#I hope my roly polys phase returns

[renthesilliestbeing]

For the remaining RPNNY fans on Tumblr

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment Is All We Are (33/?)

“Good.”

Kunikida walked around me, his gray-green eyes sweeping over my body as he took in my form.

“That’s right, Kusunoki. Keep your shoulders squared. Just like that.”

He kept circling me, his eyes traveling from my shoulders to my arms as I moved to adjust my stance. When he came to my right elbow, he paused, the neutral line of his lips dropping into a thoughtful frown as his gaze settled on my right hand.

“Kusunoki...”

I swallowed nervously.

“Y-yes?”

I felt the heat of a faint blush rising to my cheeks as he came a little closer. One large hand settled warmly on mine.

“Make sure to keep your thumb tucked under your fingers when you’re making a fist,” Kunikida said, gently taking my hand and folding my thumb into the correct position.

“If you don’t, you’ll break your thumb when you land the punch.”

“Right...”

I swallowed thickly, my mouth suddenly too dry to form the words.

“Thank you, Kunikida-san.”

Kunikida smiled.

“Of course.”

He released my hand and took a step back.

“Now then.”

He pointed his finger at the mannequin in front of me, which was actually just a large inflatable roly-poly toy (okiagari-kobōshi) someone had scrawled an angry face on with a Sharpie.

“Punch him.”

I glanced from Kunikida to the doll, clenching and unclenching my fists in preparation as I stared down the doll with its beady black eyes.

Okay, here goes nothing...

Clenching my fists as tight as I could, I cocked my right arm back exactly the way Kunikida had shown me and released my punch. Wind whistled past my knuckles. A sharp, audible crack echoed throughout the room as my fist made contact with the doll. I looked to Kunikida as it reeled away from me with a loud squeal, my heart pounding in my throat and my fist stinging slightly from the hit.

“Not bad.”

Kunikida’s smile grew just a tiny bit wider and I instantly felt my heart beating faster at the acknowledgment. Nodding approvingly, the tall blonde gestured at the doll, which was slowly but surely uprighting itself on the tatami mat floor.

“Do that again. Other hand this time.”

I nodded back and drew my left fist back, preparing to strike it again.

Day Two: my second training session with Kunikida.

Hoping to spend a little more time with my handsome mentor before training officially began, I decided to arrive a little earlier than I had yesterday—so I could join him for a full meditation session rather than just the tail end of one. To my delight, I ended up arriving at the exact same time as Kunikida and I got to spend a full ten minutes sitting quietly by his side.

Just the two of us.

Alone.

Admittedly, I might’ve been just a little too excited to properly clear my mind and try to actually meditate, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. And at least I was able to think about someone other than Dazai today...

In fact, I was actually kind of excited to continue where we left off yesterday. Sure, maybe Kunikida was wearing a T-shirt under his gi this time (probably for the better. I’d probably die of a thirst-induced nosebleed if things had kept going the way they had) but I’d mentally prepared myself for anything and everything. I was really looking forward to learning how to break away from a sudden grab attack...

Especially if it meant getting to hold or be held by strong, handsome Kunikida...

Unfortunately for me though, after the... incident... Kunikida decided to abandon the grab counters entirely in favor of teaching me how to punch and block instead.

I guess he was still feeling understandably awkward about it.

Darn.

“Good.”

Pulling out his notebook, Kunikida paused to write something down.

“Keep it up, Kusunoki. I want to see you do that a few more times before we move on to blocking.”

I nodded and kept going, alternating between left and right punches as Kunikida walked over to the corner where a group of training dummies stood waiting on standby. I watched as he paused to look them over, his hair gleaming like finespun gold in the early morning light, his pure-white gi stretching over his broad back, his sage-colored eyes soft and contemplative as he studied the mannequins.

If only I could tell him the truth... That I really was okay with what had happened yesterday, that maybe I even liked it.

That I liked him.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, Kunikida turned around to look at me and my fist glanced off the doll’s cheek without actually hitting it.

One corner of his lips quirked upwards in amusement and I was so distracted by the way he was looking at me that it took me a moment to realize that Kunikida Doppo was smirking.

I flushed.

“Concentrate,” Kunikida rumbled, with the barest hint of a laugh.

“S-sorry.”

But my concentration was definitely shot. As I resumed punching at the doll, I found my gaze constantly wandering over to Kunikida, who was now pushing aside a training dummy that looked like it had been clawed by a large cat (probably Atsushi’s doing. If I recalled correctly, his Ability allowed him to transform into a white tiger). I watched him select the least battered wing-chun dummy in the set before forcibly returning my attention to the roly-poly doll I was abusing.

Even though Kunikida was wearing a shirt under his gi today, I could still see the way his muscles tightened as he moved...

“Kusunoki-kun.”

I stopped punching the dummy, which let out one final pained squeak, as Kunikida finally arrived with the wing-chun dummy in tow.

“This,” he said, setting it down in front of me with a heavy thud, “will be our next opponent. I’m going to use this to show you a few different blocking techniques. For that, I’m going to need your help.”

He tapped one of the three wooden pegs on the top row.

“Stand behind the dummy and move the arms towards me. Try to go slow so that you can watch what I’m doing.”

I nodded and got into position, watching and listening carefully as Kunikida taught me the moves. Fortunately, it didn’t take me very long to figure them out and a short while later, we switched off so I could practice.

“Good,” Kunikida said, nodding approvingly as I raised my forearm to block. “Keep that up, Kusunoki-kun. Just remember to concentrate.”

“Yes, sir!” was all I managed to get out before another arm came sliding towards me.

“I think you’re ready for the next phase,” Kunikida decided, the beginnings of a broad grin making its way onto his face.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         “What do you think? Want to try it?”

“Next phase?” I parroted, throwing my arm up in time to block another hit.

Kunikida nodded.

“Combining what I’ve taught you so far,” he said, a tiny spark growing in his eye. “I think you’re ready.”

And before I knew what hit me, that gorgeous, devilish smirk reappeared on his face, so fast it was almost out of character. Almost.

He looks so proud...

My heart raced.

I bet this is the face he makes when he’s doing something he’s passionate about.

I could not say no to that face.

“Sure.”

“Great!” Kunikida exclaimed. “Here’s how we’re going to do this. When I move the top arms on this dummy, I want you to duck. When I move the ones in the middle, you block. And when you see an opening of any kind—any that you feel safe taking—I want you to throw a punch.”

He tapped a blank spot in the middle section of the dummy.

“Right here. And don’t worry, I’ll go slow. You ready?”

“Yes!”

And with that, lesson three began. True to his word, Kunikida started slow—slow enough that I was able to get used to the hits fairly quickly. After just a few rounds, I was able to recognize the patterns Kunikida was using and as the opportunities for hits, blocks and ducking began to fall into a steady rhythm, I found my thoughts drifting...

I had no plans to use my Ability on Kunikida for ulterior motives. But was it possible to use my Ability for combat situations? Or to suss out potential enemies?

Kunikida aimed an arm at my head and I ducked.

What if—just what if—I ran into an enemy I was able to touch? Would I be able to use my Ability to tell when attacks were incoming? Or from what direction? Could I use it to save my life or another’s in an actual fight?

“Oda-san took out an entire battalion of soldiers before his demise,” Akutagawa’s voice echoed.

Another wooden arm came at my head and I ducked again.

Oda-san...

As I threw out my next punch, I thought back to the lone grave under the tree in the cemetery.

S. Oda...

I had no proof this was the same person as the “Oda-san” Akutagawa had spoken of in the parking garage. The only things the two seemed to have in common were the fact that both were deceased and they shared a last name—a very common one.

I blocked just as an arm came swinging in from my right.

“When they told me an Ability User who could see the future had appeared once more, I was set on capturing them at all costs... I thought perhaps you were the second coming of Oda-san.”

The top arm swung towards me and I ducked once again.

An Ability User who could see the future, like me...

From what Akutagawa had said, it seemed my Ability was similar to his, this Oda’s. Similar but not the same, apparently. But still useful enough that the Port Mafia had taken an interest in him.

Who was he? And what connection did he have with the Port Mafia?

I heard a soft thwack as my fist made contact with the center of the dummy once again.

Kunikida’s eyebrows furrowed together.

“Kusunoki...”

“Oda-san... That’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.”

Dazai knew of him. And he seemed to know Akutagawa too. Did the rivalry between the Agency and the Port Mafia stretch that far back?

But the way he’d laughed...

“Kusunoki.”

Dazai had laughed almost as if we’d been talking about an old friend...

And his face...

I threw out my left arm just in time to block the incoming hit.

He looked just like Professor Matsuyama did when we stood there in the cemetery in front of Kei’s grave. Such a quiet, yet wistful smile...

Just looking at him made my heart ache...

“Kusunoki!”

I came to with a sharp gasp just as a wooden peg came rushing towards my head.

There wasn’t enough time to block or duck!! What should I—?!

I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for impact. But all that happened was the arm coming to an abrupt stop at my temple. I opened my eyes to see Kunikida, standing on the other side of the wing-chun dummy, his grin now completely gone and his gray-green eyes stern.

“Kusunoki...”

I felt a light tap as Kunikida softly nudged the arm against my head.

“You were distracted,” he said, his frown deepening. “You do realize that in an actual fight, your opponent won’t give you many chances to strike back or defend yourself?”

“I... I know,” I mumbled, a slow flush of shame coloring my ears.

Unable to face him, bowed my head and looked away.

“I’m sorry.”

“‘Sorry?’”

Kunikida’s voice was low, troubled.

“I don’t mean to be harsh with you, Kusunoki-kun, but it’s dangerous for you to lose concentration when you’re in the middle of something like this. You could’ve gotten hurt.”

But as I found myself staring at a tiny bit of tatami unraveling on the floor, I heard Kunikida breathe a very heavy sigh from the other side of the dummy.

“I’m not angry with you, Kusunoki-kun,” Kunikida said softly, stepping out from behind the dummy. “Nor am I looking for an apology.”

He grew quiet.

“I just want to know if there’s something going on.”

I looked up.

“Huh?”

“You’re still distracted,” Kunikida said, now sounding a touch concerned. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

I hesitated.

Kunikida-san...

He was worried. About me.

I studied the tall, blonde detective’s face, his handsome features tightening in a show of unease. My stomach twisted painfully as I realized I’d done this to him.

I was the reason Kunikida was making such a face right now.

Should I tell him about the grave? Or even the case?

I remembered the way he’d looked at me the night I’d held that glass shard to my neck in the infirmary—the look of absolute horror at what I was about to do.

My stomach tightened further.

Or might it trouble him if he knew what kind of memories this case was about to bring back...?

I looked away.

“I’m alright, Kunikida-san...” I murmured, feeling my bangs shifting slightly over my eyes.

I lifted my hand to tuck them away and smiled.

“It’s really nothing... I was just thinking about my new assignment.”

One of Kunikida’s eyebrows lifted up towards his bangs. He adjusted his glasses and studied me.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “It was a little difficult getting started without a case partner but there’s no need to worry.”

I can’t make Kunikida worry. Not when he’s already doing so much for me...

I dropped my hand.

“Dazai actually helped me yesterday and it’s going okay now.”

At this, Kunikida’s eyes widened.

“Dazai... did?”

“Y-yeah.” I laughed a little. “I know. Surprising, right?”

When Kunikida didn’t speak, I suddenly realized I’d made a mistake.

Oh no. I just insulted his partner...! Quick, Kyou! Think of something nice to say!! About Dazai, as much as it hurts to!

“I—I mean, I know he’s not usually that serious about his work,” I babbled, “but he can be a surprisingly good mentor when he’s trying to be! Don’t you think? If anything—!!”

I flushed, my face suddenly burning like the steadily rising sun.

“I think I’m really lucky! To have both Dazai-san and Kunikida-san as my mentors!”

Agh! I said it!

I couldn’t take it. I turned around to hide my face as Kunikida’s eyes widened even further.

That was embarrassing! SO embarrassing! If only I had the guts to tell Kunikida what I thought of him without having to bring Dazai into it—!!

But maybe one day...?

“Kusunoki-kun...”

Kunikida’s voice was quiet, hesitant. Almost uncharacteristically so.

I turned around to see him standing there with an unreadable look in his beautiful sage-colored eyes.

“Is that...” he started, his gray-green eyes searching mine for something I couldn’t name.

He swallowed.

“Is that what you really think?”

I felt my breath catch in my throat.

“It... it is.”

“I see...”

He dropped his gaze. He looked like he was thinking very hard about something.

“...Kunikida-san?”

I took a step towards him.

Why was he looking like that? Did I say the wrong thing?

Did I upset him?

But when Kunikida glanced back up, the unreadable look was no longer visible and I found myself once again looking into the calm eyes of a professional.

I stopped moving towards him.

“Should we... go back to training?” I asked hesitantly.

Kunikida’s brows drew together.

“Training?”

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “We were working with the dummy?”

“Right...”

He frowned.

“You’re not tired?”

“No, not at all!” I lied, ignoring the subtle ache in my arms. “Honestly, I could even go for another hour if you want!”

Kunikida raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” he asked.

Crossing his arms, he came towards me.

“You really want to spend another hour training with me?” Kunikida asked, taking his olive-green notebook back out of his gi.

I could feel myself sweating bullets as his gray-green eyes raked over me.

I was starting to regret my words.

“Uh... yes?”

He sighed.

“You’re pushing yourself again, aren’t you, Kusunoki?” he said, to which my only response was a violent twitch.

Busted.

“Don’t do that,” he said, his expression softening. “If you push yourself too hard too fast, you’re going to make things more difficult for yourself down the line. Not to mention you still have the rest of the work day to get through.”

“Right,” I mumbled, rubbing the top of my head self-consciously even though it didn’t hurt.

“And on that note...”

Kunikida looked to his phone as it began emitting a subtle beeping noise.

“I think that’s all the time we have for today,” he said, silencing the alarm and looking back up at me. “Why don’t we end here and pick back up tomorrow? We actually got a lot further than I was expecting today and you’ve already improved a lot in just a couple sessions.”

He studied me for a moment before speaking again.

“...You practiced at home last night, didn’t you?”

I was taken aback.

“You can tell?”

“I can.”

Kunikida nodded at me and for a moment, there was a flicker of that beautiful smile again, the one he’d worn earlier this morning.

If I didn’t know any better...

I swallowed dryly, my stomach doing a weird sort of flip as I looked at him.

I’d say Kunikida looks proud of me...!

“Keep up the good work, Kusunoki-kun,” Kunikida said, turning back around to drag the training dummy away. “I’ll see you same time tomorrow morning. Just remember not to overexert yourself in the meantime, okay?”

He shot me a stern look over his shoulder just as I was about to reach for the dummy, to help him put it away.

“Y-yes, sir.”

“And Kusunoki?”

I let out a surprised squeak as Kunikida lightly swatted his notebook on top of my head.

Kunikida smiled.

“Don’t forget to concentrate.”

***

“Keep up the good work, Kusunoki-kun...”

I couldn’t help wiggling around a little in a sort of happy dance as I picked up the tea pot and moved it towards the cups I’d been preparing nearby in the break room.

He really was proud of me! I’d done something to impress Kunikida-san!

I thought back to the way he’d looked this morning, that playful smirk, those quiet little grins, those beautiful, absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous smiles...!!

I brought my hand to my cheek and sighed.

These training sessions were great!!

Something hot brushed against my finger and I jerked the teapot away from the first cup just as it began to overflow.

“Oh, shit.”

Kunikida had been telling me to concentrate all morning and here I was zoning out again.

I put the teapot down and sighed.

If I really wanted to be the kind of mentee Kunikida could be proud of, then I really had to start focusing more.

I reached for a towel and began wiping up the spilled tea.

That’s right. Focus, work hard, and someday—maybe someday soon—I could finally confess my feelings to Kunikida. I wanted to see him smile more—wanted to be one of the reasons he smiled every single day!

“Kyou-chan...”

Yes, to hear him call me by my name so casually would be the height of bliss!

“Kyou-chan!!”

I actually jumped as a black-clad hand descended on my shoulder.

I whirled.

“Y-Yosano-sensei?!”

“Daydreaming, are we?” Yosano drawled, looking every bit as amused as she sounded.

She reached over the small puddle I was trying to sop up and picked up the only full teacup on the counter, blowing on it softly before bringing it to her glossy pink lips, which were stretched wide in a very knowing smirk.

“I take it the training session went well?”

“H-how could you tell?” I squeaked, going red yet again.

“Oh, I dunno,” she said, leaning on the counter next to me. Her grin widened. “Might have something to do with that little dance you were doing earlier.”

I flushed even darker.

“You saw that?”

“You were humming too,” she pointed out, taking another sip of her tea. “Oh, don’t be embarrassed! I thought it was cute. I bet Kunikida would find it cute too, if you ever decide to show him.”

“Yosano-sensei!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” she laughed, her violet eyes sparkling as she regarded me. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to him, especially if you’re not ready to tell him. I’m just having a little fun with you, that’s all.”

“Thanks,” I breathed, lifting the teapot back up so I could fill the rest of the cups.

“But seriously,” Yosano said, holding out her cup for more tea. “Are you going to tell him any time soon? Because he’s really not good with this kind of thing and if you don’t...”

I put the teapot down as Yosano took her cup with her on her way out of the break room.

“If I don’t...?”

“Ah...”

Yosano paused by the door, her gaze dropping to the floor.

“Sorry, Kyou-chan. I shouldn’t have mentioned that,” she said quietly. “Not my place to. Just... keep in mind what I said, okay?”

“O-okay...”

And with that, she disappeared out into the hallway. Confused, I went out into the hallway with the tray of tea cups and began passing them out to my coworkers.

“He’s really not good with this kind of thing.”

What did she mean by that?

And what was she going to say before she stopped herself?

But as the tray emptied and I went back to my desk, I found my thoughts drifting from Yosano’s cryptic words back to Kunikida’s advice.

Stay focused and work hard. That was the way to the man’s heart.

Which meant it was time to get back to work. If I wanted to make it so that I wasn’t lying to Kunikida about making good headway in my case, I needed to verify the things Professor Matsuyama had said to me yesterday in the cemetery.

I opened my laptop, pulled up the search bar and started typing. A few moments later, I had what I was looking for: news articles from several years back.

The short one mentioning Kei’s suicide was easy enough to find but the information on Kei’s dead parents was a little harder to come by. After about a half hour of searching, I landed upon the obituary. Kei’s parents were indeed long since deceased and the remainder of his family had now moved out of Japan entirely and chosen to settle abroad in the US.

I leaned back in my chair and sighed, staring at the photo of Kei taken in high school, arm in arm with a boy I slowly began to recognize as a much younger Matsuyama Shin. It looked like they were celebrating their scholarships and entry into the university professor Matsuyama now taught at.

They looked like a couple of shounen manga heroes, blissfully unaware of what the future would bring...

I hit print and went to retrieve the documents.

With the police reports and these articles, I’d solved the first part of the case. I now knew exactly who Masaoka Kei was and what his relationship was to Professor Matsuyama.

As for the second part of the case...

“I want you to tell me if Sensei was responsible for Kei-san’s death.”

I placed the articles into the case folder and sighed.

At this point in the investigation, that answer was just about wrapped up as well. Most of the suspicious aspects of the case—the waiving away of the autopsy, the next-of-kin thing, even the professor sneaking off to mourn in private—all of that seemed to check out.

The only thing left unsolved was why the professor felt so guilty about Kei’s suicide.

I bit my lip.

I had promised to leave Natsuki out of any further investigations but I needed another lead if I wanted to close out this final part of the case.

Maybe I should call Nomura again, to give him an update and ask if there was anything else I might be able to look into.

I reached into my bag for my cell phone and immediately groaned when I pulled it back out.

Looks like I’d accidentally opened a video in my web browser while I was busy this morning and now my battery was completely drained. Grumbling to myself, I slid open the drawer that held my spare charger but the first thing I saw when I peeked inside wasn’t the slim white cable I was looking for.

It was the envelope the clerk at the police station had given me.

And Kei’s suicide note was still inside...

Heart pounding, I reached for it with trembling fingers.

Would this give me the answer I was searching for?

I pulled it out and began to read.

“To my dearest Shin-kun...”

My eyes widened.

It was addressed directly to the professor?

I placed the letter on the desk and smoothed it out on the polished wooden surface so I could see it better.

“To my dearest Shin-kun...

By the time you read this letter, I will have departed this world for the next. I apologize that you have to be the one to find me like this but I hope you won’t think too badly of me for it. It wasn’t my intention to leave you and Natsuki in this way. In fact, up until two days ago, I believed I would be parting ways with you at the airport in a few months’ time, with each of us heading for a future much brighter than the ones we’d imagined for ourselves in high school.

Shin-kun, I couldn’t be more proud of you.

I still remember when you had remedial lessons, when you’d come to me for help at the end of the day and I would jokingly offer my tutoring services in exchange for favors or snacks. I remember the day my parents died and how you’d been the one to comfort me when I was crying in the library. And I remember the day we’d arrived together at the university and how you’d fearlessly stepped through the archway while I faltered and watched you go on ahead.

And now, you’ve done it.

You, my best friend and brother, have been accepted into the program of your dreams. In several years time, you will be a history professor at your chosen university, lecturing starry-eyed students while your research papers make it into journals read all around the world. And not only that, but you’ll have Natsuki-chan, while I...”

Pausing for a moment, I squinted at the page and brought it closer to my face.

The ink looked like it was running here and the page was slightly stained...

“Are these...?”

“Natsuki-chan, huh?” said a voice in my ear. “She sounds cute. She single?”

I let out a surprised squeak.

Clapping my hand over my burning ear, I turned to my right to see Dazai perched at the edge of my desk, a thick bundle of electrical cables clutched in one hand.

“What the—?! Dazai-san,” I choked out, pushing my chair away from him as he looked at me.

I didn’t take my hand off of my ear.

“What are you doing at my desk?”

“I wanted to borrow this extension cord,” he said plainly, reaching over my mug of tea with one long, bandaged arm. “You’re not using it, right?”

“I am using it!” I snapped, pushing him away. “Can’t you see I’ve got my phone plugged in? And besides...”

I eyed the collection of electrical cables in his hand.

“Don’t you think you already have enough?”

“Hardly,” he snorted, trying to get around me as I kept pushing the cord away. “These are all way too short. I’m gonna need a bunch more if I want to make it work.”

“Make what work?” I asked, already dreading the answer.

“Oh, just a small project that may or may not grant me the painless death I’ve been longing for,” Dazai quipped.

Brightening up, he turned to me and smiled.

“In other words, I’m braiding these together to make a noose! Wanna help?”

Mortified, I pounced on my extension cord.

“Absolutely not!”

“Aww, c’mon, Kusunoki!” he whined, his eyes getting all big and puppy-like. “I’m not asking you to join me, I could just use a little help getting there! Please, pretty please?”

“I said no!” I exclaimed, my grip tightening on my extension cord.

“Hey, Kusunoki-kun...”

A shiver traveled through my arm and up my spine as Dazai dropped his voice low, his tone sultry and inviting as he spoke right into my ear again. I felt the heat in my face intensify as he began stroking my hand—the one that was still gripping the cable—with one long, thin finger.

“Come on, please?” he whispered, his eyes growing dark. “If this works, I won’t ask you for anything else ever again. I promise.”

His breath was so warm against my cheek. His brown eyes sparkled as they looked into mine.

“Be my accomplice?” he whispered.

Dazai smiled.

“Please...?”

“Please, please, keep what I’ve said to you today from my wife...”

I gasped.

Suddenly I was staring not into the eyes of the attractive, bandaged brunette but the eyes of Professor Matsuyama. I could practically feel the sea breeze on my face as it swept through the graveyard and as my mouth hung slack, I recalled the way the professor had gingerly touched his fingertips to the headstone before him and whispered the words aloud...

“I’ll be seeing you.”

Panic surging through me, I reached out and seized his arm.

“No, don’t!!”

CRASH.

All eyes in the room turned to me as I felt something warm and wet dripping down my arm and onto my skirt. I looked down to see that I’d knocked over the mug of jasmine tea that had been sitting on my desk and as I slowly took in the scene around me, I realized two things.

One, I was clutching Dazai’s bandaged forearm with both hands as if my life depended on it.

Two...

The tea had spilled all over my table and my copy of Kei’s letter was now completely illegible.