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emiliehornby · 10 months ago

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when you get me alone (it’s so simple)

pairing luke castellan x fem! child of aphrodite! reader

synopsis while luke is known for making people’s heads turn at camp, you finally give them a reason to stare after learning how much everyone seems to want him

warnings implied sexual content, descriptions of a make out session

author’s notes happy valentine’s day everyone!! the voices in my head were louder than usual, so i figured we could all use a sweet treat today!! mwah!! i hope y’all enjoy these headcanons

On a particularly slow day, the Aphrodite, Athena, Apollo, and Hermes kids decide to spend their free time around the lake. In a glimpse, Luke can be seen laughing with Chris. A radiant smile is plastered upon his lips while he takes in the sight of you. In the distance, Annabeth sits with Grover on a towel, letting her toes wiggle into the warm earth. She watches the water intently, making sure none of her siblings are in any imminent danger when the giggles from Apollo kids, Sadie and Caroline, drown out her thoughts.

“Gods, what I’d give to be in his arms right now.” Annabeth’s ears can’t help but pick up on the conversation taking place beside her. “It’s no surprise he’s taken. But you’d think as a Hermes kid, he’d go for someone more like…us.” Sadie sighs.

Grover leans in closer to Annabeth, his interest piquing when she rolls her eyes. He fears that the daughter of Athena is going to give them a piece of her mind when she stands, but Annabeth merely picks up the frisbee that lands near her feet. She throws it back to where it came from and sits back down to hear Caroline encouraging Sadie, “Come on, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll get your chance. The Aphrodite charm has to wear off eventually. I mean, it always does.”

This time, Grover can’t stop her from turning to them. “Look, you don’t know how things seem to work around here, so I’m going to explain something to you.”

“What Annabeth means to say is that-” The satyr attempts to soothe the situation, but she cuts him off amidst her stubbornness.

“Now, I know not all the Aphrodite kids are palatable, but Y/N is easily the sweetest one I’ve ever known. And there’s a real reason as to why Luke is so in love with her. But I guess you’ll never find that reason for yourselves if you continue to act like this at camp.” This effectively humbles Sadie and Caroline, who mumble to each other while they make their exit.

As if on cue, you walk up to Grover and Annabeth. You’re laughing with a Hermes kid that soon leaves to join the game of frisbee, but it dies down when you notice Annabeth’s hardened stare. You place a hand on her shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

Grover stands and hands over your towel while insisting it’s nothing. But Annabeth cuts Grover off again to explain, “Sadie and Caroline were saying things about you…and Luke.” You understand what she’s trying to imply and give her a squeeze.

It was no secret that Luke was well admired among his peers. Most of the time, it isn’t even an issue, but there were campers who thought they could change the course of your relationship every now and then.

Sadie and Caroline easily fall under that category, seeing as they completely ignored your existence when Luke decided to take you with him during their initial tour around camp…then there was the time Caroline pretended to lose her way at camp as an excuse to get Luke away from you and alone with her. And just two weeks ago, Sadie feigned hopelessness during a sword skills session. As the instructor, it was Luke’s job to adjust her form. However, it was glaringly obvious the Apollo girl had an ulterior motive, especially when she threw a snarky smile in your direction when she thought you weren’t looking.

“Oh…You don’t have to worry about that, Annie. I can handle myself just fine.” You reassure Annabeth to the best of your ability. She nods and stands to settle herself into your side.

In your peripheral vision, Luke is jogging over to you with his shirt in hand. You don’t miss the way Sadie and Caroline ogle at the thin layer of sheen coating his flexing muscles and the lines running down Luke’s back that aren’t actually sparring scars, despite what you tell the curious kids that help him out in the infirmary. You smile when he pats Annabeth’s arm and leans over to press a kiss to your forehead. “Hey, is it time to head back already?” He asks, putting his shirt on as Annabeth checks her watch.

She huffs, “Unfortunately. We should get going if we don’t want to be late. I still have to grab my dagger.”

It’s a comfortable walk back, and when you reach the Athena cabin, Annabeth bids you two goodbye and runs inside. Luke’s hand is loosely intertwined with yours as you lead him to the Aphrodite cabin. He raises his eyebrows, asking, “Did you need something from your cabin? I thought you were working on archery right now.”

You push the door open, sheepishly admitting, “I am, but I was actually thinking of skipping out on lessons today.”

Luke’s tone is suddenly laced with concern, “Are you okay? Did something happen at the lake?” He drops your hand to check you over, but his touch doesn’t stray far from your waist to prevent you from moving away. But the gesture is welcomed and you take a step forward, a shy smile peeking through the corners of your lips.

His worry for you falters, mirroring your love struck expression, “Oh,” Luke pinches your side. You shove his chest with a shriek. “You’re awful.” He tells you, but he’s already got a hand tracing lightly over your cheek.

Your gaze switches from his dark eyes down to his lips, “You love me.” and that’s all it takes for Luke to dip down his head and meet you halfway. Your hands reach down under his shirt, feeling the warmth radiating from his toned torso. You bite down on his lower lip, and you know you’ve sent Luke’s head spinning when he lets out a short whimper. He attempts to deepen the kiss, but you pull away before he gets the chance.

Your eyes flutter open, whispering, “Do you want to skip lessons with me?”

Luke’s lips are lingering above yours when he responds, “Did you even have to ask?” and pulls you onto your bed. He settles his back against the wall and hums in content when you begin to pepper pecks on his jawline.

After a moment, you pretend to move off of him, “I don’t know…you were pretty excited for combat training earlier. Maybe I should just let you go.”

In retaliation, Luke’s blunt nails dig into your waist, “Don’t you dare.”

A warmth flutters through your stomach when you hear the desperation in his voice. Your fingers itch to tangle themselves in Luke’s ravenous curls, lightly pulling so he can look up at you. A deceptively innocent smile paints your lips and you don’t skip a beat to get him back on you.

Heavy breaths. Discarded shirts. Whispered promises. This is how you spend the next hour in between your skipped lessons and the nightly bonfire. It’s nice, but you know it’s your cue to take a step back when the crowd of kids crawling outside the cabin becomes heavily audible.

You’re still on Luke’s lap when you say, “You look so pretty like this.” Your eyes flicker from his own to his kiss swollen lips and rowdy hair. There’s an urge to run your fingers through them, but you settle for lightly tracing over the fresh love bites that are scattered across his neck and collarbone.

Luke smiles dopily while you admire your work, “I think we should skip lessons more often.”

You finally get off of him, throwing his shirt to his chest while you smooth yours out, “Don’t be such a bad influence, you’re a camp counselor.” You can’t help but stare again when the marks heavily peek out near his collar, fading in between the orange fabric.

Luke notices your longing gaze and walks over to you, “You know, you’re not the only one with charm in this relationship. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go, lover boy.” You roll your eyes and take his hand. You stumble on your way out, but Luke is there to catch you. He chuckles and lets his arm rest over your shoulders while you reach up to hook your hand with his. He helps you find your footing until your legs wake up on the way to the amphitheater.

“Wait,” You halt just before you reach the steps. You grab Luke’s necklace, gently pulling him in. You let your hands rest on each side of his marked up neck and he hisses at the feeling of your fingers gently pressing on his sore skin. Luke bites down on your lip in response, savoring the hint of watermelon that seeps through until you pull away, “Just wanted one more.”

You’re satisfied once you see the hint of pink gloss smeared at the corners of his mouth. He takes your hand again, guiding you inside. You spot some of your sisters, greeting them with a wave. They giggle at you two in response, whispering frantically to each other while you find an empty space at the front of the bonfire.

“Hey, is anyone sitting here?” Luke asks Sadie, who happens to be standing to his left alongside Caroline. Chris, who’s sitting a step above them, unashamedly howls with laughter at the sight. He leans forward to clap Luke on the back, catching the attention of Grover, who sighs in embarrassment, and Annabeth, who’s trying her best not to giggle at the sight of a gobsmacked Sadie. She and Caroline shake their heads frantically, broken words bubbling from their throats as they take in Luke’s glossy, blissful smile that he throws at you.

They finally give you the time of day, noticing that the reason for his contentment comes from your own swollen lips. You look back at them with a smile and take your rightful seat next to Luke, who wraps an arm around your waist to pull you closer, watching as they go back to their siblings to start tonight’s singalong.

If the fire glows a little greener as Sadie and Caroline lead the singalong, no one comments on it. They all know better than to mess with the insatiable charm you hold on Luke. After all, you are your mother’s daughter.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson imagine #luke castellan #annabeth chase #grover underwood #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #stevie writes!

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rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me · 15 days ago

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Hii dillo! I was wondering if you've talked about the gang and their opinions getting married and whatnot, and if you haven't, could you? Thanks a bunch 🫶

A/N: I don't think I've ever done anything like this, so I hope you enjoy it! They're a little repetitive maybe, but I tried my hardest :)

DARRY CURTIS

I think Dare’s pretty open to the idea of marriage! Especially if he were to find the right person, he’d definitely consider getting down on one knee and popping the question

He’d be hesitant, at least a little bit, no matter how perfect or awesome he thinks you are because he knows his life is a little complicated and he’s not too sure if he really wants to drag someone into that

Like it’s one thing to be dating somebody and have the wild lifestyle Darry has, working multiple jobs to take care of his brothers and looking out for the rest of the boys in the gang, but it’s a whole other thing to actually be married into that

When he does propose though, I’d bet a lot of money that he would use his mama’s old ring cause ya know, it’s got that big sentimental value to him

I don’t think he’d have a big flashy proposal or even a big flashy wedding, just something sort of subdued and private so it’s a big moment for the two of you mostly, not a moment for everyone else-

His best man would probably be Sodapop, I’m thinking probably, I just love the idea of the two of them standing next to each other at the end of the aisle

SODAPOP CURTIS

Sodapop is incredibly pro-wedding, and I mean incredibly pro-wedding, he wants absolutely nothing more than to have a nice wedding and settle down with the one he loves

I’m talking like- y’all could be dating for two weeks at most and you just do something small and sweet like bring him lunch at work and this boy’s hearing wedding bells and making plans

He just really loves you ya know? He loves hard and he falls fast and from the moment he sees you for the first time, he can picture his whole life with you, I’m not even joking

If y’all remember Sandy, if you care about Sandy at all or don’t remember her, I don’t really know, but I think she’d have a big impact on how he looks at marriage, especially if you’re the first person he’s going with after her

Like he’d be absolutely head over heels for you, but he’d hold back a little more in the relationship because he doesn’t wanna be hurt like that again

The hesitation wouldn’t last long, because he’s Sodapop and he’s like that, but if something went wrong, he’d remember the Sandy drama and be a little concerned about your future

PONYBOY CURTIS

Imma start off by saying that Ponyboy is honestly a little too young to be spending his time concerned about marriage and honestly probably doesn’t spend much time planning a future wedding

This boy has his head in the clouds most of the time or his nose tucked in a book so I doubt marriage his high on his priority list, but I think he’d want to get married eventually

Similar to Sodapop, Ponyboy’s quick to fall for someone, which is something he’s not proud of, but like- he can develop a crush in about two seconds flat and be hopelessly pining over you within an hour of seeing you for the first time

But, he’s not gonna start wedding planning until a long while, he’s less concerned with figuring out what kind of wedding you’re going to have and more concerned on trying to get you to go out to the movies with him on Friday night

And even though it’s a long way away, Ponyboy knows he’s not going to have a big deal wedding, it’s probably just going to be a small affair either in his hometown or yours

His side of the room is probably gonna be filled with greasers and a few school friends he’s made over the years, but ya know, either way, it’s gonna be a really sweet wedding and he’s gonna make it all soft and sweet <3

DALLAS WINSTON

To those of you who are fans of Dally…well, I apologize, cause bein’ honest with y’all, marriage isn’t a high priority on this boy’s list-

You could be dating for a million years, living in the same place, falling asleep and waking up next to each other every day, and getting married wouldn’t probably ever cross his mind unless you said something about it

Dal’s not anti-marriage per se, he just doesn’t see the need for it, especially if things are going just fine between the two of you, ya know? Why risk what you’ve got for something you don’t really need?

Most of his hesitations come from a minor fear of commitment and also just a general lack of care for doing things the traditional way, but the commitment problems do play a part in that, he’s afraid of tying himself down and dragging you down with him

If you did get married? It’d be down at the courthouse with the boys watching over you, teasing you both mercilessly the whole time

Also! When he gets hauled in and you show up to bail him out, he will refer to you as if you were married because sometimes he likes to be an asshole and mess with the officers who’ve tossed him in jail

JOHNNY CADE

Getting married? With you? Yeah, he’d consider going out and getting married and stuff, but it’d take him a very, very, very long time to work up to it, not dragging his feet, just trying to figure out if it’s worth it

Not ‘cause of you, just ‘cause he’s seen what can happen in marriages, look at literally everyone’s parents, and he’s worried about that becoming the two of you guys, he loves you too much for that to happen, ya know?

Also because he’s like- way nervous- the boys have to constantly tell him that they’re pretty confident you’re gonna say yes when Johnny pops the question (sometime in the far future folks, he’s just a child)

Ironically, it’ll probably be Dally that final gets through to him, Mr. Almost-Anti-Wedding himself, mostly because he’s tired of Johnny stressing himself over a proposal you’re probably definitely going to say yes to

So eventually, he might ask you, but it’s gonna be a real private proposal, just the two of you. And the wedding wouldn’t be anything fancy either, probably down to the courthouse with the rest of the folks and then going out to celebrate afterward at the Curtis household

He’d be a good husband, I think, because after all, what is the position of a husband but that of a glorified boyfriend?? Johnny is a great boyfriend! He’d be a good husband!

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

Despite the hot mess of his parent’s marriage, Two-Bit does wanna get married and I think he’d start thinking about marrying you from the get-go, I’m talking as soon as he laid eyes on you, he knew you two were gonna get hitched-

Does he have any sort of solid plan? Absolutely not. He just knows he’s head over heels for you and is willing to get married whenever you want to say yes to him

Like he’s regularly gonna ask you to marry him but it’s more in that way of, you did something nice and he looks at you with heart eyes and asks you to marry him

Two’d really love a white picket fence life I think, or at least, he’d think about settling down with you one day, coming home to you every night, waking up in the same bed as you every morning, maybe raising a few kids, having a dog or two-

He’s not in a real rush to get married though, as enthusiastic as he is about it, he’s willing to wait until whenever you wanna go and get married, though he might hit you with a promise ring at some point in the game

The wedding wouldn’t be anything too fancy, just your people and his people, all gathered together to become one big family, he’d probably have one of the boys as his best man and his little sister would definitely be your flower girl if she was young enough still when y’all got married

STEVE RANDLE

Similar to Two-Bit, he doesn’t have great experience with marriage, Steve’s parent’s relationship is kind of rocky to say in the least and he doesn’t have a great foundation to base it on, but he’d love to get married

His biggest fear about being married to be honest, is turning into his father, but he knows, deep down that he’s not ever gonna end up like that guy

The only thing stopping him from getting married is finding someone to get hitched to, ya know? But along came you and…well we all know you guys are gonna be endgame

Steve and Sodapop, out of all the boys, are definitely the most likely to be the youngest to get married, if they’ve found someone to marry, neither of them see any reason to delay it any longer?

I’m getting this mental image of you swinging by the DX to drop off lunch for Steve or something, maybe you just came by to say hi, and some guy had been eyeing you, asking Steve who you are, and Steve’s like “My future spouse, actually”

You’d have a nice little wedding, maybe just a courthouse affair, but it’d be real sweet and he’d clean up just for you, no grease or motor oil in sight, his hair combed back all swirly and stuff, he just looks real good

TIM SHEPARD

Now I’ve got tons of opinions about a married Tim Shepard, mostly because I’ve talked about a married Tim Shepard at length with a very dear friend of mine (hello to Sophie, one of my bestest buds)

But anyway, Tim would totally get married, just as long as he found someone worth getting married to, but it’d take him a while until he finally asks, he takes his time, takes it slow, and doesn’t really rush into it

Most of his hesitation is just his assumption that maybe you don’t wanna get married, or maybe you weren’t gonna stick around forever, and he’s real worried about pulling you into his world, worried that you’re not gonna like staying

Especially cause like- he knows he’s got it rough, he lives on the rougher side of town, runs a gang for crying out loud, he knows he can’t always give you everything that you might want, but he’d sure try, and he’d do whatever he could to make you happy

When you guys get hitched, Curly would be his best man, no doubt in my mind, and he’d have Angela on his side too if she isn’t already standing on your side of the ceremony

He doesn’t really want a big fancy ceremony or anything? Whatever you want is more than fine to him, he just wants to marry you, he doesn’t care how it happens as long as you’re happy with it

CURLY SHEPARD

Curly’s one of the ones who everyone thought was never gonna get married and settle down with somebody, but from the second he started bringing you around, everyone knew it’d only be a matter of time before you two got married

He wasn’t too sure about getting married at first? Didn’t have any sort of attachment to the idea or plans for getting married, but he changed those plans when you two got together

Curl’s absolutely obsessed with you from the get-go and the first time Tim meets you, he knows that there’s going to be a wedding at some point for the two of you, everyone sees it coming

Again, his parent’s marriage kinda sucked, but Curly’s one for taking stuff his own way and he was determined not to screw up your marriage either, even though he knows not everything is going to be perfect

When you get married, it’s definitely not going to be anything big or fancy or anything, but it’s going to feel like a real special day because it is a real special day and I’m gonna be honest with you, you’re going have a great time with everyone there

Curly sees you for the first time and he cries, not full-out crying but his eyes tear up quite a bit and Tim teases him about it for the rest of his life because who knew such tough hoods were really softies?

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cinnbar-bun · 1 year ago

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Hello ~

Is it possible to request some general SFW/NSFW headcanons for Robin ? Your writing is so good and overall so wholesome it makes my heart melt. 🥺🥺

Have a nice day/night. ❤️

Nico Robin SFW + NSFW HCs

A/n: Aw, thank you for the lovely compliment dear. I hope you enjoy these <3

Note: Reader is GN. The hcs start off kinda angsty at first but gets nicer and happier (since we are dealing with Robin here). We as a society do not deserve Robin.

SFW

Robin is a very elegant and classy woman, and it’s no different when it comes to relationships.

She doesn’t like to push boundaries and often tries not to make too many “bold” moves in the beginning. She prefers to tread carefully when it comes to you, and she’d hate for her to be the one who hurts you.

Honestly it’s kinda difficult for her to express her insecurities in the beginning because she’s grown with the crew, but she feels as if she’s starting from scratch when you two are official. She worries she’ll mess up and hurt you, and then everything she’s done with the Straw Hats will have meant nothing and she was always the trouble everyone was warned about.

Please be kind to her, eventually she’ll fully realize just how much she has grown and that she’s not a devil. Just be verbal with her and tell her what you feel, and she’ll take note of your feelings and preferences.

Robin never really thought of romance in her life, always assuming it was a silly fantasy that would just end up getting her killed. Thus, she can get caught off guard when you do romantic things for her.

She prefers sentimental gifts for this reason. If you write her a poem, no matter how bad it is, she’s treasuring it. Give her an album of memories together? She looks through it almost every night and might decorate it more. When it’s handcrafted, it’s proof that YOU took the time to make something for HER. It’s proof that YOU did this and that YOU really are hers and a part of her life. Something that is so “you” makes her heart beat faster.

Surprise her with random dates or taking the initiative. Yes, I know Robin is the mom figure, and just like a mom, sometimes she needs a mental (and physical) break. If you go to her and say you have dinner reservations at a restaurant or want to take her shopping or to a cafe- the happiness and shock on her face is immense.

She's so used to doing things for others that “princess treatment” is so foreign to her and admittedly, she finds it’s very nice to be taken care of. Surprise dates every once in a while keep her on her toes and are another confirmation to her that you really love her.

But sometimes, it’s nice to just relax beside you. Robin is not too talkative in general, so often you two might spend time reading/doing something in the same room silently or cuddling each other. Robin really lets her guard down with you and it’s such a treat to see her smile so softly and that adoring look in her eyes too-

Side note: can you imagine Robin being so comfortable with you that she may just infodump about history or whatever she’s reading? Oh my god, the way she’s excitedly discussing a historical event or plant or something out loud because you just make her feel so safe until she realizes oops she’s rambling to you then looks up at you only to see you looking and listening at her because you love how happy she looks and how much she loves her job??? She just melts. (I’m melting too I love my wife)

Robin often tilts your chin to her and gives you a peck on your cheek then winks as she walks away.

NSFW

Y’all knew this Robin is ON TOP!!!

I don’t think she’d specifically have a mommy kink but if you called her that she’d chuckle and find it humorous and play along. It does grow on her after a while.

A tease. Truly, she will live up to her moniker of Devil Child with the way she teases you. Whether it’s whispering she’s not wearing any panties or is wearing a certain lingerie you like, or bending down to show off her assets to you, or straight up summoning a hand to touch you discreetly- she’s evil.

But, she is a very rewarding lover, and she, after hours (or what feels like hours) of hell, will finally give you the touches you so crave.

Loves adding sex toys to the mix. Her many hands are wonderful in teasing you further. She admittedly wanders into the sex shops to get something new for you guys to experiment with.

Lingerie isn’t something she wears often, so when she does, that’s a sign she really wants to fuck you or has something special planned for you.

Not a particularly hard dom. She prefers to spoil or at least just use some power dynamics. She won’t beat you black and blue or choke the life outta you- I doubt she would consider doing such a thing. It would take a lot to convince her to get “harder” on you if you are a big masochist.

She tends to leave plenty of hickies on you. But sometimes she leaves one that’s a bit more exposed to others. If you complain about it, she’ll apologize with a smile and say she just didn’t realize- but with the way she’s standing so proudly, it’s more likely she did it on purpose just to tease you again. She’s more possessive than she lets on.

So, we all know she uses her Devil Fruit to tease you. Extra hands and stuff to maybe hold you down or touch you elsewhere- it’s to be expected. Sometimes, though, she gets a bit experimental and (after the time skip) will summon another full clone of herself to get involved in your bedroom activities.

Doesn’t mind threesomes (beyond the ones with a clone of herself), and is willing to try them. Only thing is that they need to be a close confidant of hers, otherwise she’d feel rather awkward or uncertain about their motivations. (Who you want that third person to be is up to your imagination, dear <3)

Aftercare is lovely, and often consists of you two sitting in a bath together. She can’t use her powers in the bath, so this is another way of letting her guard down with you and showing you how much she trusts you.

#one piece x reader #one piece #one piece smut #smut #one piece hcs #nico robin x reader #nico robin #robin x reader #x reader

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snorky · 7 months ago

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hi, so idk if u still write for canucks nils hoglander, so if you don't im so sorry for bothering you. if you do, would you be able to write an imagine where nils is interested in one of the canucks employees, like social media or reporter and is trying to ask her out but fails multiple times before eventually with some help asking her out?

You're A Forbidden Delicacy, And I Won't Leave A Crumb

Hey y’all! And hello to the lovely requester! I still do write for Nils, so thank you for the request (which I really love and got carried away with). I really apologize to everyone for how long this has taken me, my life has been all over the place and I am still trying to get things sorted out, but I truly, from the bottom of my heart appreciate the patience you all have. This is a Nils Höglander fic, with a F!Reporter!Reader, which is a little longer than what my stories are normally. I hope you all enjoy this fic, and please remember to take care of yourself!

Word Count: 6.1k

Pairing: Nils Höglander x F!Reader

Warnings: Romantic tension, kissing? (Let me know if I need to add anything)

—

A knock was heard on the door to her office, where she was deep in her work preparing for tonight’s game, followed by the familiar voice of her colleague and friend.

“Hey lovely! Here are the spreadsheets and rundown of the stats from the last three games,” her friend said, setting a few papers on her desk.

She smiled back and felt a wave of relief. “Thank you,” she sighed. “I was wondering when the stats would come in from my favorite data analyst.”

“Oh, stop,” she chuckled. “You know how playoffs are.”

She nodded in agreement, noticing that the energy within the air, and more specifically, the arena, was more electrifying than ever.

Looking up from the documents, she saw one of the players walk by the door, giving her a smile and a friendly wave before walking off. She knew him, Nils Höglander, but she had only had small-talk and nothing more.

Her friend looked over her shoulder, a knowing smile appearing on her face. “Someone caught your eye?”

The blush on her face seemed to intensify, almost shamefully like a kid caught with candy. “No—” Taking a quick sip of her water, she hoped that the warmth on her face eased up.

“Alright, take it easy, go Canucks!” she cheered as she walked out of the office.

A smile made its way to her face as she turned back to her work. “Go Canucks!”

An hour or two passed by as she worked on reading the documents, preparing how she was going to announce the pregame reports, and making sure everything was finalized and set.

It was a fun, fast-paced job that kept her on her toes constantly, and she thrived in it, living in the rush and wanting more of the adrenaline. More rowdiness from the fans, more chants and cheers, and more passion from the city that was hungry for a cup.

“Hello?”

She drew her attention away from her laptop and towards her door, where she saw Quinn standing there, gear still on from the morning skate and practice.

“Hi Quinn, how can I help you?”

He scanned her desk, seemingly searching for something before his eyes landed on her coffee.

“What’s your go-to Tim’s order?” he asked.

She looked at him quizzically, wondering why he asked such a question out of the blue, but didn’t think too much about it. “Vanilla latte, why?”

“Nothin’” he shrugged, clearly more than nothing. “Have a nice day.” He walked away with a sly smile, making her more confused than nothing.

“You…too, Quinn,” she said, looking at her coffee with suspicion.

As she took a sip, it tasted the same still, maybe a little more room temperature, but nothing odd or wrong.

A few more hours passed, and before she knew it, the clock was counting down till puck drop. The arena already felt alive, the familiar blue and green decor that hung around her office reminding her.

She got up from her desk, making her way out of her office as her shoes tapped on the floor, echoing down the hall. Having all the important information and stats in her mind, she felt confident about how tonight’s game will go.

When she made it near the rink, she was greeted by a few other of her co-workers, as well as the media crew for the team, gear and equipment and smiles all set. The ice in the rink looked fresh and crisp, ready for a tough game.

“Ready for Game Six?” One of her co-workers asked.

She smiled and straightened up her posture, pride swelling within her. “Born ready. Go ‘Nucks.”

As the camera went live, everything else came naturally to her. The confidence, the excitement, and the adrenaline.

“Welcome back to Rogers Arena everyone, where tonight, the Canucks will face off again against the Nashville Predators in Game Six of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, hoping to eliminate the Predators, and advance to the second round.”

The arena started to fill up with fans, mainly fans of the Canucks, but there were a few Predators jerseys spread throughout.

Skaters headed out onto the ice, preparing to warm up as the arena cheered for each side, hoping that their team would win tonight’s game.

Adrenaline. Euphoria. Pride. So many emotions swelling inside of her, and she felt so alive and yet lost in a dream.

“As the Canucks hope to grab a win, the spotlight stands on the top players, with Boeser having four goals in this post-season, all within the past three games, and J.T. Miller with six points, pushing the Canucks forward in the playoffs,”

The statistics sounded impressive, and even on paper they looked unbelievable, but it was the Canucks, and she saw the potential long ago as they were developing.

One player especially caught her eye, but she would never admit to who, because it was mainly extremely unprofessional of her, and also because of the complications it could bring up.

And as if the devil cursed her thoughts, she met his eyes as the media crew was moved behind the bench, sharing a smile as he went and got a quick sip of his water before skating back out onto the ice.

“Hoping Höglander scores huh?”

She turned her head quickly to the voice her friend before turning away, hoping she didn’t see the blush that was dusted on her cheeks.

“Best hope is that every Canuck scores one,” she laughed, trying to push the topic somewhere else.

Her friend let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh gosh, and I’d be the one needing to calculate all the stats,”

As the warmups came to an end, a few of the players returned to the bench, Nils being one of them, and he gave her a quick smile and wave before refocusing on the game that his teammates were playing.

With quick plays and quick movements, the puck moved up and down the ice, from offense to defense, keeping everyone in the arena on their toes.

Fans roared with each close call, the atmosphere buzzing, static in the air, and before she knew it, the first intermission was starting.

The players poured into the tunnel, making their way back to the locker room after no goals from either team in the first period. Tensions still felt high, like a cord that could snap at any moment.

She waited out on the bench, fiddling with a pen and her notepad as her manager was trying to find one of the players to interview for a brief moment, hoping to get a word or two about the current game.

After a few minutes, she saw Brock walking out with her manager, a gentle expression on his face as usual.

The interview went smoothly as the rest of the night did, with one goal from the Canucks that led to a win as they advanced to the next round of the playoffs.

In the locker room afterwards, the place was rowdy, players and coaches celebrating their win with as much energy as they could. It set the stage for greatness, hope lingering in the air for a long playoff run.

Across the locker room from the doorway she stood under, her eyes met Nils, looking slightly disheveled, a mess even, but he still looked so, fulfilling. He smiled when he noticed her gaze, his eyes crinkling up.

And as the night eased in, the sky outside a crisp darkness, she walked to her car in the parking lot, her work bag slung over her shoulder as she was ready to go home, exhausted, but at ease.

A gentle smile was plastered on her face, gratitude for every little thing she worked so hard for to end up in the career field she was in, all the work paying off.

As she reached for the car door, she saw a figure walking towards her, at a rather quick pace, and she rushed to try and unlock the car.

The footsteps came closer, near stomping against the ground, and she felt panic.

“Hey! Wait, I need to talk to you!”

Turning her head quickly, her unease didn’t seem to dissipate despite the slightly familiar voice.

She unlocked her door frantically, got inside and locked it immediately, trying to recompose herself, still clutching her bag against her.

The man tapped on the window, causing her to lose the color in her face for a quick moment before realizing that it was Nils.

Letting out a breath, relief filled her, but she quickly started to scold him. “Nils, what the hell!”

“Sorry, sorry, I wanted to ask you a question,” he said sheepishly, voice muffled by the fact that he was outside.

She rolled down the window, a tight lipped smile on her face. “Yes?” Noticing how he seemed to fidget awkwardly, her expression slowly changed to concern. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he responded. “I was just wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me sometime, I’d like to get to know you more,”

His face was a pinkish tint, illuminated by the interior light of her car. A warm blush started to envelope her face at his question, but she knew it felt wrong.

“Nils, I’m sorry but as much as I would like that, it would be unprofessional for the both of us, and we could lose our job.” Her tone remained professional, but there was a twinge of somberness within it.

A disappointed, but understanding smile appeared on his face. “I get it.” He was still sweet as ever, and she even felt a little guilty at her answer. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright, have a good night Nils, you did great tonight,” she smiled.

Smiling back, he gave her a nod of appreciation. “You did as well. Have a good night,”

He walked away from her car, looking back only once to notice that she kept her eyes on him, but pulled away when he saw.

She drove away, off into the night where the traffic died down, and where the Vancouver glow was as dreamy as it always was to her, an ageless magic.

Morning came, sunrise bright and early as she arrived back at the arena. There was no game planned for the day, only practice and training to prepare for the next game.

As she walked down the hall to her office, she noticed that her door was open, despite having locked it the night before. The only people who were also in the arena as early as her were the players, coaches, and athletic trainers.

Stepping into her office, she saw a cup of coffee placed on her desk, along with a sticky note beside it. It smelt familiar, and as she took a sip, she noticed that it was her order.

She read the sticky note, and it was a sweet message from Nils hoping that her day would go well, and a smile drawn at the end.

It was a sweet gesture, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the note as she read it over again, somehow trying to dissect a deeper meaning.

“Oh, so you found it,” Quinn chuckled.

Startled by his sudden presence, she jumped, spilling a little bit of coffee on her sweater.

“Ow!” Yelping in slight pain, her face was hot in embarrassment. “Sorry, I’m okay,” she laughed nervously, attempting to somehow magically wipe the stain away.

“I should apologize,” he said, grabbing some tissues from her desk. “Nils is not going to be too happy with me for making you spill coffee on your clothes,”

Like clockwork, he walked by her office and saw the commotion, brow perked up in curiosity. “What about me?”

Turning her head over to look at him, she had a sheepish smile, still holding the note and coffee in her hands. “Hi, Nils.”

He noticed the stain on her clothes, and motioned to her to give him a minute as he ran off, leaving both Quinn and her confused.

Setting the tissues on the table, he muttered out an apology before running off after Nils down the hall.

Now, she was even more confused, unsure of everything that had happened. Putting everything down, she settled on just starting on her work, checking emails and the schedule for the day.

Minutes passed by, and her friend knocked on the door to her office, handing her the spreadsheets of the statistics.

“Good morning lovely, I got you your stats in case anyone was up for interviews today,” she said, still sweet as ever.

Giving her a light laugh, she shook her head. “Thanks, but no thanks. Spilled coffee on myself and I don’t think I’d like to be on camera today.” She pointed to her clothes.

“Awh, really? That’s terrible,” she sighed, sitting down in the chair in front of her desk. “If I had a spare shirt, I’d give it to you in a heartbeat.”

She put her hand over her heart, “Really? You’re always so sweet,”

Another knock came on her door, and they both looked up from her laptop and documents. Nils was standing here under the doorframe, holding a Canucks sweatshirt in his hands.

“Did I interrupt something?” His voice was barely above a whisper, careful and cautious.

She shook her head with a smile, motioning for him to come in. “Not at all,”

Her friend gave her a smirk and a knowing look. “I need to go get something from my office, see you near the rink,” she said, standing up and walking out of her office.

It was just him standing and her sitting in the office now, the hum of her speakers playing music softly, and time flowed like a river of honey.

The way he looked at her was gentle, warm, and she wanted him to keep looking at her like this forever. His slightly disheveled hair made him look even more raw, something in its purest form.

“I got you one of my sweatshirts,” he spoke softly, afraid to break the air that seemed so intoxicating. “So you don’t have to wear the one with the coffee stain.”

His eyes seemed to observe her every movement, trailing up her arm and to her face as she looked up at him.

She placed her hand on his forearm cautiously, afraid of him pulling away. “You didn’t have to Nils, I’m alright.”

Shaking his head, he wouldn’t take her words. “I insist,”

Her hand moved towards the sweatshirt hesitantly, eyes still looking at him, and stopping before actually reaching it.

“It’ll look better on you, and probably more comfortable.” His voice was quiet, his words easing from his lips.

Silently nodding, she accepted the sweatshirt from his hands as he kept his gaze on her. The air was hot and thick, like a jelly-dessert with extra sweet whipped cream dolloped on the top, a tart maraschino cherry reminding her of the consequences if she made a mistake.

She got up from her desk, walking over to the door of her office. “I’ll go change into this, you can stay a little longer.” Twisting the doorknob, she walked out, leaving Nils still standing there in her office, leaning against the desk.

When she came back from the bathroom, his Canucks sweatshirt on her loosely, holding her stained sweater, he was still there, just as she hoped, but yet, she felt the fear of being caught creeping up on her.

“Don’t you have practice?” she asked, voice careful.

He tilted his head quizzically, almost pondering her words delicately. “You know I have more than a few minutes to spare,” he said, walking over to her. “Most of the guys don’t come into the locker room until ten anyways.”

His hand trailed to the bottom hem of her sweatshirt, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. Looking up at her, he searched for any sign of discomfort, and she stood there, looking back at him, blushed and flustered, wanting more of him.

“Don’t be so nervous, it’s just us in here,” he whispered. “This looks a lot better on you than it does on me, keep it.”

As he let go of the sweatshirt, she found herself wanting to feel his touch on it again, but when she looked up, he was already waving good-bye as he walked out of her office.

A sigh escaped her lips, unaware of the breath that she held. She walked back to her desk, flipping through the documents as she waited for time to pass.

None of it felt real. The past few moments, or even days, were slightly different and odd. Maybe it was the rush of the playoffs, skewing everything into a different perspective, or maybe, it was something else that she was too afraid to admit.

Her phone buzzed on her desk, causing her to be pulled away from her work.

We need you near the ice right now - Fav Data Analyst

No you don’t?

Yeah you’re right, but I miss you :( - Fav Data Analyst

Okay, be down in a bit

Smiling at the messages, she felt grateful for how tight-knit the crew seemed to be, feeling like a second family.

Shortly later, she was met with the smile and wave of her friend, calling her over to the bench. A few other members of the media and training crew were also at the bench, watching the practice unfold in front of them.

“So glad you’re here, it gets a little lonely,”

She looked at her in slight confusion, “With all these people around you?” She gestured.

“They’re not you,” her friend shrugged.

Laughing at her words, she noticed that it caught the attention of Nils on the ice, his eyes almost burning into her for a brief moment.

“You’re such a flirt, unnecessary.”

Her friend raised a brow at her, observing the sweatshirt that she was wearing. “I think that the only thing unnecessary is the fact that I’m one-hundred percent sure I’ve seen that sweatshirt somewhere,”

Rose tinted her cheeks as she felt slightly embarrassed, knowing that her friend knew exactly where she got the sweatshirt from.

A few minutes passed by, and she saw that Nils was skating back to the bench to grab a drink of his water. The way he looked at her while taking a sip could only be described as desire, eyeing her up like a kid looking at pastries from outside the glass.

His scruff seemed to fit him perfectly, rough and raw, and at the same time, gentle like himself. The playoffs definitely ignited something in him, and she found herself wanting to watch it all.

Before she could realize, practice was over, and the players were skating off of the ice one by one. Grabbing her bag, she walked back up to where her office was.

It was nearing lunch time, but she wanted to tidy up her office space a bit before heading out. She put the documents that her friend gave to her in a folder, placing it inside of her bag along with her laptop.

The cup of coffee from Nils was still on her desk, finished and empty, and so she threw it in the trash, but kept the handwritten note.

As she locked the door to her office, she turned around and bumped directly into Nils, crashing into him.

“Shoot! I’m so sorry—”

“You’re okay.”

His strong hands were placed on the sides of her arms, stabilizing her. Looking at him, he was slightly flushed, a bead of sweat or two lining his brow from the practice.

“Sorry, where are you headed?” he asked, hands quickly moving off of her when he noticed what he was doing. “Just wondering, I don’t mean to be weird or anything—”

“Don’t worry about it, Nils. I’m just headed to the Chipotle nearby for a quick lunch,” she said lightly, almost caught off guard by how less bold he seemed compared to earlier.

A bright smile appeared on his face, “Oh, really? Because I was just about to head over too,” he laughed, a sweet blush dusting his face.

“Awh, that’s neat.” Her response was less than what she wanted to say, but she wanted to keep it professional.

They both walked towards the exit of the arena together, silence shared between the both of them as they were greeted by the warm weather, unfamiliar for Vancouver.

The streets were busy as usual, the rush of traffic coming and going, but it didn’t bother her since she was walking, not driving. As much as she hated traffic, she couldn’t deny the fact that it looked mesmerizing from afar at night, the glow of the headlights mimicking the city.

When she arrived at the restaurant, it was jam packed with people, not surprising for the time of day, but it was something that she wasn’t expecting.

She felt an arm nudge her side, drawing her attention towards Nils.

“I’ll pay for our food, it’s on me,”

“You don’t have to—”

He shook his head in disagreement, motioning for her to get in the queue with him, to which she followed behind him as they waited in line.

Her eyes scanned the room nervously, hoping to not see her boss or any of her co-workers at the restaurant since she was out with Nils.

If she was caught, she could potentially lose her job, which meant everything to her, but more importantly, she would have to be away from those she grew closest to. Away from Vancouver, and away from Nils.

And as if on cue, he started speaking, only loud enough for the both of them to hear. “Management won’t fire us for having a friendly lunch together, we’re okay,”

She simply nodded in response, a tight-lipped smile that still had a hint of unease to it.

After they got their orders, they decided to go back into the arena to eat rather than at the restaurant, food in hand as they walked there. It was a quiet and peaceful walk, but the weather started to turn into a cloudy gray, rain threatening to fall.

Looking up at the sky, she could tell it was only going to get worse. “Weather doesn’t look too good,” she mumbled, hoping that her papers wouldn’t get ruined.

He hummed in response, also looking up at the sky. “We should hurry,”

“Oh, really?” Her tone was sarcastic as she laughed, which in turn caused him to laugh as well.

He had a mischievous look in his eyes, and she knew that he had something in mind. “I’ll race you to the lounge in the arena,”

Before she could speak, he was already sprinting in the direction of the arena, and she followed suit, wondering how she would even catch up.

While she was running after him, she saw Elias near the front, most likely waiting for his food to be delivered.

“Petey! I need you to do a quick favor for me please,” she blurted, slightly out of breath.

He looked at her in confusion, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah?”

“I need you to unlock the lounge door.”

Shrugging, he led the way to the elevator as they headed up to the floor that the lounge was on. He then unlocked the door, to which she thanked him plenty of times for as he walked back to get his own food.

Throwing herself onto one of the chairs that was in the lounge, she let out a sigh of relief, food still in the bag and unopened.

“How on earth did you get here before me—”

She turned her head to the door, seeing Nils there, panting, out of breath, hand holding onto the door frame. His hair was soaked, dripping onto his shirt, most likely from the rain that started to fall harder since she got inside.

“I went through the front entrance,” she said nonchalantly. “Why?”

A surprised look was scrawled on his face. “The front entrance wasn’t under construction?”

She shook her head to his question.

“Why did Petey tell me that it was?”

A laugh bubbled out from her throat, causing her to hunch over as he sat down across from her. “Petey—he—let me in and use the elevator and pass to get in the lounge with no hesitation,”

While she found the situation hilarious, he on the other hand, was embarrassed, face flushed red.

“You owe me lunch next, that was foul play.” He opened his bag and started eating his burrito bowl, sitting comfortably on the couch.

Her lunch was already in her hands, the warmth radiating from it nicely as she got cozy. “Nope.”

They both ate quietly in the lounge, the sound of the rain tapping on the windows gently as Vancouver became a grayish gloom, completely different from the warm, comforting glow of the lounge lights.

It felt eerily domestic, the quiet peace, the shared, comforting silence, too strange to even consider it something just in the workplace between Nils and her. It felt like something that she could get lost into so easily, something along the lines of a classic fairytale romance.

“What’cha staring at?”

His voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and a rose-tinted blush was dusted over her face as she averted her glance.

“Nothing, just lost in thought,” she shrugged, hoping to play it off.

Her food was nearly finished, only small bits and scraps left which she prodded with her fork as she was deciding on whether or not she should throw it away or take it home.

The phone in her pocket buzzed, causing her to get up and throw the food away before excusing herself, walking into the hall to pick up the call.

“Hello?”

The familiar voice of her friend could be heard through the phone. “Hey, where are you? I thought you would be in the office by now.”

“Oh, sorry. I got caught up with something. Do you need me there now?”

“More like caught up with someone,”

Even through the phone, she could tell that her friend was giving her a knowing look accompanied with a wink.

“But anyways, I don’t need you ASAP but just enjoy your lunch with that special someone. Get back to me when you can.”

She let out a sigh, having already been outside the lounge. “Will do, love you lots.”

Her friend reciprocated the departure as she hung up, sliding the phone back into her pocket as she made her way to her office.

Nils left the lounge shortly after she hung up the phone, but he heard the last part of her call, which set him on edge. He didn’t know much about her personal life, and he wasn’t even sure if he was overstepping some personal boundaries of hers.

As the days passed, tensions rose in the arena as the Canucks went against the Oilers. Everyone felt restless, unease, not being able to properly get comfortable. Even after each win, it still felt like it wasn’t enough.

She stared at her laptop screen, sifting through the goals scored and other notable statistics of each game, somehow searching for a way to win with full certainty. Her fingers tapped against the desk nervously, and it felt like every poster and memorabilia on the wall was a relic to pray to.

The sound of childish bickering could be heard outside of her office, and she leaned back to try and get a glance at who it was. “Come in? The door is open I think—”

Her door swung open, and there stood a flustered Nils and a giggly Quinn attempting to push him into the room, whispering some sort of encouragement.

“Is everything alright?” She turned her chair to face the door, slowly getting up.

His playoff beard was starting to grow more, giving him a more masculine look that made her slightly weak, but he still kept a soft gentleness that she always liked from him.

“If I score tonight, will you get dinner with me?” Nils’s voice was quiet and nervous, but Quinn still stood in the doorway, waiting for a response from her.

She gave him a smirk, and she felt a wave of boldness overcome her. “I know you’ll score anyways, but we have a deal,”

He smiled with a blush and waved her goodbye as he ushered Quinn and him out of her office.

Time didn’t seem to pass quick enough, and she found herself pacing back and forth from her office to the rink. She had already prepared her report, all the information and stats needed for the pre-game announcements.

Taking in a deep breath, she tried to remind herself that the game would go well, but the pre-game jitters still ran rampant inside of her.

At the end of the hall, she could see her friend waving her over, holding something in her hands. As she walked closer, she could see that it was two Canucks jerseys, unnumbered and unnamed.

“I didn’t know which one you’d want—well I did know, but I didn’t want any rumors to spread for professionalism’s sake—so I got you a jersey for the game tonight.” She smiled.

It made sense, but she didn’t know why she was allowed to wear a jersey tonight. “Management let you?” she said, confused.

“Yeah, odd, but I don’t mind it.” She placed the jersey in her hands, the athletic material brushing against her palms. “Hoping we snag a win tonight,”

She let out a sigh, anxious but hopeful. “Me too,”

A few minutes before puck drop, she stood near the glass beside the rink, the blue and green lights of the arena giving the place an eerie glow.

Her jersey was on, Canucks emblem proudly displayed on the front as she got ready to give the pre-game report.

“Welcome everyone to Rogers Arena where the Canucks are facing off tonight against the Edmonton Oilers, hoping to get a win in this series. Tonight, the focus and spotlight is shifted onto our players to watch, having performed greatly these past few games,”

The camera was then panned to the players practicing on the ice as she moved to the bench, standing behind the players beside the coaches and athletic crew.

And as the game started, the arena was tense. The sounds of the stick smacking on the ice could be heard, cheering, chanting, and puck calling all too familiar. The building was loud and the fans were riled up, hoping to not be let down.

Minutes passed by, and the puck was being moved up and down the ice, and just as it made it into the offensive zone for the Canucks, leading to a goal for Elias Petterson.

Fans cheered and shouted as the goal horn went off, banners flying and waving through the air as the players celebrated the first goal of the game.

She cheered from the bench as well, celebrating with her colleagues and friends, full of adrenaline and joy. Even though Nils hadn’t scored yet, she was still hopeful that he would, having seen a couple of close calls that bounced off of the post or barely stopped by the goalie.

As the first period came to an end, the players filed off into the locker room as the media crew and her gave a quick first intermission report.

She could feel her heart beating in her chest, the oh so familiar feeling of being high with the rush of energy, the way it felt so unreal despite experiencing it over and over again.

Before she knew it, the second period was starting, players in their position in the neutral zone waiting for the puck to hit the ice. Her eyes watched every player carefully, observing each number and and keeping note of who is where and when at every second.

When she saw Nils get onto the ice, time felt like it was solid as she held her breath.

He weaved through the other players, gaining possession of the puck before passing it back to Quinn.

As the goalie thought Quinn was going to shoot, he passed it back to Nils, who scored a wrist shot that went over the goalie and into the goal.

The horn went off as the fans started to cheer wildly, the players celebrating on the ice again with picturesque smiles and hugs while she was on the bench, face dusted with a blush as she tried her hardest to play it off as over-exerted cheering.

She could see the smirk on his face, knowing that the deal was already set, and she could also see how Quinn was pointing at Nils, most likely teasing him about the bet.

The game went on, slower than what she wanted, but by the end of it all, it was a two-nothing victory for the Canucks, leading to a happy team, and more specifically, a happy Nils. The locker room was amped, music blaring as she walked by, the sound of grown men trying their best to sing along, and a smile scrawled on her face.

She had already done the post-game report, albeit, a very rushed one with a flustered look on her face, but she tried her hardest to remain as professional as possible. Her bag was packed and all ready to head home, files and papers in folders, laptop in its case, and every muscle in her body felt ready to collapse.

The rain was rampant outside, splashing in puddles outside on the concrete, and she knew she had to either be quick, or deal with a soaked jersey, and the last option did not sound too pleasant.

Staring into the now empty parking lot, she allowed herself to take a few deep breaths in, feeling the cool air fill her lungs, and breathing out, with her muscles relaxing.

She could hear footsteps behind her, but like a second instinct, she knew exactly who it was.

“Nils,” she said quietly.

He paused before taking another step towards her, the air now seemingly filled with a static. “You’re going to catch a cold,”

“You as well.”

A small chuckle escaped his lips, followed by a sigh. “Let’s get to your car first, then we’ll talk,”

She led the way to her car, hair becoming more messy and soaked from the rain. When she looked back, she saw Nils following behind her, but he looked even more tempting with his unkempt hair.

Placing her bag in the car, she turned back to Nils, seeing him stand there waiting for her.

He looked at her, observing every detail of her with no shame. “That jersey looks beautiful on you, ya’know?”

“Oh, stop it, Nils,” she blushed. “When and where is the dinner I was promised?”

Pulling out his phone, he asked for her number, to which she gave him it. She had trust that he would actually follow through with his promise, and so she didn’t ask for him to check it again.

“I mean it, you look gorgeous and always have. Even right now.”

She looked up at him, admiring his features silently for a few while her fingers ghosted over the lapel of his suit.

“May I?” He asked, hand hovering over the small of her back.

As soon as she nodded, he pulled her into a tender kiss, lips pressed against hers. It felt like everything from the past few weeks all started to become worth it, the waiting, the stares and glances. All of it.

The rain continued to fall between them, cold against the warmth of their bodies, and she didn’t want to pull away any time soon.

Her eyes remained shut, but she knew he looked so handsome with his lips pressed to hers. His scruff was scratching against her face, but she knew that she wouldn’t ever mind it at all.

Butterflies were loose inside of her, fluttering wildly as if she waited for this moment for far too long.

His touch, his fingers against her chin was full of sparks, and his other hand on her back seemed to be the only thing grounding her to reality, reminding her that this moment was real, and forever in her memories.

When they both finally pulled away, breathing heavily, their lips were swollen and tender, smiles painted on their faces.

He had a sort of angelic glow to him, ethereally irresistible, and she pulled him in for a quick peck once more.

“Can’t get enough of me already?” He chuckled.

She shook her head as she opened her car door, sitting inside as she gave him a gentle smile. “Could never get enough of you.”

He took her hand in his palm, giving it a gentle kiss before he waved goodbye to her again. “Please, get home safe,”

“Will do, Nils. I’ll see you tomorrow,”

As she drove off with a dopey smile, she could still feel the warmth of him and each touch of his vividly, and she knew the glow of the lights in Vancouver would never be the same again.

#nhl #hockey #nhl hockey #nhl writing #nhl fic #hockey fic #hockey imagine #vancouver canucks fluff #vancouver canucks #nils hoglander fluff #nils hoglander #nils hoglander x reader #nils hoglander imagine #nils hoglander fic #nils höglander #nils höglander x reader

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keep-the-wolves-close · 10 months ago

Text

Steady Heart

Chapter 18: What Comes Naturally

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

* Warnings: language, Kayce and Stella shenanigans, Ryan being an idiot

* Word count: 3,788ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all

Author's note: Welcome to season two everyone! Off with a bang! I just finished getting more chapters queued, so I wanted to treat you all to another chapter early! I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well! As always feel free to scream with me, as long as you don’t mind me rambling this dang story in reply, in my ask box. I’d love to hear from y’all!

Stella jumped and opened her eyes wide as she felt a hand on her forearm. The silhouette next to her was Kayce shaped. He knelt down on the balls of his feet next to her bunk, which was beneath his. As she realized it was him, she relaxed a bit and blinked hard at him. She rubbed her eyes. Kayce had his finger over his lips in a shushing gesture. Her face scrunched at him. He motioned toward the outside and handed her glasses to her.

She put them on and followed Kayce out the door. On the way out, she grabbed her boots. She opted to put them on outside of the bunkhouse. Her brother would definitely have woken up from the sound of her boots hitting the floor. The two of them had just snuck back into the bunkhouse and gone to bed four hours ago. It was now 4:30 in the morning and Stella was very confused.

Stella stage whispered as she tried to catch up to Kayce’s six foot stature. “Kayce, wait! My legs are shorter than yours!”

“Well you better get a move on then,” he taunted smoothly as he sped up to get into the barn. Stella grumbled to herself about him being a ‘stupid long legged ass bitch.’ When she finally caught up to him, he already had Tank ready and Abigail half done.

“What are you doing?” She asked flatly.

He answered as if it was obvious. “What’s it look like? I’m getting our horses ready for the day.”

“I can see that, but why exactly?”

“Do you always ask this many questions in the morning?”

“It was two questions, first of all, and second, typically no. When I just laid down to sleep only four hours ago and I’m rudely woken up, however? Yes.” She watched amused as Kayce remembered every little detail of what she did with her saddle. He was so focused she was shocked he remembered he was in the conversation.

“So again, why are you getting my horse ready? My job here doesn’t always require her to be saddled.”

“Because there’s a bunch of bulls hiding out in a thicket.” He paused and patted Abigail’s shoulder. “And we’re gonna get ‘em out.”

Stella blinked while her brain took a second to catch up. “Wait, just you and I? Because I’m not doubting us as a team, but that’s a little much for two people and that many bulls. I’m selectively reckless, not stupid.”

Kayce huffed out a laugh. “No, sweets. All of the bunkhouse, and some of Travis’s crew. But I knew you would want to come along too.”

She squinted at him and made a hmm noise. She wasn’t shocked that with all this time apart, Kayce still knew her like the back of his hand. Of course she wanted to be in the middle of the action. She looked away and said quietly, “thank you.” She didn’t want to tell him out right that he was correct in his assumption.

Kayce laughed because he knew he was right. “I still know you, sugar.”

“You know Ryan is going to object loudly, right?” She overlooked his previous statement.

“Which is exactly why,” he pointed at Stella, “we have our horses ready to go before anyone else does. Gonna beat ‘em to the punch.”

“Okay that’s actually a great idea.”

“See? I do have those every once and a while.” They shared a laugh and brought their horses out to the round pen.

Kayce looked at Stella from over the top of his horse. She was unaware of his observation of her. Even in the middle of some scheme of theirs, she was content. Happy to go wherever the plan took them. She trusted him. He might even dare say she fully trusted him. Especially after his confession the night before. ‘Maybe it just hasn’t hit her yet. Once it does? She’ll leave. Just like Monica.’ The pessimistic voice in his head mocked him. He shook his head to get the thoughts away.

He continued studying her. A calm washed over him. He hadn’t understood how she did that to him when they were teenagers, and he still didn’t quite grasp it. Her brown hair was down for a change, which made her seem so much softer. She looked over at him and settled her glasses and smiled. By god if that didn’t stop him short for a second. ‘Oh hell.’ He had to remind himself to breathe.

She laughed quietly. “What? Is the bed head real right now?”

“No, just thinking.”

“Dear lord, that’s a dangerous thing.”

“C’mon, let’s go. Everyone should be starting to wake up.”

They made their way back into the bunkhouse. Lloyd and Rip were fully awake and ready to go to the barn. Everyone else slowly came to life. They were either getting out of their bunks, or milling about in the kitchen, making coffee as they tried to get their brains running.

Rip and Lloyd watched the duo come in. The men silently glanced at each other and then back to the two troublemakers. They gave off the air that they were up to something. They both wandered into the kitchen, not saying anything to anyone. Kayce grabbed two mugs and made coffee for the both of them.

Stella grabbed the mug from his hands and took a deep breath in above the steam. He remembered just how she liked her coffee. She sighed gratefully. “Oh Kayce,” the way she said his name almost stopped his heart. “You’re an angel. Thank you.”

Colby witnessed the domestic act and pulled his eyebrows together. He tapped Ryan on the shoulder and nodded to the pair. They decided to join the group in the kitchen.

“What are you two up to?” Ryan immediately accused. His eyes were barely open.

“Well damn. Good morning to you too, sweet brother of mine.” Rip chuckled into his coffee cup from the background.

“Yes, hi, good morning. Now what are you two up to?” Ryan was unamused at his sister’s potential antics this early.

“Nothing, you paranoid helicopter mom. I’m getting coffee before I go help y’all chase those bulls outta whatever thicket they got themselves hidden in.”

“Oh hell no. Absolutely not.” Rip and Lloyd decided now was the perfect time to leave and let the children sort it out amongst themselves.

“And why not? An angry cow, especially one with a calf, does just about the same amount of damage and I’ve rounded them up with y’all plenty of times. I fail to see the difference.”

Colby objected along with his best friend. “We don’t need to be concerned about you while we’re trying to worry about the bulls and dogs, Stella.”

Kayce balked at Colby’s condescension. “I don’t remember her needing to ask your fuckin’ permission, Colby.” He focused back on Ryan. “How about I keep an eye on your sister, and you all worry about the rest?”

“How ‘bout I don’t need anyone to watch out for me while rounding up. That’s what my mare is for. Thank you.”

This wasn’t going the way he’d planned. Kayce guarded her and put himself between Stella and the rest of the agitated group. “Your sister is just as good at rounding as the rest of us are. I say she goes.”

Jake interjected, “I mean she does make for one hell of a wrangler. Especially with that horse of hers.” The agreement with the opposing opinion started a loud debate. It was so distracting that Stella tugged on the back of Kayce’s shirt to let him know she was leaving and disappeared from the crowd while they made all that racket.

Kayce started quietly, “Hey,” they didn’t stop hollering so he yelled, “Hey!” The group got eerily silent and stared at the usually soft spoken man. “You all do realize she already left, right?” He smiled at the thought of her getting the drop on everyone. He might even say he was proud.

They all scrambled to make their way outside to find Stella first. They found her sitting off to the side, ready to go on Abigail. She held the reins of Kayce’s horse in her hand too. Lloyd and Rip were on their horses already as well, sitting next to her, not hiding their look of pride.

Stella said, “She’s ready to go herd the hell out of some bulls. And I’ll be damned if I listen to the opinion of several men whose asses aren’t washed, and refuse her the right.” Kayce laughed loudly as he walked toward Tank, who Stella still had a hold of for him.

Ryan accused, “You helped her plan this shit, didn’t you Kayce?”

The pair sat on their horses, and looked smug at the group not saying anything. Stella shrugged noncommittally at her brother’s accusation. Just like old times. They heard a gravelly chuckle and laughter from off to the left. It was John and Travis.

John made his word final. “Did you expect any less from either of them? She’s coming with us. Now drop it.”

Stella and Kayce found the thicket the bulls were hidden in. They both sat there in silence. Every now and again they eyed each other and made a motion, but no words were actually being spoken between them. They heard the rumble of hooves from everyone else coming. John came up on Kayce’s left and Rip and Travis were on Stella’s right.

“They’re in here,” Kayce told the group.

“You seen ‘em?” John asked.

Stella leaned forward and looked at John like he had lost his mind. “Can’t you smell them?”

“We’ll get these horses gored in that thick shit.” Lloyd added.

“Well I'm not leaving $100,000 worth of bulls in that thicket. Send in the dogs.” Rip let out a whistle command to the dogs. The working dogs followed with excited yips and barks. They all could hear the displeasure from the bulls at their hideout being invaded.

“Hey, Travis, why don't you come on over, bring a horse. We'll go for a ride, maybe chase some cows.” Travis complained in a mocking fashion to John.

“You've horse traded me enough, Travis. Time I horse traded you.”

Travis chuckled, “Oh, you think that's funny?” Lloyd and Stella laughed at Travis’s discomfort. There were more disgruntled noises coming from the thicket. Stella and Kayce looked at each other, and silently made a plan of attack.

“Boy, if this don't pucker your red eye, I guess nothing will, huh?” Stella cringed at Lloyd’s description of the task at hand. ‘I definitely could have lived without that.’

Ryan called everyone to action. “Here we go.”

“All right. Nobody be a hero. Turn ‘em together.” John directed.

“Let's go, boys.” Stella called out to everyone else as she kicked Abigail off. She was probably the only one excited for the task. All the men seemed to be a little apprehensive. Even Kayce seemed like he wasn’t as excited as before. She zigged in front of him to his left, and he zagged to her right. Rip, Lloyd and Jake encircled the herd toward the back to push them forward. Kayce and Stella weaved in from the sides and worked them back toward the front of the thicket.

“All right, let's split up.” Someone directed off to Stella’s right. There was so much noise, so many shouts in different directions, and bulls coming at her hot with rage, it was hard to keep up with who was yelling at who.

Stella rolled up toward the back and joined Rip. Her presence captured his attention long enough for him to be able to look her over, and then he nodded forward. They would try and push them ahead.

“Push 'em out this way, Stella-belle.” Rip directed her. She circled them off and began pushing them forward to Kayce and Ryan.

“Hurry up! Here they come!” Jake hollered.

“Go, go, go, go!” Ryan yelled at Stella as he brought up the rear behind her. Once they were out, he galloped by her to help grab the few stragglers that made a wide turn as they came out of the trees. Stella slowed to a trot and waited for Kayce to meet her. He fell into pace next to her and they started to make their way to the rest of the group to help keep the bulls in check and continuing onward.

The dogs barked from the thicket still. That caused Kayce to slow down which made Stella turn Abigail around to face him. Her eyebrows pinched together as she tilted her head at him. He motioned back to the trees. The group behind them had gridlocked the cattle to make a quick count. John came up behind Stella, and he was about to ask her what they were doing. He didn’t have time to because the friends heard one of the dogs yelp and they were off faster than a wildfire took off in dry grass.

“Kayce–”

“–Stella!” John and Ryan shouted at the same time.

“Kayce go right, I got left!” Stella aimed for where the dog was cornered. Kayce came in and wanted to push the bull away from her and the dog.

That was the plan until the bull came at Stella and Abigail full speed ahead and ready to rumble. Abigail put her head low between her knees and kept track of the bull better than Stella could have. The mare jumped right and then left and faked the bull out. It pushed him further toward the exit, but not far enough. He worked on turning around to whip back at the bay roan and her rider. Kayce slotted himself between the bull and Stella.

“Go Stella, I’ll push it out!”

Kayce yelled at the bull behind her. “Yah! Get out of there!”

The brown and white dog stuck to Abigail’s side and Stella directed them back and out the side of the thicket. She could see Ryan in the distance and he looked much paler than normal. He visibly relaxed when he saw her. The brown and white dog ran off and placed itself by the waiting group. John galloped to a place near Stella. He scrutinized her with a look that said, ‘we’ll talk about this later,’ and they waited for Kayce.

They watched as he and the bull busted through the trees. Rip galloped up by John in case Kayce needed help. Kayce reined the bull in. The black and white dog nipped efficiently at its heels. It hopped and bucked. Its drool flopped wildly through the air in strings. With a few final tugs from Kayce, the bull curved off in the correct direction to the rest of the herd. They all let go of the breath they had been holding. Rip turned around and met the rest of the group. Stella caught up to Kayce.

“You okay, cowboy?”

“Yeah, I’m good. You?”

“Had my short life pass in front of me when that bull was coming for me, but I’m good.” She laughed it off. They cantered away to join the rest of the wranglers.

Lloyd loped up to John. “Goddamn boss, that was awful reckless.”

“It's only reckless if you can't see it through.” John wiped his nose and gathered himself. “Hell of a morning, huh?” He patted Lloyd on the shoulder and cantered away.

They finally got all the bulls into the pen. Now they had to get them separated. Stella and Abigail jumped in and started pushing one of the bulls toward the chute. Ryan loped around to the opposite side to bottleneck the bull. Kayce brought up the rear, continuing to push it forward.

The bull got angry at the close proximity of the horses. It lunged toward Stella. Abigail snorted hard and dropped her head low. Practically laying on the ground. She dared the bull to come closer. The mare jumped right and then quickly left. Each time getting closer to the bull. The mare snapped her teeth, trying to bite the bulls shoulder. He felt the pressure and lunged again, but backed off and spun toward the chute.

Once the bull was in, Stella trotted off by the fence line to wait for another bull. She heard John call out her name. She sighed and turned Abigail to trot over to John. Kayce watched closely from a distance. “Yessir?”

“Come here.” He wagged his finger. When he felt she was close enough he launched into her in front of everyone. “What the hell did you think you were doing this morning?!”

Her face fell flat. Unamused at him yelling at her like she was 18 again. She waited for him to be done like a mother waits for her toddler to be finished with a tantrum. Her eyebrows tightened and raised. “I was thinking a dog was gonna get gored all to hell. Kayce thought so too. I don’t see you hollering at him.”

“Yeah well, I took a chance letting you come out with us this morning.”

Stella exploded in fury. “And what exactly did you lose John?!” She yelled back. “Absolutely nothing! You got every single one of your $100,000 worth of bulls out of that thicket, in one piece, and both of the cow dogs are alive! Seems like a small victory to me.”

“What you and Kayce did was stupid —,”

“— don’t you dare get me started on stupid, John.” She pinned him up with a look. He glanced behind her and everyone tried their best to make it look like they weren’t able to hear what was going on. She took a deep breath and tried to calmly respond. “You act like I haven’t been helping with this herd since forever. Since I knew how. I knew the risks, and your son and I had a plan. I was as safe as safe can be. We done here?”

Rather than waiting for him to snap back at her, she nudged Abigail into a trot. She took a place next to her brother. He side eyed her for a few minutes before she got annoyed and glared at him.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked gently.

“No. He’s just being his usual impossible self. Nothing of what Kayce or myself did was out of the ordinary for any of us.” She huffed and pushed Abigail off. She had to get back into work. She jumped in next to Rip to work on getting the next bull taken care of.

Kayce sidled up beside her. Stella locked eyes with him as he silently asked her what happened. Her eyes rolled so hard, she was surprised she didn’t tumble into another dimension.

“He was yelling at me like I was 17 again about that thing this morning with that bull.”

Kayce rolled his eyes back at her. “You were completely safe.”

“That’s what I told him! I also think it’s rude he yelled at me, but not at you. No offense.”

Kayce chuckled. “None taken.”

“Why is your dad pointing over here?”

Kayce looked puzzled in his dad’s direction. “I guess I’ll go find out.”

Stella watched from afar as John directed a tough looking cowboy to Kayce. He must have been a day worker coming to look for some work before he moved on to somewhere else. She glanced over at Rip, who had also stopped to watch. Switching back to Kayce, her eyebrows pulled together. ‘What in the world is going on?’ Stella wasn’t quite sure, but she could feel that something was shifting.

Kayce’s shoulders were tense, but he straightened his back and held himself in a facade of confidence. Once he was done talking to the day worker, he turned and saw his audience of Rip and Stella. Kayce ignored Rip and came back over to Stella.

“Who’s that?”

“He goes by Cowboy. Lookin’ for day work.” Kayce explained.

“Why’d your dad have you talk to him?”

Kayce sighed. “Your guess is as good as mine, Stell.” The dinner bell rang in the distance.

“Thanks Gator!” Stella smiled and grabbed the plate he was handing to her.

He smiled at her. “You’re welcome Miss Stella.”

She went to take a seat next to her brother. Things were quiet while everyone was stuffing their faces. If there’s one thing Mr. Dutton got right, it was the person he hired to feed his employees. Gator was a fabulous cook.

Avery looked to the new worker. Not only was she intrigued, but she wanted to break the ice. “What's your name?”

“Cowboy.” He replied simply. Stella chuckled to herself at his gruff monosyllabic answer. It seemed to be a constant quirk in every cowboy she’d ever met.

Colby cut in. “Your name's Cowboy. Shit. We're all cowboys.”

Cowboy laughed but lacked amusement. “Ha. The hell you are.” He pointed to Jimmy. “And you… you ride a horse like a teenager fucks, bouncing up and down with your eyes wide, stunned you're doing it at all.”

“Only cowboy thing I’ve seen you do is clean your plate.” Ryan said as he stood. Stella let out a sigh as her brother continued to open his stupid mouth. “Stand up and tell me I can't cowboy.”

Stella reached for Ryan’s arm. “Ryan, sit the fuck down! What’re you doin’ other than making yourself look stupid?” He pulled his arm free.

Cowboy corrected her brother. “I didn't say you can't. I said he can't.” He pointed to Colby and then Jimmy. “And he sure as hell can't. And you don't want me standing up, boy. I'll beat you like a rented mule.”

“Ryan, come on! Sit down!” Stella pleaded with her brother as she saw Rip wipe his mouth angrily and start to stand up herself.

“There's one rule on this ranch, Cowboy.” Rip came over to place himself between Ryan and Cowboy. “If you wanna fight somebody, you fight me. I guess you forgot that rule, Ryan. Go sit down.”

Ryan sat down with his tail between his legs. Stella glared at him. “Serves you right, dipshit.”

He glared back at her. “Oh get off your high horse, little miss perfect.”

“Not perfect, but also not looking for a random fight with a literal stranger you just met today. Don’t be dumb.” Stella stood. She was over her brother and didn’t feel like dealing with his 12 year old brain right now.

The men watched as she walked off. She walked past Walker and slowed her pace just a smidge to listen to his singing. She wasn’t exactly a huge fan of his, but she would give credit where it was due and he could sing one hell of a lick.

Jimmy scarfed down the rest of his food and sprinted after her. “Stella!”

She spun around to face him as she walked backwards. “What?”

“Will you hold on?” Jimmy panted, trying to keep up with her angry strides. Stella halted her reversed steps. Jimmy finally caught up. “Is everything okay?”

She pointed back to the tables. “Oh you mean about that?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I just didn’t want to bear witness to my brother getting too big for his britches anymore. Because he obviously wasn’t taking my advice.”

“The one time you actually try to stay out of trouble.”

“Hey,” she dragged out. “That’s mean. Trouble just finds me.”

“Are you going home?”

“I mean, is there another reason I should stay? I haven’t properly been home in like a week.” Stella watched him.

“I just wanna be sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine Jimmy.”

“Are you sure?” He looked around to make sure no one was nearby and softened his voice. “You left a man to hang.”

Stella crossed her arms. “That man, if I can even call him that, is threatening our home. Kayce’s home. Back in the day when we were kids, the Yellowstone and its employees were not to be fucked with. It appears that people have lost that memo over the years and they think we’ve gotten soft. They need to be reminded.”

“I mean I would’ve expected that from Kayce, but you?”

“We came up with the idea.”

“When? You didn’t talk the night before and certainly didn’t talk in the moment then.”

“Oh, but Jimmy, we did. More than enough to know what the other wanted.” She sighed heavily. “Threaten my best friend’s home, my home?” She smirked, and Jimmy got a chance to witness the offbeat look she was known for. “Rip and Lloyd are crazy and will take you out before you can think twice, don’t get me wrong. But Kayce and I are reckless apart and teamed up? Unhinged. We will put you down at the most unexpected time.” His mouth dropped open. “I’m a lot more violent when I have to be than people realize, Jimmy. I just hide it well.”

“Uh, yeah. I’m,” he couldn’t figure out how to end his sentence.

“So I’m okay. I’m gonna go home and shower and then I’ll come back to hang out or something. Sound good?”

He nodded at her dazed and watched her go off to do her thing, slightly more afraid of her now.

#yellowstone #kayce dutton #yellowstonetv #luke grimes #ian bohen #ryan #kayce dutton fan fiction #yellowstone fanfic #yellowstone fanfiction #kayce dutton fanfic

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the-traveling-poet · 5 months ago

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Hey, Lynn!

I saw ur little rant about not feeling good enough and honestly? No, just no. Don't let these thoughts get into your head. They're not right, I'm sure. If you'd like, take the opinion of another person or read what you're writing from another perspective. And don't dwell on anything too much. Whatever will be, will be. I know it's hard, but don't let these thoughts (that are so not true, I adore your writing and so do all of us as your followers. You're one of the few blogs I follow and have notifs on for, I literally wait for you to post and eat that shit up and read it a million times when you do) get to you and drag you down, and make you believe that what you're writing is not nearly good enough. Don't read too much into it, alright? That's just you overthinking, I promise. I'm sure it's more than good enough – you're more than good enough. So please, don't think too much about it, and POST your writing, whoever enjoys it will do just that. It's not your job to be perfect (I swear your writing is. And I'm not just saying that to lift your spirits, I'm not the type to) or your job to have everyone love your writing. All of your followers wouldn't be here if it weren't for your incredible writing. So thank you, for everything. And just post whatever the hell it is that you're writing. It'll be incredible, I'm sure.

I’m so sorry I didn’t see this notif sooner anon! I hadn’t checked my inbox in awhile for any asks besides the ones I saw in the notif center that were on top.

Lemme just say, reading this ask this afternoon was something I needed reminded of. As good as it is to be empathetic and selfless when the time calls for it, I can’t be a people pleaser 24/7 like I was raised to be. It so draining and makes me stress over every breath I take and I just can’t do that. I’m not gonna let someone else’s opinions rule over what I find joy in. I’ll be 22 soon and I think it’s abt time to focus on me and my passions, like writing fanfiction for all my lovelies and my own eventual novel :)

So thank you ml for such kind and grounding words, I needed that more than I’d thought. And thank you for just being here! I’m really glad you’ve enjoyed what I’ve wrote so far, it means the world to me that people enjoy my Levi fics as much as I enjoy writing them! Seriously, y’all are more supportive than my own family 90% of the time and that means more to me than I could ever fully express.

Especially with this ask anon, you’ve helped me a lot just by taking the time to write this to me which helps boost the ole self esteem. I hope that when/if you see my (late, again i’m sorry!) response you’re having a wonderful day and if you ever wanna chat my DMs are open to everyone💛

Btw I’ve screenshot this entire ask to look back at every time I sit down to write cause it means a lot to me :)

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daedriclorde · 1 year ago

Text

Loved You All Along

Yeah, so its been about 3 years since I wrote anything. I don’t even know if any of you who were interested in my fanfic are even still here. But y’all know how inspiration works, sometimes its there, and sometimes its left the building. I’ve been doing other creative things in the meantime, like art, but it’s been a minute since I had the urge to write.

Until this week.

I discovered the song “Inkpot Gods” by The Amazing Devil, and this fic just started to write itself.

This is sort of an epilogue to “A Thief in Wolf’s Clothing”. I’m not sure how “canon” it is to my own Skyrim fanfic universe, but I don’t really care. It just exists! Enjoy it or don’t!

Read it here on Ao3

Farkas pushed open the doors to Jorrvaskr. The familiar scents of smoke and mead and sweat greeted him as he entered the dimly lit hall. It was late, and only a few members of the Companions were still up. Many were out on jobs. Vilkas was away taking care of some problem in Eastmarch. Aela had left that afternoon for The Rift.

Farkas looked around at the occupants of the hall as he sat and picked up a full tankard. So many of them new and unfamiliar. Once word had spread that the Dragonborn was a Companion, they had a wave of young hopefuls at their doorstep. Most could barely hold a sword, let alone use one. Just like Kjolti.

But unlike Kjolti, the majority of the would-be whelps had no fire in them. You beat them down once, they didn’t keep fighting. They shook their head, muttered some excuse, and left.

A few didn’t, though. Some were worthy, and those joined their ranks. Farkas knew that each and every one of them had earned the title Companion. But he still felt distant from them. He didn’t know them. Everything was different now. Skjor still guided the Companions with his firm hand and solid wisdom, but much of the leadership fell to Vilkas, Aela, and himself. He didn’t have as much time to get to know the new bloods. And he was okay with that. They listened when he spoke, they cast awestruck glances at him when he walked past. Once they learned that he trained the Dragonborn, he was different to them.

That was fine too. Farkas had always been different. He knew it. Never bothered him much. As long as Vilkas and Aela were there with a friendly face and a mug of mead, there wasn’t much that could shake Farkas. Except for when Kjolti left.

It took him months to shake that gloom. It was strange, the sadness that took over him. It wasn’t sharp or quick, like when Kodlak died. That sadness was like the slice of a blade. When Kjolti left Jorrvaskr, it was quiet and smothering, the pain. It was like climbing too high up a mountainside and fighting the trolls there; there was not enough air to fill his lungs. It was like the days after being hit too hard in the head; nothing seemed to focus, and time passed in funny ways. It was like when he had come down with Bone Break Fever; and all he wanted to do was sleep, and no matter how much he slept he was still tired.

Those things faded with time. He still missed her, they all did. But slowly, eventually, breathing was easier, and the days were less fuzzy, and he found energy to do what needed to be done.

Farkas set down the now empty tankard. He was tired, and was ready for sleep. He had cleansed himself of his beast blood months ago, and he never looked back from that choice. Being free of the wolf was like waking up from a daze he didn’t know he was in. He and Vilkas had gone together. They made the choice together that the wolf blood was not how they wanted to live, and eventually die. Aela had kept hers, and that was fine for everyone. That was what the Companions were about. Everyone gets to make the right choice for themselves.

He lifted his bulk off the bench. A few people gave him nods of acknowledgement as he dismissed himself to the sleeping quarters below. He descended the steps, his footfalls heavy with his exhaustion.

He walked past the room that had once been Kjolti’s. Watching someone else take Kjolti’s room had been one of the hardest steps. He held no grudge with the new Companion that filled it; Hromir was a fine fighter. But seeing someone else there had been hard.

Farkas rounded the corner to the hall that held his room. He wearily pushed open the doors to his room. He turned to light the lantern on the table, shutting the doors behind him as he did. Once he turned around again, his heart jumped and he reached for his weapon.

There was a figure sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed. It wore black, serious looking armor. They wore no helm, and as the face turned toward him, Farkas’s heart stopped.

Two beautiful silver moons gazed up at him.

“Hey, Farkas,” Kjolti said quietly.

Farkas fell to his knees and swept her up in an embrace. Their metal armor clinked and scraped, and Kjolti made a soft surprised sound as he wrapped himself around her, but she fell into the hug, resting her head on his shoulder.

They sat like that for a long moment, tangled together on the floor, probably looking for all the world like a pile of scrap metal. Farkas gripped her like she would slip out of his arms if he didn’t hold tight enough; he knew she could. He pressed his head against hers, dug his fingers into her hair. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to.

For several moments they remained like this, before eventually pulling away to look at one another. There was trepidation and uncertainty in Kjolti’s eyes, but also softness, and her slight smile was friendly. Farkas’s eyes held concern and wonder.

He cupped her face with his hands. “You’re still alive,” he whispered. “You’re here.”

She lifted a hand and stroked his cheek. “I’m alive, and I’m here.” She grinned as she ran her fingers over the coarse hair on his cheek. “You have a beard now.”

Farkas grinned boyishly. “Yeah,” he said. They both chuckled softly before their faces grew more serious again. “I’m not a werewolf anymore.”

Kjolti cocked her head. “Truly? I’m…surprised. Impressed.”

Farkas nodded. “Me and Vilkas, we both did it. Decided we didn’t want it anymore. But Aela still is. She likes it that way.”

Kjolti still stroked his cheek. “How do you feel? Any regrets?”

“No. It is better this way. I prefer my head clear and my instincts my own. The Inner Circle does not require the wolf blood any longer. Some still choose it, and Aela has been a forebear for two more members since you left, but it is their choice.”

Kjolti smiled and leaned into his touch. “Well, I’m proud of you. It is a hard thing, I know, and you were with your wolf spirit much longer than I was.”

Farkas felt himself grow warm and tingly. His heart rate had not slowed down since discovering Kjolti in his room. “You’re here,” he breathed again, his eyes shining in the dim light.

This time Kjolti’s face faltered slightly. “I’m here. For now.”

Farkas’s face fell. “When are you leaving? Why are you here?”

Kjolti looked down. “Just for tonight. I have to go in the morning.”

“Where are you going?”

Kjolti’s face broke and trembled. “I—I,” She began to tear.

Farkas pulled her in again. “Shh. Shh, it’s okay.”

Kjolti fell upon him, this time holding him tighter than before.

Farkas stroked her hair. “Let us be more comfortable. May I help you with your armor?”

Kjolti pulled away and looked like she was about to refuse, but then quietly said, “Okay.”

Farkas helped her to her feet and began to unclasp her armor. “By the Gods,” he whispered. “Where did you get this armor?” It was black as night, and sinister in its design. “Is this ebony?” It didn’t look like ebony.

Kjolti shook her head. “No, its—actually, the less you know about this armor, the better, probably.”

“I will take your word for it.” Piece by piece, Farkas removed the heavy plate from Kjolti’s body and gently set it aside, admiring it all the while.

Kjolti removed the rest herself. She was wearing thin deerskin leggings and a long sleeve cotton shirt beneath, the front laces open and loose. She turned to him. “May I?”

Farkas was certain his face was red. To have Kjolti in his rooms, having helped her out of her armor, and her offering to help him out of his, was a lot for him to take in. But he didn’t care if the emotion showed on his face. She was there with him, and that’s all he cared about. He nodded.

Kjolti began to deftly undo the fastenings on the wolf armor Farkas wore. He knew she was familiar with it, knew its workings. He knew she would care for the armor properly.

Soon, Farkas stood in his quilted breeches and plan homespun tunic. Kjolti stood behind him, having undone and set aside the last pieces of his armor. She reached up and traced the line of a scar on the back of his neck. He shivered at her touch. “Is this new?” She asked.

Farkas nodded, turned to her. “Sabre cat,” he confirmed. He noticed the skin on her forearm was pink and shiny and puckered. He gently took her arm and inspected it. She flinched slightly. “What happened?”

“Nothing. It’s just a burn.”

“Let me see.” Kjolti looked at him, unsure for a moment, then pulled her shirt off. She had a form fitting leather vest protecting her modesty, that ended just below her bust. Farkas was sure his ears were bright red. He didn’t care.

The burn went up her arm to her shoulder, and covered much of her side as well.

“How did this happen? How did you get burned like this?”

“How do you think?” She looked at him sharply.

It’s from a dragon, he realized. “Oh.” He pulled his own shirt off. “This is new too,” he said, pointing at a long series of scars stretching across his bicep. “This is from a troll.”

Kjolti’s brow furrowed as she inspected it. “How did it get through your armor?”

“I wasn’t wearing any. It attacked while I was sleeping.”

Kjolti nodded with understanding. The light caught a mark on her midsection. Farkas reached out and gently stroked it, his hand trembling. “What is this from?” The top of the scar was just under the leather vest covering Kjolti’s chest, and stretched diagonally across her body to her hip.

Kjolti turned away. “That’s very old.”

“When did it happen? What is this from?”

“Before I became a Companion.” Farkas was once again reminded that Kjolti had been a thief before joining the Companions, back when she was called Aerisif. It was hard to picture her as anything other than the fierce fighter who came into her own in Jorrvaskr.

“What happened?” Farkas sounded grave.

“Nothing. It’s fine.”

Farkas caught her face and turned it to his. His eyes were full of worry.

Kjolti tried to smile, to play it off and break the tension. “Someone tried to kill me a long time ago. They almost did, but someone else saved my life, with a poisoned arrow, of all things. Not the only time I’ve nearly died.” She began to get shifty.

Farkas clasped her hands and pulled her to sit next to him on his bed. “Why did you come?”

Kjolti wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I wanted to—I wanted to see you again. Before I go.”

“Where are you going? I will come with you.”

“You can’t come with me, Farkas.”

“I would follow you to the ends of the world, Kjolti. There is nowhere I wouldn’t follow you.”

She looked at him now, tears pooling in her eyes. “You can’t come with me, Farkas. Not where I’m going.”

“Kjolti,” Farkas’s voice dripped with worry. “Where are you going?” He gripped her hands tighter.

She sniffed. “To Sovngarde.”

Farkas’s heart sank. “What?” He said, alarmed and panicked. “No, no. You can’t die.”

Kjolti shook her head. “That’s not how I’m getting there. There’s a portal. A secret door, that Alduin has been using. Odahviing is going to fly me there.”

“Who?”

“The dragon we caught up in Dragonsreach.”

Farkas nodded thoughtfully. “I should have known that you would have been involved with that.” He contemplated a moment. “The dragon will just have to fly us both.”

“No, Farkas, you can’t come.”

“A dragon should easily be able to carry both of us.”

“The portal, Farkas. Only the dead or one with a dragon’s spirit can enter. If you tried, you wouldn’t make it. You can’t come.” She was crying now.

Farkas gently wiped away her tears. “But you’ll come back?”

Kjolti’s chest heaved for a moment as she tried to resist her grief, but she was overcome and fell into Farkas once more, sobbing. He held her tenderly as she cried. He had never seen Kjolti this vulnerable before, and she had been going through a lot of grief when she was with the Companions. It frightened him to see her this distraught. Farkas wanted nothing more than to hold her forever, to keep her safe in his arms. He became intensely aware that neither of them were wearing a shirt, and the intimacy of their skin pressed against one another was consuming.

“I don’t know, Farkas.” She whispered. “I don’t know if I’ll make it back.” She sniffed. Then, so so quietly, she breathed: “I’m scared.”

Farkas completely scooped her up. They had never been so physically close, ever. He had held her in his arms before, yes, but usually with armor on, or in different circumstances than this, in his bed, barely dressed. He held her completely in his arms, and she wrapped her arms around him, shaking. Farkas breathed in the scent of her hair, felt her soft skin beneath his calloused hands.

He held her there for a long time, waiting for her breathing to calm and the sobs to subside. He stroked her hair all the while, pressed his head against hers. Farkas drank in the minutes, becoming intoxicated with the intimacy. This was everything he had wanted. To hold Kjolti, to be her comfort when she needed it. His heart soared and fell in equal measures, to have this desire fulfilled but to know it wouldn’t last.

He held her anyway.

Soon Kjolti lifted her head from Farkas’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes. He gently wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered. “I’m so sorry to just show up like this and be such a miserable mess. I don’t mean to upend your life. I should go.” She made no motion to leave.

“Don’t go,” Farkas pleaded. “Stay with me. Please. Stay with me tonight.”

Kjolti nodded. “Okay.” She sniffed. “Thank you, Farkas.”

“Why did you come here? To me?”

Kjolti hesitated a moment before meeting his gaze. “Because,” she began. “Because if I don’t make it back, if this is my last night alive—” she took a steadying breath. “I wanted it to be with you. It’s selfish, I know. But I was scared, and nobody else cares that I’m terrified, they all just care about what I have to do, and I understand—that’s all that matters to them, for me to save the world. I know I have to. It might kill me. I’ll do it anyway. But I know that you,” she paused. “You cared about me before you knew I was the Dragonborn. And I knew you would care that I’m scared. And I—I just wanted that comfort before I go. I wanted to be with someone who saw me, not the legend.”

Farkas brushed her hair out of her face, taking in her words. “And you will not let me go with you?”

“I cannot, Farkas. Even if I could, I wouldn’t ask it of you. No.”

He nodded. “Then let me be the comfort you seek.” He cupped her head in her hand and brought her face to his, drawing her in for a kiss.

To his surprise, Kjolti reciprocated the intent. She did not pull away, but rather, pushed in closer. When he broke their kiss for a moment, giving her the chance to stop if she wanted, she simply waited for him to come back, and pulled him to her when he did.

A fire awoke in Farkas. His whole body was awake with sparks. He thought his heart would burst from his chest. Each time their lips met, again and again, his head spun and his heart raced. Kjolti burrowed her hands deep in Farkas’s hair, and pressed her body against his.

They crashed into the soft furs of his bed together, tangled in one another. Hands entwined in each other’s hair, bare skin pressed close, they drank in one another’s breath like it was their last.

Kjolti knew it might be.

***

Farkas softly combed Kjolti’s hair with his fingers. Such a clumsy motion, with sausage-like fingers better suited to swinging steel than brushing hair, but he moved as gently as he could. His thick arms were wrapped around Kjolti, who was likewise wrapped around him, her head nestled against his chest. He watched her eyes grow heavy with sleep. His own eyes struggled to stay open.

“Rest now,” he whispered. “You are safe with me.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

***

Kjolti slept like she hadn’t in years. The deep slumber that took her was warm and soft, and dreamless.

But not very long. She woke a few hours later, knowing she had to be back in Dragonsreach by dawn. And she really didn’t want to deal with the new Companions gaping and clamoring.

Farkas slept soundly next to her. Seeing him in such restful sleep gladdened Kjolti; she knew the restlessness that came with the beast blood, and was relieved that Farkas was free of it. She gently stroked the hair out of his face. In another life, Farkas, we could have been. I would have been happy to be Kjolti of the Companions with you.

Slowly, so carefully, Kjolti untangled herself from Farkas and the furs on his bed. She rose and dressed. She found a scrap of paper on Farkas’s desk, and wrote a few words on it. Looking around, Kjolti spotted what she was looking for. An ornately engraved tankard sat on a shelf. She retrieved it, and found the scrap of paper she had left within last time. It was unfolded, and had clearly been held and touched many times. She smiled sadly.

Kjolti placed the new piece of parchment in the tankard, and left it on his desk. Then she leaned back in to where Farkas was sleeping, and delicately kissed him on the forehead. He stirred slightly, but did not wake.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry.”

She picked up her armor, and silently left.

***

Farkas knew she was gone even before he opened his eyes. He felt it, her absence.

He eventually blinked his eyes open. Farkas knew why she didn’t say goodbye, he understood, but it grieved him anyway. His eyes landed on the tankard that he had stolen all those years ago. It wasn’t where he left it.

Reaching over, he grabbed the mug as his heart pounded with hope.

Inside was a scrap of parchment that read:

If I don’t make it back from where I’ve gone, just know I’ve loved you, loved you as I could in my broken way, loved you all along.

----

That‘s all! There’s another version of this that gets *adult* if you know what I mean...should I show you guys?

#Skyrim fanfic #KMDA #F!dragonborn x Farkas #OC: aerisif/kjolti #TES V SKYRIM

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nizar-dreams · 3 months ago

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UPDATE: If Only You Believe in Miracles So Would I

Y’all…

I love having a little writing bug just absolutely devour my writers block. And devour the temptation of other WIPs I’ve been creating for myself 😂

Chapter 4 is finished and eventually proof read a few times. Will post it on Halloween because, like Voldemort, I’m choosing important dates to update 😂 also the ao3 curse is… well. I worry sometimes 😭

Please ao3 gods, spare me! I just got settled into a job that gives me this time to write my little heart out! What do I have to do?? Write spicy content??? I can probs do that… maybe not at work but I could do that! 😭

Other news:

Have to reorganize my story a bit as some scenes got pushed around or scraped entirely. Thankfully I’ve got most of it prewritten cause this story has been in the works for some time, but due to this mass revision that slammed me in the 3rd chapter and now I have to make sure everything else follows with my previous self-made canon and has the necessary details.

I strive for consistency, since perfection is unattainable. Consistency, adequate grammar… basics of any decent story worth reading

So far chapter 5 is looking almost done, and mostly caught up with pre-canon events. Might have that one out by either the last traditional day of Día de Muertos, or by Thanksgiving to those who celebrate. No guaranteed but yeah. Just needs a little polish, is all 😌

Pray for me I guess as I try and get some more stuff cleaned up and ready for yall to enjoy. I’m glad this little bug has been active today, hope that means I can finally get past my last prewritten chapter lmaoo.

Have a good day/week/month yall, stay safe, praying for folks caught in Hurricane Helene (my condolences 💐), hope yall get the help and assistance you need. Hopefully see everyone soon!

Story link:

If Only You Believe in Miracles So Would I

#ao3 writer #harry potter fanfic #fanfic #fanfic got out of hand #obsessed with my story #how big of a story is too big?#ioybimswi #canon can fight me #writers #writers block

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sydnikov · 3 years ago

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Sunkissed (pt. 2)

Link to Part 1, Link to Part 3

Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov/female!Reader

Word Count: 6.2k

Summary: It turns out that avoiding your feelings was hopeless when it came to Andrei. Full of guilt and sadness from the loss of one of your greatest friends, you flee from the confines of Raleigh to the coast of North Carolina, hoping to outrun your emotions instead of confronting them. It only works for so long, for suddenly the one you had tried avoiding the most is quite literally thrust back into your life when you least expect it.

Warnings: Cursing, angst, a bit of fluff, another cliffhanger

A/N: So remember when I said this would be the last part to this series? I lied. I know I even had a vote and all, but being on a break has really brought things into perspective and despite what everyone else wants, I know what I want and that’s to post a part 2 that isn’t an end to the series yet. I still love y’all though, so I hope you guys enjoy! 😌 Reblogs and commentary is very much appreciated <3

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. This is not meant to be hate towards Andrei and Julia who are a very happy couple together, which therefore means I'm happy for them as well. This is merely a work of entertainment that in no way, shape, or form represents real life.

Translations:

¹Не могу жить без тебя - I can’t live without you

²rapea - frisky

³rakkaus - love

⁴я сильно скучал по тебе - I missed you so much

The road to recovery was brutal. It wasn’t some colorful arc of growth that you see in those cheesy movies about break-ups, because the real world didn’t let you come to terms with the way everything had fallen apart in a mere day, and it especially didn’t make the job of trying to pick up the pieces of your broken heart any easier.

Anyone who's ever said otherwise is lying.

Your hangover that morning after was a bitch. And it became even more of a bitch when it all came rushing back to you why you let yourself get so drunk in the first place.

"What if I don't want to be just your best friend?"

"You're joking…"

"You think I'd lie…"

"You've lied about drinking, so…"

"Get out. Now."

"Please let me try and fix this…"

It was a good thing it was the weekend. Two days of blissful silence from the outside world until you had to face the reality that you had just caused the very being of your world to crash and burn.

With your heart freshly wounded and nowhere near close to pulling itself back together, you didn't know how you were going to handle walking through the hallways of PNC decorated with Andrei's smiling face and knowing that you alone were the reason you’d lost him.

You didn't really know what to feel after all of that, if you were being honest. You supposed you should have felt livid, upset, hell, even guilty about the words your drunken self spit at him.

Though he still definitely returned the favor. Sober, too.

All you felt was numb, though. You knew it was just your brain's way of compensating for the overwhelming emotion and trying to give yourself time to recover, but you knew hiding from your feelings was going to just come and bite you, and whoever tries to let themselves in, in the ass.

After all, it was never a good idea to walk in broken glass.

The annoyingly cheerful ringtone of your phone soon snapped you out of your thoughts, and when you confusedly checked the ID and found it to be Sebastian you eventually decided to answer, if not with a bit of caution.

Who the hell knows who Andrei told about your fight. You wouldn't be surprised if the entire PNC staff, including the team, knew about it.

Sebastian all but shouted your name in relief once he heard you pick up, and you couldn't help but sigh in relief at the familiarity you so desperately needed.

"Sepe?" You laughed, confusion momentarily forgotten as his relieved laugh made a small smile pop up on your face. "What's going on?"

"Svech told us what happened-"

Oh.

"-and before you freak out, by us I mean me, Martin, Turbo, and also Marty by accident because he can't not eavesdrop to save his life."

"That… Really isn't any better," You winced with a breathless laugh, exhaustedly running a hand down your face.

"I'd say it's better than the whole team knowing. Or Julia herself?"

Now that caught you off-guard.

"Julia doesn't know?" You immediately straightened up, baffled at the news. If anything, you thought his fiancé would have been the first person he told, not his teammates.

"He said he, and I quote, 'didn't want to worry her', which is complete shit in my opinion, but…"

You tried not to think into why your fight would worry her to the point that Andrei just decided not to tell her at all.

"Well, this is awkward…" You mumbled, slowly crawling out of your bed to make your way to the kitchen.

To be fair, any situation where your friend knows you shouted 'I love you' to their other friend would be awkward.

Especially if said-friend is engaged.

"Just a little bit," Sebastian admitted over the phone. "But... Are you okay?"

No. No, you weren’t, but you weren’t about to let Sebastian in on that.

“I… Yeah, I’m okay. Or, I will be, at least.”

“Mhm,” Sebastian wasn’t buying your excuse, that much you could tell, but luckily he decided to leave it be. “Whatever you say…” He sounded like he was about to say something else, but a muffled voice on the other side of the line seemed to snatch his attention away.

“Look, I have to go now, but… I’m here, in case you need me.”

You smiled.

“Thanks, Sepe.”

Sebastian hung up after that, and you were left to your own devices for the rest of the day, thankfully. Though you didn’t do much except wallar in self-pity, muting the notifications of your texts and social media.

Not that it did much good, considering Andrei’s contact name still managed to flash on your screen several times throughout the day. It was only several hours later that he seemed to get the hint that you weren’t going to answer, and at long last you were finally able to scroll through your emails without having to quickly decline an incoming call.

Sunday went much the same, too, except a lot more silent. You exchanged a few texts with Sebastian, a few with your mom and gave her a basic rundown of what went down with Andrei along with the promise to meet up sometime for lunch as soon as you could come down to her house.

Which, fortunately, was soon.

Because, unfortunately, you living in Raleigh was just no longer an option. You couldn’t do it. You had money saved up just in case a situation like this one arrived, ready to move at a moment's notice. Only you never expected it to be under these types of circumstances.

And god did you try to make it work, you tried to avoid what you thought were the eyes of your coworkers burning holes into the side of your face at your sudden withdrawal and quietness. Despite Andrei having revealed it to absolutely no one about your little spat, the paranoia was getting so bad that you had started to avoid even going out after games with the guys you once considered yourself to be oh-so-close to.

Stuck in your own world of distrust and worry, you never noticed Andrei’s lingering eyes on the rare occasion he’d see you outside of your office, or how his face would fall when Sebastian would look up from his phone with a solemn shake of his head when informing them on a night out that you would not be joining them.

How he was slowly starting to regret his outburst, when instead of looking into Julia’s sparkling blue eyes and feeling love, he’d see the unique color of your own instead and how there had never been a day since he joined the team where you weren't there for him.

He might have been hurting - he lost his best friend too - but he had Julia and his teammates to fall back on. In a sense, you had no one. Or at least that was what you kept telling yourself.

And you couldn’t take it anymore. The constant avoidance and vigilance, the late hours spent at work and the little amount of sleep you were getting… You couldn’t do it, so when you turned in your resignation to your boss with shaky hands it felt like more of a relief than it should have been when she smiled warmly at you and wished you luck, no questions asked.

It was as you packed up the few belongings you had in your office did you suddenly realize that leaving Raleigh maybe wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. You felt like you had some clarity for the first time in months since the argument, because now that you were free from the trap you'd come to refer to as your job, you remembered that you had your mom, you had Sebastian… You’d been living under the pretense that Andrei was everything good about Raleigh for so long that you failed to recognize everything else that had been right in front of you.

Though instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you tried to recognize that this was a good thing. Because you didn’t need Andrei. You didn’t need the whispers from the interns talking about how happy Julia was with Andrei, you didn’t need the pitying looks from Martin or Sebastian, and you didn’t even need Andrei himself.

Not while you were still in love with him. And especially not while he was engaged.

If only your racing heart understood that as a deep Russian voice calling your name from far down the hallway stole your attention. You almost wanted to pretend that you hadn’t heard him because the elevator was right there, but the left winger knew you better than that and made sure to catch up to you in time.

A broken whisper of your name left his lips once he finally reached you, spotting the lone cardboard box of belongings from your office and the lack of papers he was so used to seeing you carrying to and fro the arena.

“Yes?” You broke the tense silence first, suddenly fascinated with the decorated wall behind him. Did they get a new paint job recently?

“What… What are you doing?” He looked so lost, so helpless, and you would have let yourself fall into his arms if you weren’t so guarded, just so heartbroken from that fateful Friday night that left your friendship in tatters.

You swallowed dryly, torn on what to say or do. Because how do you tell someone that they’re the reason you’re leaving your home? “Leaving. To my car. I’m not working here anymore.”

Andrei blinked once, twice, a good few times before he brought a hand up to run down his face. “You’re leaving?” he whispered so quietly it had your heart screaming out through the walls you had it forced behind. “I’m sorry,” he added quickly, trying to plead with his eyes for you to just look up and acknowledge him. “I didn’t mean-”

He didn’t realize how much he’d miss you until you were gone.

“Andrei, please,” You whispered, lips wobbling with the strength it took to keep your sobs at bay. This was the exact reason why you wanted to avoid seeing your former best friend before you left.

And suddenly he was panicking all over again, like the night he blew up on you, only now he realized you were really going to be gone, and it was going to be all his fault.

He ruined you. And there was no going back.

“¹Не могу жить без тебя,” Was all the hockey player managed to choke out, only his words did nothing but spur you in your movement to get the hell out of there, and he was helpless to do anything but watch you wipe the tears running down your cheeks as you backed away from him. “Is there anything I can do? To make it better?”

To make you stay? Was the unspoken question he wanted to ask, but you weren’t there to listen to his bribes. He didn’t feel the same. Which was okay. You understood. You just didn’t get why he wasn’t letting you go, why he had to make your leave as painful as possible.

“You can step out of the way so I can get to my car,” You eventually whispered out, eyes watery and bloodshot but never daring to meet his own. Without giving him a chance to respond, you took in your former place of work once more, took in your former best friend’s teary eyes as you swept past him for the last time.

And as you made your way down the cemented steps, the sun shining down upon you and filling you with its warmth, you felt a new sense of peace.

You weren’t okay. You weren’t happy. But driving away from the PNC Arena, away from Raleigh, away from Andrei, you figured that maybe one day you would be.

And when you finally moved out to the Outer Banks you just couldn’t help but compare your new home to your former one. But if you had to tell yourself that there were still similarities between the two places you lived in, you figured you could allow it just to make adjusting a little bit easier.

And you still weren't okay. You knew that it would be a while before you would forget your hockey family, Andrei, your old friends, PNC Arena, Andrei and the dark richness of his chocolate brown eyes that set your body ablaze.

But, over time, it became easier.

The first few weeks, Andrei was all you could think about. With vague texts to Sebastian asking how the team was doing - he understood you probably better than Andrei ever had - he thankfully indulged you with no questions asked, informing you how they were adjusting to the change slowly but surely, but it was hard. And it was hard for Andrei, too, who seemed to have lost his lively spark that had attracted you to him in the first place.

You told yourself you didn't care. But you did. At least for a while. But then those thoughts first thing in the morning wondering how Andrei was doing started coming less and less, perhaps instead popping into your mind while you were at your new job instead.

Andrei called you his little sun, and it was only months later did you realize you had taken that title a bit too literally.

During all this time you had forgotten how the sun had never actually revolved around the earth, but rather the earth revolved around the sun instead. And finally, finally, you were learning how to become your own sun, nobody else's.

The months passed by quickly, March to April and then April to August, and then next thing you knew you had been living peacefully at the beach for almost a year. You kept in contact with the boys - most of them - and occasionally called them, and lucky for you they mentioned nothing of Andrei's state there without you.

As if your leave would have affected him at all. He made it clear he didn't care.

Though strangely enough, you heard nothing of Andrei and Julia finally tying the knot. You would have asked, but opening that can of worms was something you didn't particularly want to go through again.

Which was why you were so nervous when you finally agreed to let Sebastian and a few of the others finally come down to the Outer Banks for the last week of their off-season to visit.

At least you'd be able to safely avoid Andrei when finally meeting up with the guys, because according to Sebastian, Andrei and Julia were still together. Which meant he'd be going on trips with her instead.

Until you got the call.

"I'm sorry, what?"

A stressed sigh came from the other end of the line, and you held your breath waiting for Sebastian to confirm what you already knew to be true.

"They called it off, just now. Or a bit ago. I don't know." A brief pause of tense silence, and then he spoke again. "It's all over the news, anyways, haven't you seen it yet?"

You cast a quick glance towards the broken wifi box in the corner of the room, thanks to your boss's failure to ever pay the bills on time, your phone was relying on its data to keep the call running. "Clearly not," you muttered, running an anxious hand through your hair. "Look, Sepe, you know I love you-"

"Ooh, ²rapea-"

"But why are you telling me this?"

"Because I figured you'd probably want to know."

"No, no, that isn't it." You let out a nervous breath. "I don't… I'm not in contact with him. Whatever he does with Julia is none of my business. I don't care."

"You know that isn't true-" He immediately rebutted, and you could just imagine the indignant look on his face even on the other side of the phone.

"He doesn't love me back, Sebastian!"

Silence. You pressed a hand to your chest, willing the anger inside of you to just wither away, knowing it wasn't right to direct all of your pent-up emotions onto your friend.

Sepe said your name quietly, and you responded with such. "He's coming with us, ³rakkaus. You're going to see him."

...and you caved. You really shouldn't have, should have just told Sebastian that you had already made the rooms for everyone else and had no space left, but you both knew that was a lie.

You always had a place for Andrei. Even if you were absolutely furious at him.

But you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. Your hands may have shaken as your mom helped you get your new place ready for the guys, graciously providing you with such advice only a mother would have, but you'd still missed it. Not necessarily the misery, but… You missed Raleigh and the memories that came with it.

You missed going out to bars with the guys after a win, you missed working late nights at PNC with your coworkers, and you missed game nights at Warren's where you'd be one of the first to lose until somebody took pity on you and essentially took over your game, but you never minded.

And you missed Andrei. God, you missed him so much. You missed his smile, his dark brown eyes that seemed to sparkle every time the light hit them just right, and you missed his hugs even if most of the hugging was going to Julia instead.

You felt bad at the way your heart skipped a beat when Sebastian delivered the news, but then again, you really didn’t.

The rest of the day passed slowly, the night following in similar fashion, leaving you staring up at your ceiling into the early hours of the morning, knowing that as you finally fell asleep you’d be waking up to a world you’d been desperately trying to avoid for almost a year.

That morning you rose along with the sun, trudging into the kitchen to make your coffee in front of the large window that overlooked the beachfront. One of your good friends at work was taking leave for vacation and offered you a stay in their parents’ beach house up in Corolla, knowing of your dilemna in which you had been trying to figure out how the fuck you were supposed to store four grown men into your tiny apartment.

Having settled in just a few nights before, you couldn't help but send a quick text to said-friend with a picture of the view and, for the hundredth time, thank them profusely for letting you stay. It was absolutely huge, and when you jokingly had asked if their parents were in the mafia for the unnecessary amount of money it would have taken to afford such a place, your friend had just smirked as if they knew something you didn’t.

“You really don’t want to know.”

“You’re probably right.”

When the coffee machine sputtered and choked out the last of the addicting liquid that you had grudgingly taken a liking to, you remembered to keep it running with a bag of coffee beans next to it for the tired group of men that were bound to be arriving later that day.

Well, mainly for the two Finns who would still drink coffee after sleeping for twelve hours if they wanted to. Martin also couldn't live without it, but Andrei had never been much of a coffee person last you saw him.

And, fuck, there was that familiar pang in your heart again.

You roughly swallowed the bitter liquid in your mug, turning away with a wince from the window when all it did was reflect the nervousness and anxiousness present all over your face.

You mindlessly went through the motions of getting ready for the day, your teeth finding a permanent place on your bottom lip to chew away in anxiety as you let your thoughts run freely.

When would they be arriving? You checked the clock. You still had a few hours of peace.

Was everything ready? You walked through all of the guest rooms again, and, unsurprisingly, found everything perfectly in place. Similarly, you found the kitchen to be well-stocked, leaving you without an excuse to head to the market.

It was useless questions like these that kept your mind company as the day passed agonizingly slow, the sun eventually sinking below the horizon until the dreaded time came where the sound of loud voices accompanied by several different knocks broke the fragile silence of the house.

"Fuck, okay," you whispered to yourself, standing frozen in place for merely a moment before rushing to the front door. You got this.

You opened the door, revealing Sebastian and Martin first with Teuvo just beginning to make his way up the porch. You tried to hide the way you immediately began to seek out Andrei first.

At the sight of your face, Sebastian was the first one to release an excited shout of your name before he practically swallowed you in his arms, the grin on his face so infectious that you couldn't help but return it. Martin was the next one to smush you into his chest with a suffocating hug, and Teuvo, as reserved as he was, merely gave you a warm smile before he immediately ran for the coffee with a hasty greeting thrown your way.

You wondered if you should have told him it was cold.

"I missed you guys so much," you breathed out with a laugh that you didn't expect to come out as easy as it did, picking up a bag that one of them had dropped on the porch to carry inside.

"Who wouldn't miss us?" Teuvo soon called out, a lazy grin on his face as he came out of the house with a fresh mug of coffee in his hands.

You rolled your eyes, having missed the playful banter between them all.

Sebastian threw an arm around your shoulders, sending a mischievous smile his best friend's way. "Don't mind him, he's got a girlfriend now and suddenly he's the most confident guy in the world."

"Were you not the same way when you met Rosa?" Teuvo retorted immediately, raising his eyebrows as he took a slow sip of his coffee.

"No, I was much better."

"The shirtless selfies you sent me that day say different."

Chaos ensued, and Sebastian and Teuvo chased after each other into the house as they shouted in incoherent Finnish that had you giggling with Martin until their voices faded into the background.

As you and your favorite Czech caught up, you could only pretend to be admiring the scenery bathed in moonlight for so long before attempting to speak the question that had been on the tip of your tongue the moment they had all arrived.

Martin, conveniently, just finished gathering all of his stuff before he patted your shoulder with a mischievous smile before slowly backing away to the door.

"He's in the car, getting the rest of his stuff."

And sure enough, you could see the faint silhouette of his shadow behind the trunk, looking to be prolonging stepping away from the car for as long as possible. Though you understood the feeling, you couldn't help the sharp pang in your chest at the thought that he was dreading to see you again.

Taking a deep breath and gathering whatever semblance of courage you had left, you cast a wary glance back towards Martin and watched as he gave you a small smile before disappearing into the house.

You swallowed nervously. Walking down from the porch ever so slowly, you approached their car warily until Andrei finally looked up at the sound of your footsteps.

You hadn't been sure what you were expecting, but the brightness of his face sculpted out by moonlight and the healthy glow of his eyes definitely wasn't it. You stood there, frozen, completely and utterly enraptured by how good he looked. There was something older about him as you took him in the same way he was doing to you, a certain caution and hesitance making up the slight lines around his face.

You weren't sure if you expected him to smile, but then again, he was probably expecting you to yell at him or curse out his very existence. You didn't really blame him, because for the longest time you probably would have done just that, but now?

Well… You just missed your best friend. You were finally tired of hurting, of trying to hold a grudge against a guy who just happened to be in love with someone else. It happens all the time, right? Your feelings be damned.

It didn't matter what you thought anymore.

Andrei took a deep breath the moment he saw you approaching from the corner of his eye, a nervousness bubbling up in his gut at the fact that he was about to have a conversation with you for the first time in almost a year; for a moment, he wondered if he should have even bothered stalling to collect his luggage since it looked like you were determined to greet him anyway. He wouldn't exactly lie and say that he wasn't excited to see you, but he couldn't help but feel guilty about that fact since he had quite literally just broken up with Julia, his ex-fiancé, only days before.

Though that didn’t stop him from practically devouring your body with his eyes, taking in the healthy glow to your skin and the natural blush on your cheeks that could have only come from days spent in the sun. You looked happy, and Andrei wasn't sure if it was such a good idea for him to have come here after all.

It looked like you had moved on though, that's what matters. Right?

"Hey Andrei," You greeted quietly, squinting your eyes against the darkness that shielded you from prying eyes to get a better look at him, regarding him cautiously.

It took a moment for him to process the words that left your mouth, and Andrei didn't even think twice before he let himself succumb to the emotion of having missed you for so long, and it would have taken the power of a thousand suns to stop him from hugging you almost suffocatingly close, never letting you go again, ever, bringing you close to his chest and sinking his head into the crook of your neck with a shaky sigh.

You didn't even fight it. You didn't want to. Your breath was labored and weak as the man you loved brought you in without hesitation and you reveled in his desperate embrace, you threw your arms around his neck and burrowed your head into the comforting warmth of his chest, ignoring the voices screaming inside your head that this was wrong.

And yet it felt so right. Like a piece of your soul had finally been found, latching onto that void in your heart that had felt overwhelmingly empty since you’d left.

But it was okay because Andrei was back and he was right here and you were drowning in his arms, the small amount of tears trickling down your cheeks irrelevant as he murmured unintelligible Russian into your neck, because he was here again and he wasn't letting you go again anytime soon.

"⁴я сильно скучал по тебе," He muttered into your neck, voice quiet and vulnerable and full of emotion and one that had you pulling back almost immediately.

Fuck. Your heart couldn't take this.

You attempted a smile, a weak one but nonetheless it seemed to placate your emotional Russian. It was as if the moment he spoke the spell of reunion was broken, leaving you wondering how the fuck you were supposed to fall back into the rhythm of being friends again.

Especially since he knew how you felt.

And most of all, you were still hurt. No amount of time spent distracting yourself at the beach would ever make you forget the heartbreak that Andrei had put you through, intentionally or unintentionally.

Seeing him again sparked those same feelings you fought so hard to smother, foolishly thinking that if you never saw him again then they would just… Go away.

Seeing him standing right in front of you with a sheen over his eyes as he held you close catapulted you back into the earlier times of your friendship, when physical affection was your very own language and innocent flirting - at least on your part - made up almost the entirety of your conversations.

You were so, so fucked.

"I missed you too," You responded in soft Russian, and the brilliant smile that spread across his face at your remembrance of the language almost made you forget the pain he put you through, because this was Andrei and no matter how much he might have changed over your time away, he was still just your same old best friend.

Who you also happened to be in love with, but details, details…

The feelings of nostalgia soon became too much as the two of you stayed with your arms wrapped around the other, taking the other in until you finally managed to pull yourself away.

You smiled weakly, now avoiding his eyes. "They're probably waiting for us inside." You pretended not to notice the way his expression fell at your words.

Walking up the stairs and opening the door to the large beach house, you went ahead of Andrei and led him into the spacious living room and was greeted with the sight of Teuvo fiddling with the TV remote, Sebastian bundled up in so many blankets that he almost resembled a living burrito with a mug of coffee, and Martin unpacking the food they brought in the kitchen.

Ignoring the curious looks all three boys were sending you, you merely rolled your eyes before walking through the open doorway that led into the kitchen and began helping Martin sort through all of the food they - unnecessarily - brought.

"You guys know you didn't have to bring so much, right?" You huffed, trying to break through the tension that had come at the entrance of you and Andrei.

Sebastian, who had a knack at always picking up on the mood, laughed all the way from the living room. "We know you better than that. I can't even cook and my apartment has more food than you."

And as simple and unimportant the statement was, the fact that they had even remembered such small things about you was enough to bring tears to your eyes. Again.

You had missed them so, so much.

"Pizza boxes and soda cans don't count as real food, Fishy." Andrei chimed in with a grin, and Martin merely shook his head in amusement before putting away the last of the bags.

Ignoring the bickering between the two forwards, you merely hummed contently and couldn't resist sending a fond, sneaky glance towards Andrei at the way he still immediately jumped to your defense, no matter how miniscule of a defense it was.

Was he just trying to keep the tension bearable until he could leave? Or has he genuinely missed you and regretted what he said all that time ago?

"You're staring." A low voice whispered into your ear, causing you to immediately whip around with a startled squeak. And, not to your surprise, it was Turbo who had snuck into the kitchen next to you and Martin unseen.

You crossed your arms, tilting your head up with an indignant huff. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Martin and Teuvo exchanged an amused glance before, fortunately, changing the topic. You had missed simple conversations with the hockey players, talking about your day or what silly thing the other had done at practice. It was refreshing, and once a lull in conversation came, the three of you eventually turned to face the large window in the kitchen that overlooked the beach front, now pitch black with only the stars reflecting across the water.

"It really is a beautiful place," Martin hummed from beside you, and you were much inclined to agree. "How'd you manage to book it for so long?"

"One of my friend's parents owns it, and they convinced them to let us stay while they're all in Italy."

Teuvo raised his eyebrows. "Italy? Are their parents in the mafia?"

You bit down your grin. "I don't know, they wouldn't give me a straight answer."

You openly laughed at the look on both their faces, ignoring their questions as you finally began to drag them both away from the window to get settled in. While you were positive you could have stayed up until the early hours of the morning catching up, you wanted to give them all a chance to get settled into their rooms considering they were staying there for the entirety of the week.

And you also wanted some alone time so you could freak out over the first physical contact you’ve had with Andrei in ages, but that was irrelevant.

As you entered the large living room once more, the three of you arrived just in time to see Andrei and Sebastian rolling off of the couch simultaneously.

"Are we doing something tomorrow?" Andrei asked as you walked up next to them.

"My company not enough for you?" You teased, completely forgetting the fact that such jokes weren't exactly… Appropriate anymore since, well, your company hadn't been enough for him to accept the feelings you had for him, all that time ago.

The way his expression fell into one of guilt reminded you of that, and you quickly tried to remedy that sad look on his face you couldn't stand to see.

"I heard there were wild horses here?" Teuvo, bless him, thankfully spoke up, and you breathed out a small sigh of relief as the entire conversation shifted onto other things. "Those would be cool to see."

Martin immediately shot up at the mention of his favorite animal. "Horses?"

"Mhm," You nodded, laughing at the excited look in Martin's eye. "I'd have to sign us up though so we might not get to go immediately yet."

"That's cool," Teuvo shrugged, leaning up against the staircase. "Anything on the agenda for tomorrow?"

You shrugged bashfully. "The beach?"

Once the five of you seemingly determined your plans for tomorrow, the boys were finally able to seek out the quiet of their rooms and begin to get ready for bed. The many hours of traveling together must have really done a number on them, especially if Sebastian and Teuvo weren’t even bothering to play their video games together before sleeping like they normally would.

As you showed the rest of them where their rooms were, it didn't take a genius to notice the way Andrei was lagging behind, sneaking careful glances at you from the corner of his eye and trying to speak, but the words just wouldn't fall from his mouth no matter how hard he tried.

You didn't give him a chance to let them. You fled, whispering a 'goodnight' to all of your friends and retreated to the safe confines of your room.

Andrei sighed, accepting the defeat. At least now that you were here, he'd have plenty of time to figure out how the fuck he was supposed to tell you he, well... He didn't know what he felt, but it definitely wasn't what friends should be feeling towards each other.

He couldn't help but wonder if that love you claimed to have for him so many months ago was still just as strong now as it was then, though when he thought back to the way you avoided his eyes and fled to your own bedroom he had a strong inclination to believe that love had long since diminished.

He bit back a frustrated groan at the thought. Why were you acting so strange now when before you had hugged him like you were never letting him go again?

A hand clapped him on the shoulder, and Andrei turned around with a huff to face his other friend. "She looks happier," Martin spoke quietly, referring to how easily you'd welcomed them all back into your life.

Well, minus him.

"She'll warm up to you. Give her time, it's been awhile." He responded quietly, easily seeing through his friend's insecurities.

"What if time was not enough?"

Martin tilted his head, hiding his sly smile and thinking back to when Teuvo caught you staring at him back in the kitchen. "It is. Or it will be."

Andrei narrowed his eyes skeptically. "But-"

"Go to bed, Drei." The left winger laughed, grinning at the confusion in his friend's eyes as he reluctantly nodded his head. God, Sepe was right, the two of you were idiots when it came to each other.

Hopefully soon, one of you would man up and finally decide to address what the fuck had happened that night so long ago and any feelings that might have remained.

Andrei let out a curse from his room, and Martin sighed at his friend’s stupidity.

Hopefully soon indeed.

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harrywritingsbyme · 4 years ago

Text

A Special Valentine

Anonymous Said: would it be possible for the "series of firsts" it's harry's first time with a girl...

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: So I’ve been sitting on this concept for what seems life forever. I’ve gotten ideas and I’ve lost ideas and it’s been a good while of writing little drafts and stuff for this fic. But, I am so so so thankful to have @adore-you-hs2 and @honeyfulharries for helping me brainstorm some ideas for this fic!! Since I wrote a virgin!Y/n fic last year around valentines day, I figured I’d do a fic for Harry, only this time incorporating more of the valentines theme. So it’s hella soft and fluffy with a lil angst, and when you get to the smut it’s hella filthy😂I hope y’all like it and I hope all of you had a lovely day…yesterday or the day before bc this valentine is hella late and timezones are a bitch. This is a brand new installment in a series of firstsss!! Anywaysss…enjoy🙃❤️

7.3k wordsss

Harry was beyond embarrassed. He was almost at the point of being ashamed. While all of his friends divulged about their sex lives and talked about how their significant other was in bed, he just sat next to you idly without anything to add to the conversation. He couldn’t talk about his favorite positions to have you in or little tricks he has for the bedroom. He was a virgin and didn’t have any type of experience whatsoever in regards to sex. The most he’d ever done with someone was touching over the clothes and making out. When he was all by himself, Harry did what he had to do; which he actually felt like he did a pretty good job with. It’s not that he didn’t know what he was into or liked in regards to his pleasure. Harry knew what his favorite content was and he even had a couple toys he liked to use on himself. It’s just that when he got to the more intimate phase of the relationship, he always got flustered and nervous. Even when it came to oral or mutual masturbation. He didn’t exactly know why he wasn’t able to express himself or be the same person he was when he was behind closed doors and alone. What made matters even worse for him though was the fact that he always felt rushed. Like whenever he said that he wasn’t quite ready or that he was a virgin, the dynamic of the relationship shifted. Ultimately leaving him alone to feel embarrassed, a bit hopeless, and sad over the fact that he was still a virgin. He also felt unwanted given the fact that a couple of his prior relationships fizzled out pretty quickly after he revealed that he hadn’t had his first time and that he wasn’t ready to do so at that moment.

Eventually though, Harry reached the point of not even bothering or trying to meet new people and be in a relationship. He felt like he’d never be accepted nor meet the right person for him, let alone be ready to go all the way. So he put all of that on the back burner and just went along with life, becoming content with being completely by himself. And then he met you. It was like the perfect cliche. You were the person who never judged him for being a virgin or tried to rush him into doing anything he wasn’t up to or ready for. You just loved him for him and you wanted to be with him and be in love. It was like he was being understood and heard for the first time in a very long time and it felt great. With you, Harry was never made to feel like he was less than because of his choice and feelings when it came to his virginity. In fact, when you listened to what he’d been through in the past, it broke your heart. You could tell that he was really heartbroken and deeply saddened about it all and you never wanted to make him feel that way or even worse. So you made it your mission to never put pressure on him when it came to this and you made it your mission to listen and be there for him. You weren’t going to back out of your relationship over this; you loved him too much to even consider doing that.

Even though he was fine with and had accepted the idea of being by himself, Harry didn’t want that for the rest of his life. He wanted to be with someone, he wanted to love someone unconditionally and be unconditionally loved back. And he got just that in you. He’d have to spend an entire lifetime compiling all of the words that could describe how perfect you are and how much he loves your relationship. Sure the two of you annoyed the hell out of each other at times and had disagreements. But neither of you wanted to annoy or disagree with anyone else. Over the past almost year of being together, you and Harry grew closer and closer. You two grew to love each other more than ever and this love was growing more and more each day. You and Harry could agree that there was a long and bright future ahead for you two and that was very exciting for you both. And in the process of growing and building your relationship, the two of you never had sex. You always followed Harry’s lead and you just went with the flow. Now things got a bit hot and heavy at times, but you and Harry were more than capable of taking care of yourselves so you two just stopped and didn’t go any further. From the toys you both had to your special “entertainment” and your vivid imaginations, you two were were just fine until the right time came along. And you specifically, refused to put any type of pressure on Harry. When it came to your first time together and Harry’s first time ever, you had the mindset that if Harry was comfortable, you were comfortable.

And that was another reason why Harry felt so embarrassed. He was sitting next to you, his incredibly supportive and understanding girlfriend, in the middle of a conversation with you guys’ friends about your sex lives when he’s never had sex with you, or anyone for that matter. Listening to them, he felt like he was sort of holding you back and not fulfilling you the way you deserved. Even though you reminded him that the right time was when he was ready and that you were perfectly fine with that, Harry still felt a way. He still felt embarrassed. And on top of all that, you were being so sweet and understanding in the midst of it all. You were really trying to make him a little less uncomfortable and not so out of place. You could sense and see a little bit of that in the way he sank into the couch and cuddled into you a little more, so you wanted to be there for him and help him relax a bit. You were making a little conversation with him while the others talked amongst themselves, you played with his rings, and you gave him little kisses here and there. But you could only do but so much in that moment. Despite your efforts, Harry still felt the same way. Without any warning, Harry moves away from you a bit and stands from the couch, quickly announcing to the group that he needed a little fresh air. At first you just let him go, figuring that you should let him have his space. But after a couple minuets of sitting there without him, not really wanting to engage in the conversation at hand, you decide to get up and go out to him, giving the excuse that you wanted to check on him and see if he was okay. To be honest, it felt very weird to sit there without him.

You quickly walk away from the group in the direction Harry left in, needing to find him soon as you possibly could. Once you made it out the front door you turn to find him sitting in one of the chairs a couple steps away looking completely deflated. You couldn’t let him be all alone when he was feeling like this. So you quietly walk over, sitting down in the chair next to him, with your body and attention completely in his direction.

“I couldn’t sit there anymore.” He huffs, breaking the silence and bringing his hands up to his face.

“I understand babe.” You sigh, reaching over to rub his arm.

“It’s just- It’s so embarrassing that I’m in my late 20’s an I haven’t done anything with you, or anyone else for that matter.” He explains.

“That is nothing to be embarrassed about Harry.” You softly exclaim, picking yourself up from your seat to sit in his lap. “Your virginity is yours, and only yours. That’s your decision to make, not mine, nor anyone else’s.” You affirm.

“But It’s not normal considering I’m 27! What are you even with me?! I don’t want you to be with me and not be fulfilled.” He stresses quietly, feeling incredibly defeated. The entire situation brought up feelings and thoughts that he’d tried very hard to get past. When he says this, you immediately cup the sides of his face, forcing him to focus on you.

“Now I want you to listen to me. I am with you because I love you so fucking much and you’re the most amazing person in the entire world. Sex is great and all but I can wait as long as you need if it means being with you and loving you to pieces. Hell, I’ll wait until we’re married if that’s what you choose to do. The point is, I’m yours and I will wait as long as necessary. With or without sex, you fulfill me Harry.” You softly explain to him, looking him right in the eye as you say every word. You could see the tears welling up in his eyes as you spoke to him.

“I love you so much Y/n.” Harry sighs, still feeling a bit down. “Can we go to your place and cuddle.” He mumbles through a pout.

“Of course baby! I’ll run back inside and let everyone know you’re not feeling well and then we can head home. How does that sound?” You propose with a smile.

“That sounds amazing.” He sighs, a small smile spreading across his face.

“Can I have a kiss first?” You ask, puckering your lips towards him. In response he gives you a cute little nod before you lean down to press your lips against his. When the two of you kiss you can feel Harry relax a bit, which is exactly what you wanted. You knew that this wouldn’t solve this entirely, but it was a step in the right direction and it made Harry feel a little better which was all that mattered. “Now you wait right here and I’ll be right back.” You softly instruct after pulling away from his lips, following up with another kiss to the forehead before moving yourself off of his lap and back inside. After letting everyone know that Harry wasn’t feeling well and that you two were going to head out, you and Harry go back to your place and spend time together, cuddling and watching you guys’ favorite show and some movies, eventually falling asleep all cuddled with each other.

~ ~ ~

After that day, Harry began to think about going all the way with you and finally having sex for the first time a lot more than usual. Over the past year almost, you’ve shown him that you really do love and care about him. You never pressured him into doing anything and you always reminded him that he should do all of this at his own pace. You also showed him that you were the one; you were the one he could and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There were just so many things about you that he loved. So many things that Harry couldn’t imagine having his first time with anyone else. And he made sure to tell you that after deliberating on the matter for a couple of days.

“I think I’m ready to lose it.” Harry whispers, completely out of the blue as the two of you wash the dishes from your little date night.

“You’re ready to y’know, have sex?” You question, wanting to make sure you heard him correctly.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a little bit and I realized that I’m ready to do it. And I want to do it with you. I wouldn’t want to have my first time with anyone else to be completely honest with you.” He explains, a small smile spreading across his face as he continues drying the dishes you’ve washed and handed over to him.

“Well I’m very honored, that you’re entrusting me with this. And I hope that it’s as good as you’ve imagined.” You reply to him, beginning to feel a bit of nervousness and excitement at the idea of being Harry’s first time. You’d never thought about it much since Harry wasn’t ready. But now that he was, you were feeling so many things and you were thinking about so many things as the time had finally come.

“Well I highly doubt that it will be anything less than amazing baby.” Harry hums, dropping the dishtowel and turning his attention to you. “I love you.” He sighs happily, prompting you to turn your head to face him.

“I love you too babe.” You coo, leaning in to press a quick peck to his lips.

~ ~ ~

Now you refused to let Harry’s first time be anything short of special. So you decided to plan something romantic for you two at your place, and you planned for this to be on Valentines Day. Not only would it be your first time celebrating as a couple, but it would also be your first intimate moment with Harry. And you wanted everything to be perfect, so you made a list of everything you’d need for the night at least a week or two in advance. You had everything from ingredients for dinner to a new set of lingerie. You also went over the list several times to make sure that you got everything you could possibly need for that night. You even went as far as to plan a little backup dinner in case something went wrong with the initial plan. You just wanted to make this night perfect for Harry. He’d gone through a lot in his relationships to get here and you wanted him to see that doing it all at his pace paid off and that he was special and loved. In the couple of days leading up to the big day, you began shopping and getting everything together. You got all of the food, wine, and decoration along with your lingerie and some other things for yourself that would make the entire experience that much better.

And when the day finally came, you were excited and all ready to go.

You had dinner cooking, the wine was in the fridge chilling, your bedroom was all set up with a fresh set of sheets, a couple candles set up and ready to be lit, a mix of red and white rose petals on the bed, and the perfect playlist (which you spent a good amount of time on) queued up. Not to mention the fact that you had your lingerie and everything perfectly set up in the bathroom so that you could be ready to change right into it after dinner. All you needed now was Harry. When he texted you to let you know that he was less than ten minuets away, you quickly throw on the dress you’d picked out for the evening along with your shoes and you do a final once over in the mirror before leaving your bedroom, making sure to close the door to keep that part of the evening a surprise. You pulled the wine from the fridge and you put the finishing touches on the table that was perfectly set for your dinner. In the final minuets before Harry’s arrival, you do a final walk through of everything you’d set up, it ending with a soft knock on your door signaling to you that Harry had arrived. When you hear him, your heart immediately begins to race from being nervous and excited for the night ahead. You immediately move yourself to the door, quickly giving yourself a little pep talk before opening the door for Harry. And when you did, you were almost certain you were going to pass out. Not only because you were buzzing around your apartment doing everything, but also because your boyfriend looked so good. What he had on was very simple but it was doing so much at the same time. You just wanted to pull him straight to the bedroom. But you didn’t. It took a lot of self control, but Harry was able to make it inside and settle down a bit before you two hit the bedroom

But it wasn’t that much of a gap in between Harry settling in and you two hitting the bedroom though. See, once you let him inside and gave him a kiss, it was like game over. He had a big basket that was beautifully filled with the things you loved and a couple presents he got you in one hand, and a big bouquet of your favorite flowers in the other. When he got inside, Harry happily and proudly gave them both to you and let you check them both out while he snooped around in the kitchen a little to see what you had prepared and opened the bottle of wine you had out on the counter for you two. Once you started, you couldn’t stop gushing over and thanking Harry for what he got you. It was beyond thoughtful and you couldn’t wait for him to fully experience his gift of the night you’d planned out. Once you and Harry began talking and drinking a little, you two loosened up and were enjoying each other. The lights were dimmed a bit, there were candles just about everywhere, you and Harry were in love, and the two of you were all alone. It was absolutely perfect and romantic. On top of all that though, there was the pleasant elephant in the room, that being Harry giving you the green light that he was ready for his first time. If there were no other indicators in the days leading up to this moment, there was definitely one now that was strongly pointing to him losing it tonight. He wasn’t anxious and he wasn’t thinking about backing out and telling you that he’s changed his mind. He knew that you’d be all on board with that but Harry was absolutely ready to be with you intimately. He was so ready that he couldn’t take his mind off it on the ride over. And once he arrived, Harry was completely floored by how amazing you looked and how you put this entire evening together that he was even more ready to go to the bedroom. He was so ready and excited that he completely gave up on talking. The two of you transitioned yourselves into the kitchen to get started with dinner, but Harry was very much so enjoying the idea of saving that for later. So without any word from him on what he was in the mood for, Harry takes your wine glasses and sits them on the counter, freeing your hands up as he traps you in between his body and the kitchen counter before attaching his lips with yours.

When he does this, you practically melt under his touch. You were already in a daze from how amazing he looked, and from how sweet and amazing he was to you. So when Harry began to kiss you with such passion and need, you instantly obliged. Again, you were following his lead. If he wanted to skip and come back to dinner, you weren’t going to oppose one bit. As the two of you continued to kiss, you could feel him hardening against you which prompted the area between your legs to initiate the process of becoming all warm and sticky and go into overdrive. His hands were on your body, he was tightly pressed against you, and his mouth was magically moving against yours. This was just what you needed to fully get into the skipping right to the bedroom mood. It wouldn’t have taken much on Harry’s end to get you there but this was fantastic, so you weren’t complaining at all. When you hear Harry let out a soft moan into your mouth and move himself against you a little, you decide to take control and move you two to the bedroom a little faster.

“Do you wanna just come back to dinner?” You whisper after pulling your lips away from his a bit.

“Mhm.” He immediately hums in response, loosening himself from your body so that you could move a bit more.

“Then let’s go.” You whisper with a smile, moving yourself from underneath him and grabbing his hand, pulling him in the direction of your bedroom. When you reach the door, you tease him a little by slowly turning the door knob, making sure to keep eye contact the entire time to drive him insane. And that definitely did the trick of riling him up some more. That is, until he got all soft once the bedroom was revealed to him. You went out of your way to make this space romantic since this was the place where he’d have his first time. “I wanted to make everything perfect for you.” You softly explain as you pull him into the room.

“Have I told you that I love you tonight?” He asks, through a small breath.

“Probably about a million times.” You happily joke with him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Well for time one million and one, I love you so so much. Like with my entire being. I love you so much that it hurts. And I couldn’t be more honored to be yours.” Harry says, bringing his lips to yours for a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

“I love you so much baby, so much.” You reply happily to him, so excited to move into the next step of your relationship. “Now get back into I want sex mode...that’s so hot on you and I have another surprise.” You continue, wanting to keep going and go all the way.

“Considering how hard I am, I don’t think I’ll be out of “I want sex mode” for a while.” Harry truthfully replies with a chuckle that had the slightest tinge of bashfulness from how he was already rock hard and ready for you.

“Good! Now lay down and wait for me.” You say, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and pulling you both towards the bed before pushing him back down onto it. You then proceed to straddle him, bringing your face down to a mere inch or so away from his. “And if you wanna take your clothes off too, I’m definitely unopposed. ” You suggest with a smirk, planting a little peck to his lips before climbing off of his lap and walking out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where your lingerie was waiting for you, leaving Harry on the bed completely dumbstruck and needy.

As soon as you close the bathroom door, you immediately begin working on removing your dress, pulling the zipper down to loosen it up and shrugging it off your body leaving you completely naked. As you looked in the mirror, you began to debate on whether or not you wanted to surprise him with being all naked or teasing him and making him work for it a little with the lingerie you had out and ready. Even though you were ready to just run back out there completely naked and just get down to business, you decided to put on the lingerie and let Harry unwrap you. As you put it on, all you could think about was Harry taking it all off. Like you could imagine him pulling it all off your body. With your panties especially, you could picture him pulling them off strings of your arousal coming with them. After getting the lacy garments on your body, you start pulling and moving it all around a bit. Once you’re all done with the lingerie, you pull the little sheer robe that came along with it on and you take a couple deep breaths before making your way back out to Harry. When you walk back into the bedroom, Harry’s eyes immediately shoot in your direction and practically pop out of his head when he sees you. He’d seen you in a two piece bathing suit before but that was about it. He’d never seen you this bare and exposed before. As you moved around the room to light the candles, Harry’s eyes followed your every move and you could feel it. You could feel his eyes burning holes into your skin as you lit the candles and really set the mood for your time together. After you lit the candles and pressed play for your music, you were all ready to go.

When you turn your full attention to Harry, you weren’t that surprised to see him fighting to quietly palm at his cock on the bed. His eyes were tightly closed as he squeezed his cock through his underwear. He was so engrossed on keeping himself quiet and relieving some of the pressure that had been mounting from the time he left home that he didn’t even notice you crawling up the bed. What he does notice though is you straddling his thighs, when he feels you on top of him, his eyes immediately shoot open and he quickly retracts his hand from his lap.

“You just look so good, I couldn’t help myself.” He rushes out in explanation. He could see it all. Your breasts were sitting perfectly in the lacy bra you were wearing, and from where Harry was, they looked beyond amazing. When his eyes traveled a bit lower, he could see where the two sides of your panties met to form a barely there strip to cover your pussy. If that wasn’t enough, the fabric was clinging to you and pushing up into your folds since the panties were pretty much nonexistent and you were very wet. He’d pictured you on top of him before, just never like this.

“Well I’m glad you like it because it’s all yours.” You reply, moving yourself up his body to sit right in his lap, causing Harry to gasp from the sight and feeling of you being naked and right on his cock. Harry was in sensory overload and so overwhelmed that he couldn’t form a single word in response. “Are you okay baby?” You softly ask, bringing your hand down to his cheek.

“Mhm…you just look so good, I don’t know where to start.” He whispers, bringing his eyes to meet yours.

“You could start by touching me.” You suggest, reaching down to grab Harry’s hand and bring it up to one of your thighs to which Harry replicates with his other hand. Instead of rushing him along, you wanted him to explore your body and relax into the intimacy. You wanted him to be comfortable and do the things he’d dreamt of and feel the things he always wanted to feel. “And just relax” You begin, leaning down to bring your mouth to his ear. “I have a strong feeling that you’re gonna be really good at this.” You admit to him before lifting yourself back up. When Harry hears this, he eases up. Hearing that you thought he’d be good was the confidence boost he needed to get the ball rolling.

He begins to move his hands up your thighs, curling his thumbs inward towards the inner, more sensitive area. His hands continue on up your body, pushing past your hips, and all the way up to your chest where he brings both of his hands around to wrap them around your covered breasts. When he does this, you let out a little sigh of relief, loving the way his big hands felt around you. Harry loved how soft and squishy they felt in his hands, and he wanted to feel more. So he pushes his hands underneath your arms and manages to swiftly undo your bra. He couldn’t do it with one hand yet but you were very impressed (and even more turned on) at how he as able to quickly do it on his first try. The fabric is now hanging loosely on your body, allowing Harry to pull it down and off your body to fully expose your breasts to him. Your nipples were fully pebbled and practically screaming for him to play with them. He brings his hands back around, going straight to your breasts and right to your nipples. His fingers tugged and twisted at them, leaving you unable to hold back anymore moans that were threatening to spill out of your mouth. You also couldn’t help but to grind down against his clothed cock, which in turn caused Harry to start moaning beneath you. The soft music was now completely overpowered by your combined moans.

“Can I be on top?” He pants, dying to get you completely naked and explore your body.

“Anything you want!” You exclaim, through one of your moans. Letting Harry take control of everything, you let him flip you two over so that he’s hovering over your body. As soon as he’s on top of you, Harry’s mouth immediately latches onto your skin, starting at the side your your neck. He starts sponging and sucking wet kisses into your skin, leaving a trail of them down your chest, stopping at the tops of your breasts so that he could pay them some more attention. The takes them both into his mouth individually and suckles on them, lapping his wet tongue around your nipples and squeezing the supple flesh surrounding them. For some reason, Harry felt at home with his mouth around your nipples. It was so good that Harry was rutting his clothed cock against you. As he continues, you’re softly moaning from the pleasure. You had a hand wrapped in his hair and the other on his back as he mouthed at your breasts. And as if he could read your mind, Harry picks up where he left off with his trail of kisses and makes his way further down your body.

You wanted him to just explore your body and touch and feel you the way you knew he’d imagined. But you really wanted him between your legs. Your cunt had swallowed up the panties by now and the panties were nothing more than a damp piece of string at this point. When he makes it to the hand of your panties, Harry’s heart begins to speed up, excited to take them off and see what was underneath. He pushes his fingers into the thin bands that were wrapped around your hips and he begins to pull them down. He carefully watches as your cunt is being revealed to him. He can see how you were sopping wet and how plushy and soft your pussy was. There were strings of your arousal connecting your cunt and panties as he pulled them from between your legs. Once they fully off of you, and you’re completely naked, Harry lifts himself up from between your legs to soak in your naked body. He couldn’t believe how beautiful your naked body looked for him. You looked so soft and pretty below him, completely spread and exposed to him.

“Y’so pretty baby.” He sighs, bringing his hands down to your thighs. “Can I eat you baby?” He sweetly asks, bringing his eyes down between your legs so look at the sticky mess that was between your thighs.

“Please Harry!” You moan, desperately needing his mouth on you again. At your response, Harry lays back down on the bed between your spread legs. He could smell your arousal and he was incredibly excited to taste you. He’d never don’t this before so he was a bit nervous that he wouldn’t do that good of a job. “Just lick into me baby, nothing to be nervous about.” You remind above him, bringing your hand to his head to give his hair a little tug. And with that, Harry dives right in. He just buries his face into your cunt, lapping his tongue up and down your folds. He pushed his tongue anywhere he could. He pushed between your folds, nestling his tongue right inside and against your entrance. He could feel the small opening and his cock immediately twitched in his pants. His cock was supposed to fit in there? While he didn’t want to hurt you, Harry was so interested and curious to see how you’d take all of him. He knew it wasn’t impossible but it was definitely something he was excited to see in person. He was so excited that he couldn’t stop himself from digging his hips into the mattress below. You tasted so good, you were incredibly warm, and he was beyond excited to feel your cunt around his cock.

You on the other hand were falling apart at the seams. You were on cloud nine, completely obsessed with the way he was licking into you. His strokes weren’t those of someone who was skilled and had done this before. But they were definitely amazing and you couldn’t get enough. He was licking and sucking on you perfectly, he even managed to find your clit. And it was his first time ever. He even tried pushing the tip of his tongue into your entrance, prodding at your tight hole. And on top of all that, he was moaning against you, seemingly enjoying how you tasted. When he wasn’t licking at your cunt, Harry was licking your thighs, almost trying to clean you up. He licked your thighs, the area right outside of your pussy, and he even licked the area below your cunt. He was hypnotized by your cunt. He just wanted to stay between your legs forever and have his mouth on you while he humped the bed below him. Of course he wanted to push his cock into you, but after he ate your cunt.

“Need you inside me Harry!” You scream, bucking your hips up into his mouth a bit. You were feeling incredibly sensitive and you could feel your own release coming. And before you came, you needed to feel Harry’s cock inside of you. When he hears you beg for him to be inside of you, he immediately stops and pulls himself up from the bed. When he’s kneeling between your legs, your eyes travel up from his no doubt painfully large bulge to his face. From his mouth down to his chin, even his nose, Harry’s face was glistening with your juices.

“Whats so funny?” He asks confusedly.

“Your face is all wet.” You reply, a wide smile spread across your face in the process.

“I just love eating your pussy.” He says truthfully, leaning down for a kiss. When your lips connect, you wrap your arms around Harry’s neck to keep him down against you. His lips sloppily move against yours, moaning into your mouth as he pushes his clothed cock against your bare and incredibly sensitive cunt. Keeping one of his elbows planted on the bed, Harry brings his other hand down to his boxers and does his best to push them down his legs. He struggles a bit before finally getting them down enough to expose his cock. When you feel him nudge you a little bit, you immediately turn your mouth away from Harry’s, turning your attention downwards between his legs.

“Need some help baby?” You offer, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and extending them down to his hips.

“Just need t’take them off.” He replies, quickly lifting himself up from on top of you to fully remove his boxers. Harry then goes back to kneeling between your legs, now with his painfully hard and dripping cock on display. You knew that he was big from the glances you’d taken at his pants a couple times, but you didn’t know that he was this big. He was hands down the biggest you’d ever taken, and no one before him ever came close. On top of his monstrous size, you could see the thick veins running up his shaft and you saw precum beading at his swollen slit. You wanted him inside you first, but your mouth was definitely watering. You couldn’t wait until you were able to take him into your mouth and stuff all of him inside. But for now, you were excited to take him inside of you for the first time and be his first time.

“Are you ready babe?” You ask.

“Mhm. I um- I bought some condoms just in case. It’s up to you though. I trust that you’re all good.” He says, laughing a little in the end.

“I bought some too. But I think we’re good. And I trust that you’re all good as well.” You reply with a shy smile.

“Okay then, let’s do this.” He cheerfully says.

“Let’s do it!” You reply, mirroring his excitement. “Do you want me on top or are you good?”

“I think I’m good.” He says, as he leans down to closely hover over you. “But I know you’re going to feel like heaven so I may not be.”

“That’s okay, I can take control.” You reply suggestively, pulling your lower lip between your teeth.

“Good, I like the sound of that.” He whispers in agreement, connecting his mouth with yours for one final kiss as he slowly and carefully pushes his cock against your folds. “Fuck, m’gonna push in now baby.” He pants, already losing his shit over how warm and wet your folds feel against his cock.

“Please.” You moan, needing to be full of his cock.

And with that, Harry begins to push his cock into you, using one of his hands to guide himself inside. When Harry pushes past your entrance, you two lose it. You were so tight that when his engorged head pushes into you, there a piercing sensation that comes along with it. You hadn’t had sex in a very long time and Harry’s size was completely unmatched. For Harry, he was on the verge of collapsing on top of you. You were so so tight and warm and wet, he’d never felt anything like it. No matter how much lube he used or how fast he tugged at his shaft, he never and would never be able to match the decadence of your walls around him. And he’d only pushed the head of him inside. He actually had to stop for a second to get his bearings because his head was spinning. Once he’s caught his breath and the room stopped spinning as fast, Harry continues pushing himself inside. With every inch that becomes sheathed with your walls, your combined moans get louder. Your mouths mouth never closed, and your eyes fluttered shut as you two enjoyed the pleasure. You were in love with the perfectly balanced mix of pain and pleather came from Harry pushing into and stretching your your walls a bit to accommodate his size. Harry was taken to a different universe from the way your walls engulfed his cock. You could even feel him twitch a bit from how good he felt.

By the time he finished pushing into you, Harry’s cock was lodged all the way inside you. So deep you could just about feel him in the pit of your stomach. It was hands down incredible for the two of you. After holding himself inside of you for a little while, Harry begins to move himself back and forth inside of you. Since it was his first time doing this and feeling this for that matter, his thrusts were a bit sloppy and staggered. He tried to form a faster rhythm, or a rhythm at all but he was so overwhelmed.

“Thought I could hold it longer, but I don’t think I can. Can’t even hold myself up.” He slurs, trying to continue with his thrusts.

“Gonna get on top baby.” You moan, feeling your own release getting even closer. Without a single hesitation, you push the two of you over to that you’re on top of him, straddling his waist and keeping his cock deep inside of you. Once your adjusted on top of him, feeling like his cock was deeper than before if that was even possible, you begin to move yourself up and down on him. You weren’t going super fast, you were going fast enough to make you and Harry really feel it and get closer and closer to your releases. Harry was loudly moaning and whimpering below you, tightly intertwining his fingers with yours as he surrenders to you, and your pussy. He thrashed his head back and forth against the pillows from how good he was feeling.

“Y’so big!” You cry out to him, beginning to quickly grind down onto his cock, pushing forward a bit to dig your clit into his lower stomach. “And so deep! Can feel you all the way in here!” You cry out to him, bringing your intertwined hands up to your lower stomach for him to feel.

“Fuck Y/n! Can’t hold it anymore! Need t’cum” He groans, feeling his release beginning to consume his body.

“Me too baby! We can cum together!” You whimper, leaning down to lay on his chest. And as you begin to leave soft kisses on Harry’s lips and face, your walls begin to contract around his cock, signaling to him that you were cumming. When he felt this, Harry came right along with you. He coats all of your walls in his warm, thick, and sticky cum, spraying rope after rope into you until he couldn’t cum anymore. Your legs were full on shaking as you squirted all over his cock. The both of you were moaning messes and completely dumbstruck at how powerful your releases were. Nothing could ever compare to this and neither of you wanted to test out that theory. After letting go of everything you two had to give, you and Harry lied limply in bed, letting your bodies rest.

“I love you baby.” Harry whispers sluggishly below you.

“I love you too baby.” You softly reply back to him, nuzzling your face into his warm neck.

For the next half hour, the two of you lay there together, resting your bodies and minds from the extraordinary experience the two of you had. You two were lying there peacefully, enjoying the feeling of each others bodies and the music that was still playing through your speaker. Out of the two of you, Harry was the first to break the silence. Except, it wasn’t from him talking. It was from his stomach, letting the both of you know that he needed to be fed asap.

“When we can feel our legs again, we can eat I guess.” You breathe out through a laugh, still recovering from the most amazing sex you’d ever had and probably some of the best sex of all human history in your opinion. Even though it was his first time, Harry still managed to make a mess of you.

“Mhm, and then we can go again.” He hums dreamily, not even caring about his grumbling stomach, completely in the clouds from how amazing his first time was. He came in with his “expectations” and was completely blown out of the water. He just wanted to go again and again and again until he was fully numb and wiped out. “Maybe you can be on your front this time.” He suggests, thinking of all the ways he wanted to feel you around him.

“I think I may have created a sex monster.” And to be honest, you really didn’t mind that at all.

“Only for you my love.” He hums, wrapping his arms around your body.

And for the rest of the night, you and Harry never stopped, loving being tangled up in each other. It wasn’t always in bed, but neither of you cared. All you two cared about was being together, feeling good, and being in love. This was truly a special valentine. It was one that neither you nor Harry would ever forget.

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writing-in-april · 4 years ago

Text

Dressed in Crimson

Spencer Reid x Female Reader (Royalty AU)

Summary: Spencer is a stable boy with a passion for learning and Reader is the princess of the palace that he serves in. They’ve been in a secret relationship, the two grow restless about not being able to be out in the open.

A/N: Guys I’m so excited for this one I really really loved writing it- it’s my fourth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April and it’s also written for @omgbigfluffwriting !!! I kinda immersed myself into this quite a bit- and it’s my longest oneshot I’ve ever written 🤭The specific historical period theyre in is not specified and the world that they’re in is entirely fictional and not based on any specific point in history- if you’ve ever watched Merlin that’s kinda the vibe I was thinking of just without the magic lol (please still ignore that the gif does not have an accurate clothing choice from Spencer I just wanted a good shot of his hair that I thought of while writing this) i feel like it’s becoming so obvious how much I love historical fiction lol 😂 I’d like to hear from you guys also so if you want to drop me an ask here! It can be about anything 🥰 hope y’all enjoy!!!

Warnings: 18+, Reader has a horrible Father, subtle hints about sexism, Classism, Period typical clothing, Reader and Spencer fight for a little bit, Smut, Dom Spencer, Fingering, Handjob, Unprotected Sex, Day dreaming about fucking in public, Spencer’s possessive as hell, Ignoring the potential consequences of a creampie

Main Masterlist Word count: 4.7k

My day started out like any other with my corset made of whalebone being cinched tightly around my figure with my chemise underneath of course. Every time the ends of the laces were pulled taught on my body I thought of the days where I could get away with not having this wretched piece of clothing cutting off my breath. Those days had been so long ago, when I was just a small child, almost so long ago that I had to strain my memory to recall it. It wasn’t even until I was done clutching my mother’s skirts before I started to be forced into the confines of the worst invention in history. I would have rather muck in the mud in pants like the men, unless there was a reason for me to actually want to wear a dress.

Today, I had chosen a crimson colored gown, one of my only favorites. The front of the bodice was adorned with embroidery, one embroidered with a glistening gold thread. The sleeves were long and ever so slightly off my shoulders, ending just at my wrist. It had been perfectly handcrafted just for me, a seamstress being hired to slave away at each detail with precision. If it had been up to my father the seamstress would have been paid little to nothing for this masterpiece, but you had your own coins stashed away from your allowance to give extra to anyone that gave you goods and services.

The dress was my favorite almost solely because of someone else’s appreciation for the lush fabric, no one needed to know about that though. I did like to look nice on certain occasions, but only special ones. There was no special occasion scheduled for me to have a reason for wearing it, well none that the greater majority of the court would know about.

Only my maid Emily knew what my excursion would be today, why I dressed up so nicely. There was no feasible way for me to hide my dalliances from her, especially the one I was about to go to as it required some higher levels of stealth to be able to evade my father’s guards.

His name was Spencer, one of my father’s stable boys. I loved him more than anything, definitely more than any potential match that was arranged for me.

I gifted him whatever I could without raising suspicion, though I often hid my purchases if someone asked by excusing them as more frivolous in nature, such as a new dress. Spencer had no real need for pretty things as he’d said before, except from myself- those were his past words not mine. And, he did express to me how much he loved the dress I was wearing right now, which was tied to how we had first met.

When I first met him I had been looking for a fabric in the market stalls. I hadn’t really wanted to, I was content with all the dresses that I owned right now, they had no ornament on them, just how I preferred. However, my father demanded I get something fancier for some sort of frivolous ball that was coming up that undoubtedly had no reason to take place besides bleeding everyone else dry.

I brushed hands with him for the first time as I was looking for the material I wanted, something just fancy enough to appease my father. The stall filled with fabrics bordered one that had stacks of books, I would have much preferred to be looking at that one. My hand had gotten close to the edge while I was inspecting a fabric and it had bumped into a man who was looking at one of the books.

When I had looked up to see who had brushed my hand I was met with frantic eyes filled with apology. His stuttered apology had covered my attempt to assure him that it was fine, it had taken me grabbing both of his hands to steady him for him to listen to my reassurance.

When he had introduced himself to me after I asked it flowed into a long conversation. I could have talked to him forever, I would be content to never talk to anyone else. For a stable boy he was exceptionally smart, which I learned was from his mother who had made sure he was educated even in poverty, specifically through having him read anything she could get her hands on. From then on our blossoming friendship had flourished, and had eventually developed into more.

I slung a shawl over my shoulders made out of a fabric of similar color to my gown and also grabbed a purse filled with coins with a smile due to my reminiscing . It wasn’t cold enough for one of my velvet cloaks just yet and most of the walk down to where Spencer was housed was indoors.

The walk from my rooms in the main part of the castle to the stables on the lower floor towards the East end was longer than I would have wanted. Truthfully, I wished I would not have to live in a castle at all, I’d rather live in the small house that Spencer lived. It was just past the castle grounds at the edge of the surrounding village adjacent to the stables so he did not have to walk far for work in the mornings.

My feet tiptoed down the corridors carefully, I was lucky that I had figured out to be somewhat light on my feet otherwise I’d be caught swiftly for sure. I passed by the rooms of most of the lords and ladies staying at court, I always wondered why some chose to stay here, it was positively suffocating here. The door I used to go outside was through the kitchen, that had a myriad of breakable things strewn about that I had to stealthily avoid. Luckily, I knocked nothing over that would have woken up the cooks who slept just a room over. Turning the handle of the door had to be a slow process so no one would hear the creak of the knob while it was turned, but I did successfully make it out with no disturbance.

Beginning the stretch of my journey that was outdoors was perhaps the most risky. Guards were stationed around the perimeter of the castle in greater numbers compared to the ones indoors which were only stationed by important rooms. I weaved my way through, in some aspects it was even more confusing than the inside of the castle. Hiding behind each of the pillars was the most effective way to avoid them, the construction of them making a series of small blind spots. I had just snuck behind one of the last ones when one of the guards nearest to me moved forward a little. I stopped breathing immediately, holding it tight in my chest while I plastered myself as close as I could to the back of the pillar. My nails dug into the stone of the pillar in fear, if I was ever to be found sneaking out at night or worse in the presence of Spencer, I would either never leave my rooms again or be whisked away into marriage even earlier than planned.

When the guard did not move to investigate further I let go of the breath I was holding, still making sure to let go of it slowly so he could not hear me. Moving swiftly forward after I had taken a breath was a bit of a challenge, my knees had gone weak with fear. I pushed myself to take each step even with the weakness in my knees, there was no way I could linger any longer.

Finally I was no longer walking on stone, I was walking on the muddy earth now. It was nice to feel the ground under my feet instead of the harsh stone, it told me that I was now only a handful of strides away from Spencer’s home.

The leaves littering the ground mixing with mud crunched under my feet even as I tip toed carefully. The guards may be in the distance now, but I didn’t feel keen on testing how good their hearing may potentially be.

Passing the stables was the last marker for my journey, then I would be able to see his home too. As I passed the sleeping horses by anticipation began to replace the fear inside me. It had been a while since I had been able to come see him, making me yearn for his touch even more.

His home came into view, even in the dead of night I could make it out if I squinted my eyes hard. My pace picked up exponentially when I landed my eyes on his humble abode. It was a quaint home, fallen into disrepair as he could not afford to fix it on the meager salary that my father paid him. The purse of gold that I had brought with me was exactly for that, the repairs. He would most likely protest the gift just like any other thing I had tried to gift him. From my experience the most effective way to get him to accept anything was to leave it there with no conversation about it. I think it made him feel less guilty even though in my opinion he was owed the money in the first place, no one should have to live in squalor when they did their job every day without question or complaint.

When I finally was at the entrance of his home I entered through the door swiftly, too impatient to wait or knock. Stress melted from my shoulders when I caught sight of him, hunched over one of the books I had given him, candles strewn around to give him enough light to read.

The candles he had lit to be able to read in the night illuminated us both with a glow. He would always compliment me whenever we found ourselves in similar lighting such as this, but in my opinion there was no rivalry. Each time the candle flickered it brightened up every highlight of him, letting me see his wild curls, brown eyes deeper than any others I had ever seen, and a body that I had no doubt was crafted to perfection illuminated in a beautiful glow.

I went to compliment him just as he always did with me, but I became mesmerized when he stood up, then moving his way closer to me.

“It is nice to see you, it feels like it’s been an eternity.” It may seem dramatic for him to say that it felt that long, but I echoed his sentiment willingly.

“It is nice to see you too, Spencer. I agree it’s been far too long.” I was sure it had been at least a full moon cycle since we had the pleasure of being alone with one another, our duties to my father keeping us separated.

It had been painful whenever I would go out for a ride on my horse, to see him hand me the reins of my mare and be unable to reach out to touch him. There had been one day, about a week ago, that I had let my hand brush against his own for a moment while he handed the reins to me. It was an innocent brush of a touch, that also had a barrier in the form of my leather gloves. To anyone else it had meant nothing, but to me and him, it meant everything.

His eyes were blown wide with desire, as I suspected mine were as well. We let ourselves take in the sight of each other for a minute longer before Spencer broke the silence with a request,

“Drop your shawl, so I may see you better.” A stable hand commanding someone of such a stature such as I would’ve seen him whipped if it was any other person before him. His boldness was not unexpected, it had taken a while for him to grow so comfortable with my company. In truth, he had been quite scared when I had first met him. It was perfectly understandable considering his employer was my father, who was not known for his kindness. And, even then after his fear had faded he still had a shy exterior for a while, it only had been lifted when we began to become extremely comfortable around each other. We were each other's only form of solace in this world, we could only escape our reality when we were together.

Instead of having malice in my voice like other nobles would I simply pulled the shawl more taught around my shoulders and teased, “Why should I?”

The expression on his face was one of the ones I loved seeing on his face the most, a sly smirk. He came closer to me, with careful steps as if he was waiting for the right moment to pounce. We were so close together when he stopped moving, but still not touching. He was playing a game with me, not touching until I obliged him. As he leaned in to speak into the shell of my ear he was careful with the way he tilted his body forward so I could only feel his breath on the small portion of my skin, “Because you like it when I look at you.”

My arms fell to my sides releasing my shawl to fall from my shoulders onto the floor at his words, as they rang true. I did want him to look at me and also, of course touch me.

“You wore your favorite dress.” He observed, still not quite touching. I didn't need to answer the statement he made with the thought in my mind ‘I wore it for you’ because I knew he had already figured that out. His observational skills were keenly honed in by his constant reading whenever he had the chance, often reading books that I had gifted to him. He even sometimes read well into the night, straining his eyes in the darkness when the candle was almost merely a wick. I had found that out the first- and sadly, only time I had the opportunity to stay overnight. Since then I had pushed him to get more rest as I knew how hard he was worked to the bone during the day, courtesy of my father.

His eyes were staring at my dress, pupils blown wide, his mind seemingly off in another world maybe thinking about all the things he wanted to do to me.

“Please, touch me.” I didn’t need to speak loud, only a soft whisper for him to hear me because of how close he already was to me. So close, yet so far.

He raised his large hands, calloused from working so hard day in and day out. My own hands were soft from the expensive creams I had been pampered with since I was just a small child. I liked his hands better, they showed the hard work he used everyday to cultivate his beautiful mind and body.

I subtly licked my lips in anticipation of his touch, wanting to feel every inch of his hand roaming my body, from the tips of his fingers to where his palm met his wrist.

His fingers then started to trace over the top of my corset, just a hair away from touching the swell of my breasts. My chest was rising and falling with each breath, each inhale pushing it slightly closer to his fingers. With each fall of my chest I felt the need to quickly let go of my breath, so I could once again inhale and be brought closer to his touch.

“Please touch me.” I repeated, breathless from forcing myself to breathe into his touch.

“I am touching you.” His fingers still did not move to touch my skin, only the crimson accented in gold. It was his turn to tease me now, I was at his mercy, ready and waiting for it.

I could beg again, though quite obviously I could not convince him with it. As he was running his fingers over the cloth for what felt like the millionth time, still not touching me, I teased him back instead of begging, “No you are touching my dress.”

A mere ghost of a touch from his fingers then floated across my skin. What should have calmed my heaving chest from my gasping breaths only served to make my breathing even heavier. The slight touch was still not enough, only making my desire for his hands to roam every inch of my body even more severe.

“Perhaps I should take your corset off, to help you breathe better.” He said, as if he read my exact thoughts.

“I like your thinking.”

I was then spun around so my back was pressed into his chest. It soothes my desire for his touch some, but we both had barriers of cloth preventing me from fully feeling him. I could feel some of the warmth that was hidden underneath his shirt, which was made up of a much billowing white linen that compared to his trousers.

If my skirts were not so large I wondered if I were to push back if my behind would come in contact with his cock and whether or not his desire would be as prominent as the slickness dampening the bottom layer I was wearing. I’d have to find a way to find a pair of trousers then, sometime soon, so I could try to grind into him at a later date. There was no doubt that we’d surely find ourselves in a similar position again.

As his hands started to undo the laces of my corset with care, despite both of our desperation, a thought slipped out from his lips that I’m sure he intended to keep to himself, “I wish I could call you mine in public.”

“My father would kill you!” The taste of my voice would have been bitter in anyone’s mouth, quickly spat out in the same way I said those words. Perhaps my quick anger to his innocent thought would be insane to some, most would probably consider it a sweet thought. However, he knew from previous conversations that when those sweet thoughts were expressed that all I could feel was a heavy sadness sitting inside me, instead of desire.

Tears clouded my vision, so much so that I did not see Spencer’s arms come around me to envelop me in an embrace. I flinched a bit at first, but then melted when I realized it was him. We held each other for a while as I sobbed softly into his billowy white shirt.

He stroked my shoulder with his large hands that I loved, but the corset he had not taken off fully yet was blocking me from feeling his touch the way I wanted.

“Take it off please.” I begged softly, I wanted to feel his skin on mine, and not just his lips or his hands. I wanted to feel every inch of him.

The laces of my corset were already half undone because of his previous attempt at getting it off of me. He finished the job, pulling the corset off of my body, tossing it down to the floor. He may have loved the dress, but he was showing me through his actions that he loved what was underneath more.

Turning me around was his next step, so he could properly kiss me. The pressure was soft at first, as if he was testing the waters to see how I would feel. Feeling his soft lips on my own just made me want to pull him in further, and I did so. My fingers tangled into his curls as the kiss devolved into pure passion, we were both throwing ourselves fully into it, trying to express our feelings nonverbally.

His own hands moved to cup my breasts as he backed me into the cot he slept on every night. I did not let him push me down on the bed so he was on top of me like normal, this time I wanted to be on top for a while. When I straddled his hips the first thing I felt was his cock straining in his pants. I unbuckled them so I could wrap my hands around his cock, I wanted to feel his thick and heavy length in my hands. Precum was already dripping down his hard cock as I pumped his length with my hands. My own arousal was dampening the underneath of the skirt I still had on. Spencer confirmed it himself when he snuck his fingers underneath the fabric to play with my pleasure spots. We both groaned as his fingers entered inside me while he rubbed circles into my swollen pearl.

My skirt was bunched up in his hands, pulling up all the way to the tops of my thighs. He soon got fed up with the skirt being in the way though and maneuvered me to shuck it off of me as fast as possible. Being bare before him did not make me wither in self consciousness, it made me lean into his touch even more.

He leaned up to kiss me again while I grabbed his length and restraddled him. I was definitely wet enough to have him enter me, my separation from him making me desperate, it had been so long since we had the chance to be together like this.

I then sunk down on his length slowly, it was for me to adjust to his size and to relish in the feeling of him sliding inside me. I stilled on top of him as the back of my thighs hit the top of his, he filled me with perfection. Spencer only let me be still for a little while before his hands gripped my hips and started to guide me to roll my hips. The pace I set- well Spencer was the one who set it, was slow and deep, I was languidly rolling my hips while he thrusted up into me at a similar pace.

My face twisted in pleasure as his thrusts became more powerful, still at the same pace but with more force behind them.

“Fuck- I want everyone to know that you’re mine!” It was the exact same thing he had spoken to me earlier that had sparked anger and melancholy inside me. This time it caused a spark of pleasure instead, making me think about him fucking me in front of everyone claiming me as his.

“My father would kill you.” This time when I said it it was gasped into his mouth with little to all anger disappeared from it.

My words made Spencer growl which was swallowed by a possessive kiss. He then flipped me over roughly, my back now pressed into the cot. A high pitched squeak had escaped my lips unintentionally in surprise, it was quickly changed into a moan when he entered me again. This time the pace did not start off slow as I did not need to adjust to him inside of me.

“I don’t care.” His speech was agitated as he pounded into me, holding my legs open with both hands spreading me out for him to see everything, “No matter what anyone says or does, you’re mine.”

Pleasure sparked through me at his possessive words, I grabbed desperately at the cotton sheets trying to hold onto something as my finish was fast approaching. When the cotton sheets were not enough of a stabilizer for me I lifted my hands up to wrap around the back of his neck and pull him close.

“Come on I know you’re close, I’m close too baby.” My nails dug into his neck and back during the latter half of his sentence causing him to slightly wince. I knew he enjoyed it though because of the question that he groaned out next, “Can I cum inside you?”

Biting my lip hard was painful as I nodded my head in response to his question that had me falling over the edge. The consequences of him finishing inside me danced in the back of my head, I chose to ignore them as he did. I did not care as he filled me and I rode out my release, even if I was to somehow get pregnant because of our recklessness it did not matter. I’d gladly have his child, even if it meant I’d have to go on the run.

Instead of falling on top of me directly after finishing like I’ve heard most men do with their wives he gently removed himself from my entrance and laid down beside me on the cot. Bliss was mingling in the air between us, both unburdened by any of our problems that would become a reality as soon as I left for the night. For now we would just hold onto the bliss until it was cruelly snatched away from reality.

Spencer had a solution as always to our problems, and seemed to be thinking about the same thing I was with his next suggestion,

“Run away with me.” We were both covered in sweat that had cropped up from our activities, a contrast to the chilly air outside and in the castle. It was nice to feel warm every time I was in his arms, It was hard to resist being greedy and deciding to stay in his arms forever. It had crossed my mind more than once, but there was always something stopping me from going through with it fully. I opened my mouth to point out all the reasons why that would not be possible when he added, “And, before you say no I want to ask- what’s stopping you?”

His reasoning was sound, as it often was. My mouth opened and closed, struggling to find a reasoning before I accepted that he was right. The only potential downfall was my father’s forces searching everywhere to find me, but it would be worth it. We could also easily cross the border into nearby lands ruled by someone else that was not in alliance with him. I already felt lighter thinking about being free from the confines of the castle- and hopefully my corset. Though I would have to keep the crimson dress I wore today, even if I only wore it around him, It was his favorite and it symbolized the day that we met. He glanced over at me just as I did the same, looking right into his eyes as I spoke,“Alright.”

The light that sparked in his eyes made my heart soar, I could feel just from his gaze how ecstatic he was to spend his life with me. I didn’t need any words to know how much he loved me.

We basked for a moment in the presence of our love, Spencer broke the silence again when he started planning,“You need to go pack!”

I moved myself to sit up even though my limbs protested, wanting to sleep after our post coital bliss. A soft smile was exchanged between the two of us, “I’ll pack light, only the stuff I need.”

The purse of gold I had brought for him would no longer be used to fund his repairs, but to fund our life together. I climbed on top of him again leaning forward to capture him in a kiss that was much more chaste than the ones earlier in the night.

“I. love. you.” He whispered in between kisses making my eyes wet with tears. They weren’t born out of sadness, but of happiness that I had someone to love me as much as Spencer did.

“I love you too, I will see you soon.” I pulled myself away from his lips even though I did not want to, I then got up to leave reluctantly. Though it was easier than previous departures as I knew that it would be the last one that I would have to complete. My whole being was lighter and happier than I had ever felt before as I snuck back with a spring in my step. The only hint of what I was about to do, where I was about to go, was the mud stained at the hemline of my crimson dress.

Ask me anything

—-

Tag lists (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith (why wont tumblr let me tag you😭

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99

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Dom Spencer: @rainsong01 @evlfknb @jakobsdump

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #matthew gray gubler x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds smut #mgg #matthew gray gubler #mgg x reader #mgg smut #matthew gray gubler smut #30 fics in 30 days

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velveticamoon · 4 years ago

Text

‘LIMERENCE IN IT’S PUREST FORM’

DAZAI OSAMU X FEM! READER

— dazai finally takes off his bandages, but with that his insecurities seem to be bubbling up to the surface, scared that his s/o’s love for him may waver because of the imprints of his past upon his skin.

WARNINGS: angst (but turns into fluff??), mentions of suicide attempts (it’s dazai folks c’mon-), self-harm mentions, implied sex, profanity

[lowercase intended]

A/N: was this fic my way of professing my love for dazai? yes no ofc not. this gets so painstakingly soft at the end even i’m not sure how tf that happened but hope y’all enjoy nonetheless (feedback and reblogs are appreciated!! have a lovely day folks)

“are you sure about this?” you asked as you held his hand gently in the palm of your hand, the two of you sat cross-legged in front of each other on your bed. he sat with his clothes off, shirt discarded somewhere along the floor of the bedroom, his trench coat neatly hung across the back of your desk chair. he looked calm, despite the storm that you knew was brewing within his mind.

he slightly chuckled, his eyes closed for a split second before reopening, allowing you the chance to bask in the pools of brown that were being illuminated by the moonlight filtered through the window, casting a shadow over his form in an ethereal manner. how he always managed to look beautiful, no matter what it may be that he was doing at that moment? you’ll never know, but you’d never pass up the opportunity to bask within his beauty.

“if i wasn’t sure, i wouldn’t be sitting here in front of you like this right now, belladonna,” he said, in a hushed manner, not wanting to break the atmosphere around the two of you. he flipped his hand that was facing upwards, gently intertwining your fingers as though he was trying to calm you down. but you knew he wasn’t trying to calm just you down, for the slight shake in his fingers gave him away despite his smile-graced face.

you sighed, shutting your eyes gently for a second, giving his hand a light squeeze before reopening them to look at him.

“it’s ok to be scared, you know?” you said, watching his expression morph from one of calm to surprise, to genuine relief. if there was someone he was willing to let his guard down with, even if it was merely one of the many walls he’s caged himself in that surrounded him in an everlasting maze; it might as well be you.

“i’m fine love, but the longer you linger on this feeble task, the more i’ll be tempted to just rip them off myself~,” he said in a teasing manner. when in reality he knew that if that was the case, he’d most definitely shrink back within himself, too scared to let you know what truly lies beneath the shield of his bandages.

he just didn’t want you to abandon him, for he believed that someone as ugly as him didn’t deserve to be cradled so gently within the innocence of your touch.

“i just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, i just.. i want you to feel safe with me,” you said, eyes looking straight into his, and he saw all the unadulterated love you were pouring into his being with merely your gaze, and he almost let his breath hitch because of how overwhelmingly in love he was with you, almost.

“i want you to do it, i trust you,” he said, his voice dripping with a sense of honesty you’d never heard spilled from his lips. that small reassurance was enough for you to finally grip the ends of the everlasting bandages layered over his skin, finally tugging at the bit that would begin the anticipated unraveling of the truth that lay on his skin.

this time, his breath did hitch, your ears caught onto it, and your eyes snapped up to meet his eyes immediately. “do you want me to stop?” you asked, concern laced within your voice, and that alone made his heart melt, the initial shock of the action fading away.

he brought his hand up to stroke your cheek with his thumb, the warmth from your skin sinking into his cool hands, a soft smile tugged at his lips.

“no, i want you to keep going,” he said, and so you did.

you slowly unraveled the rest of the slightly worn-out white bandages, to the point where the pull of gravity finished the job for you. you began gently pulling away the bandages and toss them to the side, only to look back and freeze.

scars upon scars littered his pale skin; some varying in sizes, some faded, but others still fresh. but in the end, the ones that broke your heart the most were the ones engrained on his wrists, indicating that the pain had been inflicted upon him by his own hand.

your lips parted, eyes wide, the shock was ever-so evident on your face. your fingers ghosted over his skin, as though you were afraid to touch him, which in a way, you were. not because you were disgusted, but the thought of you hurting him caused you to refrain from doing so.

dazai stayed silent while watching your movements, calculating his next movements to help stimulate you but to still manage to maintain his facade, but all his thoughts got cut off as he felt you pull him into your embrace.

“i-i’m so sorry, osa, none of- fuck- none of this should’ve happened to you,” you said. dazai could only stay silent as you held him.

dazai’s mind went blank, and he could do nothing but relish in the feeling of your arms around his being, actually getting to feel you without the bandages acting as a barrier between the two of your bodies.

“something as ugly as this shouldn’t have had to even be near your skin,” you said, but despite the sentiment that dazai knew you meant with the words, he couldn’t help the feeling of them rubbing him in the wrong way.

but he didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around you too, and leaned his head atop yours, closing his eyes.

‘she thinks i’m ugly..’ the thought kept running through his head, no matter how much he tried to push it away. dazai had always been one to never let his insecurities show on the surface, but this was one of those moments where he felt as though he couldn’t possibly get more vulnerable than he already was. eventually, the thought had gnawed at him enough, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

with a sigh, he pulls away from the hug and asks “do you want me to put the bandages back on?”

you look at him confused, “does something hurt? if that’s the case, then go for it. otherwise, why?”

he shrugs, averting his gaze towards the blanket that laid beneath the two of you, and says, “i don’t know, i figured because you said that you don’t think they’re beautiful.. you didn’t want to look at them anymore.”

your heart shattered, and you couldn’t help but look at him in disbelief.

“excuse me?” you asked in an exasperated tone, you genuinely couldn’t understand where that thought came from and felt guilt pool in your chest when you realized.

‘he thinks i don’t wanna look at him anymore.. because of his scars..?’

your features immediately softened, and with the way you gazed at him with tears in your eyes, one could only describe your expression as heartbroken.

you cupped his cheek with the palm of your hand and turned his face to look at you, but his eyes remained averted.

you sighed, “osamu, look at me.” you said, voice gentle but held a sternness to it that he knew he’d be an idiot to refuse to comply with.

“what in the fucking universe gave you that idea?” you said, his eyes slightly widened, lips barely parted at the way your voice shifted.

but the thing that shocked him the most was the pure determination that was spread across your features. you gazed at him with such sincerity that he felt utterly enamored by it, almost getting lost in your eyes if it weren’t for your voice bringing him back.

“your scars, although yes, i don’t think they’re beautiful, i’d never want you to hide them from me. the only reason i don’t think of them as beautiful is because of the amount of pain i can only imagine that came with them. and it's ironic, considering i know how much you hate pain.. yet you’ve had to endure so much of it,” you let out with a bitter chuckle. “it doesn’t mean i would try to turn a blind eye and move on, as though they were never there in the first place.” you paused, forcing your throat to not close up on you as you spoke, trying your damn hardest to keep your tears at bay, to stay strong, all for him. you knew that that’s what he needed the most right now, and that became all the more prominent when you noticed the tears beginning to prick at his eyes as well.

you shut your eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to recollect your thoughts, before looking back into his eyes.

“when i told you i loved you, i meant it. every word,” you said, and his breath hitched at your words, but that didn’t stop you, no.

for nothing could stop the way your heart beats for the man in front of you. no matter how ugly the scars may be that were permanently ingrained in his skin, that wouldn’t cause you to lose sight of the true beauty that lies within his soul.

“when i told you that i love you.. i made a promise to myself. to love and cherish every part of you, the good and the bad, the quirks and the flaws, the beauty, and the pain. i promised to love all of you.. even the parts you’ve come to hate yourself.” you said slowly, with a bittersweet smile lining your features, dazai could do nothing but stare at you as you spoke your heart out to him.

“..why?” was the only word he could croak out. he internally loathed how weak and feeble he sounded in that moment, how he didn’t want it to show how much of an effect you had on him with just your mere words, but that was something that he knew he’d never be able to hide. everyone in the world knew that if there was one thing dazai would never lie about, it was his love for you.

you smiled softly, and brought your other hand up to brush the messy tuft of hair atop his head back behind his ears, and leaned your forehead against his, the one that was resting against his cheek reaching down and grabbing his hand with yours and holding it against your heart. dazai’s heart fluttered at how earnest you looked in that moment.

“because.. it’s you. it doesn’t matter to me which part of you it may be.. in the end, it’s still you, and that’s all that matters to me.” you said, and he immediately connected your lips with his, as though with the simple action he was going to be able to pour all the words he wanted to say to you at that moment into your heart and mind.

and it did. it always did.

when it came to the way he kissed you, you could always tell the meaning behind each one.

the playful kisses from when he’s running away from kunikida, always coming in the form of quick and rushed pecks, only for him to continue running right after.

tender kisses to your forehead when the two of you are in the comfort of your home where you both know that no one’s watching, the kind that makes your heart flutter in the best way.

the kisses that occur when he’s managed to come back from a dangerous mission, all in one piece and he always makes sure to come back and give you a lingering kiss, to reassure you, and him, that you’re both still there and alive.

and the soft and delicate kisses to your cheeks for when he’s feeling particularly nostalgic. whether he’s reminded of something from his past, or on the days where the remembrance of his dear friend oda becomes too much to handle.

you always knew the meaning behind dazai’s kisses, and at that moment you knew that the kiss you two shared was a symbol of both of your love being poured into one another’s souls.

the two of you parted, your foreheads resting back against each other’s, breathing slightly heavy from the kiss, but that didn’t stop dazai from murmuring the words ‘i love you’ against your lips.

and he meant it, because why lie about the one thing you’ve never been more sure about in your entire life? even if he felt as though he never deserved it in the first place.

you smiled, and he’d forever feel entranced by the way the moon now cast its glow along the features he’d always found himself to be completely infatuated with. the way your hair graced and complimented your entire being only added to that infatuation.

“i love you too, my beautiful prince.” your lips captured his once again. “let me show you just how much,” you murmured against his lips as you started to gently push him back towards the bed, trailing gentle kisses along anywhere your lips could reach.

and dazai knew, no matter how many times the world may lie to him, that if there was one thing he could always believe in, it was the love the two of you shared, for it was more than love.

»»————　　————««

dazai let his thoughts wander as the two of you laid next to each other, basking in the feeling of your naked bodies tangled up within the sheets, and he watched as you littered gentle kisses along his wrists, kissing each of his scars that your lips could reach.

his heart swirled in a sensation that he could only describe as peace. _no, _it felt like more than that.

“hey, y/n..” he quietly called out. you stopped your actions, humming in response and tilting your head up to face his, which was now staring at the ceiling of your bedroom.

“what’s a word that might describe the way i’m feeling right now?” he asked, you scooted up the bed, raising yourself onto your elbow to begin playing with his hair.

“i don’t know osa, you’re the only one that can answer that,” you said, and he hummed, shutting his eyes and reveling in the feeling of you toying with his hair. “if you want to know, there might be a word to describe how i’m feeling though?” you suggested, and he fluttered his eyelids open to look at you.

“of course, belladonna, what are you feeling?” he asked, a soft smile gracing his features.

“limerence,” you said, and he tilted his head in a questioning manner, not understanding the meaning since the word you had spoken was in english. you lightly chuckled, and said, “it’s an english word, meaning ‘to be infatuated or obsessed with another person,’ and i think it’s pretty fitting, don’t you?”

he smiled even brighter at you and pulled you closer to his body so that you were now laying on his chest.

“limerence, that's this moment.. in its purest form, no? that’s what i feel, at least,” he said, and you hummed in agreement, that’s all you felt in that moment while resting in his arms.

how beautiful is it that someone could make your heart beat so fast, while remembering the times when you didn’t want it to beat at all?

#dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x you #dazai osamu #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #osamu dazai #dazai fluff #dazai imagines

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chuckbass-love · 4 years ago

Note

20,39,42 with Andy Barber?

Hey, lovely anon. First of all i hope you’re doing well and second of all, i thoroughly enjoyed writing this and i hope y’all have a lot of fun reading it. It’s been a hot minute since i last wrote for Andy.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Andy Barber x Fem!Reader

Prompts Used:

20) “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are”

39) “I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use?”

42) “I guess i’ll just get off all by myself”

Warnings: Smut. Sexual intercourse, vaginal sex, spanking, daddy kink, love making (kinda), arguing, swearing, angst and a sprinkle of fluff for good measure. That’s right, used all 3. 18+ you know the drill.

Word Count: 6,796

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @cassercole go check them out💕

Do You Feel What I Feel?

After a long and interesting weekend, you’re a lot less eager to get back behind your desk to work for Andy Barber than you usually are. One reason in particular being that you’ve been dating other people behind his back. See the thing with you and Andy is that you’ve known him for 2 whole years, worked for him for 1 year and been fucking him since the evening of your very first day. He got you the job to work with him after you got laid off.

You met him after he showed up for one of your seminars at college and he gave a presentation on what it’s like to be a lawyer and you just clicked. But it was strictly platonic...until you showed up on that first day dressed in a knee length skirt, a semi sheer polka dot blouse with stockings and heels. He was shocked to say the least. You looked entirely different and he’d never seen you this way before. It turned him on and he let you know it.

As you were packing your things away and bidding him goodbye for the day, he called you back into his office and instructed you to lock the door behind you before he began to inform you of the effect you had on him. Starting slowly by telling you how he was taken aback by your ability to think on your feet, use your initiative and then just like that, it all came out and he couldn’t control his hunger much longer.

He kissed you so hard that night that the breath was knocked from your lungs but you loved it, you yearned for more of that feeling and he fucked you so good that you made it a regular thing, without even realising it was becoming one until it was too late. You’d just show up at each others places without a warning and before you knew it, he was fucking you into the mattress and making you cum with a cry of his name.

Now back to the present... you like Andy, in fact if you’re being truthful with yourself, you’ve fallen so madly in love with him that you know it’s time to quit him. He’s like a drug, an addiction and you need to stop going back for more. Hence why you decided that enough was enough.

You met a guy online, his name is Ashley and he was more than keen to take you out so you happily obliged and sure you had a nice time but there’s just one issue lying in your way. Andy is unsuspecting of your little date and it’s been eating away at you since said date walked you back to your apartment. You know that you need to tell him but you fear that it’ll cost you your job, he did hire you to help you out after all.

Before you can wallow more in your choice to keep things from him, he calls you into his office and you haven’t even gotten any work done yet, you only sat down 5 minutes ago.

What could he possibly want so early on?

“Yes, Mr Barber?” you ask flirtatiously, making him glare up at you before gesturing for you to take a seat opposite him. Which you do.

“So today i’m gonna need you to file this paper work into the data base for me” he starts, lifting up a pile taller than the length of your forearm and now you’re annoyed for real this time. He knows full well that you’re still finishing off the stack from Friday and yet here he is presenting more work for you to do “get it done by the end of the day” he finishes, flashing you another stone cold glare as he looks back down at the paper on his desk, not even bothering to acknowledge your presence for a second longer.

Until you speak up “Andy, you know i’m still finishing off Frid....”

“That’s Mr Barber to you and you can leave now” his rude and snappy interruption makes you scoff as you shake your head at the tone in his voice, he’s not in any mood today to help you out or make exceptions. So you do as you’re told, hauling the heavy pile into your arms and lugging it back to your desk outside. Once it’s on your desk, you walk back to shut his door before he asks, making sure to slam it harder than needed to make it known that you’re angry with him.

He doesn’t seem to notice or care though.

Now to get started on all of this work that’ll probably mean you staying later tonight, just brilliant. Guess your second date with Ashley will have to be rescheduled.

------------------------

You finish off half of the pile by the time it gets to 1:30pm and you’re due a lunch break round about now so seeing as though Andy hasn’t left his office all day, you decide to pop out for some food with one of the other assistants, Stacey. Thank God you don’t have to face him since you have absolutely no clue what could have possibly rattled his cage this morning to make him snap at you like that. The two of you have always had this ongoing joke of you calling him Mr Barber and he usually allows you to call him by his first name until today when that alone was enough to anger him.

It’s obvious that you’ll have to put off telling him about your date until he’s in a better place to receive the news. You’re hoping that since he’s always been opposed to commitment that he’ll take it well but the halt in your fooling around might annoy him a little. It’s not your problem though, he always knew you were planning to eventually settle down.

Upon your return to your desk you find Andy sat in your chair, looking through your work “where the hell have you been?” he mutters as he avoids your eyes “you know what, don’t even bother making excuses, my office, NOW” you jump out of fear as he raises his voice slightly at you for the first time in the whole 2 years you’ve known him. Your anxious body shuffles into his office, scared of what’s about to happen.

“Was i not clear enough earlier Y/N? Hm? Because i specifically remember asking you to have this work done by the end of the day. You get off at half 4, it’s now half 2 and you’ve only done half. Do i pay you to galavant around town with Stacey or do i pay you to do your goddam job?”

In the 2 years that you’ve known Andy, he’s also never made you cry, yet here you are trying your absolute hardest not to let these tears fall in front of him.

“You pay me to do my job and i’ve tried my best to get it done. I-I’m sorry” you stand there awkwardly, picking at the torn skin around your fingernails as you stare hopelessly at your stilettos. “Well your best isn’t fucking good enough Y/N, try harder. You can stay here until all of the paperwork is done and that includes Friday’s load too now close the door on your way out”

Is he actually serious? He can’t be, surely. What is wrong with him?

“No” you stand tall, hands on your hips as you talk back and if he was angry before then now he’s livid with you “What do you mean no?” he questions, stepping towards you, hands in his pockets as he awaits your answer.

“I said, no. Just because you’re in a bad mood for whatever reason does NOT mean that you get to stand here and humiliate me. I said no and that’s final. I’ll do my best to get today’s work done before i leave but Friday’s work can wait and i don’t care what nasty comment you have in store to throw back at me”

His face screws up as he clenches his jaw again, you should feel really scared right about now, that comment might have just cost you this job but you don’t care. If that’s the case then you’ll walk out of here proud of yourself along with one less so called friend in your life.

“Bad mood? I’m furious and you don’t even know the half of it” he picks his phone up, tapping a couple times before handing it to you and walking back to his desk to sit down. You watch the clip in his camera roll, squinting as you try to make out the faces in it and then you realise that it’s you and Ashley. Fuck. He was there that night at your apartment, he was obviously coming to see you and you didn’t even know it. He must have seen you with another man and changed his mind. You feel awful as you look back at him, he just sighs once you place the phone onto his desk.

“Andy, i-i”

“Save it. If you wanted to cut our little deal off then you shoulda just said. I don’t appreciate being lied to Y/N and i don’t fancy talking about it with you for a minute longer so just do as your fucking told and get back to work”

All you can do is turn around and walk away since you’ve done enough damage already. But all you can think about is the look on his face after you watched the incriminating clip. He looked sad, broken even and it’s replaying in your brain over and over. Torturing you.

This is why he’s been so nasty today, so demanding and harsh. He’s hurt that you lied to him, hurt that you were with someone else, even if it was just dinner. You still arranged a date with another man and went and what Andy has never wanted to admit before, not even to himself is that he really likes you. In fact no, he’s fallen madly in love with you.

Every waking moment of his life is spent with you on his mind. You even corrupt his dream world too and it’s gotten out of control. Saturday he decided it was time to cut your little deal off and start over. He was going to do it right, confess his feelings, ask you on a date and then take you out and treat you like a princess.

Ever since he laid his blue eyes on you that first time when he was doing the presentation in your class at college, he liked you. You asked so many questions, engaged a lot in the debates and he knew then that you were going to play an important role in his life. And you have. You became close friends, going out regularly and doing things like bowling and eating dinner together more than a handful of times. He enjoyed your company and you enjoyed his but there was this unspoken rule that you had to remain just friends. He wasn’t ready for anything serious and you were still not over your ex.

But then when you walked through his office door on your first day dressed in that skirt, those heels and stockings and lets not forget about that blouse. He was trying his hardest not to drool. One things for sure though, he was painfully hard for you.

When he came to your apartment Saturday and saw you outside your door with some preppy douchebag who was around your age, he felt this lump in his throat form as his heart ached. Sure he expected you to get a man eventually after all you are 24 and he’s in his 30’s. But he didn’t expect it to happen so soon. He also didn’t expect you to have such an effect on him the way you have but here he is, angry at you for moving on without telling him and angry that you aren’t his anymore.

He feels bad for shouting at you today, for being so harsh with his words. He could see the tears pooling in your eyes right away but he was too pissed off to stop and now he’s almost certain that any friendship the two of you had is gone for good thanks to his vile actions.

Another 2 hours tick by and you’re still working at your pile, you’ve still got a lot left being that he’s included Friday’s in your load too. It’s going to be a long night so you pick your phone up and call Ashley.

“Ashley hey, it’s uh, it’s Y/N. Listen, i have to work late today so i won’t be able to make it” you announce and as he responds, Andy opens his door but you don’t notice.

“Rain check? Uh...” you trail off, trying your hardest to decide if you even want to see him again. It’s like you’re torn. On one hand you have Andy, your dream man. A man who knows your body like the back of his hands and a man who can more than likely take care of you if you just took a leap and told him about your feelings but then on the other hand you have Ashley. A guy who is your age and who makes you laugh a hell of a lot. Before you can even decide though, you hear a cough behind you. It’s Andy.

“Ashley can i call you back? It’s just now’s not really a good time, i have a lot of work to get done”

You hang up the phone as your eyes are locked onto Andy’s and the moment your phone is placed back onto your desk he wraps his large hand around your wrist, lifting you up off your chair and tugging you into his office. You watch as he locks the door behind him before going back to sitting behind his desk.

“You gonna see him again?” he asks, jaw clenched.

“I-I uh, i don’t know. I’m a little torn right now” your eyes settle on his plump pink lips, wanting nothing more than to bite down on his bottom one as you sink down onto his cock but you’re dirty thoughts come to a staggering halt as he speaks. “Torn with what? You like him right?” why is he asking you these things? Is he trying to torture himself with the details.

“Yes i mean no i mean I don’t know. I like him but i don’t think i can date him”

“How come?”

“Because i like someone else, in fact i love someone else”

Andy feels his heart sink further as more cracks appear threatening to shatter it completely. You love someone else and now he’s truly out of the game.

Rage works it’s way back into his body and he can’t help but take it out on you “did you sleep with him? Huh? Did the douche bag get to fuck that tight cunt of yours?”

At first you find him funny, laughing as you look around the room, anywhere but his eyes but then your own rage sets in.

“Not that it’s any of your business but no, he didn’t. We had dinner and that’s it” you state, matter of factly as you place your hands back onto your hips..

“Bullshit”

“Is that what you really think of me Andy? You think i’d just give it up to any guy that even looked my way. Wow, i knew you were a lot of things but vicious was definitely not one of them and what’s that i smell? Is it jealousy? Surely not.” you tut, shaking your head “I don’t think i even know you at all by the looks of things if you thought lying to me was better than being honest and trust me, i’m not jealous in the slightest, in fact i pity you. It’s your sex life that will suffer” he doesn’t falter for even a second as he stares you down and just as he anticipated, you’re the first one to break, looking away from him. You can’t help the way your heart starts to race from all of the fury filling up your body. How dare he.

“I was only keeping it from you until i found the right time to tell you. And don’t you dare think for one second that just because we’ve slept together that you have any right to comment on my sex life. You made it perfectly clear that monogamy wasn’t your thing so don’t be mad when i finally want to move on from being someone’s fuck buddy” you spit, heat rising to your cheeks as you realise what you just said. Fuck.

“I’ll comment on whatever i fucking want to so quit the bitching and yeah, i don’t do commitment but i sure as hell wouldn’t be with you even if i did”

You don’t respond to him this time, there’s no quick comeback to fire his way, no insult that could mean you having the upper hand again. Nothing is left but shock and disappointment. He really said that, he really played on your biggest insecurity. He played on it and used it to his advantage, to get the upper hand and win the argument.

“What? Got nothing to say?” he snorts, smug grin on his face. Watch his smile disappear now...

“I love you, Andy” you finally get the words out and you feel as if you’re going to choke on them and die right here in his office. Cause of death, unrequited love.

“W-what?” he’s practically speechless, his words barely audible.

“I’m so madly in love with you and i have been for a while now. But i continued to shut my feelings out and reject other guys because i came to the realisation that having you in any way that i could would be enough for me even if it meant that i couldn’t have you in the way that i’ve always wanted. But none of this matters now, right? Because you’ve made it pretty clear how you feel and where you stand. You wouldn’t date me even you did date and that’s fine but at least now both our cards are on the table”

He looks up at you, using his index finger to force you to look back at him and when you do, he looks so deep into your eyes almost as if he’s attempting to see into your soul. Like he’s trying to search for any signs of dishonesty.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Instead of going out with other guys you shoulda told me and been honest about it?” is all he can say and that’s the last response you expected but what catches you off guard the most is how he said it, almost like he was hurt and relieved simultaneously.

“Andy, you’re my boss and you made it clear that you didn’t want a relationship” he has absolutely no right to lecture you about honesty when he’s spent the entire time he’s known you blabbering on about how the single life is better for him and how he’d hate to be tied down again. You roll your eyes as you move away from him when he attempts to move closer.

Silence falls upon the two of you and it seems never ending, leaving you no choice but to leave. The moment you turn around to walk away he’s on his feet too “where are you going?” the tone his voice makes it sound as though he’s pleading for you to stay without actually saying the words.

“I’m going back to my desk to do my fucking job, just like you told me to do earlier” you turn back around but just as you expected, he stops you “look. I’m sorry, okay. I was just mad that you”

“Mad about what? That i went out on a date? I’m a single woman Andy and despite our little deal, i don’t belong to you so you have no right to be mad at me for doing what any other single person does”

He bites down on his bottom lip as he runs his fingers through his perfectly styled locks, messing them up instantly “God, you’re so fucking infuriating”

“I’m infuriating? You really are clueless to your own behaviour aren’t you? I just told you that i love you and you still haven’t told me if you feel the same. So i think that says it all, don’t you?” you stop yourself before continuing your rant, trying your hardest to prevent something worse slipping out. Right now in your state, you’re bound to say things that you don’t mean and will later regret. “you know what, i think i’m gonna take the work load home and complete it there. I’ll see you tomorrow, if i still have a job that is” you raise your brows at him, praying he doesn’t fire you for your attitude alone. But to your surprise he doesn’t.

“You really think that low of me? That i’d ever fire you because of what’s going on between us outside of this office? Wow” he leans back on his desk and his shoulders drop as he slumps over, looking down at his large calloused hands.

“It’s what i assumed would happen. You’re really gonna pretend like you don’t want me gone after today?”

“I don’t, believe it or not. But i have no time to deal with this discussion any longer, i have to leave early today” he says as he goes back to sitting behind his desk again and turning his computer back on “i don’t expect you to stay any longer, you can take that work home and finish it after your date” he mutters the last few words, pulling a face as if they make him sick.

“Really? We’re back to that again. God i’ve had it with you” you spit, biting down on the inside of your cheek before strutting over to the door but his hand stops you before you even get yours on the lock.

“Let me go Andy. I don’t even want to look at you, let alone be stuck in a room with you” harsh, but in this moment it’s true. He’s done nothing but upset you all day long and even after your stupid decision to confess your love for him, he’s still doing it. You feel so defeated right now that you can’t take another second of his shit.

“Just one more thing and then you’re free to go and fuck whoever you want, whenever you want. How many guys have you been on dates with since we started hooking up?” the desperation is evident in his eyes as they pierce into yours, searching again but this time for the answers before you can even open your mouth to give them to him “one. It was only one date on Saturday night with Ashley” and that’s the truth. You would never repeatedly date behind his back, this was a one off. A one off you’re regretting more as the seconds tick by.

An awkward silence falls upon the two of you once more as he walks back over to his desk, pacing next to it and creating a draft. “Are you planning to see him again?” and he’s back with more questions. Why does he care so much?

He clearly doesn’t love you too otherwise he’d have said it once you confessed your feelings for him. Instead he left you looking like the biggest joke ever, the clown. And you feel so mortified for even believing he’d say it back.

Silly little Y/N, always catching feelings for men who don’t feel the same way back. You’re starting to feel as though you’ll never find someone.

But still his behaviour has you second guessing him. Maybe he does like you and that’s why he’s acting so hurt.

“Maybe i will, after all i am single. That shouldn’t be a problem, should it Andy?” you know full well that you’re pushing down hard on his buttons and you can see his cheeks turn red as his knuckles turn white from his tight grip on the side of the table.

“What you don’t like that? You don’t like the thought of me on top of Ashley, sinking down onto his cock as he touches my body and kis -”

Out of nowhere he interrupts you, slamming his fist down onto his desk “dammit, Y/N, what is it with you? Trying to make me jealous? Because i’ve had just about enough of you running your mouth” he pulls one of the chairs out, falling into it and spreading his legs “In fact. I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use? Huh? Maybe then you’ll shut up about that fucking douche bag” he is jealous, it’s so obvious to you now. He’s jealous of Ashley, jealous of the possibility of him spending time with you and he hates the thought of someone stealing you away from his tight grasp.

You can’t quite believe your ears or your eyes as he spreads his legs further, grazing his hand over the tent in his dress trousers and you can’t help the gulp that follows.

“Andy”

“Shhh, enough talking. I don’t have it in me anymore to argue with you, just come here” he insists but you stand your ground “no. i can’t keep going round and round in circles with you with absolutely no end in sight and with no hope for you to reciprocate how i feel. I’m sorry but i’m leaving”

Yet again, as expected, he clears his throat “fine. I guess i’ll just get off all by myself”

Like they always do around Andy, your legs turn to jelly and your eyes glaze over along with your better judgement being clouded by x rated thoughts of him railing you. The idea of him touching himself, working his hand expertly around his girthy cock causes arousal to flood your panties. How dare your body betray you like this. How dare your mind do the same. It’s not fair that every time you think you have the upper hand and the dominance, he comes along, snatching it away from you and proving you wrong.

You have absolutely no idea why you’re about to do what you’re about to do other than the fact that your body gravitates toward him like a magnet and it’s out of your control.

So without a second longer to fester or overthink, you spin around on your heels, charging towards him. Andy watches in awe as you drop to your knees and make quick work of his belt. Once you free his cock from the confines of his black Calvin Kleins and into your small hand you spot the droplets of precum oozing out of the slit on his red bulbous head. You look up at him through your eyelashes, batting them as you give the tip a couple of kitten licks before spitting all over his shaft and pumping him agonisingly slow.

“Fuck” he groans, rolling his eyes back as he grips the arm rests on the chair when you take him into your mouth “attagirl, sucking daddy’s cock like a fucking pro” his hands grip your face as he continues to watch you go to work, making a mess of yourself as you gag around him,

You don’t bother to issue a warning before taking all of him in your mouth, all the way down to his balls over and over. Making sure to hollow out your cheeks as you bob your head up and down, your tongue licking the underside of him as your hands grasp his balls. He starts bucking his hips up, attempting to fuck your mouth but you push him back down as a whole batch of unholy sounds that only you can elicit from him fall from his perfect lips, the sounds that are so loud and downright filthy that he has no option but to cover his mouth with his hand, biting down one of his thick digits to keep from exposing himself to his unsuspecting colleagues outside.

He soon pulls you off and you do so with a pop. He forces you to look up at him, his hand grabbing your cheeks and squeezing aggressively “no matter what undeserving boys you go out on a date with, no matter who flirts with you. You’re mine, always have been and always will be” he moves you to straddle his lap before he stands up to move the two of you to the couch.

“So no more dates princess, no more other guys. Because i’m the only one who gets to have you. Is that clear?” he cocks his brow up at you and you nod in response before mumbling a quick “yes” to satisfy his need for confirmation and assurance.

He lifts your knee length dress up to your stomach before he gets to touching you, squeezing at your ass cheeks a little too hard for your liking but you secretly love the way he gets so rough with your body, the way he smacks both ass cheeks repeatedly until you wince from how sore he’s made you.

“God, these clothes drive me crazy. Ever since that first day i met you, i’ve wanted you and when you started working here, i was so desperate to fuck you as you wore these stockings and these heels. You’re so fucking hot, princess and you have no idea how crazy you drive me when you bend over, shoving this ass in my face”

He starts to kiss your neck, sloppy open mouthed kisses on the spot that has your back arching as you grip onto the back of his neck to steady yourself. He’s working you up all the more, turning the pool in your panties into a river. You’re dripping wet for him, desperate for him to just fuck your greedy pussy, desperate to clench down around his cock as he pounds into you.

“You’ve done it before Andy. Many times in fact”

His kisses halt as he smirks at you, that devilish look in his eyes. It always drives you wild “do it again, please, i need it” you beg pathetically and much to your surprise, he does exactly that. He takes your panties, tugging them to the side and playing with your soaked core a little as well as touching your bundle of nerves. You whine into the crook of his neck as you urge him to hurry before he eventually pulls his pants further down his legs to position himself at your entrance better. You don’t even have time to breathe before he’s knocking the air from your lungs as he fucks himself to the hilt inside of you.

The way his pace continues to pick up until it’s rendering on animalistic is causing you to let out the loudest and sexiest sounds, it’s like music to his ears but he can’t have anyone hearing this. He flips the two of you over so that you’re below him, your legs pushed back to your head and you hold them in place. His hand covers your mouth as he slides himself back in, not making any effort to start slow “you’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are” he continues with rough snaps of his hips as he fucks into you with reckless abandon and causing the sweet music you make to vibrate onto his hand.

“Yeah, like this? Like the way i fuck this pretty little cunt?”

Thrust

“Bet his cock couldn’t even touch what mine does to you, the way you cry out for more and scream my name every time. The way i can make you cum with just my words and my fingers. God, such a dirty little girl for me, ain’t that right, princess?”

Satisfied hums follow his questions along with a frantic nod as you feel the coil tightening in your stomach, like a knot twisting and pulling, you’re so unbelievably close that you can almost taste the impending orgasm. “Don’t make a fucking sound when i move my hand, okay?” again you nod in response and he moves his hand, smiling down at you with adoration in his eyes before moving his hand to your aching sex. His fingers pressing down onto your bundle of nerves, rubbing firm circles on it and as soon as your walls flutter around him, he knows your close.

“Gonna cum, huh? Gonna make a mess all over my cock? My filthy girl, go on baby, cream all over me”

Just like that, along with his permission you let everything go, allowing yourself to really feel the pleasure. Your walls flutter around him again and again and each time he pulls out of you he spots your juices as they cover his cock beautifully. The sight alone has his hips snapping harder, the sound of his skin slapping against yours bounces off of the walls in his office and you accidentally let out a lewd moan that he swallows with his kiss as you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer “cum for me daddy” your encouragement sends his entire world spinning as his thrusts stagger.

His cock jolts inside of you, twitching like crazy before his cream fills you up deliciously, painting your walls in thick ropes. You arch your back as your arms wrap around his neck. You need to feel his lips on yours.

He kisses you so hard that your teeth clash, making the two of you chuckle into each others mouths before attempting again. This time his tongue forces it’s way past your lips, battling with yours as he rides the two of you through your dramatic and intense highs.

Once his hips still and he pulls out, he flops down next to you. The two of you are nothing but a panting mess. Chests rising and falling along with your erratic heart beats.

“I love you too” he confesses, making you gasp as you turn your head to look at his spent body, the way his eyes meet yours and tears pool in them has your eyes doing the same.

“Andy”

“I’m not finished. I’ve felt this connection with you since the day i first met you, it caught me completely off guard. When we made the deal for it to be just friends, i was upset. I wanted a lot more but i know i wasn’t ready just yet. But the way you’d draw out laughter from me that no one else has ever been able to and the way you’d boss me around only made my feelings grow. Then we fucked and it was like confirmation to me that i was well and truly screwed. But i kept coming back for more because it was like an addiction, i had to have you in any way that was possible and if sex was the only way then i’d have stayed single forever just to keep you close. I’d have done anything to be able to hold your body and kiss your neck and make you feel good. If doing that as just your fuck buddy was the only way then so be it. But i got to a point where just fucking you wasn’t enough. I wanted something real with you. So on Saturday-” before he can even finish you sigh, sitting up.

“You came to tell me how you felt? Andy, why didn’t you just say that earlier?” you don’t know how to feel right now. You’re so consumed by emotions that your head is spinning. One one hand you’re angry, annoyed and upset that he kept this from you and didn’t just tell you he felt the same when you confessed how you felt. But then on the other hand you’re relieved and happy that he does feel the same. This was never some unrequited love, it’s always been reciprocated and real.

All the lingering stares you’d catch, all of the compliments thrown your way and the insults hurled at random guys who’d ogle you whenever you were out in public with him or whenever another guy at work would take an interest.

“I saw you with that guy Y/N and i broke down. Then today, i expected you to come in and talk to me about it but instead you sat down at your desk, acted normal and didn’t say a word. I was hurt that you’d keep this from me. I know we both felt these things and i know both of us were unaware of the feelings being reciprocated but you still didn’t tell me you’d even thought about seeing other people and i guess i just expected more from you, more honesty”

He’s right. You don’t have it in you to argue because he’s right. He might have had his reasons for hiding his true feelings but you hid your date from him and that’s a lot worse. How was he supposed to just come out with it when all he could think of was you with Ashley.

“You’re right. I was wrong, i didn’t even think about the effect it would have and i was selfish. To tell you the truth i only went out with that guy because i was trying to move on from you, i didn’t want to keep feeling this strongly with no possibility of you feeling the same so i did the first thing i knew to do, date some other guy”

Andy can’t say he isn’t relieved to hear you admit that preppy college boy means nothing to you but it’s bitter sweet, you saying that you thought your feelings were one sided so you wanted to move on to avoid getting hurt further makes him hurt too. You’ve always meant more to him than just some friendship or some steamy sex. You’re the first woman he’s even looked twice at since Laurie and that means a whole lot more than you’ll ever know or understand.

“So what now?” you ask, puppy dog eyes showing as you await his response.

“I know it’s a bit backwards but how about a date tomorrow?”

God, he really is so handsome, so sweet. His deep and raspy chuckles make you giggle along with him as you straddle him once again, crashing your lips to his, his beard scratching at your face just the way you like.

He pulls away for a second “is that a yes?” once more you shake your head, tutting at him “a thousand times yes, Mr Barber. Yes i’ll go out with you” he wraps his arms around you as he pulls you flush against his suit clad torso, kissing you eagerly and smiling into it. He finally got the girl.

---------------------------------

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keep-the-wolves-close · 11 months ago

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Steady Heart

Chapter 8: The Hand That Feeds

Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

* Warnings: language, some brief violence between Rip and Kayce, I think this chapter is pretty tame?

* Word count: 3,498ish

Author's note: I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well! 💛🤓

The morning was cold. Fog stretched across the pastures and mountains in every direction as far as the eye could see. It was very early and Stella had just gotten to the ranch. She wanted to start her day out with Abigail. It was easy like Sunday morning with her girl. They would go out riding around and when the sun came up a little bit higher, she would come back and actually start her day job. ‘Whatever it is now.’ She sighed and shook her head.

She shivered from the cold as she walked out of the refuge the barn offered. She zipped her dark green jacket up as high as it would go. Hearing footsteps not far away, she fixed her glasses and gazed around trying to find who else was getting an early start.

Stella was pleasantly surprised when she saw that the person the footsteps belonged to was Kayce. He had his head tucked down against his chest, shielding himself from the cold, his hands buried in his pockets.

Stella greeted him softly while fixing her ball cap backwards. “Hi you.”

Kayce’s head shot up. He didn't expect there to be anyone out here yet. He wanted to clear his head from the disagreement between him and Monica last night. Seeing Stella made him relax. He knew there wouldn’t be many questions, there wouldn’t be judgment. If there was, she always asked for clarification before making any final decisions. If it would have been any of the men, he would have thought twice. They could be worse at gossiping. Like a bunch of old ladies at the hair salon on Main Street.

He stopped just before her. “Hey.” He took a beat. “What’re you doin’?”

“I was gonna go on a ride before I started my actual work day.” Stella smiled. “What’re you doin’? I thought you would have been back at the cabin.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, yeah. Just wanted to clear my head this morning.”

“Oh,” she dragged the syllable out. “So how did the lover’s getaway go?” She wiggled her eyebrows at him with a smirk.

“More like a break for the parents.”

Stella nodded. “Well I mean fair. You both have had a lot happen in a short amount of time. You are more than deserving of a break.”

“Yeah.”

The silence became heavy. Stella checked her saddle, and side-eyed Kayce. “Why were you comin’ up here instead of spending the mornin’ in bed with your wife?” She faced him and leaned against Abigail. The mare shifted onto the leg closest to Stella and caused her to stumble forward. She caught herself and stood up fully again and side-eyed her horse. Abigail let out a low neigh that sounded like she was chuckling. Stella glared at her for a second before looking back to Kayce. “I know you didn’t come here to see lil’ ol’ clumsy me.”

He laughed quietly and challenged her. “Who says I didn’t?”

They made eye contact. Stella immediately looked away. “Kayce, you and I both know that ain’t true.”

“Okay, fine, you got me. I was comin’ down to take Tank out. See how he does outside of the ring, but also clear my head.”

“Do you want me to wait for ya?”

“Nah you go. You’ve got actual work to get to after.”

Stella ignored the small pang of disappointment and covered it with humor. “Well, some of us do have to work around here. But if I see ya, I’ll see ya.” She stepped up into her saddle. Abigail shifted forward ready to go. “Be safe okay?”

Kayce bobbed his head. “I should be saying that to you.”

“Oh pfft, I’m not the one that could find trouble in a paper bag.”

“No, you’d just be the one tagging along with the one who found it.” Kayce meant himself.

Stella belly laughed. “Alright, cowboy. I’ll see ya later.”

Abigail and Stella free galloped along for a good while. The sun was finally up and the cold didn’t bite as badly now. She let out a long sigh and sat back in her saddle as they came to a stop. There was something about the quiet out here that gave her peace.

She thought back to how Kayce sounded when he mentioned him and Monica. Yes, they needed a break. However, there was an underlying tone of annoyance. That couldn’t be good. She hoped that he had taken her advice and talked to Monica.

There were hoofbeats coming up behind her that broke her out of her thoughts. She legged Abigail to make her turn around to face the oncoming intruder of the peace.

Stella smiled fondly. “Well would ya look at what the cat dragged in.”

Rip laughed as he trotted up beside her. “Oh you can go straight to hell, Miss Stella-belle.”

“You love me, good sir, and you know it.” Stella shoved his arm playfully.

“Is that right now?”

“Mmhmm. Yes sir it is. I dare anyone to prove me different.”

Rip questioned her. “What’re you doin’ all the way out here?”

“Clearing my head before my day starts. What are you doin’?”

Rip glanced around at the surrounding tree line. “Lookin’ for a bear that your brother and Jimmy said they saw nearby.”

“These bears are gettin’ big in their britches, ain’t they?”

“Uncomfortably so.”

“You think it’s from redirecting that river?” She asked.

Rip paused and observed her. “You knew about that?”

Stella made a face at the foreman. “How could I not?”

“You weren’t home then. You were at Grand Springs at the time.”

“You think I don’t hear things? Especially after everything that’s happened around me hearing things in the last week?” She raised her eyebrows. In realness, she and Jimmy had spoken about it. She wasn’t going to throw him to the wolf of the Yellowstone known as Rip Wheeler, though.

“Fair.”

Stella threw in a defense for the newest ranch member. “Speaking of Jimmy, y’all have got to give him a break. He’s tryin’.”

“Not hard enough.”

“Rip…,” Stella let the syllable drag out. “He got thrown into the lion’s den. With no one to care or help. Y’all just expect him to know these things, but he’s never lived this before. Lloyd has faith in him, so I do too.”

“You got a thing for our resident dipshit?”

“What? Good lord, no. There’s just something endearing about him.” Abigail turned herself around, unprompted. “Uh okay, we’re facing this way now.” Stella frowned at the motion because normally Abigail didn’t shift much, that big of a shift anyhow. Stella fixed her glasses on her nose as she examined the mare’s body language.

The bay roan’s ears were perked forward in the direction of the stream that ran through the one side of the pasture they were in. Abigail’s nostrils flared as she smelled the wind which caused her to snort loudly when she let the breath out. She danced on her hooves and Stella could swear she heard a horse neigh in distress.

Stella legged Abigail forward to the top of the small hill. Rip slowly trotted behind. She spotted Kayce, horseless, and waving his hat. He yelled and tried to make himself look big. Her eyes darted to the trees where he was facing and she detected the bear making its way downtown hot and fast to Kayce. She heard Kayce yell and kicked Abigail into action. “Damn it all to hell!” She cussed to herself.

Rip sighed. “Found that bear.” He grabbed his shotgun out of its holster, and kicked his horse into gear.

Stella pushed Abigail to gallop as fast as she could. She kept an eye on the bear, and it was closer than she was. “Fuck!” She kicked Abigail again in a plea to open her legs up and fly. She adjusted her glasses again before she would lose her chance and her glasses.

As soon as she was within ear shot, she hollered. “Kayce! On your left!” His head snapped to her and he reached out in her direction. She rushed up on his side, braced herself in her saddle, and shot her right arm out for him. Their arms slammed against one other. With Abigail’s momentum, and Stella’s pull, Kayce swung himself up onto the mare’s hind end. Abigail quickly turned them away from the bear and they heard the gunshot from Rip.

Kayce slammed against her back as he landed fully on Abigail’s hind end. Stella let out an oomf and lurched forward. They galloped back to where Rip stood, and Stella brought Abigail to a stop. Kayce hopped off and Rip started to give him a hard time.

“You could get in trouble in a church.” He taunted Kayce and trotted up to him standing on the ground. “You stood your ground, though. For once.”

“I ain't used to seeing you off my dad's leash.” Stella’s eyebrows raised at Kayce’s comment.

“Guys, not today, please?” Stella tried to steer away the fight she could see brewing.

Rip ignored Stella and dared Kayce to say it again. “What's that?”

Kayce panted, trying to catch his breath. “I didn't stutter.”

Rip hopped off his horse and charged at Kayce. “Go ahead. Come on. Go ahead.” He challenged him. They traded blows fast and Rip was able to get the upper hand.

Stella jumped off Abigail and hurried to put herself in the middle of the men. There had always been animosity between them, and it had only come to blows a time or two. She grappled her way in between them. Kayce’s arm made her hat fly off her head. “Hey hey! Knock it the hell off! Put your dicks away!” Rip’s fist grazed by her face unintentionally, and she jerked her head back to avoid the blow.

Kayce tugged Stella back farther and threw one last solid punch to Rip’s face. “Watch your fuckin’ hands!”

Stella pushed the men apart as hard as she could. “Knock it off!” She stood there and panted. “Y’all are being absolutely ridiculous!” She pushed her eyewear up her nose. Bending down, Stella snatched her hat aggressively off the ground.

“You still can't take a punch, though.” Rip goaded as he got up on his horse. “She would’ve taken it better than you did.”

Kayce asked him. “Where the fuck you going?”

“Ah, there's work to be done. You know what work is, don't you?” Rip turned his horse, which Stella could tell the horse sensed the agitation. “Course you don't. You got your wife for that.” He placed the rifle back in its holster. “By the way, welcome home.” Galloping off left the pair standing there still trying to catch their breath.

“Good lord, Kayce. What’s the deal?”

“You know what the deal is.”

“With the hostility between y’all? Yes.” She walked over to Abigail, surprised she was still here, and grabbed her split reins. “But you knowingly responded with fightin’ words instead of saying thank you, you ass.”

“If I say thank you to anyone, it would be you. You got me away from the bear.”

Stella tapped Abigail to walk toward him so she didn’t have to shout. “Yeah, but he got the bear away from us. For the second time in our lives.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” He admitted sourly.

She held her hand out to him and took her one foot out of its stirrup so he had a leg up. “Well c’mon. Hop up. Let’s see if we can find your horse. I doubt Rip is gonna try.”

He climbed up and settled onto Abigail, just behind the saddle. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but he could make it work. Stella stiffened her back and tried to lean forward as far as possible. She didn’t want to be all up in Kayce’s face. Although, if he wanted to stay on using more than just his legs, he had to put his hands on her waist. She took a deep breath to clear the fog that draped itself over her.

Kayce leaned forward a bit. “Is that okay?” He didn’t want to be in the way of her range of movement.

She shook her head. “Yeah, that’s fine. If I need you to move, I’ll let ya know.” Sighing, she nudged Abigail into a trot. With every bump her stomach hit the horn of her saddle. She groaned every so often and Kayce caught onto her discomfort.

“Stella, why are you so far forward?”

“Because I don’t want to be in your face?” She questioned like it was obvious.

Kayce placed himself directly against her back, and leaned forward. There were confused noises that came from Stella. She struggled to get out her question. “Kayce what the hell are you doing?!” His arms grabbed her hands that held the reins and pulled the mare to a halt.

“That’s what I’m doin’.” He tapped the bill of her backwards ball cap and sat back up straight. She turned her head as far as she could to look at him.

“Do you want down or something?”

“No. I want you to sit in your seat.” His voice reminded her of when he was teaching her some maneuver when they were younger. It was just deeper now. “You’re the one controlling the horse, not me. Since when have you ever worried about personal space with me?” He paused for a few seconds. “Ever?”

Stella let out a heavy huff. She leaned back to sit naturally. Feeling Kayce’s chest meet her mid back made her tense up again. He gripped her waist and forced her to sit deep in her saddle.

“You’re fine Stella. Let’s get a move on.” His voice echoed behind her ear. It caused goosebumps to bloom on her arms. She blamed it on the cold.

She shook her head and cleared the cobwebs. Nudging Abigail again, she and Kayce settled into her floaty lope. That mustang was probably halfway to Wyoming at this point. Stella would have believed that, but she spotted Rip leaning against a tree with Tank next to him.

“Well I’ll be damned…,” she trailed off quietly. In shock that Rip actually caught the mustang for them at all.

Kayce slid off Stella’s horse quickly. “Wanna go again? Let's go.”

Stella and Rip started to speak at the same time.

“Oh my fucking god Kayce —,”

“— No, no, no. I think we got it out of our system. For now.” Rip stopped Stella from scolding them.

Stella condescended both of the men, pissed she’d been ignored this whole time. “Did you really? You fuckin’ twelve year olds?”

Rip left her condescension unnoticed. “My job is to protect this family, and you are the worst thing for it.” He pointed at Stella. “For her.”

He walked up to Kayce and got in his face. “You made your choice, Kayce. Now you stand by it. Don't come back now. You wanna do something for your father? For Stella? You do that.”

He passed Kayce and Stella by, and got on his horse again. “'Cause I'll be honest with you, I'm getting tired of burying your secrets.”

He pinned Stella with his gaze. “And I’m tired of pulling you outta the shit he puts you in. I don’t want you to be the thing I have to bury next.”

Stella screwed up her face at Rip’s admission. ‘What the hell is he talking about?’

Stella questioned him angrily. “What the fuck does that even mean? Bury next?” She looked to Kayce as if he had an answer, but then fixed her ire on Rip. “Are you trying to say you think I make bad decisions, or are you threatening me?” She would be damned if she’d let him do that. “You know I’ve always had his back! And yours!”

Rip fired back. “I’m not threatening you, but stop and look at all the bullshit you’ve gotten into by being near him!”

“What? A couple of scars, and a place of my own? I fail to see how that’s bad!” She volleyed back.

Rip rolled his eyes at her behind his sunglasses. He knew her blindness to Kayce was detrimental and it would be like arguing with a wall. Especially if her mind was made up. And in the case of Kayce, it always was. He readjusted in his saddle with a groan. “Okay, Stella.” He sucked his teeth. “I want you to truly think about that. You’ll see.” Rip took off without leaving any more room for argument.

Stella watched Kayce pull what appeared to be a blue folder out of the shovel handle of the shovel that Rip had stabbed in the ground and open it. She stood there looking at the ground as she tried to figure out just what the hell Rip meant. She stepped up into her saddle. When Kayce heard Stella and Abigail come up behind him, he folded it and shoved it in his pocket.

“What was that?”

He said harshly. “You don’t need to know.” Rips words echoed loudly in his mind. ‘You're the worst thing for this family. For her.’

She frowned at the unexpected attitude. ‘It was just a question. Damn.’

She sassed back. “Okay then. I’m gonna go.” She exhaled loudly. “Don’t try to fight anymore bears, I guess.”

Not waiting for him to answer, Stella made Abigail transition from trot to canter quickly. She felt bad for leaving him there, but he had his horse again. He would be fine. He obviously didn’t want her there, so she would go find something to do with the wranglers.

The second Ryan saw Stella coming down the hill on Abigail, he could feel in his bones that something was wrong. He tapped Colby on the shoulder. “I’ll be right back,” he told him as he trotted to meet Stella off to the side.

She came to a slow stop as her brother came up to her. They made eye contact, but then Stella looked off to her left in Rip’s direction. She rolled her eyes and Ryan motioned for her to follow him.

They trotted around to the side of the barn where her car was parked near the bunkhouse. “So what’s going on? What happened with Rip?” He pulled the bandaid off and asked.

The words tumbled out of Stella’s mouth. “I had gone out by myself for my normal morning ride. I came across Rip, then he and I ran into Kayce about to be eaten by a bear, probably that bear you and Jimmy saw. I went to save Kayce and Rip scared it away. The guys ended up getting into it, and then Rip said something about how it was his job to protect the family and Kayce was the worst thing for it and for me. How he was tired of burying Kayce’s secrets and pulling me outta the bullshit Kayce drags me into and I should choose better to not stand by him.”

“Woah slow down. What bullshit has Kayce gotten you into now?”

“None! I don’t even know what Rip meant!” Stella shouted. “I’ve always backed Kayce. Everyone knows that!”

“We all know you’re both a package deal. I think Rip is just in a sour mood. Whatever fight they got in, I don’t think you had anything to do with it. You just got caught at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Yeah well it’s really irritating to be told I shouldn’t be friends with my best friend.” She huffed harshly, annoyed that sounded like a child. “That I make bad decisions.”

“Don’t let him get to you —,” Ryan would have finished his sentence, but the siblings saw Kayce race from the cabin up to his father’s house on Tank.

Stella and Ryan shared a quick look. He waved her on. She hurried Abigail to catch up. The wind whipped through the hair that had fallen out of her ponytail.

“Kayce! What’s wrong?!”

“Monica’s hurt! I gotta go!”

“Shit!” She followed him up to the house with lightning speed. He immediately slid off Tank and ran inside to find his dad.

Stella hopped down from Abigail. Tank chuffed when Stella’s hand touched his side. “Hey, buddy. It’s just me. We’re gonna go back to the barn okay?” Her head snapped up when the two men raced out of the house.

Kayce started to say, “Stella will you —,” but she interrupted.

“— I’ll take care of him. Let me know if you need anything okay?” Kayce nodded his thanks and hopped in the truck.

John called out to her. “Stella?”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna speak with you when I get back, so stick around.” He spoke quickly as he jumped in the driver's seat. The truck took off without giving her time to answer. Stella breathed out heavily and turned to find both horses staring at her.

“What? I’m not in trouble this time.” She hopped up on Abigail and grabbed Tank's reins with her right hand. “At least I don’t think I am.”

#yellowstone #kayce dutton #yellowstonetv #luke grimes #ian bohen #ryan #kayce dutton fan fiction #yellowstone fanfic #yellowstone fanfiction #kayce dutton fanfic #ryan yellowstone #rip wheeler

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theepisceswriter · 4 years ago

Text

Jealous!Reader with AOT characters pt.2 (Porco, Bertholdt, Pieck, Zeke)

A/N: y’all really liked the first one I made here, so here’s a pt.2 with different characters

TW: none really apply, sort of suggestive for Zeke, Modern AU, GN!reader

PORCO GALLIARD

I am a firm believer that in a modern AU, Porco and Reiner would be the type of people to go to sport restaurants like Hooters, Buffalo Wild Wings, or Twin Peaks. They give me that macho man type of vibe. Of course though, Porco would make you tag along with him almost every time he went. He feels that it’s a very nice way for the two of you to bond. Which honestly it is.

You have a deep sense of security within yourself and enough trust in Porco to not be bothered by the waitresses there, as you should, knowing that it’s only their job to be enticing like that. Hell, you even enjoy it when the waitresses would flirt with you sometimes or you’d get the really pretty ones who look like they’re straight off of a magazine. Not to mention that you visit places like this often, so most of them know you and know that you and Porco are in a relationship together.

They all respect your boundaries and don’t try to push at them at all.....until this one waitress comes around. You can quite obviously tell that her flirting is different from the “trained” flirting that the other girls often do. She lingers at your table a little longer than she should be trying to talk to Porco to the point where other waitresses have to tell her to go check on other tables and she’s disregarding you completely, asking Porco questions that should be aimed at you and being very rude in general.

Porco is hardly paying her any mind, too focused on the game to really pay attention to what’s going on, but any piece of attention he gives to her she latches on too it. But still, you remain cordial and calm on the inside. Not wanting to come off as one of those significant others and cause a scene that doesn’t need to be caused. If someone looked at you for too long they might notice an eye twitch or two coming from you.

Really it’s Porco’s hand holding underneath the table that’s keeping you sane and reminding you of how secure your position in your relationship is. You almost calm down entirely, but of course the waitress has to come back and try desperately to get his attention again. At one point he zones out into the game and to try and get his attention she attempts to tap him on his shoulder.

Strong on the attempt because you grabbed her wrist before she could even brush her fingers against his shirt and gave her a stern “Aht! Aht! That is not going to be happening tonight and definitely not in front of me.”

And Porco, this menace to society, finally speaks up like, “I was wondering when you were finally going to say something. I was getting afraid that I didn’t mean anything to you anymore.” He would’ve eventually intervened himself though if she was actually successful in touching him.

The waitress gets the hint for the rest of the night, but just incase she doesn’t he holds you close to his side with his arm draped over your shoulders.

BERTHOLDT HOOVER

Despite his soft spoken nature and personality that sometimes falls on the shy part of the spectrum, Bertholdt is actually an easy person to come up to and start a conversation with. Of course, you have to be the one to start the conversation, but after that it’s like he can’t shut up, likes he’s compelled to answer back to everything and keep a conversation going.

It’s a trait of his that you’ve come to love, but also come to hate on days when you’re out in public with him and can just see the twinkle in a girl’s eyes when she’s getting ready to come over to him to flirt. It’s usually in awkward situations too like when you’re out shopping and he’s standing off to the side because he has no business looking at what you’re shopping for, so the fact that he’s kind of alienated from you and doesn’t know how to respond to flirting all that well in the first place really has him in an awkward chokehold.

He’ll get asked for his number and instead of saying flat out no, because he doesn’t want to be harsh, he struggles to let words out at all as he tries to think of what to say. And people really prey on his shyness and don’t even give him the chance to respond before they’re forcing themselves on him more, handing their phone out to him just waiting to input a number.

Imagine the shock and anger on your face when you turn around from your shopping happy ready to show Bertholdt what you got and instead you see a girl trying to get his number! You’re over there in an instant, legs carrying you as fast as they can and a scold on your face as you go over there and the first thing you do is push that phone as far away from him as you can.

“I know my BOYFRIEND and something tells me that he is not interested in the direction this conversation is going with you whatsoever, so I suggest you leave him alone before I make you 😤” The girl leaves like immediately after that.

Bert is just behind you the whole time with a ☺️ look on his face like “Yes, that is indeed my significant other!” Which is so funny because he’s like 6’3 and towering over you, but you’re the feisty one!

He does feel kinda guilty for not cutting off the interaction before it got that far, so he wraps his arms around you and nuzzle his face into your neck all like, “I’m sorry baby 🥺🥺 you know I don’t like anyone else but you 🥺🥺 I was trying to tell them no thank you but it wouldn’t come out 🥺🥺”

You couldn’t stay mad at him even if you wanted to, that’s all it takes for you to forget about it altogether.

PIECK FINGER

It’s almost impossible to see someone as fine looking as Pieck and not shoot your shot. If I saw Pieck out in public the first thing I would do is shoot my shot.

It happens allll the time whenever you two go out. Out at the mall shopping for clothes? Someone’s going to come up to you two and try to hit on Pieck. At the club minding each other’s business and trying to have a good time? Some guy is going to come over and try to ruin that for you too.

At first it was like a bragging rights thing for you. Everyone noticed your hot girlfriend was hot but you were the one who went home to her everyday and not them, but at some point it switched from a bragging right to down right annoying. It’s like you can’t leave her alone for more than a couple of seconds because here comes someone breathing down her neck being a weirdo!

Poor Pieck doesn’t even know what’s going on half of the time because she be baked out of her mind, thinking about nothing but how some ruffles and ice cream can really hit right now. So she’s just going along with the conversation like “mhm, yeah ☺️” every ten seconds hoping that they’d get the hint that she’s not thinking about them at all and to leave her alone. But, of course, they don’t.

Her body language becomes stressed out and agitated, not knowing what to do because you’re in the gas station buying snacks for the two of you while she’s far away at the gas pumps doing her best to get an ending with this weirdo where they don’t kidnap her.

Luckily, just on time you exit out the gas station and even before you get any closer to Pieck you’re already pissed off at the fact that someone is probably hitting on her, but after you see her do that awkward little shuffle with her feet signifying that she’s uncomfortable? You’re over there in a heartbeat.

See, maybe you would’ve been a bit nicer if her body language didn’t tell you that they had been pestering her for a while despite how everything about her screamed ‘not interested.’

So what do you do? You take the bottle of sprite you bought and bop them on the head with it. Head empty no thoughts just ‘protect my stoner girlfriend.’

Pieck is so messy too, she’s in the background like “Ohhhhh shit *giggle* fight! Fight! Fight!” You were ready to rumble too, but if you were so ready to hit them in the head with a sprite bottle the other person definitely didn’t want to know what else you were confident with doing. So they recuperated from their sprite bottle hit and went running to their car.

This was a proud girlfriend moment for Pieck the whole drive home. She could not stop talking about how much of a badass you were and how she loved that you would do anything for her.

ZEKE JAEGER

I wrote soft Zeke already, so now it’s time for me to give y’all the menace Zeke y’all have been waiting for.

Zeke is the type of significant other who’s big on teasing and messing with his partner is general. There’s something about seeing them all flustered after he does something to embarrass them, like fake propose to them in public or something, that really cracks him up. That being said, he’s not opposed to flirting with someone in front of you to get you riled up and see your reaction.

Let’s set the scene; He drags you to Sam Ash with him, because we’ve all just collectively decided that modern day Zeke is a music pretentious asshole, to go get something for his guitar or at least that’s what you assume he was complaining about. You weren’t even listening, just excited to go and mess with the drums and guitars there. It’s the first thing you do once you get there and Zeke sees this as his opportunity to finally mess with you.

He goes over to the drum set display you’re playing on and calls over and employee with “inquiries” about the set you’re playing on. He pretends to ask a few genuine questions at first but eventually he’s able to get the conversation to shift to something a little more personal. Which isn’t terrible, but once he starts throwing out lines like “Oh you like (said band)? I’ve always found myself gravitating towards people who like them. They’re always the most attractive people, I’ve found 😏.” Is when you start getting agitated.

You’re just trying to play We Will Rock You on the drums and here he goes killing your vibe immensely. And it’s hard to ignore when they’re standing right on the side of you. Not to mention how the employee is eating all of this up, blushing and all. It’s at the first mention of numbers being exchanged that you’ve decided you’ve had enough. Without a word to Zeke you get up and storm out of the store.

Was this a dick move on his end? Absolutely, but you’re a couple who’s relationship is filled with debating and bickering, bickering especially, so part of him thought you would play along with his little game and be like “Whatever. I don’t care.” But instead, you were genuinely upset. You didn’t even know where you were going but you were going somewhere. And that somewhere was the outside of the Sam Ash store because you realized you really didn’t have a choice.

Sorry guys, but I have to switch over to soft Zeke now.

He comes running after you, “y/n! Y/n it was a joke!” But that just makes you even more mad and oops, a year drops down your face and he feels terrible.

Kisses all over your face, words of assurance spilling out his lips, and a tight ass beat hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m such a dick I know. I didn’t mean to make you this upset though.” He would get down on his knees if he had to!

I guess you can forgive him just this once, but only on the terms that you get Sub!Zeke tonight and get to act as a pillow princess/prince cause he has a lot of making up to do.

#sorry if there are any typos i was kinda rushing #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #porco galliard x reader #bertholdt hoover x reader #pieck finger x reader #zeke yeager x reader #zeke jaeger x reader #aot imagines

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