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bruh--wtf · 4 years ago

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hi can i anonymously request a jess mariano imagine where its something similar to the scolding he does to rory but instead reader does that wake up call for him because he is not acting like himself. i hope that this makes sense but to summarise a angst where reader scolds him for his unusual behaviour but with a happy ending

Yes, definitely! I hope I did this right, I didn't think it was confusing but if I read it wrong, feel free to call me out.

Reason for Return

Masterlist

Jess Mariano x Reader

Liz and TJ were getting married. Luke told you it was Renaissance themed. He was enthusiastic about it, of course. Well he didn't tell you specifically. You were getting lunch with Lorelai. And he told both of you.

Lorelai Gilmore. She was your surrogate mother. You'd asked her to adopt you, and you were sure your parents wouldn't know the difference if she did.

You went to college, of course. But you live at home because you're school was close by.

Tomorrow's the wedding. You were watching Kirk yell at Miss. Patty. You rolled your eyes, walking oast the gazibo, towards Lukes. Then you see him. Sitting on the bench.

He meets your eyes, his expression was flat. You tried to hide your shock, but stumbled a little. You quickly walk towards Luke's. You glare at him as you walk in. He puts his hands up.

"What did I do?" He asks. "I really don't need anyone else to give me shit."

"No warning. No warning whatsoever?!" You hiss, sitting down at the counter. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath.

"I forgot," he says. You gape at him.

"You forgot? You forgot to tell me Jess was coming?" You ask. He puts his hands on the counter.

"It's his mom's wedding," he says.

"What did he say when you told him that?" You ask. He nods, not answering. He knew you were right. "He looks pissed. Why does he look pissed?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I walked past him in the park and he looked numb. What's with that?" You ask. He sighs, giving you a sympathetic look.

Before Jess moved, you two were close. Really close. He was close with Rory, obviously. He was the reason her and Dean broke up. Well, Dean read the situation wrong. But he was right about one thing. Rory wasn't in love with him anymore. But if he had said "Y/N's into him," instead, that would be correct.

You weren't completely sure if Jess liked her or not. But, they never dated.

You were closer to dating the boy than your friend. But that too, never happened.

"He's just here for the wedding, Y/N," he says. You nod as he sets a mug down infront of you. Then he looks up and pulls the cup away. You gape at him.

"You're really depriving me of coffee now?" You ask. His eyes widened a fraction. You look behind you at where Jess was now walking into the diner.

He briefly looks at Luke and you. Mainly you. But it was still brief. He goes upstairs. You clench your fists. You stand up and Luke walks infront of the stairs.

"Really want to do that right now?" you ask. He sighs, moving to let you up the stairs. You go up to the apartment.

You step inside to see Jess grabbing a new book. You didn't have time to see what it was, but it looked like Luke's.

He looks over at you and rolls his eyes, not looking at you for long.

"I don't even get a hello?" You ask. He closes the book, which looked to have another one inside of it, and tries to walk past you. But you close the apartment door. He clenches his jaw, still avoiding looking at you.

"Nothing. For over a year," you say. He looks at you finally. "Say something!"

"What do you want me to say?" He asks.

"At least try to defend yourself," you say. He reaches around you for the door handle. You push him back, further into the apartment.

"I don't need to defend myself to you," he says. You raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, no? Who was it that left me right before graduation completely broken?" His eyes leave yours again. "Want to defend yourself now?"

"This town was never for me, you know that," he says. You scoff.

"Bullshit," you say. He glares at you. "You liked it here, I know you did."

"You don't know anything about me," he says, again trying to get passed you.

"Like hell I don't!" You yell, pushing him back yet again. "I forgave you. Of course you wouldn't know that, because you weren't here. But I did. Months ago. Because Luke explained it to me. And I knew you well enough to figure out why you thought not graduating was even remotely intelligent," you say. His jaw was still clenched.

"If you forgave me, then why do you want me to defend myself?"

"Because you're acting like a complete asshole! You should at least want to try and talk to me. But you can barely look at me! And I want to know why!"

He couldn't meet your eye. You tilt your head slightly, trying to get him to look at you. You raise an eyebrow. You noticed how his hair had grown out a little bit.

"What the hell is going on with you?" You ask. He looks at you.

"I didn't mean to break you, and you shouldn't have forgiven me," he says. You stare at the boy.

"You're kidding me, right? You're acting like this because you want me to be pissed at you?"

He meets your eyes again, showing you were right. You scoff. "Tell me what's going on with you," you say. He doesn't say anything. "Tell me!"

"I can't give you an answer that you would like," he says. You scoff, giving a sarcastic smile.

"I can't promise I'd like any answer. But I still want one," you say. He blinks, looking down, avoiding looking at you yet again. You bring a hand up to his face, trying to turn it slightly, but he turns his face further away. You bring your other hand up. He looks at you. "Please, Jess."

He lets out a breath, and you felt the hot air fan your face. Your breath hitched slightly, but it wasn't enough for him to notice. "I didn't talk to you because I knew that talking to you would make me want to come back."

You stare at him for a moment. Your hands become loose and they slide down slightly, landing on his chest. You tried to understand. You didn't know what it could actually mean. He sees the confusion on your face and shifts more, to face you.

"I liked it here, you're right. Only because of Luke, Rory, and you. Mainly you. And if I heard your voice, if I knew you weren't mad at me, I would have been back here instantly."

You stare at him. You were hoping his words meant one thing, but part of you doubted it. The bigger part. "What's so wrong with that?" You ask.

"Nobody wants me here. Not Luke, not the town-"

"I do!" You say. He watches you. "And... even if you didn't stay here, I want you to at least talk to me!"

You realize your hands have probably sat in their spot for far to long, so you let them fall yet again. This time they landed at your sides, as you let out a sigh.

"I don't deserve you," he says, almost quietly. You meet his eyes.

"Jess-"

"No, I knew it when we started getting close. I knew that this would happen. I hurt you and you still somehow want to talk to me," he says, like he can't believe it.

"Well it's true. You're right, the town doesn't want you here. But Luke does. And I'm sure your mom does. And I do. If you want to be somewhere else, that's fine. But don't pretend like you didn't spend years here, like we don't exist."

"You think that's what I've been doing?"

"Sure seems like it."

"Well, it's not." You stare at him and raise an eyebrow. "I think about you every single day. You are always somehow popping into my head."

"Jess... what are you saying?" His fingers trace your wrist lightly, as if he's hesitant to hold your hands.

"I'm saying that if I had stayed, I would have wanted more than just being friends," he admits. You felt your mouth fall open slightly.

It took you a minute to process and question. "You-"

"I'm in love with you." Your eyes widen even more.

He looks nervous, waiting for a response. You couldn't fully process it. Jess Mariano. The boy you were the closest with for so long. The boy who you fell for a few months after he moved to your town. He was in love with you. And you'd wanted to hear it for so long, but you couldn't form the words to say it back.

He takes your silence as the wrong answer. He takes his hands away, nodding, looking down at his book, then up at the door. He takes a step around you, out into the stairway. You finally leap into motion. You turn, grabbing his wrist.

"Y/N-" he is cut off by you rising up slightly on your toes, connecting your lips with his. He didn't take long to react. His lips felt slightly chapped, and moved gently against your own. His hands found the side of your face. One of your hands gently rested intbetween his chest and abdomen. And your other hand reached up, lightly tracing his arm.

When the two of you finally pull apart, he rests his head on yours. "I don't know if you noticed... but I love you too." He chuckles, one of his hands mindlessly playing with your hair.

"I might need you to show me that again," he says. You tried to hide your smile by biting your lips. A small blush crept onto your cheeks. "Would you be my date to the wedding?"

You pecked his lips, still smiling.

"I'll take that as a yes?" You laugh slightly, nodding.

"Yes. It's a yes."

#gilmore girls fic #lorelai gilmore #gilmore girls #rory gilmore #jess mariano x y/n #jess mariano fic #jess mariano x you #jess mariano x reader #jess mariano #lukes diner #luke danes #liz and tj

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brightest-ideas · 3 years ago

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(I meant to upload this yesterday but it was late and I was too tired to write, so just pretend this happened yesterday. 1300+ word fanfic under the cut, the Bright Brothers deserve some bonding)

It's been some time since Jack had seen his brother rush to the bathroom. He always made sure his siblings wouldn't see him cry, with a mixed success rate, but the middle Bright brother got quite good at recognising whenever his sibling was upset and although he knew Mikell would hate it if he knew he couldn't help but be concerned.

Jack glanced from time to time from the TV program he was watching with TJ towards the bathroom, tapping his finger on the armrest of the sofa while his leg nervously bounced in place. It's been an hour now and no sight of his older brother yet.

Wordlessly he got up from the couch and headed towards the bathroom. Three rhythmic knocks followed by an uncertain teenage voice, almost breaking halfway through.

"Mikell?"

No response. He felt like his stomach was about to flip in on itself.

He grabbed the handle and creaked the door open, first just slightly, preparing to get berated for barging into an occupied bathroom; but the familiar voice never came, prompting him to swing the door fully open and was immediately hit with the cold night air. His brows furrowed as he started into an empty room, no Mikell, just an open window.

He sighed heavily with just a slight hint of relief which was quickly overpowered by more stress. Of course, his brother would sneak out. But why the window?

Closing the window and the door behind him, Jack headed back to the living room and grabbed his jacket, glancing at TJ as he dressed up and put on his shoes.

"I'm heading out for a second, be back in a bit."

He waited for TJ to nod in acknowledgement before heading out the door. As he exited the house the sound of the show faded away, being replaced by the ever-present cricket songs. The sun had almost completely set, only dimly illuminating the ground and his surroundings; in the background, the trees appeared almost completely black and the sky was slowly turning dark blue, the first stars poking out from between sparse, dark clouds. Despite this, he didn't feel the need to grab a flashlight as he briskly stepped down the porch and turned towards the backyard, the dim light of the late evening and the soft, yellow glow cast from the house's interior were enough to guide him.

He paused just briefly in the middle of the backyard, contemplating where to go, or more accurately where Mikell could have gone. He briefly glanced towards the stables, seeing all five of their horses still in their enclosure, some sense of relief washing over him. Had his brother taken one of the horses and rode somewhere, there was no way for Jack to find him, especially not with his lacklustre horse riding skills. But if none of them was missing, that meant Mikell was still at their farm or at the very least close. His gaze then turned to the barn; he might as well start searching on the farm before going anywhere else, and his older brother tended to sit at the very back of their property, sulking by himself whenever he was upset and didn't want any of them to see him. It was probably the best decision to start looking there.

He stepped into the red, wooden barn, silently going past the stacks of hay and straw to the back; he stopped in his tracks, seeing the back door open wide and, lucky him, his brother, sitting where he always would, watching the horizon silently. He frowned, wondering how the hell Mikell wasn't cold in what he was wearing or if it was an intentional decision on his part, the latter idea upsetting him even more.

He walked up behind his sibling and wrapped his arms around his neck, which made Mikell jump in surprise and grip one of the boy's arms tightly.

"Oh, holy- don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry." But Jack just tightened his hug, leaning his cheek against Mikell's head.

The older man sighed and loosened his grip. "What are you doing here?"

"I was curious where you were." He lied, knowing Mikell never liked it when somebody was worried for him. "It's getting dark already."

"I can see that. I just needed a moment to cool off."

"Mh..." Jack leaned his chin on top of the older one's head and scrunched up his nose, coughing as the sharp, bitter smell of smoke hit his nostrils. "Mum wouldn't like that you're smoking, you know?"

Mikell huffed. "It's not like that woman has any way of knowing." He brought up the cigarette to his lips and took another whiff of it, some of the ash falling on the ground.

The younger brother frowned, gripping the sleeves of his jacket gently. "...Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well...I saw...uh..."

The long-haired ginger turned and looked up at his younger brother with a perplexed and troubled look, making Jack lose his grip on him.

"I saw how they upset you again."

"You saw all that?"

Jack nodded and his sibling sighed heavily.

"Jack-" He patted the ground next to him. "Come here." As he sat down, Mikell pulled him closer, wrapping his free arm around the back of his brother. "I don't want you worrying about me, alright? That's my job, not yours."

"But-"

"No buts, Jackie." He brushed some hair off the younger one's face. "I'm your caretaker, I should be worried about you. Not the other way around."

James grimaced but stayed quiet, bringing the legs up to his chest and slightly leaning against Mikell, looking at the ground as the two sat still in silence broken only by the sound of Mikell breathing out the cigarette smoke.

"...What if I tell them-"

"No."

The older Bright brother's voice was so sharp and stern, it almost took the younger one by surprise. He looked up at him, meeting his brother's harsh gaze.

"But it's not fair, if they knew-"

"I said no, James. You understand it's not safe for you, don't you?"

"But-"

"James." Jack winced at Mikell's tone, it was the exact one he'd always use when reprimanding him, he didn't like it. "You can't just trust strangers. I can't be sure that they wouldn't tease you or go tattle to somebody. I would much rather they harass me than you."

The younger boy huffed, crossing his arms as he looked away. "...Fine."

"I want you to promise you won't tell anyone, as we agreed."

James stayed silent, clenching the fabric of his jacket.

"James, look at me."

Reluctantly so, he looked up at his brother, noticing his expression was much more concerned than before.

"I need you to promise you won't tell anyone."

"I promise."

"Good." He ruffled his younger brother's hair, ignoring the complaints and the tight grip of James' hand on his wrist. "You know I only do this because I don't want to see you hurt."

"...I know." He grumbled, pushing the other one's hand away. "It's just...frustrating."

"I know."

"And it's not fair! The fact that they insist you're a bad brother when they don't even know-"

"I know." He put his hand on Jack's head. "I understand you don't like it, but I told you already."

"You'd rather they pester you than me, I know."

"Exactly."

"I just..." Jack sighed, leaning against his brother gently. "I hate to see you hurt too, you know?"

"I can handle myself, little man. I'm an adult, unlike you." He took one final puff of his cigarette before snuffing it out on the ground. "Alright, I think it's time to go home." He hopped up to his feet, quickly dusting himself off and gave Jack a hand, helping him up too. "It's getting late and you have school tomorrow."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

#mike.txt #jack.txt #scp #scp foundation #mikell bright #o5 6 #dr bright #dr jack bright #note james is my headcanon for jack's full name. its a nice name so :)#long post

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pastpatientlywaitingforimagines · 4 years ago

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Starlight | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic

WC: 1410

A/N: This is for @wesleeporstudy who requested a Found Family!Hotch x Reader fic! I intended for this to be a drabble but I was having too much fun and got a little carried away... enjoy!

GALAXY MASTERLIST (not needed to understand the plot but there’s similar content here if you liked this fic!)

“Are you sure you can’t come with me?” Spencer didn’t have to clarify his question for you to know he felt better about speaking at conferences when you were there. You were standing toe to toe in front of your car at the airport parking lot, dropping him off for his flight. Everything about his body language showed hesitation, including the way he was clutching his go bag.

You felt bad, truly. You wanted to go with him, but you had an obligation in Virginia that you couldn’t reschedule. “I have some things I have to take care of here. You know I’d only miss one of your lectures for something extra important.”

The corners of Spencer’s lips turned down at your answer, though you both knew you were right, “and you still won’t tell me what it is?”

“If I did, you wouldn’t go to your conference. Don’t worry about it though. You’re going to knock the socks off of those criminology professors,” you reached up to brush a piece of lint off of his jacket lapel, “you should go before you miss your flight.”

“Actually, based on the number of departing flights today and the amount of foot traffic in the airport, it takes approximately 45 minutes to get through security at this time of day, and another ten to find the assigned gate. I could stand out here with you for another thirty minutes before I’m late enough to miss my flight.”

“Spencer,” you chided, “go get on your plane, I’ll be here when you get back. Do you want me to pick you up?”

Spencer nodded eagerly, “could you?”

“Of course. Now go!” You put your hands on his shoulders and turned him to face the entrance of the airport. You watched him walk through the sliding doors, then got back into your car. Spencer would be ok on his own, you reminded yourself as you drove to the nearest grocery store. You had to pick up a few more things before continuing on to your final destination, including a birthday cake and some sports themed napkins.

Hotch seemed relieved to see you when he opened his apartment door.

“Here, let me help you with that,” he offered, reaching out to take some of the many items you had managed to balance in your arms.

“Thanks, where’s the birthday boy?” you asked, following him inside. Before Hotch could answer, your legs were attacked in a hug from Jack.

“Hi (y/n),” he chirped, looking up at you with a toothy grin.

“Are you ready…” you asked him slowly, then quickly changed your tone, “for the best birthday party ever!?”

“YES!” Jack screamed, matching your excitement level.

“Oh phew,” you dramatized, wiping imaginary sweat off of your forehead, “can you help me and your dad put up some decorations? They should be in that blue bag over there.” Jack scrambled over to the bag, pulling out the various decor items you had purchased. He helped Hotch put up streamers and banners while you put out tablecloths and bowls of snacks. You also set up a gift table, putting the wrapped box you brought in the center.

Just as you finished setting up, the first of Jack’s friends started to arrive. You left talking to the kids’ parents up to Hotch, instead entertaining the herd of second graders with a game of Twister. After Twister you facilitated a game of freeze dance, then took a break for pizza, cake, and presents. You then produced a box of small Nerf guns, told an elaborate story about how you stole a priceless gem, and tasked the group of tiny FBI agents to hunt you down after giving you a thirty second head start.

“You’re very good at this,” Hotch tried to look nonchalant leaning against the counter as to not give away your hiding spot next to him. You adjusted your makeshift helmet, a colander that you had found in a cabinet, before answering in a whisper.

“My cousin has a whole crew of small children. I used to stay with them during school breaks,” you paused to peek over the countertop, quickly locating the kids strategizing in Jack’s room, “I’ve run my fair share of birthday parties, and done twice as much babysitting.”

“Well, thank you for taking time out of your weekend to help out here.”

“Anytime, Hotch, really. I’ve seen how stressed out you’ve been lately. Our job isn’t easy and I can’t even imagine how much harder it is while also being a single parent.” You had offered to help out with Jack’s birthday party after catching Hotch still in his office at 2 a.m. trying to plan it a few weeks ago. It was the least you could do after Hotch denied your request to take some of his paperwork instead. You glanced over the counter again, a foam bullet whizzing by your ear. “My position’s been compromised, gotta go!”

You dramatically rolled into the kitchen, firing back some more bullets before getting hit by the entire firing squad of eight year old assailants. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Hotch laughing at your exaggerated performance. It made you happy seeing him smile, it wasn’t something you saw from your Unit Chief often.

“Ahhhhhhh you got me!! I still have one trick up my sleeve though… a partner! Super villain Hotchner, take the gem and my gun!” you slid the “gem” and your Nerf gun across the linoleum floor towards Hotch’s feet before pretending to die. Hotch picked up the items and ran towards his office, the kids chasing after him. You took the opportunity to eat a slice of pizza and drink some soda, effectively refueling yourself for the rest of the party.

You helped Hotch clean up after all of the kids went home. Jack attached himself to your legs once again right before you were about to leave.

“What do we say to (y/n) for helping out with your party?” Hotch asked his son.

“Thank you,” Jack recited, tightening his grip on you.

“You’re very welcome, my friend,” you ruffled his hair, “will you help out with my birthday party this year?” Jack’s eyes lit up and he immediately started spurting different party themes that you could have, which included trains, superheroes, and cowboys.

“Those are all very good ideas, we have a few months so we can think on it, ok?”

“Thanks again for your help, this wouldn’t have been successful without you,” Hotch handed you a tupperware of leftover cake.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re the coolest Dad ever. Like I said though, anytime. Jack is like the little brother I never had, I would do anything for this kid.” You meant it, too. Jack was just as much a part of your found family as anyone else on the team.

“See you Monday, (y/n).”

“See you Monday, boss,” you repeated, finally heading out the door and to your car.

On Monday morning you found yourself back in the airport parking lot, sitting on the hood of your car eating the last of the leftover cake. When Spencer exited the building and spotted you, his pace quickened.

“How was your conference?” you asked, sliding off of your car and getting inside once he reached your vehicle.

“It went really well, there was a fantastic talk on the link between victimization and offending that you would have liked- wait, is that cake?” Spencer stopped mid-ramble when he noticed the dish in your hands.

“It sure is,” you turned to put the container in the backseat.

“Where did you get cake?”

“Jack’s birthday party,” you shrugged, starting the drive towards work.

“Jack’s birthday isn’t until next week though.”

“Brian Trevino’s birthday party is next weekend even though his birthday isn’t for another two weeks,” you explained. Spencer’s eyes narrowed as he thought about what you had just said.

“Who is Brian Trevino?” He finally asked.

“A kid in Jack’s class, that’s why Jack had to have his birthday party this weekend, because they would have invited the same kids.”

“I didn’t realize you were so invested in the drama of the second grade.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Spencer Reid.”

“Actually, I know most things about you.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like the fact that you’ve had blue frosting on your face for the last five minutes.”

Galaxy Taglist: @kermitsaysgayrights @niallthedancingharry @shadyladyperfection @thatsonezesty13 @lexshead @ceeellewrites @howdycharlie @girlycakepops @fantastic-fans @canimarrypizzaornah @daisyflower138 @dyingrexx @taylormobley @bazzleslynn @tj-drinks-tea @willa-wonky @eddiesbifocals @itsafreakingtouque @tee-mbrown @reniescarlett

#aaron hotchner x reader #spencer reid x reader #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #platonic imagine

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sapphosclown · 4 years ago

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Treat You Better - Tyrus AU

Part XIV: i guess we carried each other

Cyrus and TJ present their history project.

Masterlist

———

Cyrus was woken up by his alarm, a pleasant scene where birds are chirping quietly in the background and a soft melody crescendos into a lovely morning song.

It absolutely infuriated him.

Nothing against birds or happy music, but it’s 6am and Cyrus has been studying for midterms all week and and now he has to present a project with the guy who is mad at him for whatever unknown reason and quite frankly, Cyrus didn’t want to leave his bed ever again.

The memory of his and TJ’s rehearsal on Monday has been haunting him all week. Andi and Buffy said not to worry about it so he’s really been trying not to, but he can’t.

He misses how it used to be. TJ was always so open and talkative during their study sessions even Cyrus was rude and dismissive. He made Cyrus laugh anyways, made him feel relaxed. It didn’t feel like a school project, it just felt like hanging out with a friend. And now that he can enjoy that atmosphere, it’s taken away from him. Because of course it is.

Cyrus begrudgingly got out of bed and threw on his clothes before going to brush his teeth.

He got to school 15 minutes before the first exam period and saw Andi and Buffy in their usual spots and Jonah sitting on the table across from Buffy in the cafeteria.

“Hey, Cyrus!” Jonah smiled wide at him and held his hand up for a high five to which Cyrus responded with a weak tap as he slid into his seat.

“C'mon man you can do better than that.” Jonah said disapprovingly as he held his hand over to Buffy who slapped his hand without even looking.

“I’m sorry, I’m so tired today.” Cyrus groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“Good thing I got a present for you,” Buffy sang as she slid an iced coffee across the table to him.

He looked at the coffee and back to buddy, eyes wide. “I love you.” He deadpanned, causing his friends to laugh.

“Today’s our last day and then it’s winter break, you got this!” Jonah nudged his shoulder gently.

“I think he’s just not excited for today in particular.” Andi replied, breaking apart each syllable of “particular”.

“Why, what’s happening today?” Jonah asked.

“He has his presentation with TJ today.” Buffy whispered loudly to Jonah.

“Oh.” Jonah whispered loudly back.

“You guys are so subtle.” Andi mimicked their voices.

“Whatever. I’ll be fine. Can we talk about something else?” Cyrus dismissed and took a sip of his coffee.

That lit up something in Buffy. “Oh yeah! Andi, tell him.”

“OH YEAH! Cyrus, you know how I was gonna ask Amber for her number?” She said excitedly.

“I do. Did you chicken out?” Cyrus teased, taking another sip of his drink.

Andi glared at him. “No.” she said quickly before shifting her eyes to the ceiling. “Well, I didn’t really get a chance BECAUSE SHE ASKED ME FIRST!”

Cyrus smiled at Buffy. “Called it.” He whispered loudly. Andi hit his arm playfully as he giggled and flinched away.

“Whatever. I still don’t know if she’s—”

“She is.” Jonah interjected.

Everyone turned to him with confused expressions.

“How do you know?” Andi asked.

“She told me. She doesn’t try to keep it a secret, did you not see the rainbow pin on her bag? Or the rainbow sticker on her name tag?” Jonah explained.

Buffy snorted.

“No I saw— She told you?” Andi asked again, still very lost.

“Yeah we’re friends.”

“Not the development I expected but a good one nonetheless.” Buffy joked to Cyrus.

“Since when?” Andi yelled.

“A while now. Our moms are friends and we have a lot in common. She told me she was gay like 2 years ago, I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out.” Jonah replied.

Andi stared at him.

“You knew her this whole time, and didn’t think to say anything?”

“I didn’t realize she was the girl you were madly in love with.”

Buffy snorted again.

“I AM NOT IN LOVE W—” Andi got cut off by the 5 minute warning bell and Buffy Cyrus and Jonah all started grabbing their bags to head to class. Andi stares at Jonah, grabbing her own bag. “We’re finishing this conversation later Beck.” She threatened before walking away.

Jonah looked at Cyrus with fear in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me man!”

“What did I do!” Jonah laughed as he and Cyrus headed to their first exam.

***

The good news is Cyrus had English for his first exam to distract him from his impending doom. The bad news is English is is over and now he has to go to history.

Under regular circumstances he’d be glad that his teacher is taking these presentations for their midterm grades, but he’s kind of too busy cursing whatever god is out there controlling his life to worry about his grade.

Cyrus subconsciously walked ever so slightly slower to his history classroom, knowing it doesn’t actually make a difference to what’s gonna happen but it’s worth a shot. Turns out it kind of worked, but in the worst way possible.

Cyrus got to the room at the exact same time as TJ and they practically ran each other over trying to get through the door at the same time.

“Hey, what the hell— Cyrus!” TJ said much louder than he probably meant to.

Cyrus stood at him in shock for a second. Of course he thought to himself. “Um, sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” He forced a smile and walked into class as TJ called after him.

“Wait, Cyrus—” TJ said, taking a seat next to him. “Can... Can we talk?”

Cyrus opened his mouth to respond but the only sound that came was from the bell signaling clad to start. Cyrus looked to the front of the room where their teacher had already started talking.

“Alright, we don’t really have time to waste so, look for you and your partners names on the board. If each presentation is 3-5 minutes we should have some time leftover to watch a quarter of a movie. Sound good?”

The class mumbled in content agreement.

“Great. If you and your partner feel like you’d like to go over your work one more time, you can practice in the hall QUIETLY, while the group before you is presenting. Alright, first up—”

And so Cyrus spent the first 15 minutes of class sitting awkwardly next to TJ as they kept looking over at each other in what was supposed to be sneaky glances but they’re kind of bad at being subtle and make contact almost every time. Eventually the people before then stand up to present and TJ turns to Cyrus.

“Hey, can we—” He whispered pointing to the hallway. Cyrus pressed his lips in a straight line attempting an awkward smile and grabbed his bag, TJ following him suite.

TJ quietly closed the door behind them and turned around.

He took a deep breath. “Um— I just wanted to apologize for how I acted the other day.”

Cyrus shifted a bit. “Okay...”

They stood in silence for a beat.

“So...”

“That was it.”

“Have you ever heard an apology? Like ever?” Cyrus tried to joke but he knew it came off more bitter than he meant it to.

“I’m sorry, you’re right.”

“So you’ve apologized for not apologizing, but you still haven’t apologized.” Cyrus stated.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re hard to apologize to?” TJ retorted.

“No, actually. This would be a first.” TJ smiled at that.

“Okay. I’m sorry for how i acted the other day. That wasn’t fair to you. I guess I just thought that if I pretended like I didn’t care it’d make things easier but I was... very wrong.”

“Yeah. No kidding.” Cyrus snorted.

TJ looked at his shoes and Cyrus stared at him. “It’s okay. I mean, I guess I understand where you were coming from but it still kind of sucked. I thought you hated me.” Cyrus said.

“I know. I’m sorry.” TJ said again.

Cyrus nodded.

A soft smiled tugged at TJ’s lips before he tore his eyes to his notebook. “Um, good job on your section by the way, I don’t get a chance to say it but yeah. Not that I thought you’d do a bad job or anything because you’re really smart and I’m actually surprised you stuck with me as your partner because—”

“Thanks, TJ.” Cyrus cut off his rambling, laughing quietly. “You did a really good job too. And you pretty much nailed all the dates too so, congratulations.”

“Ha, thanks.” TJ clearly didn’t believe him.

“Seriously Teej,” Cyrus took a step forward and put his hand on the other boys shoulder. “You should be proud of yourself.”

Cyrus saw TJ’s cheeks turning a light shade of pink s he felt his own face burn a little. If nothing else, one thing hadn’t changed— TJ still had the prettiest eyes Cyrus has ever seen.

They were interrupted by the door opening and their teachers face popped through. “You boys are up!” He whispered enthusiastically before slipping back into the room.

The boys looked at each other a again and laughed awkwardly, both still extreme shades of red but pretending they weren’t.

Their presentation actually went pretty smoothly. The biggest issue they ran into was stuttering every here and there, but this was already ten million times better than their practice run had been. Both of them quickly melted into their dynamic and everything else came pretty naturally and they were done in about 3 and a half minutes. The class snapped quietly (as to not disturb the other classes) and they both sat down, continuing the rest of class “sneaking” looks at each other and smiling when they made eye contact every time.

***

Cyrus stared at his phone while his friends talked around him at Andi’s locker. It started with Andi scolding Jonah for not being her wingman earlier on but Cyrus lost tack pretty quickly as his mind wandered back to TJ.

He was staring at his contact in his phone and debating on sending a text. On one hand, he wasn’t entirely sure where they stood now. Were they friends again? Were they just school acquaintances again? They weren’t project partners anymore so should he keep TJ’s phone number? Cyrus could already feel that he was about to drive himself crazy and just pushed aside all his thoughts and typed out a message.

Cyrus: good job on the project today!! all things considered i think we did pretty well :)

Cyrus shuts off his phone and puts it back in his pocket as he tried to ignore the part of his brain screaming at him. He heard about 3 words in the conversation unfolding before him before he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He yanked his phone back out and read the message in the screen

TJ: thanks :) i can’t take too much credit tho, you definitely carried me the whole way through

Cyrus: you’re simply incorrect. you carried me

TJ: i guess that means we carried each other then huh

Cyrus: i guess it does

“Oooooooooo, who ya textin?” Buffy sang, poking at Cyrus’s arm.

“No one!” He tried to say but the smile on his face begged to differ.

“So did you and TJ make up then?” Andi asked.

“Yeah. We talked before the presentation and it helped.” Cyrus blushed harder.

“You should invite him to the spoon with us!” Jonah proposed.

Cyrus looked at all his friends. “Really? Are you guys sure its okay?”

“Of course! Andi’s invited Amber, who’s one more gonna hurt!” Buffy replied.

“Okay...” Cyrus turned back to his phone, his friends watching him intently. Cyrus stood still and cleared his throat aggressively. Catching the hint they all turn back to their own little conversation.

“So, words amirite?” He hears Andi say.

Cyrus: my friends and i are getting some celebratory end of semester shakes at the spoon, if you’re not doing anything you can join, if you want

He clicked his phone off again pretending like nothing was happening because technically, nothing was happening. He invited his friend to get milkshakes with his friends, big whoop. Except everyone had gone silent again and was staring at Cyrus.

“What we’re you saying about words, Andi?”

“Oh, uh—”

Their fake conversation quickly turned into a very real and heated debate about phonetics which Cyrus had invested himself in hoping to forget about the fact that a full minute and a half has already passed and he still hasn’t heard anything back.

Another minute passes and Cyrus was just about ready to call it quits when he felt his pocket buzz.

TJ: sounds fun :) i’ll meet you guys there?

Cyrus: cool :)

They get to the Spoon and see Amber sitting the the largest corner booth in her normal people clothes. She stands up and waves them over with a smile on her face.

“I already ordered some baby taters but I wasn’t sure what milkshakes you guys wanted because I can never remember who likes what.” Amber said nervously as everyone took their seat.

“That’s ok. There’s one more joining us so we’ll order when he gets here.” Jonah reassured her.

“Oh, who is it?”

As if on que, the door rang as TJ stepped inside and scanned the room, and then waving excitedly when he sees Cyrus.

“You’re joking.” Amber laughs in disbelief and stands up again, making eye contact with TJ who’s face drops like hers before they both start laughing hysterically leaving everyone feeling confused and kind of left out.

“Wait... that’s...” TJ laughed before Amber shushed him.

“I didn’t realize you were talking about...” Amber started before TJ shushed her.

“Hey, what’s going on...” Buffy whispered to the two of them.

“Oh, um, Cyrus remember when I told you I have a sister—” TJ said simply, gesturing towards Amber.

Amber turned to Cyrus and smiled and waved weakly.

“No way.” Buffy said to no one in particular as she smiled widely. She was gonna have a field day with this.

Jonah looked like he was about to pee his pants trying not to laugh and Cyrus and Andi were completely stunned and just stared at each other for a second before also laughing, the rest of the group doing the same.

“I hate it here.” Amber joked as she sat down next to Andi.

“I’ve literally never been happier in my life.” Buffy laughed as she moved so TJ could sit next to Cyrus.

“Jonah, why didn’t you tell them?” Amber yelled at him.

“I THOUGHT THEY HAD FIGURED IT OUT! Cyrus has been to your house multiple times how did you not know!” Jonah yelled back.

They dissolved into more playful yelling and despite being way too loud for this little diner, Cyrus still felt happier than he had all year.

A waiter came over after they had quieted down and took their orders. Everyone started talking about something but Cyrus had noticed that TJ’s pinky was touching his own and that was all he could focus on. It was the lightest touch and yet if felt like his skin was on fire. As if that wasn’t enough, TJ must have noticed it too, because he looped his finger over Cyrus’s, making Cyrus’s face heat up involuntarily and he hoped no one had noticed. When Cyrus didn’t move away, TJ carefully flipped his hand over and intertwined the rest of their fingers. Cyrus looked at him but TJ had gone back into the conversation. Cyrus smiled at him and then tuned back in himself.

He never wanted this to end.

He was happy.

———

previous // next

a/n: happy boys for today me thinks 😌 the angst is finally dying down and there’s i think gonna be two more chapters (excluding the epilogue) and our boys are gonna get the happy ending they deserve but for now, they hold hands under the table at the spoon and enjoy the company of their friends. ALSO I WAS LOOSING MY MIND WRITING THE PART WHERE W TJ AND AMBER OH MY GOD i hope you enjoyed lmao

also i’m updating my tag list to make sure the notifications are getting sent and if you want to be added or taken off just lmk!!

tag list:

@secretly-of-course @abg-blah @maybeldontwantheaven @thebisexualweirdo @randomsmilingpotatoes @iam-johnlocked @ohnoitsamistake18 @im-mormon-and-not-straight @unrequitedambi @marriedtobigfoot @fairygclds @c-ristopher @tylercamebackyes @tyrus-is-canon @craftyceleb @ana-lana-ding-dong @dancinglifeboat

#i finished this chapter months ago but was waiting till i finished the next chapter to post it #and i finished that last night and i thought ab waiting a lil longer to post this but i didn’t wanna #ta da #andi mack #tyrus #cyrus goodman #tj kippen #tyrus fic #andi mack fic #treat you better tyrus au #tyrus au #my writing

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scavengerbird · 3 years ago

Text

TJ & the Angel

The angel’s got a thousand eyes and they’re all looking at TJ.

He guesses it’s an angel. That’s what it said it was. Or that’s what it told him it was. It didn’t really say, TJ guesses, ‘cuz it didn’t make any sound. There were just words in his head, all a sudden, without any kinda sound or sight or shape except an understanding of their meaning. It sorta burned, but not in a bad way.

He figures it can’t really speak with sound ‘cuz it hasn’t got a mouth as far as he can tell, just all those wide brown eyes, movin’ and spinnin’ round each other and never blinkin’. It’s like a Ferris wheel got tangled up with a couple other Ferris wheels but the cars are eyes and the whole things on fire. Kinda.

TJ’s all soaked through and shivering still, ‘cuz apparently the angel can pull his body outta the river and pull the riverwater outta his lungs, but it can’t dry his clothes off. Or maybe it could, if he asks, but he can’t figure out if that would be rude or not.

He wants to get home before Dad, so he can sit by the radiator and have a cigarette in the house and not have to explain why he’s got half the water from the Missouri with him. But it’s bad manners to leave when someone’s in the middle of talkin’ to you, and he figures it’s probably double bad if that someone just saved your life, and triple bad if that someone is an angel of the Lord. He can’t even imagine what Ma would say, if he just up and walked off right now.

So he tries to pay attention.

Hearing the angel is hard, but in a way that feels good. Like the burn in his legs when he runs, except instead of just his legs, it’s his whole body, or, more than that even, his whole self. The angel’s sayin’ lots of grand sounding things, about destiny and purpose, a higher calling and his own free choice, watching over him and waiting for the right time and love and repeating history and hope.

TJ’s brain is starting to go a little fuzzy trying to hold it all in. It’s like being drunk, on the good whiskey Cecily lifted from her grandad’s cabinet that one time, not the cheap shit beer they usually get Armani’s older brother to buy them. Everything feels far away and a little funny. An angel pulled him from a river. He was dying and then he wasn’t. The angel wants something from him. He wants to laugh, but he doesn’t have to think about if that’s rude or not, he knows it is.

Something warm is dripping from his nose, and he thinks it must be runny from the cold, except when he wipes at it with the back of his hand what comes away is red.

TJ wakes up in his own bed and tries to pretend to himself the angel and the river and the blood was a dream. He lies there for a moment, tellin’ that to himself over and over, but he’s never been much good at lying. Always gets caught, even by himself.

When he finally gives in and opens his eyes, he just about shits himself. There’s a boy’s face hovering over his own, just a few inches away. The eyes are wide and brown and very familiar, but that doesn’t stop TJ from startling so bad he rolls back and off the side of his bed, knocking his head on the hardwood.

“Jesus,” he mutters, once he’s got his breath back. The angel tilts its head at him. It looks like a boy now, instead of a burning storm cloud raining eyes. A boy about his age, scrawny and brown-skinned and with those same eyes, just set still in a face under thick eyebrows and a few pimples. It’s followed him, crawling onto his bed to keep peering at him by leaning over the side.

“NO,” it says, “NOT QUITE. NOT EVEN CLOSE, REALLY.” TJ can’t tell if it’s serious or if that’s supposed to be a joke. He doesn’t know if angels make jokes, doesn’t know if they can. He wonders if it’ll smite him, for taking the lord’s name in vain. Ma’d say it’d serve him right.

It’s making actual sound now, but there’s still something about its voice that burns on the way down, makes him feel warm all over. “ARE YOU OKAY?” it asks, forehead wrinkling in concern.

“Yeah,” TJ sighs, “I’m alright. Just hit my head.” He tries to sit up, but the world spins a little and he has to catch himself on the bedframe to keep from flopping right back down.

“HERE,” the angel says. And then it reaches out to cup the goose egg growing on the back of his head, and before he can even finish wincing from being touched there a white-hot flash sears through his skull, and he gasps and his whole body jerks and he sorta notices that the angel has to reach out and grab his arm with its other hand to keep him mostly upright. And then the heat is gone. So is the dizziness, and the pain, and the goose egg.

TJ gently touches the back of his own head, where it felt like he got stabbed and then felt like nothing had happened at all. His fingers brush against the angel’s and he pulls back.

“What was that?” he asks, voice ragged.

“I HEALED YOU,” the angel says simply.

“Then why did it hurt?” TJ asks, trying to swallow something down, but his throat is dry.

The angel shrugs, looks sad for just a second, and says, “HEALING USUALLY DOES.”

TJ hasn’t really got anything to say to that, so he just shrugs outta the angel’s arms and heaves himself to his feet.

TJ’s starvin’, so he makes the angel follow him down to the kitchen. He musta slept for hours, ‘cuz it’s dark outside the window. He pokes his head outta his room real quick to make sure the coast is clear. The door to Dad’s room is firmly shut, and the house is quiet, so TJ gives the angel a thumbs up and waves it out after him.

Downstairs, TJ doesn’t bother with the kitchen light switch. He likes the nighttime too much, feels safer in the dark. The soft yellow slice of light that comes out the fridge when he opens it is good enough. The angel wanders over to stare out the window above the kitchen sink while TJ digs out grape jelly and bread and peanut butter. He can tell it’s gettin’ antsy, that its just waitin’ to give him the speech it started at the edge of the river. He’s not sure what it’s waitin’ for. Maybe it feels bad about him passin’ out and thinks he’ll have a better chance with something in his stomach. Maybe its waitin’ for him to ask.

He asks it, “Do you want one?”

The angel turns to look at him and the sandwich he’s holdin’ out. Then it just keeps lookin’, so he repeats himself, and then he starts to feel like maybe he’s askin’ a dumb question, so he starts rambling. “I mean, uh, I guess I don’t know if you eat, really. But I thought’cha did, or, I mean, thought angels did, you know? In the bible. The Old Testament part. At Sodom, I think? Or Gomorrah. One of ‘em. Or maybe that was God. Or maybe I’m just remembrin’ the whole thing wrong,” he mutters, huffing a quiet laugh that he hopes doesn’t sound too nervous.

The angel blinks, finally, real slow, and then holds it’s hand out. TJ puts the sandwich in it, relieved, then turns back ‘round to make one for himself. “YOU ARE NOT REMEMBERING WRONG,” the angel says, slow and quiet, the way you talk when you’re bein’ gentle. “IT HAS BEEN MANY CENTURIES SINCE A HUMAN LAST OFFERED ME FOOD.”

“Oh,” TJ says, turnin’ back to the angel as he finishes spreading jelly and slaps his two pieces of bread together. The angel’s still holdin’ its sandwich, just starin’ at it like it’s made of gold or some other precious thing. TJ feels like maybe he did something wrong, except he’s pretty sure the opposite’s true, and he doesn’t know why anyone would look at PB&J he made on wonder bread the way the angel’s lookin’ at it. He kinda can’t stand it, so he shoves his own sandwich in his mouth so he’s talkin’ with his mouth full when he says, “Ya gotta bite it, ya know.”

The angel laughs, just a small laugh, but TJ didn’t know angels could laugh at all. The sound makes his bones feel ‘bout as sturdy as the jelly in his sandwich. He leans against the counter. The angel finally takes a bite, and it closes its eyes again, the way you do when you’re eatin’ somethin’ real good and all you wanna focus on is tastin’ it. It’s ridiculous. It chews real slow, swallows, and says “THANK YOU” in that same quiet voice.

“Don’t mention it, uh-” TJ says, and then realizes suddenly he doesn’t even know what to call it. Ma really would cuff his ear if she could see how bad his manners have slipped. He pushes that thought away.

“You got a name?” he asks the angel. It sorta smirks at him, and he doesn’t get why ‘till the angel opens its mouth and makes a sound it shouldn’t be able to make with a human’s mouth, one that sounds the way honey tastes. “Right,” TJ says, noddin’. Angel will have to do.

He watches the angel eat the rest of its sandwich in those same slow, savorin’ bites. Makes himself another and wolfs it down before the angel’s half done and hopes that’s not rude of him, but he really is hungry. It looks so happy eating that he makes himself wait ‘till its finished the whole thing and licked the stray smears of jelly off its fingers before he lets himself say, “I didn’t know you could do that, ya know, make yourself look different,” with a wave at its body.

The angel looks down at itself. “YES,” it explains, “I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE I APPEARED TO YOU. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WOULD NOT YET BE READY TO BEAR WITNESS TO A TRUE ANGELIC FORM. MY APOLOGIES.”

TJ sniffs, remembers the copper tang of blood in his nose, says, “No harm done.” Then he thinks for a minute about the parts of what the angel just said that weren’t an apology and says, “Wait, what do you mean I’m not ready yet?”

The angel snaps its head up and TJ’s heart sinks. This is the question the angel’s been waitin’ for him to ask. He’s not real sure he wants the answer.

“AS YOU GROW INTO YOUR ROLE AS PROPHET,” it answers, “YOUR MIND WILL EXPAND. YOU WILL BECOME CAPABLE OF PERCIEVING MUCH MORE OF THE TRUE NATURE OF THINGS. AREADY YOU CAN SEE MORE THAN THE AVERAGE HUMAN. ONE LOOK AT MY ANGELIC FORM WOULD HAVE KILLED MOST OF THEM.”

“Oh,” TJ says, ‘cuz he’s not real sure what else to say. And then, “Sorry, uh, my role as – did you say prophet?”

“YES. CONGRATULATIONS.”

TJ lets himself slide slowly down the kitchen cabinets behind him, sinkin’ to the floor. He puts his head between his knees and breathes. Tries his best to count sevens while he does.

He feels the angel’s hand light on his back, its fingertips ghostin’ over him through his t-shirt. “ARE YOU HURT?” it asks, and all TJ can do is shake his head.

TJ doesn’t know how to turn down bein’ a prophet. He’s pretty sure he remembers at least one of ‘em tryin’, in the bible, but it didn’t do ‘em much good, in the end.

He thinks he mighta freaked Angel out, just a bit, ‘cuz it didn’t really say much else about the whole prophet thing, just kept a hand on his back ‘till he got his panicked breaths evened back out to a normal rhythm, then took his hand and guided him back upstairs to his room. It tucked him into bed like a kid, but he didn’t really mind. It was kinda nice, feelin’ like somebody was lookin’ after him again.

It’s less nice now, with the angel just hoverin’ over him while he’s tryin’ to fall asleep. He’s got as many questions for it as it has eyes in it’s true form. He thought it might have somethin’ better to do than watch him sleep, but it seems content to just stand next to his bed and keep those brown eyes fixed on him.

He sighs and cracks one of his own eyes open to look at it. It shoots him a small smile. He gives in. “Do you sleep?”

The angel looks surprised. “I DO NOT THINK SO. I HAVE NEVER TRIED.”

“Try now,” TJ suggests, scootin’ over to one edge of the bed. “It’s too weird, tryin’ to sleep with you standin’ there and starin’.”

“OH,” the angel says, and starts to reach for the bed before it hesitates, like it’s not sure TJ really meant what he said. He sighs and pulls the covers back, pats the mattress.

The angel gets into bed slowly and settles on its back, eyes still wide open, limbs stiff at its side. It’s kinda unsettlin’, like that. Looks like a corpse. TJ pokes it in the arm.

Touching its bare skin gives him a little static shock, but in a nice way. It turns its head to look at him, and TJ realizes that it’s very close to him again. He swallows. “C’mon then,” he says, “Get comfortable.”

The angel’s brow furrows as it studies him, like it’s not really sure what he means, and TJ feels kinda sad for it. Finally, it nods and rolls over so it’s lyin’ on its stomach, turnin’ its head again so it keeps lookin’ at TJ. And then it reaches out the arm closest to him and takes one of TJ’s hands in its own. His breath stutters.

“I FEEL COMFORTABLE KNOWING YOU ARE SAFE,” the angel says, and then it closes its eyes. TJ really thought he was gonna have to tell it to do that part, what with all the unbroken eye contact and refusing to blink. He gently rubs the back of the angel’s hand with his thumb and it does something he wants to call purring, even though it’s not a cat. TJ nestles down in his blankets and falls into an easier sleep than he’s had in months..

Dad’s already gone when he wakes up, and the angel’s still there, layin’ right where he left it like it hasn’t so much as twitched all night. TJ swears when he gets a look at his clock, manages to catch himself in time to switch from “Goddamnit” to “shit,” though. Then he hauls his ass outta bed and digs around his dresser for a t-shirt without anything too stupid written on it.

“I gotta go to work,” he tells the angel, as it watches him get dressed. He thinks about tellin’ it to turn around, but he’s pretty sure that just ‘cuz he can’t see any eyes in the back of its head don’t mean they’re not there, and he hasn’t got anything it hasn’t already seen a billion times before, if it’s been watching over humanity since the beginning of creation or whatever.

“OK,” is all the angel says.

TJ glances up at it as he ties his shoe. “So, are you just gonna hang out in my bedroom all day or…?”

The angel does another one of its quiet laughs and then says, “NO. I WILL GO WHERE YOU GO.”

Grover gives the angel a funny look when it shows up with TJ, but he doesn’t say anything. Grover’s never cared too much what TJ does while he minds the roadside stand the old man sells his vegetables out of, as long as he’s polite to everybody who comes by. He’s pretty sure Grover doesn’t even make a profit with the thing, or need to, just has it ‘cuz he doesn’t know what else to do with all the tomatoes and squash he grows. He’s also pretty sure Grover only offered to give him a few bucks an hour to keep an eye on it so he could keep an eye on TJ, at least a little bit. He always liked Ma a lot, definitely enough to try watchin’ out for her son after she couldn’t anymore, but TJ tries not to let himself think about that too much.

The angel wanders around for a while, pickin’ up all the tomatoes that have gone just past the right side of ripe, and when it sets them back down they look perfect again, so TJ doesn’t have to go around chuckin’ any of ‘em over the fence. Since he didn’t have time for breakfast, TJ picks out a watermelon and busts it open on the corner of one of the wooden tables.

“C’mere,” he calls to the angel, and it does, quick and curious. TJ scoops the heart outta the melon and offers it. “Try this.”

The angel does, and its eyes go even wider than they already are and it sucks the juice off its own fingers. It plops down in the dirt with him and they scoop the rest of the melon outta the rind with their hands.

TJ thinks he should feel weirder about watchin’ an angel dribble watermelon juice down its chin and onto its shirt, but he doesn’t. It just feels nice, to sit here with someone. Everyone looks at him different, since Ma, it’s like they can’t really see him, behind this big-awful thing that happened to him. He can’t say he doesn’t feel seen by the angel.

But he knows it can’t last. Grover’s out in the fields, ridin’ around on his tractor, and no one ever comes by this early, so TJ feels safe enough to pull out a cigarette and take a few drags, get himself steadied. He offers it to the angel, half ‘cuz not sharin’ feels rude and half just to see what it’ll say.

It just shakes its head, but TJ raises an eyebrow and says, “What, you gonna tell me angels can get cancer?”

The angel glares at him, but there’s no heat in it. “I DO NOT WANT TO SET A BAD EXAMPLE.”

TJ snorts. “A bad example for who? Me? Don’t’cha think it’s kinda late for that? I’m already smokin’ ‘em.” The angel still hesitates, but TJ can see the curiosity on its face. He grins, “I know you’re wonderin’ what they’re like.”

The angel shakes its head even as it’s reachin’ out to take the smoke from TJ’s hand. “WONDER CAN BE A DANGEROUS THING.”

TJ laughs. The angel puts the cigarette up to its mouth and breathes in. It hasn’t really got the hang of it, keeps its mouth too open, but it coughs anyway, and TJ laughs again and claps it on the back.

“I PREFER THE WATERMELON,” the angel says as it hands his cigarette back, so TJ reaches up and swipes a peach off the table they’re leanin’ against.

“Here,” he says. “You’ll like this better. ‘S lot closer to the watermelon. Promise.”

The angel takes the peach and TJ lets himself watch it enjoy the first few bites before he takes a deep breath and makes himself say “So, about this whole prophet thing.”

He can’t look at the angel straight on while he’s sayin’ it, ‘cuz he’s a coward, but he still sees it straighten up in the corner of his eye. Sittin’ at attention. Didn’t it say somethin’ yesterday, about bein’ a soldier of heaven?

He keeps his eyes fixed on the orange tip of his cigarette as he talks. “Thing is, my Ma made sure I knew my way ‘round a bible before she…” he swallows, gives his cigarette a bitter smile before he keeps talking. “Well, I’m sure you know, you said you been watchin’. ‘S what you do, right? Hang around prophets before they become prophets.”

The angel nods in his periphery. He wants to ask it how long it’s been watching him, how many others came before him, if it likes what it does, if it even has a choice in somethin’ like that. Instead he shakes his head, makes himself focus.

“Point is,” he forges on “I read ‘bout the prophets. And bein’ one? Well, it kinda sounds like a shit gig.”

The angel doesn’t say anything, so TJ keeps talking. “I mean, I can’t remember anythin’ good ever happenin’ to any of ‘em. They’re always watchin’ their city get burned down, and everybody they know get tortured, and gettin’ treated like a loon ‘cuz the Lord’s got ‘em runnin’ ‘rond lightin’ their own hair on fire and shit.”

His voice is shaking now, in fear or anger or both, and the angel still doesn’t seem like it’s got anything to say. He turns on it.

“And here’s the thing about all that. I don’t got a city for y’all to burn, and I already watched the person I loved best die, slow and awful with her lungs full o’ tar, so nobody here would be surprised if I went loony. Sometimes I think they’re all just waitin’ ‘round for it to happen, so none of ‘em would listen to single goddamned word I had to say, even if it was prophecy from on high.”

His face is warm and wet. He wonders if he’s bleedin’ again, but when the angel reaches out and brushes his cheek there’s no red on its fingers. It’s just tears. He flinches back from it. And it looks sad.

“What?” he asks it. “Aren’t’cha s’possed to be down here convincin’ me or somethin’? Where’s that grand speech o’ yours? You ain’t got anythin’ else to say to me ‘bout destiny and plans o’ higher powers and shit that’s more important than lil ol’ me?”

“YOU ARE IMPORTANT, TJ.”

He laughs, and it comes out wet-sounding. “Yeah? Well maybe I don’t wanna be. Why’re you here now? Why not six months ago? You could’a saved her. Don’t tell me you couldn’t’ve. Why wasn’t she important enough to save? She prayed for it. Hell, I prayed for it. Every night. And nobody answered. She fought right up ‘til the very end. ‘Til your stupid god let her die. Took her.”

His whole body’s shaking now and he has to stop talkin’ ‘cuz he’s chokin’ on sobs. The angel’s looking at him with those big eyes, sad and somethin’ else too. It’s not pity. He almost thinks it’s understanding.

“WHY DID YOU STOP SWIMMING, TJ?” it asks. And that brings him up short.

“What?” he manages through his tears.

“YOU FELL INTO THE RIVER YESTERDAY. YOU DID NOT JUMP. BUT UNDER THE WATER, YOU STOPPED SWIMMING AND LET THE CURRENT TAKE YOU. YOU STOPPED FIGHTING.”

TJ stares at it. He remembers the cold rush of the water all around him. The way his clothes pulled him down, like all the metaphorical weight around his neck suddenly made physical. He remembers the moment he wondered what would happen if he just gave up, let himself be too tired to keep trying to push his head above the surface. When he let go.

The angel’s the one who looks away for once, like whatever’s on his face is too much for even it. It turns its half-eaten peach over in its hands.

“IT IS IN THE MOMENT WHEN YOU STUMBLE, WHEN YOU CAN NO LONGER WALK, WHEN YOU LAY DOWN READY TO DIE, THAT THE LORD OFFERS TO CARRY YOU.”

TJ doesn’t even think he feels angry anymore. Just hollow, and tired, and bitter, and oh, he guesses, actually still a little bit angry. He spits in the dirt.

“Well, what happens if I decide I can walk just fine after all? You gonna toss me back in the river where you found me?”

“I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.”

“What happens if I say no? ‘Cuz I’m sayin’ no. D’you just fuck off back to heaven now?”

The angel frowns at him. “YOU WILL NOT SAY NO.”

TJ stiffens. “I know you said somethin’ yesterday about this bein’ a choice so-”

“IT IS A CHOICE,” the angel interrupts, “I WILL STAY ON EARTH WITH YOU AND WAIT UNTIL YOU CHOOSE TO ANSWER YOUR CALLING, BUT YOU WILL CHOOSE TO ANSWER IT.” It sounds almost sad, when it says, “THEY ALWAYS DO.”

TJ doesn’t have anythin’ to say to that, just spits in the dirt again.

TJ hates the idea of thinkin’ anything good coulda come outta what happened to Ma, but he has noticed that most o’ the kids who used to pick on him at school have slacked off. Nobody’s heartless enough to shove around the kid whose mom got lung cancer, even if he is queer and bad at pretending not to be. Well, almost nobody.

TJ lets himself swear good and hard when he sees David comin’ up the dirt road towards ‘em. It’s dusk and they’re halfway home, him and the angel, and he knows he’s faster than David, could probably go across the field and up Ms. Feldman’s fence and loop around the back way and make it, but he doesn’t know if the angel’s gonna slow him down. Its human body isn’t what he’d call athletic-lookin’.

David smiles at him, big and wide and mean, and TJ decides they’re just gonna have to take their chances runnin’, grabs the angel’s hand and starts to pull it outta the road, but it doesn’t budge. TJ looks back at it.

It’s standin’ there starin’ David down. “YOU FEAR THIS BOY,” the angel says.

It’s not a question but TJ answers anyway. “Well, yeah, he’ll do his best to beat the shit outta us if he catches us. So let’s not get caught.” He tugs on the angel’s hand again. “C’mon.”

The angel looks at him and then it lifts its free hand up to his face, brushes its fingertips gently along his cheek. He holds his breath.

“BE NOT AFRAID,” it tells him. Then it lets go and steps forward, towards David.

And then it explodes.

Maybe bursts is a better word. It comes outta its human skin in flash of heat and light. It’s a pillar of fire and TJ can taste ash. Its thousand eyes are back and each one is a million swirling shades of brown, like churning earth, and looking into them feels like falling. The air around the angel is electric and there’s lightning dancing over TJ’s skin. TJ thinks this is not just an angel, this is an avenging angel. And this is the most terrible thing I have ever seen. And also the most beautiful.

And then it’s over. Just as sudden as it expanded, the angel shrinks back into a boy’s shape at TJ’s side.

TJ’s brain doesn’t feel quite so liquefied this time. More like it’s turned the consistency of silly putty and its bein’ stretched out. It doesn’t hurt, though. And TJ realizes he could keep lookin’ at the angel. That his brain, or maybe its his soul, could keep stretchin’ to make this glimpse of the infinite fit. That this is what’s bein’ offered to him. That if he stops fightin’ it, stops tryin’ to live his life his own way, gives in to this calling, he gets to see this. He gets to see more. Not just a split second’s glimpse of one angel, but whole visions of Truths. Revelations. He can taste them on his tongue and his mouth is watering.

The angel’s lookin’ at him, it’s eyes just the one shade of brown again, and it looks sorta resigned, like it knows what hit’s comin’ and it’s just waitin’ for the blow to land.

TJ touches his own face, under his nose, checks for blood. There isn’t any.

“He still alive?” TJ asks, jerking his chin at David where he’s lying in the road, curled on his side like a baby in a womb.

The angel looks surprised. TJ knows this isn’t what it expected him to say.

“YES.”

“He gonna be okay?”

“THAT DEPENDS ON THE DEFINITION OF ‘OKAY.’”

TJ rolls his eyes. “Are you even allowed to do stuff like that?”

“NOT EXACTLY.”

TJ frowns. “Are you gonna get in trouble?”

“NOT RIGHT NOW.”

“Right. I guess we should drag him outta the road, at least.” He starts toward David, but the angel flaps its hand abruptly, and David vanishes. TJ makes a stuttering noise.

“I SENT HIM TO HIS HOME,” the angel explains.

TJ huffs. “Well, if you can teleport people then why the hell are we walkin’ home?”

The angel makes a noise somewhere between distress and desperation. It’s starin’ at TJ with its big eyes full of confusion and disbelief and maybe hope. He’s gone off script.

TJ understands now, why the angel was so certain he’d say yes to bein’ a prophet. He can feel a pull in the back of his brain, the tips of his fingers, the soles of his feet. He can feel how easy it would be. How enlightening. He could stop worryin’ ‘bout how late Dad gets home every night and how even though he doesn’t get pushed around much anymore he’s still only got the two friends and Armani can’t even look at him without pity on her face anymore and how he’s gonna get lung cancer and go in an awful way just like Ma but he can’t quit smokin’ ‘cuz the smell reminds him of her. He could stop missing her. He could let himself be emptied of all that, become a vessel for knowledge of things so bright they burn. Fulfilled. And it would be so easy. So much easier than living his own life.

TJ knows all that, and he also knows Ma never backed down from a challenge. Knows she said the right thing to do is almost always the harder thing to do.

He knows the angel said it could stick around ‘til he caves.

TJ smiles at the angel. It’s a tired smile, but it’s real.

The angel stares at him for a long moment. And then, slow and careful, it smiles back.

#writing #writers on tumblr #original fiction #fantasy #angels #short story #origina work #original characters #prophets

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lgbtyrus · 4 years ago

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Definitely

A Tarty fanfic? In October of 2020? You bet!!! This is a gift for @delicatesleeper who deserves the world’s most patient person award <3 Enjoy!

Words: 3068

High school was fun because you saw a lot of different things. Kids chanting Lick it! Lick it! to another kid going to lick a weird stain in the science building. An artsy kid having a break down in the middle of math. TJ Kippen fighting another boy in the locker room.

“TJ is fighting Carson!” Marty’s best friend, Tony, announced to him in one corner of the locker room. There was dozens of voices echoing throughout the stuffy place, and Marty could feel his heart slam against his chest every step he took towards the scene. But by the time he got there, their PE teacher had already separated the two. TJ seemed to get in a good hit as Carson hid his blood nose under his arm, not realizing blood was already dripping down at his chin.

“What in the fucking hell were you two thinking?!” their PE teacher’s voice boomed over them. “You’re both going to get kicked off the basketball team.”

“He started it!” TJ yelled, looking furious. His face was read. Marty didn’t know TJ that well, but he knew he wasn’t violent. Sure, he had a temper. But dating Cyrus Goodman for a while had to have done something good to him. Then again, break ups completely reprogram a person. Marty would know. He’s been through five.

Marty was sitting in detention, leaning back on his chair, balancing a pencil on his nose. It was him and the other kids who were regularly in there. Marty tried not to get detention so much he got kicked off the track team, but he also didn’t like doing his homework.

The teacher who looked over detention wasn’t in the classroom yet, so everyone in there was just talking and scrolling through their phones. They only looked up when someone came in, but it was usually someone they all recognized or knew pretty well.

Then TJ Kippen walked in and the pencil fell into his hand. Marty watched him walk inside the badly lit classroom, look around, and sit in the desk next to him before realizing he hadn’t stopped staring. TJ raised an eyebrow at him, making Marty panic and look away, pretending his pencil was the most interesting thing. He felt like if slightly turning his head would kill him.

Mr. Rosas walked in, whistling with a book and paper under his arm like usual. “Alright, people. Phones away. You can take them out after thirty minutes of homework.” He went to the front and put his book at the empty desk for whoever was overlooking detention. The room was in a trailer lot in the corner of their school, and it was hard to find if you never got in trouble. Mr. Rosas started reading the names of the roster, some kids saying here, some kids being recognized by him.

“TJ Kippen?” Mr. Rosas looked up. Marty turned his head and saw that TJ raised his hand. He had a heavy frown on his lips. “Aren’t you in basketball?”

“Not anymore.” TJ sighed, leaning back into his chair.

“Oh. You’re one of those two basketball players from today, no?” Mr. Rosas asked him. TJ nodded, looking embarrassed that everyone knew. Marty had been hearing everyone talking about TJ and Carson all day long, and it was making him really curious to know what happened. Nobody knows what happened. The two went inside the locker rooms laughing and then TJ threw the first hit.

Mr. Rosas finished taking attendance, and Marty realized that Carson wasn’t there. That usually meant an extra two days of detention. Marty forced himself to stop thinking about TJ and Carson and pulled out his algebra homework. Some kids were chatting with their work out on their desks, and Mr. Rosas didn’t seem to mind. He was in a good mood that day which basically meant they could do whatever they wanted. He said he always had a soft spot for misfits because he basically lived in detention in high school but had a good director that helped him get into college.

“Hey, Marty,” someone called out. Marty turned around the room, looking for the voice. “Right here, dude.” Marty made eye contact with TJ who was holding up a piece of paper. It was their homework. “Can you show me how to do four?” Marty looked at him, in shock for a bit. “Your name is Marty, right?”

“Um, yeah,” Marty said. He cleared his throat and looked down at his homework, trying to remember his steps while a storm brewed in his brain. “I dated Buffy freshman year.” Really? That’s what you say? Dumbass.

“I know who you are.” TJ told him. Marty didn’t know how to reprogram himself to work, but he cleared his throat again and held up his math sheet to him.

“Let me walk you through it.”

TJ only needed help on two other problems after that, and Marty gladly helped him even when he was done with his homework. His moms had gotten mad at him for not taking AP classes, but he didn’t like to be challenged in academics. They weren’t interesting enough.

Mr. Rosas stood up and shut his book. “All right everyone, you’re dismissed for the day. Don’t come back.” Without hesitation, everyone scrambled out of their seats and made their way out of the classroom in a line. Marty’s track practice started at 4:30 because his coach knew a lot of the kids on the team had a knack for getting kept for detention or they had other clubs besides sports. Marty just had detention.

He made his way towards the locker rooms by the gym and track field, and after walking for a moment, he noticed TJ was right behind him. Marty decided against walking faster and instead met up with TJ who gave him a head nod in acknowledgment. “Where are you of to?” Marty asked him.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never left school this early.”

“You should go to Rita Donuts. She has student discounts on Wednesdays.”

“Good to know.”

“So,” Marty said. He cleared his throat. He didn’t know how else to keep the conversation going. “What happened in the locker room.”

“What have you heard?” TJ asked him.

“Honestly, everything.” Marty crossed his arms, walking a little closer to TJ who was now heading towards the school gates, opposite of the locker rooms. Instead of saying anything, Marty continued to walk besides him.

“He said something homophobic. I punched him. That’s that.” Marty couldn’t figure TJ out. He was stoic and saying everything like he hadn’t just gotten kicked off the basketball team- the one he was captain of as a junior.

“What?” Marty asked. He had heard many things except that. Something like that wasn’t even a possibility at their high school. “And you’re both off the team?”

“He’s suspended and maybe expelled. I just got off the team because of the no tolerance policy. They said they’ll make sure I can play next year, though.”

“Well, I guess that’s kind of good?” Marty said, still not understanding how the school worked.

“Yeah. Honestly, it’s fine,” TJ admitted to him. “I can focus on actually getting good grades for now. I’m scared I’m not going to pass algebra.”

“I can tutor you,” Marty said without second thought.

“Really?” TJ smiled at him. Marty blushed crimson and nodded dumbfoundedly. “Thanks. I have you on Snapchat, no?”

“Yeah,” Marty nodded again. He couldn’t say much of anything else. He wasn’t even that good at math.

“Cool. I’ll hit you up,” TJ told him.

“Yeah,” Marty said. He looked at the time on his phone. “I’m gonna head to practice now. See you.”

“Later.” Marty smiled at him once more and ran towards the gym with his heart slamming against him like he wasn’t a trained runner. Math just got interesting.

Marty didn’t know what he was doing, why he was nervous, or why he even had a brain if it wasn’t going to work and save him from humiliating situations. TJ was going over to his house on Saturday to get help for their test on Monday, and Marty wasn’t exactly a wizard. He got in his shower after his six mile run from that morning and dressed in eight different things until deciding to wear a track shirt and jeans.

He didn’t have time to do his hair when his mom called from downstairs that TJ was there. He slid across the second floor in his socks and ran downstairs, TJ waiting for him at the door. He was smiling and talking to his mom, wearing a plain white shirt, basketball shorts, and slides. Marty definitely felt overdressed.

“Hey,” Marty waved at him.

“Hey,” TJ said, bringing his backpack higher on his shoulder.

“You can wait in the dining room,” Marty said, pointing at the entryway. “I need to get my backpack.” TJ gave him a thumbs up and walked over as Marty ran back upstairs, his heartrate a complete mess even when he ran back down.

“Do you run everywhere?” TJ asked him when he sat down in the chair next to him. Marty nodded, taking in counted breaths.

“It’s faster. You should try it.”

“Maybe when I’m back in shape.”

Marty stifled a full laugh. “You’ve only been out of basketball for like four days.”

“I breathe hard when I go up the stairs now. Four days was all I needed.”

“I run at least six miles every.”

“You’re addicted to track.”

“Sounds about right,” Marty smiled. He took out his binder and homework.

He didn’t know how he did it, but he got TJ through the course work and got him ready for the test. Marty had never studied that much on his own before since math was just a regular subject to him. Studying with TJ was fun, though. Whenever he tried to study with Tony, they ended up messing around and playing video games because they got bored.

But everything about TJ kept him grounded, like he was scared he would miss years of his life if he looked away for even just a second. It was too much for Marty to try to process sometimes, and he often tried to rub the heat away from his cheeks.

Marty and TJ hung out more outside of tutoring. TJ had a lot of time on his hands, and his friends were still going to basketball games so Marty would invite him to hang out with Tony and a few other boys. Tony raised his eyebrow one time when Marty was sad TJ wouldn’t make it to bowling, but when Marty asked him what, Tony just laughed and shook his head. That’s how Marty knew he was fucked.

TJ was in that stage months post breakup where he wasn’t gloomy about it anymore and he was back to functioning like normal again, but you could tell he had put a barrier up. There were times when TJ would almost talk about his home life or his family or even how he felt about certain things, but there always something blocking him. Like if he remembered he would only talk about those certain things to a certain someone who broke his heart.

Marty approached TJ with as much caution as much as he threw himself at him. He felt delusional and crazy, but there were times he felt like TJ was starting to like him, too. The proximity in which they would walk side by side seemed to close in even closer every week, and Marty wasn’t the one inching next to him. But even though they were becoming good friends, Marty knew there was going to be a lot more walls to break down.

One day at the park, Marty broke down the first obstacle and asked TJ why him and Cyrus had broken up. “We just didn’t click anymore,” TJ said. “He broke up with me, and I just said ok.” Marty watched TJ fiddle with the basketball in his hand for a moment, about to speak up before TJ started talking again. “I wish I would’ve asked him to stay, though. But… I could tell that he just didn’t want me anymore.” Marty didn’t know what to do with that, so he just patted TJ on the back.

“Sorry, bud.”

“That’s just the way it is.” TJ threw the ball at Marty, and they got up for another game. The entire time Marty wondered if TJ would go back to Cyrus if he could.

Marty figured he had nothing to lose and asked, “Are you over him?” In that moment, TJ stood still with the basketball in his hands. He stared at Marty, making his breath hitch for a second as those green eyes looked for something. “Yeah. I basically am.”

Basically. Basically am. What does that mean? Marty asked himself that over and over that night, and it was starting to drive him insane. So much, he just gave in and called Tony at one in the morning.

Tony was half-asleep when he answered. “Hello?”

“Okay,” Marty jumped right into it, “you know how I like TJ right?” There was a few seconds of silence.

“Yes.”

“So, I asked him if he was over Cyrus, and he said he basically was. What does basically mean? Like he doesn’t want to say he is because he’s lying or he is in the process of fully forgetting him?”

“Um.” Tony yawned into the mic, hurting Marty’s ear with the buzz. “Both?”

“Tony that’s not helping.”

“Dude just tell him you like him.”

“I can’t do that.” Marty’s head was filling with air at just the thought of doing that. “It’d just ruin our friendship.”

“Hmm, I don’t know, man.” Marty knew that tone.

“What do you know?”

“What do you mean?” Tony repeated back. He was cornered.

“What are you keeping from me?”

“Nothing,” Tony’s voice got louder which meant he was lying.

“Just tell me and you can go to sleep.” Marty heard Tony sigh. It didn’t take that long to get him to crack. “He told one of the guys who told me that he thinks you’re… cute.”

“Cute?” Marty didn’t know what to do with the information.

“Yeah. Goodnight.” Marty didn’t even get to say it back as Tony hung up, leaving Marty with the most explosive words he could’ve left him with.

TJ always asked Marty to hang out before he had gotten the cute bomb dropped on him, so Marty told himself not to act any different or to pick apart every little thing TJ did like a fetal pig. Doing so was starting to give him a heartache. But when him and TJ were doing homework in Marty’s kitchen, there was just too much gut to not pick at.

TJ had lightly bumped his foot into Marty’s and then just kept it there. He told Marty he had nice handwriting (a lot of people told him that, though). He told Marty his hair looked nice, and Marty didn’t know how to react so he just ran his fingers through his hair and accidentally ruined it so TJ could jokingly say never mind. And at one point, TJ took the ring he had on his hand and slipped it on Marty’s finger, his race redder than it had ever been. TJ noticed it.

“Why is your face so red?” TJ asked, still holding Marty’s hand on the table. Marty looked between TJ’s face that held a sneaky smile and their fingers that were grazing on each other.

Marty hid his face with his free hand and said, “I think it’s just allergies.” Dumbass! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb boy. Allergies?!

TJ chuckled and pulled his hand back slightly. “I didn’t know allergies did that.”

“Yeah,” Marty tapped his ringed hand on the table. “My moms say the doctors don’t know what to do with me.”

TJ looked Marty in the eye as he whispered, “I don’t know what to do, either.” Marty looked at TJ with his eyebrow raised. It was his turn to make him spazz out.

“Are you trying to kill me?”

TJ raised an eyebrow, a smile twitching on his face. “What kind of doctors are you doing to?”

“I think they’re vampires. It works out so I don’t have to miss track practice during the day.” TJ rolled his eyes but not in a rude way. In a you’re not that funny way. But he was still smiling warmly. Marty looked at TJ, realizing how close he had him and how his green eyes were just diamonds on his face. His face was full of sharp features, and he wanted to run his finger on all of them. He reached out and touched TJ’s hand again, making him look at him with wide eyes. Marty was about to retreat his hand, when TJ grasped it, fully holding it and tapping on of his fingers on his ring.

“Do you like me?” TJ asked him. Okay so this is happening now!

“What do you think?” Marty said, showing him their hands. TJ laughed a little.

“I think you do,” TJ said quietly, looking at him with a small smile.

“I know you think I’m cute,” Marty couldn’t help but say. “A little birdy told me.”

TJ had a victorious look on his face. “I knew those two would snitch. I planned it out like that.”

“What?” Marty asked. “You told someone you thought I was cute so that they would tell Tony to tell me?” They both laughed after Marty tried to piece it together in the air.

“I don’t know how Tony got involved, but yeah. Something like that.”

“Why not just tell me?”

“Just in case you didn’t like me.” TJ shrugged. “Can’t really know if someone really wants you despite their words and actions that say they do.” Marty’s heart seemed to sigh as he realized what TJ was talking about. Marty stood up and go closer to TJ, leaning down to kiss him. TJ kissed him back, his hand squeezing his harder.

Marty pulled away and pressed his forehead against TJ’s, their eyes in each other’s worlds. “Well I definitely like you. A lot. And if you’re willing to, I’d like to take you out sometime.” TJ gave him a small kiss.

“I’d like that.”

#shoosh star #stars writing #andi mack #tarty #tj kippen #Marty from the party

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calypsoff · 4 years ago

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Twenty Five.

I think I am having the worst nights sleep, worst then Robyn not being around. She might as well not be around because like, the fuck. There is nothing there, I mean there is but maybe it’s me, I need to do more. She doesn’t understand how hard it is, I mean literally my dick is so hard right now in bed with her. Lifting my head up looking down at Robyn asleep with her bonnet on, taking in a deep breath. Pressing a kiss to her cheek and moved back away from her slowly, being big spoon with a hard dick is hard. I feel like Robyn is purposely trying to not wear anything too sexy so I can’t be hard for her, but I am still hard. It seems like Robyn is having the best sleep, meanwhile I am hating it all. I even purposely slept naked and she didn’t care, grabbing my tee from the floor in a huff. This can’t happen, third day in Virginia and no sex, maybe I need to push for it. I need to do more for her, I need to be romantic, I think yes. That is what I need to do, I need to be romantic towards her, I haven’t been that. Getting up from the bed, it’s like seven in the morning. I struggle to sleep so much, I can’t sleep for shit because my dick be having a mind of its own, at one point I was even having a wet dream, nearly got caught slipping there but it needs to happen. I am going to try the romantic thing; I am really unsure if it’s me or Robyn sometimes but if this doesn’t work then we going to have some real ass problems and I don’t want that for us. I love Robyn too much for that, I adore her with my whole heart. It’s not about sex, it’s not because if it was then I would be gone a while ago, but it needs to happen because she can do it. if it was an issue where she really can’t, I would understand.

Staring at Robyn’ hazel eyes just twinkling in the sun that is shining down into the hotel room, even without makeup. I say this a lot to myself but without makeup, Robyn is ever so beautiful, and I cannot fault that. Looking away from Robyn as she turned away from the window and grabbed her drink, I pretended I was staring at my hand. I looked back at Robyn as she went back to staring out of the window, I grinned at the fact she is really my childhood sweetheart. She just so happens to be famous, but she is “you’re quiet” she caught me, she caught my eyes staring at her “just admiring you, you have such beautiful eyes. It was nice to watch” Robyn pulled a face while touching her bonnet “even with my bonnet on?” nodding my head “I am just thinking, I have been thinking a lot you know. But just thinking that you are really my childhood sweetheart. It’s kind of goofy but yeah” Robyn scrunched up her nose, she is getting shy “I have missed you a lot, it’s nice to just spend time with you and your family. Your dad is funny, it’s nice to see a father here. I think I like it the most how he babies you and you hate it” rolling my eyes “he dumb, like he don’t need to be pinching my cheeks like I am a child, but yeah. We are going to the family home today, you good with that?” I asked like I gave her a choice “I am happy with that” I need to prepare this room; it isn’t valentine’s day, but I need to make it happen.

Walking in behind Robyn into my family home “I could get used to this, afternoon!” my mother rushed over “don’t get too used to it, but I need to go and see Barry. Robyn I didn’t mention it but I need to see him, I won’t be long but I need y’all to look after Robyn for me. I mean Rich is here, but I need y’all to be good to her” Robyn is looking at me like don’t leave me “why, where are you going?” she questioned “I am just going to sort some paperwork for him, it will be quick. My mother can show you some things here, I will be back” Robyn nodded her head “ok then” wrapping my arm around Robyn, pressing a kiss to her forehead “baby I will look after you, do not worry. Hurry up though” I grinned turning around to leave, I need to prepare the hotel room and make it the most romantic thing ever, I will do the most because this needs to work. Closing the door behind me and walking down the footpath “nigga!” TJ spat, saluting him. They been waiting for me, Tina is like part of the gang now, but she could come in handy “we are here to help you!” TJ shouted; can he just not shout so much Robyn could hear him. Getting into the car “so mission sexy time is in order” hitting TJ’ arm “shut up and drive!” I spat.

Tina is so good, like I am barely doing anything, she is doing the hotel room her damn self “you think she will like this?” I questioned “oh she will, I mean who wouldn’t. This is like valentine’s day, but every day should be spoil your girlfriend day, Robyn will appreciate this so much” nodding my head, I have literally got all the balloons and roses out and all that fancy shit “Barry, can I speak to you one minute” waving him over, I need to ask him something. Walking off to the living area of the hotel “would you wear a condom?” I asked straight up “I would be shooting my babies up that, I would forever go raw” I feel like Barry has been waiting to say that “wow, relax” I said half shocked “ok, on a real but if you start to put a condom on it’s going to start making shit extra weird and then she may feel a type of way so don’t, unless you don’t want that to happen” rubbing the side of my face “not that I don’t, I just don’t want that to happen to her again. Shit, if getting her pregnant means she won’t go on tour, sign me up but yeah. Cool, I hope it works, I need to be extra romantic. You know I am goofy and shit” I am nervous that if it flops, it will be so awkward “nah, you are doing a lot for her, this will happen. I promise, I get it, but this will work. You love her a lot though. To be doing this for her, like it’s a lot” taking in a deep breath “I do, that is the thing” I mumbled, I love Robyn so much and I Would do anything for her.

I totally feel like a teenager, oh god. This is crazy to me, like I have been thinking of this day, as soon as my dad said I needed to coax her I been thinking, what is better then starting from the beginning. Dragging open the classroom door “Mr Brown, you’re late again” I busted out laughing seeing Miss Polkovita “it is so good to see you Christopher” walking towards her “bring it in” hugging her as I laughed out, I can’t believe it “this is crazy, you still around and the classroom ain’t changed at all. Look at it” I am getting major flashbacks right now “and I am still here teaching, not even you could get me to quit” moving back from the hug “this is the very desk you forced me to sit in” I pointed at the desk “you damn right it is, I was shocked to hear. They told me Christopher wants to do something nice for his girlfriend and his girlfriend is Rihanna. I goes of course I will be here, it’s so good to see you here. I honestly am really happy for you, I am not shocked that you both got together because you were so infatuated by her, you actually started to listen” I snorted laughing “we were best friends first, but I fell, this was the moment you know. But it’s dope that the school let me do this” I hope Robyn likes it.

Locking my phone smiling, Robyn is coming. I hope Tina did blindfold her, I just want to go back to basic with Robyn and I, sometimes I feel like we can trail away from what we were. I just want us to go back to that lust and love we have, I felt like bringing her here would do that. I did a little thing here “you look so nervous Christopher” I chuckled, my teacher is here like she knows me “a little, I love her. Being here has made me feel this way because it’s like stage one, I remember looking behind me and she was there, hair tied back and just so pretty. I just want her to come already” rubbing my chin feeling ever so nervous “my son doesn’t believe me that I taught you and Robyn, wait till I tell him this. But I really saw you both were meant to be, I just saw the announcement and I said ok that was going to happen, just a little too late” the door opened and Rich poked his head around “Tina I don’t like this, I really don’t” that means she wore the blindfold, Tina shuffled in with Robyn “don’t fire me just yet, just stand here for me” clasping my hands together smiling wide “I am going to take it off” Rich said as he took off her blindfold “good afternoon Miss Fenty” Robyn’ eyes widened looking around “oh my god” placing her hands over her mouth “Miss Polkovita, oh my god” Robyn hugged her “what the hell is this, Chris! What a flashback!” I really got Robyn, she is shook and I like that.

Getting up from the seat “you know only the naughty kids sit in the back” we have the classroom all to ourselves, I mean I ain’t going to flat out have sex with her here “well that is a lie, I am a good girl and I got to sit here. This feels so weird, my god. Like this is such a blast from the past” sitting on the edge of the desk facing Robyn “and you would sit right there across from me, and I would say Chris I need to do this wait. Let me finish the note” I grinned nodding my head “and when that dude tried to ask you out like the fuck, man. Nobody was dating you on my watch, you were mine. I was aggy though, I ruined everything for you” biting on my bottom lip “I also found you too skinny” I scoffed moving off the desk “you talk too much, dang. But I was so aggy with you, I ain’t let you do anything. I treated you like you were mine and you weren’t, you could have told me to go away but you didn’t” she could have “mhmmm, in a weird way I liked you” I gasped “weird way, get up. Come, we going somewhere else, let’s walk the halls” I got a little something else for her “how you get this done? I am shocked” I winked “just my secret, come on twin” Robyn got up from the seat giggling, she looks so damn happy and I like that “I love you so much, for doing this. You know it’s not valentines right? That has been” waving her off “every day is love” if this doesn’t get me in her good books, I have lost.

I busted out laughing after the picture was taken “oh wow, the exact spot too. Dang, this is crazy” the principle walked off “I can send the picture to you right now from the camera but yes, we have the old picture of Robyn and you in the hall. We pride ourselves that Rihanna came here, you just so happened to be in that picture, but I can’t wait to update it. Looks like I haven’t updated the school in years” shaking my head “I have always been a spare part huh, dang” Robyn placed her arms around me “stop it, I love you” she kissed my cheek “cool, so you send me that and we will speak soon but come” I am rushing here, I want to get to the hall “Chris, I feel overwhelmed. I am shocked. Where are we going next?” holding onto Robyn’ hand walking out of the room “a little something, like this place comes with good vibes but also I was very heartbroken when you left. I felt like this moment was taken from me because I was so close to just asking you. I was a young nigga in love Robyn, you came from the islands, you weren’t like these girls and I was so close, and you left, I was unfulfilled so badly, so it was taken from me” I know Robyn is confused, but she will understand soon when we reach the destination.

Before we turned the corner I need to ask Robyn this “hold up right, I need to cover your eyes again” Robyn sighed out “it’s nothing stupid is it?” shaking my head “promise, just trust me. I will cover your eyes with my hands” standing behind Robyn “when I say walk, start walking” placing my hands over her eyes “can you see anything?” I questioned “nope” I am super excited “then proceed baby, get walking” Robyn started to walk slowly, and I am here shuffling behind her “turn baby” she is here walking ahead, turning with Robyn “I grinned so wide seeing the school gym, Rich smiled at me shaking his head “are we there yet?” Robyn is asking that, but she is walking ever so slow “just a few more steps, like five more and then stop” Robyn shuffled and then stopped “perfect, so I am going to step back but close your eyes “fine I will” moving my hands back and running to Rich, he held the sign up “open your eyes!” I spat; Robyn has her hand in her hip. Like she is disapproving, she opened her eyes slowly in confusion “wha-?” she paused pointing at Rich “my friend here wants to ask you to the prom?” Rich could be more enthusiastic about this; Robyn placed her hands her mouth laughing “no way!” she spat “do you like it? I made this!” pointing at the sign “Barbadian Cherry will you go to prom with me? You knew about this!?” Robyn pointed at Tina “maybe, a little but answer him” Robyn nodded her head “really?” waving her over “come, we going to prom. Fulfilling something that should have happened for us, don’t cry just yet” holding Robyn’ hand, she is already emotional.

Pushing open the door to the school gym “no way! Chris!” she better like this, I spent the fuck up “I don’t have no dress Chris?” holding onto Robyn’ hands and walked in backwards so I can see Robyn’ reaction, she is so shook “we can both have our prom date, and yeah that” Barry placed the crown on my head and Robyn’ “y’all already prom queen and king, shit if you did come it would be true” Robyn is dead ass crying, she is emotional and that is good because that means I have done good for her “come, let’s have fun prom queen” letting her hands go, Robyn walked into me and hugged me tight “you be doubting me, I doubt me at times but you know I love you big head. Enjoy yourself, and I told Tina to take some pictures, memories for us. My date for prom” I think I have done; I have hit the jackpot with this “let’s dance, hear that? Our song!?” I spat, Robyn laughed “Keeping it real, son, that's right” holding Robyn’ hand to lead her to the floor “The shining star, you're my shining star, girl” I sang pointing at her as Fantasy started playing, Robyn would use this song to make me sing it with her like a fool every time.

Drinking from the bottle “she is coming back but if this doesn’t work, even I am going to cry for you but I think you got her, you got her good” Barry said as he moved away from me, turning around grinning “imagine seeing you here” I leaned against the table “likewise but I wish I looked the part” biting my bottom lip “we have a lifetime to look good, and besides my broke ass wouldn’t be able to get a suit” clearing my throat as Boyz II Men starting playing “would you like to dance?” holding my hand out to her “I would love that” I don’t know this slow dance shit so I am just going to guess it, I feel nervous weird enough. Catching Tina clasping her hands together in awe, I hope I don’t fuck this up but I am feeling hot as fuck. Robyn placed her arms around my neck as I placed hands just on her waist, we swayed slowly to the music “this has to be the best night of my life, you have shocked me so much” Robyn said, smiling at her “I will do anything, girl you need only ask. I'll make love to you, like you want me too. And I'll hold you tight, baby all through the night” I sang to Robyn, pressing a kiss to her cheek and she caught her lips on mine and initiated the kiss with me, I for one wasn’t going to do it but she did it, the kiss was so slow and sensual, a pace I am more then happy with because I have missed Robyn so much.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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smartguyreviewed · 4 years ago

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2x5 - Dumbstruck

Original air date: October 8, 1997

Yay, an episode where TJ is actually acting like a kid! And also an excuse for me to rant about how much I despise group projects.

A very over it Lisa Simpson (played by Yeardley Smith) is handing back tests to her dumb ass students save for TJ and this annoying white kid named Clark that we’ll be introduced to briefly because Mackey ended up being the lead token white on this show, right next to Yvette’s cute friend Nina.

Clark asks how TJ did. He humble brags and Marcus snatches his test to gloat about his brother finally not doing well at something. Sike! TJ got a 110 on his assignment. Marcus is dumbfounded since he clearly doesn’t even put in the bare minimum.

Lisa has to remind Marcus that demonstrating how you actually studied will get you more points. She gives her lazy, remedial students a chance to make up for their piteous attempts with a makeup assignment, an oral group report on WW2. Now everyone is mad at TJ because he fucked up the curve of the grading system, facilitating the need for a makeup assignment. Mackey is pissed.

Marcus and Mo of course decide to stick all the work on TJ while they go to Dawgburger. TJ, now wanting to fit in with his cool brother and bestie, agrees but is promptly thrown into a garbage can by Mackey and his 30 year old goon when they give him shit for being smart. Because the plot calls for it in this episode, TJ isn’t masterminding a plan to put fudged up charges on Mackey’s record or flunk him out of school forever.

At the Henderson crib, TJ is attempting to do the assignment but the boys are watching The Three Stooges with non-copyright stock sound effects and can’t be bothered to lower the volume. Even Floyd stops scolding Marcus and Mo to join them. Apparently, TJ thinks being a genius and being entertained by slapstick are mutually exclusive.

Yvette is in the kitchen frowning at her fruitless yogurt when TJ comes in to whine about feeling left out. Yvette, as usual, is there to provide motherly advice and reassure TJ that he’s too brilliant to relate to simpleton humor. She even suggests that he’ll be the only non crooked black politician on the Supreme Court. Aww. TJ will revenge porn her in the future.

Just then, a truck pulls in with daddy Floyd’s wood--hehe--and the boys, including Mo, gather in the garage to bring in Floyd’s wood--last time, I promise--to wherever it needs to go.

Yvette comes in after the gang delegates how the work flow will commence and then commands the plot for the episode when she tells TJ his shoe is untied while Mo and Marcus are handing boards to each other. This ended well.

After passing out, Marcus, who is terrifyingly not alarmed, just calls for Floyd and then we end up at the hospital where it seems that TJ’s relatively light board smack has now rendered him dumb. Not only dumb but more childish than usual.

Marcus cares nothing about TJ’s prognosis, however, because he is a horny teenage boy and the doc is hot. Yvette has to literally drag him out of the room by his ear.

The doctor tells Floyd that this strange concussion could leave TJ acting like this for weeks. Of course Floyd is concerned since TJ is gifted. The next morning, TJ is so forgetful and delayed at breakfast that Floyd and Yvette have to play charades to help him navigate feeding himself.

Marcus comes in and asks if TJ is back to normal because he doesn’t want to do anything that makes him use his own damn brain for a change. After Flody sees this because Marcus did it right in the kitchen where he was about three feet away, he of course takes Marcus aside to tell him to quit badgering TJ to get well again.

At school, Mo thinks it’s a good idea to simply undo TJ’s problem by hitting him in the head again. Since we’re working off corny sitcom logic, he’s not exactly off base here. I mean, it did only take two light hits from a wooden board to turn TJ into an imbecile so why not do the same to get him back to normal, right?

During class, TJ is wowing everyone with his diminished IQ that was announced to everyone in the class for some reason. Eh, it’s Piedmont so I really shouldn’t be surprised that all of his business is out there.

Lisa is pissed because now that TJ is dumb and she hates Clark for some reason, teaching will be damn near impossible because nobody participates. I think I feel her pain because she asks a super easy question (what naval base did the Japanese attack) and nobody but annoying ass Clark answers. Poor thing. She probably came into this profession bright-eyed and bushy tailed, ready to change students’ lives and become the next Erin Gruwell but ended up becoming nothing more than a de facto babysitter.

TJ is taking advantage of being one of the guys by making fun of the more deadly effects of dropping bombs and says it led to radioactive monsters. The boys laugh but Lisa is aggy that nobody is taking this seriously. To spite her idiot students, she makes the reports worth half of their grade. Mackey blames Clark instead of the teacher who literally just assigned it. For some reason, this tickles Clark even though he’s going to end up in the garbage soon.

Since TJ is one of the guys again, he manages to tag along with the crew at Dawgburger, a place he wasn’t invited to earlier since he was going to do their group assignment all by himself. In hindsight, I hated group projects because I did all of the work anyways since my cohorts were dumb as rock boxes, so this wouldn’t have bothered me at all. Abolish group projects!

Post Dawgburger, TJ is in bed reading a comic and shooting the shit with Marcus. This is sweet. I like seeing siblings bond on TV shows because the regular narrative always seems to involve them all hating each other. Here, there’s no drama, just Marcus actually being responsible because he’s studying for the oral report and TJ, in what would be his natural state if he weren’t a genius. They even have a heart to heart when TJ asks if he’ll be okay and what would happen once he’s back to normal. Marcus says he’ll still stick up for him. Aww.

In geometry the next day, TJ’s intelligence just comes right back after he flawlessly recites the Pythagorean theorem when the dorky teacher asks. Once he realizes this, and after having probably the few easiest days in a while, TJ understandably commits to pretending to be a dolt. That is until pops sees TJ’s quantum physics magazine inside of a comic book!

Floyd traps TJ by making up a pretty damn good scenario in the Jughead comics but later confirms the lie by letting TJ know that wasn’t in the comic. He goes into how he likes being dumb with the guys because they like him more. Makes sense! TJ has nothing in common with them outside of attending their school but now he’s intellectually on their level. He knows this would change once he goes back to his regular self. Floyd should know this too but alas. I do love how he tells TJ he won’t rat on him. TJ returns the favor by telling his dad that he should write for the Jughead comics because that story he made up made him LOL super hard.

We cut to school where Mackey is just finishing up his group presentation about the X-Men invading Iwo Jima. Lisa Simpson isn’t impressed. Marcus and crew are up next and poor Marcus is struggling. I think it’s so funny that Marcus, a singer with a whole ass band, has stage fright upon trying to remember everything he studied for but just goes to show that music comes easier to him than school.

The internal monologues of everyone come up. Marcus is trying to remember what he studied. TJ contemplates bringing his brain back. Mo is...fucking beatboxing in his head. This shit had me dead when I first saw this episode.

However, Lisa ain’t having it. She is two seconds away from using the dreaded red pen before TJ saves the day and begins talking about WW2. The boys are shocked but it helps trigger Marcus’s memory and then he’s able to spew out the facts. Mo doesn’t contribute but he will definitely take the credit!

Later in the Henderson crib, Marcus is pissed because TJ almost let them fail. Although TJ is reminding Marcus that he put his effort into something and it paid off, Marcus is still annoyed leading TJ to think he doesn’t like him anymore.

Marcus explains that he enjoyed TJ’s company when he was dumb because he finally felt like what he is: his older brother. Kind of hard to feel that way when your younger brother is better at everything you do and a major know-it-all. He even admits that he can’t even pretend now that TJ is smart again because it won’t feel the same. I like when Marcus is doing more than chasing girls every episode because he shows maturity at times that is pleasing to watch.

He offers to instead be an older brother in other ways like threatening other people with violence if they make fun of TJ. Cute, but we all know Marcus is scary. Nice gesture though! Floyd comes in and tells the boys good night. At the end, we see Floyd took TJ up on his advice and is submitting an idea to the Jughead comics. Aww Floyd. I wish we’d gotten a subtle nod to if his idea was used because he seemed really happy with himself afterwards. Eh, whatever. Parents aren’t people so who cares.

Things I noticed:

- Clark being oddly satisfied that he knows Mackey and his fellow middle-aged adult friend are going to put him in the trash. Clark either has a crush on Mackey and didn’t like TJ for the attention he got from Mackey or he has some sort of a trash fetish. Or both. Maybe that’s why Lisa doesn’t fuck with him.

- “Okay students, now watch as I turn left to a right triangle.” I’m a dork and this actually made me laugh. Tough classroom, though.

#smart guy #mo tibbs #tahj mowry #yvette henderson #marcus henderson #jason weaver #essence atkins #omar gooding #john marshall jones #disney #90s #nineties

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beauregardlionett · 5 years ago

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don’t blame it on the kids

AO3 Link

Leaving felt like finally being able to take a clean breath after being stuck inside that house for the duration of that torturous reunion. Her parents were suffocating, the décor was suffocating, and their false kindness and hollow apologies were suffocating. Beau had come so, so close to losing her shit, to just snapping and tearing everything inside those rooms apart. Her friends at her back and her side had been helpful in presence, and while she wished just a little that they had spoken up on her behalf before she started crying, she didn’t fault them for being out of their depth. The majority of them came from broken families; they didn’t have experience with how to react when parents started humiliating their child in front of other people.

Releasing her friends from the hug she had pulled them into, Beau wiped at her eyes as subtly as possible and cracked a self-deprecating grin she hoped passed as cocky, gesturing for them to follow her.

“Let’s get out of this hell hole. We’ve got a witch to find.”

As they walked – not towards town but instead out towards the mountains – Beau let herself fall in at the back of the group, Jester and her spell leading the way. It wasn’t raining too hard anymore; instead it was more of a fine, never-ending mist. Beau tipped her face skyward and closed her eyes, let it wash over her and pretended it could hide her tears and wash away the evidence of how incapable she was of facing her parents.

They walked for a while longer before it got too dark and Fjord made the executive decision to set up camp for the night. Caleb set up the bubble at the base of a half dead tree, part of the trunk inside, meticulous as always. Beau flopped down at the outer edges with her back against the tree, waving off the others’ offers to take watch in her stead. She told them that she didn’t feel like sleeping yet, didn’t mind staying up for a little while.

She found herself unsurprised when twenty minutes later, everyone else was asleep and Caleb stood to pick his way over them and plop down at her side. He didn’t say anything, but Frumpkin the raven suddenly appeared on his arm in a strange blink of the eye kind of trick. He took a moment to scratch two fingers against the back of the bird’s neck before Frumpkin hopped his way over to perch on Beau’s shoulder and settle quite comfortably against the side of her head. His feathers were warm and soft and the raven let out a single, quiet crooning noise before going silent.

They sat like that for a while, Beau not watching their surroundings but instead switching between staring out to the middle distance and flitting her gaze over their sleeping companions. Caduceus’ rumbling snores were a little quieter than usual tonight, more like distant thunder than a storm directly overhead. Yasha seemed content sleeping beside him, and Beau’s lips quirked at the corner as she looked over them. Fjord had taken up position on the opposite side of the bubble, a barrier between anything outside and the rest of their friends. Nott was curled into the space near the curve of his stomach, not touching but clearly taking comfort in presence. Jester had somehow smushed her way rather creatively into the narrow space between Yasha and Nott, snoozing quite soundly as she splayed across the ground.

Everything about the atmosphere inside this little dome radiated with content, and Beau had never been so happy as to revel in it than she was right now.

This was home. This was her family.

“Beauregard,” Caleb’s voice was quiet at her shoulder, and it was only as she looked towards him (careful not to knock Frumpkin) that she realized her vision was blurred. “You are crying.”

She almost pulled out that former excuse, almost said “hayfever” or “allergies”, but something stopped her. Something in the lack of judgment in Caleb’s eyes, something in the set of his mouth, forced the honesty out of her in that moment.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” She let out a very soft breathy huff of a laugh, low and humorless. Reaching up to wipe her cheeks clean with a little more force than strictly necessary, Beau looked away from Caleb and tried to take a steady breath.

“I uhm…I cannot…say that-that I understand, because I do not,” Caleb fumbled heavily through his words, blatantly uncertain of where to place his feet so as not to step on a landmine. Beau stayed quiet and let him try to navigate whatever he was trying to say. She had learned through experience that it was better to let him parse his thoughts out, to slowly untangle what he wanted to say and usually find the correct phrase along the way.

“But I want you to know, we – all of us – are here for you. We obviously do not know…everything. That you have been through. But I for one…I do not wish to watch you suffer through this by yourself.”

Beau stayed quiet for a while longer, eventually reaching up to bury her fingers in the soft feathers at Frumpkin’s neck, earning a quiet noise from the raven at the gesture. Eventually though, she burrowed her way out from behind the walls she had built up and up and up and up and went to greet Caleb for his efforts.

“I never wanted to come back here,” Beau whispered, afraid to lift her voice above that volume for fear of being heard. “I wanted to put this place behind me, forget that I had family here that didn’t want me and move on. I wanted to erase the memory of my dad slapping me across the face the night the Cobalt Soul took me away, to burn the letter my mother sent me, to never have to see TJ’s face because I knew I’d look into those big, innocent eyes and want to keep him safe. But…here I am.”

Frumpkin pressed a little more into Beau’s absent scratching and she met the gesture with a little more attention to her ministrations. Caleb remained quiet and present, solid and reassuring, at her side.

“Do you think I should forgive them?” Beau eventually asked the silence around them, eyes on Jester’s splayed sleeping form. “My parents?”

“You are asking someone who…you know what I did to my parents. I would give…anything to have more time with them. But for you, as I said, I don’t know everything that has happened between you and them, so I don’t think I can necessarily tell you what the right answer is here.”

It was kind of the answer she was expecting, but it still didn’t help and Beau felt more lost and useless than ever.

“But…I can say,” Caleb continued suddenly, and Beau glanced sideways at the wizard, mildly surprised. “You do not seem…happy with them. And from what I gathered, they were justifying – poorly – mistakes they made and trying to blame you for reacting as you did. Which I can tell you is wrong on their end. You should not be blamed for doing what you did in a bad, complicated situation. Especially since you were a child at the time.”

She wasn’t sure how to reply to all of that. Somewhere, tangled messily with the younger version of herself that believed everything that had happened was her fault, the logical version of Beau was calling out that Caleb was right. The Beau she had cultivated on the road, the one she had wanted to become when she was years younger and full of hope for a life of adventure that would expand her family’s profit; that Beau was shouting at the top of her lungs that Caleb had hit the nail on the head.

“But,” and this was the weakest version of herself speaking, the child that had taken to heart the fact that her father and mother had paid to have her dragged out of their home while expecting her replacement. “Maybe if I had just listened…and done what they asked, things would have been better and I could have made them proud. Maybe they wouldn’t hate me.”

“Well,” Caleb’s thick accent drew her back, Beau blinking the family around her back into focus, banishing the imagined faces of loving parents from behind her eyelids. “I would hate to think where we would be…without you.”

Abruptly, Beau remembered the words she had spoken to Fjord back in the tavern a few days prior. She was scared of facing her past because it was a past that didn’t include the Mighty Nein…and that she was happy here, like this. That she was scared of losing that happiness.

This was why.

She had been back in that god damn house for less than two hours and she was already trying to place the blame on herself, to maybe reason a way into fixing what had never been whole. In the year she had spent alongside this band of misfits, they had given her more than her parents ever had.

“Jester said she thought…that my dad wasn’t lying about caring about me. But I don’t believe her, not really. I just think he’s convinced himself that everything that happened three years ago was in no way his fault. I think he believes that he’s blameless…and I’m not ready to forgive him.”

She looked over at Caleb, kept her fingers buried in the warm, soft feathers of Frumpkin’s neck and took a tremulous breath.

“I don’t know if I ever will.”

Caleb met her with a steady look, and a firm nod. It wasn’t agreement, and it wasn’t disagreement. It was approval for a choice that Beau had made on her own, it was a reassurance that he would support her no matter what choice she decided to make in the end. He would not tell her what to do – none of them would. But they would stand at her back and Caleb would return the favor she so often granted. Caleb would give his shoulder for her to grab onto if she needed a crutch to steady herself on, a reminder that she wasn’t by herself in any of this.

Beau was so tired of crying, so drained from digging up emotions that she rarely ever let see the light of day. Despite this, her eyes stung with tears that lingered there and didn’t fall. She was too exhausted to cry for real now.

Caleb, in a rare display of physical affection, reached out, gently shooed Frumpkin off Beau’s shoulder and into the monk’s lap. He placed his arm around her shoulders, occupying the space Frumpkin had just been in with a steady hand, drawing her into his side. Beau went willingly, leaning into reassurance offered so unconditionally from someone who believed so whole-heartedly in the goodness inside of her.

This was reminiscent of their post-battle ritual, commiserating their wounds and finding solidity in the fact that they had managed to survive once again. In a way, Beau supposed that this was technically post-battle – one she had had to fight on her own. Caleb was offering her a second layer of protection, tucked into his shoulder inside the bubble. He was letting her take her time to lick her wounds and feel a little miserable before they continued on towards their goal in the morning.

Sniffling against the pressure of a cry-induced stuffed nose, Beau’s eyelids drooped with exhaustion and she tucked herself a little more securely against Caleb’s side and wrapped a careful had around Frumpkin in her lap. Tension unwound so rapidly from her muscles at the foreign feeling of total safety that Beau felt a little off kilter. But she was too tired to dwell on it.

“I am…sorry. By the way,” Caleb murmured, his mouth near her hairline as he tipped his temple against the top of her head. His fingers tightened a little around her shoulder as he apologize, and Beau hummed with sleepy confusion, brow crinkling slightly as she fought to stay awake.

“What for?” she whispered in return, petting her fingers against Frumpkin’s wing.

“For asking you to come back here in the first place. I know I often tend to put Nott above everyone else, but I never should have asked this of you.”

Caleb’s voice was tight with guilt, and Beau found herself drifting back to a few days prior, when the wizard had asked if she would do this for their friend. Not his friend, their friend. Maybe he thought it was selfish (and maybe it was), but Beau knew that this had to happen eventually, and she would stand by Nott through anything. Even through facing her family.

She thought of Nott happily popping open an expensive bottle of her family’s wine to spite her parents, of a sharp grin full of teeth and a lie meant to terrify her father, of clattering cups and a jade rabbit statue sitting pretty in Nott’s little hands. She thought of that night at the tavern, their ridiculous conversation about crushes, and Nott proudly proclaiming everything her little Luc was good at, like any decent mother would.

“If I knew this all would have happened when you asked, I would still say yes,” Beau murmurs after the silence stretched between them. “Nott is my friend too, and this is an important lead for her. You didn’t do anything wrong, Caleb.”

Seemingly not knowing how to respond to her lack of anger towards him, something he had clearly expected, the wizard remains silent and just wraps his arm that much more firmly around her shoulders. Beau hums quietly again and finally lets her eyes flutter shut for the night. She’s never felt safer than this in her life.

“Thank you,” she muttered, hoping her words were still coherent enough for him to understand as she dropped off to dreamless sleep.

#cr #critical role #beauregard #caleb widogast #spoilers #writing #my writing #empire kids #empire siblings #i love the empire kids so much #we love the empire siblings

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captainkippen · 5 years ago

Note

fic where cyrus is a french foreign exchange student and tj is blown away

Okay, I put a lil spin on this I hope you don't mind. Here you go!

He hadn't meant for it to happen, but like most things that went wrong in his life the whole ordeal arose as a result of his own inability to deal with getting flustered. Trust Cyrus to get himself into a situation like this.

It started off like this:

It was the first day of his junior year and for the first time, Cyrus had classes on the East Side of campus. He had never had classes there before, who could even tell why, but up until the moment he went in search of room 203 it hadn't occurred to him that this fact might become a problem. Why would it be a problem? Well, because Cyrus had no sense of direction. Especially in new places.

The room he wandered into was decidedly Not room 203, Miss Ruiz's AP History class, hence the mixture of confusion and surprise he felt when an excited bundle of jock came bounding towards him and grabbed his hand to shake it.

"Hey! You made it, awesome! I'm T.J. I'm you're buddy while you're here."

Cyrus knew who T.J. Kippen was. Everybody did. Captain of the basketball team, tall, scary and generally all around mean. He had only ever seen him frown before, so he was even more thrown off by the way T.J. was beaming at him. It was kind of cute.

"I- what?"

"Oh, sorry, did you not get that? My bad, talking too fast. And in English. Je m'appelle T.J."

Cyrus officially had no idea what was going on.

"Uh... guide touristique? Sorry, my French isn't the best... Natalie was meant to be helping you, but she's off sick... you are the new french exchange kid, right?"

There was a moment of silence, and before he could stop himself Cyrus was feigning sudden understanding and nodding. "Oh! Yes... uh, I mean... oui?"

"Great!" TJ grabbed his hand and Cyrus felt his face go red. "I'm meant to be showing you around and stuff. Let's go."

The next few hours were torture, but not for the reasons Cyrus would've expected. TJ took it upon himself to show him around all the sports department, explaining baseball in terrible fractured French, while Cyrus nodded and tried to look as European as possible. It was harder than he expected. By lunchtime they had both taken to gesticulating at one another like lunatics. Cyrus knew he should tell him the truth, there was probably a real French exchange student wandering around lost right as they talked, but he couldn't bring himself to.

T.J's smile every time Cyrus made an attempt at French was breathtaking. Cyrus was considering buying a beret.

Before his plans to learn an entire new language and forge a new identity could come into fruition, however, the whole jig was dashed when Cyrus' friends appeared.

"Cyrus?" Cyrus turned slowly, dread filling his stomach. Oh no.

Andi Mack and Jonah Beck, two of his best friends, stood by the bleachers wearing matchinf baffled expressions. "Aren't you meant to be in class right now? And why are you speaking in French? You don't even take French."

Silence. It felt like it went on forever before Cyrus could finally bring himself to look at T.J. He had a surprisingly calm expression on his face.

"You're not a foreign exchange student, are you?"

"I, uh-" How do you explain to somebody that you were so caught off guard by how cute they were that you pretended to be from a different continent altogether?

"No. I'm not," he admitted with a defeated sigh. "I just... I was looking for my history class this morning, but I found you instead, and when you started talking I didn't know how to tell you that you'd made a mistake and then you smiled at me and everything got out of hand."

He snapped his mouth shut fast. He hated his own tendency to ramble when panicked.

"Well, jeez Goodman, you didn't have to pretend for my sake. We could've had a normal conversation in English if you'd just said."

"I know I- wait. I never told you my name," Cyrus frowned at T.J. "Wait... you knew who I was this whole time?"

It was T.J's turn to blush. He rubbed at the back of his neck and gave an awkward shrug.

"We'll just leave you two alone..." Andi said, turning slowly with a bemused expression on her face before grabbing Jonah and pulling him away.

"Then why did you let me pretend to be French?!"

"Uh... well," he kicked at the ground, staring down at his feet, then mumbled something utterly unintelligible.

"What?"

T.J. sighed. "I wanted an excuse to talk to you. And, like, when you walked into the classroom earlier I just thought it was the perfect icebreaker, but then you said yes to being the French guy! And I couldn't accuse you of being a liar right after I had just lied, could I?"

Cyrus' heart did a somersault. "You... wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah... um, I don't know. I've seen you around and stuff, I guess. You seem pretty cool, but you're always with Driscoll and she doesn't like me so..."

"So we're both just total losers, huh?" Cyrus grinned.

T.J. looked up in surprised, then slowly began to smile back. "I guess we are."

"Well... in that case, do you maybe wanna go be losers together at The Spoon after school? Call it a study date. We could both brush up on our French."

"You want to go out with me, after all that? After I lied?"

"Hey, a boy doesn't pretend to be French for just anybody around here now.

The beaming was back.

"It's a date," T.J. said with a laugh, and Cyrus decided the day had not been so awful after all.

#tyrus #andi mack #cyrus goodman #TJ Kippen

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thinkingaboutyoungroyals · 5 years ago

Text

Lost Boy Epilogue: Found

Summary: When his family moves from San Francisco to the town of Shadyside, T.J. thought his life would change. And it did. He just didn’t think it would come in the form of the ghost of a boy who haunted his new bedroom.

Prologue

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11

@delicatesleeper,@ibroughtachallah,@frenchtohste,@alittletooliteralleah,@tyrusmagocious,@tjskipping, @mirrorslover, @opatrickr, @lesbianrelateddeath, @justkimberley,@burning-hot-pan,@green-lemonboys,@anotherangelfromspace,@thebisexualweirdo,@likelightning-inabottle,@thedampjofangirl, @fizasdr, @awkward-bisexual-alien, @whipashwhipash, @abg-blah,@atthemomentimintothis,@emberofthefrost, @sana-drinks-isklar, @tyrusisobviouslyendgame, @delilahdee00, @lazymarvelfan, @glitch-ditch-canonbitch, @miracufan

A/N: Hi, guys! Here it is now: the epilogue. Please read this note, first! It’s very important!

First things first, I want to thank everyone who read, commented, liked/left kudos, and followed this story from beginning to end.

Second, a couple of things have occurred since the last chapter was posted and I’d like to address them here, now.

So, I know most of you were unhappy with how I chose to end that chapter but you already knew what you were getting into when you clicked on this story. So, to that one person who was very rude in their comment (you know who you are, if you are still even subscribed to this since I politely asked you to unsubscribe and I’m still kindly asking you not to bother with reading this Epilogue because it’s not for you), this is what I have to say. A writer can choose how to end their story in the way they want, it’s their work and it’s their vision. They worked hard to produce a story and, for an emotional story like “Lost Boy” that’s filled with angst and tragedy, it can take a toll on their own mental and emotional health. I have no problem with constructive criticism, but your comment was not constructive, at all. You have no idea how many times I’ve re-worked this story since last year, the effort and every bit of my own emotions I put on it. So, the fact that you said the things you did makes me believe that you don’t realize all the work it took to create this story you supposedly enjoyed but proceed to insult when it didn’t end the way you wanted. It’s MY story.

And, following up on that, if you’re unhappy with how I wrote my stories and you want to write your own version, please, please, please, PLEASE ask me for permission. My story ideas are precious and important to me, as any author will tell you. This is the second time it’s happened and both times, both stories were written without my permission. Even if you credit me in your author notes, which I appreciate, I still want to be asked if I’m okay with it because when it’s sprung up on me, I’m caught off-guard and it upsets me. I want to be able to make that choice to have something I come up with re-written and I won’t pretend I’m okay with it. So, again, please, please, please, PLEASE ask me for permission, it’s only common courtesy.

And, third, I’ll be taking a short break after this but I will start accepting prompt requests again, soon.

With that said, enjoy this Epilogue!

................

The streets and houses looked the same as he remembered…yet also not the same.

Mrs. Singh’s shrubs are still shaped like birds. The Caranos’ front porch had been re-painted from white to a bright sunny yellow. Mr. Lee’s picket fence was finally fixed. And the Smith’s gnomes still stare stonily right into his soul.

A breeze swept by him and he shuddered, zipping his jacket further up before stuffing his hands into the pockets. He continued down the path to his destination, his gaze swiveling around and taking in his surroundings.

Everything was familiar…yet also not familiar.

After some time, he finally made it to the gray-painted house with the navy-blue roof and white windows. The picket fence surrounding it was still intact and still white.

He couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips as he walked up the path to the front door. His stomach was filled with butterflies and nerves. He kind of felt guilty for being here and almost turned tail and ran. But, no, he was going to do this. He swore to himself that he would.

Raising a hand, he pressed his finger to the doorbell and waited.

It didn’t take long for the door to swing open and reveal a blonde-haired woman, who smiled in a friendly manner upon seeing him.

“Hello. Can I help you?”

“Hello, ma’am. Is this the Kippen household?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Hi, uh, Mrs. Kippen?”

She nodded.

“I’m… Cyrus Goodman. I used to live here?”

She blinked, brow furrowing in confusion before a look of understanding took over.

“Oh! Goodman! Yes! We bought the house from your parents. Hi, how are you, dear? What brings you here?”

Cyrus chuckled, lightly, his nerves disappearing. “Uh, it’s kind of a long story. But, I was wondering if your son, T.J., was home? He did something for my parents over a year ago and I just came by to thank him, in person.”

“Of course! Come on in!”

She stepped aside and allowed him to enter the home he hadn’t seen in so long.

“He’s up in his room, I’ll go get him,” said Mrs. Kippen before heading up the stairs.

Cyrus took that chance to look around.

Everything was different. The furniture. The photos and paintings on the walls. Even the scent. Instead of the faint aroma coming from the lavender candle that his step-mother Sharon always had lit to relax her patients, there was the unmistakable fresh smell of store-bought Febreze (he just wasn’t sure which one).

He no longer recognized his former home.

A gasp and a glass falling to the floor and breaking caught his ears.

He turned to see a blonde-haired teenage girl, looking at him with wide blue eyes, like she had seen a ghost or something.

He awkwardly lifted a hand to wave. “Hi. I’m Cyrus.”

She continued to stare, her body trembling.

Worried, he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Y-You…” The girl finally found her voice. “B-But, y-you’re…”

Cyrus’ brow furrowed. Did she know him?

“Mom, just tell me who it is,” a new voice reached his ears.

“I’ll let him introduce himself. Come on, don’t keep your guest waiting.”

Distracted, Cyrus turned his head towards the stairs.

Mrs. Kippen was coming down and behind her was a blonde-haired boy.

Instantly, Cyrus felt his breath catch in his throat and the blood rushed to his cheeks. His palms were suddenly sweaty and his heart suddenly decided it wanted to run a marathon.

Tousled blonde hair. Green eyes that reminded Cyrus of freshly cut grass. And a built that definitely screamed “Athlete!”

Damnit, the guy was cute!

This must be T.J., then. His mom definitely did not exaggerate when she told Cyrus the guy was good looking. It wasn’t just her trying to set him up with someone to date.

When T.J. caught sight of him, he froze, eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights and his mouth open in shock.

Cyrus cleared his throat, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. “H-Hi.” He cleared his throat. “Um, T.J.? Right? I’m-.”

“Cyrus,” T.J. breathed and the way he said the name was, strangely, familiar to Cyrus.

Had they met before? But, he was told that the Kippens were new to Shadyside.

The goosebumps that appeared on his skin confused Cyrus, too.

“You’re Cyrus.” The blonde continued to stare at him.

Cyrus let out a soft chuckle.

“Yeah. I guess you’ve heard of me? Well, of course, you have! You live in my old house! And staying in my old room! I hope you like it! Wait, of course, you like it! Haha, you chose it, after all. I hope it was comfortable and… uh…”

T.J. blinked, speechless.

Knowing he was rambling by now, Cyrus subtly tried to wipe his hands on the side of his jeans.

“You gave my parents my journal a year ago. And I just came by to thank you. We just got back, actually.”

“But…how…”

Oh, of course, he wouldn’t know what happened the year before. No one knew. Cyrus had begged his parents to make sure of it.

He nervously ran a hand through his hair. “It’s kind of a long story.”

It was now that Mrs. Kippen decided to intervene.

“We’re gonna clean this up.” She gestured to the broken glass on the floor by her daughter’s feet. “T.J., why don’t you take Cyrus up to your room so you can talk? But, leave the door unlocked, please.”

To Cyrus’ surprise and curiosity, T.J. turned a deep shade of red.

“Mom!” the blonde almost shrieked.

Cyrus didn’t know why his heart refused to calm down at all. Was he nervous? Maybe a little. But, what did he have to be nervous about?

T.J.’s sister was still staring at him and Cyrus tried to ignore the way her eyes seemed to zero in on his back as he followed the other boy up to the second floor.

When they reached his old room, Cyrus immediately noticed the difference. Instead of the plain old white door Cyrus remembered, rainbow-colored paper that formed “TJ” was stuck on the wood.

(Cyrus’ heart may have skipped a beat. Weird.)

Across from that, the room that Cyrus remembered as a guest room, had a paper “Amber” on it.

“Um…come on in.”

T.J. had opened the bedroom door while Cyrus was distracted.

Nodding, he stepped into his old room and was immediately washed by a sense of familiarity and unfamiliarity at the same time. He stopped in the middle and looked around.

The bed frame was the same, but the sheets and covers were a dark green, instead of Cyrus’ more familiar light blue. His old desk was still being used, filled to the brim with books, papers, pens and pencils, and other knick-knacks.

His inspirational posters had been replaced with photo frames and posters of basketball stars. Hoodies were slung over the chair, the edge of the bed, and the closet doorknob. A basketball sat under the window that overlooked Sharon’s old garden.

It was his room yet also not his room.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” he commented, walking over to the desk and perching on the edge of it, still looking around. “It doesn’t look like my old room, anymore.”

T.J. let out a kind of choked gasp and Cyrus turned his attention to him, curiously.

The blonde looked pale, his gaze still on Cyrus like he couldn’t decide what to make of him. And, by the look in his eyes, he seemed on the verge of crying.

He didn’t think Cyrus was gonna take away his room, was he? Because that was ridiculous, his parents didn’t even own this house, anymore.

“Are you okay?” he asked, feeling a little worried.

T.J. bit his lip before nodding. “Yeah… I’m fine… You’re here… You’re really here… But, how… I mean, last year…”

Ah, right into the nitty-gritty.

Before Cyrus could begin his explanation, T.J. blurted out, “Can I hug you?” He turned read again before following it up with a shy, “Please.”

He should really be questioning this. T.J. was a stranger. His stranger danger instincts should be on overdrive, as it always was when meeting something new. But, for some odd reason he couldn’t pinpoint, he felt comfortable with the blonde boy. And not just because he was cute.

Despite being shocked and kind of caught off-guard, Cyrus found himself nodding and hopping off the desk. In a few strides, T.J. walked forward until he was standing right in front of Cyrus. He was about a head taller than Cyrus so the latter found himself looking up at him.

T.J.’s green eyes had flecks of yellow. They were really pretty.

Cyrus could feel himself blushing at the thought but before he could even comprehend what was happening, T.J. had raised his shaking arms to go around him but he didn’t touch Cyrus. He was hesitating as if Cyrus was made of glass and T.J. was scared of breaking him.

Finally, after what felt like agonizing long minutes (but were probably only a few seconds), T.J. fully wrapped his arms around him, bringing him close to the firm chest.

Cyrus’ heart started running that marathon again. T.J.’s hug was warm and comfortable and he felt like crying, for some reason. He could feel his eyes stinging with tears but he forced them not to fall.

T.J. hugged him for a long time. Maybe a minute or two passed before he finally let go. Maybe because Cyrus had started squirming a little.

The blonde turned away and sniffled.

Cyrus heard him but decided not to comment. Clearly, T.J. was going through something but it was his decision to tell Cyrus or not. After all, they were strangers.

T.J. finally turned back around, looking sheepish. “Sorry. I… uh… Sorry.”

Cyrus smiled, assuring him that it was okay.

“It’s just… last time I saw you… Your parents were going to take you off life support. And…”

Of course! The last time T.J. probably saw him, he was unconscious to the world. For all he knew, Cyrus had died. And that was kind of Cyrus’ fault to begin with. He had to explain himself.

“Yeah… about that. We should probably sit down.”

He made his way back to the desk and he watched as T.J. hesitated before going to the bed and sitting there, instead.

“So… you were right… they were going to take me off life support,” Cyrus began, swinging his legs to combat his nerves. “But, I woke up. Like… literally, moments before they were gonna pull the plug, I just woke up. The doctors couldn’t explain it. Said it was a miracle but whatever it was, I’m just glad for it. I really like being alive.”

He chuckled a little and T.J.’s lips quirked into a soft smile.

It was a nice smile. Cyrus was momentarily distracted by it until the blonde asked, “Why didn’t they tell us? We were waiting to hear back about… your funeral. Is that why they didn’t say anything? Because there was no funeral?”

Cyrus pursed his lips. “Yeah… that was kind of my fault. I asked them not to tell anyone I woke up.”

T.J.’s eyes widened. “What? Why?”

Cyrus looked back to last year, the moment he opened his eyes to his parents’ tear-stained faces, the shock in their eyes, and his mother’s hysterical screaming for the doctor. The various hands on him, touching and prodding and checking every inch and crevice of his body. The confusion as to why he was on a hospital bed, feeling stiff and sore, his head all fuzzy.

“When I first woke up, it was like waking up from a long nap,” he began to explain. “Except, it wasn’t just a nap. It was all scary and confusing and I thought I was still dreaming for most of it. Until, finally, when everything calmed down, they told me what happened to me. That I was in a coma for more than a year and they thought I was never waking up. They couldn’t explain it. I was brain-dead, only kept alive by the machine. But, the doctors thought they may have made a mistake in the initial diagnosis. It’s rare but it does happen. I guess I got lucky.”

“No one told us,” T.J. stated, sounding hurt. “We waited and we even went to your mom’s house. No one was there.”

“In all the fuss, my mom forgot to give everyone a call.”

Which was a miracle, itself, really. His mom never let an opportunity pass by to talk about the latest happenings. And Cyrus waking up from a year-long coma was definitely something she would talk about.

“I asked her not to say anything, especially to my friends.”

“But… why?”

Cyrus sighed as he closed his eyes.

“I was ashamed. And embarrassed. And… just… I couldn’t face them after everything.” He opened his eyes to see T.J. staring at him in rapt attention. “You know, when a person first wakes up from a coma, they’re not exactly back to their old selves. It’s kind of like… starting from scratch. Like a toddler learning everything for the first time. I was sedentary and unconscious for a long time and I needed rehab to re-learn basic actions again. Like walking and remembering things. I could talk a little, but it hurt and I had trouble forming long sentences. I think my voice changed but that’s probably just puberty.”

He linked his hands together, clasping them together on top of his knee.

“The doctor recommended a rehab center in L.A. so my family packed up everything and we moved there. They didn’t say anything to anyone else except for close family. Honestly, I feel kind of guilty for not telling my friends but… I just wanted to be a little less… broken… before I see them again.”

Cyrus smiled and hopped off the desk, wincing a little at the ache in his right knee when his foot landed.

“But, I’m back now! And I’m ready to see them again. I mean… I’m not fully recovered. I still have trouble with my memory and my legs give out sometimes… not that it’s any different from how I was before the coma… but, I’m better. Much better.”

For a moment, it looked like T.J. really had no idea how to react to the situation. He was still staring at Cyrus. And Cyrus wasn’t used to cute boys staring at him. It should unnerve him, but he wasn’t uncomfortable, at all.

He couldn’t explain it but there was something about T.J. that made Cyrus feel comfortable, like he was someone he could trust.

“Why did you come here?” the blonde finally spoke up. “I mean… we didn’t know each other.”

“I told you. I wanted to thank you for giving my parents my journal last year. My mom told me everything.”

It made him overly curious about the mysterious T.J. who moved into his dad’s old house, befriended his friends, and helped him come out to his parents.

“I’m sorry,” T.J. quickly said, standing up. “I overstepped my boundaries but it only felt right to give it to them.”

“I know. And you have no idea how much I appreciated that you did that.”

And Cyrus meant it.

When his mother finally told him and even showed him the journal, he knew he was supposed to feel upset and violated. Yet, instead, he felt at peace. Somehow, a part of him was grateful for the person who allowed his parents to finally see the real him.

“It wasn’t the ideal way to come out,” he admitted. “But, considering the circumstances, I could have died. And my parents would have never known. I know I’d regret it in the afterlife.”

T.J. winced, looking away and staring at the window. He looked upset. Was it something Cyrus said? Maybe he felt guilty for outing Cyrus? He really shouldn’t.

Still, he moved forward and placed a hand over T.J.’s arm, squeezing gently in what he hoped was comforting.

“I’m not mad at you,” Cyrus said. “I appreciate what you did. I swear.”

Finally, T.J. turned back to him, looking worried. “Do you… remember anything from when you were in a coma?”

That was an unexpected inquiry.

Cyrus shook his head as he removed his hand from the other boy’s arm.

“No, not really. Like I said, it was kind of like waking up from a nap.” He furrowed his brows, remembering a few blurry images and a distant yet familiar voice. “I know I dreamed. I definitely dreamed. I just don’t remember what the dream was.”

T.J. blinked and turned away again. “Yeah… I figured.”

There was something sad and melancholic in the tone of his voice. He sounded… heartbroken.

Cyrus was hit with the overwhelming need to wrap him in his arms.

“So… what happens now?” T.J. asked. “Did you tell Andi and the others yet?”

“Not yet. We only got back yesterday so we’re still in the middle of moving in. For some reason, I just... needed to come here and meet you, first, before anything else. But, I asked my mom to call them over to the house this afternoon. My parents decided to live in the same block this time instead of opposite sides of the town, so they can keep a better eye on me. And… I’m kinda nervous to see them. But, excited, too! Definitely excited. I missed them.”

Now, T.J. turned back to him, a small smile playing on his lips. “They missed you, too. You have no idea how much I… they missed you.”

He was really handsome when he smiled. Cyrus hoped they could be friends so he could see it more often.

His phone beeped and when he checked it, he saw a text message from his mother asking him if he was coming home soon. He supposed it was time. He still had some memory exercises to work on. And probably some physical exercises too before the girls and Jonah (hopefully) would arrive that afternoon.

This time, he knew he couldn’t get out of exercising because he needed it if he wanted to make a full recovery.

“I have to head home, now,” he announced, feeling kind of sad.

It was only for a few minutes but he liked hanging out with T.J. He wanted to get to know him more.

To his delight, T.J. offered to walk him home.

“So I can visit you sometime,” he explained.

Cyrus’ heart fluttered and he couldn’t deny the attraction any longer.

Funny. It took him ages to realize he had a crush on Jonah. Not even an hour with T.J. and he was already admitting to it.

As they walked, Cyrus rambled on and on. He talked about L.A. and how much he liked it, the rehab center and the people he met there, and the exercises he had to do to get his motor skills going and his memory to sharpen. He hoped T.J. didn’t mind him talking so much but talking was also a way for him to better his speech skills.

He didn’t realize how little he took for granted simple things such as remembering, walking, and talking before he was unable to do so properly for months. Now, he wasn’t going to waste a single minute of this second chance at life.

He was going to live his life to the fullest.

T.J. didn’t seem to mind him talking so much, at all. In fact, he seemed rather enthusiastic, answering and asking questions in turn. He even told Cyrus that he was originally a California guy, hailing from San Francisco, so he had visited L.A. a few times with his mom and sister. (But, he clearly had a bias for San Francisco.)

“Are you gonna enroll at Grant, then?” T.J. asked him while Cyrus was trying to catch his breath. “You were gonna go there, right? Before the whole… you know.”

Cyrus wondered how much T.J. knew about the circumstances of his coma. Did he know about Cyrus’ mental state back then? Everything that led up to the accident? Most likely, the girls and Jonah told him, but they didn’t know it was an accident either. Even his parents thought that he did it on purpose until he corrected them.

Truth be told, Cyrus wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about it to someone other than his therapist.

“No, I’m not,” he replied to T.J.’s question. “I’m not fully recovered yet. I’m still going through all the therapies and… well… I don’t think I’m ready to… you know… go back to the school and act normal, like nothing happened.”

The thought of having to put on a face and pretend for everyone made a pit form in his stomach.

T.J.’s face fell. “Oh.”

“But, we can still hang out!” Cyrus added, quickly. “I’d love to get to know you better… and be friends!”

He hoped his excitement wasn’t too obvious.

The smile returned to T.J.’s face. “Yeah?”

Cyrus nodded. “Yeah. Definitely.”

Finally, they reached Cyrus’ new home. They must have talked for quite some time because Cyrus barely noticed the minutes flying by. The ache in his knees told him enough, though.

Now, he was standing in his driveway, not quite wanting to part from T.J. yet. He was really enjoying their talk.

“Um, do you want to come by this afternoon with Andi, Buffy, and Jonah?” he asked. “You didn’t text them, did you?”

Chuckling, T.J. shook his head. “No, of course not. That’s your truth to tell.” He appeared to contemplate his answer. “And as much as I’d like to, I don’t want to impose on your time with them. I mean, I had you this morning. It’s their turn.” Then, he turned red. “I mean, you came by to see me this morning! So, this is their time, you know. And, uh, they’d… really like to see you… Cause I liked seeing you… I mean, to see that you’re okay! And well and… alive. I’m really glad you’re alive.’

Blushing, himself, Cyrus couldn’t stop the little giggle that escaped him. (He was giggling!)

“Thank you,” he said. He bit his lip, feeling shy all of a sudden. “Um… So… I’ll see you around?”

T.J. nodded, his lips upturned into the biggest smile Cyrus had seen all morning. “Definitely.”

A beat passed. Then two.

Cyrus didn’t know what compelled him to or where the courage came from.

But, soon, he found his legs moving forward and, upon reaching the taller boy, his toes lifted him up. He pressed a kiss to T.J.’s cheek.

T.J. let out a soft gasp.

Realizing what he just did, Cyrus stumbled back, horrified hand over his mouth.

“Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I’m sorry, T.J.! I didn’t know why I did that! It was too forward of me and I’m so sorry! I’m sure you feel uncomfortable but I swear, I’m normally not like this and-.”

“Cyrus!” T.J. laughed, stepping forward to grasp Cyrus’ hand. “It’s okay! Really!”

Cyrus’ heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. His body was all warm and his lips tingled from where they pressed on T.J.’s cheek.

He had never felt like this before. Not with someone he just met. He didn’t believe in that love at first sight stuff. But, the moment he met T.J., everything just felt so… right.

“You still remember,” T.J. whispered.

Cyrus furrowed his brows. “Remember what?”

But, T.J. shook his head. “Nothing. Sorry. Just… that was a surprise. But, I can’t say I didn’t like it. Cause I did. Like it, I mean.”

T.J.’s hand in his felt nice.

“It’s… strange.” Cyrus gently squeezed the hand. “I feel like I know you so well already even though we just met. I just can’t help but trust you.”

T.J.’s smile was blinding and his eyes twinkled as he gazed at Cyrus. “I know what you mean. Maybe it’s because Andi, Buffy, and Jonah talked about you so much. But, I know that the real thing is a thousand times better.”

God, was he always this smooth?! They only just met and he was making Cyrus feel all kinds of giddy things he had only read about before or watched on T.V. Would it be always like this the more they get to know each other?

“Um… I hope this isn’t too forward but… Are you doing anything tomorrow? Do you want to go out?” T.J. asked.

Cyrus wanted to scream.

Was he still in a coma?! Did the cutest guy he had ever laid eyes on just ask him out on a date?! Just after an hour of knowing him?!

“We could have lunch at The Spoon. Maybe take a walk in the park? You like swings, right? We could go swinging.”

Cyrus forced his voice to come out. “Like… a date?” he croaked.

It was T.J.’s turn to look shy. “Yeah. If that’s okay. I mean, it doesn’t have to be a date. We can just hang out as friends. If you want, we can ask the others to come with us and make it a group thing and… well… yeah.”

His heart really needed to calm down so he could give a proper answer without his voice shaking.

“I’d like that,” he managed. “For it to be a date, I mean.” He cleared his throat and flashed a smile. “I’d love to go on a date with you, T.J.”

And, with those few words, the blonde’s face lit up like a child at Hanukkah.

“G-Great! I mean, awesome!”

He let out a laugh and without warning, he pulled Cyrus into his chest again, wrapping his arms around him.

So, T.J. was a hugger. Cyrus had no complaints about that. He liked hugging. And holding hands (and T.J. was also clearly a hand holder).

When they finally broke apart, both of them were grinning. Cyrus’ cheek hurt from how wide his lips were stretching but he hadn’t felt this happy in a long time.

Quickly, they exchanged numbers.

“So…” said Cyrus.

“So…” T.J. repeated, cheekily. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Cyrus nodded, giddy. “Tomorrow.”

He stepped forward and gave T.J. another hug goodbye before forcing himself to break away and walk to his front door.

When he turned around to catch one more glimpse of the blonde, T.J. was already walking away but right at that moment, he also looked back at Cyrus. Their eyes met and a kind of understanding passed between them.

Cyrus didn’t know what it was, exactly. But, one thing was for sure.

This was just the beginning for them.

All this time, he felt lost.

But, now, he felt like he had been found.

He had a new reason for living.

A/N: Well, there’s that. I hope it was a nice surprise! It took everything in me not to just blurt it out whenever you guys told me how sad you were. But, I hope this was worth it! Again, thank you so much for all your support and for following this story! I’m very grateful!

And I hope everyone lives their life to the fullest! Live it with kindness, gratitude, and love!

#andi mack #tyrus #tyrus lost boy #tyrus fanfic

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illbeyourreasonwhy · 4 years ago

Text

So Much I Think It Must Be

Chapter 14: Friends

“I think… I might… maybe… like Amber?

There was a stunned silence, during which TJ and Cyrus were perfectly in synch in glancing at each other and then at her, and then they both spoke at the same time.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Cyrus said, looking absolutely done with the world.

“Really? That’s great!” TJ exclaimed excitedly at the same time.

“How is that great? She hates me.”

“Nah, she doesn’t.”

Chapter 14 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers AU! You can find this chapter on ao3 here, and start the fic from the beginning here.

Andi couldn’t believe how fast this summer had gone. There were barely ten days left before school started again and Jonah had decided that in order for them not to think about that too much, the whole gang should spend the afternoon and evening at the town fair.

Andi, TJ and Cyrus got there early afternoon, and made the most of their time before the others arrived. They had gone around the fair three times, marked where the best places that sold cotton candy and popcorn were, and already gone on a few rides.

“Andi, hey!”

Andi turned around. TJ had wanted to ride a rollercoaster and Cyrus had pretended not to be afraid so that he could go with him, so she had decided that the effort earned him some quality time with his not-crush. Which was why she had ended up on her own in the line to get popcorn when she turned to find Iris and Natalie, arms hooked together.

“Hi,” she smiled. “Popcorn?”

“Yes please,” Natalie hastened to say, taking a handful.

They chatted for a bit, then Iris and Natalie were about to head away, promising to meet up later with the others, when Natalie paused, reaching into her pocket.

“Hey, I meant to give you this.” She handed her something small, and Andi looked down to find it was a pride pin. “I figured you could add it to a bag, or a jacket, or… you know, the next thing you create.”

She added the last part with a shrug, looking a little embarrassed, and Andi felt a bubble of gratitude well up inside her, bringing her close to tears.

“Thank you,” she choked out, desperately hoping she wasn’t about to cry in front of them.

Natalie only smiled. “No worries. Welcome to the club.”

“The club?”

“Mhm-hm,” Natalie nodded seriously. “I discussed with the committee, and we have decided to change the name from 'Lesbians Who Dated Jonah Beck' to ‘Jonah Only Dates Girls Who Like Girls’. Much more inclusive. A bit of a mouthful, though, so we go by JODGWLG.”

“That’s still a mouthful,” Iris said.

“Yeah, but this way Andi can join.”

And the urge to fight tears was back. Andi forced herself to steady her voice as she grinned and said, “Well in that case, please accept my formal candidature.”

“We’ll consider it,” Natalie said wryly.

Andi opened her mouth to say something else, but her phone buzzed and she glanced down to see who had texted her.

Amber: Make sure to find the best place for cotton candy before I get there

Andi couldn’t help the grin that took over her face. She tried to tone it down as she pocketed the phone and looked back at Iris and Natalie, but judging by their faces she wasn’t doing a good job.

“Who is that?”

“The other member of JOD… whatever the rest is.”

Iris raised an eyebrow. “Amber is the one making you smile like that?”

“You sound so surprised.”

“That’s because I am.” She shook her head in amazement. “Two years of fighting, and you two sorted it out in less than a month.”

And, yeah, Andi supposed she had a point.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “I like hanging out with her. She’s fun. I don’t even really understand why I hated her for so long.”

“You want to know what I think?” Natalie asked. Andi hadn’t asked, but she shrugged and let her continue. And continue she did. “You don’t hate her. You haven’t in a long time. You just held onto this grudge because it is the only way you knew how to have a relationship with her. If not a good one, at least a significant one.”

“Nat,” Iris said warningly.

“Am I wrong?” Natalie said, her eyes gauging Andi’s reaction. “All of your friends made up, and they are the most loyal bunch I know. I think it’s because they knew you could have let this go a while ago, but you didn’t, because you wanted a connection.”

Andi stared, disbelieving. She wanted to snap at Natalie that she had no idea what she was talking about, to tell her to stop talking because she didn’t want to hear anymore, but she was frozen. It was as if she was peering into her soul and revealing Andi’s deepest secrets to the world, Andi included.

“And why would I want that?” she managed, a little more defensively than she intended.

“Because,” Natalie answered, delivering the finishing blow, “you like her.”

Andi let out a laugh. It came out forced. “That’s crazy. I don’t – I can’t – I don’t think I –”

Her mind was racing, replaying every moment she had spent with Amber recently and seeing them in a new light. Overthinking texts, being hyperaware of their lack of personal space, the way she hadn’t been able to be harsh with Amber in a while, even when they weren’t getting along yet…

“Don’t worry about it,” Iris said hastily. “Nat hasn’t even been here for that long, she doesn’t know enough about you to make theories about my friends’ personal lives,” she added sternly in direction for her girlfriend, who smiled innocently.

“But this makes sense,” Andi said, more to herself than to either of them. “This whole time… I didn’t… How did I not know?”

Natalie opened her mouth, but Iris elbowed her and she closed it. “We’ll, uh, we’ll let you think this over. See you later, and thanks for the popcorn!”

And with that they left, Andi feeling like her worldview had just been shattered to pieces.

“Hey,” Cyrus said a few minutes when he and TJ joined her. “What happened?”

Andi shook her head, still trying to wrap it around what she had just been told. What she had just realised.

“I think… I might… maybe… like Amber?

There was a stunned silence, during which TJ and Cyrus were perfectly in synch in glancing at each other and then at her, and then they both spoke at the same time.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Cyrus said, looking absolutely done with the world.

“Really? That’s great!” TJ exclaimed excitedly at the same time.

Andi chose to answer TJ.

“How is that great? She hates me.”

“Nah, she doesn’t.”

“Alright, well she did, not that long ago. There is no way she likes me back.”

Cyrus looked like it was taking everything in him to not answer that. TJ didn’t have the same problem.

“You sure about that?”

“Well, it’s not like I can ask her!”

“Have you tried that?”

Andi almost screamed, almost told TJ that he wasn’t one to talk when it came to telling his crush how he felt, but she didn’t, not with Cyrus right there. He seemed to understand that by her expression, though.

“Or not,” he conceded. “But you never know. It could work out.”

And it could not, Andi thought. She didn’t want to risk her brand-new friendship with Amber over stupid feelings she had stupidly caught. Or did she? Maybe the fact that it was so new meant that it was actually worth it?

“Ugh, this is a nightmare,” she groaned.

“What is?” someone behind her asked, and she jumped.

“Buffy, hey,” she said, her voice higher than usual.

Buffy raised a confused eyebrow, but before she could ask what she was on about, TJ cried excitedly and made a beeline for Marty and Jonah to perform a handshake that Andi could swear was different from the one they had done a few days ago.

Behind them was Amber, and Andi’s heart jumped.

“When did you get here?”

“Literally this second,” Buffy answered, her eyebrow still raised. “Did I miss something?”

Andi glanced at Amber, who offered her a bright smile and was definitely within earshot, and whispered, “Later.”

Andi couldn’t think straight – well, obviously, TJ’s voice mocked her in her head, which wasn’t helping matters – and decided that the best way for her to process her newfound feelings for Amber was to avoid Amber for the time being.

She stuck close to Buffy for the most part, and definitely avoided Natalie’s knowing looks when she and Iris reunited with the gang.

Then Amber somehow ended up next to her and, yeah, her plan had failed.

“Did you find cotton candy?” Amber asked, her face serious but her eyes laughing, and Andi kind of forgot how to breathe.

“Um…”

Why the hell was Amber so beautiful?

She was looking almost ethereal at the moment, at peace in a way Andi had rarely seen her before. It hit her that this was probably what Amber looked like when she had her guard completely down, when she wasn’t remotely tense or angry or in the middle of an argument. When she was happy. Andi wanted her to look that way forever.

At the moment, though, it was causing Andi’s brain to short-circuit.

“Yeah, but, uh, I’ll show you later, because now, I’m, uh, going on this ride with Buffy,” she got out painfully before dragging her best friend away to the closest ride, getting on without even knowing what it was.

“Okay, what the hell was that?” Buffy asked as soon as they were seated.

“What was what?” Andi asked, still trying to recover.

“Whatever it was that made you look like an idiot ten seconds before you decided to go onto a kids’ ride.”

Andi glanced around and, sure enough, they were sitting on what was probably the most family-friendly ride of the fair, the Family Fun Loop. She chanced a glance back at Amber and her heart sank. The other girl was still standing where she had left her, puzzlement and hurt written all over her face. TJ came over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Andi made a mental note to thank him later.

“Andi?” Buffy said as the ride went in motion. Oh, wow, this was really slow. “What’s going on?”

“I like Amber,” she blurted out.

“What? Since when?”

“An hour ago?”

Buffy stared at her in stunned silence, and she continued.

“I mean, longer than that, but I figured it out an hour ago. Well, Natalie figured it out, but…”

“Andi, you’re not making any sense.”

Andi tried to calm herself down. Buffy seemed to understand, because she started rubbing comforting circles on Andi’s back, and somehow Andi was able to explain everything to her while they went on the slowest ride of the century.

“Wow,” Buffy said when she was finished. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. Ignore it, probably.”

Buffy’s face twisted into something cynical. “Tried that. Didn’t work.”

Andi wanted to say something about how at least she and Marty worked out, about how they were meant to be together whereas she highly doubted she and Amber were, but she stayed silent, and only rested her head on Buffy’s shoulder for the rest of the ride.

Marty was waiting for them when they got off the ride. “Since when do we go on kids' rides?”

Andi panicked, but Buffy didn’t miss a beat. “Experimental try on one of the least used rides of the fair. We’ve been planning on doing this for a while.”

He raised an eyebrow, impressed. “And?”

“Do not recommend. Rollercoasters are way more fun.”

He took her hand. “Well, it’s not a rollercoaster, but may I interest you in a ride on the Ferris wheel, my lady?”

“I suppose you can,” she replied, beaming, and they went over to the Ferris wheel, right next to their ride.

TJ followed, and Cyrus glanced back before hastily sitting down next to him. Andi turned around to comment on the fact that he was willing to confront his fear of heights to sit next to the other boy, but the only person behind her was Amber.

“Where did the others go?” she stammered.

“They were hungry, and Jonah saw a place that sold burgers.” Amber played with her sleeve, before straightening up and looking right into Andi’s eyes. It felt like a challenge, although Andi couldn’t understand what she was challenging her to. “Do you want to join them? Or… we could also go on the Ferris wheel?”

Ah. So this was the challenge.

“Well…” Andi said, trying to figure out how to get out of a ten-minute ride where she would be stuck with Amber and her feelings, “you and I don’t have that great a track record with Ferris wheels.”

Amber tilted her head. “Why don’t we change that?”

She grabbed Andi’s hand and pulled her forward, slowly enough that Andi could back away if she didn’t want to go, but Andi let her. Despite the warning bells her mind was screaming at her.

She regretted that decision approximately zero seconds after sitting in the seat next to Amber. She was internally freaking out, hoping it didn’t show, and hated how finding out about her crush had made her hyperaware of it. She was noticing everything about Amber. How close they were sitting, their arms brushing every time one of them moved. How beautiful she looked, her blonde hair framed in the darkening evening. How her breath was catching in her throat every time Amber looked at her.

By the time they reached the top of the Ferris wheel, her heart was pounding. Unable to fight it any longer, she turned to be fully looking at Amber. Amber was already looking back at her, a smile gracing her lips. Her damn lips.

She smiled mischievously. “It’s curious that Cyrus wanted to go on the Ferris wheel even though he is afraid of heights, don’t you think?”

Andi nodded, words stuck in the back of her throat. It was curious, and she knew perfectly well why he had done it. She was going to have to get back at him by locking him in a room with TJ or something.

Amber didn’t seem bothered by her lack of response.

“We should take some pictures,” she said, already taking her phone out. “So we have proof we were on a Ferris wheel and didn’t leave each other behind this time.”

“Seriously?”

Amber shrugged. “It would be a shame not to take advantage of the view.”

Andi nodded, the corner of her lips tugging up as she shuffled closer to Amber. Amber threw an arm around her and Andi flinched, instantly regretting it as soon as Amber pulled away.

“Sorry, I just –”

“You just surprised me,” Andi said, firmly moving closer and telling her heart to stay in check as Amber put her arm around her again, their sides pressed together.

Amber pulled away after a few selfies. Andi’s face fell momentarily before she pulled herself together. By then, Amber was already looking through the pictures, her phone angled towards Andi enough for her to see the pictures as well.

“You’re so beautiful,” she said, as if she was planning on sending Andi into cardiac arrest. “Seriously, I could never look so good without a filter.”

“Yeah, right, I doubt that,” Andi said before she could stop herself.

She froze, staring at Amber and hoping she hadn’t given herself away, but Amber only swiped to the next picture, her cheeks tinted with pink.

“See?” Amber said, pocketing her phone. “Our track record is fixed.”

“There’s still time for something to go wrong.” Like if I kiss you, or profess my annoying feelings to you, and you reject me and we go back to not being friends.

Amber laughed, bumping their shoulders playfully. “Don’t jinx it!”

They stayed quiet, still looking at each other – staring was more like it, honestly – until they reached the bottom.

“How many times are we going around?”

“Two more,” Amber answered, and then they were silent again.

It was a comfortable silence, but Andi was fumbling with her emotions, trying to figure out what to say, until she decided that she couldn’t keep feeling like this without knowing where they stood.

“We’re friends, right?”

“Right.” Amber swallowed, looking away. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re friends.”

Andi nodded, trying to reassure herself. “I just mean… we’re good?”

Amber turned to look at her again, a curious look in her eyes. “I thought we’d been good for a while, actually.”

“Me too!” Andi exclaimed hastily. She swallowed, trying to tone down the relief, and continued. “Me too, I just needed to be sure, because… I really like you, and I like spending time with you, and I can’t stand the idea of you still hating me, because I have so much fun hanging out with you, and –”

“Andi –” Amber interrupted her, laughing, “we’re good, I promise.” She smiled fondly. “I haven’t hated you in… a really long time, to be honest.”

That was news to Andi. “Really? But…” she gestured vaguely to the space between them as if it could encompass everything, “the past two years…?”

“I mean, of course, you know, you’re the only person who has ever been able to get under my skin the way you do,” Amber amended, rolling her eyes, “and that is infuriating, but… I’ve never actually hated you, really.”

“Me neither,” Andi admitted after a moment. “It was just fun to see how crazy I could drive you.”

“Likewise. You’re very fun to mess with.”

“Why, thank you.”

Amber laughed a little, sounding uncharacteristically nervous, then took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, you know. I’m sorry for all the shit I threw at you in the past two years.” She smiled wryly. “I wish I hadn’t wasted so much energy trying to hate you, because… it turns out that you’re actually pretty awesome. And I feel like I probably missed out on a lot of things with you.”

“Yeah, me too. With you, I mean.” She breathed in deeply, trying to gather as much courage as she could, trying to fight down the instincts she had built over the last two years once and for all. “I’m sorry, too. For… everything.”

Amber smiled, her eyes shining. She hesitated, then extended a hand. “Friends?” she asked. Her voice sounded teasing, but her eyes were nervous.

Andi didn’t even pause to think about it. “Friends,” she answered, shaking on it and ignoring the way her heart constricted painfully.

next chapter

#andi mack #ambi #ambi fanfic #smitimb #*#my writing

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delicioustrashlove · 4 years ago

Text

To me : a honest open letter to my self. deep breath and open up and express

What do you know . You went back there again and all though you held on super tight you couldn’t keep him could you? Of course not. You’ve lost your self every-time chasing him and you’ve never been able to catch him.

I thought I wouldn’t survive this one. I thought honestly I was not going to make something of my self . I whole heartedly was ready to give up . What ever happened happened and I could care less it’ll never be as bad as losing you. And I truthfully connived my self that my happiness only lied in your arms.

It took me so long to cry . Once I got back Colorado the reality of my new home, it was such a blur . For a while I pretended you died. To some how help my heart forget you. And thats all I wanted was to forget you. I deleted every picture and every single video .I blocked you on everything I could think of that youd have access to talking to me through . And for what . Just to black out once a week and tell you how much I miss you and that I love you . I drank my self silly . I mean every event every party every outing I had to be there I had to be anywhere but in reality . Because reality meant no you. It meant what once was and will never be again,, reality meant excepting my feelings. And I wanted so badly to be tough and strong. I’ve gotten my heart shattered a million times by you , you’d think I would get easier . It didnt it was worse . I was so fully invested in you that life didnt exist with out you in it . I didnt know what that felt like anymore . I was so wrapped up In you so blind to reality . Loving you meant losing my self . I lost my self 4 times a year for 5 years trying to keep your heart. I broke my own heart letting you back in to my life so many times . I knew better . But the love I had for you was so much stronger . I couldn’t stay away . I also revolved my entire world around you , so when you where gone I felt so literally like the world was ending . I lost my whole life . I realize now thats not healthy . You have to always prioritize your health and well being before anyone . You have to love you before you love anyone. So wed break up id self destruct then Id put all my pieces back together the ones you broke. Id fix my self and I would get back on track I was moving on I was happy then just like that . One phone call at 10pm where you clearly to drunk to remember the conversation id be on a plane. Drop my job my home my family My friends … quite literally everything just to be with you . Just to love you. All I ever did in this world was so unconditionally love you. I thought I could hate you I did for a while . But I dont anymore . You where apart of my journey and it almost killed losing you but it was supposed to happen . It was part of the plan that god has for me. You coming int o my life brought so much love and bond that ill never feel with anyone else . I will never love someone the way I let my self love you. And when the lesson has finally been learned only then I can move forward to the next chapter. And your purpose in my life was love and lots of lessons and lots of growing . You think god doest hear your heart crying you think he gave up on you ya know , but he never did. In the end you’ll see there was such bigger picture. 5 years I spent going back to you and leaving you. Why did I always go back ? Because loved you but I clearly wasn’t seeing what god prepared for me. He wouldn’t believe his lessons or fallow his guidance so he kept bring ing me back to you so I could relearn and remember why I left and well you might be my soulmate your not meant to be in my story forever . Only a couple chapters . And once you’ve served your purpose to my life that god wants me to have experienced and learned I will be able to move forward. I first must let you go . And I finally am starting to. I got so unhealthy and so sad and so stuck and caused so many health problems to my body . So much that was almost to much to prepare. But I made a choice one day . I chose my self , and not you. I chose to love me and not love you anymore. I commented intently to my family and I mean really gave it my all. I learned that no matter what my parents wouldn’t never leave mom behind .and im going to everything in my power to be a good girl to them and build our love and our relationship . And I think that was gods purpose all along. You cant keep whats not for you . And I didnt understand that when we parted ways. I accept that now . And I know as I continue to stay on the right path god has such beauty waiting ahead for me… look how much I loved you and all I did for you imagine how much I will love the right man. I did alot. Every time we break up I have to fix my self . But I know now its all apart of the journey . All those trials with you just made me stronger it made me braver it made me wiser and it made men grateful for the good ones. You breaking my heart was one of the best things to happen to me in the end. Because I never would stopped loving you I never would have left you behind. I would have always been your biggest fan and continued to love you till I ended up hating my self. You have the courage to set me free was the kindest thing you ever did for me. At the time I didnt get it but who I am now and what I ve accomplished for my self and how when you try really hard to be better and I mean really hard things kind of fall in to place. God smiles and says okay you deserve this you’ve learned you’ve grown . I manaaged to accomplish that goal of being close to my family . We are so close and we love trust and respect eachother so much . Our bond is very very strong . I managed to get my self too a doctor , I found out I complete sabotaged my health . And oh ya I have 14 allergies !!!! And some of the effects of those allergies after time has caused a harmful build up to where I was 3 years away form being diabetic , my thyroid completely stopped working . Amplifying my anxiety and my depression . The last month. I was in az i would get sick a lot . Id eat something and get sick . The problem was I was so fuxking drunk all the time I didnt ever thing anything of it. I’ve destroyed my guy and its a blessing that wildly and randomly this doctor asked if she could test me . And we found a lot of issues and also got a lot of answers to a lot of my health issues. Im starting treatment for that . Ill be injecting my self every other day with medicine to help my body repair the damages I have done and it will also help fight allergic reaction and build immunity so this doesnt happen again . I also !!! Am taking my meds again . Different ones but im glad I chose to take this chance on them again . I figured if im going to put my health and happiness first I dotn need to be drinking and If im not drinking a lot fo stuff is going to come to the surface and I don know how well ill be able to handle that reality. I also like I said thought. Was going to kill my self. I was so heartbroken so so so sad. I knew I needed help and I reached out and got. Now im happy and stable and I get out of bed and I have energy and im so present and to active. I work out everyday . I eat healthy and I lost some weight . My highest weigh t was 168 before our florida trip I got down to 147 , when worked for Linx I was 145 then after being with tj again my mental health went hay wire and I lost my self again . Completely lost. And when I got back to co I was 153 pounds …. I would shift from 145 to 147 … then I just stopped worrying about it and started doing something about it. I channeled all my sadness in to exercise . Im sad go work out im bored go work out im happy hey go work out get that good flow !! Your angry you miss him what ever it was I worked out then it became all I could focus on cus I learned to love it so Much . I took on running again I put in the work . Things finally where falling into place . I was getting my self back and this time it was better then ever . Better then ever before . I unlocked this door and its been so beautiful. I one day weighed my self just to see assuming id be 145 I was 137 !!!! Wow !!! A week later I was 135 and today I am 133!!!!! Its so cool and feels so good to not be depressed not feel pretty in my clothes. And iliv Amy self. So much . I hope I start working at hooters soon and continue to have a great life. I finally got approved for unemployment and ally back pay and also and extra 13 weeks after mine runs out. Things are just happening . I wasn’t going to get any hadn’t outs . But I was at the bottom thats for sure and you know who was there ? Not tj not the guy you literally did everything for no not him . My mom and my step dad and my brother . They took me in . And it was hard and uncomfterable , but I just stopped going out stopped drinking as much . And did things for them no matter if they where mad at me or if it was awkward.i committed to being good fo them . And I knew it would take time . But little by little ive managed to accomplish all my goals . When I used to be the queen of quitting. I cant wait to see even more of what god has in store for me. And who I become . My skins cleaning up my body is losing weight I more active im healthy and im very in touch with my desires and my well being . I care and love and respect my self so so much. Its like a huge spiritual awakening. I love being alone . I dont feel like alone deserves me right now to be honest .Its gong to take a lot for me to love again but its okay . Not everyone deserves that form me anyway. I worked so hard to me this . To be who I am right now and I won’t let anyone take that away form me. You cause harm to my heart my well being just by !! If you disappoint me disrespect me or hurt me its done . You lost you dot meet my needs your not benefiting and there’s to many many and women on this planet . Ill never waist my time on the wrong one . Ever again. I respect my self to much to put someone over me! And I stand by that now and forever!!! The new be is bette then ever and its gong to take a hell of a person to change my relationship status . And that cool im honestly not even interested . I dont care to date or hang out or hook up or even have sexual contact with anyone . Im so content with me myself and this beautiful transition im goin through I just want to focus on me and my family and my health. Because this is what its all about. This is what living is. this is life. This is beauty . This is whats important. I feel like im living . And im happy and im only going to get better and better. Thank you god for this life and thank you for giving me the strength to turn the page and start a new chapter on life. I fully trust you and the processs. And that brings me back to “god will never leave you behind” I needed to learn all those things that all may mistakes have taught me . And god has a way of constantly bringing things back Into your life if it has not yet served its purpose or taught you what you needed to learn. I see that now. Positive mind set is very powerful . Loving your self is amazing and living through god is the best thing you can do . I will always you tj and I will always in some way wish there was a me and you forever .but I cant ever betray my self like that again. That door is officially closed. See I thought my life was over when you said our relationship was over. But really it had just begun. Everything happened for a reason exactly how its meant to happen . Losing you meant I could finally find my self. It just lit up the path . God bless <3 no angry im happy and im I accept this and I forgive my self and you . Life is so Beautiful .

Some one very wise once said … -Life is not about how much you hurt its about how much your willing to suffer. ~VP

Im not willing to suffer any longer. Except it feel it and then forgive and move forward.

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seriestrash · 5 years ago

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One Something in the Morning

☾ A platonic Tuffy One Shot ☾

This acts as a part 2 to So What Now? You can read this one shot without reading that but why not read some tyrus to feed your soul before the platonic tuffy that is this story?

Summary: After Andi’s party, Buffy get’s a text message from TJ in the early AM which concerns her slightly.

Word Count: 1697

(ao3)

☾ ☾ ☾

Hours after another epic Mack party wraps up, Buffy is laying in bed with a smile that’s been plastered on her face for hours. Of course the basketball captain was emotional earlier over the news that one of her very best friends would be going to a different high school but after Buffy returned home to the literal friendship shrine that was her bedroom she felt better about it. The Good Hair Crew would always be friends no matter where life took them.

Four two hours now Buffy had been laying in bed texting back and forth with Marty, giggling to herself with every passing message. It was a little after 1am and Buffy knew she ought to be going to sleep soon but her stomach was riddled with butterflies too fluttery to let her sleep.

Buffy’s phone dings again and she picks it up excitedly, expecting it to be another message from Marty even though his last one was expressing that his mother was on him to go to sleep. Instead Buffy is surprised to find TJ’s name in her notifications.

From T.J. Kippen 1:17am

Are you awake?

Buffy replies back instantly, a little worried for the late night message.

To T.J. Kippen 1:17am

Yeah. Is everything alright?

From T.J. Kippen 1:18am

I know it’s late lol but can I call you?

Buffy doesn’t respond to his text, instead she goes right ahead and calls him. TJ picks up after a single ring.

“Hey.” He says quietly.

“Hey.” Buffy also speaks quietly even though her parents were all the way at the other end of the hall and wouldn’t be bothered by the call. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah everything is fine.” TJ says with a nod even though Buffy couldn’t see him.

“Okay.” Buffy says a little relieved but she still found the call out of the ordinary. “Did you just call to say you missed me?” She adds humorously to try ease her lingering nerves.

“Yeah that’s it.” TJ laughs quietly but his chuckles taper off and the line falls silent. Buffy could tell TJ had something on his mind and she had a strong suspicion as to what but she doesn’t push, instead she tried to take some of the pressure off him and lead the conversation.

“So I have some exciting news.” Buffy says cheerily.

“Yeah?” TJ asks.

“Marty asked me to be his girlfriend tonight.” Buffy shares. “Or I asked him out- I’m not really sure but it happened.”

“Marty?” TJ plays dumb and he can almost hear Buffy roll her eyes as she scoffs.

“I know you know him. Stop pretending.” Buffy laughs.

“I was wondering when you two would finally get together.” TJ smiles to himself, “You two were so obvious back during boys team tryouts.”

“We were not!” Buffy defends, “I didn’t even like him back then.”

“Okay, sure you didn’t.” TJ mocks.

“I didn’t!” Buffy argues, “Not that I’d tell you anyway.”

“And to think I thought we were friends now.” TJ laughs.

“Surprisingly we are.” Buffy says with a small smile, “And that's why I told you.”

“Cause friends tell each other stuff...” TJ states.

“Yep.” Buffy says, “If they want to.”

“What if they want to but can’t?” TJ asks.

“Then they wait until they can.” Buffy says softly, “And when they do say something they usually feel better for it.”

“So Marty, huh?” TJ asks.

Buffy accepts that TJ might not be ready to talk and moves on. “Uh-huh,” she says with a slight giggle.

“I am happy for you.” TJ is still quiet.

“Thanks, TJ.” Buffy smiles. “Did you have fun at the party?”

TJ mumbles his response, “Mhm,” a small smile perched on his face.

“I’m happy for you too then.” Buffy says softly.

A brief moment of silence passes again and Buffy was about to fill it but TJ speaks up before she gets the chance, “I like Cyrus.” TJ is almost solemn as he says it because he’s built up his nerves about coming out to Buffy for a while now, particularly during the prior conversation.

“I like Cyrus too.” Buffy says with a small smile.

“But I like him differently and I’m pretty sure you already knew that.” TJ lets out a breath.

“I’m happy you told me.” Buffy’s smile grows wider. Whether she had her suspicions or not, it was TJ’s truth to tell.

“I am surprisingly - or not surprisingly? - happy I told you too.” TJ admits although a little uncertain about how he currently feels.

“Want to talk about it?” Buffy asks trying her very best not to be pushy.

“I don’t know, I guess.” TJ says, “I mean, I did call you at 1am.”

“Yeah, because you miss me!” Buffy laughs.

“And because I’m too chicken to tell you face to face.” TJ frowns.

“You are many things, TJ Kippen but chicken is not one of them.” Buffy laughs. “You could have texted me and it would have meant just as much.”

A few seconds later Buffy’s phone vibrates against her ear she puts TJ on speaker and pulls her cell away momentarily to see she's got a new text from the other basketball captain.

From T.J. Kippen 1:23am

I’m gay

Buffy smiles at her phone, she clicks to request video chat. TJ answers and when their line reconnects she’s met with TJ’s shy smile as he sits up in bed with a hoodie pulled up over his messy hair.

“I got your text.” Buffy says with a warm smile.

“I don’t know why I was so scared to tell you,” TJ’s own smile grows wider, “Cyrus told me you would be really supportive.”

“You’ve spoken to Cyrus?” Buffy fails to hide the wave of excitement that washes over her face.

“About him, about me, about us.” TJ nods.

Buffy was just about bursting at the seams.

“Can you at least pretend like you didn’t already know all of this?” TJ groans.

“Cyrus didn’t tell me anything.” Buffy insists. “Other than his own story.”

“I know,” TJ nods, “I spoke to him after the party and I asked if I could tell people about myself first. I just mean I know you knew I sorta maybe liked Cyrus.”

“How did you figure that?” Buffy questions.

“Lately when we’ve been hanging out you’ve kinda been looking at me in a funny way.” TJ furrows his brows, “But I also thought maybe I was just being paranoid because I was terrified of someone finding out how I felt.”

“That funny look I was giving you?” Buffy begins, “That was me hoping you liked Cyrus that way.”

“It was?” TJ raises a brow.

“I know, it’s strange right?” Buffy laughs softly, “When I first found out that Cyrus and you had become friends I was really hurt.”

“I know.” TJ frowns, “And I don’t blame you for being hurt.”

Buffy frowns too, she didn’t want to upset TJ, that wasn’t the point she was trying to get across. “You were literally the last person I ever thought Cyrus would be friends with. I mean I could understand why you wanted to be friends with him - he’s amazing,” Buffy lets out a soft laugh, “But I didn't know why he wanted to be friends with someone who was mean to me.”

“I didn’t know either, I still don’t.” TJ’s frown deepens.

“I know now. I’ve known for a while.” Buffy says warmly, “He saw the person you could be- or wanted to be- or the person you really are- He saw you. So when I say that it’s strange, I mean kind of incredible.” Buffy coaxes her head, “That I used to want very little to do with you and now I’m happy we have a lot to do with each other.”

TJ’s mouth curls into a small smile. “I know it’s not really an excuse but I think I hated myself more back then than I hated you.” TJ is very apologetic, “I’m really sorry I was such a jerk to you.”

“In a weird way, TJ I’m not sorry at all.” Buffy shrugs lightly with a smile, “Because here we are at one something in the morning and you’ve shared something so incredibly special with me.”

“I’m really happy we became friends.” TJ smiles.

“Me too.” Buffy mirrors him and after a smiley moment between them she adds, “Who would have thought us of all people would be friends?”

“Cyrus.” TJ laughs and Buffy does too.

“You’re right.” Buffy hangs her head forward as she chuckles. “Maybe I should thank him sometime.”

“Well since we’re expressing gratitude maybe I ought to thank you.” TJ says.

“Why?” Buffy furrows her brows, “What have I done?”

“You told me to get Cyrus a muffin.” TJ says with a kind smile.

Buffy is touched by such a simple statement, she didn’t want nor need any credit for what the two boys became but hearing TJ give her some tugged at her heartstrings.

“Yeah but you helped him get his own muffin instead.” Buffy smiles, “I should've seen the person you are now back then.”

TJ was in gooey overload and his constant smile made his face hurt. “I need to go,” TJ says trying to squash his smile, “Before you ruin my tough guy act for good.”

“Yeah yeah.” Buffy rolls her eyes with a smile, “Night, Captain.”

“Night, Captain.” TJ parrots with a nod and a grin.

They both hang up and settle into bed feeling lighter, TJ more so than Buffy. TJ exhales, he had told his mom, Cyrus and now Buffy all of which he was almost certain would be completely supportive prior to actually opening up but each new conversation made TJ feel like he was leaps and bounds closer towards that bigger picture he had spoken about with Cyrus.

Buffy lays in bed and shakes her head with a smile. A year and a half ago Cyrus and TJ’s friendship confused her completely, he was the last person she wanted in Cyrus’ life but now, he was one of the most important and she truly was routing for them.

☾ ☾ ☾

End Notes: This was to feed my needs as much as yours I’m sure. The platonic Tuffy friendship we deserve #s4pls

#tyrus #andi mack #platonic tuffy #tj kippen #buffy driscoll #cyrus goodman #lil bit of muffy for the soul too #muffy

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