry that I don’t like you back.” He told you many times how much he likes you, and you always feel bad when you don’t feel that same way. The last time he told you was a week ago and you didn’t really respond nicely to him.

“It’s ok, Y/n. You can’t force yourself to love someone. And your heart belongs to Ethan, I get it.” You two pulled away from each other and he smirked at you. “But it wouldn’t hurt to show him what he’s missing.”

“What do you mean.”

“We could do couple-ey things you know? Like go out and eat, be a little more affectionate.”

You took a second to process. “Ohh ok. But purely platonic, right?”

He nodded his head. “Of course. You set boundaries, and I won’t go over them.”

“And this is ok with you?” He nodded again. “Ok, I don’t see why not.” Ethan is already going out with someone else, he wouldn’t be mad about you two.

“Great.  Well, we can start by going out to eat because I’m starving.” 

“Ok, let me just put on something other than pj shorts.”  You quickly put on leggings and a hoodie and headed outside with Kyle.

You guys went to In n Out and sat down when you guys waited for your order.  You two sat close to each other- maybe a little too close- talking about anything.  And what you guys didn’t notice was a group of girls looking over at you and taking pictures of you.

When your order was called out, he offered to get the food while you were sitting down waiting.  You got a text from Ethan, asking if you wanted to hang out.

Y/n: Aren’t you on a date?

Ethan: Yeah, but I’m talking about after my date

Y/n:

Which is when?

Ethan:

idk

Y/n:

well I'm kinda hanging out with Kyle tonight

read 10:33

It took him about five minutes to reply.

Ethan:

K

You rolled your eyes and looked up to see Kyle holding a tray of food and two cups of soda.  A smiled appeared on your face and you got the drinks and set up the food.  He sat next to you and put his hands around your shoulder while eating the fries.

“He text me.” You saw his fist tighten up for a second but he let go.

“What did he say?” You shrugged and finished eating. “He asked me to hang out after, but he’s still on his date.”  

“Why would he text you when he’s on a date still?” “I don’t know.  But I just told him that I’m hanging out with you tonight.”

You two kept on eating and when you were finished, you headed back to his car.  You told him didn’t want to go back home yet, so he said that he would take the long way home.

There was loud music that yo were singing along to and he was laughing so hard you thought that he was going to swerve.  He lowered the music and went on to talk.

“Hey, do you want to have a movie night?” Your eyes widened and excitement filled your body. “Oh my god yeah.  Wait, pull over we need too get snacks.” He laughed and pulled into the Ralph’s parking lot.

“Ok, you get the microwave popcorn and I’ll get the drinks.” He nodded and let go of your hand.

When you were walking down the aisle you heard someone gasp beside you.

“Oh my god, I love your videos so much.”  You immediately smiled.

“Thank  you! You’re too cute.” You can tell she was a bit nervous, so you tried to calm her down a bit.  “Do you want to take a picture?”  She nodded her head and gave her phone to her mom.  You two posed and she looks a few photos.

After that, her nerves were gone and she asked you “So, what are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m just having a movie night with my friend, considering all the candy I have.” You held up the candy but you put it down when you felt a hand gently go on the small of your back.

“Hey, I’m back.”  You turned around and saw Kyle looking down at you with a box of popcorn on his other hand.

You looked back at her and you saw her eyes go between you, Kyle, and the hand on your back.You could already hear the ‘that should be Ethan’ coming from her eyes.

“Well, we got to go and pay for these things.  It was nice meeting you!” “You too!”  You two turned to her and started walking but you didn’t see her take a photo of you and Kyle with his arm around your shoulders.

After a few minutes of driving you guys were finally home and cooked all the popcorn and you set up the candy on the coffee table.  When you guys decided what movie to play, you put your head on his shoulder and he has his arm wrapped around you.  You noticed that he likes putting his arms around you, so you took a mental note on that.

“Hey Kyle?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.  I really had a fun time today.  Really.  It’s nice hanging out with someone without thinking if you should stay friends or if you really want to tell them how you feel.” “Same.  I’m glad that we’re doing this.  And I thought that I wouldn’t like it considering I liked you, but I actually like being your friend rather than.. you know.” While the credits rolled and most of the candy was finished, you fell asleep on him, and he wasn’t complaining, so he fell asleep on the couch too.

Ethan came back in the house expecting you to still be awake and waiting for him so that you two can go on a late night ride, but his hopes were crushed when he saw you sleeping on the couch, head rested on Kyle and his arms around you.  

It’s like a huge truck hit him right there. He was jealous of Kyle. He wanted to be in Kyle’s position, but he’s not, so he quickly went to his room to go to sleep.

And this went on for weeks. He decided to stay with Miranda, even though he wanted Y/n. But she seems to be busy with him.

Some fans. Ok, well all of the fans saw this too. The picture of you and Kyle that the fan took in the grocery store went viral and there were mixed reactions to it. Some liked you two together and even made a ship name while others still wanted you to be with Ethan. And Ethan saw a lot of them. He was tagged in almost every pic that people took of them hanging out and being way too close on his opinion.

Even in the first week, you were hanging out with Kyle a lot more than Ethan. Almost as if he replaced him.

One night, he heard your giggling and his laughs from across the halls and he couldn’t help but look and make sure nothing was happening.

Ethan tried to play it cool and act as if he was going to get a cup of water. He peeked through your door and saw that you two were on the bed, looking at some video. Nothing bad. Until he saw that arm wrapped around you. His blood was slowly boiling and he wanted to rip that arm off of him. A bit violent, but he really wanted to.

The next morning, he saw that you posted a new picture. When he went to you account and saw you and Kyle together. He didn’t want to look at it, but the little voice in his head told him to look. He tapped on the picture it showed you slightly leaning on a sink with a huge hoodie, hair up, and you had a green face mask on. Right behind you was Kyle and he had his hair tied with one of your scrunchies and he had the same green face mask on. When Ethan looked closer, he could see his other arm on her waist.

After a few hours, he was on his explore page and he saw thousands of the same pictures. And again, that little voice told him to look at them. All of them. He wasn’t much for going on Instagram for a long time, but he made an exception. He read all the captions and the were a lot of people freaking out.

“Oh my god guys look at his hand.”

“Ok but why do I kind of ship them together now.”

“Ugh this is literal relationship goals.”

“It’s so cute how he has one of her scrunchies in his hair.”

And one after another, they got worse.

“Ok I prefer her to be with Kyle than Ethan.”

“Ethan who?”

“Looks like Ethan was replaced.”

“Guys she’s wearing his hoodie isn’t that cute.”

That one killed him. A knife right to his heart. He swiped to see a pic of Kyle in the same hoodie you were wearing in your post.  Ethan was so upset that you were letting this happen.  Usually you would only let Ethan be close to you like that, but Kyle?  That was unheard of.  Of course, you two were good friends and he would help film for some of you videos, but nothing other than that.

He decided that he shouldn’t  dwell too much on it, and that it would go away soon.  And although it was horrible of him to do that, he kept on dating Miranda to keep his mind off of things.

The next day, you were going out with your friends to eat out and shop, while Grayson told him t come with him for brunch.  He woke up to an empty house and got ready to meet Gray at their usual breakfast spot.  When he got there, he was greeted by the last person he wanted to meet.  Kyle.

“Hey, E what’s up?”  He glared at him and stayed silent.  Kyle  followed him to show where they were sitting.  

Throughout the whole entire time, it was just Kyle and Grayson talking with Ethan giving them the silent treatment and making annoyed sounds every now and then.

“So, Kyle.  What’s up with you and Y/n?”  Ethan tensed up and his heart ached.  He looked over at Kyle and he had a smirk on his face that he just wanted to wipe off.  

“What do you mean? There’s nothing between us.  Just friends, man.”  Gray gave him the ‘ok sure’ look.  “I swear, dude! She’s just my friend.  That’s it.”

“Well, that’s not what I see.” Ethan couldn’t keep it in, but he couldn’t just storm out without getting at least a hundred questions.  “I mean, you guys hang out so much and there’s so much flirting.  And don’t get me started with those instagram posts shipping you two together.”

Kyle just smiled, shook his head, and looked down to eat another piece of his toast.  Ethan’s fist were balled up under the table and his face was slowly turning red.  Gray looked at him with a concerned look and spoke trough the food in his mouth. “E, you good?”  Although it was so nasty looking at his food in his mouth, he didn’t car at this point.

“Yeah.  I’m fine.  I just don't feel that well.” He nodded and smiled.

“Well, don't go too close to Kyle, or else he’s going to kiss Y/n and get her sick too.” He laughed and Kyle just laughed it off.  Ethan just brought out an awkward laugh and pulled out his phone.   He never told anybody of his long time crush on you.  Even Grayson, which was probably a mistake considering his dilemma right now.  He was too shy to do anything about it and too embarrassed to tell Gray, since he always saw you “as a sister”.  

Now, he was paying for it.  He couldn’t stand the nonstop jokes coming from Grayson and he hated how Kyle didn’t get mad at any of that.  Then, all of his pent up anger got out after the last comment that Gray made.

“Hey, stop denying it.  I hear those little laughs coming from the bed and some nights I even hear the bed squeaking.”  He started to imitate sounds of a bed creaking back and forth and Kyle started laughing.

Ethan abruptly stood up which moved the whole table.  Luckily, Grayson’s hot coffee didn’t spill on him, even though Ethan wanted it to.  With everyone looking at him, he left the cafe and started to drive off.  He still had the right mind to know that he can’t drive when he’s angry and has too much on his mind, so he tried to go home as quickly as he can.

He parked his jeep and went straight to his bedroom.  He plopped himself on the bed and screamed into his pillow to try and release some of his stress.

The door opened and he stopped screaming and stayed still.  When Ethan heard footsteps coming at his door he immediately prayed that it wouldn’t be Gray asking him what the hell that was in the cafe.

But he heard soft knocks and he already knew that it was you.

“E? Are you ok? I heard you screaming from outside.”  You put your bags on the floor. He felt the bed dip and he almost wanted to cry from hearing your voice.  Even though it wasn’t a long time, you two sort of ignored each other after you started to hang out with Kyle and when he started to date Miranda, which she also just broke up with him anyways.

“It’s nothing, Y/n.  I’m fine don’t worry.  You can go now.” You sighed and laid down next to him.

“I won’t leave until you tell me what’s going on.  You’ve been ignoring me forever.”

“I haven’t been ignoring you forever.” “You know what I mean. And you don’t tell me anything anymore.  I didn’t even know that you and Miranda stopped dating until yesterday when Gray told me.”

Ethan let out an annoyed sigh, which you tried to ignore.  “Well, it’s not like nobody is keeping you company.  Seems like you’re busy with Kyle to be hanging out with me.”

“What do you mean?”  His emotions were getting the best of him.  He knew that he should stop before it gets worse and breaks something, but he just needs to let everything out to you.

“Don’t play dumb, Y/n.  You guys have been together 24/7 and he’s been flirting with you the whole time.” He glared at you and your head tilted. 

Sure, at first you guys did it so that it would get on Ethan’s nerves, but after a while, you guys just acted like that out of habit.  It was the touchy friendship and that was it.

“Kyle and I are just friends.  Nothing more, Ethan.”  You put your hand on his shoulder.

“Well, you seem more than just friends.” He stood up and your hand fell onto the mattress.  He started pacing around, and breathing loudly, which you knew was a bad sign.  You knew that you had to choose your words carefully before he explodes.

“Ethan, you don’t even know for a fact that Kyle and I are dating.  Because we’re not.”  He glared at you and narrowed his eyes.

“Oh really?  Are you sure?  That’s not what everybody else sees.  Even fucking Grayson thinks that you guys are a thing.  I mean, come on, Y/n open your eyes.”  His voice was getting louder and louder after every word.

You put your head in your hands and mumbled out “E.. Why are you so pressed about this?”

His brain wasn’t working at that moment.  Half of him said that he needs to contain himself because he’s starting to be too much for her.  You were crying for god’s sake.  But the other half just told him to let it out.  He’s been holding those emotions in for so long.

Ethan’s fist clenched and his face was red and his jaw was clenched.  He saw the position you were in but proceeded to shout.  “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OK?”  You flinched at the tone and volume of his voice.  You lifted your head and your mouth was wide open and eyes wide.

Ethan on the other hand, felt like he just deflated.  His emotions were everywhere and mixed around.  He was sad yet angry.

Tears started to brim his eyes. “Y/n.  We’re more than friends and you fucking know it.”  You looked down, not being able to look at him as you nod.  “But now, I’m having second thoughts because of him.” He spat out.

After a few minutes of not replying, you felt the bed dip and looked over to see Ethan slouching on the other end of the bed.  He was hurting and it pained you to see.  You slowly crawled over to him and hugged him from behind.

Your legs were on either side of him and you laid you head on top of his shoulder and tears started to fall onto his shirt.  His breathing calmed down and after a few seconds, you softly spoke.  “I love you too, E.  So much. So so much.” You kissed his shoulder, moving up to his neck.

He moved his arms and you hugged him tighter because you were scared he was going to leave.  But you felt his huge hands cover yours and he brought it to his lips and kissed both of them.  He brought them down and pressed them onto his chest.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

He tightened his grip on your hands. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

A few more minutes passed after forgiving each other until Ethan broke the silence. “Ok, come on.” He sat up and went to lay on the bed, leading you next to him.

“I know that you’re tired from all of this, so let’s take a nap.” He pulled you into his chest and kissed your head.

You snaked your hands around his waist and put your leg over his. “I love you, E.”

Ethan put the blanket over you guys and laid his head on top of yours. “I love you more.” He closed his eyes, falling asleep happier than ever with the fact that he has you now.

A/n: I had too much fun writing this

Requests are OPEN

[miss-pearlescent]

my experience at a Super M concert :)

Y’all I saw Super M in Vancouver this Thursday and my eyes and ears were BLESSED! IDK how to describe it, but Kai is even more Kai in person. Like his dancing is 100x harder than what you see on screen, and his proportions...OMG HIS PROPORTIONS. I used to think his Jopping outfit did him dirty but seeing it in real life...WOW HIS LEGS ARE SO LONG BUT HIS TORSO BALANCES EVERYTHING OUT PERFECTLY. Like when I see Ten or Taeyong, I’m like “damn they are pretty skinny” and Lucas is like BUILT for a kpop boy, but Kai is like peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerfectly inbetween!!!! I could not take my eyes off of him during the group numbers (except during times like when Taeyong was grinding on the floor during No Manners fkjaldhalfjds) because he’s just soooo beautiful and his movements are sooooo expressive and purposeful and I just CAN’T.

I have been a Kai stan since 2012 and missed the chance to see the EXO concert in New Jersey so I had to make it to Super M. No regrets travelling across the country for it :’) I just wish he had more performance time LOL everyone had a solo stage but his was at the veryyyyy end and you can kinda see that he’s a little bored lol or maybe I’m just projecting LOL Also omgggg his solo (side note: CONFESSION SHOOK ME UP EVEN THOUGH I BARELY WATCH IT ON YOUTUBE BECAUSE the choreo is kinda boring ngl) is at the end and then he has to run and change to do No Manners and then get all cute for With You AND HE LOOKED SOOOO TIRED. He kept doing that thing where he has his hands on his knees (me when my anemia catches up to me lol) when the other members aren’t looking BUT THEY NOTICED and I think they were a little worried but they couldn’t show it so they just kept patting him on the back. Like right when With You began, Kai stands between Mark and Lucas and they’re both like “o_o u ok?” and he just waves it off and i’m like “OMG HE’S NOT OK” from across the stadium LOOOL He kept trying to be cute for the number, but he still hadn’t recovered even for the commentary section after ;__; he had asked backstage for a water but nobody noticed djkalhgdkalfjdskl I’m so sad.

Then he took a towel/napkin from the front of the stage and started wiping down his shirt with it and I forgot about being sad lol

ANYWAY they had to perform Jopping right after that and I was genuinely worried because he looked soooooo tired but he still went hard during Jopping. Like....I was shocked LOL He was so fine LMAO.

I would love to post videos of my commentary during the concert because they’re hilarious but it’s just me going “OMG WOW WOW WOOOOOW OMG AHHHH WOW HE’S SO HOT WHAT THE FUUUUCK”

OK about the other members:

Ten is literally an anime boy! They drew his eyebrows soooooo sharply for the show and during his solo, he literally looked like a hot anime villain like wOW. And his dancing!!!! He’s soooo strong but flow-y and everything looks easy but difficult at the same time LOL he was the member that often diverted my attention away from Kai because sometimes Ten would do some next level shit and my brain’s like “WHAT was that.”

Taeyong....he’s the sweetest thing omg He did a hard rap solo stage and then comes out and says shit like “Vancouver, you are so beautiful...like Mark!...You are so hot...like Mark!” He’s PRECIOUS with his English. He tries soooo hard and I feel like all he wants to do is make people happy ;__; i wuv him

Mark IS HILARIOUSLY AWKWARD. And he just runs with it! Sometimes he’ll make accidental innuendos with his words (he wouldn’t stop talking about how much time he and the members spent in a ~spa~ like bitch he LOVED that spa) and when he realizes he’s being awkward, he just tapers off his sentences and hopes nobody realizes but THE WHOLE STADIUM REALIZES and it doesn’t matter that he’s speaking in Korean because his members all know when he’s said something awkward LOL my whole son.

Lucas WOW LUCAS IS WHAT I ASPIRE TO BE IF I WERE A BOY. He’s really goodlooking (as we all know) but he’s just soooo funny with the shit that he does. I’m sure there are fancams of his solo stage (Go Boom??) online but I had never watched them and I was SHOCKED by how fun it was. I loooove that he doesn’t go for the sexy or hard concept because he’s sooooooo fun and cute and entertaining when he’s just being himself T____T Please go watch his solo stage online and cry at the video playing behind him. He’s SOOO cute.

Taemin..............Taemin taemin teaalfdklah WHAT THE FUCK. SHINee was what got me into kpop when they came out with ring ding dong and I fell in looooooooooooove with Jonghyun and his blond hair lol But Taemin!?!?! What?!?!?! So the concert starts off with I Can’t Stand the Rain and then Taemin does his solos.......that’s like almost 15min straight dancing/singing HARD. And then they do a bit of talking and his voice is so different! Like I knew it was different but hearing it in real life?!! wow

MY BOY BAEKHYUN I LOVE HIM WOW. I thought they would lipsync a bunch of their songs because hello it’s tiring af BUT BYUN BAEKHYUN SHOCKED ME WHEN HE DID HIS HIGH NOTES AND YOU COULD SEE HIS VEINS ON THE SCREEN JFKALHGKLSJFKDLS And he’s sooooo cute and cheesy and his voice during UN Village omggggggggggggggggg I’m soooo glad I got to hear it live ;____; I’m just a little sad that nobody really does fanchants around here other than singing along to the song because when there are those silent beats during UN Village, nobody did “BAEK-HYUN-NIE” and it just felt awkward to me and I was so sad screaming it by myself LOL

ANYWAY the show was a short 1.5hrs where we stood the ENTIRE TIME even though we all had seats -_- Jopping came on in the beginning as the background to an intro vid and everyone was shook so we all stood up...AND THEN NOBODY SAT BACK DOWN FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE SHOW LOOOL The boys are soooooo energetic and I can’t believe they do this every two days while hopping on and off a bunch of planes/buses (they bussed to vancouver from seattle T_T) Watching them honestly makes me fear that they’re going to collapse after every set because THAT’S HOW I FEEL LOL

The concert was such an amazing experience and I hope everyone loves these boys forever and ever because they deserve it T____T

[purplesurveys]

792

Who was the last person you had an intelligent debate with?: I don’t really have debates with anyone other than Gab or Angela. I’ll have deep discussions with my other friends, but they never turn into a debate.

Who was the last person who cooked something for you?:  My dad. Technically he just reheated stuff tonight, but he was still also the one who cooked for us this morning for breakfast.

Who was the last person who you heard singing?:  My mom. She does karaoke by herself one or two times a week for funsies and will sing songs from her day for an hour or so, and she did it tonight.

Who was the last person you kissed and it meant something?: Gabie, but it’s been a whilllllle. 

Who was the last person you were upset with?:  This girl that I’m classmates with for a layout class, Mikee. Horrible work ethic. So just for context, I currently have a grade of INC (Incomplete) for the layout class I took last semester because my prof wasn’t satisfied with our final output, which are a class magazine and a class newspaper; and when you have an INC, you typically have a year to fulfill the missing requirement/s (except in our case, we only have half a year because we have graduating students in the class, including me). Now that we’re inching closer to graduation and the college is supposed to release the official list of graduating students soon, I have to make sure ALL my grades are in. Mikee volunteered to be the one to contact our prof for submitting our work, and even though we’ve finished up and polished our revised outputs, she is taking FOREVER to email the prof for whatever fucking reason. I’m getting antsy by the hour and am desperate for a bit of urgency on her end because if my name doesn’t end up on the list of graduates I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to lash out on her.

Who was the last person you danced with?: Angela, Gabie, and Hans. And some other ADMU dudes I’ve never hung out with other than at that party.

Who was the last person you felt awkward around?: My dad. He made pancakes from scratch earlier and I think his measurements weren’t 100% spot on, because they came out incredibly dense and bland. I was already cranky enough this morning – and I still hadn’t known he made them himself – so I scowled when I took my first few bites because I thought it tasted off and even asked if it was some kind of vegetarian pancake. Once he said he made it from scratch, I felt awkward, shut up, and wolfed my plate down to show him that I enjoyed it and to make up for my horrid behavior just seconds before.

Who was the last person who borrowed something from you?: My mom borrowed my car (which is technically my parents’ anyway because they bought it lmao) to go to work today.

Who was the last person who showed you how to do something?: My dad. I wanted to get reacquainted with making stuff in the kitchen so he showed me how to cook hotdogs properly. I was already making them before, but after one time that one of our stove burners emitted a huge flame when I turned it on, I stopped making any food altogether for a while.

Who was the last person you went shopping with?: My mom.

Who was the last person you had a crush on?: Song Joong Ki hahaaaaaaah.

Who was the last person who made you cry?: The amazing actor from Descendants of the Sun playing the troubled rookie doctor. I looked him up and apparently he’s also one of the lead vocalists of SHINee, so he must be talented as all hell.

Who was the last person you shared a bed with?: Kimi, 45 seconds before he jumped off.

Who was the last person you got drunk with?: Angela, Hans, Gabie, Aids...I don’t remember the others anymore but they were cool and funny people. Idk, we were a big group so yeah.

Who was the last person who touched your hair?: Just me.

What was the last pair of shoes you wore?: A pair of Nikes to walk my dog.

What was the last birthday party you attended?: My cousin’s, aunt’s, and grandma’s. Their birthdays all fall on the same week in December, so it’s tradition for us to go over to my aunt’s to celebrate.

What was the last thing you said to your mother?: Something about thesis. I was telling her that I included her and dad and my four grandparents in my acknowledgments.

What was the last song you listened to?: I was listening to Beyoncé’s Homecoming a few hours ago but I’m too lazy to check what song was it I paused.

What was the last thing you thought about before going to sleep last night?: I wasn’t thinking of anything, I was just focused on falling asleep.

What was the last fun thing you did with your family?: Video-calling other relatives.

What was the last thing you borrowed from someone?: My dad’s earphones...and I’ve kept them for the meantime too lol thanks dad.

What was the last vegetable you ate?: String beans.

What was the last thing you bought online?: A Hydro Flask and several necklaces.

What was the last thing you had to drink?: I don’t *have* to drink it but I did make myself a cup of coffee tonight.

What was the last reason you went to see a doctor?: Had to get my eye checked. Sucks that I couldn’t and can’t have a follow-up appointment especially since my left eye still acts up from time to time.

What was the last non-food item you purchased?: Soju lmaaaaaooo.

What was the last type of yogurt you ate?: I hate yogurt.

What was the last fast food place you ate at?: Jollibee. We didn’t eat inside though, we just got the food delivered to our home. I think the last fast food place I was actually inside of was McDonald’s.

What was the last thing that bothered you and kept you awake?: I haven’t been bothered by anything in a while. Caffeine is the only thing keeping me up these days.

When was the last time you embarrassed yourself? I had sort of a Eureka moment earlier tonight when I suddenly recalled my paternal grandparents’ whole names. I had opted to use their nicknames in my acknowledgments and didn’t think anything of it, but then I remembered what their actual full first names were and then felt embarrassed within myself that I submitted a final draft with their nicknames. HAHAHA it’s a good things are less chill with the lockdown in place so I was able to explain and resubmit with the necessary revisions.

When was the last time you watched a movie with someone?: January-ish. I watched Hello Love Goodbye with Gabie.

When was the last time you charged your phone?: A few hours ago.

When was the last time you were sick with a cold?: It’s been...a while. I rarely get sick with anything so I don’t get to keep track of whenever I do.

When was the last time you spoke to a family member on the phone?: My birthday when my lola called.

When was the last time it rained where you live?: A couple of days ago, I think.

When was the last time you laid awake, unable to sleep?: This afternoon. I wanted to sleep the heat off, but it was just so uncomfortable I just ended up twisting and turning and sweating more. MAAAAAAN I can’t wait for June.

When was the last time you met someone new?: A week or so ago when I went on a following spree on this blog and started talking to a couple of them. Lol following spree in the survey community means following 3 or 4 blogs, but still.

When was the last time you filled up your car with petrol/gas?:  Gotta be the first week of March as that was the last time I was able to drive a lot.

When was the last time you ate popcorn?: Some months ago, I’m guessing? There was a brief time that my mom bought popcorn kernels to make bowls of popcorn for us, but we got tired of it pretty easily so there was no reason for her to keep buying more packs.

When was the last time you went to a school event?  I went to the Lantern Parade last December, as is tradition for my school’s community. I was mostly alone because my friends had to leave early and Gabie was stuck in traffic all evening and didn’t arrive til like, 9:30 PM, which sounds sad for me lol but it was still a fun experience.

When was the last time you took the trash out?: My parents don’t give me that task.

When was the last time you did anything to change your appearance?: Fucking March, a week before the lockdown. Okodlkjfffjsj don’t remind me I’m still pressed about it. No one got to see my short hair and bangs grrrrrrrr

When was the last time you cooked at home?: A week ago. I reconciled with the kitchen and cooked a couple of hotdogs hahaha. They’re frozen and literally a child could make them, but egh, I wanna have my moment too.

When was the last time you had a sleepover?: Honestly can’t remember. Start of the year maybe?

Where did you last go shopping for clothing?: Feliz. It’s my favorite place to find new clothes so yeah, you’ll always be hearing about Feliz. Where did you last go on a date to?: A study date at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and dinner at Yabu afterwards.

Where was the last wedding you went to?: 2007, my uncle and aunt’s. I had plans to go to my cousin Joelle’s wedding in Texas this year, but I think they postponed it which highkey ended up working well for them because it wouldn’t have happened under current circumstances anyway.

Where did you last park your car, other than home?: Gabie’s place.

Where did you last leave your keys?: On top of the dining room TV.

Where did your last kiss take place? By Gabie’s front door, I think.

Where did you last go for a walk to?: In front of the house and just a little farther, with my dog. He’s getting older so he gets tired easily and can’t go on the same walks we used to have, but I still make sure he gets his exercise.

Where did you last take a vacation to?: We had a weekend trip to Tagaytay and Cavite but honestly it felt like a quick getaway more than anything else. The last trip that felt like a vacation was when we went to Bicol.

Where did you last go to celebrate your own birthday?: I celebrated it at home.

Where was the last place you had dinner at?: Just at home, again.

Where did you last go to exercise?: I don’t exercise. < Ha, samesies.

Where did you last take public transport to?: Jum and I were going to the Senate building for a journalism class. That was the first and last time I took legit public transport.

Where does the last person you hung out with live?: Upper part of the city.

Where did you last visit for the first time?: Uhhhh I think it was the salon I went to to get my hair done.

Where did you last take a photo?: On the floor of the dining area, to take selfies with my dog.

[hopefadeskg]

how would the girls react if da babie (suki :3 ) went missing/murdered? Idk I'm curious

A/N: First and foremost, fuck you for this- TW: Mentions of self-harm/suicide.

HYPE HOUSE REACTIONS TO SUKI’S DEATH

KATSUMI:

Completely devastated

Everything was fine, it was a normal day and everyone was happy

When she opened the front door, she didn’t expect to see two police officers standing there with grim expressions

The news itself took moments for it to settle in, but when it did…

The house was alerted by Katsumi’s gut-wrenching scream of agony as she fell to her knees

She let out loud and heavy sobs, hands buried in her hair 

She definitely blames herself for it

She was supposed to protect Suki, was supposed to raise her, be there for her

Nothing after that day is the same

Katsumi quits singing

She doesn’t come out of her room

She refuses to talk to anyone, even Polly and Aspen

It’s rare to ever see her eat

She has thoughts of self-harm

There came a day where she stood on a bridge, ready to jump

Aspen was the one to tackle her and drag her home

Afterwards the Hype House constantly monitored her and her behavior

Long story short, she would become a broken husk of no emotions

RIKA:

She was filming a video when the scream echoed through the house

Without a second though, she ran down the stairs with everyone else and scrambled over to hold Katsumi

Demanding to know what happened, she felt her heart stop at the news

She looked at everyone’s reaction before pulling Katsumi in closer

She’s definitely the one to tend to everyone through this grieving period

Catches herself mournfully looking into Suki’s room

Sometimes finds Katsumi sleeping in Suki’s bed

Misses playing dress up with the bean

After Katsumi’s scare, she kept her door open and barely slept to watch out for the former singer

Cries a lot in the shower

RENSAKI:

The scream was a bit muffled because of her music and the fact that she was in the basement

But after hearing all the footsteps rushing to the door, she hurried up to

She tensed up at the news and willed herself not to cry

Almost vomited, actually

Quickly hid away from the others

She barely came out of her room beforehand, but now it was like she didn’t even exist

Makes paintings and sculptures of Suki

She wasn’t there for Katsumi’s scare, but she hears about it

In the middle of the night, she sneaks upstairs to check on her but would never admit it

Leaves a sketch of Suki on Katsumi’s pillow

Drowns herself in her work to avoid her emotions

ASPEN:

Like Rika, they was filming a video when they heard it

They knew it was Katsumi and immediately ran towards the source of the sound

Kneeling down on the other side of Katsumi, they were struck into a quiet shock at the news

Afterwards, they were angry

They demanded to know what happened, who did it

Nearly got arrested for threatening the officers

Had to be dragged away

Since Aspen’s room is right next to Katsumi’s, they’d definitely hear her crying every night

Most nights were spent with them leaning against the wall, trying to gain the courage to go and comfort her

Once they did, they were scared to see her missing

Ran around frantically looking for her

Noticed her running down the streets and B O O K E D it

They basically knew exactly what she was going for and was like

“Fuck no”

Tackled that hoe

After getting her home, they either stayed in her room all the time or forced her to stay in their room

Has gotten into plenty of sobbing/screaming matches with Katsumi over this

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LET ME GO?!”

“BECAUSE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, WE NEED YOU. I NEED YOU.”

POLLY:

Was just coming back from the store when the news was delivered

He was confused to see the cop car outside of the house

After hearing the scream, he tripped and stumbled out of his car towards the porch

He thought someone was being murd- Hahaaaa

Was the one to pull Aspen back into the house

Checked in on Katsumi a LOT

Every now and then, he’d go into Suki’s room and sigh heavily

Nothing was touched

Toys still littered the floor

The bed was still unmade

He thought it would be a good thing to clean it up

Katsumi ended up screaming at him for it, cursing him for touching her things

He didn’t get mad or blame her though

That was her sister

He let her hit at his chest before she broke down in his grip

After the scar he refused to sleep

Chugged coffee to stay away and watch over her

Much like Aspen, he was in her room a lot

Mourned quietly and alone whenever he decided to give Katsumi space

Definitely gets a pink bunny in memory of Suki

[a-pitifulchild]

Wow - Robert Manion x reader

Request: Hi, so my idea for the Robert Manion x reader thing is...Okay, so let's pretend that TGWDLM just got out onto YouTube and Lauren is throwing this party where everyone in the cast can come and they all watch it together. Y/n has been dating Robert since Twisted and when you guys and the rest of the cast watch it for the first time he only looks at y/n on the screen and talking about how talented y/n is and all that jazz. (Even though I love Mariah let's pretend y/n has Mariah's parts instead) @taylor-manion

A/n: so i tried, but it has been such a long time since the last time i wrote! Hopefully it's good and not shitty idk. Also like. My english is not perfect, since it not my native language.

You sat on the couch, waiting for Robert to get out of the bathroom. “Lucky wee?” You asked him as he reached to his coat and keys. He rolled his eyes and smiled, “i have you, so it's clearly working”. Now it was your turn to roll your eyes, though you couldn't but smile as well. Robert tossed you your coat. You let out a small sigh and got up, putting on your coat. You loved your Starkid family, but you loved the couch at the flat you shared with Robert just as much.

You've been dating Robert for the past five years. You met him through Twisted - you helped them with the costume change, mostly because being on the actual stage frightened you. Of course you got stuck with Robert and had to help him with his costume change, and ever since then you were together. When Rob heard you sing for the first time he was shocked. You never mentioned your secret dream of performing in musicals, but he wouldn't leave you alone after finding out how talented you were. He looked for any excuse to hear you sing, act and dance, if it was a Starkid sing along, rehearsing lines with you or asking for help with the choreography he had to get done. With his compliments, your confidence grew and although you were still kind of scared from the stage, you were more willing to actually perform. So of caurse, when Starkid reached out to him for “The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals”, he got you an audition as well, and next thing you know you were a part of the show.

The two of you arrived to Lauren's house. She was hosting a kind-of-party to celebrate the release of “The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals”. You were going to watch the musical, all the cast together. You got to be in the one they did for Twisted as Robert's date, but this time you were a part of the cast. It was exciting. Robert  grabbed your hand, and the two of you walked up the stairs and toward the door. “Are you nervous?” Robert asked. You nodded, blushing, “kind of” you admitted. “Well don't, you are amazing, and insanely photogenic, so i'm sure you're great” Robert said, moving his hand across your waist. You stopped in the Middle of the hall, and he pulled you into a hug. He kissed the top of your head and you wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling yourself up to kiss him. “You are the sweetest boyfriend ever, ya'know?” You said, and he gave you a knowing smirk. “oh, I know” he said, “but thank you”. You laughed, and grabbed his hand, dragging him toward the familiar dark brown wooden door. You reached your hand to knock, but the door opened before you had the chance. Lauren smiled at the two of you, “Hey guys!” She smiled, hugging you first and then Robert. “How did you-” you wandered loud, then realised she probably heard a guy with an australian accent and immediately knew it's Robert and you. She confirmed your suspect as the three of you got inside the apartment.

After about half an hour of talking and laughing, everyone got there, and you gathered in front of the tv. Lauren pressed play, and the musical started. Everyone started singing along with the video.

30 seconds in, and you saw yourself. Robert, who obviously set next to you with his hand wrapped around your shoulder seemed more excited than you were. He looked at you, smiling, and mouthed the words “look! it's you!”. You smiled back and rested your head on his shoulder. Then it was Robert's turn to be on screen, and you couldn't help but smile seeing your talented boyfriend doing what he loves. Then your first solo came. “Sh!” Robert said, and everyone went quiet  to hear your beautiful singing, even though it was not the most impressive vocals you had during the show. Everyone joined back in for “should we kill him?”, And then hysterically laughed, which led to the end of the sing along.your next solo came along, and even though it was just two lines, Robert tightened his hand around your shoulder, happy to see you perform, finally sharing your talent with the world and having a blast. “You are literally so amazing like, what the fuck? How?” he whispered. “Look who's talking” you replied, pointing at the screen with your chin and looking at Robert on the screen, who's solo was right after yours.

Then the part when you, or should you say Melissa, asks Paul if he'll come the Company trip came. “Man, (y/n), you really got that 'totally crushing’ look down” Jeff said. Robert looked anywhere but the screen. like Jeff said, you looked like your crushing on Paul, and he hated seeing you look at another man like that. “If i didn't know you and Robert are dating, i'd think-” Jeff kept talking, but stopped once he saw the death glare you gave him. You noticed what Jeff said made him uncomfortable. “Same way i looked at you during Twisted” you said, leaning into Robert's shoulder. You felt his hand stroking your hair. “And the way i look at you to this day” he said and kissed your head. “Shut up, love birds, we are trying to watch a musical here” Joey said. Everyone laughed, and the rest of the musical passed by pretty much quietly, up until “La-Dee-Da-Da-Day”.

Rob loved how you performed it, although the moment you grab jon's hand and the one you danced with Jeff made him kind of jealous since he only got to dance with you for a short time on “show me your hands”.

“Yes, hit that note, (y/n)!”Jon called after the line “on this la-dee-da-da-day“. He sat next to Jeff, who sat next to you, so he high-fived you over Jeff's head (which was kinda hard considering the fact Jeff is taller then you, but he bent down a little). “Your voice is so goddam good, have i ever told you that?” he added . He couldn't show his appreciation to your vocals on stage, so he took the opportunity to do it now. Robert smiled as you belted amazingly

“I am so proud of you, (n/n)” Robert said and took your hand with the hand that wasn't wrapped around your shoulder. He kissed your hand and held it close to his chest. He turned his head to you, leaning his forehead on yours and giving you a quick kiss as you sang “la-dee-da-da, la-dee-da-da, la-dee-da-da-day” in the background. “You know, Jon is right. Your voice is amazing, and you are an incredible performer” Robert said, “and i am the luckiest guy in the world for dating you”. he kept going with the compliments during the song, sometimes loud and proud of his girlfriend and sometimes he just whispered “wow”, so only you heard him.

Some Laughing, “wow”s from Robert every time you appeared on screen and one “literally the most talented human ever is my girlfriend!” after “Cup Of Poisoned Coffee” later, your solo song arrived. Sure, you sang most of “La-Dee-Da-Da-Day”, you did an amazing job at it and stole the show, but in “Not Your Seed” you sang all of it, and it was your time to shine. It was obvious it was your favorite part of the show - the song had everything: different emotions, fun riffs and belting - plus a great choreography. You loved this song so much, and you performed it amazingly as well. If anyone still had doubts regarding how talented is the new girl, that song made those vanish.

As you started singing, Robert's eyes went back and forth between you on-screen and the you next to him. It's like he couldn't believe someone as talented as you is dating him. You didn't even notice the way he looked at you, so proud and happy. He loved you so much, and having you there, at his side, both of you happy and doing what you love just made him feel such pure happiness.

“Love, you are so good at everything” he whispered at the end of the song. You smiled at his words. He rarely ever used these type of nicknames - “love”, “babe”, “honey”. They were “too jenerick” according to him. He wanted something special for you, but sometimes no other word could describe better what you are to him. “Thank you, Rob, love” you replied, wrapping your hands around him. He hugged you back, pulling you closer and kissing you.

“is this even legal??” Joey said. You stuck your tongue at his reaction. It was a joke by this point, ever since you and Robert kissed before a show, already in your first costumes, which belonged to characters with quite the age gap. Joey had to make a reference to the infamous vine, which then led to recreating it and making that joke way too often.

Everyone clapped as Lauren screamed her lungs out. “Amazing! Each and every one of you is lure talent, and I had so much fun working with you guys!” Brian said after he got up from his spot on the couch. Everyone clapped at the short speech, that was somehow moving. “Well, Brian, may i-?” Corey asked, and after Brian nodded, he got up and stood in front of us. “Well, this is the end of a great production, and i've prepared a little something for the occasion” he said, trying to impersonate Rob's Professor Hidgens voice. Everyone laughed and clapped at the reference. “Damn, you should have played the role!” Robert called. “Well, i doubt i can do it better than you Robert” Corey said as he plugged a usb to the computer. Few seconds later, a video from behind the scenes was played. The vine recreation was one of the many iconic things that were a part of the video.

The time passed by, and eventually you and Robert went back home. You were so relieved to finally take the makeup off and get into more comfortable clothes. Finally, you were in bed next to your one and only. He wrapped his hands around you, pulling you into the cuddle you waited for ever since the two of you got home. “I love you, (y/n), more than anything. You are literally amazing, and so talented, i honestly wonder how come you never did anything like that before. You are so, so gifted it's just-” he said softly, tightening his hug and kissing the back of your head. “I love you too,  you talented... human” you said, closing your eyes. You heard his quiet laugh. “Goodnight, (n/n)” he said, but you were already asleep. “I'm gonna marry someday, i swear” he whispered. “Goodnight, love” you muttered. Apparently you were not as asleep as he thought.

[canaryatlaw]

okay, so. most of the day was fairly boring lol as expected but tonight of course was super awesome. I had set a 1 pm wake up if you’re not already awake alarm but I ended up waking up to my phone buzzing right at 11 am, it was a Chicago number so I answered and chatted with this guy from this legal company that does boring shit like document review and is doing like part time temporary hiring projects, which would obviously be a short term fix as I’m still looking for full time employment, but they pay like $20 an hour (and you don’t technically have to be licensed for some of their stuff, so being that I am licensed I miiiiiight get to do some more intense stuff for more pay? Idk, have to see) so I have an 11 am Skype interview scheduled with them for tomorrow morning to chat about that stuff. I’m obviously not like dying to get this job or anything but it’d be nice to have some income while I’m still looking, like if I did like 15-20 hours a week that’s $300-$400 so that’s not insignificant. I’m just gonna be super upfront with them about the fact that I’m seeking permanent employment and if I start anything with them there is a solid chance I will up and leave with fairly short notice, and if they’re not okay with that then we won’t do it, but I get the feeling since a lot of their shit is short term they’ll probably be okay with it. So after I got off that phone call I looked up the number for Ulta and called them to push back my haircut appointment which was booked for 12, I was trying to do think if there was somewhere I could plant myself downtown and do a Skype interview to then just run to the appointment but I obviously don’t want to do like, starbucks, and beyond trying to sneak into my old student org office at school (that’s no longer mine obviously) there’s not very many options, so I was hoping we could just push the haircut back a bit till like 2 and she happened to have an opening then so that was perfect because she gets booked up fairly consistently, so I lucked out there. After that I was lazy and went on my phone for a bit before getting up and going on my laptop at the kitchen table while I ate breakfast and then eventually moved over to the couch and was just listening to podcasts while on my computer for a while, then ended up watching the pilot of the new amazon prime show “Hanna” that’s not actually premiering to March but they were making the pilot available for like 24 hours after the superbowl for some reason and I was fairly intrigued by that (I never did actually see the movie its based on) and it was okay I guess? I wasn’t like super enthralled in it but I may give it a try for a few episodes when it comes out. The main actress is pretty good, but she’s a lot older than I thought she was (she actually turns 19 like, today) when I thought she was more like 13 or 14. and she’s apparently not been in much of anything up to this point, so good for her. After that I just turned the tv off and listened to more Panic music since I downloaded a bunch last night on top of what I downloaded after the concert last week so I could be more familiar with that while doing some computer stuff and trying to get some more Batwoman comic reading done. I was trying to see what they had on DC Universe before switching over to Comixology (which I have to pay for) but they only have issues 1-12 of her new 52 run which is apparently significantly longer than that and I burned through those very quickly, and the other ones on there are basically just one-off appearances in a random Batman story. So I guess I’ll read those then see what I can get on Comixology (they apparently have a subscription thing now which may be more affordable than paying for each comic, I’ll have to see what’s the deal with that). Around 4:30 I started getting ready, tried to do my make up very carefully and ended up trying to use my liquid eyeliner on my bottom lid which I normally don’t do but I like accidentally got some on there when trying to get it on my top lid (not sure how I managed to do that) and wanted to see if I could do the rest. It turned out pretty good in the immediate aftermath at least, but when I got home it had migrated down my face a good bit which is basically my biggest pet peeve with black eyeliner so I probably won’t be doing that again (I’m gonna see if I can find a better one at Ulta/Sephora tomorrow, since I’ll be at the Ulta and there’s a Sephora down the street and I want to find something that’s a Sephora brand product. There’s apparently also a Sally’s around there which I may also hit up for some hair dyeing supplies). But I finished getting ready and got on the bus at like 5:30 to meet Jess at her work so we could go straight to the concert from there, I was supposed to get there slightly before she got off so she could use it as an excuse to leave but the bus was being uncooperative (as public transit often is) and I ended up not getting there until like right when she got off, but it wasn’t a big deal because we weren't really in a rush being that we knew Panic didn’t actually take the stage until like, 8:30 lol. We stopped at a mcdonalds drive thru on the way where we got twenty nuggets, two cokes, and a medium fries (it’s always a debate about how many nuggets to get, because Jess is like “but I want more than 10″ when we’re splitting 20 but it’s more expensive to order 30 nuggets than it would be to order 40 nuggets and that’s just way too many (we did try that once) so I was saying we could do a 20 and a 6 piece but ended up just going with the 20 for us to split. Drove the rest of the way out, the concert was out by the airport which is a bit of a hike but we’re used to going there because most Chicago cons are in a venue that’s right by there. There was fairly massive traffic getting into the venue, and we had some momentary panic (no pun intended) regarding paying for parking because we didn't have any cash and didn’t know if they’d take card, but luckily they did so that crisis was averted. of course it’s bullshit that they’re charging $25 to just park in their giant ass parking lot, but that’s life for ya. Once we parked we had to kinda run to the venue because it was cold and we were both bumming it without our regular coats (I had a leather jacket on) so we were happy when we got in there. Got in without issue, climbed up the stairs to the top level of course and found our seats. We were literally like, the furthest section back on the side before the other seats just weren’t sold because you couldn’t be able to see (the other half of our section was actually closed off) but despite that we actually had a fairly good view and could see most of everything, just mostly from a side view and sometimes the back, lol. I was pumped though because I spent like all of last week wishing I could relive the concert and now I was getting to do that, so I was very excited. The new perspective was interesting, we got to see things from different angles which was interesting, like him popping up onto the stage when he first came out and just jumps up so it looks like he just gets shot out at fairly high speed lol. The set list was the same of course, except I’ve been listening to the music all week and actually knew the vast majority of the songs this time and could sing along, so I felt accomplished for that. I did manage to take a good amount of videos that I posted all on my instagram story if you want to check those out (@ racheleiley) and this time I didn’t ugly sing while recording lol so they’re better quality than the ones from last week. But yeah it was really good, I still got super anxious and cringey when he was on the floating piano above the crowd and very clearly not strapped into anything and like, going to the edge of the platform and I like, couldn’t watch because it stressed me out too much lol but thankfully he made it back okay. When Girls/Girls/Boys came on we hadn’t gotten the little paper colored hearts to put over our cell phone lights this time because we were in the reject section that was mostly empty, but it was still enjoyable and he definitely had no less than 10 pride flags thrown onstage at him during it which he picked every single one up and draped them over him and he was like “this is a record” which was great. But yeah, I really enjoyed all of it. When he came back out for the encore someone threw a little teddy bear onstage and he was like “aw, this is the cutest teddy bear, I’m keeping this” and put it in his back pocket as he kept performing and it was really fucking cute lol. He must be in really good shape to be doing this sometimes multiple times a week because it’s so much energy expended and his voice is so strong to be able to handle it (makes sense that he did a stint on Broadway). But yeah, I enjoyed it a lot and got much better videos this time so I’m pleased with that. Once it ended we managed to get out of the parking lot relatively quickly, definitely a lot quicker than we expected because we kinda cut around part of the line to get to the exit faster (sorry not sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️) and then made it the rest of the way home, and Jess made me walk back to my place from her apartment instead of dropping me off which she could’ve VERY EASILY done, but she was being a butt and trying to get payback because she always has to make the walk when we hang out at my place (which we do the vast majority of the time). So I walked home, thankfully it wasn’t too cold, and then spent a while uploading the videos to my instagram story because it was being uncooperative while at the concert so I had to do them all after. My roommate got home shortly after I did and somehow managed to leave her keys in the front door, but now our front door wouldn’t unlock, so she was gonna go around the back to get to the front and asked if I had my front door key, which I thought she meant the front door to our apartment, so I gave her that she disappeared. Not long after I could hear someone calling my name so I went to the front door and was like ??? yes??? but she wasn’t at the door and I was thoroughly confused as to where she could be until it occurred to me that maybe she was locked outside, so I went down the backstairs to the back door where she was in fact stuck, we had a slight miscommunication on the key situation and she couldn’t get the front door of the building to open because I gave her the wrong key, whoops, but we got it figured out and fixed the door situation so that was good. After that was settled I got in the shower and started getting ready for bed and now I am here. I’ve been writing this post for about 40 minutes and it’s now 2 am, I have to get up at at least 10:30 tomorrow to make sure I’m presentable for the Skype interview so I think I should get to bed now. Goodnight loves. Have a lovely Tuesday.

[silhouetted-beauty]

My BTS Concert Experiences!!🎇🎆

Hello fellow readers! I just wanted to shared my concert experiences as well as my favorite highlights of the night. I ended up going to both Chicago concerts (Oct. 02/03) and let me just say... IT WAS LIT!!! The boys really put on a show and all their hard work definitely was shown. FYI: This post will be LONG so I will install a ‘keep reading’ tab.

But anyways, let me start off saying how I was a nervous wreck knowing I was going both days because I didn’t know what to expect. This was my first BTS concert and I’ve been dying (not literally lol) to see them since 2015. I pretty much followed other people’s experiences from earlier tour dates and went off that and honestly, it didn’t help. It ended up kicking my anxiety into overdrive because lot of people were talking about post concert depression lol. In my mind, I was thinking, “holy shit! If they are THAT good live, would I even be able to walk out of the arena with a sane mind?!” To put it short, I was spooked. Even as I type this out, my hands are shaking lol. Oh! and excuse my crappy video footage, I was kinda zoned out watching them, people were knocking into me, and I was low key dancing lol

October 2nd...

-The Merchandise-

Thanks to my bf (you know who you are HOE!!!😂😂), she had bought us both tickets for this day as a birthday present to me. Since she bought tickets, I felt the least I could do was buy us merch. So I arrived that morning at the venue only to find the line for merchandise wrapped around two corners. So I began the dreadful task of waiting in line. Thankfully, I met two other girls who I quickly connected with and made the process, somehow, quicker. The line moved faster then I thought but as we gotten closer, we noticed items were selling out due to people buying bags of shit! The ‘Love Yourself’ shirts, both white and black, were the first to sell out. I was in shock because that was the shirt I was getting us so I had to call her up and decide on either another shirt or another item. Thankfully, none of the other merch I wanted sold out so I was able to purchase what we wanted without any problems. So in total, I was in line at 9:40 and didn’t leave until 12:50. My advice to anyone trying to get merch for a concert... order online! I believe it’s more convenient, especially if you may not have the time to wait in line. Preordering or ordering ahead of time is definitely less stressful.

-The Concert-

After I left merch met up with my best friend and we went back to my place to get ready. Lol I’m gonna be honest and say that even though I was going to see BTS, the main highlight of the day was my blue hair. I had recently dyed it and was ready to show it off. Thanks to her, I ended up wearing a pink dress, my black leather jacket, and black Killstar ‘vendetta’ boots, which I bought specifically for the concert for the next day. We kept cracking jokes because it looked like I was dressed to “kick somebody’s ass” (her words not mines😂😂).

So we get to the arena, paid for parking, then waited in line, which was pretty short. Our seats were in section 103 and we had the perfect view of the stage and audience. While we waited in our seats, my best friend turns to me and suggests we get some drinks lol (Note: I’m starting to believe that is the norm when we go to concerts). Hell! I was down for drinking but then I remembered how I didn’t eat all day so I was worried about getting drunk especially since we were drinking Bacardi rum. It wasn’t that I intentionally didn’t eat, I was just too hyped to do so. BONUS!! We both thought I’d be the one to cry since I’m the bigger fan than she is but guess what? Yo gurl held strong!😆 In fact, SHE was the one who cried and I’m never letting her forget it. Lmao! Anyways we were drinking, cracking jokes, sitting back and looking pretty while waiting on the show to start. And when it did... when it did... it was a fucking PARTY!!!!

We stood the entire time, and I basically sang/screamed my heart out. Made sure to capture her on video while ‘Singularity’ played because that is her shit lol (Great job, Tae!😘). They performed Setlist A (I believe) which was LIT. We danced to every song. I REALLY loved the vcr footages as they changed for the next song. It was really unique and some were playful, sexy, and bold. But as the concert came to an end, each member said a solo goodbye. All of them were nice especially considering how they tried to speak English to the best of their ability. What they couldn’t say, they spoke in Korean and the translator did a great job relaying the message. The speech I remembered the most was Yoongi’s because I low key feel like he tried to go in on us. Like tried to straight clown us lol. Here’s what I mean...

Yoongi: “I have one question.”

Us: *screams* “yes” or “what”

Yoongi: “this is Chicago. The Windy City, right?”

At this point, I’m thinking what is he getting at?

Us: “Yes.”

Yoongi: “Then why is it so hot?”

...

...

...

My reaction:

Anyways, It was so beautiful! Seeing all of the lights from the lightsticks and seeing people bond together; no wonder the boys get all teary eyed at each concert. It really is a beautiful sight. Later on, we left the arena at around 11:00, kinda danced to the street drummers before headed back to the car. As we drove away, I felt this overwhelming sense of calming sadness. You know, when you go out and have fun, literally the time of your life, you don’t want that feeling to end but you know it has to. It felt weird and we ended up having like this deep conversation, it was mostly me rambling lol.

October 3rd...

-Earlier in the day-

I woke up, quickly showered and got dressed because I knew I was going to be at the arena all day because I had GA standing...

Quick note, I did give my Uber driver a lesson on BTS and his reactions were priceless especially when I informed him of all their hard work and achievements. It was full of “shit!”’s And “aw damn!”’s Because he couldn’t believe it lol. The more I thought about it, the more I smiled to myself. I felt proud for stanning such an amazing group.😭😭

Anyways, I made it back up to the arena at around 9:40 and this time I had to stand in the GA line, which also wrapped around two corners. Fucking A!!!! It didn’t seem like it was that many people and I guess my number would be between 500-700 but I was hella wrong because I was number 1,019 in line by the time I got my wristband. Lmao! FUCK!

I was supposed to meet up with people I had met the previous day but didn’t and it was all good because I met people not only in line but also once I gotten my wristband. Shoutout to y’all! ✌🏾✌🏾

Crazy enough, there was someone in line who gave away two extra GA tickets for free! I should have taken it and gave it away to one of the girls I met who didn’t have a ticket. (My first regret of the day).

While waiting until lineup time, which was at 4, I hung out with two other girls who were really sweet and kind, SUPER funny, and multi fandom. They shared concert experiences and are even planning on traveling to New York for their final U.S tour date. If one of you see this post, HAVE FUN, GURLS! I HOPED Y’ALL TURNED THE FUCK UP!!! ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾

The weather was beautiful. It was around 86/87 and the WIND WAS BLOWING! WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU, MIN YOONGI?! WAS IT STILL HOT THEN?! (Actually it was but at least we had a breeze, which technically was blowing everyone and everything away lmao.)

We even spotted video crew, interviewing fans about an upcoming “documentary”. 😏🤫 I have my own theory as to what this footage is going to be used for and I’m gonna wait until it drops to prove it. Word on the street, they were asking the arena staff members for more people to interview.😁

I met a lot of people and it brought me so much joy hearing how excited they were especially if it was their first time seeing them. I ended up waiting inside the arena while charging a friend’s phone and we heard BTS rehearsing! We assumed it was soundcheck but it wasn’t because the soundcheck line was still outside so that was a bonus. We even kept spotting BTS crew members walking in and out of the area where they were singing😫.

-The Concert-

When the time came, I had to get back in line in the order of the wristband to enter inside the arena. Idk if this applies at future concerts but if you get a large number, don’t assume you will get in line to enter the arena early. Security was strict to tell people to either get in their numerical spots or go to the end of the line. I was told this was because of the Wings Concert lineup was a mess last year so they’re trying to be fair and restore order. We lined up at about 4/4:30 but the doors didn’t open until 5:30 (at least for us, i think). We all tried to keep ourselves busy while we waited and everyone at least got some free shit in the process. Someone handed me Hoseok photo cards of him and his hands.😁

I had my boots in hand because I wasn’t gonna put those bad boys on and have my feet hurting all day (good thing too because I didn’t get into the arena until 6:40). In fact, I planned on putting them on just before going inside because I wanted to annoy security and set off the metal detectors like I did the previous day. It brought my trifling ass great joy watching three officers trying to figure out what it was until I told them it was the boots, thus them giving me the name “boots”. Lmao!

They scanned my ticket, gave me another wristband, and I entered into the arena listening to thousands of fans scream and cheer for our boys. It was really a sight. Turns out, despite my number being so high, I was still pretty close to the end of the stage. But the bad part was that, while standing there, my feet were starting to hurt. On top of that, people started fainting left and right and the concert didn’t even start. I was beginning to worry because being in GA isn’t ideal as people think. You are jam packed in a crowd. It’s hot, people are screaming, some are angry, you will get shoved and pushed around; all while trying to get closer to stage.

But once the lights went out and the opening started, everything turned around. Some of my time was spent trying to free up storage on my phone which I hated😤😤. My phone made my videos appear farther than what it actually was. Thanks Apple.

OH! Let me just warn you guys! Even though we watch them on our phones, televisions, and computers; nothing compares to seeing them up close and personal. I was shock to how close I was to them and couldn’t help up stare up at them with my mouth open. THEY ARE BREATHTAKING!! But the two members who really caught my eye were Namjoon and Hoseok! FUCK! They look 1000 times better in person. I couldn’t even think for a period of time. I kinda zoned out lol. Yoongi mostly stayed over by our side of the stage with his fine ass which was fine by me and Tae, Jungkook, Jimin and Jin!... my god! They all look so good!😩😩😩

You know, I’m not a fan of musicians jumping into the crowd of audience members. But after that night, I was counting on them to. Lmao! In fact, I’m disappointed that they didn’t.🤣😂🤣😂 jk... maybe😏

The boys performed effortlessly and PUT ON A SHOW (*hinting at all the other fan videos lol*). The solos, rap line, and vocal line performances were, hands down, memorable. I loved for Trivia: Love, Namjoon brought the other members back out to dance with him.😍😍 This time go round, they performed Setlist B! So you know what this means?! They performed bapsae and YALL KNOW I HAD TO GET IT ON VIDEO!!!!

And of course, the moment everyone dreaded... the ending.

*Sigh* it was an amazing experience overall and I was glad I was able to experience it. It gave me insight on what to do differently and plan for next time; and they did said that they would come back next year and I plan on holding them to that lol.

Message to the boys:

I want to say thank you. Thank you for being who you are and being open to sharing a part of your life with us. I know being an idol, especially international superstars, is difficult at times but you guys never complain. In fact, you push through and your determination is front and center. Even while you performed both days, I couldn’t help but take the time to look around at all the people you’ve brought together. People from all walks of life, different cultural backgrounds, people of different age groups; all brought together because of you. Together we are here to support you! “We are the same.” Thank you! And thank you for the experience! I am thankful and grateful I was able to see the love a group shares with their fandom. Keep up the great work and I look forward to your return and seeing you all again. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💜💜💜💜

[wydallen]

jack does a task! // 001.

— && GENERAL INFORMATION

Full name: jackson grant allen. ( did i name him after my two favorite superheros aka barry allen and steve rogers? maybe. )

Nickname(s) or alias: jack, jay, allen, anything tbh.

Current age: idk about you but he’s feelin’ 22.

Astrological sign: pisces.

Gender: cis male.

Preferred pronouns: he/him/his.

Sexual preference: lowkey closeted bisexual. only his close friends and family know.

Language(s) spoken: english, some german from high school.

— && PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6′2.

Weight: 180 lbs.

Shoe size: 11.

Glasses? Contacts?: contacts but he prefers to wear glasses.

Tattoos: a few.

Piercings: his ears from when he was younger.

Birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: scar on his cheek.

Dominant hand: right.

If painted, what color are their nails/toenails?: n/a.

Usual style of clothing: pair of jeans, t shirt, and vans. here’s a pinterest board of the style he wears.

Frequently worn jewelry: some rings and a necklace.

Describe their voice, what accent?: he has an american accent. he doesn’t really think he has a midwest accent. his voice isn’t the deepest but it’s a nice tone.

What is their speaking style (fast, monotone, loquacious)? fast, usually. he talks a lot and if you don’t stop him, he’ll go a long time.

Describe their posture: he should probably go to yoga classes because he hunches his back a lot.

— && LEGAL INFORMATION

Any speeding tickets?: no, he’s a good boy.

Have they ever been arrested?: no.

Do they have a criminal record?: no. 

Have they committed any violent crimes?: no.

Do they have a passport? If so, where have they been?: he does! he’s only ever really been to los angeles. he’d love to go to new york or london or paris sometime.

— && PERSONALITY

Direct quote from them: “if meghan trainor ever threatens to release new music i have to go into hiding.”

Likes: books, chocolate, cuddling, card games, homemade meals, buzzfeed quizzes, dancing, a nice pair of jeans, a clean shaven face, working with his hands, hats, burritos, laughing, late nights, ice hockey, taking the train, swimming, people watching, bonfires, the great outdoors, true crime novels, “chick” flicks ( he won’t own up to it though ), camping, dogs, cats, animals in general, working out, getting tattooed, the smell of clean laundry, long showers, playing the piano, taking instagram pictures, alternative music, freshly baked bread, apple juice, french fries, snow, star gazing, listening to music on vinyl, stickers, cuddling while listening to the rain, the holiday season, barbecue, netflix binge sessions.

Dislikes: thunderstorms, sleeping alone, driving in big cities, carrots, mosquitoes, bees, boring movies, diet sodas, wasting food, “adulting” ( taxes, seeing lawyers, etc. ), thieves, pineapple on pizza, early mornings, when people take up two parking spots at once, spiders, people who are rude to service staff, political discussions, peanut butter, people who don’t use their turn signals, cold showers, humidity, toxic masculinity, small spaces, feeling defeated, being alone, liars, those aspca commercials, being questioned, loud noises ( mostly from thunder or fireworks ), overpowering fragrances, most fast food restaurants ( minus mcdonalds ofc ), out of tune instruments, his car breaking down, youtube ads, being barefoot, tea, awkward situations, feeling bored, any sense of responsibility.

Insecurities: i don’t know if he has any insecurities but he really doesn’t like his eyes. he hates that no one ever glorifies having brown eyes and sometimes wears contacts to make his eyes blue or green.

Fears/phobias: being in a hospital, elevators, being alone for the rest of his life, death, dying in a natural disaster, injuring his face, losing one of his family members.

Habits: chewing gum when he’s nervous, messing with his hair, rubbing the back of his neck.

Hobbies: gardening, playing the guitar, eating junk food.

Guilty pleasure: rom-coms from the hallmark channel.

Secrets: he doesn’t really have any, really. he’s mostly an open book.

Turn ons/offs:

turn ons: humor, security, understanding, faithfulness, communication skills, charisma, confidence, big smiles, food lover, nice hair, smooth skin, being a little rough, good banter, confidence, being verbal or loud during sex, good with kids, people who can provide him with pizza, being called daddy.

turn offs: bad teeth, body odor, dirty surroundings, the sound of somebody chewing, unnecessary rudeness, judgmental, indecisiveness ( lol hypocrite ), lack of commitment, smoking, pessimism, picky eaters, religious, lack of humor, bossiness, strong perfume, coldness, secrecy, constant negativity, racists, sexists, homophobes – the whole cream of that crop.

Lucky number: number four.

Pet peeves: people who chew with their mouth open, people with poor manners.

Dark version of themselves: he can have a huge temper if something makes him super, super upset. he’s known to have punch a few holes in walls or scream so loud that he loses it. 

Light version of themselves: he’s literally a human golden retriever. he just loves people and being with them. he can throw a million dad jokes in a matter of seconds and he enjoys making people happy, no matter what it takes.

How do they react to a proposal of marriage?: i think he’d be very flattered but he’d prefer to be the one to propose.

How do they react to the death of a loved one?: if it was someone who was in his immediate family, i think he’d be devastated. he’d probably eat and drink a lot. 

How do they react to something irresistibly cute?: he’d go into one of those smiles where it takes up his entire faces and it’d make his face hurt.

— && FAVORITES

Food: french fries.

Least favorite food: carrots.

Drink: dr. pepper.

Least favorite drink: any kind of tea.

Fast food restaurant: mcdonald’s.

Word: serendipity.

Color: blue.

Candle scent: sparkling cinnamon.

Store: target.

Instrument: guitar. 

Occupation: landscaper.

Animal: cats.

Holiday: thanksgiving bc food.

Season: fall.

Artist: ed sheeran.

Band/group: the arctic monkeys.

Song: gravity -- john mayer.

Movie/film: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, lost in translation.

TV show: supernatural. 

Sport: hockey, baseball.

School subject: social studies.

Number: thirteen.

Emoji: 🤠

— && SKILLS

Talents: he can sing superlatively well.

Ability to drive stick? no. 

Can they ride a bike?: yes.

Do they play any sports?: he likes to play hockey and soccer.

Anything they’re bad at?: doing laundry, diy projects, and going clothes shopping.

— && FIRSTS

Childhood memory: helping his dad fix something in the family car when he was six would most likely be his first childhood memory.

Crush: his first crush was a girl named janette. the first time he ever met her, she knocked his sandwich off his desk and made him eat it anywaya. ever since that, he was in love with her for basically all of first grade. after that, he just kept getting crushes on girls who treated him like absolute shit. and even now, he still develops feelings for someone really quickly, and it’s a blessing and a curse. 

Email address: jack553@yahoo.com

Job: starbucks.

Kiss: he doesn’t remember it that well, tbh.

Love: britney spears in the baby one more time video.

— && MISCELLANEOUS

Do they have a fake I.D.?: no.

Are they a virgin?: no.

How long would they survive in a zombie apocalypse?: probably a few weeks before accidentally getting killed. 

Do they travel?:  if he can afford it.

Celebrity crush: gabrielle union.

Place(s) they can always be found: in his apartment, at the park, or at a blackhawks game.

When do they like to wake up?: typically around noon, if he can. 

What do they wear to bed?: shorts.

Do they smoke/drink/drugs?: no / yes / no.

Do they snore? yes, although, he’ll claim he doesn’t.

Do they chew their pens/pencils?: no. 

Do they believe in the supernatural?: yes, very much so.

Have they ever cheated on anyone?: never.

Have they ever been cheated on?: he hopes not!

Has anyone ever broken their heart?: yes.

Are they squeamish?: around blood, yes.

Are they a lightweight?: no.

Type of kisser: soft and gentle.

Do they want kids?: yes.

Do they want to get married?: yes.

How are they in bed?: he likes to think he’s good but he can’t really tell.

Would they marry for money?: yes, if it’d make him a billionaire.

Opinion on sex: he likes it. a lot. 

Favorite position: he sounds so boring but missionary. 

What is their dream date?: a walk around the city at night, just getting to know them.

[damnnjoon]

100 reasons to love Haechan

his voice is so sweet oh my god

how he has two sides to him and they’re both so Good (joking prankster vs super caring member)

he’s so witty?? my quick boy

king of concepts like he can pull off literally everything

how proud he is of his skin like!!!! he’s glowing and he k n o w s

idk if it’s talked about often but you can tell how much he loves dancing honestly and i love it a lot

his english when he sings or speaks in english

yaja time!haechan

his performance face vs his general resting face/demeanor are worlds apart and i love it so much

HAECHAN SORRY SORRY FANCAM

his neck mole is so cute... 

...and the scar above his right eye, too

all of his moles actually they’re beautiful

he’s proud of his legs and i’m glad like!! he’s so body positive about himself it makes my heart happy

nct’s main visual

sherlock!haechan was legendary 

when they surprised jisung for his birthday and he started crying and haechan and mark immediately went to him to cheer him up..i think about that everyday

the time on mySMT when they all had to smile and he looked at the camera and smiled SO WIDELY my heart was so full when i watched it

pianist!haechan he loves the instrument you can tell

the 19 second recording of baby don’t like it that he sang on NNN

his affinity for bucket hats. can he see with that over his eyes? probably not but it’s okay because we can see how good he looks

his freestyle in his boy video! look at my talented ult

that time on NCT life where he put salt into everyone’s sprite and i think soy sauce into everyone’s coke #prankd

when 127 was on nimdle and answering questions about each other and he asked the members if they knew what body part he’s proudest of and mark went “birdlike chest” or something along those lines and haechan made as if to punch him

he just really loves monster by exo

the almost tangible difference between nct dream haechan and nct 127 haechan

i love his given name btw, lee donghyuck is such a nice name too??

he’s so good at cooking 

mark changed his laugh after being around haechan so much that’s #bffgoals

that time he dressed up as a girl and ended up falling for yuta because..i

his general love for taeyong’s face. like taeyong’s his aesthetic

BOOMING SYSTEM U-UP, TY TRACK, TY TRACK

pink hair pink hair pink hair pink hair (we young) (it looks s o g o o d)

his role is moodmaker in dream and like!! he’s so proud of it i’m so glad

when they had that “All about Dream” special or whatever and he was sucking up to the teacher lol

he and jeno #prankd jisung by changing his ipad wallpaper to a cockroach #ripjisung2k17

his michael jackson impressions are actually LEGENDARY

his opening line in “heartbreaker” 

that one line in Back 2 U that saved literally everyone’s lives (the one after doyoung’s towards the end of the song)

king of 127′s backing vocals. listen to baby don’t like it stripped down. you will cry

his solo dance in cherry bomb

that one time he #prankd mark by acting like seulgi during the smrookies period

i really like listening to him just speak btw like his voice in general is kind of teasing and just nice i really love it a lot

idk if ive mentioned it but his laugh also just!!! pure!!!

king of girl group choreo...king of boy group choreo...king of choreo

“gimme that gimme that ice cream” 

used to mess with his grandma’s makeup when he was younger 

honestly just all of nct life in paju because haechan was so iconic in it like that soccer game oh my god and not to mention snack time and his failed karaoke that was so bad they never showed it and his god tier breakfast the last morning like wow

when he and mark missed that nct life entertainment retreat because of schedules and chenle and jisung roasted them and haechan was like “when i get back you’re dead”

his high note after mark’s “show them how we do it” in playboy

haechan in headbands is a Look

that one meme video with chenle, jeno, haechan, and that stick (i never found subs so i don’t...know what happened in that video)

haechan looks really good in button down shirts...he’s unreal...born to be famous

the harper’s bazaar shoot

him and mark’s handshake has stayed the extra same in all aspects (include level of extraness <3) since predebut days

“swag”

KING OF WEARING CONTACTS

he’s the entire universe in himself - his eyes sparkle like a thousand stars and looking at him is like looking straight at the sun and just wow

whenever he tries to keep his laughter in he makes The Face and i love it

when performing live he sounds like he ate the record for breakfast he’s that good

he lisps and it’s the best thing to happen to me

the ivy club photoshoot. just.

he pulls off like.. everything from like massive sweaters and denim shorts to full like blazer/slacks/dress shirt like...wow

airport fashion on point

bought a radio because jaehyun and johnny host a radio show

HAECHAN FOR SUPERCOMMA B

haechan + confetti = name a more iconic duo

the shape of his lips is so nice?? wow

his nose too!!! perfect

his teeth are like perfect too like so..nice looking idk

that time where he gave no fucks and took off the heavy ass jacket and threw it to the side during that performance of cherry bomb because he knows what’s Good For Him

the taste the feeling cf 

the camera Look with The Eyebrows

that iconic duet with guitarist!jeno of love yourself by justin bieber

that expression/laugh he did that time he was going to do scissors during That Move in MFAL so he could win against mark but jisung thwarted his plans and mark played rock and haechan got roasted af onstage

i know ive mentioned his dancing before but hes SO SMOOTh his moves are EFFORTLESS

he looks A1 in denim jackets

when he acts cute to get what he wants

looks so excited and happy at fanmeets

apparently he’s really touchy with the members and stuff that’s adorable

never shows how sensitive he can be and tries to make everyone laugh

his head tilt!! you know the one

when he tries to get other members to talk on air (especially with the dreamies)

is a member of the powerful af SM ‘00 line

when nct dream tried to do that let’s dance and haechan kept messing them up because he wanted to dance to the other groups

when he pretended to be a mime

he danced to russian roulette and it was absolutely amazing

his resting face is kind of “bored looking” so when he goes from resting to being really engaged it’s like a flipped switch i love it so much

the cover of billionaire he and mark did predebut

how he puts his hand on yuta’s shoulder to steady himself during the split move in cherry bomb

the way he looks in a basketball uniform (credit: @whoisyuta )

he puts his whole soul into his voice

his vocal range is ridiculously versatile

i love his wrists?? is it just me they’re so pretty maybe i’m going crazy lol but like watches and bracelets and stuff.nice

the cherry bomb outfit with the black sweater and camo pants and camo jacket tied at the waist he !! wow

when he wears glasses!!

hes so young and he still keeps up with all the 127 members and works hard with them and does 12 hour dance practices with them like what a legend

when his members do embarrassing things on air he buries his face in his hands out of secondhand embarrassment like...me too

king of promoting other sm groups

he just puts his all into everything and works so hard and deserves the world and!!!! wow just wow. an angel. an ethereal empyrean individual

[b0stonmanor]

since yall kept fuckin asking heres 1-155. Go ahead and see how fucking lame I actually am

1: Full name: Madison Lyn (I’m not putting my last name on the internet lmao)

2: Age:19

3: 3 Fears: heights, elevators, being alone for the rest of my life 

4: 3 things I love: cats, coffee, sleeping

5: 4 turns on: (I’m gonna make it nonsexual okay): body mods, humor, good vibes, nice laugh

6: 4 turns off: (gonna make these nonsexual too): rude, nasty, conceited, takes days to reply lmao

7: My best friend: girl: @bohoangel guy: @bostonnanner

8: Sexual orientation: pansexual

9: My best first date: haven’t had a best one yet, need someone to change that lmao

10: How tall am I: 5′8

11: What do I miss: lots of things and people both too many too name

12: What time was I born: 2:06am

13: Favourite color: blue

14: Do I have a crush: still crushin on my last man

15: Favourite quote: either some vine or “I’m here for a good time not a long time” I have way too many favs

16: Favourite place: my room, best friends house, or beach house

17: Favourite food: buffalo chicken or alfredo

18: Do I use sarcasm: of course not 

19: What am I listening to right now: music ;)

20: First thing I notice in new person: smile

21: Shoe size: no

22: Eye color: hazel

23: Hair color: naturally brunette currently red

24: Favourite style of clothing: gothic, pop punk or hippie/boho

25: Ever done a prank call?: I havent personally 

27: Meaning behind my URL: I needed to change my url of 8 years and I wanted something short and easy to remember but I also wanted it to be a band so it would fit my blog and surprisingly this one wasnt taken

28: Favourite movie: I have way too many 

29: Favourite song: again way too many

30: Favourite band: AGAIN way too many

31: How I feel right now: I feel fucking exhausted 

32: Someone I love: okay now Im sad 

33: My current relationship status: okay NOW Im crying but single

34: My relationship with my parents: welp my dads dead and my mom and I are okay

35: Favourite holiday: Halloween or Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: no tattoos yet and I have my nose pierced and first and second holes pierced on my ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: too many

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I was 12 that should be enough

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: No. In fact I could never hate him and I dont think I’ll love anyone like I did/do him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: eh sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? last text over imessage yes

42: When did I last hold hands?: I have no idea

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: I dont do anything really so not too long

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: dont out me

45: Where am I right now?: my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: @bohoangel

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: both

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: mom

49: Am I excited for anything?: nah

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? @bostonnanner

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: eh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I mean idc but it’d just be fucking weird cause they’re kissing in front of me 

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: plenty of people lmao

55: What is something I disliked about today?: I’ll do yesterday since today hasnt really happened. But it was fathers day and my heart was hurting so bad cause I miss my dad more than anything and really wish he was still here

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: my fuckin soulmate bitch

57: What do I think about most?: in all honesty, my ex

58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can do this smile thing that nobody else can do and it makes me look like a frog

59: Do I have any strange phobias?: probably

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: in front

61: What was the last lie I told?: that I was a child of God

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: video chatting but I dont mind either

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: fuck yes and fuck yes

64: Do I believe in magic?: I’m a god damn witch bitch

65: Do I believe in luck?: I believe in karma

66: What’s the weather like right now? according to my phone its currently clear and 61 degrees

67: What was the last book I’ve read?: I have no idea

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: eh

69: Do I have any nicknames? Maddie, Mad, Mads

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I had a staph infection in my foot that went back and forth across my foot and then up my leg (doctor said if my mom didn’t bring me when she did I would’ve died cause it would’ve gone to my heart)

71: Do I spend money or save it?: spend it 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? ye

74: Favourite animal?: cats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: I have no idea

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: oh shit I’ve never thought of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: good question

78: How can you win my heart?: Be Italian 

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I honestly have no idea

80: What is my favorite word? bitch

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I get asked this way too much

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: probably some hippie bullshit

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: I’ve had relatives in jail but I dont think anyones in jail rn

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? theres too many lmao

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? probably if I’ve smoked or drank or have done anything bad but only if my mom was asking

86: What is my current desktop picture? its just basic 

87: Had sex?: nah

88: Bought condoms?: nah

89: Gotten pregnant?: nah

90: Failed a class?: nah

91: Kissed a boy?: ye

92: Kissed a girl?: ye

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: nah

94: Had job?: ye

95: Left the house without my wallet?: ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?: nah

97: Had sex in public?: nah

98: Played on a sports team?: ye

99: Smoked weed?: ye

100: Did drugs?: nothing hardcore just smoking weed

101: Smoked cigarettes?: nah

102: Drank alcohol?: ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: I’ve tried

104: Been overweight?: no answer

105: Been underweight? also no answer

106: Been to a wedding?: ye

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: ye

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: ye

109: Been outside my home country?: nah

110: Gotten my heart broken?: of course

111: Been to a professional sports game?: ye

112: Broken a bone?: ye

113: Cut myself?: ye

114: Been to prom?: ye

115: Been in airplane?: ye

116: Fly by helicopter?: nah

117: What concerts have I been to?: pink, metallica/volbeat, warped tour 2016,2017,2018, jingle ball, some birthday bash, I cant remember if I’ve been to any other ones lmao

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: not entirely 

119: Learned another language?: not fully

120: Wore make up?: ye

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: I’m a child of god

122: Had oral sex?: nah

123: Dyed my hair?: ye

124: Voted in a presidential election?: not yet

125: Rode in an ambulance?: couldve a couple times but my parents decided to drive me

126: Had a surgery?: nah

127: Met someone famous?: I guess? 

128: Stalked someone on a social network?: who doesnt do this

129: Peed outside?: ye

130: Been fishing?: ye

131: Helped with charity?: I think so

132: Been rejected by a crush?: who doesnt get rejected

133: Broken a mirror?: probably

134: What do I want for birthday?: lots of things

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?: I have no idea

136: Was I named after anyone?: No but I have the same middle name as my aunt

137: Do I like my handwriting?: ye

138: What was my favorite toy as a child?: I have no idea

139: Favorite Tv Show?: American Horror Story, Bob’s Burgers, The Office, or Drunk History

140: Where do I want to live when older?: New Hampshire

141: Play any musical instrument?: I can play the violin and piano and can also sing but idk if that counts lmao

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?: its barely noticeable but literally right under my left eye (like right at the edge of my dark circle lmao) I got attacked by a dog and it bit me in the face and I had to get stitches but I bitched out and had it glued instead lmao

143: Favorite pizza topping? cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark?: depends where I am

145: Am I afraid of heights?: ye

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?:nah

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: haha yeah

148: What I’m really bad at: everything

149: What my greatest achievements are: I fucking graduated from high school. Like I would never wish what I went through on anyone ever not even my worst enemy. It was worse than hell

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I honestly dont remember 

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: lots of stuff

152: What do I like about myself: my eyebrows

153: My closest Tumblr friend: I cant say @bohoangel cause I’ve known her since 5th grade so I’ll say @bostonnanner even though we met on omegle years ago lmao

154: Something I fantasize about: lots of things

155: Any question you’d like?: literally whatever anyone wants to know

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #146

“peace sells, but who’s buying?”

Have you ever been arrested? For what?  No. Do you like Pres. Obama? Why?  Don't even fight me, dude was funny.  From a political position, I can't answer.  I didn't pay enough attention to form a well-supported opinion. Do you know how to change the oil in your car?  Nope. At what age did you obtain your driver license?  I don't have it yet, but I do expect to probably get it this year. Do you like Slim Jim’s?  g i m m e What are you favorite kind of chips?  Spicy Cheetos. Are there any plants in your house?  I think there's none... How important is it for you and your partner or friends to share a similar taste in music, movies, shows, etc?  Not very important at all. What sort of compliments make you feel the best?  Because I'm a self-conscious piece of shit, calling me pretty or something of the sort and actually sounding sincere can brighten my whole day.  Also just a compliment on my behavior means a lot. If you have a pet, do they sleep with you at night?  Roman does. <3  He sleeps on my hip, arm, or curled beside me. What is the climate and geography like where you live?  Usually warm, humid as fuck in the summer...  We live in a pretty flat area.  Farming terrain. Do you have a Facebook? If no, then why not?  Yeah. Has there ever been a murder in your town?  Yeah. Are you someone who has to analyze everything?  AAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Are you too sensitive for your own good? YUP. Do you still have pictures of you and your ex best friend?  I'm sure in old photo albums Mom keeps. Where does your grandma live?  My only living one technically lives in Florida, but she stays in NY with her son's family a lot.  Probably doesn't much now that she's married, though. Is there a mirror in your room?  We have one we need to put up on my door. Have you ever done hard drugs before?  No. Have you ever lived with a roommate before? Jacob and Amanda when I was in the apartment with Jason. What's the littlest you have slept in?  Naked accidentally lmao. What is your favorite juice? Mixed ones.  Particularly mango ones. Do you love one parent better than the other?  Yeah, admittedly.  But I adore them both. What’s the best club you’ve ever been to? Never been. Do you prefer hardly toasted at all or burnt toast?  You will never see me eat burnt toast. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless?  I will never in my entire life understand why scribbles a two-year-old could make sometimes sell for thousands.  But for the artist themselves, if it's therapeutic, then, *shrugs* Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way?  YUP and my mom would always try to fix it.  I still do it. Who were the last two girls you texted?  Sara and Mom. When was the last time you completely broke down?  Uhhhh I'm unsure. Have you ever gone to court?  Yeah, but only to explain to a judge why I felt I should be released from the mental hospital sooner.  Won.  They wanted to keep me for a whole month and I was like um fuck no, especially when your facility sucks. When was the last time you felt left out?  *shrugs* Do you know if women in your family tend to get gray hair early? Have you yourself ever had a gray hair?  Idk, and no. Who in your family has the longest hair? How long is yours? Nicole easily has the longest.  The longer side of my hair just barely passes my ear. What professional teams do you and/or your family root for? Dad's for the Carolina Hurricanes and Cleveland Browns. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. What’s your favorite bird?  Barn owls. Does your car have an alarm?  I don't have my own car.  Mom's doesn't. What about your house?  No, but Teddy and Bentley suffice well. Have you ever seen your siblings naked?  As kids, sure, and then Nicole has like zero shame walking around the house naked after a shower to get clothes. Did you ever really believe in the tooth fairy?  Lol yeah. Would you ever get your legs waxed? No, sounds painful as fuck.  Especially when your hair's as thick as mine. @_@ Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? HELL NO.  It looks n o t h i n g like me. Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Both. Are you unemployed?  Yeah. Do you think the govt has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Tbh maybe.  Like, have you not heard the billion ideas that could cure cancer, but these ideas are never pursued?  And even those that have been, I would not at all be surprised if one way or even multiple have been found but kept silent because the world runs on money.  Might as well let people stay sick and milk millions out of them, right?  I don't trust the government for shit. Do you have a Mexican friend?  Yeah. Are both of your parents still alive?  Thankfully. Was your ex born in America?  All but one, although I really don't even consider us as ever dating. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on?  I don't have a personal Instagram, no Snapchat, and I literally only have a blank Twitter to like Mark's shit get on my level. What was the last thing you were stressed about? Uhhh how am I blanking on this. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool?  Pool.  I could never handle a trampoline again with my knees, plus it just doesn't entertain me as it did as a kid. Do you have the same favorite colors you had when you were a kid?  Yeah.  My favorite color has always been hues of red. What do you like to put in your tea? I hate tea. Who have you been told you look like? My sisters, at least somewhat.  And Mom and Dad. What color are your doorknobs?  Gold. Do you own a bobblehead?  No. What do you make wishes on?  Nothing. What is your city known for? "You mean Tennessee?" What is your state known for? Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Bojangle's, probably half of all country bands... What’s your favorite Paramore song?  "That's What You Get." What was the subject of your last photo shoot? I couldn't tell you the last time I was in what I'd call a "photo shoot," not since I was a kid...  The most recent one I did was of Colleen and her son. What are some of your favorite sounds?  Wind chimes, waves, fire crackling, the breeze through leaves, sARA'S SINGING YOU GO AMY LEE... lots of things. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do?  There's a chance I'll be dumb and butt in if I think I could defuse the situation, but I'll sometimes just awkwardly stay silent. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot?  I dunno, that's broad as hell... If you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or pothead?  The latter. What are you listening to?  A Jeffree Star video oops I've fallen in love with him tbh. What if someone asked you to be in a relationship with them?  I'm already happily in one so the answer would be no. What will your next piercing be?  It's probs gonna be my collarbones. Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say?  Well I know none of my ex's numbers but Girt's, but I'll just say I knew them.  Aaron, I'd be very confused considering we haven't talked since like freshman year, but greet him like I would any old friend.  Juan or Tyler, wouldn't answer.  Girt, answer like normal.  Jason, tbh I'd answer and do whatever I could to show how much better my life is without him.  Bitchy but idc.  After the shit he shoved me into, I want him to know I came out better than ever. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?  Quite a few times but still not enough weeps. Will you kiss that person again?  YEAH. Do you like champagne?  Never tried it. Do you like cinnamon on your apple pie?  I hate pie. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert?  Only been to one, but yeah. Do you use a comb or brush?  Mostly a comb now that my hair's short. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches?  It's the part I eat first. Have you ever had a vacation where you stayed in a cabin?  No, I wish. Would you rather call or text?  Omfg do not call me. What color would you dye your hair right now if you could, and it was guaranteed to look good?  Okay so currently I'm dying (hawhaw) to get this mostly peach color, but have it fade to fiery, reddish-orange on the longer side.  It's based on a picture and would cost over $100, so.  Guess who's not doing it anytime soon lmao. Do you like the way you look naked? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Have you ever dissected an animal?  In high school. Do you believe that humankind has a future in space (will we live there some day)? Maybe.  Probably, actually. What (not who) do you care about?  Gay rights, animal rights (no, not to PETA degree), equal human rights in general, the first amendment, maintaining peace/pacifism, conservation efforts... I'unno, lots of stuff, if you want the answer to be like, big topics. Who or what is really the absolute root and source of all evil?  Discontent.  Now this itself doesn't always lead to evil actions, but just about any malevolence I can think up stems from that. Has anyone ever led you on? No. Would you rather date someone 4 feet tall or 9 feet tall? The former. What is the one thing you do that your friends wish you didn’t? I've heard "don't be afraid to reach out first" a billion times. Do you believe you have a soul?  Yes. Would you rather have a child that is more confident or more curious? Curious.  Ask questions, learn things. Who influences you to be the way you are?  LOTS of people! What is one idea that you live by?  Yikes, that's hard.  But I suppose one of the biggest is that caring about the world and what's within it does wonders. How can people act to make you want to get to know them? Be super open, honest, and shameless of yourself.  See the positives, SHOW you clearly care about others, have passion... and if you're funny, that's a bonus. When are you at a loss for words?  It's honestly rare I seriously am.  If I in person was to witness something like abused dogs screaming at being pet for the first time, that'd almost definitely get me. What is the worst time to be alone? When suicidal.  You.  Need.  To.  Talk. What do your parents do that you will try never to do?  I'll never smoke like Dad.  And I'm never having kids, but if I did, I would never, ever spank them like Mom did me and my sisters. Who is your favorite visual artist?  Some folks on deviantART.  The three probably in a tie are NukeRooster (I prefer lots of her older stuff, though; also got permission to tattoo one of her paintings one day yeets loudly), sandara, and Culpeo-Fox. What is the most magical thing that has ever happened to you?  I'm fucking pathetic that time Mark reblogged my gif lmao my soul evacuated my body and left me for dead for like three days & nothing felt real.  Whenever that gif comes up in my activity now, a single tear falls. Do you have high blood pressure? No, it's usually kinda low. Have you ever pumped gas?  No.  I'm 22.  Weeps. Do you have any appointments this month?  I have a therapy and psychiatry appointment monthly, so yes. Do you like bras that have removable straps? h u n n y I ain't in the Itty-Bitty Titty Committee so it makes no difference to me, me wearing bras without straps is a danger to society. What are you the most sensitive about? Can we like never comment on my weight.  Actually, scratch that, that's not the worst.  I would probably rip someone's eyes out and sob for a week if someone claimed I did Jason wrong.  I'd fucking lose it. Have you ever left a mean unsigned note? No, I don't think I've ever left a mean note. What are three things that you try not to think about?  Perhaps more than anything is the fact one day, I may become immune to the medications that played a big role in saving my life.  I try really, really hard to never think about that.  I do pretty well at that, thankfully...  Two others are hazards of me driving and the possibility of getting another job that only flops. Is casual sex acceptable for you? Abso-fucking-lutely not. What form of sexual protection do you use? Being in a gay relationship lmao.  Okay but seriously I take birth control, but for my period. Do you believe in the need for political correctness? It's gone way too goddamn far jfc. Does anyone have a video tape of you doing something embarrassing?  Mom probably lmao. What is the worst fault a person can have?  Abusive. Who have you read a biography about?  Ozzy Osbourne. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?  BELIEVE IN YOUR CAPABILITIES!!! Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?  Maggots, slugs, some spiders and insects, centipedes... If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)?  Nope. Do/did you always say goodnight to your parents before bed?  No. Are there any holidays you don’t celebrate?  It'd be easier to tell you what we do celebrate.

[sweatytyrantwhispers]

Part 4 of things my friends do that make me love them even more:

- both rachel and cristine are artistically talented and i cant fucking wait to see them become famous doing the things they love (i know theyll becoem famous i believe in them tht much) (rachel has a great singing voice; cristine has a great singing voice, knows how to play various intstruments, loves acting, and can paint/draw amazingly)

-seth tells me some catchphraes his fav youtubers say whenever we talk

-none of my friends (nor I) knows how to react or what to say most of the time, especially when it comes to gift giving and compliments; we’re all oblivious and awkward people that don’t understand society

-andy messes up on what to say to customer service people when its evening/night time cus we usually go out around tht time but he’s used to sauing have a good day

-andy also hates intersections so he’ll pretend hes walking in the other direction (away frm the intersection), stand on the sidewalk and pretend hes doing something, or take a whole other route if theres a car nearing the intersection bc he says it feels awkward

-rachel’s favorite animals are dogs and raccoons so when i send her a post abt raccoons she gets rly excited and says she wants to hv a raccoon as a pet when she grows up. She also gets excited when i point out a dog to her in public (she cant see it cus no glasses but still excited by its genert presence)

-dina is scared of lightning so I always try to ask her if shes alright when theres a thunderstorm

-when we go to the park, rachel almost always tries to make tiktoks. We always end up interrupting and annoying her while she makes them though, sorta like our little routine.

-last time we went to the park, rachel ended up accidentally hitting meng and I directly on the face with the volleyball (its ok though cause im pretty sure we’ve ended up accidentally hitting each other with the ball at least once)

-when i got hit with the ball dina asked me if i was ok but as she moved towards me she went for the ball (we were playing monkey in the middle and she was one of the monkeys); its just funny and i love that our friendship is at a point where we could laugh about it and everything is fine

-i told my friends that i was depressed before going to the park to hang out w them. when i got there i kinda just sat on the ground looking through reddit with music on high. they all tried their best to talk to me and tell me funny stories (they said they overheard a group of kids talking about how they pantsed another dude) to cheer me up. Dina and Rachel both decided to give me a hug at the same time and i toppled over. Dina gave me a hug again. I love them so much

- Andy called me while i was in class to tel me to look at the sunset. Its something that both of us have done a few times because we both love sunsets and usually see them when we’re out. Its a small thing but it makes me love my friends even more.

-I was on voice call with Rachel on discord and she laughed then sent the group chat a link to a tiktok

-(not my friend but my mom) She knows that i hate it when things are thrown out when they’re still good or can still be repurposed. Someone brought flowers home for some reason (i forgot why) but she was putting the flowers in a vase one day. Some of the flowers broke off the bigger portion of the stem and couldn’t be put into the big vase but she put a bunch of them into a small container for me and gave it to me. I loved it even though we did hv to throw it out like a few weeks later.

-My friends and I were at Central Park and we were waiting for my two friends to finish up taking pictures. Meng and I were taking a short nap (him sitting down w his elbows on his legs and me w my head on his shoulder) while we waited. We also shared my earbuds to listen to my music. I was p sleepy so I was on the verge of sleeping my also sorta aware of what was going on (mainly cus we were guarding our stuff while everyone else was taking pictures elsewhere). I was doing that thing you do when you’re nodding your head while trying to stay awake/go to sleep. I kept on doing that until he eventually sat up a bit more and pushed my head onto his shoulder better

-Samir looked at a shirt with george washington on it and confidently said that was benjamin franklin

-Dina was talking about how she kept on eating shrimo and peanuts even though she has a mild allergy to it. Rachel and I were telling her to stop and tht we’re not bringing it to the picnic on sunday cus we dont want her dying. She responded, very confidently, tht she “hasnt died before”

-Samir calls dina “d-money”

-Rachel gave me a hug as an im sorry for taking so long. (I genuinely didnt care cus even tho they do take a long time i still v much love them)

-Rachel takes tiktoks and videos of us while we’re out

-Rachel and Dina both got v the excited when i wore a skirt out today because I usually dress more masculine

-A few weeks ago (i think) my friends and I were at the park. I was trying to do something to meng and tripped and fell on the park ground (the part where there’s basically a bunch of tiny rocks on/in the floor). Meng was also trying to do that thing where two people hold a person’s arms and legs and swing them back and forth with me but forgot that if you take someones legs off the floor with no one else holding my arms, i would fall head first onto the park ground, which i did. Both times I laughed at myself but everyone rushed to me while laughing. Idk why but it made me feel like I was ok and safe, even if i was in so much pain, srsly i couldve had a concussion.

- Rachel and I both got excited bc we both wanted to got to the same college

-I call andy when im walking home by myself at night (or when the route im taking doesn’t necessarily hv a lot of people of lights) and he just vibes with me (sometimes talks to me abt how i should b home) until i get home safely

-idk if i already put this but Andy and I have a safe word when we think there might be someone behind us following us at night bc one time when walking home we thought tht and used our now safe word to see if there was someone

-Rachel and Dina do this thing where they take their hand and go from the side of someone else’s body (where the arms are) to the bottom of their legs rly fast while theyre walking. They call it “full body stroke”. They shared it w me and now we do it to meng almost every time we go out. Sometimes we do it together (one person per side).

-While at Central Park there was a dude that was singing (he was rly good). He started singing “Lean on me” by Bill Withers and my friends started singing along with him.

-Rachel sent me a tiktok knowing full well that itd make me gay panic bc yk ✨w o m e n✨

-Dina, Alan, and I stayed out after everyone else went home cus yk they were tired. Dina and I decided to talk like white girls/pick me girls the rest of the night with their stereotypical voices. We laughed the entire time and created weird storylines including: Jessica (Dina), Olivia (me), Jayden (Jessica’s boyfriend and brother that created on Jessica with me and Nicole), Nicole (Jessica’s friend), Olivia’s dad (a convicted felon in all 50 states and is dead), Jessica’s dad (a lawyer that’s also running for president, and Alan (he was just roped into our bs and was there to act like the dude that we both wanted to have as our bf).

- When we were in the bathroom and washing our hands, Dina waited until after the other woman in the bathroom to leave before coming up to me and, in a discreet whisper, told me that the soap was what “good pussy sounds like”

- Rachel, Dina, and I saw a few cats on our way to meet up with Alan and we played w the cats for a bit before one of them said “pspspspsp come here alan” to one of the cats. We now do this frequently to each other even though we hate it.

- We have corrupted each other to the point where we cannot hang out without someone saying “that’s what she said”, something about Dina being white, “just like this dick”, and “deez nuts”. We laugh about it a lot

- Rachel and I are both reasonably out of energy both mentally and physically after our jobs so when I walked w her to a mall w the rest of her friends, we both walked silently with a bit of catching up cause we both understood how the other felt

-We had a water balloon fight today at work (Alan, Rachel, and I work together). Obviously, I took the chance to pop as many balloons over rachel’s head and dump water on her. She tried to spray me w water using a water gun though. Afterwards gave the towel i brought to rachel cause she needed it to change. It’s important to note that rachel has purple hair right now and that the towel was white. key word: was. The towel was now stained a light purple (I dont mind but damn)

- i made rachel a purple raccoon by crocheting it (purple and pink actually). I finished it yesterday (sunday) and gave it today to her at work (monday). I opened the door a bit and peeked my head in with the raccoon just below me in my hands. She was confused at first but then saw the raccoon and her eyes lit up. It was rly cute🥰🥺 to see her get excited. We both nicknamed the raccoon “pimp jr.” and i made a lil name tag/from to tag that said it.

- rachel likes to lip-sync to music shes either listening to or hears in store and sometimes does a little dance with it. Its so cute and I love looking at her do it because it reminds me of why I adore her. She also goes hard when it comes to singing at karaoke. Like damn her vocal range is astounding

- dina got so excited when i asked her if she wanted to binge watch all the twilight movies with me. She looked so cute cus its one of her favorite movies. ugh i love my friends.

-a lot of dudes have crushes on rachel and dina and the both of them usually just try their best to avoid the person or avoid confronting them. Idk why but it kinda makes me feel grateful that I’m close friends with them because I used to have a crush on both of them before when we first met. When I told them i used to have crushes on them they didn’t act weird about it or anything and we continued to be friends. I’m so fucking grateful I’m their friend despite my initial crush on them cause they’re two of them most amazing people I’ve met my entire life.

-rachel, meng, alan, and I went to go watch Shang Chi in movies. In the last few scenes (which were v tense btw) rachel nd I both got rly anxious and squeezed each others hands bc we were scared out favorite characters were gonna get hurt. She squeezed the fuck out of my hand to the point where I couldn’t feel it anymore and neither could she. I’m ok with that though cus I’m glad she finds comfort in squeezing the living fuck out of my hands.

-dina, rachel, and I have matching bracelets from hot topic and i see them wear it almost every time we hang out. Alan and I have a matching pair too but I dont think he’s going to wear it very much (issok tho).

-We went to karaoke yesterday and I dont know how I just realized this but while she’s singing, dina likes to move around a lot. It’s not exactly dancing but not particularly just moving around. Its kinda like that tiny thing ppl do when they’re alone and playing their favorite songs on blast. She’s so cute when she does it, esp because she seems so happy when she does it. Even though I absolutely despise Justin Bieber, I would play his songs over and over again on blast if it made her as happy as she has made me.

-dina and I like to go to the swings and blast “Happier Than Ever” with earbuds in (we share a pair for this) and she screams along to it for the second half

-it’s become a “tradition” for us to go to the swings (most of time) after we’ve done the initial things we already planned out because dina and I love the swings.

[dr0wning-in-hell]

Secrets and Fun - Grant Gustin

summary : Grant asks you out on a date, but you think it’s just as friends. Later on that night you fid out that he likes you the way you’ve liked him and things get a bit heated from there.

word count : 3.6k +

warnings : nervous reader, nervous Grant, fluff, smut, fingering, heated make out session, little bit of cursing, unprotected sex, little bit more fluff.

pairing : grant gustin x actress!reader

prompt : “Hi! I love love love your imagines so so much, and if it's not too much to ask could I request a Grant Gustin x Reader where they're friends, but secretly have feelings for each other and finally he breaks down and tells her how he feels and it leads to some, ahem, "fun" later on? Thanks so much!!!” - anon

A/N : lol I feel like this is suupper long. Idk, but I hope you enjoy! :D

master list | requests | prompt list |

Grant Gustin has liked you for a while now, ever since you two were introduced on the set of The Flash during season two. It was now time to film season four of the DC show.

You weren’t big on the show, maybe a hero that would come up and every now and again, but with Grant’s character ‘Barry’ now gone, your character is now much bigger.

You and Candice sat in makeup, talking and getting ready for the new scene. You and Candice have grown close to one anther over the past few weeks, having many scenes together. One thing you two had bonded over was of course- Grant Gustin himself. Candice and Danielle would constantly tease you about having a crush on Grant, but every time they did you would deny any accusation, but of course they were right.

You did like Grant, but you knew it was wrong since you two were co-workers, friends. You couldn’t be anything more than that, or it would ruin your friendship. Even with Grant not filming as much anymore, he was still always on set.

“Y/N!” You heard your name being called from somewhere behind you. Looking in the mirror you saw Grant, the man of the hour, jogging up to you and Candice. From the corner of your eye you could see the actress smirking at you. You rolled your eyes, and got up from your chair to meet Grant. The brunette boy smiled at her, his dimples making your stomach tighten.

You shook off the feeling and smiled at him. “What’s up, Grant?”

He shrugged. “I uh- was just wondering if you wanted to maybe- um..” Before grant could finish his sentence you were called out onto set. She sighed as she looked at Grant.

“I’m sorry.” You said as you started to back up, “We can finish this when I’m done shooting!” You slightly yelled as you jogged off to where you were needed. Grant huffed. He just wanted to ask you out, but every time he was about to you two were interrupted.

He watched from behind the filming crew as you did your job. You were an amazing actress, and he was just happy he got to work with you. Before season four, you were hardly ever on set, maybe every once in a great blue moon to do a team up, but other than that you were always guess staring on Arrow or DC’ s Legends of Tomorrow. You were kind of all over the place.

Just about thirty minutes later you were done shooting the needed scenes for that time period and then started heading to your dressing room. Grant caught sight of you and jogged up to you.

“Y/N/N! Hey, we didn’t finish our conversation.” Grant said as he slowed his pace next to you. You turned your head a bit and smiled softly at him.

“Right, right, sorry. Continue.” You continued o walking.

Grant coughed slightly. “So uh- as I was saying, I was wondering if you’d maybe like to hang out tonight? With me?” Your heart started to beat faster. Was he actually asking you out on a date? Or was he just asking to hang out as friends.

Turning your head, you smiled and nodded. Maybe it was just a as friends, there was no way he actually wanted to go out with you... right? Grant’s face lit up though, a big, goofy grin stretching across his face. As he went to say something else you were pulled away by your hair and makeup artists, going to get ready for the next session of filming.

You weren't done filming until 10:00 p.m. You had several wardrobe changes and makeup changes, but in between every break, you couldn’t get away long enough to go find Grant.

Maybe he left. You thought to yourself. As you were packing up, Candice came skipping over to you, smiling like an idiot. “You, me, clubbing all night.” She said all giggly. You groaned. You weren’t really in the mood for clubbing, and you weren’t even really sure if you and Grant were even still on for tonight.

Sighing you shook your head. ”I’m not really up for it, Candice. Plus, Grant I were supposed to hang out tonight, but I don’t even think e’s here anymore.” Candice smirked. “We were going to hang out as friends, Candice. I don’t even think he likes me the way I like him.” You sigh, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh no, I’m pretty sure he’s still here.” Candice smirked and nodded behind you.”Good luck.” She patted your shoulder before skipping away, giggling at her two favorite people finally ‘going out on a date’. You turned around to see Grant walking up to you with a single rose in his hands. You smiled softly, not being able to help the blush that crept up your cheeks. Grant stood in front of you, wearing a pair of blue jeans, and a nice t-shirt with a jacket over it. He smiled at you as he handed you the flower. You took it with a smile on your face.

Why was he doing this if you were just hanging out as friends? You wondered.

“Here I thought you had left, Mr. Gustin.” You chuckled softly. “I thought you left earlier.” You admitted.

Grant shook his head. “Nope, well I did, but to get you that rose. I was going to buy an entire bouquet but they’re so expensive.” He laughed softly, making you smile. The two of you walked out to where both of your cars were parked and sighed. “So, I was thinking maybe we could go get some ice-cream or frozen yogurt? And just walk around for a bit? I don’t know, I hadn’t actually planned this out all the way.” You laughed and nodded.

“That sounds great. Let me just put this stuff in my car and then we can walk to the frozen yogurt shop?” You said, unlocking your car and throwing your stuff inside. You grabbed some cash and then locked the car again, turning to  Grant. “Alright, let’s go.” You smiled. Grant nodded and the two of you started to walk down to the frozen yogurt shop. On the way there you two talked about the upcoming filming sessions, characters that may be coming into play, your lives outside of the show.

Grant had learned that you loved to read, but then again anyone could have guessed that since there is almost always a book on your chair or in your dressing room. You had also learned that Grant made his own YouTube videos. That was a surprise to you. Sure, you knew he could sing and everything, but you never would have guessed Grant Gustin would have a YouTube channel.

You and Grant walked into the Frozen Yogurt shop, the little bell chiming as the two of you walked in. There wasn’t anyone there, besides the employees of course, but you and Grant were the only customers.

Your eyes landed on the cups that would have the Yogurt in them. You walked over to them and picked out a medium sized cup. With the cups were different things that you could put onto the bottom of your cup. There were cookies, brownies, gram cracker crumbs, Teddy Grams, and Oreo bits. You put some Oreo crumbs on the bottom of your cup before walking over to the many machine's that held the yogurt. (think ITop It). You put Vanilla, chocolate, and of course Oreo flavoring into your cup. Grant was just putting whatever flavor he liked into the cups. You chuckled softly before walking over to the rows of toppings. You decided to go with white chocolate chips and chunks of Oreo on the top.

Grant walked over to you, smiling. He had at least five different flavors in his cup. He puts loads of toppings on. Ranging from sprinkles, to different fruits. All you could do was laugh at him and his child like behavior.  It cam time to pay for your treats. You each weighed your cups, Grant’s obviously being the heaviest. Thankfully, if you had a cup over two pounds you got one cup free. You paid for yours, although Grant had argued that it was no big deal if he paid for yours, you still did t. The idea of someone else paying for your own treat made you a bit upset.

After grabbing a set of spoon you and Grant exited the shop and started your journey around town. The two of you ate you yogurt, smiling at one another when ever you’d catch the other staring at you.

“So, how’s being the new face of ‘The Flash’?” Grant asked, taking another bite of his frozen treat.

“It’s fun, a bit stressful, to be honest. But no one can take the place of Barry Allen.” You chuckled. “But it is fun.” You smile. “How does it feel to be on the sidelines?”

Grant shrugged. “A lot less stressful than being on camera 24/7, but I do miss it.” You nodded, understanding his feelings.

The two of you walked around town for a little while longer before deciding to head back to the car. As the two of you walked, Grant abruptly stopped, taking your hand and turning you towards him. You gave him a nervous look, wondering what his sudden action was about. He seemed nervous as well, his eyes kept glances back and forth from your eyes to your nose and to your nose to your lips. It only took you a short time to wrap your head around the fact that Grant was debating on kissing you. Gathering up your courage you closed the space between the two of you, you faces so close you could feel his breathe fanning your face.

Grant took your action as the ‘go ahead’ signal to kiss you. His lips fell onto yours quickly, in a needy, but passionate kiss. Your lips seemed to mold to his, as the two of you moved as one together. His hands fell to yours hips, holding you close to him as you held the back of his neck, keeping him close to you.

It only took a few more minutes for the two of you to pull away, breathing heavily with swollen lips. You hadn’t realized that you had your eyes closed the entire time, even when you had pulled away. Your Y/E/C eyes fluttered open, looking with Grant’s glowing green orbs. The two of you smiled softly at each other, still holding onto one another.

“I really like you, Y/N.” Grant breathed out. “Hell, I think I love you.” Your heart skipped a beat. Did he mean it?

You let out a heavy breathe, “Grant I have waited so long for you to say that. You have no idea how hard it was for me to see you and Candice acting like a couple. Kissing, hugging, holding each other. I wanted that to be me so badly. I wanted to say something but I didn’t want to ruin-”Grant quickly cut off your rambling with another kiss, making you smile against his lips.

“It can be you now, here, in real life.” He said softly. His hand brushed your cheek and you gently leaned into his touch. You nodded, accepting his words. He let out a happy breathe, his lips cracking into a smile. You couldn’t help yourself and smile as well, the sight in front of you making your heart swell. “I should probably take you back to your car, it’s getting late and cold.” Grant said. You frowned but nodded. You wanted to stay with him for the rest of the night.

You two walked back to where your car was pared, hands intertwined with one another’s. You were happy that the person you had lied for so long was finally yours. When you got your car you sighed, running a hand through your hair. You didn’t want Grant to leave you, you wanted him to come with you to talk and cuddle in your bed, to keep each other warm as you slept.

“Stay with me tonight.” You say quickly. Grant’s eyes widen. “I-I want you stay with me at my place tonight.” I stumble out. Grant’s silence worried you. Did he not want to stay at your place? Did he not want to take that big of a step so quickly? You quickly regretted saying anything, but when Grant nodded and smiled your worries seemed to wash away. You let out a relieved sigh. Unlocking the car you walked to the driver’s side and got in, starting up the engine and waiting for Grant to get in.

As you drove Grant kept his hand on your inner thigh, rubbing his thumb over the material of your clothes. You couldn’t stop the heat pooling your core. You wanted him so bad. Grant seemed to want you as well, since you could see his semi-hard on through his jeans. You picked up the speed, making it back to your home within minutes.

The two of you got out of the vehicle quickly, knowing that you both needed each other at that very moment. You fumbled with your house keys before unlocking the front door and pushing it open, rushing inside with Grant hot on your heels. When you closed the door, Grant had already pushed you against the wooden frame, his lips greedily pushing against yours. You moaned a little at the force of the kiss. Both yours and Grant’s hands tugged at each other’s clothes, ripping off your coats and then shirts. You kicked off your shoes, Grant following your motions.

“Jump.” Grant breathed out, lips ghosting over your ear. You did as told, jumping and wrapping your legs around his lower back. He caught you quickly, wrapping his arms under your thighs and pulling your clothed crotch onto his. You both moaned at the feeling of the smallest taste of friction. Grant walked the two of you up the stairs, finding his way to your bedroom. Once you two were in your room he dropped you onto your bed and sat up to take his jeans off. You quickly did the same, not wanting to waste anymore time.

Grant watched you, hypnotized as you slipped out of your jeans so easily. You blushed once you caught his gaze, your skin turning a light shade of red. He chuckled, crawling over you, laying you flat on your back. You mentally cursed yourself for not wearing a more colorful bra or underwear set, but then again you didn’t know this was going to happen. Grant’s hands grazed your sides, slipping under your bra and undoing the clip with ease. You were definitely surprised he had done that so easily, since everyone else had a much harder time.

Once Grant had dropped your bra onto the ground you absentmindedly covered your chest. Grant frowned, not understanding why you were being so self-conscious all of a sudden. His hands fell onto yours gently, moving your hands away from your chest. 

“You don’t have to cover yourself in front of me, Y/N/N. I think you’re beautiful.” Grant nuzzled his face into your neck, your Y/H/C hair being pushed to the other side. You couldn’t help but smile as he pressed gentle kisses along your neck and under your ear. He moved down, leaving a trail of hickies and  love bites down your chest. His lips latched around each of your nipples, swirling the hardening bud between his teeth for a few minutes before going over to the other one and repeating the process. When he felt like he was done with your nipples he moved further down South, leaving the same trail down your skin.

Grant looked at you, his eyes asking if he could take off your last piece of clothing. You nodded, sucking your bottom lip in between your teeth in anticipation. Grant slid two fingers through your wet folds, before pushing them deep into your cunt. You moaned out loud, slightly arching your back from the bed. Grant smirked, watching your facial expressions change every time he would curl his fingers inside of you.

You couldn’t take it any longer. You wanted Grant now.

When Grant slipped his fingers from inside you, you took the chance to flip your positions. Your body on top of his. A small smirk spread across his face as he watched you take over from there. You moved your hands down to his boxer briefs, slightly palming him through the fabric. He let out a low grunt, shut his eyes for only a second before looking at you again. You winked at the man underneath you before sliding his boxers off and throwing them with the rest of the clothes. His length was hard against your inner thigh, and the small feeling of your skin against his made both of you moan.

Not wanting to waste more time, you sat on your knees, thighs spread out over Grant’s crotch. You tugged at him a few times before pushing him into you. Grant’s hands flew to your hips, helping you steady yourself as you were lowered onto his cock. He stretched you out, filling you and molding your walls perfectly. After you had adjusted you started to move up and down his length, moaning every time he was pushed back into you. It felt amazing to say the least. His tip would hit your g-spot, causing the both of you to grunt or let out a string of curse words. His hands dug into your sides, or moved to your ass and grabbed handfuls of the soft flesh. You would no doubt have bruises in the morning.

Your pace picked up, your skin slapping down onto Grant’s with each thrust of your body. Your hands held tightly onto Grant’s biceps, giving you leverage as you thrusted your body onto him. He grunted your name over and over again,pulling your chest down onto his so he could meet your lips with his.  You moaned against his mouth, giving him the perfect chance to slide his tongue into your mouth. You let his tongue roam your mouth, massaging your tongue and running over every little crevice inside your mouth.

Neither of you were really vocal, you were to lost in the pleasure to even think of any words to say besides his name. When Grant realized that you were getting tired he flipped the two of you over again, hooking one leg over his shoulder and wrapped the other around his back. The new angle gave him a better opportunity to thrust deeper into your pussy.

You moaned loudly as he did so, thrusting quickly and roughly, seeming to go deeper each time he plunged back in. You thought you were getting to loud so you covered your mouth, biting the skin on your hand to try and quiet yourself. Grant moved your hand though, and held it above your head.

“Let everything out baby, I want everyone to hear how good I’m making you feel.” He groaned. You obliged, moaning and cursing each time you felt him go deeper or hit your sweet spot.

It didn't take long for his own thrusts to slow and become sloppy. You knew he was getting to his end and he knew you were getting to yours.

“Fuck, Grant I’m about to cum.” You gasped. Grant nodded, locking his lips with yours before he stopped his thrusts, his cock twitching inside you as he came with a loud grunt against your lips. His orgasm set off yours, and the feeling of being so connected to one another amplified every thing you were feeling for him.

When your body relaxed, Grant slipped out of you and laid down next to you, running his hands down your hot flesh. You turned your head, smiling softly at him. He looked so handsome in the dim light, with his hair stuck to his forehead due to the seat that trickled down his face. You liked -no loved- the sight in front of you. he returned the smile, pulling your face to his and placing a small, but soft kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you Grant, I have for such a long time.” you whispered. You looked up at Grant through your eyelashes and blushed when he smiled down at you. Something about him made you feel all giddy and excited inside.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He mumbled. You smiled and gave him one last kiss before the two of you fell asleep in ach other’s arms.