#I just can't seem to get that part of Hakoda's character right very often

[setaripendragon]

Ursakoda Soulmates - Part 2

So, predictably, this drabble I wrote for my ATLA soulmates series completely ran away with me, because Ursakoda is my OTP for Avatar and I love them so much I just couldn’t help myself. I don’t actually know how many parts there are going to be to this, but... a few more, at least.

Ursa has no idea what to do with this strange Water Tribe man who is, apparently, her soulmate. She can’t help the way her eyes are constantly drawn back to his fingers, now forever mottled with haphazard splotches of gold from her own fingers. With the celebration in full swing as dusk gives way to true night, there’s nowhere quiet enough for them to speak honestly, not that Ursa would have any idea what to say if there was. She had long ago given up on the idea of soulmates, so finding hers now, here, like this, feels a little like a smack in the face. There’s a tiny, wounded fragment of her soul that wants to hit him and demand to know where he was twenty years ago.

But she doesn’t. And she doesn’t ask how he knew, why he wasn’t surprised to find his fingers stained gold by her touch, because he wasn’t. And he walked up to her and asked if she was Fire Nation. Sure, he’d played it off as a joke, but he hadn’t been surprised at the soulmark her touch had caused, so it was clearly more than just a joke. She tries to remember if she ever learned how the Water Tribes identify their soulmates, but she doesn’t know, and she can’t ask. Not here, in front of all the village, her friends, who all think she’s Earth Kingdom, just like them.

Instead of doing or saying anything, Ursa finds herself just staring at him, holding his hands in hers, trying to put the pieces together herself. He knew who she was, probably knew right from the start, which is why he’d looked at her like that after she spilled the stew. He knew, which meant, at least, that this is unlikely to be a one-sided bond. Ursa hopes to Agni that this isn’t a one-sided bond. She’s seen first-hand how ugly those can turn.

Hakoda clears his throat, and Ursa abruptly realises she’s been staring for far too long. She gives herself a small shake, internally berating herself. She ought to know better than to get caught up in her own head and forget that she’s being watched. She goes to let go of Hakoda, because that is certainly going to get people talking – Ursa has generally done her best to avoid touching people for exactly this reason – but before she can, Hakoda turns his hands over under hers and catches hold of her in turn. He offers her a smile that she can read a dozen things in; understanding, comfort, hope, caution, amusement. Ursa abruptly realises that he has no idea what to make of her, either. It’s backhandedly comforting.

“Would you like to dance?” He asks, glancing over at where a small crowd of dancers have gathered. Ursa can’t help but smile, watching as the Water Tribe warriors show the more daring and romantic young women of the village their traditional paired dances, while others have gotten dragged into the local group dances. “If you can be spared, of course.” Hakoda adds, drawing Ursa’s attention back to him, and then on to where he’s looking over at Gen and Biyu, the elderly couple who own the local inn where Ursa works.

Gen snorts at them. “It’s about time Xia had a little fun. Go on.” He encourages.

Ursa gives him a quelling look that has absolutely no effect at all, so she relents and moves out towards the area the dancers have claimed, tugging Hakoda along with her. “You’ll have to show me how.” She tells Hakoda, looking back at him. “I’m afraid I don’t know any Water Tribe dances.”

“Perhaps you can show me some of the dances you have where you come from.” Hakoda counters lightly.

Ursa looks down and away, but she’s smiling faintly. “We… didn’t have many. It’s not… It’s no longer a social thing, in my home. It’s more of a skill, occasionally a profession.” She explains, and then waits to see how he’ll respond.

“Losing a part of your culture like that seems… kind of tragic, to me.” Hakoda muses, and Ursa’s breath catches as she turns to stare at him, smile growing. He’s much sharper than his introduction would have led her to believe, to have understood so easily all that things she’d implied with her answer, and she thinks, maybe, she’s beginning to see why Agni picked him for her.

“Yes.” Ursa agrees.

They dance, with Hakoda showing her the steps, and her learning as they go. She’s a quick study, but that doesn’t stop her from stumbling and bruising his toes in the beginning. She hardly notices, though, because Hakoda never makes her feel clumsy, and she doesn’t think she’s laughed this much since she was a girl. She’s still conscious of the eyes on them, not just of the villagers but the tribesmen, too. They’re watching Hakoda with raised eyebrows, the same way the villagers look surprised to see her… well, flirting, like this. She’s always been so careful, before this, to discourage any of those with bare wrists – or those who don’t care to wait – from taking an interest in her. After her last marriage, she hasn’t wanted to risk so much again.

Until now.

They give up dancing when they’re both out of breath and then they find a tree to sit under and rest. There’s still far too many people about, but Ursa decides she has to try and get some answers out of Hakoda. It takes her a moment to decide on her best approach, but then she leans over and taps at Hakoda’s wrist. “You don’t have a name.” She says, in question.

It takes him a moment to catch up, but then it dawns on him what she’s talking about, and he looks around at all of the Earth Kingdom people around them, and the array of wristbands most of them are wearing. “No.” He agrees, glancing at her with a conspiratorial sort of grin. “It doesn’t work like that, in the Tribes.” He tells her, and then waits.

Ursa has to bite down on the smile threatening to spread across her face. “How does it work?” She asks obligingly.

Hakoda’s grin softens into a smile that Ursa struggles to read. Wistful, perhaps, a little bit wry, and very tender. “We can feel it.” He says, returning her gesture of a moment ago, and tracing his fingers over her sleeve where it covers her otherwise bare wrist. No, Ursa realises a beat later, he’s tracing the edges of the new – and thankfully very faint – stain on her dress. “When our soulmate is in pain.” His fingers tap one, two, three spots up near her elbow, and she remembers that, yes, she had splashed herself that far up. Then he taps the exact location on her other arm where she got her worst burn during fire-bending practice, foolishly distracted during a spar with a classmate. She still has the scar.

“Oh.” Ursa breathes, because that… that explains a lot. She’s not sure whether she feels relieved to discover that all those times she was hurting, someone knew and cared, or… horrified, that all those times she’d been hurting, someone had known. She feels at once both comforted and terribly exposed.

“What about you?” Hakoda asks, and Ursa blinks, drawn out of her whirling thoughts, before frowning when she realises she has no idea what he’s talking about. He raises his eyebrows at her, and taps the bare skin of her wrist, just beyond the hem of her sleeve. “You don’t have a name either.” He prompts, carefully.

He’s not asking about Fire Nation soulmarks, because he’s seen how those work, and he’s not asking about whether she has a soulmate, because he knows she does, because he is, so… Oh. Ursa can feel herself going pale. If he can feel it when she’s in pain… Well, he’d certainly know that she has children, and she couldn’t have very well done that on her own, but he probably also knows… Her hand jumps, protectively, to cover the mark on her upper arm. The first time Ozai had touched her, it hadn’t hurt. The last time, it had.

“No, I don’t.” She agrees coolly, lowering her hand and sitting straighter, unwilling to show any more weakness right now.

Hakoda is far sharper than his introduction would have suggested, Ursa thinks, because he only looks at her, his expression mild but touched with sorrow, before he says “I’m sorry. You deserve better.”

It makes Ursa want to laugh, because it’s a lovely thing to say, but she’s really not sure that she does. It also makes her angry, because he’s her soulmate, and she could read so much subtext in a statement like that from her soulmate. “And that better is you, is it?” She asks him, sweet and challenging, watching him from the corner of her eye.

Because the truth is, she wants him to be the better that she deserves. Wants him to be a hundred times better than what she’s known, and wants to deserve it. And she knows from painful, bitter experience that wanting is dangerous. Letting other people know that you want something? That’s like tying a collar around your neck and handing them the leash.

Hakoda looks startled by her sudden attitude change, but to Ursa’s surprise, he doesn’t take offence. Instead, he snorts a laugh. “It’d be a lie to say it couldn’t be worse, but I think I’d have to be trying pretty hard to make it worse.” He points out, darkly amused. Then he sobers, and glances at her. “And I wouldn’t.” He adds, with all the weight of an oath. “I’m not perfect, but I’d do my best to treat you well.”

Words are never a guarantee, but… Ursa finds it a lot easier to believe that promise than any sweeter, prettier words. She relaxes despite herself, and offers him a faintly apologetic smile. “Once burned, twice shy.” She murmurs, by way of an explanation. Hakoda just nods, understanding without struggle, without ego, and it helps Ursa relax further, enough to lean into him again, shoulder to shoulder.