#I just gotta save for topaz

[wxndswept]

I'm not rolling for her I'm not rolling for her I'm not rolling for her I'm not rolling for her-

[theoldoor]

commission so good you make fanart outta it BRO

aventurine is literally my art meth cuz wtf do u mean I DID THIS IN 10 MINUTES???

i gotta wait until the comm actually finishes cuz this is done based on the almost finalized version AND IM ALREADY GIDDIED UP AS HELL AAAAUUHHH

domestic vashrir/avenrir save me…. domestic avenrir….. oooooohhuhuhuhuhhh

(ART COMMISSION FROM LAKE19907 ON TWT/TIKTOK PLS GO COMM THEM THEYRE THE SWEETEST RAAGGGH)

Fenrir is the domestic guy. Awfully domestic that is - IP3 honorary member LMFAO

I just like to think the four flock to Aventurine’s house sometimes to have a little dinner together. More often when Fenrir comes around cuz yk how that man values quality time together. Well, he’d be the orchestrator of the cooking part - or just the only one who cooks. Aventurine will prepare the plates and cutleries + drinks while Topaz takes care of the dessert. Dr Ratio? He’ll clean the room and the table. Everyone has a role… omgfmgmg domestic IP3… im sicCCCKKKK

A little mishap happens once in a while, like this time Fenrir flipped the egg and forgot to catch it and yk who always clean up his shit. hell yea dr ratio ure the goat.

(fenrir got a beating afterwards)

[tau1tvec]

How the heckies do you get your sims faces to look so smooth? You gotta give us a tutorial or something!

I try to use skins that are smooth to begin with, or will edit them in PS to get them to look smoother and more “cartoony”.

Other things I use:

Screenshotting in higher resolution for better quality, and saving them as PNG’s.

Deband shader in Gshade.

Oil Paint and Topaz Clean Filters in Photoshop.

Other tools in Photoshop, like smudge brush, and clone brush, sometimes I’ll just completely repaint an entire spot if the clipping and artifacts bothers me that much.

The amount of editing I put into my screenshots also varies, for ex my gameplay shots are much more simplified.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

OC in 15: Kira Sato

rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

thx for the tag!!! @topaz-carbuncle

YOOO THE WAY I GOT SO EXCITED TO DUST OFF MY OC

anyway, i screwed around with the raildex universe and created an oc based off that. unfortunately none of this is published because i basically rewrote the entire thing to the point that it's like in a place where it's not original fiction but also not *quite* fanfiction anymore

1) ���How does it feel, hmm? To have someone wrap their fist around your heart? Don’t be prepared to dish out pain unless you’re willing to receive it.” Upon seeing his lack of a response, she slightly tilted her head. “I wasn’t able to do Blood Flow before. You and your ‘sensei’ knew that better than anyone, but ever since you attacked me, I’ve only been able to control one medium at a time. Man, I was pissed, but it turns out I have more control if I’m only controlling one. I was never able to do this before, but now thanks to you, I can. Do you understand what’s about to come next?” 

2) “I’m killing again for the sake of this power.” Now that they were dead, the grief returned. She leaned back against a wall, sliding down, her head buried in her hands. “The only way to repay them is to perfect my power. I need to get stronger so I can protect them. Yes, that’s the only way to make sure they didn’t die in vain.”

3) “Oh? So you were wanting to kill me. I should kill you a million times for that, you know!” she yelled out as she squeezed down on her neck. “My abilities let me heal, you fucking idiot. If you’re gonna try to kill me, you gotta make sure you finish the job.”

4) “I really did expect just a little bit more of a challenge from you. The times that I’ve fought next to you were quite amazing. Really, they were. It’s amazing how befuddled people get when they realize that your right hand can cancel out abilities. The only thing with me is that I know how to counter that right hand of yours. After you take that out of the equation, what else do you have left? What else can you do?” Kira gave him a gentle smile. “You made a good effort. You made a really good effort. So it’s about time you had a rest!”

5) “I’m not the type of person that saves people.”

6) “I’m not a good person,” she whispered. “I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, I-”

7) “We’ve played this song and dance before and to be honest, your track record isn’t working in your favor. The only way you’re getting out of this is to tell me where she is and maybe, just maybe, I’ll kill you quickly.” 

8) “If I have to forget who I am to save her, I will,” Kira said with an empty look in her eyes.

9) "...monster I was always meant to be. That's right. Kihara Kenkyuu had always said that something was special about me. Takaki Yoshi said that my abilities were different. Maybe I really am a monster."

10) "Do you want to live or die? It’s your choice. That damned Kihara Seigo might have made it so that I can’t control who the hell I kill when I touch them, but that’s a different case with you, isn’t it?” Kira currently held up one of the Hound Dog lackeys that was unfortunate enough to have gotten separated from the rest.

11) “Do you ever shut up?” spat out Kira to silence the man. She grabbed the piece of steel stabbing into the man. “What a pain in the ass. Just asking me to kill you is too vague. I’ll move this thing around to tear your insides to pieces if you keep going down this route.”

12) “Do you really think there is any path left that will save you? After living in this world, trampling on so many people, and making enemies of me and that bastard Kihara Seigo, do you really think you can still live a happy life? That’s bullshit and you know it. You’re utter trash. How many people have you killed?” 

13) “Oh? Then you need a hospital,” continued the Level 5 with a grin. “Of course, I could heal you, but-” Kira shrugged and then looked towards him with scorn. “You idiots took that control away from me. So it looks like there’s no salvation for you here, but you won’t die. Not this easily. I’ll make sure your suffering lasts. Keep living on that hopeless path of life so I can relieve some stress.”

14) “Sorry about that,” Kira said with an uninterested look on her face. “I swore to a certain someone that I wouldn’t be participating in this shit anymore, but it looks like I fucked up.” A laugh leaked out. “You see, if I had my abilities, I probably could have ‘adjusted’ the trajectory of the shell so that it would’ve landed in your leg and removed your ability to walk temporarily or something like that. But oh wait,” Kira looked at the woman with a mocking expression. “You fucks took that away. Karma really is a bitch, you know.”

15) “Sorry,” apologized Kira while cutting her off. “I may be trying to walk on the path of good now, but you lot really pissed me off. I just can’t rest peacefully without finishing the job.”

tagging writer moots :3 (sorry if you don't have oc's or reader lines to use ksjdflskdjf): @chaotic-on-main @leviismybby @lucysarah-c @jayteacups @the-traveling-poet @sixpennydame @flametrashira @kingkonoha @wyvernslovecake @peachdues @postwarlevi + anyone else that wants to show off their oc's!

[blackthorn-legion-irl]

welcome to Team Mall Santas Save The World i guess.

//picrew source link

yeah if angy's gonna make me dress up i'm at LEAST taking a photo of him being a mall santa too. and pixie's just vibing. (i swear if people just try and flirt with him. simon started as a joke and it's. actually kinda funny but---)

anyway. tl;dr i've gotta be on this job for a while. it's a long story, but i won't be online as much for... about a month if i'm guessing? i'll probably be on for least a bit every day, so i can get to messages and pings and stuff in okay time, but can't guarantee much else... probably will just queue some cute stuff when i see it.

so uh. yeah. stay safe out there, if you need anything that's not time-sensitive (or is something i can just run in the background) let me know, all that sorta thing.

//ooc under the cut

so this is an ic explanation for me not being around much for the next month. ooc i'm going on holiday and visiting my partner but blackthorn's aroace so get wrecked she has to dress as a reindeer B) i can post a more detailed ic explanation if asked, but since this is an overall explanatory post i want to make it also be viable for people who ignore multiversal stuff (pixie can easily just be her name and the wings dress-up so)

i'll probably be /technically/ online a lot more than she is, but not necessarily responsive. i don't know if tumblr says you're online if you have the tab open but haven't touched it in a bit, so if you need an answer to something more urgently feel free to drop me a dm on the main @demifiendcruithne since i'll be more likely to be checking in on there, or on discord if you got me

some preemptive approval for 'hey i talked to blackthorn and got this going' interactions, only request is that you do ping me in the post so i see it

basic talking to a friend about issues to try and work through it if there's no one around to or you'd rather not RP it with someone

basic hacking requests so long as they fit her ethics (for example, tracking down people causing Actual Trouble / who are lost, or getting dirt to blackmail the cops)

any hacking requests from the following people as we've interacted enough that they'd know if it fits, this includes 'hey could you help out my friend' even if i don't know said friend:

· · anyone involved in taskforce distortion (including pyrite and topaz even though they're not members just hang out in the chat)

· · any member of the pokemart household (ESPECIALLY if it involves rescuing nya)

· · sprite, indigo, kittsu (since we hung out. void and andrea OK too)

· · i am probably forgetting people and i am sorry about that. if you ask something and i'm like 'oh yeah i thought you were on the list' consider yourself on it

legion interactions: requesting things such as: homemade bread and soup, cooling pads, baby poochy pictures; dimensional travellers stopping by if they need somewhere to rest (this explicitly includes nya. yes you can mention hecking with simon)

probably more i'm overlooking, but - if it's not 'i need this immediately' then i should get to it within the day with an answer, and if it is urgent and within both ethics and capabilities then i'll be okay with it. magic anons are off for the duration; pelipper mail is still on though (sorry whoever sent the switcheroo one. i will get to it eventually...)

stay safe, happy whichever holidays you may celebrate, if you have to deal with heckers for relatives may someone blow an airhorn every time they say something stupid.

[lostacelonnie]

Sorry this took a bit to get to time slipped right by & life happened a bit. Plus i got my first tattoo & thus couldn't use my right arm as well for a bit. Weather here has been like. Back & forth between rain/snow & mostly sunny so i can only blame the horrors. Oh good! Im glad its mostly easy stuff for you this month. Wait what? Thats all wild & im glad those teachers got fired for that. If only we were that regulatory of teachers in the states. A win win situation indeed. A carnival? That does sound like a lot of fun i gotta add that on my list of stuff to hopefully see one day. Yeah honestly! Like something about schools just. Is way different & can only be explained by school air. Thank you! I got sparkle decently quick which i needed her for her buffs so im glad. Those 30 free pulls from the anniversary will help my archeron gain i hope. Shame jingliu is in the same patch so ill have to wait for her again. One day clara will come to me. I hoped it would be on sparkle's banner but i got e1 gepard instead. I cant even reach gold & gears because the final boss of swarm disaster is still beating my ass i need better imaginary units. Or to work on ratio maybe he can deal with that damn boss duplicating itself. Oh talents are another thing i should focus on maxing for characters i just. Keep forgetting. Next patch we have triple drop coc & su planar ornaments which is gonna be nuts i cant wait to farm then. Ive played wendy's arc a bit more & like. Wow cocolia is awful what the hell. Worst mom of the year. Im excited for you to continue them both are so good. Oh thats what all that was about okay. Seele best girl always. Oh no worries take all the time you need to jot it down. Yeah some people get. Real intense about their us patriotism & its. Embarrassing. My condolences on losing such an impressive noita run. One day ill get into honkai part 2. But for now its a slow movement through part 1

ah very fair and apologies on my part as well!!! yknow how it is. same old same old. i was personally also Quite busy with our dear beloved school festival which drained me for like a solid week 😭😭 but it was SO worth it. im def helping with it next year as well. AND YOO TATTOO??? THATS AWESOME....... man i wanna get tattoos when im older (and piercings. i dont have a Single one i feel inferior to like all of my friends) but ive never really known what Of. and yeah same with the weather..... it was like. 9 celsius like two days ago and its 25 celsius today. Wild. and thankies!!! i Got Through it (with varying results tbh) but not anything to get me really down so we chillen. AND YEAH RIGHT???? our school is just generally a hotspot for strange individuals (both students and teachers) but its usually in the positive way. but ah what can you do. and yeahhhhh i heard it kinda sucks in the us. and same!!! ive heard a Lot of things about the carnivals in spain since theyre a pretty Big Thing and our teachers love to tell us about them so i actually ended up looking quite a bit forward to seeing one someday. if money allows for it, that is. AND GOD FOR REAL. school air my beloathed school air. OH CONGRATS ON THE SPARKLE!!! to be fully honest i do Not know what her kit is because i wasnt playing That much when her banner was up. or rather focused more on just going through penacony, both story- and exploration-wise. AND GOOD LUCK ON ACHERON!! i managed to get her, her lightcone, AND claras eidolon in like. a 100 pulls which is probs a new record for me. currently saving but i dont know who for yet SHJD. ill see if any future penacony chars interest me (ive been Thinking about boothill, or aventurine for clara) but if not then its gonna be either jingliu or topaz. and ahh good luck with getting them as well in the future!! GOD I HATE THE SWARM. I HATE THE SWARM SO MUCH. GAHHH. the most annoying enemies in the game by a MILE. but ah what can you do. oh yeah very real i always forget in genshin but luckily dont really have that problem in hsr. and yeah im Waiting for that triple drops for my acheron since rn she just has. Very scuffed temporary gear. but not gonna lie her damage is pretty good regardless. i think the mechanic with not needing energy to use her ult but stacks of That One Thing instead is very fun and interesting. brings a bit of spice into the gameplay. AND AHHH I HAVE VERY COMPLEX FEELINGS ABOUT COCOLIA shes a really interesting character imo. but thats revealed a bit more in the later arcs so i wont share too much hehehehe. tho yeah i agree she is Not a great mother. SEELE BEST GIRL ALWAYS!!!! and thankies!!! also yeah... but at least theres a lot of ways one can make fun of them. i literally cant stop saying "MY PRONOUNS ARE U/S/A" whenever i get a good mark on my english tests its just embedded in my vocab now. and have fun with honkai!!!!

[rockstarsoldier]

i gotta say again, i like topaz's design. i don't like her storyline and how she is trying to justify what the IPC is trying to do with Belobog with her sad, little story.

i don't care IPC saved your world, they're trying to colonize a world that just came out from a crisis bc they don't have the credit to pay them. they're not saviors, they're colonizers. just bc they follow preservation doesn't take away that all they want is taking worlds away from their natives.

[andrewmoocow]

Two Sides of the Same Gem chapter 3: Gotta Get Back (originally posted on February 13, 2023)

AN: We're just about ready for the climax, everyone. The race for the alternate Seer to the Void is on between the Crystal Regime and the Lucent Gems, and with it, the fate of two worlds rests in our heroes' hands. Will Jasper and White Topaz make it to the Seer's location and save their friends from other-dimensional domination? And what truly is the method to Lord Steven's madness?

Cast:

Kimberly Brooks as Jasper, Overcooked Jasper

Lauren Ash as White Topaz, Rebel White Topaz

Zach Callison as Lord Steven

Noël Wells as Black Rutile, Rebel Black Rutile

Della Saba as Aquamarine, Rebel Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball, Rebel Eyeball

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate, Rebel Holly Blue

Casey Lee Williams as Cat's Eye, Rebel Cat's Eye

Jinkx Monsoon as Rebel Emerald

Kari Wahlgren as Rebel Pyrope

Melissa Fahn as Rebel Demantoid

Hayley Kiyoko as Rebel Morganite

Estelle as Toxic Garnet, Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Sadist Amethyst, Amethyst

Deedee Magno-Hall as Sycophant Pearl, Pearl

Jennifer Paz as Psycho Lapis, Rebel Zuli, Lapis

Shelby Rabara as Nihilist Peridot, Peridot

Grace Rolek as Rebel Connie

--

"Please stop; there's good in your heart!" Cat's Eye, now shapeshifted into Steven, wailed to Holly Blue, shapeshifted into Black Rutile, as the two performed the Crystal Regime.

"Oh, don't mind me; I'm just going to shoot this dog." Holly Blue proclaimed while pointing a laser gun at a plush dog she was holding. "In the face. Where else would I kill it?"

"I don't want to hurt you!" Cat's Eye continued sobbing dramatically as Eyeball cranked the volume up on Pagliacci.

"And now I'm thinking of stealing the dead bodies of the elderly and selling them on the black market!" Holly Blue continued, to the amusement of the Regime.

"ONLY YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF!" Cat's Eye began throwing a fit like an angry child to emphasize her portrayal of Steven.

"I think we should stop them; we get the point." The alternate Peridot advised Lord Steven as Cat and Holly's show continued.

"No, let them continue." Lord Steven purred. "For this is the absolute dumbest thing I've ever seen."

"PLEASE, JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Cat screamed sorrowfully with her head bowed to the ground in desperation.

"I'll only listen to you when you accept that not everyone will bend the knee and listen to you!" Holly finally yelled back at the lawyer-turned-rebel.

"No, no, I don't want to!" Cat pouted, only to break character and turn to her boss. "Do I seriously have to do this? I did not take that online method acting class just to wind up with a role like this!"

"It's for added dramatic effect, now do it, idiot!" Black Rutile whispered back before tossing a toy car to Cat's Eye. "Now play with this car until a wheel breaks off, and go wild from there."

"Whatever." Cat groaned in disappointment and got back into character by playing with the toy car, making driving sounds as she rolled it on the floor. As if right on cue, one of the front wheels broke off. "Silly old car! Silly, silly!" Throwing the car away, Cat threw an even louder tantrum than earlier that seemed to last for hours. A short while later, however, she got right back up and took a bow. "And scene!"

Garnet, Amethyst, Lapis, and Aquamarine all applauded in recognition of Cat's Eye's parodic acting skills as Black Rutile stepped forward. "You see what we had to deal with here, milord? We were forced to deal with a complete manchild, not unlike Pink Diamond!"

"Are you sure this is how he got what he wanted?" Lord Steven asked in reply.

"Well, either that or turn into a monster and go on a murderous rampage when he doesn't get his way." Aquamarine responded. "Are you capable of doing that?"

"I never had the time to experiment." Steven answered. "Now, if we have nothing else to discuss, unlike the Seer to the Void of your world, Pink Diamond successfully acquired it from the Mystical Knights of Nog-Na-Tir in Mount Kilimanjaro before slaughtering them all. The Seer is currently located in a vault that we disguised as a star in the Big Dipper."

"And once we find that and go to your world, I'm gonna beat that world's Lapis like a drum!" the psychotic Lapis exclaimed with a deranged laugh. "Going from fearsome terraformer to emotionally unstable art student? Not on my watch!"

"I'd also like to compare notes with my counterpart through capture and interrogation." Lord Steven's Peridot added flatly. "Perhaps her high intellect could be useful to the regime, provided she doesn't try to dodge any questions I might have with annoying jokes."

"Then it's settled; we must leave immediately!" Steven's sociopathic, sycophantic Pearl proclaimed. Elsewhere, the same figure had a recorder pulled out, transmitting the conversation to whoever was on the other end.

--

"-unlike the Seer to the Void of your world, Pink Diamond successfully acquired it from the Mystical Knights of Nog-Na-Tir in Mount Kilimanjaro before slaughtering them all. The Seer is currently located in a vault that we disguised as a star in the Big Dipper." The spy played Lord Steven's declaration back for the Lucent Gems in their secret base.

"So they stole the Seer to the Void in this world." White Topaz reiterated Steven's words. "Well, what are we waiting for?! We have to stop them now!"

"You are indeed correct, Topaz." Black Rutile replied, unaware that she was talking to the wrong Topaz.

"Uh, I think she's the one talking to you." The rebel White Topaz said. "Then again, what did you expect to happen when meeting myself from another dimension?"

"My mistake; multiverses can be so confusing." Black Rutile chuckled heartily. "Now, without further ado, we simply must carry on and save both worlds!"

"I am with you till the bitter end, my Rutile!" the Lucent Gems' Aquamarine proclaimed.

"Wait, what were we talking about?" the alternate Eyeball wondered, her mind having wandered to a moth that fluttered into the cave.

"Oh, your enthusiasm fills me with such delight." Holly Blue chuckled warmly.

"Whatever." Zuli rolled her eyes before pulling out her phone to look at.

"At long last, the Regime's day of reckoning may have finally come!" Emerald exclaimed triumphantly. "Oh, how I long to hear Steven's screams of agony as his empire falls, his allies are purged of life, and he loses any sort of will to li-"

"Hey, cut it with the theatrics, Shakespeare." Pyrope snarked with a mouthful of a hoagie. "Let me guess; you're gonna say life is a walking shadow next?"

"What are we standing around for? Don't we have a multiverse to save?" Demantoid asked.

"She's right; we're wasting time here!" Morganite agreed with Demantoid, inciting some chatter among the Lucent Gems.

"So, I just wanted to ask you something." White Topaz asked the alternate version of her former superior. "Is the Lucent Gems just you guys? I thought there would be many more soldiers under your command, just like my Black Rutile. Like, does Eduardo Suarez ring a bell? Bane Jones, Beckham Jordan, Lars Barriga, maybe even Cinnabar?"

"We are only the core of the resistance." Black Rutile confirmed dourly. "But alas, we have lost many a good soldier to the Regime over our long history. Many were killed in action, turned into prisoners of war, or brainwashed into becoming Steven's loyal servants." She then pulled out an old picture of herself posing with what White Topaz assumed to be her equivalent to Cinnabar. "I especially feel the loss of Cinnabar to this day. The two of us didn't see eye to eye a lot, but it always pained me to remember her sacrifice to save my life in the Battle of Empire City."

"You've been through a lot." Jasper said comfortingly, putting a hand on the heroic Rutile's shoulder. "It's a miracle you're so stable after all that loss."

"Oh, trust me, I have many ways to cope, like acting like a lovable buffoon, for example!" Black Rutile happily proclaimed.

"Oh yes, and we love you so much for that!" Cat's Eye said, literally swooning over her boss, much to the Rutile's annoyance.

"So, anything we can use to get to the Big Dipper?" Jasper asked. Black Rutile responded by gesturing towards a large spaceship in the near distance. "We call this the Servant. Some Black Pearls formerly used it under my command before they fell in combat. We shall reach the Big Dipper in a cinch with this vessel!"

"Awesome!" White Topaz exclaimed. "Hopefully, the Regime won't already be listening in on us!"

--

Back at the Crystal Regime's base of operations, preparations were being made to Steven's primary warship, formerly belonging to Pink Diamond, for the voyage to the Big Dipper. As Lord Steven gazed upon his mighty vessel, his unstable Garnet tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, milord?" she asked Steven. "I need to speak with you for a moment."

"What do you need, Garnet?" Steven asked his toxically fused servant as Garnet took him away to talk in private.

"It's about our ranks." Garnet stoically declared, only to immediately switch from Sapphire to Ruby. "We have a squealing rat among us! She's been feeding information to the resistance; I've been spying on her for months now!"

"A spy?" Steven said. "Who? Who could it be?!"

"I think it might be Jasper, it has to be Jasper!" Garnet dramatically warned Steven as she resisted the urge to unfuse into Ruby and Sapphire. "She's finally had it with our abuse of her, and now she's striking back!"

"I should've known." Steven murmured to himself, thinking back to Jasper's torment under his subordinates.

--

"SWIRLIE TIME!" Lapis cackled sadistically while holding Lapis by the ankle over a massive whirlpool.

"No, wait, please don't dunk me!" Jasper begged to be spared, but her words fell on deaf ears before she was dropped into the whirlpool and sucked away.

--

"You sure this is safe?" Jasper asked meekly as she stood in front of a highly volatile plasma globe Peridot was experimenting on.

"Safe, not safe? It doesn't matter." Peridot said calmly while taking notes. When Jasper gently placed her orange hands on the globe, it caused an electric shock that would seem lethal to a normal human being, followed by the globe exploding in her face. "Huh, it wasn't safe after all."

"YOU THINK?!" Jasper shrieked angrily before suddenly poofing, the sudden explosion taking its toll on her physical form.

--

"Begin!" Pearl exclaimed in the middle of a training session, prompting a wrestling match between Jasper and Amethyst. Unfortunately for Jasper, it was completely one-sided in Amethyst's favor.

"NOOGIE, NOOGIE, NOOGIE!" Amethyst laughed as she gave Jasper a violent noogie before switching to lashing at Jasper with her whip.

"UNCLE, UNCLE!" Jasper screamed as she reached out for Pearl to end the match, but Pearl elected not to pay attention and read a magazine instead.

"Hm, Foster Kane is running against Arnold Clump for president." Pearl muttered while flipping through the pages of her tabloid.

--

"Please, Jasper, I need to be stable!" Garnet yelled to Jasper as she began to come apart in a rather horrifying fashion. "Please, fuse with me; I can't hold on any longer!"

"No, get away from me!" Jasper yelled and tried to escape. "Someone let me out; please let me out!"

"Join us, Jasper; make us feel whole!" Garnet moaned as she slowly split in two, the halves forming into her equivalent of Ruby and Sapphire before suddenly bursting into a cloud of smoke, leaving her components' gems lying on the floor in front of a traumatized Jasper.

--

"Men!" Lord Steven called out for his armed forces, clad in pink armor with rose sigils on their shoulders and carrying taser guns. "We have a traitorous Jasper among us. Find and eliminate her at once!"

"SIR, YES, SIR!" the troopers bellowed and marched away in search of Jasper.

"Thank you very much for your warnings, Garnet." Steven sighed with relief before turning to Garnet. "It's good that your toxic formation hasn't hampered your future vision."

"That is where you're wrong, my lord!" Garnet theatrically responded. "I saw a multitude of futures where the traitor could be anyone! It could be Pearl! It could be Amethyst! It could even be me!"

"Enough of this!" Lord Steven shut Garnet down. "I don't care how long it takes! Anyone who opposes me will be destroyed, and the mark of my dignity shall scar thy gem!"

--

"Another day, another eternity in this god-forbidden cell." Connie groaned quietly as she carved out a new tally mark on her prison cell wall. By her estimate, she's been trapped here for fifteen years since that faithful assassination mission disguised as allowing Steven to become her friend. Maybe in a different life, the two could've been an unstoppable team instead of on opposing sides of the war, perhaps something more. But no time to dwell on the past, Connie was instead wondering how she hadn't been executed by now, like what happened to her parents for their outcry against Lord Steven.

"Hey, hey, over here." Connie heard a voice call out, making her turn to discover the overcooked Jasper on the other side. "It's me; I'm here to break you out!"

"What?" Connie asked as she raced to face the Jasper. "This better not be some kind of trick by Steven."

"No, I'm being serious here." Jasper said as she pulled off a panel and manipulated some wires operating Connie's cell. "I'm on your side; I'm a mole in the Crystal Regime for the Lucent Gems, here to free you from this prison."

"Wait, I never knew about a mole!" Connie exclaimed. "Then again, I was trapped here for fifteen years, so what do I know?"

"The Gems all saw how abused I was, so they recruited me as a way of helping me get revenge." Jasper continued before finally letting Connie out of her prison for the first time in more than a decade. "By the way, you're welcome."

"Thank you." Connie sighed in relief, knowing that a friendly face had been here all along. "So, ready to take me back to base?"

"Yeah, we got a few new friends ready to help us stop Steven." Jasper replied. "One of them is even an alternate me! You gotta see this!"

"Wait, an alternate you?" Connie wondered before the alarms began going off, followed by Lord Steven's troops charging into the prison to corner the duo.

"FREEZE!" the soldiers boomed as they pointed their guns at Connie and Jasper.

"Jasper, under the orders of Lord Steven Universe, supreme ruler of the planet Earth and leader of the Crystal Regime, we now place you under arrest for your betrayal and sentence you to death!" the leader of the troops exclaimed. "How do you plead?"

"I don't know," Jasper replied while summoning her crash helmet. "how about you?"

--

Meanwhile, the Lucent Gems were preparing the Servant for its voyage to the Big Dipper. As the resistance was getting ready for what could possibly be their biggest mission yet, Jasper took some time to reflect on the status of this world and how one simple decision had changed everything.

"I still can't believe it, Paz, a world where Pink Diamond decided to conquer Earth instead of saving it." Jasper muttered. "The Pink Diamond of our world may have done some shady stuff, but I don't think world domination was ever one of them."

"Maybe the Diamonds were way worse to her here than ours were." White Topaz agreed. "Well, good thing they never went that far, huh?"

"Who knows?" Jasper shrugged. Just then, there was a knock at the stone door, followed by what she believed to be her voice on the other side.

"Hello, are you still there, Black Rutile?" Jasper's voice asked from outside. "It's me, your spy."

"Wait, I'm the spy?!" Jasper gasped as Black Rutile let her mole in with her fellow escapee.

"What a twist!" White Topaz gasped as well.

"Not that much of a twist." The parallel White Topaz snarked as the alternate Jasper and Connie entered the base.

"So, you must be the me of this world." Jasper said as she met with her alternate counterpart for the first time. "Aren't you a little skinny to be a Jasper?"

"No, I'm wonderful the way I am." The other Jasper said awkwardly, enamored with her mirror self's more muscular body. "Anyways, I'd like you to meet Connie, another rebellion member."

"I know a Connie in my world!" White Topaz exclaimed while Demantoid worked on building a prosthetic arm for Connie. "What's your story like compared to hers?"

"I never got the chance for a normal childhood under Steven's reign of terror," Connie replied morosely. "The moment my mother tried to speak out against the Crystal Regime, she and my dad were sentenced to death while Black Rutile raised me. I had gone on a few missions since then, until one faithful day."

--

Fifteen years prior, Connie was given a special mission by Black Rutile. Her objective was to lure Steven into a trap and pretend to befriend him until the time was right for her to assassinate him when he least expected it. Sitting down on the beach with some glasses and a book as part of her disguise, Connie waited patiently for Steven to appear as she was told he could be walking around any second now.

Just then, just as predicted, Steven left his beachside palace with a hover scooter by his side, ready to show it off to whoever may see him. "Some smooth ride, this craft is." Steven said to himself. "Gotta thank Peridot for souping this up for me. Five speeds, handbrakes, blue electric finish, and a tiger bell!" Steven turned to face Connie, who was pretending to be a little too engrossed in her book to notice, while Black Rutile and her forces lurked above with a boulder ready to crush Steven at a moment's notice.

"Come on, come on." Black Rutile muttered as she glared down at Steven continuing to try to get Connie's attention.

"Excuse me, but could you please turn your attention to my new ride?" Steven asked. "Your ruler demands it."

"Oh, sorry, I was busy reading Catcher in the Rye." Connie pretended to apologize when she finally noticed Steven. "Nice car you got there."

"It's a hover scooter, technically." Steven corrected the girl. "Haven't seen you around my glorious kingdom lately. What's your name?"

"My name's Connie, my lord." Connie introduced herself. "What brings you outside? Shouldn't you be ordering slaves around or building grand monuments to yourself?"

"No, I simply felt like talking with my subjects today." Steven answered. "So when I saw you outside my castle, I thought you needed someone to talk to."

"Just what I thought." Connie's docile expression turned into a smirk before she gave the signal. "NOW!" At the girl's orders, Black Rutile shoved the boulder off the cliff, and it fell towards Steven, but he readily summoned his shield and smashed it to pieces.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Steven yelled. "I thought you wanted to be my friend! Are you really working with the rebels?!"

"Yes, they're the only family I have left after you had my parents executed!" Connie replied angrily as Black Rutile, Emerald, and Aquamarine landed behind her. "We, the Lucent Gems, place you and your subordinates under arrest for your crimes against the universe! How do you plead?"

"Are you threatening me, human?" Steven asked as his soldiers gathered behind him.

"The senate shall decide your fate." Connie responded.

"I AM the senate!" Steven corrected his new friend-turned-foe.

"Not yet." Connie declared harshly, prompting Steven to summon his shield again.

"It's treason then." Steven snarled as he charged at Connie, and the two clashed. Though the battle was intense and Connie seemed to have the edge, some trickery courtesy of Steven allowed him to gain the upper hand and subdue her. The Lucent Gems were forced to make a tactical retreat, leaving Connie to be imprisoned for the next fifteen years.

"Heard you captured another rebel, sire." Pearl said to Steven later that day as he gazed at the sunset with a Cookie Cat beside him. "How she manipulated you into thinking she could be your friend."

"Typical humans." Steven scoffed at the notion. "They say they could be your friend only to stab you in the back when you least expect it. Hence why I prefer the company of my subjects rather than any lowly creatures like them."

"I do agree." Pearl smiled sadistically. "Humans lead such short, boring, insignificant lives, so they make up stories to feel like they're a part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control."

"Right as always, Pearl." Steven grinned back. "I knew there was a reason my mother kept you around."

--

As soon as Connie finished her story, the Lucent Gems, Jasper, and White Topaz rocketed on the Servant off of Earth, where they discovered the Crystal Regime's flagship, The Universe flying next to them.

"Of course, you two would join up with them!" the main Black Rutile said to her versions of White Topaz and Jasper on the viewscreen, before coming into contact with her good self for the first time. "And I suppose you must be me of this world, huh?"

"Look, there's even other us's too!" Aquamarine exclaimed as she appeared on the screen as well. "Ick, they're all rebels!"

"Wait, is that Emerald with them?" Holly Blue added. "And Demantoid and Pyrope too?!"

"Is that us?" the motherly counterpart of Holly Blue asked regarding her, Aquamarine, Eyeball, and Cat's Eye's doppelgangers. "Oh my, I didn't realize this other me could look so cruel."

"And I didn't realize I'd have a counterpart who's a complete wimp!" Holly Blue yelled. "But not to worry, we will steal the Seer to the Void, and we will conquer both worlds with the Regime's help!"

"Correction, I'm not helping you; you're helping me." Lord Steven proclaimed. "Oh, hello, Connie. I see you're readjusting to normal society nicely."

"We'll make you pay for this, Steven." Connie responded. "All engines, full power!" The Servant and The Universe began going even faster toward the Big Dipper, both sides having their own goals for the artifact. Their ships seemed equally matched in speed, durability, and other assorted weaponry; the Servant ultimately won the race, and the Lucent Gems reached the Big Dipper vault.

"The vault should be somewhere on this star!" White Topaz said as the heroes searched for the vault. "Jasper!"

"Yes?" the two Jaspers turned to White Topaz upon hearing their shared name.

"Not you, her!" White Topaz explained, pointing to the skinny Jasper.

"Oh yeah, if we need to find the vault, we need the secret password!" the alternate Jasper explained.

"So what is it, is it 'password'?" White Topaz asked. "Ooh, or maybe it's 12345!"

"No, it can't be!" the rebellious Black Rutile insisted. "It might be 'drowssap.' It's like password spelled backward!"

"Everyone be quiet! I think I know what it could be." Connie declared. "If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs!" Suddenly, a massive outline of a star began rising from the ground to reveal the hiding place of the Seer to the Void. "Awesome."

"Awesome indeed." Lord Steven boomed as he strolled onto the scene with the primary Black Rutile by his side. "Thank you all so much for leading me to the Seer. I let you go ahead so you could reveal its location to us."

"Of course, you'd pull something like that." Jasper scowled before she was struck in the back of her head by one of Steven's soldiers. "Hey, what's the big idea?! Someone help us!"

"Oh, we are so terribly sorry; we seem to be tied up at the moment." The alternate Aquamarine apologized as the Lucent Gems were rounded up for capture.

"What are you going to do to us?!" White Topaz asked as she and Jasper were brought before Black Rutile and Lord Steven. "If you're planning to shatter us, get it over with already!"

"Hey, don't give up like that, sweetie!" Jasper replied to White Topaz.

"No, you're simply far too useful to us to get rid of now." Lord Steven revealed. "We simply plan on sending you back to your world as a way of sending a message."

"What kind of message?" Jasper asked.

"That we're coming." Black Rutile smiled eerily.

--

"White Topaz hasn't reported back yet with her findings." Pearl muttered as she gazed at the portal in Black Rutile's house with Garnet and Amethyst in the prime universe. "You think something bad happened?"

"Well, duh, Pearl, they're in another universe!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Of course, they'd have no way of contacting us through normal means unless we had some kind of special communicator."

"Regardless, we need to keep hoping that things will turn out alright." Garnet nodded before her future vision began to prove otherwise. "Oh no, things won't turn out alright!" Just then, the Vortexxer activated, and Jasper and White Topaz were launched out of the portal. "We were worried for you two!"

"What did you see on the other side?" Pearl asked worriedly.

"Oh, you would not believe what universe we went to!" White Topaz cried. "It was like this creepy bizarro world where Steven was evil, and Black Rutile was good, and the Crystal Gems of that universe took over the Earth instead of saving it!"

"Wait, Black Rutile a good guy?" Amethyst raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Now I know it's a bizarro world!"

"Look, the point is, we tried to help this parallel version of the Rutile Rebels that were like a resistance against Steven," Jasper explained. "but things went south when we went out on a mission to find this other Seer to the Void, and now-"A massive explosion went off outside. "We're too late!"

Racing outside, the five Gems saw the other residents of Little Homeworld looking up in shock as Lord Steven's armada hovered over Little Homeworld, ships flying everywhere on Earth to signify that the invasion had begun.

"Guys, what are those?" Peridot nervously asked.

"Are we being invaded again?" Lapis added.

"What's even going on?!" Bismuth yelled.

"Okay, guys, this is gonna sound a little crazy." White Topaz began to explain everything to the B-team.

--

We have officially reached the endgame, everyone! Our heroes may be down, but they certainly aren't out. Will the Lucent Gems be the Crystal Gems' only hope of saving both worlds from Lord Steven's tyranny? How will the Gems react to their regime counterparts? And will a certain half-Gem be able to reunite with the Crystal Gems to help them? Find out on the final part of Two Sides of the Same Gem!

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Mid project swatch break. Thinking about doing beads instead of nupps just to save yarn, but that would mean making a Decision about what colour beads from my limited stash would work best with this yellow.

I'm really surprised with how good the blue looks and how bad the white looks in this yarn. But my gut instinct was the topaz gold was going to be the best for what I want, and I think that's still true post swatching. Visible but not distracting, and less of a statement than the blue would be (since this is probably going to be gifted).

Now I just gotta convince myself it'll be Fun! to use a couple hundred beads (which I guess is easier than convincing myself to knit a couple hundred nupps)

(Pattern | Yarn)

I've been holding on to this yarn for a While trying to find the perfect pattern but eventually I've realized that. I will simply never find something that I ever feel like I would wear, because I will never wear this shade of yellow. So instead I impulse cast on this (free!!) shawl pattern that I thought was pretty and honestly I think the combo works pretty well. And more importantly, I could knit the first body lace without a pattern so I could work on it while recovering.

Well, I've finished the first lace section (Yucca chart). The large size says to do the Yucca chart 12 times but due to not being 100% confident in having enough yarn I've knit it 10 times (which should work according to the pattern). I'm almost sad this texture is going to block out for the final shawl, it's really delicious waffle cone flavoured.

[drabbles-mc]

First Impressions: Part 2

Juice Ortiz x F!Reader

Part 1 can be found Here

Warnings: just fluff and a nervous Juice

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Been marinating on the request for a second part for a while now. I love Juice and it’s so hard for me to turn away any kind of request for him lmaooo. Hope you guys enjoy!

SOA Taglist:  @garbinge​ @adela-topaz-caelon​ @masterlistforimagines​ @mijop​ @chibsytelford​ @xladymacbethx​ @i-just-read-stuff​ @kkim120​ @toni9​ @unicornucopia-fuckers​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @punkgoddess-98​ @paintballkid711​ @black-repunzel99​ @jitterbugs927​ @mrsstevenbuchananstark

You were getting ready to leave work when your phone vibrated on your desk. You paused, looking down at the number. It wasn’t in your contacts, but you picked it up anyway, having a very singular hope for who it was.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Juan,” he paused for a beat, “From T-M?”

You chuckled, “I remember. I was hoping to hear from you,” you spun slightly from side to side in your desk chair, “Was starting to worry you took off with my car.”

He laughed, “No, no, nothing like that. It’s, uh, it’s good to go, though.”

“Really?” they’d had your car for a couple days, and you were on the brink of losing hope that they’d be able to fix it.

“Yea. So, uh, if you wanna come and pick it up, you can.”

“Holy shit,” you laughed in disbelief, “Alright, yea. I’m just getting ready to leave work. I’ll be there in thirty? Is that alright?”

“I’ll be here,” there was a softness to his tone and you could almost picture the smile on his face.

“Perfect. See you soon.”

You hung up the phone and finished packing up your things as quickly as you could. Tucking your bag onto your shoulder, you made your way towards the front doors of the building. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect—right before your phone call you’d gotten the notification that your ride was ready for you. Hopping into the car, you gave them the new address, relieved that they didn’t seem bothered by the last-minute changes.

When they parked outside the compound, you thanked them once more and gave them an extra tip before hopping out of the car. You walked onto the lot, and it all felt much quieter and emptier than when you’d been there a few days before. It was technically after business hours, sure, but not by much. You spotted all the bikes lined up and you assumed that that was the reason for it being so quiet, not the fact that it was after five o’clock.

You made your way towards the garage bays, one of them housing your car. You looked around but there were no mechanics in sight. You gnawed at the inside of your bottom lip as you scanned for Juice, or really anyone who could help you out. When you saw that the garage was truly empty, you made your way over to the office. Rapping your knuckles lightly on the door, you waited for a response.

“Come in,” you recognized the woman’s voice from your last visit.

You peeked your head inside, a sheepish smile on your face, “Hey. Sorry, I know it’s after hours but—”

“You dropped your car off the other day, right?” she gestured vaguely at you with the glasses in her hand, “Juice took care of you?”

“Um,” you fought the urge to stammer, “yea. He called me a little bit ago, said my car was good to go?”

She nodded, “It is. Let me go grab him—the boys yanked him aside for some other business,” she gestured to the chair, “Take a seat. I’ll be right back.”

You did as she said, holding your purse in your lap as you looked around the office. You knew that there must’ve been a method to the madness, but you were truly surprised by how many forms and business cards covered what seemed like every inch of wall space. There were a few stray papers still on the desk, and you wondered if any of them were for you. Just as you were about to try and take a look, you heard the clicking of the woman’s boots as she walked back into the office.

“Juice will finished getting you squared up,” she tucked a few papers away, and handed the rest to Juice, who had walked in a couple steps behind her with a sheepish smile on his face.

“Thanks, Gem,” he said, his voice a little soft as she grabbed her bag to leave.

“Don’t mention it. Just make sure the guys don’t yank you away next time you’re supposed to be doing shit,” she turned to you and smiled, “Have a good night, sweetheart.”

You nodded, intrigued by the entire interaction, “You too, thank you.”

There was a nervous smile on Juice’s face as he sat down across from you, “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“I was planning on being out here when you got here. But the guys needed help with some stuff.”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “It’s really not a problem,” you paused, “Am I gonna cry at how much this is gonna cost me?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “No, no. I got you a good deal on parts and shit. And, uh, I didn’t get you for labor.”

“What?” you shook your head, “Juan, no, come on. You, you can’t do that.”

“Sure I can,” he smiled, “Really, it’s fine.”

You hated the feeling of accepting charity from someone, especially someone you didn’t really know all that well. It was one thing if he was just getting you a good deal on a couple parts, but this was different. Accepting help with anything had never been easy, let alone when it came to money.

He saw the hesitation on your face and waited for you to meet his eyes, “Hey, think of it this way,” he chuckled as he slid the paperwork over to you, “It’s about what you saved me in bail charges when you found me on the street.”

It got you to laugh, and the playful spark in his eyes was difficult to turn away from or say no to. Finally, you gave a slight nod as you handed over your card and started to sign the papers. His eyes didn’t stray from you as he ran your card. He knew that he should reel it in, but he also didn’t know if this was going to be the last time he ever saw you. The fact that he ever ran into you again after that day on the street was nothing short of a miracle. He wondered when his luck was going to run out.

“Alright,” he forced himself to think about the situation at hand, “I think that means you’re all set.”

You slipped your card back into your purse, “I really can’t thank you enough.”

“No need to thank me,” he smiled as he stood up from his chair, “It’s what we do here.”

The two of you walked out of the office to see that someone had already moved your car out of the garage bay that it had been parked in. You didn’t think much of it until you saw the confusion etched into the features of Juice’s face. His eyes immediately went to the other building on the lot, and your gaze followed. You saw a few men sitting out on the picnic table—you recognized two of them from your previous visit, but one of the faces as new to you. Juice shook his head slightly as he continued to walk with you to the car.

“So you should be all good to go,” he smiled as he leaned back against your car, “but if something else goes wrong just, y’know, give us a call.”

“Do I need to use the T-M number? Or do I get to use your personal hotline for that?”

He couldn’t meet your gaze as he let out a nervous chuckle, “Either one will work,” he cleared his throat, “Lemme get your keys.”

He opened the driver’s door, expecting to find the keys under the visor where they always put them if they had to leave the keys with a car. When he didn’t find them there or in the console, he let out a sigh. Knowing exactly where they were, he cast a glance over at the men sitting on the table.

Jax had the most satisfied grin on his face as he twirled your keys around his finger, whistling and gesturing for Juice to come over, “I got ‘em.”

Juice rolled his eyes, knowing that he was getting set up to get you roped into something with them. He didn’t know what, exactly, but he had no desire to find out. He offered you an apologetic look, “Gimme a sec, I’ll go grab your keys.”

You laughed, nodding, “Whatever you gotta do.”

You watched as he jogged over to the men at the table. You couldn’t see the look on his face, but the satisfied grins and smirks of the men facing him were enough to tell you that they were definitely giving him a bit of a hard time about something. More likely than not it had to do with the puppy-dog look in his eyes whenever he was looking at you.

“Y/N,” Jax called over to you with a slick smile, “c’mere!”

You could only imagine the look on Juice’s face. But still, you obliged to see where exactly this was all going. You tossed your purse into your car before walking over. Juice was shaking his head apologetically at you as you approached, which provided a stark contrast to the looks of glee on Jax and Opie’s faces.

Tucking your hands into your back pockets, you offered them all a smile, “Hey. Something I can do for you?”

“Nah,” Jax rested his elbows on his knees, “just wanted to say hi, make sure your car is alright.”

“Hard to tell that if I can’t put the keys in the ignition,” you quipped with a smile, “But I’m sure it’s fine. I did leave it in the hands of Charming’s Intelligence Officer, after all.”

Juice looked over at you, and you could tell that he was caught between laughing, and melting into the floor. Jax still held your keys securely in the palm of his hand, and you wondered what exactly he was waiting for to relinquish them. Part of you wondered if they simply wanted to watch Juice squirm a little bit more under the microscope before letting you go on your way.

“Juice mentioned that there was something he wanted to ask you,” Opie spoke up with a smirk as he lit a cigarette.

You raised your eyebrows, clearly knowing that they were throwing him under the bus for something, “Oh, really?”

Juice shook his head, “No, no. It’s not—it’s nothing.”

You weren’t going to push it, knowing that there were enough people doing that already, “Right. Well, if no one has anything to ask me,” you glanced back at Jax and put your hand out, “I’d really love to have my keys back.”

“You got plans tonight, dalrin’?” Jax asked as he tossed your keys over to you.

You caught them, shaking your head, “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

“Want some?” Opie asked.

You chuckled, not missing the expression on Juice’s face, “Depends on the offer.”

Jax smiled, “We’re havin’ a party here tonight. Nothin’ crazy, just the guys and some friends.”

“Oh,” you tossed the keys back and forth between your hands, “I’m some friends now?”

“Well,” he chuckled, “I figured you were, especially based on the way Juice ta—”

“You don’t have to,” Juice cut him off, trying to come to his own defense, “It can be a lot, so, you know, don’t feel like you have to.”

You smiled, finding his nerves endearing, “Right. Well, I’ll think about it.”

Jax nodded, a smirk still tugging at his lips, “You know where to find us.”

“I sure do,” you looked to Juice with a soft smile, “Walk me to my car, Juan?”

He nodded, eager to get both of you out of the current conversation, “Yea, sure thing.”

As the two of you walked away, you could hear the murmurs and laughs between Jax and Opie, and you didn’t miss the fact that Juice shot them a look over his shoulder as you made your way towards the car. You lightly bumped your shoulder against his own in a playful attempt to get him to loosen up a little bit.

“You really, uh,” he nervously scratched the back of his head, “don’t feel like you have to show up or anything because of Jax. He’s just, you know…” his voice trailed off.

You smiled, leaning back against the door of your car. You waited for him to meet your eyes, “Do you want me to stop in tonight?”

His eyes grew a little wider at the question, “What?”

You folded your arms over your chest as you watched the shifts in his expression, “I’d be more than happy to stop by later. But only if you’d actually like that. Because, and correct me if I’m wrong,” you chuckled, “I have the feeling that Jax’s invite has nothing to do with him actually wanting me to be there tonight.”

Juice’s heart sped up inside his chest as he tried to formulate a response to what you were saying. He swallowed hard, slowly nodding his head, “Y-yea. I’d…I’d really like that.”

You smiled, nodding, “Then I’ll see you later.”

You went to open the door and he reached out, gently grabbing your hand to get your attention. You could see the nerves in his eyes still, “They’re probably, uh, they’re probably not going to let up,” he nodded towards the men at the table, “You know that, right?”

You laughed, “That doesn’t surprise me,” you gave his hand a light squeeze, “I’ll see you later, Juan. Okay?”

He nodded, his shoulders relaxing slightly, “Okay.”

[fanfics4all]

New Arrival

Request: Yes / No  Request - Female reader is Toni's cousin who arrives in Riverdale and ends up being rescued and befriended by Sweet Pea. after a few months Sweet Pea and Fangs develop a crush on her [no one knows her father is a business associate of Hiram Lodge, you don't need to have this part in. veronica is my fave female character] @whoviancumberbunny​

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Sweet Pea x Fangs Fogarty x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 2169

Warnings: A Ghoulie being an asshole and I think that’s it! 

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

My Father was a bad guy. He’s associated with one of the worst people I’ve ever met, Hiram Lodge. He was the absolute worst person, especially with how he was trying to buy up the area where my cousin lives! My Father didn’t seem to give any fucks about the ‘reject’ side of the family. I was done with his shit. I packed my stuff up and decided I was gonna move to Riverdale. I had called my cousin Toni before I made the decision and she agreed to let me stay there, after she talked our Nana of course. I was so excited to see her, it’s been forever! I made sure I grabbed some money from my Father and left for Riverdale. When I got there I knew no one from the Northside of town went there, so I started my walk from the bus stop. Lucky for me I didn’t bring everything I had, so it was easy to carry my shit. Once I crossed over to the Southside, I could instantly see the difference. It was like the town didn’t give a shit about this side. Toni really wasn’t lying. I was pretty sure I was close to the trailer park, but honestly wasn’t sure. I looked down at my phone to call Toni, but I ended up walking into someone. 

“Hey, watch it bitch!” The guy growled and I looked up to see a guy in a black studded vest and dark eyeliner on. 

“Sorry dude, no need to be an asshole.” I said and went to keep walking, but he grabbed my arm and stopped me. 

“You’re new around here, clearly, so let me tell you how this works. I’m with the best gang in town, The Ghoulies, and you can’t talk that way to me. So, you’re gonna make it up to me.” He said with a smirk and looked me up and down. I rolled my eyes and got out of his grip. 

“Yeah right, idiot.” I said and continued walking. I thought that would just be the end of it, but he grabbed me and slammed me against a wall. I hit my head, but it was probably just gonna leave a killer headache. 

“Now you’re really gonna have to make it up to me.” He growled and pulled out a knife. My eyes widened and I gulped. 

“Be a good girl and you won’t get hurt.” He smirked. I felt my blood run cold and I knew what was about to happen. 

“Hey! Get the fuck off her!” Someone shouted and the guy looked back to see a tall guy with a snake tattoo on his neck. He must be with the Serpents, like Toni! 

“This isn’t your business Snake.” He growled. 

“I said-” Tall guy said, pulling out his own knife. 

“Get the fuck off her.” He growled, stepping closer to him. The guy holding me had fear flash in his eyes, but recovered quickly. 

“Whatever, bitch aint even worth it.” He said and shoved himself off me. He ran off and the tall guy walked up to me, putting his knife away. 

“You alright?” He asked and I nodded, picking some of my stuff off the ground. 

“Thanks, I just got into town and clearly don’t know much.” I said and he chuckled. 

“Clearly. What are you doing here anyway? Who the hell wants to come to Riverdale?” He asked and I gave a small smile. 

“I’m moving in with my cousin.” I answered and his eyes widened slightly. 

“Is your cousin Toni Topaz?” He asked and my smile grew. 

“Yeah, do you know her?” I asked and he smiled. 

“She’s one of my best friends.” He chuckled. 

“Thank God, I was just about to call her because I might be a little lost.” I laughed. 

“Where are you trying to go?” He asked. 

“Sunnyside Trailer Park.” I answered and he laughed. 

“Yeah, you’re a little lost. How about I give you a ride.” He offered and I smiled. 

“Really? That’d be great!” I said and he walked over to his bike. 

“Hop on.” He said. I got on the back, while keeping my stuff on my arms, and wrapped my arms around his waist. 

“I’m Sweet Pea by the way.” He said and I smiled. 

“Y/N Y/L/N.” I answered and he smiled back.

“Hold on tight.” He said and we sped off. I’ve never been on a motorcycle before, but I was loving it! We made it to Toni’s trailer pretty quickly and Sweet Pea helped me carry my stuff to the door. I knocked and Toni answered with a huge smile. 

“Y/N/N!” She said and pulled me in for a hug. 

“Sweet Pea? What are you doing here?” She asked, confused. 

“Y/N here got herself into trouble with a Ghoulie, I was riding by and saved her.” He answered and Toni’s eyes widened. 

“What? Are you okay?” He asked and I smiled. 

“I’m fine T, Sweet Pea saved me before that idiot could do anything.” I said and she sighed in relief. 

“Well, thanks Pea.” She said and Sweet Pea smiled back. 

“Of course Toni.” He said. 

“Alright, well I’ll see you later tonight.” She said and Sweet Pea nodded. 

“Why don’t you come along?” He asked. 

“Where?” I asked. 

“The Wyrm. It’s the bar I work at and also the Serpents hang out.” She answered and I shrugged. 

“Yeah sure, sounds like fun.” I smiled. 

“Awesome, well I’ll see you guys later, I gotta go meet up with Fangs.” Sweet Pea said and left. 

“Fangs?” I asked and Toni chuckled. 

“I’ll introduce you later.” She said, pulling me inside. 

“Why does everyone have such weird names around here?” I asked and she laughed. 

“They’re nicknames, I’m sure you’ll get your own soon enough.” She said. 

The two of us spend the day unpacking and catching up. I realized that I didn’t know my cousin as well as I thought I did. I mean, how the hell did I not know she was bisexual!? She said that she was more into girls than guys though. Talking with her made me realize I made the right decision to come here. When it hit seven she told me we were going to the bar. I was excited to see where she worked, it sounded like a really cool place. When we got there everyone looked our way, most people greeted Toni and looked at me weirdly. 

“Yo Toni! Over here!” A short guy shouted and Toni pulled me along with her. 

“Hey guys, this is my cousin Y/N, Y/N this is Fangs, Jughead, and well you met Sweet Pea already.” She introduced me. 

“Toni! Let’s go!” An older man called her and she looked at me. 

“Sorry, gotta work. Jones, mind keeping an eye on these two for me?” She asked. 

“What? Why us?” The short guy, Fangs, asked. 

“Because, I don’t trust you two around my cousin.” She said and Sweet Pea rolled his eyes. 

“I literally saved her from a Ghoulie earlier.” He said and Toni just shrugged. “Don’t care, you two are the biggest flirts in the world and I wouldn’t be surprised if you got her drunk.” She said and walked off. 

“She’s always been protective.” I laughed. 

“I think Toni left something out when she was telling us about you.” Fangs said and I furrowed my brow. 

“What?” I asked. 

“She didn’t mention how cute you are.” He said and I couldn’t help but blush. 

“This is exactly why Toni asked me to watch you too.” Jughead said, rolling his eyes. 

“Yo Hogeye! Two beers!” Sweet Pea called and the man that called my cousin nodded. He brought Sweet Pea two beers and he offered one to me. I smiled and took it from him. 

“That’s the other reason.” Jughead sighed. 

“She’ll be fine Jones.” Sweet Pea said and I smiled. 

“Yeah, it’s just one beer.” I said. 

Getting to know Toni’s friends was awesome! Jughead shared the same sense of humor I did, he was smart, passionate, and just seemed like he’d be an awesome friend. Fangs was really cool, he was a flirt, but not as much as Sweet Pea was, and he seemed genuinely caring and sweet. Sweet Pea clearly had a sense of loyalty, but had a short temper. I knew that I would get along with everyone easily and I would really like living here. 

*Six Months Later* 

I’ve been here for half a year now and I haven’t heard anything from my Father, surprisingly. I had joined the Serpents, which everyone was very supportive of. Toni felt more like a sister to me than a cousin now and it was amazing. Jughead and I were good friends, but Sweet Pea and Fangs had become my best friends. I found myself crushing on both of them for different reasons and I felt a little guilty about it… 

I was currently at the bar working, but Toni had off tonight. She was helping Nana with something at home. I was watching Sweets and Fangs playing pool and smiled at the boys. They were betting like always and I smirked, Sweet Pea was bound to win, like always. I have never once seen Fangs beat him. The two of them walked up to the bar and Sweet Pea looked very smug, while Fangs looked sad. 

“Let me guess, Fangs is buying again?” I asked. 

“You know it Angel.” Sweets said with a smirk. 

“Maybe you’ll buy for me too when I get off in an hour?” I asked, batting my eyelashes slightly. 

“Of course Cutie, anything for you.” Fangs said and I felt my heart flutter at each of their nicknames for me. 

“Perfect, well here you go, two beers.” I said, placing the bottles on the bar. 

When I finally got off work I went to go find my two friends. I thought they would just be at the bar, but they weren’t. I was confused and decided to look near the pool table, sure enough they were there playing another game. 

“I thought you guys already played your game for tonight? What are you doing an all or nothing thing?” I asked and the two turned to face me. 

“Uh, yeah…” Fangs said and I looked at the two confused. 

“What are you guys betting this time?” I asked and they looked at each other. 

“If you wanna try and come up with a lie, you might wanna be a little more discreet about it.” I said with a small smirk. Sweet Pea sighed and looked back at me. 

“Fine, we were playing to see who got to ask you out…” He said and my eyes widened. 

“W-What?” I asked with a blush. 

“Hypothetically, who would you say yes to?” Fangs asked with a hopeful smile. 

“Dude, you can’t just ask her that!” Sweets said. 

“Why not? It’s not like we can just finish the game and do the bet now.” He said and the two looked back at me. 

“So?” Fang asked. 

“U-Uh, honestly?” I asked and they nodded. 

“Both of you.” I answered and their eyes widened. 

“What?” They asked at the same time. 

“Honestly, I have a crush on both of you. I’ve been feeling a little guilty about it because you’re both amazing and if I dated one I would still like the other and that just not fair.” I answered and they looked at each other then smiled. 

“What if you didn’t have to date just one?” Fangs asked. 

“Huh?” I asked. 

“What if you dated both of us?” Sweets asked and my eyes widened. 

“What, like a poly relationship?” I asked and they nodded. 

“And you both would be alright with that?” I asked. 

“Hey, if I have to share you with someone I’d rather it be my best friend.” Sweets answered. 

“Yeah, besides we’ve hooked up with each other before so there’s clearly some feelings there.” Fangs laughed and my eyes widened. 

“Really?” I asked and they nodded. A smile slowly made its way onto my face and I looked at the two boys I was attracted to. 

“I think this is a great idea.” I said and Sweets instantly pulled me to him. 

“You have no idea how happy you just made me with those words Angel.” He said and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. 

“Hey! She’s my girl now too!” Fangs whined and pulled me away from Pea and crashed his lips onto mine. I smiled and laughed slightly. 

“Hey!” Sweets growled and I pulled away from Fangs. 

“Alright, rule number one, no fighting over each other.” I said and they looked at each other. 

“Fine, but he can’t hog you!” They said at the same time and I laughed. 

“You two were made for each other.” I said and hugged both of them. This town just keeps getting better for me!

Tag list: @les-bio-lie​ @tashy-bear​ @ashwarren32​ @hollie-blogs-blog1​ @schisbro87​ @lover-of-books-and-teas​ @nerdygaloresposts​ @teenwolfbitches2​ @genius2050​ @drw0301bieber​ @lady-of-lies​ @ravenmoore14​ @ravenempress101​ @cillianchamp​ @rowanthomasknapp​ @rachelxwayne​ @emo-godess-loves-you​ @hiya-imthatgirl​ @mindsetjupiter​ @averysinclaire​ @mittelerde1999​ @sweetest-peas​ @rousewriter​ @camiconfessions​ @thecaptainsgingersnap​ @cenyddtheunicorn​ @jacksxsouthsideserpents @lover2448​ @hatter-madigan3​ @mamacobie13​ @staygoldsquatchling02​ @wanderlust-and-poetry​ @hiighdeex3​ @ayeitsjaz​ @skeletalwolfcat​ @scarrasco1325​ @reblogserpent​ @darkestbeforethedawn16​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @will-noble-owns-my-ass​ @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e​ 

[deniigi]

hi I have something for y’all called a disaster.

I wrote an Inimitable!Spiderman/Modern Star Wars AU because no one can stop me, not even myself. it is like 47 pages long. I am handing it tenderly to y’all.

--------------

Title: impossible scenario

Summary: Peter runs into some drunk assholes arguing, calling each other Han and Luke. He lets it roll off him until he can’t anymore and eventually finds himself for the first time on the other side of someone more chaotic than himself.

------------

There was an argument happening under a fire escape. Peter knew about it because a concerned dude wearing a fuckin’ Yankees cap had flagged him down with waving arms and told him that someone needed saving, Spiderman. Some tall asshole was kidnapping a young blond dude, the guy  and his too-cool-for-him girlfriend explained. They’d heard the two scuffling.

Peter maybe stared for a beat too long at them because the gal pointed two blocks behind him and said, “That way. I think the blond guy might be drugged. He’s slurrin’ something strong.”

Peter liked her shoes. They looked like Miles’s, but blue.

“Spidey?”

Miles told Peter all the time that he wasn’t cool enough to wear Jordans. MJ and Johnny had agreed. Such sad times.

“Spidey.”

“I got it,” Peter sighed.

The gal tsked.

“Man, you’re too young to be this jaded,” she said.

Peter sighed.

“You’re the third person to say that this week,” he said. “You think I should go back to therapy?”

There was a pause.

“You know that answer, dude,” cool-gal said. “Go save the twink.”

Twink. Got it. Thank you, citizen.

“There are websites for that shit, Spidey.”

Bye now.

“Apps, even.”

Bye, bye.

“BetterHelp or Headspace or somethin’—”

“Two blocks, you said?” Peter asked.

 --

 Two blocks away, there was indeed a man with dark hair trying to lift a violently intoxicated twink up onto the first steps of a fire escape. Peter examined his options. There were many ways to ruin a potential kidnapper’s day. His favorite involved coke and mentos, although he’d received feedback that that was a waste of perfectly good food. Down the list was also the option to walk over and scream bloody murder so that the kidnapper shat themselves and dropped their target.

That was good, but Peter was tired and the thought of mustering up the energy to scream at a noticeable volume made his thighs turn to Jell-o.

That left snark and violence.

Today, he would not choose violence. Only for today.

He strode out of his dark temporary residence between two dumpsters directly towards the tall dude and his mark. The mark was a messy one. Bless his heart, he was unwittingly making himself the most noncompliant victim to have ever victim-ed. Every time the tall guy got him almost vertical, he gave up his corporeal form to become drunk slime and ooze back to the ground with various moaning sound effects.

It would have been funny if not for the kidnapping context.

The fact that Peter had been standing there under the beams of two separate side-building security lights and neither of those two had noticed yet was also objectively funny—or would have been, if Peter had the capacity for processing humor at the moment.

Alas. This was what he got for telling Tony that he’d evolved beyond the need for sleep. He got caffeine-pilled. And there would be no true rest until that shit wore off, exhausted as Peter’s body yearned to be.

“Kid, work with me here,” the tall guy said.

“I can’t, I’ll die,” the shorter one moaned.

“Luke.”

“I’ve done my time—thirty years in AZKA—”

“Keep your voice down, oh my god.”

Peter was just standing here, fellas.

“Luke.”

“Why’s it always me? Why’s it always gotta be me? The hell did I do to piss off the whole galax-galaxy? HA. My bad, my bad. The whole universe?”

God, what a mood.

The tall guy dropped his grip on the smaller one and loomed over his puddle of ooze with poison in his gaze.

“People are going to die, Luke,” he said.

“So what? They’re always dyin’. Everywhere I go, people’re dyin’ and when it’s not them dyin’, you know who is?”

“Kid.”

“ME.”

“So you’re just gonna wallow there, feelin’ sorry for yourself?” the tall dude snapped.

“Sure am,” the puddle of ooze hummed.  

This was not a kidnapping. This was a come-to-Jesus in the back alley of a bar. Peter was not needed here. He turned around on his heel and stopped when he heard a sharp intake of breath.

“Is that?” someone whispered.

“Don’t mind me, pal, just your friendly neighborhood—” he started.

“Look what you did,” Tall and Handsome hissed at Ooze-Man. “Someone went and called Spiderman on us.”

Peter lifted a brow as Ooze-man ripped its chest up from the asphalt and composed itself back into a human shape with fluffy blonde hair and huge wide eyes.

“Omigod, it’s Spiderman,” the guy said. “Wait, no. Gimme a hand. No, not that one, fuck off, nevermind, I don’t need you.”

He drew himself up to standing, only leaning slightly on his buddy there and gave Peter as lopsided smile.

“Hi, there,” he said with a twang that Peter couldn’t place. “Were you lookin’ for someone, handsome?”

Ah, they had reached the time of night when all the drunks needed to tell Peter things he already knew about his ass. He loved this time.

Not to mention that this dude looked eerily like Johnny. Scarily like Johnny. So much like Johnny that Peter almost wanted to take a picture of him to send to Sue so that she could print up some lost and found posters.

“Just lookin’ at you, babe,” he said. “This guy botherin’ you?”

The tall guy blanched and then grabbed at his face in horror. Peter swallowed his laugh.

“He sure is, hon. You got time to rescue me?” Blondie crooned.

“Luke, please. Please.”

“Because I’m in real distress,” ‘Luke’ said with a pout mighty enough to fell Thor.

“You sure seem like it,” Peter said. “C’mere. I’ll walk you home. Leave that tool, he ain’t worth your breath.”

He held out an elbow like proper gentleman and was pleased at the hand that Luke laid over his heart in response.

Peter could imagine Johnny’s face in six different expression of jealous horror at a selfie taken with this look-alike. Each was beautiful in its own special way. As payment for being referred to counseling by the public, he at least deserved to receive at least two of those faces.

“You mean that?” Luke asked him.

“He doesn’t,” his tall companion said.

“I sure do, where do you live? I’ll walk you,” Peter said.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna cry, he’s gonna escort me,” Luke said, all choked up and fanning his eyes lightly.

This tall friend grabbed him before he could escape, though, and pulled him back behind his own body.

“Listen, Spidey, this is a misunderstanding,” he drawled. “I know this idiot—he is technically my idiot— and I’m the one escorting his ass home. Thanks, though. You’re a real menace. Beat it.”

MMMMMMM.

And here Peter had been planning on being jaded and miserable this fine night. How could he now when this dude was ticking every box that made him feel alive?

“What’s your name, dollface?” Peter asked across the short distance.

“None of your business,” Tall Guy answered abruptly.

“Luke,” Luke said around him. “Are you gonna save me?”

“In just a minute,” Peter said, striding forward with a hard roll in his shoulder and deep drop in his knees.

It was amazing how Tall Guy wanted to take some steps back all of the sudden. Peter couldn’t help but let a smirk widen his face as he advanced.

“Okay, hang on now,” Tall Guy said with both palms out in front of him. “You don’t know what this is about, Spidey. You don’t want to get involved with this, trust me. He’s just bein’ dramatic. No need to get testy.”

“You sure do a lot of talkin’ for your friend there,” Peter noted through his grin.

“Yeah, Han,” Luke said.

Ha.

Han. Han and Luke. Ned was gonna be enraptured when Peter told him about this later.

“Luke. Back me up.”

“Why should I?”

“Because,” ‘Han’ finally snapped. “I’m not doin’ this because I want you to suffer, alright? I don’t want nothin’ to do with it either, okay? No one does. But it’s this or—”

“Or everyone else,” Luke finished for him in a strangely toneless voice.

Han sighed.

“It’s always everyone else,” Luke said.

“Not here.”

“Why’s it always everyone el—No, no, here. Why not? We’ve got fucking Spiderman in our midst, how much more surreal can this moment get? No. You listen to me, Han—”

“I’ve been listening to you all damn evening and you know what I’m hearing?”

“—I lost my life for this. I lost my home, my aunt, my uncle, my hand—”

“I’m hearing you making this about you.”

“—everything I ever knew, and I tried to make it right, didn’t I? I made the school. I gathered the kids—”

“And it’s not just about you this time, kid. It’s not about you, it’s not about me, or Leia, or Chewie or—”

“—I lost my kid and the love of my life, and I finally get a second chance at finding them and giving them the goddamn happy ending they deserve, and the next thing I know—”

“Luke, you’re the only one,” Han said.

“I WAS NEVER. THE ONLY. ONE, HAN,” Luke roared out of absolutely nowhere, sober as a saint. “I was never the only one. EVER. Ahsoka. Go find her. She’s everything that I’m not and more. She’s the real—”

“Luke.”

“Stop saying that name. I HATE that name. I would do anything for twenty goddamn seconds where I didn’t have to be him.”

“You don’t mean that,” Han said quietly. His shoulders had rounded out and become black and heavy under the weight of their shadow. Luke’s eyes, however, looked like topaz.

“I mean it,” Luke said.

Oho.

So shit had gotten real tense, real fast, so Peter about to make a decision that was gonna make Shelley so proud of him she would weep when he finally slunk back in through her office door.

He was leaving. He was turning around and taking a wee jog. Maybe turning a corner, having a little jump over a fence, up a wall, to a place as far away from this one as superhumanly possible.

Bye, bye.

“This galaxy needs you, Luke.”

Peter stopped five paces away.

“They need you,” Han repeated. “And I need you.”

Peter slowly looked back to see that Luke’s face had twisted sharply out of the light, towards the alley wall.

“I’m sorry that we met again like this,” Han said quietly. “I’m sorry it’s always you. You don’t deserve this. No one deserves this.”

“Shut up,” Luke said.

“But if you don’t do something, then it won’t be just me and you and all these random others sliding back into that cesspit we all barely crawled out of.”

“Stop.”

“You’ll never find him if things go back the way they were.”

“You—you don’t know that. There—maybe—”

“Luke. Listen to me. Please.”

“Maybe there’s a chance—”

“Luke,” Han said reaching out and putting a hand on Luke’s shoulder and clenching it hard enough that Peter should see the bunched fabric, “Do you want Din to live through this shitshow a second time? Hasn’t he suffered enough?”

Peter shivered. The pressure at the base of his neck was building. The Spidey Sense wanted to hiss in his ears like white noise. It pinned him where he was, staring over his shoulder at those two solid shapes, one digging a hand into the flesh of the other.

His stomach turned.

Luke said something that Peter couldn’t hear. Han pulled him toward his own body by the grip he had on his shoulder. At first, Luke seemed to stagger, like he was walking on black ice. He stopped a single step away from Han’s body, still with his face angled severely away. Han said something to him.

There was a long pause, then Luke seemed to fall forward. Han caught him and crushed his head into his shoulder, lowering his own until it was almost touching Luke’s ear. They clung to each other.

Luke was crying.

The Spidey Sense started to crackle and pop in Peter’s ears.

“I gotchu, kid,” Han said in a rasp. “I gotchu. We’re gonna get through it.”

Peter blinked once and finally unlocked the muscles in his neck. He wasn’t meant to witness this. He held out a wrist and fired a line.

  --

It was weird.

It was just weird.

Something wasn’t right. And Peter couldn’t make his stomach not writhe about it.

Luke.

Han.

An offhand mention of like, characters. Character names. They were character names. Leia, Chewie.

Peter had heard of people who lived their lives honestly believing that they had been other people—fake people—in past lives, but like, damn man. Why would you put yourself in a position like that were you were moved to actual tears for some elaborate street-drama?

Maybe it had been a joke? That was the only thing he could think it could be. Maybe the universe had gazed upon his hubris at work and gone ‘ah yes, I know what this young man needs: emotional confusion at midnight on a Thursday. That’ll fix him.’

If that was the case, then yeah. Good job, universe. Good job, larpers. Y’all are equally sick.

But if not—and Peter no longer lived in a world where he could rule out any possibilities—then he had just witnessed—Dude, he’d just witnessed—

He couldn’t even think it. It was beyond him. It was so far beyond him that like he might have a real stroke taking the thought seriously.

There was only one person who could hold that kind of information unscathed.

Only one.

  --

PP: Ned. I need you to listen to me and tell me I’m not crazy.

NL: no promises but go on

PP: I think? I just saw? Luke Skywalker? And Han Solo? In an alley behind Kitty’s?????

NL: fascinating

JS: Say more

PP: who let you in here?

JS: you?

PP: SECURITY

NL: Peter say more

PP: I can’t there’s a nerd in here and it’s vibrating at the wrong decibel. SECURITY???

MJ: yeah?

PP: I’m trying to have a breakdown. Can you remove Matchstick please?

MJ: what kind of breakdown

JS: he thinks he met Luke Skywalker

PP: Security has failed me. God?

NL: Peter can you name three things you can see.

PP: I am not manic. I am in touch with reality. I’m just having anxiety because I just fucking saw two people calling each other Luke and Han fighting behind Kitty’s. Like real fighting.

JS: nicknames?

PP: I—

PP: oh my god nicknames

PP: Johnny I’m so sorry I ever doubted you. never leave my side

JS: 😊

MJ: wow that’s cringe. Imagine naming yourself after SW characters

NL: does kitty do a cosplay night now????

PP: idk it was wild. People thought that ‘Han’ was trying to kidnap ‘Luke’ but when I got over there, Luke started flirting with me and then shit got real and they started arguing over like him hating his name and not wanting to do something and losing everything or some shit

NL: that’s a lot. I’m sure it was nothing, though, peter.

PP: yeah it was. My SS has been going nuts ever since I left. You think they bugged me?

JS: yes I will come search your body imminently

MJ: my job storm, back off

JS: after MJ has finished prelim checks, I will then search your body for you out of the kindness of my heart ❤

NL: that’s weird, the SS doesn’t usually freak out about cosplayers

PP: ikr?

NL: lol imagine if they were serious

MJ: don’t say that

JS: well now we have to lean in. thanks ned

JS: they were definitely real. God they were so real. You hear that Fate? You got us. They’re definitely real.

PP: BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE?

MJ: cue breakdown

NL: that would be so fucking funny. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo trying to save the world from the hellscape of nyc. The rats alone would thwart them.

PP: ned I’m freaking out

NL: oh you mean you’re actually freaking out?

PP: deeply

NL: oh shit sorry. I’ll be over, have you slept yet?

PP: NO

MJ: on it

JS: can I join?

NL: no johnny

MJ: no johnny

PP: 😭

JS: one day our love will build a bridge, peter. In the meantime I am stroking your ear comfortingly from midtown

  --

Need and MJ’s weight pinning him to a mattress brought sleep but not necessarily comfort. They both thought that this was a sick joke someone had played on him that was now destroying his psyche. They thought that the couple pointing him back towards the cosplayers had been in on the joke.

Peter would have agreed with them if it wasn’t for the Spidey Sense. Everything else lined up perfectly.

Ned sighed in the morning and told Peter to go talk to Wade.

 --

 Wade’s hallucinations were, by far, more auditory than visual, but he stayed quiet while Peter talked his ear off over the phone in his locked office. He waited until Peter had run out of words to describe the feeling of impending doom and then huffed a bit of a laugh into the receiver.

“Them Star Wars people are unreal, Pete, you know this,” he said. “Look at Ned.”

Ned was perfect.

“Take off those rosy shades, hon. Now, look again.”

Ned had perhaps memorized the entire scripts of the first three movie and 90% of the spaceship names and the jedi lineages.

“Uh-huh. Keep going.”

Peter didn’t want to.

“We all gotta do shit we don’t want do.”

Fine.

Ned’s goal in life was to go to his wedding in a stormtrooper suit.

“Keep going.”

Every Lego project they’d built together since 13 years-old had been a Star Wars-related one. When Ned had decided to move out of his parents’ place, he’d shed actual tears over MJ and Peter mutually suggesting that he sell some of his memorabilia.

“Will this delightful buffet before our very eyes, what is the likelihood of your two pals being drunk larpers in too deep to quit?” Wade asked.

73%.

“Uh-huh.”

“Thanks, Wade.”

“No problem. Although, now I gotta see this. You said they were behind Kitty’s? You think I can get a stormtrooper costume in 8 hours?”

“They’re not still gonna be there, Wade,” Peter huffed. “It’s 10 am.”

“You ain’t know that. What if Luke Skywalker’s a useless drunk, huh? You ever think of that?”

No.

“What’d he look like?”

Peter groaned.

“He looked like Luke Skywalker,” he said. “Blond hair, blue eyes—sort of like a chipmunk that forgot its stripes.”

“I’m onto you, Skywalker.”

Peter hung up to Wade’s cackle. He slouched low and tapped his pen against his desk. Then against his fingers.

He stared at the edge of his keyboard.

“What’s the weirdest thing you could imagine, Pete?” he asked himself.

 --

 PP: sam

SC: yeah?

PP: do you like star wars?

SC: nah

PP: you’re perfect

PP: do you believe in past lives?

SC: like spiritually or culturally? I know I was a cult-kid for a min there but before that we were Buddhists and like, past lives are part of the package

PP: that’s cool. What do you think of people being reborn as themselves again like, 500000000 years later? From a galaxy far far away?

SC: I don’t think about those people

PP: okay well, hypothetically. Let’s say that you were going to imagine someone who embodied that whole spirit. Who would it be?

SC: Buddha

PP: not buddha

SC: is this a riddle? Is it Jesus?

PP: THOR. Thank you this has been helpful ily bye

  Mr. Stark asked him over a cup of viciously black coffee why Peter was seeking out the demigod of his present nightmares.

That usually meant that he and Thor had disagreed on basic physics principles again. Peter took that also to mean that the demigod was still in the building. Possibly loose.

“He’s with Banner,” Mr. Stark said scathingly.

“Thanks, you’re amazing,” Peter said as he sailed out of the room.

 --

 Thor was sitting on Dr. Banner’s lab table, despite Dr. Banner telling him to get off no fewer than two times in the five minutes that Peter was in there, schmoozing and making pleasantries. He warmed Thor up to the home-run hit by asking him all about past lives and present lives and what the soul was on Asgard. Thor was only too happy to explain a load of nonsense that made Banner roll his eyes and poke at his muscles with a thermometer.

“So, hypothetically speaking,” Peter drawled in a very casual lean, “With the infinite galaxies and universes, etcetera, there could be one where Star Wars people exist. And so hypothetically, they could get reborn into a universe like ours.”

Thor blinked at him.

“You remember the laser swords?” Dr. Banner deadpanned.

Thor lit up.

“I suppose it’s possible,” he told Peter indulgently. “But if that was the case then it would be a long tragedy, no?”

…yes…

Say more, Thor-man.

“Well,” Thor said with a big, happy smile, “The series of events that unfolded in that story seemed to me to be one of triumph and tragedy. With one would come the other—that’s how these stories work, yes?”

…yes.

“So if Master Luke Skywalker and his companions arrived into our space here, then they must experience the same in order to be themselves,” Thor said, bobbing his head in pity. “Perhaps what would look like a new start for such people would result only in terror and disappointment until the same conclusion was reached.”

Peter felt his own grin twitch.

“So it’s not impossible?” he asked.

Both Thor and Banner looked at him quizzically at the same time.

“Peter?” Dr. Banner asked. “Is this coming from somewhere?”

Peter’s grin twitched so violently, it turned into a grimace that even superstrength would not let him maintain.

“Can I borrow one of you?” he asked.

 --

 Wade was not happy to be met outside of Kitty’s in the middle of the day, especially because his stormtrooper outfit, in his words, ‘did no justice for the size of his balls.’

Peter was ignoring that. He dragged Thor past Wade’s righteous anger until he was standing on the place where the other two had stood the night before. Thor stood there gamely.

“There,” Peter said. “Any like, energy signatures?”

Thor glanced around and shrugged.

Wade scowled at him and hounded him off the spot so that he could stand there instead.

“I feel nothing,” he said, devoid of emotion.

“Same,” Thor said.

Damnit.

“Perhaps you are—”

The Spidey Sense smashed through all of Peter’s sense and screamed at him to get to the street.

Get to the street. Get to the street. Get to the—

There.

Across the way. Chipmunk, no stripes.

That was the guy from the day before. He was on the opposite sidewalk smashed in with the crowd, dragging a hand through his hair and laden with a backpack and two separate totes. He was wearing a strange set of clothes—a mash of casual and formal—and seemed to be in a hurry, the type of hurry that involved pushing past folks at a half-jog and not stopping at streetlights.

“Got ‘im,” Peter hissed.

“No shit?” Wade asked over his shoulder.

Thor made a sound of interest.

“I see him, too,” he said. “What incredible energy, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Wh—

Peter whirled on him.

“Don’t you fucking say that,” he warned. “I’m gonna go distract. You two, on my six.”

 --

 Peter broke four traffic laws on his way around the block. He swung himself around a corner and fucked up the collar on his labcoat and counted to four before stepping out right into ‘Luke’s path.

They collided. Luke stumbled back and dropped one of his totes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Peter blustered. “Are you okay?”

Luke swore and dropped down without answering, collecting the odd ends of metal that had clattered out from his bag and now rolled loose over the pavement. Peter stooped to join, gathering rings and pipes of all sorts of sizes in his hands. Oncoming folks gave them a wide berth.

It took a moment for Luke to realize what Peter was doing, but when he did, his shoulders went stiff as a board.

“DON’T TOUCH THOSE,” he snapped, just as Peter made to pick up a little plastic bag with a wad of tissue inside it.

Peter froze.

“Oh. Sorry,” he said.

This time, Luke finally met his eye.

“Oh, Jesus. No. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Luke blustered, “Thank you. I’ll—I’ve got them. Thank you, though. It’s okay.”

He took the metal out of Peter’s hands and stuffed them back into his bag. He snatched the plastic bag before Peter could touch it and put that on top.

“Excuse me,” he said as he stood. “Thanks again.”

And just like that, he hurried off past Peter down the pavement.

Peter watched him go.

“Catch?” Wade asked softly from the corner.

“Negative,” Peter said, reaching into his sleeve and holding up the thin aluminum tube he’d hidden up there by the edge of his shirt-sleeve.

It was shiny and longer than he’d expect for any plumbing project. The inside appeared to be coated with some sort of heavy, non-reactive material, and half of the outside had grooved bands carved into it.

“Someone’s building something,” he said.

“Mid-century sink?” Wade asked, taking the tube.

“Nope,” Peter said.

 --

 NL: That is a lightsaber hilt

NL: where did you get that? It’s like mega accurate. Was it etsy?

PP: I stole it

NL: give it back

PP: I can’t I stole it from Luke Skywalker.

NL: Peter.

NL: we talked about this.

PP: He’s Luke Skywalker. I swear on the grave of my mother

MJ: this is a problem. This is now an intervention.

PP: I will prove it. If he’s Luke Skywalker, then he will do ANYTHING to get this thing back.

NL: and if not?

PP: then I will wait two days before politely tracking down his home address and then I will return it via wall crawling

JS: UM

JS: SORRY

JS: PETER CAN YOU CALL ME?

PP: no

NL: no

MJ: no

JS: are

JS: are you sure??? Because there’s a guy in Reed’s lab right now talking to him and Sue, asking SUPER politely for access to—I shit you not—the crystals we picked up from that space trip the other day???

NL: …

PP: …

MJ: …

PP: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MJ: fake

NL: no way

PP: WHAT’S HIS NAME, JOHNNY BOY????

JS: I can’t

PP: nope you gotta

JS: I can’t I’m gonna cry I didn’t ask for this

MJ: out with it

NL: please say it’s obi-wan

JS: HHHHHHHHHHH

JS: nope

JS: just a guy named Ben 🙃

PP: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

PP: I told you motherfuckers

JS: right. So like. Awkward. But you uh, know that hilt thing you have?

PP: …is Obi-Wan Kenobi about to beat my ass, Johnny?

 --

 There was something about putting the hilt into the palm of someone more famous than Captain America that made Peter’s knees weak.

It did not help that Luke Skywalker had flirted with him the other night.

It did not help that Luke Skywalker didn’t recognize him as Spiderman.

Nothing helped, really, especially when those big topaz eyes lifted and Peter could see that their rims were red and raw.

“Thanks,” Luke Skywalker—the embodiment of hope itself—said in a soft, defeated rasp.

Every alarm in Peter’s head said to save him. Save him from what? How? Who knew.

Ned and MJ seemed to feel the same way, if the pressure on each of his arms was anything to go by.

“Well, that’s all cleared up, then. Thank you so much for your help; it is deeply appreciated,” a stupidly pleasant gentleman with a perfectly combed beard and lovingly coifed light hair said to the room at large.

Obi-Wan Kenobi—pardon, Ben Kennedi—was far more handsome than any movie could ever dream to make him. What they’d done to him in the 1970s, Peter saw now, was a fucking crime. He watched as this beautiful human being set a warm hand on Luke Skywalker’s—pardon, Luke Naberry’s—shoulder and used it to steer him towards the Baxter Building’s front entrance.

He watched as the two of them, like true Master and Padawan, stepped out onto the landing and opted for the stairs. For one fleeting, unbelievable second, Luke looked back over his shoulder at all of them before taking the next step after his Master.

He was right the other night.

He wasn’t the only jedi. Not anymore.

“So that just happened,” Sue acknowledged for everyone after the door had clicked closed and the sound of footsteps had faded off to nothing.

“I’m going to cry,” Reed announced.

“This is single-handedly the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Ned said.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi walked into our kitchen,” Reed told Sue like she hadn’t been there right next to him.

“The empire is trying to establish itself under our very feet,” Sue said back a little viciously.

“The real empire,” Reed whimpered.

Wait.

No, go back.

“For real?” Peter asked.

Sue and Reed looked back at the rest of them and then exchanged a look.

 --

 Peter was sad now. Depressed and laid out on his side staring back at Valeria’s huge eyes on the floor while Ned and MJ and Johnny asked Reed and Sue two hundred clarifying questions.

Peter didn’t need the specifics. He was thinking back on the conversation that he’d witnessed between Luke and Han Solo—Han Solo who was tall with dark hair and dark eyes and an accent straight out of New Jersey. Solo who had probably been charged with forcing Luke to face the facts in front of all of them because he was the one who Luke trusted most.

But it had shattered them—both of them.

The New Hope had given up everything. He was tired. His heart was torn. He was jaded just like Peter had been that same night. He’d been avoiding the tightrope that Peter had already started crossing, though, probably looking for every possible way to not have to set the first foot on that wobbly line.

He’d walked it before.

Valeria reached out with a chubby, round hand and touched the side of Peter’s face.

“Spiderman,” she said with terrifying understanding, “Someone needs help.”

He wriggled in close enough to bonk heads with her.

“Baby Storm,” he whispered, “I think you’re right.”

  --

MJ thought that Peter needed to leave things alone. She pointed out that he had plenty of problems without getting involved in universe-saving. She gestured to Johnny and volunteered him for the job.

Johnny refused on account of needing to be the prettiest blond in any room. He claimed that if he wasn’t, he had to fight for dominance.

Ned was on the other end of the spectrum. He had 43 reasons why Peter should get involved with things, and 40 of them ended up in the same place which was ‘it would be cool.’

One of Ned’s better reasons, however, involved pointing out that Peter had already stolen half of a lightsaber. He was good and involved now, whether he wanted to be or not. And that was enough for Peter to decide to go on a hunt to give a formal apology.

He recruited Ned to help him locate Luke Skywalker.

That didn’t work.

They tried Luke Naberry.

That didn’t work either.

They ended up going through every possible iteration of every Star Wars name they knew and then filtered out the people who’d been named by exuberant parents and then filtered out anyone who didn’t live in New York and they ended up with fat lot of still nothing.

It was like Luke Skywalker didn’t truly exist in this world.

Until MJ found his Instagram by typing in ‘guys who look weirdly like Luke Skywalker.’

She held the phone aloft in triumph and they all gathered round to gape in awe at her intelligence and research skills.

Luke’s Instagram was nothing but pictures of coffee.

He had one selfie and this selfie was enough to have gotten him onto a BuzzFeed article. In it he was holding—you guessed it—coffee. Iced coffee. One in each hand.

He was shaking them, and one had been labeled with his name—hence the public connection made.

“Someone needs to tell him that coffee is not a food group,” Johnny observed.

“Maybe he works nights,” MJ said.

Ned lifted an eyebrow.

“Maybe this is his job,” he said.

There was a pause.

Some snooping revealed that Luke was an honest to god food website editor. He was a cameraman.

Repeat. Luke Skywalker, cameraman. He filmed all the food hosts for his company’s Youtube channel. He edited videos. He more or less blended into the background of everything, while having his finger prints on damn near everything.

This was a man after Peter’s own soul. They were kindred spirits in hidden identities, content creation, and suffering under a boulder of responsibility too great to cope with.

He had to find him now.

And after they had his Instagram it wasn’t too hard. He seemed to hang out in various parts of the Bronx and Peter just so happened to know some folks out that way.

 --

 Louis told Peter that he would never speak to him again if he found, befriended, and then didn’t share Luke Skywalker (the man, the real man, I’m not fucking with you, Louis). But he also recognized a place on Luke’s instagram that he seemed to be working his way through the menu of. He sent along an address and told Peter not to forget his promises.

Angel asked why he was looking for Johnny Storm in the Bronx.

Peter left Louis to rattle sense into her.

He took a walk on Saturday morning. A long walk. A long train ride, then a walk, then a half hour of squinting, and then, lo and behold, he found a blond guy banging his head into the center of an out door metal table across from a woman with heavy braids trailing down the sides of her neck. She was much older than him and drummed white-painted fingernails across her cheek as she thought.

Peter hid and called Ned and MJ for an ID. He peeked the phone’s camera out enough for them to see the other two and then snatched it back.

Ned was about to flip a table.

“That’s clearly Ahsoka Tano,” he said. “She—the braids, dude. Dead give-away. And she put ribbons in them, like what even is discretion?”

Peter didn’t know that person. He continued not to know this person, even as Ned dragged him through a trainwreck of Star Wars lore.

“So she’s a friend,” he said.

“She’s like a jedi, but not like a jedi, she was a jedi, but then she said ‘fuck the order’ and—”

Great. Peter was approaching.

Ned held his face in his hands. MJ told Peter to report back on his findings. Peter ended the call and inched closer, weaving through the crowd and slipping into the coffee joint to see what nonsense they were selling.

It was nonsense with lots of syrup. He could never say no to syrup.

He watched the two outside while waiting for his order. Luke gesticulated to his friend and she spoke, giving reasonable gestures back. He stopped her and dug out his phone and that little plastic baggy full of fluffy material. He answered his phone. His friend took the little bag and held it up to the light.

She frowned at it.

Luke pushed away from the table and walked away to take his call. Peter’s order was called. He grabbed it and swerved out towards the patio.

“Hello,” he said at the edge of Luke and his friend’s table. “Is this seat taken?”

Luke’s friend stared at him.

“It is,” she said. “Move along, hon, you’re ten years too young.”

Wow.

“For your friend?” Peter tried. “Could I leave my number?”

He had this lady’s attention now. She was looking him up and down, appraising. Peter tried not to flex. He stayed cool. Matt-levels of cool. He smiled winningly.

“Alright, why not?” she said, digging through her bag for a receipt and a pen. Peter beamed as he leaned down to scrawl his number down on the back. He got halfway through before he heard a step stop nearby.

“Look alive, kid,” Luke’s friend said. “Hey, Luke, this guy was just—”

“You again?” Luke said.

Peter lifted his head and brows.

“Hi,” he said. “I just wanted to apologize.”

There was a long silence.

Luke’s friend looked between them and then gave Luke a long, judgmental stare.

“You don’t have to,” Luke said. “Thanks, though. How did you find me here?”

Mmm. Beginner’s luck.

“Here,” Peter said, offering his number on the receipt. “If you ever need someone to talk to who gets it.”

Luke’s friend bit her lip and looked away in secondhand embarrassment. Peter ignored her for now.

“Thanks,” Luke said. “You don’t and you won’t. But you’re very pretty.”

Nice.

“You’d be surprised,” Peter told him. “Gimme a text. I’ll leave y’all alone now. Enjoy your coffee.”

He left. But not before hearing, “but that ass, Luke.”

 --

 Ned told him that there was no way that Luke was ever going to text him and he was disappointed in Peter’s hostage-taking skills.

But he was proved wrong two hours later and, for his crimes, had to admit Peter’s brilliance publicly.

 LS: hi sorry. This is Luke. This morning when you stopped by our table, did you happen to see a little plastic bag on it?

 Why yes. The one in Peter’s pocket right now? That bag?

 PP: hi!! I did, actually. You guys aren’t very subtle 😏

LS: it’s not coke

PP: I’m not judging

LS: no, it’s not coke, I swear. It’s something INFINITELY more important. Did you happen to see if it had fallen on the ground?

PP: ah, no, sorry. I didn’t see it

PP: OH NO

PP: oh my god I’m so sorry, I think I took it with me when I accidentally took your friend’s pen.

LS: I

LS: what’s your name?

PP: Peter ❤

LS: Peter, you have a fucking problem

LS: I’m starting to think that you want something from me. And listen, you’re a handsome guy, but I’m not available and my type isn’t kleptomaniac. What do you want for it?

PP: well you got me

PP: to talk

LS: about what?

PP: mostly about why you look like you’re a wet phonebook in a bad gutter

LS: a phonebook???? What era are you even from????

PP: I could say the same to you, sir.

LS: I

LS: wh

LS: alright touche. The point is that I’m not going to talk to you. I just need that bag back. It’s a life and death situation.

PP: what are they? They aren’t coke crystals.

LS: how would you know?

PP: what are you, a cop?

LS: NO. This is going nowhere. What. Do. You. Want?

PP: To. Talk.

LS: I’m not going to talk to you.

PP: then why did you ask me to rescue you?

 He held his breath.

 LS: I didn’t

PP: you did

LS: I didn’t ask you for shit. This is it. What’s your last name.

PP: Man 😊

LS: Man what

PP: That’s my last name.

LS: Peter Man.

PP: oop, nope, sorry. That’s someone else.

LS: …so I’m calling the police, now. That’s what we’re saying?

PP: depends. Do you still need to be rescued?

 Come on, Skywalker. Come on, remember.

 LS: I never asked you to rescue me.

PP: You did. Think back.

LS: I didn’t

LS: I just made a joke to

LS: WHAT AFAJSDFA DTTH E FUCK

 Peter cackled and let himself fall onto his back.

 PP: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ❤

LS: YOU’RE

PP: Just your friendly neighborhood guy ❤

LS: YOU

LS: you

PP: me

LS: THAT’s how the storms knew you

PP: yep 💋

LS: I don’t even know what to say

PP: it’s okay, you don’t have to say shit. The main thing I wanted you to know was that I hear you. And if you need it, I’ve got you.

LS: You’re literally trying to rescue me??

PP: it’s my job

LS: IT ISN’T. How have you never been arrested? how did you find me? Did you track my phone? Is it some kind of spider thing???

PP: yes

LS: I am legally obligated to kill you with the force now

PP: harder daddy

LS: ADaaSDASFSDFSdd

LS: oh my god Han is going to lose his gourd

LS: I’m sorry I just I can’t believe you of all people stole my damn hilt

PP: I’ve got……………………..sticky fingers

LS: go die

LS: no I didn’t mean that sorry that’s a thing with me and my sister. I mean, okay. You got me. Hero of NYC.

 Peter’s cheeks were starting to hurt.

 PP: I’ll bring them back to you.

LS: Please do, Ben’s about to have a stroke.

PP: you mean obi-wan?

LS: he’s convinced his cat ate them. There’s a staring contest happening. No one has blinked in two minutes and I don’t want to be here for the internal investigation.

PP: where do you live?

 Luke sent an address. Peter held his phone high and walked it into the living room where Ned was bitchily composing an Instagram post. He and MJ looked up at the same time.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Peter said. “Luke Skywalker and Co. live in a cemetery.”

 --

 It wasn’t a cemetery. It was a funeral home, but close enough.

Luke was waiting outside on the stoop in a cardigan about four sizes too big for him. It was there probably to protect him from the equally large ragdoll cat in his arms.

Peter smiled. Luke stared at him and then shook his head and went through the screen door. Ned gave Peter a biting look.

“Made friends, I see,” he said.

“We’re doin’ great,” Peter told him, hopping up the stairs. “Look at us, totally—”

“Insidious.”

Peter stopped and turned nervously to see through the screen door where Obi-Wan Kenobi had seized both of the cat’s cheeks. Luke continued to hold it with maximum doneness levels.

“Where have you been?” Obi-Wan asked the cat seriously.

“We have guests,” Luke said. “Take your beast.”

Obi-Wan snatched the cat out of Luke’s arms with contempt all over his face.

“You are a villain of the highest order,” he told it.

“Ben. Guests. Please evacuate. I am hosting negotiations,” Luke said.

“We should have named you ‘Sith.’”

“Ben.”

Peter was not going to laugh at Obi-Wan Kenobi. That was too surreal.

“Come in,” Luke said, returning to hold open the screen. “I hope you’re not allergic. There are two of them.”

T-two?

“The other one is Junior.”

Peter stepped over the threshold and found himself in a room that looked like a human birdhouse. It was full of surfaces that were almost completely empty, as though an enrichment object had once lived there but had been removed as punishment. Luke waved Ned and MJ in and accepted their apologies on Peter’s behalf.

Peter ignored them to lock eyes with a creature more stunning than any he had ever encountered. It sat on the kitchen counter by a single clear jar labelled ‘Not Spice.’ It blinked grumpy green eyes.

“Oh, it’s these people again?”

They all looked behind them to see Obi-Wan peering around a doorframe with the first cat draped over his shoulders.

“Kleptomaniac,” Luke said, pointing at Peter. Peter waved.

“Huh,” Obi-Wan said simply. “I will distract Ahsoka.”

He vanished. Luke grimaced after him.

“Let’s go talk in the back,” he said. “There are no bodies, I promise.”

 --

 The funeral home had a little deck and a yard small even for this far out in Queens. It was crammed full of plants that appeared to be in a competition to bloom. Luke invited them to sit and then left to make coffee.

Coffee, yes, how had Peter forgotten.

He peeked over the side of the deck down where there was a large stone set in the center of the garden.

“A seeing stone,” Ned whispered to him.

“Oh, how did you know?”

They all jumped.

Peter swore that Obi-Wan hadn’t opened that sliding door. How had—what—

Ned was at a loss for words in the face of one of his greatest heroes.

“I—uh. M-movie? I mean, sorry. It was in The Mandalorian, second season, with the—”

“Yet more television,” Obi-Wan said derisively.

They all stared.

“Can you teleport?” MJ asked him.

“I thought you were bothering Ahsoka?” Luke asked, from inside. He squeezed past the man and his cat with three glass mugs in hand. He set them down on the little square table off to the side of the desk railing.

“I was, but then I got curious,” Obi-Wan said. “And I lost Junior.”

Luke stared at him.

“I’m going to lock you in the basement,” he said.

“Try, try, and try again,” Obi-Wan told him, petting his beloved cat’s head.

“Do you even know who Spiderman is, old man?”

“More television.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Peter had to keep a conscious watch on his jaw, lest it fall open in the face of the most handsome, clueless man on the planet. He watched as Obi-Wan, disgusted with all this ‘television’ nonsense skulked back off into the guts of the home. Luke shut the door behind him.

“So,” he said, holding out his hand. “We’re talking. Fork ‘em.”

Ah.

Fair was fair.

Peter produced the plastic bag from his pocket and handed it over. There was a shout somewhere inside followed by someone going ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

“Ben keeps our home ghost free. He terrifies all the wannabee haunters,” Luke said simply. “Thank you for these. I imagine it’s somewhat of a shock to learn that it’s all real.”

It was, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing Peter had encountered by far.

“How long have you lived in New York?” he asked conversationally.

Luke gave him a weird brow.

He seemed smaller than before in that enormous cardigan. Certainly smaller than the movies made him seem. His face was a little thinner too, and his lips seemed to slope into an almost permanent pout.

“About twenty years,” he said. “We were born in California, but Anakin moved us here when we were eight.”

Anakin? Like, Darth Vader, Anakin?

“’Luke, I am your father’—yeah, that guy,” Luke said with a scoff. “Except, you know, he ain’t dead. And he’s the only one who can make Ben remember that tea isn’t a meal, so we keep him around for that and to scream back at Leia.”

Peter was already completely lost to the dynamics of this household. It wasn’t like the books and movies—Ned’s twitching for his phone to take notes was proof enough of that.

“That’s awkward,” MJ said. “So did y’all do like, collective counselling for the past life shit?”

Luke deflated and moaned into his hands.

“It’s not past life shit if your damn name is the same,” he said. “It’s complicated.”

It sounded like it.

Imagine growing up with your apparently-Star War-obsessed father and uncle who’d built a home and a business (presumably) around that shit, only to find out later that they’d done it because it was literally their religion.

What a trip.

“When did you find out?” Peter asked gently.

“Oh, you know. Last week,” Luke said with a bitter grin. “Quit my fulltime job. Dumped my ex. Broke my lease and now here I am. Once again. Back at this place.”

“Do you want a hug?” Ned asked into the awkward silence.

“You’re very sweet,” Luke said. “If I touch another human, I will start crying and never stop.”

Yikes.

Barely holdin’ on by a thread there, buddy? How’s the hyperawareness going?

“Why does it matter, is my question. For you, I mean,” Luke said with a suspicious squint. “You fought a goblin guy, didn’t you? With a hover board?”

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, yeah.

Yeah, Peter sure had done that.

“And like, the bird dude? Didn’t you down a plane?”

Perhaps.

But Luke had blown up the Deathstar, no?

“These things are not equivalent,” Luke said flatly. “I joined a rebel alliance. There were loads of us.”

Mmm. Perhaps so.

“God, how old are you even? You look 22.”

Peter gawked.

“I’m 27,” he said.

Luke did a double-take.

“That’s a lie,” he accused. “Tell the truth or be compelled.”

“By the Force?” Ned asked hopefully.

Luke blinked at him. He pointed at the glass sliding door which revealed Obi-Wan holding Junior the cat above his head by the kitchen sink.

“The Force,” he said.

Ned’s face fell.

“Do we not have the Force, here?” he asked.

Luke flinched.

“Listen,” he said abruptly, “We’re workin’ on it. This isn’t our original galaxy. The rules are all different. The only one who’s managed to make even a spark happen is Obi-Wan so far, but as soon as we find Master Yoda, it’s over. We’ll already have won.”

“You lost Yoda,” MJ mused.

Luke stammered and caught himself.

“We lost a lot of people,” he snapped. “It happens when you shift galaxies. Anyways, that’s what the stone is for.”

MJ glanced back at the stone and then leaned her forearms onto the small table.

“So, let me get this straight,” she said. “You jedi folks all popped up over here by some cosmic accident. You don’t have the Force. Most of you don’t even remember who you are. You lost your most experienced Master, and you’re going to fight the Sith?”

Peter stirred his coffee nervously.

Luke’s eye twitched.

“We don’t need the others,” he said. “We only need the Force. To fight the Sith. Yes.”

MJ frowned deep and held her chin with both hands.

“So you need the thing you for sure don’t have the most,” she said.

Luke opened his mouth, but not before the window by the door snapped open and Obi-Wan leaned out to say, “We always have the Force.”

Luke covered his face in despair.

“I was listening from the kitchen window,” Obi-Wan told him lovingly.

“GO FIND CODY ALREADY,” Luke roared at him.

“I did, he’s right here,” Obi-Wan said soothingly, stroking his angry cat.

“The other Cody.”

“Oh, I am trying, don’t you worry.”

“Ben, so help me God—”

“Force.”

“SO HELP ME FORCE—”

Star Wars had really left out the part about Luke’s explosive temper. Peter winced, but Ned laughed and the sound seemed to have a calming effect on Jedi-on-Jedi crime about to take place in the kitchen. Obi-Wan appeared pleased with this development and emboldened. He wove past Luke out onto the desk and came over, cat and all, to point down to the seeing stone in the middle of the garden.

“Others who feel the Force’s energy will be drawn to it,” he told Ned fondly. “It’s how we got Luke back home.”

“It’s not,” Luke said. “You called me.”

“And so others will also come,” Obi-Wan said with confidence. “The most important thing is that we believe in the Force. And from that, we will find guidance and power and—”

“He means Yoda,” Luke translated. “He’s been putting frogs on it as an offering, even though me, Ahsoka, and Anakin told him that this is a human’s world. A human’s world, Ben. Even if he did eat them, he’s not eating them raw.”

“Don’t be discouraged by Luke’s attitude, he is very stressed,” Obi-Wan told Ned and Ned only affectionately. “I told him not to be, you see there are four of us here already, and the Chosen One is among us.”

“Anakin told you to stop calling him that,” Luke moaned, massaging his temples.

“He was the first to be aware of our present situation,” Obi-Wan said.

“He took a hallucinogen and had a paranoid breakdown,” Luke pleaded. “Ben, please. Go inside. Think of your blood pressure.”

“Perhaps, but it was a useful breakdown, was it not?”

“I am so sorry for him, he’s getting senile,” Luke said to the rest of them.

“Your energy is different,” Obi-Wan informed Peter out of absolutely nowhere. “Are you also Force-sensitive? Were you drawn to the stone?”

Er.

No.

Sorry?

“He’s Spiderman,” Luke said, gesturing pointedly. “Remember Spiderman?”

Obi-Wan did not. Peter suspected, actually, that Obi-Wan still used phonebooks, if he used phones at all, that was.

Luke took a deep breath and let it out.

“Okay, let me just lay it out,” he said. “We’re doing the best we can with what we have. You don’t have to get involved with this. We appreciate your help, but what would help us even more is if you stay out of it, alright?”

Yeah, okay. Sure. Peter could respect that.

“Amazing. And don’t tell other people.”

Understood.

“Unless they’re Force-sensitive,” Obi-Wan said. “In which case, ask them how they feel about rocks.”

Luke just stared at him coldly this time.

“You didn’t used to be like this,” he said dangerously.

“No, I used to be stressed,” Obi-Wan told him. “But you and Ani are doing that for me, so I have resolved to be a free spirit. Nice to meet all of you. Have more coffee. I don’t like this one; I will have it out of the house by sundown.”

He left, and possibly for good this time. No one knew what to say in his absence.

“So,” Peter tried, desperate for something to break up the tension. “You said a few days ago that you were looking for someone?”

Luke finally stopped making growling faces towards the sliding door. He lit up like a bulb.

“I am, actually,” he said.

 --

 Luke was looking for a very particular person named ‘Din.’ He described him as ‘six feet tall and covered in armor.’ He asked if they knew of such a person.

Peter had to shove a hand against his mouth in case he made an unwanted connection between this description and Obi-Wan behavior.

“Haven’t,” MJ said. “Who is he?”

“My husband,” Luke said.

Ned choked.

Peter choked.

MJ tilted her head.

“You have a husband?” she asked. “I would have remembered a husband in that series.”

Luke leaned his chin on his palm and gazed sideways over the city. He seemed to sigh.

“I don’t know why he isn’t connected to me in the media created here,” he said. “It’s probably because he’s always been very shy.”

Oh, aw. Peter loved that. The contrast between them was heart-warming.

“We had a son together,” Luke said. “His child. He brought him to me. One of my students, at first.”

Hang on a minute here.

Peter exchanged a glance with Ned. Ned tried very hard to pick a way to approach this sensitively. He landed on asking, “What was his name again?”

“Din,” Luke said. “Din Djarin.”

Ned cringed.

“He was a Mandalorian,” Luke explained. “Very, very, very shy. Like, he would rather chew off his own leg than make small talk with a stranger. I think, before I knew all this, I was still subconsciously looking for him. All my exes are the same type.”

That—

Okay, so like.

Did these people own a TV?

“Do we look like we own a TV?” Luke deadpanned. “No. If Ben senses anything bigger than a datapad happening in this place, he’s driven to madness and breaks it.”

UH?

“He doesn’t actually break it,” Luke sighed. “He just finds a way to make it unusable—putting clothes on it, disconnecting the monitor, that kind of thing. He thinks they waste electricity.”

What a guy. Peter wanted to put him and May in a room and see what conspiracies they could spin together.

“Why do you ask?” Luke asked.

Ned cleared his throat.

“Do you have a, uh, datapad, then?” he asked.

 --

 “DIN. That’s DIN. He’s got his own show. Oh my god, that’s—stay right there. Don’t move.”

Bless this man. Peter wanted to hug him so bad. They’d lost him to the staircase leading up from the second floor to the attic. Peter wondered who he was showing the tablet to.

Maybe Obi-Wan?

“I told you this already,” a voice up there said.

“LOOK AT HIM.”

“You’re killin’ me, smalls. We had this exact conversation last week. Did you forget?”

“You knew where he was.”

“Alright, alright. Downward march.”

Anakin fucking Skywalker came down the stairs with a handful of Luke’s shirt in one hand and the tablet shoved under his other arm. He paused and frowned at the three of them in the kitchen frozen in shock, and then apparently decided that that didn’t matter. He carried on dragging Luke with him towards the kitchen counter. He dropped the tablet onto it and Peter realized that the lower half of his sleeve on that side was empty.

He watched as the guy let go of Luke and chased the not-angry cat off the counter, cursing.

“Alright, this?” he said, tapping on the tablet. “Is the link I put here.” He rapped the same finger on what Peter now saw was a whiteboard covered in rows upon rows of symbols that he’d never seen before.

“Din here? Din here. You see?” Vader told Luke with untold patience.

“I can’t read that,” Luke moaned. “You lied to me.”

“It’s up in the kitchen, Luke.”

“You’re a liar and a cad. Do it in Basic.”

“This is Basic.”

Oh, dear. All that fanfic about Luke meeting Darth Vader and having a breakdown was looking real embarrassed now, wasn’t it?

“If it’s Basic, why can’t I read it?” Luke demanded.

“Because, like I told you last night, the night before, and the night before that,” Vader said painstakingly, “It doesn’t all come back at once. It’s going to take time.”

“We don’t have time,” Luke snapped.

Vader leaned his head back with half-lidded eyes. Luke didn’t look even remotely like his kid, even with him looking all pre-quels-like now.

“We talked about this, too, remember?” Vader asked.

Obviously not. Luke was distressed. He had eyes only for the tablet now.

“No, of course not, silly me,” Vader said. “Why are humans here?”

“Ahsoka went home,” Luke said.

“Thank you, that was not my question.”

“What was your question?”

“Why are non-order humans here?”

“I told you, Ahsoka went—”

“Son, I will kill you if you continue to act like Obi-Wan,” Vader said without missing a beat.

“You can try,” Luke said offhandedly. “But only one of us has two handed grip.”

There was a long stare.

“It’s Obi-Wan,” Vader told him. “Why do we have living guests?”

He gestured back to Peter, Ned, and MJ like they were flies on a set of blinds.

“Oh, because that’s Spiderman and he stole your kyber crystals,” Luke said.

Vader rounded on Peter, and Peter actually felt fear.

Vader blinked once.

“This may as well happen,” he decided somehow placidly. “I’m going back upstairs. Where did your grand-master go?”

“Into the mist,” Luke said. “Can you feel Din?”

“Negative, ghostrider.”

“When the Force chooses you first out of favoritism, can you feel for Din?”

“Ah yes, can I feel for your Force-repellant life partner with all of the Force energy that I do not have? Yes, I sure can.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Anytime, primary monstrosity of my loins.”

UM?

This felt a little hostile for Peter’s tastes. Not that it wasn’t earned. Clearly it was earned. It was just horrifying.

“Guests, you are dismissed,” Vader said in their direction. “Unless you’re drawn to the rock outside, in which case, you may stay. Otherwise, do not darken this doorstep again, or else we will leave you with the other dead in the morgue.”

“Thanks for bringing the crystals,” Luke said from behind him. “And for talking. I do feel better, actually.”

 --

 They left the funeral home. Obi-Wan was outside by the mailbox as though waiting for them. Peter wasn’t sure he had any emotional energy left to approach him with.

“Thank you for speaking to Luke,” he said as the three of them attempted to pass unnoticed. “It’s good for him to talk to others his own age.”

Uh-huh. Good night, sir?

“Good night, Peter, Ned, and Michelle.”

They hadn’t given their names.

They definitely hadn’t given their names.

 --

 Ned wasn’t sleeping for two years. He made this clear with a lot of clapping gestures and then rolled around on the floor, talking about all kinds of shit that Peter couldn’t decipher. MJ watched him and flicked her eyes up to Peter with concern on her forehead.

“That family is cinematically dysfunctional,” she said.

Correct.

“They’re barely their own characters.”

Correct.

“What now?”

Peter wasn’t sure. The best he could think of was to just keep an eye on the situation. Maybe check in every couple of weeks?

“If you say so,” MJ said. “I think you made Ned’s life, by the way. Good job.”

 --

 Peter tried checking in every two weeks. It started because he happened to hear of a tunnel collapsing in Queens nearby the funeral home. He texted Luke to ask if he needed a save and all he got back was a ‘well, not anymore.’

After that, Peter kept a close eye on happenstances occurring around the city. There were more than he bargained for. And when he glanced at Luke’s Instagram after the first week after the tunnel collapse, he noted that two of the nails on the hand Luke held his coffee to the camera with had gone completely black.

That was worrying.

Peter was used to be the danger-prone asshole in his friendgroup. He did not like this role-reversal. MJ asked him sarcastically what the problem was.

He texted Luke again.

 PP: how many nails do you have left bro?

LS: we put a hole in one to release the pressure

PP: that don’t sound great bro.

LS: it’s fine. Oh, but good news

PP: oh?

LS: the most predictable thing ever has happened. The Vader has regained force power

PP: that’s worrying

LS: ? why?

PP: won’t he go dark?

LS: ah, no. He fucked up and raised me and Leia with Ben this time after our mom died. He had his chance to go dark and traded it for 8 consecutive hours of sleep instead.

PP: I truly don’t know what to say

LS: It’s fine we did 12 years of family therapy after the accident so we are no longer on the DSS watchlist

PP: I know less what to say

LS: he won’t find din :/

PP: is that your priority right now?

LS: aren’t you supposed to be spiderman or something? Don’t you have chaotic things to say?

PP: you know normally I do, this is literally out of character for me. but I think you also might be absorbing my chaos.

LS: that’s fair. I have that effect on people. Hey, is your buddy Ned available to chat? He knows more than I can remember about my old life. Can I borrow him?

 That sounded like a horrendous decision.

 PP: yeah let me get you his number.

LS: thanksssss

  --

Ned reported a few days later that his services were needed at the funeral home. He was leaving them all now to befriend Luke Skywalker as was his true destiny.

He came back a few hours later and reported that his services had been helpful and he was pleased to say that Darth Vader was now the official herder of ‘wans’ in the house. This included all Obi-Wans and padawans.

He seemed to be the only guy there who could like, retain information given to him for some reason. He accepted this as his lot in life and went around repeating the same things to the others ad nauseum until they finally stuck for them.

Peter wondered if that was his personal hell.

Ned didn’t think so. He thought the guy was pretty chill about it and had probably been doing it for a while now. He did it more for Ahsoka Tano and Luke than he did for Obi-Wan. Although that was probably because Obi-Wan appeared to be on a hunt that made all non-relevant information given to him slip off his back like water.

 --

 Another two weeks. Another text.

 PP: hey luke, I saw you drowning on the news. You okay?

LS: GOD my ex-workplace keeps calling welfare checks on our house. We’ve had more cops here then flies these last few days.

PP: ex-workplace is one way to refer to your old job. Sounds like they cared about you. What did you do?

LS: preschool teacher.

 Peter was going to lose his shit right here on this bed.

 PP: was that your calling?

LS: that was Luke Naberry’s calling. Luke Skywalker’s calling is to make the lightsaber go vrrrrrrm

PP: you honestly terrify me

LS: thanks han says the same thing. OH. HE FOUND CHEWIE.

PP: no shit??

LS: yeah I told Ned, not you. But yeah. He found him lugging boxes for a bodega. And now they both work at the same bodega. Which like, objectively, is a bad thing because Han was a UN translator.

PP: I’m

PP: sorry

PP: what?

LS: I know he was all respectable and shit. It was awful. I can look at him again without feeling like I’ve failed in every part of my life.

PP: dare I ask what your sister does?

LS: lawyer

PP: not senator?

LS: we’re not old enough to be senators.

PP: every moment becomes more concerning than the next. You fascinate me. This is why they put you in like, all the films.

LS: because I’m sexy yeah

PP: that too

LS: not to you. I’m off-limits bub. I’m married.

PP: how’s that going for you?

LS: Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

PP: I see. So no Din yet?

LS: I will find him if it kills me

PP: that’s so romantic. Hey you should watch that series. They gave him a little green yoda in it. Really cute.

LS: that’s my son you piece of shit

 There was no winning here.

 --

 MJ asked him a few weeks later if he was still keeping up with the Jedi drama since the whole city had recently decided that Peter was a snack.

Obviously he hadn’t.

She told him not to worry, Ned had. She told him to talk to Ned, so he went and talked to Ned with a heatpad in one hand and a coldpack in the other.

Ned patted at him sympathetically and informed him that Luke had reunited with the Force. It was going poorly for him, mostly because the Force wasn’t used to people being in touch with it in these parts of the universe. It kept telling each of the jedi that there was a disturbance and then luring them to each other to fight to the death.

Luke described it as the Force-equivalent of an auto-immune disease.  

They’d taken to gathering in the living room of the funeral home to meditate in a circle, as though to calm the Force’s anxiety while scenting each other for protection.

It had a 40% success rate. Everyone was sleeping in locked rooms for the time being, just in case someone got compelled to do something rash.

Peter asked Ned if he’d finally lost his crown as King Chaos of NYC.

Ned patted him on the knee more firmly than before and said that he could regain his crown by introducing a calming element into the jedi household.

Peter had his pride to defend, so he asked what that element ought to be.

  --

Din Djarin, the Mandalorian, the leader of all Mandalorians, was bound to have a name that looked nothing like the one they had for him. Luke nearly exploded when Peter approached him to asked him (and his taped fingers) more about who Din Djarin was outside the name.

They proceeded with caution, however. So far, Peter and Ned had discovered only dissonance between Luke’s account of his life partner (his ‘heart, stars, sun, and sand’) and the guy on the screen for the tv show. That was to be expected, given that they had met Luke now and learned of his somewhat explosive personality.

But even still, Luke’s description of Din Djarin as ‘kind, compassionate, tender, shy, emotionally stable, dependable, sweet, caring, and hunky’ seemed slightly biased.

Peter just wanted to know how tall this guy was. Hair color. Eye color. Skin color. Blood type. That kind of shit.

Luke said that Din had brown hair, brown eyes, Type Who Knows What blood, and was about six feet tall. He had no idea how much he weighed. He’d never had need for that information. He knew that Din was human, which was probably helpful in a galaxy far, far away. He knew that he spoke Mando’a as his first language, then Basic, then a whopping fifteen others. And he knew that Din was probably looking after their son.

Vader asked Peter over a mug of coffee (also labeled in the funeral home’s cabinet as ‘not spice.’) if Spidersenses could overcome a dearth of information. It took Peter a few moments to realize that he was sympathizing with him.

“You’re not going to find Din,” Vader told Luke. “You need to look for the kid. You’ll find the kid first, you always have.”

Luke took his coffee and poured it down the drain.

Peter decided that he didn’t want to get in between that burgeoning battle. He told Luke to text him if he remembered anything else.

  --

Wade was pissed that Peter had been meeting and ‘cavorting’ with Luke Skywalker without him. He claimed ownership of the Din Djarin mystery in order to cram himself into Luke’s good graces. But quickly, he ran into the same stumbling blocks as Peter.

Din Djarin was six feet tall with brown eyes and brown hair.

That was what they currently had to go on.

Wade would have torn out his hair if he had any, but he stopped himself and accepted the challenge. Peter watched over his shoulder as he chicken-pecked his way into a list of social security numbers held by the NYC State ID issuing department and started methodically filtering names that did not sound like ‘Din.’

He started broad with all ‘D’s and then narrowed it down further and further and further until he was left with a shitload of Daniels.

He stared at the screen before him and vibrated.

Peter massaged his shoulders before he cracked.

It helped. Wade started filtering by height, then by eye color. Then by hair, and only ended up with several hundred people.

He vibrated again, but this time, Peter couldn’t help him.

He sighed. Wade said that there had to be a better way to do this. He got up.

  --

Wade made about four thousand missing posters with the name Din Djarin on them which he recruited the whole team to plaster up around NYC. This was not a request.

Miles asked him why they were doing this for a tv character and had to be let in on the gig.

He lost his shit.

Louis tried to retain his shit.

Angel still didn’t know how the whole jedi thing worked.

Dave hummed and haw’ed and took his time in calling bullshit. Wade asked him to look deep into his eyes and ask if he was entertaining bullshit that fine evening.

Dave changed his opinion and took a stack.

  --

There was no way that shit was supposed to work. There was just no way. A) because Wade had the worst ideas of all mankind and B) because Peter had the worst luck of all mankind. So the two of them together should have destroyed all the prospects of success for that job.

But instead, while they were hatching a new plot involving setting up a sham sociological study for people who responded to Star Wars names, Wade’s phone went off.

He grabbed it and opened the message and lo and behold right there was a note that read,

“I hope you are not a reporting body because this is going to sound certifiably insane, but I think I might be the guy you’re looking for?”

Wade screamed.

Peter scolded him not to get too excited too soon. They had to see the man first.

Wade texted furiously, asking for a picture and got a message back that said, “please do not dox me.”

They got no answer until Wade promised not to dox the guy.

And then they got an image of a man with brown hair and brown eyes with olive skin. His face was remarkably square. The picture wasn’t just him, though, he had in his arms a little boy with a head covered in tight ringlets. His eyes were so dark they were nearly black and he was maybe two years old.

The caption said, “apologies, my son needed to be in the picture.”

Wade cooed and entered Dad Mode to ask how old the baby was and what he liked to do and Peter lost the fathers to that small talk for a while before Wade oh-so-casually asked, “So you feel like you’re from outer space?”

“It sounds strange,” the guy on the other said wrote back, “But I do. Like every day I wake up and look in the mirror and something is wrong. I feel like I’m always forgetting something when I leave the house. I watched the tv show of the guy who’s name was on your fliers and the kid in it reminds me so much of my son. It’s eerie. They make the same sounds. He made the same sounds before we even watched that show.”

Wade whistled.

“I think this is him, Pete,” he said. “He called Baby Yoda a ‘kid’ not a yoda.”

Peter stared. He hadn’t even caught that. That was smart as hell.

“So what now?” he asked.

Wade sniffed.

“Get Skywalker to send you a selfie,” he said.

  --

PP: Luke are you pretty right now?

LS: My face is intact

PP: take a selfie and send it to me

LS: cannot do that. Face is intact is a baseline situation. Let me find an old one. Oh, they all have my ex in them. This is awkward.

PP: it doesn’t matter I can crop it.

LS: no I have to be cute or I’ll perish hold on

PP: are you sure you’re not Johnny Storm?

LS: yes, he’s got loads of muscles. Sent.

 Selfie acquired.

Luke looked very smiley in it. His eyes were blown out from the lighting, but it showed his sloping smile and his low, back-set dimples. Peter sent it to Wade. Wade sent it to his new friend.

They waited.

They waited five minutes.

Then ten.

Then half an hour.

Then nearly two.

And finally, Wade’s phone rang. He picked it up and set it on speaker so that Peter could hear.

“Hello?” Wade said.

There was a long pause.

“Where did you get that picture?” a low, almost smoky voice demanded on the other side.

“A friend,” Wade said sleazily. “You know him? He’s a cute little thing, ain’t he?”

It took the dude on the other side of the line worryingly long to respond.

“What do you want?” he finally asked.

Wade brought his head down in interest.

“What’re you willing do to?” he asked.

They waited. Peter didn’t know what was taking this guy so long to—

“Anything.”

Ah.

Okay. That.

That sounded about right.

Wade cackled.

“You know his name?” he asked.

“I do,” the man said.

“What’s his name then, pal?” Wade asked.

“It’s none of your fucking business.”

Holy shit. Holy shit. Peter clutched the back of the couch. Wade was grinning so hard, Peter could see it through his mask.

“You want him, you need to show me that you know who he is,” Wade said. “I ain’t got ‘im here, but I know where he is. Come on, big boy. Who is he?”

Peter could hear the man take in a deep, shaky breath.

“His name is Luke,” Din fucking Djarin, the Mandalorian himself, said.

  --

Din fucking Djarin’s name at the moment was Danny Jabaran. He stood six feet tall with a medium build and that baby of his in his arms.

He was not afraid of Wade.

He was not afraid of Peter.

The suits didn’t scare him; this man was a space warrior. The leader of the space warriors. Peter was humbled to stand in his presence, old jeans and tattoos and all.

“Vigilantes,” he acknowledged.

“Deadpool,” Wade said, offering a hand. “And this is?”

“Grogu,” Djarin said.

Baby Yoda lifted his big liquid eyes up to Wade and blinked twice. Then he wriggled around and hid in Djarin’s neck. Djarin put a hand on his back and didn’t drop eye contact.

“Tell me everything,” Djarin said.

  --

Ned screamed. Michelle screamed. Peter reminded them that he had neighbors and invited Mr. Mand’alor to sit on the couch for a bit while he called Luke.

Michelle claimed the spot next to Djarin and asked Baby Yoda Grogu for his little hand. He studied her and hid again, making a prolonged sound of distress that Djarin cut off by saying, “Hey. Manners.”

This somehow made baby Grogu turn back to Michelle to stare at her offered hand.

He took it. She shook with him and then took hers away.

Grogu perked up and reached for it again.

“You’re the Mandalorian,” Ned said.  

Djarin looked right at him.

“A Mandalorian,” he corrected.

Ned blinked back tears.

“You’re so cool,” he creaked.

Djarin frowned.

“You...are too?” he tried.

Ned wept into a fist.

Peter left them to call Luke in his bedroom. Luke picked up on the third ring with the start of an ingrained greeting that sounded a whole lot like a customer service recording. He caught himself, though.

“I have someone I’d like you to talk to,” Peter said. “I think you might want to sit down.”

Luke’s unusual quiet on the other side made Peter grin.

“Are you sitting?” he asked.

“I’m sitting.”

“Alright, one moment,” Peter said, walking out into the living room. Djarin had edged far, far away from Ned, as far as he possibly could without being rude. He looked up when Peter came over and sat down on the arm next to him.

“Say hi,” Peter said.

Djarin frowned at him and then the phone.

“Who’s that?” he asked.

Peter waited. Djarin lifted his head over to see the phone’s screen.

“Hello?” he tried.

“Din?”

The Spidey Sense crashed through Peter like a tidal wave.

Djarin had gone completely still.

“Din? Is that you? Can you hear me?”

“Shit,” Djarin said, lifting a hand to cover his eyes. “Goddamnit. Jesus.”

“DIN.”

“Dank Fucking Farrik.”

“Oh my god.”  

Baby Grogu’s face snapped toward the phone with huge eyes. He grabbed at Djarin’s collar, then his jaw and started bouncing a little in his arms.

“Bu?” he asked.

Djarin couldn’t make himself move.

“Grogu?” Luke asked. “Hey, baby, is that you, bubba?”

Grogu grabbed Djarin’s face urgently, so that he couldn’t hide his raw eyes anymore.

He pointed at the phone.

“Yeah, I hear ‘im, kid,” Djarin said.

“MMMMM. Gib.”

“Ah. That’s not ours. We don’t grab. We ask,” Djarin reminded as Grogu pleaded for the phone. Peter snickered and gave it to him. He just held it, staring.

“Do you wanna see him?” Peter asked. “Luke, can we maybe video chat?”

“Y-yeah,” Luke said. “Hold on. Oh god, my face. Uh, hey Din are you still near-sighted, hon?”

Djarin huffed a laugh that turned into a whole-body tremor.

“I got contacts,” he said a little hysterically.

“You got WHAT?” Luke yipped, “Okay, no. No, I gotta. Be still, this heart. Okay let me just take off the butterflies. On moment, Grogu, Daddy’s just gotta dunk his face in the damn sink.”

MJ bounced her eyebrows at Peter as he gently took the phone back from Grogu and tapped on the camera. He offered it back the kid and received a deep gaze of wonder in return. Djarin turned the screen right-side up in his hands.

Luke finally turned his camera on and revealed himself to be very swollen in the jaw with damp hair and a cut very close to the rim of his left eye.

Grogu screeched.

Luke laughed.

“Look at you,” he said, “I’m gonna cry. Oh my god. Where’re your ears, pal?”

Grogu analyzed this reaction for 2 full seconds and then shoved the camera right into his dad’s forehead. Djarin took it from him and liberated himself so that he could see Luke who was clutching at his face, absolutely already sobbing, bless him.

He looked up to see Grogu and instead got Djarin and finally just broke right in half.

Peter swallowed back the growing lump in his throat. His eyes were starting to warm a little.

Djarin found a watery smile in himself.

“I know you’re not cryin’ because of me,” he said gently.

“Where’s your helmet?” Luke sobbed, wiping viciously at his eyes. “People are watching, you harlot.”

“I know,” Djarin said. “I lost it.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Luke.”

“This is all my fault. I should’ve—I should’ve—”

“Luke,” Djarin said again, full of warmth, “You died for us.”

Luke shook harder than ever.

“There is no greater sacrifice a warrior can make,” Djarin told him. “I was honored for you to have made it for me and our son. This has always been the Way.”

“This is the Way,” Luke stammered.

“I missed you,” Djarin said. “Where in God’s name have you been?”

“I was a preschool teacher in the Bronx, man, I dunno what happened,” Luke said tipping his face up to force the tears back in.

“In the Bronx? Where?”

“Uh, off Allerton and Lurting?”

Djarin started shaking with laugher.

“I work off Laconia and Mace,” he said.

“You what?”

“We’ve been blocks apart this whole time.”

Awwwwww.

“I’m going to stab myself,” Luke moaned. “I’m going to stab myself in the arm. I was right there and I sold out for my part-time gig barely weeks ago. Oh my god. I’m going to—move, old man, I’m suffering—Wait. Din, did you find your parents?”

Djarin stood up and held the phone out straight.

“Where are you right now?” he asked.

  --

Look at all these people hugging each other.

Look at them crying all over. There was a baby in there, wailing because he was so happy to be back in the arms of his other dad.

Aww. AWWWW. Peter was getting emotional again, he was going to see himself out.

“Wait. Peter.”

He looked up to find Luke holding a hand to him.

“Thank you,” he said. “You really are a superhero, you know that?”

Yeah.

Sometimes, he did.

 --

 The city had plenty of problems as it was, yeah, more now with a bunch of jedi running around, linking up with each other and spreading memory like mushroom spores. But it didn’t feel that much different.

What it felt like now was Ned showing Grogu how to hold his hand at the seeing stone in the funeral home’s back yard to make the Force happen while Obi-Wan reported cheerfully that the cat perched on it was still not levitating.

It also felt like watching Luke freak out over text to Ned and Michelle about his ex losing their mind at him dumping them after two years to marry this random mechanic within a week of getting together.

Peter got to see this from new angles, too, one of which was the bottom of the funeral home’s attic stairs, which Anakin Skywalker liked to sit on while his grandkids—both Grogu and Han Solo and Leia Organa (pardon, Leia Naberry)’s son—came over to show him things that he was very well aware of. These were stolen from him by Auntie Ahsoka and her friends who Ned knew and Peter did not.

And there was something warming about how even these folks—people from a galaxy far, far away, occasionally needed a Spiderman.

   --

[jaydonsjam]

Werewolf By Night VIII

Werewolf By Night #16

Writer: Mike Friedrich | penciler: Mike Ploog | inker: Frank Monte

Hunchback of Notre Dame fought the Werewolf! This felt like a Universal monsters crossover movie. I like the origin of Hunchback being a mutant who was bullied and abused his whole life. It explained his hatred and rage towards humans. He was a tragic character and I really liked that choice here. A little on the nose that they fought in a bell tower but I did like the fight itself. The fact that Jack failed to save him after throwing him off the tower in his rage. A very tragic end for a tragic character. I really liked this issue. Mike Ploog’s art was great and I was honestly sad to see that Marv Wolfman didn’t write this issue but I liked Mike Friedrich’s writing here. I loved the choice to not translate a lot of the French. It added to the confusion and miscommunication factor. The one issue I had was Topaz becoming a damsel in distress and I really hope this doesn’t continue. Besides that this was a good comic.

Werewolf By Night #17

Writer: Mike Friedrich | penciler and inker: Don Perlin

Werewolf fights The Behemoth! Topaz is leaving Jack to go back to India cause she can’t control him anymore. Also the French police are dumb cause how did they not know that blonde-haired boy wasn’t the Werewolf when he’s wearing the exact same jeans and no shirt. Also what is Jack’s neighbor Coker up to? Lissa might become a werewolf soon because she’s about to turn eighteen! There’s a lot of developments going on in this issue including Baron Thunder being the leader of The Committee! So what is the leadership structure of this company cause I thought Taboo was the leader? I’m so confused about how The Committee works. At least they pointed out the dumb economics thing from before. The fight with The Behemoth was lame. I liked some of the developments going on here but this whole villain thing with The Committee just feels too convoluted and I’d like this storyline to be done with.

Werewolf By Night #18

Writer: Mike Friedrich | penciler: Don Perlin | inker: Mike Royer

Jack fights his neighbor, Raymond Coker in a werewolf vs werewolf fight! I gotta say I loved Ma Mayhem so much. The idea that she’s an old lady but has all the tools a hunter needs to fight monsters is really cool. I love the reveal of her being the hunter when she takes a swing at the cop with her axe. It makes sense why she wasn’t upset at the messy room. Loved how she had so many gadgets like a silver laced gas, silver whips etc. Although I gotta say Lissa getting kidnapped at the end of the issue made me roll my eyes. Baron Thunder had powers! Or at least he has super strength. We don’t know why he’s training to fight Jack but I guess we’ll get an answer eventually. The fight between the two werewolves has to rank among the best in this book so far. It’s cool seeing Raymond be able to speak in werewolf form which makes me wonder when or if Jack will be able to do the same. The opening seeing Jack’s ancestor hunt as a werewolf was a cool flashback that I really enjoyed! Loved this issue overall. Can’t wait to see what comes next!

Werewolf By Night #19

Writer: Mike Friedrich | penciler: Don Perlin | inker: Vince Colletta

It’s a duo of werewolves fighting another duo of vampires in Hollywood! I liked seeing Jack and Raymond work together to kill the two vampires (turned by Dracula). They find a book at the end that reveals that in order to get rid of your curse, you have to kill another werewolf in a full moon. It’s too bad cause I was actually excited to see them working together and Jack even refers to Raymond as a part of his pack which made me smile. This was an action-packed issue that I enjoyed but the ending was worth it.

[voidsentprinces]

How to currently SMN:

As SMN you have your Carbuncle whose only job is to either give you a shield or later do a party wide buff. Every time you die you gotta resummon Carbuncle. It doesn’t fight for you anymore. It stands there, looks pretty, and is probably scrolling on instagram while you’re being swarmed by opo-opos.

Step 1. Use Aethercharge which will become Dreadwyrm Trance later on. Then either Ruin/Outburst until its done. Step 1a. When its Dreadwyrm Trance use Astral Impulse/Flare to your hearts content until it runs out. Also with Bahamut on the field, Deathflare and Akh Morn can be weaved into the attacks during the Trance’s duration. But they both have such long Cool Downs they might as well each be one use per trance.

Step 2. Your Charge/Trance is done. Despite what they said during the Letter to the Producer. You can actually use the Ruby, Topez, or Emerald Jewel in whatever order. You use this by summoning your Ruby/Topez/Emeral Carbuncle later your Ifrit/Titan/Garuda-Egi and then at level 90, the actual damn thing.

Step 2a. Using Ruby grants you two “long” cast time spells in place of Gemshine and Precious Brilliance. Topez grants you 4 instant spell casts with a short CD and Emerald grants you 4 instant spell cast and near instant CD. Initially all these spells seem to be single target save for Emerald’s phase. At which point its aoe. But eventually, it all becomes the same AoE spell and from what I can tell, it all collectively does the same damage over the same amount of time. You can start with Ruby for any calm phases, use Topez if you need to keep up keep while minimally moving, or weave Emerald if you need to move around a lot.

Step 2b. You will, however, have to use all these up. Because waiting for Aethercharge or Trance to CD while you need Emerald or Topez at the time is just not good upkeep.

Additionally around level 86 your Enkindle will become spells for each phase instead of just being grayed out until you summon Bahamut.

For Ruby: Enkindle grants you a charge attack which does AoE Damage and an extra attack that lets you just melee aoe again. Which like Topez’s attacks use an instant cast and a short CD.

For Topez: Enkindle grants your Topaz Catastrophe a combo aoe move Mountain Buster. Which is instant cast and instant use and will only change once you’ve cast Topaz Catastrophe. So its kind of just Topaz Cat. > Mountain Buster, four times.

For Emerald: Your Enkindle becomes the staple of old Garuda-Egi for a long cast time you can summon a patch of AoE damage that also acts as a DoT if the enemies remain in your area.

Step 2c.: At 90 when you’re able to summon Ifrit, Titan and Garuda they’ll do an AoE attack before fucking off at your general target location. That’s it.

Step 3. At level 80, after your trance has finished and after a long cool down. It’ll become Summon Phoenix. Doing so will grant a party wide, decent length, Heal over Time to all allies within a certain range. You’ll also gain Rekindle which will grant you a decent heal for yourself or one of your party members but can only be used for the duration of Phoenix’s remaining. Naturally your Gem Shine and Precious Brilliance will turn into the Single Target Fountain of Fire and the AoE Brand of Purgatory. Brand no longer combos with Fountain. Naturally like Bahamut you also get Phoenix’s one use Doom Orbital Strike AoE, Revelation.

Naturally, much like Trance, after its done and while you’re waiting for Trance to come off CD, another round of Jewels will be available for you to follow through with.

Step 4. Energy Drain/Energy Siphon still lets you use the Single Target “Fester” and the AoE Painflare. Painflare no longer has any weird aoe effect, it just hits everything around it.

Step 5. I couldn’t exactly pin down if it was because I used a gem or because the gem got done expiring but at random intervals Ruin IV will just become available to use once a certain amount of time.

Step 6. Physick is still kind of shit at higher levels don’t bother, let the Healers do their work. Put swift cast next to Rez cause the trials are unforgiving.

Step 7. When Trance/Charge/Phoenix is on CD and you got no gems use Ruin and Outburst.

Thats it...that’s Summoner.

[poge-life]

UnderBelly{ Sweet Pea: Chapter One

Stephanie "Stevie" Jones was standing at her so called "locker" when her pinked best friend joined her, "Yes, Toni?" Stevie turned her attention to look at her, who just sent her a smile.

"Your brother is coming today so I can show him around. How ya feeling?" Toni asked, as Stevie turned back to her locker, grabbing her jacket before shutting it and turning back to Toni

"Fine. I see him all the time at home now. Not really different. Except for the fact that now we'll literally be spending every second together. But, now you guys get to deal with another hot head." Stevie explained, linking her arm with Toni

"Wanna come with? I'm sure he'd feel better with a familiar face to help show him around." Toni asked, looking over at the brunette. Stevie shook her head in response, "Can't. I'm supposed to meet Sweet Pea at lunch."

Toni smirked at the mention of their tall friend and Stevie nudged her before turning to walk to the stairs that led to the cafeteria, "Wipe the smirk off your face Topaz. He's just a friend."

"I'm just saying. You two have been hanging out a lot more recently. Before, you two couldn't even be in the same room together without me and Fangs having to hold you guys from beating each other." Toni laughed, causing Stevie to glare at her.

They both turned to walk into the Cafeteria before Stevie stopped at the doorway. She felt a smile make its way across her face at the sight in front of her. Sitting on top of a table where other serpents sat, was Sweet Pea; laughing at whatever was said.

Toni couldn't help but smile at Stevie, knowing how happy she was when she was around Sweet Pea.

"I gotta go grab your brother. Save me a seat?" Toni saluted and turned to walk back up the stairs they just came down from. Stevie shook her head at her pink haired friend and turned to put on her jacket.

At southside high, if you weren't wearing a serpent or ghoulie jacket, you were up for grabs by the ghoulies. But with Stevie being the daughter of Fp Jones, meant that no one even dared to try anything with her.

Stevie made her way to where the Serpents were sitting, causing Sweet Pea to hop off the table and smile at her, "Hey there, princess."

Stevie groaned at the nickname and shoved past her tall friend, "We've talked about this. I hate that nickname." She plopped down on the bench next to Fangs, who sent her a smile and she winked at him in return.

Fangs Fogarty was the newest addition to the Serpents. Having joined at the start of the school year and Stevie thought he was absolutely adorable. He was attractive, she would give him that. Despite having just joined the serpents, him, Stevie, Toni, and Sweet Pea were basically the four musketeers.

Sweet Pea sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side, "Actually. You talked and I listened. And I decided that I'm gonna keep calling you that until I come up with something better."

Fangs had sent both of his friends a look at the sight of them being all lovey dovey at the lunch table. Sweet Pea and Stevie both threw up the middle finger and turned their attention to the conversation that took place before Stevie sat down.

While Stevie was distracted, she didn't see her brother or her best friend walk into the cafeteria but Jughead did notice his sister. Or rather who his sister was with.

"Who's that with my sister?" Jughead asked, pointing to said girl. Toni turned her head to see who he was pointing at and let a smile make its way across her face. Stevie was laughing at whatever Fangs had said while Sweet Pea groaned, flipping him off

"Sweet Pea. He's helped her with everything going on with your dad. He's a good guy. He has a temper. But he's okay." Toni explained

"She sits with you guys?" Jughead asked in confusion and Toni sent him a look of confusion

"She's a serpent. Why wouldn't she be?"

"Stevie? She's not a serpent."

Toni rolled her eyes at the beanie wearing boy and crossed her arms over her chest, "She's been one for while now. Right after your mom left. Probably around the time you left."

"Why didn't she tell me?" He mumbled and turned to walk away. Toni shook her head and made her way over to her friends, "Why didn't you tell your brother you were a serpent?"

Stevie sat up straight and turned to look over at Toni who raised her eyebrows at the girl. Stevie sighed and ran her hands thru her hair. "He gets enough shit about our dad being a serpent and being from the southside. I didn't wanna add fuel to the fire for Alice Cooper to take a dig at me too. I mean, I'm surprised she doesn't know and hasn't outed me to all of Riverdale."

"You guys live with each other. How'd he never notice?" Fangs asked, furrowing his eyebrows

"Jug left after our dad went off the wagon when our mom left. He just now moved back in when dad turned himself around. Besides, I'm always with you guys or at the wyrm so he never got a chance to figure it out." She shrugged, leaning back into Sweet Pea's side.

Toni and Fangs shared a look before turning to face their two friends who glared at them.

"Anyways, we all have a bio project due and her and I are going to the library while you two figure how you're gonna help." Toni spoke, grabbing her bag as Stevie did the same and stood up

"Wait, we have a library?"

------------------

"You didn't tell me you were a serpent." Jughead spoke as Stevie walked into the kitchen of their trailer. She sighed and set her bag and jacket on the table

"You weren't around after Dad fell off the wagon. Even though he was here, he wasn't really here. He was either drunk or passed out on the couch. They've been a family to me over the last few years." She explained, looking over at her brother who just nodded

"Why didn't you tell me? I'm your brother? Do mom and dad know?"

"Because you've already been through so much! You were crushed when mom and JB left. And you left as soon as stuff with Dad got bad. I became one after you stopped living here. Dad was barely there and I needed protection. What better way to get that then joining the serpents. They've been here through everything. When the sheriff department came in here and trashed the place, they were there. When dad got arrested, they were there while you were off living in the Northside!" Stevie exclaimed, standing up to walk to the sink, her back to her brother.

She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, tears threatening to fall, "You've always been so judgemental about the serpents. I couldn't have you judge me too." Stevie spoke in a quiet voice

"I'm not judgemental about the serpents." Jughead started before Stevie cut him off

"You won't even sit with us at lunch!" She exclaimed, turning to look at him

A knock at the door prevented them from arguing anything further. Stevie sighed and walked over to the door, opening it to reveal Sweet Pea with Toni and Fangs on their bikes behind him. He raised his eyebrow at the sight of her bloodshot eyes, "you okay princess?"

Stevie cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"If you say so. You ready?" He asked, crossing his arms and she nodded

"Just gotta grab my stuff." She turned to the kitchen and grabbed her backpack and jacket, " I'll see you at school, Juggie."

Stevie shrugged her jacket on and placed her backpack on her back, shutting the door behind her as Sweet Pea wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "You sure you're okay?"

"I'll tell you later, promise. Anyways, did you use the notes I gave you for your bio test?" Stevie asked, looking up at the tall serpent. She took note of his appearance. He had a green t-shirt on with his denim/flannel serpent jacket on. His hair, which was usually gelled off to the side, was kind of messy today. Not that she minded.

"For like all of 10 minutes. I don't need to study. Collins is an idiot. He'll pass us no matter how we do on the test." Sweet Pea scoffed, walking them over to his bike before removing his arm from her and throwing his leg over his bike, Stevie standing next to him.

"Doesn't matter. You still need to learn this stuff if you wanna graduate next year." Stevie huffed, running her fingers through his hair. If it was anyone who wasn't Stevie, he probably would have broken their wrist, but Stevie was the only person he allowed to touch his hair

Toni and Fangs shared a look with each other, rolling their eyes at the two before Toni called out, "C'mon love birds! We still gotta go to school."

-----------------------------

Stevie sat next to Toni in their English class with Jughead at the desk next to them and Sweet Pea sitting on top of the one diagonal from Jughead. Toni and Jughead were really the only ones paying attention to what Mr. Phillips had to say as Sweet Pea was on his phone and Stevie was doodling in her notebook. Very rarely did Stevie pay attention in her English class, mainly because she already knew everything he had taught.

The entire class was startled by Sweet Pea's sudden outburst.

"What?! Dammit!"

Kicking over the chair in front of him, he stormed out of the class and Stevie rolled her eyes and started packing up her bag

"Stevie..." Mr Phillips started before she cut him off by waving her hand at him.

"I'm already on it."

It wasn't the first time Stevie was sent after Sweet Pea after one of his outbursts. Everyone knew about his temper and how it was suicide mission for anyone to try and stop it. Stevie was often called out of class by either fellow serpents or Fangs and Toni who had texted her and told her about him storming off in a rage.

She pulled her bag over her shoulder and saluted the class before running after said serpent.

Stevie found him outside, kicking the crap out of a trash can. She rolled her eyes and rushed down the steps, "Pea? Hey! Look at me!"

Stevie dropped her bag and grabbed his face in both of her hands causing him to stop his assault on the trashcan and to turn his attention towards her.

"What happened?"

"Those damn Ghoulies. Fucking Malachai showed up at the wyrm, trying to get some of the other serpents to run JJ for him. They refused so they swung first." He explained causing her to nod her head, "Hey! Tall Boy and Hog eye can take care of the wyrm. Right now, you just need to calm down! You can't just go running out of class every time the ghoulies do something that piss you off!"

She noticed his breathing had slowed down and she took this time to look over his face. If you weren't paying close attention or looking close enough, you wouldn't even notice that he had very faint freckles on the bridge of his nose, running across his cheeks. He had black outlining his deep brown eyes with specks of gold in them. He also had an indent of a dimple by his mouth that only showed when he smiled, which he did when he was around Stevie.

"Enjoying the view, princess?" Sweet Pea smirked, causing Stevie to snap out of her thoughts and remove her hands from his face, reaching down to grab one of his large ones in her small hand.

"C'mon. Let's go down to the quarry. We need to get Toni if I have to deal with you and Fangs together." Stevie spoke, turning to grab her bag and lead Sweet Pea back inside of the school.

[bangtanger]

another tutorial for a fellow anon 

ok sO i just wanna explain what i did

ik u said that u r not that familiar with avisynth (i dont use potplayer) but it will really help u to get good sharping results 🥺 and ik it may look weird to u at first but its really simple u really need to paste text in one place and type trim and choose frames in another and thats literally all

here is the tutorial which im sure everyone saw but i used it to learn it helped me its basically copying two folders where it says and the rest is easy peasy u can see literally the whole process in my vid

also here is the that .bat file i downloaded (very helpful as it says it allows u to choose both beginning and ending timestamps and the original one in the previous tutorial doesnt do that so i highly recommend to use it)

also wanna say that this is the average process for mp4 vids for ts files or whenever u need 60fps gif it needs couple more actions and takes more time (i will also explain a lil below)

1 here u type whatever dimensions u want (i mean width must be 177/268/540px but the height can be whatever number u need)

2 always choose debilinear for everything and about the none,, yeah use none for mp4

for ts files for better quality use this qtgmc 30 slow instead of none

3 then u copy all of that and paste it (always) to 17th (!!!!) line and trim always on 8th (!!!) line

(u can also kind of automize trimming by clicking ‘home’ button when u pasted and opened a video (as u see in a tutorial) and then u choose the first and last frames and click on 8th line and click apply (ur gif will be everythign that has blue line there) (u can see how its done here)

4 then save and wait

5 then after importing i needed to check if i had extra frames i dont need and also i needed to blur subs with logo and i had to group layers that doesnt have subs and have subs into two different groups and did all that basic stuff that i cant translate (ok lemme try: converting to smart object, merge frames inro clips, convert into animantion, create frames from layers) but eveyrthing no matter what language has same spot and order so i hope it can work out for u even tho its not in english :(((

6 then all that basic topaz and smart sharpening stuff i do every time (most of settings r always the same the only thing i may change is that ‘overall strength’ in denoise) (u can also automize it by recording actions u did)

7 then same stuff as i did after blurring subs and logo (also i cut out the waiting part it took around 6 min and who needs those extra minutes of a video lol)

8 then u choose speed (whichever u prefer) and that endless loop thingy  (dunno how its called in eng again but as i said it all has same spots)

9 then u do the colouring (thankfully my psd looked ok with it)

10 then as i saw that the size is around 11 mb had to delete frames gotta keep it less than 10 mb and well thats kinda all

sorry for my english again i could explain better but i cant sahjdkdajhj

here is the gif