#I just don’t have the mental and physical strength to jump on

[janeaudron]

Hate that on my off days I’m just too exhausted to do things I’d like to do.

[suskz]

no i.n. fics is crazy.. he's so pookie

well ill be the first then 😼 i.n. x reader where like, everyone in skz knows they like each other except them cause they're both stupid losers pining? make the fluff so sweet that I lose all my teeth from cavities (im mentally insane)

tyty love ya babes 💋

Just friends?

pairing: Jeongin x fem!Reader

w/c: 2,5k

t/w: fluff ; Jeongin is just a cute little baby bread ; friends can kiss ; innie is a sucker for physical touch (yours).

a/n: I’M BAAACK (I guess???) Y’ALL!! *awkward silence*. We all love soft clingy innie! I’m so, so sorry for the wait! Hope you enjoy!

It’s so sudden that both of you jump slightly in place. The door opens, and the voice is heard in the room —if not throughout the entire apartment— before the figure can even be seen: “Stop fucking!” It’s Changbin’s voice, loud and clear, “And do something useful, it’s your turn to go grocery shopping today.” His tone lowers, becoming normal.

You’re half-lying on the bed while Jeongin has his head resting on your chest and one leg thrown over yours, as you both scroll through your phones, occasionally showing each other funny videos you find.

Jeongin rolls his eyes at his words and groans, “Do we really have to?” He complains.

You, on the other hand, have flushed cheeks and try to discreetly hide your ears.

“Actually,” the older one begins, thinking, “Y/n doesn’t have to because she did it last week. You get up and go now; there’s nothing in the fridge.”

At his words, Jeongin’s hands tighten around your sweatshirt into fists, and his face snaps in your direction, “No, you’re coming with me, right?” He asks so quickly it seems desperate. And it’s phrased as a question, but you don’t really have a choice; he would take you with him anyway.

You smirk, “Aw, is baby afraid to go to the supermarket alone?” You pout at him playfully and take his face in your hands.

He pouts like a child, and you bite your lip to keep from smiling at his cuteness, but you fail, and your lips curve upward.

“Since you’re teasing me, I’ll go ask Hyunjin hyung to come with me.” He holds back from calling you a ‘jerk’, but just as he gets up, you pull him back down and place an arm over his body to stop him from leaving.

“Is baby upset now?” You hold back a laugh that would only annoy him more.

“Let me go.” He demands, even though he could easily leave on his own since you’re not really putting much strength into your hold.

“Chill, I’ll come with you.”

He doesn’t change his expression and doesn’t say anything in response. You place your hand on his head and ruffle his hair energetically, messing it up, and he starts squirming under your touch.

His eyes squeeze shut, his lips form a thin line, and his nose scrunches up.

“Get a room.” Changbin teases, and although his voice sounds disgusted, you can clearly sense the little smile on his lips.

You stop moving your hand, “We’re already in a room.” you state.

“Ah, right, I’ll just leave then.” he says just before closing the door and walking away quickly, his footsteps clearly audible to the both of you.

“I hate you.” Jeongin mutters as he fixes his hair.

“You love me.” You smile, turning your eyes back to your phone screen.

His eyes linger on you for a few seconds, his movements stopping. A sparkle passes through them, and a thought, ‘Yes, I do’, runs through his mind, but he quickly hides it, afraid that you might read it in his eyes —even though you’re not even looking at him.

He quickly settles back next to you on the bed, this time lying a bit farther from you, turned in the opposite direction from where you’re sitting. You give him a confused look, even though he can’t see you.

“I think I’ll take a nap, I’m tired.” he mutters with his eyes closed.

You don’t comment on the fact that he didn’t seem so tired a little while ago; instead, you move closer to him and place your face in front of his.

His eyes open, “What?” he asks, sounding more annoyed than he meant to.

You pucker your lips, “Aren’t you going to give me a kiss?” you ask.

“Always so demanding.” he rolls his eyes with a smirk, lifting his head slightly to give you a quick peck on the lips before resting his head back on the pillow and closing his eyes again.

You smile with satisfaction. You really find it sweet that the two of you share this kind of intimacy in friendship. You don’t even remember how it started; you just know that by now, it’s not strange to see the two of you share a quick kiss on various occasions, even in simple moments like this one.

After all, what’s a quick peck between friends?

You sit back up with him facing away from you.

And you watch him, maybe for a moment too long because he speaks, “I can see that you’re staring,” he states, “What are you daydreaming about?” he asks you with a mischievous grin.

You feel a sense of embarrassment, and your cheeks heat up. “I just want to touch your hair, it’s so soft.” you admit.

“Heh, I know. Do you like my new haircut?” he asks you with a curious smile, turning to look at you.

“Too much.” you reply, feeding off his happiness and pride.

Then, eventually, you gently thread your fingers through his soft hair, feeling him relax and lean into your touch.

You know perfectly well how much he loves having his hair stroked —even though he claims otherwise— and how much it helps him fall asleep.

You smile and decide to join him, lying down behind him and wrapping your arms around his body.

Jeongin feels his body grow warmer and his stomach flip, but he remains still and relaxes when one of your hands intertwines with his fingers, soon falling asleep in your arms.

—

“Oh, shit.” Jeongin mutters, watching the heavy rain outside from inside the supermarket.

“We don’t have an umbrella, do we?” you ask, already knowing the answer.

That’s why you find yourselves running through the heavy rain, trying to get home as quickly as possible.

You’re soaked from head to toe, and the sidewalk is so slippery that it was inevitable you’d fall.

Jeongin stops and quickly reaches you to help, “Aish, you’re so clumsy!” He bends down to give you a hand, first moving his hair out of his face.

“I’m slowing you down,” you lift your head and extend an arm towards him in a gesture of surrender, “You go on ahead, soldier; I’ll carry on when I have the strength,” you declare dramatically, “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

His stunned expression makes you burst into the laughter you were holding back. He watches the way your face crinkles and hears your voice rise so loudly that it’s clearly audible over the sound of the rain, which has become just background noise.

And it’s as if a ray of sunshine has settled right above you, just the two of you, with your clear voice managing to brighten even the worst moments.

Your laughter causes him to laugh as well, and he collapses onto the ground in front of you, ending up on his knees.

And it’s so sudden that for a moment it frightened you, that warmth you felt in your chest upon hearing his vibrant voice and seeing his almost carefree, smiling expression.

“Come on, get up now, we can’t stay here.” He says gently, helping you to your feet.

You sigh in frustration, “I can’t, my shoes are hurting my feet.” You admit, letting a small plea show in your voice, hoping he might help you, giving him puppy eyes.

And so, for the rest of the way home, he runs and you ride on his back.

He was actually about to leave you there and continue on his own, but in the end, he took pity on you after your persistent pleading.

“You’re so exhausting!” He complains when you both cross the apartment door.

You giggle, sniffling, and thank him. “I owe you a favor.”

“You say that every time.” He gives you a look, “I’m going to take a shower, don’t bother me until I’m done.”

Seungmin appears just as Jeongin is leaving, “Woah.” He turns to you, “Did you walk in the rain?”

“We ran in the rain.” You correct him, emphasizing the word ‘ran’.

“I ran in the rain.” Jeongin states before turning the corner and heading into the bathroom.

At the thought of what happened only a little while ago, you feel your cheeks strangely warm up and a sense of embarrassment spread inside you. A peculiar embarrassment, especially for something like this.

Seungmin looks at you, and something flashes in his eyes, something you haven’t seen and wouldn’t have known how to interpret, “Do you like Jeongin?” he asks suddenly, so directly.

You should deny it, you know you should, but something inside you clicks with his words; hundreds of thoughts surrounded by a cloud of doubts.

You remain silent, perhaps for a second too long, and your answer seems to confuse you even more than you already are, “I don’t know.”

—

When Jeongin is sick, he’s always so dramatic. He always claims he’s dying from a headache, feeling faint, and lacking the strength to get out of bed.

All this for just a simple cold.

This time, you think back to all those times he’s said similar things, and you consider that he might not be entirely wrong. Maybe it’s the intense sensations he experiences that are making him seem delirious.

Why else would he wrap his arms around you, holding you from behind in such an intimate and affectionate way in front of others, if not unconsciously?

Anyone could walk into the kitchen and see you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but Jeongin always claims he has a certain reputation to maintain and apparently, because of that, he can’t be too cuddly with you —though you don’t understand how that makes sense, you don’t complain about it. And Minho is even in the kitchen right now, but your sweet Jeongin doesn’t seem to care, as he rests his head on your shoulder.

“Jeongin? Shouldn’t you be in bed now?” you ask, pausing for a second from stirring the hot broth in the pot on the stove, then resuming.

“I want you to stay in bed with me.” he admits.

“You don’t need me, to rest.” you assert, secretly melting at his touch and snuggling into his embrace with heated cheeks.

“And what if I told you that I do?”

Your heart skips a beat, and if he notices you stiffen in his arms, he doesn’t say anything.

“Go on, pretend I’m not here.” Minho comments sarcastically, but he’s ignored by both of you.

Jeongin whines, “Oh, come on! Come to bed with me! What’s the harm?” He whimpers like a child.

“I’m cooking you something to make you feel better; I can’t just leave it here.” You explain to him.

“Can’t Minho hyung take care of it?” He rests his chin on your shoulder, watching the inviting warm broth, speaking of the older one as if he weren’t there with you.

“I’m still here.” Minho chimes in for the second time, perhaps a bit annoyed by his behavior, and you turn in his direction, giving him an apologetic smile on behalf of the younger one.

“Minho is teaching me the recipe. I want to cook it myself, and you’ll tell me what you think.” You place one of your hands on his, an affectionate gesture, though slightly hesitant, and he seems to lean more into you, relaxing even more.

“I want to rest my head on your chest, the sound of your heartbeat relaxes me.” He admits, ending the sentence in a whisper, and moves one of his hands to your chest, over your heart, “Oh, it’s beating a bit fast right now, are you alright?” He asks in a clearly concerned voice, turning to look at your face, but you turn your head away so he won’t see your obvious blush.

“Yes! I-I’m fine.” you stutter, shrinking away and squirming in his hold while he tries in every way to get a look at your face.

You hate how insistent he can be at times like this.

“Alright, lovebirds, at least try not to kiss in front of me; have some mercy on my eyes.” Minho rolls his eyes but can’t hide the grin forming on his lips.

“We’ve already done it.” Jeongin reminds him, and you ponder on whether you should feel embarrassed or just treat it as the normal thing it is —at least for the two of you.

Jeongin thinks you need a reminder, so he cups your chin in his hand, gently placing his fingers on your cheeks, and presses his lips to yours. It’s such a quick, chaste, simple gesture; so usual, yet you feel quivers in your stomach, a gentle flutter that whispers things you don’t feel ready to admit to yourself, voices you’re afraid to listen to.

When he pulls away, he has a proud grin on his lips, and you feel a strong urge to hit him in the face. But with your lips. Gently. Because you want more this time; more of him, his soft pink lips, the warmth his body gives you, that silly but beautiful face.

Shit.

“Wipe that dumb smile off your face.” you say playfully, pulling away and returning to that damn broth.

“But you love this dumb face, admit it.”

‘Yes, I do’ is what you want to say, but it’s maybe because of what you felt a moment ago that you avoid letting those words leave your lips. “You’d better go back to your room before you start feeling worse.” You warn him.

“Come to think of it, I’m feeling dizzy.” Jeongin says, cursing under his breath. He follows your advice and heads back to his room, but not before throwing you one last look, saving that cute, rare moment of concentration —now focused on the broth— in his mind, with a bittersweet smile on his lips.

“Go to him,” you look up at Minho, who had already been watching you. A little smile forms on his lips, “I saw how you look at each other, and I’m never wrong,” he explains, “Now come on, go to him.” Minho gently but insistently pushes you out of the kitchen.

It was too indirect for you to be entirely convinced by what he said, but you hope it’s what you think. You don’t know when this started, why it happened, or if what you feel is real.

But every doubt seems to disappear from your mind when those words leave his glossy lips in the darkness of his room, his chest firmly pressed against your back, his warm breath on your neck, his arms wrapped around your body in a hold that whispers a fear of losing you.

And you don’t know if they are truly meant or if they came out in a moment of confusion and he actually meant something with a lesser meaning.

But what you know is that you feel exactly what was softly whispered into your ear —words said with a barely audible voice that you felt as a scream.

“I’m in love with you.”

[mjolnirswriststrap]

Just Another Notch

Masterlist Part 2/?? Part 3

Bucky Barnes x Plus Size F!Reader

Summary: If Bucky thinks his charms will work on you, then you’re gonna put up one hell of a fight to prove him wrong.

Word Count: 1,711

Warnings: None, but will contain explicit content 18+, in future chapters, read at your own discretion.

Your alarm didn’t wake you, it was a loud knocking at your door. You jump up, tapping your phone screen to see that it was only 6am. Now you’re gonna be groggy all morning, your alarm was set for 6:45. You trudge to your door, ready to rip down whoever it was that woke you up. When you open the door you see Bucky with bright eyes, two coffees in hand. You quickly read the label and see that it’s your favorite cafe in Brooklyn. How did he get coffee from there this early?

“Good morning.” He chirps out, reaching one of the paper cups forward. You cross your arms in front of you, refusing the coffee. “How can I help you?” You say curtly. You take in his attire, he was ready for training. You could almost laugh, him and Steve take their sponsorships too seriously, can’t be seen exercising in anything other than Under Armor.

“I still felt bad about last night and thought, maybe I could repay you by helping you get a head start today.” The smirk on his lips did nothing to ease your agitated mood. “I said we’re even, it’s fine.” You say, wondering if he was being genuine. It was far too early for all of this. You rub your sleep filled eyes, pushing your hair behind your ears. “Anything else?” You say, wanting to get some more sleep before the day of literal hell you were about to endure. Physically, you were the apex, but mentally and strategically, not so much.

You couldn’t wield a gun, you’d been studying a makeshift dictionary of all the military terms Steve and Bucky say during missions. You couldn’t take directions. Besides overpowering the strongest guy in Kansas during a championship, you’d never learned how to combat fight. You have no clue where to hit someone or how hard so you don’t do fatal damage. You were written up on your first mission.

Your adrenaline was pumping and you thought the gunman was bigger than what he was, causing you to dent his chest in, instantly killing him. The punch was meant to lay him out, not kill him. You’d been reminded time and time again during initial training that the goal was to subdue, shield rehabilitates these criminals.

So now training was mainly a mental game for you. Sizing people up, you were no use against magicians or witches but physically, you worked hard to discern people’s capabilities. You’d never trained with Bucky or Steve before. You’d never fought against a super soldier, you couldn’t even imagine their strength. Therefore, you’d never opted to train with them.

“No, I’m sorry for waking you.” He says, his eyes tell a completely different story. But you hear some sincerity in his voice. Maybe you were being too harsh to him. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, yet. You were the one who assumed he was drunk, you were the one who enjoyed him innocently helping you clean his mess. If you put aside all your wild ideas, Bucky had actually been very nice to you.

While no one had made any progress in talking to you or really even introducing themselves, Bucky was willing to sit with you and enjoy a bowl of cereal, alone. No other outside force willing him to be there. He’d apologized after spilling milk on you, helped clean it. He wasn’t even looking, and you were speed walking behind him, what if it truly was just an accident. Here you were being rude to the only person who’s shown you kindness.

You wanted to hit yourself. Mentally you were painting your back porch red. Guilt was slowly filling you as you watch him drop his head, nodding as if he’s finally realizing the situation, you wanted him to leave. But not anymore, “Let me get dressed, 5 minutes!” You wait for him to look up at you before you close the door in his face, you could see his smile return, but this time it looked triumphant and genuine.

You want to play this game with him, you knew that much. So why not make a big move and wear your new sports bra set with matching spandex shorts. You’d never worn just a sports bra, and always wore leggings. Your best friend convinced you that you looked good in it, so Nike gladly took your money. This would surely prove your suspicion, were his intentions innocent?

You looked in the mirror, pushing and pulling at your breast in the tight spandex. Your cleavage had to be perfect for this to work. You rolled down the waistband of the shorts, letting it show off your curves. You run to the bathroom to do your morning routine. Walking out of your door in less than the 5 minutes you estimated. You had no idea why you had such a pep in your step. As if you were rushing back to him.

“Thanks.” You say taking the coffee from his hands. He stands there frozen as you turn for the elevator, he watches your ponytail sway across your shoulders, then he lets his eyes travel down, to see your back dimples on display. This one he would fight for, his improvised plan didn’t work last night, he’ll admit his ego was hurt a little by his advances not working. So he gave you another chance with coffee this morning.

It almost didn’t work, he was showing real sadness when you rejected him again, but out of self pity, not because you were being rude. But it worked, and you folded. Judging by the way you’re dressed, he knew you were playing along with him. He would win in the end, he always does. Besides, you’d be an adversary opponent and the best prize.

You wish you could’ve told him black coffee wasn’t really your style, but you had too much pride, sipping it empty on the way down to the training floor. Bucky would probably go left to the gym, and you’ll go right, to the simulation room. It was handy for someone like you. Training with real people was a liability, so holograms it was. “See you later.” You nod to him.

“Where you going? I thought we were training together.” He sounds disappointed. “Oh you meant like the two of us? I thought it was a wake up call, not an invite.” You scratch the back of your neck, kind of embarrassed. “I figured you could use the change of scenery.” He laughs.

You follow him into the gym, a place you’d only been once, during the orientation tour. It was huge, needing the capacity to handle super hero’s being thrown around. Bucky walks over to a bench, setting down his coffee cup and shedding his windbreaker jacket. You toss your empty cup in the trash can beside the door, slowly walking up to him. “So what did you have in mind?” You ask, nervous as to what exactly you had gotten yourself into.

“First some basic warm up drills, then I figured I could help you with that strength depth perception.” He grabs two jump ropes from the wall and tosses one your way. “Fury was worried about you at the last meeting.” You roll your eyes, of course he was.

“I didn’t know you discussed me at meetings.” You say, starting to jump rope. He joins you a second later, going miles faster than you. “We discuss everything, especially things that could be a liability.”. He wasn’t wrong, it rubbed you wrong that you couldn’t defend yourself at these meetings. But you understood why they did it, you killed a man.

“Right.” You huff out, stopping and dropping the jump rope, you had no endurance. Bucky continues for another minute, the rope turning into a blur as it whizzed around him. You ran the track around the perimeter of the gym, till you legs felt like jelly. Again, Bucky kept going, literally running laps around you.

When he came to a jog in place in front of you, you took in the fact that no sweat had formed on his brow, meanwhile you left a puddle in the floor when you stood up. “Okay, let’s start with defense.” He brings his fist to face level and you match his stance. “We both know you have offense covered. But what about protecting yourself. Other people are strong too.” He made a good point.

You had beginners luck, dodging the first punch Bucky threw at your stomach. The second, not so much. You suck in a breath when his metal fist makes contact with your rib. “You’re supposed to block!” He sounds upset, like he was the one who just got hurt. “Yeah I got that.” You wheeze out, dropping to your knees, clutching your stomach.

Just as you’ve almost composed yourself the door to the gym swings open. “Are you ready for complete destruction, son?” It’s Steve walking in, but his face immediately drops when he sees you. “Excuse me.” He’s obviously embarrassed. You just look at Bucky and try to hold in a laugh. “Seriously?” You whisper, his cheeks are red but he nods.

“I’ll take that as my cue.” You say, waddling over to the vending machine in the corner. The blue on the Aquafina label reflected in your eye. You’re gonna die if you don’t get a drink. You tap your Apple Watch to the card reader, typing in A5, as you watch your water bottle be mechanically maneuvered around through a glass window you hear whispering. “She needs a snack already?”

You don’t know who said it, just that someone did, you didn’t turn around. Preferring to pretend it didn’t happen, you grab the water from the machine, drinking the whole thing in a couple chugs. You smash it between your hands, completely flattening it to the width of paper. It was loud, the cracking of the plastic, it silenced their hushed words. As you toss it into the trash can beside the door, you turn around and address both men.

“Thirst and hunger are two different things, wouldn’t you say?” And you leave, pushing past Natasha in the hallway as you make your way to the simulation room.

Taglist: @cjand10 @winterslove1917 @honestlywork @calwitch

[gaywarcriminals]

Qijiu Findom is Canon

So we've all seen this scene, right?

This scene is a fundamental piece of YQY characterization to me. There's a lot to be said about how this ties into YQY's desire to protect, provide for, and spoil SJ, but today I am here to talk about how this man would be really into financial domination. I truly can't believe that only one such qijiu fic exists (thank you to kat8cha I owe you my life). 

The core tenants of my qijiu findom manifesto are as follows: 

YQY doesn’t like spending money on himself 

YQY belongs to SJ

YQY loves providing for SJ 

SJ would rather take than receive

(Most of this post is more headcanon than directly evidenced, but I think it’s a logical jump from canon!)

YQY doesn’t spend money on himself 

This was the starting point of my thinking when I started spinning qijiu findom in my brain back in 2022. Yue Qingyuan, in my opinion, doesn’t like taking care of himself. I think he’s better about taking care of his physical needs to some degree because he’s aware that the consequences of him passing out or qi deviating would affect more than just himself, but his motivation is a.) to be a well functioning machine capable of fulfilling his role as sect leader, and b.) to Not Fuck Up. (One of adult YQY’s core traits is that he lives in perpetual fear of fucking up. More on that another day). Aside from the risk of heart demons damaging his cultivation, YQY doesn’t see any possible consequences to neglecting his mental health. 

And so, does YQY really deserve a comfortable bed? Does he really need any nice wall hangings in the parts of his home that guests will never see? The only seemingly indulgent purchases YQY makes are those needed to uphold his image as sect leader, like fine clothes and hair oils. Those are functionally business expenses, because YQY is aware that how he presents himself reflects on the entire sect. (SJ surely doesn’t see it that way— he only sees YQY putting on the affects of nobles and spending money like water, as bad as any of the natal lords in this sect). In the modern era, YQY would come home, take off his perfectly tailored suit, and flop face first onto his bare mattress on the floor.

YQY’s everything belong to SJ

I think that if SJ had asked, YQY would be willing to give him basically anything he owned. Fundamentally, YQY puts SJ’s life before his own. He would not have walked into near-certain death long after SJ became irredeemable to the rest of the cultivation world if that was not the case. Yue Qingyuan literally offers SJ his life. 

YQY would die if he thought it would make SJ happy. If YQY’s life and the sword that is his life can be forfeited to SJ, what’s a bit of money, or the material possessions that YQY cares little for? What’s his is SJ’s, and if it would make SJ happy, YQY would not hesitate to hand over whatever SJ asked for. 

YQY likes taking care of people.

Although the fanon of YQY being overly solicitous and constantly pushing gifts on SJ contracts canon (as far as I can tell, there's not a single instance in the novel of specfically Yue Qingyuan giving SQQ a gift-- at most, there's references to all the peak lords doing so), I think there’s a little truth to it— if YQY thought SJ would allow him to, he would absolutely give SJ whatever he thought the man might like or need. I would go as far as to say that he probably longs to do so. He is a service dog, after all.

Yue Qingyuan most often expresses his affection as protecting, taking care of, or expressing concern for others. Most of his 'wet puppy in the rain' moments in canon are not due to his own misery, but because he is concerned for SJ or SQQ. Yue Qingyuan is bad at existing for his own sake; he is constantly shown to be putting others and the sect above himself, and none more so than SJ. Personally. I don’t think this is just due to YQY’s strength of character. I think he gains a sense of purpose and identity from being the one to protect and take care of others. There is a reason I say YQY had eldest daughter syndrome: he needs someone to take care of For His Health.

Being allowed to give or buy things for SJ, or have SJ use YQY's assets to buy things himself, would fulfill YQY's needs. It would give him vital enrichment. After their long estrangement where SJ constantly ignores YQY, someone as simple as being able to express affection by providing for SJ would literally be a privilege to YQY. 

That's all well and good, but doesn't that just mean YQY's wants to be SJ's sugar daddy? Why do I specify findom instead? Well that's where we get to SJ.

SJ would be suspicious of gifts

SJ is a paranoid person, and many gifts come with some expectation of reciprocity. I think SJ’s ability to appreciate gifts would be hampered by his immediate unasked question: “what do you want from me?”. While gifts for Peak Lord Shen may pose less of an issue, as he’s able to quickly identify the motives from deference to bribery, gifts to Shen Jiu The Person may pose more of an issue, as the lack of a clear motive besides expressing affection leaves room for SJ’s mind to invent one. Honestly, SJ reacts similarly to most kindness— he himself is so rarely kind without a motive, so it’s hard for him to imagine that others might not be the same. (Any kindness Xiao Jiu showed his Qi-ge doesn’t count— SJ was only protecting what belonged to him 😤).

Because of this twisty brain maze he’s made for himself, SJ is far more comfortable taking something than receiving it. SJ learned as a child that he will be given nothing, and that taking things is necessary for survival, and he had no compunctions about it. Taking is an act of initiative and aggression: taking is winning. I actually think this is how he framed begging in his mind— by thinking of it as tricking people, he gets to feel like he’s won or stolen something, rather having to linger in the pity. 

Gifts, affection, and love can all be given this treatment. If SJ tricked YQY into loving him and must now cling to his rightfully earned possession, SJ needn’t address his own feelings. If YQY’s money is something SJ takes, he gets to feel like he’s taking advantage of YQY instead of having to feel like he’s reliant on YQY or like he's YQY's charity case.

SJ is a massive control freak, and he is always most comfortable in a relationship when he can tell himself he’s in control of the  dynamic, even if that makes the relationship appear unhealthy to an outside observer. Once YQY catches on to this, he would do absolutely everything he could to accommodate SJ (without SJ realizing he’s being accommodated ofc).

In short, YQY leaves his wallet on the nightstand, SJ takes or “steals” it and buys some overpriced designer good he doesn’t need, silently daring YQY to challenge him on it, and they both feel fulfilled by this. 

This is what peak performance looks like.

(Side note: there are a couple other ways to execute a findom for dynamic for qijiu! The main two I can think of are "Stupid Qi-ge’s money is so easy to steal: obviously I must steal it First, and use it Better, to Protect Him." and "Stupid Qi-ge is languishing/never takes care of himself. I must take his money and use it to force him to do self care." My tastes run angstier tho 😂)

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman - Part 4

Ona Batlle x Lucy Bronze

Alternate Universe : Military School

Words : 6k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Monday, October 12; 9:20 AM - In Class

Exactly one week ago, I left Barcelona to join this school. I am slowly getting used to this new environment, even though it's not easy every day. Right now, I'm in my second hour of class, chatting quietly with Alexia. She is no longer as uptight and serious as she was at the beginning. We laugh and talk a lot. It's become a bad habit since we tend to lose focus on the lessons and get scolded by our teachers. Our laughter mingles with the sound of footsteps echoing in the hallway. The thick walls pick up every sound when the door is open. No one pays attention until there's a knock at the door. Silence reigns, except for my laughter, which I can't suppress. This earns me a stern look from my teacher, who walks towards the door to invite the unknown visitor in. He wouldn't have needed to bother when I see that it is my furious supervisor. Everyone shrinks back as she visually scans the room until she locks eyes with me. Her eyes narrow and turn black with anger. Alexia has to nudge me to stop my hysterical laughter.

“Sorry for the interruption, Mr. Smith,” she begins without averting her eyes. “I just need to take a student who won’t be returning for the rest of the day. Could you inform your colleagues?”

“Oh, uh... Yes, of course, Miss Bronze.”

Even my teacher is intimidated by her. Pathetic. I understand better why my reputation has skyrocketed in just one week. Most people already know me as the brave student who dares to stand up to the commander. I am tired of this charade. I look to my neighbor for support, but she seems paralyzed by what’s happening. She recoils when Bronze slams her flat hands on my desk, making me jump. Our faces are just inches apart when I turn my head towards her.

“Hey!” I exclaim indignantly. “Be careful with the school property, come on!”

“Shut up, Ona. Just shut up if you don’t want to make me even angrier,” she threatens. “Pack your things. Now!”

She’s really fired up today! I’ve never seen her this angry or heard her use such a disdainful tone. I smile as I gather my things. I must not have been quick enough for her because she grabs my bag from the floor and starts packing my notebook herself while I collect my pens in my pencil case. I barely have time to close it before she snatches it from my hands and throws it into the bag. She shoves it against my chest so hard that my chair slides back from the impact.

“I hope you're ready because I won't spare you today. Move it, let's go.”

I barely have time to put on my camo jacket and sling my bag over my shoulder before she pushes me down the aisle to lead the way. I don’t resist and, more importantly, I don’t talk back. I barely dare to when she’s calm, so doing it now would be like challenging the devil himself. I’ve spent enough time with her last week to know her coldness and strength. I clearly don’t measure up, mentally or physically. I wait in the hallway while she apologizes for the disruption to my teacher. When she rejoins me, I instinctively lower my head to avoid her eyes. I might have pulled off the best trick of my life, but facing her imposing presence, I already dread what’s coming next.

“I don’t know how you managed to do what you did, but you’re in deep trouble!” she scolds.

The thought of denying it crosses my mind, but it wouldn’t help. My silence prompts her to pull my arm to move forward. She still holds me the same way, but this is the first time she’s hurt me this much. She’s really furious. I struggle to keep up with her pace. I say nothing, fearing she might speed up if I complain... But then, damn it, I shouldn’t just take it!

“It’s not like I didn’t warn you that I’d get revenge.”

She stops abruptly, making me instinctively step back after bumping into her. I regret my words the second her icy green eyes pierce through me. I swallow hard.

“You’re really just a poor idiot!” she spits. “You don’t understand anything! You want to play the one who’ll face the worst revenge? Fine, let’s play then! Now I don’t want to hear a word from you until I say so!”

My eyes widen in surprise. I already regret my unnecessary provocation. We reach the first floor of the instructors' dorms. She releases her painful grip only when we arrive at room 7. She roughly pushes me into the room I’ve recently become familiar with. I barely avoid falling headfirst due to her strength. It seems I deserve it now that I see the state of her place. Her room has the same furniture as mine. The only difference is the layout. She has a double bed – which looks more comfortable than my single bed – and her wardrobe stands next to the window. As for the desk, it’s on the opposite side.

“You’re going to tidy up this mess!” she exclaims. “I want everything back in its place! Not a single thing out of order, understood?”

“Don’t you like your new room? I think it’s pretty nice.”

“Don’t push me, Batlle. You don’t even realize what a slippery slope you’re on.”

Oh, I realize it, but it’s worth it. It’s all her fault. I warned her I would get revenge for what she made me endure.

“You shouldn’t have taken my phone and computer!” I retorted.

“And you shouldn’t have disrespected your superiors!” she raises her voice. “Clean up this mess!”

She drags the desk chair to the entrance and sits down. I watch her for a moment, quickly understanding that she will stay here until I finish. I sigh as I assess the extent of the damage. Her anger is justified, but so is mine. I rummaged through her stuff as much as she did through mine to find my hidden electronics. I am proud of my revenge idea.

Our relationship has deteriorated since the shower incident. She hasn't stopped punishing me for the slightest infraction. The first was for being late to my sports class on Thursday morning. As expected, I was sent to Bronze's office. Her decision was radical... I had two hours of personal training doing laps around the field.

Add to that my morning delays, which my bed continues to cause. For that, I got dishwashing duties in the cafeteria on Thursday and Friday after every meal. The upside was being assisted by Leah, who received the same punishment from Engen, Bronze's partner, for skipping classes. Time passed faster. We even ended our last day with a water fight that Bronze interrupted. I thought we would extend our punishment, but in the end, she just scolded us for being soaked and told us to clean up our mess.

I accepted all of this without complaint because it was expected. What I couldn't tolerate was her confiscating all my electronics behind my back just before the weekend. It didn’t take me long to notice and tell her what I thought. She justified her action by keeping her cool. It turns out she had learned about my inattentive and provocative behavior in class. She wanted to make me reflect over the weekend when my outing pass was denied. However, my cheekiness made her change her mind, and she decided to return my things at an unspecified time, more precisely when I had calmed down, according to her.

Because of her, I was irritated all weekend to the point of conducting my little investigation during her absence. My first idea was to find her room to recover my belongings. The problem was, I found nothing while searching it. I then changed my plans, not wanting to waste the opportunity. I knew it would drive her crazy to know I was here, so I emptied her wardrobe and all her drawers, scattering everything around. Surprisingly, I discovered nothing valuable. I expected her to look for me earlier this morning, but she must have been absent since it was Engen who checked our room. It’s a shame because Bronze missed my first-ever achievement of being ready on time. It takes me a good hour to finish cleaning her room. I intended to collapse onto the desk, but she stops me in my tracks.

“Uh-uh. Change the sheets on my bed while you’re at it.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

“I’m sorry, OK?” I grumble. “I get it, I crossed the line! I just wanted to get my laptop and phone back!”

“You don’t get it at all,” she says in a dismissive tone. “You’re just trying to weasel your way out. If you really understood the lesson, you wouldn’t be talking back!”

I stay silent, faced with the truth. Her words won’t make me regret my actions. I step back as she gets up from her chair. I expected her to do something, but she just walks past me to get new sheets. So she wasn’t joking. I don’t hide my boredom.

“Come on, make my bed,” she encourages. “Then we’ll leave.”

“Again?” I sigh.

“You’re mine for the day. I plan to make you endure things that will make you think twice before pulling your next stunt.”

I go to her to get a sports uniform that she hands me. It's a new one that she must have picked up from the stock. I lock myself in her bathroom, a room I hadn't even thought to check. It's newer than mine. It has a sink with a larger countertop and a big mirror. My small shower cubicle doesn't compare to her huge walk-in shower behind the toilet. I stop making comparisons and place the clothes I'm wearing next to her sink to replace them with sweatpants, a t-shirt, and my jacket. I might need it if we stay outside. I don't linger and rejoin Bronze, who hasn't moved from her spot since earlier.

"What should I do with my uniform?" I asked.

"Where did you put it?"

"Folded next to the sink."

"Leave it there; you'll put it back on later."

I nodded, and she jumped off her desk. We headed out to the multi-sport fields. I didn’t wait for her orders to go to the edge of the field, ready to run. Her grip finally stopped me.

"We’re not starting with that today. First, you’re going to do fifty push-ups," she ordered.

"What? But there’s mud everywhere!"

"So what? At least next time, you’ll remember not to mess with me."

"Please-"

"No, Ona. Stop arguing! I’m already very patient with you, so don’t ask me to be even more patient because it’s not possible!"

"I can't do them..." I finally admitted in a whisper.

"Pardon?"

"I’ve never managed to do them," I said louder, avoiding her eyes.

"Well, you’re going to learn now. Come on, get on the ground, I'll help you."

I sighed but obeyed, looking for a spot with less mud. I could only blame myself for this punishment. My knees weren’t spared, but at least I avoided stains on other parts. I fell onto my hands and extended my legs to stay elevated. It was hard to hold. Even more so when I felt my supervisor's hands on my waist. I tensed, but I held on to avoid making her pull back immediately.

"Relax. I just want to position you correctly, okay?" she said.

I nodded at her explanation. I tried to relax, but it was hard. Her presence was unsettling. One of her hands slid under my belly while the other was on my shoulder to straighten me up.

"Don’t move your back. I’m going to reposition your legs, so try to hold your position."

She unexpectedly grabbed one of my ankles. My body reacted by keeping it on the ground. Again, she asked me to let go. Once I did, she brought my ankle closer to the other until they were almost touching. When she announced I was good, my arms gave out. I ended up flat on my stomach in the mud, growling in frustration.

"It’s okay. You’re just not used to working your arms," she explained. "Try to get back into position like I just showed you."

I nodded and got back on my hands and feet. My position must have been correct since she didn’t have to adjust much. Just my back, which was rounded again.

"Do them with motivation. I’d like you to find a regular rhythm if possible."

"It’s going to be hard," I mumbled.

"That’s the point. I want you to feel your body heating up tomorrow and think of me, remembering why I made you do this."

"I get the lesson, Bronze," I tried.

"No, you don’t. Do something like this again, and it’s going to be worse for you. It won’t just be push-ups and laps around the field next time. Do we agree?"

"Yes..."

Throughout this, I was still holding myself up on my arms. They started to shake from lack of strength. Bronze was no longer angry, but her voice remained firm. She wanted me to submit, and she was getting it. I was at her feet in every sense of the word. I was on the verge of giving up, but she ordered me to hold on. I really had to dig deep mentally to manage it.

"I want you to understand that if I give you a sanction, it’s not for my pleasure. Every punishment has its reasons."

"I understand..."

"No, not yet," she replied. "But it will come."

"I’m telling you I un-"

"I said no," she cut me off harshly. "Do you understand that I’m not against you?"

My silence spoke volumes about my thoughts. No, that I didn’t understand. To me, she was holding me back, so she was against me. I just wanted to be left alone and live my life. Bronze did the opposite by always coming down on me.

"Then you don’t understand," she concluded. "You’ll understand the meaning of your sanctions when you accept that I’m not the villain. Anyway, let’s get back to where we were. Start your push-ups. You’ll even count them out loud for me. I’ll reduce them to thirty since it’s your first time. Okay?"

"Yes, Bronze."

"Let’s go. One!"

I groaned at the sound of the first number. I bent my arms and pushed to try and lift myself. In vain. I fell pitifully to the ground. If I had been in Bronze’s place, I would have laughed at myself, but she didn’t. Instead, she encouraged me to try again with more effort. I’d like to see her try! If she had my body, she’d understand my struggle. I didn’t doubt hers was very athletic. I tried again, putting all my strength into it. I shouted the number in a victorious cry when I managed the push-up. I was back on the ground the next second. I felt my morning was going to be very long...

Monday, October 12; 1:10 p.m. - Bathroom.

I was washing my hands for the second time to remove the dried mud that was hard to get off. The sky had been clear this morning, but yesterday’s rain hadn’t spared me. I had just finished my punishment. Bronze was leaning against the sink next to me, watching me with a mocking smile. I didn’t see what was funny. I was covered in mud, both my clothes and the few inches of visible skin. Don’t even mention my face. I had fallen countless times during the push-ups. My record was probably three in a row.

"Are you okay?" she asked cheerfully. "Let me help you."

"No, it’s fine."

"Oh, stop being a killjoy and let me help."

She tore off a piece of paper towel meant for drying hands and wet it. I tried to take it, but she slapped my fingers. I realized too late that she had trapped me between the faucet and her. I grumbled as she wiped the wet paper on my face.

"I could have done it."

"I’m trying to be nice; can’t you tell?"

I smiled slightly, averting my eyes. I let her continue, crossing my arms. She might be nice in real life, but not with me.

"Stop pouting."

"I’ll pout if I want to."

"Child."

I looked at her indignantly. I doubted an instructor had the right to insult a student. She probably allowed herself because it was unlikely anyone would believe me if I reported her.

"I give myself every right with you, and you’re probably right. No one would believe you."

"Did I speak out loud?"

"It seems so," she smiled. "Don’t move; I’ll be right back."

It was hard to leave with my face dripping water. She got another paper towel to dry my face before throwing it away. I looked in the mirror to admire her work. I thanked her as she washed her hands. I would have liked to change before eating, but Bronze had made it clear it wasn’t possible if we still wanted to be served. It would be the last straw if we couldn’t eat when she planned to keep me this afternoon. I wouldn’t last without something in my stomach. We arrived at an empty cafeteria. Fortunately, the cook offered to reheat a meal for each of us. He probably felt sorry for my appearance. I went first in line and greeted the staff I had recently worked with. They were all super nice. Once served, I went to my usual spot among all the empty tables. I flopped down on my chair, taking a deep breath. This break would finally let me relax. The soreness was already setting in. At the same time, she hadn’t gone easy on me. She had pushed me to the limit, though she admitted holding back. It was a good lesson. I wasn’t going to anger her anytime soon.

"Can I sit?"

I swallowed my bite with difficulty, nodding. I hadn’t expected her to join me. After all, it was just the two of us. It would be ridiculous to eat at two different tables. My break would be less restful than I had imagined.

"I’m here if you ever feel the need to talk," she said, surprising me.

I look up at her two emeralds that disturb me so much. She shows no hint of joking. This isn't the first time she's told me she wants to help. It seems she still doesn't understand that I don't want it, that I can't. It's beyond my strength.

"No, it's okay, thanks. It's not my thing."

"But it would do you good."

"You don't know me, you have no idea," I retorted coldly.

"You're right. So tell me about yourself."

"I don't see why it matters to you. It's been a long time since anyone's taken an interest in me. It's not going to change now."

"I care about you. You owe me that much after what you've put me through. Let's start with something basic. Do you have a passion, perhaps?"

She never gives up. I just found someone even more stubborn than me. I didn't think it was possible. I relax my shoulders and resign myself to answering her.

"I like art. Sometimes I draw."

"Draw?" she repeats, surprised.

"Yeah... It lets me express myself on paper and clear my head," I argued.

"But you don't have any drawing supplies in your room."

"I knew you searched my room!" I exclaimed.

"I didn't search, she rolls her eyes, exasperated. I just looked for your devices."

"You searched!"

"Okay... I searched if you want. Now answer me. Why don't you have any drawing supplies?"

"I thought I'd have access to downtown, but that's not the case."

I've only been here a week, but I admit I miss my pencils. It was my way of clearing my mind before sleeping. Now I listen to music or go on the computer. At least... I used to.

"When can I get my things back?" I asked.

"I don't know," she replies. "We could make a deal."

"A deal?"

"Yeah, we've made one before. I'm ready to give them back to you in exchange for something."

"It depends on what you're proposing..." I said, skeptical.

"Okay. Hmm... How about I give you your things back on Friday if you're on time every morning this week?"

"Really?" I asked enthusiastically.

"It's not the end of the world, is it?" she asks, tilting her head. "I'm not even asking you to stop your other nonsense. Just to be ready in the morning."

"Deal," I agreed, extending my hand.

She looks surprised at my quick response. She shakes my hand firmly. I wouldn't have agreed to the deal if I wasn't sure of myself. I know I can do it.

"And if I fail?"

"We'll extend the deal to the following week. Again and again until you succeed."

"I'll succeed."

"You seem very confident," she says with a smile.

"I practiced making my bed perfectly this weekend," I tell her. "It shouldn't be a problem anymore."

"Well, we'll see if your training pays off. In any case, keep it up, I prefer this behavior."

I smile shyly, lowering my head. I'm not used to being praised. It was quite the opposite in recent years.

"Miss Bronze, I've finally found you!"

I straighten up as I see the director approaching us. Bronze was her entire focus until she saw me. She furrows her brows and turns back to my supervisor when she reaches us.

"Ona has been causing trouble again by not being in class at this time?"

"You could say that," she replies. "Nothing too serious."

Why is she lying? I turned an instructor's room upside down - hers, to be exact. I don't think Wiegman would call that "nothing too serious." She just sighs.

"Fine, if you say so. Are you busy this afternoon?"

"I decided to keep Ona with me," she admits. "Do you need me?"

"Actually, we're missing quite a few things for tonight's meeting. A buffet was supposed to be arranged, but nothing is going right. I'd like you to make a trip to town."

I observe the exchange attentively. My supervisor seems annoyed. She has a habit of running her hand through her hair when something displeases her. She must not appreciate Wiegman changing her plans at the last minute.

"Alright, but I have one condition."

"Which is?"

"That you allow me to take her with me," she says, pointing at me.

I'm as surprised as Wiegman by her request. Nothing would make me happier than for her to take me to town. All I want is to get out of this place, even for just five minutes. The director doesn't share my enthusiasm judging by her expression.

"Is that necessary?"

"Yes," she says, crossing her arms. "I want to keep an eye on her."

"Fine, but you'd better be careful. This is the first time I'm allowing a student to leave the establishment in the middle of the week."

"That's my intention, mam," she replies promptly. "I prefer knowing she's with me rather than leaving her alone here, unsupervised."

"Alright, I trust you anyway. Here's the list of what we need," she says, handing it to her. "Thanks again."

She turns away without waiting for a response. I can hardly believe what just happened. Bronze asked for me to accompany her to town. I can't believe it. I'm going to be able to leave this place! I thought she wanted to skin me alive after what I did to her.

"Wipe that smile off your face," she says, which makes me lose it. "I just don't want to leave you alone. You lost my trust the moment you entered my room."

"I promise you I regret it. At least... Not at first, but now I do."

"Whatever. You've just earned having me more on your back. It's time you got used to my presence, Ona, because you and I won't be parting from now on."

I swallow hard. If she intends to make me regret my mistake, she's already succeeded. She lets me finish my dessert before we clear our trays. Not knowing what to do or where to go, I follow her. We first return to her room where she asks me to put on my uniform.

"Put the one you're wearing in my laundry basket. I'll have it washed."

"When will you stop giving me orders?" I muttered under my breath.

"When you stop doing things your own way."

I thought she wouldn't hear me... I was wrong! She surprises me by giving me a kick in the butt to prompt me to enter the bathroom. I don't hesitate to go. I can finally take off these clothes. I put everything in her laundry basket, as she asked, then I put on my uniform. I come out fixing my messy hair. Bronze is waiting for me patiently on her bed.

"Can we go?"

"Yep."

We head out, passing the cafeteria on foot. I discover a place behind the gym hidden by trees. It's a large parking lot. Bronze unlocks a car from a distance with the key. I think I'm dreaming when I see the orange lights flashing on a black Audi A5.

"Is this your car?"

"Whose else would it be?"

"Well, I don't know... Maybe your boyfriend's."

She smiles slightly, shaking her head. I get into her car, forgetting her answer. I'm in an Audi! I've always had a soft spot for this brand. It has an undeniable class. To think my supervisor owns one. I'm jealous. The interior is equipped with black leather seats more comfortable than my own bed. It has just the right amount of space. I love it! She drives without exceeding second gear to reach the entrance. I'm sure she has a sports package given how the car purrs. I have no doubt when she takes off furiously down the street, leaving me completely pressed into the seat.

"It's mine," she snapped.

"So, no boyfriend then?" I asked playfully. "Not surprising, given your commanding attitude."

"Shut up," she retorted with a slight smile. "I might not know much about you, but you know nothing about me."

"Exactly, I told you something about me. You could do the same."

"No. I don't trust you anymore, and anyway, the rules forbid me from talking about my private life."

I sighed in frustration, settling into the seat. The trip continued in silence as I distracted myself with the scenery. Only houses passed by. It’s always better than the dilapidated walls of the camp. I'm seeing Manchester for the first time. I was so on edge when I arrived that I didn’t pay attention to the outside. We arrived at the supermarket parking lot, where she parked with a view of downtown buildings in the distance. She got out of the car while I looked at the supermarket. It seemed huge, almost double the size of the one I'm used to in Barcelona. I jumped when Bronze knocked on my window.

"Move it, we don't have all day."

Always so friendly... I unbuckled the seatbelt that still held me hostage as she opened the door for me. I grabbed what I recognized as a shopping cart token.

"Where should I get this?" I asked.

"We're going together; I’m not leaving you alone."

The opposite would have been strange. We grabbed a cart at the entrance, and unsurprisingly, I was the one tasked with pushing it. We entered the supermarket. I discreetly observed Bronze, who was busy reading the shopping list.

"Are you from here?"

"None of your business."

"You seem to know the place..."

"Stop."

"You're not funny," I sighed, leaning on the cart.

"I'm not particularly trying to be. Stand up straight, you're not a pasha."

I groaned in frustration. It seemed she decided to go back to being the unpleasant officer. I observed the environment I missed. I hadn't had any social contact for a week. It was mostly old people, but it was still better than the annoying faces of the camp students who kept staring at me. I was brought back to reality when fingers snapped in front of my nose.

"Stop daydreaming, Batlle. Let's go."

I sighed, walking beside her. She kept my pace, giving me time to notice that there were a lot of people for a Monday afternoon. We went aisle by aisle, as they came. We stopped whenever we found something on the list. The cart gradually filled up with towels, plates, drinks, snacks, and biscuits. The guests for tonight's meeting would be well-treated. I wished I could be in their place.

"Wait here, I forgot something in the next aisle."

I nodded. Anyway, I couldn't go anywhere without her. She was driving, and even if I wanted to leave, I didn't know the city and had no money or phone. I wouldn't get far. I watched Bronze until she was out of sight. I sighed in boredom. Shopping with an instructor was far from fun. The worst part was that she hadn't spoken since I insisted on getting information about her. That was stupid. I took advantage of her absence to lean on the cart and scan the surroundings. My gaze stopped on two young people in particular. They were the only ones I'd seen since the beginning. One of them was covered in piercings and tattoos. Nothing too extreme, just enough. I observed their hands seeking each other. I straightened up suddenly. I couldn't believe it! How could they do that in a supermarket! It might have gone unnoticed by others, but not by me. I felt suddenly shaky. Damn... I should never have seen that. The young man who had grabbed the merchandise continued his route as if nothing had happened. The other must have felt someone watching because he turned his head towards me. It was now or never. My hands were trembling. I stood up from the cart. I needed to talk to him, to negotiate to get some too! Just as I decided to go, a strong hand on my shoulder dissuaded me. I turned to see Bronze with a disapproving frown.

"Where were you planning to go?"

I slightly parted my lips, searching for a quick excuse. She looked up at the dealer. I did the same and saw that the guy I was about to approach was fleeing. Damn, he must have been scared!

"I... Well, since you were taking your time... Um... I wanted to see where you were."

"Don't bullshit me!" she snapped coldly.

I widened my eyes, not expecting such an excessive reaction. She understood everything, no doubt about it.

"Walk ahead," she said, pushing me from behind.

My hands clenched around the cart. I couldn't stop trembling. So close to the goal... I was frustrated and had messed up again. Bronze knew. The situation was even tenser than before. We made one last stop to get the final item on the list.

"If you've come this far, you better avoid relapsing," she broke the silence.

"Hmm."

"I'm serious," she frowned. "You don't need that crap to feel good for a short while."

"What does it matter to you? I have the right to do what I want."

"No, you don't have that right since I'm with you. And maybe I care because I'm worried about you!"

"Worried about me?" I scoffed. "Don't bullshit me! No one has worried about me for a long time. I don't need your pity, thanks."

I sped up, trying to find the registers alone. Bronze told me to slow down, but I ignored her. I just wanted her to leave me alone. Unfortunately for me, she caught up quickly.

"You really need to stop being so stubborn! I'm responsible for you, OK? And yes, I worry about you! You'll have to deal with it."

She sighed when she got no reaction from me. I didn't even flinch. I couldn't help it if I didn't believe her. Words are easy to say. It's another thing to back them up. She just guided me to the register when she realized she wouldn't get anything from me. I'd had enough arguments for today. I helped unload the items onto the conveyor belt when it was our turn, then did the reverse. When we finished, she paid with an envelope Wiegman had given her in the cafeteria. We loaded the car, then I returned the cart. The drive back was silent. Thankfully the trip was short because I couldn't stand the situation any longer. It was all my fault, and to top it off, my hands were still shaking.

"Give me your hand."

I shook my head vigorously. I didn't want any contact with her, especially since we were supposed to be on bad terms. But she didn't give me a choice and took my hand herself, slipping hers into mine by force. I hated my body for betraying me. I was supposed to refuse being touched, but I had no strength left. I was mentally disturbed, and my body decided to seek comfort from the person I hated the most at that moment. I hated her for being who she was. I hated her for daring to touch and care about me. And yet, I also hated her when she let go to shift gears. I could have done without her little smile, letting me know she understood that I needed her. I'm so contradictory. My tremors subsided during the ride. We arrived at the camp. She turned off the car after parking.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah... Thanks," I managed to get out with a tight throat.

"Let's take it easy for the rest of the day. You'll help me set up the meeting room, and we'll take the chance to talk and lower the tension between us. Okay?"

I nodded, and she smiled back. Maybe my day wouldn't end as badly as I thought. I was grateful she didn't continue with punishments. I couldn't imagine doing anything physical after this episode. Once again, I was mentally and physically drained because of her. She'll be the death of me one day, for sure!

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 9 🐰𖤣𖥧.𖡼.⚘

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

𓍊𓋼𓍊 i feel like aries & sag mars are the types to do extreme sports like skateboarding, surfing, mountain climbing, snowboarding, bungee jumping, bmx, etc.

𓋼𓍊 moon conjunct/trine/sextile neptune: those with these aspects may be good actors or have some of the qualities & abilities needed for good acting. i feel like they know how to fake cry. they could purposely & easily evoke a memory or experience that triggers an emotional response. there’s this ability to manipulate their feelings but also the feelings of others. the ability to couple their emotional intelligence & creativity and combine them with reality & illusion. they make it believable. with that being said they can also be good liars too. and remember neptune is associated with tv/film.

^ moon-mercury aspects is another aspect that i feel is beneficial for acting because actors also needs to convey emotion with their words & it needs to sound convincing. it should make sense and be in accord with their facial and physical expressions, it needs to fit the script. especially for voice acting.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 geminis & virgos: do yourself a favor and tidy up the notes in your notes app. it’ll declutter your mind, phone, and to-do list lol. plus it may be fun for the virgos who like to organize. perhaps gemini too. i wouldn’t say gems like to organize and arrange things like virgo but it may be mentally stimulating for them kind of like a puzzle, figuring where to put what.

𓋼𓍊 sag, capricorn, aries, scorpio, and aquarius are some of the most straightforward and direct individuals. they’re honest and if they hold back their words then it’s for your sake. may have an “it’s not how you say it but it’s what you say that matters” mindset. they may be perceived as harsh or as assholes because of how candid they can be. plus they’re super sarcastic.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 your big 3 making harsh aspects to each other: hard to be yourself or accept yourself for who you are. doesn’t mean you don’t like yourself or your personality but beneath it all there may be a part of you that finds it difficult to feel comfortable with the real you as a whole.

this doesn’t need to be discouraging. having difficult placements, aspects, etc. doesn’t equal inaction on your part. you still have control over yourself & you can make changes, improvements. sort out your strengths/weaknesses according to your big 3 & try finding a balance between them, figuring out ways to make them work together. take the difficulties/challenges & turn then into a greater sense of confidence and personal power.

𓋼𓍊 taurus/libra absolutely hate being rushed but libras are also big on manners so they respect punctuality.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 moon in the 10th house: may be in a position where you explain/express your feelings to the public. whether it be as an artist or maybe you have a large following on social media, you connect to your followers on an emotional level, or you’re just open with your emotions & speak about it publicly. of course some moon signs are more reserved but if you have a gemini moon or moon at 3°, 15°, or 27° you might end up saying more than you’d like.

𓋼𓍊 venus-jupiter aspects: these natives probably gamble or make bets often. playing the lottery, watching/playing poker, betting on sports, going to the casino, etc. both venus & jupiter are associated with wealth, jupiter with favorable opportunities & expansion, and venus (more so taurus) is associated with monetary possessions.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 7th house ruler in the 12th house: your lover, future spouse, enemies, or people you should/shouldn’t connect with may be revealed to you in your dreams.

𓋼𓍊 if sun-moon aspects can reveal things about your parents’ relationship (like sun square moon may indicate divorce, incompatibility, etc.), mercury-venus/mars aspects may reveal things about your relationship with your siblings.

the first house that mercury rules is the 3rd house, and the 3rd house is associated with siblings.

venus represents females and feminine relationships, or the sister in this case.

mars represents males and masculine relationships, or the brother in this case.

no or few aspects between mercury-venus/mars may behave like an empty third house meaning there isn’t really much of a relationship or not a strong one. it may not be a prominent relationship in your life. you guys may be cool with each other and have each other's backs but there isn’t that close sibling bond. of course if you have 3rd house placements but no or few mercury-venus/mars aspects, or vice versa, results vary & there may be a relationship.

harmonious aspects = possibly/likely a harmonious relationship with your sibling(s).

disharmonious aspects = possibly/likely a disharmonious relationship with your sibling(s).

a conjunction may go either way.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 12th house placements may belittle their suffering and traumatic experiences. they may be detached from those experiences even though they have clearly affected them and their lives. plus, with the 12th house being mysterious there is a lack of understanding. there’s a lack of structure. things feel amorphous & difficult to grasp so it’s pushed aside to the subconscious. for these reasons it may be difficult for them to thoroughly heal from those experiences. but the healing is definitely possible & i wish that for all of you.

𓋼𓍊 retrograde planets in your birth chart: the house in which those retrograde planets fall may show you the things or areas of life you struggle with accepting. you might not want to do things that are related to the themes of that house, they may make you uncomfortable. there’s friction, a bit of fear, reluctance, or insecurity.

for example,

saturn retrograde in the 5th house - difficulty accepting pleasure and failure, extra pressure to be productive instead of having fun, uncomfortable with expressing yourself, maybe you don’t get a long with children well and don’t want any of your own.

neptune retrograde in the 1st house - a lack of self-awareness, confusion about who you are, difficulty accepting the way you look, uncomfortable with introspection. fear of the new, shying away from leadership positions or taking initiative.

pluto retrograde in the 12th house - a fear of the unknown or the dark, difficulty accepting your dark side, your past & obsessing over it, discomfort in solitude, resisting & battling restriction.

mercury retrograde in the 10th house - fear of public speaking/stage fright, confusion regarding your career, difficulty executing your plans, discomfort with accepting fame or popularity, insecure with making long-term goals, constantly making changes, shunning responsibility.

mars retrograde in the 7th house - difficulty establishing relationships, fear of commitment, shying away from marriage, a lack of confidence when connecting to others, discomfort with being vulnerable.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 your moon persona chart can give you a deeper understanding of how you navigate your emotions & how you handle emotions in general, not just yours. also, you may relate to the placement of chiron in your moon persona chart more than its placement in your natal chart. it can reveal another layer of some of your deepest emotional wounds. you might look at this chart and think "oh, that makes sense."

𓋼𓍊 jupiter retrograde in the 8th house (synastry): 8th house person may find the jupiter person untrustworthy. stolen opportunity, theft in general, ruining credit, negatively affecting finances. jupiter person may be a source of pain & suffering to the 8th house person.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 exposing my fellow air signs here: when it comes to air signs geminis have been called liars/2 faced, libras have been called a gossip/people pleaser, aquarius have been said to have a god complex.

but when is someone gunna talk about how aquarius also can play victim and they always have an excuse??? if gems are good at lying on the spot, aquarius is good at making excuses. lol if scorpios (not an air sign, i know) would rather die than say sorry, aquarius would rather die than accept blame. surely if there’s a god complex then one of the greatest offenses to an aquarius is being accused of some wrong doing, pointing out their flaws. after all, how can a god commit error or be flawed?

libras can lowkey be all bark and no bite. they can talk about you behind your back but they also tend to avoid confrontation.

& because geminis are so curious they can be so damn nosy it’s unbelievable lmfao

𓋼𓍊 leo has great leadership qualities and they know how to use those qualities to guide themselves. they have a good sense of direction, they attract opportunity like a magnet but they also know how to create it too. they let no opportunity go to waste and they know how to maximize the opportunities that are available to them.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 i've seen some astro observations say that virgos tend to really like cats. but how many of you virgos have some kind of bird as one of your favorite animals? it's a pattern i've been starting to notice an i'd like further confirmation. 

if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

[navybrat817]

Epinephrine

Summary: Bucky races to win as you watch with anticipation.

Pairing: Motocross!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Word Count: Over 1.5k Warnings: Nerves, K-I-S-S-I-NG, swearing, POV switch, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @saradika. Bucky edit by Nix. Moodboard by yours truly. A/N: My third Connect 4 (C4007 - Square 3) / Into an Alternate Juneiverse for @buckybarnesevents! Set in my Dialed In AU, but can be read as a standalone. Apologies for any inaccuracies, but I'm human and still had fun writing this.❤️ Thank you @targaryenvampireslayer for the POV switch suggestion! Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Epinephrine. Both a hormone and a neurotransmitter, the chemical messenger transmits nerve signals to prepare your body for fight or flight. Most call it adrenaline. Some liken it to pre-race jitters.

Bucky considered it his own personal fuel.

Just breathe.

It amazed him how so many wrote off motocross as just another sport without considering the physical and mental training they put into it or how dangerous it was. Position, weight distribution, and correct form on the bike were all things to consider when practicing and racing. Not to mention no two tracks are alike, the conditions constantly changing. You had to take the hills, jumps, turns, and distance for your own safety and those around you.

He mentally wished Steve and the others a safe race, even Rumlow. Prick or not, he didn’t want the guy to get hurt. He sure as hell didn't want to lose to him either.

"For what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn’t hit him. Because he would have won and guys like him don’t deserve to win."

No, he doesn't.

His heart raced a little faster, his right palm starting to sweat as the nerves and excitement clashed in his chest. The knot in his stomach settled as he waited for the race to start, his focus on the path in front of him. The rough terrain ahead called to him, urging him to unleash whatever anger, fear, joy, and anything he had built up inside. He would go all out, leaving no regrets in his path.

All leading to you after he crossed the finish line.

"Good luck."

Gave me all the luck I need, Spitfire.

With your voice in his mind, it quieted any doubt that lingered. He knew his strengths and even his limits when it came to the sport. Getting back on the bike after his accident already proved that he was a winner. He didn't need to prove himself to anyone else.

But he hoped you would see his worth.

And as the gate dropped, he smiled behind his helmet.

You grabbed Natasha's arm as the riders took off, keeping an eye out for Bucky. She didn't pull away or make a comment when you dug your nails in. You appreciated her a bit more because of that. You also didn't understand why you were nervous when you weren't the one on the track.

I've seen plenty of races, but I didn't have anything at stake before.

"Sorry," you muttered as you let the redhead go.

"It's okay. He's got this," she assured you.

You nodded, doing your best to give her a smile. A mile and a half long course and likely a twenty to thirty minute race and extra lap, you knew it was standard. But watching the dirt fly as you focused on Bucky's helmet, your heart felt like it was in your throat. You didn't just want him to win, you wanted him safe.

Just breathe. He knows what he's doing.

"If he gets hurt, I'm kicking his ass," you said, sucking in a breath as another rider got close to his back wheel.

"And nurse him back to health," Natasha teased.

"Yeah. With a uniform and all," you teased, actually kind of into the idea.

Down girl.

You got uncharacteristically quiet after that, your stomach dropping when Maddox gained on Bucky. He was still in a good position, his friend, Steve, up there with him. It was almost like witnessing a roller coaster ride, the ups and downs, the twists and drops. Adrenaline pumped through your veins and you could only imagine how the guys out there felt actually experiencing it.

Exhilarating.

As the riders got close to the final lap, you jumped up. You somehow stayed on your feet when your head spun, but you weren't going to miss this. Bucky and Maddox were almost neck-in-neck, but Maddox probably thought he had it in the bag. That kind of cockiness didn't always pay off.

You sure as hell didn’t want it to pay off today.

"Come on, Hothead," you whispered.

While Maddox turned his head to look at Bucky, the latter kept his head facing forward and elbows up. As if he didn't care that his competition was there. He raced smarter, not harder, as you watched with bated breath. He kept his lead toward the finish line as you couldn’t help but smile.

Bucky Barnes won the race.

He won. He fucking won.

"Fuck yes!" you shouted, uncaring of your language as Bucky took first, his left fist pumping in the air. The way everyone else cheered, they probably didn't notice. But you finally felt like you could take a proper breath, the mental ride coming to a stop. "For the record, I'm just happy he made it across the finish line. This has nothing to do with the date."

I can actually smell my own bullshit.

"Wow. You managed to say that with a straight face. Impressive," Natasha said, nodding toward the course as the race wrapped up. "Come on. Let's go congratulate him. And by we I mean you."

"He raced a good race. It was very exciting," you said evenly, but you eagerly pulled her along to get out of the stands and through the crowd.

You weren’t sure if you were actually allowed to go up to greet him, but people moved to let you through. Was it your strut or Natasha’s subtle stare that made everyone jump out of the way? As you got closer to Bucky and the other riders, you felt like your heart was going to race out of your chest when you stopped at the edge of the course. Especially when took off his helmet, a light sheen of sweat on his face as he shook his hair out.

Fuck me in the dirt, please.

“Go,” Natasha encouraged after some of the guys congratulated Bucky, except for Maddox who stood feet away with a glare on his face.

Sore loser doesn’t look good on him, but he’s not why I’m here.

Holding your head high, you locked eyes with Bucky when he looked your way. Seemingly forgetting the others around him, he walked toward you to meet you halfway when you stepped in the dirt. The two of you stood there for a long moment before he smirked. A slight one, but still a smirk.

“Looks like I won,” he said, his voice rough.

“You did. Congratulations,” you said, stepping back to hold out your hand. “And it looks like you get to go out with me, so double congratulations,” you simpered, previous annoyance that he bet a date with you completely forgotten.

“Are we shaking on it?” he chuckled, his gloved hand reaching for yours. A spark of electricity moved up your arm once he took it and you refused to deny your attraction at that moment.

“You could say that,” you smirked, yanking him close. “But I prefer to seal it with a kiss.”

You took a moment to appreciate how soft and warm his lips felt when you initiated the kiss this time. You allowed his tongue to slip inside and explore when you parted your lips, feeling the beat of his heart as he pressed his chest against your body. It wasn’t hard or urgent, but excitement and passion consumed you. It didn’t matter if he got your clothes dirty. Or that a few of the riders whistled and cheered at the display.

He smiled against your lips when you had to take a breath. “I thought you said you weren’t a prize.”

“And I thought you said your ass was all mine after you win,” you reminded him, almost wishing you reached around to squeeze it. Even dirty and sweaty, he still looked and smelled amazing. It was a phenomenon.

“I did and I meant it,” he said, sneaking in another kiss before he had to pull away. “You sticking around?”

“I’ll be with Nat. Go do what you have to,” you said, turning away to back to your friend. She had a smile on her face. You had one on yours, too.

“I still have to get your number, so don’t go anywhere!” Bucky called after you.

“Who said I was giving you my number?” you asked over your shoulder. “I never agreed to that.”

“How am I supposed to take you on a date without it?” he asked.

“You seem like a smart guy. You’ll figure it out, Hothead,” you teased, egging him on just a little.

“Want me to get on my knees, Spitfire?”

Yes and split me open with that talented tongue of yours.

“She’ll give you her number,” Natasha said, waving Bucky on as you laughed. You may have checked his ass out again because he did say it was yours. And he no doubt checked yours out as you walked away. “You are giving him your number before we leave.”

“I will,” you promised, giving her a small smile. “I’m glad you introduced me to him,” you added gently, looking forward to getting to know him more.

“And I’m glad you put a smile back on his face.”

Hearing that felt like a victory.

I guess we’re both winners today, Hothead.

Yay! He won! Was there ever any doubt? More to come. Love and thanks for reading. ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[tjwritesfanfics]

Universe Twelve *King Knight*

Pairing: Thorn Adams x Reader

Summary: Thorn’s upbringing was horrible, it felt like betrayal at first, but you weren’t going to let your leader face his demons alone. Your loyalty has him questioning everything around him.

Rating: Teen?

Warnings: Cheating?? And drug tripping

Words: 650

Every Universe Masterlist | Main Masterlist

AN I know that Willow accepted Thorn, but for now we enjoy fiction

“Banish him.” Your head whips to look at Rowena. “Banish him.” Then to Percival. Soon everyone had joined in, a chorus of banish him ringing in your ears.

They can’t be serious! Eyes going to Thorn, his head lowered, a defeated aura coming from him. You lock eyes with his life partner, Willow, pleading with her to help him. To do something, but all you could see on her face was betrayal.

You could understand where the coven was coming from, but to banish Thorn instead of embracing him went against everything you personally stood for. Judge not by the past, but by the actions they put forth.

Thorn bids everyone goodbye, grabbing his walking helper for his walk about and left the house.

“How could you all turn your back on him?!” You shout, jumping from your spot on the couch, unbridled anger in your eyes. “I understand not all of you were outcasts growing up, but that shouldn’t matter right now! Thorn has done nothing but be welcoming and understanding to all of your plights and now that he has a problem you turn away.”

“And you!” You turn to Willow. “You are his life partner. If anything, I would expect you to encourage him. Priestess, you disappoint me.”

Rushing past the people you considered your family, you chase after the only man who had ever understood you. You knew he found his life partner in Willow, but that didn’t stop you from being drawn to Thorn. You never questioned the force of fate before and you weren’t going to start now.

“Thorn!” He jumped slightly, not expecting anyone to come after him, and turned to you with wide eyes. “You can’t go on a walk about alone. You have weak ankles.”

“How did you… Y/n you can’t stop me. I need to face my demons.”

You shake your head, grabbing and handing him the canister you found on the picnic table, “Not alone you don’t have to. Everyone deserves someone to lean on, even if it’s just to make sure you don’t hurt yourself along the way. And also staying hydrated.”

Thorn stared at the canister for a moment before drinking half and handing it to you. “If you insist on coming, I am not the one to stop you, but please you also need to be hydrated as well.”

You toast to Thorn, downing the rest of the liquid, ready to follow him wherever this trip may lead you.

Colors became taste. Sight became sound. The gravity you felt once holding you down wasn’t there and floating became your mode of transportation.

You were unsure how far you and Thorn had traveled, continuing to lean on each other for strength, physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Never before had you felt this close to Thorn. Sitting together under a tree, a stable rock in one of his hands and a wise and wild pinecone in yours.

“You love him.” The pinecone echoed your own thoughts, “His life partner abandoned him, but you stay by his side.” You shake your head. As much as you yearn for Thorn, you weren’t going to come between him and the woman the universe chose.

“You love her.” Thorn looked at the rock he held in his hand. He knew the rock was right, but a part of him had a hard time accepting it. Willow was his life partner, but she betrayed him, though justified, it still hurt. But you went with him. Didn’t take no for an answer and refused to let him be alone with his own thoughts. It was probably the only reason Thorn had made it this far, made up his mind to go and face the people at the reunion.

Once this was all over, Thorn knew what he had to do. You would become his new life partner, possibly his true and forever life partner.

(Banners by cafekitsune)

[backjustforberena]

I’m new to the fandom; I recently caught up on the first season and watched the second. I fell in love with Rhaenys as a character; I think she’s very strong and particularly cunning. However, one aspect I’ve noticed, which I realize isn’t a common opinion, is that her relationship with Corlys seems absolutely toxic to me but people celebrated it as a great love story.

I genuinely don’t understand why people consider this couple to be solid - and compare them to Ned and Cat, when I’ve always seen Rhaenys as very lonely, she can count only on her own strength. Corlys is portrayed as so ambitious that he doesn’t value what he has, including his wife and children, he takes them for granted and he's even ready to silence them or put them at risk solely for his own pride. It seems to me that Corlys is fine with his wife as long as she agrees with him, but as soon as Rhaenys has a different opinion, he leaves her alone. I think that Corlys was written like a husband that did love his wife in the past but now it's more like routine- she's my wife and that's all. Also, rationally, the only times he does something for her, it's always driven more by guilt or shame (left his family after Laena and Laenor died -> so he joins the war; Rhaenys told him that she's aware of his bastards -> he changes his ship) than by love, affection, or respect for her.

So, I’d like to know from you and those who support this couple, what makes you talk about "great love"? what is the thing you like so much? I'm genuinly curious and interested in reading different opinions on the topic.

I just want to have a look at the word "toxic" because, in my view, that's a rather serious accusation to link to a relationship, and one that I don't think this relationship meets. To me, and I only speak on my views and I do want to say that I have been fortunate enough to never have been in or witnessed a toxic relationship, the label of "toxic" is one of an extreme.

To me, it brings to mind abuse and the idea of being trapped and of a significant power imbalance in favour of one participant in the relationship: lack of support, jealousy, controlling behaviours, unhealthy communication and criticism, isolation, eroding of self-confidence, high stress levels, and behaviour veering into physical and mental abuse. There are no other red flags such as a large age gap, chronic infidelity, or fear of the other. Rhaenys and Corlys are not cowed or belittled by their partner. They've been allowed to thrive: they are bettered by one another.

Corlys and Rhaenys do not meet any of the behaviours that would label them as toxic. Rhaenys and Corlys are not scared of one another, they engage in meaningful discussions, and they've had (for the most part) a stable relationship and committed relationship for decades, and one built from the fact that they love each other. It wasn't a political match. It isn't a question of whether they love each other either: they do. There's no power imbalance and no controlling behaviour exhibited. No one behaves irrationally. They aren't violent with one another, they treat one another with respect and care, they don't even really raise their voice, even if they can be curt and terse with one another. They confide in one another as well. Other than the complicated issue of Alyn and Addam, they have no secrets.

I don't think they're toxic.

Are we shown moments of conflict? Yes. Of course we are. For the majority of the time, but that's because this is a show that (certainly in Season 1) jumps from conflict to conflict and, for the most part, shows the characters in extraordinary circumstances. They are under pressure.

We aren't shown, for example, the ten years between Episode 05 and 06, where, presumably, everything was hunky-dory: with Corlys and Rhaenys just chilling on Driftmark. Instead, we meet them when they are at their most vulnerable, after the loss of their daughter, when the realities of Rhaenyra and Laenor's sons are reaching boiling point. We do not see their "normal", except in short glimpses and what we can infer or when they are on the periphery of the conflict, such as. And we rarely see their informal as well, where they are allowed to show their unguarded feelings and domesticity, because so much of them is either in political situations and at court - but when they are alone, we do have that. We have handholding, proximity, acts of care and a wish for/to comfort. Kisses to hands, flirtation, affection.

We can view Rhaenys as lonely for a portion of the time because, for the last three episodes of Series 1, to a large extent, she is. She's been alone, he did "abandon" her. When he's with her and it's normal (such as the first half or so of Season 1) there's no sense that she's lonely at all, even if she does have moments alone.

But it was never about a lack of love or a lack of care for her. It was about Corlys's own grief, a war already brewing in the Stepstones and even his love for her having an impact - he thought he'd lost her. It's an immature, and (to her) hurtful thing to do but it is an extreme. It is something that happens because of copious pressure and large events that uproot that relationship. In deleted dialogue, we know, he couldn't bear to face her. And whilst we acknowledge that this happens, we also have to acknowledge that she understands and forgives him for it. She holds him accountable, and then they are a unit once again.

It's not all sunshine and roses as we continue into Season 2, because again, external pressures force them into places where they find it hard to be vulnerable with one another. It's a continuation of their individual character journeys, but it's never undermining the love they have for one another or how they wish they could be, if given the chance.

For me, I get the impression that they'd love nothing better than for no one to die, everyone to be healthy and they can stay in bed all the time, eating nice food. If that's the baseline, if that's what they want from life, then that's not toxic. That's showing love. If this war hadn't happened, they would have been absolutely fine. Things out of their control and their individual vulnerabilities and worries drive the conflict in Season 2: losing Luke, the succession, the war, Corlys healing, Rhaenys being here, there and everywhere. But that's not a failure in their marriage. Their marriage doesn't fail. It just becomes unsure ground for once.

I'm aware I'm rambling so I'll just go with bullet points for what you've said and answer with counter-points and if you've got anything else you'd like to follow up on, please do come back. I like answering stuff like this.

She can count only on her own strength -> We see multiple points at which Rhaenys and Corlys are shown as a unit and that they take comfort from each other. From Rhaenys's POV, Corlys is regularly an advocate for her, a source of company, someone who seeks to soothe her worries and makes her laugh and get out of her own head a bit. There is an upgrade in her confidence from how she is when having to deal with things alone vs how she is when she has her husband by her side. No less capable, but on a lot surer footing (particularly in S1E10. She can count on him (for the most part). And she does. And she likes to.

Corlys is portrayed as so ambitious that he doesn’t value what he has, including his wife and children, he takes them for granted and he's even ready to silence them or put them at risk solely for his own pride -> Corlys's ambition is absolutely his major flaw. He does view his ambition as very important, but it does come from a place of love. I don't see how he "takes them for granted", though I concede, certainly with his children, that he's not above using them politically. But this is, contextually, normal. All the fathers do it or concede to it. And it is done with Rhaenys's awareness and consent. What I find interesting, as well, is that Corlys's ambitions are as much fueled by his love and hopes for his family as his own self-interest. So much is about justice for Rhaenys and her claim, and restoring how things should have been for her. His surprise at her accusations in S1E07 wouldn't have worked without this conviction. But he never silences her. I am absolutely clear on this. He never silences her. If you have examples, I'd love to dissect them with you.

Corlys is fine with his wife as long as she agrees with him, but as soon as Rhaenys has a different opinion, he leaves her alone -> the only example I can think of where this happens is S1E07. And he retreats because he's hurt. Again, this is a massive extreme and I've spoken about the layers to this scene before but she's uprooted him. She's gone for where he's vulnerable at a time in which he's vulnerable in the efforts to have a conversation and so he leaves the room because he can't deal with that. That's a normal reaction. He leaves her by the fire. But that's not a red flag. That's not an overreaction on his part, it's just a reaction that hurts her. Just as she has reactions that hurt him. If there is another example which suggests a pattern of behaviour, let me know, because otherwise, I don't see it.

I think that Corlys was written like a husband that did love his wife in the past but now it's more like routine -> they are literally post-sex in S2E03.

The only times he does something for her, it's always driven more by guilt or shame (left his family after Laena and Laenor died -> so he joins the war; Rhaenys told him that she's aware of his bastards -> he changes his ship) than by love, affection, or respect for her -> I would say that's a massive oversimplification on your part and I don't agree with your logic there at all. I also think it does a disservice to Rhaenys. He joins the war not because he's rolling over to Rhaenys's whims and would have done so anyway - she has to convince him. He protests to start with. She has to lay out an argument and give him context of what's been going on. Is he more amenable because he feels like he's let Rhaenys down? Probably. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love her. It implies it, if anything. And Corlys doesn't change his ship because she's aware of his bastards. He does it because she died. Because he wants to honour her. If they'd never spoken on the subject at all, do you think he wouldn't have done what he did? I do. Not once, during his mourning, has he ever mentioned them parting on bad terms, has he ever spoken about her in relation to that subject, or implied that he is motivated by that one fact. It wasn't the last time they spoke or saw one another. There's the unsaid and the undone but that was always going to be the case because she died. He changed his ship because he wanted to honour her. Because he misses her. Because he loved her. Because he's doing this (being Hand, fighting this war) for her.

What I like about they find solace and love in each other. They can react against each other and have differing opinions from one another but that doesn't undermine the love they have for one another. They are flirty with each other, care for one another, and seek one another out. They trust one another, they seek to empower the other, they are a team and present a united front. They discuss things, they advocate for one another, they are both political powerhouses. They don't try and change the other, either, which is a big thing.

Corlys did his voyages to prove himself worthy of Rhaenys which is like the biggest romantic gesture I've ever heard of. Rhaenys adopted her marital house and fought for it like she was born to it. She ruled in Driftmark and he trusted her to do that, despite having brothers of an age to do so. The fact that rocky waters for their marriage is such a destabilisation for them shows how much they value the support they give each other. It's not perfect. It's obviously not. But it is worthy to ship them. And they do possess a "great love". Great doesn't mean perfect.

[yuzurujenn]

[2024.11.01] AERA x Yuzuru Hanyu Photobook "Gi" - Interview

[What Hanyu Yuzuru Was Thinking During the Aera Photoshoot]

—For this photoshoot, we changed the set and outfits, and shot in various different scenarios. During the shoot, music was always playing, and the moment you hear those songs, your expression and body immediately react. This left a deep impression on me.

I do react to music, yes. When I think about using this set, this outfit, and this makeup, I sometimes wonder, "Does this really suit the music being played?" So, sometimes I deliberately try not to match the music too much, while at other times, I think about how I can better match the music in certain moments. I was thinking about these kinds of questions during the shoot.

—If you were in a world without sound, how would you feel?

Well, even without sound, there are still unique expressions that can emerge from silence. I can still feel the atmosphere on set or think about what effect each set is trying to convey. I think, if there were no music, my expression might lean more in that direction, focusing more on the visual elements rather than sound.

[The Harmony of Heart, Skill, and Body] —In sports, it's often said that "heart, skill, and body" (Shin-Gi-Tai) are all important. Among these, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the "skill" aspect. When you hear the word "skill" in the context of "heart, skill, and body," what image comes to your mind first?

The image of "heart, skill, and body" in my mind is like a well-balanced triangle. Ultimately, when we focus on "skill," we realize that both "heart" and "body" are involved. So even when we isolate "skill," it cannot fully capture the essence of what skill truly is... So, if asked, "What is skill?" I think it is both "heart" and "body." They are not separate; they are always interconnected. Hmm... For example, if we take a jump as an example, without the physical strength and muscle power to support it, or without enough mental strength, it just won't work. It’s difficult to isolate "skill" and discuss it alone.

[The "True Essence" in Every Field] —Over the past year, as a skater, have you experienced any internal changes regarding your technique as you've refined your skills?

I feel like I’ve been spending more time thinking about "performance." Even in daily life, I’m constantly thinking about it. My way of thinking about my skating, and my thoughts on each of the programs, have clearly deepened.

—Where do you think this change comes from?

When creating new ice performances like "RE_PRAY" after "GIFT," and when working with my own performances, I began thinking more deeply about what I need—essentially, "What kind of technique do I need to achieve this kind of effect?" I must carry these deeper thoughts into my daily life. Until now, in my skating career, I’ve never really studied ballet or dance seriously. I’ve just been imitating and copying the moves of the choreographers. That’s how I’ve come this far. So, I feel that my foundation isn't solid, or rather, I don’t have a specific level of technical skill—I've just been copying what I see. But now, I’m starting to observe the movements of true experts in those fields, and I’m thinking about whether I should move like this, or like that. I am learning from them.

—After two years as a professional athlete, what has changed significantly for you compared to when you were an elite competitive skater?

Before transitioning, I was very much confined by figure skating, and most of my time was spent thinking about my figure skating performances. But now, during the creative process, I’ve gradually become clearer about the idea that "this is something I can achieve through figure skating, but that I can’t." So now, I’m actively learning how to use my arms and body in different ways.

[The Importance Beyond Jumps] —In a previous interview, you mentioned that "your abilities haven’t caught up to what you want to do."

That’s exactly why I feel I need to keep learning! When we think about technique, our minds tend to get drawn to jumps, but the technique beyond jumping is also very important. In fact, if the techniques outside of jumping aren’t solid, many aspects will look messy. From this perspective, simply saying "I managed to land the jump" is far from enough.

—From my outsider's perspective, it seems like your technique has evolved and become deeper than before. But from your own perspective, is it really that simple?

I do believe I am evolving. I’m definitely skating better. But it’s still far from enough. Because I keep delving deeper into it, my ideals are constantly growing, and the specificity of what I want to express is constantly increasing. The more concrete my ideals become, the more I realize the small deficiencies in my movements—like the subtle imperfections in my body language. I start noticing things like the angle of my hand being off by about 5 centimetres, the direction my body is facing, the position of my face, the direction of my gaze, even the way I breathe. While others may not notice these details, it's these small things, which I’ve neglected until now, that make me painfully aware of my lack of skill.

—Don’t you find it exhausting to keep striving every day for a better performance or for your ideals?

If every day were easy, I probably wouldn’t have any confidence for the rest of my life. It’s precisely because I push myself hard every single day, working tirelessly even through extremely tough days, constantly researching and refining, that I’ve been able to gain a bit of confidence. But that confidence isn’t "I can definitely do it, so I don’t have to worry." It’s more like, I know how to execute a certain performance or technique, and because I know what to do and actually do it, I gain that kind of confidence.

—This photobook is being released in early autumn. How do you plan to spend this time?

Right now, I have something I’m planning, and I think I’ll definitely be putting in effort toward it. At that time, I’ll probably be thinking about how I want to skate better than I do now, and most likely, every day I’ll be thinking "I just want to give up," or "I want to run away..." But… how should I put it, in the end, I never really ran away, and I kept pushing myself, didn’t I?

Source: https://weibo.com/6473801248/OFlBmeYol https://weibo.com/6473801248/OFBKdyEV0 Info: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/4023323756

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Silver, Idia: Believe in the Me that Believes in You

I’m not a huge fan of Silver, but his Broomquet Groovy is one of my favorites ^^ I really love the color of the sky and how the birdies have come to fly with him!

Silver talks about training with Lilia in this interview; I kept thinking of Mulan's training montage during it. He also mentions that Lilia pat his head for the first time in a while and told him he's grown into a fine young man so of course I had to make jokes about how "it'll be the final time" and "Lilia's finally booting Silver out of the house now that he's 18 so papa can fuck off to retirement"—

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

"How do you spend your days off?"

Idia looked up from his clipboard. H-Huh?! Do I really have to ask this?! I-Isn't it obvious what Silver-shi's answer will be? Obviously, an air-headed macho man like him's going to say...

“When possible, I work on my equestrian skills and horse handling technique. Otherwise, I train.”

“O-Oh… right…” Idia failed to curb his lack of enthusiasm.

See?! I totally predicted that!! He’s got zero brain cells upstairs, all the brain cells were beaten out of existence by his muscles! Now all that's left is a space-case!

Silver took one look at Idia’s bug-eyed stare, and a realization (the wrong realization) set in. “Are you curious about my regimen? I’m sorry, I will elaborate.

"As one of the young master's knights, it is my responsibility to protect him. This requires maintaining peak physical performance. To begin with, my regular warm-up involves stretching, then 100 sit ups, 100 push-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 kilometer run."

"B-B-BWEH?!" Idia practically choked on his own saliva. "D-Did you really just say all of THAT for a warm-up?! And you do that willingly? For FUN?!“

"Yes, that's right. It's very light and helps to wake my body up. After that is when the 'real' training begins. I do cardio and focus on different parts of the body depending on the day of the week."

"Wh-When do you find the time to take breaks?! J-Just listening to you describe your daily exercise is making my muscles cry..."

"Ah, you're wondering how I'm able to keep up with my routine."

Huh?! It's like this guy just button mashed his way past NPC dialogue and only got the gist of what I just said!! I didn't think it was possible to meet someone that runs on autopilot IRL!!

"From a young age, my father instilled in me the importance of staying active and fit." Silver smiled fondly at the thought, ignorant to Idia's woes. “He set up obstacles courses and would give me chores that built up my strength. I’d also play tag with the animals when I wasn’t chopping wood or fetching pails of water for us.

“Sometimes Sebek would join me. We’d have a lot of fun together braving spiked pits, climbing cliffs, and surviving in the wild with only the clothes on our backs. We came out of it stronger in body, mind, and heart—they were very valuable experiences for us.”

Serenity never parted from Silver’s face the entire time he described his hellish childhood. Meanwhile, his interviewer had progressively grown paler and paler. Now he was the exact hue of a fresh corpse.

“Hmm? You don’t look too good, Idia-senpai,” Silver noted. Worry suddenly marred his gentle beauty.

He jumped. “N-Nope! I-I'm fine, my health is at max!!"

A lie—the entire interview had been mentally draining for the introvert.

"Are you sure?" Silver stepped closer, his expression turning deadly serious. “If you’re feeling unwell…”

Idia gulped. He wasn’t certain if he was overheating from the scorching May day or if it was his nerves getting the better of him.

“… You should work out with me and Sebek. I’m sure he won’t mind the extra company.”

A freight train slammed into Idia’s gut. He staggered back, mouth hanging open at the audacity of Silver’s suggestion, the one million and one things wrong with it.

"A-Are you crazy or what?! Th-There's no way I'd survive!! The only exercise I do is waving light sticks around for idol concerts, I can't handle anything more than that! P-Plus, a shut-in otaku like me can't deal with being shouted at just for existing, I’ll instantly fold!!"

“I understand, Idia-senpai.”

For a moment, his hopes welled. “A-Alright, GG. We’re done with the interview then. You can get going on the birthday road now…”

But much to Idia’s horror, the birthday boy continued.

“I also told myself, ‘I can’t do this’ and, ‘I want to give up’ when I first started my fitness journey—but throughout all my doubts, my father was there to support me, and Sebek was my friend and rival, motivating me to improve.

“At NRC too… I’ve met people who support me. I can ride a horse as well as I can because Riddle instructed me. I won an arm wrestling contest because my classmates cheered me on. There are many things I was able to do only because others were there for me in my time of need.”

“Where… are you going with this shounen anime protag speech?” Idia asked warily.

“It’s hard to do it alone, but you’re not alone at all, senpai. I will be there to cheer you on, and we can work together to help you accomplish wellness goals.” Silver stated matter-of-factly. “I believe in you, so please believe in yourself!”

“E-Eh…? Seriously, what’s with you… Is everything I’m saying going in one ear and out the other?”

H-How can one person be a literal beacon of light and goodness in the world?! Is Silver-shi really the kind of person who tries to empathize with even the characters fandoms unanimously hate? Would he walk up to a broom and try to shake its hand?

A firm pat on the shoulder snapped Idia out of his spiraling thoughts. He found Silver staring him down, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"I need to head off on the birthday road now, but I want you to know that you're always welcome to my workout sessions, and I'll always be in your corner."

"W-Wait," Idia stammered meekly, "I never agreed to take you up on your offer... P-Please tell me you won’t show up unannounced in my dorm to drag me outside…!!”

WHOOSH!

The Ignihyde dorm leader was silenced by a powerful kickback of magic to the face. The fire of his hair flew around him—and when the flames cleared out of his sight, he saw that Silver was already a dot in the distance.

Petals danced upon the breeze, as white as the clouds stretched across the brilliantly cerulean sky. Night Raven College was drenched in golden sunlight, and spring come out in full force. The day was as picturesque as an image straight out of a storybook.

Thrilled song filled the sky as a procession of birds joined him in flight. Pink, green, blue—a flurry of colored feathers as they hurried to Silver’s side.

One planted a light peck on his cheek, another nibbled on the ribbon trailing from his bouquet. The third paved his way, trumpeting the arrival of a prince, pure of heart, with his beloved animal companions.

It was as though Mother Nature's messengers had come out to wish Silver a happy birthday.

Idia was almost mesmerized by the sight.

Almost.

“Silver-shi really does belong in a whole new world… far, far away from me!!”

[jawritter]

Carry On

Chapter 15

Summary: It was just a simple hunt, found on a pie festival. It was supposed to be easy. Something they’d all done one hundred and one times a million. No one could have told Y/N, Dean, and Sam that nothing from that point on would ever be the same again.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester

Word Count: 2259

Warnings: Nightmare, Brief hint of a panic attack. Dean attempting to gain a little independence, some angst.

Due to the graphic nature of this fic, and the fact that it will eventually contain Smut. This fic is an 18 + only fic! If you’re under 18 DO NOT read this fic!

A/N: This fic is beta’d by @kazsrm67​​​​ Thanks so much love! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! I hope you all enjoy this ride with me!

My Mastlist        Series Masterlist

Three weeks later

Dean’s POV: 

“One… two… three… four…”

Dean’s heart raced as he lay flat on his back in the empty bed, Y/N had apparently gotten up already and just let him sleep. If she had only known the nightmare he was having, she would have probably stayed, or at least got him up before it lingered too far, and he found himself counting his breaths to try and calm his shaking body. 

“Five… six… seven… eight…”

It all felt so real, like it was happening all over again. He could feel the bar in his back, his lungs collapsing and filling with thick fluid. He could his senses growing dimmer as he fought with the large monster in that god forsaken mask that he felt like he saw around every corner of his waking moment. 

When he woke himself up struggling with an opponent that did not exist in the waking world, he couldn’t even bring himself to scream, he just laid there with his chest tight, and his breaths coming in short, hot bursts. 

Finally, after a few minutes, his breathing started to come more easily, the shaking started to slow, and he felt like he’d been rung out like a fucking wet dishcloth as he brought his larger hands that were gripping the sheets beneath him just a few moments ago up to his face, hiding there as he tried to push the images still stuck in his head away. 

If there was one good thing about these nightmares, and even flashbacks at times, is they weren’t as bad as they were when he literally went to Hell, and they weren’t getting any worse. They just weren’t going away. Maybe it was just something that he’d have to live with for the rest of his life. If so, and his physical body regained its former strength, or at least some of it, he’d deal with the mental shit the same way he always did. Y/N didn’t need that kinda stress added to what was already a full plate. She’d already taken on taking care of a fucking grown man like a toddler without complaint, and there wasn’t a chance in hell he was going to add this to list of worries. 

Once he’d gotten his heart to slow down, and his breathing to what was normal, he pulled his hands away from his face with an annoyed huff, dreading the moment he had to sit up, and put his feet on the floor. 

Once he got himself up and moving, things weren’t so bad, but those first few steps out of bed in the morning, and sitting up for the first time in the morning, were damn near excruciating. 

“Come on Dean, don’t be a pussy,” he grumbled to himself, before taking a deep breath and hoisting his heavy body forward through gritted teeth. 

Miracle, who was standing at his food bowl eating his breakfast, heard his master struggling, and quickly trotted over to the bed and jumped up to make sure that Dean was okay. Dean blindly reached for him, patting him, scratching him behind his ear. 

“I’m okay boy,” he groaned as he forced himself to shift again, and throw his legs over the side of the bed. 

Once Miracle was satisfied Dean wasn’t dying, he jumped back down to his bowl and started to finish his meal. Apparently, Y/N had already fed him. That used to be something Dean did every morning, but now, it took so long to get himself moving in the morning that usually Y/N just did it for him. 

Dean closed his eyes as he let his bare feet hang off of the bed, poking out from under the covers that still draped over his lap in a ball, and tried to bite back the sudden bitterness that worked its way up his stomach and into his chest. God, he hated being suddenly forced to be dependent on someone else. It hurt almost as much as his back did.

“Nope,” Dean whispered to himself, pinching back the burning that suddenly filled his eyes as the pressure began to build with the tears that were begging to fall. “No, that’s not what you’re gonna do damnit. You’re gonna get up, go find Y/N, and get on with your day. Not sit here and cry like a bitch over shit you can’t change.” 

But God knows that’s all he wanted to do was lay back down in the comfort of his bed, and cry until he fell back asleep. So, in order to avoid doing just that, he grabbed the ball of cover that was resting on his lap, and threw them to the side, before grabbing the side of the bed with both hands, and taking a deep breath to prepare himself for the impending pain to come. That’s when he saw it, and his blood ran cold. 

He hadn’t had an erection since the night he almost died, yet, here it was. Not so seromonicouly staring him in the face.

He sat there, staring at the clearly visible tent between his legs, completely gripped in emotions. Normal men having gone through what he’d gone through would probably have been shouting around the room. Not Dean, he just sat there paralyzed in fear. 

This made things so much worse. What if Y/N was helping him take a shower tonight, or dress him, like she always did because nighttime was always the hardest to move around right before bed, and he popped a goddamn boner?! She’s gonna think he’s some fucking pervert! He did not need her to run off too, he’d already lost Sammy, if he lost her too, he might as well just lay down and die. 

Icy hot panic was seeping into his bloodstream from somewhere deep down in his gut when the distinct sound of his bedroom door opening scared him into action. 

Quicker than he’d moved so far, Dean grabbed the cover and threw them over his lap just as she opened the door, a tray of food in her hands, a warm smile spreading over her face as she saw him sitting up on the side of the bed, and that’s when the guilt sat in. For some reason, he just felt dirty. Disgusted with himself. Like he was hiding something hideous just under his blankets and he wanted to the floor to open up and swallow him whole. 

“Good morning sleepy head, it’s damn near noon!” she greeted him, closing the door with her foot, trapping the smell of bacon and pancakes in the room with them that suddenly felt too small. 

“Morning,” he said, clearing his throat and shifting himself back onto the bed, praying to God she wouldn’t notice his dilemma. 

Y/N’s POV:

Y/N watched Dean closely as she approached the bed, and waited for him to stop rubbing his eyes long enough to take the tray of food from her. 

It was the first time since the accident that he’d slept longer than daybreak, and she wanted to let him rest as long as possible, but when it started to approach noon, and he was still out like a light, she figured it was time to get him around. 

But when she opened the door and saw the look on his face, she suddenly felt like something was wrong, very wrong. She just didn't know what. 

“When you’re done with your breakfast, I’ll help you get into the shower this morning and dressed for the rest of the day since Sam’s not—”

“It’s okay!” Dean said a little too quickly, damn near choking on the bacon he’d crammed into his face. “I wanna try to do it myself, I think I can do it.”

Y/N eyed him wearily. She didn’t want to dampen his determination to get back on his feet, but she also didn’t want him to do too much too fast, and end up hurting himself in the process. Every time he wanted to do something himself it was always the same old fear that gripped her, and she didn’t know how to handle it. 

“Fine,” she relented after a moment, “but I’m gonna be waiting just outside the door if you need me.”

“I’ll be fine sweetheart, I got it, I promise,” Dean insisted around a large bite of pancake. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

Y/N sighed deeply, and looked towards the weapon wall Dean had proudly on display. “Well,” she stated after a moment. “I was gonna take you out to the park to do your laps for the day, instead of walking around the same old set of walls, but it’s pouring out. So, I figured we’d just have a lazy day. You worked really hard yesterday, and probably could use a break.”

Y/N was still angry, and she had thought that getting the pair of them out of the four walls they were in to do his physical therapy might be a refresher they both needed after the stunt that Sam pulled, but as usual, nothing she seemed to plan went according to plan. 

When she’d first brought him back from physical therapy, and he was in such an incredible amount of pain, they had agreed to do his physical therapy together. That lasted a grand total of a day and a half, after that Sam always had some excuse as to why he couldn’t work with Dean that day. She didn’t understand it, why the hell would he not want to help his brother, after everything Dean had sacrificed and done for him.

“Y/N!” Dean called her name loudly, and she jumped to her feet as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on her, only to see that he was fine, just sitting on the bed with his cleared plate still in his lap, staring at her with deep confusion. 

“There you are,” Dean said with a chuckle as he watched her closely. “Ya kinda checked out on me there, sweetheart.”

“Sorry,” Y/N said with a shake of her head. “Was just thinking about everything I needed to get done today.”

“You’re working too hard baby,” Dean insisted, sitting his plate to his right side, and before twisting himself around to toss his feet over the side of the bed, still talking to her over his shoulder as he did so. “Let’s just take a day away from physical therapy. Watch some shit on TV, eat food that’s gonna put us in an early grave, and just take a day to do nothing.”

“Dean, you need this physical therapy,” Y/N insisted. You’re doing so much better than you were when you left the hospital. We don’t need to let up now.”

Dean signed heavily, as he stared at the wall opposite of him. She watched as his shoulders slumped forward slightly, and she could almost feel the weight suddenly settle in the room. 

“I–I’m gonna be really honest with you for a moment Y/N,” Dean said to his feet, and Y/N shifted nervously. She still had that nagging fear, and maybe always would, that when Dean didn’t need her around anymore physically, that he’d kick her to the curb and it would be as if it always was, and she was invisible again. Maybe that was something she would always struggle with. 

“I’m not in a very good headspace today. I’ll be fine, but today, I really just wanna press pause and reevaluate some things, let myself adjust a little, and then tomorrow we can pick it up again, but right now, I just need today. Okay?”

Y/N’s feet moved her towards him, and she slipped her way around his bed, to stand between his legs, where he immediately wrapped his arms around her middle, and pulled her closer to him, resting his head against her chest with a deep, content sigh. He’d been through a lot in the past few days, and she was sure he was still pretty stressed out after he and Sam got in that fight, she could at least let him have today as an off day. Everyone needs an off day now and again. Plus, it took a lot for him to admit to her how he was feeling, and she knew that. 

“Okay, fine, today is your day Dean, we will do whatever it is you want to do okay?” Y/N agreed, and Dean nodded as he held onto her. “Let me go and get your clothes for the day brought into the bathroom for you, and your shower warming up for you, while you get yourself out of bed.”

“Okay,” Dean agreed, letting go of her so that she could back away from him for him to stand up with a growl. Y/N quickly placed her hands on either side of his slender hips to help steady him while he recovered from standing. This time, under the thin, worn out t-shirt he was wearing, Y/N could feel the slightest muscle definition that he once had rebuilding there. It was a small thing, but to her, it was a big thing, it was a mark of progress and hard work. He was getting his strength back more and more every day. She just wished he could see the progress he was making the way she did. Maybe then things wouldn’t be so hard for him. God knows she didn’t want him to give up. He’d come too far. 

Forever:

@britnwinchester​

@samanddeaninatrenchcoat​

@wittysunflower

@demongirl1996​  

@as-lost-as-sams-shoe​

@jensenslady79​

@spnwoman​

@stoneyggirl2​

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men​

@stixnstripesworld​

@fullwattpadmusictree​

@nancymcl​

@christycreature​

@whiskey-infused-dreams​

@supernatural79impala​

@deandreamernp​

@forgetthisbull​

@miraclesoflove​

@slamminmine​

@deanwanddamons​

@rvgrsbrns​

@chevyharvelle​

@i-love-superhero-movies​

@lyss-dw79​

@magssteenkamp​

@lemondropirwin​

@squirrelnotsam​

@hobby27​

@spnbaby-67​  

@mrsjenniferwinchester​

@defenderrosetyler​

@thecreatiivecorner​  

@vicmc624​

@busy-bee-angel-misska​

@justanotherwinchester​

@brilovesdeanwinchester​

@idksupernatural​

@lyarr24​

@emoryhemsworth​

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​

@flamencodiva​

@itmejado

@thoughts-and-funnies​

@teresa-67​

@hearteyes-j2​

@peaches007​

@bobbie3939​

@vulgar-library​

@writercole​

@fairlyspnfanfic​

@sexyvixen7​

@spngi​

@b3autyfuldisast3r​

@donnaintx​

@maliburenee​

@the-family-business67​

@agirlwithdemonblood​

@captainsoldiergirl​

@twinkleinadiamondsky​

Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@deans-baby-momma​  

@impalaslytherin​

@perpetualabsurdity​

@msmarvelouswinchester​

@akshi8278​

@love-jackles​

@irmcpar​

@pink-sparkly-witch​

@deans-spinster-witchs-favorites​

@herstarburststories​

@mimaria420​

@deanwinchesterswitch​

@charred-angelwings​

@pascal-rascal424​

@myloversgone​

@fortheloveof-jackles​

@eevvvaa​

@bts-spnlvr12​

@jxackles

@lassie-bird​

@samsgirl93​

@shawnie74​  

@kaz11283​

@mlovesstories​

@ladysparks78

@sarahgracej​

[p-artsypants]

Paint it Black (7) Seeking

Ao3 | FF.net

The four Titans rushed downtown to Jump City Hospital. As it was the middle of the night, the front entrance was closed, but the emergency entrance was open. 

“Oh! The Teen Titans, hello again!” Said the nurse behind the counter. “Mr. Rancid is out of surgery, and the police have sent an officer to watch him––”

“That’s nice, but we’re here for something else. Where are the labs where they do blood work?” Cyborg asked, rather impatiently. 

“Uh, down the left, you’ll see a sign. No one is in to draw blood––”

“Is the unit open?” 

“I can page a Doctor to meet you there…” She trailed off, going to the phone. Who was she to question the teen superheroes?

They didn’t stick around for her response, just followed the signs like she said. 

“So our man was talking in song titles? Why?”

“I believe in the last video we saw, one of the men that were escorting him asked what he was doing with the head of a Slade-bot. I do not believe that was Robin, but that would have been the same camera, would it not?”

“And Robin probably thought if it could work, someone would be watching,” mused Raven.

“He was trying not to get caught leaking info, or having his cover blown,” Cyborg finished. 

They reached the labs just as a doctor was keying the door. “Ah, there you are! What business do you have in the labs? Can I help you––”

“We aren’t sure,” Raven said, moving past him. “We’re looking for something.”

“Okay,” said Beast Boy, looking at his notes. “Last Flowers for the Hospital, check. We Suck Young Blood, check. Now we’re looking for Fake Plastic Trees and/or a ladder.” 

“I see many fake plants,” Starfire said as she went to each, and looked in and around them. 

“I don’t see any ladders though,” Cyborg looked around. 

“Hmm,” Raven looked up to a ledge above the waiting room. “But, if you were unable to fly, wouldn’t you need a ladder to get to that fake plastic tree?” 

The team all looked up and saw what she meant. 

Starfire flew up and looked, parting the branches, moving the pot around, and then she saw it, under the pot. A file folder.

“Could this be it?” 

They opened it up while the doctor waited by the door. The many documents spread out on the counter, and they examined them together. 

“Project: Duality,” Raven read aloud from a pamphlet. “A revolutionary treatment for young men suffering with chronic hospitalization for mental disorders. Join our program for a fast track to your better self. Volunteers requested for experimental treatment, no booking fee, treatment absolutely free to patients. Spots are filling up quick!” 

“Dear Robin,” Cyborg read from a piece of paper. 

I’m sending you this email in regards to my son, Darren West. He has schizophrenia. He was recently a psychiatric patient at Jump City Hospital. We heard about a program called ‘Project: Duality’ that promises treatment for low income families. When we interviewed with the psychiatrist, Dr. Jack White, he denied us outright, even though my son is exactly the kind of patient Dr. White is looking for. While visiting my son one day, Darren revealed he talked to some of the other candidates to find out if they got accepted. Every one that did is an orphan. 

Perhaps this means nothing. Perhaps Dr. White simply thought that because Darren has a family, he was more privileged than others. But I would not be doing my due diligence as a mother if I didn’t reach out to you. I find it suspicious. Any other information you need for your investigation, please don’t hesitate to ask. 

Sincerely,

Angel West 

“Well, here’s the tip off.” 

“These look like applications,” Starfire showed the files she and Beast Boy were looking at. “They have names and patient numbers…” she gasped. “Look at this one!” 

The young man’s portrait was on the top, black hair in two spit curls, blue eyes, and a simple smile. 

“Name: Richard Grayson, Age: 17, Patient #: 8! This must be him!” She kept reading over the file. “Patient shows great physical strength and quick wit. Status of parents: Deceased. Interview with Dr. Jack White shows severe undiagnosed depression and suicidal ideation. Treatment prospects are good, and the patient is approved for Project: Duality.” 

“Oh yeah, this has Slade written all over it,” Beast Boy said, looking at the other files. “This one kind of looks like Black, right?” 

The photo attached to the top was a dark haired boy with a bowl cut, nervous smile, and blue eyes. 

“Name: Justin Krieger, Age: 17, Patient #: 2. Patient shows great physical strength, but a prolonged thought process. Status of parents: Deceased. Initial diagnosis: extreme schizophrenia. Believes his father was Ed Gien, a serial killer that skinned his victims to make various crafts from them. Seems rather proud of this fact. Treatment prospects are good, and the patient is approved for Project: Duality.” 

“Dude, they put someone with depression in treatment with a skin stealer?!” 

“Excuse me,” the doctor spoke up. “I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but I overheard you mention Project: Duality.” 

“What do you know about it?” Raven asked. 

“Not a lot, honestly. I did hear about it from my colleagues in the psych ward though. Apparently, it was introduced by an adjunct psychiatrist, Dr. White, who was visiting from his psychiatric hospital. He got about twenty boys to volunteer for the project. One night, he escorted them all out to a van, and disappeared. When we went to the police, we found out there was no Dr. Jack White, there was no psych hospital, and none of the boys had any family to miss them. We’re all very upset about it, but the board is choosing to keep it quiet.”

“So this ‘Doctor’ just kidnaps twenty mentally ill teenagers and disappears off the face of the Earth?” Beast Boy shivered. “Sounds like the premise for a horror movie.” 

“It does, doesn’t it?” The doctor blanched. 

“Do you remember ever seeing this boy?” Raven held up Richard Grayson’s application. 

“No, sorry. I’m a cardiac doctor. But I bet I know someone who might! Are we all done in here?”

“Yes sir, lead the way,” Cyborg said as Starfire and Beast Boy gathered all the notes. 

He led them into the hospital and upstairs. When they were about to pass through some double doors, he warned, “please keep your voices down. Patients are trying to sleep.” 

Inside, they led down a long hallway of patient rooms. The lights were dim, and it was quiet. He led them to a desk where a nurse sat. 

She looked up at his approach. “Oh! Doctor Collins,” she said softly. “And…The Teen Titans? What’s this about?” 

“This is Susan, head nurse of the Psych unit. Ask her.” 

“Um,” Starfire started, holding up Richard’s file. “Have you seen this boy?”

“Oh!” She smiled at his photo. “Dickie Bird!” Then her smile faded as she looked over the application. “Is that…for Project: Duality?” Her voice warbled. 

“Yes,” said Raven.

Susan put a hand to her mouth as her eyes welled up with tears. She blinked them away. “Of course I know him. Dickie was what we call a candy striper. It’s an old term for a volunteer. He um…” she sniffed, and wiped at her eye with a tissue. “He’d come here and volunteer on the weekends, the late night shift. He said he had experience from volunteering with his father at Arkham Asylum in Gotham. He was our best volunteer, and I kept trying to get him to come in more often because he just worked wonders with the patients. I had no idea he was suffering…” she put her head in her hands. “If I had known…and now…” she sighed. “I wondered what happened. He just…stopped coming in, months ago. I thought he got busy or it was something I did…” 

“Please, Nurse Susan, do not blame yourself.” 

“Oh,” Beast Boy dug around in the file for the application for Justin Krieger. “Does this guy look familiar?” 

Her nose scrunched up in disgust. “Yes. I know him too. And…well, it’s not his fault. He’s not––” she realized it was another Project: Duality application and changed what she was going to say. “He was a very ill boy. When I heard of Project: Duality, I thought of him first. He needed treatment in a specialized facility, much more attention than we could give him here.” 

“And um…if he was ever out on the streets, unmedicated?” 

She shook her head. “Never. His group home dropped him off here after what he did to…his sister.” She winced. “I’m sorry, Titans. Heroes or not, I’ve said too much. Patient confidentiality.”   

“Even after death?” 

“I’m afraid so.” 

The team shared a look, each asking the other, ‘what now?’ 

“Thank you for your time, Susan,” Raven said before departing. 

As they walked back to the entrance, they pondered over what they had learned. 

They never even knew Robin’s real name.

And now they were going to go home, where the monster lived. 

The monster that killed him. 

—

Black arose with a shout. That damned place, those damned memories. Echoes of the most vile of humans. 

Where he was cleft in two. 

He panted, looking around the room. Soft bed, soft light from a little night light in the corner. Brown walls, clean and not stained with blood and filth. 

Titans Tower. His home, for now. As long as he behaved. 

He sat up, sitting at the edge of the bed, his head throbbing. It was all too vivid, all too real, all too––

He nearly flipped his mattress to get to his stash. The baggy was nearly empty. He’d have to find a way to get more. He promised no more wild stunts, but if he stayed away from the Titan’s villains and went after petty criminals, they wouldn’t be too mad, would they? 

It would be a smaller dose than normal. Maybe half. The effects would be…less than ideal. He should have paid better attention, but he never could. 

He laid there for a while, letting it work. Smoothing the edges, easing the pain, quieting the voices. 

Then he dressed for the day and strolled out to meet his friends. 

The four Titans were all awake, sitting around the table, each with mugs. Coffee presumably. 

“SUP NERDS?” He bellowed as he entered. 

They all looked at him, different expressions of disgust and fear on their faces. 

“Okay, if it’s about the bathroom, I can explain––” 

Starfire was the first to fix her expression into something more friendly. After all, Black didn’t remember who he was, or who he used to be. “We merely had a long night. Did you sleep well, friend?”

“Ah…I had some nightmares. That’s pretty typical for me though. Can I have some coffee?” 

“Knock yourself out,” Cyborg threw a thumb over to the counter where the pot sat. 

“Much obliged!” He poured his mug and took a seat with them. “So, pardners, I’m fixin’ ta get out and visit some folks. Do one of you fellers or darlin’s wanna give me a lift inta town?” 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Raven said crossly. 

“Yeah, Justin Krieger!” 

Black squinted slightly. “Who?”

“That’s you, dude! That’s your name!” 

He scratched his cheek. “I never pictured myself as a Justin…I’m more of an Antonio, don’t you think?” 

Beast Boy slapped the application down in front of him. “This is you, dude!” 

Black rolled his eyes and picked up the application to better examine it. 

The Titans all prepared to fight if this triggered his memory to return. But instead, Black squinted more. “No, that’s not me, but he looks familiar. He looks––” his eyes blew wide open and his breath got caught in his throat. He suddenly felt very ill and faint. 

He pushed away from the table, running from that image to the nearest trash can, where he vomited. Vomited out that last little bit of his stash. 

“I don’t want to see that face again,” he said, darkly. 

“So…maybe this isn’t Black?” Beast Boy said after a moment. “But it has to be! Only one person survived!” 

“I don’t know where you all were, or where you got that picture, but that is a can of worms you don’t want to open.” Reality crept like writhing tentacles at the edge of his vision. 

Damn, his headache was back. 

“And what would that be, exactly?” Cyborg egged him on. 

Nausea quaked through him again, but he looked back up at Cyborg. “Hell.” 

“We knew someone that went through it,” Raven urged. “Project: Duality. That’s where you lost your memories, isn’t it?” 

Black shook his head. He didn’t have the stomach for this. He was too lucid for this. “Let me out of this damn tower.” 

“Not until you tell us what you know!” 

Black swallowed, heat burning on his face and behind his eyes. “Fine.” He started pacing back and forth, concentrating on those early memories. Those things that happened right after his birth. He gnashed his teeth as the poison burned his veins, as the laughter pelted against his psyche. 

“I can’t,” he whispered, near breakdown. “I’m awake, and I don’t want to be.” 

“What are you talking about?” Raven prodded. “Black, make some sense for once.” 

“No! No no no no no!” He started hitting himself in the face. “Go to sleep go to sleep go to sleep!” 

“What is wrong? Is it…too painful?” Starfire asked, resting a hand on his clammy skin. 

Her touch burned. Hot like the needles. Hot like the knives. He screamed. He screamed loud and unrestrained. He screamed like the Masters were watching and laughing. He screamed like he was fighting for his life. 

“IT HURTS! MY FACE! IT HURTS!” 

Raven set her mouth into a tight line. “He’s having a traumatic flashback. I’m going to attempt to read his mind and see if I can glean anything from it.” 

“You sure that’s a good idea?” 

“No.” She closed her eyes. “Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…” After only a second she startled back. “It’s no use. He’s…he’s insane. There’s no mind for me to grab onto!” 

Black reached out, feeling his way around, gasping and sobbing all the way. “Cyborg! Cyborg please!” 

Cyborg caught his hand. “What do you need?”

“Make it stop!” He cried. “Fentanyl! Morphine! I need an opioid!” He curled over as heat pulsed through his body. He’d burst into flames at any moment. 

“Seriously dude?” Beast Boy asked. “All this drama for drugs?” 

“We have a small amount of OxyContin for emergencies.” 

“What?!” Beast Boy cried. “You’re going to indulge him?”

“He has an addiction! We cut him cold turkey, he could die!” Cyborg grabbed Black and threw him over his shoulder. “Come on, to the med bay with you.” 

Black continued to cry as Cyborg took him down the hall. He continued to spiral as they dropped him onto the bed. He continued to hear the laughter as they gave him the pill and he drank with shaking hands. 

15 minutes later, he was down to hiccups. The burning subsided. The days in his cell faded. 

“Feeling better?” Cyborg asked. 

Black turned to him with a smile. “So much better, my foiled wrapped chocolate bar.” 

“I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear that.” 

“Well, if you’re feeling better, then we want answers,” Raven demanded. “Tell us about Project: Duality.” 

Black stuck a pinky in his ear. “Look, it was an extremely painful experience. Why don’t you ask me questions about it, and if I remember it, I’ll tell you.” 

Raven frowned. “Fine. What do you know about Jack White?” 

“Doesn’t sound familiar.” 

“Do you know who led the project?” 

“Nope.” 

“Do you know where it happened?” 

“I think it was on the south side of town. I spend a lot of time there though.” 

“Face it Rae, he’s clammed right up,” Cyborg sighed. 

“One more question, Black, and then I’ll leave it for the day.” 

“Shoot.” 

“Do you know where they took the bodies of the people who died during the project?” 

Black was quiet, gnawing on his tongue, then he begrudgingly answered, “I’ve already told you.” 

“What does that mean?” Asked Beast Boy. 

“Can I go now?” Black asked, impatient. “I have some appointments to make.” 

“No,” Raven stated. “You’re a hazard. We have to keep you here.” 

Black jutted out his jaw. “How much OxyContin do you have left?” 

“Enough for a few days. But don’t worry. Now that we know you have a problem, we can help you get off of it.” 

Black gnawed on his lip. That wasn’t good enough. He didn’t have an addiction. It was worse than that. 

“Please, Friend Black, do you wish to partake in the creation of Arts and Crafts with me?”

He perked up. “Oh boy! Do you have macaroni noodles?”

“Indeed!” 

After he and Starfire left, Raven looked meaningfully at Beast Boy. “Can you translate the rest of Robin’s videos?” 

“I’ll do my best.” 

—

Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy returned to the ops room and loaded up the three remaining messages. 

“You can keep what you want. I want none of this. They're just bad memories I don't want.”

“That one is ‘I Want None of This.’”

“You possess me. You're there again, ahead of me and I won't let go. I won't let go. You're inside my head…inside my head…inside my head…inside my head.”

“‘Inside My Head’, kinda obvious.”   

Then, they watched again as the boy they thought was Black crept across the floor, smiling in a horrible way. He poked Robin, curious. 

“Don’t touch him,” Cyborg growled. 

“I…I want his face.” 

Raven turned her face away. All that was important was the sounds. She didn’t need to watch. 

“I want the toys of other boys. I want a knife and a gun and things. But mom and dad will not give in…and I can't put the needle in.” 

Beast Boy frowned, taking out his ipod. “I don’t know that one off the top of my head.” 

Raven ended the video, not wanting to watch more than she had too. Then both she and Cyborg watched Beast Boy as he scrolled through his song list. 

“Wait, are these CDs out here?” Cyborg pointed to their media shelves. 

“Oh, yeah, the band is Radiohead. This sounds like their earlier stuff.” 

Cyborg and Raven went to the shelves and found Robin’s section, and then the band in question. Thankfully, the CDs all had the song listings on the back. 

“I don’t know if this is the right song, but there’s one called ‘Faithless Boy Wonder’,” Raven pointed out. 

“Let me listen,” Beast Boy found the track, listened for a moment, then frowned. “Yeah, that’s it.” 

“So, I want none of this inside my head, Faithless Boy Wonder? That’s the message? What does it mean?” Cyborg asked. 

“We know they were poisoning the patients, maybe that’s what he was trying to say. And give us a reminder that he really is Robin.” 

“Makes the most sense. You ready for the next one, Beast Boy?”

“Yeah, hit me.” 

When the video started, they remembered how things changed. There were less boys, and they were sitting around, watching him. Listening to him. 

“You follow me around. You follow me around.”

“‘Follow Me Around’. Luckily, some of these are easier to pick out than others.” 

In the video, one of the boys on the bed started coughing and crying. 

Beast Boy whined. “Can we skip over this part? It was traumatic enough the first time.” 

Cyborg agreed and scrubbed the video forward. 

“Even though I might, even though I try, I can't.”

“The song is ‘I Can’t.’ And I think it's the last one he sings in this one. So the message is ‘Follow Me Around, I Can’t.’” 

“Easy,” deduced Raven. “He can’t investigate or communicate because he’s being followed.” 

“So he just has to survive,” Cyborg sighed. “And even then…”    

“There’s one more,” Raven reminded. 

“Isn’t there two? Not including the one Gizmo’s working on.” 

“I thought we established that the last one wasn’t Robin.” 

“Would you like to hear my theory?” Raven asked, one eyebrow raised. 

“Yes please.” 

“If Robin created this code made up of songs, and sung them on tape, I think he may have practiced. In that last video, a bunch of boys were gathered around to listen. I think he sang often. If he practiced the code in order enough times, the boy in the last video, Black or not, may have just repeated it after hearing it so many times.” 

“That’s a nice theory, Raven, but I don’t know,” Cyborg shrugged. 

“Let’s decode this second to last one, and then we’ll try that one and see if there’s any message there.”   

When they started up the last video, they all grimaced as they remembered how it started. An empty room, covered in filth. Robin was sobbing. 

This was the video where he—

“I don’t know if I––”

“We must, Beast Boy,” Raven insisted. “Robin took the time and effort to send us these messages, we have the obligation to find out what he was going to say.” 

“Can we stop before the ending?” He begged. 

“Yes,” said Cyborg. “I can’t watch that again.” 

They pressed play, listening to their friend, their brother, weeping. They hadn’t ever heard Robin cry. Shout, scream, yell, yes…but never weep. 

“I will…Lay me down…In a bunker underground. I won't let this happen to my children…”

“Oh…” Beast Boy moaned. “This is ‘I Will’.” 

They watched with disgust as the other boy pet Robin’s head with his blood stained hands. Then Robin raised his head and looked at the camera. 

“I wish I had seen his eyes before, and not like this,” Cyborg lamented. 

“Don't hurt me…don't hurt me…don't hurt me…don't hurt me.”

Beast Boy sighed as he covered his face. “‘Give Up The Ghost’.” 

“Every day every hour…I wish that I was bulletproof.”

Cyborg stopped the video there, cutting off the attack at the end. 

“‘Bulletproof…I wish I was’.” 

“I will give up the ghost, Bulletproof…I wish I was?” Cyborg put together. “So…”

“He knew he was going to die. But he thought he was going to be shot.” 

“So this message was…wrong. Slightly wrong.” Raven scowled. “Then we’re back to nothing.” 

“Beast Boy, you want to rewatch the last one?” 

“I don’t need to. First song was ‘Cotton-Eyed Joe’, which isn’t a Radiohead song anyways, so it breaks the code, and the second song is ‘Karma Police’. I don’t see any message. I thought maybe it would continue from the last one.”

“Maybe it does,” Cyborg poised. “We won’t know until Gizmo recovers it.” 

“If he recovers it.” 

[wandawiccan60]

Part 6: Feral Love

Tommy Conlon X Belinda(FemOC)

A/N: How’s it going everyone and I am back on track with writing more for Feral Love. I have been trying my best to know where Tommy and Belinda should start falling for each other but this is just a bit of the ice peak. But I want them to develop their relationship before it gets more adorable. But I hope you guys enjoy this new part of this story I am so happy to have created. As always guys leave a comment, reblog, and drop a follow it’ll mean a lot for the page. As always guys thank you for reading and see you on the next part.

TOMMY CONLON MASTERLIST

Word Count: 4,426

WARNING 18+ ONLY!!!: Some Cussing, & Lots of Fluff!!!

TAGS: @i-love-th-characters1, @hecatemoon87, @kittycatcait219, @omgeternal, @potter-solomons, @rikkaboshi, @zablife, @jollysoulfestivalfreak, @ao3feed-symbrock, @jarvisrocks, @annisse, @theshelbyclan, @theshelbyslimited, @star017, @97freaknik, @tomhardyspinkyfinger, @edwardthomashardy1, @ninja-potato-shelby-solomons, @alfiesolomons-treacle, @evita-shelby, @thealmightybitchgoddess, @symbean, @veddieiscanon, @professor-alfie-solomons, @grungebabyblu, @maladeusa, @mollybegger-blog, @iheartdilfs01, @weirdgirl16355, @tea-atfive, @twvstedsouls, @queenofthefaceless, @bubblyani, @buttercup32sstuff, @queencoraline3, @thefics-that-drip, @quarterpastmidnight, @vee-eddie, @spicyshelf, @shahandy

💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎

After Belinda finished dressing in clean clothes, while feeling embarrassed and dirty for what she did earlier. Trying her best to act her normal self when she sees Tommy again. It was going to be something to feel uneasy since Belinda tried her best to behave. And act as if she didn’t do such nonsense thoughts of imagining Tommy in all of his physique. Seeing that he hadn’t come out of the showers yet, she then made her way towards the small hallway leading to the front. Where she saw Brendon training with a male customer, showing them how to do proper pushups. It was nice to see Tommy’s big brother help and train people who want to try something new and better themselves physically and mentally. Which made Belinda wonder and hoped that with the gym, including Tommy’s company. It’ll help her mental state and mostly it’ll be of some use when it is necessary. Wishing it would have been useful to her when she was in high school. Standing up against bullies that pushed her and her friends around all because they were different. But that was all in the past. There really isn’t anything to do but to remember and try the best to ignore it. Being deep in her thoughts, she didn’t notice Tommy already next to her side.

“Hey, I’m back. Did I miss anything?” Tommy said, but Belinda jumped back until she noticed who it was. “oh didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re ok Tommy, I was just remembering something, but it’s nothing important,” she said, giving off a small smile at him.

Tommy smiled and nodded his head while gripping on the strap of his gym bag. Belinda, however, tried her best to act normal next to him, knowing that what she did earlier in the shower still felt wrong. They both stood quiet for a moment until Tommy broke the quietness between them.

“Hey ummm… do you still want to get that drink if you’re up for it? I mean, if you don’t want to, it’s fine. We can do it another time since we did a lot today. And I’m sure you feel tired right now and I don’t want to take your time away from other things you need to do,” he asked, feeling his sweaty palms hoping he wasn’t sounding like he was pressuring on her.

“Tommy, how many times I got to tell you, you’re not wasting my time. In fact, I don’t feel tired at all. Which is strange, but it is a good weird feeling. I’ve never felt this much strength before and it feels right. And yes, of course, why would I say no. Come on, Werewolf Boy, let’s get going, yeah?” she said, giving a smile in his direction.

Tommy felt his body at ease when she said yes, not noticing he was holding back a breath. The two made their way towards the door and before leaving, Tommy called out to Tess from the front counter. 

“Hey, I’ll see you and Brendon later. I’m headin’ out with Belinda now,” he said while his brother’s wife put some paperwork down on top of the black counter.

“Alright, sounds good. You two have fun wherever you both might go too. It was nice to meet you, Belinda. I can’t wait to see you again soon. The gym is always open for you and I hope you continue coming with Tommy. It looked like you enjoyed it very much,” Tess said while walking out from behind the counter.

“I enjoyed it very much actually and yes, I will come back again. It’ll probably become a habit for me to do, especially that Tommy encouraged me,” Belinda said looking back at him, which he just gave a shy smile, “but it was also nice to meet you and your husband, you two are awfully nice I have to say.”

“Oh honey, you’re so sweet for saying that. I have to say that you’re also nice yourself and pretty by the way,” said Tess, making the young woman giggle at her comment, “but you two go on now. I’ll see you all soon stay safe out there alright?”

“Yes, we will don’t. worry, have a good day now,” said Belinda as both women exchanged a small hug. Tommy then saw his brother coming from the back, waving a hand at each other. 

“Bye Belinda, see you again soon,” called out Brendon as he saw the young woman and his little brother walking out of the gym together, feeling happy to see Tommy socializing with someone. 

Hours later, both Tommy and Belinda were walking through the park, having their cups of coffee in between their hands. Enjoying the last few rays of sunlight before nightfall fell over Philly while a few people walked one way to the other. They made their way to sit on one of the brown benches, overseeing the rest of the park. Once they both sat down, it became quiet, while Belinda took another sip from her coffee. Feeling the cool breeze against her cheeks, Tommy spoke up a moment later.

“Hey ummm… did you enjoy the workout we did today? And how do you feel so far right now?” He asked, placing his cup of coffee down on the floor underneath the bench. 

“I enjoyed it very much. I’m looking forward to going more and more. And I feel tired but fine. The coffee is helping me mostly, but it’s still cold,” she said, smiling in his direction returning the gesture.

“I’m glad you liked it and excited to bring you to the gym with me more and we can plan meals to make, our cheat days and such. If that is something you want to do, that is. Here, let me put my sweater for you,” Tommy said, removing his thick sweater from his body and placing it over Belinda’s body, thanking him.

“That actually sounds like a great idea. I’ve never done that before, but I’m looking forward to it for sure. And hehe does the coffee count as a cheat since we workout today or it doesn’t?” She jokingly asked, looking down at her cup of coffee in hand. They both chuckled.

“Yea, why not just for today but starting tomorrow is when the real seriousness takes place? But I won’t be so nice and easy when I’m teaching you more extreme workouts. Even if you try to make puppy eyes to make me not be so nice,” Tommy cheekily said, giving her a side grin while Belinda only softly slapped his left shoulder.

“Wow, how rude of you, Tommy. Hehe not even a polite kiss will change your mind?” She said out of nowhere, making her cover her own mouth quickly with her right hand, feeling her cheeks become red. 

Tommy didn’t know how to react with what she said, his eyes wide open in surprise at the unexpected comment. And yet he found it quite cute, thinking that didn’t sound like an obscene suggestion. Though he had reminded himself about what he did the previous night, knowing that was wrong to begin with. He saw Belinda like a friend and nothing else beyond that, but he knows that is a big lie to himself and Tommy knows it. They both again went mute while a person and her dog walked by them, giving a friendly nod to them which Belinda returned the nod. Still feeling embarrassed for what she said a moment ago, hoping that Tommy won’t see her differently. She drank the last few sips of her coffee and spoke this time.

“I’m sorry that came out the wrong way, really. I just thought it would be just for fun to say, but I’m guessing you see it differently than I do. I think we should get goin-.” 

“What if I said yes to your kiss? How would you react or say?” Tommy unexpectedly said, feeling surprised at what he just heard himself say to her.

Belinda looked at Tommy through his blue eyes, hoping he was joking around. But he wasn’t, and that made her feel even more insecure. Goosebumps grew throughout her body. Before she could answer his question, the most unexpected thing she never would have thought would happen. Tommy leaned forward, giving her a sweet and long kiss on her right cheek. This made her heart beat ever so quickly, not believing in what just happened. She caressed her cheek with her fingers, looking back at Tommy, giving off another small smile holding back a chuckle. 

“Ummm… sorry just thought… giving you a kiss on the cheek would have seemed more appropriate… is that ok with you?” He shyly said, looking down at his hands while feeling his immense body become warm as well as his cheeks.

Belinda took another moment to get her sense back until feeling a small smile forming against her lips. Without Tommy noticing, Belinda returned the gesture. This time, her kiss was sweeter and tender against his left cheek. 

“Just so we can be even and hey Tommy, what did I tell you already? Don’t be sorry and to answer your question, yes it is alright with me Werewolf Boy. Knowing that it is you who said it and nobody else,” she said with a smile, hoping it’ll make him feel more comfortable.

He only nodded and smiled, relieved that things didn’t become awkward. Belinda scooted closer to him without asking and gently rested her head on top of his left shoulder. Tommy said nothing at her unexpected action, feeling her hands wrapped around his arm. Without another word, he placed his chin on top of her dark hair, wrapping her closer with his right arm, not wanting to let go. They both stayed close to each other for a good while, seeing the sky become dark while small shining stars and a big full bluish moon appeared above them. However, from far behind them, they were being watched closely by someone who wasn’t pleased to see what they were witnessing. Gloria felt enraged seeing Tommy being with another woman and how he was very close to her. She tried her best to steady herself, but it was very hard to do so. Instead, she just turned the other way around and walked the other way to her home. Not believing in what she saw in front of her eyes.

So that’s why you’re not into me anymore then, Tommy? Well then, enjoy it as much as you like honey, because I’m going to ruin everything for you. Just wait and see…

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Thursday

The small studio-like apartment smelled of both lavender and cinnamon, giving it a very homey and relaxing atmosphere. Belinda, Lethia, Morticia and some members of The Silent Souls have been recording for what felt like hours since 10 in the morning. Which was a record for everyone since they mostly didn’t get up very early. Tommy, in the meantime, was relaxing throughout the entire session, enjoying the sound of every instrument being played and seeing how Belinda tried her best to write the lyrics. While playing the guitar, to give a hook for the words. He thought it was nice to see and was amazed at how dedicated and passionate Belinda was putting the work in. Comparing her to the night he met her at the bar, where she looked miserable and soulless to a sudden creative, bright, and talented girl with many dreams. It was as if Tommy could see Belinda’s wings spread open free and being herself and not pretend to be someone that isn’t her. While he was laying flat on one of the black couches while hearing everyone play one instrument after another, he didn’t realize Belinda was approaching his way. She playfully patted his long legs, which made him come back to his senses.

“Oh crap, you scared the shit out of me. I thought you were sleeping,” she said between a chuckle, placing a hand against her chest frightfully.

“No, I wasn’t and hehe my bad for scaring the pants out of you. I was really hearing you guys playing. I thought that was pretty sick and can’t wait to hear the rest of the song,” Tommy said, sitting up straight, making room for Belinda to sit next to him.

“Me too. I just have a hard time fixing the right tune to fit in with the lyrics. But I know we will get there, but I’m also thinking of my other song that I’ve been working on for a while. Which nobody knows about actually,” she whispered her last words so the others didn’t hear her.

“Oh no way, are you serious?” Tommy whispered back, getting closer to Belinda, wanting to hear more than he went on, “what have you’ve come up with? Or you’re still having trouble with writing the words down?”

“No, it’s actually done, mostly. However, I’m just not sure if it’ll come out as I have it pictured in my head. And well… it’s a song that is very personal for me, you know what I mean?” She said, hoping that he understood what she meant.

“No, I totally get what you’re saying, but you shouldn’t be nervous about how you play and sing the song. But I’ll tell you what I know. It’s going to be a song that I would like to hear when you feel ready, of course,” Tommy said reassuringly, giving that cute smile that Belinda has grown to like very much.

She simply nodded her head, ruminating on what he just said, which he was right mostly. Before she continued on, Lethia interrupted them, holding a black guitar in her hands.

“Hey you guys, what’s up? We are actually heading out to get some dinner and we’re thinking of getting some chicken wings. Are you guys up for it or can we get something else if you like?” Morticia suggested placing the instrument against the side of one of the black armchairs.

“Oh, chicken wings sounds like a good choice to eat. Don’t you think Werewolf Boy?” Belinda said, looking back at Tommy, which he agreed with both friends.

“I’m good with anything really, but yea, why not funny thing is that I’ve been craving that food for a while. So you all read my mind to be fair,” he said with a smile, looking between both girls nodding in reply.

“Alright great, I’ll let the others know then,” said Lethia while from behind everyone was making their way out of the studio. 

“You know you guys go on ahead. I actually want to show Tommy a small project that we have been working on. And I think he should be the first to witness it,” Belinda said with a quick wink at her friend, which she just gave her a thumbs up.

But in reality, Belinda was actually going to play the song that she told Tommy about. And mostly, she wanted him to be the first to hear it before anyone else did. 

“Oh yea that thing alright sounds good,” replied Lethia covering her mouth with her right hand knowing what her friend meant, “Well then I’ll see you guys later and I’ll send you the address of the restaurant too, hon. Be careful on your way over too, ok?” 

“We will Lethia don’t worry but yea, please if you can but see you later,” said Belinda as both girls exchange a side hug from each other.

As they saw Lethia and Morticia be the last people to leave the apartment, Tommy then got up from the couch. Once the sound of the door was closed, they were now both left alone. Belinda tighten her hands nervously together for what she was about to do next. 

“So what was it you wanted to show me about your project you’re doing, Dracula Girl?” He asked while he picked up the black guitar, trying his best to rest it against his body. 

He then tried his best to play some tunes, but they all came out awful and noisy. Belinda smiled at seeing him fooling around, but it was adorable to see. While he was busy experimenting with the guitar a bit more, she then felt confident about what she wanted to show him. Feeling her breathing more relaxed this time, she went on ahead to say her next words.

“Tommy… how would you feel to be the first person to hear and witness the song that I told you about earlier?” She said, biting her lips together, hoping that she was doing the right thing.

When Tommy heard this, he stopped playing the guitar all together as he looked up to see her face. He had to take a minute into what she just told him. But knowing what Belinda said made his heart flutter with excitement.

“You mean like right now at this very moment?” He said, sounding so unsure, Belinda slowly nodded her head feeling her cheeks become red.

“I just… thought it would be nice if you were my first audience before anyone else, you know? But it’s ok if you don’t want to. It was more of a suggestion than something el-.”

“No Belinda please, I mean… really, I want to hear it. I believe me. Here,” he said, handing out the guitar towards her, which she wasn’t so sure of at first, but she then gave in.

Taking the guitar from his hands, she smiled at him, feeling the nerves but excitement building inside of her. Tommy sat next to her right side, making himself feel comfortable, also feeling expected of what Belinda was about to play for him. She adjusted herself underneath the couch while stringing a few notes, making sure the instrument was not out of tune. Once satisfied with the sound, Belinda felt her right hand begin to slowly shake. She took a few slow breaths, trying her best to feel relaxed, though it wasn’t helping that much. Then a gentle hand was on her left shoulder, looking to her side where Tommy sat. 

“Hey don’t be afraid. It’s ok, just don’t overthink. It, let yourself go,” he soothingly said to Belinda, giving her an encouraging smile and, with his words, she felt more at ease.

She stood straighter than before and, stringing the guitar one more time, she let the music take control of her.

 “I took the mother road

Down to goddess flesh

I swallowed the key

I want to learn to swallow my pain

Hallowed the fruit, hallowed thy name

Guess I needed something to break me

Guess I needed something to shake me up

Guess I needed someone to break me

Guess I needed someone to shake me out

While her loving voice fascinated Tommy, he slowly bobbed his head to the rhythm of the notes. Paying close attention to the lyrics that he found different and yet things that he could relate to from a personal perspective. But it was something hauntingly beautiful he found about it.

Afraid to live, afraid to die

Building a broken but precious web

Like a spider in Chernobyl

And when the cattle low, something is on the horizon

I do not have a child

But I’m old enough to know some pain

And I’m hell bent on loving you

Women know what it is to endure

Guess I needed something to break me

Guess I needed something to shake me up

Guess I needed someone to break me

Guess I needed someone to shake me out

It was you

It was you

Belinda looked up and gave a smile to Tommy, which she just blushed as she continued singing the song.

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Bloom and eclipse them, wake up and transform

Guess I needed something to break me”

Once the last notes of the guitar were played, the song came to a slow stop. There was a slight moment of silence between the two until Tommy was the first to speak.

“Wow… that was beautiful, see what did I tell you?” He said, giving her another warm smile. Belinda only just shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s just a Tommy song. There’s really nothing special about it,” she then said, placing the guitar on her right side of the couch.

“Just a song?” He exclaimed out making her look back his way, “Are you kidding me Belinda? That was amazing. You should really tell the others what you have created. Believe me, the public will love it since I’m the first to hear it. And let me tell you that as your first critic, it will be a big hit.”

Belinda thought he was joking around, but she knew he was being truthful. She replied with a nod of her head and a smile, believing in what he just said. 

“Alright fine then. You win, Werewolf Boy, and thank you for being. Honest, that means a lot,” Belinda said, letting out a small chuckle while fiddling her hands together, feeling warm all over her body.

It was quiet once again however Belinda was thinking of something that she wants to do Tommy. However, she thought it was a risky action to take a step forward. Not wanting to ruin anything that she and Tommy have been growing together in their friendship. But the best of her intimate side got the best out of her.

“So hehe yea, do you want to get going before it gets lat-.”

Suddenly, his words were cut out, feeling something soft against his thick lips. The kiss was pleasantly warm as both Belinda and Tommy continued to exchange a longer kiss. They held hands between each other while Tommy’s right hand gently caressing the back of her head. Belinda let out a small, inaudible gasp, hugging him closer to her body. She felt her back resting on top of the couch as Tommy hovered above her body. Not letting go of a single inch of her small lips that he couldn’t seem to get enough of. He gently grasped her right thigh while he felt her hands hugging around his neck. Belinda’s mind was going all over the place until she felt one of his hands going under her long sleeve shirt. She quickly sat up away from the couch, breathing out for air and feeling her heart palpitating. 

“I’m sorry Tommy. I… I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me,” she said between stutters, freaking out uncontrollably, not wanting to make eye contact with him.

She covered her face with both of her hands, knowing she made a huge mistake. Tommy, however, didn’t seem to be bothered by it.

He placed a hand on top of her knee, wanting to reassure Belinda that she did nothing wrong.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. I also should be sorry too. Honestly, I let myself get carried away, too. I hope you know I am not mad. Just didn’t expect you were going to give a kiss and can I be honest with you,” he said seeing in her face she felt uncomfortable and out of place but Tommy then gently grabbed her chin between his right fingers wanting her to look him in the eyes, “I… I’ve been wanting to do something like this to you for a while but I was just afraid to tell you because I still want to take things slow. You know what I mean. I like you Belinda very much. But it is you who has the last word and wants to go forward with our relationship. So please don’t feel bad and just know I’m more happy than upset.”

And with that, she let her body relaxed and so did her heartbeats, glad to know that they were both on the same page. She placed her hand against the side of his right cheek and he felt at ease.

“I’m glad that we both see eye to eye. Tommy, I also like you a lot, but you are right. It’s best we both take things little by little. I also don’t want to ruin our bond, but just know that you’re not as bad a kisser then I thought you would be,” she said jokingly while Tommy arched an eyebrow at her.

“Wow, that really hurt my feelings, you know. Well then, I also thought that your lips would feel dry and nasty,” he clashed back, which Belinda jokingly made an offended face at him.

“Tommy, what the hell you're so rude,” she said as she playfully gave him a light slap on his right arm as both laughed together in unison. 

“I’m just fucking with you, Dracula Girl, but I got to say you have one of the smoothest lips I have ever felt in my life. And I’m being real with you,” he said with a cheeky smile, making her feel warm once more.

“Awww well thank you Werewolf Boy, your lips also felt nice to feel too. I enjoyed it very much. And I think I tasted a bit of mint while we kissed,” she then said, making Tommy laugh at this.

“Well, I’m flattered hehe, but thank you. And by the way, should we get going and meet with Lethia and everyone, or do you want to stay longer?” He asked, not wanting to really leave, but he felt his stomach rumble.

“No, you’re right. We should get going in actually getting hungry and they might be waiting for us. And hey Tommy… is it ok if I can give you one more kiss? If that’s ok with you,” she said shyly, hoping it wasn’t much to ask.

Without saying another word, Tommy smiled as he leaned in to place another small kiss. She chuckled and smiled between their lips, gently placing her hands on his cheeks, not wanting to let go. But it lasted for a short amount of time as they then made their way out of the apartment, as they both now shared a secret relationship with each other.

💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎💜🎶🤎

[teasinterests]

Within my reach.

—————————-

I love flying through fics.. ❤️

I know Madara would be much, much, meaner towards Eichi.. but I can’t do it. I want him to have that slight pinch of care a natural Mama would! 🥹

That being said.. This is based off of the “Mission of the spy” scout story in Enstars!

So.. spoiler alert maybe? As I used direct dialogue from the story itself.

Characters: Madara Mikejima & Eichi Tenshouin

Ler! Madara - Lee! Eichi

CW / TW: Death threats, physical threats?, and tickles..

—————————-

-

-

-

-

-

“Hahaha~ I guess it’s only natural for humans to fall within the devils temptations. ♪”

Eichi hummed to himself as he sat peacefully within the back corner of the library. It was late, but his mind was still active. So as any typical person would do.. Eichi snuck into his old friends bedroom to steal a piece he had been working on. Knowing how much Keito hated Eichi stealing his doujinshi didn’t really bother the blonde one bit. If anything he was more than excited to read a bed time story!

Flipping through the pages, Eichi smiled with content as he gently bounced his leg over his knee. Though in the midst of reading, he soon heard footsteps approaching. Raising his gaze, he was swift to jump from his seat and look around. He hadn’t even heard the door to the library open or close he was so immersed!! It’d be best to hide the fan made doujin quickly before the unknown person saw.. So he turned to the nearest shelf and quickly slipped the doujin in between another pair of books to hide.

“Ooh? Eichi-san? What are you doing out here so late at night?”

Ah.. a familiar voice that he didn’t wish to recognize. Turning from the bookshelf, he forced up a polite smile.

“Mikejima-kun.~ I could say the same thing.. don’t tell me you’re having trouble sleeping just as I?”

He questioned as Madara gave a laugh in response. Truly seeming as chipper as usual as their distance closed.

“Even I need to replenish my energy you know.~ My body is feeling active, yet my mind is empty.. so a good story ought to put the two at balance. Wouldn’t you think?”

“Haha.. so even you get tired. I feel a sense of déjà-vu between you and Morisawa-kun.~

Getting a nice deal of rest is good to aid the body and mind.. as you would say. Though it surprisingly takes a lot of physical and mental strength. One has to be healthy to regain stamina, and, well… the human body has too many restrictions.. I somehow relate to Qin Shi Huang’s pursuit of immortality now.”

Eichi explained with a small sigh of annoyance followed up. Only for Madara to give another small laugh of amusement.

“Aha!~ Well then i’ve got quite the prescription for you! It’s called Cinnabar.. an elixir of immortality brewed from mercury.~”

“Isn’t that what caused Qin Shi Huang’s death? Do you want to kill me, Mikejima-kun?~”

Eichi’s smile remained, despite Madara’s faltering.

“Evil rulers always get poisoned, don’t they?”

The brunette comments with his tone holding everything but amusement.

“What a smart boy!~ It’s a joke for smart Eichi. ♪”

“Fufu.. a funny joke, and yet you aren’t smiling at all, Mikejima…”

Despite the threats, Eichi hadn’t felt any sense of anxiousness or worry. In his mind, Madara couldn’t cause any harm if he knew what was good for him. Though the aura alone was intimidating, he nearly felt suffocated by this mans presence..

“I actually wonder why you’re still smiling.. this place, this distance.. you’re within my reach, Eichi.~”

The blonde couldn’t help but laugh a little from the blatant threat.

“I’m not so naive as to be startled by such behavior.. besides, I see no benefit of you doing anything to me here.”

“Aha~ And if I do? Thieves deserve to be punished, Eichi-kun.~”

Madara says as a smirk soon stretches across his features. Eichi had visibly gone tense, and the shift in expression hadn’t helped.

“Your gaze has been wandering during our entire conversation, Eichi. You out of all people should know deserved treatment is in order for those whom expose things that aren’t meant for the seeing eye.”

The shorter idol gave a heavy sigh of annoyance from Madara’s analysis. No, not even that, he’d been caught red handed.. how unfortunate.

“I was simply in the mood for a good story.~ Though Keito is back in his room now, so it’d be best to return the doujinshi in the morning while he’s out.”

Eichi pointed out as his arms crossed over his chest. Madara’s smirk remained, which sparked a twinge of anxiety within the blonde’s chest.

“So even you feel guilt? I’m surprised.~ Though Double face was formed in order to bring justice to those of misfortune you know.. Buuut i’d prefer not to take things in the.. ‘rougher’ route.~”

He says as he draws closer towards Eichi. Whom in which stood his ground. Struggling not to show any further signs of emotion that he already held.

“Haha.. so what.. does that ruin your plans of beating me up, Mikejima-kun? If you do anything here, Oukawa will surely pay the price in your newly formed unit..”

Eichi pointed out as Madara couldn’t help but snicker once more. The amusement irking Eichi to no end.

“Surely that would be troublesome, but Oukawa can handle his own. You’d be surprised, he’s quite the strong boy.. as for your punishment, I happen to know a thing or two!~”

The brunette beamed oh so innocently before he had reached out to squeeze at Eichi’s sides. The action appearing as if it were the most normal thing to do.

Being so caught off guard by the sudden ticklish shocks, Eichi couldn’t even hold back the yelp that left his throat. Jolting away from Madara’s hands, as wide blue eyes were quick to meet mischief filled green ones.

“Haha! You look like a scared little rabbit! Are you gonna run away, Eichi-kun?~”

Madara questioned as his smirk of amusement remained. Hands raised, he wiggled his fingers menacingly towards the shorter idol.

“Not that it matters anyway, though a good chase would be quite fun.~”

Being threatened by tickles from Madara… Eichi wished he could just drop dead right then and there!! Madara was right though, there was no way Eichi could outrun him.. he’d rather be caught trying to escape than not trying at all though!! Fueling Madara’s game was embarrassing in itself.. nonetheless Eichi was quick to turn and dash behind a table. Rushing forward to grab onto the back of a chair to push down, but with that kick start alone it was already over. A gasp left his throat from the feel of the back of his shirt being grabbed. Now stumbling backwards as he was yanked into the arms to his attacker.

“Ah, ah! Too slow, Eichi-kun! Now you’ve fallen into the lions den!~”

“Mikejim—AAH!?”

Eichi’s complaint was soon broken as fingers dug back into his sides. Expertly squeezing and wiggling.. the blonde was quick to slap a hand over his mouth. Muffling heavy giggles as Madara changed their position to press Eichi’s back against the bookshelf behind him.

“Oh? Trying to stay quiet now? Let’s fix that.~”

The taller idol hummed as he grasped Eichi’s wrists with ease. Hoisting them above the blonde’s head, before pinning them in place with one hand. The expression on Eichi’s face currently was immaculate.. he wished he had his phone on him or something!!

“Haha~ What’s the nervous look for, Eichi? It’s just a bit of tickling! Take it like a man won’t you?”

He questioned as his free hand was brought back down Eichi’s arm. Trailing his fingers before lightly scratching at one of Eichi’s armpits. The blonde in with lurched forward. Feeling the strain in the smaller idols arms as he began to squirm.

“Pfft- ehehehe! I-I’d rather nohohot die by thehehehe likes of yohohou!”

“You’re so dramatic! Embarrassed are ya i’m guessing? Poor, poor, Eichi!~ Maybe if you hadn’t stolen the doujin in the first place..”

Madara says with a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone as his hand alternates between tickling each armpit. The change earning a jolt from the shorter idol each time.

“Ooor maybe if you weren’t so ticklish! Hahaha! Look at you giggling like a child.~ I bet Wataru-kun absolutely loves this!~”

“Sh-shuhuhut uhuhup!!”

The blonde exclaimed between increasingly heavier giggles. His face had even tinged a hint of redness from the mention of Wataru.. It definitely didn’t go unnoticed, but Madara was too focused on exploring Eichi’s ticklishness! His hand now trailed from Eichi’s pits, and down to his ribs. The brunette made sure to cover every inch of Eichi’s sensitive ribcage. Skittering his fingers up and down the right side, then the left. Having to switch the idols hands into the other so he could keep the blonde pinned accordingly when switching sides. It was easier to keep him held up this way anyhow, since he could tell Eichi would have already collapsed from the way his knees trembled.

“Hmm..~ Your giggles are getting louder.. how about here huh? Does this tickle, Eichi-kun?~”

The brunette continued to tease as Eichi’s giggles burst into light laughter. Keeping his head low or turned to the side so Madara wouldn’t see his flustered expression.

The taller idol was skittering his fingers all around Eichi’s stomach now. Amused with how Eichi squeaked with occasional tweaks to his sides, or how his stomach trembled with laughter beneath Madara’s touch.

“If I was going crazy i’d say you almost looked cute.. ALMOST of course!~ Though its no secret that you have the face of an angel. It’s ironic isn’t it?~”

Madara questioned as his hand soon trailed lower to squeeze experimentally at Eichi’s right hip. The reaction nearly startling him as Eichi burst into a surprised squeal. Throwing his head back, and slamming it against the bookshelf behind him on accident. A slight sound of pain escaping him from the mishap.. though his giggles were far more overpowering.

“AHAAHAhahaehe e-ehehenough of this! DOHOHONT YOU DARE!!”

Eichi exclaimed between increasing laughter of nervousness. Madara of course gave a slight pause to make sure Eichi hadn’t hit his head too hard. Not wanting to actually cause intentional damage.. which.. should he care? Probably not, but that wasn’t the point of this. His smirk returned afterwards as his hand slowly returned to Eichi’s hip. Merely pressing his fingers in place to earn further anxious laughter.

“Haha! I havent’t even started yet and you’re already laughing! Lets see.. shall I count? One… two…—“

“NONOHOHO EHEHENOUGH—“

“THREE!~ ✩”

The brunette exclaimed as he released Eichi’s arms. Shooting both hands into place to grab and squeeze at the blonde’s hips. Eichi, unfortunately for himself, broke into a louder squeal than anticipated. Yanking his arms down and shoving at Madara’s hands as he practically slid down the bookshelf.

“STAHAHAHAHAP MIKEHEHEHJIMAHAHAA!”

“Wow!~ I don’t think I’ve ever heard your voice this loud!! Hahaha~ If I stop you better promise to return the doujin, Eichi. Go on, say you prooomise!~”

Madara practically sang as he shot his hands back n fourth. Scribbling his fingers across Eichi’s stomach, then squeezing at his hips and sides. Having to chase the idol to the floor at this point as Eichi laughed and tried curling in on himself.

“IHI PROHOHOMISEHEHE NOHOW STAHAHAHAP!!”

The blonde exclaimed with tears beginning to form within the corners of his eyes. Only once a few coughs were heard had Madara parted his hands from Eichi’s torso. Green eyes watching in slight concern as Eichi brought his hands up to cough into them a few times. Red faced, and hair disheveled, he panted heavily on the floor. A smile still remaining as if it were a stain on his features.

“Alright, alright, you look like you’ve had enough.”

He sighed, remaining crouched beside Eichi as the blonde slowly regained his composure.

“I already said.. i’d return it in the morning prior..”

Eichi huffs as Madara shakes his head. That was true, but if he listened then this fun ordeal wouldn’t have happened! Nonetheless he supposed this was a slight mess he should clean up. Reaching out, he pulled Eichi into his grasp once more. The blonde sending Madara a harsh glare until he was lifted up with ease.

“Aaand.. hup! There we go~ As much as I hate doing this, you look like you’d be down for a while.. so lets just get you back to your dorm, yeah?”

Madara questioned as he began carrying Eichi out from the library. The doujinshi being left behind to retrieve in the morning.. Sighing to himself, Eichi pressed a hand to his chest to feel his heart rate. As much as he didn’t wish to accept Madara’s help either, he was right.

“Just… drop me off around the corner to the dorm. I’ll be able to walk by the time we get there.”

They equally seemed to agree to spend the rest of their time in shared silence. Eichi’s soft panting soon coming to a stop, Madara purposely making sure Eichi would stay awake during their walk. The both of them seemed to be more tuckered out after that little scuffle.. eventually though, Eichi was soon left with a simple glare, and a flashed smirk of amusement for a farewell. Returning back to his dorm, he peered towards Rei whom looked up from his laptop. That of which illuminated the room from the dim glow. Thankfully Aira seemed to be asleep, so the two whispered as they spoke.

“You look like a train wreck.~”

“Just leave me in peace to rest, Sakuma..”

Eichi huffed as he collapsed onto his bed. The sound of an amused chuckle annoyed him, but he was rather quick to drift off beneath his covers. Despite not changing out of his clothes for the night.

The next morning, Eichi was quick to awaken and get prepared for the day. He had to rush back to the library to return the doujinshi he stole from Keito!! Though upon arrival, he was shocked to find that the hand made doujin was gone. Frantically searching for a moment, he cursed beneath his breath. Pressing his head against the bookshelf in annoyance.

“Mikejima…”

[onwcrds]

𝚃𝙰𝚂𝙺 𝟸𝟻; 𝙽𝙴𝚇𝚃 𝙶𝙴𝙽.

                       eowyn lightfoot.

eowyn is the nicest of the lightfoot girls. she’s sweet as sugar but just as feisty as her sisters. don’t mistake her kindness for weakness. she’s very capable of giving a beat down when needed which doesn’t happen often since eowyn is also the most sought after lightfoot girl given her sweet demeanor. she’s the most similar to her father sharing an interest in comics, d&d and fully embracing the nerd she is. on the other hand, she’s her mother’s muse and often models for her. eowyn’s the sporty sister who preferred to play soccer and volleyball whereas kinsley and gwen were participating in theatre. eowyn’s never really fit in with the upper east side lifestyle despite being an it girl. she’s more than okay with faking it until she makes it for the sake of her family.

inspired by : minako aino / sailor venus ( sailor moon ) , karma by taylor swift , elle woods ( legally blonde ) , the gossip girl aesthetic ,  lindsey ( total drama island ) , someday we’ll know by mandy moore & jonathan foreman , early 2000s romcom girlies , cloe ( bratz 2007 ) , clover  ( totally spies ) , i think i’m in love with you by jessica simpson ,  doralee rhodes (  9 to 5  ) stella ( winx club )

𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙻

birth name. eowyn monroe lightfoot nicknames. e, winnie date of birth.   october 22 age.    twenty-five gender.   cis female. pronouns.  she/her. species.   half elf / half human powers.   n/a sexuality.  pansexual. place of birth.    manhattan, new york. current residence.   equal time in manhattan and elias. occupation.    model 

𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴

height. 5'6" build. athletic hair colour/style. blonde eye colour. blue. piercings.  ears and belly button tattoos. ( x ) notable markings.  n/a. glasses/contacts ?  n/a. faceclaim.  lili reinhart voiceclaim.  lili reinhart

𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙷

physical ailments.   none. allergies.   seasonal allergies. sleeping habits. loves her sleep she does exercise habits. volleyball, karate, boxing and pilates !! dominant hand.    right. drugs / smoke / alcohol ? no / no / socially, mostly just champagne

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈

positive traits. bubbly, charismatic, intuitive, selfless negative traits.  ditzy, materialistic, sensitive usual mood.  happy. likes. spending time with her parents, her cat link, playing dress up, the color orange, red carpets, playing d&d with her dad, uncle ian and her siblings, old hollywood, dolly parton, volleyball, fields of flowers, illustrating comics, the idea of love, shopping trips, her cute little elf ears dislikes.  being underestimated, sweating, muffins, when people dog ear books, ugg boots, breaking her nails, being made fun of for her nerdy interests, mean girls  bad habits.  she’s bad at listening and gets distracted easily

𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿𝚂

mother.    penelope hainline father.      barley lightfoot siblings.   kinsley, guinevere & gabe lightfoot children.   who’s to say, anyways she does have a pet cat named link ( yes after link from legend of zelda ) birth order.   oldest of four. significant other.  a nice little are they or aren’t they with matteo hamato-seara closest friends. lightfoot cousins, hawkins kids, claire teague, katrina everglot, and this could be you !

𝚃𝙴𝚂𝚃𝚂

zodiac sign. scorpio mbti. ESFP temperament.   sanguine. hogwarts house.    hufflepuff. moral alignment.  neutral good.

𝚂𝙺𝙸𝙻𝙻𝚂 & 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚂

languages spoken.   english, french and bits of elvish drive ?       yes. jump start a car ?        yes !! change a flat tire ?       yes ride a bicycle ?       yes. swim ?      yes. play an instrument ?      no. play chess ?     no. braid hair ?     yes. tie a tie ?          yes. pick a lock ?          no. sew ?       yes.

compassion.         10/10.

empathy.         10/10.

creativity.          8/10.

mental flexibility.          5/10.

passion.         9/10.

luck.         8/10.

motivation.  9/10.

education.          8/10.

intelligence.         6/10.

charisma.       10/10.

reflexes.          9/10.

willpower.          8/10.

stamina.          9/10.

physical strength.         5/10.

battle skill.          7/10.

initiative.     7/10.

restraint.          8/10.

strategy.       6/10.

team work.         9/10.

(  pinterest, her tag, playlist. )