#I just had to make another edit with La Vie En Rose in the background

[death-by-mercury]

𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘰, 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘦, 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 ❤︎

𝘚𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 1937

[quixotic-writer]

Rose Colored Lenses

Song inspo: Édith Piafs La vie en Rose

As she bakes in the kitchen, Q hears his girlfriend singing and waltzing away into the evening.

———————————————————————

Soothing music comes from the Alexa speaker as you finished preheating the oven. You step back over to the mixing bowl and cupcake pan lined with cute pastel blue cupcake wrappers lined up carefully in it. You mix around the thick batter getting a slight whiff of the rich chocolatey batter that falls onto your taste buds delicately as you inhale. With that preview, you can already begin to imagine how they’ll taste and your mouth waters at the thought.

Gently you take smalls scoops and begin distributing the batter into each little liner and hum along to all the familiar old time tunes that fill the silence and solitude of the kitchen. All the cats of the household lounge about the kitchen, tails swaying along to the music with large hungry eyes hoping to get a delicious reward out of a mistake you’ll make accidentally dropping some food onto the floor.

La vie en rose fades in and begins to pour into the kitchen, the gentle trumpets and violins pulling at your heartstrings and the vintage sound of Édith Piaf’s elegant vibrato voice allow your lips to part and begin to sing along to the tune.

Des yeux qui font baiser les miens,

Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche,

Voila le portrait sans retouche

De l'homme auquel j'appartiens

You sing along brushing up on your french, carefully remembering the pain you went through for that extra credit in french class back in school. It was worth it though, knowing how to perfectly sing the song has become a spectacle on karaoke nights with friends and is also just something that feels oh so fulfilling.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras

Il me parle tout bas,

Je vois la vie en rose.

You begin to sing a little louder for the feline audience you have at your feet that watch with trained eyes that seem to be smiling to show their approval. As you scrape the last bits of batter from the bowl, the oven beeps signaling the oven is hot and ready for the cupcakes to begin cooking. With swaying hips and french pouring out of your soul, you place the cupcakes in the oven and set a timer. In the meantime, you dance and sing, feeling happy and carefree.

Little did you know: your musical feat had begun to echo upstairs to where your boyfriend, Brian, was playing video games but listening with a careful ear. With curiosity finally besting him, he sneaks his way downstairs on his tip toes to not attract your attention and peeks from around the corner.

Il me dit des mots d'amour,

Des mots de tous les jours,

Et ca me fait quelque chose.

There he saw you with Benjamin in your arms twirling about the kitchen, singing with your heart and soul with a look of pure bliss upon your smiling face. Your eyes being locked on little Benjamin, you didn’t even notice as he watched you and your little soirée unfold. When you do finally see the familiar face enveloped in your performance, you jump a little and stop immediately in your tracks. You blush in embarrassment with a hand over your mouth, music still playing gently in the background. All he does is smile and chuckle to himself.

“How long have you been watching?” You ask him with a bashful smirk on your face hidden behind your hand as you gently place Benjamin back onto the floor. He walks over towards you and grabs your hand, raising it above your heads to allow you to twirl and bring you close to his chest and you look into his mocha eyes that are absolutely smitten in your image.

“Long enough to fall more in love with you.” He says as you both slowly sway to the slow tempo of the music. “I love to hear you sing. That’s when I know your undeniably happy.” He says laying a gentle kiss on your lips.

Des nuits d'amour a ne plus en finir

Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place

Des enuis des chagrins, des phases

Heureux, heureux a en mourir.

You continue to sing along, heart filled with warmth that translated so well to the lyrics of the song as you sang. Brian watched enamored by you as you both danced your cares away in the kitchen. His hands lay gently on your waist, your hands resting on his arms as you look deep into his eyes and pour emotions out through song.

C'est toi pour moi. Moi pour toi

Dans la vie,

Il me l'a dit, l'a jure pour la vie.

He swings you both outwards so that your bodies curve and stretch out with only your hand connecting you, and he twirls you back into his embrace.

Et des que je l'apercois

Alors je sens en moi

Mon coeur qui bat

The song begins to come to its close. In the last moments and the last lyrics, he dips you down grazing his fingertips down your jawline to your chin where he lifts your head closer to his. And in those last few notes, he captures the moment with a deep and passionate kiss. You could feel his smile in the embrace and couldn’t help but smile in return.

You both finally pull away and he brings you back up. The music fades into Doris Day’s Again and he holds you close to his chest with his chin resting on top of your head and your head nuzzled into his chest gently swaying to the new tune.

“You always amaze me, you’re so incredible darling.” He finally speaks. “Thank you for sharing this dance and performance, angel.” You smile grows larger at his endless river of compliments and your heart overflows with adoration for him.

“You flatter me too much. I love you, Brian.” You pull away and give him another quick kiss before kneeling down to check on your cupcakes that are slowly rising in the oven. The aroma of the goodies begin to bleed out and fill the space. Q takes a deep breath in and kneels down next to you to look at the pastries.

“These look incredible and smell just as wonderful. Is there anything you can’t do?” With a giggle you look over to Brooklyn cat laying near the oven and pet her.

“Well I can’t find a way to make acting like a clown and embarrassing myself on national television into a job.” Q places a hand on his chest, puts an exaggerated face of offense on, and deeply gasps.

“Well it seems you can be incredibly rude!” He teases as you both are left on the kitchen floor laughing, watching the cupcakes continue to cook as you bathe in the soothing sounds of your music.

———————————————————————

A/N: Omg I had this saved in the drafts but on Q’s radio show today he played this exact song and I knew I had to edit and post this IMMEDIATELY 🥳

[spring-emerald]

Haikyuu!! Idol!AU Girl Group Edition

So, it’s finally here. 

DISCLAIMER: References are more K-pop than J-pop and concepts and songs are from groups I am familiar with.

The Group at a Glance

Dubbed as the Nation’s Girl Group. A permanent group formed from a reality competition/survival show (very much like Produce 101/Produce 48), and they were the final members chosen by the viewers.

Though in their case, they wouldn’t just promote as a whole group, but they would also promote at least two different sub-units (very much like LOONA), then there’s also a group with chosen members to represent the whole group based on the concept given (kind of like NCT with NCT U).

They’re a diverse group, and can pretty much sell different concepts earning them a reputation of being like a ‘chameleon’ group because they can adapt rather quickly.

Full of good looking members, all visual material, but don’t be fooled because these girls are dorks and most of the members are very competitive and that makes for a good variety show content.

Has a group Youtube channel where they showcase song and dance covers and also features member of the day vlogs.

 Concepts/Songs:

Overall concept or a whole group concept that best represents them would be WSJN’s Secret. Or I.O.I’s Crush. Though there’s also Twice’s Fancy and Feel Special, but I guess that’s later in their career as a group.

There’s also IZ*ONE’s La Vie en Rose, gugudan’s A Girl Like Me and The Boots, SNSD’s Mr. Mr. and Lion Heart, and Twice’s TT.

Sub-unit songs leaning towards girl crush concepts: gugudan’s Not That Type, Pristin V’s Get It, Red Velvet’s Bad Boy and Psycho, Everglow’s Bon Bon Chocolat and ITZY’s Dalla Dalla to name a few.

Sub-unit songs leaning towards cute, innocent concepts: Apink’s I don’t know, GFRIEND’s Glass Bead and Navillera. There’s also SNSD’s Oh, I.O.I’s Very Very Very, Twice’s Signal and Cheer Up, Red Velvet’s Dumb Dumb and Red Flavor, Twice’s What is Love? for starters.

Other songs: Red Velvet’s One of These Nights, I.O.I’s Downpour, gugudan’s Diary, 2NE1’s It Hurts and Lonely.

More songs that units can do: TaeTiSeo’s Twinkle, Red Velvet’s Be Natural, Sonamoo’s I Think I Love You, Twice’s OOH AHH, KARA’s Step, and T-ARA’s Lovey Dovey. I don’t know. These songs sound fun for them to do.

Girl groups have a wide range of concepts so they pretty much touched most of them. They also have their fair share of covering boy group songs and dances so there’s also that.

The Members (in order of age)

Haiba Alisa – Alisa is the oldest member of the group and serves as sub-vocal, and visual. She’s also the actress idol among the group, and prior to joining the show, she’d been training as a model and actress. The darling onee-san, known for her delicate mannerisms and remarkable sense of style. She’s always doting on her members especially the younger ones.

My reference for idol Alisa is SNSD’s Sooyoung.

Misaki Hana – Hana is the second oldest and serves as vocal and dancer of the whole group. She’s the sub-leader of the whole group and is the leader of one of the sub-units. She’s quiet but a versatile member, and is considered an all-rounder because give her anything, she can handle it. Was already known in some form prior to joining the show because during her trainee days, she was featured in one of her agency’s boy group MV as the leading lady.

gugudan’s Hana is my reference for idol Hana.

Michimiya Yui – Yui is the leader of the whole group, as well as the other sub-unit, serves as lead vocalist and dancer. She’s known within the fandom as the crybaby leader, flustered leader, because much as she tries to keep it in, she’s really emotional and she cares a lot about the members of the group. She’s chosen as the leader even though she’s not the oldest because time and again, during the show’s course, she’s always shown helping contestants, whether they’re in the same group or not, improve and this endeared her to the viewers.

Twice’s Jihyo is my reference for idol Yui.

Suzumeda Kaori – Kaori is the main rapper and lead dancer of the group. She’s one of the girls from her agency to be included in the final line-up. Basically has reverse charm because she’s quiet and sweet when in front of the camera, but when performing, she shifts into a lethal rapper and dancing machine. She’s also a good producer and has had a hand on some of the group’s releases.

Pristin’s Nayoung is my idol reference for Kaori.

Yamaka Mika - Mika is the group’s main vocal. A skilled songwriter as well, something she got from her father who’s a composer. Came from one of the big talent agencies so there was quite a lot of pressure on her to do well, which she did because she has the voice to prove it. The only member revealed to be in a relationship (much to the fanboy’s dismay), but they still support her, since her boyfriend seems to be really sweet and good to her (base from her Insta stories).

I.O.I and WSJN’s Yeonjung is my reference for Mika.

Shimizu Kiyoko – Kiyoko serves as the groups vocal and another visual. The ice queen-slash-winter goddess, as the fandom dubs her. She’s quiet and generally a poker-faced beauty but has some sort of 4d personality, especially when she’s ‘playing’ around with the younger members. The group’s representative to anything athletic, as she used to be part of the track team during her middle school years. The group’s dark horse when it comes to variety shows, because of her witty one liners. Has the most fanboys out of the members.

Red Velvet’s Irene is Shimizu’s idol reference.

Nametsu Mai – Mai is the main dancer of the group, and also serves as sub-rapper. The ‘dance cover diva’ as she’s known, she’s already a bit famous prior to joining the competition show because of her cover channel that has at least a million views on average and had been an instructor in one of the elite dance studios in the country.

SNSD’s Hyoyeon is Mai’s idol reference.

Shirofuku Yukie – Hails from the same agency as Kaori, and serves as the group’s other lead dancer and sub-vocal. The mukbang queen who is always seen eating in the background whether in behind the scenes videos or official videos, but she’s also the group’s chef and seems to be really knowledgeable about nutritional values of food and such.

Yukie’s idol reference is Twice’s Momo.

Amanai Kanoka – Kanoka is the group’s other rapper and dancer, is in charge of the height of the group as she’s the tallest member, with Alisa coming in second. Another representative for anything athletic as she used to play volleyball before she joined and trained to be an idol. Has a cute and undeniable crush on a famous rapper Ryuu, which she cites as her major inspiration (actually his song is what she used for her audition).

Sonamoo’s NewSun is my idol reference for Kanoka.

Yachi Hitoka – Yachi is the group’s maknae and is a dependable all-rounder despite being the youngest, although she’s mostly vocals and sometimes, sub-rapper. She’s the only daughter of a famous designer so she’s somehow known in that particular circle but she wanted to make a name of her own, so she decided to train as an idol. Has a good eye for design and has had a hand in designing the group’s official logo and some of their album covers.

Since I can’t choose, I have two idol references for Yachi: IZ*ONE’s Yena and Twice’s Dahyun.

BONUS:

Tanaka Saeko – I really wanted to include Saeko in the group, but she’s a league of her own and can’t be tamed so I just made her a rapper/soloist that has a girl crush, hip-hop concept/genre from the same agency that manages the activities of the group which basically means collaboration can happen. Elder sister of the rapper Ryuu, and they started out as a duo especially during their Youtuber days, but they both wanted to be able to stand on their own, so they signed independently from each other. Produces and writes most of her songs, and is also a skilled instrumentalist, particularly drums, and is adept with playing taiko.

Think of 2NE1’s CL, as she’s my reference for idol Saeko. 

(Saeko-neesan be like: naega jeil jal naga~)

I’d really want their collab song to be 2NE1’s I Love You. I think that would be so rad.

Anyway, that’s it! There are more idol au HC’s here. 

[swankymikehanlon-blog]

La Vie En Rose (Hanbrough)

Pairing: Bill Denrough x Mike Hanlon

Words: 1,591

Warnings: More Fluff bitch

Poorly edited. :)

La Vie En Rose - Louis Armstrong

Bill Denbrough was a last minute kinda guy. He rarely had things done by the due date. Besides homework, of course he had to have his homework done by the due date, otherwise he’d fail. But he never could get stuff done before they needed to get done. For example, lets say gift shopping for his entire family. 

It was December 24, Christmas Eve, and Bill Denbrough had zero presents for anyone in his family. To say he was royally fucked was the statement of the year. He still had time, it was only 10 in the morning, but since it was in fact the day before a national holiday, the stores would be packed to the brim with other people like him. he currently wasn’t at the store, no here he was in Mike Hanlon’s room, sitting on his bed while Mike wrapped gifts.

He had spent the night, a surprise sleepover after the ‘Not-Holiday Related’ party Richie threw down at the quarry. It lasted till one a.m, Richie got drunk, Eddie and Stan had to help him in the car, Ben and Beverly cuddled on the dirt floor, and Mike sang Christmas Carols with no care in the world. Bill, well Bill watched Mike sing. His mouth was agape as Mike hit the highest of notes so carelessly and he could of sworn to hear Richie, drunkenly, say 

“Holy shit was that Mariah Carey?”

It was a fond memory, although it was just a few hours ago, Bill felt like it was months ago. Mike finished whatever gift he was wrapping and stood up, chair skidding backwards slightly. Bill smiled, blush rising on his cheeks when Mike smiled back at him. He had a crush on Mike, that was a fact. A positive thing Bill was sure of. So it was kind of the eighth wonder of the world that Bill hasn’t passed out fro sitting on Mike’s bed. 

“So, you plan on doing anything later today?” Mike put the gift on the edge of his desk and went to his closet to grab something that was out of Bill’s sight. Bill definitely had something to do. Get about a thousand gifts for everyone in his family and about a thousand more for Georgie. 

“Uh, yeah, I have to go get some m-m-more gifts for my f-fah-family.” Bill shrugged as Mike came out with a scarf in hand. It was the scarf he had given him from last year and the fact that Mike still had it warmed Bill’s heart. And face. Very vibrantly.

“You still have it?” Bill pointed to the red plaid scarf in Mike’s clutched hand. Mike looked down at it and smiled. He put it on and sat next to Bill, who was expecting him too.

“Yeah, well I mean, It was a gift from a pretty fantastic person, so...” Mike looked at Bill with a grin as he pushed Bill’s shoulder with his own. Bill was a tomato now. No doubt about it, from Mike’s pearly whites, his dazzling eyes, his hidden dimples along the outskirts of his mouth, and to top it all off, his lips. Oh. Man. His lips. They looked like a pair of soft pillows Bill’s lips would love to sleep on. 

“Anyway, I have to get some presents for my family too. Why don’t we go together?” Mike looked back at Bill who quickly looked away, afraid he would mess up and absentmindedly lean in. Bill nodded as he shuffled off the bed and put his boots on,

“Yeah, I’d l-luh-love to.” Mike smiled, for the billionth time in under 30 minutes. Making their way out of the Hanlon house, Mike and Bill sat in the old pickup truck that belonged to Mike’s grandfather. They waited for the engine to warm up, cold Derry air getting to every one and everything. Mike began to drive into town, the road seeming to gain ice sheets from the sky. Bill looked at Mike as he drove, Mike’s head nodding along with the music. In no time, both boys were in town, specifically by the coffee shop snug between a supplies store and a radio shack.

Coffee wasn’t on the agenda, but that didn’t stop Mike and Bill from stopping to get their fuel for the day. The coffee shop named ‘Smokey Rose’, really an odd name for a coffee shop, but had some of the best coffee in town. After getting a table by the window, Bill suggested he go up and order, for he and Mike. Mike smiled sheepishly and thanked Bill as he gave him a twenty dollar bill. Bill, being the chivalrous man he was, pushed the twenty away and said he’s pay for them both.

Standing in line was quite boring. The person in front of him couldn’t seem to make up his mind and when he finally did, he decided to change it. Bill didn’t want to groan, but it just came out and he received a look from the person in front of him. His eyes widened as he looked away, hoping to diffuse the situation before it went any farther. When the person in front of him finally ordered he was met by a boy his same age behind the cash register. 

“Oh hey Bill! How’s it going!” Hal Winston’s voice erupted in immense enthusiasm that Bill just didn’t have time for. Hal also happened to verbally discuss how cute Mike Hanlon was and Bill didn’t have time for that either.

“So, Hanlon’s with ya’ today huh?” Bill had to resist to roll his eyes. He never liked Hal. Not since that one time in ninth grade when he stole his entire pencil bag. Not since he said he liked Mike and thought he was the prettiest boy he’s ever seen.

“I’ll take two Vanilla Bean Frappes p-please.” Bill dismissed the question, resulting in a frowning Hal. Bill paid, pretending to notice the harsh movement Hal made when he grabbed the money. Bill moved over to the side, and waited for the drinks, turning back to see what Mike was doing. Mike sat, patiently, and looked out the window. Bill could only see the back of Mike’s head, smiling as Mike’s scarf peaked out from under the jacket he wore.

“Benny! Mike!” Hal’s voice ruptured Bill’s ear dum. He also wished his fist ruptured Hal’s face for calling him Benny. When Bill took the drinks, Hal had a smug look on his face as Mike looked over. Bill walked away, speed picking up for no reason at all.

“Did he just call you-”

“Benny? Y-y-yeah. I hate him.” Bill chuckled as Mike let out a hearty laugh. Mike opened his coffee cup, taking a whiff at the steaming liquid, and taking a small sip that was sure to burn his lips.

“Doesn’t that burn?” Bill looked at Mike with shock as he visibly shuddered. Mike snorted as he laughed. It did in fact burn, scorch, if we’re being more accurate.

“Yeah, but it’s something I always do when I drink coffee. It’s like a little tradition I do.” Bill nodded as he took a sip of his own. Mike paused, closing his eyes and sighing.

“You know, now that i say that out loud, i sound super lame and lonely.” Bill chocked on his own drink at Mike’s revelation. Mike wouldn’t help but smile at hi own self deprecating joke. 

“I don’t think it makes y-you lonely or la-l-lame.” Bill hadn’t noticed he scooted closer to Mike. Mike hadn’t noticed either, well, at least it looked like he hadn’t noticed. 

“Well, granted, I’m not lonely since you’re here. But I’m definitely lame.” Mike picked up a sugar package and threw it gently across the table. Bill sat, huddled, now only centimeters apart from Mike. It suddenly grew quiet, everyone else conversations were muffled. Bill felt a rush of confidence when he saw a drop of coffee trail down Mike’s lips. And before either of them know it, Bill’s kissing Mike. It’s like a movie, as if their a perfect music score playing in the background, convenient snow begins to fall outside and both boys are flustered.

That was their first kiss. Bill’s first kiss. Well he had kissed another boy, Eddie, by accident, it was on a dare, and it’s a long story, anyway moving on, this was Bill’s first, real, sober, kiss. He wondered if it had been Mike’s, but he knew the answer to that as Mike leaned in for more. It wasn’t sloppy as bill imagined, it was almost strategic.

Mike knew when to move his head to fit with Bill’s. Their noses brushing against each other with softness. And for what seemed like hours, was only 20 seconds. Bill’s lips were flushed and wet, as well as Mike’s, and suddenly Bill got super tired. He felt really floaty too, like he was on cloud nine. Mike felt super light too, his hands felt like they could leave and fly away. They sat there, in comfortable silence as the snow outside fell.

“Mike, it looks like a White Christmas doesn’t it?” Bill took a hold of Mike’s hand with no thought, feeling overcoming his brain. Mike didn’t mind though, he only squeezed his hand tighter. They both looked out the window, watching any individual snow flake that kissed the window.

“Most definitely Bill. Most Definitely.”

Though Bill and Mike held hands, and kissed, he had one small thought in the back of his devious little head.

I wonder if Hal saw.

[visionnepal3-blog]

Between Parturition and Manufacture

NOVEMBER 5, 2018

STEFANI GERMANOTTA is a hero of inauthenticity — a star of both invention, giving herself a stage name, Lady Gaga, that would never pass for a birth name, and reinvention, working her way through pop music genres and a succession of outlandish looks that refuse a fixed point of identity. She seems in line of succession to Cindy Sherman, David Bowie, and Madonna, with no doubt Joan Riviere and Judith Butler already mobilized in her name in many an academic quarter. Yet A Star Is Born is a property that wants to affirm authenticity.

There are more versions of it than the four films called A Star Is Born (from 1937, 1954, 1976, and 2018) and a radio version of the same name. The main elements are already in play in What Price Hollywood? (1932): the older alcoholic man whose career is on the skids, the younger female star, the fall of one against the rise of the other, ending in the man’s suicide. The only major change in the transition from What Price Hollywood? to A Star Is Born is the addition of sexual relationship or marriage between the two. What Price Hollywood? is itself a reworking of elements from the novel The Skyrocket (1925), made into a (now lost) film the following year: the rise and fall motif, the ingénue, the enabling man of power, the conflict (for the woman) between career and marriage. Between the 1976 and 2018 Hollywood versions, there were two Indian films to hit each of these plot points: 2013’s Aashiqui 2 (Romance 2) in Hindi and 2014’s Nee Jathaga Nenundali (I Want To Be Your Companion) in Telugu. The gay porn film The Light from the Second Story Window (1973) is sometimes referred to as a version, and there are very many films called things like A Porn Star is Born.

All versions in various ways worry away at the ambiguity in the most familiar title. What does it mean to say a star is “born”? The only time any of the films use the phrase is in the 1937 version, when Norman, the man who has discovered and championed Esther, says it to her after the premiere of her first film (where she now has her star name, Vicki). This is a straightforward colloquial usage, suggesting the way something may seem to suddenly appear. However, it leaves open the question of whether a star is someone indeed born with an innate star quality or whether stardom is something manufactured, a manipulation, an illusion. All versions want to hold on to some sense of the former, but they differ in the degree to which they see it as something that breaks through industrial cultural production uncontaminated and authentic. The Skyrocket unequivocally acknowledges that Sharon, a nothing special young woman outside the spotlight, comes to fascinating life before the camera, but it also emphasizes the role of the man, the director William Dvorak, in molding this creation: she may have no talent as an actress but “he could always trick her before the camera for the things he needed.” In the following versions, the idea of manipulation is played down. While there are scenes of the man Max (again a director) coaching the woman Mary in What Price Hollywood?, there is also a sequence in which, after a disastrous first shoot, she practices by herself all night so that the next day she delivers a mesmerizing performance in a tiny role. Certainly, when it comes to the rushes, it is clear that Mary is aided by editing and lighting, but still, it is she who glows.

Mary’s overnight labor on her performance suggests that her stardom is not (like Sharon’s) just a happy accident of presence before the camera. However, like Sharon and Esther in the 1937 Star, there is also a sense that all she wants to be is “a star.” None of them talk about acting. What Price Hollywood? has Mary dressing herself from the fan magazines and putting her own face in place of Garbo’s in a double spread with Clark Gable, and 1937 Star opens with Esther coming home dreamily after seeing a Norman Maine movie and avidly reading the fan magazines; they all just want to be “in pictures.” There’s none of this in the 1954 and subsequent versions. Of course Esther (1954, 1976), Aarohi (Aashiqui 2), and Lady Gaga’s Ally (2018) want success, but there is also a sense of their sheer love of performing — they’re longtime professionals who have finally gotten noticed. In each case, a sequence shows them singing in an unprestigious locale, establishing their exceptional, but as yet undiscovered, talent and quality. The starmakers are now actors or singers, who can open doors for their discovery but are not in a position to shape them. The film and music industry are seen as obstructive to varying degrees, but this is just what the star has to break through: authenticity will out.

The move away from an awareness of the manipulation, or at the least the role of others and technology, in the production of stars toward a wholehearted embrace of a notion of transparent star quality is aided by the role of men and black people. One of the things that most struck me about the new A Star Is Born was how very male it is. There are fleeting glimpses of comedienne Luenell, singers Brandi Carlile and Halsey, an engaging but brief appearance by Rebecca Field as Gail, an aide to the man here, Jackson Maine, and his childhood friend Noodles has a wife (Drena De Niro), but the only sustained representations of the female, apart from Ally, are the drag queens in the bar where Jackson first sees Ally. With these, the film plays on the paradox of a swaggering, often muscly masculinity being adorned with sequins, lip gloss, and baroque hand gestures, the male beneath the feminine accoutrements emphasized by having Ally perform there, an assertion of a non-paradoxical alignment of body and adornment. She sings “La Vie en Rose,” a song made famous by the ne plus ultra of raw expressivity, Édith Piaf, but covered more recently by another pop performance artist, Grace Jones. The song positions Ally between the performativity that has made Gaga famous and the expressive self that the film wants us to credit her with. It also completes the salute to the queer culture that Gaga has allied herself with — a tribute that began in the film with Ally singing a snatch of the verse to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”; now the film, Ally, and perhaps Gaga can move on. When Ally makes forays into the kind of glam femme artifice that made Gaga famous, Jackson is contemptuous and the film shoots from behind television cameras and cuts away as soon as it decently can. By the end of the film, she has left queerdom behind.

Ally (Stefani Germanotta) is positioned between the performativity that has made Gaga famous and the expressive self that the film wants us to credit her with.

Not only does this A Star Is Born sideline women (despite its central star and protagonist), it is also bursting with masculine maleness. The film opens with Jackson Maine in concert, his country rock among the most virile of authenticity musical genres (and the band used in the film is named Promise of the Real). Neither he nor Ally has mothers anymore. She has a father who hangs out with his taxi driver chums (all men), plays opera, and venerates Frank Sinatra. It’s a cheerful background and we learn no more, and she seems to have no women friends or colleagues. Jackson, who has the fuller backstory and attendant occasions for melodrama, with a brother-manager old enough to be his father, anguishes over the destruction of his drunken father’s grave and hard-drinking, hard-driving habits. The screen treatment of Ally’s performances cuts back to him — his pleasure, his drunkenness — and her final affirmative performance, for the first time giving herself a surname, his, with a song he wrote that declares she’ll never love again.

Earlier versions of the story have also had few women in them other than the star who is born. It is the incandescence of the star who played each one that distracted attention away from the lack of other women. There is even something of a progression through the various versions, as men gradually eclipse women. This may have something to do with the decreasing involvement of women in their making. Adela Rogers St. Johns, a successful journalist well connected to Hollywood, wrote The Skyrocket and the original story for What Price Hollywood? Dorothy Parker contributed to the script of the 1937 Star and Joan Didion to the 1976. Judy Garland was the driving force behind the radio version, although she had to wait until she left MGM and married Sid Luft to get the 1954 film made. Barbra Streisand was an even more decisive driving force behind the 1976 version.

The Skyrocket has a best friend, helpful wardrobe and make-up artist, rival and supportive stars and ex-stars, all women. While Max in What Price Hollywood? is a magnetic male figure (whose lack of apparent sexual interest in Mary, together with prissy mannerisms, might suggest him as queer), the film keeps Mary center screen. And though much of the drama focuses on both her gratitude toward and need to get away from Max, there is also a well- (some say too well-) developed plot concerning her marriage to a playboy. In the 1937 Star, Esther’s parents and brother make fun of her fandom, but it is her grandmother, a pioneer woman who compares Hollywood to the frontier, who understands Esther’s aspirations, lends her the money to go to Hollywood, and then, at the end of the film, after Norman’s suicide, persuades her to go back to work.

In the 1954 Star, attention is more or less equal between the man and the woman, but later versions build on the melodrama of his troubles, providing him with more screen time and backstory. One index of this is the presentation of his death. Norman Maine in 1937 and 1954 wades into the sea and drowns off screen, as if easefully swallowed by the watery element; John in 1976 kills himself in a car crash and Rahul in Aashiqui 2 throws himself of a bridge, both in drawn-out dramatic sequences; in 2018, more discreetly but horribly, Jackson hangs himself.

In 1954’s “A Star Is Born,” Esther Blodgett (Judy Garland) peers around a mirror to observe the men coordinating her transformation into Vicki Lester.

It might be objected that the films do no more than reflect the fact that most of the powerful roles in Hollywood and the music industry have been occupied by men. Occasionally there does seem to be an awareness of this. In the 1937 Star, men discuss what name to give Esther, in front of her but without consulting her, and others worry over the qualities of her face. The latter idea is developed in the 1954 version, where three make-up men stand around Esther on the morning of her screen test, wondering what to do with her unsatisfactory face. The composition features mirrors within mirrors that Esther has, as it were, to peer round as the men discuss the problem, herself unable to get a word in edgeways. The men produce her as a pink amalgamation of a number of other stars, unrecognizable to Norman when he comes to pick her up. Yet such perceptive moments are rare and nowhere to be found in the later versions.

Men change women’s names in more than one way. The studios make Esther Blodgett “Vicki Lester” in 1937 and 1954, while bridegrooms make Mary Evans “Mrs. Lonny Borden” in What Price Hollywood?, Esther/Vicki “Mrs. Albert Henkel” in 1937, and “Mrs. Ernest Gubbins” in 1954 (Norman Maine’s birth name respectively in the two films). The films play on the tensions between these names. Being treated as Mr. Evans or Mr. Lester is wounding. After Norman’s suicide, Esther/Vicki makes her first public appearance proudly announcing she is “Mrs. Norman Maine,” effectively subsuming her identity in both that of her husband and the film industry that gave him his name. In 1976, Esther refuses to have her name, Hoffman, changed, a gesture as much to do with not eclipsing a Jewish identity as female autonomy, but she does, after John’s suicide, announce herself as “Esther Hoffman Howard,” a common gesture that nonetheless parades a woman’s connection to a man in a context where the man rather seldom does the same vice versa. In 2018, Ally has a surname for the first time in the film, when, after Jackson’s suicide, she is announced as “Ally Maine.” Only in Aashiqui 2 does the question of the woman’s name not come up, neither from the studios nor from Rahul, since they do not marry.

Esther (Barbra Streisand) in 1976’s “A Star Is Born” performs in a trio called the Oreos.

In What Price Hollywood? Mary has a black maid, Bonita (Louise Beavers, who had played the black support for a white career woman in the 1934 Imitation of Life), whom she treats casually even as Bonita attends to Mary’s material and cosmetic needs. In 1954, black dancers are briefly seen, leaping with tambourines or performing a crooked walk, in the “Swanee” routine in the “Born in a Trunk” number, a routine celebrating, in time-honored fashion, a Southern white homeland with marginalized and merry blacks. Later, in “Lose That Long Face,” a number cut from the original release, Esther is dressed like a street urchin and dances between two black kids. In 1976, Esther is first encountered as lead singer between two black women in a trio called the Oreos, a naming decision which I won’t even begin to try to unpack; the first word of their number is “black” (sung only by Esther/Streisand, with a near-Afro hairdo alongside her African-American back-ups’ relaxed styling). In 2018, Jackson’s school friend Noodles (yes, well) is black, and it is he and his black wife who encourage Jackson and Ally to marry and in the former’s local black church. This shift from servant to terpsichorean and musical support to emotional, even spiritual validation suggests that in telling this story it is hard quite to let go of, or exactly to acknowledge, the role of African Americans in securing the material, rhythmic, and affective authenticity of white Americans. Perhaps Esther’s grandmother in the 1937 Star is not all wrong when she compares Hollywood to the frontier.

Nearly all versions of the story have the moment in which the man sees the woman in performance for the first time. It’s the moment when the man — and we — must be convinced the woman is the real deal, has “that little something extra,” as Norman says in 1954. From 1954 on, that moment is a song, and in all cases they do not perform their own material and what they sing has nothing to do with what is happening in the story at that point. “The Man that Got Away,” the big torch song hit of the 1954 version, has no relation that we know of with Esther’s past and everything to do with her skill and pleasure in singing, signaled by this emotionally desperate number ending with her smiling and laughing with her fellow musicians. Later, Esther, in deep despair at Norman’s self-destructive drinking, pours out her sorrows to the studio boss, but in between takes of the upbeat “Lose That Long Face” that is the antithesis of what she is feeling.

The following Stars close that gap between self and performance. This is partly signaled extra-textually: it is widely known that Streisand part-composed the songs she sings in 1976 and that Gaga was even more involved in the composition of the 2018 songs. Their characters in each film also write, to varying extents, the songs they sing. This conflates tropes from the musical biopic — where the song expresses the person’s inner self and also what they are feeling at the moment of composing and/or performing — with the mythos of the singer-songwriter. (The cover of Carole King’s LP Tapestry is prominent on Ally’s bedroom wall.) Potentially, then, the Star Is Born template, and the ambiguity of that title, lends itself to exploration of the strange tension between self and performance in cultural production since romanticism, and even more so in conditions of industrial, capital-intensive and now digital production. However, in different ways, both the premeditated quality of Streisand’s performance style, evident in every spontaneous wisecrack and affective grimace, and Gaga’s chameleonic theatricality sit uneasily with this.

In Aashiqui 2, the song at the moment of discovery is by Rahul and he later tells Aarohi that she sang it better than he has and that he “never felt any of my songs like this.” As she sings it she looks at a large portrait on the wall of Lata Mangeshkar, uncontested as the greatest playback singer in Hindi cinema; Rahul notices this and later tells Aarohi it was this that made him realize that she, Aarohi, wanted to be a singer. In fact, Shraddha Kapoor, who plays Aarohi, is sung for by three different singers: within the fiction of the film, the voice belongs to her and makes her special enough to be considered alongside Lata, but, to a culturally incompetent viewer at any rate, there is something giddying when in the film we see Aarohi/Kapoor recording a soundtrack to be dubbed for another actress when the voice we hear is anyway not Kapoor’s. At this moment, Aashiqui 2 seems to register the problematic of self and performance.

In the 1954 Star, we see the end of the screening of Vicki’s first film. “Swanee” comes to a climax and theater curtains close on it; the lead singer steps through the curtains, thanks the audience for the applause, and then, in the “Born in a Trunk” number, tells her life story, illustrated by danced and sung moments culminating in the just seen “Swanee” number, which then, as the curtains close, dissolves back to the singer bringing the song to an end. But who is this and whose story? Vicki, who has only recently been invented by the studio? The character she plays in the film, about whom we know nothing? Esther? Judy Garland? A change of framing near the beginning of the sequence shifts it from being something more evidently a film within a film to something apparently taking place in a theater and addressed to — whom? The theater audience? The audience in the film (including Esther) watching the film? Us? These ambiguities are in part a result of the whole piece being added under a different director after the film had supposedly been completed, but it also catches the shifting ontological levels of stardom — real person, star image, character — that run through both this film and the whole star phenomenon. Lady Gaga would seem to be the perfect performer to play more fully on such complexities, but it is not the road that the film, or she, has chosen to go down. Rather than a celebration of female image-manufacture, we have the fantasy of male parturition and the lure of authenticity. A film for our times.

¤

Richard Dyer is Professor Emeritus at King’s College and Honorary Professor at St Andrews’s, and a Fellow of the British Academy. His books include Stars, Heavenly Bodies, White, The Culture of Queers, Pastiche, In the Space of a Song, Lethal Repetition, and La dolce vita.

Source: https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/between-parturition-and-manufacture/

[glenngaylord]

THAT 70s MOVIE - My Review of A STAR IS BORN (4 1/2 Stars)

There’s no way around the fact that despite some shortcomings here and there, Bradley Cooper’s directorial debut with A STAR IS BORN is a triumph for everyone involved and truly filled with greatness.  For everyone who complains that “they don’t make ‘em like that anymore”, who miss films which take their time building relationships and give their actors room to breathe, who appreciate the scale and grandeur of Hollywood films, then this intimate epic will serve as a perfect antidote for all of the soul-deadening CGI drivel passing as movies these days.  Yes, Marvel, I’m talking to you!

Sure, this is a remake four times over of a melodramatic “one rises while the other one falls” tale, and most will agree the 1954 George Cukor version starring Judy Garland and James Mason is the most definitive, but this latest version has its own uniquely fizzy charms. Set in the music world much like the 1976 Barbra Streisand/Kris Kristofferson debacle, Cooper and his co-writers, Eric Roth and Will Fetters, seem to have specifically remade that film and turned it into something much more special.  He uses the same boilerplate, the same bubble bath makeover of our male lead, and even the same, “I just wanted to take another look at you” line.  They’re worth stealing, even though that film had more problems than not.  In the Barbra version, I wasn’t even convinced that she and Kristofferson had ever met, so non-existent was their chemistry.  That film will always have “Evergreen”, but this one will be known as the one that launched Cooper as a very fine director and showed off Lady Gaga, in her feature debut, as a charming, endearing, ballsy, sensitive, natural screen actor.  

Eschewing the horrors of Kristofferson’s opening number, “Watch Closely Now”, Cooper opens the film with his aging addict country rock star, Jackson Maine, executing a very credible Pearl Jam-esque song.  Cinematographer Matthew Libatique (BLACK SWAN) shoots close and loose, allowing the viewer to feel the concert from the star’s POV.  On the limo ride from the concert, Jackson runs out of alcohol and persuades his driver to pull over at a gay bar.  It’s drag night, and Ally (Lady Gaga), who works as a cater-waiter and has just dumped her boyfriend, is about to perform.  Her BFF, Ramon (a charming, guileless Anthony Ramos), befriends Jackson and prepares him for her appearance.  Et voila, out comes Gaga with glued-on eyebrows dancing across the bar singing “La Vie En Rose”.  She lies down and turns to face Jackson in one of those unforgettable movie moments, and we’re off to the races.  

Enchanted by her, Jackson, drunk but still able to fixate on Ally, spends an entire night with her, asking questions, adoring her nose, talking about what’s important to them, and getting blown away by her talent when she sings a song to him.  It’s all done so naturalistically, giving us a budding relationship beat by delicious beat.  It felt so alien to me, the kind of storytelling only seen in indies anymore, where character is king. In fact, it felt like a 70s movie, more specifically a Hal Ashby film with a little bit of Cameron Crowe’s 70s-set ALMOST FAMOUS thrown in there.  There’s a comfortable, hippie vibe to everything.  Jackson Maine may as well have been Jackson Browne.  Carole King’s TAPESTRY album graces Ally’s bedroom walls as vinyl records and turntables seem to populate everyone’s living room.  Except for a specific reference to YOUTUBE and a lovely, accepting drag sequence (great scene-scene-stealing work from Shangela and Willam Belli here), A STAR IS BORN sits comfortably in the Me Decade.  

Like the character he plays, Cooper the filmmaker seems dazzled by his star and allows us so many visual moments where we get to discover something new and great about her.  From the grace note where he runs his finger down her nose as her eyes turn towards him with a look of incredulity, to the truly transcendent moment she takes the stage to sing “Shallow”, where every emotion washes across her face, ending in the most adorable button at the end when she squeals, “There are so many people!”. By now, at this stage in her career, Lady Gaga could be the most jaded person on the planet, but clearly she remembers where she came from, exuding the freshness and innocence the role requires.  It also necessitates a lot of scrappiness, which she rises to the occasion with scenes in a grocery store, a bar, or simply by defending herself while in a bathtub.  Not surprisingly, Gaga shines in the music sequences, which feature a host of memorable songs.  Before her character transforms into a pop star not unlike her own persona at the beginning of her career, she pours her heart into genres we’re not used to experience with her, and she’s blazing.  Cooper also deserves accolades for his singing and ease at portraying a musician.  Too many actors have failed to do so without looking silly, but Cooper captures the details perfectly.  It’s how he walks through this world that sold me.  You believe how he sits on a stool to perform without being able to see the crowd or hear anything above the mic feedback.  You buy how he stumbles drunkenly across a hotel room floor.  When he sings a song to Willam, your heart melts for this kind but troubled soul.  

Cooper also gets a wonderful supporting turn from Sam Elliot as his Manager/Brother, Jackson’s resentful, shame-filled caretaker who, despite the constant turmoil, loves Jackson deeply.  A simple of shot of Elliot driving away from Jackson’s house, the car in reverse as he looks back with an entire history filling his teary eyes, took what could have been a nothing moment and makes it gut-wrenching.  Andrew Dice Clay, as Ally’s father, also delivers a world class performance, suggesting with great economy his own struggles with show biz dreams and his rage at Jackson despite an obvious fondness.  His scenes with Lady Gaga bring out her feistiness and sweetness.  David Chappelle, in a too brief role as Jackson’s lifelong friend, brings such warmth and history to his part.  I would have loved more.  Rafi Gavron, in the impossible role as Ally’s shark of a Manager, manages to find a caring person in there, despite some of the “this is just business” approach to his job.  It’s tricky and well-realized.  The fact that he does something so unforgivable and never suffers the consequences rings so true, especially today, where deplorable behavior gets rewarded with, say, high positions within our government, as one example.  

Some of A STAR IS BORN feels a little choppy, especially in the second half, where it feels like many scenes fell by the wayside.  Sequences lurch where they should build.  It’s a minor complaint, as some of the jumps work so effectively, none more so than when Jackson takes a corporate pharmaceutical gig and we cut to an abrupt shot of him smashing some pills with his boot and snorting them up wholesale.  

Cooper and his editor, Jay Cassidy (AMERICAN HUSTLE), cover up some of the story holes with an elliptical style used, shocker of all shockers, in a lot of 70s films.  I loved the edit when Jackson is just about to perform “Maybe It’s Time” for the third time in the film, and instead we cut to a profile of Jackson as he watches a distorted silhouette of Ally practicing her choreography in the background.  This film is filled with such visual language and count me very impressed.  Without spoiling anything, this technique produces a stunner at the very end of the film, cutting away from an overpoweringly emotional Ally moment to something so simple and sublime, and then back to a beautiful closeup, all of which made me cry not only at the sadness on display but also at the sheer perfection of the filmmaking.  One could easily walk away from A STAR IS BORN and say it’s a film about addiction, or it’s about artistic voices and integrity.  All valid.  I, however, will look back at this remarkable achievement and remember it as a moment where Hollywood took back its crown and put out a big, spanking movie movie.  

[swankymikehanlon-blog]

if you don't mind could you maybe write a little something about bill and mike's first kiss because honestly hanbrough is my shit THANK YOU

FUCK YEAH, LET ME WRITE THAT AND GET IT UP FOR TOMORROW! yAYY! (Maybe even tonight, since currently I’m writing a kasplon thing, and who knows, maybe kasplon and hanbrough in the same night!!!)

La Vie En Rose (Hanbrough)

Pairing: Bill Denrough x Mike Hanlon

Words: 1,591

Warnings: More Fluff bitch

Poorly edited. :)

La Vie En Rose - Louis Armstrong

Bill Denbrough was a last minute kinda guy. He rarely had things done by the due date. Besides homework, of course he had to have his homework done by the due date, otherwise he’d fail. But he never could get stuff done before they needed to get done. For example, lets say gift shopping for his entire family.

It was December 24, Christmas Eve, and Bill Denbrough had zero presents for anyone in his family. To say he was royally fucked was the statement of the year. He still had time, it was only 10 in the morning, but since it was in fact the day before a national holiday, the stores would be packed to the brim with other people like him. he currently wasn’t at the store, no here he was in Mike Hanlon’s room, sitting on his bed while Mike wrapped gifts.

He had spent the night, a surprise sleepover after the ‘Not-Holiday Related’ party Richie threw down at the quarry. It lasted till one a.m, Richie got drunk, Eddie and Stan had to help him in the car, Ben and Beverly cuddled on the dirt floor, and Mike sang Christmas Carols with no care in the world. Bill, well Bill watched Mike sing. His mouth was agape as Mike hit the highest of notes so carelessly and he could of sworn to hear Richie, drunkenly, say

“Holy shit was that Mariah Carey?”

It was a fond memory, although it was just a few hours ago, Bill felt like it was months ago. Mike finished whatever gift he was wrapping and stood up, chair skidding backwards slightly. Bill smiled, blush rising on his cheeks when Mike smiled back at him. He had a crush on Mike, that was a fact. A positive thing Bill was sure of. So it was kind of the eighth wonder of the world that Bill hasn’t passed out fro sitting on Mike’s bed.

“So, you plan on doing anything later today?” Mike put the gift on the edge of his desk and went to his closet to grab something that was out of Bill’s sight. Bill definitely had something to do. Get about a thousand gifts for everyone in his family and about a thousand more for Georgie.

“Uh, yeah, I have to go get some m-m-more gifts for my f-fah-family.” Bill shrugged as Mike came out with a scarf in hand. It was the scarf he had given him from last year and the fact that Mike still had it warmed Bill’s heart. And face. Very vibrantly.

“You still have it?” Bill pointed to the red plaid scarf in Mike’s clutched hand. Mike looked down at it and smiled. He put it on and sat next to Bill, who was expecting him too.

“Yeah, well I mean, It was a gift from a pretty fantastic person, so...” Mike looked at Bill with a grin as he pushed Bill’s shoulder with his own. Bill was a tomato now. No doubt about it, from Mike’s pearly whites, his dazzling eyes, his hidden dimples along the outskirts of his mouth, and to top it all off, his lips. Oh. Man. His lips. They looked like a pair of soft pillows Bill’s lips would love to sleep on.

“Anyway, I have to get some presents for my family too. Why don’t we go together?” Mike looked back at Bill who quickly looked away, afraid he would mess up and absentmindedly lean in. Bill nodded as he shuffled off the bed and put his boots on,

“Yeah, I’d l-luh-love to.” Mike smiled, for the billionth time in under 30 minutes. Making their way out of the Hanlon house, Mike and Bill sat in the old pickup truck that belonged to Mike’s grandfather. They waited for the engine to warm up, cold Derry air getting to every one and everything. Mike began to drive into town, the road seeming to gain ice sheets from the sky. Bill looked at Mike as he drove, Mike’s head nodding along with the music. In no time, both boys were in town, specifically by the coffee shop snug between a supplies store and a radio shack.

Coffee wasn’t on the agenda, but that didn’t stop Mike and Bill from stopping to get their fuel for the day. The coffee shop named ‘Smokey Rose’, really an odd name for a coffee shop, but had some of the best coffee in town. After getting a table by the window, Bill suggested he go up and order, for he and Mike. Mike smiled sheepishly and thanked Bill as he gave him a twenty dollar bill. Bill, being the chivalrous man he was, pushed the twenty away and said he’s pay for them both.

Standing in line was quite boring. The person in front of him couldn’t seem to make up his mind and when he finally did, he decided to change it. Bill didn’t want to groan, but it just came out and he received a look from the person in front of him. His eyes widened as he looked away, hoping to diffuse the situation before it went any farther. When the person in front of him finally ordered he was met by a boy his same age behind the cash register.

“Oh hey Bill! How’s it going!” Hal Winston’s voice erupted in immense enthusiasm that Bill just didn’t have time for. Hal also happened to verbally discuss how cute Mike Hanlon was and Bill didn’t have time for that either.

“So, Hanlon’s with ya’ today huh?” Bill had to resist to roll his eyes. He never liked Hal. Not since that one time in ninth grade when he stole his entire pencil bag. Not since he said he liked Mike and thought he was the prettiest boy he’s ever seen.

“I’ll take two Vanilla Bean Frappes p-please.” Bill dismissed the question, resulting in a frowning Hal. Bill paid, pretending to notice the harsh movement Hal made when he grabbed the money. Bill moved over to the side, and waited for the drinks, turning back to see what Mike was doing. Mike sat, patiently, and looked out the window. Bill could only see the back of Mike’s head, smiling as Mike’s scarf peaked out from under the jacket he wore.

“Benny! Mike!” Hal’s voice ruptured Bill’s ear dum. He also wished his fist ruptured Hal’s face for calling him Benny. When Bill took the drinks, Hal had a smug look on his face as Mike looked over. Bill walked away, speed picking up for no reason at all.

“Did he just call you-”

“Benny? Y-y-yeah. I hate him.” Bill chuckled as Mike let out a hearty laugh. Mike opened his coffee cup, taking a whiff at the steaming liquid, and taking a small sip that was sure to burn his lips.

“Doesn’t that burn?” Bill looked at Mike with shock as he visibly shuddered. Mike snorted as he laughed. It did in fact burn, scorch, if we’re being more accurate.

“Yeah, but it’s something I always do when I drink coffee. It’s like a little tradition I do.” Bill nodded as he took a sip of his own. Mike paused, closing his eyes and sighing.

“You know, now that i say that out loud, i sound super lame and lonely.” Bill chocked on his own drink at Mike’s revelation. Mike wouldn’t help but smile at hi own self deprecating joke.

“I don’t think it makes y-you lonely or la-l-lame.” Bill hadn’t noticed he scooted closer to Mike. Mike hadn’t noticed either, well, at least it looked like he hadn’t noticed.

“Well, granted, I’m not lonely since you’re here. But I’m definitely lame.” Mike picked up a sugar package and threw it gently across the table. Bill sat, huddled, now only centimeters apart from Mike. It suddenly grew quiet, everyone else conversations were muffled. Bill felt a rush of confidence when he saw a drop of coffee trail down Mike’s lips. And before either of them know it, Bill’s kissing Mike. It’s like a movie, as if their a perfect music score playing in the background, convenient snow begins to fall outside and both boys are flustered.

That was their first kiss. Bill’s first kiss. Well he had kissed another boy, Eddie, by accident, it was on a dare, and it’s a long story, anyway moving on, this was Bill’s first, real, sober, kiss. He wondered if it had been Mike’s, but he knew the answer to that as Mike leaned in for more. It wasn’t sloppy as bill imagined, it was almost strategic.

Mike knew when to move his head to fit with Bill’s. Their noses brushing against each other with softness. And for what seemed like hours, was only 20 seconds. Bill’s lips were flushed and wet, as well as Mike’s, and suddenly Bill got super tired. He felt really floaty too, like he was on cloud nine. Mike felt super light too, his hands felt like they could leave and fly away. They sat there, in comfortable silence as the snow outside fell.

“Mike, it looks like a White Christmas doesn’t it?” Bill took a hold of Mike’s hand with no thought, feeling overcoming his brain. Mike didn’t mind though, he only squeezed his hand tighter. They both looked out the window, watching any individual snow flake that kissed the window.

“Most definitely Bill. Most Definitely.”

Though Bill and Mike held hands, and kissed, he had one small thought in the back of his devious little head.

I wonder if Hal saw.

I will be posting this seperatly from this ask so it looks cleaner but yeah, here it is anon! I hope you like!